All language subtitles for The Lost City (2022 WEBRip CP
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1
00:00:50,806 --> 00:00:52,359
You were incredible.
2
00:00:53,015 --> 00:00:55,224
My heart is still racing.
3
00:00:56,674 --> 00:00:58,434
I felt it too.
4
00:00:58,538 --> 00:01:00,471
All thanks to your
brute strength, Dash,
5
00:01:00,574 --> 00:01:03,715
and your knowledge
of ancient Aramaic mathematics.
6
00:01:03,819 --> 00:01:06,718
Please. This has nothing to do
with my two doctorates
7
00:01:06,822 --> 00:01:08,893
and my master's
in Gender Studies
8
00:01:09,790 --> 00:01:12,759
and everything to do
with you, Dr. Lovemore.
9
00:01:13,208 --> 00:01:15,106
The truth is,
10
00:01:15,210 --> 00:01:17,591
I never thought I would find
the Lost City of D.
11
00:01:17,695 --> 00:01:20,629
I would
choose your words carefully.
12
00:01:20,732 --> 00:01:22,493
They will be your last.
13
00:01:22,596 --> 00:01:26,359
You led me right
to King Kalaman's tomb
14
00:01:26,462 --> 00:01:30,052
and his queen's
legendary Crown of Fire.
15
00:01:30,156 --> 00:01:33,055
And now I will be very rich,
16
00:01:33,159 --> 00:01:35,851
and you will be very dead.
17
00:01:36,783 --> 00:01:40,166
Hold up. Are these...
Are these your snakes?
18
00:01:40,269 --> 00:01:41,891
No, they were just here.
19
00:01:41,995 --> 00:01:44,446
There were just hundreds
of snakes in this temple
20
00:01:44,549 --> 00:01:46,413
just waiting for us to show up?
21
00:01:46,517 --> 00:01:48,622
Who feeds them? You feed them?
No, what do they eat?
22
00:01:48,726 --> 00:01:51,007
Why is that one not biting that guy?
Why is that happening?
23
00:01:51,038 --> 00:01:53,903
- Are they trained not to bite henchmen or something?
- Yeah, well...
24
00:01:54,007 --> 00:01:56,285
I mean, the snake-to-temple
ratio alone...
25
00:01:56,389 --> 00:01:58,839
This is ridiculous.
Delete.
26
00:02:00,117 --> 00:02:02,015
I... I think my character
can still work.
27
00:02:02,119 --> 00:02:03,844
Delete.
28
00:02:03,948 --> 00:02:06,123
Loretta, you still have
a story to write.
29
00:02:06,813 --> 00:02:08,125
Delete.
30
00:02:10,506 --> 00:02:12,370
Hey, it's me, Beth.
31
00:02:12,474 --> 00:02:14,969
I don't want to pull the whole "I'm
your publisher" card, but I am.
32
00:02:14,993 --> 00:02:17,341
And I'm really looking forward
to seeing this last chapter.
33
00:02:17,444 --> 00:02:19,481
But no pressure.
No, there actually is pressure.
34
00:02:19,584 --> 00:02:23,761
The exact amount of pressure that
motivates you but doesn't paralyze you.
35
00:02:23,864 --> 00:02:25,245
You got this.
36
00:02:26,798 --> 00:02:27,798
Thank you.
37
00:02:27,868 --> 00:02:29,905
Me again.
38
00:02:30,008 --> 00:02:31,872
Okay, so everything
is set for the book tour,
39
00:02:31,976 --> 00:02:34,806
but, uh, the only thing we need
is a book to tour with.
40
00:02:34,910 --> 00:02:37,130
I can't help but get the feeling
that you're not finishing
41
00:02:37,154 --> 00:02:39,604
because you don't want
to leave your house.
42
00:02:39,708 --> 00:02:44,885
Listen, I know these last five years
have been hard after John's passing,
43
00:02:44,989 --> 00:02:48,372
and it feels easier
to live in your bathtub,
44
00:02:48,475 --> 00:02:51,133
drinking Chardonnay on ice.
45
00:02:51,237 --> 00:02:54,032
But, girl, there is a great
big world waiting for you
46
00:02:54,136 --> 00:02:57,139
and a book tour that I can't cancel,
so just make it happen, all right?
47
00:02:57,243 --> 00:02:58,485
Love you, bye!
48
00:03:17,504 --> 00:03:19,023
We have to keep going.
49
00:03:20,058 --> 00:03:22,544
Let's see what's on the
other side of that door.
50
00:03:22,647 --> 00:03:24,753
But what if
there isn't anything?
51
00:03:25,512 --> 00:03:27,583
There's only one way
to find out.
52
00:03:28,481 --> 00:03:30,414
Then Lovemore realized
53
00:03:30,517 --> 00:03:32,795
the treasure she wanted
was lost forever
54
00:03:32,899 --> 00:03:35,281
and her adventures
were coming to an end.
55
00:03:35,384 --> 00:03:36,523
That doesn't feel right.
56
00:03:36,627 --> 00:03:38,422
Yeah, but that's it.
57
00:03:38,525 --> 00:03:39,975
That's the end.
58
00:03:49,018 --> 00:03:50,572
Well, John,
59
00:03:51,158 --> 00:03:52,263
here I go.
60
00:03:52,367 --> 00:03:54,645
Dulcius ex asperis.
61
00:04:01,168 --> 00:04:03,930
Okay, honey, it's showtime.
- Are you sure about this?
62
00:04:04,033 --> 00:04:07,623
Because I have a wedgie in the back
and in the front in this thing.
63
00:04:07,727 --> 00:04:09,970
I feel like
a nerdy figure skater.
64
00:04:10,074 --> 00:04:12,766
Sexy. Stunner.
I'm all about it. No, it's not. It's not.
65
00:04:12,870 --> 00:04:14,803
- How do I move in this?
- Don't touch it.
66
00:04:14,906 --> 00:04:17,195
I'm not touching it.
I'm holding it out. Stop it. Will you stop?
67
00:04:17,219 --> 00:04:19,394
Get it out now 'cause you
can't do that onstage.
68
00:04:19,497 --> 00:04:22,189
And we're done.
And we're done. Okay, good.
69
00:04:22,293 --> 00:04:24,191
Do I need to be wearing
a glitter onesie?
70
00:04:24,295 --> 00:04:25,824
You only have to wear this
for two hours.
71
00:04:25,848 --> 00:04:27,888
Do not mess this up, do you hear me?
This is on loan.
72
00:04:27,919 --> 00:04:29,921
Everyone's wearing
sequins right now.
73
00:04:31,440 --> 00:04:33,511
Why is she taking my photo?
This is Allison.
74
00:04:33,615 --> 00:04:35,927
She is our new
social media manager.
75
00:04:36,031 --> 00:04:38,861
And she's gonna be helping us
target that younger demographic.
76
00:04:38,965 --> 00:04:41,450
Meaning women in their 30s
who wish they were in their 20s.
77
00:04:41,554 --> 00:04:43,072
Hey, what's up?
78
00:04:43,176 --> 00:04:46,524
Um, I took over your socials,
so this morning you tweeted,
79
00:04:46,628 --> 00:04:51,805
"Where are my ladies at? Meet
me at Ballroom G at-00 p.m."
80
00:04:51,909 --> 00:04:53,359
#ShawnMendes.
81
00:04:53,462 --> 00:04:56,327
"#GaggingToMeetYouAll."
82
00:04:56,431 --> 00:04:58,985
Okay, we are having fun.
Let's go.
83
00:04:59,088 --> 00:05:02,057
We need to remind people
that you are still alive.
84
00:05:02,160 --> 00:05:03,576
People know I'm alive.
85
00:05:03,679 --> 00:05:05,647
And to remind them
why this used to be
86
00:05:05,750 --> 00:05:07,821
the best selling franchise. In Romance.
87
00:05:07,925 --> 00:05:10,548
Yes, which is the top
revenue-generating literary category.
88
00:05:10,652 --> 00:05:13,517
Revenue-generating isn't how I would
describe our presales right now.
89
00:05:13,620 --> 00:05:15,760
Just think of this as a way
that uses word of mouth.
90
00:05:15,864 --> 00:05:17,566
Oh, you want word of mouth?
Here we go. How's this?
91
00:05:17,590 --> 00:05:20,386
"The only thing more lost than
the city is the author herself."
92
00:05:20,489 --> 00:05:22,249
"Loveless."
"Passionless."
93
00:05:22,353 --> 00:05:26,253
Uh, "Way past her prime." And, oh,
"This is fake history at its worst."
94
00:05:26,357 --> 00:05:28,532
A book tour could
change everything, okay?
95
00:05:28,635 --> 00:05:30,948
We have to remind the fans
why they love you so much.
96
00:05:31,051 --> 00:05:34,641
Real history. I merely season
it with a smidge more nudity.
97
00:05:34,745 --> 00:05:36,954
History had a ton of nudity.
98
00:05:37,817 --> 00:05:39,888
Deep exploration.
99
00:05:39,991 --> 00:05:42,477
Steamy wondering.
100
00:05:42,580 --> 00:05:47,620
Will Lovemore and Dash find Queen
Taha's priceless Crown of Fire?
101
00:05:47,723 --> 00:05:49,518
Join them on their search.
102
00:05:49,622 --> 00:05:51,634
So, listen, I wanted to
talk to you about something.
103
00:05:51,658 --> 00:05:52,901
There's so many people.
104
00:05:53,004 --> 00:05:55,144
I know how much you hate
doing these things,
105
00:05:55,248 --> 00:05:57,975
so I've invited Alan to do
the Q and A with you today.
106
00:05:58,078 --> 00:06:00,080
- What?
- And the rest of the book tour.
107
00:06:00,184 --> 00:06:03,152
Beth, I expressly asked not to do any
more events with Dash... Alan, Alan!
108
00:06:03,256 --> 00:06:06,086
- He's gonna humiliate me.
- He's not gonna humiliate you.
109
00:06:06,190 --> 00:06:09,227
Thank you. You're very good at your job.
Thank you so much. Thank you.
110
00:06:09,331 --> 00:06:10,539
Let me help you with that.
111
00:06:10,643 --> 00:06:12,541
He is... He's
a body wash commercial.
112
00:06:12,645 --> 00:06:14,509
He's always glistening
all over the place.
113
00:06:14,612 --> 00:06:17,512
There hasn't been an event where
his shirt didn't come flying off.
114
00:06:17,615 --> 00:06:19,134
You wish.
Well, he's already here,
115
00:06:19,237 --> 00:06:21,437
so put on your big-girl panties
and let's get out there.
116
00:06:21,481 --> 00:06:24,657
Remember, no grumpy face, big
words or boring academic talk.
117
00:06:24,760 --> 00:06:28,039
Yes! Yes!
118
00:06:28,143 --> 00:06:30,076
Come on, RTP!
119
00:06:30,179 --> 00:06:31,664
Ha-ha!
120
00:06:31,767 --> 00:06:34,011
Yes, my Lovemore-heads!
121
00:06:34,114 --> 00:06:37,566
I am so excited
to introduce to you
122
00:06:37,670 --> 00:06:41,501
the award-winning author,
Loretta Sage!
123
00:06:41,605 --> 00:06:44,159
Beth, I can't do this.
I'm not ready. Are you kidding me?
124
00:06:44,262 --> 00:06:45,988
Listen, I've got your back.
You got this.
125
00:06:46,092 --> 00:06:47,611
Go give the people
what they want.
126
00:06:47,714 --> 00:06:49,578
It's not me they want. Get out there now!
127
00:06:52,132 --> 00:06:55,964
Hi. How are you?
Nice to see you. Thank you.
128
00:07:01,314 --> 00:07:03,040
Yep. Mount it.
129
00:07:05,491 --> 00:07:08,390
Mount it. Mount it.
Okay.
130
00:07:08,494 --> 00:07:10,185
Find your center.
131
00:07:10,288 --> 00:07:13,844
And now, the moment
you've all been waiting for.
132
00:07:13,947 --> 00:07:15,708
The sexiest...
All right!
133
00:07:15,811 --> 00:07:19,815
Most influential hero
of a generation.
134
00:07:19,919 --> 00:07:21,127
That's a bit strong.
135
00:07:21,230 --> 00:07:23,854
His 20th cover
of an Angela Lovemore novel.
136
00:07:24,441 --> 00:07:26,581
Dash McMahon!
137
00:07:32,034 --> 00:07:34,554
Oh, my God! Dash!
138
00:07:57,232 --> 00:07:59,579
Take a bow. I already did mine.
I did mine.
139
00:07:59,683 --> 00:08:02,651
Okay, come on.
One more. I got you.
140
00:08:17,666 --> 00:08:19,323
Did you guys rehearse that?
Oh, my God.
141
00:08:19,426 --> 00:08:23,258
I'm loving this chemistry between
you two, and I got to say,
142
00:08:23,361 --> 00:08:25,502
I love this book.
143
00:08:25,605 --> 00:08:26,675
Oh, thank you, Ray. Thank...
144
00:08:26,779 --> 00:08:28,125
Spoiler alert.
145
00:08:28,228 --> 00:08:29,506
A really bold choice
146
00:08:29,609 --> 00:08:31,542
to not have them go
into the tomb at the end.
147
00:08:31,646 --> 00:08:33,268
Talk about
what went into this one.
148
00:08:33,371 --> 00:08:36,823
I mean, this one's such a
special book for me personally.
149
00:08:36,927 --> 00:08:39,757
I... I don't know how to say
how much it means to me
150
00:08:39,861 --> 00:08:41,966
that Loretta,
word writer extraordinaire,
151
00:08:42,070 --> 00:08:45,107
has, you know,
named the book after me.
152
00:08:45,211 --> 00:08:47,040
The Lost City of Dash.
153
00:08:47,144 --> 00:08:48,248
The Lost City of D.
154
00:08:48,352 --> 00:08:50,596
Um, but that's not what
the D stands for.
155
00:08:50,699 --> 00:08:53,288
It's D for "dick," right? No dick, no.
156
00:08:53,391 --> 00:08:56,498
It's based on the name of an ancient
tribe, Dapocagihou-dysphem-ica.
157
00:08:56,602 --> 00:09:01,158
And, um, it was too difficult for
the European colonizers to pronounce,
158
00:09:01,261 --> 00:09:04,541
so, in true colonial fashion they
abbreviated it. No one cares about this.
159
00:09:04,644 --> 00:09:06,370
That's so interesting.
Okay.
160
00:09:06,473 --> 00:09:08,786
How about we take some
questions from the audience?
161
00:09:08,890 --> 00:09:10,685
Right here, handsome! Yes.
162
00:09:10,788 --> 00:09:14,930
Dash, what's your favorite
romantic moment? Ooh.
163
00:09:15,034 --> 00:09:19,556
What I would really like to know is what
is Loretta's favorite romantic moment?
164
00:09:19,659 --> 00:09:21,592
Ooh, spicy.
165
00:09:21,696 --> 00:09:23,629
Oh, uh...
166
00:09:23,732 --> 00:09:26,424
- Well, being a sapiosexual...
167
00:09:26,528 --> 00:09:28,737
Oh, is that when they do
the snakes around the...
168
00:09:28,841 --> 00:09:32,914
No. That's someone
who finds, uh, intellect
169
00:09:33,017 --> 00:09:36,918
or intelligence,
uh, very sexy, you know.
170
00:09:37,021 --> 00:09:38,126
Same.
171
00:09:38,609 --> 00:09:39,852
Really?
172
00:09:39,955 --> 00:09:42,371
Dash! Rip off your shirt!
173
00:09:42,475 --> 00:09:46,203
No, no, no. We're not gonna do that today.
We're here for Loretta's book.
174
00:09:46,306 --> 00:09:48,170
Do we have questions
for Loretta?
175
00:09:48,274 --> 00:09:53,451
Uh, yes, studious-looking young lady?
What would you like to ask me?
176
00:09:53,555 --> 00:09:55,592
Can you rip off Dash's shirt?
177
00:09:57,145 --> 00:09:59,975
No, no. We're not gonna
do this again. Sorry.
178
00:10:00,079 --> 00:10:02,599
Rip it off! Rip it off!
179
00:10:02,702 --> 00:10:05,015
Rip it off! Rip it off!
Rip it off!
180
00:10:05,118 --> 00:10:08,846
Of course. Of course, yes.
Can do.
181
00:10:09,813 --> 00:10:11,090
Is this happening?
182
00:10:11,193 --> 00:10:12,919
You don't have to do this. Oh, we have to.
183
00:10:13,023 --> 00:10:15,094
We have to give the people
what they want. Yes, yes.
184
00:10:15,197 --> 00:10:17,924
We have to give the people
what they want, yes.
185
00:10:18,028 --> 00:10:21,272
Ladies and gentlemen, enjoy.
186
00:10:21,376 --> 00:10:26,036
Because The Lost City of D
is Dash's final adventure.
187
00:10:26,139 --> 00:10:28,210
If there even is a next book,
188
00:10:28,314 --> 00:10:31,420
it will open with Lovemore
receiving the tragic news
189
00:10:31,524 --> 00:10:33,871
of his untimely death.
190
00:10:33,975 --> 00:10:35,355
What?
191
00:10:35,459 --> 00:10:36,988
Shit. I'm sorry.
My smartwatch is stuck.Ow. Hold on.
192
00:10:37,012 --> 00:10:38,082
I know. Don't pull it.
193
00:10:38,186 --> 00:10:39,705
It's okay. Just be real still.
194
00:10:39,808 --> 00:10:41,303
No. That's pulling it. You're pulling it.
195
00:10:41,327 --> 00:10:43,916
You're gonna rip my wig off.
No, you can't...
196
00:10:48,334 --> 00:10:49,334
Oh, my!
197
00:10:49,404 --> 00:10:50,819
Oh, my God. Is he okay?
198
00:10:50,923 --> 00:10:52,545
God, I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry.
199
00:10:52,649 --> 00:10:55,306
- I'm so sorry.
You're a bad person.
200
00:10:55,410 --> 00:10:59,656
Stick around for the
costume contest at-00 p.m.
201
00:11:00,518 --> 00:11:02,762
"If there is another book"?
202
00:11:02,866 --> 00:11:07,767
I'm investing everything we've
got into this tour, okay?
203
00:11:07,871 --> 00:11:11,322
I just don't think I have another
Dash and Lovemore adventure in me.
204
00:11:11,426 --> 00:11:12,807
How does Dash die?
205
00:11:12,910 --> 00:11:15,050
Was it the snakes? No.
206
00:11:15,154 --> 00:11:17,501
Okay, so I have something
that I have to take care of.
207
00:11:17,604 --> 00:11:20,055
You guys have an interview in
the next suite in ten minutes.
208
00:11:20,159 --> 00:11:22,575
So can you please do me a favor
and be grown-ups
209
00:11:22,679 --> 00:11:24,197
and get yourselves there
on your own?
210
00:11:24,301 --> 00:11:25,509
Okay. Thank you so much.
211
00:11:26,303 --> 00:11:28,374
Does he die from
a staph infection?
212
00:11:30,341 --> 00:11:32,412
It is a staph infection.
I knew it.
213
00:11:33,586 --> 00:11:34,967
I-I... All right.
214
00:11:35,070 --> 00:11:38,142
Look, I get it if you
need a break or something,
215
00:11:38,246 --> 00:11:40,248
but you can't
just kill me, okay? Okay.
216
00:11:40,351 --> 00:11:44,735
I hate that I have to ask this, but
you do know you're not Dash, right?
217
00:11:44,839 --> 00:11:47,013
Dash is a character I made up.
218
00:11:47,117 --> 00:11:48,359
Dash?
219
00:11:51,190 --> 00:11:52,432
Thanks.
220
00:11:52,536 --> 00:11:53,744
Thank you.
221
00:11:56,229 --> 00:11:58,507
Loretta, it's this way.
