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1
00:00:10,700 --> 00:00:14,700
I just hope it doesn't cause any
permanent damage.
2
00:00:20,100 --> 00:00:24,300
- How long have you been here?
- A while.
3
00:00:26,200 --> 00:00:29,000
- You missed your prom?
- Yeah.
4
00:00:35,000 --> 00:00:38,400
The thing is, when I made that bet...
5
00:00:39,000 --> 00:00:43,100
There he is. It's Freddie.
He's wearing a tux.
6
00:00:43,300 --> 00:00:45,900
- What's up?
- Yes.
7
00:00:46,100 --> 00:00:47,900
I met a whole other
person inside of you.
8
00:00:48,100 --> 00:00:50,500
- Inside both of us.
- Shut up.
9
00:00:50,700 --> 00:00:53,000
I would've never found
that person inside of me...
10
00:00:53,200 --> 00:00:55,400
...if it weren't for the person
inside of you.
11
00:00:55,600 --> 00:00:57,600
That's sweet.
12
00:00:57,800 --> 00:00:59,500
The whole other person
inside of me...
13
00:00:59,700 --> 00:01:03,200
...thinks that the whole other person
inside of you has come a long way.
14
00:01:03,400 --> 00:01:07,200
So would the whole other person
inside of you like to dance?
15
00:01:41,300 --> 00:01:43,000
Yes.
16
00:01:44,100 --> 00:01:46,500
- Morning, sweetie!
- Daddy!
17
00:01:46,900 --> 00:01:49,600
- Why are you in here?
- Why am I in here?
18
00:01:49,900 --> 00:01:51,800
It's her birthday, Dad.
19
00:01:52,000 --> 00:01:54,600
Happy birthday, sweetie.
20
00:01:57,900 --> 00:02:02,100
- What's that buzzing sound?
- I just need a minute here.
21
00:02:02,400 --> 00:02:04,300
Maybe it's that construction.
22
00:02:04,600 --> 00:02:06,800
Where's my little angel?
23
00:02:07,000 --> 00:02:08,600
Happy birthday, honey.
24
00:02:08,800 --> 00:02:11,700
Grandma? Grandpa? Rosco!
25
00:02:15,000 --> 00:02:17,000
Rosco, go.
26
00:02:17,800 --> 00:02:19,900
- Hello.
- Father O'Flannagan?
27
00:02:20,100 --> 00:02:23,200
I brought your special friends
from the centre!
28
00:02:23,400 --> 00:02:26,100
- Happy birthday!
- Janey's making faces.
29
00:02:26,300 --> 00:02:27,900
It smells in here.
30
00:02:28,100 --> 00:02:30,000
Okay, make a wish, dear.
31
00:02:31,000 --> 00:02:32,800
No.
32
00:02:55,900 --> 00:02:58,300
This is not your typical high school.
33
00:02:58,600 --> 00:03:03,200
At John Hughes, there are no cliques,
no exclusive social groups.
34
00:03:03,400 --> 00:03:06,800
You're accepted for you,
not who you hang out with.
35
00:03:07,100 --> 00:03:11,200
We'll divide into groups
so you can get to know your peers.
36
00:03:11,500 --> 00:03:14,700
Let's get all you jocks
in one group...
37
00:03:15,000 --> 00:03:18,500
...and get you slutty girls
over here by me.
38
00:03:18,700 --> 00:03:20,900
Hey, how you doing?
Welcome.
39
00:03:21,200 --> 00:03:24,000
You losers should
hang out in the back.
40
00:03:24,200 --> 00:03:27,700
That clearly includes you.
Come on, get back there.
41
00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:30,700
Take a look at the kid
standing beside you.
42
00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:36,000
They're your only friends
for the next four years.
43
00:03:36,200 --> 00:03:38,500
Okay, let's move it, people!
44
00:03:49,200 --> 00:03:52,800
- You need to start dating.
- I don't date. You know that.
45
00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:54,800
Janey, you know Dad's rule.
46
00:03:55,100 --> 00:03:56,900
I can't have sex before you.
47
00:03:57,200 --> 00:04:00,300
I don't conform to
typical high-school norms.
48
00:04:00,600 --> 00:04:04,900
I read Sylvia Plath,
listen to Bikini Kill and eat tofu.
