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1
00:00:31,567 --> 00:00:34,700
Announcer:
PREVIOUSLY IN TEEN HORROR FILMS...
2
00:00:34,733 --> 00:00:36,667
[TELEPHONE SPEED DIALS]
3
00:00:36,700 --> 00:00:38,400
Telephone: HELLO,
AND WELCOME TO MOVIEFONE.
4
00:00:38,433 --> 00:00:40,533
IF YOU KNOW THE NAME OF
THE MOVIE YOU'D LIKE TO SEE,
5
00:00:40,567 --> 00:00:41,700
PRESS ONE.
6
00:00:41,733 --> 00:00:43,700
TO CHOOSE FROM A LIST
OF CURRENT, OVER-PRICED
7
00:00:43,733 --> 00:00:45,300
BLOOD-SPLATTERED
BLOCKBUSTERS,
8
00:00:45,333 --> 00:00:46,533
PRESS 2.
9
00:00:46,567 --> 00:00:48,500
FOR CHICK FLICKS
WITH A GAY BEST FRIEND,
10
00:00:48,533 --> 00:00:49,867
PRESS 3.
11
00:00:49,900 --> 00:00:51,200
FOR BIG STUDIO BOMBS...
12
00:00:51,233 --> 00:00:52,200
[TELEPHONE BEEPS]
13
00:00:52,233 --> 00:00:53,400
PRESS 4.
14
00:00:53,433 --> 00:00:54,867
FOR POLITICALLY CORRECT
BUDDY MOVIES,
15
00:00:54,900 --> 00:00:56,000
PRESS 5.
16
00:00:57,900 --> 00:00:58,967
DAD?
17
00:00:59,000 --> 00:01:00,900
[DISTORTED VOICE]
HELLO, SYDNEY.
18
00:01:00,933 --> 00:01:03,367
THIS ISN'T CINDY.
19
00:01:03,400 --> 00:01:04,867
I THINK YOU HAVE
THE WRONG NUMBER.
20
00:01:04,900 --> 00:01:07,200
UH, WAIT A MINUTE.
WHAT NUMBER DID I DIAL?
21
00:01:07,233 --> 00:01:08,200
WHO IS THIS?
22
00:01:08,233 --> 00:01:09,867
[SHOES SQUEAK]
23
00:01:09,900 --> 00:01:11,167
THE KILLER.
24
00:01:11,200 --> 00:01:12,700
[TELEPHONE BEEPS]
25
00:01:12,733 --> 00:01:14,500
IS THAT YOURS OR MINE?
26
00:01:14,533 --> 00:01:16,567
IGNORE IT.
I HAVE VOICE MAIL.
27
00:01:16,600 --> 00:01:18,700
DO YOU LIKE MOVIES?
28
00:01:18,733 --> 00:01:20,667
YEAH, SURE.
29
00:01:20,700 --> 00:01:22,200
I RENTED SOME TONIGHT.
30
00:01:22,233 --> 00:01:24,200
WHAT KIND OF MOVIES?
31
00:01:24,233 --> 00:01:25,867
OH, THE USUAL:
VASELINE ALLEY;
32
00:01:25,900 --> 00:01:27,033
TWO GUYS, A GIRL,
AND A HORSE;
33
00:01:27,067 --> 00:01:28,200
A BIG BLACK...
34
00:01:28,233 --> 00:01:29,367
I GET IT! I GET IT!
35
00:01:29,400 --> 00:01:32,900
ANYWAY, DO YOU LIKE
SCARY MOVIES?
36
00:01:32,933 --> 00:01:34,533
OH, YOU MEAN LIKE
SPIKE LEE MOVIES?
37
00:01:34,567 --> 00:01:37,533
LOOK. LAY OFF THE SPIKESTER.
HE'S KEEPIN' IT REAL.
38
00:01:37,567 --> 00:01:39,867
LET'S PLAY A GAME.
DO YOU LIKE GAMES?
39
00:01:39,900 --> 00:01:40,867
I GUESS.
40
00:01:40,900 --> 00:01:42,033
ALL RIGHT.
41
00:01:42,067 --> 00:01:43,867
A TRAIN LEAVES CHICAGO
DOING 60 MILES AN HOUR...
42
00:01:43,900 --> 00:01:45,867
MATH? HOW AM I
SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT?
43
00:01:45,900 --> 00:01:47,700
I'M A BEAUTIFUL,
POPULAR RICH KID
44
00:01:47,733 --> 00:01:49,533
WITH A PROMISING FUTURE
IN A LIGHTWEIGHT SORORITY
45
00:01:49,567 --> 00:01:50,533
AT A STATE COLLEGE.
46
00:01:50,567 --> 00:01:51,700
I DON'T NEED
TO KNOW THAT STUFF.
47
00:01:51,733 --> 00:01:52,700
I'M GONNA GET MARRIED.
48
00:01:52,733 --> 00:01:54,200
SHUT UP!
SHUT UP, YOU NITWIT.
49
00:01:54,233 --> 00:01:56,033
DO YOU THINK THIS
STALKING THING IS EASY?
50
00:01:56,067 --> 00:01:57,033
WHOA!
51
00:01:57,067 --> 00:01:58,033
[SPLASH]
52
00:01:58,067 --> 00:01:59,933
ARE YOU IN MY POOL?
53
00:02:09,567 --> 00:02:12,167
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
54
00:02:13,233 --> 00:02:14,700
[RING]
55
00:02:14,733 --> 00:02:15,700
HELLO?
56
00:02:15,733 --> 00:02:17,000
Operator:
COLLECT CALL FROM...
57
00:02:17,033 --> 00:02:18,367
Killer: THE KILLER.
58
00:02:18,400 --> 00:02:20,200
WILL YOU
ACCEPT THE CHARGES?
59
00:02:20,233 --> 00:02:22,300
WHATEVER.
GO AHEAD.
60
00:02:22,333 --> 00:02:24,533
THANKS.
NOW, WHERE WERE WE?
61
00:02:24,567 --> 00:02:25,867
NOW, LOOK, GEEK.
62
00:02:25,900 --> 00:02:27,033
NO. YOU LOOK.
63
00:02:27,067 --> 00:02:28,867
IF YOU DON'T GET
THIS NEXT QUESTION RIGHT,
64
00:02:28,900 --> 00:02:30,200
YOU'RE DEAD MEAT.
65
00:02:30,233 --> 00:02:32,200
WHO'S BURIED
IN GRANT'S TOMB?
66
00:02:32,233 --> 00:02:35,033
UH, HUGH GRANT.
67
00:02:35,067 --> 00:02:37,033
I'M AFRAID NOT, GENIUS.
68
00:02:37,067 --> 00:02:38,033
[BUZZER SOUNDS]
69
00:02:38,067 --> 00:02:39,367
OH! IT WAS AMY GRANT,
WASN'T IT?
70
00:02:39,400 --> 00:02:40,500
I WAS GONNA SAY THAT.
71
00:02:40,533 --> 00:02:41,667
IT DOESN'T MATTER.
72
00:02:41,700 --> 00:02:43,733
YOU DIDN'T ANSWER
IN THE FORM OF A QUESTION.
73
00:02:43,767 --> 00:02:45,567
[BLADE UNSHEATHES]
74
00:02:45,600 --> 00:02:47,300
HEY, YOU'RE NOT
MARILYN MELONS.
75
00:02:47,333 --> 00:02:48,867
WHOA!
76
00:02:48,900 --> 00:02:49,833
OOF!
77
00:02:55,233 --> 00:02:57,833
[SHOES SQUEAKING]
78
00:03:13,900 --> 00:03:16,167
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
79
00:03:17,400 --> 00:03:18,867
HELLO?
80
00:03:18,900 --> 00:03:20,200
YEAH,
HOLD ON A MINUTE.
81
00:03:20,233 --> 00:03:21,533
IT'S STACY.
82
00:03:21,567 --> 00:03:24,900
HI. DO YOU MIND?
83
00:03:24,933 --> 00:03:27,133
[SHOES SQUEAK]
84
00:03:27,167 --> 00:03:28,700
NOTHING.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
85
00:03:28,733 --> 00:03:34,033
OH, MY GOD.
WHAT DID SHE SAY?
86
00:03:34,067 --> 00:03:36,267
SHE IS SUCH A BITCH.
87
00:03:37,767 --> 00:03:41,100
LOOK. I GOT TO GO.
I'LL CALL YOU BACK.
88
00:04:05,533 --> 00:04:08,867
OOH! OH!
DAMN THAT NOSE.
89
00:04:08,900 --> 00:04:12,267
I'M MELTING!
90
00:04:16,667 --> 00:04:19,833
♪ DON'T YOU KNOW
IT'S A SCREAM? ♪
91
00:04:22,400 --> 00:04:25,367
♪ LITTLE BROWN EYES,
SHE'S THE FIRST TO GO ♪
92
00:04:25,400 --> 00:04:27,167
♪ IT'S A SCENE ♪
93
00:04:29,067 --> 00:04:30,700
♪ THE DEVIL IS HUNGRY ♪
94
00:04:30,733 --> 00:04:32,033
♪ HE'S THE STAR OF THE SHOW ♪
95
00:04:32,067 --> 00:04:34,033
♪ HE'S A FIEND ♪
96
00:04:34,067 --> 00:04:35,700
[MOANING]
97
00:04:35,733 --> 00:04:39,000
♪ JUST A NIGHTMARE
IN A GHOST MASK ♪
98
00:04:39,033 --> 00:04:41,000
♪ MYSTERY ♪
99
00:04:42,400 --> 00:04:45,367
♪ THE ANSWER, MY FRIEND ♪
100
00:04:45,400 --> 00:04:49,000
♪ IS BLOWING IN THE WIND ♪
101
00:04:51,167 --> 00:04:52,667
YO, WHAT'S UP?
102
00:04:52,700 --> 00:04:53,833
UGH!
103
00:04:58,967 --> 00:05:01,233
WATCH YOUR BACK.
COMING THROUGH.
104
00:05:01,267 --> 00:05:04,200
PARTY BEER.
WHAT'S UP?
105
00:05:04,233 --> 00:05:08,000
[POLICE RADIO SQUAWKS]
106
00:05:14,500 --> 00:05:15,700
P.A.: GOOD MORNING,
STUDENTS.
107
00:05:15,733 --> 00:05:18,167
CHEERLEADER TRYOUTS
WILL BE HELD AFTER SCHOOL
108
00:05:18,200 --> 00:05:22,033
TODAY IN THE GYM.
YOU MUST BE 18
109
00:05:22,067 --> 00:05:25,033
AND COMFORTABLE
WITH PARTIAL NUDITY.
110
00:05:25,067 --> 00:05:28,167
♪ DON'T YOU KNOW
IT'S A SCREAM? ♪
111
00:05:29,900 --> 00:05:33,233
♪ LITTLE BROWN EYES,
SHE'S THE FIRST TO GO ♪
112
00:05:33,267 --> 00:05:35,167
♪ IT'S A SCENE ♪
113
00:05:39,733 --> 00:05:43,200
♪ IT'S A SCREAM ♪
114
00:05:43,233 --> 00:05:44,200
Boy: DID NOT!
115
00:05:44,233 --> 00:05:45,200
Girl: DID, TOO.
116
00:05:45,233 --> 00:05:46,200
DID NOT!
DID, TOO.
117
00:05:46,233 --> 00:05:47,367
DID NOT!
DID, TOO!
118
00:05:47,400 --> 00:05:48,500
MOM!
119
00:05:56,233 --> 00:05:58,667
UH, WHOOPS.
120
00:05:58,700 --> 00:06:00,867
ALL RIGHT, DAWSON.
IF YOU JUST SIGN HERE,
121
00:06:00,900 --> 00:06:02,700
YOU'LL BE
OFFICIALLY REGISTERED
122
00:06:02,733 --> 00:06:04,267
AT BULIMIA FALLS
HIGH SCHOOL.
123
00:06:16,033 --> 00:06:18,400
HEY, HEY, HEY,
NEW KID.
124
00:06:20,500 --> 00:06:22,367
SLAB, IS THAT THE WAY
WE INTRODUCE OURSELVES
125
00:06:22,400 --> 00:06:23,367
TO THE NEW KID?
126
00:06:23,400 --> 00:06:25,200
SORRY, MISS PEACOCK.
127
00:06:25,233 --> 00:06:26,200
[GASPS]
128
00:06:26,233 --> 00:06:28,333
HA HA!
2 FOR FLINCHIN', NEW KID.
129
00:06:28,367 --> 00:06:29,667
OH! UNH!
130
00:06:29,700 --> 00:06:33,033
[GROANS]
131
00:06:33,067 --> 00:06:35,300
HI. I'M DAWSON.
132
00:06:35,333 --> 00:06:36,433
THAT'S BETTER.
133
00:06:38,900 --> 00:06:41,300
Principal: WE HAVE RULES
AT THIS SCHOOL, MISTER.
134
00:06:41,333 --> 00:06:43,500
NO MEANS NO.
135
00:06:45,233 --> 00:06:47,900
I'M NEVER
GONNA GET LAID.
136
00:06:49,067 --> 00:06:51,067
OH, DAWSON, I'D LIKE
TO INTRODUCE YOU
137
00:06:51,100 --> 00:06:52,267
TO PRINCIPAL INTEREST.
138
00:06:55,733 --> 00:06:56,700
AHEM.
139
00:06:56,733 --> 00:06:57,867
OH, I'M SORRY.
140
00:06:57,900 --> 00:07:00,500
"THE ADMINISTRATOR FORMERLY
KNOWN AS PRINCIPAL."
141
00:07:00,533 --> 00:07:02,233
[RASPBERRY BERET PLAYS]
142
00:07:06,233 --> 00:07:08,033
[SIZZLE, BANG]
143
00:07:08,067 --> 00:07:09,133
WANNABE.
144
00:07:09,167 --> 00:07:11,033
HEY, NEW KID.
145
00:07:11,067 --> 00:07:13,700
WHOA. OH, GOD!
146
00:07:13,733 --> 00:07:17,533
LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S GONNA
HAVE TO SHOW YOU THE ROPES.
147
00:07:18,733 --> 00:07:20,133
BONER!
148
00:07:20,167 --> 00:07:23,133
IT'S PRONOUNCED
"BONNER," SIR.
149
00:07:23,167 --> 00:07:24,700
THE "O" IS SOFT.
150
00:07:24,733 --> 00:07:27,033
NOT ACCORDING
TO RESUSCI-ANNIE.
151
00:07:27,067 --> 00:07:29,167
JUST SHOW HIM AROUND.
152
00:07:29,200 --> 00:07:32,867
AND FOR GOD'S SAKES,
WASH YOUR HANDS FIRST.
153
00:07:32,900 --> 00:07:34,700
MARY, YOU'RE NEXT.
154
00:07:38,233 --> 00:07:40,500
HI. I'M BONNER.
155
00:07:40,533 --> 00:07:41,700
IT'S NICE TO MEET YA.
156
00:07:41,733 --> 00:07:43,567
UH-HUH.
157
00:07:44,900 --> 00:07:47,533
OH, YEAH. "WITCH?"
TRY "RHYMES WITH..."
158
00:07:47,567 --> 00:07:50,367
CHARMED MY ASS.
CALL ME!
159
00:07:50,400 --> 00:07:52,200
DAMN SHANNEN DOHERTY.
160
00:07:52,233 --> 00:07:55,533
HEY, NEW KID.
I'M BARBARA.
161
00:07:55,567 --> 00:07:57,133
HOW'D YOU LIKE
A HERTZ DONUT?
162
00:07:57,167 --> 00:07:58,833
I'D LOVE ONE.
THANKS.
163
00:07:58,867 --> 00:08:00,867
OW!
164
00:08:00,900 --> 00:08:01,867
HURTS, DON'T IT?
165
00:08:01,900 --> 00:08:02,867
HA HA!
166
00:08:02,900 --> 00:08:04,200
HEY, GUYS.
167
00:08:04,233 --> 00:08:05,200
HEY, MARTINA.
168
00:08:05,233 --> 00:08:06,367
HEY, MRS. PEACOCK.
169
00:08:07,567 --> 00:08:09,533
HEY, NEW KID.
170
00:08:09,567 --> 00:08:12,033
[MOANS]
171
00:08:12,067 --> 00:08:14,000
[SEXY MUSIC PLAYS]
172
00:08:37,233 --> 00:08:39,067
[THINKING]
WAIT A MINUTE.
173
00:08:39,100 --> 00:08:40,900
IS SHE...
174
00:08:40,933 --> 00:08:42,033
[BELL RINGS]
175
00:08:42,067 --> 00:08:44,033
SO, DID YOU GUYS
HEAR THE NEWS?
176
00:08:44,067 --> 00:08:45,200
WRESTLING IS FAKE?
177
00:08:45,233 --> 00:08:46,367
I'M NOT PREGNANT?
178
00:08:46,400 --> 00:08:48,700
HE WHO SMELT IT
DEALT IT?
179
00:08:50,067 --> 00:08:52,033
NO. ABOUT SCREW.
180
00:08:52,067 --> 00:08:53,300
SLUT.
WHORE.
181
00:08:53,333 --> 00:08:54,667
DO YOU HAVE
HER NUMBER?
182
00:08:54,700 --> 00:08:55,667
WHO?
183
00:08:55,700 --> 00:08:57,533
SCREW FROMBEHIND.
SHE WAS KILLED,
184
00:08:57,567 --> 00:09:00,367
MURDERED, GUTTED,
FLAYED, SLICED,
185
00:09:00,400 --> 00:09:02,367
DICED, FRIED,
AND HUNG.
186
00:09:02,400 --> 00:09:03,367
JESUS.
187
00:09:03,400 --> 00:09:04,367
MM-HMM.
188
00:09:04,400 --> 00:09:06,200
I'M NEVER
GONNA GET LAID.
189
00:09:06,233 --> 00:09:07,333
OH, YEAH.
190
00:09:07,367 --> 00:09:09,000
AND IT'S ALL OVER
THE TV AND NEWS.
191
00:09:09,033 --> 00:09:13,100
OH, GREAT.
NOW EVERYBODY KNOWS.
192
00:09:14,700 --> 00:09:16,133
DO THEY KNOW
WHO DID IT?
193
00:09:16,167 --> 00:09:17,567
SOME GUY
IN A GHOST MASK.
194
00:09:17,600 --> 00:09:18,700
THAT DOESN'T
SOUND SCARY.
195
00:09:18,733 --> 00:09:19,700
STORE-BOUGHT?
196
00:09:19,733 --> 00:09:21,067
EWW.
EWW.
197
00:09:25,233 --> 00:09:27,067
OH. OOH.
198
00:09:27,100 --> 00:09:28,900
P.A.: ATTENTION, STUDENTS.
199
00:09:28,933 --> 00:09:31,533
THE FIGHT BETWEEN
THE BLOODS AND THE CRIPS
200
00:09:31,567 --> 00:09:34,200
IS POSTPONED
UNTIL NEXT FRIDAY.
201
00:09:34,233 --> 00:09:37,833
REFRESHMENTS AND
A LOVELY DANCE WILL FOLLOW.
202
00:09:37,867 --> 00:09:40,867
WELL, AT LEAST
I FEEL SAFE HERE.
203
00:09:40,900 --> 00:09:42,233
HI, CHUCKY.
204
00:09:42,267 --> 00:09:44,333
WANNA PLAY?
