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1
00:00:50,851 --> 00:00:52,405
You were incredible.
2
00:00:53,060 --> 00:00:55,270
My heart is still racing.
3
00:00:56,719 --> 00:00:58,479
I felt it too.
4
00:00:58,584 --> 00:01:00,517
All thanks to your
brute strength, Dash,
5
00:01:00,619 --> 00:01:03,761
and your knowledge of
ancient Aramaic mathematics.
6
00:01:03,865 --> 00:01:06,763
Please. This has nothing
to do with my two doctorates
7
00:01:06,867 --> 00:01:08,938
and my master's
in Gender Studies
8
00:01:09,835 --> 00:01:12,805
and everything to do
with you, Dr. Lovemore.
9
00:01:13,254 --> 00:01:15,152
The truth is,
10
00:01:15,256 --> 00:01:17,637
I never thought I would
find the Lost City of D.
11
00:01:17,740 --> 00:01:20,674
I would choose
your words carefully.
12
00:01:20,777 --> 00:01:22,539
They will be your last.
13
00:01:22,641 --> 00:01:26,405
You led me right to
King Kalaman's tomb
14
00:01:26,507 --> 00:01:30,097
and his queen's
legendary Crown of Fire.
15
00:01:30,201 --> 00:01:33,100
And now I will be very rich,
16
00:01:33,204 --> 00:01:35,896
and you will be very dead.
17
00:01:36,829 --> 00:01:40,212
Hold up. Are these...
Are these your snakes?
18
00:01:40,314 --> 00:01:41,936
No, they were just here.
19
00:01:42,040 --> 00:01:44,491
There were just hundreds
of snakes in this temple
20
00:01:44,594 --> 00:01:46,459
just waiting for us to show up?
21
00:01:46,563 --> 00:01:48,668
Who feeds them? You feed
them? No, what do they eat?
22
00:01:48,771 --> 00:01:51,052
Why is that one not biting that
guy? Why is that happening?
23
00:01:51,084 --> 00:01:53,948
- Are they trained not to bite henchmen or something?
- -Yeah, well...
24
00:01:54,052 --> 00:01:56,331
I mean, the
snake-to-temple ratio alone...
25
00:01:56,435 --> 00:01:58,884
This is ridiculous. Delete.
26
00:02:00,162 --> 00:02:02,061
I... I think my
character can still work.
27
00:02:02,165 --> 00:02:03,890
Delete.
28
00:02:03,993 --> 00:02:06,168
Loretta, you still
have a story to write.
29
00:02:06,858 --> 00:02:08,170
Delete.
30
00:02:10,551 --> 00:02:12,415
Hey, it's me, Beth.
31
00:02:12,520 --> 00:02:15,014
I don't want to pull the whole
"I'm your publisher" card, but I am.
32
00:02:15,038 --> 00:02:17,387
And I'm really looking forward
to seeing this last chapter.
33
00:02:17,490 --> 00:02:19,526
But no pressure. No,
there actually is pressure.
34
00:02:19,629 --> 00:02:23,806
The exact amount of pressure that
motivates you but doesn't paralyze you.
35
00:02:23,909 --> 00:02:25,290
You got this.
36
00:02:26,843 --> 00:02:27,843
Thank you.
37
00:02:27,913 --> 00:02:29,950
Me again.
38
00:02:30,054 --> 00:02:31,918
Okay, so everything
is set for the book tour,
39
00:02:32,021 --> 00:02:34,852
but, uh, the only thing we
need is a book to tour with.
40
00:02:34,956 --> 00:02:37,175
I can't help but get the
feeling that you're not finishing
41
00:02:37,199 --> 00:02:39,650
because you don't
want to leave your house.
42
00:02:39,753 --> 00:02:44,930
Listen, I know these last five years
have been hard after John's passing,
43
00:02:45,034 --> 00:02:48,418
and it feels easier
to live in your bathtub,
44
00:02:48,521 --> 00:02:51,179
drinking Chardonnay on ice.
45
00:02:51,283 --> 00:02:54,078
But, girl, there is a great
big world waiting for you
46
00:02:54,182 --> 00:02:57,185
and a book tour that I can't cancel,
so just make it happen, all right?
47
00:02:57,288 --> 00:02:58,531
Love you, bye!
48
00:03:17,550 --> 00:03:19,068
We have to keep going.
49
00:03:20,103 --> 00:03:22,590
Let's see what's on the
other side of that door.
50
00:03:22,693 --> 00:03:24,799
But what if there
isn't anything?
51
00:03:25,557 --> 00:03:27,628
There's only one
way to find out.
52
00:03:28,526 --> 00:03:30,460
Then Lovemore realized
53
00:03:30,562 --> 00:03:32,841
the treasure she
wanted was lost forever
54
00:03:32,944 --> 00:03:35,326
and her adventures
were coming to an end.
55
00:03:35,430 --> 00:03:36,569
That doesn't feel right.
56
00:03:36,673 --> 00:03:38,468
Yeah, but that's it.
57
00:03:38,570 --> 00:03:40,021
That's the end.
58
00:03:49,063 --> 00:03:50,617
Well, John,
59
00:03:51,204 --> 00:03:52,308
here I go.
60
00:03:52,413 --> 00:03:54,691
Dulcius ex asperis.
61
00:04:01,213 --> 00:04:03,975
- Okay, honey, it's showtime.
- Are you sure about this?
62
00:04:04,079 --> 00:04:07,669
Because I have a wedgie in the
back and in the front in this thing.
63
00:04:07,772 --> 00:04:10,015
I feel like a nerdy
figure skater.
64
00:04:10,120 --> 00:04:12,812
Sexy. Stunner. I'm all
about it. No, it's not. It's not.
65
00:04:12,915 --> 00:04:14,848
- How do I move in this?
- Don't touch it.
66
00:04:14,951 --> 00:04:17,240
I'm not touching it. I'm holding
it out. Stop it. Will you stop?
67
00:04:17,264 --> 00:04:19,439
Get it out now 'cause
you can't do that onstage.
68
00:04:19,543 --> 00:04:22,235
And we're done. And
we're done. Okay, good.
69
00:04:22,338 --> 00:04:24,237
Do I need to be
wearing a glitter onesie?
70
00:04:24,341 --> 00:04:25,870
You only have to
wear this for two hours.
71
00:04:25,894 --> 00:04:27,934
Do not mess this up, do
you hear me? This is on loan.
72
00:04:27,964 --> 00:04:29,966
Everyone's wearing
sequins right now.
73
00:04:31,485 --> 00:04:33,557
Why is she taking my
photo? This is Allison.
74
00:04:33,661 --> 00:04:35,973
She is our new
social media manager.
75
00:04:36,076 --> 00:04:38,906
And she's gonna be helping us
target that younger demographic.
76
00:04:39,011 --> 00:04:41,495
Meaning women in their 30s
who wish they were in their 20s.
77
00:04:41,600 --> 00:04:43,117
Hey, what's up?
78
00:04:43,221 --> 00:04:46,569
Um, I took over your socials,
so this morning you tweeted,
79
00:04:46,673 --> 00:04:51,850
"Where are my ladies at? Meet
me at Ballroom G at 5:00 p.m.
80
00:04:51,954 --> 00:04:53,404
#ShawnMendes.
81
00:04:53,507 --> 00:04:56,372
#GaggingToMeetYouAll."
82
00:04:56,476 --> 00:04:59,031
Okay, we are
having fun. Let's go.
83
00:04:59,134 --> 00:05:02,103
We need to remind people
that you are still alive.
84
00:05:02,206 --> 00:05:03,622
People know I'm alive.
85
00:05:03,725 --> 00:05:05,692
And to remind them
why this used to be
86
00:05:05,795 --> 00:05:07,867
the best selling
franchise. In Romance.
87
00:05:07,971 --> 00:05:10,593
Yes, which is the top
revenue-generating literary category.
88
00:05:10,697 --> 00:05:13,562
Revenue-generating isn't how I
would describe our presales right now.
89
00:05:13,665 --> 00:05:15,805
Just think of this as a way
that uses word of mouth.
90
00:05:15,910 --> 00:05:17,612
Oh, you want word of mouth?
Here we go. How's this?
91
00:05:17,636 --> 00:05:20,432
"The only thing more lost than
the city is the author herself."
92
00:05:20,535 --> 00:05:22,295
"Loveless." "Passionless."
93
00:05:22,399 --> 00:05:26,298
Uh, "Way past her prime." And,
oh, "This is fake history at its worst."
94
00:05:26,403 --> 00:05:28,577
A book tour could
change everything, okay?
95
00:05:28,680 --> 00:05:30,994
We have to remind the fans
why they love you so much.
96
00:05:31,096 --> 00:05:34,687
Real history. I merely season
it with a smidge more nudity.
97
00:05:34,790 --> 00:05:37,000
History had a ton of nudity.
98
00:05:37,862 --> 00:05:39,933
Deep exploration.
99
00:05:40,036 --> 00:05:42,523
Steamy wondering.
100
00:05:42,625 --> 00:05:47,665
Will Lovemore and Dash find
Queen Taha's priceless Crown of Fire?
101
00:05:47,769 --> 00:05:49,564
Join them on their search.
102
00:05:49,668 --> 00:05:51,680
So, listen, I wanted to talk
to you about something.
103
00:05:51,704 --> 00:05:52,947
There's so many people.
104
00:05:53,050 --> 00:05:55,189
I know how much you
hate doing these things,
105
00:05:55,293 --> 00:05:58,021
so I've invited Alan to do
the Q and A with you today.
106
00:05:58,124 --> 00:06:00,125
- What?
- And the rest of the book tour.
107
00:06:00,230 --> 00:06:03,197
Beth, I expressly asked not to do
any more events with Dash... Alan, Alan!
108
00:06:03,302 --> 00:06:06,132
- He's gonna humiliate me.
- He's not gonna humiliate you.
109
00:06:06,235 --> 00:06:09,273
Thank you. You're very good at your
job. Thank you so much. Thank you.
110
00:06:09,377 --> 00:06:10,584
Let me help you with that.
111
00:06:10,689 --> 00:06:12,586
He is... He's a body
wash commercial.
112
00:06:12,690 --> 00:06:14,555
He's always glistening
all over the place.
113
00:06:14,658 --> 00:06:17,557
There hasn't been an event
where his shirt didn't come flying off.
114
00:06:17,661 --> 00:06:19,180
You wish. Well,
he's already here,
115
00:06:19,283 --> 00:06:21,483
so put on your big-girl
panties and let's get out there.
116
00:06:21,526 --> 00:06:24,702
Remember, no grumpy face,
big words or boring academic talk.
117
00:06:24,805 --> 00:06:28,084
Yes! Yes!
118
00:06:28,189 --> 00:06:30,122
Come on, RTP!
119
00:06:30,225 --> 00:06:31,709
Ha-ha!
120
00:06:31,812 --> 00:06:34,057
Yes, my Lovemore-heads!
121
00:06:34,159 --> 00:06:37,612
I am so excited
to introduce to you
122
00:06:37,716 --> 00:06:41,547
the award-winning
author, Loretta Sage!
123
00:06:41,651 --> 00:06:44,204
Beth, I can't do this. I'm not
ready. Are you kidding me?
124
00:06:44,307 --> 00:06:46,033
Listen, I've got your
back. You got this.
125
00:06:46,137 --> 00:06:47,656
Go give the people
what they want.
126
00:06:47,759 --> 00:06:49,624
It's not me they want.
Get out there now!
127
00:06:52,177 --> 00:06:56,009
Hi. How are you? Nice
to see you. Thank you.
128
00:07:01,360 --> 00:07:03,086
Yep. Mount it.
129
00:07:05,536 --> 00:07:08,435
Mount it. Mount it. Okay.
130
00:07:08,540 --> 00:07:10,230
Find your center.
131
00:07:10,334 --> 00:07:13,889
And now, the moment
you've all been waiting for.
132
00:07:13,992 --> 00:07:15,754
The sexiest... All right!
133
00:07:15,856 --> 00:07:19,860
Most influential
hero of a generation.
134
00:07:19,964 --> 00:07:21,173
That's a bit strong.
135
00:07:21,276 --> 00:07:23,899
His 20th cover of an
Angela Lovemore novel.
136
00:07:24,487 --> 00:07:26,627
Dash McMahon!
137
00:07:32,079 --> 00:07:34,600
Oh, my God! Dash!
138
00:07:57,278 --> 00:07:59,625
Take a bow. I already
did mine. I did mine.
139
00:07:59,728 --> 00:08:02,697
Okay, come on.
One more. I got you.
140
00:08:17,711 --> 00:08:19,369
Did you guys rehearse
that? Oh, my God.
141
00:08:19,471 --> 00:08:23,303
I'm loving this chemistry
between you two, and I got to say,
142
00:08:23,406 --> 00:08:25,548
I love this book.
143
00:08:25,651 --> 00:08:26,771
Oh, thank you, Ray. Thank...
144
00:08:26,824 --> 00:08:28,170
Spoiler alert.
145
00:08:28,274 --> 00:08:29,552
A really bold choice
146
00:08:29,654 --> 00:08:31,588
to not have them go
into the tomb at the end.
147
00:08:31,692 --> 00:08:33,313
Talk about what
went into this one.
148
00:08:33,417 --> 00:08:36,869
I mean, this one's such a
special book for me personally.
149
00:08:36,972 --> 00:08:39,802
I... I don't know how to say
how much it means to me
150
00:08:39,907 --> 00:08:42,011
that Loretta, word
writer extraordinaire,
151
00:08:42,115 --> 00:08:45,153
has, you know, named
the book after me.
152
00:08:45,256 --> 00:08:47,086
The Lost City of Dash.
153
00:08:47,190 --> 00:08:48,293
The Lost City of D.
154
00:08:48,398 --> 00:08:50,642
Um, but that's not
what the D stands for.
155
00:08:50,745 --> 00:08:53,334
It's D for "dick,"
right? No dick, no.
156
00:08:53,437 --> 00:08:56,543
It's based on the name of an ancient
tribe, Dapocagihou-dysphem-ica.
157
00:08:56,648 --> 00:09:01,203
And, um, it was too difficult for the
European colonizers to pronounce,
158
00:09:01,307 --> 00:09:04,586
so, in true colonial fashion they
abbreviated it. No one cares about this.
159
00:09:04,690 --> 00:09:06,416
That's so interesting. Okay.
160
00:09:06,519 --> 00:09:08,831
How about we take some
questions from the audience?
161
00:09:08,936 --> 00:09:10,730
Right here, handsome! Yes.
162
00:09:10,833 --> 00:09:14,975
Dash, what's your favorite
romantic moment? Ooh.
163
00:09:15,080 --> 00:09:19,601
What I would really like to know is what
is Loretta's favorite romantic moment?
164
00:09:19,705 --> 00:09:21,638
Ooh, spicy.
165
00:09:21,741 --> 00:09:23,674
Oh, uh...
166
00:09:23,778 --> 00:09:26,470
Well, being a sapiosexual...
167
00:09:26,573 --> 00:09:28,783
Oh, is that when they do
the snakes around the...
168
00:09:28,886 --> 00:09:32,960
No. That's someone
who finds, uh, intellect
169
00:09:33,062 --> 00:09:36,963
or intelligence, uh,
very sexy, you know.
170
00:09:37,067 --> 00:09:38,172
Same.
171
00:09:38,654 --> 00:09:39,898
Really?
172
00:09:40,000 --> 00:09:42,417
Dash! Rip off your shirt!
173
00:09:42,520 --> 00:09:46,249
No, no, no. We're not gonna do that
today. We're here for Loretta's book.
174
00:09:46,351 --> 00:09:48,216
Do we have
questions for Loretta?
175
00:09:48,320 --> 00:09:53,496
Uh, yes, studious-looking young
lady? What would you like to ask me?
176
00:09:53,600 --> 00:09:55,638
Can you rip off Dash's shirt?
177
00:09:57,191 --> 00:10:00,020
No, no. We're not gonna
do this again. Sorry.
178
00:10:00,125 --> 00:10:02,644
Rip it off! Rip it off!
179
00:10:02,748 --> 00:10:05,061
Rip it off! Rip
it off! Rip it off!
180
00:10:05,163 --> 00:10:08,892
Of course. Of
course, yes. Can do.
181
00:10:09,859 --> 00:10:11,135
Is this happening?
182
00:10:11,239 --> 00:10:12,965
You don't have to do
this. Oh, we have to.
183
00:10:13,068 --> 00:10:15,139
We have to give the people
what they want. Yes, yes.
184
00:10:15,243 --> 00:10:17,970
We have to give the
people what they want, yes.
185
00:10:18,073 --> 00:10:21,317
Ladies and gentlemen, enjoy.
186
00:10:21,422 --> 00:10:26,081
Because The Lost City of
D is Dash's final adventure.
187
00:10:26,184 --> 00:10:28,255
If there even is a next book,
188
00:10:28,360 --> 00:10:31,466
it will open with Lovemore
receiving the tragic news
189
00:10:31,570 --> 00:10:33,917
of his untimely death.
190
00:10:34,020 --> 00:10:35,400
What?
191
00:10:35,504 --> 00:10:37,033
Shit. I'm sorry. My smartwatch
is stuck.Ow. Hold on.
192
00:10:37,057 --> 00:10:38,128
I know. Don't pull it.
193
00:10:38,231 --> 00:10:39,750
It's okay. Just be real still.
194
00:10:39,854 --> 00:10:41,349
No. That's pulling
it. You're pulling it.
195
00:10:41,373 --> 00:10:43,961
You're gonna rip my
wig off. No, you can't...
196
00:10:48,379 --> 00:10:49,379
Oh, my!
197
00:10:49,450 --> 00:10:50,865
Oh, my God. Is he okay?
198
00:10:50,969 --> 00:10:52,591
God, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.
199
00:10:52,695 --> 00:10:55,351
- I'm so sorry.
- You're a bad person.
200
00:10:55,456 --> 00:10:59,701
Stick around for the
costume contest at 6:00 p.m.
201
00:11:00,563 --> 00:11:02,807
"If there is another book"?
202
00:11:02,912 --> 00:11:07,812
I'm investing everything
we've got into this tour, okay?
203
00:11:07,917 --> 00:11:11,368
I just don't think I have another
Dash and Lovemore adventure in me.
204
00:11:11,471 --> 00:11:12,852
How does Dash die?
205
00:11:12,956 --> 00:11:15,096
Was it the snakes? No.
206
00:11:15,200 --> 00:11:17,547
Okay, so I have something
that I have to take care of.
207
00:11:17,649 --> 00:11:20,100
You guys have an interview
in the next suite in ten minutes.
208
00:11:20,205 --> 00:11:22,620
So can you please do me
a favor and be grown-ups
209
00:11:22,725 --> 00:11:24,243
and get yourselves
there on your own?
210
00:11:24,346 --> 00:11:25,554
Okay. Thank you so much.
211
00:11:26,349 --> 00:11:28,419
Does he die from
a staph infection?
212
00:11:30,386 --> 00:11:32,457
It is a staph
infection. I knew it.