49
00:04:05,200 --> 00:04:08,600
- I'm a unique rebel.
- More like you're a lesbo.
50
00:04:08,800 --> 00:04:11,200
Mitch, leave your sister alone.
51
00:04:11,500 --> 00:04:12,900
Thank you, Daddy.
52
00:04:13,100 --> 00:04:17,400
If Janey wants to be a rug-muncher,
that's her decision.
53
00:04:19,500 --> 00:04:21,800
Go! Fight! Win!
54
00:04:24,100 --> 00:04:25,700
All right!
55
00:04:27,800 --> 00:04:30,300
Nice combination, Crissy!
56
00:04:35,300 --> 00:04:38,300
I've been meaning to get that fixed.
57
00:04:38,700 --> 00:04:40,300
Later, Dad.
58
00:04:40,800 --> 00:04:42,200
Hey.
59
00:04:42,400 --> 00:04:44,600
I'll be late to pick you up.
60
00:04:44,800 --> 00:04:46,800
Why? A job interview?
61
00:04:47,000 --> 00:04:50,400
No, honey.
I'll probably just be way too drunk.
62
00:04:50,700 --> 00:04:53,200
That's good.
No drinking and driving.
63
00:04:53,400 --> 00:04:57,300
Oh, I'll be driving.
I'll just be too drunk to remember.
64
00:04:57,900 --> 00:05:00,000
Okay. Bye, Daddy.
65
00:05:00,600 --> 00:05:02,300
Bye, pumpkin-head.
66
00:05:08,100 --> 00:05:10,300
- Oh, my God!
- Get out of the road!
67
00:05:28,600 --> 00:05:31,600
Oh, my God, it's Jake.
68
00:05:32,300 --> 00:05:34,900
- Hi, stud.
- Hi, Jake.
69
00:05:35,100 --> 00:05:39,000
- I love that thing with his eyebrows.
- Those sideburns.
70
00:05:39,200 --> 00:05:43,300
Oh, my God, there's Jake.
He's so popular.
71
00:05:43,900 --> 00:05:45,400
He just looked at me.
72
00:05:45,600 --> 00:05:48,300
- Here. You can keep it.
- Tiff.
73
00:05:48,500 --> 00:05:51,200
Hi, Jake. It's all wet.
74
00:05:51,600 --> 00:05:53,200
Melanie.
75
00:05:53,400 --> 00:05:55,500
Hey, Jake.
76
00:05:55,700 --> 00:05:57,900
Hey, Arthur.
77
00:06:05,700 --> 00:06:08,700
Here's Ricky!
78
00:06:09,000 --> 00:06:11,000
Hey, Ricky.
How was your weekend?
79
00:06:12,000 --> 00:06:15,800
Friday night I stood
outside your window in the rain...
80
00:06:16,100 --> 00:06:17,600
...screaming your name.
81
00:06:18,300 --> 00:06:22,000
Then I spent Saturday and Sunday
making you this great...
82
00:06:22,200 --> 00:06:26,500
...I've-been-desperately-trying-
to-tell-you-that...
83
00:06:26,700 --> 00:06:29,000
...I'm-madly-in-love-with-you...
84
00:06:29,200 --> 00:06:31,300
...mix tape for your birthday.
85
00:06:31,500 --> 00:06:34,800
A mix tape?
That's so sweet, Ricky.
86
00:06:36,300 --> 00:06:38,300
See you in English.
87
00:06:41,400 --> 00:06:43,500
Catch you guy later.
88
00:06:46,300 --> 00:06:48,200
What happening?
89
00:06:48,400 --> 00:06:51,900
Damn, Shorty, Dog is pretending
to be Asian and shit.
90
00:06:52,100 --> 00:06:56,900
That cracker is white!
Can't he see that, yo?
91
00:06:57,100 --> 00:06:59,800
Did you get any action this weekend?
92
00:07:00,100 --> 00:07:03,600
- I visit grandfather.
- I played with my sisters.
93
00:07:03,900 --> 00:07:05,200
We're pathetic.
94
00:07:05,400 --> 00:07:09,100
How will we ever lose our virginity
by graduation?