No, I think it's this way.
222
00:11:58,611 --> 00:12:00,958
Can't you see that Dash
means so much to people?
223
00:12:01,062 --> 00:12:02,926
Means so much to you. Not to me.
224
00:12:03,029 --> 00:12:04,709
Well, yeah, to me,
but to other people too.
225
00:12:04,790 --> 00:12:07,758
What about Beth? You know what?
Beth is gonna be fine.
226
00:12:07,862 --> 00:12:11,693
She's gonna find plenty fresh,
young writers full of great ideas.
227
00:12:11,797 --> 00:12:13,799
You can transition gracefully
228
00:12:13,902 --> 00:12:16,249
into the shirt-on phase
of your modeling career,
229
00:12:16,353 --> 00:12:17,699
and I can be left alone.
230
00:12:17,803 --> 00:12:19,528
Everybody is happy.
231
00:12:19,632 --> 00:12:21,427
No, it's this way.
232
00:12:21,530 --> 00:12:23,439
Beth says you don't even
leave the house anymore.
233
00:12:23,463 --> 00:12:25,500
I don't feel like
that's very happy.
234
00:12:25,603 --> 00:12:28,582
You should be going out in the world,
filling yourself up on new experiences.
235
00:12:28,606 --> 00:12:30,850
I'm already filled up.
I'm full. I'm fully satiated.
236
00:12:30,954 --> 00:12:34,302
Why would you want to be stuck at home
alone when you could see the world?
237
00:12:34,405 --> 00:12:35,924
You could be visiting
ancient Greece.
238
00:12:36,028 --> 00:12:38,927
Okay. How could I visit
ancient Greece?
239
00:12:39,031 --> 00:12:41,067
I get it. Because
you're afraid of flying.
240
00:12:41,171 --> 00:12:44,588
No. Because ancient Greece
is in the past.
241
00:12:44,691 --> 00:12:46,245
Just like Dash.
242
00:12:46,348 --> 00:12:49,558
Okay. You want to know who else
is stuck in the past? You are.
243
00:12:49,662 --> 00:12:52,423
You're so afraid of life hurting you
again that you've stopped living.
244
00:12:52,527 --> 00:12:54,840
You're like a human mummy.
245
00:12:56,324 --> 00:12:58,360
I didn't, um...
246
00:12:59,637 --> 00:13:00,811
Oh.
247
00:13:00,915 --> 00:13:03,055
Mummies are human.
248
00:13:12,340 --> 00:13:14,307
Stupid... Oh, crap.
249
00:13:15,377 --> 00:13:17,345
I'm so sorry.
I-I will clean this up.
250
00:13:17,448 --> 00:13:19,934
I am not a litterer,
I-I assure you that.
251
00:13:20,037 --> 00:13:23,523
Do you, um... Do you think you could,
uh, call a car for me, please?
252
00:13:23,627 --> 00:13:25,146
Thank you. Thank you.
253
00:13:27,907 --> 00:13:29,081
Bring the car around.
254
00:13:29,184 --> 00:13:30,634
God, is that someone's retainer?
255
00:13:30,737 --> 00:13:33,085
I've never said the right thing
one time around her.
256
00:13:33,188 --> 00:13:35,121
I get nervous
because she opens her mouth,
257
00:13:35,225 --> 00:13:39,677
and just an encyclopedia of beautifulness
comes out, and I just never say...
258
00:13:39,781 --> 00:13:41,093
You know
she's trying to kill me?
259
00:13:41,196 --> 00:13:43,371
I just need those tomatoes.
260
00:13:43,474 --> 00:13:45,822
You're right.
No, you're right.
261
00:13:45,925 --> 00:13:47,409
I should apologize.
Thank you, man.
262
00:13:47,513 --> 00:13:49,756
I appreciate that
very, very much. You're welcome.
263
00:13:59,905 --> 00:14:02,183
Uh, Loretta Sage. Yeah.
264
00:14:07,395 --> 00:14:08,499
Uh...
265
00:14:09,811 --> 00:14:11,019
Hiya.
266
00:14:11,123 --> 00:14:12,607
Uh, I did not order an UberPool.
267
00:14:12,710 --> 00:14:15,679
Someone wants to meet you.
We'll have you right back.
268
00:14:15,782 --> 00:14:16,956
Um...
269
00:14:20,442 --> 00:14:21,719
Loretta!
270
00:14:21,823 --> 00:14:23,342
Loretta! Loretta?
271
00:14:26,241 --> 00:14:28,105
Uh, Loretta?
272
00:14:28,209 --> 00:14:30,797
Did you say "Loretta"? Yeah.
273
00:14:30,901 --> 00:14:32,109
Follow that SUV, man.No.
274
00:14:32,213 --> 00:14:33,973
Come on, please! No, no, no.
275
00:14:34,077 --> 00:14:37,149
I'm not helping any more handsome
strangers. Fool me once. Mm-mmm.
276
00:14:37,252 --> 00:14:40,566
What is this, Taken?
Am I "tooken"?
277
00:14:40,669 --> 00:14:42,085
Am I sold already?
278
00:14:42,188 --> 00:14:45,191
Am I... Am I sold to him?
279
00:14:45,295 --> 00:14:48,954
Ow. Stop. Oh, no. Did this feel creepy?
280
00:14:49,057 --> 00:14:51,680
I said
don't make it creepy, guys.
281
00:14:51,784 --> 00:14:53,613
I'm so sorry about the setting.
282
00:14:53,717 --> 00:14:56,306
I just flew in. I was in
a real panic to meet you.
283
00:14:56,409 --> 00:14:58,480
I didn't have time
to dress the place up much.
284
00:14:58,584 --> 00:15:01,380
I read you love cheese,
so I just got them all.
285
00:15:01,483 --> 00:15:05,556
Are you the one who's been
emailing me for photos of my feet?
286
00:15:05,660 --> 00:15:07,524
No. Um...
287
00:15:07,627 --> 00:15:11,942
And I promise what I'm about to show
you is gonna make you very happy.
288
00:15:12,701 --> 00:15:13,910
But first, a little bit
289
00:15:14,013 --> 00:15:17,223
about the mysterious rogue
you see before you.
290
00:15:17,327 --> 00:15:19,605
Uh, my name is Abigail Fairfax.
291
00:15:19,708 --> 00:15:22,642
Abigail? It's a gender-neutral name,
like Leslie or Beverly.
292
00:15:22,746 --> 00:15:26,439
Yes, but you're Abigail Fairfax
of the media-mogul Fairfaxes?
293
00:15:27,371 --> 00:15:30,581
Didn't you just
take over your company or...
294
00:15:30,685 --> 00:15:34,620
No, that was my brother, actually.
That was Leslie. We're all very proud.
295
00:15:34,723 --> 00:15:37,830
Ah. Yes, I should say so,
at such a young age to...
296
00:15:37,934 --> 00:15:39,866
Some might even say too young.
297
00:15:39,970 --> 00:15:42,697
But that world
never really interested me.
298
00:15:42,800 --> 00:15:45,389
My passions, as you may know,
299
00:15:45,493 --> 00:15:48,599
lie in the hidden things
in the world,
300
00:15:48,703 --> 00:15:51,326
things which defy possession.
301
00:15:51,430 --> 00:15:54,467
Um, some might call me
a collector.
302
00:15:54,571 --> 00:15:58,264
But there is one obsession
in particular
303
00:15:58,368 --> 00:16:00,473
that has held me captive.
304
00:16:01,647 --> 00:16:03,131
The Crown of Fire
305
00:16:03,235 --> 00:16:05,616
and its cascading red diamonds.
306
00:16:05,720 --> 00:16:09,379
Is this a... Is this
a hidden-camera thing?
307
00:16:09,482 --> 00:16:13,072
So imagine my surprise
when, in your new book,
308
00:16:13,176 --> 00:16:16,455
amidst the pages
of coital reverie,
309
00:16:16,558 --> 00:16:17,387
was something...
310
00:16:17,490 --> 00:16:19,561
Oh, God... quite magnificent.
311
00:16:21,425 --> 00:16:23,980
I get it. I get it.
I so get it right now.
312
00:16:24,083 --> 00:16:25,395
Oh, my gosh.
313
00:16:25,498 --> 00:16:27,673
I literally thought
you guys kidnapped me.
314
00:16:27,776 --> 00:16:30,262
I mean, this is marketing, right?
Beth set this up?
315
00:16:30,365 --> 00:16:33,265
This was so good, you guys.
This was amazing.
316
00:16:33,368 --> 00:16:36,613
You, with your gun
and your mustache
317
00:16:36,716 --> 00:16:39,685
and your, "You'd better get
in there" and you know...
318
00:16:40,893 --> 00:16:42,412
Oh, my God.
319
00:16:42,515 --> 00:16:46,278
You, with the G.I. Joe
tone-on-tone outfit.
320
00:16:46,381 --> 00:16:51,386
Your fictional archaeologist was making
real translations of a dead language.
321
00:16:51,490 --> 00:16:54,389
Mm-hmm. Something nobody else
has been able to do.
322
00:16:54,493 --> 00:16:56,909
Well, nobody else
had ever tried.
323
00:16:57,013 --> 00:16:58,842
Is that right?
Am I saying the right thing?
324
00:16:58,945 --> 00:17:00,602
Except you, right?
325
00:17:00,706 --> 00:17:02,673
Except me!
326
00:17:02,777 --> 00:17:04,503
Yes. See, it turns out
327
00:17:04,606 --> 00:17:07,920
Loretta Sage was once a young
college girl doing her dissertation
328
00:17:08,024 --> 00:17:10,888
on the dead language of the D
with her future husband,
329
00:17:10,992 --> 00:17:14,099
dreaming of finding Kalaman's
tomb and the Crown of Fire.
330
00:17:14,202 --> 00:17:17,309
I was sorry to read you gave
up your search after he died.
331
00:17:17,412 --> 00:17:19,035
But what that means is,
332
00:17:20,312 --> 00:17:22,210
you're all I have left.
333
00:17:22,314 --> 00:17:25,489
All-All you have left
for... what?
334
00:17:25,593 --> 00:17:26,628
Hmm.
335
00:17:28,423 --> 00:17:29,666
Oh.
336
00:17:29,769 --> 00:17:31,150
Here we go.
337
00:17:45,268 --> 00:17:46,993
What is this?
338
00:17:47,097 --> 00:17:50,790
I believe it is describing the
exact location of Kalaman's tomb,
339
00:17:50,894 --> 00:17:54,346
in which Taha and her
priceless headdress are buried.
340
00:17:54,449 --> 00:17:56,589
Well, if this were authentic,
341
00:17:56,693 --> 00:18:02,043
you would still have to
uncover an entire city
342
00:18:02,147 --> 00:18:05,184
that nobody
has been able to find.
343
00:18:05,288 --> 00:18:06,944
I found it.
344
00:18:07,048 --> 00:18:10,189
On a tiny, forgotten island in
the Atlantic called Isla Hundida.
345
00:18:10,293 --> 00:18:13,848
What I have not been able to find
is Kalaman's final resting place.
346
00:18:13,951 --> 00:18:18,232
This piece of parchment is the
only clue we found among the ruins.
347
00:18:18,335 --> 00:18:21,476
I need someone
who can decipher these symbols.
348
00:18:22,098 --> 00:18:23,651
I need you.
349
00:18:24,790 --> 00:18:26,240
Well... Miss Sage,
350
00:18:26,343 --> 00:18:29,726
surely this isn't how
you want your story to end.
351
00:18:29,829 --> 00:18:32,418
We both had our dreams crushed
by bad luck,
352
00:18:32,522 --> 00:18:34,765
or in my case,
an arse-kissing little brother,
353
00:18:34,869 --> 00:18:37,975
but this is our chance
to show them all.
354
00:18:38,079 --> 00:18:39,667
Come with me...
to the island.
355
00:18:39,770 --> 00:18:44,913
Translate these symbols and
help me find the Crown of Fire.
356
00:18:45,017 --> 00:18:47,640
You can name your price.
357
00:18:50,264 --> 00:18:53,094
I must respectfully decline.
358
00:18:57,961 --> 00:18:59,169
Well...
359
00:19:00,791 --> 00:19:02,759
I can't say
I'm not disappointed.
360
00:19:03,656 --> 00:19:06,142
But I understand how you feel.
361
00:19:09,490 --> 00:19:11,250
Will you at least let us
give you a ride?
362
00:19:11,354 --> 00:19:15,634
Oh, no, thank you. I'll call
for my own car, and I'll just...
363
00:19:37,207 --> 00:19:40,969
I don't feel like you're listening to me.
This is urgent, and we...
364
00:19:41,073 --> 00:19:44,007
Okay, so the police are saying
that they put out an APB...
365
00:19:44,110 --> 00:19:45,767
APB... on an SUV,
366
00:19:45,871 --> 00:19:48,114
and there's
this 24-hour rule... Why is there a rule?
367
00:19:48,218 --> 00:19:50,714
And they won't do anything until...
What about the FBI or the CIA?
368
00:19:50,738 --> 00:19:52,785
- They said to call the police.
- I'm sure Loretta's fine.
369
00:19:52,809 --> 00:19:55,398
When I was in college,
my friend Nicki went missing.
370
00:19:55,501 --> 00:19:57,123
Everyone was, like,
freaking out.
371
00:19:57,227 --> 00:19:59,574
But then she was just
in her car.
372
00:19:59,678 --> 00:20:02,853
She was dead, but we found her.
She wasn't gone.
373
00:20:02,957 --> 00:20:07,306
Um, what about...
Maybe we could get a PI
374
00:20:07,410 --> 00:20:09,929
or, like, you know,
private security or...
375
00:20:10,033 --> 00:20:11,931
What about an extraction team,
like the movie?
376
00:20:12,035 --> 00:20:14,520
Yes! But who does that?
The ex-military, right?
377
00:20:14,624 --> 00:20:17,213
Oh, yeah. I think I actually
have somebody that could help us.
378
00:20:17,316 --> 00:20:20,285
- Oh.
- I did this meditation retreat,
379
00:20:20,388 --> 00:20:22,459
and there was this
trainer guy there.
380
00:20:22,563 --> 00:20:24,081
You should
see this guy meditate.
381
00:20:24,185 --> 00:20:25,600
But he's ex-Navy SEAL.
382
00:20:25,704 --> 00:20:29,501
He... He's a special ops trainer.
What was his name?
383
00:20:30,191 --> 00:20:31,330
Yeah. Jack Trainer.
384
00:20:31,434 --> 00:20:33,056
So he's a trainer
named Jack Trainer?
385
00:20:33,159 --> 00:20:35,414
That's how I have everybody in my phone.
See, "Janice Mom."
386
00:20:35,438 --> 00:20:36,887
"Larry Doorknob."
"Stacy Butt Stuff."
387
00:20:36,991 --> 00:20:39,683
Look, this is what this guy does.
He finds people.
388
00:20:39,787 --> 00:20:42,065
If there's anybody
that can help us, it's him.
389
00:20:49,003 --> 00:20:51,523
Jack Trainer. Oh, so his name
is actually Jack Trainer.
390
00:20:51,626 --> 00:20:55,527
Hi, uh, this is Alan
from "Touching Your Inner Self."
391
00:20:57,011 --> 00:20:58,840
The meditation retreat?
392
00:21:00,566 --> 00:21:03,638
Anyway, uh, okay. Our friend
Loretta has been kidnapped,
393
00:21:03,742 --> 00:21:05,191
and no one's helping us.
394
00:21:05,295 --> 00:21:06,779
How long she been missing?
395
00:21:06,883 --> 00:21:08,125
Maybe two hours now.
396
00:21:08,229 --> 00:21:09,541
Who is that?
397
00:21:09,644 --> 00:21:13,683
Um, this is B...
This is Beth. I'm Beth.
398
00:21:13,786 --> 00:21:16,202
And Allison is on too, sir.
399
00:21:16,306 --> 00:21:18,515
Did she have any
Wi-Fi-enabled devices?
400
00:21:18,619 --> 00:21:21,518
- She's got her phone, right?
- No, I have her phone.
401
00:21:21,622 --> 00:21:24,245
Oh! She has a smartwatch.
It ripped my wig off.
402
00:21:24,349 --> 00:21:27,283
What was that scenario?
Never mind. Open the phone.
403
00:21:27,386 --> 00:21:28,939
Go to the smartwatch app. All right.
404
00:21:29,043 --> 00:21:31,356
Then hit "Find My Smartwatch."
405
00:21:31,459 --> 00:21:34,393
Oh, my... That is so good.
That's why we called.
406
00:21:34,497 --> 00:21:36,947
"Anticipate the difficult
by managing the easy."
407
00:21:37,051 --> 00:21:40,744
Is that Oprah or Deepak?
Laozi fromTao-te Ching.
408
00:21:40,848 --> 00:21:42,056
Oh, my God.
409
00:21:42,159 --> 00:21:43,851
It's in the Atlantic.
410
00:21:43,954 --> 00:21:46,302
She's on a plane?
How can you tell that?
411
00:21:46,405 --> 00:21:48,580
'Cause she can't swim that fast.
412
00:21:48,683 --> 00:21:50,133
Doesn't sound like
a ransom scenario.
413
00:21:50,236 --> 00:21:52,860
My guess is blood sport,
Hunger Games type situation.
414
00:21:52,963 --> 00:21:55,794
Possibly some coke-fueled
dark web scavenger hunt.
415
00:21:55,897 --> 00:21:57,934
Real clown shit.
We'll have to move fast.
416
00:21:58,037 --> 00:22:00,971
- How do we pay you?
- Cryptocurrency. Cash App.
417
00:22:01,075 --> 00:22:04,561
I'll have her back within 48
hours or your next rescue is free.
418
00:22:04,665 --> 00:22:06,149
How many people
need a next rescue?
419
00:22:06,252 --> 00:22:07,771
More than you'd think.
420
00:22:07,875 --> 00:22:09,784
- I'm gonna need that phone.
- I'll bring it to you.
421
00:22:09,808 --> 00:22:12,569
Let me know where she lands.
I'll meet you there, Alan.
422
00:22:27,377 --> 00:22:28,620
Hello.
423
00:22:33,210 --> 00:22:34,350
Where am I?
424
00:22:34,453 --> 00:22:36,455
Um, you're on my plane.
425
00:22:36,559 --> 00:22:37,767
It's nice, isn't it? Hmm?
426
00:22:37,870 --> 00:22:39,700
The seats are made of
mama llama leather.
427
00:22:39,803 --> 00:22:42,910
Well, I'm getting off
your plane.
428
00:22:43,013 --> 00:22:44,394
Unchain me!
429
00:22:44,498 --> 00:22:46,051
That's your seat belt.
430
00:22:46,638 --> 00:22:48,502
Did you chloroform me?
431
00:22:48,605 --> 00:22:50,814
People actually do that?
432
00:22:53,196 --> 00:22:55,854
Well, you know,
it's a classic for a reason.
433
00:22:56,544 --> 00:22:57,787
My body feels drunk.
434
00:22:57,890 --> 00:22:59,789
It'll wear off in a bit.
I am sorry.
435
00:22:59,892 --> 00:23:02,308
I just couldn't wait around
for you to change your mind.
436
00:23:02,412 --> 00:23:04,863
Stop playing jelly.
Time is not on our side.
437
00:23:04,966 --> 00:23:07,693
You see, the volcano
we're excavating around
438
00:23:07,797 --> 00:23:09,764
has developed
a bad case of indigestion.
439
00:23:09,868 --> 00:23:11,732
I'm rather worried
that when it blows,
440
00:23:11,835 --> 00:23:13,986
everything that's left of the
Lost City will be destroyed.
441
00:23:14,010 --> 00:23:15,908
Oh, my God.
My legs don't work.
442
00:23:16,012 --> 00:23:21,431
So, this is our last chance to
find both the tomb and the crown.