213
00:11:33,631 --> 00:11:35,013
I-I... All right.
214
00:11:35,115 --> 00:11:38,187
Look, I get it if you need
a break or something,
215
00:11:38,292 --> 00:11:40,293
but you can't just
kill me, okay? Okay.
216
00:11:40,397 --> 00:11:44,780
I hate that I have to ask this, but
you do know you're not Dash, right?
217
00:11:44,884 --> 00:11:47,058
Dash is a character I made up.
218
00:11:47,163 --> 00:11:48,404
Dash?
219
00:11:51,235 --> 00:11:52,477
Thanks.
220
00:11:52,581 --> 00:11:53,789
Thank you.
221
00:11:56,274 --> 00:11:58,552
Loretta, it's this way.
No, I think it's this way.
222
00:11:58,657 --> 00:12:01,004
Can't you see that Dash
means so much to people?
223
00:12:01,107 --> 00:12:02,971
Means so much to you. Not to me.
224
00:12:03,075 --> 00:12:04,754
Well, yeah, to me,
but to other people too.
225
00:12:04,836 --> 00:12:07,803
What about Beth? You know
what? Beth is gonna be fine.
226
00:12:07,908 --> 00:12:11,739
She's gonna find plenty fresh,
young writers full of great ideas.
227
00:12:11,842 --> 00:12:13,845
You can transition gracefully
228
00:12:13,947 --> 00:12:16,294
into the shirt-on phase
of your modeling career,
229
00:12:16,399 --> 00:12:17,745
and I can be left alone.
230
00:12:17,849 --> 00:12:19,573
Everybody is happy.
231
00:12:19,677 --> 00:12:21,472
No, it's this way.
232
00:12:21,576 --> 00:12:23,485
Beth says you don't even
leave the house anymore.
233
00:12:23,509 --> 00:12:25,546
I don't feel like
that's very happy.
234
00:12:25,649 --> 00:12:28,628
You should be going out in the world,
filling yourself up on new experiences.
235
00:12:28,652 --> 00:12:30,895
I'm already filled up.
I'm full. I'm fully satiated.
236
00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:34,347
Why would you want to be stuck at
home alone when you could see the world?
237
00:12:34,451 --> 00:12:35,970
You could be visiting
ancient Greece.
238
00:12:36,073 --> 00:12:38,972
Okay. How could I
visit ancient Greece?
239
00:12:39,076 --> 00:12:41,113
I get it. Because
you're afraid of flying.
240
00:12:41,216 --> 00:12:44,634
No. Because ancient
Greece is in the past.
241
00:12:44,736 --> 00:12:46,290
Just like Dash.
242
00:12:46,394 --> 00:12:49,604
Okay. You want to know who
else is stuck in the past? You are.
243
00:12:49,707 --> 00:12:52,469
You're so afraid of life hurting
you again that you've stopped living.
244
00:12:52,572 --> 00:12:54,885
You're like a human mummy.
245
00:12:56,370 --> 00:12:58,405
I didn't, um...
246
00:12:59,682 --> 00:13:00,856
Oh.
247
00:13:00,961 --> 00:13:03,100
Mummies are human.
248
00:13:12,385 --> 00:13:14,352
Stupid... Oh, crap.
249
00:13:15,423 --> 00:13:17,390
I'm so sorry. I-I
will clean this up.
250
00:13:17,494 --> 00:13:19,980
I am not a litterer,
I-I assure you that.
251
00:13:20,082 --> 00:13:23,568
Do you, um... Do you think you
could, uh, call a car for me, please?
252
00:13:23,673 --> 00:13:25,192
Thank you. Thank you.
253
00:13:27,952 --> 00:13:29,126
Bring the car around.
254
00:13:29,230 --> 00:13:30,679
God, is that someone's retainer?
255
00:13:30,783 --> 00:13:33,130
I've never said the right
thing one time around her.
256
00:13:33,234 --> 00:13:35,167
I get nervous because
she opens her mouth,
257
00:13:35,270 --> 00:13:39,722
and just an encyclopedia of beautifulness
comes out, and I just never say...
258
00:13:39,826 --> 00:13:41,139
You know she's
trying to kill me?
259
00:13:41,241 --> 00:13:43,417
I just need those tomatoes.
260
00:13:43,519 --> 00:13:45,868
You're right. No, you're right.
261
00:13:45,971 --> 00:13:47,455
I should apologize.
Thank you, man.
262
00:13:47,558 --> 00:13:49,802
I appreciate that very,
very much. You're welcome.
263
00:13:59,951 --> 00:14:02,229
Uh, Loretta Sage. Yeah.
264
00:14:07,441 --> 00:14:08,544
Uh...
265
00:14:09,856 --> 00:14:11,065
Hiya.
266
00:14:11,168 --> 00:14:12,653
Uh, I did not order an UberPool.
267
00:14:12,755 --> 00:14:15,725
Someone wants to meet
you. We'll have you right back.
268
00:14:15,827 --> 00:14:17,001
Um...
269
00:14:20,488 --> 00:14:21,764
Loretta!
270
00:14:21,869 --> 00:14:23,388
Loretta! Loretta?
271
00:14:26,287 --> 00:14:28,150
Uh, Loretta?
272
00:14:28,254 --> 00:14:30,842
Did you say "Loretta"? Yeah.
273
00:14:30,947 --> 00:14:32,154
Follow that SUV, man.No.
274
00:14:32,259 --> 00:14:34,019
Come on, please! No, no, no.
275
00:14:34,123 --> 00:14:37,195
I'm not helping any more handsome
strangers. Fool me once. Mm-mmm.
276
00:14:37,298 --> 00:14:40,611
What is this, Taken?
Am I "tooken"?
277
00:14:40,715 --> 00:14:42,130
Am I sold already?
278
00:14:42,234 --> 00:14:45,236
Am I... Am I sold to him?
279
00:14:45,341 --> 00:14:49,000
Ow. Stop. Oh, no.
Did this feel creepy?
280
00:14:49,102 --> 00:14:51,725
I said don't make
it creepy, guys.
281
00:14:51,830 --> 00:14:53,658
I'm so sorry about the setting.
282
00:14:53,763 --> 00:14:56,351
I just flew in. I was in a
real panic to meet you.
283
00:14:56,455 --> 00:14:58,525
I didn't have time to
dress the place up much.
284
00:14:58,629 --> 00:15:01,426
I read you love cheese,
so I just got them all.
285
00:15:01,528 --> 00:15:05,601
Are you the one who's been
emailing me for photos of my feet?
286
00:15:05,706 --> 00:15:07,570
No. Um...
287
00:15:07,673 --> 00:15:11,988
And I promise what I'm about to show
you is gonna make you very happy.
288
00:15:12,746 --> 00:15:13,956
But first, a little bit
289
00:15:14,058 --> 00:15:17,269
about the mysterious
rogue you see before you.
290
00:15:17,373 --> 00:15:19,650
Uh, my name is Abigail Fairfax.
291
00:15:19,754 --> 00:15:22,687
Abigail? It's a gender-neutral
name, like Leslie or Beverly.
292
00:15:22,792 --> 00:15:26,485
Yes, but you're Abigail Fairfax
of the media-mogul Fairfaxes?
293
00:15:27,417 --> 00:15:30,626
Didn't you just take
over your company or...
294
00:15:30,730 --> 00:15:34,665
No, that was my brother, actually.
That was Leslie. We're all very proud.
295
00:15:34,769 --> 00:15:37,875
Ah. Yes, I should say so,
at such a young age to...
296
00:15:37,980 --> 00:15:39,912
Some might even say too young.
297
00:15:40,015 --> 00:15:42,743
But that world never
really interested me.
298
00:15:42,846 --> 00:15:45,434
My passions, as you may know,
299
00:15:45,538 --> 00:15:48,644
lie in the hidden
things in the world,
300
00:15:48,749 --> 00:15:51,371
things which defy possession.
301
00:15:51,475 --> 00:15:54,513
Um, some might
call me a collector.
302
00:15:54,616 --> 00:15:58,309
But there is one
obsession in particular
303
00:15:58,413 --> 00:16:00,519
that has held me captive.
304
00:16:01,692 --> 00:16:03,177
The Crown of Fire
305
00:16:03,280 --> 00:16:05,662
and its cascading red diamonds.
306
00:16:05,765 --> 00:16:09,424
Is this a... Is this a
hidden-camera thing?
307
00:16:09,528 --> 00:16:13,118
So imagine my surprise
when, in your new book,
308
00:16:13,221 --> 00:16:16,500
amidst the pages
of coital reverie,
309
00:16:16,604 --> 00:16:17,432
was something...
310
00:16:17,536 --> 00:16:19,606
Oh, God... quite magnificent.
311
00:16:21,471 --> 00:16:24,025
I get it. I get it. I
so get it right now.
312
00:16:24,129 --> 00:16:25,441
Oh, my gosh.
313
00:16:25,543 --> 00:16:27,719
I literally thought you
guys kidnapped me.
314
00:16:27,822 --> 00:16:30,307
I mean, this is marketing,
right? Beth set this up?
315
00:16:30,411 --> 00:16:33,311
This was so good, you
guys. This was amazing.
316
00:16:33,413 --> 00:16:36,658
You, with your gun
and your mustache
317
00:16:36,761 --> 00:16:39,730
and your, "You'd better
get in there" and you know...
318
00:16:40,938 --> 00:16:42,457
Oh, my God.
319
00:16:42,561 --> 00:16:46,323
You, with the G.I.
Joe tone-on-tone outfit.
320
00:16:46,427 --> 00:16:51,432
Your fictional archaeologist was making
real translations of a dead language.
321
00:16:51,536 --> 00:16:54,434
Mm-hmm. Something nobody
else has been able to do.
322
00:16:54,538 --> 00:16:56,955
Well, nobody
else had ever tried.
323
00:16:57,058 --> 00:16:58,888
Is that right? Am I
saying the right thing?
324
00:16:58,990 --> 00:17:00,648
Except you, right?
325
00:17:00,751 --> 00:17:02,719
Except me!
326
00:17:02,822 --> 00:17:04,548
Yes. See, it turns out
327
00:17:04,652 --> 00:17:07,965
Loretta Sage was once a young
college girl doing her dissertation
328
00:17:08,069 --> 00:17:10,933
on the dead language of
the D with her future husband,
329
00:17:11,038 --> 00:17:14,144
dreaming of finding Kalaman's
tomb and the Crown of Fire.
330
00:17:14,248 --> 00:17:17,355
I was sorry to read you gave
up your search after he died.
331
00:17:17,458 --> 00:17:19,080
But what that means is,
332
00:17:20,357 --> 00:17:22,256
you're all I have left.
333
00:17:22,359 --> 00:17:25,535
All-All you have
left for... what?
334
00:17:25,638 --> 00:17:26,673
Hmm.
335
00:17:28,469 --> 00:17:29,711
Oh.
336
00:17:29,815 --> 00:17:31,195
Here we go.
337
00:17:45,314 --> 00:17:47,038
What is this?
338
00:17:47,143 --> 00:17:50,836
I believe it is describing the
exact location of Kalaman's tomb,
339
00:17:50,940 --> 00:17:54,392
in which Taha and her
priceless headdress are buried.
340
00:17:54,494 --> 00:17:56,634
Well, if this were authentic,
341
00:17:56,739 --> 00:18:02,088
you would still have
to uncover an entire city
342
00:18:02,192 --> 00:18:05,230
that nobody has
been able to find.
343
00:18:05,334 --> 00:18:06,990
I found it.
344
00:18:07,094 --> 00:18:10,234
On a tiny, forgotten island in
the Atlantic called Isla Hundida.
345
00:18:10,338 --> 00:18:13,894
What I have not been able to
find is Kalaman's final resting place.
346
00:18:13,997 --> 00:18:18,278
This piece of parchment is the
only clue we found among the ruins.
347
00:18:18,381 --> 00:18:21,521
I need someone who can
decipher these symbols.
348
00:18:22,144 --> 00:18:23,696
I need you.
349
00:18:24,836 --> 00:18:26,286
Well... Miss Sage,
350
00:18:26,388 --> 00:18:29,771
surely this isn't how you
want your story to end.
351
00:18:29,875 --> 00:18:32,463
We both had our dreams
crushed by bad luck,
352
00:18:32,567 --> 00:18:34,810
or in my case, an
arse-kissing little brother,
353
00:18:34,914 --> 00:18:38,020
but this is our chance
to show them all.
354
00:18:38,125 --> 00:18:39,712
Come with me... to the island.
355
00:18:39,816 --> 00:18:44,959
Translate these symbols and
help me find the Crown of Fire.
356
00:18:45,063 --> 00:18:47,685
You can name your price.
357
00:18:50,309 --> 00:18:53,140
I must respectfully decline.
358
00:18:58,007 --> 00:18:59,214
Well...
359
00:19:00,836 --> 00:19:02,805
I can't say I'm
not disappointed.
360
00:19:03,701 --> 00:19:06,188
But I understand how you feel.
361
00:19:09,536 --> 00:19:11,296
Will you at least let
us give you a ride?
362
00:19:11,400 --> 00:19:15,680
Oh, no, thank you. I'll call
for my own car, and I'll just...
363
00:19:37,252 --> 00:19:41,015
I don't feel like you're listening
to me. This is urgent, and we...
364
00:19:41,118 --> 00:19:44,052
Okay, so the police are saying
that they put out an APB...
365
00:19:44,155 --> 00:19:45,813
APB... on an SUV,
366
00:19:45,916 --> 00:19:48,160
and there's this 24-hour
rule... Why is there a rule?
367
00:19:48,263 --> 00:19:50,759
And they won't do anything until...
What about the FBI or the CIA?
368
00:19:50,784 --> 00:19:52,830
- They said to call the police.
- I'm sure Loretta's fine.
369
00:19:52,855 --> 00:19:55,443
When I was in college, my
friend Nicki went missing.
370
00:19:55,547 --> 00:19:57,169
Everyone was,
like, freaking out.
371
00:19:57,272 --> 00:19:59,619
But then she
was just in her car.
372
00:19:59,723 --> 00:20:02,898
She was dead, but we
found her. She wasn't gone.
373
00:20:03,002 --> 00:20:07,352
Um, what about...
Maybe we could get a PI
374
00:20:07,455 --> 00:20:09,974
or, like, you know,
private security or...
375
00:20:10,078 --> 00:20:11,977
What about an extraction
team, like the movie?
376
00:20:12,080 --> 00:20:14,566
Yes! But who does that?
The ex-military, right?
377
00:20:14,670 --> 00:20:17,259
Oh, yeah. I think I actually have
somebody that could help us.
378
00:20:17,362 --> 00:20:20,330
- Oh.
- I did this meditation retreat,
379
00:20:20,433 --> 00:20:22,505
and there was this
trainer guy there.
380
00:20:22,608 --> 00:20:24,126
You should see
this guy meditate.
381
00:20:24,230 --> 00:20:25,645
But he's ex-Navy SEAL.
382
00:20:25,750 --> 00:20:29,547
He... He's a special ops
trainer. What was his name?
383
00:20:30,237 --> 00:20:31,375
Yeah. Jack Trainer.
384
00:20:31,480 --> 00:20:33,102
So he's a trainer
named Jack Trainer?
385
00:20:33,204 --> 00:20:35,460
That's how I have everybody in
my phone. See, "Janice Mom."
386
00:20:35,483 --> 00:20:36,932
"Larry Doorknob."
"Stacy Butt Stuff."
387
00:20:37,037 --> 00:20:39,729
Look, this is what this
guy does. He finds people.
388
00:20:39,833 --> 00:20:42,111
If there's anybody that
can help us, it's him.
389
00:20:49,048 --> 00:20:51,568
Jack Trainer. Oh, so his
name is actually Jack Trainer.
390
00:20:51,672 --> 00:20:55,573
Hi, uh, this is Alan from
"Touching Your Inner Self."
391
00:20:57,057 --> 00:20:58,885
The meditation retreat?
392
00:21:00,612 --> 00:21:03,683
Anyway, uh, okay. Our friend
Loretta has been kidnapped,
393
00:21:03,788 --> 00:21:05,237
and no one's helping us.
394
00:21:05,340 --> 00:21:06,825
How long she been missing?
395
00:21:06,929 --> 00:21:08,171
Maybe two hours now.
396
00:21:08,275 --> 00:21:09,586
Who is that?
397
00:21:09,690 --> 00:21:13,729
Um, this is B... This
is Beth. I'm Beth.
398
00:21:13,832 --> 00:21:16,248
And Allison is on too, sir.
399
00:21:16,352 --> 00:21:18,560
Did she have any
Wi-Fi-enabled devices?
400
00:21:18,664 --> 00:21:21,564
- She's got her phone, right?
- No, I have her phone.
401
00:21:21,667 --> 00:21:24,290
Oh! She has a smartwatch.
It ripped my wig off.
402
00:21:24,394 --> 00:21:27,328
What was that scenario?
Never mind. Open the phone.
403
00:21:27,432 --> 00:21:28,984
Go to the smartwatch
app. All right.
404
00:21:29,088 --> 00:21:31,402
Then hit "Find My Smartwatch."
405
00:21:31,505 --> 00:21:34,439
Oh, my... That is so
good. That's why we called.
406
00:21:34,542 --> 00:21:36,992
"Anticipate the difficult
by managing the easy."
407
00:21:37,096 --> 00:21:40,789
Is that Oprah or Deepak?
Laozi fromTao-te Ching.
408
00:21:40,894 --> 00:21:42,102
Oh, my God.
409
00:21:42,204 --> 00:21:43,896
It's in the Atlantic.
410
00:21:44,000 --> 00:21:46,347
She's on a plane?
How can you tell that?
411
00:21:46,451 --> 00:21:48,625
'Cause she can't swim that fast.
412
00:21:48,729 --> 00:21:50,179
Doesn't sound like
a ransom scenario.
413
00:21:50,281 --> 00:21:52,905
My guess is blood sport,
Hunger Games type situation.
414
00:21:53,009 --> 00:21:55,839
Possibly some coke-fueled
dark web scavenger hunt.
415
00:21:55,942 --> 00:21:57,980
Real clown shit. We'll
have to move fast.
416
00:21:58,083 --> 00:22:01,017
- How do we pay you?
- Cryptocurrency. Cash App.
417
00:22:01,121 --> 00:22:04,606
I'll have her back within 48
hours or your next rescue is free.
418
00:22:04,711 --> 00:22:06,194
How many people
need a next rescue?
419
00:22:06,298 --> 00:22:07,817
More than you'd think.
420
00:22:07,921 --> 00:22:09,829
- I'm gonna need that phone.
- I'll bring it to you.
421
00:22:09,854 --> 00:22:12,615
Let me know where she
lands. I'll meet you there, Alan.
422
00:22:27,423 --> 00:22:28,665
Hello.
423
00:22:33,256 --> 00:22:34,395
Where am I?
424
00:22:34,499 --> 00:22:36,500
Um, you're on my plane.