95
00:07:09,400 --> 00:07:12,000
- We're freshmen.
- What's with the attitude?
96
00:07:12,300 --> 00:07:15,900
- Not easy to get lucky here.
- Girls are sensitive.
97
00:07:16,100 --> 00:07:20,200
They're not looking for sex.
They're looking for love.
98
00:07:20,500 --> 00:07:22,900
Fuck me! Harder!
99
00:07:30,000 --> 00:07:32,200
Amanda Becker.
100
00:07:33,000 --> 00:07:36,600
She is so perfect.
101
00:07:46,500 --> 00:07:47,800
Keep dreaming.
102
00:07:48,600 --> 00:07:50,400
What's up, Reggie Ray?
103
00:07:50,600 --> 00:07:53,200
I can't wait until Friday's game.
104
00:07:53,400 --> 00:07:57,400
What about your head? You have
a blood clot the size of a grapefruit.
105
00:07:57,600 --> 00:08:01,600
Five more concussions and you'll die.
You should take it easy.
106
00:08:02,200 --> 00:08:05,400
- Don't listen to him.
- Austin.
107
00:08:05,700 --> 00:08:10,400
Mr. Not-First-String-Anymore
isn't first-string anymore.
108
00:08:12,400 --> 00:08:15,200
We know what happened last time
Jake called the plays.
109
00:08:15,400 --> 00:08:18,300
And now, our hometown hero...
110
00:08:18,500 --> 00:08:22,100
...first-string quarterback,
Jake Wyler!
111
00:08:22,300 --> 00:08:25,800
Malik, could you hold these books?
112
00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:28,800
Sure. Why not?
I am the token black guy.
113
00:08:29,000 --> 00:08:31,400
I smile, stay out of
the conversation...
114
00:08:31,600 --> 00:08:37,100
...and say things like, " Damn,"
"Shit," and, "That is wack!"
115
00:08:53,800 --> 00:08:57,600
What's she doing here?
She graduated four years ago.
116
00:08:59,300 --> 00:09:01,300
- Hi, Jake.
- Catherine.
117
00:09:01,500 --> 00:09:03,100
Can I ask you a question?
118
00:09:03,300 --> 00:09:06,600
Why is it when I tell a guy
to put it anywhere...
119
00:09:06,800 --> 00:09:09,800
- ...they always stick it in my ass?
- Damn!
120
00:09:10,100 --> 00:09:12,100
Way too much information.
121
00:09:12,400 --> 00:09:16,700
Oh, no. Too much information
would be telling you...
122
00:09:17,000 --> 00:09:19,900
...that after they're done
I take a huge dump.
123
00:09:20,200 --> 00:09:22,100
Shit!
124
00:09:23,700 --> 00:09:25,000
On their chest.
125
00:09:25,400 --> 00:09:27,800
Oh, that is wack!
126
00:09:43,400 --> 00:09:46,600
Why do hot girls always walk
in slow motion?
127
00:09:52,900 --> 00:09:55,200
Priscilla, there you are.
128
00:09:55,400 --> 00:09:59,000
Jake, I need some
T-to-the-fourth-power-Y.
129
00:10:00,300 --> 00:10:03,200
Some time to talk to you.
130
00:10:05,400 --> 00:10:07,500
God.
131
00:10:08,200 --> 00:10:11,100
It made sense to me, Priscilla.
132
00:10:22,600 --> 00:10:24,900
You're leaving me for this guy?
133
00:10:25,200 --> 00:10:28,800
I'm sorry, Jake.
We met over spring break.
134
00:10:32,100 --> 00:10:34,800
I'm not ordinary.
135
00:10:35,000 --> 00:10:37,500
You're leaving me for this guy?
136
00:10:37,700 --> 00:10:39,700
His name is Les...
137
00:10:39,900 --> 00:10:44,500
...and he's the most beautiful thing
I've ever seen.
138
00:10:46,400 --> 00:10:48,200
And so is his bag.
139
00:11:18,500 --> 00:11:23,500
Janey Briggs,
please report to the office.
140
00:11:26,700 --> 00:11:29,700
Being a foreign-exchange student
is scary...
141
00:11:29,900 --> 00:11:32,600
...adjusting to a new school,
a new country.