443
00:23:21,535 --> 00:23:23,571
Oh, God. Oh!
444
00:23:23,675 --> 00:23:25,953
Don't worry.
That's just our final descent.
445
00:23:26,056 --> 00:23:32,062
But it is the beginning of the
greatest adventure of your life.
446
00:24:40,683 --> 00:24:42,754
Welcome to the Lost City.
447
00:24:52,384 --> 00:24:53,799
How did you find it?
448
00:24:53,903 --> 00:24:56,043
So, the city was built
on a lava dome.
449
00:24:56,146 --> 00:24:58,839
As the volcano became active,
the dome filled with lava,
450
00:24:58,942 --> 00:25:01,566
and sunken things
rose to the surface.
451
00:25:01,669 --> 00:25:03,568
The D exposed itself.
452
00:25:03,671 --> 00:25:06,709
- The entire city?
- No, no. Just the tip.
453
00:25:06,812 --> 00:25:10,022
As soon as I heard rumors of the ruins,
I flew over and bought the place.
454
00:25:10,126 --> 00:25:13,405
The site? No. The island.
The southern half.
455
00:25:13,509 --> 00:25:15,856
I got a good deal 'cause
this is where the lava flows.
456
00:25:15,959 --> 00:25:18,203
We've been excavating
for a year now.
457
00:25:19,273 --> 00:25:21,827
One doesn't kidnap a
romance novelist on day one.
458
00:25:21,931 --> 00:25:23,967
Ah, yes, as the saying goes.
459
00:25:24,071 --> 00:25:27,074
Rafi doesn't like it.
Do you, Rafi?
460
00:25:27,177 --> 00:25:30,353
He says we're
disrespecting his heritage.
461
00:25:30,456 --> 00:25:33,701
But not a lot of other job options
on the island, are there, Rafi?
462
00:25:33,805 --> 00:25:35,876
Beggars can't be choosers.
463
00:25:45,713 --> 00:25:47,543
No more charcuterie, I take it.
464
00:25:47,646 --> 00:25:49,752
Mmm. Please.
I'm not a monster.
465
00:25:49,855 --> 00:25:51,685
Whatever you need, just shout.
466
00:25:53,203 --> 00:25:58,070
Uh, leave one hand free.
She has some translating to do.
467
00:25:59,278 --> 00:26:00,521
And then what?
468
00:26:00,625 --> 00:26:03,144
Loretta, I really wish
you would try and see
469
00:26:03,248 --> 00:26:05,388
what an exciting opportunity
this is for us.
470
00:26:05,491 --> 00:26:09,392
I believe this text describes
the exact location of the tomb.
471
00:26:09,495 --> 00:26:12,015
It's a logographic system.
472
00:26:12,775 --> 00:26:15,363
Like cuneiform or hieroglyphics.
473
00:26:15,467 --> 00:26:19,264
Now, if you have other documents
that possibly I can compare...
474
00:26:19,367 --> 00:26:20,645
Yeah, no luck there.
475
00:26:20,748 --> 00:26:23,544
We found some scratching
at a nearby waterfall,
476
00:26:23,648 --> 00:26:24,545
but it was useless.
477
00:26:24,649 --> 00:26:26,202
Just pictures of women.
478
00:26:26,305 --> 00:26:30,896
Look, I, too, wish your dear
old dead archaeologist husband
479
00:26:31,000 --> 00:26:33,727
was here to help,
but he's not, so,
480
00:26:33,830 --> 00:26:36,937
time to shine, Loretta,
sex-book writer.
481
00:26:38,352 --> 00:26:40,078
They will come for me.
482
00:26:40,665 --> 00:26:42,390
Who, exactly?
483
00:26:42,494 --> 00:26:44,220
Your... Your many cats?
484
00:26:44,323 --> 00:26:46,118
Oh, I don't have cats.
485
00:26:46,705 --> 00:26:48,534
Somehow even more sad.
486
00:26:48,638 --> 00:26:51,607
I have a hamster, asshole!
487
00:26:51,710 --> 00:26:53,367
You have a hamster's asshole?
488
00:26:53,470 --> 00:26:57,233
No, there was a... there was
a comma between... Forget it.
489
00:26:57,336 --> 00:27:00,754
I bet your brother never had
to kidnap anyone!
490
00:27:32,475 --> 00:27:35,754
♪ From the dusty mesa ♪
491
00:27:35,858 --> 00:27:40,172
♪ Her looming shadow grows ♪
492
00:27:40,276 --> 00:27:43,659
♪ Hidden in the branches ♪
493
00:27:43,762 --> 00:27:47,835
♪ Of the poison creosote ♪
494
00:27:51,494 --> 00:27:53,082
Good to see you, man.
495
00:27:53,185 --> 00:27:54,808
Phone.Right.
496
00:28:06,682 --> 00:28:07,924
What?
497
00:28:08,028 --> 00:28:10,616
Yeah, I was thinking
that I could, you know,
498
00:28:10,720 --> 00:28:12,308
maybe just sort of
come with you.
499
00:28:12,411 --> 00:28:14,172
Why? To help.
500
00:28:14,275 --> 00:28:18,417
I know CPR. I know some light karate.
CrossFit certified.
501
00:28:18,521 --> 00:28:20,040
Okay, okay, listen, listen!
502
00:28:20,903 --> 00:28:22,594
I just... It's my fault.
503
00:28:22,698 --> 00:28:24,803
Not the kidnapping and stuff,
504
00:28:24,907 --> 00:28:27,979
but, like, I said some really mean
stuff to her, and I regret it,
505
00:28:28,082 --> 00:28:29,705
and I just need to take it back.
506
00:28:29,808 --> 00:28:31,189
I called her a human mummy.
507
00:28:32,535 --> 00:28:33,950
Mummies are human.
508
00:28:34,606 --> 00:28:37,022
I'm aware of that now, yes.
509
00:28:37,126 --> 00:28:40,163
That is true.
510
00:28:40,267 --> 00:28:41,268
Please.
511
00:28:42,545 --> 00:28:45,237
All right, Alan, I can't
be responsible for you.
512
00:28:46,204 --> 00:28:47,205
Okay. Yeah.
513
00:28:47,308 --> 00:28:50,277
I need you
to stay in the car.Yeah.
514
00:28:50,380 --> 00:28:52,486
In the car. In the car.
515
00:28:52,589 --> 00:28:55,040
The whole time. The whole time?
516
00:28:55,144 --> 00:28:56,386
Whole time.
517
00:28:56,490 --> 00:28:57,733
Mm-hmm.
518
00:28:59,493 --> 00:29:00,770
Yes!
519
00:29:07,708 --> 00:29:09,054
This is me.
520
00:29:09,952 --> 00:29:12,230
Really? Is this what
the SEAL teams use?
521
00:29:12,333 --> 00:29:14,991
"Only a fool chooses a horse
by its color."
522
00:29:15,095 --> 00:29:17,891
Right, right.
The Tao-te Ching?
523
00:29:17,994 --> 00:29:21,135
No, it was on the sign
back there at the rental place.
524
00:29:29,661 --> 00:29:30,869
Thank you.
525
00:29:35,425 --> 00:29:41,259
♪ I once had a life
Or rather, life had me ♪
526
00:29:41,362 --> 00:29:44,365
♪ I was one among many ♪
527
00:29:44,469 --> 00:29:47,921
♪ Or at least I seemed to be ♪
528
00:29:48,024 --> 00:29:54,859
♪ Well, I read an old quotation
In a book just yesterday ♪
529
00:29:54,962 --> 00:29:57,896
♪ Said
"Gonna reap just what you sow ♪
530
00:29:58,000 --> 00:30:01,210
♪ The debts you make
You have to pay" ♪
531
00:30:01,313 --> 00:30:03,039
♪ Can you get to that? ♪
532
00:30:03,695 --> 00:30:05,145
What? What?
533
00:30:07,388 --> 00:30:09,390
I was hoping to invite you
to breakfast,
534
00:30:09,494 --> 00:30:12,152
but it looks like
you still have work to do.
535
00:30:13,118 --> 00:30:14,879
Uh, wait, wait, wait.
536
00:30:14,982 --> 00:30:16,501
Wait. Wait, wait, wait.
537
00:30:16,604 --> 00:30:18,606
I believe this says
538
00:30:18,710 --> 00:30:20,712
"rest" or "resting."
539
00:30:20,816 --> 00:30:23,715
So it would be,
"Kalaman and his treasure..."
540
00:30:23,819 --> 00:30:28,306
And then there are some missing
pieces, and then "rest," "resting,"
541
00:30:28,409 --> 00:30:31,827
and something about
"tears," so...
542
00:30:33,621 --> 00:30:34,622
Resting where?
543
00:30:34,726 --> 00:30:35,934
Hmm? Oh!
544
00:30:36,038 --> 00:30:38,799
Didn't say.
It doesn't say.
545
00:30:40,145 --> 00:30:43,148
Miss Sage,
I need you to do better.
546
00:30:43,252 --> 00:30:46,703
Then next time maybe don't
kidnap a romance novelist, hmm?
547
00:30:46,807 --> 00:30:49,016
My God,
this shouldn't be this hard!
548
00:30:49,120 --> 00:30:51,053
It is not some pauper's grave
we're looking for.
549
00:30:51,156 --> 00:30:53,434
It is a monument to a great man!
550
00:30:53,538 --> 00:30:55,471
King Kalaman was ambitious,
he was powerful,
551
00:30:55,574 --> 00:30:58,025
he was the first man to
build a city in the Atlantic.
552
00:30:58,129 --> 00:31:00,786
The eyes of his subjects
would have turned to him.
553
00:31:00,890 --> 00:31:04,135
He would have had a pyramid,
a ziggurat, a tower
554
00:31:04,238 --> 00:31:06,206
to hold his Crown of Fire.
555
00:31:06,309 --> 00:31:09,209
All I need to know
is where it is.
556
00:31:09,312 --> 00:31:12,557
I don't know if you recall,
but you only said translate it.
557
00:31:12,660 --> 00:31:14,800
I-I translated it.
558
00:31:15,594 --> 00:31:17,182
Translate it again.
559
00:31:22,808 --> 00:31:25,846
One day, we're gonna
laugh about this.
560
00:31:25,950 --> 00:31:28,090
Such an adventure we're having.
561
00:31:31,196 --> 00:31:35,545
I should go with you,
just for backup and awesomeness.
562
00:31:36,512 --> 00:31:38,169
This is pretty awesome.
563
00:31:38,272 --> 00:31:40,930
You got nature, the radio.
564
00:31:42,069 --> 00:31:45,693
Yeah, you're right, but it's
very, very important to me
565
00:31:45,797 --> 00:31:47,661
that she knows
that I came to rescue her.
566
00:31:47,764 --> 00:31:49,456
Why?
Do you like this woman?
567
00:31:50,457 --> 00:31:52,666
No, I just brought snacks
and stuff.
568
00:31:52,769 --> 00:31:54,944
And she gets a little grumpy
when she's hungry.
569
00:31:55,048 --> 00:31:58,465
Blood pressure drops. And I get that
because I'm a five-meal-a-day kind of guy.
570
00:31:58,568 --> 00:32:01,364
Do you keto, by the way?
You look like you keto.
571
00:32:01,468 --> 00:32:03,159
No.No. Yeah.
572
00:32:03,263 --> 00:32:04,989
You don't need it.
573
00:32:05,092 --> 00:32:06,576
What is it?
574
00:32:06,680 --> 00:32:10,270
I just want her to think of me
as more than a cover model.
575
00:32:10,373 --> 00:32:14,619
But, Alan, you are so much more.
You're my lookout.
576
00:32:14,722 --> 00:32:18,071
Okay, can I at least do the part
where I put her in the car
577
00:32:18,174 --> 00:32:21,902
and I just go,
"Shh. You're safe now"?
578
00:32:22,972 --> 00:32:24,974
Sure, champ.
She'll love that.
579
00:32:25,078 --> 00:32:26,942
Oh, you're just going?
Going to start?
580
00:32:27,045 --> 00:32:29,461
You're starting
the mission now? Okay.
581
00:32:53,658 --> 00:32:55,867
Oh!
582
00:33:04,910 --> 00:33:06,395
Go to sleep.
583
00:33:06,498 --> 00:33:08,155
♪ Take a little walk
To the edge of town ♪
584
00:33:08,259 --> 00:33:10,986
♪ And go across the tracks ♪
585
00:33:12,332 --> 00:33:16,439
♪ Where the viaduct looms
Like a bird of doom ♪
586
00:33:16,543 --> 00:33:20,650
♪ As it shifts and cracks ♪
587
00:33:20,754 --> 00:33:26,518
♪ Where secrets lie In the border
fires In the humming wires ♪
588
00:33:26,622 --> 00:33:29,763
♪ Hey, man, you know
You're never coming back ♪
589
00:33:29,866 --> 00:33:32,076
♪ Past the square
Past the bridge ♪
590
00:33:32,179 --> 00:33:35,113
♪ Past the mills
Past the stacks ♪
591
00:33:35,217 --> 00:33:36,356
Alan. What?
592
00:33:36,459 --> 00:33:38,220
This is a breach of trust, Alan.
593
00:33:38,323 --> 00:33:39,876
I can help. Let me help.
594
00:33:39,980 --> 00:33:43,156
♪ A tall handsome man
In a dusty black coat ♪
595
00:33:43,259 --> 00:33:45,917
Stay close. Stay alive.
596
00:33:50,784 --> 00:33:52,027
Hey.
597
00:33:54,443 --> 00:33:56,859
♪ He'll wrap you in his arms ♪
598
00:33:56,962 --> 00:33:58,481
Go to sleep.
599
00:33:58,585 --> 00:34:00,759
♪ Tell you that you've
Been a good boy ♪
600
00:34:00,863 --> 00:34:04,970
I got his head. What do I do with his head?
I'm just gonna set him down.
601
00:34:11,115 --> 00:34:12,323
No.
602
00:34:12,909 --> 00:34:14,083
Hey, hey, no!
603
00:34:14,187 --> 00:34:15,395
No, no, no!
604
00:34:17,052 --> 00:34:19,744
♪ There won't be a single thing
That you can do ♪
605
00:34:19,847 --> 00:34:22,850
♪ He's a god, he's a man
He's a ghost, he's a guru ♪
606
00:34:22,954 --> 00:34:24,783
Ooh, yeah! Ooh.
607
00:34:24,887 --> 00:34:25,887
Ow.
608
00:34:25,957 --> 00:34:27,510
Teamwork, yeah!
609
00:34:27,614 --> 00:34:30,893
Great effort, Alan, but that man
was already unconscious.
610
00:34:30,996 --> 00:34:32,688
I was already wound up.
611
00:34:33,620 --> 00:34:36,381
Just don't do it when I'm...
612
00:34:39,453 --> 00:34:40,730
Hi.
613
00:34:42,974 --> 00:34:44,700
- Oh!
614
00:34:45,977 --> 00:34:47,599
On your seven!
615
00:34:52,535 --> 00:34:53,605
Oh!
616
00:34:58,403 --> 00:35:00,336
Trainer, he's not asleep!
617
00:35:00,440 --> 00:35:02,614
Stay... Stay down. Stay down.
618
00:35:05,272 --> 00:35:07,792
- You're doing great.
- Thanks.
619
00:35:07,895 --> 00:35:09,414
Where you going?
620
00:35:09,518 --> 00:35:12,279
♪ Through the ghettos
And the barrio ♪
621
00:35:12,383 --> 00:35:14,902
♪ And the Bowery and the slums♪What?
622
00:35:17,560 --> 00:35:19,044
Loretta Sage?
623
00:35:19,528 --> 00:35:20,322
Yes.
624
00:35:20,425 --> 00:35:22,289
I'm getting you out of here.
625
00:35:23,325 --> 00:35:26,362
Why are you so handsome?
My dad was a weatherman.
626
00:35:28,571 --> 00:35:29,400
A-Alan?
627
00:35:29,503 --> 00:35:31,540
Yeah. What are you doing here?
628
00:35:31,643 --> 00:35:34,439
- Uh, irregardless, I'm here to save you.
- That's not...
629
00:35:34,543 --> 00:35:36,786
- I think he meant "regardless."
- Yes.
630
00:35:38,202 --> 00:35:42,171
Ooh, uh, does she need saving in there,
Trainer? I think she's fine there.
631
00:35:42,275 --> 00:35:45,450
No, no, leave it. Don't take their stuff.
They'll come after us.
632
00:35:48,108 --> 00:35:49,661
Alan, why do you
keep doing that?
633
00:35:49,765 --> 00:35:51,732
Why do you keep doing that?
I had that one.
634
00:35:51,836 --> 00:35:54,356
It's just getting mean now.
It's unnecessary.
635
00:35:54,459 --> 00:35:56,220
I'm sorry.
I just wanted to get one in.
636
00:35:56,323 --> 00:35:59,395
- Excuse me. Would it be possible to remove me from the chair?
- No time.
637
00:35:59,499 --> 00:36:01,915
- No time?
There's been so much chitchat.
638
00:36:02,018 --> 00:36:03,330
We should definitely go.
639
00:36:03,434 --> 00:36:05,056
Let's go! Let's go!
640
00:36:05,160 --> 00:36:08,128
♪ We're running with
The shadows of the night ♪
641
00:36:08,232 --> 00:36:12,408
♪ So, baby, take my hand
It'll be all right ♪
642
00:36:12,512 --> 00:36:16,516
♪ They'll come true in the end ♪
643
00:36:30,909 --> 00:36:32,048
Why are things exploding?
644
00:36:39,711 --> 00:36:40,747
I got...
645
00:36:42,404 --> 00:36:43,612
Okay.
646
00:36:44,509 --> 00:36:45,786
Shh...
647
00:36:45,890 --> 00:36:47,788
Shh. You're safe now.
648
00:36:47,892 --> 00:36:49,031
You're...
649
00:36:49,134 --> 00:36:51,275
How... How are you so calm?
650
00:36:51,378 --> 00:36:53,863
That was my...
That was my line.Here.
651
00:36:56,003 --> 00:36:57,902
What? Is that Reiki?
652
00:36:58,005 --> 00:37:00,456
Are you healing me? I think so.
653
00:37:00,560 --> 00:37:03,770
- Ah.
- As Laozi says, "To the mind that is still..."
654
00:37:03,873 --> 00:37:06,773
"the whole universe
surrenders."Hey, yeah, I know some...
655
00:37:06,876 --> 00:37:09,672
I know some, um, quotes that
could be good for this moment.
656
00:37:09,776 --> 00:37:11,502
In omnia paratus.
657
00:37:12,399 --> 00:37:14,263
"Ready for anything."
658
00:37:14,367 --> 00:37:17,024
Maybe we shouldn't be just staring
lovingly into each other's eyes
659
00:37:17,128 --> 00:37:20,580
like you're gonna fall in love
like I'm not here.
660
00:37:21,132 --> 00:37:22,132
Who are you?
661
00:37:22,202 --> 00:37:24,929
Just a guy trying to do his job.
662
00:37:25,032 --> 00:37:27,828
And right now, that job
is to get this lovely lady...
663
00:37:28,657 --> 00:37:30,175
Oh! Oh.
664
00:37:30,279 --> 00:37:32,177
Oh, God. Okay.
665
00:37:33,351 --> 00:37:35,560
- No. What is happening?
666
00:37:39,012 --> 00:37:40,979
Okay. What do we do?
667
00:37:41,083 --> 00:37:43,188
We need to do... I can't see.
668
00:37:43,292 --> 00:37:44,707
I don't like it!
669
00:37:44,811 --> 00:37:46,295
Here. Here!
670
00:37:46,399 --> 00:37:48,849
- Why would you throw a gun?
- Seriously?
671
00:37:50,230 --> 00:37:53,060
Get me out of the chair. I can't.