425
00:22:36,605 --> 00:22:37,813
It's nice, isn't it? Hmm?
426
00:22:37,915 --> 00:22:39,746
The seats are made
of mama llama leather.
427
00:22:39,848 --> 00:22:42,955
Well, I'm getting
off your plane.
428
00:22:43,058 --> 00:22:44,440
Unchain me!
429
00:22:44,544 --> 00:22:46,096
That's your seat belt.
430
00:22:46,683 --> 00:22:48,548
Did you chloroform me?
431
00:22:48,651 --> 00:22:50,859
People actually do that?
432
00:22:53,241 --> 00:22:55,900
Well, you know, it's
a classic for a reason.
433
00:22:56,589 --> 00:22:57,833
My body feels drunk.
434
00:22:57,935 --> 00:22:59,835
It'll wear off in
a bit. I am sorry.
435
00:22:59,938 --> 00:23:02,354
I just couldn't wait around
for you to change your mind.
436
00:23:02,458 --> 00:23:04,909
Stop playing jelly.
Time is not on our side.
437
00:23:05,011 --> 00:23:07,739
You see, the volcano
we're excavating around
438
00:23:07,843 --> 00:23:09,809
has developed a bad
case of indigestion.
439
00:23:09,913 --> 00:23:11,778
I'm rather worried
that when it blows,
440
00:23:11,881 --> 00:23:14,031
everything that's left of the
Lost City will be destroyed.
441
00:23:14,056 --> 00:23:15,953
Oh, my God. My legs don't work.
442
00:23:16,057 --> 00:23:21,477
So, this is our last chance to
find both the tomb and the crown.
443
00:23:21,580 --> 00:23:23,616
Oh, God. Oh!
444
00:23:23,721 --> 00:23:25,999
Don't worry. That's
just our final descent.
445
00:23:26,102 --> 00:23:32,107
But it is the beginning of the
greatest adventure of your life.
446
00:24:40,729 --> 00:24:42,799
Welcome to the Lost City.
447
00:24:52,430 --> 00:24:53,845
How did you find it?
448
00:24:53,949 --> 00:24:56,088
So, the city was
built on a lava dome.
449
00:24:56,192 --> 00:24:58,884
As the volcano became
active, the dome filled with lava,
450
00:24:58,988 --> 00:25:01,612
and sunken things
rose to the surface.
451
00:25:01,714 --> 00:25:03,614
The D exposed itself.
452
00:25:03,717 --> 00:25:06,755
- The entire city?
- No, no. Just the tip.
453
00:25:06,857 --> 00:25:10,067
As soon as I heard rumors of the
ruins, I flew over and bought the place.
454
00:25:10,172 --> 00:25:13,451
The site? No. The
island. The southern half.
455
00:25:13,555 --> 00:25:15,902
I got a good deal 'cause
this is where the lava flows.
456
00:25:16,005 --> 00:25:18,249
We've been excavating
for a year now.
457
00:25:19,318 --> 00:25:21,873
One doesn't kidnap a
romance novelist on day one.
458
00:25:21,977 --> 00:25:24,012
Ah, yes, as the saying goes.
459
00:25:24,116 --> 00:25:27,119
Rafi doesn't like
it. Do you, Rafi?
460
00:25:27,222 --> 00:25:30,398
He says we're
disrespecting his heritage.
461
00:25:30,501 --> 00:25:33,747
But not a lot of other job options
on the island, are there, Rafi?
462
00:25:33,851 --> 00:25:35,922
Beggars can't be choosers.
463
00:25:45,759 --> 00:25:47,588
No more charcuterie, I take it.
464
00:25:47,692 --> 00:25:49,798
Mmm. Please. I'm not a monster.
465
00:25:49,901 --> 00:25:51,730
Whatever you need, just shout.
466
00:25:53,249 --> 00:25:58,115
Uh, leave one hand free.
She has some translating to do.
467
00:25:59,324 --> 00:26:00,567
And then what?
468
00:26:00,671 --> 00:26:03,190
Loretta, I really wish
you would try and see
469
00:26:03,294 --> 00:26:05,433
what an exciting
opportunity this is for us.
470
00:26:05,537 --> 00:26:09,438
I believe this text describes
the exact location of the tomb.
471
00:26:09,540 --> 00:26:12,060
It's a logographic system.
472
00:26:12,820 --> 00:26:15,409
Like cuneiform or hieroglyphics.
473
00:26:15,512 --> 00:26:19,309
Now, if you have other documents
that possibly I can compare...
474
00:26:19,413 --> 00:26:20,691
Yeah, no luck there.
475
00:26:20,794 --> 00:26:23,589
We found some scratching
at a nearby waterfall,
476
00:26:23,693 --> 00:26:24,590
but it was useless.
477
00:26:24,694 --> 00:26:26,248
Just pictures of women.
478
00:26:26,351 --> 00:26:30,942
Look, I, too, wish your dear
old dead archaeologist husband
479
00:26:31,046 --> 00:26:33,772
was here to help,
but he's not, so,
480
00:26:33,875 --> 00:26:36,982
time to shine, Loretta,
sex-book writer.
481
00:26:38,397 --> 00:26:40,124
They will come for me.
482
00:26:40,711 --> 00:26:42,435
Who, exactly?
483
00:26:42,539 --> 00:26:44,266
Your... Your many cats?
484
00:26:44,368 --> 00:26:46,163
Oh, I don't have cats.
485
00:26:46,750 --> 00:26:48,579
Somehow even more sad.
486
00:26:48,683 --> 00:26:51,653
I have a hamster, asshole!
487
00:26:51,756 --> 00:26:53,413
You have a hamster's asshole?
488
00:26:53,516 --> 00:26:57,278
No, there was a... there was
a comma between... Forget it.
489
00:26:57,382 --> 00:27:00,799
I bet your brother never
had to kidnap anyone!
490
00:27:51,539 --> 00:27:53,127
Good to see you, man.
491
00:27:53,230 --> 00:27:54,854
Phone.Right.
492
00:28:06,728 --> 00:28:07,970
What?
493
00:28:08,074 --> 00:28:10,662
Yeah, I was thinking
that I could, you know,
494
00:28:10,766 --> 00:28:12,354
maybe just sort
of come with you.
495
00:28:12,457 --> 00:28:14,218
Why? To help.
496
00:28:14,320 --> 00:28:18,462
I know CPR. I know some
light karate. CrossFit certified.
497
00:28:18,567 --> 00:28:20,086
Okay, okay, listen, listen!
498
00:28:20,949 --> 00:28:22,640
I just... It's my fault.
499
00:28:22,743 --> 00:28:24,848
Not the kidnapping and stuff,
500
00:28:24,952 --> 00:28:28,025
but, like, I said some really
mean stuff to her, and I regret it,
501
00:28:28,127 --> 00:28:29,750
and I just need to take it back.
502
00:28:29,854 --> 00:28:31,234
I called her a human mummy.
503
00:28:32,580 --> 00:28:33,996
Mummies are human.
504
00:28:34,652 --> 00:28:37,067
I'm aware of that now, yes.
505
00:28:37,172 --> 00:28:40,209
That is true.
506
00:28:40,313 --> 00:28:41,314
Please.
507
00:28:42,590 --> 00:28:45,282
All right, Alan, I can't
be responsible for you.
508
00:28:46,250 --> 00:28:47,250
Okay. Yeah.
509
00:28:47,354 --> 00:28:50,323
I need you to stay
in the car.Yeah.
510
00:28:50,425 --> 00:28:52,531
In the car. In the car.
511
00:28:52,634 --> 00:28:55,086
The whole time. The whole time?
512
00:28:55,190 --> 00:28:56,432
Whole time.
513
00:28:56,536 --> 00:28:57,778
Mm-hmm.
514
00:28:59,538 --> 00:29:00,816
Yes!
515
00:29:07,753 --> 00:29:09,099
This is me.
516
00:29:09,998 --> 00:29:12,276
Really? Is this what
the SEAL teams use?
517
00:29:12,378 --> 00:29:15,037
"Only a fool chooses
a horse by its color."
518
00:29:15,141 --> 00:29:17,936
Right, right. The Tao-te Ching?
519
00:29:18,039 --> 00:29:21,181
No, it was on the sign back
there at the rental place.
520
00:29:29,707 --> 00:29:30,914
Thank you.
521
00:30:03,740 --> 00:30:05,191
What? What?
522
00:30:07,433 --> 00:30:09,435
I was hoping to
invite you to breakfast,
523
00:30:09,539 --> 00:30:12,198
but it looks like you
still have work to do.
524
00:30:13,163 --> 00:30:14,924
Uh, wait, wait, wait.
525
00:30:15,028 --> 00:30:16,547
Wait. Wait, wait, wait.
526
00:30:16,650 --> 00:30:18,652
I believe this says
527
00:30:18,756 --> 00:30:20,758
"rest" or "resting."
528
00:30:20,862 --> 00:30:23,760
So it would be, "Kalaman
and his treasure..."
529
00:30:23,865 --> 00:30:28,352
And then there are some missing
pieces, and then "rest," "resting,"
530
00:30:28,454 --> 00:30:31,873
and something
about "tears," so...
531
00:30:33,666 --> 00:30:34,667
Resting where?
532
00:30:34,771 --> 00:30:35,980
Hmm? Oh!
533
00:30:36,084 --> 00:30:38,845
Didn't say. It doesn't say.
534
00:30:40,191 --> 00:30:43,193
Miss Sage, I need
you to do better.
535
00:30:43,298 --> 00:30:46,749
Then next time maybe don't
kidnap a romance novelist, hmm?
536
00:30:46,853 --> 00:30:49,061
My God, this
shouldn't be this hard!
537
00:30:49,165 --> 00:30:51,098
It is not some pauper's
grave we're looking for.
538
00:30:51,201 --> 00:30:53,480
It is a monument to a great man!
539
00:30:53,584 --> 00:30:55,517
King Kalaman was
ambitious, he was powerful,
540
00:30:55,619 --> 00:30:58,070
he was the first man to
build a city in the Atlantic.
541
00:30:58,174 --> 00:31:00,832
The eyes of his subjects
would have turned to him.
542
00:31:00,935 --> 00:31:04,181
He would have had a
pyramid, a ziggurat, a tower
543
00:31:04,284 --> 00:31:06,251
to hold his Crown of Fire.
544
00:31:06,355 --> 00:31:09,255
All I need to
know is where it is.
545
00:31:09,357 --> 00:31:12,603
I don't know if you recall,
but you only said translate it.
546
00:31:12,705 --> 00:31:14,846
I-I translated it.
547
00:31:15,640 --> 00:31:17,228
Translate it again.
548
00:31:22,854 --> 00:31:25,892
One day, we're
gonna laugh about this.
549
00:31:25,996 --> 00:31:28,135
Such an adventure we're having.
550
00:31:31,241 --> 00:31:35,590
I should go with you, just
for backup and awesomeness.
551
00:31:36,557 --> 00:31:38,214
This is pretty awesome.
552
00:31:38,317 --> 00:31:40,976
You got nature, the radio.
553
00:31:42,115 --> 00:31:45,739
Yeah, you're right, but it's
very, very important to me
554
00:31:45,843 --> 00:31:47,707
that she knows that
I came to rescue her.
555
00:31:47,809 --> 00:31:49,501
Why? Do you like this woman?
556
00:31:50,502 --> 00:31:52,711
No, I just brought
snacks and stuff.
557
00:31:52,815 --> 00:31:54,990
And she gets a little
grumpy when she's hungry.
558
00:31:55,094 --> 00:31:58,510
Blood pressure drops. And I get that
because I'm a five-meal-a-day kind of guy.
559
00:31:58,614 --> 00:32:01,410
Do you keto, by the way?
You look like you keto.
560
00:32:01,513 --> 00:32:03,204
No.No. Yeah.
561
00:32:03,308 --> 00:32:05,035
You don't need it.
562
00:32:05,137 --> 00:32:06,622
What is it?
563
00:32:06,726 --> 00:32:10,316
I just want her to think of me
as more than a cover model.
564
00:32:10,419 --> 00:32:14,664
But, Alan, you are so much
more. You're my lookout.
565
00:32:14,768 --> 00:32:18,116
Okay, can I at least do the
part where I put her in the car
566
00:32:18,220 --> 00:32:21,948
and I just go, "Shh.
You're safe now"?
567
00:32:23,018 --> 00:32:25,019
Sure, champ. She'll love that.
568
00:32:25,124 --> 00:32:26,988
Oh, you're just
going? Going to start?
569
00:32:27,090 --> 00:32:29,507
You're starting the
mission now? Okay.
570
00:32:53,703 --> 00:32:55,913
Oh!
571
00:33:04,955 --> 00:33:06,441
Go to sleep.
572
00:33:35,262 --> 00:33:36,402
Alan. What?
573
00:33:36,505 --> 00:33:38,266
This is a breach of trust, Alan.
574
00:33:38,368 --> 00:33:39,922
I can help. Let me help.
575
00:33:43,305 --> 00:33:45,962
Stay close. Stay alive.
576
00:33:50,829 --> 00:33:52,073
Hey.
577
00:33:57,008 --> 00:33:58,527
Go to sleep.
578
00:34:00,909 --> 00:34:05,016
I got his head. What do I do with his
head? I'm just gonna set him down.
579
00:34:11,161 --> 00:34:12,369
No.
580
00:34:12,954 --> 00:34:14,128
Hey, hey, no!
581
00:34:14,233 --> 00:34:15,440
No, no, no!
582
00:34:23,000 --> 00:34:24,829
Ooh, yeah! Ooh.
583
00:34:24,932 --> 00:34:25,932
Ow.
584
00:34:26,003 --> 00:34:27,556
Teamwork, yeah!
585
00:34:27,659 --> 00:34:30,938
Great effort, Alan, but that
man was already unconscious.
586
00:34:31,041 --> 00:34:32,733
I was already wound up.
587
00:34:33,666 --> 00:34:36,427
Just don't do it when I'm...
588
00:34:39,498 --> 00:34:40,775
Hi.
589
00:34:43,019 --> 00:34:44,746
Oh!
590
00:34:46,023 --> 00:34:47,644
On your seven!
591
00:34:52,581 --> 00:34:53,650
Oh!
592
00:34:58,449 --> 00:35:00,382
Trainer, he's not asleep!
593
00:35:00,485 --> 00:35:02,659
Stay... Stay down. Stay down.
594
00:35:05,318 --> 00:35:07,838
- You're doing great.
- Thanks.
595
00:35:07,940 --> 00:35:09,460
Where you going?
596
00:35:17,606 --> 00:35:19,090
Loretta Sage?
597
00:35:19,574 --> 00:35:20,367
Yes.
598
00:35:20,471 --> 00:35:22,335
I'm getting you out of here.
599
00:35:23,371 --> 00:35:26,407
Why are you so handsome?
My dad was a weatherman.
600
00:35:28,617 --> 00:35:29,445
A-Alan?
601
00:35:29,548 --> 00:35:31,585
Yeah. What are you doing here?
602
00:35:31,688 --> 00:35:34,485
- Uh, irregardless, I'm here to save you.
- That's not...
603
00:35:34,588 --> 00:35:36,831
- I think he meant "regardless."
- Yes.
604
00:35:38,248 --> 00:35:42,217
Ooh, uh, does she need saving in
there, Trainer? I think she's fine there.
605
00:35:42,320 --> 00:35:45,496
No, no, leave it. Don't take
their stuff. They'll come after us.
606
00:35:48,153 --> 00:35:49,706
Alan, why do you
keep doing that?
607
00:35:49,811 --> 00:35:51,777
Why do you keep doing
that? I had that one.
608
00:35:51,882 --> 00:35:54,402
It's just getting mean
now. It's unnecessary.
609
00:35:54,505 --> 00:35:56,266
I'm sorry. I just
wanted to get one in.
610
00:35:56,369 --> 00:35:59,440
- Excuse me. Would it be possible to remove me from the chair?
- No time.
611
00:35:59,545 --> 00:36:01,960
- No time?
- There's been so much chitchat.
612
00:36:02,063 --> 00:36:03,376
We should definitely go.
613
00:36:03,480 --> 00:36:05,101
Let's go! Let's go!
614
00:36:30,954 --> 00:36:32,094
Why are things exploding?
615
00:36:39,757 --> 00:36:40,793
I got...
616
00:36:42,449 --> 00:36:43,657
Okay.
617
00:36:44,554 --> 00:36:45,831
Shh...
618
00:36:45,936 --> 00:36:47,833
Shh. You're safe now.
619
00:36:47,938 --> 00:36:49,077
You're...
620
00:36:49,179 --> 00:36:51,320
How... How are you so calm?
621
00:36:51,423 --> 00:36:53,909
That was my... That
was my line. Here.
622
00:36:56,048 --> 00:36:57,947
What? Is that Reiki?
623
00:36:58,050 --> 00:37:00,501
Are you healing me? I think so.
624
00:37:00,606 --> 00:37:03,815
- Ah.
- As Laozi says, "To the mind that is still..."
625
00:37:03,918 --> 00:37:06,818
"the whole universe surrenders."
Hey, yeah, I know some...
626
00:37:06,922 --> 00:37:09,717
I know some, um, quotes that
could be good for this moment.
627
00:37:09,822 --> 00:37:11,547
In omnia paratus.
628
00:37:12,445 --> 00:37:14,309
"Ready for anything."
629
00:37:14,413 --> 00:37:17,070
Maybe we shouldn't be just
staring lovingly into each other's eyes
630
00:37:17,173 --> 00:37:20,626
like you're gonna fall
in love like I'm not here.
631
00:37:21,177 --> 00:37:22,177
Who are you?
632
00:37:22,248 --> 00:37:24,974
Just a guy trying to do his job.
633
00:37:25,077 --> 00:37:27,873
And right now, that job
is to get this lovely lady...
634
00:37:28,702 --> 00:37:30,221
Oh! Oh.
635
00:37:30,324 --> 00:37:32,222
Oh, God. Okay.
636
00:37:33,396 --> 00:37:35,606
No. What is happening?
637
00:37:39,057 --> 00:37:41,025
Okay. What do we do?
638
00:37:41,128 --> 00:37:43,233
We need to do... I can't see.
639
00:37:43,338 --> 00:37:44,753
I don't like it!
640
00:37:44,856 --> 00:37:46,340
Here. Here!
641
00:37:46,445 --> 00:37:48,894
- Why would you throw a gun?
- Seriously?
642
00:37:50,275 --> 00:37:53,106
Get me out of the chair. I
can't. We don't have time.
643
00:37:56,661 --> 00:37:58,733
Gotta squeeze! You got
to do a Kegel or something!
644
00:37:58,835 --> 00:38:01,217
- Kegel it!
- What do you think a Kegel is?
645
00:38:01,322 --> 00:38:03,702
I'm not in it, not
in! Still not in!
646
00:38:03,806 --> 00:38:06,188
- You got to go in more.
- Stop. Stop. Stop it!
647
00:38:06,291 --> 00:38:08,293
Oh, oh, oh!
