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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:30,200 --> 00:00:32,767 (WOMAN SNORING) 2 00:01:21,900 --> 00:01:23,967 (SNORING) 3 00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:26,233 Why couldn't she have been a fucking smoker? 4 00:01:26,267 --> 00:01:27,767 This has nothing to do 5 00:01:27,800 --> 00:01:30,400 with her being in such wonderful shape. 6 00:01:30,433 --> 00:01:32,767 The cause of our trouble here was our inability 7 00:01:32,800 --> 00:01:34,700 to come up with a drug, short of paint thinner, 8 00:01:34,733 --> 00:01:38,033 that would be at least somewhat novel to her system. 9 00:01:38,067 --> 00:01:39,400 She's built up a tolerance 10 00:01:39,433 --> 00:01:40,433 to everything. 11 00:01:40,467 --> 00:01:41,833 A tolerance? 12 00:01:41,867 --> 00:01:43,500 She's taking her fucking afternoon nap. 13 00:01:43,533 --> 00:01:44,967 Shut up, Igby! 14 00:01:45,600 --> 00:01:47,100 We're fine. 15 00:01:47,133 --> 00:01:48,300 (SNORING LOUDLY) 16 00:01:57,200 --> 00:01:58,333 (SNORING) 17 00:02:03,200 --> 00:02:04,467 It's all the fucking tennis. 18 00:02:05,033 --> 00:02:06,167 (GRUNTING) 19 00:02:09,800 --> 00:02:10,567 Ah. 20 00:02:16,467 --> 00:02:17,867 It's almost 6:00. 21 00:02:21,500 --> 00:02:22,767 (SNORING) 22 00:02:30,433 --> 00:02:31,400 Igby. 23 00:03:32,367 --> 00:03:34,567 MAN 1: ...bay state college. I mean, they've done it already. 24 00:03:34,600 --> 00:03:36,700 WOMAN 1: They'll do it. I don't know what it is, 25 00:03:36,733 --> 00:03:38,133 but I know they'll do it. 26 00:03:38,167 --> 00:03:39,900 Let's all drink to Bay State. 27 00:03:39,933 --> 00:03:41,933 MAN 2: No, let's drink to Julia. Have you met her yet? 28 00:03:41,967 --> 00:03:43,867 MAN 3: If she's anything like her sister... 29 00:03:43,900 --> 00:03:46,000 WOMAN 1: Aw, no, we'll drink to Johnny and Julia 30 00:03:46,033 --> 00:03:48,067 and Bay State power and love and happiness and... 31 00:03:49,500 --> 00:03:51,467 WOMAN 2: Oh, here you are. 32 00:03:51,500 --> 00:03:52,700 WOMAN 1: For the love of Pete, 33 00:03:52,733 --> 00:03:54,767 it's the witch and dopey. 34 00:03:54,800 --> 00:03:56,500 I've never been up here before. 35 00:03:56,533 --> 00:03:58,100 It's awfully quaint, isn't it? 36 00:03:58,133 --> 00:03:59,667 ALL: We like it. 37 00:03:59,700 --> 00:04:02,167 Dad, when are you going back to work? 38 00:04:04,033 --> 00:04:05,633 Soon. 39 00:04:05,667 --> 00:04:06,800 You're not really sick anymore. 40 00:04:06,833 --> 00:04:08,000 No. 41 00:04:08,033 --> 00:04:10,333 No, not really sick. 42 00:04:10,367 --> 00:04:12,433 But not completely well. 43 00:04:12,467 --> 00:04:14,067 Not yet, I don't think. 44 00:04:15,567 --> 00:04:16,667 When will you be better? 45 00:04:16,700 --> 00:04:17,933 In the spring. 46 00:04:17,967 --> 00:04:19,167 The spring? 47 00:04:19,200 --> 00:04:20,900 Mmm-hmm. I'm no good in the winter. 48 00:04:21,633 --> 00:04:23,133 These gray days... 49 00:04:24,267 --> 00:04:25,333 They're so sad. 50 00:04:26,333 --> 00:04:28,167 What about next winter? 51 00:04:52,800 --> 00:04:54,667 MIMI: Jason, tell me, dearest, 52 00:04:54,700 --> 00:04:56,433 are you planning on bathing this week? 53 00:04:57,667 --> 00:04:59,033 I beg your pardon? 54 00:04:59,067 --> 00:05:01,000 It seems to have slipped your mind last week. 55 00:05:01,033 --> 00:05:02,800 But I'm not dirty. 56 00:05:02,833 --> 00:05:04,600 No, not dirty, 57 00:05:04,633 --> 00:05:06,400 I mean, you've done nothing that would make you 58 00:05:06,433 --> 00:05:08,500 dirty for quite some time now. 59 00:05:08,533 --> 00:05:10,000 (LAUGHING) 60 00:05:10,033 --> 00:05:11,433 But you do reek, darling, 61 00:05:11,467 --> 00:05:13,967 of tobacco from your yellow toenails 62 00:05:14,000 --> 00:05:14,833 to your yellow fingernails 63 00:05:14,867 --> 00:05:16,333 to your yellow teeth 64 00:05:16,367 --> 00:05:17,933 to your yellow hair. 65 00:05:18,967 --> 00:05:20,733 Sorry to have offended. 66 00:05:21,533 --> 00:05:22,233 Me? 67 00:05:24,200 --> 00:05:25,800 A piece of gristle. 68 00:05:30,233 --> 00:05:32,200 Not on an empty stomach, dear. 69 00:05:37,133 --> 00:05:38,400 (CLATTERING) 70 00:05:39,833 --> 00:05:41,200 Excuse me. 71 00:06:10,733 --> 00:06:13,000 JASON: Boys, your mother was quite right 72 00:06:13,033 --> 00:06:14,267 to have chastised me. 73 00:06:16,733 --> 00:06:18,633 Good personal hygiene 74 00:06:18,667 --> 00:06:20,633 is one of the most 75 00:06:20,667 --> 00:06:23,167 essential disciplines a man can have 76 00:06:23,967 --> 00:06:25,433 in this world. 77 00:06:26,733 --> 00:06:27,800 Chin-chin! 78 00:06:42,800 --> 00:06:45,000 MIMI: Don't indulge him anymore, Jason. 79 00:06:45,033 --> 00:06:47,567 How can anyone be afraid of a clown? 80 00:06:47,600 --> 00:06:48,900 Just leave him. 81 00:06:48,933 --> 00:06:50,600 JASON: C'mon, old man. 82 00:06:50,633 --> 00:06:52,500 This is no way to be on your birthday. 83 00:06:54,433 --> 00:06:56,367 Everybody's gone home. 84 00:06:59,900 --> 00:07:02,233 There's nobody left downstairs. 85 00:07:02,267 --> 00:07:03,533 It's just you and me, now. 86 00:07:07,033 --> 00:07:08,067 Hey. 87 00:07:08,867 --> 00:07:10,000 It's just 88 00:07:10,033 --> 00:07:12,333 you and me, old man. 89 00:07:13,333 --> 00:07:14,200 Hmm? 90 00:07:30,900 --> 00:07:32,167 (BELL TOLLING) 91 00:07:33,467 --> 00:07:34,767 (CROWS CAWING) 92 00:07:38,333 --> 00:07:41,000 IGBY: If heaven is such a wonderful place, 93 00:07:41,033 --> 00:07:42,500 then how was getting crucified 94 00:07:42,533 --> 00:07:44,400 such a big fucking sacrifice? 95 00:07:47,500 --> 00:07:48,767 (FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING) 96 00:07:50,933 --> 00:07:52,633 Mrs. Slocumb, 97 00:07:52,667 --> 00:07:54,900 it's wonderful to see you again. 98 00:07:54,933 --> 00:07:56,300 I hope you drove. 99 00:07:56,333 --> 00:07:59,567 No more beautiful place on God's earth 100 00:07:59,600 --> 00:08:02,233 than Connecticut at Christmas time. 101 00:08:02,267 --> 00:08:04,000 Oliver drove me down from the city. 102 00:08:04,033 --> 00:08:06,200 Please. Please. 103 00:08:06,233 --> 00:08:09,233 Yes, and congratulations on Oliver. 104 00:08:09,267 --> 00:08:11,733 I hear he's already established himself 105 00:08:11,767 --> 00:08:14,800 as the cream of the Columbia freshman crop. 106 00:08:14,833 --> 00:08:18,800 We do take a lot of pride in seeing our boys succeed. 107 00:08:18,833 --> 00:08:20,133 But of course, 108 00:08:20,167 --> 00:08:21,733 we're here to discuss 109 00:08:21,767 --> 00:08:22,967 Igby. 110 00:08:24,167 --> 00:08:25,533 (DOOR OPENS) 111 00:08:25,567 --> 00:08:26,567 Honor roll. 112 00:08:26,600 --> 00:08:27,633 Honor roll? 113 00:08:27,667 --> 00:08:28,867 You flunked everything. 114 00:08:28,900 --> 00:08:30,400 Not even a "D" in art this time. 115 00:08:30,433 --> 00:08:32,167 Did you enjoy making me look like a fool? 116 00:08:32,200 --> 00:08:33,333 I don't know. 117 00:08:33,367 --> 00:08:34,733 You don't know? 118 00:08:34,767 --> 00:08:36,433 Poor Mrs. Slocumb doesn't have a clue 119 00:08:36,467 --> 00:08:37,600 what old Igby is up to. 120 00:08:37,633 --> 00:08:39,000 Dithering, foolish woman. 121 00:08:39,033 --> 00:08:39,967 Did you enjoy that? 122 00:08:40,000 --> 00:08:41,167 I don't know. 123 00:08:41,200 --> 00:08:42,867 I beg your pardon? No! 124 00:08:42,900 --> 00:08:44,267 Then what are you? 125 00:08:44,300 --> 00:08:46,133 A pathological liar? 126 00:08:47,000 --> 00:08:48,067 I don't know. 127 00:08:48,100 --> 00:08:50,633 You don't know? Liar! Liar! You little liar! 128 00:08:50,667 --> 00:08:52,900 How dare you! And where were you 129 00:08:52,933 --> 00:08:55,067 when your brother was flunking out of school? 130 00:08:55,100 --> 00:08:56,533 I was in college. 131 00:08:56,567 --> 00:08:58,133 Igby is not my fault. 132 00:09:00,967 --> 00:09:03,567 Did you even, for a second, 133 00:09:03,600 --> 00:09:05,400 think about how this reflects upon me? 134 00:09:06,067 --> 00:09:07,100 No. 135 00:09:07,133 --> 00:09:08,800 (SCOFFS) 136 00:09:08,833 --> 00:09:11,467 I am not going to go through this again. 137 00:09:11,500 --> 00:09:13,800 You had a chance. You flunked everything. 138 00:09:13,833 --> 00:09:16,167 That's almost impressive, actually. It really is. 139 00:09:16,200 --> 00:09:18,400 You know what's going to happen to you now, Mister? Do you know? 140 00:09:18,433 --> 00:09:20,433 Do you know where your Sterling performance 141 00:09:20,467 --> 00:09:22,067 is going to take you now... 142 00:09:23,800 --> 00:09:25,500 Little man? 143 00:09:25,533 --> 00:09:26,467 Hmm? 144 00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:29,067 Choate? 145 00:09:30,033 --> 00:09:31,000 (BUGLE PLAYING) 146 00:09:31,033 --> 00:09:32,533 MAN: Cadet report! 147 00:09:32,567 --> 00:09:33,633 (GASPS) Oh, shit! 148 00:09:34,767 --> 00:09:36,000 Second watch is early. 149 00:09:37,633 --> 00:09:39,400 MAN: Lights out! 150 00:09:39,433 --> 00:09:41,367 (BROKEN UP A DING DONG PLAYING) 151 00:09:41,400 --> 00:09:43,567 In your bunks! 152 00:09:43,600 --> 00:09:45,233 MAN 2: You heard him. Let's go! Let's go! 153 00:09:46,833 --> 00:09:49,067 All right, Mr. Patterson, lights out! 154 00:09:50,367 --> 00:09:51,600 What part of "lights out" 155 00:09:51,633 --> 00:09:53,233 don't you understand, Patterson? 156 00:09:54,967 --> 00:09:56,333 Turtle. The spray! 157 00:09:56,367 --> 00:09:58,367 MAN: In your bunk, Mistletoe! 158 00:09:58,400 --> 00:10:00,200 * Falling down the road 159 00:10:00,233 --> 00:10:02,267 * In the middle of the light 160 00:10:02,300 --> 00:10:04,367 * Say to myself you're gonna be here all night 161 00:10:04,400 --> 00:10:06,300 All right, Fredrick, you know the rules. 162 00:10:06,333 --> 00:10:08,067 * Try to find myself and go 163 00:10:09,733 --> 00:10:10,633 Turtle! 164 00:10:13,100 --> 00:10:14,233 MAN: Both of you, 165 00:10:14,267 --> 00:10:16,067 lights out! In your bunks! 166 00:10:16,100 --> 00:10:18,833 * That way you know you'll see you'll never go slow 167 00:10:32,267 --> 00:10:35,533 * See yourself on a thousand times 168 00:10:35,567 --> 00:10:38,933 * I'm trying make myself I'm never gonna cry 169 00:10:38,967 --> 00:10:41,467 * You know the way in the day I fall * 170 00:10:42,000 --> 00:10:43,933 (GRUNTING) 171 00:10:43,967 --> 00:10:45,800 D.H.: This is your godfather, Igby. 172 00:10:45,833 --> 00:10:47,533 Are you listening to me? 173 00:10:47,567 --> 00:10:49,433 This is the best thing that could've happened to you, 174 00:10:49,467 --> 00:10:51,600 military school. Best thing in the world. 175 00:10:51,633 --> 00:10:53,600 To get out of that comfortable world 176 00:10:53,633 --> 00:10:55,467 you were raised in. Strike out on your own. 177 00:10:55,500 --> 00:10:57,767 You know those East Coast country club schools 178 00:10:57,800 --> 00:10:59,867 do you no good in the real world. 179 00:10:59,900 --> 00:11:02,733 It might be tough now, but it's gonna make you tough. 180 00:11:02,767 --> 00:11:05,567 Unlike the rest of your coddled contemporaries. 181 00:11:06,133 --> 00:11:06,933 Fire! 182 00:11:18,233 --> 00:11:21,633 And Igby goes down. 183 00:11:21,667 --> 00:11:24,067 D.H.: Bet you've made some, uh, real buddies. 184 00:11:24,100 --> 00:11:25,533 Haven't you, Igby? 185 00:11:27,200 --> 00:11:28,767 Igby has buddies. 186 00:11:28,800 --> 00:11:29,933 Haven't you got buddies, Igby? 187 00:11:29,967 --> 00:11:31,200 Many. 188 00:11:31,233 --> 00:11:33,867 You have that buddy with the cute little name. 189 00:11:33,900 --> 00:11:36,367 That, uh, that little buddy, Tortoise. 190 00:11:36,967 --> 00:11:38,100 Turtle. 191 00:11:38,900 --> 00:11:40,100 Turtle? 192 00:11:40,133 --> 00:11:41,267 Turtle. 193 00:11:41,300 --> 00:11:42,667 He was my best buddy. 194 00:11:42,700 --> 00:11:45,533 Then his rifle backfired and blew his face off. 195 00:11:45,567 --> 00:11:47,033 We all learned a valuable lesson 196 00:11:47,067 --> 00:11:48,567 about weapon maintenance that day. 197 00:11:48,600 --> 00:11:50,767 Why didn't the school inform me? 198 00:11:50,800 --> 00:11:52,467 It wasn't the school's fault. 199 00:11:52,500 --> 00:11:53,867 They were great about it. 200 00:11:53,900 --> 00:11:55,867 Paid for the dry-cleaning and everything. 201 00:11:55,900 --> 00:11:57,667 Not because they had to, 202 00:11:57,700 --> 00:11:59,900 but because it was the right thing to do. 203 00:12:02,233 --> 00:12:04,733 I believe that, um, certain people in life 204 00:12:04,767 --> 00:12:06,633 are meant to fall by the wayside, 205 00:12:06,667 --> 00:12:08,300 to serve as warnings 206 00:12:08,333 --> 00:12:09,233 for the rest of us. 207 00:12:09,267 --> 00:12:10,367 Signposts along the way. 208 00:12:10,400 --> 00:12:11,300 To where? 209 00:12:13,933 --> 00:12:14,800 Success. 210 00:12:16,767 --> 00:12:18,300 Our father would be 211 00:12:18,333 --> 00:12:20,600 a "slippery when schizophrenic" sign, for instance. 212 00:12:22,900 --> 00:12:24,633 Along the highway of life. 213 00:12:27,567 --> 00:12:29,467 This summer 214 00:12:29,500 --> 00:12:31,533 I want you to come and work for me. 215 00:12:32,267 --> 00:12:33,867 Work with my crew. 216 00:12:33,900 --> 00:12:37,500 Renovate some of my New York properties. 217 00:12:37,533 --> 00:12:40,033 You up to bein' exploited by your old pal this summer? 218 00:12:40,067 --> 00:12:41,300 (LAUGHING) 219 00:12:43,200 --> 00:12:44,233 (CHUCKLING) 220 00:12:44,267 --> 00:12:45,733 What do you say, Igby? 221 00:12:45,767 --> 00:12:47,500 Stay at your summer house at the Hamptons? 222 00:12:47,533 --> 00:12:48,767 Uh, on the weekends. 223 00:12:48,800 --> 00:12:49,833 I'm your man, sir. 224 00:12:50,467 --> 00:12:52,200 Good! 225 00:12:52,233 --> 00:12:54,833 Good! When are you headed back to the academy? 