We don't have time.
672
00:37:56,616 --> 00:37:58,687
Gotta squeeze! You got to
do a Kegel or something!
673
00:37:58,790 --> 00:38:01,172
- Kegel it!
- What do you think a Kegel is?
674
00:38:01,276 --> 00:38:03,657
I'm not in it, not in!
Still not in!
675
00:38:03,761 --> 00:38:06,142
- You got to go in more.
- Stop. Stop. Stop it!
676
00:38:06,246 --> 00:38:08,248
Oh, oh, oh!
677
00:38:08,352 --> 00:38:11,872
Oh, God. Get in the car, get in the car!
Start the car! Start the car!
678
00:38:11,976 --> 00:38:13,253
- Go, go.
- Move your leg.
679
00:38:13,357 --> 00:38:15,669
Which one? Both of them! Move them!
680
00:38:19,432 --> 00:38:21,399
Forward, forward! Okay. Okay.
681
00:38:21,503 --> 00:38:25,817
- I'm going! I'm going! Okay!
- Drive!
682
00:38:26,956 --> 00:38:30,581
Shh. You're safe now. Shh.
683
00:38:32,237 --> 00:38:33,618
Ow.
684
00:38:33,722 --> 00:38:35,862
Shh. You're safe now. No, I'm not.
Not safe.
685
00:38:35,965 --> 00:38:37,726
Oh, no, am I bleeding?
686
00:38:37,829 --> 00:38:40,832
- I don't think that's yours.
- Oh, no, that's a lot of blood.
687
00:38:42,144 --> 00:38:43,973
Cheese and rice!
688
00:38:44,077 --> 00:38:45,561
Are those his brains? What?
689
00:38:45,665 --> 00:38:47,632
I think his brains
are on my face!
690
00:38:47,736 --> 00:38:51,360
Definitely his brains are in my mouth.
I can taste his thoughts!
691
00:38:51,464 --> 00:38:52,672
Focus on the road.
692
00:38:52,775 --> 00:38:54,915
He just liked
training people. Trainer.
693
00:38:55,019 --> 00:38:57,884
- What are you talking about?
- He loved me.
694
00:38:57,987 --> 00:39:00,576
Can you just scooch the car
over to the left?
695
00:39:00,680 --> 00:39:04,408
Get it off. Get it off. Oh, God.
696
00:39:04,511 --> 00:39:05,788
Watch out!
697
00:39:09,999 --> 00:39:12,899
Oh! Oh! Oh!
698
00:39:15,142 --> 00:39:16,903
Oh, did you see...
699
00:39:19,871 --> 00:39:20,907
No.
700
00:39:26,326 --> 00:39:27,638
Oh.
701
00:39:29,087 --> 00:39:31,400
Oh, no. Oh, no.
702
00:39:31,952 --> 00:39:33,437
Oh, no.
703
00:39:41,859 --> 00:39:43,412
Oh, no.
704
00:39:46,001 --> 00:39:49,591
Oh, holy Christmas.
Are you okay? Are you okay?
705
00:39:49,694 --> 00:39:51,765
Do you think you could
get me out of here?
706
00:39:51,869 --> 00:39:53,422
Yeah. Okay.
707
00:39:53,526 --> 00:39:56,425
You just flew out of the car.
I did. I did, indeed.
708
00:39:56,529 --> 00:39:57,978
Okay. I got you.
I got you.
709
00:39:58,082 --> 00:40:00,533
Can you get me out of the chair?
Get me out of the chair.
710
00:40:00,636 --> 00:40:02,466
You're right.
You're right. You're right.
711
00:40:03,812 --> 00:40:05,641
Is that...
Is that a nail filer? Yeah.
712
00:40:05,745 --> 00:40:07,229
Can you just rip it? It's working.
713
00:40:07,332 --> 00:40:09,127
And maybe next time
I toss a gun at you,
714
00:40:09,231 --> 00:40:11,129
you can catch it
instead of ducking.
715
00:40:11,233 --> 00:40:14,443
How about the next time you toss a gun
at me, you say, "Hey, Alan, catch"?
716
00:40:14,547 --> 00:40:16,411
Then maybe do that
before you throw it?
717
00:40:16,514 --> 00:40:18,620
Well, "here"
is a synonym for "catch."
718
00:40:18,723 --> 00:40:20,321
No, "here" is not a cinnamon
for "catch."
719
00:40:20,345 --> 00:40:22,417
In a colloquial kind of way,
yes, it is.
720
00:40:22,520 --> 00:40:24,626
You say, "Here,"
I toss you a sweatshirt.
721
00:40:24,729 --> 00:40:26,731
You say, "Here,"
I toss you a pen.
722
00:40:26,835 --> 00:40:29,907
How 'bout just,
"Hey! Catch! Gun!"
723
00:40:30,010 --> 00:40:33,013
Anything that you want to throw, I'll
catch it because you said, "Catch."
724
00:40:33,117 --> 00:40:34,877
And I'll catch it
because you said it.
725
00:40:34,981 --> 00:40:37,397
That is also an option, and then
we would have a gun with us.
726
00:40:37,501 --> 00:40:38,605
That's a thing.
727
00:40:38,709 --> 00:40:40,987
Be careful. Okay, we need to call...
728
00:40:41,090 --> 00:40:42,747
Be careful.
729
00:40:42,851 --> 00:40:45,371
We need to call for help, get to
the airport and get out of here.
730
00:40:45,474 --> 00:40:47,476
And I am driving.Okay.
731
00:40:49,685 --> 00:40:52,550
Oh. Oh. Oh, oh, oh, oh!
732
00:41:02,284 --> 00:41:04,666
Okay, call for... call for help.
733
00:41:04,769 --> 00:41:06,564
Where's your phone?
734
00:41:09,947 --> 00:41:10,982
Okay.
735
00:41:14,607 --> 00:41:17,437
- Tell me you caught them.
- I tagged the blond one.
736
00:41:19,094 --> 00:41:21,924
Oh, Loretta.
737
00:41:22,028 --> 00:41:24,099
What are you thinking?
738
00:41:24,202 --> 00:41:27,309
You might've killed one of them,
but his partner's still with her.
739
00:41:27,412 --> 00:41:31,071
And he is clearly skilled,
highly trained
740
00:41:32,072 --> 00:41:33,729
and very dangerous.
741
00:41:43,532 --> 00:41:47,605
So, Miss Sage said
she was gonna leave the event,
742
00:41:47,709 --> 00:41:52,368
then got in a car
and left the event?
743
00:41:52,472 --> 00:41:55,164
- Did you try calling her?
- She doesn't have her phone.
744
00:41:55,268 --> 00:41:56,683
Stolen phone. Didn't say that.
745
00:41:56,787 --> 00:41:58,547
Where's my magnifier?
746
00:41:58,651 --> 00:42:00,653
Listen, can you please
help with Nana?
747
00:42:00,756 --> 00:42:03,217
I don't want her hearing about Loretta
'cause it's going to upset her.
748
00:42:03,241 --> 00:42:06,313
- What about Loretta?
- Nothing, Nana. She just went on a trip.
749
00:42:06,417 --> 00:42:07,694
Yeah.
750
00:42:07,798 --> 00:42:10,248
That girl needed
to get out of the house.
751
00:42:10,352 --> 00:42:14,529
So, this is the thing. Loretta's
phone is not stolen. I took it.
752
00:42:14,632 --> 00:42:19,085
I gave it to Alan. Alan then gave
it to the trainer, uh, Jack Trainer.
753
00:42:19,188 --> 00:42:21,466
And that is how we found
her wearable.
754
00:42:21,570 --> 00:42:23,261
And who's Alan? Dash.
755
00:42:23,365 --> 00:42:26,195
- What's that?
- He's the hero in all of her books.
756
00:42:26,299 --> 00:42:29,336
- Nana. Hey, slut.
- Mm-mmm.
757
00:42:29,440 --> 00:42:32,374
Let's go in the other room and talk
about whichever war you lived through.
758
00:42:32,477 --> 00:42:35,619
Okay. Come on, it'll be fun.
I'm sorry. It'll be fun.
759
00:42:35,722 --> 00:42:37,655
Listen, Loretta Sage is missing.
760
00:42:37,759 --> 00:42:40,047
When I looked at her smartwatch,
it said that she had flown
761
00:42:40,071 --> 00:42:41,751
to some island
I've never even heard about.
762
00:42:41,832 --> 00:42:43,637
That means y'all need
to do something about this.
763
00:42:43,661 --> 00:42:46,043
And if you can't, I will, and
that won't look good for you.
764
00:42:46,146 --> 00:42:48,873
Pretty sure that's
outside our jurisdiction.
765
00:42:48,977 --> 00:42:52,014
- You'd have to call the Feds.
- Okay.
766
00:42:52,118 --> 00:42:54,499
And if you do go to the Feds,
put in a good word for me.
767
00:42:54,603 --> 00:42:56,985
For me. For us.
768
00:43:02,611 --> 00:43:04,130
Oh, oh.
769
00:43:11,171 --> 00:43:13,415
What are you gonna do,
put the car back together?
770
00:43:13,518 --> 00:43:15,728
Well... we could...
771
00:43:31,640 --> 00:43:34,332
Where did you say the phone was?
Passenger glove.
772
00:43:34,436 --> 00:43:36,196
What? Passenger glove compartment.
773
00:43:36,300 --> 00:43:37,542
Goodness.
774
00:43:38,647 --> 00:43:40,166
Oh, my God.
775
00:43:40,269 --> 00:43:42,513
Oh, my God. No phone, no car.
We're so gonna die out...
776
00:43:42,617 --> 00:43:44,342
Here. What is this?
777
00:43:44,446 --> 00:43:46,103
Boots for the jungle.
778
00:43:46,966 --> 00:43:48,795
It's not exactly
hiking boots, but...
779
00:43:48,899 --> 00:43:51,636
I figured your feet would be killing
you after wearing heels for this long.
780
00:43:51,660 --> 00:43:54,007
It was the best we could do.
They're Allison's. Sorry.
781
00:43:54,801 --> 00:43:56,872
Oh. Okay, well, thank you.
782
00:43:56,976 --> 00:43:58,771
Here, oh, I got you cheese.
783
00:43:58,874 --> 00:44:00,669
Oh, my God. You got to stay hydrated.
784
00:44:00,773 --> 00:44:02,740
Thank you so much. They didn't have
glass bottles,
785
00:44:02,844 --> 00:44:04,846
so we'll definitely
hold onto it and recycle.
786
00:44:07,434 --> 00:44:12,129
Okay, so what we need to do is find a
phone, we need to call the authorities,
787
00:44:12,232 --> 00:44:15,132
and we need to wait here until
somebody comes and rescues us.
788
00:44:15,235 --> 00:44:18,756
Uh... This...
This is the rescue.
789
00:44:18,860 --> 00:44:20,137
No one else is coming.
790
00:44:20,240 --> 00:44:22,208
I'm sorry? I'm the rescue.
791
00:44:22,311 --> 00:44:25,245
It was originally just gonna be me,
then I was like, Trainer should come.
792
00:44:25,349 --> 00:44:27,075
Oh, Trainer. Rest in peace.
793
00:44:27,178 --> 00:44:31,424
So, our best bet is to get to the airport.
See this road right here?
794
00:44:31,527 --> 00:44:34,220
From this area, just take a shortcut
through the jungle to the road.
795
00:44:34,323 --> 00:44:36,222
Did you just say "shortcut
through the jungle"?
796
00:44:36,325 --> 00:44:37,844
Yeah. Okay, do you see us?
797
00:44:37,948 --> 00:44:40,467
Uh-huh. You are not Dash,
and I'm not Lovemore. Okay?
798
00:44:40,571 --> 00:44:41,986
I'm Loretta, and you are Alan.
799
00:44:42,090 --> 00:44:44,402
And jungles
eat people like us, okay? Eat people.
800
00:44:44,506 --> 00:44:47,820
And I don't want to mess up the jumpsuit.
It's on loan. So we're gonna stay put.
801
00:44:47,923 --> 00:44:49,856
We're not just gonna
stand around here, okay?
802
00:44:49,960 --> 00:44:51,340
We're gonna go
through the jungle,
803
00:44:51,444 --> 00:44:53,549
we're gonna go to the airport
and find a phone,
804
00:44:53,653 --> 00:44:56,656
-so you can have your cake and get what you want.
- "And eat it too"?
805
00:44:56,760 --> 00:44:59,210
If that's what you want to do
with your cake, fine. Let's go.
806
00:44:59,314 --> 00:45:01,326
- That's the only thing you do with cake.
- Not mine.
807
00:45:01,350 --> 00:45:03,801
I don't know what your people
do, but my people eat it.
808
00:45:03,905 --> 00:45:06,114
You could give it
to someone as a gift.
809
00:45:06,217 --> 00:45:08,426
Those people
are still going to eat the cake.
810
00:45:08,530 --> 00:45:10,083
Everybody eats cake.
811
00:45:10,187 --> 00:45:12,016
What about the kind
people jump out of?
812
00:45:12,120 --> 00:45:15,054
They don't eat it,
when they're in it. Oh, my God.
813
00:45:41,356 --> 00:45:42,944
What did they
kidnap you for anyhow?
814
00:45:43,047 --> 00:45:44,911
Is it some weird sex stuff
like Taken?
815
00:45:45,015 --> 00:45:46,568
Oh, my God, thank you.
816
00:45:46,671 --> 00:45:49,398
I thought so too, but the
guy's one of the Fairfaxes.
817
00:45:49,502 --> 00:45:51,331
Beverly? No, the older one.
818
00:45:51,435 --> 00:45:54,887
The really odd one that had the vlog
on finding Montezuma's treasure.
819
00:45:54,990 --> 00:45:57,430
The dude that was on the news
for trying to raise the Titanic?
820
00:45:57,510 --> 00:45:59,305
Yes, he's looking for
the Crown of Fire.
821
00:45:59,408 --> 00:46:03,378
Wait a minute. Like the actual
Crown of Fire? Like the one...
822
00:46:03,481 --> 00:46:06,830
So those ruins were... They were
the Lost City of D, yes.
823
00:46:06,933 --> 00:46:09,246
What?
Are you kidding me right now? Shh.
824
00:46:09,349 --> 00:46:10,799
This is like your book.
825
00:46:10,903 --> 00:46:13,733
So we're basically on a Lovemore
and Dash adventure right now?
826
00:46:13,837 --> 00:46:15,839
What is that?
827
00:46:15,942 --> 00:46:18,427
What if Fairfax
actually finds the crown?
828
00:46:18,531 --> 00:46:19,912
He won't. He won't.
829
00:46:22,086 --> 00:46:23,191
Where do we go? Uh...
830
00:46:23,294 --> 00:46:25,262
Oh, oh, oh.
831
00:46:28,334 --> 00:46:30,474
Okay, uh, we need
to get in the water.
832
00:46:30,577 --> 00:46:32,683
W-What? We need to go by river.
833
00:46:32,787 --> 00:46:34,616
No, no, I don't really do water.
834
00:46:34,719 --> 00:46:37,146
What do you mean, "do water"? I'm
not asking you to procreate with it.
835
00:46:37,170 --> 00:46:39,621
Uh, my body and water
don't really go together.
836
00:46:39,724 --> 00:46:42,072
How do you feel about dying?
Oh, God.
837
00:46:42,175 --> 00:46:44,055
Hey. Whoa, whoa, whoa.
You're okay. You're okay.
838
00:46:44,143 --> 00:46:46,973
I got you. Fine. I can swim. I can swim.
Thank you very much.
839
00:46:47,077 --> 00:46:49,148
Where are you going? I'm crossing.
840
00:46:49,251 --> 00:46:51,219
No, we have to stay
in the water.
841
00:46:51,322 --> 00:46:53,853
I researched aquatic counter-tracking
for my book, A Year in the Bush.
842
00:46:53,877 --> 00:46:55,879
They'll lose our tracks
in the water.
843
00:46:55,982 --> 00:46:58,778
Why is it warm here?
Wait, are you peeing?
844
00:46:58,882 --> 00:47:00,884
Just go around it.
845
00:47:29,671 --> 00:47:31,190
Okay, I think...
846
00:47:31,293 --> 00:47:33,192
I think we lost them, right?
847
00:47:33,295 --> 00:47:36,298
Yeah. That wasn't so bad.
Yeah.
848
00:47:36,402 --> 00:47:38,059
Okay, uh...
849
00:47:38,162 --> 00:47:40,578
Don't panic. What do you mean, don't panic?
850
00:47:40,682 --> 00:47:41,890
- Just don't panic.
- No.
851
00:47:41,994 --> 00:47:43,754
Stop saying "panic."
I'm panicking now.
852
00:47:43,858 --> 00:47:45,721
You have something on your back.
853
00:47:47,240 --> 00:47:48,034
No!
854
00:47:48,138 --> 00:47:49,622
Stop screaming. What is that?
855
00:47:49,725 --> 00:47:50,968
What is that? Stop screaming.
856
00:47:51,072 --> 00:47:52,521
Do you have any on you? No. No.
857
00:47:52,625 --> 00:47:54,075
Why don't you have any on you?
858
00:47:54,178 --> 00:47:56,053
Maybe the jumpsuit scared them off.
I don't know.
859
00:47:56,077 --> 00:47:57,595
Get 'em off. Oh, my God.
860
00:47:57,699 --> 00:48:00,219
Okay. No, I can't touch
those blood-gorged mucous sacks.
861
00:48:00,322 --> 00:48:01,772
Can you fling it? Right now.
862
00:48:01,876 --> 00:48:03,256
Get it. Just pick it
and fling it.
863
00:48:03,360 --> 00:48:05,338
Just pick it and fling it.
You pick it and fling it!
864
00:48:05,362 --> 00:48:07,433
Can you spin it off? Please, get it off.
865
00:48:07,536 --> 00:48:09,573
I don't like touching it.
I'm feeling faint.
866
00:48:09,676 --> 00:48:12,783
They're sucking my soul out. Okay, okay.
Stop, stop, stop.
867
00:48:14,440 --> 00:48:16,683
Don't make that sound.
868
00:48:20,273 --> 00:48:21,757
How many of them are there?
869
00:48:21,861 --> 00:48:23,380
Oh, there's not many.
870
00:48:23,483 --> 00:48:25,485
It feels like there's so many.
What are you...
871
00:48:25,589 --> 00:48:26,901
I feel so many. Oh!
872
00:48:27,004 --> 00:48:29,558
Holy mother of God! Why are you praying?
873
00:48:29,662 --> 00:48:32,699
Is it that bad? It can't be that bad.
Is it that bad? How many?
874
00:48:32,803 --> 00:48:34,046
It's not great.
875
00:48:34,149 --> 00:48:35,806
They're gonna suck
every bit of me out.
876
00:48:35,910 --> 00:48:38,567
Just please stop speaking.
I just need to... need to get low.
877
00:48:38,671 --> 00:48:40,397
Hold on a second.
878
00:48:40,500 --> 00:48:43,296
Oh, God! I can feel them just...
they're just sucking out so much.
879
00:48:43,400 --> 00:48:46,265
I'm gonna be like a shriveled-up
skin sack when they're done.
880
00:48:46,368 --> 00:48:48,336
You cannot tell my dad
I died this way, okay?
881
00:48:48,439 --> 00:48:52,478
You gotta tell him I was wrestling an
anaconda with a sword or something.
882
00:48:52,581 --> 00:48:55,377
I'm like a blood Jamba Juice.
They're just sucking it all out.
883
00:48:55,481 --> 00:48:57,103
Why are they all
on my butt though?
884
00:48:57,207 --> 00:48:59,830
Kind of like picking anchovies
off my Caesar salad.
885
00:48:59,934 --> 00:49:01,659
- It's actually not so bad.
- Anchovies?