648
00:38:08,398 --> 00:38:11,918
Oh, God. Get in the car, get in
the car! Start the car! Start the car!
649
00:38:12,021 --> 00:38:13,298
- Go, go.
- Move your leg.
650
00:38:13,402 --> 00:38:15,715
Which one? Both
of them! Move them!
651
00:38:19,478 --> 00:38:21,445
Forward, forward! Okay. Okay.
652
00:38:21,548 --> 00:38:25,862
- I'm going! I'm going! Okay!
- Drive!
653
00:38:27,001 --> 00:38:30,626
Shh. You're safe now. Shh.
654
00:38:32,282 --> 00:38:33,664
Ow.
655
00:38:33,768 --> 00:38:35,907
Shh. You're safe now.
No, I'm not. Not safe.
656
00:38:36,010 --> 00:38:37,771
Oh, no, am I bleeding?
657
00:38:37,875 --> 00:38:40,878
- I don't think that's yours.
- Oh, no, that's a lot of blood.
658
00:38:42,190 --> 00:38:44,018
Cheese and rice!
659
00:38:44,123 --> 00:38:45,606
Are those his brains? What?
660
00:38:45,710 --> 00:38:47,677
I think his brains
are on my face!
661
00:38:47,782 --> 00:38:51,405
Definitely his brains are in my
mouth. I can taste his thoughts!
662
00:38:51,510 --> 00:38:52,717
Focus on the road.
663
00:38:52,820 --> 00:38:54,960
He just liked training
people. Trainer.
664
00:38:55,065 --> 00:38:57,929
- What are you talking about?
- He loved me.
665
00:38:58,032 --> 00:39:00,621
Can you just scooch
the car over to the left?
666
00:39:00,726 --> 00:39:04,454
Get it off. Get it off. Oh, God.
667
00:39:04,556 --> 00:39:05,833
Watch out!
668
00:39:10,045 --> 00:39:12,945
Oh! Oh! Oh!
669
00:39:15,188 --> 00:39:16,949
Oh, did you see...
670
00:39:19,916 --> 00:39:20,952
No.
671
00:39:26,371 --> 00:39:27,684
Oh.
672
00:39:29,132 --> 00:39:31,445
Oh, no. Oh, no.
673
00:39:31,998 --> 00:39:33,483
Oh, no.
674
00:39:41,905 --> 00:39:43,458
Oh, no.
675
00:39:44,148 --> 00:39:45,943
Alan?
676
00:39:46,047 --> 00:39:49,637
Oh, holy Christmas. Are
you okay? Are you okay?
677
00:39:49,739 --> 00:39:51,811
Do you think you could
get me out of here?
678
00:39:51,914 --> 00:39:53,467
Yeah. Okay.
679
00:39:53,572 --> 00:39:56,471
You just flew out of the
car. I did. I did, indeed.
680
00:39:56,574 --> 00:39:58,023
Okay. I got you. I got you.
681
00:39:58,128 --> 00:40:00,579
Can you get me out of the
chair? Get me out of the chair.
682
00:40:00,681 --> 00:40:02,512
You're right. You're
right. You're right.
683
00:40:03,858 --> 00:40:05,686
Is that... Is that
a nail filer? Yeah.
684
00:40:05,791 --> 00:40:07,275
Can you just rip
it? It's working.
685
00:40:07,378 --> 00:40:09,172
And maybe next time
I toss a gun at you,
686
00:40:09,277 --> 00:40:11,175
you can catch it
instead of ducking.
687
00:40:11,278 --> 00:40:14,489
How about the next time you toss a
gun at me, you say, "Hey, Alan, catch"?
688
00:40:14,592 --> 00:40:16,456
Then maybe do that
before you throw it?
689
00:40:16,559 --> 00:40:18,666
Well, "here" is a
synonym for "catch."
690
00:40:18,768 --> 00:40:20,367
No, "here" is not a
cinnamon for "catch."
691
00:40:20,391 --> 00:40:22,463
In a colloquial kind
of way, yes, it is.
692
00:40:22,565 --> 00:40:24,672
You say, "Here," I
toss you a sweatshirt.
693
00:40:24,775 --> 00:40:26,777
You say, "Here,"
I toss you a pen.
694
00:40:26,880 --> 00:40:29,952
How 'bout just,
"Hey! Catch! Gun!"
695
00:40:30,056 --> 00:40:33,059
Anything that you want to throw, I'll
catch it because you said, "Catch."
696
00:40:33,163 --> 00:40:34,922
And I'll catch it
because you said it.
697
00:40:35,027 --> 00:40:37,443
That is also an option, and
then we would have a gun with us.
698
00:40:37,547 --> 00:40:38,650
That's a thing.
699
00:40:38,755 --> 00:40:41,032
Be careful. Okay,
we need to call...
700
00:40:41,135 --> 00:40:42,793
Be careful.
701
00:40:42,896 --> 00:40:45,416
We need to call for help, get to
the airport and get out of here.
702
00:40:45,519 --> 00:40:47,521
And I am driving.Okay.
703
00:40:49,731 --> 00:40:52,596
Oh. Oh. Oh, oh, oh, oh!
704
00:41:02,329 --> 00:41:04,711
Okay, call for... call for help.
705
00:41:04,815 --> 00:41:06,610
Where's your phone?
706
00:41:09,992 --> 00:41:11,027
Okay.
707
00:41:14,652 --> 00:41:17,483
- Tell me you caught them.
- I tagged the blond one.
708
00:41:19,139 --> 00:41:21,969
Oh, Loretta.
709
00:41:22,074 --> 00:41:24,144
What are you thinking?
710
00:41:24,248 --> 00:41:27,355
You might've killed one of them,
but his partner's still with her.
711
00:41:27,458 --> 00:41:31,117
And he is clearly
skilled, highly trained
712
00:41:32,117 --> 00:41:33,775
and very dangerous.
713
00:41:43,577 --> 00:41:47,650
So, Miss Sage said she
was gonna leave the event,
714
00:41:47,755 --> 00:41:52,414
then got in a car
and left the event?
715
00:41:52,518 --> 00:41:55,210
- Did you try calling her?
- She doesn't have her phone.
716
00:41:55,313 --> 00:41:56,728
Stolen phone. Didn't say that.
717
00:41:56,833 --> 00:41:58,592
Where's my magnifier?
718
00:41:58,697 --> 00:42:00,699
Listen, can you
please help with Nana?
719
00:42:00,802 --> 00:42:03,262
I don't want her hearing about
Loretta 'cause it's going to upset her.
720
00:42:03,286 --> 00:42:06,358
-What about Loretta?
-Nothing, Nana. She just went on a trip.
721
00:42:06,463 --> 00:42:07,739
Good. Yeah.
722
00:42:07,844 --> 00:42:10,293
That girl needed to
get out of the house.
723
00:42:10,398 --> 00:42:14,574
So, this is the thing. Loretta's
phone is not stolen. I took it.
724
00:42:14,677 --> 00:42:19,130
I gave it to Alan. Alan then gave
it to the trainer, uh, Jack Trainer.
725
00:42:19,233 --> 00:42:21,512
And that is how we
found her wearable.
726
00:42:21,615 --> 00:42:23,306
And who's Alan? Dash.
727
00:42:23,411 --> 00:42:26,240
- What's that?
- He's the hero in all of her books.
728
00:42:26,344 --> 00:42:29,382
- Nana. Hey, slut.
- Mm-mmm.
729
00:42:29,485 --> 00:42:32,420
Let's go in the other room and talk
about whichever war you lived through.
730
00:42:32,523 --> 00:42:35,664
Okay. Come on, it'll be
fun. I'm sorry. It'll be fun.
731
00:42:35,768 --> 00:42:37,701
Listen, Loretta Sage is missing.
732
00:42:37,804 --> 00:42:40,092
When I looked at her smartwatch,
it said that she had flown
733
00:42:40,117 --> 00:42:41,797
to some island I've
never even heard about.
734
00:42:41,878 --> 00:42:43,682
That means y'all need to
do something about this.
735
00:42:43,706 --> 00:42:46,088
And if you can't, I will, and
that won't look good for you.
736
00:42:46,192 --> 00:42:48,918
Pretty sure that's
outside our jurisdiction.
737
00:42:49,023 --> 00:42:52,059
- You'd have to call the Feds.
- Okay.
738
00:42:52,164 --> 00:42:54,545
And if you do go to the Feds,
put in a good word for me.
739
00:42:54,648 --> 00:42:57,030
For me. For us.
740
00:43:02,657 --> 00:43:04,175
Oh, oh.
741
00:43:11,217 --> 00:43:13,460
What are you gonna do,
put the car back together?
742
00:43:13,563 --> 00:43:15,773
Well... we could...
743
00:43:31,686 --> 00:43:34,378
Where did you say the
phone was? Passenger glove.
744
00:43:34,481 --> 00:43:36,242
What? Passenger
glove compartment.
745
00:43:36,346 --> 00:43:37,588
Goodness.
746
00:43:38,693 --> 00:43:40,211
Oh, my God.
747
00:43:40,315 --> 00:43:42,559
Oh, my God. No phone, no
car. We're so gonna die out...
748
00:43:42,663 --> 00:43:44,387
Here. What is this?
749
00:43:44,492 --> 00:43:46,148
Boots for the jungle.
750
00:43:47,012 --> 00:43:48,840
It's not exactly
hiking boots, but...
751
00:43:48,945 --> 00:43:51,681
I figured your feet would be killing
you after wearing heels for this long.
752
00:43:51,706 --> 00:43:54,052
It was the best we could
do. They're Allison's. Sorry.
753
00:43:54,847 --> 00:43:56,918
Oh. Okay, well, thank you.
754
00:43:57,021 --> 00:43:58,817
Here, oh, I got you cheese.
755
00:43:58,920 --> 00:44:00,715
Oh, my God. You
got to stay hydrated.
756
00:44:00,818 --> 00:44:02,786
Thank you so much. They
didn't have glass bottles,
757
00:44:02,889 --> 00:44:04,891
so we'll definitely
hold onto it and recycle.
758
00:44:07,480 --> 00:44:12,175
Okay, so what we need to do is find a
phone, we need to call the authorities,
759
00:44:12,277 --> 00:44:15,177
and we need to wait here until
somebody comes and rescues us.
760
00:44:15,280 --> 00:44:18,802
Uh... This... This
is the rescue.
761
00:44:18,905 --> 00:44:20,182
No one else is coming.
762
00:44:20,286 --> 00:44:22,253
I'm sorry? I'm the rescue.
763
00:44:22,356 --> 00:44:25,291
It was originally just gonna be me,
then I was like, Trainer should come.
764
00:44:25,394 --> 00:44:27,121
Oh, Trainer. Rest in peace.
765
00:44:27,224 --> 00:44:31,469
So, our best bet is to get to the
airport. See this road right here?
766
00:44:31,572 --> 00:44:34,266
From this area, just take a shortcut
through the jungle to the road.
767
00:44:34,369 --> 00:44:36,268
Did you just say "shortcut
through the jungle"?
768
00:44:36,371 --> 00:44:37,889
Yeah. Okay, do you see us?
769
00:44:37,994 --> 00:44:40,512
Uh-huh. You are not Dash,
and I'm not Lovemore. Okay?
770
00:44:40,617 --> 00:44:42,032
I'm Loretta, and you are Alan.
771
00:44:42,135 --> 00:44:44,447
And jungles eat people
like us, okay? Eat people.
772
00:44:44,552 --> 00:44:47,865
And I don't want to mess up the jumpsuit.
It's on loan. So we're gonna stay put.
773
00:44:47,969 --> 00:44:49,902
We're not just gonna
stand around here, okay?
774
00:44:50,005 --> 00:44:51,385
We're gonna go
through the jungle,
775
00:44:51,489 --> 00:44:53,594
we're gonna go to the
airport and find a phone,
776
00:44:53,699 --> 00:44:56,702
- so you can have your cake and get what you want.
- "And eat it too"?
777
00:44:56,806 --> 00:44:59,255
If that's what you want to do
with your cake, fine. Let's go.
778
00:44:59,360 --> 00:45:01,371
- That's the only thing you do with cake.
- Not mine.
779
00:45:01,396 --> 00:45:03,847
I don't know what your
people do, but my people eat it.
780
00:45:03,951 --> 00:45:06,159
You could give it
to someone as a gift.
781
00:45:06,262 --> 00:45:08,472
Those people are still
going to eat the cake.
782
00:45:08,576 --> 00:45:10,128
Everybody eats cake.
783
00:45:10,233 --> 00:45:12,061
What about the kind
people jump out of?
784
00:45:12,166 --> 00:45:15,099
They don't eat it, when
they're in it. Oh, my God.
785
00:45:41,402 --> 00:45:42,989
What did they kidnap
you for anyhow?
786
00:45:43,092 --> 00:45:44,956
Is it some weird
sex stuff like Taken?
787
00:45:45,061 --> 00:45:46,614
Oh, my God, thank you.
788
00:45:46,717 --> 00:45:49,443
I thought so too, but the
guy's one of the Fairfaxes.
789
00:45:49,547 --> 00:45:51,376
Beverly? No, the older one.
790
00:45:51,481 --> 00:45:54,932
The really odd one that had the
vlog on finding Montezuma's treasure.
791
00:45:55,036 --> 00:45:57,476
The dude that was on the news
for trying to raise the Titanic?
792
00:45:57,556 --> 00:45:59,351
Yes, he's looking
for the Crown of Fire.
793
00:45:59,454 --> 00:46:03,423
Wait a minute. Like the actual
Crown of Fire? Like the one...
794
00:46:03,527 --> 00:46:06,876
So those ruins were... They
were the Lost City of D, yes.
795
00:46:06,978 --> 00:46:09,291
What? Are you kidding
me right now? Shh.
796
00:46:09,394 --> 00:46:10,844
This is like your book.
797
00:46:10,949 --> 00:46:13,778
So we're basically on a Lovemore
and Dash adventure right now?
798
00:46:13,882 --> 00:46:15,885
What is that?
799
00:46:15,987 --> 00:46:18,472
What if Fairfax
actually finds the crown?
800
00:46:18,577 --> 00:46:19,958
He won't. He won't.
801
00:46:22,132 --> 00:46:23,237
Where do we go? Uh...
802
00:46:23,340 --> 00:46:25,307
Oh, oh, oh.
803
00:46:28,380 --> 00:46:30,519
Okay, uh, we need
to get in the water.
804
00:46:30,623 --> 00:46:32,728
W-What? We need to go by river.
805
00:46:32,833 --> 00:46:34,661
No, no, I don't really do water.
806
00:46:34,764 --> 00:46:37,192
What do you mean, "do water"?
I'm not asking you to procreate with it.
807
00:46:37,215 --> 00:46:39,666
Uh, my body and water
don't really go together.
808
00:46:39,769 --> 00:46:42,117
How do you feel
about dying? Oh, God.
809
00:46:42,221 --> 00:46:44,101
Hey. Whoa, whoa, whoa.
You're okay. You're okay.
810
00:46:44,188 --> 00:46:47,018
I got you. Fine. I can swim. I
can swim. Thank you very much.
811
00:46:47,123 --> 00:46:49,193
Where are you
going? I'm crossing.
812
00:46:49,297 --> 00:46:51,264
No, we have to
stay in the water.
813
00:46:51,367 --> 00:46:53,898
I researched aquatic counter-tracking
for my book, A Year in the Bush.
814
00:46:53,922 --> 00:46:55,925
They'll lose our
tracks in the water.
815
00:46:56,027 --> 00:46:58,824
Why is it warm here?
Wait, are you peeing?
816
00:46:58,927 --> 00:47:00,929
Just go around it.
817
00:47:29,717 --> 00:47:31,235
Okay, I think...
818
00:47:31,338 --> 00:47:33,237
I think we lost them, right?
819
00:47:33,340 --> 00:47:36,344
Yeah. That wasn't so bad. Yeah.
820
00:47:36,447 --> 00:47:38,105
Okay, uh...
821
00:47:38,208 --> 00:47:40,623
Don't panic. What do
you mean, don't panic?
822
00:47:40,728 --> 00:47:41,936
- Just don't panic.
- No.
823
00:47:42,039 --> 00:47:43,800
Stop saying "panic."
I'm panicking now.
824
00:47:43,903 --> 00:47:45,766
You have something on your back.
825
00:47:47,286 --> 00:47:48,079
No!
826
00:47:48,184 --> 00:47:49,668
Stop screaming. What is that?
827
00:47:49,771 --> 00:47:51,014
What is that? Stop screaming.
828
00:47:51,117 --> 00:47:52,567
Do you have any on you? No. No.
829
00:47:52,670 --> 00:47:54,121
Why don't you have any on you?
830
00:47:54,224 --> 00:47:56,099
Maybe the jumpsuit
scared them off. I don't know.
831
00:47:56,123 --> 00:47:57,641
Get 'em off. Oh, my God.
832
00:47:57,744 --> 00:48:00,264
Okay. No, I can't touch those
blood-gorged mucous sacks.
833
00:48:00,367 --> 00:48:01,818
Can you fling it? Right now.
834
00:48:01,922 --> 00:48:03,302
Get it. Just pick
it and fling it.
835
00:48:03,405 --> 00:48:05,384
Just pick it and fling it.
You pick it and fling it!
836
00:48:05,407 --> 00:48:07,478
Can you spin it off?
Please, get it off.
837
00:48:07,581 --> 00:48:09,619
I don't like touching
it. I'm feeling faint.
838
00:48:09,722 --> 00:48:12,829
They're sucking my soul out.
Okay, okay. Stop, stop, stop.
839
00:48:14,485 --> 00:48:16,728
Don't make that sound.
840
00:48:20,318 --> 00:48:21,802
How many of them are there?
841
00:48:21,907 --> 00:48:23,425
Oh, there's not many.
842
00:48:23,528 --> 00:48:25,530
It feels like there's so
many. What are you...
843
00:48:25,635 --> 00:48:26,947
I feel so many. Oh!
844
00:48:27,050 --> 00:48:29,603
Holy mother of God!
Why are you praying?
845
00:48:29,708 --> 00:48:32,744
Is it that bad? It can't be that
bad. Is it that bad? How many?
846
00:48:32,849 --> 00:48:34,092
It's not great.
847
00:48:34,195 --> 00:48:35,851
They're gonna suck
every bit of me out.
848
00:48:35,956 --> 00:48:38,612
Just please stop speaking. I
just need to... need to get low.
849
00:48:38,717 --> 00:48:40,443
Hold on a second.
850
00:48:40,545 --> 00:48:43,342
Oh, God! I can feel them just...
they're just sucking out so much.
851
00:48:43,445 --> 00:48:46,311
I'm gonna be like a shriveled-up
skin sack when they're done.
852
00:48:46,414 --> 00:48:48,382
You cannot tell my dad
I died this way, okay?
853
00:48:48,485 --> 00:48:52,523
You gotta tell him I was wrestling an
anaconda with a sword or something.
854
00:48:52,626 --> 00:48:55,422
I'm like a blood Jamba Juice.
They're just sucking it all out.