226 00:12:54,867 --> 00:12:56,600 0700 tomorrow morning, sir. 227 00:12:57,567 --> 00:13:00,333 (NO.1 PURE ALCOHOL PLAYING) 228 00:13:03,433 --> 00:13:05,167 * You know that feeling 229 00:13:05,200 --> 00:13:07,233 * There upon the ceiling 230 00:13:07,267 --> 00:13:10,067 * Soon you're gonna be a man 231 00:13:10,100 --> 00:13:12,267 * You've gotta twist that throttle 232 00:13:12,300 --> 00:13:14,000 * Drink that bottle 233 00:13:14,033 --> 00:13:16,233 * Boy, you'll be a superman 234 00:13:17,267 --> 00:13:18,933 * The world is waiting 235 00:13:18,967 --> 00:13:20,900 * Your heart is shaking 236 00:13:20,933 --> 00:13:24,067 * You're drowning but at least you're clean 237 00:13:24,100 --> 00:13:26,967 * But living's easy, dying's easy 238 00:13:27,000 --> 00:13:28,400 Sorry. 239 00:13:28,433 --> 00:13:31,500 * Something in between to thrill me 240 00:13:31,533 --> 00:13:34,533 * Number one pure alcohol 241 00:13:34,567 --> 00:13:37,367 * I fuel you up you fool yourself * 242 00:13:39,767 --> 00:13:41,900 MAN: "This letter is to inform you, 243 00:13:41,933 --> 00:13:43,900 "the recipient, that my son, 244 00:13:45,000 --> 00:13:46,900 "the bearer of this letter, 245 00:13:46,933 --> 00:13:49,167 "has my permission to use my credit card..." 246 00:13:49,200 --> 00:13:50,800 You can take your break now, Kevin. 247 00:13:50,833 --> 00:13:52,067 Thank you. 248 00:13:52,100 --> 00:13:53,267 May I help you, son? 249 00:13:53,300 --> 00:13:54,933 Yeah, I need a room. 250 00:13:54,967 --> 00:13:57,400 And you have a reservation? 251 00:13:57,433 --> 00:13:58,800 I assume my mother made one. 252 00:13:58,833 --> 00:13:59,767 Under her name? 253 00:14:02,933 --> 00:14:04,333 This is your mother? 254 00:14:04,367 --> 00:14:05,233 Yep. 255 00:14:08,633 --> 00:14:11,467 No. No reservation under that name. 256 00:14:11,500 --> 00:14:13,100 (SIGHS) That is so typical. 257 00:14:13,133 --> 00:14:14,800 In town looking at schools, are you? 258 00:14:14,833 --> 00:14:16,333 Yeah, colleges. 259 00:14:16,367 --> 00:14:17,800 She had to fly home. 260 00:14:17,833 --> 00:14:20,700 I have a brother, a teenager. Bit of a problem. 261 00:14:20,733 --> 00:14:22,167 Every family has one. 262 00:14:22,200 --> 00:14:23,300 Yeah. 263 00:14:23,333 --> 00:14:25,800 So what colleges are you lookin' at, son? 264 00:14:25,833 --> 00:14:27,000 All of 'em, really. 265 00:14:28,367 --> 00:14:30,267 Just so long as it's here. 266 00:14:30,300 --> 00:14:31,833 Here in the Midwest. 267 00:14:31,867 --> 00:14:33,267 I hear ya. 268 00:14:36,833 --> 00:14:39,567 IGBY: Hello, is Georgie there? Oh, he isn't? 269 00:14:39,600 --> 00:14:41,633 This is, uh, Mr. Slocumb, 270 00:14:41,667 --> 00:14:43,667 Georgie's favorite teacher from the academy. 271 00:14:44,233 --> 00:14:46,433 Who are you? 272 00:14:46,467 --> 00:14:49,333 Really? I didn't know Georgie had a sister. 273 00:14:49,367 --> 00:14:51,667 Well, uh, I'm just in town for a little while 274 00:14:51,700 --> 00:14:53,733 at the, uh, O'Hare Hilton. 275 00:14:55,833 --> 00:14:58,267 Yeah, but, listen, what are you up to? 276 00:15:01,600 --> 00:15:04,300 Yeah, but I'm an incredibly cool and young teacher. 277 00:15:06,167 --> 00:15:07,800 Why? How old are you? 278 00:15:10,367 --> 00:15:11,133 Really? 279 00:15:12,200 --> 00:15:13,567 You sound older than 11. 280 00:15:15,433 --> 00:15:17,533 Yeah, you're right. It's probably all the cigarettes. 281 00:15:17,567 --> 00:15:19,133 (TELEPHONE RINGING) 282 00:15:19,967 --> 00:15:21,133 MIMI: Hello? 283 00:15:21,167 --> 00:15:22,500 MAN: Mimi Slocumb, please. 284 00:15:22,533 --> 00:15:24,067 Yes, this is she. 285 00:15:24,100 --> 00:15:25,533 I'm calling from the O'Hare Hilton. 286 00:15:35,433 --> 00:15:36,800 (KNOCKING AT DOOR) 287 00:15:45,167 --> 00:15:46,500 Hi. 288 00:15:47,967 --> 00:15:50,033 You can stand at attention there, Slocumb. 289 00:15:56,867 --> 00:15:58,667 What exactly 290 00:15:58,700 --> 00:16:01,100 do you think you're doing here, Slocumb? 291 00:16:03,133 --> 00:16:04,700 The Ritz-Carlton was full. 292 00:16:04,733 --> 00:16:06,467 (MIMI SCREAMS) 293 00:16:06,500 --> 00:16:08,267 You know I'm very tense these days, 294 00:16:08,300 --> 00:16:11,100 very anxious about all of Igby's trouble. 295 00:16:11,133 --> 00:16:13,267 My son in drug camp, for God's sake, 296 00:16:13,300 --> 00:16:15,700 and then you make me so very, very cross. 297 00:16:15,733 --> 00:16:17,367 And I take the trouble 298 00:16:17,400 --> 00:16:20,067 to tell you specifically what I require, 299 00:16:20,100 --> 00:16:22,100 a half a grapefruit... Mimi. 300 00:16:22,133 --> 00:16:23,100 Let's, um, 301 00:16:24,600 --> 00:16:26,100 let's get off the maid, Mimi. 302 00:16:26,133 --> 00:16:26,867 (MUFFLED) Help! 303 00:16:27,800 --> 00:16:28,967 IGBY: Super cadet 304 00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:31,300 has got this big smile on his face. 305 00:16:31,333 --> 00:16:33,600 No one takes him seriously. 306 00:16:33,633 --> 00:16:35,933 No one knows that he's been expelled that morning. 307 00:16:37,367 --> 00:16:38,567 They scream 308 00:16:38,600 --> 00:16:41,400 "jump," and surprise, 309 00:16:41,433 --> 00:16:44,400 he does a swan dive onto the pavement. 310 00:16:44,433 --> 00:16:46,667 You can still see the stain in the pavement 311 00:16:46,700 --> 00:16:48,033 where his head popped open. 312 00:16:49,333 --> 00:16:51,667 Every morning, I used to use that blotch to know 313 00:16:51,700 --> 00:16:53,567 where to line up for breakfast formation. 314 00:16:54,600 --> 00:16:56,800 Do you contemplate suicide? 315 00:16:56,833 --> 00:16:58,100 Constantly. 316 00:16:58,133 --> 00:17:00,900 No. You totally missed the point of my story. 317 00:17:00,933 --> 00:17:03,033 Have I? Yeah, completely. 318 00:17:03,067 --> 00:17:05,100 It's about the hypocrisy of the place, 319 00:17:05,133 --> 00:17:06,667 which I couldn't tolerate. 320 00:17:06,700 --> 00:17:09,700 You let me do my job, and you do yours. 321 00:17:09,733 --> 00:17:11,000 I'm trying to fucking help you. 322 00:17:11,033 --> 00:17:13,100 You think I need help? Apparently. 323 00:17:13,133 --> 00:17:16,767 You think that I don't know how to do my job? 324 00:17:16,800 --> 00:17:18,633 Well, I mean, no offense, 325 00:17:18,667 --> 00:17:20,733 but how good could you be, working at this place? 326 00:17:20,767 --> 00:17:22,633 You know, I can only be as effective 327 00:17:22,667 --> 00:17:24,400 as you allow me to be. 328 00:17:24,433 --> 00:17:26,433 Just tried to help you with my story. 329 00:17:26,467 --> 00:17:29,067 How did you feel about what the boy did? 330 00:17:29,100 --> 00:17:31,167 I feel like he should've really 331 00:17:31,200 --> 00:17:34,133 reconsidered his fucking options, don't you? 332 00:17:34,167 --> 00:17:35,533 What are your options? 333 00:17:35,567 --> 00:17:37,067 I don't know yet. 334 00:17:37,100 --> 00:17:39,333 Who were you trying to hurt with the pills? 335 00:17:39,367 --> 00:17:42,100 Nobody. I was improvising as I went. 336 00:17:42,133 --> 00:17:44,000 I actually didn't give it a lot of thought. 337 00:17:44,033 --> 00:17:46,200 I think that you are much more aware 338 00:17:46,233 --> 00:17:47,700 than even you realize. 339 00:17:47,733 --> 00:17:49,333 Yeah? Well, 340 00:17:49,367 --> 00:17:51,533 you're an idiot, so... 341 00:17:51,567 --> 00:17:53,900 (LAUGHING) What the fuck are you doing? 342 00:17:53,933 --> 00:17:55,733 I don't like being called an idiot. 343 00:17:55,767 --> 00:17:58,333 You prick! You can't fucking hit me! 344 00:17:58,367 --> 00:18:01,400 (PANTING) 345 00:18:01,433 --> 00:18:04,933 Next fall, you'll be starting at yet another school, Igby. 346 00:18:04,967 --> 00:18:07,367 Are you gonna try to make an effort this time around? 347 00:18:12,800 --> 00:18:14,400 I'm considering my options. 348 00:18:16,300 --> 00:18:17,533 MAN: Am I to understand 349 00:18:17,567 --> 00:18:18,933 you have four separate doctors 350 00:18:18,967 --> 00:18:20,800 all writing you prescriptions? 351 00:18:20,833 --> 00:18:22,433 MIMI: It's a point of convenience. 352 00:18:22,467 --> 00:18:24,800 With no knowledge of what the others are prescribing! Tsk! 353 00:18:24,833 --> 00:18:27,000 My dear man, I assure you, I need my peppies. 354 00:18:27,033 --> 00:18:28,733 Perhaps if you cut down on the valium 355 00:18:28,767 --> 00:18:30,133 and the sleeping pills, 356 00:18:30,167 --> 00:18:31,600 you'd have more energy. 357 00:18:31,633 --> 00:18:33,267 Without them I get very tense. 358 00:18:33,300 --> 00:18:34,733 You get tense because you 359 00:18:34,767 --> 00:18:36,767 pop speed like candy. 360 00:18:36,800 --> 00:18:38,667 (COOING) Bad Mrs. Slocumb. 361 00:18:38,700 --> 00:18:40,933 I beg your pardon. 362 00:18:40,967 --> 00:18:42,933 Patients actually tolerate 363 00:18:42,967 --> 00:18:45,033 this cheeky-little-shit routine of yours? 364 00:18:45,067 --> 00:18:47,300 Find it cute, do they? 365 00:18:47,333 --> 00:18:48,367 Mrs. Slocumb... 366 00:18:48,400 --> 00:18:49,000 Out! 367 00:18:57,767 --> 00:18:59,133 I'm not well. 368 00:18:59,167 --> 00:19:00,767 You mean literally? 369 00:19:00,800 --> 00:19:02,100 Yes, literally. They've run tests. 370 00:19:04,633 --> 00:19:06,133 D.H.: This doesn't seem so bad. 371 00:19:06,167 --> 00:19:08,000 As nice a place as any to spend the spring, huh? 372 00:19:08,033 --> 00:19:09,533 Round out your rough edges. 373 00:19:09,567 --> 00:19:11,033 This'll do for ya. 374 00:19:11,067 --> 00:19:13,133 I still want you to come and work for me this summer, 375 00:19:13,600 --> 00:19:14,967 Igby. 376 00:19:15,000 --> 00:19:17,800 Stay with Bunny and me at the summer house. What do you think? 377 00:19:17,833 --> 00:19:19,033 Yeah. 378 00:19:19,067 --> 00:19:21,733 Now, listen, the reason, uh, that Mimi, 379 00:19:21,767 --> 00:19:24,800 your mother, hasn't been able to 380 00:19:24,833 --> 00:19:26,567 visit you, I'm sure she wanted to. 381 00:19:26,600 --> 00:19:28,467 She went to the hospital 382 00:19:28,500 --> 00:19:30,233 for a bit of a rest, and, uh, 383 00:19:30,267 --> 00:19:32,100 they discovered something else. 384 00:19:32,133 --> 00:19:34,600 Something rather... Rather bad. 385 00:19:34,633 --> 00:19:36,000 She's getting treatment for it 386 00:19:36,033 --> 00:19:38,567 and everybody's damn confident she'll be fine, but... 387 00:19:39,633 --> 00:19:41,300 You know what mastectomy is? 388 00:19:43,400 --> 00:19:44,733 (SIGHS) 389 00:19:44,767 --> 00:19:46,400 Your house... 390 00:19:46,433 --> 00:19:47,833 It's on the beach, right? 391 00:19:49,567 --> 00:19:50,500 D.H.: Contract. 392 00:19:51,667 --> 00:19:52,867 It's a contract. 393 00:19:52,900 --> 00:19:55,000 See, families should be run like companies 394 00:19:55,033 --> 00:19:56,633 with everybody's responsibilities 395 00:19:56,667 --> 00:19:58,567 clearly defined. 396 00:19:58,600 --> 00:20:00,633 Children, at the age of reason, 397 00:20:00,667 --> 00:20:02,567 should be provided with legal representation 398 00:20:02,600 --> 00:20:05,267 and a contract drawn up. 399 00:20:05,300 --> 00:20:07,700 All the best relationships are based on contracts. 400 00:20:07,733 --> 00:20:10,067 Bunny and I have a contract. 401 00:20:10,100 --> 00:20:12,233 Now that you're gonna come and work for me 402 00:20:12,267 --> 00:20:14,367 we're gonna have one. 403 00:20:14,400 --> 00:20:16,433 And that piece of paper, Igby, 404 00:20:16,467 --> 00:20:17,833 is your clean slate. 405 00:20:22,100 --> 00:20:24,600 (VOMITING) 406 00:20:24,633 --> 00:20:26,433 You know, you could just take a later shuttle 407 00:20:26,467 --> 00:20:27,933 back to D.C. 408 00:20:27,967 --> 00:20:29,700 MIMI: Mmm, I'm past the worst of it, I think. 409 00:20:29,733 --> 00:20:31,200 (COUGHING) 410 00:20:31,233 --> 00:20:35,500 I'm meeting that dean from St. Anthony's, McKaye, 411 00:20:35,533 --> 00:20:37,267 in the morning, to beg him 412 00:20:37,300 --> 00:20:39,267 to admit your brother this fall. 413 00:20:39,300 --> 00:20:41,467 A mother's work is never done. 414 00:20:41,500 --> 00:20:43,200 Mmm. D.H. is collecting Igby today? 415 00:20:43,233 --> 00:20:44,533 Yeah. 416 00:20:44,567 --> 00:20:47,033 He's picking him up from "the camp." 417 00:20:47,067 --> 00:20:50,333 What a great investment that has proven to be. 418 00:20:52,600 --> 00:20:56,033 Getting to hear, for two months, on a weekly basis, 419 00:20:56,067 --> 00:20:58,100 just how much my son hates me. 420 00:20:58,133 --> 00:21:01,133 That's always been one of his favorite topics of conversation. 421 00:21:01,167 --> 00:21:03,433 His creation was an act of animosity. 422 00:21:03,467 --> 00:21:05,133 Why shouldn't his life be one? 423 00:21:06,667 --> 00:21:07,733 (GAGGING) 424 00:21:08,600 --> 00:21:10,067 (VOMITS) 425 00:21:10,100 --> 00:21:11,800 (COUGHS) 426 00:21:11,833 --> 00:21:13,733 Listen, Ollie, this summer, 427 00:21:13,767 --> 00:21:16,600 Igby's going to bunk with you at Columbia during the week. 428 00:21:16,633 --> 00:21:18,633 You both can go to the Hamptons on the weekends. 429 00:21:18,667 --> 00:21:20,900 Yes, of course. 430 00:21:20,933 --> 00:21:23,500 I'll baby-sit Igby all summer long. 431 00:21:23,533 --> 00:21:26,233 You know, you have been a very bad older brother. 432 00:21:29,967 --> 00:21:31,367 (MUTTERING) And yet you're the one he hates. 433 00:21:33,533 --> 00:21:37,300 TOMMY: Basically, it's like reverse Darwinism. 434 00:21:37,333 --> 00:21:41,167 A situation in which a less evolved species 435 00:21:41,200 --> 00:21:43,133 is better equipped to survive 436 00:21:43,167 --> 00:21:45,400 than a more evolved creature. 437 00:21:45,433 --> 00:21:46,967 Which, if you think about it, 438 00:21:47,000 --> 00:21:49,233 isn't really reverse Darwinism, 439 00:21:49,267 --> 00:21:50,400 so much as 440 00:21:50,433 --> 00:21:52,400 bigger-picture Darwinism, if you will. 441 00:21:53,900 --> 00:21:54,833 What? 442 00:21:56,167 --> 00:21:57,333 (DOOR OPENING) 443 00:22:01,867 --> 00:22:02,767 (BANGING) 444 00:22:06,300 --> 00:22:08,200 Tommy? Uh, yeah. 445 00:22:08,233 --> 00:22:09,600 What's happening? 446 00:22:09,633 --> 00:22:11,267 Did you hear that? We were out there for, uh... 447 00:22:11,300 --> 00:22:13,500 Tommy, what are you doing? 448 00:22:13,533 --> 00:22:14,700 Oh, nothing. 449 00:22:14,733 --> 00:22:15,800 Did you hear the locks? 450 00:22:15,833 --> 00:22:17,200 It needs oil, 451 00:22:17,233 --> 00:22:18,333 or something. 452 00:22:18,367 --> 00:22:19,567 TOMMY: I'll fix that. 453 00:22:19,600 --> 00:22:21,267 Look at this. Look at this guy. 454 00:22:21,300 --> 00:22:23,833 Look at this strapping young working hunk of manhood. 