886
00:49:01,763 --> 00:49:03,351
Why do you go to food right now?
887
00:49:03,454 --> 00:49:06,319
Just find the queen,
and let's be done with this.
888
00:49:06,423 --> 00:49:08,770
Think you're good.
I need to just check your front.
889
00:49:08,873 --> 00:49:11,117
Okay. I can't look.
890
00:49:13,361 --> 00:49:14,672
Is it bad?
891
00:49:14,776 --> 00:49:17,882
Uh, wow. What is it? Just say it.
892
00:49:17,986 --> 00:49:21,334
I mean, you expect it to,
you know, not...
893
00:49:21,438 --> 00:49:24,165
Then suddenly there it is,
and it is, uh...
894
00:49:24,268 --> 00:49:26,512
You know, you get excited
for a person. What?
895
00:49:26,615 --> 00:49:29,239
I mean, I'm excited for all people.
Why are you excited?
896
00:49:29,342 --> 00:49:31,655
Well, you know, people
wonder, they wonder,
897
00:49:31,758 --> 00:49:33,381
but they don't know, right?
898
00:49:33,484 --> 00:49:35,970
They don't,
until suddenly they do know,
899
00:49:36,073 --> 00:49:40,388
and then they... they know
something that wasn't known before.
900
00:49:40,491 --> 00:49:42,355
Just...
Do I have any leeches or not?
901
00:49:42,459 --> 00:49:46,566
Oh, your plucky warrior hangs
in tranquil solitude.
902
00:49:46,670 --> 00:49:47,774
What?
903
00:49:47,878 --> 00:49:50,018
No, you're good.
You're good.
904
00:49:51,157 --> 00:49:52,883
We were so brave just then.
905
00:49:52,987 --> 00:49:55,230
Why do they go for the butt
so much?
906
00:50:16,527 --> 00:50:19,392
What's that song you're singing?
907
00:50:19,496 --> 00:50:22,499
A song my abbiused to sing
to me when I was a kid.
908
00:50:23,465 --> 00:50:26,123
"If you suck life
from the island... Yeah?
909
00:50:26,227 --> 00:50:29,023
The island
will suck of you."
910
00:50:29,126 --> 00:50:33,061
Your grandma sang you songs about
getting sucked off by an island?
911
00:50:33,165 --> 00:50:35,512
It doesn't translate super well.
912
00:50:36,409 --> 00:50:39,240
Is phantom leech syndrome,
like, a thing?
913
00:50:39,343 --> 00:50:41,345
They don't lay eggs, do they?
914
00:51:30,463 --> 00:51:31,671
Queen Taha?
915
00:51:45,271 --> 00:51:49,655
"King Kalaman
and his treasure laid to rest..."
916
00:51:50,587 --> 00:51:54,246
laid to rest
in the well of endless tears.
917
00:51:54,349 --> 00:51:56,282
"Laid to rest in
the well of endless tears."
918
00:51:56,386 --> 00:51:58,250
What does that mean? Loretta!
919
00:51:58,940 --> 00:52:00,666
You gave me a heart attack.
920
00:52:01,356 --> 00:52:03,013
Where'd you go?
921
00:52:07,086 --> 00:52:08,639
What is this?
922
00:52:08,743 --> 00:52:11,987
I'm not sure,
but maybe they gathered here?
923
00:52:14,542 --> 00:52:17,200
Can you imagine
being right here,
924
00:52:17,303 --> 00:52:19,961
right in this very spot
back then?
925
00:52:20,064 --> 00:52:21,790
The stories that they told?
926
00:52:21,894 --> 00:52:24,655
So much history I'm sure
happened right here.
927
00:52:29,971 --> 00:52:31,352
They've got us cornered.
928
00:52:31,455 --> 00:52:33,147
Okay. We've got to go up.
Come on. What?
929
00:52:33,250 --> 00:52:36,357
Have you seen what I'm wearing?
I'm in a glitter straitjacket.
930
00:52:36,460 --> 00:52:39,429
There's nowhere to go but up.
Come on. Let's go.
931
00:52:39,532 --> 00:52:43,087
Oh! I should not be doing this.
I'm too old for this.
932
00:52:43,191 --> 00:52:44,375
No, you're not.
You're beautiful.
933
00:52:44,399 --> 00:52:46,056
I didn't say I'm not beautiful.
934
00:52:46,160 --> 00:52:48,058
I said I'm too old
to be doing this.
935
00:52:48,162 --> 00:52:51,786
My skill is sitting and thinking
and eating when I can't think.
936
00:52:51,889 --> 00:52:54,306
Yeah, you definitely could be
wearing better shoes for this.
937
00:52:54,409 --> 00:52:56,308
You brought me these shoes.
938
00:52:56,411 --> 00:52:58,965
I can't go any further.
I can't go any further.
939
00:52:59,069 --> 00:53:00,795
I'm not doing so great here.
940
00:53:00,898 --> 00:53:02,314
You got it. Come on.
941
00:53:02,417 --> 00:53:04,281
I know you think
that you're safer holding on,
942
00:53:04,385 --> 00:53:05,662
but you have to keep going.
943
00:53:05,765 --> 00:53:07,664
I can't. I can't, I can't.Okay?
944
00:53:08,458 --> 00:53:09,907
Do you smell that? Smell what?
945
00:53:10,011 --> 00:53:11,851
I smell something. Is it a predator?
What is it?
946
00:53:11,875 --> 00:53:13,875
A downward cascading fire?
You got to smell deeper.
947
00:53:13,911 --> 00:53:15,085
I don't smell anything!
948
00:53:18,502 --> 00:53:21,747
Take a big, deep breath.
949
00:53:21,850 --> 00:53:23,162
All right.
950
00:53:23,266 --> 00:53:24,888
Good job.Okay.
951
00:53:24,991 --> 00:53:28,616
That was manipulative.
Thank you. Yeah, it was.
952
00:53:28,719 --> 00:53:31,205
Here we go. I'm gonna help you
out a little bit, all right?
953
00:53:31,308 --> 00:53:33,428
- One, two, three... Here we go!
- What are you doing?
954
00:53:33,483 --> 00:53:34,863
Get out of there. Come on.
955
00:53:34,967 --> 00:53:37,038
No, no, don't flex. That's my hoo-hoo.
956
00:53:37,141 --> 00:53:40,075
Just ride the head. Keep the
hands moving and ride the head.
957
00:53:40,179 --> 00:53:41,491
Oh, God. You're doing great.
958
00:53:41,594 --> 00:53:44,252
Sorry about the scratchy haircut.
Come on.
959
00:54:04,341 --> 00:54:06,585
Dulcius ex asperis.
960
00:54:07,171 --> 00:54:08,552
What was that?
961
00:54:08,656 --> 00:54:10,174
Oh, nothing.
962
00:54:10,278 --> 00:54:12,522
It was just something
that John and I would say
963
00:54:12,625 --> 00:54:15,766
after we finished
something big, like a...
964
00:54:15,870 --> 00:54:17,837
like an archaeological dig
or a manuscript.
965
00:54:17,941 --> 00:54:21,255
It's Latin. It means
"sweeter after difficulty."
966
00:54:22,394 --> 00:54:23,774
What's...
967
00:54:23,878 --> 00:54:25,811
What's Latin
for "Loretta's a badass"?
968
00:54:25,914 --> 00:54:30,402
I am a badass.
I climbed a mountain.
969
00:54:30,505 --> 00:54:33,474
Oh, my God. I wish Beth
could've seen us do this.
970
00:54:33,577 --> 00:54:36,408
Oh, God. Beth. Don't worry about Beth.
971
00:54:36,511 --> 00:54:39,997
She's probably got the whole
navy after us right now.
972
00:54:40,101 --> 00:54:43,173
I get that you think you have to go
to the island authorities yourself,
973
00:54:43,277 --> 00:54:46,694
but don't worry, I'm keeping
Loretta's socials super active.
974
00:54:46,797 --> 00:54:49,179
Just tweeted,
"Did I just get kidnapped?
975
00:54:49,283 --> 00:54:52,803
#FML, @ShawnMendes,
#ShawnMendes."
976
00:54:52,907 --> 00:54:54,564
And you're traveling alone?
977
00:54:54,667 --> 00:54:57,498
Yes, I'm traveling alone.
Mm-hmm. I'm single.
978
00:54:58,084 --> 00:54:59,293
Then this might work.
979
00:54:59,396 --> 00:55:01,225
Okay! Talk to me. You'll hit New York.
980
00:55:01,329 --> 00:55:04,850
From there, you'll fly to Guinea,
where you can pick up a puddle jumper.
981
00:55:04,953 --> 00:55:06,023
A what?
982
00:55:06,955 --> 00:55:08,440
Small plane. Yeah, no leg room.
983
00:55:08,543 --> 00:55:09,717
That's fine. I'll take it.
984
00:55:09,820 --> 00:55:11,857
Or you could just come home. Thank you.
985
00:55:19,727 --> 00:55:22,212
We need something more flammable.
Everything is just so wet.
986
00:55:22,316 --> 00:55:23,834
What's in here?
What's in your bag?
987
00:55:23,938 --> 00:55:25,802
Uh... Oh, a lot. Okay.
988
00:55:25,905 --> 00:55:27,355
What are you doing?
989
00:55:27,459 --> 00:55:29,323
Okay. Face masks.
990
00:55:29,426 --> 00:55:30,921
Yeah, that was like
a gift-basket thing.
991
00:55:30,945 --> 00:55:32,912
You brought a scented candle
into the jungle?
992
00:55:33,016 --> 00:55:34,293
My mom gave me that.
993
00:55:34,397 --> 00:55:36,029
It was like a weird gift
for Mother's Day.
994
00:55:36,053 --> 00:55:38,332
Your mom gives you gifts
for Mother's Day?
995
00:55:39,643 --> 00:55:40,437
Noir...
996
00:55:40,541 --> 00:55:42,508
Eucalyptus rosemary oil.
Ooh.
997
00:55:43,095 --> 00:55:44,372
Oh, that smells good.
998
00:55:44,476 --> 00:55:46,650
Um... Oh, okay. All right.
999
00:55:46,754 --> 00:55:48,376
Whoo! Yes!
1000
00:55:48,480 --> 00:55:50,930
Yes, I made fire!
1001
00:55:51,034 --> 00:55:54,589
- That's pretty impressive. You have to...
- It is a beautiful fire.
1002
00:55:54,693 --> 00:55:56,626
Who would have thought?
1003
00:55:56,729 --> 00:55:59,214
Oh, you're just, um,
taking your shirt off?
1004
00:56:00,319 --> 00:56:02,356
That looks really uncomfortable.
1005
00:56:02,459 --> 00:56:04,358
Are you okay? The back?
1006
00:56:04,461 --> 00:56:08,534
Yeah. That is why
I don't do water.
1007
00:56:08,638 --> 00:56:10,916
Okay. My body becomes
an eighth-grader's face.
1008
00:56:11,019 --> 00:56:13,884
Do you have anything for it?
Like some ointment or something?
1009
00:56:13,988 --> 00:56:15,886
Yeah, I do. Well, I did.
1010
00:56:15,990 --> 00:56:18,061
It was in a little,
tiny little bottle.
1011
00:56:18,164 --> 00:56:20,132
It was this. I'm sorry.
1012
00:56:20,235 --> 00:56:22,272
Oh, God, I'm sorry.
1013
00:56:22,376 --> 00:56:23,722
It's okay.
1014
00:56:23,825 --> 00:56:26,138
- Hold on. Yes. Come here. Come here.
- What?
1015
00:56:26,241 --> 00:56:28,658
- Come here. Sit down.
- Let me see.
1016
00:56:28,761 --> 00:56:30,245
Just sit down. Right here?
1017
00:56:30,349 --> 00:56:31,557
Yeah.
1018
00:56:32,765 --> 00:56:34,388
Okay.
1019
00:56:34,491 --> 00:56:36,435
Oh, no, you don't have to touch it.
It's okay. It's fine.
1020
00:56:36,459 --> 00:56:38,461
I touched
your engorged sacks, so...
1021
00:56:40,670 --> 00:56:42,396
The leeches. Oh, okay.
1022
00:56:42,499 --> 00:56:45,295
Okay, this might be
a little bit cold.
1023
00:56:46,469 --> 00:56:48,194
Sorry. Oh, yeah. Mm-hmm.
1024
00:56:48,298 --> 00:56:49,575
Sorry, sorry, sorry.
1025
00:56:49,679 --> 00:56:51,646
Maybe this is how
Dash should die.
1026
00:56:51,750 --> 00:56:54,787
Horrible eczema outbreak.
That's so sexy.
1027
00:56:54,891 --> 00:56:56,410
I could make it work.
1028
00:56:56,858 --> 00:56:57,894
Yeah?
1029
00:56:58,550 --> 00:56:59,999
All right, then.
1030
00:57:01,276 --> 00:57:03,002
How would you write this?
1031
00:57:03,106 --> 00:57:04,590
Okay.
1032
00:57:06,489 --> 00:57:09,802
"Warmed
by the fragrant fire..."
1033
00:57:09,906 --> 00:57:12,356
Mm-hmm.
1034
00:57:12,460 --> 00:57:14,358
Starting strong.Mm-hmm.
1035
00:57:14,462 --> 00:57:17,569
"Lovemore's hands
explored the..."
1036
00:57:19,329 --> 00:57:21,814
the contoured scenery
1037
00:57:21,918 --> 00:57:23,506
of Dash's body.
1038
00:57:25,646 --> 00:57:28,338
Familiar terrain made
1039
00:57:28,442 --> 00:57:30,789
new and exciting with every...
1040
00:57:31,721 --> 00:57:34,068
"with every scarlet rim."
1041
00:57:35,172 --> 00:57:36,864
And that didn't, uh...
1042
00:57:37,692 --> 00:57:39,211
didn't turn her off?
1043
00:57:39,314 --> 00:57:40,523
No.
1044
00:57:41,351 --> 00:57:43,180
"Because with every
cardinal ridge,"
1045
00:57:44,181 --> 00:57:46,598
Lovemore discovered
another letter in the language
1046
00:57:46,701 --> 00:57:48,807
"that only their bodies spoke."
1047
00:57:49,842 --> 00:57:51,879
And what were
their bodies saying?
1048
00:57:53,846 --> 00:57:55,399
"Take me..."
1049
00:57:57,298 --> 00:57:58,920
take me,
1050
00:57:59,507 --> 00:58:01,198
"take me."
1051
00:58:01,302 --> 00:58:02,614
How's that?
1052
00:58:03,442 --> 00:58:04,719
It was good.
1053
00:58:04,823 --> 00:58:06,549
Your back.
I mean, how is your back? Good.
1054
00:58:06,652 --> 00:58:08,067
Okay. You sure? Yeah.
1055
00:58:08,171 --> 00:58:12,727
I also meant my back.
Right there, yeah.Okay.
1056
00:58:20,977 --> 00:58:22,012
Supplies.
1057
00:58:24,152 --> 00:58:28,432
Okay, I'm chilly. I think I'm gonna
probably turn in in a little bit.
1058
00:58:28,536 --> 00:58:29,744
Okay. You good?
1059
00:58:29,848 --> 00:58:32,506
Yeah, I'm fire... fine.
I'm fine.
1060
00:58:32,609 --> 00:58:35,543
I'm not "fire."
I'm fine by the fire.
1061
00:58:36,233 --> 00:58:37,959
Okay. All right.
1062
00:58:45,864 --> 00:58:49,177
Uh, it's up to you,
but if you're cold,
1063
00:58:49,281 --> 00:58:53,492
maybe we could probably both
fit in here, if you wanted to.
1064
00:58:54,148 --> 00:58:55,874
Both of us?
1065
00:58:55,977 --> 00:58:59,015
Only if you want to.
I mean, it's just... Yeah, no, that sounds...
1066
00:58:59,118 --> 00:59:00,603
Uh...
1067
00:59:00,706 --> 00:59:02,087
Okay. How do you...
1068
00:59:02,190 --> 00:59:04,158
You can go first,
then I'll figure it out.
1069
00:59:04,261 --> 00:59:07,402
No, no, you go. It's definitely a
"ladies first" type of situation.
1070
00:59:07,506 --> 00:59:10,164
Keep hands out of the bag
at all times. That's what I was gonna do.
1071
00:59:10,267 --> 00:59:11,924
Butt to butt. Hands out and butt to butt.
1072
00:59:12,028 --> 00:59:15,341
Yeah. What do I do? Just get in.
Go ahead and sit.
1073
00:59:15,445 --> 00:59:18,137
I sit first?
Okay. I'm in.
1074
00:59:19,691 --> 00:59:22,279
You're too heavy. You're gonna
flip this thing like a cruise ship.
1075
00:59:22,383 --> 00:59:25,041
You watch yourself.
Hold on. I'm not in.
1076
00:59:25,144 --> 00:59:28,320
Why is this engaging
my core so much?
1077
00:59:29,114 --> 00:59:31,012
How 'bout you shimmy?
1078
00:59:31,116 --> 00:59:33,221
I can't breathe.
I'm not breathing. Are you good?
1079
00:59:33,325 --> 00:59:34,637
My face.
1080
00:59:35,223 --> 00:59:36,466
Yeah. Okay.
1081
00:59:39,573 --> 00:59:41,057
Hands are out. Butt to butt.
1082
00:59:41,160 --> 00:59:42,196
Okay.
1083
01:00:13,399 --> 01:00:14,987
Well!
1084
01:00:15,091 --> 01:00:16,230
Come on.
1085
01:00:16,333 --> 01:00:17,990
Come on! Let's hear it!
1086
01:00:18,094 --> 01:00:21,580
Let's give a nice round
of applause to Loretta!
1087
01:00:21,684 --> 01:00:23,306
She earned it.
1088
01:00:23,409 --> 01:00:27,275
A geriatric shut-in left you
holding your dicks in the jungle.
1089
01:00:27,379 --> 01:00:28,760
Good job, Loretta.
1090
01:00:28,863 --> 01:00:31,383
Boss, come on.
People are dying now.
1091
01:00:31,486 --> 01:00:35,145
Don't you think that maybe
this has all gone too far?
1092
01:00:36,388 --> 01:00:38,114
Is it really worth it?
1093
01:00:38,217 --> 01:00:41,600
I am on the cusp
of attaining the unattainable.
1094
01:00:41,704 --> 01:00:44,707
Something singular,
something no nation,
1095
01:00:44,810 --> 01:00:48,400
no emperor, no brownnosing
brothers ever have.
1096
01:00:48,503 --> 01:00:51,610
The legendary Crown of Fire.
1097
01:00:52,059 --> 01:00:53,198
So, yes.
1098
01:00:53,301 --> 01:00:55,614
Yes, I would definitely say
it's worth it.
1099
01:01:05,348 --> 01:01:06,867
Excuse me!
1100
01:01:06,970 --> 01:01:09,870
Excuse me, sir. I need to get
to my next connecting flight.
1101
01:01:09,973 --> 01:01:11,319
No flight.
1102
01:01:11,423 --> 01:01:14,012
The pilot is sick.
Come tomorrow.
1103
01:01:14,115 --> 01:01:16,335
No, no, sir. I cannot come tomorrow.
I need to do this today.
1104
01:01:16,359 --> 01:01:21,088
I need to get to the island Isla
Hundida tonight. Lives are at stake.
1105
01:01:21,191 --> 01:01:22,676
Come tomorrow.
1106
01:01:26,507 --> 01:01:28,198
Excuse me, miss? Yes?
1107
01:01:28,302 --> 01:01:32,375
I couldn't help but overhear
you say that you like steak.
1108
01:01:32,478 --> 01:01:35,758
Okay, this is
a little bit crazy,
1109
01:01:35,861 --> 01:01:37,656
but I also like steak.
1110
01:01:37,760 --> 01:01:40,107
What? I also like steak.