205
00:09:44,367 --> 00:09:45,533
WE'LL DEFINITELY
BE OK AT SCHOOL.
206
00:09:45,567 --> 00:09:47,400
YEAH. NOTHING CAN
HAPPEN TO US HERE.
207
00:09:47,433 --> 00:09:48,767
[BOMB BEEPS]
208
00:09:53,600 --> 00:09:56,200
[MACHINE GUN FIRE]
209
00:09:59,667 --> 00:10:01,800
THIS IS THE KIND OF
THING YOU READ ABOUT.
210
00:10:01,833 --> 00:10:02,967
BOOKS ARE PRETTY.
211
00:10:03,000 --> 00:10:04,467
OH, MY GOD.
HE'S RIGHT.
212
00:10:04,500 --> 00:10:05,800
WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL?
213
00:10:05,833 --> 00:10:07,000
KIDS GET KILLED
EVERY DAY.
214
00:10:07,033 --> 00:10:08,333
THIS IS HIGH SCHOOL.
215
00:10:10,000 --> 00:10:11,967
Slab: NO, DAWSON.
THIS KID WAS WHITE.
216
00:10:12,000 --> 00:10:12,967
SO?
217
00:10:13,000 --> 00:10:15,967
AND SHE WAS POPULAR,
LIKE ME.
218
00:10:16,000 --> 00:10:18,233
OH.
219
00:10:21,500 --> 00:10:23,367
I HOPE THAT'S
BARBARA WALTERS.
220
00:10:23,400 --> 00:10:25,067
WHAT A RACK.
221
00:10:25,100 --> 00:10:28,133
HI. I'M HAGITHA UTSLAY
FROM EMPTY-V NEWS.
222
00:10:28,167 --> 00:10:30,633
KIDS, WHAT DO YOU
THINK ABOUT...
223
00:10:30,667 --> 00:10:33,467
Hagitha: WAIT.
IS THAT DAWSON?
224
00:10:33,500 --> 00:10:35,067
TAPE THIS.
225
00:10:35,100 --> 00:10:37,567
CHOP-CHOP,
YOU FAT RAT BASTARD!
226
00:10:39,233 --> 00:10:41,800
HI. I'M HAGITHA UTSLAY LIVE
FROM BULIMIA FALLS HIGH,
227
00:10:41,833 --> 00:10:42,800
WHERE WE'RE SURROUNDED HERE
228
00:10:42,833 --> 00:10:44,133
BY A GROUP
OF INNOCENT STUDENTS,
229
00:10:44,167 --> 00:10:46,133
MOST IMPORTANTLY,
DAWSON DEERY...
230
00:10:46,167 --> 00:10:47,400
STUDENT, DRUM MAJOR,
231
00:10:47,433 --> 00:10:49,300
AND INSPIRATION FOR
MY BEST-SELLING BOOK:
232
00:10:49,333 --> 00:10:51,300
DAWSON IS A MURDERER.
233
00:10:51,333 --> 00:10:52,367
THAT BOOK SUCKED.
234
00:10:52,400 --> 00:10:54,033
NOT ACCORDING TO OPRAH.
235
00:10:54,067 --> 00:10:55,467
IT WAS HER
PICK OF THE MONTH.
236
00:10:55,500 --> 00:10:57,133
SO WAS CHICKEN SOUP
FOR THE BUTT.
237
00:10:57,167 --> 00:10:59,133
DOESN'T MEAN
I KILLED ANYONE.
238
00:10:59,167 --> 00:11:00,500
NOW STAY AWAY FROM ME.
239
00:11:00,533 --> 00:11:01,533
OH, COME ON, DAWSON.
240
00:11:01,567 --> 00:11:03,133
ISN'T IT TRUE THAT
YOUR WHOLE ENTIRE FAMILY
241
00:11:03,167 --> 00:11:04,967
WAS MURDERED UNDER
MYSTERIOUS CIRCUMSTANCES
242
00:11:05,000 --> 00:11:07,733
WHILE YOU WERE
SUPPOSEDLY AT... "CAMP"?
243
00:11:09,733 --> 00:11:10,967
HUH?
244
00:11:11,000 --> 00:11:12,033
HUH.
245
00:11:12,067 --> 00:11:13,233
HUH?
246
00:11:13,267 --> 00:11:14,867
UGH.
247
00:11:14,900 --> 00:11:15,867
[BELL RINGS]
248
00:11:15,900 --> 00:11:17,633
All: OOH!
249
00:11:17,667 --> 00:11:19,300
BITCH WENT DOWN!
250
00:11:19,333 --> 00:11:20,533
JUST LIKE HOME.
251
00:11:20,567 --> 00:11:21,867
Boner: DAMN!
252
00:11:21,900 --> 00:11:25,033
YEAH. THAT, AND THEY DIDN'T
HAVE A BOXING TEAM.
253
00:11:25,067 --> 00:11:27,167
GUYS, THAT IS NO WAY
TO TREAT A LADY.
254
00:11:27,200 --> 00:11:29,367
UNLESS SHE BURNS
THE TOAST.
255
00:11:29,400 --> 00:11:30,800
THAT'S NO LADY.
256
00:11:30,833 --> 00:11:32,800
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE,
ANYWAY, DOUGHY?
257
00:11:32,833 --> 00:11:33,967
YOU'RE NOT A REAL COP.
258
00:11:34,000 --> 00:11:35,533
SHOULDN'T YOU BE GUARDING
THE ORANGE JULIUS?
259
00:11:35,567 --> 00:11:36,900
N.Y.P.D. GAP.
260
00:11:36,933 --> 00:11:38,000
SERGEANT SEARS.
261
00:11:38,033 --> 00:11:39,533
FOOD COURT POLICE.
262
00:11:39,567 --> 00:11:41,733
HOW MANY TIMES
HAVE I TOLD YOU GUYS
263
00:11:41,767 --> 00:11:43,467
MALL SECURITY
IS JUST AS IMPORTANT
264
00:11:43,500 --> 00:11:44,400
AS THE REAL POLICE?
265
00:11:45,500 --> 00:11:46,967
IT IS!
266
00:11:47,000 --> 00:11:48,800
LOITERING AND STEALING
PENNIES FROM THE FOUNTAIN
267
00:11:48,833 --> 00:11:49,867
ARE SERIOUS CRIMES
THAT CARRY...
268
00:11:49,900 --> 00:11:51,467
MOM SAYS YOU'RE
A LOSER ANYWAY.
269
00:11:51,500 --> 00:11:53,133
WELL, MOM SAYS
YOU GOT A FAT ASS.
270
00:11:53,167 --> 00:11:54,800
DAD LEFT BECAUSE
HE HATED YOU.
271
00:11:54,833 --> 00:11:55,967
NO. HE LEFT BECAUSE
HE HATED YOU.
272
00:11:56,000 --> 00:11:57,800
WELL, HE WASN'T EVEN
YOUR REAL DAD ANYWAY.
273
00:11:57,833 --> 00:11:58,900
YOU KNOW,
I READ YOUR DIARY,
274
00:11:58,933 --> 00:12:01,467
MISS "BOO-HOO, MY GYM
TEACHER MOLESTED ME."
275
00:12:01,500 --> 00:12:02,500
DORK.
DYKE.
276
00:12:02,533 --> 00:12:04,067
WHAT?
277
00:12:05,500 --> 00:12:06,900
Hagitha: EXCUSE ME.
278
00:12:06,933 --> 00:12:09,467
I DON'T MEAN TO INTERRUPT
THIS FAMILY REUNION,
279
00:12:09,500 --> 00:12:11,467
BUT ARE YOU ACTUALLY
WORKING ON THIS CASE,
280
00:12:11,500 --> 00:12:12,467
OFFICER, UH...
281
00:12:12,500 --> 00:12:14,133
UH, PRIMESSUSPEKT,
DOUGHY PRIMESSUSPEKT,
282
00:12:14,167 --> 00:12:15,300
AND YES, I AM.
283
00:12:15,333 --> 00:12:16,800
IT TECHNICALLY FALLS
UNDER MY JURISDICTION
284
00:12:16,833 --> 00:12:18,633
BECAUSE THE KILLER'S
COSTUME WAS STOLEN
285
00:12:18,667 --> 00:12:20,133
FROM THE SPENCERS
AT MY MALL.
286
00:12:20,167 --> 00:12:21,467
THAT, AND, UH, YOU KNOW,
287
00:12:21,500 --> 00:12:23,633
WHOOPEE CUSHIONS
AND SOME FAKE DOG SHIT.
288
00:12:23,667 --> 00:12:26,333
PARDON ME... CANINE SHIT.
289
00:12:26,367 --> 00:12:27,733
WHO CARES
ABOUT THAT CRAP?
290
00:12:27,767 --> 00:12:29,567
I DO.
291
00:12:29,600 --> 00:12:31,700
A COOL KID WAS
GUTTED LAST NIGHT.
292
00:12:31,733 --> 00:12:32,800
COME ON.
IT'S PROBABLY
293
00:12:32,833 --> 00:12:34,200
SOME HARMLESS
HIGH-SCHOOL PRANK.
294
00:12:34,233 --> 00:12:36,200
LOOK.
THIS IS LAME.
295
00:12:36,233 --> 00:12:37,300
LET'S GET
OUT OF HERE.
296
00:12:37,333 --> 00:12:38,633
HEY, YOU GUYS.
I GOT AN IDEA.
297
00:12:38,667 --> 00:12:40,700
LET'S ALL MAKE A PACT
TO LOSE OUR VIRGINITIES
298
00:12:40,733 --> 00:12:41,800
BEFORE GRADUATION.
299
00:12:41,833 --> 00:12:43,067
I'M IN.
300
00:12:44,333 --> 00:12:45,567
Other kids: WE'RE NOT.
301
00:12:46,667 --> 00:12:48,067
YEAH. ME, NEITHER.
302
00:12:48,100 --> 00:12:49,367
Slab: YEAH!
303
00:12:49,400 --> 00:12:51,800
WHOO!
304
00:12:51,833 --> 00:12:52,833
YEAH.
305
00:12:52,867 --> 00:12:54,467
LITTLE BASTARDS.
306
00:12:54,500 --> 00:12:55,633
I COULD JUST KILL 'EM.
307
00:12:55,667 --> 00:12:57,533
YEAH, BUT YOU DIDN'T,
DID YOU?
308
00:12:57,567 --> 00:12:58,900
I'M JUST KIDDING YOU.
NO, REALLY.
309
00:12:58,933 --> 00:13:00,967
YOU DIDN'T KILL 'EM,
DID YOU?
310
00:13:01,000 --> 00:13:04,133
SO, YOU'RE ONE OF THOSE
NETWORK REPORTERS, HUH?
311
00:13:04,167 --> 00:13:05,800
ACTUALLY, CABLE...
312
00:13:05,833 --> 00:13:07,300
BUT IT'S
JUST AS IMPORTANT.
313
00:13:07,333 --> 00:13:08,467
OH, IT'S MORE IMPORTANT.
314
00:13:08,500 --> 00:13:10,300
BECAUSE ON CABLE, YOU CAN
SEE BUTTS AND BOOBIES,
315
00:13:10,333 --> 00:13:11,967
AND YOU CAN SAY
"BULLSHIT" AND "BASTARD."
316
00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:14,700
SO, DO YOU ACTUALLY
HAVE ANY INSIDE DIRT?
317
00:13:14,733 --> 00:13:16,900
AS A MATTER OF FACT,
I DO.
318
00:13:21,700 --> 00:13:23,300
[GASPS]
319
00:13:23,333 --> 00:13:25,700
KILLER BOOT.
320
00:13:25,733 --> 00:13:28,700
THANKS.
I LIKE YOURS, TOO.
321
00:13:28,733 --> 00:13:30,667
OH, THANKS.
322
00:13:30,700 --> 00:13:34,467
SO, UM, I GUESS
I'LL SEE YOU LATER.
323
00:13:34,500 --> 00:13:35,800
I HOPE SO.
324
00:13:35,833 --> 00:13:36,800
OH. SORRY.
325
00:13:36,833 --> 00:13:37,800
IT'S OK.
326
00:13:37,833 --> 00:13:38,800
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
327
00:13:38,833 --> 00:13:40,233
COME ON, LARD ASS!
328
00:13:43,000 --> 00:13:45,467
I'M GONNA
KEEP MY EYE ON HER.
329
00:13:45,500 --> 00:13:47,667
SHE'S GOT CLASS.
330
00:13:52,233 --> 00:13:54,700
[MAN SCREAMS]
331
00:13:54,733 --> 00:13:57,000
[PULP FICTION-LIKE
MUSIC PLAYING]
332
00:14:14,067 --> 00:14:16,200
P.A.: ATTENTION, STUDENTS.
333
00:14:16,233 --> 00:14:19,333
THE BAND FUND-RAISER
WILL BE HELD NEXT THURSDAY
334
00:14:19,367 --> 00:14:21,067
IN THE AUDITORIUM.
335
00:14:21,100 --> 00:14:24,733
LIQUOR IN THE FRONT,
POKER IN THE REAR.
336
00:14:31,333 --> 00:14:32,967
[SIZZLES]
337
00:14:33,000 --> 00:14:34,967
[GIRL MOANS]
338
00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:36,900
OH.
339
00:14:39,000 --> 00:14:41,133
[AIR HISSES]
340
00:14:41,167 --> 00:14:42,300
[POP]
[GIRL SCREAMS]
341
00:14:42,333 --> 00:14:43,400
[POP]
[SCREAM]
342
00:14:44,667 --> 00:14:46,000
I DIDN'T DO IT.
343
00:14:46,033 --> 00:14:47,133
WE DIDN'T SAY
YOU DID IT.
344
00:14:47,167 --> 00:14:48,967
BONER, YOU COULDN'T
GET LAID AT LILITH FAIR,
345
00:14:49,000 --> 00:14:50,300
MUCH LESS KILL SOMEBODY.
346
00:14:50,333 --> 00:14:51,400
I COULD, TOO.
347
00:14:51,433 --> 00:14:53,733
WELL, KILL SOMEBODY,
I MEAN.
348
00:14:55,333 --> 00:14:56,433
I COULD KILL
ALL OF YOU.
349
00:15:00,333 --> 00:15:01,633
BUT I WOULDN'T!
350
00:15:01,667 --> 00:15:02,633
[SIGHS]
351
00:15:02,667 --> 00:15:04,800
THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING.
I DIDN'T DO IT.
352
00:15:04,833 --> 00:15:07,067
NOW, SLAB...
353
00:15:07,100 --> 00:15:08,467
HE'S A KILLER.
354
00:15:08,500 --> 00:15:12,200
JUST LOOK AT
THOSE EARLOBES...
355
00:15:12,233 --> 00:15:14,567
WAY LOW.
356
00:15:17,167 --> 00:15:18,733
REALLY?
357
00:15:22,833 --> 00:15:23,833
OOH.
358
00:15:23,867 --> 00:15:26,567
SKINNY MIRROR.
359
00:15:36,500 --> 00:15:39,300
MAN, THAT GUY
LOOKS REALLY FAMILIAR.
360
00:15:39,333 --> 00:15:40,800
THAT'S SPACEY,
DAWSON.
361
00:15:40,833 --> 00:15:43,200
HE'S BANGING
THE FRENCH TEACHER.
362
00:15:43,233 --> 00:15:44,333
REALLY?
363
00:15:44,367 --> 00:15:46,367
SHE'S FROM FRANCE.
364
00:15:46,400 --> 00:15:47,633
PARIS, FRANCE.
365
00:15:47,667 --> 00:15:49,633
MADAME LA TOURNEAU.
[PURRS]
366
00:15:49,667 --> 00:15:51,633
YEAH. HE SAYS
THE SEX IS AWESOME.
367
00:15:51,667 --> 00:15:53,800
LUCKY DOG.
368
00:15:53,833 --> 00:15:56,967
AU REVOIR, SPACEY.
369
00:15:57,000 --> 00:15:58,967
CALL ME LATER.
370
00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:00,967
SAY, "BYE-BYE, PAPA.
BYE-BYE."
371
00:16:01,000 --> 00:16:02,733
[BABY CRIES]
372
00:16:04,933 --> 00:16:06,467
HEY, MARTINA.
373
00:16:06,500 --> 00:16:07,800
NO, BONER.
374
00:16:07,833 --> 00:16:09,033
HEY, DAWSON.
375
00:16:09,067 --> 00:16:11,233
DO YOU HAVE ANY LOTION
I CAN BORROW?
376
00:16:12,333 --> 00:16:15,233
IT'S FOR MY RASH.
377
00:16:16,667 --> 00:16:18,867
I GOT TO GO TO CLASS.
378
00:16:18,900 --> 00:16:20,567
[BELL RINGS]
379
00:16:26,167 --> 00:16:28,700
Teacher: OK. OK.
SETTLE DOWN, CLASS.
380
00:16:28,733 --> 00:16:32,500
SETTLE DOWN. DOWN.
THAT'S IT. THAT'S IT.
381
00:16:32,533 --> 00:16:35,533
I'M YOUR SUBSTITUTE...
MRS. TINGLE.
382
00:16:35,567 --> 00:16:37,133
[GUNS COCK]
383
00:16:37,167 --> 00:16:39,367
TODAY WE'RE
GOING TO BE STUDYING
384
00:16:39,400 --> 00:16:42,400
ABOUT THE PERSECUTION
OF THE JEWISH PEOPLE.
385
00:16:45,833 --> 00:16:47,467
WHO CAN TELL ME
386
00:16:47,500 --> 00:16:50,033
WHAT THE VERB IS
IN THIS SENTENCE?
387
00:16:50,067 --> 00:16:54,633
SABRINA? MOESHA? DARIA?
388
00:16:54,667 --> 00:16:57,900
OOH, EEH? OOH, AH, AH?
389
00:17:12,900 --> 00:17:15,133
Mrs. Tingle:
WHO CAN TELL ME
390
00:17:15,167 --> 00:17:17,800
IF FRANKENSTEIN
WAS CIRCUMCISED?
391
00:17:17,833 --> 00:17:18,967
Woman: MARTINA,
392
00:17:19,000 --> 00:17:21,467
DON'T FORGET TO GIVE
GRANDMA HER LAXATIVE.
393
00:17:21,500 --> 00:17:23,067
I WON'T.
394
00:17:39,000 --> 00:17:40,300
[GURGLING]
395
00:17:40,333 --> 00:17:42,900
SLAB, I THINK
YOU'VE HAD ENOUGH.
396
00:17:42,933 --> 00:17:44,133
WHY?
397
00:17:44,167 --> 00:17:45,900
BECAUSE YOU WON'T
HAVE ANY ROOM FOR BEER.
398
00:17:47,433 --> 00:17:49,700
WHOA! HEY!
399
00:17:49,733 --> 00:17:52,633
WHOO! THAT WAS CLOSE.
400
00:17:52,667 --> 00:17:55,233
WHOO, MAN, IF I WRECKED,
MY DAD WOULD KILL ME.
401
00:17:55,267 --> 00:17:58,067
HAND ME A BEER.
402
00:17:58,100 --> 00:18:00,500
GUYS, OUR SENIOR YEAR
IS GONNA BE THE BEST EVER.
403
00:18:00,533 --> 00:18:03,700
I'M THE NEW
KIELBASA QUEEN.
404
00:18:03,733 --> 00:18:06,633
AND I JUST GOT ACCEPTED
TO HARVARD LAW SCHOOL, BABY.