855
00:48:55,527 --> 00:48:57,148
Why are they all
on my butt though?
856
00:48:57,253 --> 00:48:59,876
Kind of like picking
anchovies off my Caesar salad.
857
00:48:59,980 --> 00:49:01,704
- It's actually not so bad.
- Anchovies?
858
00:49:01,809 --> 00:49:03,396
Why do you go to food right now?
859
00:49:03,500 --> 00:49:06,364
Just find the queen, and
let's be done with this.
860
00:49:06,469 --> 00:49:08,815
Think you're good. I need
to just check your front.
861
00:49:08,918 --> 00:49:11,163
Okay. I can't look.
862
00:49:13,407 --> 00:49:14,717
Is it bad?
863
00:49:14,822 --> 00:49:17,927
Uh, wow. What
is it? Just say it.
864
00:49:18,032 --> 00:49:21,380
I mean, you expect
it to, you know, not...
865
00:49:21,483 --> 00:49:24,210
Then suddenly there
it is, and it is, uh...
866
00:49:24,313 --> 00:49:26,557
You know, you get
excited for a person. What?
867
00:49:26,661 --> 00:49:29,284
I mean, I'm excited for all
people. Why are you excited?
868
00:49:29,387 --> 00:49:31,701
Well, you know, people
wonder, they wonder,
869
00:49:31,804 --> 00:49:33,427
but they don't know, right?
870
00:49:33,530 --> 00:49:36,016
They don't, until
suddenly they do know,
871
00:49:36,119 --> 00:49:40,434
and then they... they know
something that wasn't known before.
872
00:49:40,536 --> 00:49:42,400
Just... Do I have
any leeches or not?
873
00:49:42,505 --> 00:49:46,612
Oh, your plucky warrior
hangs in tranquil solitude.
874
00:49:46,715 --> 00:49:47,820
What?
875
00:49:47,923 --> 00:49:50,063
No, you're good. You're good.
876
00:49:51,202 --> 00:49:52,929
We were so brave just then.
877
00:49:53,032 --> 00:49:55,275
Why do they go for
the butt so much?
878
00:50:16,572 --> 00:50:19,438
What's that song you're singing?
879
00:50:19,541 --> 00:50:22,545
A song my abbiused to
sing to me when I was a kid.
880
00:50:23,510 --> 00:50:26,168
"If you suck life from
the island... Yeah?
881
00:50:26,273 --> 00:50:29,068
The island will suck of you."
882
00:50:29,172 --> 00:50:33,106
Your grandma sang you songs
about getting sucked off by an island?
883
00:50:33,210 --> 00:50:35,557
It doesn't translate super well.
884
00:50:36,454 --> 00:50:39,286
Is phantom leech
syndrome, like, a thing?
885
00:50:39,389 --> 00:50:41,391
They don't lay eggs, do they?
886
00:51:30,509 --> 00:51:31,717
Queen Taha?
887
00:51:45,317 --> 00:51:49,701
"King Kalaman and his
treasure laid to rest..."
888
00:51:50,632 --> 00:51:54,291
laid to rest in the
well of endless tears.
889
00:51:54,394 --> 00:51:56,327
"Laid to rest in the
well of endless tears."
890
00:51:56,431 --> 00:51:58,295
What does that mean? Loretta!
891
00:51:58,985 --> 00:52:00,711
You gave me a heart attack.
892
00:52:01,402 --> 00:52:03,059
Where'd you go?
893
00:52:07,132 --> 00:52:08,684
What is this?
894
00:52:08,789 --> 00:52:12,032
I'm not sure, but maybe
they gathered here?
895
00:52:14,588 --> 00:52:17,246
Can you imagine
being right here,
896
00:52:17,349 --> 00:52:20,007
right in this very
spot back then?
897
00:52:20,110 --> 00:52:21,835
The stories that they told?
898
00:52:21,940 --> 00:52:24,701
So much history I'm
sure happened right here.
899
00:52:30,016 --> 00:52:31,398
They've got us cornered.
900
00:52:31,501 --> 00:52:33,193
Okay. We've got to
go up. Come on. What?
901
00:52:33,295 --> 00:52:36,402
Have you seen what I'm
wearing? I'm in a glitter straitjacket.
902
00:52:36,505 --> 00:52:39,474
There's nowhere to go
but up. Come on. Let's go.
903
00:52:39,577 --> 00:52:43,132
Oh! I should not be doing
this. I'm too old for this.
904
00:52:43,237 --> 00:52:44,420
No, you're not.
You're beautiful.
905
00:52:44,445 --> 00:52:46,101
I didn't say I'm not beautiful.
906
00:52:46,206 --> 00:52:48,103
I said I'm too old
to be doing this.
907
00:52:48,208 --> 00:52:51,831
My skill is sitting and thinking
and eating when I can't think.
908
00:52:51,934 --> 00:52:54,351
Yeah, you definitely could be
wearing better shoes for this.
909
00:52:54,454 --> 00:52:56,353
You brought me these shoes.
910
00:52:56,456 --> 00:52:59,010
I can't go any further.
I can't go any further.
911
00:52:59,114 --> 00:53:00,840
I'm not doing so great here.
912
00:53:00,943 --> 00:53:02,360
You got it. Come on.
913
00:53:02,463 --> 00:53:04,327
I know you think that
you're safer holding on,
914
00:53:04,431 --> 00:53:05,708
but you have to keep going.
915
00:53:05,811 --> 00:53:07,710
I can't. I can't, I can't.Okay?
916
00:53:08,503 --> 00:53:09,952
Do you smell that? Smell what?
917
00:53:10,056 --> 00:53:11,896
I smell something. Is it
a predator? What is it?
918
00:53:11,920 --> 00:53:13,920
A downward cascading
fire? You got to smell deeper.
919
00:53:13,956 --> 00:53:15,130
I don't smell anything!
920
00:53:18,547 --> 00:53:21,793
Take a big, deep breath.
921
00:53:21,896 --> 00:53:23,208
All right.
922
00:53:23,311 --> 00:53:24,934
Good job.Okay.
923
00:53:25,036 --> 00:53:28,661
That was manipulative.
Thank you. Yeah, it was.
924
00:53:28,764 --> 00:53:31,251
Here we go. I'm gonna help
you out a little bit, all right?
925
00:53:31,353 --> 00:53:33,474
- One, two, three... Here we go!
- What are you doing?
926
00:53:33,528 --> 00:53:34,909
Get out of there. Come on.
927
00:53:35,012 --> 00:53:37,083
No, no, don't flex.
That's my hoo-hoo.
928
00:53:37,186 --> 00:53:40,121
Just ride the head. Keep the
hands moving and ride the head.
929
00:53:40,224 --> 00:53:41,536
Oh, God. You're doing great.
930
00:53:41,639 --> 00:53:44,297
Sorry about the scratchy
haircut. Come on.
931
00:54:04,387 --> 00:54:06,630
Dulcius ex asperis.
932
00:54:07,217 --> 00:54:08,597
What was that?
933
00:54:08,702 --> 00:54:10,219
Oh, nothing.
934
00:54:10,324 --> 00:54:12,568
It was just something
that John and I would say
935
00:54:12,670 --> 00:54:15,811
after we finished
something big, like a...
936
00:54:15,916 --> 00:54:17,882
like an archaeological
dig or a manuscript.
937
00:54:17,987 --> 00:54:21,300
It's Latin. It means
"sweeter after difficulty."
938
00:54:22,440 --> 00:54:23,820
What's...
939
00:54:23,923 --> 00:54:25,856
What's Latin for
"Loretta's a badass"?
940
00:54:25,960 --> 00:54:30,447
I am a badass. I
climbed a mountain.
941
00:54:30,550 --> 00:54:33,519
Oh, my God. I wish Beth
could've seen us do this.
942
00:54:33,623 --> 00:54:36,454
Oh, God. Beth. Don't
worry about Beth.
943
00:54:36,556 --> 00:54:40,043
She's probably got the
whole navy after us right now.
944
00:54:40,146 --> 00:54:43,219
I get that you think you have to
go to the island authorities yourself,
945
00:54:43,322 --> 00:54:46,739
but don't worry, I'm keeping
Loretta's socials super active.
946
00:54:46,842 --> 00:54:49,224
Just tweeted, "Did I
just get kidnapped?
947
00:54:49,329 --> 00:54:52,849
#FML, @ShawnMendes,
#ShawnMendes."
948
00:54:52,952 --> 00:54:54,610
And you're traveling alone?
949
00:54:54,713 --> 00:54:57,543
Yes, I'm traveling alone.
Mm-hmm. I'm single.
950
00:54:58,130 --> 00:54:59,338
Then this might work.
951
00:54:59,442 --> 00:55:01,271
Okay! Talk to me.
You'll hit New York.
952
00:55:01,375 --> 00:55:04,896
From there, you'll fly to Guinea,
where you can pick up a puddle jumper.
953
00:55:04,998 --> 00:55:06,068
A what?
954
00:55:07,001 --> 00:55:08,485
Small plane. Yeah, no leg room.
955
00:55:08,588 --> 00:55:09,762
That's fine. I'll take it.
956
00:55:09,865 --> 00:55:11,902
Or you could just
come home. Thank you.
957
00:55:19,773 --> 00:55:22,257
We need something more
flammable. Everything is just so wet.
958
00:55:22,362 --> 00:55:23,880
What's in here?
What's in your bag?
959
00:55:23,983 --> 00:55:25,847
Uh... Oh, a lot. Okay.
960
00:55:25,951 --> 00:55:27,400
What are you doing?
961
00:55:27,505 --> 00:55:29,369
Okay. Face masks.
962
00:55:29,472 --> 00:55:30,967
Yeah, that was like
a gift-basket thing.
963
00:55:30,990 --> 00:55:32,958
You brought a scented
candle into the jungle?
964
00:55:33,061 --> 00:55:34,338
My mom gave me that.
965
00:55:34,443 --> 00:55:36,074
It was like a weird
gift for Mother's Day.
966
00:55:36,099 --> 00:55:38,378
Your mom gives you
gifts for Mother's Day?
967
00:55:39,688 --> 00:55:40,483
Noir...
968
00:55:40,586 --> 00:55:42,554
Eucalyptus rosemary oil. Ooh.
969
00:55:43,141 --> 00:55:44,418
Oh, that smells good.
970
00:55:44,521 --> 00:55:46,695
Um... Oh, okay. All right.
971
00:55:46,800 --> 00:55:48,422
Whoo! Yes!
972
00:55:48,525 --> 00:55:50,976
Yes, I made fire!
973
00:55:51,079 --> 00:55:54,635
-That's pretty impressive. You have to...
-It is a beautiful fire.
974
00:55:54,739 --> 00:55:56,672
Who would have thought?
975
00:55:56,775 --> 00:55:59,260
Oh, you're just, um,
taking your shirt off?
976
00:56:00,364 --> 00:56:02,402
That looks really uncomfortable.
977
00:56:02,505 --> 00:56:04,403
Are you okay? The back?
978
00:56:04,507 --> 00:56:08,579
Yeah. That is why
I don't do water.
979
00:56:08,684 --> 00:56:10,961
Okay. My body becomes
an eighth-grader's face.
980
00:56:11,065 --> 00:56:13,929
Do you have anything for it?
Like some ointment or something?
981
00:56:14,034 --> 00:56:15,931
Yeah, I do. Well, I did.
982
00:56:16,036 --> 00:56:18,106
It was in a little,
tiny little bottle.
983
00:56:18,210 --> 00:56:20,177
It was this. I'm sorry.
984
00:56:20,280 --> 00:56:22,318
Oh, God, I'm sorry.
985
00:56:22,422 --> 00:56:23,768
It's okay.
986
00:56:23,871 --> 00:56:26,184
-Hold on. Yes. Come here. Come here.
-What?
987
00:56:26,286 --> 00:56:28,704
- Come here. Sit down.
- Let me see.
988
00:56:28,806 --> 00:56:30,291
Just sit down. Right here?
989
00:56:30,394 --> 00:56:31,603
Yeah.
990
00:56:32,811 --> 00:56:34,434
Okay.
991
00:56:34,536 --> 00:56:36,481
Oh, no, you don't have to
touch it. It's okay. It's fine.
992
00:56:36,505 --> 00:56:38,507
I touched your
engorged sacks, so...
993
00:56:40,715 --> 00:56:42,442
The leeches. Oh, okay.
994
00:56:42,545 --> 00:56:45,340
Okay, this might
be a little bit cold.
995
00:56:46,514 --> 00:56:48,239
Sorry. Oh, yeah. Mm-hmm.
996
00:56:48,344 --> 00:56:49,621
Sorry, sorry, sorry.
997
00:56:49,724 --> 00:56:51,692
Maybe this is how
Dash should die.
998
00:56:51,795 --> 00:56:54,833
Horrible eczema
outbreak. That's so sexy.
999
00:56:54,936 --> 00:56:56,456
I could make it work.
1000
00:56:56,903 --> 00:56:57,940
Yeah?
1001
00:56:58,596 --> 00:57:00,045
All right, then.
1002
00:57:01,322 --> 00:57:03,047
How would you write this?
1003
00:57:03,152 --> 00:57:04,635
Okay.
1004
00:57:06,534 --> 00:57:09,847
"Warmed by the fragrant fire..."
1005
00:57:09,952 --> 00:57:12,402
Mm-hmm.
1006
00:57:12,505 --> 00:57:14,403
Starting strong.Mm-hmm.
1007
00:57:14,507 --> 00:57:17,614
"Lovemore's hands
explored the..."
1008
00:57:19,375 --> 00:57:21,860
the contoured scenery
1009
00:57:21,963 --> 00:57:23,552
of Dash's body.
1010
00:57:25,692 --> 00:57:28,384
Familiar terrain made
1011
00:57:28,487 --> 00:57:30,835
new and exciting with every...
1012
00:57:31,766 --> 00:57:34,114
"with every scarlet rim."
1013
00:57:35,217 --> 00:57:36,909
And that didn't, uh...
1014
00:57:37,737 --> 00:57:39,257
didn't turn her off?
1015
00:57:39,360 --> 00:57:40,568
No.
1016
00:57:41,396 --> 00:57:43,226
"Because with
every cardinal ridge,
1017
00:57:44,226 --> 00:57:46,643
Lovemore discovered
another letter in the language
1018
00:57:46,746 --> 00:57:48,853
"that only their bodies spoke."
1019
00:57:49,887 --> 00:57:51,925
And what were
their bodies saying?
1020
00:57:53,891 --> 00:57:55,445
"Take me..."
1021
00:57:57,344 --> 00:57:58,965
take me,
1022
00:57:59,552 --> 00:58:01,244
"take me."
1023
00:58:01,347 --> 00:58:02,659
How's that?
1024
00:58:03,487 --> 00:58:04,764
It was good.
1025
00:58:04,869 --> 00:58:06,594
Your back. I mean,
how is your back? Good.
1026
00:58:06,697 --> 00:58:08,112
Okay. You sure? Yeah.
1027
00:58:08,217 --> 00:58:12,773
I also meant my back.
Right there, yeah.Okay.
1028
00:58:21,023 --> 00:58:22,057
Supplies.
1029
00:58:24,197 --> 00:58:28,478
Okay, I'm chilly. I think I'm
gonna probably turn in in a little bit.
1030
00:58:28,581 --> 00:58:29,789
Okay. You good?
1031
00:58:29,893 --> 00:58:32,552
Yeah, I'm fire...
fine. I'm fine.
1032
00:58:32,655 --> 00:58:35,588
I'm not "fire." I'm
fine by the fire.
1033
00:58:36,278 --> 00:58:38,005
Okay. All right.
1034
00:58:45,909 --> 00:58:49,222
Uh, it's up to you,
but if you're cold,
1035
00:58:49,327 --> 00:58:53,538
maybe we could probably
both fit in here, if you wanted to.
1036
00:58:54,193 --> 00:58:55,920
Both of us?
1037
00:58:56,023 --> 00:58:59,061
Only if you want to. I mean,
it's just... Yeah, no, that sounds...
1038
00:58:59,164 --> 00:59:00,648
Uh...
1039
00:59:00,751 --> 00:59:02,132
Okay. How do you...
1040
00:59:02,235 --> 00:59:04,204
You can go first,
then I'll figure it out.
1041
00:59:04,306 --> 00:59:07,447
No, no, you go. It's definitely
a "ladies first" type of situation.
1042
00:59:07,552 --> 00:59:10,210
Keep hands out of the bag at all
times. That's what I was gonna do.
1043
00:59:10,313 --> 00:59:11,969
Butt to butt. Hands
out and butt to butt.
1044
00:59:12,074 --> 00:59:15,387
Yeah. What do I do? Just
get in. Go ahead and sit.
1045
00:59:15,490 --> 00:59:18,182
I sit first? Okay. I'm in.
1046
00:59:19,737 --> 00:59:22,324
You're too heavy. You're gonna
flip this thing like a cruise ship.
1047
00:59:22,429 --> 00:59:25,086
You watch yourself.
Hold on. I'm not in.
1048
00:59:25,190 --> 00:59:28,365
Why is this engaging
my core so much?
1049
00:59:29,159 --> 00:59:31,057
How 'bout you shimmy?
1050
00:59:31,161 --> 00:59:33,266
I can't breathe. I'm not
breathing. Are you good?
1051
00:59:33,371 --> 00:59:34,682
My face.
1052
00:59:35,268 --> 00:59:36,512
Yeah. Okay.
1053
00:59:39,619 --> 00:59:41,103
Hands are out. Butt to butt.
1054
00:59:41,206 --> 00:59:42,242
Okay.
1055
01:00:13,445 --> 01:00:15,032
Well!
1056
01:00:15,137 --> 01:00:16,275
Come on.
1057
01:00:16,378 --> 01:00:18,036
Come on! Let's hear it!
1058
01:00:18,139 --> 01:00:21,626
Let's give a nice round
of applause to Loretta!
1059
01:00:21,730 --> 01:00:23,351
She earned it.
1060
01:00:23,454 --> 01:00:27,320
A geriatric shut-in left you
holding your dicks in the jungle.
1061
01:00:27,425 --> 01:00:28,806
Good job, Loretta.
1062
01:00:28,909 --> 01:00:31,429
Boss, come on.
People are dying now.
1063
01:00:31,532 --> 01:00:35,190
Don't you think that maybe
this has all gone too far?
1064
01:00:36,434 --> 01:00:38,159
Is it really worth it?
1065
01:00:38,262 --> 01:00:41,646
I am on the cusp of
attaining the unattainable.
1066
01:00:41,750 --> 01:00:44,753
Something singular,
something no nation,
1067
01:00:44,856 --> 01:00:48,445
no emperor, no brownnosing
brothers ever have.
1068
01:00:48,548 --> 01:00:51,655
The legendary Crown of Fire.
1069
01:00:52,105 --> 01:00:53,244
So, yes.
1070
01:00:53,347 --> 01:00:55,659
Yes, I would definitely
say it's worth it.
1071
01:01:05,393 --> 01:01:06,913
Excuse me!