455 00:22:23,867 --> 00:22:25,867 That's my godson, Igby. 456 00:22:27,067 --> 00:22:29,133 Ever hear that name, "Igby"? 457 00:22:29,167 --> 00:22:31,800 It's funny. You met his brother Ollie at the office the other day. 458 00:22:31,833 --> 00:22:33,033 Oh, yeah, yeah. 459 00:22:33,733 --> 00:22:35,100 How you doin'? 460 00:22:35,133 --> 00:22:36,200 Good. 461 00:22:38,333 --> 00:22:39,733 Igby. Igby. 462 00:22:41,400 --> 00:22:43,233 How you doin'? 463 00:22:43,267 --> 00:22:45,633 "Well", you're doin' "well." 464 00:22:45,667 --> 00:22:48,400 (BOHEMIAN LIKE YOU PLAYING) 465 00:22:51,433 --> 00:22:54,300 How's the work comin' along there, uh, stud? 466 00:22:54,333 --> 00:22:56,367 Um, well? 467 00:22:56,400 --> 00:22:58,200 Do we need this wall? 468 00:22:58,233 --> 00:23:00,133 D.H.: 3,000 square feet over! 469 00:23:01,400 --> 00:23:03,300 We got the... You got new plumbing, 470 00:23:03,333 --> 00:23:05,833 what do you call, risers, so we have very... 471 00:23:05,867 --> 00:23:07,300 We've got 27 windows. 472 00:23:09,267 --> 00:23:11,267 What are you doing, you little reptile? 473 00:23:12,867 --> 00:23:14,167 Look at this. 474 00:23:18,967 --> 00:23:21,567 * You got a great car 475 00:23:21,600 --> 00:23:23,400 * Yeah, what's wrong with it today 476 00:23:23,433 --> 00:23:25,133 * I used to have one too 477 00:23:25,167 --> 00:23:26,767 * Maybe I'll come and have a look 478 00:23:26,800 --> 00:23:28,200 * I really love 479 00:23:29,467 --> 00:23:30,733 Igby! 480 00:23:30,767 --> 00:23:32,633 Hi, honey! 481 00:23:32,667 --> 00:23:34,967 * See where lookin' pretty cool will get ya 482 00:23:40,667 --> 00:23:42,300 * So what do you do? 483 00:23:43,300 --> 00:23:45,433 * Oh, yeah I wait tables too 484 00:23:45,467 --> 00:23:47,100 * No, I haven't heard your band 485 00:23:47,133 --> 00:23:48,667 * 'cause you guys are pretty new 486 00:23:48,700 --> 00:23:49,867 * But if you dig 487 00:23:50,667 --> 00:23:52,333 * On vegan food 488 00:23:52,367 --> 00:23:54,400 * Come over to my work 489 00:23:54,433 --> 00:23:55,767 * I'll have them cook you somethin' 490 00:23:55,800 --> 00:23:57,867 * That you'll really love 491 00:23:57,900 --> 00:23:59,700 * 'cause I like you 492 00:23:59,733 --> 00:24:01,833 * Yeah, I like you 493 00:24:01,867 --> 00:24:05,067 * And I'm feelin' so bohemian like you 494 00:24:05,100 --> 00:24:07,100 * Yeah, I like you 495 00:24:07,133 --> 00:24:08,833 * Yeah, I like you 496 00:24:08,867 --> 00:24:11,333 * And I feel, whoa, whoo 497 00:24:14,000 --> 00:24:15,533 * Ooh, ooh, ooh 498 00:24:19,367 --> 00:24:21,333 It's not that cold out here. 499 00:24:21,767 --> 00:24:22,733 No. 500 00:24:24,067 --> 00:24:25,733 Who are you? 501 00:24:25,767 --> 00:24:26,800 Sookie. 502 00:24:26,833 --> 00:24:27,900 Sookie? 503 00:24:27,933 --> 00:24:29,233 Sookie Sapperstein. 504 00:24:29,267 --> 00:24:30,333 Yeah? 505 00:24:31,000 --> 00:24:32,000 Yeah. 506 00:24:35,833 --> 00:24:38,133 Are you somebody's daughter? 507 00:24:38,167 --> 00:24:39,833 Yes, I'm somebody's daughter. 508 00:24:39,867 --> 00:24:41,600 I mean somebody here at this party. 509 00:24:42,667 --> 00:24:44,067 No. 510 00:24:44,100 --> 00:24:45,367 Then why are you here? 511 00:24:46,767 --> 00:24:48,833 I'm with the catering company. 512 00:24:48,867 --> 00:24:50,533 The woman hired us for the party. 513 00:24:50,567 --> 00:24:52,667 Why do you think I'm dressed like a figure skater? 514 00:24:53,333 --> 00:24:54,267 Oh. 515 00:24:55,033 --> 00:24:57,167 Bunny hired you. 516 00:24:57,200 --> 00:24:58,767 She's my godmother. 517 00:25:01,067 --> 00:25:04,267 Actually, she's not. Her husband, D.H. Banes, 518 00:25:04,300 --> 00:25:05,567 he's my godfather. 519 00:25:06,367 --> 00:25:07,900 Hey, are those cloves? 520 00:25:09,333 --> 00:25:11,567 Outstanding! Can I bum one? 521 00:25:11,600 --> 00:25:13,133 (SEAGULLS SQUAWKING) 522 00:25:15,600 --> 00:25:16,400 No. 523 00:25:18,933 --> 00:25:20,933 (PEOPLE CHATTERING) 524 00:25:20,967 --> 00:25:22,167 IGBY: Got a light? 525 00:25:25,433 --> 00:25:26,833 And a cigarette? 526 00:25:30,167 --> 00:25:31,067 (MAN LAUGHING) 527 00:25:35,800 --> 00:25:38,967 Well Rachel, I see you've, uh, you've met the boys. 528 00:25:39,000 --> 00:25:40,433 Actually we've already met. 529 00:25:40,467 --> 00:25:42,300 Bunny, Rachel is the choreographer 530 00:25:42,333 --> 00:25:43,833 I was telling you about, 531 00:25:43,867 --> 00:25:45,900 who's renting that commercial space from us on... 532 00:25:45,933 --> 00:25:48,000 Down in Soho, using it as a studio. 533 00:25:48,033 --> 00:25:50,233 Remember? How wonderful. 534 00:25:51,067 --> 00:25:52,400 Boys... 535 00:25:53,300 --> 00:25:55,567 (BUNNY LAUGHING) 536 00:25:55,600 --> 00:25:59,267 It's so wonderful you could come and stay. 537 00:25:59,300 --> 00:26:01,700 Igby, I could just eat you with a spoon. 538 00:26:01,733 --> 00:26:02,933 Don't. 539 00:26:02,967 --> 00:26:04,700 (LAUGHING) 540 00:26:04,733 --> 00:26:07,033 BUNNY: Now, when did you get out of camp? 541 00:26:07,067 --> 00:26:08,333 Two months ago. 542 00:26:08,367 --> 00:26:10,033 I've been working for D.H. all summer long. 543 00:26:10,067 --> 00:26:11,633 That's why I'm here every weekend. 544 00:26:11,667 --> 00:26:12,900 Yes, my wife is the, um, 545 00:26:12,933 --> 00:26:15,400 philanthropist of the, of the family. 546 00:26:15,433 --> 00:26:17,433 Especially fond of dance, aren't you, dear? 547 00:26:17,467 --> 00:26:19,633 D.H., um, look. Pull around. 548 00:26:20,300 --> 00:26:21,367 Here we go. 549 00:26:21,400 --> 00:26:23,200 We have guests behind us. 550 00:26:23,233 --> 00:26:25,267 Oh, yes. Yes. The guests. I see. 551 00:26:25,300 --> 00:26:26,133 I see. 552 00:26:27,467 --> 00:26:30,733 So, are you two in school or something? 553 00:26:30,767 --> 00:26:32,033 I'm at Columbia, 554 00:26:32,067 --> 00:26:34,133 and as far as this year's challenge for Igby, 555 00:26:34,167 --> 00:26:35,600 we're still waiting to hear back 556 00:26:35,633 --> 00:26:37,933 from this really fun parochial school in D.C. 557 00:26:37,967 --> 00:26:39,200 "Perchance to dream." 558 00:26:39,233 --> 00:26:41,267 He's already done the protestant circuit. 559 00:26:41,300 --> 00:26:43,100 Mom must have some compromising photos 560 00:26:43,133 --> 00:26:44,700 of the head priest with an altar boy 561 00:26:44,733 --> 00:26:46,567 for them to even be considering Igby. 562 00:26:46,600 --> 00:26:48,700 We're all at a bit of a loss as to... 563 00:26:48,733 --> 00:26:51,133 Whenever I'm at a loss, I, uh, dip into Rilke. 564 00:26:53,500 --> 00:26:56,800 Rilke? Oh, that tortures me. 565 00:26:56,833 --> 00:26:58,433 Every Christmas, some asshole 566 00:26:58,467 --> 00:27:00,500 gives me this copy of Young Poet 567 00:27:00,533 --> 00:27:02,700 with this patronizing note on the inside flap 568 00:27:02,733 --> 00:27:04,833 about how it's supposed to change my life. 569 00:27:04,867 --> 00:27:07,000 Maybe you should read it before you judge it. 570 00:27:07,033 --> 00:27:08,533 I'm pretty confident. 571 00:27:08,567 --> 00:27:10,800 After all, one of the copies was from you. 572 00:27:10,833 --> 00:27:14,000 I'm Oliver, and this is my little brother, Igby. 573 00:27:14,033 --> 00:27:15,800 What kind of a name is "Igby"? 574 00:27:15,833 --> 00:27:17,767 It's the kind of a name that someone 575 00:27:17,800 --> 00:27:19,933 named Sookie is in no position to question. 576 00:27:19,967 --> 00:27:20,933 Sookie? 577 00:27:20,967 --> 00:27:22,333 Sookie, where do you go to school? 578 00:27:22,367 --> 00:27:23,700 Bennington. 579 00:27:23,733 --> 00:27:25,733 Ollie's majoring in neo-fascism at Columbia. 580 00:27:25,767 --> 00:27:27,767 Economics. Semantics. 581 00:27:27,800 --> 00:27:29,067 What's your major? Attitude. 582 00:27:30,767 --> 00:27:32,167 I've gotta get back to the bar. 583 00:27:32,200 --> 00:27:34,333 That's where I'm headed. 584 00:27:34,367 --> 00:27:35,900 Catch you kids later. 585 00:27:40,833 --> 00:27:42,433 D.H. brings you up a lot. 586 00:27:42,467 --> 00:27:43,600 Captain charisma is my godfather. 587 00:27:43,633 --> 00:27:44,867 I know. 588 00:27:44,900 --> 00:27:47,267 So, if something horrible, God forbid, 589 00:27:47,300 --> 00:27:48,933 were to befall my mother, 590 00:27:48,967 --> 00:27:50,700 I would come and live with him and Bunny. 591 00:27:50,733 --> 00:27:52,067 I know what godparents are. 592 00:27:52,100 --> 00:27:53,867 You're ripping apart my potential home. 593 00:27:53,900 --> 00:27:55,433 My being here offends you? 594 00:27:55,467 --> 00:27:57,200 No, your being here is great. 595 00:27:58,400 --> 00:27:59,767 I had no choice. 596 00:27:59,800 --> 00:28:01,667 No, I think you're great. I really do. 597 00:28:01,700 --> 00:28:02,800 Thank you. 598 00:28:02,833 --> 00:28:05,600 It's him bringing you here that tortures me. 599 00:28:05,633 --> 00:28:07,133 I love the fact that the captain 600 00:28:07,167 --> 00:28:09,533 of the morality team invites his chick 601 00:28:09,567 --> 00:28:11,300 to the same party as his wife, 602 00:28:11,333 --> 00:28:14,167 who, let's face it, isn't the sharpest tool in the shed anymore. 603 00:28:14,200 --> 00:28:15,200 And what's more, 604 00:28:15,233 --> 00:28:17,200 none of their supposed mutual friends 605 00:28:17,233 --> 00:28:18,700 protects her. 606 00:28:18,733 --> 00:28:20,267 None of them bats a fucking eyelash 607 00:28:20,300 --> 00:28:21,467 at his hypocrisy. 608 00:28:21,500 --> 00:28:23,167 And I love that, I really do. 609 00:28:23,200 --> 00:28:25,100 Embrace your moral hypocrisy, D.H. 610 00:28:25,133 --> 00:28:26,467 Go for it. 611 00:28:30,700 --> 00:28:32,167 But me you're okay with. 612 00:28:32,200 --> 00:28:33,567 Honestly. 613 00:28:33,600 --> 00:28:35,333 RACHEL: Listen, you know what? 614 00:28:35,367 --> 00:28:37,467 If you're, um, ever in the city, 615 00:28:37,500 --> 00:28:39,300 you should pop by the loft. 616 00:28:39,333 --> 00:28:40,900 We're done working on it. 617 00:28:43,267 --> 00:28:44,500 I know. 618 00:29:05,367 --> 00:29:07,767 (BOYS BETTER PLAYING) 619 00:29:09,467 --> 00:29:10,800 OLLIE: No worries, Mother. 620 00:29:10,833 --> 00:29:12,967 Igby is on his way to the airport. 621 00:29:13,000 --> 00:29:14,567 The driver's been briefed 622 00:29:14,600 --> 00:29:16,300 to take him directly to LaGuardia. 623 00:29:16,333 --> 00:29:19,833 He'll be in St . Anthony's loving custody by this afternoon. 624 00:29:19,867 --> 00:29:22,533 Oh, and happy birthday, Mother. 625 00:29:23,300 --> 00:29:24,533 Much love. 626 00:29:25,167 --> 00:29:26,800 IGBY: Sir? 627 00:29:26,833 --> 00:29:29,500 It's my mother's birthday today, and I forgot. 628 00:29:30,667 --> 00:29:32,833 Is there any way that, uh, 629 00:29:32,867 --> 00:29:34,400 we could just, uh, 630 00:29:34,433 --> 00:29:37,367 make a quick stop in the city somewhere, so 631 00:29:37,400 --> 00:29:38,700 I can get her something? 632 00:29:39,567 --> 00:29:40,667 She'd be so surprised. 633 00:29:41,833 --> 00:29:45,833 * Boys had better beware 634 00:29:45,867 --> 00:29:49,600 * You can seem to color your hair 635 00:29:49,633 --> 00:29:54,067 * But on a wig you already spent 636 00:29:54,100 --> 00:29:57,667 * All the dough to cover your rent 637 00:29:57,700 --> 00:30:01,300 * And it's a cool pad, if you care 638 00:30:01,333 --> 00:30:02,767 * For all the other boys 639 00:30:05,400 --> 00:30:06,667 Can I help you? 640 00:30:07,367 --> 00:30:08,533 Hey. 641 00:30:08,567 --> 00:30:09,833 You remember me? 642 00:30:09,867 --> 00:30:12,167 From the Hamptons John Birch Cotillion. 643 00:30:13,967 --> 00:30:16,067 Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey, how you doin'? 644 00:30:17,100 --> 00:30:18,767 Come on in. 645 00:30:18,800 --> 00:30:21,000 So, you said you'd come by and you did. 646 00:30:21,033 --> 00:30:22,433 A month later. 647 00:30:22,467 --> 00:30:24,433 Really love what you've done with the space. 648 00:30:24,467 --> 00:30:27,367 I really love what the space has done to her. 649 00:30:27,400 --> 00:30:28,567 Um... Igby. 650 00:30:28,600 --> 00:30:30,233 Igby, this is my friend, Russel. 651 00:30:30,267 --> 00:30:32,067 Hi. Hi. 652 00:30:32,100 --> 00:30:33,833 Igby is D.H.'s, um... 653 00:30:33,867 --> 00:30:35,200 Godson. 654 00:30:35,233 --> 00:30:36,733 Russel's just... 655 00:30:36,767 --> 00:30:37,700 What? 656 00:30:40,167 --> 00:30:43,067 Well, he's just a brilliant artist. 657 00:30:43,100 --> 00:30:45,533 So, um, what are you doing here? 658 00:30:45,567 --> 00:30:46,600 Celebrating. 659 00:30:47,600 --> 00:30:48,833 St. Anthony's accepted me. 660 00:30:50,100 --> 00:30:51,500 Congratulations? 661 00:30:52,367 --> 00:30:54,267 So, I'm on the lam. 662 00:30:54,300 --> 00:30:55,767 You want to stay here? 663 00:30:55,800 --> 00:30:57,133 If there's enough room. 664 00:30:57,167 --> 00:30:59,767 No, no, no. You can't stay here. 665 00:30:59,800 --> 00:31:03,133 I don't even live here. I rent this space to work in. I work here. 666 00:31:03,167 --> 00:31:05,633 I pay rent. D.H. doesn't even know you're here? 667 00:31:05,667 --> 00:31:07,333 It's kind of awkward. 668 00:31:07,367 --> 00:31:08,800 Great. 669 00:31:08,833 --> 00:31:10,667 Well, I don't know what you're gonna do, 670 00:31:10,700 --> 00:31:12,533 because there isn't an extra key 671 00:31:12,567 --> 00:31:14,700 and only D.H. can get them made, so... 672 00:31:14,733 --> 00:31:15,633 (CLEARS THROAT) 673 00:31:20,900 --> 00:31:22,767 There's an extra key on the windowsill 674 00:31:22,800 --> 00:31:25,067 in the hallway, the landing outside the door. 675 00:31:25,100 --> 00:31:27,467 But it has to be here when D.H. needs it. 676 00:31:27,500 --> 00:31:28,467 Why would D.H. need it? 677 00:31:28,500 --> 00:31:30,200 Fuck you! 678 00:31:30,233 --> 00:31:32,400 You can stay here for a couple days and that's it. 679 00:31:34,533 --> 00:31:37,333 Contrary to popular belief, D.H. is my landlord. 680 00:31:37,367 --> 00:31:39,167 I'm an established artist. I work here. 681 00:31:39,200 --> 00:31:40,733 My projects are supported. 682 00:31:40,767 --> 00:31:42,800 I can't afford to fuck up my relationship 683 00:31:42,833 --> 00:31:44,767 with my landlord. Do you understand? 