142
00:11:32,900 --> 00:11:36,500
But you'll find that the students
are very accepting.
143
00:11:41,300 --> 00:11:43,700
You have a sunny disposition.
144
00:11:56,500 --> 00:11:59,000
Well, isn't that wonderful?
145
00:11:59,200 --> 00:12:00,500
Janey, come in.
146
00:12:00,800 --> 00:12:04,200
This is Areola,
our foreign-exchange student.
147
00:12:04,400 --> 00:12:07,300
Janey will show you
to your first class.
148
00:12:08,400 --> 00:12:10,000
Hi.
149
00:12:15,900 --> 00:12:18,800
- I like your backpack.
- Grazie.
150
00:12:23,000 --> 00:12:27,700
Dude, I heard there's an undercover
reporter posing as a student.
151
00:12:27,900 --> 00:12:29,900
Dude, no way, dude.
152
00:12:30,200 --> 00:12:33,800
Do you know where
Mr. Keller's English class is?
153
00:12:34,000 --> 00:12:37,400
- Down the hall, on your left.
- Sweet, dude.
154
00:12:38,100 --> 00:12:42,000
For the thousandth time, I said,
"Swallow that thing."
155
00:12:42,200 --> 00:12:44,000
Am I right?
156
00:12:47,900 --> 00:12:51,500
How could Priscilla dump me,
Jake Wyler?
157
00:12:51,800 --> 00:12:53,700
Who does she think she is?
158
00:12:54,000 --> 00:12:56,200
I got two words for you, Jake:
159
00:12:56,500 --> 00:13:00,000
Prom queen, material.
160
00:13:00,800 --> 00:13:03,100
Austin, she's an illusion.
161
00:13:03,300 --> 00:13:06,600
You take away the makeup,
the clothes...
162
00:13:06,800 --> 00:13:10,700
...the way she wears her hair,
the smell of her perfume...
163
00:13:10,900 --> 00:13:15,000
...that cute face she makes
when she's tonguing my balls...
164
00:13:16,900 --> 00:13:18,700
Look, she's replaceable.
165
00:13:18,900 --> 00:13:22,100
Given the right look,
the right boyfriend...
166
00:13:22,300 --> 00:13:25,700
- ...any girl could be prom queen.
- I smell a bet.
167
00:13:26,000 --> 00:13:28,600
Jakey, Jakey,
about to make a big...
168
00:13:28,900 --> 00:13:31,000
...mistakey.
169
00:13:31,200 --> 00:13:34,700
Here's the wager: I'll pick the most
hopeless girl at this school...
170
00:13:34,900 --> 00:13:38,300
...and I'll bet that you
can't turn her into prom queen.
171
00:13:38,500 --> 00:13:40,400
You're on, Austin.
172
00:13:40,600 --> 00:13:42,500
I'll bet you lose that bet...
173
00:13:42,700 --> 00:13:46,300
...but learn a much more
valuable lesson and win.
174
00:13:46,500 --> 00:13:48,400
In life, that is.
175
00:13:49,200 --> 00:13:50,900
You're both on.
176
00:13:51,100 --> 00:13:52,500
All right.
177
00:13:52,700 --> 00:13:57,300
Let's find you a prom queen,
Mr. Let's-Find-Me-A-Prom-Queen.
178
00:13:58,000 --> 00:14:01,800
So, Areola, I noticed
your accent keeps changing.
179
00:14:02,100 --> 00:14:03,400
Where are you from?
180
00:14:03,600 --> 00:14:04,900
I cannot tell you that...
181
00:14:05,100 --> 00:14:07,600
...because I am a generic
foreign-exchange student...
182
00:14:07,800 --> 00:14:10,500
...whose country of origin
is of little importance.
183
00:14:11,500 --> 00:14:13,100
Well, have fun in chemistry.
184
00:14:13,300 --> 00:14:16,100
Rightio, love. See you at teatime.
185
00:14:20,400 --> 00:14:21,700
What about her?
186
00:14:21,900 --> 00:14:24,100
Baby's got back.
Hunch, that is.
187
00:14:24,300 --> 00:14:27,300
No, way too easy.
188
00:14:27,500 --> 00:14:31,600
- I have no pigment
- Any girl with a guitar is hot.