405
00:18:06,667 --> 00:18:07,967
I JUST GOT A FOREIGN
EXCHANGE STUDENT
406
00:18:08,000 --> 00:18:10,833
LIVING IN MY HOUSE.
SHE'S SWEDISH.
407
00:18:10,867 --> 00:18:12,633
AND I JUST GOT
A "D" IN MATH!
408
00:18:12,667 --> 00:18:13,800
Slab and Boner: YEAH!
409
00:18:13,833 --> 00:18:15,367
SLAB, LOOK OUT!
410
00:18:15,400 --> 00:18:16,400
All: AAH!
411
00:18:17,933 --> 00:18:19,833
[TIRES SCREECH]
412
00:18:21,733 --> 00:18:25,333
I THINK I HIT SOMETHING.
413
00:18:28,767 --> 00:18:32,533
OH, I THINK
I'M GONNA BE SICK.
414
00:18:32,567 --> 00:18:33,533
[POP]
415
00:18:33,567 --> 00:18:34,867
YEP,
I'VE GOT A FEVER.
416
00:18:34,900 --> 00:18:39,033
SLAB, YOU GOT BLOOD
ALL OVER YOU.
417
00:18:39,067 --> 00:18:41,333
OH,
THAT'S NO PROBLEM.
418
00:18:41,367 --> 00:18:43,200
IT COMES OUT WITH
A LITTLE TEQUILA.
419
00:18:43,233 --> 00:18:46,133
HA HA.
OLD SCOUT TRICK.
420
00:18:46,167 --> 00:18:47,800
SLAB,
GIVE ME A HAND.
421
00:18:47,833 --> 00:18:49,500
WASN'T THAT TROPHY
ENOUGH?
422
00:18:49,533 --> 00:18:51,700
YES, BUT WE HAVE
TO DUMP THIS DEER.
423
00:18:51,733 --> 00:18:53,567
ALL RIGHT, SWEETIE.
424
00:18:57,733 --> 00:19:00,400
CAN EVERYBODY
KEEP A SECRET?
425
00:19:03,233 --> 00:19:05,600
[FOGHORN]
426
00:19:14,000 --> 00:19:14,967
[WOMAN GROANS]
427
00:19:15,000 --> 00:19:15,967
[FARTS]
428
00:19:16,000 --> 00:19:18,133
Woman: MARTINA-AAH.
429
00:19:18,167 --> 00:19:19,300
[FART]
430
00:19:19,333 --> 00:19:20,300
[GROANS]
431
00:19:20,333 --> 00:19:21,467
[CRASH]
432
00:19:21,500 --> 00:19:26,167
YES. THIS NEVER HAPPENED.
433
00:19:30,333 --> 00:19:32,033
[SPLASH]
434
00:19:33,167 --> 00:19:34,967
[MAN HUMMING]
435
00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:36,467
Mrs. Tingle:
WHO CAN TELL ME
436
00:19:36,500 --> 00:19:38,367
HOW TO CONJUGATE
THE VERB "EXPIRE"?
437
00:19:47,500 --> 00:19:51,467
DOUGHY.
THAT'S AN INTERESTING NAME.
438
00:19:51,500 --> 00:19:53,067
THANKS.
IT'S MY DAD'S NAME.
439
00:19:53,100 --> 00:19:54,467
HE'S A BAKER.
440
00:19:54,500 --> 00:19:56,700
HAGITHA...
441
00:19:56,733 --> 00:19:59,133
NOW THAT'S
A BEAUTIFUL NAME.
442
00:19:59,167 --> 00:20:01,567
THANKS.
MY FRIENDS CALL ME HAG.
443
00:20:01,600 --> 00:20:03,967
OH, DO THEY?
THAT'S SO CUTE.
444
00:20:04,000 --> 00:20:07,033
DAMN IT.
SHE'S FLAT!
445
00:20:10,567 --> 00:20:12,900
ACTUALLY,
THEY'RE "C" CUPS.
446
00:20:12,933 --> 00:20:15,467
I GUESS I GOT TO
GET THESE THINGS REDONE.
447
00:20:15,500 --> 00:20:16,567
DOUGHY...
448
00:20:22,833 --> 00:20:25,967
UH, DOUGHY,
I WAS WONDERING,
449
00:20:26,000 --> 00:20:28,300
HOW DID YOU GET INTO
THIS LINE OF WORK?
450
00:20:28,333 --> 00:20:30,800
WELL, I GOT TOO FAT
FOR THE BALLET,
451
00:20:30,833 --> 00:20:32,500
AND I COULD NEVER
GET MY BULGE RIGHT,
452
00:20:32,533 --> 00:20:35,400
YOU KNOW, SO I FIGURED
WHAT THE HELL.
453
00:20:35,433 --> 00:20:37,700
[CHUCKLES]
454
00:20:37,733 --> 00:20:39,067
HAGITHA...
455
00:20:40,733 --> 00:20:42,800
DO YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND?
456
00:20:42,833 --> 00:20:45,233
WELL, NOT YET.
457
00:20:45,267 --> 00:20:46,633
OH, MAIL ORDER, HUH?
458
00:20:46,667 --> 00:20:48,467
YEAH. I'VE TRIED THAT
A FEW TIMES MYSELF.
459
00:20:48,500 --> 00:20:50,533
LISTEN.
IF IT DOESN'T WORK OUT,
460
00:20:50,567 --> 00:20:52,967
WOULD YOU LET ME KNOW?
461
00:20:53,000 --> 00:20:54,500
I SURE WILL.
462
00:20:54,533 --> 00:20:56,067
THANK YOU.
YEAH.
463
00:21:00,267 --> 00:21:01,967
[TWEET]
OW!
464
00:21:02,000 --> 00:21:03,700
OK. TIFFANY, AMBER,
INTO THE CHAIR.
465
00:21:03,733 --> 00:21:04,900
COME ON. SHAKE IT!
466
00:21:09,833 --> 00:21:11,433
MAMA.
467
00:21:15,400 --> 00:21:16,800
LADIES.
468
00:21:16,833 --> 00:21:18,800
NOW,
I NEED A VOLUNTEER.
469
00:21:18,833 --> 00:21:20,067
BONER!
470
00:21:20,100 --> 00:21:22,000
YOU LOOK LIKE A VICTIM.
YOU'RE UP.
471
00:21:22,033 --> 00:21:26,133
BUT, MR. HASSELHOF,
I-I-I CAN'T SWIM.
472
00:21:26,167 --> 00:21:27,400
PERFECT.
NO.
473
00:21:27,433 --> 00:21:30,100
AAH!
474
00:21:31,833 --> 00:21:32,900
MARCO!
475
00:21:35,833 --> 00:21:38,967
OH!
I WANT TO LIVE.
476
00:21:39,000 --> 00:21:40,900
OH, YEAH.
I WANT TO LIVE.
477
00:21:42,667 --> 00:21:45,267
YEAH. RIGHT NOW, PLEASE.
478
00:21:51,333 --> 00:21:52,800
YEAH.
479
00:21:52,833 --> 00:21:55,867
NOT SO MUCH TONGUE,
AMBER.
480
00:21:58,333 --> 00:22:00,467
NOW, THIS IS
A TEXTBOOK EXAMPLE
481
00:22:00,500 --> 00:22:02,467
OF MOUTH-TO-MOUTH
RESUSCITATION.
482
00:22:02,500 --> 00:22:04,133
SOME OF YOU MAY WANT TO
PRACTICE THIS AT HOME
483
00:22:04,167 --> 00:22:06,467
OR, IF YOU'D LIKE
TO STAY AFTER CLASS,
484
00:22:06,500 --> 00:22:07,533
I'D BE MORE THAN
HAPPY TO POINT OUT...
485
00:22:07,567 --> 00:22:09,300
Both: EWW!
486
00:22:09,333 --> 00:22:10,367
BONER!
487
00:22:10,400 --> 00:22:12,633
IT'S BONNER, SIR.
488
00:22:12,667 --> 00:22:13,567
NOT AT THE MOMENT.
489
00:22:35,500 --> 00:22:36,733
[WHIMPERS]
490
00:22:45,667 --> 00:22:47,967
YOU HAVE TO MAKE SURE
THIS GETS TO THE GOVERNOR
491
00:22:48,000 --> 00:22:49,300
AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.
492
00:22:49,333 --> 00:22:50,567
IT'S MY LAST CHANCE,
LITTLE BROTHER.
493
00:22:50,600 --> 00:22:53,367
OTHERWISE, I'LL FRY.
494
00:22:53,400 --> 00:22:55,133
DON'T WORRY, JIMMY.
495
00:22:55,167 --> 00:22:57,733
YOU CAN COUNT ON ME.
496
00:22:57,767 --> 00:22:59,567
TIME'S UP,
BONER!
497
00:22:59,600 --> 00:23:01,533
IT'S BONNER, MA'AM.
498
00:23:01,567 --> 00:23:04,133
NOT FOR LONG.
DEAD BONER WALKIN'!
499
00:23:04,167 --> 00:23:05,067
[GATE BUZZES]
500
00:23:16,233 --> 00:23:18,800
I HOPE YOU GUYS
DON'T MIND,
501
00:23:18,833 --> 00:23:20,467
I MAY HAVE TO
GET HOME EARLY.
502
00:23:20,500 --> 00:23:23,967
ME AND MILLIE,
MY SWEDISH EXCHANGE STUDENT,
503
00:23:24,000 --> 00:23:26,800
ARE ABOUT HALFWAY
THROUGH THE KAMA SUTRA.
504
00:23:26,833 --> 00:23:30,567
OH, BONNER, I DON'T
WANT TO SHARE YOU.
505
00:23:30,600 --> 00:23:33,633
YEAH. WHAT'S SHE GOT
THAT WE DON'T HAVE?
506
00:23:33,667 --> 00:23:35,733
A TWIN SISTER.
507
00:23:36,833 --> 00:23:38,500
[GASPS]
508
00:23:38,533 --> 00:23:39,800
SLAB, LOOK OUT!
509
00:23:39,833 --> 00:23:41,867
AAH!
510
00:23:41,900 --> 00:23:44,567
CAN EVERYBODY
KEEP A SECRET?
511
00:23:54,833 --> 00:23:56,733
Jimmy's voice: I'LL FRY.
512
00:23:57,833 --> 00:23:59,400
[ECHOED] FRY...
513
00:23:59,433 --> 00:24:01,133
[LIGHT BUZZES]
514
00:24:01,167 --> 00:24:05,667
YES.
THIS NEVER HAPPENED.
515
00:24:08,233 --> 00:24:09,233
[SPLASH]
516
00:24:10,333 --> 00:24:11,467
[WHIMPERS]
517
00:24:11,500 --> 00:24:13,567
I'M NEVER GONNA GET LAID.
518
00:24:15,500 --> 00:24:16,967
[HARD ROCK PLAYING]
519
00:24:17,000 --> 00:24:18,233
[MUFFLED SCREAM]
520
00:24:22,500 --> 00:24:23,733
[BEEP]
521
00:24:36,000 --> 00:24:38,533
"I KAN... KANOW...
522
00:24:38,567 --> 00:24:41,167
"KANOW. I K-NOW WH...
523
00:24:41,200 --> 00:24:42,367
[GRUNTS]
524
00:24:42,400 --> 00:24:43,700
"WH-WHAT...
525
00:24:43,733 --> 00:24:46,800
"I K-NOW WHAT YEH...
526
00:24:46,833 --> 00:24:47,800
"YEOW...
527
00:24:47,833 --> 00:24:49,900
"I K-NOW WHAT YOU..."
528
00:24:54,033 --> 00:24:55,967
Martina: SLAB, I THINK
YOU'VE HAD ENOUGH.
529
00:24:56,000 --> 00:24:58,667
REALLY, DARLING?
530
00:24:58,700 --> 00:25:00,467
YOUR CONCERN
IS ADMIRABLE
531
00:25:00,500 --> 00:25:02,300
BUT COMPLETELY
WITHOUT MERIT.
532
00:25:02,333 --> 00:25:04,033
I'M DOING
SPLENDIDLY!
533
00:25:04,067 --> 00:25:05,467
ANYONE READ
THAT ARTICLE
534
00:25:05,500 --> 00:25:07,300
IN THE TIMES SCIENCE
SECTION LAST WEEK?
535
00:25:07,333 --> 00:25:10,667
IT SEEMS GENE SPLICING
IS ALL THE RAGE.
536
00:25:10,700 --> 00:25:11,800
SLAB, LOOK OUT!
537
00:25:11,833 --> 00:25:13,467
AAH!
538
00:25:13,500 --> 00:25:15,833
CAN EVERYBODY
KEEP A SECRET?
539
00:25:15,867 --> 00:25:17,233
UH-HUH.
540
00:25:21,700 --> 00:25:24,733
Man: SLAB, I'M LOOKING
FOR YOUR UNCLE LOU'S URN.
541
00:25:24,767 --> 00:25:26,300
WE'RE SCATTERING
HIS ASHES TODAY.
542
00:25:26,333 --> 00:25:28,300
HAVE YOU SEEN IT?
543
00:25:28,333 --> 00:25:30,167
[CHOKES]
544
00:25:30,200 --> 00:25:32,633
NO!
545
00:25:32,667 --> 00:25:34,400
[COUGHS]
546
00:25:38,167 --> 00:25:43,067
YES.
THIS NEVER HAPPENED.
547
00:25:47,000 --> 00:25:48,667
[SPLASH]
548
00:25:48,700 --> 00:25:51,633
"SHAN... SHANU... CHANAK..."
549
00:25:51,667 --> 00:25:52,633
[BELL RINGS]
550
00:25:52,667 --> 00:25:57,267
"CHAN... CHANAKA...
CHANA... KHAN... CHACHI..."
551
00:26:04,833 --> 00:26:07,067
[SHOES SQUEAK]
552
00:26:10,067 --> 00:26:11,333
[SIGHS]
553
00:26:11,367 --> 00:26:12,333
BARBARA,
554
00:26:12,367 --> 00:26:15,133
I'M AFRAID IT'S
WORSE THAN WE FEARED.
555
00:26:15,167 --> 00:26:16,567
NURSE KEVORKIAN,
YOU MEAN...?
556
00:26:16,600 --> 00:26:19,700
YES, BARBARA,
YOU HAVE CHLAMYDIA
557
00:26:19,733 --> 00:26:21,367
[GASPS]
AND GONORRHEA
558
00:26:21,400 --> 00:26:22,667
[GASPS]
AND SYPHILIS
559
00:26:22,700 --> 00:26:23,800
[GASPS]
AND CRABS.
560
00:26:23,833 --> 00:26:25,000
[BIG GASP]
561
00:26:25,033 --> 00:26:28,067
WHEW. I THOUGHT YOU
WERE GONNA SAY I HAD HERPES.
562
00:26:28,100 --> 00:26:30,500
OH, YES, AND HERPES.
563
00:26:30,533 --> 00:26:33,633
DAMN THOSE STARBUCKS'
TOILET SEATS.
564
00:26:33,667 --> 00:26:34,867
NOW, YOUNG LADY,
565
00:26:34,900 --> 00:26:37,233
ISN'T THERE
SOMEBODY SPECIAL
566
00:26:37,267 --> 00:26:39,467
YOU WISH TO MAKE AWARE
OF YOUR CONDITION?
567
00:26:39,500 --> 00:26:42,167
YOU MEAN LIKE A TEACHER
OR MY DAD?
568
00:26:42,200 --> 00:26:45,333
WELL, I WAS THINKING
MORE LIKE A BOYFRIEND.
569
00:26:45,367 --> 00:26:48,067
OH. DO YOU
HAVE A YEARBOOK?
570
00:26:49,733 --> 00:26:50,800
[SIGHS]
571
00:26:50,833 --> 00:26:52,300
BARBARA, BARBARA,
572
00:26:52,333 --> 00:26:54,800
PLEASE TAKE SOME
ADVICE FROM A WOMAN
573
00:26:54,833 --> 00:26:57,367
WHO'S HAD SOME
EXPERIENCE IN THIS AREA.
574
00:26:57,400 --> 00:26:58,733
I WISH TO
EXPLAIN SOMETHING
575
00:26:58,767 --> 00:27:00,833
THAT WE
IN THE HEALTH PROFESSION
576
00:27:00,867 --> 00:27:03,100
REFER TO AS
"HITTING SKINS."
577
00:27:04,900 --> 00:27:07,767
"KNOCKING BOOTS..."
578
00:27:09,000 --> 00:27:11,733
"DOING THE NASTY..."
579
00:27:12,767 --> 00:27:15,233
"BUMPING UGLIES?"
580
00:27:18,533 --> 00:27:21,367
I'M TALKING
ABOUT SEX, DEAR.
581
00:27:21,400 --> 00:27:23,033
OH.
582
00:27:23,067 --> 00:27:25,967
SEX CAN BE A BEAUTIFUL,
SENSUAL EXPERIENCE
583
00:27:26,000 --> 00:27:27,633
BETWEEN A MAN
AND A WOMAN
584
00:27:27,667 --> 00:27:29,067
WHO TRULY
LOVE EACH OTHER
585
00:27:29,100 --> 00:27:31,067
AND WANT TO
SHARE ETERNITY
586
00:27:31,100 --> 00:27:34,733
LAYING IN EACH OTHER'S
GENTLE EMBRACE...
587
00:27:36,167 --> 00:27:39,800
OR IT CAN BE A DIRTY,
FILTHY SPANKFEST
588
00:27:39,833 --> 00:27:42,133
IN A BUS STATION
BATHROOM
589
00:27:42,167 --> 00:27:44,467
SHARED BY 2 ANONYMOUS
CONSENTING ADULTS
590
00:27:44,500 --> 00:27:45,967
ON A LAYOVER IN DETROIT,
591
00:27:46,000 --> 00:27:47,233
AND NOBODY
EVER NEED KNOW.
592
00:27:49,067 --> 00:27:50,133
[SIGHS]
593
00:27:50,167 --> 00:27:52,467
WELL, I THINK
YOU GOT MY POINT.
594
00:27:52,500 --> 00:27:55,067
NOW, UH, SHOULD WE GO
AND LOOK AT YOUR X-RAYS?
595
00:27:55,100 --> 00:27:57,133
X-RAYS
WITH A PAP SMEAR?
596
00:27:57,167 --> 00:27:59,733
OH, WE'RE
VERY THOROUGH HERE.
597
00:27:59,767 --> 00:28:02,767
I JUST CAN'T FIGURE OUT
WHAT THIS WHITE SPOT IS.
598
00:28:06,167 --> 00:28:07,333
Nurse: YOU KNOW,
599
00:28:07,367 --> 00:28:10,367
A PAIR OF TUBE SOCKS
WORKS EVER SO MUCH BETTER.
600
00:28:10,400 --> 00:28:12,800
WHY,
WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE,
601
00:28:12,833 --> 00:28:16,833
I HAD THIS EXPERIENCE
I'LL NEVER FORGET.
602
00:28:16,867 --> 00:28:19,300
THERE WERE 3 OF US,
3 OF US IN ONE BED.
603
00:28:19,333 --> 00:28:21,167
[NURSE KEVORKIAN LAUGHS]
604
00:28:21,200 --> 00:28:24,133
[MOANS]
605
00:28:24,167 --> 00:28:25,633
Woman: BARBARA, HONEY!
606
00:28:25,667 --> 00:28:28,033
I'M EXPECTING
THE REVEREND JOHNSON TODAY.