684 00:31:44,800 --> 00:31:46,667 So, let yourself in and out 685 00:31:46,700 --> 00:31:48,867 using that key, but every time he reaches for it 686 00:31:48,900 --> 00:31:50,733 it's there and waiting for him. Sure. 687 00:31:50,767 --> 00:31:52,100 I don't wanna know you're here 688 00:31:52,133 --> 00:31:54,100 or see any traces of you in here. 689 00:31:54,133 --> 00:31:55,133 Gotcha. 690 00:31:55,167 --> 00:31:56,433 For a couple of days. 691 00:31:58,800 --> 00:32:00,800 I'm just gonna run to the bathroom. 692 00:32:04,800 --> 00:32:05,867 So, you're an artist? 693 00:32:09,500 --> 00:32:10,933 What kind of art? 694 00:32:10,967 --> 00:32:13,367 What do you mean, "What kind of art"? 695 00:32:13,400 --> 00:32:15,133 I mean do you paint, or what? 696 00:32:15,167 --> 00:32:16,567 I got what you meant, 697 00:32:16,600 --> 00:32:18,733 but you obviously didn't get what I meant. 698 00:32:18,767 --> 00:32:20,267 An artist creates art, 699 00:32:20,300 --> 00:32:23,233 regardless of what form the canvas takes. 700 00:32:23,267 --> 00:32:24,833 So, what do you do? Paint? 701 00:32:24,867 --> 00:32:26,500 I'm a performance artist. 702 00:32:26,533 --> 00:32:28,133 Oh. So, you don't paint. 703 00:32:32,067 --> 00:32:34,100 Rachel thinks that D.H. is going to 704 00:32:34,133 --> 00:32:36,600 leave his wifey and set up house with her. 705 00:32:36,633 --> 00:32:37,967 RACHEL: Shut the fuck up, Russel! 706 00:32:38,000 --> 00:32:40,700 What do you think the chances of that are? 707 00:32:40,733 --> 00:32:42,967 Moneybuckets, take me away! 708 00:32:43,000 --> 00:32:44,133 (GLASS BREAKS) 709 00:32:44,167 --> 00:32:45,333 RACHEL: Shit! 710 00:32:45,367 --> 00:32:47,500 RUSSEL: Could you persuade your godfather 711 00:32:47,533 --> 00:32:49,533 into letting me use one of his buildings 712 00:32:49,567 --> 00:32:50,933 for one of my pieces? 713 00:32:50,967 --> 00:32:52,500 IGBY: What would you want to do with it? 714 00:32:52,533 --> 00:32:53,633 I don't know. 715 00:32:53,667 --> 00:32:55,533 Russel is just, like... 716 00:32:57,567 --> 00:32:59,033 Very, very brilliant. 717 00:33:03,900 --> 00:33:05,467 RUSSEL: How old are you, Igby? 718 00:33:05,500 --> 00:33:06,867 I'm 18. 719 00:33:08,467 --> 00:33:09,933 I'm very close to being 18. 720 00:33:11,033 --> 00:33:11,900 Aw. 721 00:33:14,733 --> 00:33:16,800 BUNNY: Still no news on Igby? 722 00:33:16,833 --> 00:33:18,300 No. 723 00:33:18,333 --> 00:33:19,767 He will turn up. 724 00:33:19,800 --> 00:33:21,333 BUNNY: D.H. is... 725 00:33:21,367 --> 00:33:23,633 Spending more time in New York these days 726 00:33:23,667 --> 00:33:25,533 than here in Georgetown, so, 727 00:33:25,567 --> 00:33:27,300 he is bound to find him. 728 00:33:27,333 --> 00:33:28,900 BUNNY: You know, listen, Mimi, 729 00:33:28,933 --> 00:33:30,600 I just want you to know that if you should 730 00:33:30,633 --> 00:33:33,200 take a very bad turn, 731 00:33:33,233 --> 00:33:34,200 um... 732 00:33:34,233 --> 00:33:35,767 Death, for instance, 733 00:33:35,800 --> 00:33:38,200 not to worry about the boys. 734 00:33:38,233 --> 00:33:40,633 D.H. was so excited 735 00:33:40,667 --> 00:33:41,833 about having them this summer 736 00:33:41,867 --> 00:33:43,633 and, you know, 737 00:33:43,667 --> 00:33:45,300 if we could be surrogates 738 00:33:45,333 --> 00:33:47,300 and help the boys in any way, 739 00:33:47,333 --> 00:33:49,967 you know that would make us very, very, very happy. 740 00:33:50,000 --> 00:33:52,200 I just want you to know that. 741 00:33:52,233 --> 00:33:54,300 Not to mention the fact that he's... 742 00:33:54,333 --> 00:33:56,100 Over the years, he's invested 743 00:33:56,133 --> 00:33:58,333 an awful lot, uh, emotionally 744 00:33:58,367 --> 00:34:00,967 and, well, financially into the boys. 745 00:34:01,900 --> 00:34:04,100 Igby's tuition and such. 746 00:34:04,133 --> 00:34:05,367 I mean, where else would you turn? 747 00:34:06,200 --> 00:34:07,433 Jason? 748 00:34:08,533 --> 00:34:09,733 Handsome. 749 00:34:09,767 --> 00:34:11,467 Handsome, sad Jason... 750 00:34:11,500 --> 00:34:13,000 Shut up. 751 00:34:13,033 --> 00:34:16,333 Who so depleted your finances and your options. 752 00:34:16,367 --> 00:34:19,100 Mimi, I mean, the sacrifices you've made to the boys, 753 00:34:19,133 --> 00:34:21,833 I--I'm just, well, how... 754 00:34:21,867 --> 00:34:23,000 How did you do it? 755 00:34:23,033 --> 00:34:24,033 Stirrups and a turkey baster. 756 00:34:25,467 --> 00:34:26,900 (PANTING) 757 00:34:35,667 --> 00:34:37,233 Bunny? 758 00:34:37,267 --> 00:34:38,033 Yeah? Yes? 759 00:34:40,033 --> 00:34:41,967 You are a feeble woman. 760 00:34:45,267 --> 00:34:46,500 (PANTING) 761 00:34:47,500 --> 00:34:48,467 (MOANS) 762 00:34:51,700 --> 00:34:52,600 (MOANS) 763 00:34:55,567 --> 00:34:57,633 Did I hear, uh, Mimi? 764 00:34:58,667 --> 00:35:00,200 She's just freshening up. 765 00:35:00,233 --> 00:35:02,433 (SLAMMING) She's freshening up? 766 00:35:02,467 --> 00:35:03,367 Mimi? 767 00:35:04,667 --> 00:35:06,267 BUNNY: Did she leave, D.H.? 768 00:35:06,300 --> 00:35:08,900 Without saying goodbye? 769 00:35:08,933 --> 00:35:10,900 Yes, she did leave a note. 770 00:35:10,933 --> 00:35:12,800 BUNNY: Well, of course she did. 771 00:35:12,833 --> 00:35:14,000 Sweet Mimi! 772 00:35:18,267 --> 00:35:20,533 Can't you hit D.H. up for some bucks? 773 00:35:22,233 --> 00:35:24,600 I'd ask him myself, but I'm not having sex with him. 774 00:35:24,633 --> 00:35:26,400 Fuck you. Get a job. 775 00:35:26,433 --> 00:35:28,033 Please! 776 00:35:28,067 --> 00:35:30,100 Things have become fragile with D.H. 777 00:35:31,967 --> 00:35:33,100 What things? 778 00:35:33,967 --> 00:35:34,833 Me. 779 00:35:35,433 --> 00:35:36,167 Russel! 780 00:35:37,267 --> 00:35:38,067 Russel! 781 00:35:39,533 --> 00:35:40,833 You're not even paying rent. 782 00:35:40,867 --> 00:35:42,567 All you really need is pocket cash. 783 00:35:42,600 --> 00:35:44,200 I have needs. 784 00:35:44,233 --> 00:35:46,733 Russel's always looking for assistants for his projects. 785 00:35:46,767 --> 00:35:49,467 I'm sure he'd throw you work as a favor to me. He loves me. 786 00:35:49,500 --> 00:35:51,867 Russel, where the fuck are you? 787 00:35:51,900 --> 00:35:53,067 IGBY: On one of his artworks? 788 00:35:54,633 --> 00:35:55,800 Ow, shit! 789 00:35:55,833 --> 00:35:57,000 Catch! 790 00:36:14,167 --> 00:36:15,900 Hey. Hey, I know you. 791 00:36:15,933 --> 00:36:17,833 You're that boy from the Hamptons party. 792 00:36:19,933 --> 00:36:21,233 Iggy? 793 00:36:21,267 --> 00:36:22,700 I met you at that party. 794 00:36:22,733 --> 00:36:24,733 At your uncle's party. 795 00:36:24,767 --> 00:36:27,133 Igby. He's my godfather. Leave me alone. 796 00:36:28,500 --> 00:36:29,433 Igby. 797 00:36:29,467 --> 00:36:30,833 Mmm, what? 798 00:36:30,867 --> 00:36:32,067 Dime bag. 799 00:36:36,100 --> 00:36:37,833 Well, that got your attention. 800 00:36:37,867 --> 00:36:39,600 Pavlov's pothead. 801 00:36:39,633 --> 00:36:41,067 I hear the sound of a bong clink 802 00:36:41,100 --> 00:36:42,633 and my eyes begin to water. 803 00:36:42,667 --> 00:36:43,933 That's funny. 804 00:36:45,167 --> 00:36:46,467 Yeah? Thanks. 805 00:36:47,367 --> 00:36:48,633 The park? 806 00:36:48,667 --> 00:36:49,600 Yeah. 807 00:36:52,133 --> 00:36:53,967 You can't guard me, Mindy! You can't guard me! 808 00:36:54,000 --> 00:36:55,167 Oh, yeah? 809 00:36:55,200 --> 00:36:57,700 C'mon, where'd it go? Where'd it go? 810 00:36:57,733 --> 00:36:59,533 Oh, shit! You bitch! 811 00:36:59,567 --> 00:37:01,367 My ball, cuntface! 812 00:37:01,400 --> 00:37:02,900 (GIRLS GRUNTING) 813 00:37:07,267 --> 00:37:08,833 Are you a vegetarian? 814 00:37:08,867 --> 00:37:10,500 Why would you ask that? 815 00:37:10,533 --> 00:37:13,833 I've just never seen anybody roll a joint like that. 816 00:37:13,867 --> 00:37:16,167 What does that have to do with being a vegetarian? 817 00:37:16,200 --> 00:37:18,067 Oh, they're just so precious. 818 00:37:19,300 --> 00:37:21,100 I roll perfect joints. 819 00:37:21,133 --> 00:37:23,000 I'm not putting them down. They're incredible. 820 00:37:23,033 --> 00:37:24,300 Thank you. 821 00:37:24,333 --> 00:37:26,200 It's incredible that a human being 822 00:37:26,233 --> 00:37:28,400 could make such neat little joints. 823 00:37:28,433 --> 00:37:30,400 You make it sound as if I'm anal or something 824 00:37:30,433 --> 00:37:32,700 just because I know how to roll a perfect joint. 825 00:37:32,733 --> 00:37:34,000 No, not anal. 826 00:37:35,100 --> 00:37:36,100 Vegetarian. 827 00:37:36,133 --> 00:37:37,800 What does that mean? 828 00:37:37,833 --> 00:37:39,300 Well, you don't roll, like, 829 00:37:39,333 --> 00:37:41,800 big rasta spliff joints, do you? 830 00:37:41,833 --> 00:37:45,533 Your joints are like salad joints, not like a big 831 00:37:45,567 --> 00:37:47,200 sloppy, bleeding- cheeseburger- 832 00:37:47,233 --> 00:37:50,533 that-you-rip-into- kind-of-a-joint joint. 833 00:37:50,567 --> 00:37:55,133 I guess marijuana isn't a visceral experience for me. 834 00:37:55,967 --> 00:37:57,500 Sex is for me. 835 00:37:57,533 --> 00:37:58,500 Right. 836 00:38:03,133 --> 00:38:05,033 Okay, so I am a vegetarian. 837 00:38:05,067 --> 00:38:07,233 But for purely moral reasons. 838 00:38:07,267 --> 00:38:08,800 Uh-huh. 839 00:38:08,833 --> 00:38:11,300 I thought you went to school at Brandeis or someplace. 840 00:38:11,333 --> 00:38:12,867 Bennington. I do. 841 00:38:12,900 --> 00:38:14,467 Why aren't you there? 842 00:38:14,500 --> 00:38:16,633 I took a semester off. 843 00:38:16,667 --> 00:38:18,567 I needed time to recuperate. 844 00:38:18,600 --> 00:38:19,700 From what? 845 00:38:22,100 --> 00:38:25,267 Entenmann's cookies, beer, diet pills, tension, 846 00:38:26,533 --> 00:38:28,267 life. 847 00:38:28,300 --> 00:38:30,200 My dad's been recuperating for six years. 848 00:38:31,433 --> 00:38:32,867 What do you mean? 849 00:38:33,833 --> 00:38:35,433 From life. Nothing. 850 00:38:38,433 --> 00:38:39,567 Let's go. 851 00:38:39,600 --> 00:38:40,400 Yeah. 852 00:38:42,733 --> 00:38:44,300 You've come a long way, baby. 853 00:38:47,800 --> 00:38:49,200 You're funny. 854 00:38:56,733 --> 00:38:58,233 (GIRLS YELLING) 855 00:39:05,200 --> 00:39:06,667 Hello, I'm, uh, 856 00:39:06,700 --> 00:39:08,667 Lieutenant Ernest Smith from Pershing Academy. 857 00:39:08,700 --> 00:39:09,967 I'm here to ask about a... 858 00:39:10,000 --> 00:39:12,000 Those are fabulous. 859 00:39:12,033 --> 00:39:13,433 Where did you get them? 860 00:39:13,467 --> 00:39:14,500 The Army. 861 00:39:14,533 --> 00:39:16,233 See, I'm regular army. 862 00:39:16,267 --> 00:39:18,000 And, uh, Mrs. Slocumb found out 863 00:39:18,033 --> 00:39:19,567 I was stationed in New Jersey now, 864 00:39:19,600 --> 00:39:21,500 so she just thought that maybe Igby, 865 00:39:21,533 --> 00:39:23,500 since he worked here this summer, uh... 866 00:39:24,600 --> 00:39:25,800 Can I have these? 867 00:39:26,400 --> 00:39:27,667 (LAUGHING) 868 00:39:28,733 --> 00:39:29,900 Uh, no. No. 869 00:39:31,700 --> 00:39:34,600 I'm asking about Igby Slocumb! 870 00:39:35,333 --> 00:39:36,167 (LOCK CLICKS) 871 00:39:37,400 --> 00:39:39,233 Anne Frank, Anne Frank. 872 00:39:39,267 --> 00:39:41,300 The soldiers are gone. Come out and play. 873 00:39:51,000 --> 00:39:54,000 Yum, with three "m"s. 874 00:39:54,033 --> 00:39:55,133 Mmm. 875 00:39:57,633 --> 00:40:00,533 You have a huge crush on me, don't you? 876 00:40:00,567 --> 00:40:01,433 Fuck off. 877 00:40:03,000 --> 00:40:05,433 How's your brother doing these days? 878 00:40:05,467 --> 00:40:07,433 I don't have a brother. I'm an only child. 879 00:40:07,467 --> 00:40:09,333 Oliver's your brother, I thought. 880 00:40:09,367 --> 00:40:10,767 He is, and yet... 881 00:40:10,800 --> 00:40:12,533 And yet what? 882 00:40:12,567 --> 00:40:14,767 Well, I was about to say that we were both raised only children, 883 00:40:14,800 --> 00:40:16,933 but that sounds like something you would say. 884 00:40:17,733 --> 00:40:19,567 What do you do? 885 00:40:19,600 --> 00:40:21,367 I'm preparing to leave. 886 00:40:21,400 --> 00:40:22,700 Where do you want to go? 887 00:40:23,400 --> 00:40:25,433 Far away. 888 00:40:25,467 --> 00:40:28,400 I was thinking about joining the Peace Corps. 889 00:40:28,433 --> 00:40:30,900 Go on my Razor's Edge experience. 890 00:40:30,933 --> 00:40:32,267 Discover the meaning of life. 891 00:40:33,100 --> 00:40:34,400 Whatever. 892 00:40:34,433 --> 00:40:36,267 You need at least three years of college 893 00:40:36,300 --> 00:40:38,167 to join the Peace Corps, don't you? 894 00:40:38,200 --> 00:40:39,500 You do? 895 00:40:39,533 --> 00:40:42,233 Yeah. I had a friend at school who joined. 896 00:40:42,267 --> 00:40:44,200 Well, that could be a slight snag. 897 00:40:44,233 --> 00:40:46,767 I haven't even gotten around to taking my G.E.D. yet. 898 00:40:46,800 --> 00:40:48,100 So take it. 899 00:40:48,133 --> 00:40:49,367 I gotta go to hackensack. 900 00:40:49,400 --> 00:40:51,267 So go! Stop procrastinating. 901 00:40:51,300 --> 00:40:53,200 It's almost Christmas. 902 00:40:53,233 --> 00:40:55,300 Not going to New Jersey isn't procrastinating. 903 00:40:55,333 --> 00:40:57,633 It's common sense. 904 00:40:57,667 --> 00:40:58,833 Do you want me to go with you? 905 00:40:58,867 --> 00:41:00,000 No. 906 00:41:00,033 --> 00:41:01,233 I will. 907 00:41:04,633 --> 00:41:06,233 All right, that'd be great. 908 00:41:06,267 --> 00:41:08,133 Why aren't you in school now? 909 00:41:08,167 --> 00:41:09,567 Sheer ingenuity. 910 00:41:10,933 --> 00:41:13,767 You're funny. 911 00:41:13,800 --> 00:41:17,300 Instead of saying that someone or something is funny, 912 00:41:17,333 --> 00:41:19,133 why don't you just laugh? 913 00:41:19,167 --> 00:41:20,367 (LAUGHING) 914 00:41:22,633 --> 00:41:23,767 Is that better? 915 00:41:23,800 --> 00:41:24,567 Much. 916 00:41:26,933 --> 00:41:29,167 Gosh, I've never been to a hideout before. 917 00:41:29,200 --> 00:41:30,267 Shut up. 918 00:41:49,800 --> 00:41:50,833 D.H.: Igby. 919 00:41:56,933 --> 00:41:58,333 Igby, my boy, 920 00:41:59,600 --> 00:42:00,733 you look a bit, uh, 921 00:42:01,900 --> 00:42:02,467 peaked. 