189
00:14:31,800 --> 00:14:33,400
I need sunscreen
190
00:14:33,600 --> 00:14:36,800
Even a hippie albino.
She could be prom queen.
191
00:14:37,100 --> 00:14:39,200
What about the Fratelli sisters?
192
00:14:40,200 --> 00:14:43,000
So they're slightly disfigured
and connected.
193
00:14:43,200 --> 00:14:47,300
But combined, those two make up
one pretty decent chick.
194
00:14:47,500 --> 00:14:49,700
- I'd do them!
- I know, Reggie Ray.
195
00:14:49,900 --> 00:14:53,200
I'm looking for somebody
really messed up.
196
00:14:53,400 --> 00:14:57,200
I'm talking about a real shitbomb.
197
00:15:00,700 --> 00:15:04,200
Well, bombs away.
198
00:15:04,800 --> 00:15:09,300
No, no, no, anyone but her!
Not Janey Briggs.
199
00:15:10,000 --> 00:15:13,100
Guys, she's got glasses
and a ponytail.
200
00:15:13,300 --> 00:15:17,100
She's got paint on her overalls!
What is that?
201
00:15:17,300 --> 00:15:20,200
There's no way
she could be prom queen.
202
00:15:20,400 --> 00:15:22,900
Damn, that shit's wack.
203
00:15:24,300 --> 00:15:25,900
Aim for the head!
204
00:15:40,700 --> 00:15:43,400
Can you imagine
what they do in there?
205
00:15:43,600 --> 00:15:45,100
Holy cow.
206
00:15:45,300 --> 00:15:48,600
Guys, get your heads
out of the gutter.
207
00:15:48,900 --> 00:15:51,900
It's a locker room.
It's no sexier in there...
208
00:15:52,100 --> 00:15:53,800
...than it is in here.
209
00:15:54,000 --> 00:15:57,600
Molly, can you help me
take off my panties?
210
00:15:58,100 --> 00:16:01,100
Hold on, I've got lotion
on my hands.
211
00:16:01,300 --> 00:16:04,400
That's okay.
You can just use your mouth.
212
00:16:12,600 --> 00:16:14,100
Thanks, Miss Peters.
213
00:16:14,500 --> 00:16:15,800
So...
214
00:16:16,100 --> 00:16:19,900
...who would like to share their poem
with the class?
215
00:16:22,200 --> 00:16:25,300
Mr. Keller? Over here.
Right here. Please.
216
00:16:25,500 --> 00:16:27,500
- Anyone?
- Mr. Keller!
217
00:16:28,900 --> 00:16:33,100
- I'm not sure we should be doing this.
- Quiet. I hear them.
218
00:16:33,300 --> 00:16:36,500
Hey, I found a buffalo nickel!
219
00:16:41,700 --> 00:16:43,100
This is gonna be good.
220
00:16:43,800 --> 00:16:45,500
I think I see nipple.
221
00:16:45,700 --> 00:16:48,000
You think we should let them know
we're up here?
222
00:16:48,200 --> 00:16:50,700
Hey, Molly, the hot water's
not working on my shower.
223
00:16:50,900 --> 00:16:53,500
- Mind if I share yours?
- Not at all, Christy.
224
00:16:53,700 --> 00:16:55,700
But we're gonna have
to get real close.
225
00:16:55,900 --> 00:17:00,200
Okay. How about I press
up against your back?
226
00:17:01,400 --> 00:17:05,200
Man, it is hot in here.
227
00:17:06,600 --> 00:17:09,000
I gotta take off my shirt.
228
00:17:09,900 --> 00:17:11,200
What?
229
00:17:11,800 --> 00:17:13,400
Doesn't even have to rhyme.
230
00:17:14,300 --> 00:17:17,200
Doesn't even have to be a poem.
231
00:17:17,400 --> 00:17:20,100
- Please pick me. I'm the one.
- Yes...
232
00:17:20,600 --> 00:17:22,100
...Ricky.
233
00:17:30,700 --> 00:17:34,300
- "Ten Things I Love About Janey."
- Oh, not again.
234
00:17:34,500 --> 00:17:35,900
By Ricky Lipman.