1111
01:01:40,210 --> 01:01:43,662
Would you like to, maybe,
I don't know...
1112
01:01:43,766 --> 01:01:46,596
- Maybe there's a...
- No. "Lives are at stake."
1113
01:01:46,700 --> 01:01:48,460
I need to go
to the island tonight.
1114
01:01:48,563 --> 01:01:49,979
Ah.Yes.
1115
01:01:50,082 --> 01:01:51,670
Even more serious.Extremely.
1116
01:01:51,774 --> 01:01:54,777
Well, I believe that I
may be able to assist you.
1117
01:01:54,880 --> 01:01:56,813
I have a cargo plane.
1118
01:01:57,987 --> 01:02:01,680
Maybe after I make my delivery,
we could swing by your island.
1119
01:02:01,784 --> 01:02:04,579
I'm about to ask you something,
and you better tell me the truth.
1120
01:02:04,683 --> 01:02:06,547
Have you ever
murdered anyone before?
1121
01:02:06,650 --> 01:02:09,895
No!
1122
01:02:13,485 --> 01:02:16,212
I don't know if I really buy it,
but let me tell you something.
1123
01:02:16,315 --> 01:02:20,561
If you ever think about murdering me,
I promise, I will murder you first.
1124
01:02:20,664 --> 01:02:22,011
My pleasure.
1125
01:02:22,114 --> 01:02:24,254
You are weird. Let's go.
1126
01:03:19,654 --> 01:03:23,072
"King Kalaman and his treasure
laid to rest in the well
1127
01:03:23,727 --> 01:03:25,143
of endless tears."
1128
01:03:26,834 --> 01:03:28,008
What is that?
1129
01:03:29,181 --> 01:03:32,633
Oh, it's a... it's a thing.
I mean, it's not, uh...
1130
01:03:32,736 --> 01:03:34,980
You know, it's not
what you think it is.
1131
01:03:35,084 --> 01:03:38,881
So it's not Fairfax's fragment
of an ancient parchment?
1132
01:03:38,984 --> 01:03:42,781
Okay.
It's what you think it is.
1133
01:03:42,885 --> 01:03:44,414
Loretta, I thought
you were smarter than that.
1134
01:03:44,438 --> 01:03:47,234
Fairfax is never
gonna stop hunting us now.
1135
01:03:47,337 --> 01:03:48,338
What were you thinking?
1136
01:03:48,442 --> 01:03:50,409
We have a volcano
that could bury the tomb
1137
01:03:50,513 --> 01:03:54,068
before we get to it, before we see
it, before we preserve its memory.
1138
01:03:54,172 --> 01:03:56,105
This is... I'm sorry.
Is that what we're doing?
1139
01:03:56,208 --> 01:03:58,728
'Cause no one told me.
When were you gonna tell me?
1140
01:03:58,832 --> 01:04:00,247
Why would I tell you?
1141
01:04:00,350 --> 01:04:02,259
We're in this together.
I came here to rescue you.
1142
01:04:02,283 --> 01:04:03,975
You know you're not Dash, right?
1143
01:04:04,078 --> 01:04:06,322
You don't ride in on a white
horse to rescue people.
1144
01:04:06,425 --> 01:04:10,705
You... spray yourself with bronzer and
you stand in front of wind machines,
1145
01:04:10,809 --> 01:04:12,328
which is great for you.
1146
01:04:12,431 --> 01:04:15,089
How would you have any idea
what I'm actually like?
1147
01:04:15,193 --> 01:04:18,127
I know you. You're
a pretty open book, Alan.
1148
01:04:18,230 --> 01:04:20,025
- Okay, then who am I?
- Really?
1149
01:04:20,129 --> 01:04:21,164
Yeah.
1150
01:04:23,235 --> 01:04:25,444
O... Okay, uh...
1151
01:04:25,548 --> 01:04:28,654
You were a homecoming king and you
coasted on your good looks to LA,
1152
01:04:28,758 --> 01:04:31,357
but then realized that being the most
handsome kid in the middle of nowhere
1153
01:04:31,381 --> 01:04:33,107
doesn't mean
you're going to be a star.
1154
01:04:33,211 --> 01:04:35,120
Until one day, when a woman
who couldn't publish her book
1155
01:04:35,144 --> 01:04:38,733
on Spanish colonization in the Atlantic
decided to write a romance novel,
1156
01:04:38,837 --> 01:04:40,770
uh, chose you at random
to be on the cover.
1157
01:04:40,874 --> 01:04:44,291
Lucky for you and her, the
novels were a smashing success.
1158
01:04:44,394 --> 01:04:47,397
She kept writing her schlock,
you kept posing,
1159
01:04:47,501 --> 01:04:52,955
um, you know, neither one of us
becoming who we'd hoped we would be.
1160
01:04:53,058 --> 01:04:57,166
Uh, and then one day,
we both die in the jungle
1161
01:04:57,269 --> 01:05:01,170
on one of those Atlantic islands
I wrote about all those years ago.
1162
01:05:01,273 --> 01:05:02,309
Right?
1163
01:05:03,655 --> 01:05:04,967
Mm-hmm.
1164
01:05:16,254 --> 01:05:17,980
It was Sarasota, by the way.
1165
01:05:18,497 --> 01:05:20,085
It's not nowhere.
1166
01:05:20,189 --> 01:05:22,432
I grew up there with
my mom and two sisters.
1167
01:05:22,536 --> 01:05:23,571
And yeah...
1168
01:05:24,572 --> 01:05:27,265
I started modeling
'cause I wanted to get away.
1169
01:05:27,368 --> 01:05:29,301
It was the only job
that I could think of
1170
01:05:29,405 --> 01:05:32,649
that could take me to all of the
places that I always dreamed of going.
1171
01:05:32,753 --> 01:05:34,065
Then finally to Los Angeles,
1172
01:05:34,168 --> 01:05:36,930
where I posed on the cover
of your romance novel.
1173
01:05:37,033 --> 01:05:39,933
And I was so embarrassed that one
of my friends might've seen me
1174
01:05:40,036 --> 01:05:42,176
in that wig
on the cover of your book
1175
01:05:42,280 --> 01:05:44,938
that I avoided talking to them
for months.
1176
01:05:45,904 --> 01:05:47,388
And then one day,
1177
01:05:48,113 --> 01:05:49,977
I'm walking home,
1178
01:05:50,081 --> 01:05:52,876
and I hear this lady yell,
"Dash!"
1179
01:05:52,980 --> 01:05:55,500
She runs up,
and she is so happy.
1180
01:05:55,603 --> 01:05:59,366
Then I thought,
"How could I be this embarrassed
1181
01:05:59,469 --> 01:06:02,162
about something
that makes people this happy?"
1182
01:06:05,510 --> 01:06:07,201
Loretta, you can do
whatever you want.
1183
01:06:07,305 --> 01:06:09,410
If you don't want to write
anymore, don't write.
1184
01:06:09,514 --> 01:06:14,001
But don't minimize the people that
love your work by calling it schlock.
1185
01:06:14,105 --> 01:06:16,659
That's not fair to them.
1186
01:06:17,867 --> 01:06:20,766
You know what's ironic? I thought
you of all people would know
1187
01:06:20,870 --> 01:06:23,321
not to judge a book
by its cover.
1188
01:06:27,394 --> 01:06:29,983
Judge a book by its cover model.
1189
01:07:01,462 --> 01:07:02,636
Alan?
1190
01:07:02,739 --> 01:07:04,017
Alan.
1191
01:07:15,994 --> 01:07:17,340
There's two of them.
1192
01:07:23,450 --> 01:07:26,142
Loretta! I'm over here! Alan!
1193
01:07:27,212 --> 01:07:30,284
Alan! Motorcycles and guns,
motorcycles and guns!
1194
01:07:30,388 --> 01:07:32,528
Come on, this way!
1195
01:07:32,631 --> 01:07:34,254
Stop shooting!
1196
01:07:39,500 --> 01:07:41,468
Just give 'em the parchment! I can't.
1197
01:07:41,571 --> 01:07:44,229
Yes, you can, actually. You just
say, "Here," and throw it at 'em.
1198
01:07:44,333 --> 01:07:46,645
Right. And then I'm sure
they'll happily let us go.
1199
01:07:46,749 --> 01:07:48,751
Okay, keep down. How do
they keep finding us?
1200
01:07:48,854 --> 01:07:51,419
You're basically a walking disco ball.
We need to come up with a plan.
1201
01:07:51,443 --> 01:07:52,513
I have an idea.
1202
01:07:52,617 --> 01:07:54,146
We're gonna dig a hole,
throw our voices.
1203
01:07:54,170 --> 01:07:56,103
"We're over here."
Can you sound like a bird?
1204
01:07:56,207 --> 01:07:58,519
No, I have a plan. Alan,
please, I'm thinking.
1205
01:07:58,623 --> 01:08:02,316
I know, but I have a plan.
Please, just let me think about...
1206
01:08:02,420 --> 01:08:06,044
Wait a minute. They're shooting at you.
Yeah, that's why we're hiding.
1207
01:08:06,148 --> 01:08:08,460
No. No, no, no.
They're shooting only at you.
1208
01:08:08,564 --> 01:08:11,084
They won't shoot me.
It's my brain that's valuable.
1209
01:08:11,187 --> 01:08:15,053
What? I don't think you actually
hear the things you say sometimes.
1210
01:08:15,157 --> 01:08:17,849
Maybe I can shield you.
You are not shielding me.
1211
01:08:17,952 --> 01:08:20,196
I should be shielding you. Why?
Because I'm a woman?
1212
01:08:20,300 --> 01:08:23,380
That's supremely sexist. Well, look,
I don't think using women as human shields
1213
01:08:23,475 --> 01:08:26,202
is exactly the change that Gloria
Seinfeld had in mind, do you?
1214
01:08:26,306 --> 01:08:29,136
Gloria Steinem? Whatever. Her too.
You know what? Fine.
1215
01:08:29,240 --> 01:08:32,312
Please mansplain sexism
to me right now. Oh, my God. I am a woman.
1216
01:08:32,415 --> 01:08:34,521
I can't mansplain anything.
1217
01:08:34,624 --> 01:08:39,353
Uh, I'm a feminist, and I think a
woman can do anything a man can do.
1218
01:08:39,457 --> 01:08:41,907
We just need to stay here
until they get tired. I have an idea.
1219
01:08:42,011 --> 01:08:43,702
Please can I tell you
my plan? Alan!
1220
01:08:43,806 --> 01:08:47,120
This is not a situation you can get
out of by ripping your shirt off.
1221
01:08:47,223 --> 01:08:49,156
Not my shirt.
1222
01:09:20,601 --> 01:09:21,913
Three!
1223
01:09:22,016 --> 01:09:23,604
- Yes!
- Oh!
1224
01:09:27,712 --> 01:09:29,576
Oh.
1225
01:09:29,679 --> 01:09:32,924
That was different
than I had in my head.
1226
01:09:33,027 --> 01:09:37,100
I just wanted us to stop them. Could it
have been the wind that made it do that?
1227
01:09:37,204 --> 01:09:39,310
No, I think it was us.
I think... we did it.
1228
01:09:39,413 --> 01:09:41,829
We did the one guy, right?
But that was, like...
1229
01:09:41,933 --> 01:09:45,281
We just wanted him to stop. But I think
the other guy could've moved, really.
1230
01:09:45,385 --> 01:09:47,525
So, that was...
That one was on him.
1231
01:09:47,628 --> 01:09:50,493
Even if we weren't here,
that could've happened.
1232
01:09:50,597 --> 01:09:52,323
Why are you gonna stop
next to a cliff?
1233
01:09:52,426 --> 01:09:54,877
They were wearing helmets,
so maybe they're...
1234
01:09:54,980 --> 01:09:57,155
But the rest of their body
didn't have a helmet.
1235
01:09:57,259 --> 01:09:58,467
So there'd just be a head.
1236
01:09:58,570 --> 01:10:00,848
They were driving
recklessly, right?
1237
01:10:00,952 --> 01:10:02,678
Don't be mean on a bike.
1238
01:10:03,368 --> 01:10:05,128
Don't do mean stuff on a bike.
1239
01:10:08,925 --> 01:10:11,169
I mean, perhaps they're fine.
1240
01:10:11,273 --> 01:10:13,689
Yeah, probably not.
But that's okay.
1241
01:10:13,792 --> 01:10:18,072
That's all right. You know,
things happen. Let's go.
1242
01:10:20,282 --> 01:10:23,457
- You gonna put it back together?
- It's on loan.
1243
01:10:36,263 --> 01:10:38,576
Look at me.Okay.
1244
01:10:39,473 --> 01:10:41,510
What more can I do, you know?
1245
01:10:41,613 --> 01:10:43,546
You've done so much already,
Beth.
1246
01:10:43,650 --> 01:10:46,687
My poor, sweet, little Nana
has lost her sight.
1247
01:10:46,791 --> 01:10:49,518
The book release
is a complete disaster,
1248
01:10:49,621 --> 01:10:51,278
which I've leveraged
everything on,
1249
01:10:51,382 --> 01:10:53,729
so I'm probably, most
definitely broke right now.
1250
01:10:53,832 --> 01:10:57,077
And most importantly,
I've lost a writer.
1251
01:10:57,180 --> 01:10:58,734
Who does that?
Who loses a writer?
1252
01:10:58,837 --> 01:11:03,359
Okay, Beth, you remind me
of my best friend, Randy.
1253
01:11:03,463 --> 01:11:05,948
Always looking out
for other people,
1254
01:11:06,051 --> 01:11:08,399
never taking care of herself.
1255
01:11:09,400 --> 01:11:10,815
Isn't that right, Randy?
1256
01:11:13,335 --> 01:11:15,198
She's like my therapist,
this one over here.
1257
01:11:15,302 --> 01:11:17,408
LOL. "Laughing Out Loud."
1258
01:11:17,511 --> 01:11:19,479
After you take care
of your friend,
1259
01:11:20,376 --> 01:11:21,722
how about we go to a beach?
1260
01:11:21,826 --> 01:11:24,311
What? Look, I have a pickup
in Hawaii.
1261
01:11:24,415 --> 01:11:26,382
She doesn't have to come.
1262
01:11:26,486 --> 01:11:29,282
- Okay! Okay, you can come!
1263
01:11:29,385 --> 01:11:31,387
She's hilarious.
1264
01:11:32,181 --> 01:11:34,010
Let me ask you something.
1265
01:11:34,114 --> 01:11:36,299
We're all sitting here chitchatting,
but who's flying the plane?
1266
01:11:36,323 --> 01:11:38,256
Autopilot. What?
1267
01:11:38,360 --> 01:11:41,086
Sir, go to the cockpit,
fly the plane.
1268
01:11:41,535 --> 01:11:42,536
Okay.
1269
01:11:43,296 --> 01:11:45,056
I'm going to go land the plane.
1270
01:11:45,159 --> 01:11:46,609
Okay.
1271
01:11:46,713 --> 01:11:48,633
No, no, no. Take the goat.
Please, take the goat.
1272
01:11:48,715 --> 01:11:51,373
She's on break.
Enjoy the flight!
1273
01:12:26,787 --> 01:12:28,133
Hi.Hola.
1274
01:12:32,586 --> 01:12:35,278
This English dude came in
and basically kidnapped her.
1275
01:12:37,419 --> 01:12:40,732
Hey, it's Beth. Please leave a message,
and I'll get right back to you.
1276
01:12:40,836 --> 01:12:43,701
Uh, hi, Beth.
1277
01:12:43,804 --> 01:12:44,805
It's me.
1278
01:12:44,909 --> 01:12:46,738
Uh, I'm alive!
1279
01:12:47,463 --> 01:12:49,500
Uh, listen, um...
1280
01:12:50,811 --> 01:12:51,847
Uh...
1281
01:12:53,296 --> 01:12:57,404
I'm sorry that I
blew up the book tour.
1282
01:12:57,508 --> 01:12:59,233
Um...
1283
01:12:59,337 --> 01:13:01,719
I was just afraid
1284
01:13:02,858 --> 01:13:04,515
and selfish. Uh...
1285
01:13:04,618 --> 01:13:07,345
Oh, here comes Alan.
I'll call you back.
1286
01:13:10,521 --> 01:13:13,524
So, uh, police
are searching for Fairfax,
1287
01:13:13,627 --> 01:13:16,078
and they're gonna provide us
protection while we're here.
1288
01:13:16,181 --> 01:13:18,011
Did they say
how long we'd be here?
1289
01:13:18,114 --> 01:13:20,772
They're gonna try to get us on a
puddle jumper later this evening.
1290
01:13:20,876 --> 01:13:23,157
But, uh, they said in the
meantime, the inn is really nice,
1291
01:13:23,188 --> 01:13:25,777
and we can get cleaned up
and maybe a change of clothes.
1292
01:13:25,881 --> 01:13:27,296
Okay.
1293
01:13:30,748 --> 01:13:32,301
Okay. Yeah.
1294
01:14:25,078 --> 01:14:26,528
Thank you.
1295
01:14:27,114 --> 01:14:30,359
Come on.
1296
01:14:30,463 --> 01:14:31,705
Dance with your husband.
1297
01:14:31,809 --> 01:14:33,604
No, no, no. He's not my husband.
1298
01:14:33,707 --> 01:14:35,433
It's okay. Dance with him.
1299
01:14:35,537 --> 01:14:38,022
No, no. She doesn't want to. She
doesn't have the right shoes.
1300
01:14:38,125 --> 01:14:40,645
Actually, it's the only thing
these shoes are right for.
1301
01:14:40,749 --> 01:14:42,992
You don't have to do this.
1302
01:14:43,096 --> 01:14:44,856
It's okay. It's okay.
1303
01:14:45,754 --> 01:14:46,754
Yeah?
1304
01:16:05,350 --> 01:16:07,042
I wonder what she's saying.
1305
01:16:09,423 --> 01:16:10,908
It's folklore.
1306
01:16:12,323 --> 01:16:14,359
Love song about a woman
1307
01:16:14,463 --> 01:16:17,777
whose lover died, and she
didn't want to leave his side.
1308
01:16:18,812 --> 01:16:21,643
So she laid down
and refused to get up.
1309
01:16:22,229 --> 01:16:23,990
Must be scary.
1310
01:16:24,093 --> 01:16:27,994
Having to face your future without
the person that you planned it with.
1311
01:16:40,351 --> 01:16:41,904
What was that?
1312
01:16:44,044 --> 01:16:47,703
Excuse me. Excuse me. The, um...
the last line that you sang.
1313
01:16:47,807 --> 01:16:50,154
¿Quién llorará junto a mí?
1314
01:16:53,088 --> 01:16:55,918
"The island will weep for me
in the well of endless tears."
1315
01:16:56,022 --> 01:16:59,404
What is that, the well of endless tears?
Is that a real place, or...
1316
01:16:59,508 --> 01:17:01,130
Sinkhole place.
1317
01:17:02,925 --> 01:17:04,651
Thank you. Gracias, gracias.
1318
01:17:04,755 --> 01:17:06,826
Come here, come here. What is it?
1319
01:17:08,448 --> 01:17:10,277
Hey, on the parchment, it said,
1320
01:17:10,381 --> 01:17:14,454
"King Kalaman and his treasure laid
to rest in the well of endless tears."
1321
01:17:14,557 --> 01:17:16,663
I thought
maybe it was a metaphor.
1322
01:17:17,181 --> 01:17:18,734
It's not.
1323
01:17:18,838 --> 01:17:21,703
The Well of Endless Tears
is a place.
1324
01:17:21,806 --> 01:17:23,808
It's a sinkhole.
1325
01:17:23,912 --> 01:17:26,086
There's a sinkhole on the map.
1326
01:17:27,432 --> 01:17:29,193
I think the tomb is there.