607
00:28:28,067 --> 00:28:29,700
DID HE COME YET?
608
00:28:29,733 --> 00:28:30,700
ALMOST!
609
00:28:30,733 --> 00:28:32,433
[MOANS]
610
00:28:41,400 --> 00:28:44,967
BARBARA, I COULD NEVER
BE AS BEAUTIFUL AS YOU.
611
00:28:45,000 --> 00:28:46,800
OR SWALLOW
AS MUCH SAUSAGE.
612
00:28:46,833 --> 00:28:48,133
CAN I HAVE
YOUR AUTOGRAPH?
613
00:28:48,167 --> 00:28:49,133
WILL YOU
MARRY ME?
614
00:28:49,167 --> 00:28:50,300
NO. ME!
NO. ME!
615
00:28:50,333 --> 00:28:53,300
RELAX. THERE'S PLENTY
OF BARBARA TO GO AROUND.
616
00:28:53,333 --> 00:28:56,867
TODAY MISS KIELBASA QUEEN.
TOMORROW THE WORLD.
617
00:28:56,900 --> 00:28:59,133
CARMEN ELECTRA,
WATCH YOUR BACK.
618
00:28:59,167 --> 00:29:00,400
SLAB, LOOK OUT!
619
00:29:00,433 --> 00:29:02,133
All: AAH!
620
00:29:02,167 --> 00:29:04,400
CAN EVERYBODY
KEEP A SECRET?
621
00:29:11,400 --> 00:29:12,633
[GASPS]
622
00:29:12,667 --> 00:29:16,067
YES. THIS NEVER HAPPENED.
623
00:29:18,400 --> 00:29:19,833
[SPLASH]
624
00:29:19,867 --> 00:29:21,800
[BELL RINGS]
625
00:29:21,833 --> 00:29:25,167
...AND THAT'S HOW I KNEW
I WASN'T A LESBIAN.
626
00:29:25,200 --> 00:29:26,967
NOW, BARBARA,
I THINK YOU NEED
627
00:29:27,000 --> 00:29:29,567
TO TAKE THIS
SAFE-SEX KIT WITH YOU.
628
00:29:29,600 --> 00:29:31,300
YOU NEVER KNOW
WHEN YOU MAY NEED IT.
629
00:29:31,333 --> 00:29:32,300
I GOT TO GO.
630
00:29:32,333 --> 00:29:33,467
ALL RIGHT,
631
00:29:33,500 --> 00:29:36,067
BUT IT MAY NOT BE HERE
WHEN YOU COME BACK.
632
00:29:40,400 --> 00:29:41,833
OH-HO.
633
00:29:44,167 --> 00:29:45,133
HEY, DOUGHY.
634
00:29:45,167 --> 00:29:46,133
HEY, BABY.
635
00:29:46,167 --> 00:29:47,133
CHICKEN?
636
00:29:47,167 --> 00:29:48,233
A LITTLE,
BUT IT'S MY JOB.
637
00:29:50,500 --> 00:29:52,300
DO YOU HAVE
ANY NEW SUSPECTS YET?
638
00:29:52,333 --> 00:29:53,833
WELL, WE'RE CHECKING OUT
EVERYONE IN TOWN.
639
00:29:53,867 --> 00:29:55,533
ANY NEW DEVELOPMENTS?
640
00:29:55,567 --> 00:29:57,133
YEAH,
MY VACATION PICTURES.
641
00:29:57,167 --> 00:29:58,633
OH.
642
00:29:58,667 --> 00:30:00,633
WHO'S THAT,
YOUR GRANDMOTHER?
643
00:30:00,667 --> 00:30:01,867
WITH THE BONG? YEAH.
644
00:30:01,900 --> 00:30:02,900
GLAUCOMA?
645
00:30:02,933 --> 00:30:03,967
SPRING BREAK.
646
00:30:04,000 --> 00:30:05,300
THAT'S ME.
647
00:30:05,333 --> 00:30:07,300
OOH. NO TAN LINES.
648
00:30:07,333 --> 00:30:08,633
I FEEL LIKE A HOT DOG.
649
00:30:08,667 --> 00:30:09,633
FOOT LONG?
650
00:30:09,667 --> 00:30:10,633
AT LEAST.
651
00:30:10,667 --> 00:30:11,633
I'M BUYING.
652
00:30:11,667 --> 00:30:12,567
WHOA!
653
00:30:17,667 --> 00:30:19,467
I'VE GOT A WEIRD
FEELING, DAWSON.
654
00:30:19,500 --> 00:30:21,467
WAIT TILL YOU EAT
THE TUNA TACOS.
655
00:30:21,500 --> 00:30:23,867
NO. I MEAN,
SCREW BEING KILLED.
656
00:30:23,900 --> 00:30:25,400
OH, THAT.
657
00:30:27,500 --> 00:30:29,467
THERE'S A CRAZED KILLER
ON THE LOOSE, DAWSON.
658
00:30:29,500 --> 00:30:30,800
THAT DEAD POPULAR KID
659
00:30:30,833 --> 00:30:32,133
COULD'VE BEEN
ANY ONE OF US.
660
00:30:32,167 --> 00:30:33,633
BUT IT WASN'T.
SO WHAT DO YOU CARE?
661
00:30:33,667 --> 00:30:34,800
WHAT ABOUT NEXT TIME
HE ATTACKS?
662
00:30:34,833 --> 00:30:35,800
AND YOU KNOW HE WILL.
663
00:30:35,833 --> 00:30:36,800
DO YOU HAVE
A RESERVATION, SIR?
664
00:30:36,833 --> 00:30:37,800
DAWSON.
665
00:30:37,833 --> 00:30:38,800
PARTY OF FIVE?
666
00:30:38,833 --> 00:30:39,800
WRONG NETWORK.
667
00:30:39,833 --> 00:30:41,133
YES, OF COURSE,
SIR.
668
00:30:41,167 --> 00:30:42,800
RIGHT THIS WAY,
SIR.
669
00:30:42,833 --> 00:30:44,800
I WOULDN'T WORRY ABOUT IT
SO MUCH IF I WERE YOU.
670
00:30:44,833 --> 00:30:45,800
WHY?
671
00:30:45,833 --> 00:30:48,467
BECAUSE
YOU'RE WITH ME.
672
00:30:48,500 --> 00:30:50,633
DIDN'T YOUR WHOLE FAMILY
GET CHOPPED UP
673
00:30:50,667 --> 00:30:52,467
AND FED TO A FISH FARM?
674
00:30:52,500 --> 00:30:54,567
ALLEGEDLY.
675
00:30:56,333 --> 00:30:58,200
AND WHAT MAKES YOU THINK
YOU'RE SO SPECIAL
676
00:30:58,233 --> 00:31:00,300
HE'D WANT
TO KILL YOU, ANYWAY?
677
00:31:00,333 --> 00:31:03,700
WELL,
BECAUSE I GOT THIS.
678
00:31:03,733 --> 00:31:05,967
AND HOW DO YOU KNOW
IT'S A HE?
679
00:31:06,000 --> 00:31:08,867
BECAUSE...
680
00:31:08,900 --> 00:31:12,067
SERIAL KILLERS AND
DENTISTS ARE ALWAYS MEN.
681
00:31:13,200 --> 00:31:15,567
I SAY ROOFIES
ARE BULLSHIT.
682
00:31:15,600 --> 00:31:17,300
I TAKE THEM
BEFORE EVERY DATE,
683
00:31:17,333 --> 00:31:18,967
AND I NEVER
GET LAID.
684
00:31:19,000 --> 00:31:21,067
MAYBE YOU'RE
NOT TAKING ENOUGH.
685
00:31:22,400 --> 00:31:24,133
YOU GOT ONE, TOO?
686
00:31:24,167 --> 00:31:25,400
Barbara: IF THAT'S
WHAT I THINK IT IS,
687
00:31:25,433 --> 00:31:26,967
I GOT ONE.
688
00:31:27,000 --> 00:31:29,233
PRESCRIPTION
FOR GYNE-LOTRIMIN?
689
00:31:29,267 --> 00:31:32,867
OH, WRONG PAPER.
690
00:31:32,900 --> 00:31:35,133
WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?
691
00:31:35,167 --> 00:31:37,200
I THINK
I GOT ONE, TOO.
692
00:31:37,233 --> 00:31:38,867
WHAT DOES
YOURS SAY, SLAB?
693
00:31:38,900 --> 00:31:41,033
"SHANU-SHA-SHA..."
694
00:31:41,067 --> 00:31:43,133
GIVE ME THAT.
695
00:31:43,167 --> 00:31:45,633
THAT'S IT.
WE'RE ALL TARGETS.
696
00:31:45,667 --> 00:31:46,633
OH, GOD.
697
00:31:46,667 --> 00:31:48,467
I KNEW MY BEAUTY
WOULD BE A CURSE.
698
00:31:48,500 --> 00:31:50,800
THE BOTTOM LINE IS
EVERYBODY GOT A NOTE.
699
00:31:50,833 --> 00:31:52,200
WE'RE ALL IN DANGER.
700
00:31:52,233 --> 00:31:53,667
NOT EVERYBODY.
701
00:31:55,167 --> 00:31:56,567
UNH.
702
00:32:02,600 --> 00:32:05,067
FINE. HAPPY NOW?
703
00:32:06,333 --> 00:32:08,200
"YOU MAY ALREADY
BE A VICTIM."
704
00:32:13,167 --> 00:32:15,333
Man: BAD! BAD DEER!
705
00:32:15,367 --> 00:32:18,733
BAD, BAD, BAD, BAD!
706
00:32:18,767 --> 00:32:20,633
[DRY-VOMITS]
707
00:32:20,667 --> 00:32:23,233
NO MORE SALT LICK.
708
00:32:23,267 --> 00:32:25,900
DEERS DON'T TALK!
709
00:32:29,333 --> 00:32:30,300
[GROANS]
710
00:32:30,333 --> 00:32:31,533
[DOOR OPENS]
711
00:32:35,667 --> 00:32:36,767
[FARTS]
712
00:32:47,600 --> 00:32:48,700
Slab: WHAT'S THAT?
713
00:32:48,733 --> 00:32:51,333
Martina:
SLAB, LOOK OUT!
714
00:32:51,367 --> 00:32:53,233
Dawson: AAH!
715
00:32:54,700 --> 00:32:56,567
NO! I JUST ATE!
716
00:32:58,000 --> 00:32:58,900
[SPLASH]
717
00:32:58,933 --> 00:33:01,900
All: YES.
THIS NEVER HAPPENED.
718
00:33:04,200 --> 00:33:05,467
WOW!
WHAT DID YOU WIN?
719
00:33:05,500 --> 00:33:07,300
DUH, EINSTEIN.
IT MEANS DAWSON'S
720
00:33:07,333 --> 00:33:08,967
THE FIRST ONE ON
THE CHOPPING BLOCK.
721
00:33:09,000 --> 00:33:10,033
WHAT A RELIEF.
722
00:33:10,067 --> 00:33:12,333
BIG DEAL... NOTES.
723
00:33:12,367 --> 00:33:14,700
IT'S PROBABLY JUST
SOME KID PLAYING A JOKE.
724
00:33:14,733 --> 00:33:17,533
I MEAN, AFTER ALL,
IT IS HALLOWEEN.
725
00:33:17,567 --> 00:33:20,300
AND FRIDAY THE 13th.
726
00:33:20,333 --> 00:33:23,667
ON THE SAME DAY?
IMPOSSIBLE.
727
00:33:23,700 --> 00:33:25,167
SLAB'S DYSLEXIC.
728
00:33:26,500 --> 00:33:28,800
BESIDES, A KID
COULDN'T WRITE THAT.
729
00:33:28,833 --> 00:33:30,467
AT LEAST NOT A KID
IN PUBLIC SCHOOL.
730
00:33:30,500 --> 00:33:32,000
UNLESS HE WAS
JAPANESE.
731
00:33:32,033 --> 00:33:33,000
BUT THEY'RE
NOT HISTORICALLY
732
00:33:33,033 --> 00:33:34,000
SERIAL KILLERS.
733
00:33:34,033 --> 00:33:35,633
UH-UH-UH.
WHAT ABOUT GODZILLA?
734
00:33:35,667 --> 00:33:37,133
NOT TECHNICALLY
JAPANESE.
735
00:33:37,167 --> 00:33:39,233
HE WAS BORN
IN INTERNATIONAL WATERS.
736
00:33:39,267 --> 00:33:40,633
AHH, SO...
737
00:33:40,667 --> 00:33:41,833
WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?
738
00:33:41,867 --> 00:33:43,200
WE? NOTHING,
DIPSHIT.
739
00:33:43,233 --> 00:33:45,133
AND HOW DO I KNOW
IT'S NOT ONE OF YOU GUYS?
740
00:33:45,167 --> 00:33:47,200
WELL, WE COULD MAKE
HANDWRITING SAMPLES.
741
00:33:47,233 --> 00:33:48,300
SLAB'S OUT.
742
00:33:48,333 --> 00:33:49,467
WHOO-HOO!
NOT A KILLER!
743
00:33:49,500 --> 00:33:50,967
RIGHT HERE!
NOT A KILLER!
744
00:33:51,000 --> 00:33:52,133
WAIT A SECOND.
745
00:33:52,167 --> 00:33:53,800
JUST BECAUSE
HE CAN'T READ
746
00:33:53,833 --> 00:33:55,533
DOESN'T MEAN
HE'S NOT THE KILLER.
747
00:33:55,567 --> 00:33:57,133
YEAH. LOOK
AT THE CLINTONS.
748
00:33:57,167 --> 00:33:58,133
Others: WHAT?
749
00:33:58,167 --> 00:34:00,633
NO. THIS IS STUPID,
AND YOU'RE STUPID.
750
00:34:00,667 --> 00:34:02,567
WHY WOULD WE WANT
TO KILL EACH OTHER?
751
00:34:02,600 --> 00:34:04,533
YEAH. SO WHAT IF SLAB
LOST MY TERM PAPER
752
00:34:04,567 --> 00:34:06,633
AFTER HE COPIED IT AND
TURNED IT IN AS HIS OWN
753
00:34:06,667 --> 00:34:08,033
AND GOT AN "A."
754
00:34:08,067 --> 00:34:10,733
YEAH. AND SO WHAT
IF BARBARA TOLD EVERYONE
755
00:34:10,767 --> 00:34:12,367
I GOT A SMALL "SHWONTZ."
756
00:34:12,400 --> 00:34:15,400
EVEN THOUGH I DON'T.
757
00:34:15,433 --> 00:34:16,967
EXACTLY. AND SO WHAT
758
00:34:17,000 --> 00:34:18,967
IF BONER'S DAD WAS
CHEATING WITH MY MOM,
759
00:34:19,000 --> 00:34:21,867
LEADING TO HER DOWNWARD
SPIRAL INTO ALCOHOLISM.
760
00:34:21,900 --> 00:34:23,800
MY DAD IS WHAT?
761
00:34:23,833 --> 00:34:25,800
AND YOU KNOW WHAT'S
REALLY STRANGE,
762
00:34:25,833 --> 00:34:26,800
IS SOMEHOW,
763
00:34:26,833 --> 00:34:29,133
THE KILLER ALWAYS
KNOWS WHERE WE ARE.
764
00:34:29,167 --> 00:34:30,867
OOH. OOF.
765
00:34:30,900 --> 00:34:32,133
All: YEAH.
766
00:34:32,167 --> 00:34:33,700
YOU KNOW WHAT
WE'VE GOT TO DO?
767
00:34:33,733 --> 00:34:35,300
WE'VE GOT TO
GET OUT OF HERE.
768
00:34:35,333 --> 00:34:36,500
TO SOMEPLACE
SAFE.
769
00:34:36,533 --> 00:34:37,833
YEAH, IN THE MIDDLE
OF NOWHERE...
770
00:34:37,867 --> 00:34:40,033
IN THE DARK WOODS
AND POURING RAIN...
771
00:34:40,067 --> 00:34:41,300
WITHOUT ANY
ADULT SUPERVISION
772
00:34:41,333 --> 00:34:43,333
OR POLICE PROTECTION
ANYWHERE IN THE NEAR VICINITY.
773
00:34:43,367 --> 00:34:45,700
AND I KNOW JUST THE PLACE.
IT'S TOTALLY DESERTED
774
00:34:45,733 --> 00:34:48,033
EVER SINCE THOSE DORKY KIDS
WERE DISMEMBERED.
775
00:34:48,067 --> 00:34:50,133
ARE YOU TALKING
ABOUT BAND CAMP?
776
00:34:50,167 --> 00:34:51,633
WAIT A SECOND.
THIS IS STUPID.
777
00:34:51,667 --> 00:34:53,300
LET'S JUST ALL GO
TO ONE OF YOUR HOUSES.
778
00:34:53,333 --> 00:34:54,300
HEY, THAT'S COOL.
779
00:34:54,333 --> 00:34:55,367
MY PARENTS
ARE OUT OF TOWN.
780
00:34:55,400 --> 00:34:58,033
THEY WON'T
BOTHER US.
781
00:34:59,600 --> 00:35:00,967
NO.
LET'S GO TO MY HOUSE.
782
00:35:01,000 --> 00:35:02,800
MY PARENTS ARE
LOCKED IN THE BASEMENT.
783
00:35:02,833 --> 00:35:04,900
THEY'LL TOTALLY
LEAVE US ALONE.
784
00:35:06,000 --> 00:35:08,300
Barbara:
NO, MY HOUSE.
785
00:35:08,333 --> 00:35:09,300
MY PARENTS ARE DIVORCED,
786
00:35:09,333 --> 00:35:10,533
AND I SPEND THE WEEKENDS
WITH MY DAD,
787
00:35:10,567 --> 00:35:11,800
BUT HE TRIES TO MAKE UP
FOR LOST TIME
788
00:35:11,833 --> 00:35:13,200
BY LETTING ME GET AWAY
WITH MURDER.
789
00:35:13,233 --> 00:35:14,200
[ALL GASP]
790
00:35:14,233 --> 00:35:16,367
WELL, YOU KNOW
WHAT I MEAN.
791
00:35:16,400 --> 00:35:17,467
ALL RIGHT.
LET'S GO TO MY HOUSE.
792
00:35:17,500 --> 00:35:18,467
MY PARENTS ARE DEAD.
793
00:35:18,500 --> 00:35:20,833
ALL RIGHT!
COOL.
794
00:35:20,867 --> 00:35:22,200
ALL RIGHT, SO WE'LL
STAY THERE THE NIGHT,
795
00:35:22,233 --> 00:35:23,633
AND WE'LL BE SAFE.
796
00:35:23,667 --> 00:35:24,700
OK, SO IT'S SETTLED, THEN.
797
00:35:24,733 --> 00:35:26,233
WE'LL ALL MEET UP
AT SLAB'S HOUSE.
798
00:35:26,267 --> 00:35:28,600
UNTIL THEN,
WATCH YOUR BACKS.
799
00:35:37,400 --> 00:35:38,833
P.A.: WILL THE FOLLOWING
STUDENTS
800
00:35:38,867 --> 00:35:40,800
PLEASE REPORT
TO THE PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE.
801
00:35:40,833 --> 00:35:46,533
JACK MEOFF, MIKE CUNT, LOSE HER,
AND HEYWOOD YOUBUMP.