1072
01:01:07,016 --> 01:01:09,916
Excuse me, sir. I need to get
to my next connecting flight.
1073
01:01:10,018 --> 01:01:11,364
No flight.
1074
01:01:11,469 --> 01:01:14,057
The pilot is sick.
Come tomorrow.
1075
01:01:14,161 --> 01:01:16,380
No, no, sir. I cannot come
tomorrow. I need to do this today.
1076
01:01:16,405 --> 01:01:21,134
I need to get to the island Isla
Hundida tonight. Lives are at stake.
1077
01:01:21,237 --> 01:01:22,722
Come tomorrow.
1078
01:01:26,552 --> 01:01:28,244
Excuse me, miss? Yes?
1079
01:01:28,347 --> 01:01:32,420
I couldn't help but overhear
you say that you like steak.
1080
01:01:32,523 --> 01:01:35,804
Okay, this is
a little bit crazy,
1081
01:01:35,907 --> 01:01:37,702
but I also like steak.
1082
01:01:37,806 --> 01:01:40,152
What? I also like steak.
1083
01:01:40,255 --> 01:01:43,708
Would you like to,
maybe, I don't know...
1084
01:01:43,811 --> 01:01:46,641
- Maybe there's a...
- No. "Lives are at stake."
1085
01:01:46,746 --> 01:01:48,505
I need to go to
the island tonight.
1086
01:01:48,608 --> 01:01:50,025
Ah.Yes.
1087
01:01:50,128 --> 01:01:51,715
Even more serious.Extremely.
1088
01:01:51,820 --> 01:01:54,822
Well, I believe that I
may be able to assist you.
1089
01:01:54,925 --> 01:01:56,858
I have a cargo plane.
1090
01:01:58,032 --> 01:02:01,726
Maybe after I make my delivery,
we could swing by your island.
1091
01:02:01,829 --> 01:02:04,625
I'm about to ask you something,
and you better tell me the truth.
1092
01:02:04,728 --> 01:02:06,592
Have you ever
murdered anyone before?
1093
01:02:06,695 --> 01:02:09,940
No!
1094
01:02:13,530 --> 01:02:16,257
I don't know if I really buy it,
but let me tell you something.
1095
01:02:16,360 --> 01:02:20,606
If you ever think about murdering
me, I promise, I will murder you first.
1096
01:02:20,710 --> 01:02:22,056
My pleasure.
1097
01:02:22,159 --> 01:02:24,300
You are weird. Let's go.
1098
01:03:19,699 --> 01:03:23,117
"King Kalaman and his
treasure laid to rest in the well
1099
01:03:23,773 --> 01:03:25,188
of endless tears."
1100
01:03:26,880 --> 01:03:28,054
What is that?
1101
01:03:29,226 --> 01:03:32,679
Oh, it's a... it's a thing.
I mean, it's not, uh...
1102
01:03:32,782 --> 01:03:35,025
You know, it's not
what you think it is.
1103
01:03:35,130 --> 01:03:38,927
So it's not Fairfax's fragment
of an ancient parchment?
1104
01:03:39,030 --> 01:03:42,827
Okay. It's what you think it is.
1105
01:03:42,931 --> 01:03:44,460
Loretta, I thought you
were smarter than that.
1106
01:03:44,483 --> 01:03:47,280
Fairfax is never gonna
stop hunting us now.
1107
01:03:47,382 --> 01:03:48,384
What were you thinking?
1108
01:03:48,487 --> 01:03:50,454
We have a volcano
that could bury the tomb
1109
01:03:50,559 --> 01:03:54,114
before we get to it, before we see
it, before we preserve its memory.
1110
01:03:54,217 --> 01:03:56,150
This is... I'm sorry. Is
that what we're doing?
1111
01:03:56,253 --> 01:03:58,773
'Cause no one told me.
When were you gonna tell me?
1112
01:03:58,878 --> 01:04:00,293
Why would I tell you?
1113
01:04:00,396 --> 01:04:02,304
We're in this together. I
came here to rescue you.
1114
01:04:02,329 --> 01:04:04,021
You know you're not Dash, right?
1115
01:04:04,123 --> 01:04:06,367
You don't ride in on a
white horse to rescue people.
1116
01:04:06,471 --> 01:04:10,751
You... spray yourself with bronzer
and you stand in front of wind machines,
1117
01:04:10,855 --> 01:04:12,373
which is great for you.
1118
01:04:12,476 --> 01:04:15,135
How would you have any
idea what I'm actually like?
1119
01:04:15,239 --> 01:04:18,172
I know you. You're a
pretty open book, Alan.
1120
01:04:18,275 --> 01:04:20,070
- Okay, then who am I?
- Really?
1121
01:04:20,175 --> 01:04:21,210
Yeah.
1122
01:04:23,280 --> 01:04:25,489
O... Okay, uh...
1123
01:04:25,594 --> 01:04:28,699
You were a homecoming king and
you coasted on your good looks to LA,
1124
01:04:28,804 --> 01:04:31,402
but then realized that being the most
handsome kid in the middle of nowhere
1125
01:04:31,427 --> 01:04:33,152
doesn't mean you're
going to be a star.
1126
01:04:33,257 --> 01:04:35,166
Until one day, when a woman
who couldn't publish her book
1127
01:04:35,190 --> 01:04:38,778
on Spanish colonization in the Atlantic
decided to write a romance novel,
1128
01:04:38,882 --> 01:04:40,815
uh, chose you at
random to be on the cover.
1129
01:04:40,920 --> 01:04:44,336
Lucky for you and her, the
novels were a smashing success.
1130
01:04:44,440 --> 01:04:47,443
She kept writing her
schlock, you kept posing,
1131
01:04:47,547 --> 01:04:53,001
um, you know, neither one of us
becoming who we'd hoped we would be.
1132
01:04:53,103 --> 01:04:57,211
Uh, and then one day,
we both die in the jungle
1133
01:04:57,315 --> 01:05:01,215
on one of those Atlantic islands
I wrote about all those years ago.
1134
01:05:01,318 --> 01:05:02,355
Right?
1135
01:05:03,701 --> 01:05:05,012
Mm-hmm.
1136
01:05:16,300 --> 01:05:18,025
It was Sarasota, by the way.
1137
01:05:18,543 --> 01:05:20,130
It's not nowhere.
1138
01:05:20,235 --> 01:05:22,478
I grew up there with
my mom and two sisters.
1139
01:05:22,581 --> 01:05:23,617
And yeah...
1140
01:05:24,617 --> 01:05:27,311
I started modeling 'cause
I wanted to get away.
1141
01:05:27,414 --> 01:05:29,347
It was the only job
that I could think of
1142
01:05:29,451 --> 01:05:32,695
that could take me to all of the
places that I always dreamed of going.
1143
01:05:32,798 --> 01:05:34,110
Then finally to Los Angeles,
1144
01:05:34,213 --> 01:05:36,976
where I posed on the
cover of your romance novel.
1145
01:05:37,079 --> 01:05:39,978
And I was so embarrassed that
one of my friends might've seen me
1146
01:05:40,081 --> 01:05:42,222
in that wig on the
cover of your book
1147
01:05:42,326 --> 01:05:44,983
that I avoided talking
to them for months.
1148
01:05:45,949 --> 01:05:47,434
And then one day,
1149
01:05:48,159 --> 01:05:50,023
I'm walking home,
1150
01:05:50,126 --> 01:05:52,922
and I hear this
lady yell, "Dash!"
1151
01:05:53,025 --> 01:05:55,545
She runs up, and
she is so happy.
1152
01:05:55,648 --> 01:05:59,411
Then I thought, "How
could I be this embarrassed
1153
01:05:59,514 --> 01:06:02,208
about something that
makes people this happy?"
1154
01:06:05,556 --> 01:06:07,246
Loretta, you can do
whatever you want.
1155
01:06:07,351 --> 01:06:09,456
If you don't want to
write anymore, don't write.
1156
01:06:09,559 --> 01:06:14,047
But don't minimize the people that
love your work by calling it schlock.
1157
01:06:14,150 --> 01:06:16,704
That's not fair to them.
1158
01:06:17,913 --> 01:06:20,811
You know what's ironic? I thought
you of all people would know
1159
01:06:20,916 --> 01:06:23,367
not to judge a
book by its cover.
1160
01:06:27,440 --> 01:06:30,028
Judge a book by its cover model.
1161
01:07:01,507 --> 01:07:02,681
Alan?
1162
01:07:02,784 --> 01:07:04,063
Alan.
1163
01:07:16,039 --> 01:07:17,385
There's two of them.
1164
01:07:23,496 --> 01:07:26,188
Loretta! I'm over here! Alan!
1165
01:07:27,257 --> 01:07:30,329
Alan! Motorcycles and
guns, motorcycles and guns!
1166
01:07:30,434 --> 01:07:32,574
Come on, this way!
1167
01:07:32,677 --> 01:07:34,300
Stop shooting!
1168
01:07:39,545 --> 01:07:41,514
Just give 'em the
parchment! I can't.
1169
01:07:41,617 --> 01:07:44,275
Yes, you can, actually. You just
say, "Here," and throw it at 'em.
1170
01:07:44,378 --> 01:07:46,690
Right. And then I'm sure
they'll happily let us go.
1171
01:07:46,795 --> 01:07:48,797
Okay, keep down. How
do they keep finding us?
1172
01:07:48,900 --> 01:07:51,465
You're basically a walking disco
ball. We need to come up with a plan.
1173
01:07:51,489 --> 01:07:52,559
I have an idea.
1174
01:07:52,663 --> 01:07:54,192
We're gonna dig a
hole, throw our voices.
1175
01:07:54,215 --> 01:07:56,148
"We're over here." Can
you sound like a bird?
1176
01:07:56,253 --> 01:07:58,565
No, I have a plan. Alan,
please, I'm thinking.
1177
01:07:58,668 --> 01:08:02,362
I know, but I have a plan.
Please, just let me think about...
1178
01:08:02,465 --> 01:08:06,090
Wait a minute. They're shooting at
you. Yeah, that's why we're hiding.
1179
01:08:06,193 --> 01:08:08,505
No. No, no, no. They're
shooting only at you.
1180
01:08:08,610 --> 01:08:11,130
They won't shoot me. It's
my brain that's valuable.
1181
01:08:11,233 --> 01:08:15,099
What? I don't think you actually
hear the things you say sometimes.
1182
01:08:15,202 --> 01:08:17,895
Maybe I can shield you.
You are not shielding me.
1183
01:08:17,997 --> 01:08:20,242
I should be shielding you.
Why? Because I'm a woman?
1184
01:08:20,345 --> 01:08:23,466
That's supremely sexist. Well, look, I
don't think using women as human shields
1185
01:08:23,520 --> 01:08:26,247
is exactly the change that Gloria
Seinfeld had in mind, do you?
1186
01:08:26,351 --> 01:08:29,181
Gloria Steinem? Whatever.
Her too. You know what? Fine.
1187
01:08:29,286 --> 01:08:32,358
Please mansplain sexism to me
right now. Oh, my God. I am a woman.
1188
01:08:32,461 --> 01:08:34,567
I can't mansplain anything.
1189
01:08:34,670 --> 01:08:39,399
Uh, I'm a feminist, and I think a
woman can do anything a man can do.
1190
01:08:39,502 --> 01:08:41,983
We just need to stay here until
they get tired. I have an idea.
1191
01:08:42,056 --> 01:08:43,747
Please can I tell
you my plan? Alan!
1192
01:08:43,851 --> 01:08:47,166
This is not a situation you can
get out of by ripping your shirt off.
1193
01:08:47,269 --> 01:08:49,202
Not my shirt.
1194
01:09:20,646 --> 01:09:21,958
Three!
1195
01:09:22,061 --> 01:09:23,649
- Yes!
- Oh!
1196
01:09:27,757 --> 01:09:29,622
Oh.
1197
01:09:29,725 --> 01:09:32,970
That was different
than I had in my head.
1198
01:09:33,073 --> 01:09:37,145
I just wanted us to stop them. Could it
have been the wind that made it do that?
1199
01:09:37,250 --> 01:09:39,355
No, I think it was
us. I think... we did it.
1200
01:09:39,458 --> 01:09:41,875
We did the one guy,
right? But that was, like...
1201
01:09:41,979 --> 01:09:45,327
We just wanted him to stop. But I
think the other guy could've moved, really.
1202
01:09:45,430 --> 01:09:47,570
So, that was... That
one was on him.
1203
01:09:47,673 --> 01:09:50,538
Even if we weren't here,
that could've happened.
1204
01:09:50,643 --> 01:09:52,368
Why are you gonna
stop next to a cliff?
1205
01:09:52,471 --> 01:09:54,922
They were wearing
helmets, so maybe they're...
1206
01:09:55,025 --> 01:09:57,201
But the rest of their
body didn't have a helmet.
1207
01:09:57,305 --> 01:09:58,512
So there'd just be a head.
1208
01:09:58,615 --> 01:10:00,894
They were driving
recklessly, right?
1209
01:10:00,997 --> 01:10:02,724
Don't be mean on a bike.
1210
01:10:03,413 --> 01:10:05,173
Don't do mean stuff on a bike.
1211
01:10:08,970 --> 01:10:11,215
I mean, perhaps they're fine.
1212
01:10:11,319 --> 01:10:13,734
Yeah, probably
not. But that's okay.
1213
01:10:13,837 --> 01:10:18,118
That's all right. You know,
things happen. Let's go.
1214
01:10:20,328 --> 01:10:23,502
- You gonna put it back together?
- It's on loan.
1215
01:10:36,309 --> 01:10:38,622
Look at me.Okay.
1216
01:10:39,519 --> 01:10:41,555
What more can I do, you know?
1217
01:10:41,658 --> 01:10:43,591
You've done so
much already, Beth.
1218
01:10:43,695 --> 01:10:46,733
My poor, sweet, little
Nana has lost her sight.
1219
01:10:46,837 --> 01:10:49,564
The book release is
a complete disaster,
1220
01:10:49,667 --> 01:10:51,323
which I've leveraged
everything on,
1221
01:10:51,427 --> 01:10:53,774
so I'm probably, most
definitely broke right now.
1222
01:10:53,877 --> 01:10:57,122
And most importantly,
I've lost a writer.
1223
01:10:57,225 --> 01:10:58,779
Who does that?
Who loses a writer?
1224
01:10:58,882 --> 01:11:03,404
Okay, Beth, you remind
me of my best friend, Randy.
1225
01:11:03,509 --> 01:11:05,993
Always looking
out for other people,
1226
01:11:06,096 --> 01:11:08,444
never taking care of herself.
1227
01:11:09,445 --> 01:11:10,860
Isn't that right, Randy?
1228
01:11:13,381 --> 01:11:15,243
She's like my therapist,
this one over here.
1229
01:11:15,347 --> 01:11:17,453
LOL. "Laughing Out Loud."
1230
01:11:17,556 --> 01:11:19,524
After you take
care of your friend,
1231
01:11:20,421 --> 01:11:21,768
how about we go to a beach?
1232
01:11:21,872 --> 01:11:24,356
What? Look, I have
a pickup in Hawaii.
1233
01:11:24,461 --> 01:11:26,427
She doesn't have to come.
1234
01:11:26,532 --> 01:11:29,328
Okay! Okay, you can come!
1235
01:11:29,430 --> 01:11:31,432
She's hilarious.
1236
01:11:32,226 --> 01:11:34,055
Let me ask you something.
1237
01:11:34,159 --> 01:11:36,345
We're all sitting here chitchatting,
but who's flying the plane?
1238
01:11:36,368 --> 01:11:38,301
Autopilot. What?
1239
01:11:38,405 --> 01:11:41,131
Sir, go to the
cockpit, fly the plane.
1240
01:11:41,581 --> 01:11:42,582
Okay.
1241
01:11:43,341 --> 01:11:45,101
I'm going to go land the plane.
1242
01:11:45,204 --> 01:11:46,654
Okay.
1243
01:11:46,759 --> 01:11:48,679
No, no, no. Take the
goat. Please, take the goat.
1244
01:11:48,761 --> 01:11:51,418
She's on break.
Enjoy the flight!
1245
01:12:26,832 --> 01:12:28,179
Hi.Hola.
1246
01:12:32,631 --> 01:12:35,323
This English dude came in
and basically kidnapped her.
1247
01:12:37,465 --> 01:12:40,778
Hey, it's Beth. Please leave a
message, and I'll get right back to you.
1248
01:12:40,881 --> 01:12:43,747
Uh, hi, Beth.
1249
01:12:43,850 --> 01:12:44,850
It's me.
1250
01:12:44,954 --> 01:12:46,783
Uh, I'm alive!
1251
01:12:47,509 --> 01:12:49,546
Uh, listen, um...
1252
01:12:50,856 --> 01:12:51,893
Uh...
1253
01:12:53,341 --> 01:12:57,449
I'm sorry that I blew
up the book tour.
1254
01:12:57,554 --> 01:12:59,279
Um...
1255
01:12:59,382 --> 01:13:01,765
I was just afraid
1256
01:13:02,904 --> 01:13:04,560
and selfish. Uh...
1257
01:13:04,663 --> 01:13:07,390
Oh, here comes
Alan. I'll call you back.
1258
01:13:10,567 --> 01:13:13,569
So, uh, police are
searching for Fairfax,
1259
01:13:13,672 --> 01:13:16,123
and they're gonna provide
us protection while we're here.
1260
01:13:16,226 --> 01:13:18,056
Did they say how
long we'd be here?
1261
01:13:18,159 --> 01:13:20,818
They're gonna try to get us on a
puddle jumper later this evening.
1262
01:13:20,921 --> 01:13:23,203
But, uh, they said in the
meantime, the inn is really nice,
1263
01:13:23,234 --> 01:13:25,823
and we can get cleaned up
and maybe a change of clothes.
1264
01:13:25,926 --> 01:13:27,341
Okay.
1265
01:13:30,793 --> 01:13:32,346
Okay. Yeah.
1266
01:14:25,123 --> 01:14:26,573
Thank you.
1267
01:14:27,159 --> 01:14:30,404
Come on.
1268
01:14:30,509 --> 01:14:31,751
Dance with your husband.
1269
01:14:31,854 --> 01:14:33,649
No, no, no. He's not my husband.
1270
01:14:33,752 --> 01:14:35,479
It's okay. Dance with him.
1271
01:14:35,582 --> 01:14:38,068
No, no. She doesn't want to.
She doesn't have the right shoes.
1272
01:14:38,171 --> 01:14:40,690
Actually, it's the only thing
these shoes are right for.
1273
01:14:40,795 --> 01:14:43,037
You don't have to do this.
1274
01:14:43,141 --> 01:14:44,902
It's okay. It's okay.
1275
01:14:45,800 --> 01:14:46,800
Yeah?
1276
01:16:05,395 --> 01:16:07,087
I wonder what she's saying.
1277
01:16:09,469 --> 01:16:10,953
It's folklore.
1278
01:16:12,368 --> 01:16:14,404
Love song about a woman
1279
01:16:14,509 --> 01:16:17,823
whose lover died, and she
didn't want to leave his side.