1327
01:17:29,296 --> 01:17:31,678
This is so much better
than your books. What?
1328
01:17:31,782 --> 01:17:33,345
There's like...
No, I don't mean any offense.
1329
01:17:33,369 --> 01:17:35,268
I'm kidding. I'm kidding.
It's, like, equal.
1330
01:17:35,371 --> 01:17:37,660
I'm kidding. I'm kidding. Look at you.
You want to go there.
1331
01:17:37,684 --> 01:17:39,548
What? No.I can see. Yes, you do.
1332
01:17:39,652 --> 01:17:42,758
That would be insane. That would be insane.
I just... I just...
1333
01:17:42,862 --> 01:17:47,245
It's just that we're so close
to it, but, you know, we can't...
1334
01:17:47,349 --> 01:17:48,661
No.
1335
01:17:48,764 --> 01:17:51,456
This is your story.
How do you want to write it?
1336
01:17:52,250 --> 01:17:54,563
I'd like to know
that it's there,
1337
01:17:54,667 --> 01:17:56,323
that all this meant something.
1338
01:17:56,427 --> 01:17:58,291
Okay. Then let's go.
1339
01:17:58,394 --> 01:18:00,314
We'll stay one more day.
As soon as the sun's up,
1340
01:18:00,362 --> 01:18:02,162
we're gonna go find
the Well of Endless Tears.
1341
01:18:02,226 --> 01:18:05,091
But what if it's nothing? So what?
Then we say we tried.
1342
01:18:05,194 --> 01:18:06,437
And Fairfax?
1343
01:18:06,540 --> 01:18:08,957
The cops are after Fairfax.
Don't worry about him.
1344
01:18:10,061 --> 01:18:10,855
This is crazy.
1345
01:18:10,959 --> 01:18:12,650
Yeah, but look at you. What?
1346
01:18:12,754 --> 01:18:15,722
It's the very first time I've
ever seen you totally unafraid.
1347
01:18:16,343 --> 01:18:18,069
And alive.
1348
01:18:18,173 --> 01:18:20,693
I'm gonna go tell them our plans
have changed and find us a ride.
1349
01:18:20,796 --> 01:18:22,246
Where are you going?
1350
01:18:25,905 --> 01:18:27,976
I see you met my friend here.
1351
01:18:28,079 --> 01:18:32,463
He told me you were just
about to jump on a plane,
1352
01:18:32,566 --> 01:18:35,017
without so much as
saying goodbye.
1353
01:18:35,121 --> 01:18:38,538
I said, "No way.
Not my Loretta."
1354
01:18:38,641 --> 01:18:43,094
Not when she's the only one
who can lead me to the tomb."
1355
01:18:46,511 --> 01:18:48,582
Stop squeezing so hard.
1356
01:18:49,411 --> 01:18:52,207
Ow. Get your hands off of me!
1357
01:18:53,070 --> 01:18:54,934
Ow! Let go!
1358
01:18:55,417 --> 01:18:56,625
I-I need a car.
1359
01:18:56,729 --> 01:18:58,661
A car, an auto.
Does anybody have an auto?
1360
01:19:07,153 --> 01:19:08,223
No, no. No.
1361
01:19:08,948 --> 01:19:10,259
I-I-I need an auto.
1362
01:19:10,363 --> 01:19:11,709
I'll trade you my watch.
1363
01:19:11,813 --> 01:19:13,307
It's a really expensive watch.
Do you have a car?
1364
01:19:13,331 --> 01:19:14,930
It's a Bulgari.
This thing glows in the dark.
1365
01:19:14,954 --> 01:19:16,749
It's waterproof. I have motorcycle.
1366
01:19:30,348 --> 01:19:32,109
Cool, isn't it?
1367
01:19:32,212 --> 01:19:35,319
I always thought, why can't your
personal tank also have a minibar?
1368
01:19:35,422 --> 01:19:36,907
Have a drink.
1369
01:19:37,010 --> 01:19:38,563
Do you mind?
1370
01:19:38,667 --> 01:19:40,082
Uh, yes.
1371
01:19:40,186 --> 01:19:42,326
He has a bit of a grudge
against you, I'm afraid.
1372
01:19:42,429 --> 01:19:45,225
Something about a motorbike
accident his friends had?
1373
01:19:45,329 --> 01:19:46,502
Why are you doing this?
1374
01:19:46,606 --> 01:19:48,366
I want something
nobody else has.
1375
01:19:49,264 --> 01:19:51,093
When my father gifted...
1376
01:19:54,165 --> 01:19:55,684
As I was saying,
1377
01:19:55,788 --> 01:19:58,721
when my father gifted his empire
1378
01:19:58,825 --> 01:20:01,276
-to my baby brother...
1379
01:20:08,317 --> 01:20:09,836
Who is that?
1380
01:20:18,569 --> 01:20:20,778
Is that a Ken doll on a moped?
1381
01:20:21,572 --> 01:20:23,091
I know him from somewhere.
1382
01:20:23,194 --> 01:20:24,851
Oh, I-I-I doubt that.
1383
01:20:24,955 --> 01:20:27,164
Because what you are looking at
1384
01:20:27,267 --> 01:20:30,167
is a highly trained
combat specialist,
1385
01:20:30,270 --> 01:20:33,860
forged in the furnaces
of Afghanistan, Iraq,
1386
01:20:33,964 --> 01:20:36,552
Kuwait, Sa... Sarasota...
1387
01:20:36,656 --> 01:20:38,727
Incredible skin.
No eczema problems.
1388
01:20:38,831 --> 01:20:42,524
And he will not stop
until I am safe!
1389
01:20:42,627 --> 01:20:44,837
So you pull
this space tank over,
1390
01:20:44,940 --> 01:20:48,081
unless you would like to perish
like his friends did.
1391
01:20:48,185 --> 01:20:51,602
And he is responsible
for their perishment.
1392
01:20:51,705 --> 01:20:54,398
He might not have meant to,
1393
01:20:54,501 --> 01:20:57,780
but they... perished, so...
1394
01:21:12,726 --> 01:21:13,969
Okay, who-who is this?
1395
01:21:14,073 --> 01:21:15,971
I have seen him
somewhere before.
1396
01:21:18,456 --> 01:21:19,699
No, no, no.
1397
01:21:19,802 --> 01:21:21,528
That's your cover model,
isn't it?
1398
01:21:21,632 --> 01:21:23,910
Yes. I knew
I knew him from somewhere.
1399
01:21:24,807 --> 01:21:25,878
Get up there.
1400
01:21:25,981 --> 01:21:27,362
And kill him creatively.
1401
01:21:27,465 --> 01:21:29,571
I love watching hunks fail.
1402
01:21:31,918 --> 01:21:34,162
I guess I-I will
have that drink.
1403
01:21:35,853 --> 01:21:37,130
Oh, shit.
1404
01:21:37,234 --> 01:21:39,788
Is it okay
if I just top 'er off?
1405
01:21:39,892 --> 01:21:41,065
Yeah, that's fine, but...
1406
01:21:41,169 --> 01:21:43,136
Oh, my God,
have you used a glass before?
1407
01:21:43,240 --> 01:21:44,586
Sorry.
1408
01:21:44,689 --> 01:21:46,174
What would Jack Trainer do?
1409
01:21:48,383 --> 01:21:49,453
It's hot in here.
1410
01:21:49,556 --> 01:21:52,559
Anyone else feeling
how hot it is?
1411
01:21:52,663 --> 01:21:53,733
Are you trying to be sexy?
1412
01:21:53,836 --> 01:21:55,631
This is very weird.
Please, stop.
1413
01:21:55,735 --> 01:21:57,633
I could set your world on fire.
1414
01:22:08,230 --> 01:22:10,543
Go to sleep! Go to sleep!
1415
01:22:10,646 --> 01:22:12,372
Go to sleep! Sleep!
1416
01:22:14,788 --> 01:22:16,618
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
1417
01:22:16,721 --> 01:22:17,999
Time-out.
1418
01:22:18,102 --> 01:22:19,102
Time-in!
1419
01:22:24,867 --> 01:22:27,698
No! Don't shoot her!
I need her!
1420
01:22:29,355 --> 01:22:31,219
Oh, Jesus!
1421
01:22:31,322 --> 01:22:32,737
Ow, ow, ow.
1422
01:22:36,672 --> 01:22:39,089
Move your foot! Move your foot!
1423
01:22:42,161 --> 01:22:44,370
- Go to sleep, asshole.
1424
01:22:44,473 --> 01:22:46,130
Get out there! Look!
1425
01:22:50,721 --> 01:22:52,033
A bigger guy?
1426
01:22:52,136 --> 01:22:53,344
Oh, no.
1427
01:22:54,690 --> 01:22:55,933
What?
1428
01:22:58,418 --> 01:22:59,418
Move it!
1429
01:23:01,076 --> 01:23:03,389
No, no, no. No, no, no.
1430
01:23:04,286 --> 01:23:06,185
Hey! Get in.
1431
01:23:06,702 --> 01:23:07,807
Him or me?
1432
01:23:11,914 --> 01:23:16,712
This is not one of your cheap,
vapid lady-fantasy books, Loretta.
1433
01:23:16,816 --> 01:23:18,783
This is real life.
1434
01:23:19,715 --> 01:23:21,579
And we will kill him.
1435
01:23:21,683 --> 01:23:23,409
Tell us where the tomb is.
1436
01:23:38,079 --> 01:23:39,390
Hi.
So, whoever's in charge,
1437
01:23:39,494 --> 01:23:42,117
I need you to send
officials to go here.
1438
01:23:42,221 --> 01:23:43,325
Here.
1439
01:23:44,464 --> 01:23:46,294
We are closed.
1440
01:23:46,397 --> 01:23:47,743
You're closed?
1441
01:23:49,676 --> 01:23:52,783
You know I've been trying to
take a nap for a year and a half?
1442
01:23:52,886 --> 01:23:54,440
A year and a half.
1443
01:23:55,372 --> 01:23:58,478
I have been burning the candle
at both ends,
1444
01:23:58,582 --> 01:23:59,928
the midnight oil,
1445
01:24:00,032 --> 01:24:03,000
since way before
my friend got kidnapped.
1446
01:24:03,104 --> 01:24:04,967
And all I want to do
1447
01:24:05,520 --> 01:24:07,660
is kick my feet back
1448
01:24:07,763 --> 01:24:09,006
and drink some wine
1449
01:24:09,110 --> 01:24:11,491
that I'm probably
too tired to drink.
1450
01:24:11,595 --> 01:24:13,528
And I want a massage.
1451
01:24:13,631 --> 01:24:18,291
I want someone to massage
my shoulders and my feet,
1452
01:24:18,395 --> 01:24:20,431
and I want it at the same time.
1453
01:24:20,535 --> 01:24:24,228
And I don't care if logistically
that doesn't make sense.
1454
01:24:24,332 --> 01:24:26,989
Because I have worked hard.
1455
01:24:27,852 --> 01:24:30,303
The same way that
I know that you have.
1456
01:24:31,201 --> 01:24:33,410
So I hate to ask you
1457
01:24:33,513 --> 01:24:35,895
to leave this place open
a few more minutes,
1458
01:24:35,998 --> 01:24:37,931
because if we don't,
1459
01:24:38,035 --> 01:24:41,590
a very close friend of mine
and her cover model
1460
01:24:41,694 --> 01:24:43,454
are going to die.
1461
01:25:06,305 --> 01:25:07,858
No good way in, boss!
1462
01:25:07,961 --> 01:25:10,102
What about the caves?
1463
01:25:10,861 --> 01:25:12,207
That's too dangerous!
1464
01:25:12,311 --> 01:25:15,314
Well,
we'll be very careful then.
1465
01:25:28,879 --> 01:25:30,191
Well, come on!
1466
01:25:34,885 --> 01:25:36,714
This way. I have a rule about
1467
01:25:36,818 --> 01:25:38,337
not going into
super creepy caves.
1468
01:25:49,693 --> 01:25:52,627
Julian?
His name is Julian?
1469
01:25:52,730 --> 01:25:55,595
He seems more like
a Buck or a Bruce.
1470
01:25:55,699 --> 01:25:57,183
Lead the way.
1471
01:26:00,876 --> 01:26:03,258
Go on. Don't be scared.
1472
01:26:33,012 --> 01:26:34,807
Watch your step there.
1473
01:26:34,910 --> 01:26:36,084
Bruce!
1474
01:26:36,188 --> 01:26:37,189
Julian. Oh, no! Julian!
1475
01:26:37,292 --> 01:26:38,914
Whoa.
1476
01:26:39,018 --> 01:26:40,537
Whoa.
1477
01:26:41,193 --> 01:26:42,677
Well...
1478
01:26:43,505 --> 01:26:45,231
Let's not have
his death be in vain.
1479
01:26:45,335 --> 01:26:48,096
- Onward and upward.
- What do you mean onward?
1480
01:26:48,200 --> 01:26:50,650
We're not gonna go
and get him now, are we?
1481
01:26:50,754 --> 01:26:52,169
Oh, man.
1482
01:27:04,561 --> 01:27:06,218
Okay.
1483
01:27:06,321 --> 01:27:09,013
Yeah. Look, let's just
go back to the boat.
1484
01:27:09,117 --> 01:27:10,981
This is over.
Nobody else has to die.
1485
01:27:11,084 --> 01:27:13,259
No, no, no. Ha-ha!
It's a breeze.
1486
01:27:13,363 --> 01:27:15,813
There's a tunnel.
This could lead to the tomb.
1487
01:27:15,917 --> 01:27:17,797
That's not person-sized.
Ah, speak for yourself.
1488
01:27:17,884 --> 01:27:20,162
Come on. It's practically
a kiddie slide.
1489
01:27:20,266 --> 01:27:22,579
More like
a rock sphincter. Or a troll anus.
1490
01:27:22,682 --> 01:27:25,064
All right, well, you are
going through the anus...
1491
01:27:25,167 --> 01:27:26,479
The hole... the tunnel!
1492
01:27:26,583 --> 01:27:28,585
Why her? You are our canary
in the coal mine.
1493
01:27:28,688 --> 01:27:30,103
No, that's impossible.
I can't.
1494
01:27:30,207 --> 01:27:31,687
Please let us know
if you get through.
1495
01:27:31,760 --> 01:27:34,073
If we don't hear from you,
Fabio's got to die.
1496
01:27:34,176 --> 01:27:36,351
Wait,
I'm the damsel in distress?
1497
01:27:37,041 --> 01:27:38,284
It's okay. I'm fine.
1498
01:28:14,320 --> 01:28:16,771
I can't.
I'm so sorry. I can't.
1499
01:28:16,874 --> 01:28:18,600
- Hey.
- What?
1500
01:28:19,325 --> 01:28:21,293
Hey, you smell that?
1501
01:28:21,396 --> 01:28:24,330
You mean centuries worth of bat feces?
Yes, I definitely smell that.
1502
01:28:24,434 --> 01:28:26,643
You gotta take
a big breath for me.
1503
01:28:31,751 --> 01:28:33,132
There you go.
1504
01:28:33,235 --> 01:28:35,099
You can do it, Loretta.
1505
01:28:48,043 --> 01:28:50,805
I think I see a way out.
1506
01:28:54,360 --> 01:28:56,569
Oh, cheese and rice!
1507
01:29:01,263 --> 01:29:02,610
I made it!
1508
01:29:02,713 --> 01:29:04,197
I made it!
1509
01:29:04,301 --> 01:29:06,786
- See? Totally safe.
1510
01:29:07,787 --> 01:29:08,857
Go on. Your turn.
1511
01:29:10,549 --> 01:29:13,448
I'm coming through!
Be right there, okay?
1512
01:30:17,616 --> 01:30:19,756
Why would they build this here?
1513
01:30:20,860 --> 01:30:22,586
But how is anyone
supposed to worship
1514
01:30:22,690 --> 01:30:24,381
or remember you
if they can't even see it?
1515
01:30:24,485 --> 01:30:26,348
They aren't.
1516
01:30:26,452 --> 01:30:29,421
This isn't a monument
to Kalaman's power.
1517
01:30:30,525 --> 01:30:33,114
It's a hiding place
for a grieving woman.
1518
01:30:33,217 --> 01:30:36,669
Taha came here
to be with her fallen lover.
1519
01:30:38,326 --> 01:30:39,776
She just wanted to be alone.
1520
01:30:41,433 --> 01:30:42,951
Taha doesn't want us here.
1521
01:30:43,055 --> 01:30:44,401
God, shut up, Rafi.
1522
01:30:44,505 --> 01:30:46,368
It's just the volcano.
1523
01:30:48,025 --> 01:30:49,337
Come on.
1524
01:30:54,480 --> 01:30:56,137
We have to keep going.
1525
01:31:04,317 --> 01:31:05,974
All right.
Let's go, Muscles.
1526
01:31:06,768 --> 01:31:08,598
Open it up.
1527
01:31:08,701 --> 01:31:11,152
- Don't disturb them.
- She will be wearing the headdress.
1528
01:31:11,255 --> 01:31:13,844
Come on. We didn't come all this
way just to pay our respects.
1529
01:31:13,948 --> 01:31:15,605
I can't, um...
1530
01:31:18,366 --> 01:31:20,575
Uh... I'm sorry, abuela.
1531
01:31:41,803 --> 01:31:43,115
What is that?
1532
01:31:45,255 --> 01:31:47,671
Are those... seashells?
1533
01:31:48,430 --> 01:31:51,295
The crown is made of seashells?
1534
01:31:51,399 --> 01:31:52,952
Where's the treasure?
1535
01:31:53,953 --> 01:31:55,403
She's holding him.
1536
01:31:58,199 --> 01:31:59,959
You mean the dead guy?
1537
01:32:06,483 --> 01:32:07,691
Look.
1538
01:32:09,693 --> 01:32:11,419
It's their courtship.
1539
01:32:11,523 --> 01:32:15,423
Kalaman is searching the island
for something.
1540
01:32:18,253 --> 01:32:19,841
Rare red seashells.
1541
01:32:19,945 --> 01:32:24,950
To prove his love, he gave her
one shell every day for a year
1542
01:32:25,053 --> 01:32:26,607
and made them into a crown,
1543
01:32:26,710 --> 01:32:29,506
bright red like
the flame of their love,
1544
01:32:29,610 --> 01:32:32,992
until the day came
where she accepted his proposal.
1545
01:32:33,096 --> 01:32:34,856
It was never about jewels.
1546
01:32:34,960 --> 01:32:38,688
Kalaman and Taha's riches
weren't material.
1547
01:32:40,621 --> 01:32:42,554
It was their love.
1548
01:32:42,657 --> 01:32:45,004
That's what it meant.
That was enough.
1549
01:32:45,108 --> 01:32:46,316
So that's it?
1550
01:32:47,213 --> 01:32:50,113
All of that time and money
1551
01:32:50,941 --> 01:32:54,531
spent on, what,
just a cheap metaphor?
1552
01:32:54,635 --> 01:32:57,430
It's a pretty rich metaphor. Oh, shut up!
1553
01:32:57,534 --> 01:32:59,571
- We got to go. We got to go now.
1554
01:32:59,674 --> 01:33:02,850
- Come on. Let's go.
- No, no, no. You are staying here.
1555
01:33:02,953 --> 01:33:05,024
You think it's all
so sweet and poetic.
1556
01:33:05,128 --> 01:33:07,613
Well, then you can stay here
and spend your last moments
1557
01:33:07,717 --> 01:33:10,651
pondering the richness
of that metaphor.
1558
01:33:11,341 --> 01:33:13,619
- Get in.
- What? Come on, man.
1559
01:33:13,723 --> 01:33:16,173
- Oh, God. Just get in. Get in the tomb.
- Okay, okay.
1560
01:33:16,277 --> 01:33:18,900
It's better to be buried alive
than buried dead, I guess.