802
00:35:46,567 --> 00:35:48,500
AH, WELL, YOUR
UM, READING SCORES
803
00:35:48,533 --> 00:35:49,700
ARE AVERAGE, JIMMY,
804
00:35:49,733 --> 00:35:52,400
BUT, UH, BUT YOU'RE KILLING
ON A 12th-GRADE LEVEL.
805
00:35:52,433 --> 00:35:53,533
CONGRATULATIONS.
806
00:35:53,567 --> 00:35:55,833
YOU'RE GONNA DO JUST FINE
AT THE SEMINARY.
807
00:35:59,333 --> 00:36:01,333
[BELL RINGS]
808
00:36:14,867 --> 00:36:16,767
[COYOTE HOWLS]
809
00:36:25,567 --> 00:36:27,467
[WOMEN LAUGHING]
810
00:36:27,500 --> 00:36:28,633
Woman: HOW ABOUT
THAT MICHAEL DUNNE?
811
00:36:28,667 --> 00:36:30,533
NOW THERE'S AN ASS
THAT WON'T QUIT.
812
00:36:30,567 --> 00:36:31,700
Second woman:
YOU'RE TELLING ME.
813
00:36:31,733 --> 00:36:33,133
HE'S IN MY
THIRD PERIOD CLASS.
814
00:36:33,167 --> 00:36:34,533
I'D LIKE TO JUMP
HIS BONES.
815
00:36:34,567 --> 00:36:36,300
[WOMEN LAUGH]
816
00:36:36,333 --> 00:36:39,033
[TOILETS FLUSH]
817
00:36:39,067 --> 00:36:40,533
HEY, DID YOU FINISH
GRADING YOUR TERM PAPERS?
818
00:36:40,567 --> 00:36:41,800
NO, I WAS
TOO HUNG OVER.
819
00:36:41,833 --> 00:36:42,900
DID YOU READ
ANY OF YOURS?
820
00:36:42,933 --> 00:36:44,867
NEVER READ THEM.
WHO DOES?
821
00:36:44,900 --> 00:36:46,167
HEY, DO YOU KNOW
WHERE I CAN GET
822
00:36:46,200 --> 00:36:47,633
AN UNREGISTERED
HANDGUN?
823
00:36:47,667 --> 00:36:49,033
YOU GOT 50 BUCKS?
824
00:36:49,067 --> 00:36:50,033
UM...
825
00:36:50,067 --> 00:36:51,033
I CAN GET IT BY FRIDAY.
826
00:36:51,067 --> 00:36:52,433
I'LL SEE WHAT I CAN DO.
827
00:37:05,933 --> 00:37:07,900
[SUBMARINE RADAR PINGING]
828
00:37:09,333 --> 00:37:11,567
[DEEP BREATH]
829
00:37:28,533 --> 00:37:29,733
[SCREAMS]
830
00:37:41,533 --> 00:37:43,033
♪ DO, DO, DO, DO, DO, DO ♪
831
00:37:43,067 --> 00:37:46,233
♪ DO WAAA ♪
832
00:37:47,567 --> 00:37:49,333
♪ YOU'RE NEVER FRESH
OUT OF TUNE ♪
833
00:37:49,367 --> 00:37:51,300
♪ WHEN YOU'RE HOLDING
THE KNIFE ♪
834
00:37:51,333 --> 00:37:54,567
♪ WITH MENTALS THIS
WILL BE YOUR NIGHT ♪
835
00:37:54,600 --> 00:37:56,967
♪ LADY LUCK WILL
LIFT YOU UP ♪
836
00:37:57,000 --> 00:37:58,733
♪ WHEN YOU'RE SPORTING
FRESH BREATH ♪
837
00:37:58,767 --> 00:38:00,500
♪ BEFORE YOU STRIKE ♪
838
00:38:00,533 --> 00:38:04,033
♪ 'CAUSE YOUR DEATH GOES
BETTER WITH MENTALS FRESHNESS ♪
839
00:38:04,067 --> 00:38:07,467
♪ DEATH GOES BETTER
WITH MENTALS FRESHNESS ♪
840
00:38:07,500 --> 00:38:09,500
♪ DEATH GOES BETTER
WITH YOU ♪
841
00:38:09,533 --> 00:38:12,133
♪ WHAT ARE YOU
DOING TONIGHT? ♪
842
00:38:12,167 --> 00:38:13,067
JEEZ.
843
00:38:16,100 --> 00:38:19,033
P.A.: ATTENTION, STUDENTS.
TONIGHT'S P.T.A. MEETING
844
00:38:19,067 --> 00:38:21,333
WILL BE HELD AT
THE HOOTERS RESTAURANT
845
00:38:21,367 --> 00:38:22,533
IN GLENDALE.
846
00:38:22,567 --> 00:38:24,667
PLEASE REMIND
YOUR PARENTS.
847
00:38:24,700 --> 00:38:28,667
ALSO, WHOEVER PUT REAL MEAT
IN TODAY'S LUNCH,
848
00:38:28,700 --> 00:38:31,067
PLEASE REMOVE IT.
849
00:38:31,100 --> 00:38:34,967
MAN, THIS CAR SUCKS.
850
00:38:35,000 --> 00:38:36,700
WHAT A PIECE OF SHIT.
851
00:38:36,733 --> 00:38:38,333
[SNORTS, SPITS]
852
00:38:38,367 --> 00:38:41,167
HEY, GUYS, WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT?
853
00:38:42,267 --> 00:38:44,533
DON'T YOU SEE
WHAT I SEE?
854
00:38:44,567 --> 00:38:46,167
WHY, THIS CAR'S
AUTOMATIC.
855
00:38:48,233 --> 00:38:50,000
SYSTEMATIC.
856
00:38:51,400 --> 00:38:52,767
IT'S HYDROMATIC.
857
00:38:53,900 --> 00:38:55,333
WHY, IT'S GREASE FRIGHTNING.
858
00:38:58,533 --> 00:39:00,067
[1950's MUSIC PLAYING]
859
00:39:19,533 --> 00:39:22,367
WHAT A FAG.
860
00:39:22,400 --> 00:39:25,667
LET'S GO PIN IT
ON HIS LOCKER. FAG.
861
00:39:25,700 --> 00:39:29,900
OF COURSE IT'S STUPID
IF NO ONE ELSE SINGS.
862
00:39:29,933 --> 00:39:31,067
DICKS.
863
00:39:37,433 --> 00:39:38,400
WHATEVER.
864
00:39:45,433 --> 00:39:49,533
[LONG SIGH]
865
00:39:49,567 --> 00:39:52,500
HUH.
866
00:39:57,767 --> 00:40:00,033
[LONG SIGH]
867
00:40:00,067 --> 00:40:03,200
HUH? MR. ANDRETTI?
868
00:40:03,233 --> 00:40:05,500
[MOTOR RUMBLES]
869
00:40:05,533 --> 00:40:07,167
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYS]
870
00:40:21,833 --> 00:40:29,500
AAAAAAAAHHHH!
871
00:40:30,600 --> 00:40:37,900
AAAAAAAAHHHH!
872
00:40:39,900 --> 00:40:45,900
AAAAAAHHH!
873
00:40:47,333 --> 00:40:50,367
[POLICE SIREN BLARES]
874
00:40:50,400 --> 00:40:51,333
GREAT.
875
00:40:53,067 --> 00:40:56,400
MOTHER-SCRATCHER.
876
00:40:59,133 --> 00:41:02,367
[SIGHS]
877
00:41:05,733 --> 00:41:07,733
LICENSE AND
ACTIVE WARRANTS?
878
00:41:14,733 --> 00:41:15,733
[HORN BLARES]
879
00:41:15,767 --> 00:41:18,200
P.A.: MAY I HAVE
YOUR ATTENTION
880
00:41:18,233 --> 00:41:21,700
FOR THE RESULTS OF
YESTERDAY'S PREGNANCY TESTS.
881
00:41:21,733 --> 00:41:26,533
SUSAN SAVINSKY, NEGATIVE.
MELISSA BLAKE, POSITIVE.
882
00:41:26,567 --> 00:41:28,900
JONATHAN WINER, NEGATIVE.
883
00:41:33,733 --> 00:41:35,367
DID YOU KNOW THAT
MOST SERIAL KILLERS
884
00:41:35,400 --> 00:41:36,700
HAVE AN EXTRA
CHROMOSOME?
885
00:41:36,733 --> 00:41:37,700
OH, REALLY?
886
00:41:37,733 --> 00:41:40,333
YEAH, TRUST ME.
I'M FROM WISCONSIN.
887
00:41:41,900 --> 00:41:43,367
THAT'S
A REALLY NICE GUN.
888
00:41:43,400 --> 00:41:45,633
THANKS. MY MOM
BOUGHT IT FOR ME.
889
00:41:45,667 --> 00:41:47,067
NOW I'M SAVING UP
FOR BULLETS.
890
00:41:47,100 --> 00:41:48,700
HMM. 9 MILLIMETER?
891
00:41:48,733 --> 00:41:50,133
WHEN IT'S COLD.
892
00:41:50,167 --> 00:41:51,467
YOU KNOW A LOT
ABOUT THIS STUFF.
893
00:41:51,500 --> 00:41:52,533
WELL, I HAVE TO.
894
00:41:52,567 --> 00:41:54,133
MY DEMO SHOWED THAT
I'M MOST POPULAR
895
00:41:54,167 --> 00:41:55,500
WITH FELONS
AND BEDWETTERS.
896
00:41:55,533 --> 00:41:59,067
HMM. PERFECT.
THEN, I'M YOUR MAN.
897
00:41:59,100 --> 00:42:01,700
YOU DO
LIKE TO WATCH.
898
00:42:01,733 --> 00:42:03,067
[CAMERAMAN
STILL GAGGING]
899
00:42:08,167 --> 00:42:09,333
WHO DOESN'T?
900
00:42:16,567 --> 00:42:19,567
[WHISTLE BLOWS]
901
00:42:19,600 --> 00:42:21,967
[BELL RINGS]
902
00:42:22,000 --> 00:42:25,867
SEIG HEIL! SEIG HEIL!
SEIG HEIL!
903
00:42:25,900 --> 00:42:29,333
P.A.: ATTENTION, STUDENTS.
FLIGHT 916 FOR TUSCANY
904
00:42:29,367 --> 00:42:32,467
WILL BE BOARDING
AT GATE 14A.
905
00:42:32,500 --> 00:42:34,133
THE WHITE ZONE
IS FOR LOADING
906
00:42:34,167 --> 00:42:36,867
AND UNLOADING
OF PASSENGERS ONLY.
907
00:42:36,900 --> 00:42:39,200
NO PARKING.
908
00:42:39,233 --> 00:42:41,367
ALSO, TODAY'S HAPPY HOUR
909
00:42:41,400 --> 00:42:43,700
WILL BE HELD
IN THE BIOLOGY LAB.
910
00:42:43,733 --> 00:42:48,000
REMEMBER, WINGS ARE FREE
WHEN YOU BUY A PITCHER.
911
00:42:54,567 --> 00:42:56,300
♪ SHE'S GONNA TAKE ♪
912
00:42:56,333 --> 00:42:58,000
♪ THE BLINK OF AN EYE ♪
913
00:42:58,033 --> 00:42:59,833
♪ I DON'T WANNA
SOUND DEFEATING ♪
914
00:42:59,867 --> 00:43:02,533
♪ BUT YOU KNOW THAT SHE'S
EVERYTHING TO ME ♪
915
00:43:02,567 --> 00:43:04,367
♪ SHE'S EVERYTHING ♪
916
00:43:04,400 --> 00:43:06,033
♪ SHE'S GOIN' OUT ♪
917
00:43:06,067 --> 00:43:08,900
♪ SHE'S GOIN' TO DO MY THING ♪
918
00:43:14,833 --> 00:43:16,867
♪ WE TALK ABOUT THIS ♪
919
00:43:16,900 --> 00:43:18,000
♪ SHE MAKES IT OK ♪
920
00:43:18,033 --> 00:43:19,933
♪ WE GO FOR OUR... ♪
921
00:43:33,700 --> 00:43:35,000
[HORN BLARES]
922
00:43:35,033 --> 00:43:36,567
[CHEERING]
923
00:43:38,833 --> 00:43:40,233
P.A.: WE'RE IN
THE FINAL TURN.
924
00:43:40,267 --> 00:43:42,533
IT'S MARTINA
AND THE KILLER.
925
00:43:42,567 --> 00:43:44,367
THE KILLER
MAKING HIS MOVE.
926
00:43:44,400 --> 00:43:47,400
NOW IT'S THE KILLER
AND MARTINA.
927
00:43:47,433 --> 00:43:49,967
MARTINA NOW MAKING
HER MOVE.
928
00:43:50,000 --> 00:43:52,833
NOW IT'S MARTINA
AND THE KILLER.
929
00:43:56,600 --> 00:43:59,500
[CHARIOTS OF FIRE-LIKE THEME
PLAYING]
930
00:44:24,100 --> 00:44:26,367
THE KILLER WITH
THE FACE GEAR!
931
00:44:26,400 --> 00:44:27,367
YEAH!
[BAND PLAYS]
932
00:44:35,100 --> 00:44:36,733
YEAH, YEAH!
933
00:44:40,700 --> 00:44:42,900
YEAH! HEY...
934
00:44:46,567 --> 00:44:49,000
P.A.: ATTENTION, STUDENTS.
935
00:44:49,033 --> 00:44:52,533
THERE WILL BE A FIRE DRILL
AT 3:05 TODAY.
936
00:44:52,567 --> 00:44:56,367
PLEASE BRING YOUR OWN MATCHES
AND LIGHTER FLUID.
937
00:45:04,200 --> 00:45:06,733
[SQUEAKING]
938
00:45:13,367 --> 00:45:14,267
[SQUEAKING]
939
00:45:15,500 --> 00:45:16,400
YAAH!
940
00:45:20,067 --> 00:45:22,233
OH.
941
00:45:25,167 --> 00:45:27,867
2 MINUTES TO SHOWTIME...
942
00:45:27,900 --> 00:45:31,233
OR SHOULD
I SAY SHOWER TIME?
943
00:45:34,233 --> 00:45:36,733
OH, YEAH.
944
00:45:36,767 --> 00:45:38,167
COME TO PAPA.
945
00:45:39,333 --> 00:45:41,267
[RUMBLING]
946
00:45:42,500 --> 00:45:46,200
SLAB? DAWSON?
947
00:45:46,233 --> 00:45:48,000
MARTINA?
948
00:46:01,100 --> 00:46:02,500
EUREKA.
949
00:46:05,733 --> 00:46:09,733
ALL RIGHT.
950
00:46:13,400 --> 00:46:15,667
WAIT A MINUTE.
951
00:46:15,700 --> 00:46:17,533
WHAT THE?
952
00:46:34,200 --> 00:46:36,500
[BELL RINGS]
953
00:46:36,533 --> 00:46:39,800
OK, OK, OK.
FACULTY COMING THROUGH.
954
00:46:39,833 --> 00:46:41,733
HELLO? HELLO? CHRIST.
955
00:46:41,767 --> 00:46:43,400
AREN'T ANY OF YOU
ON THE INTERNET?
956
00:46:43,433 --> 00:46:45,600
PUT A LEASH ON IT,
TARZAN.
957
00:46:49,400 --> 00:46:51,833
HELLO, GANG.
WELCOME TO SEX EDUCATION.
958
00:46:51,867 --> 00:46:53,700
IF YOU AREN'T REGISTERED
FOR THIS COURSE
959
00:46:53,733 --> 00:46:55,633
OR ARE A SOUTHERN BAPTIST,
960
00:46:55,667 --> 00:46:57,333
YOU'RE IN THE WRONG ROOM.
961
00:47:02,567 --> 00:47:03,500
TA-TA.
962
00:47:04,733 --> 00:47:07,800
A-CHURCHING WE GO.
OK, LET'S GET STARTED
963
00:47:07,833 --> 00:47:10,000
BY REVIEWING THE BASICS,
SHALL WE?
964
00:47:10,033 --> 00:47:12,300
WHO REMEMBERS
MY 2 FRIENDS
965
00:47:12,333 --> 00:47:16,300
PETER LONGFELLOW
AND VIRGINIA TULIPS?
966
00:47:16,333 --> 00:47:17,867
[SNIFFS, HUSKY VOICE]
OH, BABY.
967
00:47:17,900 --> 00:47:20,233
YOU SMELL LIKE BEER.
968
00:47:20,267 --> 00:47:22,133
[FEMININE VOICE]
OH, OH, PEYTON PLACE,
969
00:47:22,167 --> 00:47:24,500
I'VE ALWAYS RELIED ON
THE KINDNESS OF STRANGERS.
970
00:47:24,533 --> 00:47:26,067
[HUSKY VOICE]
EAT MY STRANGER.
971
00:47:26,100 --> 00:47:29,367
[FEMININE VOICE]
OW! OW! DADDY, DADDY!
972
00:47:29,400 --> 00:47:30,567
[HUSKY VOICE]
UGH! AH!
973
00:47:30,600 --> 00:47:31,700
I'M GONNA GET IT!
974
00:47:31,733 --> 00:47:33,700
[LAMAZE BREATHING]
975
00:47:33,733 --> 00:47:35,833
[FEMININE VOICE]
OW! OW!
976
00:47:37,333 --> 00:47:38,300
YES?
977
00:47:38,333 --> 00:47:39,733
MR. BUCHANAN,
978
00:47:39,767 --> 00:47:41,700
MAY I PLEASE
BE EXCUSED?
979
00:47:41,733 --> 00:47:44,200
COULDN'T WAIT TILL PROM,
MS. DELGADO?
980
00:47:45,600 --> 00:47:48,367
GO. GO, GO, GO, GO, GO.
981
00:47:50,767 --> 00:47:54,133
ALL RIGHT. LET'S MOVE ON
TO OUR FILM, SHALL WE?
982
00:47:54,167 --> 00:47:55,367
I JUST NEED A VOLUNTEER
983
00:47:55,400 --> 00:47:57,433
TO PUT SOME FUELER
IN THE PROJECTOR.
984
00:47:59,000 --> 00:48:00,367
ANYONE.
985
00:48:00,400 --> 00:48:02,633
FUELER.
986
00:48:02,667 --> 00:48:03,833
FUELER.
987
00:48:05,667 --> 00:48:07,133
YES.
988
00:48:07,167 --> 00:48:08,233
I'LL DO IT.
989
00:48:08,267 --> 00:48:10,233
SUGAR BOOGER.
HERE YOU GO.
990
00:48:10,267 --> 00:48:13,033
KNOCK YOURSELF OUT.
THERE YOU GO, KILLER.
991
00:48:13,067 --> 00:48:17,700
YOU WON'T HAVE ANY TROUBLE
WITH THOSE DELTOIDS. HA.
992
00:48:17,733 --> 00:48:19,533
ALL RIGHT,
UM, WHERE WAS I?
993
00:48:19,567 --> 00:48:22,233
UH...
994
00:48:52,500 --> 00:48:53,867
Announcer: THE FOLLOWING
MOTION PICTURE
995
00:48:53,900 --> 00:48:55,067
HAS BEEN RATED X.
996
00:48:55,100 --> 00:48:56,800
IT CONTAINS
ADULT SITUATIONS,
997
00:48:56,833 --> 00:48:59,000
ADULT LANGUAGE,
AND NUDITY.
998
00:48:59,033 --> 00:49:00,967
LOTS OF NUDITY.