1280
01:16:18,858 --> 01:16:21,689
So she laid down
and refused to get up.
1281
01:16:22,274 --> 01:16:24,036
Must be scary.
1282
01:16:24,139 --> 01:16:28,039
Having to face your future without
the person that you planned it with.
1283
01:16:40,396 --> 01:16:41,949
What was that?
1284
01:16:44,090 --> 01:16:47,748
Excuse me. Excuse me. The,
um... the last line that you sang.
1285
01:16:47,853 --> 01:16:50,199
¿Quién llorará junto a mí?
1286
01:16:53,134 --> 01:16:55,963
"The island will weep for me
in the well of endless tears."
1287
01:16:56,068 --> 01:16:59,449
What is that, the well of endless
tears? Is that a real place, or...
1288
01:16:59,554 --> 01:17:01,176
Sinkhole place.
1289
01:17:02,970 --> 01:17:04,697
Thank you. Gracias, gracias.
1290
01:17:04,801 --> 01:17:06,872
Come here, come
here. What is it?
1291
01:17:08,493 --> 01:17:10,323
Hey, on the parchment, it said,
1292
01:17:10,426 --> 01:17:14,500
"King Kalaman and his treasure
laid to rest in the well of endless tears."
1293
01:17:14,603 --> 01:17:16,708
I thought maybe
it was a metaphor.
1294
01:17:17,226 --> 01:17:18,779
It's not.
1295
01:17:18,884 --> 01:17:21,748
The Well of Endless
Tears is a place.
1296
01:17:21,851 --> 01:17:23,854
It's a sinkhole.
1297
01:17:23,957 --> 01:17:26,131
There's a sinkhole on the map.
1298
01:17:27,478 --> 01:17:29,238
I think the tomb is there.
1299
01:17:29,341 --> 01:17:31,724
This is so much better
than your books. What?
1300
01:17:31,828 --> 01:17:33,390
There's like... No, I
don't mean any offense.
1301
01:17:33,414 --> 01:17:35,314
I'm kidding. I'm
kidding. It's, like, equal.
1302
01:17:35,417 --> 01:17:37,706
I'm kidding. I'm kidding. Look
at you. You want to go there.
1303
01:17:37,729 --> 01:17:39,594
What? No.I can see. Yes, you do.
1304
01:17:39,698 --> 01:17:42,804
That would be insane. That
would be insane. I just... I just...
1305
01:17:42,908 --> 01:17:47,291
It's just that we're so close
to it, but, you know, we can't...
1306
01:17:47,395 --> 01:17:48,707
No.
1307
01:17:48,810 --> 01:17:51,502
This is your story. How
do you want to write it?
1308
01:17:52,296 --> 01:17:54,609
I'd like to know
that it's there,
1309
01:17:54,712 --> 01:17:56,368
that all this meant something.
1310
01:17:56,472 --> 01:17:58,337
Okay. Then let's go.
1311
01:17:58,439 --> 01:18:00,359
We'll stay one more day.
As soon as the sun's up,
1312
01:18:00,408 --> 01:18:02,207
we're gonna go find the
Well of Endless Tears.
1313
01:18:02,271 --> 01:18:05,136
But what if it's nothing? So
what? Then we say we tried.
1314
01:18:05,239 --> 01:18:06,483
And Fairfax?
1315
01:18:06,586 --> 01:18:09,002
The cops are after Fairfax.
Don't worry about him.
1316
01:18:10,106 --> 01:18:10,900
This is crazy.
1317
01:18:11,005 --> 01:18:12,695
Yeah, but look at you. What?
1318
01:18:12,800 --> 01:18:15,768
It's the very first time I've
ever seen you totally unafraid.
1319
01:18:16,389 --> 01:18:18,114
And alive.
1320
01:18:18,219 --> 01:18:20,738
I'm gonna go tell them our plans
have changed and find us a ride.
1321
01:18:20,841 --> 01:18:22,292
Where are you going?
1322
01:18:25,951 --> 01:18:28,021
I see you met my friend here.
1323
01:18:28,125 --> 01:18:32,509
He told me you were just
about to jump on a plane,
1324
01:18:32,612 --> 01:18:35,063
without so much
as saying goodbye.
1325
01:18:35,167 --> 01:18:38,583
I said, "No way. Not my Loretta.
1326
01:18:38,686 --> 01:18:43,140
Not when she's the only one
who can lead me to the tomb."
1327
01:18:46,556 --> 01:18:48,627
Stop squeezing so hard.
1328
01:18:49,457 --> 01:18:52,252
Ow. Get your hands off of me!
1329
01:18:53,115 --> 01:18:54,979
Ow! Let go!
1330
01:18:55,462 --> 01:18:56,671
I-I need a car.
1331
01:18:56,774 --> 01:18:58,707
A car, an auto. Does
anybody have an auto?
1332
01:19:07,198 --> 01:19:08,269
No, no. No.
1333
01:19:08,993 --> 01:19:10,305
I-I-I need an auto.
1334
01:19:10,408 --> 01:19:11,755
I'll trade you my watch.
1335
01:19:11,859 --> 01:19:13,353
It's a really expensive
watch. Do you have a car?
1336
01:19:13,377 --> 01:19:14,975
It's a Bulgari. This
thing glows in the dark.
1337
01:19:15,000 --> 01:19:16,795
It's waterproof. I
have motorcycle.
1338
01:19:30,394 --> 01:19:32,154
Cool, isn't it?
1339
01:19:32,257 --> 01:19:35,364
I always thought, why can't your
personal tank also have a minibar?
1340
01:19:35,467 --> 01:19:36,953
Have a drink.
1341
01:19:37,055 --> 01:19:38,609
Do you mind?
1342
01:19:38,712 --> 01:19:40,127
Uh, yes.
1343
01:19:40,231 --> 01:19:42,372
He has a bit of a grudge
against you, I'm afraid.
1344
01:19:42,475 --> 01:19:45,270
Something about a motorbike
accident his friends had?
1345
01:19:45,375 --> 01:19:46,547
Why are you doing this?
1346
01:19:46,652 --> 01:19:48,412
I want something
nobody else has.
1347
01:19:49,310 --> 01:19:51,139
When my father gifted...
1348
01:19:54,211 --> 01:19:55,729
As I was saying,
1349
01:19:55,833 --> 01:19:58,766
when my father gifted his empire
1350
01:19:58,871 --> 01:20:01,322
to my baby brother...
1351
01:20:08,363 --> 01:20:09,881
Who is that?
1352
01:20:18,614 --> 01:20:20,823
Is that a Ken doll on a moped?
1353
01:20:21,618 --> 01:20:23,136
I know him from somewhere.
1354
01:20:23,239 --> 01:20:24,896
Oh, I-I-I doubt that.
1355
01:20:25,001 --> 01:20:27,210
Because what you are looking at
1356
01:20:27,313 --> 01:20:30,212
is a highly trained
combat specialist,
1357
01:20:30,315 --> 01:20:33,905
forged in the furnaces
of Afghanistan, Iraq,
1358
01:20:34,010 --> 01:20:36,597
Kuwait, Sa... Sarasota...
1359
01:20:36,702 --> 01:20:38,773
Incredible skin. No
eczema problems.
1360
01:20:38,877 --> 01:20:42,569
And he will not
stop until I am safe!
1361
01:20:42,672 --> 01:20:44,882
So you pull this
space tank over,
1362
01:20:44,985 --> 01:20:48,127
unless you would like to
perish like his friends did.
1363
01:20:48,230 --> 01:20:51,648
And he is responsible
for their perishment.
1364
01:20:51,751 --> 01:20:54,444
He might not have meant to,
1365
01:20:54,546 --> 01:20:57,826
but they... perished, so...
1366
01:21:12,771 --> 01:21:14,015
Okay, who-who is this?
1367
01:21:14,118 --> 01:21:16,016
I have seen him
somewhere before.
1368
01:21:18,502 --> 01:21:19,744
No, no, no.
1369
01:21:19,847 --> 01:21:21,573
That's your cover
model, isn't it?
1370
01:21:21,677 --> 01:21:23,956
Yes. I knew I knew
him from somewhere.
1371
01:21:24,853 --> 01:21:25,923
Get up there.
1372
01:21:26,027 --> 01:21:27,408
And kill him creatively.
1373
01:21:27,511 --> 01:21:29,617
I love watching hunks fail.
1374
01:21:31,963 --> 01:21:34,207
I guess I-I will
have that drink.
1375
01:21:35,899 --> 01:21:37,176
Oh, shit.
1376
01:21:37,279 --> 01:21:39,833
Is it okay if I
just top 'er off?
1377
01:21:39,938 --> 01:21:41,110
Yeah, that's fine, but...
1378
01:21:41,215 --> 01:21:43,181
Oh, my God, have you
used a glass before?
1379
01:21:43,286 --> 01:21:44,631
Sorry.
1380
01:21:44,734 --> 01:21:46,220
What would Jack Trainer do?
1381
01:21:48,429 --> 01:21:49,498
It's hot in here.
1382
01:21:49,601 --> 01:21:52,604
Anyone else
feeling how hot it is?
1383
01:21:52,708 --> 01:21:53,779
Are you trying to be sexy?
1384
01:21:53,881 --> 01:21:55,676
This is very weird.
Please, stop.
1385
01:21:55,780 --> 01:21:57,679
I could set your world on fire.
1386
01:22:08,275 --> 01:22:10,588
Go to sleep! Go to sleep!
1387
01:22:10,692 --> 01:22:12,417
Go to sleep! Sleep!
1388
01:22:14,833 --> 01:22:16,663
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
1389
01:22:16,766 --> 01:22:18,045
Time-out.
1390
01:22:18,148 --> 01:22:19,148
Time-in!
1391
01:22:24,912 --> 01:22:27,743
No! Don't shoot her! I need her!
1392
01:22:29,400 --> 01:22:31,265
Oh, Jesus!
1393
01:22:31,368 --> 01:22:32,783
Ow, ow, ow.
1394
01:22:36,717 --> 01:22:39,135
Move your foot! Move your foot!
1395
01:22:42,207 --> 01:22:44,416
Go to sleep, asshole.
1396
01:22:44,519 --> 01:22:46,176
Get out there! Look!
1397
01:22:50,766 --> 01:22:52,078
A bigger guy?
1398
01:22:52,181 --> 01:22:53,390
Oh, no.
1399
01:22:54,735 --> 01:22:55,979
What?
1400
01:22:58,463 --> 01:22:59,463
Move it!
1401
01:23:01,122 --> 01:23:03,435
No, no, no. No, no, no.
1402
01:23:04,332 --> 01:23:06,230
Hey! Get in.
1403
01:23:06,747 --> 01:23:07,853
Him or me?
1404
01:23:11,960 --> 01:23:16,757
This is not one of your cheap,
vapid lady-fantasy books, Loretta.
1405
01:23:16,862 --> 01:23:18,828
This is real life.
1406
01:23:19,761 --> 01:23:21,625
And we will kill him.
1407
01:23:21,729 --> 01:23:23,454
Tell us where the tomb is.
1408
01:23:38,125 --> 01:23:39,435
Hi. So, whoever's in charge,
1409
01:23:39,539 --> 01:23:42,162
I need you to send
officials to go here.
1410
01:23:42,266 --> 01:23:43,371
Here.
1411
01:23:44,510 --> 01:23:46,340
We are closed.
1412
01:23:46,443 --> 01:23:47,788
You're closed?
1413
01:23:49,721 --> 01:23:52,828
You know I've been trying to
take a nap for a year and a half?
1414
01:23:52,931 --> 01:23:54,485
A year and a half.
1415
01:23:55,417 --> 01:23:58,524
I have been burning
the candle at both ends,
1416
01:23:58,627 --> 01:23:59,974
the midnight oil,
1417
01:24:00,078 --> 01:24:03,046
since way before my
friend got kidnapped.
1418
01:24:03,149 --> 01:24:05,012
And all I want to do
1419
01:24:05,565 --> 01:24:07,706
is kick my feet back
1420
01:24:07,809 --> 01:24:09,051
and drink some wine
1421
01:24:09,155 --> 01:24:11,537
that I'm probably
too tired to drink.
1422
01:24:11,640 --> 01:24:13,573
And I want a massage.
1423
01:24:13,676 --> 01:24:18,337
I want someone to massage
my shoulders and my feet,
1424
01:24:18,440 --> 01:24:20,476
and I want it at the same time.
1425
01:24:20,581 --> 01:24:24,274
And I don't care if logistically
that doesn't make sense.
1426
01:24:24,377 --> 01:24:27,034
Because I have worked hard.
1427
01:24:27,898 --> 01:24:30,349
The same way that I
know that you have.
1428
01:24:31,247 --> 01:24:33,456
So I hate to ask you
1429
01:24:33,559 --> 01:24:35,940
to leave this place
open a few more minutes,
1430
01:24:36,043 --> 01:24:37,976
because if we don't,
1431
01:24:38,081 --> 01:24:41,636
a very close friend of
mine and her cover model
1432
01:24:41,739 --> 01:24:43,500
are going to die.
1433
01:25:06,350 --> 01:25:07,904
No good way in, boss!
1434
01:25:08,006 --> 01:25:10,148
What about the caves?
1435
01:25:10,907 --> 01:25:12,252
That's too dangerous!
1436
01:25:12,356 --> 01:25:15,359
Well, we'll be
very careful then.
1437
01:25:28,925 --> 01:25:30,237
Well, come on!
1438
01:25:34,930 --> 01:25:36,760
This way. I have a rule about
1439
01:25:36,863 --> 01:25:38,382
not going into
super creepy caves.
1440
01:25:49,738 --> 01:25:52,672
Julian? His name is Julian?
1441
01:25:52,775 --> 01:25:55,640
He seems more like
a Buck or a Bruce.
1442
01:25:55,744 --> 01:25:57,229
Lead the way.
1443
01:26:00,921 --> 01:26:03,304
Go on. Don't be scared.
1444
01:26:33,057 --> 01:26:34,853
Watch your step there.
1445
01:26:34,956 --> 01:26:36,130
Bruce!
1446
01:26:36,234 --> 01:26:37,234
Julian. Oh, no! Julian!
1447
01:26:37,337 --> 01:26:38,960
Whoa.
1448
01:26:39,064 --> 01:26:40,582
Whoa.
1449
01:26:41,238 --> 01:26:42,722
Well...
1450
01:26:43,551 --> 01:26:45,277
Let's not have his
death be in vain.
1451
01:26:45,381 --> 01:26:48,141
- Onward and upward.
- What do you mean onward?
1452
01:26:48,246 --> 01:26:50,695
We're not gonna go
and get him now, are we?
1453
01:26:50,800 --> 01:26:52,215
Oh, man.
1454
01:27:04,606 --> 01:27:06,264
It's nothing. Okay.
1455
01:27:06,367 --> 01:27:09,059
Yeah. Look, let's just
go back to the boat.
1456
01:27:09,162 --> 01:27:11,027
This is over. Nobody
else has to die.
1457
01:27:11,130 --> 01:27:13,305
No, no, no. Ha-ha!
It's a breeze.
1458
01:27:13,408 --> 01:27:15,859
There's a tunnel. This
could lead to the tomb.
1459
01:27:15,962 --> 01:27:17,842
That's not person-sized.
Ah, speak for yourself.
1460
01:27:17,930 --> 01:27:20,207
Come on. It's
practically a kiddie slide.
1461
01:27:20,311 --> 01:27:22,625
More like a rock
sphincter. Or a troll anus.
1462
01:27:22,728 --> 01:27:25,109
All right, well, you are
going through the anus...
1463
01:27:25,212 --> 01:27:26,524
The hole... the tunnel!
1464
01:27:26,628 --> 01:27:28,631
Why her? You are our
canary in the coal mine.
1465
01:27:28,734 --> 01:27:30,149
No, that's impossible. I can't.
1466
01:27:30,252 --> 01:27:31,733
Please let us know
if you get through.
1467
01:27:31,805 --> 01:27:34,118
If we don't hear from
you, Fabio's got to die.
1468
01:27:34,221 --> 01:27:36,396
Wait, I'm the
damsel in distress?
1469
01:27:37,087 --> 01:27:38,329
It's okay. I'm fine.
1470
01:28:14,365 --> 01:28:16,817
I can't. I'm so sorry. I can't.
1471
01:28:16,920 --> 01:28:18,645
- Hey.
- What?
1472
01:28:19,371 --> 01:28:21,338
Hey, you smell that?
1473
01:28:21,442 --> 01:28:24,376
You mean centuries worth of bat
feces? Yes, I definitely smell that.
1474
01:28:24,479 --> 01:28:26,689
You gotta take a
big breath for me.
1475
01:28:31,796 --> 01:28:33,177
There you go.
1476
01:28:33,280 --> 01:28:35,145
You can do it, Loretta.
1477
01:28:48,088 --> 01:28:50,850
I think I see a way out.
1478
01:28:54,405 --> 01:28:56,614
Oh, cheese and rice!
1479
01:29:01,309 --> 01:29:02,655
I made it!
1480
01:29:02,759 --> 01:29:04,243
I made it!
1481
01:29:04,346 --> 01:29:06,832
See? Totally safe.
1482
01:29:07,832 --> 01:29:08,903
Go on. Your turn.
1483
01:29:10,595 --> 01:29:13,493
I'm coming through!
Be right there, okay?
1484
01:30:17,662 --> 01:30:19,801
Why would they build this here?
1485
01:30:20,905 --> 01:30:22,631
But how is anyone
supposed to worship
1486
01:30:22,735 --> 01:30:24,426
or remember you if
they can't even see it?
1487
01:30:24,530 --> 01:30:26,394
They aren't.
1488
01:30:26,497 --> 01:30:29,466
This isn't a monument
to Kalaman's power.
1489
01:30:30,570 --> 01:30:33,159
It's a hiding place
for a grieving woman.
1490
01:30:33,262 --> 01:30:36,715
Taha came here to
be with her fallen lover.
1491
01:30:38,372 --> 01:30:39,822
She just wanted to be alone.
1492
01:30:41,479 --> 01:30:42,997
Taha doesn't want us here.
1493
01:30:43,100 --> 01:30:44,447
God, shut up, Rafi.
1494
01:30:44,551 --> 01:30:46,413
It's just the volcano.
1495
01:30:48,070 --> 01:30:49,382
Come on.
1496
01:30:54,525 --> 01:30:56,182
We have to keep going.
1497
01:31:04,363 --> 01:31:06,020
All right. Let's go, Muscles.
1498
01:31:06,814 --> 01:31:08,644
Open it up.
1499
01:31:08,747 --> 01:31:11,198
- Don't disturb them.
- She will be wearing the headdress.
1500
01:31:11,301 --> 01:31:13,890
Come on. We didn't come all
this way just to pay our respects.
1501
01:31:13,993 --> 01:31:15,650
I can't, um...
1502
01:31:18,412 --> 01:31:20,621
Uh... I'm sorry, abuela.