922 00:42:03,467 --> 00:42:05,400 I don't feel peaked. 923 00:42:06,100 --> 00:42:07,400 (LAUGHING) 924 00:42:09,667 --> 00:42:10,933 Mmm-hmm. 925 00:42:10,967 --> 00:42:12,100 Mmm-hmm. 926 00:42:18,400 --> 00:42:19,800 Say, 927 00:42:19,833 --> 00:42:21,267 give your... 928 00:42:21,300 --> 00:42:23,433 Give your mother a call, Igby. 929 00:42:24,500 --> 00:42:26,633 Let her know you're alive, yes? 930 00:42:30,667 --> 00:42:31,767 (CHUCKLES) 931 00:42:35,433 --> 00:42:37,733 You need to eat some red meat, my boy. 932 00:42:39,267 --> 00:42:40,667 You're all pale. 933 00:42:44,300 --> 00:42:45,400 (LAUGHING) 934 00:42:54,967 --> 00:42:57,633 I didn't know he was here. The key was on the window. 935 00:42:57,667 --> 00:42:59,400 We had lunch. I let him in. 936 00:42:59,433 --> 00:43:01,133 How was I supposed to know that? 937 00:43:01,167 --> 00:43:02,433 It wasn't my fault. 938 00:43:02,467 --> 00:43:04,133 We had an agreement. You fucked up. 939 00:43:04,167 --> 00:43:05,933 It wasn't my fault. 940 00:43:05,967 --> 00:43:07,133 You fucking idiot! 941 00:43:08,233 --> 00:43:09,467 So... 942 00:43:10,800 --> 00:43:12,733 I guess you have to pay rent this month. 943 00:43:14,833 --> 00:43:16,067 (GRUNTING) 944 00:43:16,100 --> 00:43:17,133 (BOTH GRUNTING) 945 00:43:19,767 --> 00:43:21,133 Rachel, stop. 946 00:43:26,467 --> 00:43:27,367 (DOOR SLAMS) 947 00:43:44,400 --> 00:43:46,233 She's a... 948 00:43:46,267 --> 00:43:48,700 Dancer who doesn't dance, and... 949 00:43:48,733 --> 00:43:51,333 Her friend is a painter who doesn't paint. 950 00:43:51,367 --> 00:43:53,367 It's kind of a boho version 951 00:43:53,400 --> 00:43:55,467 of Island Of The Lost Toys. 952 00:43:55,500 --> 00:43:57,267 (WHISPERS) Jesus. 953 00:43:57,300 --> 00:43:59,633 And she's a lot stronger than she looks. 954 00:44:08,733 --> 00:44:09,533 Mmm. 955 00:44:16,733 --> 00:44:19,533 (EVERYBODY'S STALKING PLAYING) 956 00:44:28,833 --> 00:44:31,600 * Been feeling high 957 00:44:31,633 --> 00:44:33,933 * And then feeling low 958 00:44:34,900 --> 00:44:37,533 (SOOKIE LAUGHING) 959 00:44:37,567 --> 00:44:40,300 * I'm not broke so please don't mend me 960 00:44:40,333 --> 00:44:43,200 * You're like a neon sign 961 00:44:43,233 --> 00:44:46,400 * Just burn so bright 962 00:44:46,433 --> 00:44:49,100 * Penetrates like an infection 963 00:44:49,133 --> 00:44:51,533 * You give me feelings I can't mention 964 00:44:52,367 --> 00:44:53,433 Ow! 965 00:44:53,467 --> 00:44:54,867 I broke my butt! 966 00:44:55,667 --> 00:44:57,467 * You need to 967 00:44:58,333 --> 00:45:00,100 * Don't wait for me 968 00:45:01,467 --> 00:45:03,867 * I'll wait for you 969 00:45:05,533 --> 00:45:06,933 SOOKIE: You know what I think about 970 00:45:06,967 --> 00:45:08,267 when I'm this close to another body? 971 00:45:11,433 --> 00:45:12,600 I think 972 00:45:13,933 --> 00:45:14,900 one day, 973 00:45:16,067 --> 00:45:17,633 at one moment, 974 00:45:18,700 --> 00:45:21,200 this body that I'm holding in my arms 975 00:45:21,233 --> 00:45:22,700 will stop breathing, 976 00:45:24,100 --> 00:45:25,533 stop living, 977 00:45:26,067 --> 00:45:27,400 just 978 00:45:28,767 --> 00:45:29,633 stop. 979 00:45:32,600 --> 00:45:35,300 One day, you'll happen upon my name in the obits 980 00:45:35,333 --> 00:45:36,400 and you'll remember this moment 981 00:45:36,433 --> 00:45:38,033 when we were still close. 982 00:45:40,233 --> 00:45:42,900 You're a real fuckin' upper. 983 00:45:42,933 --> 00:45:45,367 How did you end up at military school? 984 00:45:45,900 --> 00:45:47,200 Mimi. 985 00:45:47,233 --> 00:45:48,633 Mimi? My mother. 986 00:45:49,500 --> 00:45:52,000 You call your mother "Mimi"? 987 00:45:52,033 --> 00:45:53,900 "Heinous one" is a bit cumbersome. 988 00:45:53,933 --> 00:45:55,400 Hmm, right. 989 00:45:55,433 --> 00:45:56,900 "Medea" was already taken. 990 00:45:59,800 --> 00:46:02,367 Your mother sent you to military school? 991 00:46:03,933 --> 00:46:06,600 In all fairness to her, I did get kicked out 992 00:46:06,633 --> 00:46:08,867 of most of the schools on the East Coast. 993 00:46:10,567 --> 00:46:12,900 Still, I just assumed that military school 994 00:46:12,933 --> 00:46:15,167 was an empty threat, like with most parents. 995 00:46:16,233 --> 00:46:18,500 She called that bluff. 996 00:46:18,533 --> 00:46:21,367 Do you resent her for sending you there? 997 00:46:21,400 --> 00:46:23,600 I'm glad I went. 998 00:46:23,633 --> 00:46:26,033 It made everything clear to me. 999 00:46:26,067 --> 00:46:27,100 Like what? 1000 00:46:28,600 --> 00:46:30,400 The fight. 1001 00:46:30,433 --> 00:46:31,467 MIMI: 15 minutes, Igby. 1002 00:46:31,500 --> 00:46:33,300 Okay. 1003 00:46:33,333 --> 00:46:35,833 That means downstairs, dressed, waiting for your father, in 15 minutes 1004 00:46:35,867 --> 00:46:37,133 or you're taking the bus. 1005 00:46:37,167 --> 00:46:37,867 I know. 1006 00:46:54,000 --> 00:46:54,767 Dad? 1007 00:46:56,200 --> 00:46:57,567 (GROANING) 1008 00:46:59,267 --> 00:47:01,400 (SHOWER RUNNING) 1009 00:47:24,733 --> 00:47:26,233 (JASON LAUGHS) 1010 00:47:36,000 --> 00:47:36,900 (SOBBING) 1011 00:47:38,500 --> 00:47:39,733 (SCREAMING) 1012 00:47:49,000 --> 00:47:51,333 (JASON SCREAMING UNINTELLIGIBLY) 1013 00:48:02,567 --> 00:48:03,800 (GLASS BREAKS) 1014 00:48:31,600 --> 00:48:32,800 You see... 1015 00:48:34,133 --> 00:48:34,833 Igby, 1016 00:48:36,333 --> 00:48:38,700 I feel this 1017 00:48:38,733 --> 00:48:40,200 great, 1018 00:48:40,233 --> 00:48:41,067 great 1019 00:48:42,567 --> 00:48:43,733 pressure 1020 00:48:45,600 --> 00:48:47,000 coming down on me. 1021 00:48:49,300 --> 00:48:50,767 It's just 1022 00:48:50,800 --> 00:48:52,800 constantly coming down on me, 1023 00:48:57,233 --> 00:48:58,367 crushing me. 1024 00:49:14,400 --> 00:49:16,233 SOOKIE: You make it sound sinister. 1025 00:49:16,267 --> 00:49:19,433 That's what good schools are for, to shape you, 1026 00:49:19,467 --> 00:49:23,033 not brainwash you in some evil, Orwellian way, 1027 00:49:23,067 --> 00:49:26,633 or squash you into something you're not, but... 1028 00:49:26,667 --> 00:49:29,533 I know my mother teaches metaphysical poetry at Vassar. 1029 00:49:29,567 --> 00:49:30,700 I really believe she tries... 1030 00:49:30,733 --> 00:49:32,633 My father went through the system 1031 00:49:32,667 --> 00:49:34,267 and it told him what he was supposed to want. 1032 00:49:35,333 --> 00:49:37,233 He achieved everything, and 1033 00:49:37,267 --> 00:49:39,000 then in his 40s, he flipped. 1034 00:49:39,033 --> 00:49:41,333 What did he really want? 1035 00:49:41,367 --> 00:49:42,600 (MAN YELLING) 1036 00:49:42,633 --> 00:49:44,867 Sunny days. 1037 00:49:44,900 --> 00:49:47,867 Now dad is in the Maryland home for the befuddled. 1038 00:49:49,233 --> 00:49:50,867 Cuckoo for cocoa puffs. 1039 00:49:52,533 --> 00:49:55,300 So, you're never going back to school? 1040 00:49:55,333 --> 00:49:57,600 What are you planning to do with your life, Igby? 1041 00:49:57,633 --> 00:49:58,900 Just kill time until... 1042 00:49:58,933 --> 00:50:00,900 My nervous breakdown comes along? 1043 00:50:06,533 --> 00:50:07,900 Is your father dead? 1044 00:50:08,433 --> 00:50:10,667 No, why? 1045 00:50:10,700 --> 00:50:12,500 Because when I talked about mine, 1046 00:50:12,533 --> 00:50:14,900 you didn't feel obligated to compare and contrast. 1047 00:50:16,000 --> 00:50:18,500 He's a theologian. 1048 00:50:18,533 --> 00:50:21,300 A Jewish theologian and a metaphysical poetess. 1049 00:50:22,433 --> 00:50:23,600 Doesn't explain you. 1050 00:50:23,633 --> 00:50:25,700 What would? 1051 00:50:25,733 --> 00:50:27,633 Cross-dressing psychoanalysts? 1052 00:50:27,667 --> 00:50:29,233 Heroin junkies? 1053 00:50:29,267 --> 00:50:30,300 I don't know. 1054 00:50:30,333 --> 00:50:30,967 Thanks. 1055 00:50:32,800 --> 00:50:34,067 My parents 1056 00:50:34,900 --> 00:50:36,433 were two 1057 00:50:36,467 --> 00:50:39,067 very idealistic, incredibly bright 1058 00:50:39,900 --> 00:50:40,900 narcissists. 1059 00:50:42,000 --> 00:50:43,700 I was like their vanity project. 1060 00:50:43,733 --> 00:50:44,933 Oh, my God. 1061 00:50:44,967 --> 00:50:46,033 What? 1062 00:50:46,067 --> 00:50:47,967 Ah, you torture me. 1063 00:50:48,000 --> 00:50:49,867 I was adopted, okay? 1064 00:50:49,900 --> 00:50:51,967 That would explain everything. 1065 00:50:52,000 --> 00:50:53,533 'Cause, I mean, 1066 00:50:53,567 --> 00:50:54,867 how many Vassar professors 1067 00:50:54,900 --> 00:50:57,033 and intellectual theologians 1068 00:50:57,067 --> 00:50:59,800 beget nymphomaniacal 1069 00:50:59,833 --> 00:51:02,100 pseudo-bohemian J.A.P.'s? 1070 00:51:02,133 --> 00:51:04,300 Actually, a lot, probably, right? 1071 00:51:07,700 --> 00:51:08,967 I'm not a J.A.P. 1072 00:51:22,400 --> 00:51:23,100 Oh, shit. 1073 00:51:26,133 --> 00:51:28,100 Good morning. I'm Oliver. We met at the... 1074 00:51:28,133 --> 00:51:29,167 Right. 1075 00:51:29,200 --> 00:51:32,367 At that party in the Hamptons. 1076 00:51:32,400 --> 00:51:34,167 You're the fascist brother. 1077 00:51:34,200 --> 00:51:35,800 He prefers "Young Republican." 1078 00:51:40,467 --> 00:51:42,667 I'm Sookie. 1079 00:51:42,700 --> 00:51:44,833 Excuse me. I've got to... 1080 00:51:44,867 --> 00:51:46,500 Oh, yeah. I'm sorry. 1081 00:51:51,800 --> 00:51:53,400 God, you're pathetic. 1082 00:51:53,433 --> 00:51:54,600 Thank you, fuckwit. 1083 00:51:56,033 --> 00:51:57,833 D.H. told you I was here? 1084 00:51:57,867 --> 00:51:59,167 Your little vacation's about to 1085 00:51:59,200 --> 00:52:01,000 come to a rather abrupt and severe end. 1086 00:52:02,900 --> 00:52:04,433 Come again? 1087 00:52:04,467 --> 00:52:05,567 You're still a minor. 1088 00:52:05,600 --> 00:52:07,267 So? 1089 00:52:07,300 --> 00:52:10,167 So, since you're not interested in taking care of your education, 1090 00:52:10,200 --> 00:52:12,100 measures are being taken on your behalf. 1091 00:52:12,133 --> 00:52:14,000 What measures? 1092 00:52:14,033 --> 00:52:16,233 Mom's coming up next weekend. 1093 00:52:16,267 --> 00:52:17,933 Great. Great. 1094 00:52:17,967 --> 00:52:20,033 I'm taking my high school equivalency test on Friday. 1095 00:52:20,067 --> 00:52:21,300 Whatever. 1096 00:52:21,333 --> 00:52:22,933 I can vouch for him, I made the test appointment. 1097 00:52:22,967 --> 00:52:24,067 Really? 1098 00:52:24,100 --> 00:52:25,533 Really. 1099 00:52:25,567 --> 00:52:28,567 Oh, my God! It's almost the afternoon. 1100 00:52:28,600 --> 00:52:30,067 Um, look, it was... 1101 00:52:31,533 --> 00:52:32,967 Nice meeting you. I'm gonna take off. 1102 00:52:33,000 --> 00:52:34,733 Where are you headed? 1103 00:52:34,767 --> 00:52:36,500 My mom's. The Upper East Side. 1104 00:52:36,533 --> 00:52:39,167 Yeah? Me, too. That's where I'm staying. 1105 00:52:39,200 --> 00:52:41,467 Amidst the cobwebs and geriatrics. 1106 00:52:41,500 --> 00:52:43,067 The geriatrics? 1107 00:52:43,100 --> 00:52:45,033 Everyone's inferior to Ollie in one way or another. 1108 00:52:45,067 --> 00:52:46,000 Just ask him, he'll tell you. 1109 00:52:46,033 --> 00:52:47,733 Let me give you a lift. 1110 00:52:47,767 --> 00:52:48,933 It's a write-off for D.H. 1111 00:52:48,967 --> 00:52:50,533 You can't pass up a free ride. 1112 00:52:51,433 --> 00:52:53,000 Um, Friday? 1113 00:52:53,600 --> 00:52:54,333 Friday. 1114 00:52:56,400 --> 00:52:57,533 See you. 1115 00:53:03,833 --> 00:53:06,233 OLLIE: No, no, it's not his real name. 1116 00:53:06,267 --> 00:53:08,800 He had a stuffed bear as a kid, Digby bear. 1117 00:53:08,833 --> 00:53:11,000 They were British, I think. 1118 00:53:11,033 --> 00:53:14,467 And because he always got everything wrong, he called it "Igby." 1119 00:53:14,500 --> 00:53:16,467 Whenever he committed a crime, he would say, 1120 00:53:16,500 --> 00:53:18,800 "I didn't do it, Igby did." 1121 00:53:18,833 --> 00:53:20,800 And to break him of this habit, 1122 00:53:20,833 --> 00:53:23,000 being as hip to child psych as she was, 1123 00:53:23,033 --> 00:53:24,467 Mimi started referring to him 1124 00:53:24,500 --> 00:53:26,433 as Igby every time he lied. 1125 00:53:26,467 --> 00:53:28,500 And, well, he lied a lot. 1126 00:53:31,300 --> 00:53:32,933 So, you, uh, 1127 00:53:32,967 --> 00:53:35,100 work for your godfather? 1128 00:53:35,133 --> 00:53:38,200 Igby's, D.H., who is amazing. 1129 00:53:38,233 --> 00:53:41,500 His mind functions only to make money. 1130 00:53:41,533 --> 00:53:44,233 He thinks he has everything he could possibly want, 1131 00:53:44,267 --> 00:53:46,400 so he walks around acting the way he thinks 1132 00:53:46,433 --> 00:53:48,067 a happy and content man should act. 1133 00:53:48,800 --> 00:53:50,033 He's a parody. 1134 00:53:50,067 --> 00:53:52,533 If he's such a parody, why do you work for him? 1135 00:53:52,567 --> 00:53:54,667 He's an obscenely rich parody. 1136 00:53:54,700 --> 00:53:57,133 And if he wants to make me in his image, hey. 1137 00:54:00,267 --> 00:54:02,700 What does your mother do? 1138 00:54:02,733 --> 00:54:06,467 She's a writer, though mostly she just teaches now. 1139 00:54:06,500 --> 00:54:07,833 Is she divorced? 1140 00:54:07,867 --> 00:54:09,200 Never married. 1141 00:54:09,233 --> 00:54:10,200 How come? 1142 00:54:10,233 --> 00:54:11,567 Doesn't like men. 1143 00:54:11,600 --> 00:54:12,733 Lesbian. 1144 00:54:12,767 --> 00:54:14,467 No. 1145 00:54:14,500 --> 00:54:16,967 Just a failed heterosexual. 1146 00:54:17,000 --> 00:54:18,233 (BOTH LAUGHING) 1147 00:54:20,100 --> 00:54:22,133 Listen, uh, thanks for the lift. 1148 00:54:23,600 --> 00:54:24,933 Shit! 1149 00:54:24,967 --> 00:54:27,433 What, did you lose your wallet? 1150 00:54:27,467 --> 00:54:28,933 I... 1151 00:54:28,967 --> 00:54:31,033 I don't have the keys to my aunt's apartment. 1152 00:54:31,067 --> 00:54:32,167 The doorman won't let you in? 1153 00:54:32,200 --> 00:54:34,867 He's totally senile. He never remembers me. 1154 00:54:34,900 --> 00:54:36,533 I'll just wait for her. 1155 00:54:37,067 --> 00:54:38,667 Wander around. 1156 00:54:38,700 --> 00:54:40,600 She'll be in this evening at some point. 