1561
01:33:19,004 --> 01:33:22,283
- It's really not.
- You know, it is a shame, really.
1562
01:33:22,386 --> 01:33:23,905
This is a hell of a story.
1563
01:33:24,009 --> 01:33:26,701
Pity you won't be around
to tell it. Come on.
1564
01:33:26,805 --> 01:33:28,392
- But they'll die.
- So will you
1565
01:33:28,496 --> 01:33:31,085
if you don't stop being such a snowflake!
Get over here!
1566
01:33:40,681 --> 01:33:42,683
This is fine.
This is not an active nightmare
1567
01:33:42,786 --> 01:33:44,443
I've had since
I was 14 years old.
1568
01:33:47,791 --> 01:33:51,519
Why are you going so fast?
It's not a race.
1569
01:33:56,524 --> 01:33:58,837
Wait, no! What are you doing?
Come back here!
1570
01:33:58,940 --> 01:34:03,635
You may have bought the island,
but now the island owns you!
1571
01:34:04,497 --> 01:34:05,982
You can't just leave me here!
1572
01:34:08,018 --> 01:34:10,400
Rafi! Come back!
1573
01:34:12,574 --> 01:34:13,990
I need a boat!
1574
01:34:23,413 --> 01:34:25,518
Hey, hey, stop! Stop!
1575
01:34:27,520 --> 01:34:29,384
Help! Help!
1576
01:34:29,488 --> 01:34:31,593
One of the locals
just stole my boat!
1577
01:34:31,697 --> 01:34:33,457
Have you seen a woman?
1578
01:34:33,561 --> 01:34:36,668
She's a brunette
in a sequined jumpsuit.
1579
01:34:36,771 --> 01:34:40,775
No. Is she in some sort
of trouble?
1580
01:34:52,442 --> 01:34:54,168
It's kind of funny.
1581
01:34:55,583 --> 01:34:57,378
I used to think this...
1582
01:34:57,481 --> 01:34:59,380
this sort of thing
was so romantic.
1583
01:34:59,483 --> 01:35:00,864
Yeah?
1584
01:35:00,968 --> 01:35:04,316
Being locked in a coffin
about to be buried by lava,
1585
01:35:04,419 --> 01:35:07,008
or... cuddling dead people?
1586
01:35:07,802 --> 01:35:10,874
Just laying down
with a lost love.
1587
01:35:10,978 --> 01:35:12,186
Like Taha did.
1588
01:35:14,740 --> 01:35:15,948
God.Oh...
1589
01:35:16,535 --> 01:35:17,916
Oh, God.
1590
01:35:18,019 --> 01:35:20,228
I'm sorry.
1591
01:35:20,332 --> 01:35:22,783
I'm sorry that
I couldn't save you.
1592
01:35:22,886 --> 01:35:24,854
I'm sorry I couldn't be Dash.
1593
01:35:25,440 --> 01:35:26,718
You're right.
1594
01:35:27,753 --> 01:35:29,306
You're nothing like Dash.
1595
01:35:29,410 --> 01:35:32,447
You didn't ride in on a
white horse to save me.
1596
01:35:32,551 --> 01:35:37,936
You rode in on a... borrowed
scooter with a broken muffler.
1597
01:35:39,316 --> 01:35:40,732
Yeah.
1598
01:35:40,835 --> 01:35:43,735
I never could've written
a Dash like you.
1599
01:35:45,633 --> 01:35:47,566
'Cause I never knew
1600
01:35:48,256 --> 01:35:50,051
a Dash like Alan.
1601
01:35:50,155 --> 01:35:52,605
I was so afraid
of being hurt by life again
1602
01:35:52,709 --> 01:35:54,090
that I just stopped living.
1603
01:35:54,193 --> 01:35:56,195
Couldn't see the good things
in front of me.
1604
01:35:56,299 --> 01:35:59,785
I'm just so sorry
I didn't see you sooner.
1605
01:36:00,752 --> 01:36:02,477
I have a confession too.
1606
01:36:02,581 --> 01:36:06,481
See, I was really liking where
this new story of ours was headed.
1607
01:36:06,585 --> 01:36:09,795
I just wanted to see how
it was gonna turn out, I guess.
1608
01:36:11,107 --> 01:36:13,661
The Adventures
of Loretta and Alan.
1609
01:36:15,767 --> 01:36:17,699
No, it would need
a better title than that.
1610
01:36:17,803 --> 01:36:19,771
Yeah, definitely.
Definitely.
1611
01:36:20,910 --> 01:36:24,706
Sorry. Just...
Taha's femur is poking me.
1612
01:36:28,400 --> 01:36:30,160
Rafi must have left that.
1613
01:36:30,264 --> 01:36:32,784
How do you forget your crowbar?
It's gonna help us escape.
1614
01:36:32,887 --> 01:36:34,509
No, he left it on purpose.
1615
01:36:34,613 --> 01:36:36,304
Oh, cool. I always liked him.
1616
01:36:36,408 --> 01:36:37,823
One... Okay.
1617
01:36:37,927 --> 01:36:39,756
Two, three! Okay.
1618
01:36:39,860 --> 01:36:43,795
I would've preferred him to not leave
us here in the first place, but...
1619
01:36:44,485 --> 01:36:45,485
Okay.
1620
01:37:06,369 --> 01:37:08,578
Dulcius ex asperis.
1621
01:37:12,927 --> 01:37:14,826
Sweeter after difficulty.
1622
01:37:21,453 --> 01:37:22,903
Go up!
Run for the trees!
1623
01:37:24,111 --> 01:37:27,010
Wait. Nope. Never mind.
Trees are on fire.
1624
01:37:27,459 --> 01:37:29,150
Okay.
1625
01:37:30,738 --> 01:37:32,602
We can go back
through the tunnel.
1626
01:37:33,568 --> 01:37:34,846
Nope. Tunnel's a no-go.
1627
01:37:39,954 --> 01:37:41,922
Um, okay.
I'm open to other ideas.
1628
01:37:42,025 --> 01:37:45,580
There's a current.
We can follow it into the ocean.
1629
01:37:45,684 --> 01:37:47,306
How do we know
what's on the other side?
1630
01:37:47,824 --> 01:37:48,894
We don't.
1631
01:37:50,723 --> 01:37:52,864
There's only one way
to find out.
1632
01:37:54,417 --> 01:37:56,074
Worth the rash. Yeah?
1633
01:38:17,060 --> 01:38:18,061
Alan?
1634
01:38:26,518 --> 01:38:27,760
Alan!
1635
01:39:05,212 --> 01:39:06,213
Alan?
1636
01:39:06,316 --> 01:39:09,009
A... Alan?
1637
01:39:10,217 --> 01:39:11,218
Alan!
1638
01:39:14,497 --> 01:39:16,223
Oh, my God! You're alive!
1639
01:39:16,326 --> 01:39:18,570
I'm alive. Oh, my God.
I thought I killed you.
1640
01:39:21,538 --> 01:39:22,538
Is that Beth?
1641
01:39:22,608 --> 01:39:23,851
Loretta!
1642
01:39:24,472 --> 01:39:25,646
Beth!
1643
01:39:25,749 --> 01:39:27,406
Beth!
1644
01:39:27,510 --> 01:39:28,752
Beth!
1645
01:39:34,413 --> 01:39:35,794
Beth, you're here!
1646
01:39:36,450 --> 01:39:37,658
Why are you here?
1647
01:39:37,761 --> 01:39:40,557
I told you I got your back,
girl!
1648
01:39:41,144 --> 01:39:42,939
I'm so sorry!
1649
01:39:43,043 --> 01:39:45,148
I destroyed the jumpsuit!
1650
01:39:45,597 --> 01:39:46,598
What?
1651
01:39:46,701 --> 01:39:49,221
Never mind! Later.
1652
01:39:49,325 --> 01:39:51,327
I found a British guy in a cave.
1653
01:39:51,430 --> 01:39:53,915
I thought he was a little boy,
but he has a full beard.
1654
01:39:54,019 --> 01:39:57,298
Beth, that's Fairfax!
He kidnapped us!
1655
01:39:57,402 --> 01:40:00,163
He's a bad guy, Beth!
He killed my trainer!
1656
01:40:00,267 --> 01:40:01,268
Get him!
1657
01:40:01,785 --> 01:40:02,959
Stop him!
1658
01:40:10,794 --> 01:40:13,004
I got your back, girl.
1659
01:40:15,144 --> 01:40:17,111
Where were you running?
It's a boat.
1660
01:40:17,215 --> 01:40:18,733
This guy's hilarious.
1661
01:40:18,837 --> 01:40:20,563
Got you.
1662
01:40:20,666 --> 01:40:21,943
Swim over to the rock!
1663
01:40:22,047 --> 01:40:24,118
I don't got you.
No, I got you. I got you.
1664
01:40:24,222 --> 01:40:26,120
We're gonna get you.
It's gonna be okay.
1665
01:40:26,224 --> 01:40:28,812
"Finding refuge
on a nearby rock,"
1666
01:40:28,916 --> 01:40:31,022
he lifted her from the water,
1667
01:40:31,125 --> 01:40:34,301
his powerful arms
pulling her body close.
1668
01:40:34,404 --> 01:40:35,543
"Alan whispered..."
1669
01:40:35,647 --> 01:40:38,201
Shh. You're safe now.
1670
01:40:40,617 --> 01:40:45,277
"In that moment, Loretta could feel
a new adventure was just beginning."
1671
01:40:46,554 --> 01:40:49,212
"The heart-pounding passion
of the narrow escape"
1672
01:40:49,316 --> 01:40:52,250
only inflamed Loretta's
desire for him.
1673
01:40:52,353 --> 01:40:56,564
"She was thirsty for the hot lava
soon to be pulsing from his..."
1674
01:40:56,668 --> 01:41:00,258
Don't you go stopping
right at the good part.
1675
01:41:01,604 --> 01:41:03,433
It's nothing she hasn't
read before.
1676
01:41:03,537 --> 01:41:04,917
Didn't I tell you?
1677
01:41:05,021 --> 01:41:08,024
The most beautiful beach
in the world.
1678
01:41:08,128 --> 01:41:11,441
Maybe later, I'll show you
the Cove of Enchantment?
1679
01:41:11,545 --> 01:41:13,133
No, you can take Randy.
1680
01:41:13,236 --> 01:41:16,895
Remember, you are
my platonic man friend.
1681
01:41:16,998 --> 01:41:20,036
Platonic?
I like the sound of that.
1682
01:41:20,140 --> 01:41:22,797
Not sure what it means,
but I like the sound of it.
1683
01:41:22,901 --> 01:41:25,110
Here you go, Randy.
1684
01:41:26,870 --> 01:41:29,183
My dear. You are an angel.
Thank you.
1685
01:41:29,839 --> 01:41:31,254
How did you know?
1686
01:41:43,163 --> 01:41:45,958
Nice way to end
a book tour, right? Mm-hmm.
1687
01:41:46,511 --> 01:41:48,340
Um...
1688
01:41:48,444 --> 01:41:52,689
You know, I have a phrase I like to
use in moments like these, actually.
1689
01:41:52,793 --> 01:41:54,035
Um...
1690
01:41:55,520 --> 01:41:56,935
Quid deinde?
1691
01:41:58,074 --> 01:42:01,250
It's Latin.
It means, uh, "What's next?"
1692
01:42:03,148 --> 01:42:04,667
Quid cogitas?
1693
01:42:04,770 --> 01:42:06,151
Mmm.
1694
01:42:06,876 --> 01:42:08,049
Buca di Beppo.
1695
01:42:11,467 --> 01:42:13,124
Yeah. I know
zero other Latin.No. Yes.
1696
01:42:13,227 --> 01:42:16,161
I looked it up
for this moment right now.
1697
01:42:16,989 --> 01:42:19,130
So, what does come next?
1698
01:42:19,233 --> 01:42:21,718
How would you write this? I don't know.
1699
01:42:21,822 --> 01:42:24,376
How would you write it? Do we
really want me to write this?
1700
01:42:24,480 --> 01:42:26,827
Just try. Take a stab at it.Okay.
I'll write it.
1701
01:42:26,930 --> 01:42:28,277
Okay.
1702
01:42:28,380 --> 01:42:31,383
"We were... They were, uh...
standing on a beach."
1703
01:42:31,487 --> 01:42:33,499
Sets the stage for the audience.
They know where we are.
1704
01:42:33,523 --> 01:42:35,398
You're already laughing.
Why are you laughing at me?
1705
01:42:35,422 --> 01:42:37,217
I'm not laughing.
I'm smiling. You are.
1706
01:42:37,320 --> 01:42:41,324
"There are palm trees
above a brown"
1707
01:42:42,187 --> 01:42:44,810
bark-like hair of the maiden.
1708
01:42:44,914 --> 01:42:46,778
"There is a dead jellyfish... "
1709
01:42:46,881 --> 01:42:49,412
All you're doing is describing what
you're actually seeing right now.
1710
01:42:49,436 --> 01:42:52,266
"He's nervous
because he really likes her."
1711
01:42:53,129 --> 01:42:55,166
It's nice writing.
1712
01:42:55,269 --> 01:42:56,581
Thanks. You're welcome.
1713
01:42:56,684 --> 01:42:57,789
I'll keep going.
1714
01:42:57,892 --> 01:42:59,480
"He looked deep in her eyes."
1715
01:42:59,584 --> 01:43:03,035
The only thing that could compare
to the pulse of that ocean
1716
01:43:03,829 --> 01:43:04,909
"was the throbbing in the... "
1717
01:43:05,003 --> 01:43:08,109
Okay, no, you can't throb. Why not?
1718
01:43:08,213 --> 01:43:09,939
Can't come out of the
gate with a throb.
1719
01:43:10,042 --> 01:43:12,402
You throb all the time. I don't come
out of the gate with it.
1720
01:43:12,459 --> 01:43:14,437
You have to earn the throb. Who made you
the queen of throb?
1721
01:43:14,461 --> 01:43:18,154
It's usually a chapter four thing. You
want it brought up appropriately in four.
1722
01:43:18,258 --> 01:43:20,363
I think you throb in all the chapters.
"Pulsating."
1723
01:43:20,467 --> 01:43:22,400
It's a precursor to throb.
1724
01:43:22,503 --> 01:43:24,609
"Undulating." You just jumped to five.
1725
01:43:24,712 --> 01:43:27,577
How 'bout they just kiss?
Why not? Just like a regular kiss?
1726
01:43:27,681 --> 01:43:29,545
Yeah. Like a
beginning-of-the-chapter kiss.
1727
01:43:29,648 --> 01:43:31,236
I'm good at starting...
1728
01:43:35,102 --> 01:43:36,586
How was that? Any notes?
1729
01:43:37,346 --> 01:43:40,728
Very good first chapter attempt.
1730
01:43:41,867 --> 01:43:43,697
♪ Bad chick
I could be your fantasy ♪
1731
01:43:43,800 --> 01:43:46,009
♪ I can tell
You got big, big energy ♪
1732
01:43:46,113 --> 01:43:48,322
♪ It ain't too many of 'em
That can handle me ♪
1733
01:43:48,426 --> 01:43:50,324
♪ But I might let you try it
Off the Hennessy ♪
1734
01:43:50,428 --> 01:43:52,706
♪ Make 'em sang to this thing
Like a melody ♪
1735
01:43:52,809 --> 01:43:55,087
♪ And if your girl ain't right
I got the remedy ♪
1736
01:43:55,191 --> 01:43:57,642
♪ It ain't too many of 'em
That can handle me ♪
1737
01:43:57,745 --> 01:44:00,300
♪ Bad chick
I could be your fantasy ♪
1738
01:44:00,403 --> 01:44:01,887
♪ Tell me how you want it ♪
1739
01:44:01,991 --> 01:44:03,855
♪ Three, two, one
And I'm on it ♪
1740
01:44:03,958 --> 01:44:05,902
♪ Feel good, don't it?
Hood chick, you in a bonnet ♪
1741
01:44:05,926 --> 01:44:07,893
♪ I'ma bust it on a pole
Like Onyx ♪
1742
01:44:07,997 --> 01:44:11,172
♪ I'm just being honest
Juicy, Minute Maid ♪
1743
01:44:11,276 --> 01:44:12,967
♪ But can't do it
One minute, man ♪
1744
01:44:13,071 --> 01:44:15,556
♪ Not a side or a main
I'm the only one he entertain ♪
1745
01:44:15,660 --> 01:44:17,731
♪ Spending his
Mine in the bank ♪
1746
01:44:17,834 --> 01:44:21,459
♪ I like what I see A boss
like you Need a boss like me ♪
1747
01:44:21,562 --> 01:44:23,530
♪ Daddy from the street
So he move low key ♪
1748
01:44:23,633 --> 01:44:25,911
♪ Tryna ride that mic
Like karaoke ♪
1749
01:44:26,015 --> 01:44:28,500
♪ On the count of three
Bad, get money ♪
1750
01:44:28,604 --> 01:44:30,675
♪ Broke to the left
We don't want it ♪
1751
01:44:30,778 --> 01:44:32,978
♪ I'm the one they love to hate
But they can't get past ♪
1752
01:44:33,056 --> 01:44:36,197
♪ Pretty face, no waist
And a big old back ♪
1753
01:44:36,301 --> 01:44:38,234
♪ Bad chick
I could be your fantasy ♪
1754
01:44:38,338 --> 01:44:40,478
♪ I can tell you got
Big, big energy ♪
1755
01:44:40,581 --> 01:44:42,687
♪ It ain't too many of 'em
That can handle me ♪
1756
01:44:42,790 --> 01:44:44,758
♪ But I might let you try it
Off the Hennessy ♪
1757
01:44:44,861 --> 01:44:47,036
♪ Make 'em sing to this thing
Like a melody ♪
1758
01:44:47,139 --> 01:44:49,487
♪ And if your girl ain't right
I got the remedy ♪
1759
01:44:49,590 --> 01:44:51,730
♪ It ain't too many of 'em
That can handle me ♪
1760
01:44:51,834 --> 01:44:54,250
♪ Bad chick
I could be your fantasy ♪
1761
01:44:54,354 --> 01:44:58,185
♪ Got that real big energy... ♪
1762
01:45:05,986 --> 01:45:07,470
Psst!
1763
01:45:08,126 --> 01:45:09,610
Psst.
1764
01:45:10,577 --> 01:45:11,578
Psst.
1765
01:45:13,649 --> 01:45:14,649
Mother...
1766
01:45:14,719 --> 01:45:16,445
You were dead.
1767
01:45:16,548 --> 01:45:19,413
Your brains came out of your face
and hit the back of my throat.
1768
01:45:19,517 --> 01:45:22,071
- He was in my mouth.
- Don't say he was in your mouth.
1769
01:45:22,174 --> 01:45:23,854
- I could taste you.
- Don't ever say that.
1770
01:45:23,900 --> 01:45:29,078
We only use 10% of our brain, so
I just switched to another 10%.
1771
01:45:29,181 --> 01:45:32,012
So, you're okay?
1772
01:45:32,115 --> 01:45:33,807
One hundred percent.
1773
01:45:33,910 --> 01:45:35,395
Meaning 10%.
1774
01:45:35,498 --> 01:45:37,258
We thought you were dead.
1775
01:45:37,362 --> 01:45:40,089
Naturally, I have some anger
issues I need to let go of.
1776
01:45:40,192 --> 01:45:42,540
Of course. And resentment.
1777
01:45:44,438 --> 01:45:45,784
So good to see you, man.
1778
01:45:45,888 --> 01:45:47,959
Okay,
let's keep the chatter down.
1779
01:45:48,062 --> 01:45:52,446
We're closing our eyes
and reconnecting to our breath.
1780
01:45:53,516 --> 01:45:54,621
Great.
1781
01:45:55,449 --> 01:45:56,450
Great.
135287
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