999
00:49:01,000 --> 00:49:02,567
EXTENSIVE PAUSING
OR REWINDING
1000
00:49:02,600 --> 00:49:03,700
WILL DAMAGE FILM.
1001
00:49:03,733 --> 00:49:05,867
PARENTAL ABSENCE
IS SUGGESTED.
1002
00:49:08,500 --> 00:49:09,467
Second announcer:
AND NOW,
1003
00:49:09,500 --> 00:49:11,067
FOR OUR FEATURE
PRESENTATION.
1004
00:49:11,100 --> 00:49:13,667
HOLOMARK HALL OF FAME
PROUDLY PRESENTS...
1005
00:49:13,700 --> 00:49:16,900
MOTLEY SCREW:
THE PAM AND TOMMY STORY.
1006
00:49:19,767 --> 00:49:21,967
Tommy: LOOK,
I'M DRIVING THE BOAT.
1007
00:49:22,000 --> 00:49:24,133
LOOK, I'M MEASURING
THE COUCH.
1008
00:49:24,167 --> 00:49:27,067
Pam: YOU LOOK LIKE
A TRIPOD.
1009
00:49:27,100 --> 00:49:30,300
OH. WILL YOU LOOK
AT THAT CHOICE OF WALLPAPER?
1010
00:49:30,333 --> 00:49:33,533
WHO IS YOUR DECORATOR?
MUSSOLINI?
1011
00:49:33,567 --> 00:49:35,200
Pam: MMM...
1012
00:49:35,233 --> 00:49:36,667
HEY, NO ONE'S
GONNA SEE THIS,
1013
00:49:36,700 --> 00:49:37,700
RIGHT, BABY?
1014
00:49:37,733 --> 00:49:39,500
Tommy: OH...
1015
00:49:39,533 --> 00:49:41,433
[ORGAN MUSIC PLAYING]
1016
00:50:00,667 --> 00:50:02,167
[GASPS]
1017
00:50:02,200 --> 00:50:04,067
[SIGHS]
1018
00:50:04,100 --> 00:50:06,533
DO YOU MIND PRACTICING
SOMEWHERE ELSE?
1019
00:50:06,567 --> 00:50:10,533
Tommy: OH, YEAH.
OH, YEAH.
1020
00:50:10,567 --> 00:50:12,067
Pam: OW! OW!
1021
00:50:12,100 --> 00:50:13,867
HEY, THIS ISN'T GONNA
HELP MY SORE THROAT ANY,
1022
00:50:13,900 --> 00:50:16,300
IS IT? OW! OH, OH!
1023
00:50:16,333 --> 00:50:18,233
[ORGAN MUSIC PLAYING]
1024
00:50:36,200 --> 00:50:38,533
HA HA HA.
SCISSORS CUT PAPER.
1025
00:50:38,567 --> 00:50:40,600
YOU LOSE.
1026
00:51:18,333 --> 00:51:21,567
Tommy: HEY, LOOK.
I'M POLE-VAULTING.
1027
00:51:30,700 --> 00:51:33,633
Principal: AHA. THAT'S WHY
I DON'T WEAR UNDERWEAR.
1028
00:51:33,667 --> 00:51:39,033
MMM. THAT WAS AMAZING,
WASN'T IT, BABY?
1029
00:51:39,067 --> 00:51:40,733
I JUST LOVE PLAYING
NAUGHTY KILLER
1030
00:51:40,767 --> 00:51:42,500
AND PRISON PSYCHIATRIST
WITH YOU.
1031
00:51:42,533 --> 00:51:43,500
[MEOWS]
1032
00:51:43,533 --> 00:51:45,400
BUT NEXT TIME,
DON'T PULL IT SO TIGHT.
1033
00:51:45,433 --> 00:51:47,733
THAT'S MY GOOD SCARF.
HA HA HA.
1034
00:51:49,233 --> 00:51:51,833
LET'S SEE WHAT THE KIDS
IS UP TO.
1035
00:52:01,767 --> 00:52:04,067
THAT'S WHAT
I'M TALKING ABOUT.
1036
00:52:12,200 --> 00:52:14,867
OH, I'M SORRY, LOVER.
1037
00:52:14,900 --> 00:52:16,567
DID I LEAVE YOU HANGING?
1038
00:52:16,600 --> 00:52:18,233
I KNOW WHAT WE NEED.
1039
00:52:18,267 --> 00:52:21,500
♪ MARGARITAS ♪
1040
00:52:21,533 --> 00:52:23,033
THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.
1041
00:52:23,067 --> 00:52:24,667
SEE? IT'S ME AND YOU, GIRL.
1042
00:52:24,700 --> 00:52:26,800
ALL RIGHT.
1043
00:52:26,833 --> 00:52:29,200
ME AND YOU.
1044
00:52:29,233 --> 00:52:33,200
HEY, YOU KIDS,
KNOCK OFF THE GRAB-ASS!
1045
00:52:33,233 --> 00:52:35,067
IT'S A GOOD THING
PRINCIPAL WINKLER
1046
00:52:35,100 --> 00:52:36,867
LEFT THAT FUTON BEHIND.
1047
00:52:36,900 --> 00:52:39,067
COME ON. I WANT
TO SHOW YOU A TRICK.
1048
00:52:41,933 --> 00:52:45,300
HEY! WHAT DID I
JUST TELL YOU?
1049
00:52:45,333 --> 00:52:47,300
LET'S GO, MAN.
1050
00:52:47,333 --> 00:52:49,467
I... I DIDN'T SEE YOU
COME IN.
1051
00:52:49,500 --> 00:52:52,133
WELL, WHAT DO
WE HAVE HERE?
1052
00:52:52,167 --> 00:52:54,800
UH, I WAS JUST BONING UP
ON MY... ON MY C.P.R.,
1053
00:52:54,833 --> 00:52:58,367
A-A-AND I GOT A SORE HIP,
SO WE WAS IN...
1054
00:52:58,400 --> 00:53:00,200
WHAT THE?
1055
00:53:00,233 --> 00:53:02,500
HEY, DON'T MAKE ME
COME DOWN THERE.
1056
00:53:02,533 --> 00:53:03,933
HEY. ALL RIGHT.
1057
00:53:06,367 --> 00:53:09,533
HA-YA!
1058
00:53:09,567 --> 00:53:13,533
ALL RIGHT.
THAT'S IT. UGH.
1059
00:53:13,567 --> 00:53:18,033
DAMN. WANNABE.
1060
00:53:18,067 --> 00:53:21,000
CHERRY VAN, MAN.
1061
00:53:21,033 --> 00:53:22,900
THANKS. I BOUGHT IT
FROM JEWEL.
1062
00:53:22,933 --> 00:53:24,633
IT STILL SMELLS
LIKE PEANUT BUTTER.
1063
00:53:24,667 --> 00:53:25,867
YEAH.
1064
00:53:25,900 --> 00:53:27,867
OH, MY GOD.
WE SAW HIM.
1065
00:53:27,900 --> 00:53:29,867
WE ALL DID.
DAWSON'S BEING INTERVIEWED
1066
00:53:29,900 --> 00:53:31,233
BY THE COPS RIGHT NOW.
1067
00:53:33,500 --> 00:53:34,833
YEAH, BUT WORKING
WITH WILLIAM KEVINSON
1068
00:53:34,867 --> 00:53:36,400
WAS A REALLY GREAT
EXPERIENCE FOR ME.
1069
00:53:36,433 --> 00:53:39,500
YOU KNOW,
HE'S A BRILLIANT GUY.
1070
00:53:39,533 --> 00:53:40,733
GOT IT?
1071
00:53:44,900 --> 00:53:47,633
YOU'RE A VERY
ATTRACTIVE MAN.
1072
00:53:47,667 --> 00:53:50,533
NOW, SCRAM!
1073
00:53:50,567 --> 00:53:53,733
I WANT
TO TAKE THAT HOME.
1074
00:53:53,767 --> 00:53:57,900
♪ SCHOOL'S OUT FOR SUMMER ♪
1075
00:53:58,933 --> 00:54:01,333
Director: 2... 1... AND...
1076
00:54:01,367 --> 00:54:03,800
WELCOME BACK
TO BULIMIA FALLS HIGH,
1077
00:54:03,833 --> 00:54:06,467
HOME OF EMPTY-V'S
SPRING BREAK MASSACRE,
1078
00:54:06,500 --> 00:54:07,867
WHERE WE HAVE LIVE COVERAGE
1079
00:54:07,900 --> 00:54:09,367
OF THE COOLEST MURDERS
IN THE COUNTRY
1080
00:54:09,400 --> 00:54:11,533
AND HOT NEW VIDEOS FROM
THE BACKSTREET BOYS.
1081
00:54:11,567 --> 00:54:12,800
SO, DOUGHY.
1082
00:54:12,833 --> 00:54:14,133
HEY, BABY.
1083
00:54:14,167 --> 00:54:15,700
UM, OFFICER PRIMESSUSPEKT?
1084
00:54:15,733 --> 00:54:17,667
IS IT TRUE THAT
ALL THE STUDENTS
1085
00:54:17,700 --> 00:54:19,333
GOT NOTES
FROM THE KILLER?
1086
00:54:19,367 --> 00:54:21,833
UH-HUH.
1087
00:54:21,867 --> 00:54:24,800
WELL, WHAT DOES IT MEAN?
ARE THEY IN DANGER?
1088
00:54:24,833 --> 00:54:26,300
WELL, I DON'T WANT
TO SCARE ANYBODY,
1089
00:54:26,333 --> 00:54:28,067
BUT I'D SAY THEY'RE ALL
STRONG CANDIDATES
1090
00:54:28,100 --> 00:54:29,067
FOR A GOOD,
OLD-FASHIONED
1091
00:54:29,100 --> 00:54:31,900
AX IN THE HEAD.
ARE WE ON LIVE?
1092
00:54:31,933 --> 00:54:33,967
HEY, DICKHEAD.
SHOT OF THEM! SHOT OF THEM!
1093
00:54:34,000 --> 00:54:36,067
[YELLING, CHEERING]
1094
00:54:39,733 --> 00:54:41,300
OK, OFFICER PRIMESSUSPEKT,
1095
00:54:41,333 --> 00:54:43,633
ARE YOU TAKING
ANY EXTRA PRECAUTIONS?
1096
00:54:43,667 --> 00:54:45,033
WELL, I'M WEARING
2 PAIRS OF UNDERPANTS.
1097
00:54:45,067 --> 00:54:46,200
DON'T TOUCH ME!
1098
00:54:47,600 --> 00:54:49,200
AND ALSO,
WE SENT A UNIT OUT
1099
00:54:49,233 --> 00:54:50,400
TO WHATEVER
DESERTED LOCATION
1100
00:54:50,433 --> 00:54:51,467
THESE KIDS
ARE GOING OUT TO.
1101
00:54:51,500 --> 00:54:52,700
WHERE IS THAT PLACE,
KIDS?
1102
00:54:52,733 --> 00:54:55,067
WHOO!
ROCK 'N' ROLL!
1103
00:54:57,867 --> 00:55:00,367
[MUSIC PLAYING,
PEOPLE TALKING]
1104
00:55:02,767 --> 00:55:05,400
Slab: HAS ANYBODY
SEEN MY CATS?
1105
00:55:07,067 --> 00:55:11,067
HEY. HEY, GIRLFRIEND.
COME ON UP HERE.
1106
00:55:21,733 --> 00:55:23,167
HEY, HEY. WATCH
THAT CEILING FAN.
1107
00:55:24,600 --> 00:55:26,033
OH.
1108
00:55:26,067 --> 00:55:28,700
[WET THUD,
MUSIC STOPS]
1109
00:55:28,733 --> 00:55:30,133
[MUSIC, TALKING RESUME]
1110
00:55:30,167 --> 00:55:32,700
SO I GRABBED THE BASTARD
BY HIS CHEAP COSTUME,
1111
00:55:32,733 --> 00:55:34,233
AND I THREW HIM
UP AGAINST THE WALL,
1112
00:55:34,267 --> 00:55:36,233
AND I SAID TO HIM,
"YOU WANT THE TRUTH?"
1113
00:55:38,767 --> 00:55:41,700
AHH. "YOU CAN'T HANDLE
THE TRUTH."
1114
00:55:41,733 --> 00:55:43,667
[VOMITS]
1115
00:55:46,900 --> 00:55:49,000
SO, DO YOU WANT
TO GO UPSTAIRS?
1116
00:56:06,567 --> 00:56:08,300
HA. HEY, DOUGHY.
1117
00:56:08,333 --> 00:56:09,300
HEY, BABY.
1118
00:56:09,333 --> 00:56:11,133
SO, YOU ALL READY
FOR TONIGHT?
1119
00:56:11,167 --> 00:56:13,233
LET'S JUST SAY I GOT
AN ITCHY TRIGGER FINGER.
1120
00:56:13,267 --> 00:56:14,700
POISON IVY?
1121
00:56:14,733 --> 00:56:16,033
NO, I SHOWERED
AT THE "Y."
1122
00:56:16,067 --> 00:56:17,533
OH. BAD SOAP?
1123
00:56:17,567 --> 00:56:18,633
YEAH. I GUESS IT'S ONLY
1124
00:56:18,667 --> 00:56:20,333
SUPPOSED TO BE USED
EXTERNALLY.
1125
00:56:20,367 --> 00:56:23,367
SO, HOW COME YOU HAVE
A RASH ON YOUR FINGER, THEN?
1126
00:56:23,400 --> 00:56:25,333
WELL, I HAD
TO GET IT OUT.
1127
00:56:27,100 --> 00:56:29,733
SO, UH, YOU THINK
THE KILLER'S GONNA SHOW UP?
1128
00:56:29,767 --> 00:56:32,233
IT'S HALLOWEEN,
ISN'T IT?
1129
00:56:34,100 --> 00:56:36,767
[LAUGHS]
1130
00:56:43,567 --> 00:56:47,533
[TAPPING]
1131
00:56:47,567 --> 00:56:50,367
COLLECTING FOR THE UNLUCKY
FISHERMAN'S ASSOCIATION.
1132
00:56:50,400 --> 00:56:53,100
OH, SORRY, DUDE.
I... I GAVE AT THE PIER.
1133
00:56:55,267 --> 00:56:58,067
OK, SO, WHAT DO YOU GUYS
WANT TO WATCH?
1134
00:56:58,100 --> 00:56:59,000
OH, HOW ABOUT
TELETUBBIES?
1135
00:56:59,033 --> 00:57:00,533
NAH. WE DON'T HAVE ANY POT.
1136
00:57:00,567 --> 00:57:01,867
ALL RIGHT.
WE'VE GOT HOT SHOTS,
1137
00:57:01,900 --> 00:57:04,400
THE NAKED GUN,
OOH, AIRPLANE.
1138
00:57:04,433 --> 00:57:05,867
YEAH. I HEAR IF YOU
PAUSE IT JUST RIGHT,
1139
00:57:05,900 --> 00:57:07,700
YOU CAN SEE
LESLIE NEILSEN'S PENIS.
1140
00:57:07,733 --> 00:57:09,000
All: EWW!
1141
00:57:11,067 --> 00:57:12,700
PARODIES ARE LAME.
1142
00:57:12,733 --> 00:57:13,700
I'M GONNA GET
SOME MORE BEER.
1143
00:57:13,733 --> 00:57:15,000
I'LL BE BACK.
1144
00:57:15,033 --> 00:57:16,000
WHAT ARE YOU,
CRAZY?
1145
00:57:16,033 --> 00:57:17,400
YOU CAN'T TALK
LIKE THAT, BARBARA.
1146
00:57:17,433 --> 00:57:19,400
I MEAN, WE ARE IN
A PARODY SITUATION.
1147
00:57:19,433 --> 00:57:20,833
WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT?
1148
00:57:20,867 --> 00:57:24,500
A PARODY. A KILLER IN
A "THE KILLER" COSTUME
1149
00:57:24,533 --> 00:57:25,867
SLAUGHTERING
A BUNCH OF GOOD-LOOKING,
1150
00:57:25,900 --> 00:57:27,233
HORNY STUDENTS AT, LIKE,
1151
00:57:27,267 --> 00:57:29,233
A RIDICULOUSLY NAMED
HIGH SCHOOL.
1152
00:57:31,900 --> 00:57:34,000
OK, HAS ANYBODY
SEEN SCREAM?
1153
00:57:34,033 --> 00:57:35,533
YEAH. GREAT FLICK.
1154
00:57:35,567 --> 00:57:37,400
OK, FOR CHRIST'S
SAKES, GUYS,
1155
00:57:37,433 --> 00:57:39,667
EMPTY V? THAT'S
LIKE THE WORST PUN
1156
00:57:39,700 --> 00:57:41,967
I EVER HEARD.
IT'S SO EASY.
1157
00:57:42,000 --> 00:57:44,467
I MEAN, HELLO?
WE ALL GOT NOTES.
1158
00:57:44,500 --> 00:57:46,233
I KNOW WHAT YOU DID
LAST SUMMER?
1159
00:57:46,267 --> 00:57:48,200
OH, OH. THAT'S NOT
WHAT MINE SAID.
1160
00:57:49,733 --> 00:57:51,233
CHAN-HAN. CHAN...
1161
00:57:51,267 --> 00:57:53,200
GIVE ME THAT.
1162
00:57:53,233 --> 00:57:54,533
GOD, I HAVEN'T BEEN
THIS SCARED
1163
00:57:54,567 --> 00:57:56,600
SINCE I TRIED OUT
FOR THE WNBA.
1164
00:57:59,000 --> 00:58:01,300
WHATEVER.
I'M NOT SCARED.
1165
00:58:01,333 --> 00:58:02,900
[CAT MEOWS]
1166
00:58:04,333 --> 00:58:06,367
OH, CHEAPSHOT.
THERE YOU ARE.
1167
00:58:06,400 --> 00:58:08,400
OH, CHEAPSHOT.
1168
00:58:08,433 --> 00:58:09,500
[MEOWS]
1169
00:58:09,533 --> 00:58:12,400
NOW I REALLY
NEED MORE BEER.
1170
00:58:12,433 --> 00:58:14,567
I MEAN, COME ON, GUYS.
LOOK AROUND YOU.
1171
00:58:14,600 --> 00:58:15,600
I MEAN, DAWSON.
1172
00:58:18,067 --> 00:58:19,333
WHAT? IT'S A FAMILY NAME.
1173
00:58:19,367 --> 00:58:22,400
ARE WE GONNA
BE TESTED ON THIS?
1174
00:58:26,833 --> 00:58:28,300
[BELL RINGS]
1175
00:58:28,333 --> 00:58:29,633
24-HOUR PIZZA.
1176
00:58:29,667 --> 00:58:31,700
IF WE'RE NOT HERE IN 24 HOURS,
WE'RE NOT COMING.
1177
00:58:31,733 --> 00:58:32,833
WHO ORDERED THE LARGE?
1178
00:58:32,867 --> 00:58:33,833
I GOT IT.
1179
00:58:33,867 --> 00:58:36,233
NO, NO, NO, NO.
I GOT THAT. ALLOW ME.
1180
00:58:36,267 --> 00:58:37,233
NO, REALLY. I GOT IT.
1181
00:58:37,267 --> 00:58:38,833
NO, I GOT IT.
I GOT IT.
1182
00:58:38,867 --> 00:58:39,867
HAGITHA, ALLOW ME.
1183
00:58:39,900 --> 00:58:41,333
I'LL FLIP YOU.
YOU'RE ON.