1157 00:54:40,633 --> 00:54:42,000 Are you sure? 1158 00:54:42,033 --> 00:54:43,800 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. 1159 00:54:43,833 --> 00:54:45,067 Could I use your phone? 1160 00:54:45,100 --> 00:54:46,133 Sure. 1161 00:54:46,167 --> 00:54:47,767 I mean, um, I mean, God. 1162 00:54:47,800 --> 00:54:48,800 Can I get a receipt? 1163 00:54:52,067 --> 00:54:54,767 OLLIE: After the breakdown... 1164 00:54:54,800 --> 00:54:57,033 Mimi... 1165 00:54:57,067 --> 00:54:59,800 Had been afraid someone would find something embarrassing. 1166 00:55:01,333 --> 00:55:04,267 So up went her little soldier 1167 00:55:04,300 --> 00:55:06,800 while she waited downstairs. 1168 00:55:06,833 --> 00:55:08,600 This old lady led me to his desk. 1169 00:55:10,167 --> 00:55:11,867 And before she left me there, 1170 00:55:11,900 --> 00:55:14,933 made sure to give me a nice pat on the head. 1171 00:55:14,967 --> 00:55:16,933 I wanted to break her fucking hand. 1172 00:55:18,667 --> 00:55:20,600 So, I sat down in my father's chair 1173 00:55:20,633 --> 00:55:22,933 and I started looking in his desk. 1174 00:55:22,967 --> 00:55:25,167 Each drawer that I opened was the same. 1175 00:55:25,200 --> 00:55:27,633 No books, no pencils, 1176 00:55:27,667 --> 00:55:29,600 just row upon row 1177 00:55:29,633 --> 00:55:32,033 of meticulously stacked cigarettes. 1178 00:55:32,067 --> 00:55:33,133 Thousands of them. 1179 00:55:38,633 --> 00:55:40,433 And all I could think was, 1180 00:55:40,467 --> 00:55:43,300 not the extent to which my father's sickness had damaged him, 1181 00:55:43,900 --> 00:55:45,200 but rather, 1182 00:55:45,233 --> 00:55:47,567 "Gosh, 1183 00:55:47,600 --> 00:55:49,067 "how would somebody go about doing this 1184 00:55:49,100 --> 00:55:51,300 "without anyone in the office being the wiser?" 1185 00:55:51,333 --> 00:55:53,000 You know, not, 1186 00:55:53,033 --> 00:55:55,267 "My father's so far fucking gone, 1187 00:55:55,300 --> 00:55:56,300 "he ain't never comin' back," 1188 00:55:57,633 --> 00:55:58,567 but just, 1189 00:56:03,233 --> 00:56:04,700 "How the fuck 1190 00:56:04,733 --> 00:56:07,200 "did he get all of these cigarettes 1191 00:56:10,167 --> 00:56:11,467 "into this desk?" 1192 00:56:14,167 --> 00:56:15,500 You were numb. 1193 00:56:21,000 --> 00:56:22,200 Sookie, 1194 00:56:23,000 --> 00:56:24,167 I am numb. 1195 00:58:12,400 --> 00:58:14,567 Everything all right here, folks? You all right? 1196 00:58:14,600 --> 00:58:15,800 Great. 1197 00:58:15,833 --> 00:58:17,833 Oh! Excuse me! I'm sorry. 1198 00:58:56,367 --> 00:58:59,033 Do you want me to give this to you or should I hang on to it? 1199 00:58:59,067 --> 00:59:00,633 I want you to pin it to my lapel 1200 00:59:00,667 --> 00:59:02,200 with my mittens and nametag. 1201 00:59:02,233 --> 00:59:03,333 Snippy. Snippy. 1202 00:59:03,367 --> 00:59:05,133 No bus-ride treat for you. 1203 00:59:05,167 --> 00:59:06,900 Shut up! 1204 00:59:06,933 --> 00:59:09,700 You're being really immature about this. 1205 00:59:09,733 --> 00:59:11,800 If I'm immature, you're prenatal. 1206 00:59:11,833 --> 00:59:13,733 God, to be impressed by that preppy prick. 1207 00:59:13,767 --> 00:59:16,400 We hung out, Igby. We're closer in age. 1208 00:59:16,433 --> 00:59:19,033 He's your brother. You act like you hate him. 1209 00:59:19,067 --> 00:59:20,467 I do! 1210 00:59:20,500 --> 00:59:22,667 I do hate him. He's totally hateable. 1211 00:59:24,600 --> 00:59:26,567 Evil, niblet fuck. 1212 00:59:32,700 --> 00:59:34,233 MIMI: There's been a misunderstanding. 1213 00:59:34,267 --> 00:59:36,633 Next fall is not good. 1214 00:59:36,667 --> 00:59:39,300 No, no, I need my son enrolled this spring. 1215 00:59:39,833 --> 00:59:41,567 Mmm. 1216 00:59:41,600 --> 00:59:45,000 Well, have you spoken to his godfather, D.H. Banes? 1217 00:59:45,033 --> 00:59:48,133 Yes, Igby is his favorite charity. 1218 00:59:48,167 --> 00:59:50,700 He's sponsoring the boy, as in, financially. 1219 00:59:52,100 --> 00:59:53,600 Yes, well, 1220 00:59:53,633 --> 00:59:55,433 what do we have to do, then, 1221 00:59:55,467 --> 00:59:57,500 to make it happen this spring? 1222 00:59:58,767 --> 01:00:00,400 You do that. 1223 01:00:00,433 --> 01:00:01,833 Yes. Thank you very much. 1224 01:00:02,500 --> 01:00:03,800 Bye-bye. 1225 01:00:03,833 --> 01:00:05,333 (THUNDER RUMBLING) 1226 01:00:09,633 --> 01:00:11,467 I'm goin' to California. 1227 01:00:11,500 --> 01:00:12,700 I need a fuckin' sunny day. 1228 01:00:13,533 --> 01:00:14,700 Can I come? 1229 01:00:15,233 --> 01:00:17,200 I'm serious. 1230 01:00:17,233 --> 01:00:19,333 There's nothing keeping me here. 1231 01:00:19,367 --> 01:00:20,700 Except perhaps poverty. 1232 01:00:20,733 --> 01:00:22,100 Ah, can't let that stop you. 1233 01:00:22,133 --> 01:00:24,200 I can't. 1234 01:00:24,233 --> 01:00:26,867 I've always wanted to drive across the country. 1235 01:00:26,900 --> 01:00:28,133 Maybe this summer. 1236 01:00:28,167 --> 01:00:29,733 Fuck that. I'm flying. 1237 01:00:29,767 --> 01:00:31,300 I wanna come, asshole. 1238 01:00:31,333 --> 01:00:32,500 Good. 1239 01:00:33,967 --> 01:00:36,367 'Cause I'd be afraid to go by myself. 1240 01:00:54,767 --> 01:00:56,533 May I freshen your drink? 1241 01:00:56,567 --> 01:00:58,067 A little baby portion, please. 1242 01:01:00,933 --> 01:01:02,067 Bigger baby. 1243 01:01:07,233 --> 01:01:08,467 Thank you. 1244 01:01:14,000 --> 01:01:15,367 Oh, 1245 01:01:15,400 --> 01:01:17,033 I must say, Igby, 1246 01:01:17,067 --> 01:01:20,200 you have perfected the hobo look. 1247 01:01:20,233 --> 01:01:22,233 You didn't actually buy the suit, did you? 1248 01:01:22,267 --> 01:01:24,133 I mean, someone left it someplace for you, did they? 1249 01:01:24,167 --> 01:01:25,367 Dad. 1250 01:01:25,400 --> 01:01:26,733 How apropos. 1251 01:01:30,767 --> 01:01:32,367 I want my money. 1252 01:01:32,400 --> 01:01:33,633 My money from dad. 1253 01:01:33,667 --> 01:01:35,233 I'll get it in two years, anyway. 1254 01:01:35,267 --> 01:01:37,767 Oh, so you can extend your vacation? 1255 01:01:37,800 --> 01:01:38,967 I need it. 1256 01:01:39,000 --> 01:01:40,933 You freed it up early for Ollie. 1257 01:01:40,967 --> 01:01:42,367 (LAUGHS) 1258 01:01:42,400 --> 01:01:43,900 Ollie graduated from high school. 1259 01:01:43,933 --> 01:01:45,800 He graduated at the top of his class. 1260 01:01:45,833 --> 01:01:48,933 He earned it. I'm not gonna subsidize your being a bum. 1261 01:01:48,967 --> 01:01:50,767 It's a moot point, anyhow. What do you mean? 1262 01:01:50,800 --> 01:01:53,200 You're assuming that Jason provided for you 1263 01:01:53,233 --> 01:01:55,067 in the same manner he provided for Ollie. 1264 01:01:55,100 --> 01:01:56,167 Yes. 1265 01:01:56,200 --> 01:01:57,333 He didn't. 1266 01:01:58,167 --> 01:01:59,367 You're lying. 1267 01:02:00,733 --> 01:02:02,367 Darling, 1268 01:02:02,400 --> 01:02:04,633 why would I lie when I can just say "no"? 1269 01:02:08,467 --> 01:02:11,933 I've, uh, had a conversation with Mr. McKaye, 1270 01:02:11,967 --> 01:02:13,900 he's the headmaster of St. Anthony's, 1271 01:02:13,933 --> 01:02:16,367 and in spite of your little disappearing act this fall 1272 01:02:17,400 --> 01:02:19,000 he has agreed 1273 01:02:19,033 --> 01:02:21,700 to admit you after Christmas. 1274 01:02:21,733 --> 01:02:22,700 You'll be boarding there... 1275 01:02:22,733 --> 01:02:23,967 I'm not going back. 1276 01:02:24,000 --> 01:02:25,700 I passed the equivalency test. 1277 01:02:25,733 --> 01:02:27,033 I don't have to go back. 1278 01:02:27,067 --> 01:02:28,800 Of course, I don't trust you 1279 01:02:28,833 --> 01:02:32,467 with the train fare, so if you just look up Ollie, 1280 01:02:32,500 --> 01:02:35,333 tell him that I will reimburse him if he buys you your ticket. 1281 01:02:35,367 --> 01:02:36,467 I don't have his number. 1282 01:02:36,500 --> 01:02:38,000 D.H. does. 1283 01:02:38,033 --> 01:02:39,500 Oh. 1284 01:02:39,533 --> 01:02:41,800 If it had just occurred to me to mention it to Ollie. 1285 01:02:41,833 --> 01:02:43,500 I saw him this afternoon, 1286 01:02:43,533 --> 01:02:45,033 for lunch, with his girlfriend. 1287 01:02:45,067 --> 01:02:47,500 In fact, you just missed him, darling, by about... 1288 01:02:47,533 --> 01:02:48,833 An hour and a half. 1289 01:02:50,333 --> 01:02:51,800 His Connecticut one? 1290 01:02:51,833 --> 01:02:54,500 Mmm-mmm. Though I rather liked her. 1291 01:02:54,533 --> 01:02:55,967 No, this is a new one, 1292 01:02:56,000 --> 01:02:57,833 a rather attractive New York girl, 1293 01:02:58,933 --> 01:03:00,167 a Jewish girl. 1294 01:03:06,600 --> 01:03:08,200 (TELEPHONE RINGING) 1295 01:03:10,633 --> 01:03:13,033 RACHEL: Hi, you've reached my studio. If you're interested in renting, 1296 01:03:13,067 --> 01:03:15,100 leave your information after the beep. 1297 01:03:15,133 --> 01:03:16,600 Otherwise, you know what to do. 1298 01:03:16,633 --> 01:03:18,200 (BEEPS) 1299 01:03:18,233 --> 01:03:20,667 RUSSEL: Honey? I hope I caught you. 1300 01:03:20,700 --> 01:03:22,267 Guess where I am. 1301 01:03:22,300 --> 01:03:23,900 St. Vincent's hospital. 1302 01:03:24,800 --> 01:03:26,433 We're having a party. 1303 01:03:26,467 --> 01:03:29,167 Everybody is here, just fucking everybody. 1304 01:03:30,033 --> 01:03:32,233 It's a party. 1305 01:03:32,267 --> 01:03:35,233 A bad batch mama sold you. A bad batch. 1306 01:03:35,267 --> 01:03:38,233 But I--I caught you in time, right? 1307 01:03:38,267 --> 01:03:40,267 You're not coming to this party, right? 1308 01:03:41,700 --> 01:03:43,033 (DIAL TONE) 1309 01:03:44,367 --> 01:03:45,367 (BEEPING) 1310 01:03:45,400 --> 01:03:46,667 Hello, Bunny? It's Igby. 1311 01:03:47,633 --> 01:03:49,233 Yes. Yes. I'm in New York. 1312 01:03:49,267 --> 01:03:51,167 Listen, is D.H. there? 1313 01:03:51,667 --> 01:03:53,033 Thank you. 1314 01:03:53,067 --> 01:03:57,033 She was by my place, literally, seconds ago. 1315 01:03:57,067 --> 01:04:00,400 She must've used in the cab on the way home. 1316 01:04:00,433 --> 01:04:04,033 My god, what's that about, right? 1317 01:04:04,067 --> 01:04:06,600 A little patience, girl, huh? 1318 01:04:07,367 --> 01:04:08,433 Oh, hi. 1319 01:04:08,467 --> 01:04:10,833 The doctor said that she's gonna be fine. 1320 01:04:10,867 --> 01:04:13,433 Um, out tomorrow maybe. 1321 01:04:13,467 --> 01:04:16,267 Everything's taken care of. Nothing more to do here. 1322 01:04:16,300 --> 01:04:19,600 I'm, uh, Rachel's friend, Russel. 1323 01:04:21,867 --> 01:04:22,667 Hi. 1324 01:04:24,133 --> 01:04:26,600 Need a lift? Headed back to the loft? 1325 01:04:27,467 --> 01:04:29,700 Yeah. Thanks, D.H. 1326 01:04:29,733 --> 01:04:30,933 Please. 1327 01:04:34,033 --> 01:04:35,567 I'm sorry I called like that. 1328 01:04:35,600 --> 01:04:36,800 I didn't know what else to do. 1329 01:04:36,833 --> 01:04:38,100 No. You did the exact right thing. 1330 01:04:38,133 --> 01:04:39,467 I'm glad we were on the Island. 1331 01:04:39,500 --> 01:04:40,667 Good boy. 1332 01:04:40,700 --> 01:04:41,667 (SNIFFS) 1333 01:04:41,700 --> 01:04:43,467 Very good boy. 1334 01:04:49,433 --> 01:04:50,767 (DOG BARKING) 1335 01:04:53,200 --> 01:04:55,167 You know, I was the best man at your, uh, 1336 01:04:55,200 --> 01:04:57,400 parents' wedding. Did you know that, Igby? 1337 01:04:58,133 --> 01:05:00,167 Yeah, the golden couple. 1338 01:05:00,200 --> 01:05:02,033 That's what the paper called it. 1339 01:05:02,667 --> 01:05:04,233 Yeah, my boy. 1340 01:05:05,467 --> 01:05:07,667 My boy. 1341 01:05:07,700 --> 01:05:10,000 You know what I think you've been up to, my boy? 1342 01:05:10,033 --> 01:05:11,567 I think you've been pissing 1343 01:05:11,600 --> 01:05:14,267 in the well from which you drink. 1344 01:05:14,300 --> 01:05:16,667 That's what I think you've been up to, my boy. 1345 01:05:20,133 --> 01:05:21,033 (GRUNTING) 1346 01:05:23,533 --> 01:05:24,567 (GRUNTING) 1347 01:05:37,500 --> 01:05:38,667 (GROANING) 1348 01:05:41,600 --> 01:05:43,033 What happened? 1349 01:05:44,733 --> 01:05:46,567 Breach of contract. 1350 01:05:46,600 --> 01:05:47,967 D.H. did this to you? 1351 01:05:49,100 --> 01:05:50,600 I didn't know he could get angry. 1352 01:05:50,633 --> 01:05:52,100 He wasn't angry. 1353 01:05:52,133 --> 01:05:55,533 He felt obligated. 1354 01:05:55,567 --> 01:05:59,167 Not to worry. I doubt it will affect your position as his prime punk. 1355 01:05:59,200 --> 01:06:00,667 I think if Gandhi 1356 01:06:00,700 --> 01:06:02,100 had had to hang out with you 1357 01:06:02,133 --> 01:06:03,600 for any prolonged period of time 1358 01:06:03,633 --> 01:06:05,767 he'd have ended up kicking the shit out of you. 1359 01:06:06,533 --> 01:06:08,500 Fuckwit. 1360 01:06:08,533 --> 01:06:10,133 Why, Igby? 1361 01:06:10,167 --> 01:06:11,100 Rachel. 1362 01:06:13,000 --> 01:06:14,567 You're screwing Rachel? 1363 01:06:14,600 --> 01:06:16,267 You're screwing Rachel? 1364 01:06:16,300 --> 01:06:18,100 Where was Rachel when all this was going on? 1365 01:06:19,333 --> 01:06:20,133 Od'd. 1366 01:06:22,467 --> 01:06:24,067 Is she dead? 1367 01:06:25,033 --> 01:06:26,733 St. Vincent's. 1368 01:06:26,767 --> 01:06:27,867 (SIGHS) 1369 01:06:29,167 --> 01:06:30,433 Unbelievable. 1370 01:06:32,233 --> 01:06:34,633 Mom wanted me to escort you down to D.C. 1371 01:06:34,667 --> 01:06:36,433 And deliver you to St. Anthony's, 1372 01:06:36,467 --> 01:06:37,967 but you can't travel now. 1373 01:06:38,833 --> 01:06:40,200 At least not with me. 1374 01:06:41,533 --> 01:06:43,000 I'm not going. 1375 01:06:43,033 --> 01:06:44,700 I took the equivalency test. 1376 01:06:44,733 --> 01:06:45,467 I don't have to go. 1377 01:06:45,500 --> 01:06:46,700 Humor her. 1378 01:06:46,733 --> 01:06:48,233 Humor me and fuck off. 1379 01:06:50,200 --> 01:06:52,167 Apparently, they found another lump. 1380 01:06:52,200 --> 01:06:53,100 Good. 1381 01:07:07,600 --> 01:07:09,267 Say hello to Sookie for me. 1382 01:07:15,533 --> 01:07:16,700 (DOOR CLOSES) 1383 01:07:21,300 --> 01:07:22,200 You see... 1384 01:07:23,867 --> 01:07:25,133 I have this... 1385 01:07:27,733 --> 01:07:29,033 I feel... 1386 01:07:29,733 --> 01:07:30,700 this 1387 01:07:31,200 --> 01:07:32,367 great, 1388 01:07:33,000 --> 01:07:34,033 great 1389 01:07:34,767 --> 01:07:35,933 pressure 1390 01:07:37,900 --> 01:07:39,433 coming down on me. 1391 01:07:42,033 --> 01:07:43,400 It's crushing me. 1392 01:08:01,200 --> 01:08:04,233 It's just you and me, old man. 1393 01:08:07,133 --> 01:08:08,233 Just 1394 01:08:09,267 --> 01:08:10,233 you and me. 1395 01:08:46,600 --> 01:08:47,400 (KNOCKING) 1396 01:08:49,033 --> 01:08:50,200 Sookie? 