1503
01:31:41,849 --> 01:31:43,161
What is that?
1504
01:31:45,301 --> 01:31:47,716
Are those... seashells?
1505
01:31:48,475 --> 01:31:51,341
The crown is made of seashells?
1506
01:31:51,444 --> 01:31:52,997
Where's the treasure?
1507
01:31:53,998 --> 01:31:55,448
She's holding him.
1508
01:31:58,244 --> 01:32:00,005
You mean the dead guy?
1509
01:32:06,529 --> 01:32:07,737
Look.
1510
01:32:09,738 --> 01:32:11,465
It's their courtship.
1511
01:32:11,569 --> 01:32:15,469
Kalaman is searching
the island for something.
1512
01:32:18,298 --> 01:32:19,886
Rare red seashells.
1513
01:32:19,990 --> 01:32:24,996
To prove his love, he gave her
one shell every day for a year
1514
01:32:25,099 --> 01:32:26,653
and made them into a crown,
1515
01:32:26,756 --> 01:32:29,551
bright red like the
flame of their love,
1516
01:32:29,655 --> 01:32:33,037
until the day came where
she accepted his proposal.
1517
01:32:33,141 --> 01:32:34,902
It was never about jewels.
1518
01:32:35,006 --> 01:32:38,734
Kalaman and Taha's
riches weren't material.
1519
01:32:40,667 --> 01:32:42,600
It was their love.
1520
01:32:42,703 --> 01:32:45,050
That's what it meant.
That was enough.
1521
01:32:45,154 --> 01:32:46,362
So that's it?
1522
01:32:47,259 --> 01:32:50,158
All of that time and money
1523
01:32:50,987 --> 01:32:54,577
spent on, what, just
a cheap metaphor?
1524
01:32:54,680 --> 01:32:57,475
It's a pretty rich
metaphor. Oh, shut up!
1525
01:32:57,579 --> 01:32:59,617
We got to go. We got to go now.
1526
01:32:59,720 --> 01:33:02,895
-Come on. Let's go.
-No, no, no. You are staying here.
1527
01:33:02,998 --> 01:33:05,069
You think it's all so
sweet and poetic.
1528
01:33:05,173 --> 01:33:07,658
Well, then you can stay here
and spend your last moments
1529
01:33:07,762 --> 01:33:10,697
pondering the richness
of that metaphor.
1530
01:33:11,386 --> 01:33:13,664
- Get in.
- What? Come on, man.
1531
01:33:13,769 --> 01:33:16,219
-Oh, God. Just get in. Get in the tomb.
-Okay, okay.
1532
01:33:16,323 --> 01:33:18,945
It's better to be buried alive
than buried dead, I guess.
1533
01:33:19,050 --> 01:33:22,328
- It's really not.
- You know, it is a shame, really.
1534
01:33:22,431 --> 01:33:23,951
This is a hell of a story.
1535
01:33:24,055 --> 01:33:26,747
Pity you won't be
around to tell it. Come on.
1536
01:33:26,850 --> 01:33:28,438
- But they'll die.
- So will you
1537
01:33:28,542 --> 01:33:31,131
if you don't stop being such
a snowflake! Get over here!
1538
01:33:40,726 --> 01:33:42,729
This is fine. This is
not an active nightmare
1539
01:33:42,832 --> 01:33:44,488
I've had since I
was 14 years old.
1540
01:33:46,248 --> 01:33:47,734
Ow!
1541
01:33:47,837 --> 01:33:51,564
Why are you going
so fast? It's not a race.
1542
01:33:56,569 --> 01:33:58,882
Wait, no! What are you
doing? Come back here!
1543
01:33:58,985 --> 01:34:03,680
You may have bought the island,
but now the island owns you!
1544
01:34:04,542 --> 01:34:06,028
You can't just leave me here!
1545
01:34:08,064 --> 01:34:10,445
Rafi! Come back!
1546
01:34:12,619 --> 01:34:14,036
I need a boat!
1547
01:34:23,458 --> 01:34:25,564
Hey, hey, stop! Stop!
1548
01:34:27,565 --> 01:34:29,430
Help! Help!
1549
01:34:29,533 --> 01:34:31,639
One of the locals
just stole my boat!
1550
01:34:31,743 --> 01:34:33,502
Have you seen a woman?
1551
01:34:33,606 --> 01:34:36,713
She's a brunette in
a sequined jumpsuit.
1552
01:34:36,817 --> 01:34:40,820
No. Is she in some
sort of trouble?
1553
01:34:52,488 --> 01:34:54,213
It's kind of funny.
1554
01:34:55,628 --> 01:34:57,423
I used to think this...
1555
01:34:57,527 --> 01:34:59,426
this sort of thing
was so romantic.
1556
01:34:59,529 --> 01:35:00,909
Yeah?
1557
01:35:01,014 --> 01:35:04,362
Being locked in a coffin
about to be buried by lava,
1558
01:35:04,465 --> 01:35:07,054
or... cuddling dead people?
1559
01:35:07,847 --> 01:35:10,920
Just laying down
with a lost love.
1560
01:35:11,024 --> 01:35:12,231
Like Taha did.
1561
01:35:14,786 --> 01:35:15,993
God.Oh...
1562
01:35:16,581 --> 01:35:17,962
Oh, God.
1563
01:35:18,064 --> 01:35:20,274
I'm sorry.
1564
01:35:20,377 --> 01:35:22,828
I'm sorry that I
couldn't save you.
1565
01:35:22,931 --> 01:35:24,899
I'm sorry I couldn't be Dash.
1566
01:35:25,485 --> 01:35:26,764
You're right.
1567
01:35:27,798 --> 01:35:29,351
You're nothing like Dash.
1568
01:35:29,456 --> 01:35:32,493
You didn't ride in on a
white horse to save me.
1569
01:35:32,596 --> 01:35:37,981
You rode in on a... borrowed
scooter with a broken muffler.
1570
01:35:39,362 --> 01:35:40,778
Yeah.
1571
01:35:40,881 --> 01:35:43,780
I never could've
written a Dash like you.
1572
01:35:45,679 --> 01:35:47,612
'Cause I never knew
1573
01:35:48,301 --> 01:35:50,096
a Dash like Alan.
1574
01:35:50,201 --> 01:35:52,650
I was so afraid of
being hurt by life again
1575
01:35:52,755 --> 01:35:54,136
that I just stopped living.
1576
01:35:54,238 --> 01:35:56,240
Couldn't see the good
things in front of me.
1577
01:35:56,345 --> 01:35:59,831
I'm just so sorry I
didn't see you sooner.
1578
01:36:00,797 --> 01:36:02,523
I have a confession too.
1579
01:36:02,627 --> 01:36:06,527
See, I was really liking where
this new story of ours was headed.
1580
01:36:06,631 --> 01:36:09,841
I just wanted to see how it
was gonna turn out, I guess.
1581
01:36:11,153 --> 01:36:13,707
The Adventures
of Loretta and Alan.
1582
01:36:15,813 --> 01:36:17,744
No, it would need a
better title than that.
1583
01:36:17,849 --> 01:36:19,817
Yeah, definitely. Definitely.
1584
01:36:20,956 --> 01:36:24,752
Sorry. Just... Taha's
femur is poking me.
1585
01:36:28,445 --> 01:36:30,206
Rafi must have left that.
1586
01:36:30,310 --> 01:36:32,829
How do you forget your
crowbar? It's gonna help us escape.
1587
01:36:32,932 --> 01:36:34,555
No, he left it on purpose.
1588
01:36:34,658 --> 01:36:36,350
Oh, cool. I always liked him.
1589
01:36:36,453 --> 01:36:37,868
One... Okay.
1590
01:36:37,972 --> 01:36:39,801
Two, three! Okay.
1591
01:36:39,905 --> 01:36:43,841
I would've preferred him to not
leave us here in the first place, but...
1592
01:36:44,530 --> 01:36:45,530
Okay.
1593
01:37:06,414 --> 01:37:08,623
Dulcius ex asperis.
1594
01:37:12,972 --> 01:37:14,872
Sweeter after difficulty.
1595
01:37:21,498 --> 01:37:22,948
Go up! Run for the trees!
1596
01:37:24,157 --> 01:37:27,055
Wait. Nope. Never
mind. Trees are on fire.
1597
01:37:27,505 --> 01:37:29,195
Okay.
1598
01:37:30,783 --> 01:37:32,648
We can go back
through the tunnel.
1599
01:37:33,613 --> 01:37:34,891
Nope. Tunnel's a no-go.
1600
01:37:40,000 --> 01:37:41,967
Um, okay. I'm
open to other ideas.
1601
01:37:42,070 --> 01:37:45,626
There's a current. We
can follow it into the ocean.
1602
01:37:45,729 --> 01:37:47,351
How do we know
what's on the other side?
1603
01:37:47,869 --> 01:37:48,939
We don't.
1604
01:37:50,769 --> 01:37:52,909
There's only one
way to find out.
1605
01:37:54,462 --> 01:37:56,119
Worth the rash. Yeah?
1606
01:38:17,105 --> 01:38:18,106
Alan?
1607
01:38:26,564 --> 01:38:27,805
Alan!
1608
01:39:05,257 --> 01:39:06,259
Alan?
1609
01:39:06,362 --> 01:39:09,055
A... Alan?
1610
01:39:10,262 --> 01:39:11,264
Alan!
1611
01:39:14,542 --> 01:39:16,269
Oh, my God! You're alive!
1612
01:39:16,372 --> 01:39:18,615
I'm alive. Oh, my God.
I thought I killed you.
1613
01:39:21,583 --> 01:39:22,583
Is that Beth?
1614
01:39:22,654 --> 01:39:23,896
Loretta!
1615
01:39:24,518 --> 01:39:25,692
Beth!
1616
01:39:25,795 --> 01:39:27,452
Beth! Beth!
1617
01:39:27,555 --> 01:39:28,797
Beth!
1618
01:39:34,458 --> 01:39:35,840
Beth, you're here!
1619
01:39:36,496 --> 01:39:37,703
Why are you here?
1620
01:39:37,806 --> 01:39:40,603
I told you I got
your back, girl!
1621
01:39:41,189 --> 01:39:42,984
I'm so sorry!
1622
01:39:43,088 --> 01:39:45,194
I destroyed the jumpsuit!
1623
01:39:45,643 --> 01:39:46,644
What?
1624
01:39:46,747 --> 01:39:49,266
Never mind! Later.
1625
01:39:49,371 --> 01:39:51,372
I found a British guy in a cave.
1626
01:39:51,475 --> 01:39:53,961
I thought he was a little
boy, but he has a full beard.
1627
01:39:54,064 --> 01:39:57,344
Beth, that's Fairfax!
He kidnapped us!
1628
01:39:57,448 --> 01:40:00,208
He's a bad guy, Beth!
He killed my trainer!
1629
01:40:00,313 --> 01:40:01,314
Get him!
1630
01:40:01,831 --> 01:40:03,005
Stop him!
1631
01:40:10,840 --> 01:40:13,050
I got your back, girl.
1632
01:40:15,189 --> 01:40:17,157
Where were you
running? It's a boat.
1633
01:40:17,261 --> 01:40:18,779
This guy's hilarious.
1634
01:40:18,882 --> 01:40:20,609
Got you.
1635
01:40:20,712 --> 01:40:21,988
Swim over to the rock!
1636
01:40:22,092 --> 01:40:24,163
I don't got you. No,
I got you. I got you.
1637
01:40:24,268 --> 01:40:26,166
We're gonna get you.
It's gonna be okay.
1638
01:40:26,270 --> 01:40:28,858
"Finding refuge
on a nearby rock,
1639
01:40:28,962 --> 01:40:31,068
he lifted her from the water,
1640
01:40:31,171 --> 01:40:34,346
his powerful arms
pulling her body close.
1641
01:40:34,449 --> 01:40:35,588
Alan whispered..."
1642
01:40:35,693 --> 01:40:38,247
Shh. You're safe now.
1643
01:40:40,662 --> 01:40:45,323
"In that moment, Loretta could feel
a new adventure was just beginning."
1644
01:40:46,600 --> 01:40:49,257
"The heart-pounding
passion of the narrow escape
1645
01:40:49,362 --> 01:40:52,296
only inflamed
Loretta's desire for him.
1646
01:40:52,399 --> 01:40:56,609
She was thirsty for the hot lava
soon to be pulsing from his..."
1647
01:40:56,713 --> 01:41:00,304
Don't you go stopping
right at the good part.
1648
01:41:01,649 --> 01:41:03,479
It's nothing she
hasn't read before.
1649
01:41:03,582 --> 01:41:04,962
Didn't I tell you?
1650
01:41:05,067 --> 01:41:08,069
The most beautiful
beach in the world.
1651
01:41:08,173 --> 01:41:11,487
Maybe later, I'll show you
the Cove of Enchantment?
1652
01:41:11,591 --> 01:41:13,179
No, you can take Randy.
1653
01:41:13,282 --> 01:41:16,940
Remember, you are
my platonic man friend.
1654
01:41:17,043 --> 01:41:20,082
Platonic? I like
the sound of that.
1655
01:41:20,185 --> 01:41:22,842
Not sure what it means,
but I like the sound of it.
1656
01:41:22,947 --> 01:41:25,155
Here you go, Randy.
1657
01:41:26,916 --> 01:41:29,229
My dear. You are
an angel. Thank you.
1658
01:41:29,885 --> 01:41:31,300
How did you know?
1659
01:41:43,208 --> 01:41:46,003
Nice way to end a book
tour, right? Mm-hmm.
1660
01:41:46,556 --> 01:41:48,386
Um...
1661
01:41:48,489 --> 01:41:52,734
You know, I have a phrase I like to
use in moments like these, actually.
1662
01:41:52,838 --> 01:41:54,081
Um...
1663
01:41:55,565 --> 01:41:56,980
Quid deinde?
1664
01:41:58,119 --> 01:42:01,296
It's Latin. It means,
uh, "What's next?"
1665
01:42:03,194 --> 01:42:04,712
Quid cogitas?
1666
01:42:04,815 --> 01:42:06,197
Mmm.
1667
01:42:06,921 --> 01:42:08,095
Buca di Beppo.
1668
01:42:11,512 --> 01:42:13,170
Yeah. I know zero
other Latin.No. Yes.
1669
01:42:13,273 --> 01:42:16,207
I looked it up for this
moment right now.
1670
01:42:17,034 --> 01:42:19,176
So, what does come next?
1671
01:42:19,279 --> 01:42:21,764
How would you write
this? I don't know.
1672
01:42:21,868 --> 01:42:24,421
How would you write it? Do
we really want me to write this?
1673
01:42:24,525 --> 01:42:26,872
Just try. Take a stab
at it.Okay. I'll write it.
1674
01:42:26,975 --> 01:42:28,323
Okay.
1675
01:42:28,426 --> 01:42:31,429
"We were... They were,
uh... standing on a beach."
1676
01:42:31,533 --> 01:42:33,545
Sets the stage for the audience.
They know where we are.
1677
01:42:33,569 --> 01:42:35,444
You're already laughing.
Why are you laughing at me?
1678
01:42:35,467 --> 01:42:37,262
I'm not laughing.
I'm smiling. You are.
1679
01:42:37,365 --> 01:42:41,369
"There are palm
trees above a brown
1680
01:42:42,233 --> 01:42:44,855
bark-like hair of the maiden.
1681
01:42:44,960 --> 01:42:46,823
"There is a dead jellyfish..."
1682
01:42:46,926 --> 01:42:49,457
All you're doing is describing what
you're actually seeing right now.
1683
01:42:49,481 --> 01:42:52,311
"He's nervous because
he really likes her."
1684
01:42:53,175 --> 01:42:55,212
It's nice writing.
1685
01:42:55,314 --> 01:42:56,627
Thanks. You're welcome.
1686
01:42:56,729 --> 01:42:57,835
I'll keep going.
1687
01:42:57,938 --> 01:42:59,525
"He looked deep in her eyes."
1688
01:42:59,630 --> 01:43:03,081
The only thing that could
compare to the pulse of that ocean
1689
01:43:03,875 --> 01:43:05,024
"was the throbbing in the..."
1690
01:43:05,048 --> 01:43:08,154
Okay, no, you can't
throb. Why not?
1691
01:43:08,259 --> 01:43:09,984
Can't come out of
the gate with a throb.
1692
01:43:10,087 --> 01:43:12,480
You throb all the time. I don't
come out of the gate with it.
1693
01:43:12,505 --> 01:43:14,483
You have to earn the throb.
Who made you the queen of throb?
1694
01:43:14,506 --> 01:43:18,199
It's usually a chapter four thing. You
want it brought up appropriately in four.
1695
01:43:18,304 --> 01:43:20,408
I think you throb in all
the chapters. "Pulsating."
1696
01:43:20,512 --> 01:43:22,445
It's a precursor to throb.
1697
01:43:22,548 --> 01:43:24,654
"Undulating." You
just jumped to five.
1698
01:43:24,757 --> 01:43:27,622
How 'bout they just kiss? Why
not? Just like a regular kiss?
1699
01:43:27,726 --> 01:43:29,591
Yeah. Like a
beginning-of-the-chapter kiss.
1700
01:43:29,694 --> 01:43:31,282
I'm good at starting...
1701
01:43:35,148 --> 01:43:36,631
How was that? Any notes?
1702
01:43:37,391 --> 01:43:40,774
Very good first chapter attempt.
1703
01:45:06,032 --> 01:45:07,515
Psst!
1704
01:45:08,171 --> 01:45:09,655
Psst.
1705
01:45:10,622 --> 01:45:11,623
Psst.
1706
01:45:13,694 --> 01:45:14,694
Mother...
1707
01:45:14,765 --> 01:45:16,490
You were dead.
1708
01:45:16,594 --> 01:45:19,458
Your brains came out of your
face and hit the back of my throat.
1709
01:45:19,563 --> 01:45:22,117
- He was in my mouth.
- Don't say he was in your mouth.
1710
01:45:22,220 --> 01:45:23,899
- I could taste you.
- Don't ever say that.
1711
01:45:23,945 --> 01:45:29,123
We only use 10% of our brain,
so I just switched to another 10%.
1712
01:45:29,226 --> 01:45:32,057
So, you're okay?
1713
01:45:32,161 --> 01:45:33,853
One hundred percent.
1714
01:45:33,956 --> 01:45:35,440
Meaning 10%.
1715
01:45:35,543 --> 01:45:37,304
We thought you were dead.
1716
01:45:37,408 --> 01:45:40,135
Naturally, I have some
anger issues I need to let go of.
1717
01:45:40,238 --> 01:45:42,586
Of course. And resentment.
1718
01:45:44,484 --> 01:45:45,829
So good to see you, man.
1719
01:45:45,934 --> 01:45:48,005
Okay, let's keep
the chatter down.
1720
01:45:48,108 --> 01:45:52,492
We're closing our eyes and
reconnecting to our breath.
1721
01:45:53,561 --> 01:45:54,667
Great.
1722
01:45:55,494 --> 01:45:56,496
Great.
130136
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