1184
00:58:41,367 --> 00:58:42,333
OOH!
OH!
1185
00:58:45,500 --> 00:58:47,233
BEST 2 OUT OF 3?
1186
00:58:47,267 --> 00:58:49,500
OK.
OK.
1187
00:58:50,667 --> 00:58:52,733
JEEZ.
1188
00:58:52,767 --> 00:58:54,000
ALL RIGHT, LISTEN.
1189
00:58:54,033 --> 00:58:55,467
THERE ARE CERTAIN RULES
YOU HAVE TO FOLLOW
1190
00:58:55,500 --> 00:58:57,867
IN A PARODY SITUATION
IF YOU WANT TO SURVIVE, OK?
1191
00:58:57,900 --> 00:58:59,800
NUMBER ONE:
EXAGGERATE EVERYTHING.
1192
00:58:59,833 --> 00:59:01,067
[DRAMATIC MUSIC NOTE PLAYS]
1193
00:59:01,100 --> 00:59:04,167
NUMBER 88: ACCEPT
THE RIDICULOUS AS LOGICAL.
1194
00:59:06,933 --> 00:59:10,033
DON'T WORRY. I KNOW
HOW TO PLEASE A WOMAN.
1195
00:59:10,067 --> 00:59:12,833
SEXUAL SIGHT GAGS,
ALWAYS FUNNY.
1196
00:59:12,867 --> 00:59:15,000
WE'RE ALMOST THERE.
ALMOST THERE.
1197
00:59:15,033 --> 00:59:18,467
COME ON, BABY, YEAH!
YEAH! YES!
1198
00:59:18,500 --> 00:59:22,533
YES! I GOT IT!
OH, YEAH. OH.
1199
00:59:22,567 --> 00:59:25,033
AND ALONG WITH
WACKY SOUND EFFECTS...
1200
00:59:25,067 --> 00:59:27,533
HERE'S BONER.
[UNZIPS ZIPPER]
1201
00:59:27,567 --> 00:59:30,467
[BOING]
1202
00:59:30,500 --> 00:59:32,567
AND UNLIMITED ABSURDITY.
1203
00:59:34,367 --> 00:59:35,433
AAH!
1204
00:59:41,567 --> 00:59:42,633
AAH!
1205
00:59:42,667 --> 00:59:43,867
AAH!
1206
00:59:43,900 --> 00:59:45,600
AAH!
1207
01:00:03,267 --> 01:00:05,867
REMEMBER.
NOTHING IS SACRED.
1208
01:00:05,900 --> 01:00:07,200
DAMN IT!
1209
01:00:11,767 --> 01:00:13,733
PERFECT.
1210
01:00:13,767 --> 01:00:16,400
JUST PERFECT.
1211
01:00:16,433 --> 01:00:19,333
YOU'RE FORGETTING.
POINT OUT THE OBVIOUS.
1212
01:00:19,367 --> 01:00:21,033
MM-HMM.
1213
01:00:21,067 --> 01:00:25,200
AND FINALLY, PERPETUATE
PAINFUL STEREOTYPES.
1214
01:00:25,233 --> 01:00:28,733
THAT'S RIDICULOUS.
1215
01:00:31,333 --> 01:00:32,867
SEE, NOW THAT'S ORION...
1216
01:00:32,900 --> 01:00:35,733
AND THAT'S HIS PENIS.
1217
01:00:35,767 --> 01:00:37,700
NO, THAT'S
THE BIG DIPPER.
1218
01:00:37,733 --> 01:00:39,733
REALLY? I CALL MINE
"THOR'S HAMMER."
1219
01:00:41,900 --> 01:00:43,200
[GASPS]
1220
01:00:43,233 --> 01:00:45,233
I CAN'T SEE SHIT.
OOF!
1221
01:00:45,267 --> 01:00:47,800
THE BOTTOM LINE IS,
PARODIES COME FROM TRUTH.
1222
01:00:47,833 --> 01:00:49,133
IT'S OBSERVATIONAL,
1223
01:00:49,167 --> 01:00:51,533
SO IF SOMETHING
LOOKS FAMILIAR, HEADS UP.
1224
01:00:51,567 --> 01:00:53,200
HUH?
1225
01:01:07,567 --> 01:01:12,367
[DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES]
1226
01:01:12,400 --> 01:01:13,567
[ELECTRIC KNIFE WHIRS]
1227
01:01:16,033 --> 01:01:17,367
HA HA, BONER.
1228
01:01:17,400 --> 01:01:20,633
[ELECTRIC KNIFE
WHIRS LOUDLY]
1229
01:01:20,667 --> 01:01:21,633
BONER?
1230
01:01:21,667 --> 01:01:22,733
[LAUGHS]
1231
01:01:22,767 --> 01:01:24,700
[GASPS]
YEAH.
1232
01:01:30,367 --> 01:01:31,400
STAY BACK, ASSHOLE.
1233
01:02:08,567 --> 01:02:09,533
[GRUNTING]
1234
01:02:10,567 --> 01:02:12,067
[LAUGHS]
1235
01:02:12,100 --> 01:02:13,333
[GRUNTING]
1236
01:02:16,400 --> 01:02:19,267
[DOORBELL RINGS]
1237
01:02:21,767 --> 01:02:23,500
YEAH.
1238
01:02:23,533 --> 01:02:27,567
♪ WE'VE GOT A RIGHT TO BE LOVERS ♪
1239
01:02:27,600 --> 01:02:29,867
♪ OOH, WE WERE MADE
FOR EACH OTH... ♪
1240
01:02:33,400 --> 01:02:35,533
YEAH.
1241
01:02:35,567 --> 01:02:36,733
YEAH!
[SCREAMS]
1242
01:02:38,067 --> 01:02:39,433
[LAUGHS]
1243
01:02:43,567 --> 01:02:45,333
HELP!
1244
01:02:48,100 --> 01:02:50,833
[DUELING BANJO MUSIC PLAYS]
1245
01:02:53,667 --> 01:02:54,833
[SCREAMS]
[LAUGHS]
1246
01:03:27,233 --> 01:03:28,733
[SCREAMS]
1247
01:03:28,767 --> 01:03:30,867
DAMN THESE FAKE TITS.
1248
01:03:44,200 --> 01:03:45,567
Killer: OH, NO.
1249
01:03:45,600 --> 01:03:47,200
OHH.
1250
01:03:47,233 --> 01:03:50,400
WELL, THIS SURVEILLANCE WORK
IS REALLY INTERESTING.
1251
01:03:50,433 --> 01:03:51,400
YEAH.
1252
01:03:51,433 --> 01:03:52,500
MUST BE REALLY HARD
1253
01:03:52,533 --> 01:03:55,033
TRYING TO BE SO
INCONSPICUOUS AND QUIET.
1254
01:03:55,067 --> 01:03:56,167
RIGHT, WELL,
NOT EVERYBODY'S
1255
01:03:56,200 --> 01:03:57,300
CUT OUT FOR IT,
YOU KNOW.
1256
01:03:57,333 --> 01:03:58,733
HEY, HAVE YOU EVER
HEARD ME PLAY THE DRUMS?
1257
01:03:58,767 --> 01:03:59,667
COME HERE!
1258
01:04:07,400 --> 01:04:08,333
[SCREAMING]
1259
01:04:24,833 --> 01:04:25,867
AAH!
1260
01:04:33,833 --> 01:04:35,367
AAH!
1261
01:04:35,400 --> 01:04:37,000
[LAUGHS]
1262
01:04:42,867 --> 01:04:44,033
[BEES BUZZING]
1263
01:04:48,400 --> 01:04:50,400
[WHIMPERS]
1264
01:05:00,867 --> 01:05:03,233
Killer: OH, DAMN.
1265
01:05:11,733 --> 01:05:13,167
WHOO!
1266
01:05:17,567 --> 01:05:19,900
HEY, NOT BAD.
1267
01:05:21,700 --> 01:05:22,667
ALL RIGHT,
HERE IT COMES.
1268
01:05:22,700 --> 01:05:24,667
All: AND DON'T
CALL ME SHIRLEY!
1269
01:05:24,700 --> 01:05:25,700
WHOO!
1270
01:05:25,733 --> 01:05:27,367
HEY, HEY, GUYS.
1271
01:05:27,400 --> 01:05:29,067
THEY JUST FOUND
THE ADMINISTRATOR
1272
01:05:29,100 --> 01:05:31,800
FORMERLY KNOWN AS PRINCIPAL
BOUND AND GAGGED. DEAD.
1273
01:05:31,833 --> 01:05:32,867
[GASPS]
1274
01:05:32,900 --> 01:05:34,700
LET'S GET DOWN THERE
BEFORE THE CORONER DOES
1275
01:05:34,733 --> 01:05:36,167
AND PLAY WEEKEND
AT BERNIE'S WITH HIM.
1276
01:05:36,200 --> 01:05:37,900
[CHEERING]
1277
01:05:40,333 --> 01:05:41,567
AND I NEVER GOT
A CHANCE TO KNOW HIM.
1278
01:05:41,600 --> 01:05:42,667
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
1279
01:05:42,700 --> 01:05:44,233
UM, I'LL GET IT.
IT COULD BE MY ACCOUNTANT.
1280
01:05:44,267 --> 01:05:45,833
[RING]
1281
01:05:45,867 --> 01:05:47,800
WHAT?
1282
01:05:47,833 --> 01:05:48,933
[RING]
1283
01:05:51,733 --> 01:05:54,700
SO, HERE WE ARE,
ALL ALONE.
1284
01:05:54,733 --> 01:05:57,633
RIGHT.
1285
01:05:57,667 --> 01:06:00,633
I HAVE SOMETHING
FOR YOU, DAWSON.
1286
01:06:00,667 --> 01:06:04,067
OH, YEAH?
1287
01:06:04,100 --> 01:06:06,533
I WANT YOU, DAWSON.
1288
01:06:06,567 --> 01:06:08,367
YOU WANT ME
TO WEAR THAT?
1289
01:06:08,400 --> 01:06:10,700
NO. THIS IS FOR ME,
1290
01:06:10,733 --> 01:06:13,067
BUT THIS...
1291
01:06:13,100 --> 01:06:15,400
IS FOR YOU.
1292
01:06:15,433 --> 01:06:18,800
OH.
1293
01:06:18,833 --> 01:06:21,700
WAIT... WAIT...
WAIT A SECOND.
1294
01:06:21,733 --> 01:06:23,300
I THOUGHT YOU WERE
A LESBIAN?
1295
01:06:23,333 --> 01:06:25,533
A LESBIAN?
1296
01:06:25,567 --> 01:06:26,700
WHY?
1297
01:06:26,733 --> 01:06:28,367
HELLO.
1298
01:06:28,400 --> 01:06:30,700
YOU PLAY SOFTBALL.
1299
01:06:30,733 --> 01:06:32,867
YOU WATCH ALLY McBEAL.
1300
01:06:32,900 --> 01:06:35,067
THE WNBA.
1301
01:06:35,100 --> 01:06:37,300
NO, DAWSON,
I'M NOT GAY.
1302
01:06:37,333 --> 01:06:39,367
BARBARA'S GAY.
1303
01:06:39,400 --> 01:06:42,200
BARBARA?
1304
01:06:42,233 --> 01:06:45,033
BIG ROSIE FAN.
1305
01:06:45,067 --> 01:06:47,967
BUT... BUT YOU ARE
A WITCH, RIGHT?
1306
01:06:48,000 --> 01:06:49,133
OH, YEAH, YEAH.
1307
01:06:49,167 --> 01:06:50,900
[CRASH]
WHOA!
1308
01:06:55,933 --> 01:06:56,900
[MEOW]
1309
01:06:56,933 --> 01:06:59,167
LAMEGAG, YOU SCARED
THE CRAP OUT OF US.
1310
01:06:59,200 --> 01:07:00,233
[MEOW]
1311
01:07:00,267 --> 01:07:01,233
WHAT IS IT, BOY?
1312
01:07:01,267 --> 01:07:02,467
[GROWLING]
1313
01:07:02,500 --> 01:07:04,200
I'M SORRY.
1314
01:07:04,233 --> 01:07:05,700
WHAT IS IT, GIRL?
1315
01:07:05,733 --> 01:07:07,233
[MEOW]
1316
01:07:07,267 --> 01:07:09,067
SLAB'S IN TROUBLE?
1317
01:07:09,100 --> 01:07:10,300
STEROIDS?
1318
01:07:10,333 --> 01:07:12,067
IN THE BATHROOM?
1319
01:07:12,100 --> 01:07:13,833
BURT REYNOLDS
WEARS A RUG?
1320
01:07:13,867 --> 01:07:15,033
[MEOW]
1321
01:07:15,067 --> 01:07:16,400
O.J. WAS FRAMED?
[MEOW]
1322
01:07:16,433 --> 01:07:18,967
KHAKIS AREN'T COOL?
1323
01:07:19,000 --> 01:07:20,000
NO, I HAVE
TO DISAGREE WITH YOU.
1324
01:07:20,033 --> 01:07:21,000
I THINK YOU'RE COMPLETELY...
1325
01:07:21,033 --> 01:07:22,033
WELL, FUCK YOU, TOO!
1326
01:07:22,067 --> 01:07:23,033
[MEOW]
1327
01:07:23,067 --> 01:07:24,367
COME ON. LET'S GO.
1328
01:07:29,367 --> 01:07:30,333
SLAB!
1329
01:07:30,367 --> 01:07:31,533
OH, MY GOD.
1330
01:07:34,767 --> 01:07:38,400
I... I THINK I USED
TOO MUCH.
1331
01:07:38,433 --> 01:07:41,133
[MUSIC FROM PSYCHO PLAYS]
1332
01:07:41,167 --> 01:07:42,533
OH.
1333
01:08:02,700 --> 01:08:05,967
OH, THIS IS HORRIBLE.
1334
01:08:06,000 --> 01:08:07,367
I KNOW.
1335
01:08:07,400 --> 01:08:09,767
WHO IS GONNA
CLEAN ALL THIS UP?
1336
01:08:11,900 --> 01:08:12,833
[MEOW]
1337
01:08:15,767 --> 01:08:17,200
DAWSON, NO!
1338
01:08:17,233 --> 01:08:19,567
THERE'S NO POINT
IN BEATING DEAD HORSE.
1339
01:08:21,400 --> 01:08:22,333
[RUSTLING SOUNDS]
1340
01:08:28,733 --> 01:08:30,533
OK...
1341
01:08:30,567 --> 01:08:33,733
DAWSON, I'M GOING TO...
1342
01:08:33,767 --> 01:08:35,367
DAWSON?
1343
01:08:35,400 --> 01:08:36,567
DAWSON!
1344
01:08:36,600 --> 01:08:39,133
I WAS JUST
CHECKING FOR CLUES.
1345
01:08:39,167 --> 01:08:40,567
COULD YOU...
1346
01:08:49,367 --> 01:08:52,400
MMM, BEEFY!
1347
01:08:56,933 --> 01:08:57,900
YOU'RE TOO LATE.
1348
01:09:12,033 --> 01:09:14,700
♪ CAROLINE LAUGHS,
AND IT'S RAINING ALL DAY ♪
1349
01:09:14,733 --> 01:09:18,200
♪ SHE LOVES TO BE
ONE OF THE GIRLS ♪
1350
01:09:18,233 --> 01:09:20,700
♪ LIVES IN THE PLACE
INSIDE OF OUR LIVES ♪
1351
01:09:20,733 --> 01:09:24,033
♪ WHERE NOTHING
IS EVER PUT STRAIGHT ♪
1352
01:09:24,067 --> 01:09:27,367
♪ SHE TURNS HERSELF AROUND,
AND SHE SAYS ♪
1353
01:09:27,400 --> 01:09:30,033
♪ "THIS IS IT,
THAT'S THE END OF THE JOKE," ♪
1354
01:09:30,067 --> 01:09:33,367
♪ LOSES HERSELF
IN HER DREAMING AND SLEEP ♪
1355
01:09:33,400 --> 01:09:36,067
♪ AND HER LOVERS WALK THROUGH
IN THEIR COATS ♪
1356
01:09:36,100 --> 01:09:37,100
♪ SHE'S ♪
1357
01:09:38,733 --> 01:09:41,133
♪ PRETTY IN PINK ♪
1358
01:09:41,167 --> 01:09:44,833
♪ ISN'T SHE ♪
1359
01:09:44,867 --> 01:09:47,900
♪ PRETTY IN PINK? ♪
1360
01:09:47,933 --> 01:09:49,700
♪ ISN'T SHE? ♪
1361
01:09:49,733 --> 01:09:52,167
♪ ALL OF HER LOVERS
ALL TALK OF HER NOTES ♪
1362
01:09:52,200 --> 01:09:55,533
♪ AND THE FLOWERS
THAT THEY NEVER SENT ♪
1363
01:09:55,567 --> 01:09:58,933
♪ AND WASN'T SHE EASY? ♪
1364
01:10:00,433 --> 01:10:03,567
♪ ISN'T SHE
PRETTY IN PINK? ♪
1365
01:10:03,600 --> 01:10:06,300
♪ THE ONE WHO INSISTS
HE WAS FIRST IN THE LINE ♪
1366
01:10:06,333 --> 01:10:09,700
♪ IS THE LAST
TO REMEMBER HER NAME... ♪
1367
01:10:09,733 --> 01:10:12,200
WHOA!
1368
01:10:12,233 --> 01:10:13,367
[CLOTH RIPS]
1369
01:10:13,400 --> 01:10:16,033
♪ SHE'S GONE,
BUT THE JOKE'S THE SAME ♪
1370
01:10:16,067 --> 01:10:19,067
♪ PRETTY IN PINK ♪
1371
01:10:19,100 --> 01:10:21,533
♪ ISN'T HE? ♪
1372
01:10:21,567 --> 01:10:25,367
♪ PRETTY IN PINK ♪
1373
01:10:25,400 --> 01:10:27,167
♪ ISN'T HE? ♪
1374
01:10:33,233 --> 01:10:35,833
♪ CAROLINE TALKS
TO YOU SOFTLY SOMETIMES ♪
1375
01:10:35,867 --> 01:10:38,533
♪ SHE SAYS "I LOVE YOU"
AND "TOO MUCH" ♪
1376
01:10:38,567 --> 01:10:42,800
♪ SHE DOESN'T HAVE ANYTHING
YOU WANT TO STEAL ♪
1377
01:10:42,833 --> 01:10:45,900
♪ WELL, NOTHING
YOU CAN TOUCH ♪
1378
01:10:47,000 --> 01:10:48,967
♪ SHE WAVES ♪
1379
01:10:49,000 --> 01:10:50,067
♪ SHE BUTTONS YOUR SHIRT ♪
1380
01:10:50,100 --> 01:10:52,700
♪ THE TRAFFIC IS WAITING OUTSIDE ♪
1381
01:10:52,733 --> 01:10:54,067
♪ SHE HANDS YOU THIS COAT ♪
1382
01:10:54,100 --> 01:10:58,400
♪ SHE GIVES YOU HER CLOTHES,
THE CARS COLLIDE ♪
1383
01:11:16,667 --> 01:11:18,333
[APPLAUSE]
1384
01:11:25,500 --> 01:11:27,333
ALL RIGHT.
1385
01:11:29,900 --> 01:11:31,833
ALL RIGHT, PEPPERONI BOY,
LET'S SEE 'EM.
1386
01:11:42,900 --> 01:11:44,167
WE MADE IT.