1397 01:08:51,167 --> 01:08:52,667 Sookie, are you there? 1398 01:08:54,033 --> 01:08:55,433 Oh, my God! Igby! 1399 01:08:55,467 --> 01:08:56,200 Um... 1400 01:08:56,800 --> 01:08:58,667 I'm in the shower. 1401 01:08:58,700 --> 01:09:00,500 Go away. Come back later! 1402 01:09:00,533 --> 01:09:02,500 We've got to go now. I gotta get out of here. 1403 01:09:02,533 --> 01:09:03,667 What? 1404 01:09:03,700 --> 01:09:05,367 We gotta go now. I know we said the summer, 1405 01:09:05,400 --> 01:09:07,567 but we gotta go now. 1406 01:09:07,600 --> 01:09:09,833 Igby, there's something that I have to tell you. 1407 01:09:09,867 --> 01:09:11,700 Ollie. Yes, I know. I know. 1408 01:09:11,733 --> 01:09:13,133 How soon can you be ready? 1409 01:09:13,167 --> 01:09:15,067 I can't go with you, Igby. I can't. 1410 01:09:16,433 --> 01:09:18,033 Things have changed. 1411 01:09:18,067 --> 01:09:19,900 No. No, no, they haven't. 1412 01:09:19,933 --> 01:09:21,367 You're my friend! 1413 01:09:21,400 --> 01:09:23,600 My friend. That hasn't changed, right? 1414 01:09:23,633 --> 01:09:27,567 No. No. That hasn't changed. But, um... 1415 01:09:27,600 --> 01:09:29,267 Ollie and I are... 1416 01:09:31,567 --> 01:09:33,000 We're the same age, and, um... 1417 01:09:33,033 --> 01:09:34,400 (YELLING) No! 1418 01:09:34,433 --> 01:09:35,300 No! 1419 01:09:35,867 --> 01:09:36,867 No! 1420 01:09:36,900 --> 01:09:38,667 Igby, Igby, calm down! 1421 01:09:38,700 --> 01:09:41,600 This is perfect! This is fucking perfect! 1422 01:09:41,633 --> 01:09:44,167 Sookie Sapperstein and the young republican. 1423 01:09:44,200 --> 01:09:45,733 Of course. How natural! 1424 01:09:45,767 --> 01:09:47,300 Shut up, Igby! 1425 01:09:47,333 --> 01:09:49,033 You think you're what he wants? 1426 01:09:49,067 --> 01:09:50,700 You think that you fit the picture 1427 01:09:50,733 --> 01:09:52,533 of how he wants his life to look? 1428 01:09:52,567 --> 01:09:54,367 You think that he'd bring you back to our mother 1429 01:09:54,400 --> 01:09:55,867 as a potential wife? 1430 01:09:55,900 --> 01:09:57,500 Our mother? 1431 01:09:57,533 --> 01:09:59,033 Sure, she'd be nice to your face, 1432 01:09:59,067 --> 01:10:00,467 but the first opportunity 1433 01:10:00,500 --> 01:10:02,700 she'd pull him aside and warn him off. 1434 01:10:02,733 --> 01:10:06,033 "Mongrel children have such a hard time fitting in, dearest!" 1435 01:10:06,067 --> 01:10:07,933 Shut up, Igby! 1436 01:10:07,967 --> 01:10:09,967 He will lie to you! 1437 01:10:10,000 --> 01:10:11,233 He will lie to you! 1438 01:10:11,267 --> 01:10:13,900 He will use you up and marry some inbred 1439 01:10:13,933 --> 01:10:15,367 Darien Frau who will beget him 1440 01:10:15,400 --> 01:10:17,667 all the towheaded brats he can afford. 1441 01:10:17,700 --> 01:10:19,067 Go away, Igby! 1442 01:10:19,100 --> 01:10:21,467 They are rigid and they are cold! 1443 01:10:21,500 --> 01:10:23,900 And you don't know they are cold, cold, cold 1444 01:10:23,933 --> 01:10:26,167 to the fuckin' bone! 1445 01:10:26,200 --> 01:10:27,267 Sookie! 1446 01:10:31,000 --> 01:10:32,967 (CRYING) I'm not going with you, Igby. 1447 01:10:42,867 --> 01:10:44,067 I'm scared. 1448 01:10:45,533 --> 01:10:46,600 (SOBBING) 1449 01:10:51,733 --> 01:10:53,267 (DOOR OPENS) 1450 01:11:00,767 --> 01:11:03,733 You're just a glutton for fuckin' punishment, aren't you, Igs? 1451 01:11:05,733 --> 01:11:08,000 (DON'T PANIC PLAYING) 1452 01:11:12,100 --> 01:11:14,700 * Bones sinkin' like stones 1453 01:11:14,733 --> 01:11:17,333 * All that we fought for 1454 01:11:19,867 --> 01:11:22,567 * Homes, places we've grown 1455 01:11:22,600 --> 01:11:25,367 * All of us are done for 1456 01:11:28,433 --> 01:11:31,333 * And we live in a beautiful world 1457 01:11:33,900 --> 01:11:36,700 * Yeah we do, yeah we do 1458 01:11:36,733 --> 01:11:39,367 * We live in a beautiful world 1459 01:11:43,267 --> 01:11:45,967 * Bones sinkin' like stones 1460 01:11:46,000 --> 01:11:48,533 * All that we fought for 1461 01:11:51,233 --> 01:11:54,133 * Homes, places we've grown 1462 01:11:54,167 --> 01:11:56,700 * All of us are done for 1463 01:11:59,767 --> 01:12:02,633 * And we live in a beautiful world 1464 01:12:05,267 --> 01:12:08,033 * Yeah we do, yeah we do 1465 01:12:08,067 --> 01:12:10,800 * We live in a beautiful world * 1466 01:12:15,433 --> 01:12:16,533 IGBY: Russel! 1467 01:12:18,000 --> 01:12:19,100 Russel! 1468 01:12:21,633 --> 01:12:23,433 Russel, I need a job! 1469 01:12:33,100 --> 01:12:34,400 (BUZZES) 1470 01:12:36,867 --> 01:12:38,067 WOMAN: Hello? 1471 01:12:38,100 --> 01:12:39,400 Lisa Fiedler's? 1472 01:12:39,433 --> 01:12:40,700 Uh-huh. 1473 01:12:40,733 --> 01:12:42,433 I know a girl from Baltimore. 1474 01:12:43,600 --> 01:12:44,467 So what? 1475 01:12:46,433 --> 01:12:48,400 I know a girl from Baltimore. 1476 01:12:48,433 --> 01:12:50,200 What are you talking about? 1477 01:12:51,700 --> 01:12:54,900 I know a girl from Baltimore! 1478 01:12:54,933 --> 01:12:56,933 So do I! 1479 01:12:56,967 --> 01:12:59,633 Lisa, there's some guy here for you, but he keeps talking... 1480 01:12:59,667 --> 01:13:01,200 LISA: Who is it? 1481 01:13:01,233 --> 01:13:03,267 I don't know. He's saying something about Baltimore? 1482 01:13:03,300 --> 01:13:04,467 The drugs! 1483 01:13:04,500 --> 01:13:05,867 Oh, the drugs! 1484 01:13:05,900 --> 01:13:07,767 (BUZZES) 1485 01:13:07,800 --> 01:13:10,733 It's me. I'm at Fiedler's house. 1486 01:13:10,767 --> 01:13:13,667 She wants to know if she can pay with a personal check. 1487 01:13:13,700 --> 01:13:14,833 You have no cash? 1488 01:13:14,867 --> 01:13:16,367 No. 1489 01:13:16,400 --> 01:13:19,233 I might have enough in travelers' checks and francs. 1490 01:13:19,267 --> 01:13:21,733 Her roommate says she may have enough in travelers' checks. 1491 01:13:21,767 --> 01:13:23,467 And francs! 1492 01:13:24,867 --> 01:13:25,800 And francs. 1493 01:13:27,900 --> 01:13:29,000 Mmm-hmm. 1494 01:13:29,800 --> 01:13:30,667 Okay. 1495 01:13:31,933 --> 01:13:32,900 You'll owe us. 1496 01:13:36,333 --> 01:13:38,167 Why don't you make yourself comfortable, guy? 1497 01:13:38,200 --> 01:13:39,500 I'll be right back. 1498 01:13:45,033 --> 01:13:46,300 Miss Piggee? 1499 01:13:47,233 --> 01:13:48,367 Yes? 1500 01:13:48,933 --> 01:13:50,033 It's Igby. 1501 01:13:52,200 --> 01:13:54,700 Ollie Slocumb's younger brother, Igby. 1502 01:13:56,100 --> 01:13:58,933 Igby, oh, of course! 1503 01:13:58,967 --> 01:13:59,967 Of course! 1504 01:14:01,167 --> 01:14:02,833 How is Ollie? 1505 01:14:02,867 --> 01:14:04,233 Columbia, right? 1506 01:14:04,900 --> 01:14:07,100 Right. 1507 01:14:07,133 --> 01:14:09,567 We're all hoping that once he's healed a bit from the accident 1508 01:14:09,600 --> 01:14:11,300 that he'll be able to 1509 01:14:11,333 --> 01:14:14,033 lead a fairly normal life and be able to go back to a... 1510 01:14:14,067 --> 01:14:15,167 Oh, no! 1511 01:14:16,133 --> 01:14:17,467 What happened? 1512 01:14:17,500 --> 01:14:18,700 Well, 1513 01:14:18,733 --> 01:14:21,433 apparently, as far as anyone can tell, 1514 01:14:21,467 --> 01:14:23,100 he was ten-speeding 1515 01:14:23,133 --> 01:14:25,600 a gazillion miles an hour through Central Park, 1516 01:14:25,633 --> 01:14:28,700 racing with all the other young Turks, 1517 01:14:28,733 --> 01:14:30,833 when apparently, he caught his own reflection 1518 01:14:30,867 --> 01:14:34,000 in the handlebar mirror, and became so 1519 01:14:34,033 --> 01:14:37,100 aroused by it that he burst his Speedo shorts 1520 01:14:37,133 --> 01:14:38,733 which then got caught in the gears 1521 01:14:38,767 --> 01:14:41,333 and just threw him on his face, splatter. 1522 01:14:41,367 --> 01:14:43,533 Luckily, someone had the presence of mind 1523 01:14:43,567 --> 01:14:45,800 to scrape his face off the pavement 1524 01:14:45,833 --> 01:14:47,000 and put it on ice. 1525 01:14:47,033 --> 01:14:49,000 Doctors were able to graft most of it back... 1526 01:14:49,033 --> 01:14:49,700 I'm sorry. 1527 01:14:54,233 --> 01:14:56,433 And you, you, um... 1528 01:14:56,467 --> 01:14:59,567 Well, this is what you're up to. 1529 01:14:59,600 --> 01:15:01,133 Bigger-picture Darwinism. 1530 01:15:03,367 --> 01:15:05,400 You two know each other. 1531 01:15:05,433 --> 01:15:06,667 Wow! 1532 01:15:06,700 --> 01:15:08,567 Yes, yes. 1533 01:15:08,600 --> 01:15:10,667 Igby Slocumb was in my art class. 1534 01:15:10,700 --> 01:15:12,867 He was one of my students. 1535 01:15:12,900 --> 01:15:15,467 You used to call me Miss piggy, didn't you, Igby? 1536 01:15:16,433 --> 01:15:17,400 Yeah. 1537 01:15:23,500 --> 01:15:25,300 Do you want me to cut this for you? 1538 01:15:25,333 --> 01:15:26,833 (CAR ALARM WAILING) 1539 01:15:31,033 --> 01:15:32,000 WOMAN: Fuck! 1540 01:15:36,533 --> 01:15:37,500 Lucky charms? 1541 01:15:38,067 --> 01:15:39,133 What? 1542 01:15:39,167 --> 01:15:41,600 Fuckin' Lucky Charms! 1543 01:15:42,233 --> 01:15:44,000 I don't know. 1544 01:15:44,033 --> 01:15:44,933 (SIGHS) 1545 01:15:51,133 --> 01:15:52,067 (GLASS BREAKS) 1546 01:15:54,033 --> 01:15:55,733 Psycho bitch! 1547 01:15:58,367 --> 01:16:00,700 What did you do with her Lucky Charms? 1548 01:16:01,400 --> 01:16:02,533 Nothing. 1549 01:16:04,333 --> 01:16:06,000 (SIGHS) She's a bit upset. 1550 01:16:07,600 --> 01:16:09,833 Her one-woman show wasn't terribly 1551 01:16:09,867 --> 01:16:11,700 well received at the Pyramid tonight. 1552 01:16:12,567 --> 01:16:14,267 Really? Mmm. 1553 01:16:14,300 --> 01:16:17,233 The world isn't ready for Peeka! 1554 01:16:17,267 --> 01:16:19,800 No? I told her. 1555 01:16:19,833 --> 01:16:23,100 Lorna Luft was just too fucking obscure. 1556 01:16:23,133 --> 01:16:25,067 People just think you're doing a bad Liza. 1557 01:16:26,100 --> 01:16:27,300 I love Lorna. 1558 01:16:27,333 --> 01:16:28,867 Oh, yeah. Me, too. 1559 01:16:34,933 --> 01:16:36,700 Oh, hey. Hey. 1560 01:16:36,733 --> 01:16:38,500 Your brother is looking for you. 1561 01:16:38,533 --> 01:16:39,800 Yeah? 1562 01:16:39,833 --> 01:16:40,700 Yeah. 1563 01:16:41,400 --> 01:16:43,100 Your mom is dying. 1564 01:16:43,133 --> 01:16:44,000 Yeah? 1565 01:16:47,067 --> 01:16:47,867 Yeah. 1566 01:16:49,700 --> 01:16:51,967 You know what you have to think of it as? 1567 01:16:52,000 --> 01:16:52,667 What? 1568 01:16:54,667 --> 01:16:56,700 Like an act of God. 1569 01:16:58,533 --> 01:17:01,167 If there were a God, he'd have acted a lot sooner. 1570 01:17:01,200 --> 01:17:02,200 What? 1571 01:17:02,233 --> 01:17:03,200 Nothing. 1572 01:17:05,533 --> 01:17:06,867 (WHISPERING) He left you a ticket. 1573 01:17:06,900 --> 01:17:08,367 Excellent. 1574 01:17:08,400 --> 01:17:10,333 It's non-refundable. 1575 01:17:10,367 --> 01:17:12,200 He wanted me to tell you that. 1576 01:17:12,233 --> 01:17:13,200 Dick. 1577 01:17:21,100 --> 01:17:22,800 (GARBAGE TRUCKS RUMBLING) 1578 01:17:41,400 --> 01:17:42,467 Hey. 1579 01:17:44,333 --> 01:17:45,967 I gotta take a piss. 1580 01:17:49,933 --> 01:17:51,033 Rachel? 1581 01:17:51,967 --> 01:17:52,767 Igby? 1582 01:17:56,900 --> 01:17:58,233 Toilet paper? 1583 01:17:58,267 --> 01:17:59,067 (SNIFFS) 1584 01:18:01,100 --> 01:18:02,300 Here. 1585 01:18:02,333 --> 01:18:03,500 It's Russel's. 1586 01:18:05,467 --> 01:18:07,967 How are you doing? 1587 01:18:08,000 --> 01:18:10,800 I'm pretty sensational, actually. 1588 01:18:12,100 --> 01:18:13,300 And you? 1589 01:18:14,400 --> 01:18:15,300 Good. 1590 01:18:16,067 --> 01:18:16,800 Really. 1591 01:18:17,633 --> 01:18:18,833 Um, but... 1592 01:18:22,033 --> 01:18:23,467 How is D.H.? 1593 01:18:26,000 --> 01:18:27,200 Does he miss me? 1594 01:18:28,400 --> 01:18:29,867 I haven't spoken to him since... 1595 01:18:29,900 --> 01:18:31,200 I bet he does. 1596 01:18:37,700 --> 01:18:39,500 (WHISPERING) Igby, you're cute. 1597 01:18:43,200 --> 01:18:44,533 (RACHEL SNORES) 1598 01:18:48,300 --> 01:18:49,300 (SIGHS) 1599 01:18:54,200 --> 01:18:55,133 Come on. 1600 01:18:57,200 --> 01:18:58,100 Down. 1601 01:19:00,267 --> 01:19:01,567 (MOANING) 1602 01:19:07,367 --> 01:19:09,233 Igby! Igby! 1603 01:19:09,267 --> 01:19:09,967 What? 1604 01:19:11,167 --> 01:19:12,600 Your poor mother. 1605 01:19:25,600 --> 01:19:28,600 MIMI: I've been hoarding seconal like a proper junkie. 1606 01:19:28,633 --> 01:19:31,033 I'm ready, Ollie. 1607 01:19:31,067 --> 01:19:32,833 It's time to round up your brother. 1608 01:20:13,400 --> 01:20:14,767 What's this? 1609 01:20:14,800 --> 01:20:16,433 An ice-cream sundae. 1610 01:20:17,500 --> 01:20:18,733 I accept. 1611 01:20:22,733 --> 01:20:25,033 I'm going to D.C. This weekend to kill my mother. 1612 01:20:25,667 --> 01:20:26,900 I'm shocked. 1613 01:20:29,433 --> 01:20:30,833 Ollie called me. 1614 01:20:31,900 --> 01:20:33,900 Apparently, he called everybody. 1615 01:20:33,933 --> 01:20:35,300 Stole your thunder. 1616 01:20:35,333 --> 01:20:36,700 Asshole. 1617 01:20:39,033 --> 01:20:40,900 This must be very hard on you. 1618 01:20:40,933 --> 01:20:43,067 Not as fucking hard as it's going to be on her. 1619 01:20:43,100 --> 01:20:44,867 You're just angry and confused. 1620 01:20:44,900 --> 01:20:46,467 Oh, my God, don't do that to me. 1621 01:20:46,500 --> 01:20:47,567 What? 1622 01:20:47,600 --> 01:20:48,700 Psych 101 me. 1623 01:20:48,733 --> 01:20:49,933 You're a furious boy. 1624 01:20:49,967 --> 01:20:51,867 I mean, eventually you won't be a boy 1625 01:20:51,900 --> 01:20:53,167 and it'll eat you up. 1626 01:20:53,200 --> 01:20:55,233 Furious boy? 1627 01:20:55,267 --> 01:20:58,733 The thought that I'm going to live my life without 1628 01:20:58,767 --> 01:21:00,733 ever having told her to fuck off, 1629 01:21:00,767 --> 01:21:02,400 is pretty goddamn infuriating. 1630 01:21:16,333 --> 01:21:17,933 Do you hate my guts? 1631 01:21:18,767 --> 01:21:20,600 For like a month I did. 1632 01:21:20,633 --> 01:21:22,167 Now you're not even in my top five. 1633 01:21:22,900 --> 01:21:24,233 Good. 1634 01:21:24,267 --> 01:21:25,600 I missed you. 1635 01:21:26,333 --> 01:21:27,967 Uh... 1636 01:21:28,000 --> 01:21:30,700 My life is, I don't know. I'm... 1637 01:21:30,733 --> 01:21:32,167 I'm drowning in assholes. 1638 01:21:33,500 --> 01:21:34,967 I'm your friend. 1639 01:21:36,700 --> 01:21:37,767 Yeah. 1640 01:21:38,500 --> 01:21:41,033 Listen, after... 1641 01:21:41,067 --> 01:21:42,967 I'm not coming back. Not to New York. 1642 01:21:43,633 --> 01:21:44,733 I know. 1643 01:21:47,500 --> 01:21:49,333 Can we go back to your mom's apartment and have sex? 1644 01:21:49,367 --> 01:21:51,133 No! 1645 01:21:51,167 --> 01:21:53,433 You think that'll make you feel better? It won't. 1646 01:21:53,467 --> 01:21:55,967 It'll just make you feel really empty and sad. 1647 01:21:58,033 --> 01:21:59,500 You're better off masturbating. 1648 01:22:05,800 --> 01:22:07,867 MIMI: Thank you for coming down. 1649 01:22:07,900 --> 01:22:10,167 Didn't want to fuck up my inheritance, did I? 1650 01:22:11,800 --> 01:22:13,700 Ollie has talked to you? 1651 01:22:14,567 --> 01:22:15,467 Hmm? 1652 01:22:17,133 --> 01:22:19,967 He explained what is to take place? 1653 01:22:20,000 --> 01:22:21,600 He said something about bludgeoning you 1654 01:22:21,633 --> 01:22:23,567 with a phone receiver, but he didn't really 1655 01:22:23,600 --> 01:22:25,167 go into specifics, no. 1656 01:22:26,167 --> 01:22:27,000 Igby. 1657 01:22:34,500 --> 01:22:38,567 The irony is that I took for granted I'd outlive you all. 1658 01:22:38,600 --> 01:22:41,367 You'd think, in this family, that I would be the least likely. 1659 01:22:42,567 --> 01:22:44,000 Jason, happy as a clam. 1660 01:22:44,033 --> 01:22:46,000 He'll live forever in the institution, you... 1661 01:22:46,033 --> 01:22:49,000 You know, just because you're dying, I'm not going to apologize. 1662 01:22:49,033 --> 01:22:51,300 Not for anything that I've ever done. 1663 01:22:53,433 --> 01:22:55,400 Why do you want me to be here, Mother? 1664 01:22:57,600 --> 01:22:58,900 Comic relief? 1665 01:23:01,100 --> 01:23:02,267 (BELL TOLLING) 1666 01:23:25,733 --> 01:23:27,133 I'm going for a walk. 1667 01:23:36,900 --> 01:23:38,533 Ollie, what are you drinking? 1668 01:23:38,567 --> 01:23:39,767 Scotch. 1669 01:23:39,800 --> 01:23:40,900 Scotch! 1670 01:23:42,933 --> 01:23:45,033 Well, I guess D.H. told you. 1671 01:23:45,067 --> 01:23:46,333 What? 1672 01:23:46,367 --> 01:23:48,033 Well, we've decided to bump 1673 01:23:48,067 --> 01:23:50,267 all those incredibly prominent 1674 01:23:50,300 --> 01:23:52,533 and terribly chic persons that you were 1675 01:23:52,567 --> 01:23:55,133 expecting to speak at your memorial, and, 1676 01:23:55,167 --> 01:23:57,333 well, have me speak for two hours or so. 1677 01:23:57,367 --> 01:23:59,900 What a clever idea. 1678 01:23:59,933 --> 01:24:02,033 You do understand, though, don't you, 1679 01:24:02,067 --> 01:24:04,200 that it is customary in a eulogy 1680 01:24:04,233 --> 01:24:07,333 to at least make reference to the deceased? 1681 01:24:07,367 --> 01:24:09,033 I intend to, mother. 1682 01:24:10,233 --> 01:24:11,500 Time permitting. 1683 01:24:17,000 --> 01:24:18,633 Are we ready, Ollie? 1684 01:24:20,333 --> 01:24:21,533 Shall we do this? 1685 01:24:24,167 --> 01:24:25,700 You understand, once we start, 1686 01:24:25,733 --> 01:24:27,600 you must get as much inside you as possible. 1687 01:24:27,633 --> 01:24:29,700 Yes, yes, yes. We've been through this. 1688 01:24:31,367 --> 01:24:33,300 I don't want to have to do this again. 1689 01:24:35,633 --> 01:24:36,800 No. 1690 01:24:40,967 --> 01:24:42,033 Ugh! 1691 01:24:42,800 --> 01:24:44,033 Ugh. 1692 01:24:44,067 --> 01:24:44,933 Mmm. 1693 01:24:45,867 --> 01:24:47,533 Is that strawberry? 1694 01:24:47,567 --> 01:24:50,167 I thought the idea was to stop me from vomiting up the poison. 1695 01:24:57,733 --> 01:24:58,667 Wait. Wait. 1696 01:24:59,600 --> 01:25:00,933 Igby, 1697 01:25:00,967 --> 01:25:02,300 Igby, 1698 01:25:02,333 --> 01:25:04,500 I take it you know D.H. is your father. 1699 01:25:06,633 --> 01:25:07,933 No. 1700 01:25:07,967 --> 01:25:10,333 Then I'm really glad I told you. 1701 01:25:12,400 --> 01:25:14,000 Make yum-yum, Mimi. 1702 01:25:29,633 --> 01:25:30,767 Mimi? 1703 01:25:34,200 --> 01:25:36,400 Much love, all right? 1704 01:27:03,133 --> 01:27:05,433 (SOBBING) C'mon, wake up! 1705 01:27:12,800 --> 01:27:14,633 Come on! 1706 01:27:14,667 --> 01:27:16,000 Come on! 1707 01:27:20,067 --> 01:27:22,000 Oh, God, I'm sorry. 1708 01:27:23,767 --> 01:27:25,933 (SOBBING) 1709 01:27:35,633 --> 01:27:36,733 I'm sorry. 1710 01:27:53,133 --> 01:27:54,367 Listen... 1711 01:27:56,200 --> 01:27:58,300 Do you wanna see the body 1712 01:27:58,333 --> 01:27:59,733 before they come to collect it? 1713 01:28:09,033 --> 01:28:10,867 I've seen it. 1714 01:28:10,900 --> 01:28:12,433 (PLAYING PIANO) 1715 01:28:29,400 --> 01:28:30,600 (CLEARS THROAT) 1716 01:28:36,900 --> 01:28:38,233 Excuse me. 1717 01:28:45,400 --> 01:28:46,833 IGBY: Hello, Mrs. Hathaway? 1718 01:28:48,267 --> 01:28:50,300 This is Jason Slocumb, Jr. 1719 01:28:52,333 --> 01:28:53,433 Igby. 1720 01:28:55,100 --> 01:28:56,567 No, I'm afraid she can't. 1721 01:28:57,500 --> 01:28:59,700 'Cause she's dead. 1722 01:28:59,733 --> 01:29:02,500 He's always enjoyed being the bearer of bad tidings. 1723 01:29:08,267 --> 01:29:10,167 Hello, Mrs. Bittle. It's Igby. 1724 01:29:11,367 --> 01:29:13,200 If you could sign this release. 1725 01:29:13,233 --> 01:29:14,467 IGBY: I'd love to, Mrs. Bittle, 1726 01:29:14,500 --> 01:29:15,767 but she's dead. 1727 01:29:32,367 --> 01:29:33,533 Great job. 1728 01:29:34,133 --> 01:29:35,800 Thank you. 1729 01:29:35,833 --> 01:29:37,800 IGBY: Aunt Penelope? 1730 01:29:37,833 --> 01:29:39,133 It's Igby. 1731 01:29:39,167 --> 01:29:40,800 Well, this all seems to be in order. 1732 01:29:42,067 --> 01:29:44,233 IGBY: Yes, I'm in Washington. 1733 01:29:44,267 --> 01:29:47,200 This is for you and your helpers. 1734 01:29:47,233 --> 01:29:49,867 Thank you very much. That's very generous of you. 1735 01:29:51,267 --> 01:29:53,000 Mmm-hmm. Yeah. 1736 01:29:53,033 --> 01:29:56,000 Yes, I'm sure she'd love to, Aunt Penelope. 1737 01:29:56,033 --> 01:29:58,300 Yes. Yeah. Except for one thing. 1738 01:30:19,767 --> 01:30:21,800 Yes, Aunt Penelope, I'm sure she was. 1739 01:30:22,200 --> 01:30:23,567 Yes. 1740 01:30:23,600 --> 01:30:24,533 Tuesday. 1741 01:30:25,267 --> 01:30:26,333 Thank you. 1742 01:30:27,333 --> 01:30:28,333 Bye-bye. 1743 01:30:35,000 --> 01:30:36,500 It's ironic... 1744 01:30:38,767 --> 01:30:42,000 That the first time in my entire life that I feel 1745 01:30:42,033 --> 01:30:44,467 remotely affectionate toward her is when she's dead. 1746 01:30:48,233 --> 01:30:49,800 You beat up her corpse. 1747 01:30:51,467 --> 01:30:52,767 No, after that. 1748 01:30:54,200 --> 01:30:55,433 The service is in two days. 1749 01:30:55,467 --> 01:30:57,033 You can stay in your old room. 1750 01:30:57,067 --> 01:30:58,967 You killed her, Ollie. You bury her. 1751 01:31:00,967 --> 01:31:02,100 I'm joking. 1752 01:31:03,833 --> 01:31:08,600 Listen, I've got this discount fare, and... 1753 01:31:08,633 --> 01:31:10,567 It'd be kind of hypocritical of me. 1754 01:31:11,133 --> 01:31:12,200 You know. 1755 01:31:13,633 --> 01:31:15,533 You'll handle it like everything else, right? 1756 01:31:15,567 --> 01:31:16,567 Right. 1757 01:31:18,800 --> 01:31:20,133 You should hate me. 1758 01:31:20,167 --> 01:31:21,533 I don't. 1759 01:31:21,567 --> 01:31:22,600 You should. 1760 01:31:22,633 --> 01:31:23,933 I don't hate you. 1761 01:31:23,967 --> 01:31:25,333 Don't be indulgent. 1762 01:31:26,000 --> 01:31:27,067 Never that. 1763 01:31:28,667 --> 01:31:30,333 You're going to California? 1764 01:31:30,367 --> 01:31:32,333 Yep. The sunshine state. 1765 01:31:32,367 --> 01:31:34,567 Actually, Florida's the sunshine state. 1766 01:31:35,167 --> 01:31:36,267 Really? 1767 01:31:37,767 --> 01:31:40,767 Well, 3,000 fuckin' miles away from here. 1768 01:31:40,800 --> 01:31:42,867 Is there a number where we can reach you? 1769 01:31:42,900 --> 01:31:44,767 We? No. 1770 01:31:44,800 --> 01:31:46,433 Well, you call when there is. 1771 01:31:52,767 --> 01:31:56,333 There really isn't that much between us, is there? 1772 01:31:56,367 --> 01:31:58,700 Just an ever-diminishing amount of blood. 1773 01:32:03,567 --> 01:32:04,600 Bye. 1774 01:32:09,200 --> 01:32:10,467 Well done. 1775 01:32:22,300 --> 01:32:24,500 (THE WEIGHT PLAYING) 1776 01:32:29,867 --> 01:32:32,500 * I pulled into Nazareth 1777 01:32:32,533 --> 01:32:35,267 * I was a feelin' about half past dead 1778 01:32:36,700 --> 01:32:39,667 * I just need some place 1779 01:32:39,700 --> 01:32:44,200 * Where I can lay my head 1780 01:32:44,233 --> 01:32:47,000 * Hey, Mister, can you tell me 1781 01:32:47,033 --> 01:32:49,633 * Where a man might find a bed? 1782 01:32:51,267 --> 01:32:54,433 * He just grinned and shook my hand 1783 01:32:54,467 --> 01:32:56,633 * And "no" was all he said 1784 01:32:58,333 --> 01:33:00,833 * Take a load off Fanny 1785 01:33:01,933 --> 01:33:04,000 * Take a load for free 1786 01:33:05,433 --> 01:33:07,967 * Take a load off Fanny 1787 01:33:09,533 --> 01:33:12,467 * And 1788 01:33:12,500 --> 01:33:15,500 * You can put the load right on me 1789 01:33:22,467 --> 01:33:25,167 * I picked up my bag 1790 01:33:25,200 --> 01:33:27,967 * I went looking for a place to hide 1791 01:33:29,833 --> 01:33:32,567 * When I saw Carmen and the devil 1792 01:33:32,600 --> 01:33:35,667 * Walking side by side 1793 01:33:36,600 --> 01:33:39,400 * I said, "Hey now, Carmen 1794 01:33:39,433 --> 01:33:41,967 * "Come on, let's go downtown" 1795 01:33:43,633 --> 01:33:46,800 * She said "I gotta go 1796 01:33:46,833 --> 01:33:49,133 * "But my friend can stick around" 1797 01:33:50,600 --> 01:33:53,000 * Take a load off Fanny 1798 01:33:54,500 --> 01:33:56,200 * Take a load for free 1799 01:33:57,933 --> 01:34:00,367 * Take a load off Fanny 1800 01:34:02,100 --> 01:34:05,100 * And 1801 01:34:05,133 --> 01:34:07,700 * You can put the load right on me 1802 01:34:22,133 --> 01:34:24,667 * Go down, Miss Moses 1803 01:34:24,700 --> 01:34:27,567 * There's nothin' you can say 1804 01:34:29,033 --> 01:34:32,033 * It's just ol' Luke, and 1805 01:34:32,067 --> 01:34:34,533 * Luke's a-waitin' on the judgment day 1806 01:34:36,000 --> 01:34:38,833 * "Well, Luke, my friend 1807 01:34:38,867 --> 01:34:41,633 * "What about young Anna Lee?" 1808 01:34:43,000 --> 01:34:46,167 * "Won't you do me a favor, son 1809 01:34:46,200 --> 01:34:48,833 * "Won't you stay and keep Anna Lee company?" 1810 01:34:50,067 --> 01:34:52,600 * Take a load off Fanny 1811 01:34:53,700 --> 01:34:55,767 * Take a load for free 1812 01:34:57,300 --> 01:34:59,600 * Take a load off Fanny 1813 01:35:01,333 --> 01:35:04,133 * And 1814 01:35:04,167 --> 01:35:07,200 * You can put the load right on me 1815 01:35:09,500 --> 01:35:11,200 * Ooh, ooh 1816 01:35:18,600 --> 01:35:20,800 (MURRAY PLAYING) 1817 01:35:22,200 --> 01:35:25,600 * I know a man who lives under his covers 1818 01:35:25,633 --> 01:35:27,800 * Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh 1819 01:35:28,833 --> 01:35:31,200 * Lost his mind from the TV 1820 01:35:31,233 --> 01:35:35,967 * And now he's playing God 1821 01:35:36,000 --> 01:35:39,300 * Somebody told him that he was no good at 1822 01:35:39,333 --> 01:35:42,500 * Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh 1823 01:35:42,533 --> 01:35:45,300 * Talking out of the left side 1824 01:35:45,333 --> 01:35:48,433 * Of his mouth 1825 01:35:49,567 --> 01:35:52,867 * And he won't follow 1826 01:35:52,900 --> 01:35:55,633 * These lines he's drawn for him 1827 01:35:55,667 --> 01:35:58,833 * And he don't wanna try 1828 01:35:59,700 --> 01:36:02,067 * Seein' is believin' 1829 01:36:02,100 --> 01:36:04,333 * Lord knows what he sees here every night 1830 01:36:07,100 --> 01:36:10,200 * Three little boys dress up in the morning 1831 01:36:10,233 --> 01:36:13,700 * Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh 1832 01:36:13,733 --> 01:36:16,700 * Come back home from the schoolyard talkin' 'bout 1833 01:36:16,733 --> 01:36:20,400 * Love 1834 01:36:20,433 --> 01:36:23,933 * But on this occasion the boys feel the same 1835 01:36:23,967 --> 01:36:27,300 * Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh 1836 01:36:27,333 --> 01:36:29,967 * Something's holding them back there 1837 01:36:30,000 --> 01:36:33,033 * Bet it was their mom 1838 01:36:34,200 --> 01:36:37,433 * And they won't follow 1839 01:36:37,467 --> 01:36:40,333 * These lines he's drawn for them 1840 01:36:40,367 --> 01:36:43,167 * They don't wanna try 1841 01:36:44,333 --> 01:36:46,400 * Seein' is believin' 1842 01:36:46,433 --> 01:36:48,700 * Lord knows what they see here every night 1843 01:36:51,600 --> 01:36:54,900 * I know a man who wakes up in the evenin' 1844 01:36:54,933 --> 01:36:57,000 * Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh 1845 01:36:58,033 --> 01:37:00,867 * Lost his mind from the TV 1846 01:37:00,900 --> 01:37:05,400 * And now he's playing God 1847 01:37:05,433 --> 01:37:08,733 * And somebody told him that he's good for nothin' 1848 01:37:08,767 --> 01:37:11,700 * Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh 1849 01:37:11,733 --> 01:37:14,600 * Now he screen prints American T-shirts 1850 01:37:14,633 --> 01:37:17,733 * Through the night 1851 01:37:18,733 --> 01:37:22,067 * And he won't follow 1852 01:37:22,100 --> 01:37:24,833 * These lines they've drawn for him 1853 01:37:24,867 --> 01:37:27,967 * And he don't wanna try 1854 01:37:28,867 --> 01:37:30,933 * Seein' is believin' 1855 01:37:30,967 --> 01:37:32,633 * Lord knows what he sees here 1856 01:37:32,667 --> 01:37:34,167 * Seein' is believin' 1857 01:37:34,200 --> 01:37:35,733 * Lord knows what he sees here 1858 01:37:35,767 --> 01:37:37,767 * Seein' is believin' 1859 01:37:37,800 --> 01:37:40,400 * Lord knows what he sees here every night * 116097