1387
01:11:46,267 --> 01:11:47,467
OH!
1388
01:11:47,500 --> 01:11:49,300
[MUSIC FROM PSYCHO PLAYS]
1389
01:11:49,333 --> 01:11:50,700
OH!
OH!
1390
01:11:56,433 --> 01:11:59,333
NO, HOLD ON.
I'LL TAKE CARE OF THIS.
1391
01:11:59,367 --> 01:12:01,633
YOU MEAN, BIG BULLY.
1392
01:12:01,667 --> 01:12:03,300
BAD, BAD, BAD KILLER.
1393
01:12:03,333 --> 01:12:04,733
I'M GONNA
SCRATCH YOUR EYES OUT,
1394
01:12:04,767 --> 01:12:06,867
YOU BAD BULLY...
OH, BOY!
1395
01:12:10,367 --> 01:12:11,533
WHOA.
1396
01:12:11,567 --> 01:12:13,067
HAHH!
1397
01:12:13,100 --> 01:12:14,600
[CLANG]
1398
01:12:17,933 --> 01:12:18,900
[CLANK CLANK CLANK]
1399
01:12:18,933 --> 01:12:21,167
YEAH.
1400
01:12:31,333 --> 01:12:33,400
ALL RIGHT! YEAH!
1401
01:12:33,433 --> 01:12:34,833
KICK HIS ASS!
1402
01:12:34,867 --> 01:12:36,733
OH!
1403
01:12:36,767 --> 01:12:37,900
OH!
1404
01:12:37,933 --> 01:12:38,900
OH!
1405
01:12:38,933 --> 01:12:41,833
JERRY! JERRY!
JERRY! JERRY!
1406
01:12:47,600 --> 01:12:50,067
ARE YOU SURE
YOU'RE NOT A LESBIAN?
1407
01:12:50,100 --> 01:12:52,867
WELL, ONCE AT CAMP.
1408
01:12:52,900 --> 01:12:54,533
COOL.
1409
01:12:54,567 --> 01:12:56,833
LET'S FIND OUT
WHO THIS ASSHOLE IS.
1410
01:13:01,200 --> 01:13:03,700
[GASPS]
[GASPS]
1411
01:13:03,733 --> 01:13:07,133
[GASPS]
[GASPS]
1412
01:13:07,167 --> 01:13:08,500
[GASPS]
[GASPS]
1413
01:13:08,533 --> 01:13:10,067
WHO IS THAT?
1414
01:13:10,100 --> 01:13:11,700
ABE LINCOLN.
1415
01:13:11,733 --> 01:13:12,933
OHH. ABE!
1416
01:13:18,700 --> 01:13:20,567
OK, COME ON, NOW.
TAKE 'EM OFF.
1417
01:13:20,600 --> 01:13:22,833
BUT THEY'RE
COMPANY PROPERTY.
1418
01:13:32,067 --> 01:13:33,100
NICE.
1419
01:13:39,067 --> 01:13:40,833
[GASPS]
[GASPS]
1420
01:13:41,900 --> 01:13:42,867
[GASPS]
[GASPS]
1421
01:13:42,900 --> 01:13:45,567
SHH. DID YOU
HEAR THAT?
1422
01:13:45,600 --> 01:13:46,900
OH, EXCUSE ME.
1423
01:13:46,933 --> 01:13:49,400
NO, NOT THAT.
1424
01:13:49,433 --> 01:13:50,533
[GASPS]
[GASPS]
1425
01:13:50,567 --> 01:13:52,167
LET'S ROLL.
1426
01:14:02,933 --> 01:14:04,533
HEY, WIDELOAD,
1427
01:14:04,567 --> 01:14:07,200
YOU AND PIZZA DORK
GOTTA HOOF IT.
1428
01:14:07,233 --> 01:14:09,033
GET OFF!
1429
01:14:12,267 --> 01:14:13,267
WE'RE GOING IN.
1430
01:14:14,733 --> 01:14:15,700
COME ON.
1431
01:14:26,900 --> 01:14:30,033
HEY, I THINK
THIS IS THE LAST ONE.
1432
01:14:32,567 --> 01:14:34,333
HUH? YOU!
1433
01:14:34,367 --> 01:14:35,533
WHO WERE YOU EXPECTING,
1434
01:14:35,567 --> 01:14:36,867
BILLY LOOMIS' MOTHER?
1435
01:14:36,900 --> 01:14:38,967
OF COURSE.
RULE NUMBER 101,
1436
01:14:39,000 --> 01:14:41,200
YOU CAN'T HAVE
A SUCCESSFUL PARODY
1437
01:14:41,233 --> 01:14:43,033
WITHOUT MOCKING
CONTRIVED,
1438
01:14:43,067 --> 01:14:44,967
CONFUSING ENDINGS.
1439
01:14:45,000 --> 01:14:47,067
BUT WHY, DOUGHY?
1440
01:14:47,100 --> 01:14:49,200
I'M NOT DOUGHY,
DUMB-ASS.
1441
01:14:49,233 --> 01:14:51,633
OK, THAT'S
NOT EVEN REAL.
1442
01:14:51,667 --> 01:14:53,333
BUT IT IS DASTARDLY.
1443
01:14:53,367 --> 01:14:54,867
SO IF YOU'RE
NOT DOUGHY,
1444
01:14:54,900 --> 01:14:57,033
THAT MAKES YOU...
1445
01:14:57,067 --> 01:14:58,767
YES.
1446
01:14:58,800 --> 01:15:02,167
DOUGHY'S EVIL TWIN,
COUSIN HARDING.
1447
01:15:02,200 --> 01:15:04,833
WOW, GOOD TWIST.
1448
01:15:04,867 --> 01:15:07,800
SO WHAT'S YOUR MOTIVE?
1449
01:15:07,833 --> 01:15:10,500
IN THE MILLENNIUM,
MOTIVES ARE ACCIDENTAL.
1450
01:15:10,533 --> 01:15:12,500
UM, DO YOU MEAN
INCIDENTAL?
1451
01:15:12,533 --> 01:15:14,800
I SHOULD HAVE
KILLED YOU FIRST.
1452
01:15:14,833 --> 01:15:16,867
HEY... DON'T... HEY... NOW!
1453
01:15:16,900 --> 01:15:19,067
SO I SUPPOSE THIS
IS WHAT YOU USE
1454
01:15:19,100 --> 01:15:20,200
TO DISGUISE YOUR VOICE?
1455
01:15:20,233 --> 01:15:22,567
HELLO, SYDNEY!
1456
01:15:22,600 --> 01:15:24,400
NO, I MEAN THIS.
1457
01:15:29,333 --> 01:15:31,300
[KILLER VOICE]
HELLO, MARTINA.
1458
01:15:31,333 --> 01:15:33,667
WHAT'S YOUR
FAVORITE MOVIE?
1459
01:15:33,700 --> 01:15:35,833
I AM YOUR FATHER, LUKE.
1460
01:15:35,867 --> 01:15:37,667
FREEZE!
1461
01:15:37,700 --> 01:15:39,400
DON'T SHOOT.
I GIVE UP.
1462
01:15:41,033 --> 01:15:42,000
HARDING?
1463
01:15:42,033 --> 01:15:43,800
YO, DOUGH.
1464
01:15:43,833 --> 01:15:46,800
DOUGHY, WHAT'S...
WHAT'S GOING ON?
1465
01:15:46,833 --> 01:15:47,800
THEY'RE IDENTICAL.
1466
01:15:47,833 --> 01:15:50,467
YEAH, ONE GOOD,
ONE EVIL.
1467
01:15:50,500 --> 01:15:51,533
WOW.
1468
01:15:51,567 --> 01:15:53,167
JUST LIKE
THE OLSENS, HUH?
1469
01:15:53,200 --> 01:15:55,867
EXCEPT WHERE AS HARDING
ENJOYS A MINUET,
1470
01:15:55,900 --> 01:15:58,200
THE BALLET RUSSES
AND CREPE SUZETTE...
1471
01:15:58,233 --> 01:15:59,567
DOUGHY LIKES
TO ROCK AND ROLL.
1472
01:15:59,600 --> 01:16:01,200
A HOT DOG MAKES HIM
LOSE CONTROL.
1473
01:16:01,233 --> 01:16:02,367
WHAT A WILD DUET.
1474
01:16:02,400 --> 01:16:03,700
STILL THEY'RE COUSINS...
1475
01:16:03,733 --> 01:16:04,700
IDENTICAL COUSINS.
1476
01:16:04,733 --> 01:16:05,700
THEY LAUGH ALIKE.
1477
01:16:05,733 --> 01:16:06,700
THEY WALK ALIKE.
1478
01:16:06,733 --> 01:16:07,700
AT TIMES THEY EVEN
TALK ALIKE.
1479
01:16:07,733 --> 01:16:08,833
AND YOU COULD
LOSE YOUR MIND.
1480
01:16:08,867 --> 01:16:10,133
SHUT UP, EVERYBODY!
1481
01:16:10,167 --> 01:16:11,700
FOR GOD'S SAKES,
HOW MANY TIMES
1482
01:16:11,733 --> 01:16:13,533
DO YOU THINK WE'VE HEARD
THAT IN OUR LIVES, HUH?
1483
01:16:13,567 --> 01:16:15,033
A LITTLE RESPECT!
1484
01:16:15,067 --> 01:16:16,400
HARDING! YOU'RE A DISGRACE
1485
01:16:16,433 --> 01:16:18,300
AND AN EMBARRASSMENT
TO OUR FAMILY.
1486
01:16:18,333 --> 01:16:21,533
BECAUSE OF THE STAIN
ON GRANDMA'S DRESS?
1487
01:16:21,567 --> 01:16:23,067
NO.
1488
01:16:25,233 --> 01:16:28,000
OH, THAT. YEAH.
1489
01:16:28,033 --> 01:16:30,167
LISTEN, UM...
1490
01:16:30,200 --> 01:16:31,667
I'M REALLY SORRY.
1491
01:16:31,700 --> 01:16:33,733
IS THERE ANY WAY I CAN
MAKE IT UP TO YOU, DOUGHY?
1492
01:16:33,767 --> 01:16:34,967
WELL, FIRST OF ALL,
1493
01:16:35,000 --> 01:16:36,400
YOU CAN TAKE
THAT COSTUME BACK
1494
01:16:36,433 --> 01:16:38,000
TO ITS RIGHTFUL OWNERS
AT THE MALL.
1495
01:16:38,033 --> 01:16:40,333
I... I DON'T HAVE
THE RECEIPT.
1496
01:16:40,367 --> 01:16:42,533
I'LL MAKE SOME CALLS,
1497
01:16:42,567 --> 01:16:46,033
BUT DON'T FORGET ABOUT
THAT FAKE DOG SHIT.
1498
01:16:46,067 --> 01:16:47,500
I DIDN'T
TAKE ANY DOG SHIT.
1499
01:16:47,533 --> 01:16:49,067
HUH?
1500
01:16:52,233 --> 01:16:53,600
HMM.
1501
01:17:03,100 --> 01:17:04,067
ALL RIGHT,
YOU KNUCKLEHEAD,
1502
01:17:04,100 --> 01:17:05,067
GIVE ME A HUG.
1503
01:17:05,100 --> 01:17:06,233
[GUNSHOT]
1504
01:17:08,333 --> 01:17:10,233
OW.
1505
01:17:12,100 --> 01:17:14,033
NICE SHOT.
1506
01:17:14,067 --> 01:17:15,233
HUH?
1507
01:17:15,267 --> 01:17:16,233
OOH!
1508
01:17:17,900 --> 01:17:19,233
[MOANING]
1509
01:17:19,267 --> 01:17:20,867
OOPS!
1510
01:17:20,900 --> 01:17:22,867
YOU GUYS ALL SAW THAT.
1511
01:17:22,900 --> 01:17:24,567
I MEAN, THAT WAS
JUST AN ACCIDENT.
1512
01:17:24,600 --> 01:17:26,533
YEAH, YEAH, IT HAPPENS.
1513
01:17:26,567 --> 01:17:27,800
UGH,
1514
01:17:27,833 --> 01:17:30,633
I REALLY NEED
TO GET A NEW SHADE.
1515
01:17:30,667 --> 01:17:32,067
HERE, TRY MINE.
1516
01:17:32,100 --> 01:17:33,533
OH!
1517
01:17:33,567 --> 01:17:35,033
PERFECT.
1518
01:17:35,067 --> 01:17:36,200
WELL,
I'VE GOT MY SCOOP.
1519
01:17:36,233 --> 01:17:37,200
SEE YOU, DOUGHY.
1520
01:17:37,233 --> 01:17:39,200
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.
WAIT A MINUTE.
1521
01:17:39,233 --> 01:17:41,033
WHAT ABOUT DINNER
AT THE WIENER PUP?
1522
01:17:41,067 --> 01:17:43,067
OR MAYBE A SNACK
AT THE PRETZEL SHACK?
1523
01:17:43,100 --> 01:17:44,067
DID YOU BRING YOUR BIKE?
1524
01:17:44,100 --> 01:17:45,567
MM-HMM.
OK.
1525
01:17:47,933 --> 01:17:49,500
WHAT ABOUT US?!
1526
01:17:56,567 --> 01:17:59,133
PIZZA GUYS
GET ALL THE PUSSY.
1527
01:18:02,267 --> 01:18:03,233
DON'T WORRY, DOUGHY.
1528
01:18:03,267 --> 01:18:04,733
WE GOT IT ALL
UNDER CONTROL.
1529
01:18:04,767 --> 01:18:07,533
YEAH, EXCEPT FOR
ALL THOSE DEAD PEOPLE.
1530
01:18:07,567 --> 01:18:08,633
[SIRENS GROWING LOUDER]
1531
01:18:08,667 --> 01:18:10,433
YEAH, WELL...
1532
01:18:12,567 --> 01:18:14,867
LET'S GO, KIDS.
1533
01:18:16,867 --> 01:18:17,833
ALL RIGHT, GUYS.
1534
01:18:17,867 --> 01:18:19,533
BAG 'EM. TAG 'EM.
WE'LL WRAP THIS UP.
1535
01:18:19,567 --> 01:18:20,700
WE'LL TAKE IT
FROM HERE.
1536
01:18:20,733 --> 01:18:21,700
GET IN THERE.
1537
01:18:21,733 --> 01:18:22,700
COVER ME.
1538
01:18:22,733 --> 01:18:23,833
ALL RIGHT.
I'VE GOT YOUR BACK.
1539
01:18:26,900 --> 01:18:28,233
HERE WE GO.
1540
01:18:28,267 --> 01:18:29,567
HEY, NICE BUNS.
1541
01:18:31,900 --> 01:18:33,567
WHOA!
1542
01:18:33,600 --> 01:18:36,067
WOW, DOUGHY,
TWIN COUSINS.
1543
01:18:36,100 --> 01:18:38,033
YEAH, THE RESEMBLANCE
WAS REMARKABLE.
1544
01:18:38,067 --> 01:18:39,867
I KNOW. PEOPLE SAY
WE LOOK LIKE TOM CRUISE.
1545
01:18:39,900 --> 01:18:42,233
HEY, CATERING.
1546
01:18:48,200 --> 01:18:51,033
MARTINA. DAWSON.
1547
01:18:51,067 --> 01:18:53,067
BONER, YOU'RE ALIVE!
1548
01:18:53,100 --> 01:18:55,400
GOD BLESS VIAGRA.
1549
01:18:55,433 --> 01:18:57,467
IT SAVED MY LIFE.
1550
01:18:57,500 --> 01:18:58,700
I ATE A WHOLE BOTTLE,
1551
01:18:58,733 --> 01:18:59,933
AND WHEN I HAD
MY HEART ATTACK,
1552
01:18:59,967 --> 01:19:03,333
THE BLOOD KEPT
PUMPING ANYWAY.
1553
01:19:03,367 --> 01:19:06,533
I CAN TAKE THIS
FROM HERE.
1554
01:19:09,900 --> 01:19:11,900
YES!
1555
01:19:17,933 --> 01:19:21,300
WE ARE SO LUCKY
WE SURVIVED.
1556
01:19:21,333 --> 01:19:23,500
NOW WE CAN
BE TOGETHER FOREVER.
1557
01:19:23,533 --> 01:19:25,767
WELL, AT LEAST
UNTIL THE SEQUEL.
1558
01:19:29,900 --> 01:19:31,233
AREN'T YOU GAY?
1559
01:19:41,033 --> 01:19:42,200
COFFEE!
1560
01:19:43,900 --> 01:19:45,867
NOT ON MY WATCH, PUNK.
1561
01:19:53,767 --> 01:19:55,500
WELL, THAT ABOUT DOES IT.
1562
01:19:55,533 --> 01:19:56,867
I KILLED MY COUSIN...
1563
01:19:56,900 --> 01:19:57,867
MY HEART'S BROKEN...
1564
01:19:57,900 --> 01:20:00,300
MY SISTER'S DEAD.
1565
01:20:00,333 --> 01:20:03,467
DAMN IT, I LOVE THIS JOB.
1566
01:20:03,500 --> 01:20:06,733
OH, WELL, NOW
WE'RE SAFE, THANK GOD.
1567
01:20:06,767 --> 01:20:07,967
YEAH.
1568
01:20:08,000 --> 01:20:09,700
DO YOU WANT TO GO FOR A WALK
1569
01:20:09,733 --> 01:20:11,867
IN THE DARK, SCARY WOODS?
1570
01:20:11,900 --> 01:20:13,000
SURE.
1571
01:20:23,767 --> 01:20:25,300
HEY, DAWSON!
1572
01:20:25,333 --> 01:20:26,867
EVERYBODY, I DID IT!
1573
01:20:26,900 --> 01:20:29,233
I'M NOT A VIRGIN
ANYMORE!
1574
01:20:29,267 --> 01:20:31,233
[SIREN]
1575
01:20:31,267 --> 01:20:33,533
[CELL PHONE RINGS]
1576
01:20:33,567 --> 01:20:36,867
[RING]
1577
01:20:36,900 --> 01:20:37,867
Killer:
HELLO, SYDNEY.
1578
01:20:37,900 --> 01:20:39,200
WHAT?
I SAID...
1579
01:20:39,233 --> 01:20:40,667
I'M SORRY,
I'M LOSING YOU.
1580
01:20:40,700 --> 01:20:43,533
I SAID, HELLO, SYDNEY.
1581
01:20:43,567 --> 01:20:44,833
YOU'RE BREAKING UP.
1582
01:20:44,867 --> 01:20:46,000
HELLO?
1583
01:20:47,400 --> 01:20:48,367
WHO WAS IT?
1584
01:20:48,400 --> 01:20:49,667
I DON'T KNOW,
1585
01:20:49,700 --> 01:20:50,900
BUT IF IT'S IMPORTANT,
1586
01:20:50,933 --> 01:20:52,733
THEY'LL CALL BACK.
1587
01:20:54,233 --> 01:20:55,867
DARN CELL PHONES!
1588
01:20:55,900 --> 01:20:58,500
RICH, KNOW-IT-ALL TEENAGERS.
1589
01:21:01,233 --> 01:21:02,533
I'VE BEEN UP ALL NIGHT,
1590
01:21:02,567 --> 01:21:04,700
MY BACK HURTS,
AND I'VE GOT TO PEE.
1591
01:21:11,667 --> 01:21:13,900
[IT'S A SCREAM PLAYS]
95674
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