235
00:17:37,200 --> 00:17:42,000
I love it when Janey talks
I love it when Janey walks
236
00:17:42,200 --> 00:17:46,400
I love it when Janey drinks
I love it when Janey blinks
237
00:17:46,900 --> 00:17:49,500
I love it when Janey says hi
238
00:17:49,700 --> 00:17:53,600
I love it when Janey says
"See you in English"
239
00:17:57,300 --> 00:18:00,700
I love sitting next to Janey in class
240
00:18:00,900 --> 00:18:06,800
I love staring into Janey's window
At 1465 South Pass
241
00:18:07,900 --> 00:18:10,900
I love following Janey to the mall
242
00:18:14,400 --> 00:18:16,000
And I love
243
00:18:16,200 --> 00:18:20,700
Collecting strands of Janey's hair
244
00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:27,000
And rolling them up
Into little Janey hairballs
245
00:18:38,100 --> 00:18:43,100
Thank you, Ricky,
for that interesting poem.
246
00:18:43,900 --> 00:18:47,300
I can't believe
what we just did, Molly.
247
00:18:47,500 --> 00:18:53,300
It was a once-in-a-lifetime experience
that will never happen again.
248
00:18:53,500 --> 00:18:54,900
I don't know about you guys...
249
00:18:55,100 --> 00:18:58,400
...but I am really proud
of Christy and Molly.
250
00:18:59,100 --> 00:19:01,100
We're going back.
251
00:19:03,400 --> 00:19:06,500
- Put on my shirt.
- I'm trying to get mine.
252
00:19:16,600 --> 00:19:17,900
Jackpot.
253
00:19:18,400 --> 00:19:19,700
Girl go pee-pee...
254
00:19:19,900 --> 00:19:22,800
- ...not what I want to see-see.
- I agree-gree.
255
00:19:23,000 --> 00:19:26,900
Would you two please try and be
a little open-minded?
256
00:19:27,100 --> 00:19:32,800
Class, let's open our books
and continue with our poetry lesson.
257
00:19:33,000 --> 00:19:35,500
You know what I think about poetry?
258
00:19:38,300 --> 00:19:41,500
Oh, is that amusing?
259
00:19:42,100 --> 00:19:45,500
Is that what your generation
considers humour?
260
00:19:53,000 --> 00:19:56,500
- This make me kind of happy in pants.
- Yeah?
261
00:20:01,900 --> 00:20:03,200
Goodness.
262
00:20:03,700 --> 00:20:07,100
That make me kind of sad in pants.
263
00:20:08,100 --> 00:20:11,800
Shakespeare, Moli鑽e...
264
00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:13,900
...Oscar Wilde.
265
00:20:14,100 --> 00:20:15,800
These were humorists.
266
00:20:18,300 --> 00:20:19,600
I'm gonna be sick.
267
00:20:21,300 --> 00:20:25,700
The sublime poetic genius
of a clever turn of phrase.
268
00:20:25,900 --> 00:20:27,800
That is true comedy.
269
00:20:28,700 --> 00:20:30,000
Heavens to Betsy.
270
00:20:32,100 --> 00:20:37,600
Your modern, moronic, feeble-minded,
sophomoric excuse for wit...
271
00:20:40,300 --> 00:20:42,800
...is merely a parade of nasty...
272
00:20:44,200 --> 00:20:46,300
...filthy, vulgar...
273
00:20:47,600 --> 00:20:50,200
...human excrement!
274
00:21:10,100 --> 00:21:13,100
- Hey, Janey. What's up?
- Excuse me?
275
00:21:13,300 --> 00:21:17,000
Ever want to be
the most popular girl in school?
276
00:21:17,300 --> 00:21:19,300
Anorexic, superficial?
277
00:21:19,500 --> 00:21:23,000
A whore who lacks any real
long-term goals?
278
00:21:23,300 --> 00:21:24,700
Exactly.
279
00:21:25,000 --> 00:21:28,700
If you're interested,
I thought we could go out sometime.
280
00:21:28,900 --> 00:21:30,200
Be seen in public.
281
00:21:30,400 --> 00:21:34,700
- We haven't spoken in four years.
- Actually, more like six.
282
00:21:35,100 --> 00:21:38,300
That time when we were
in line at that theatre...
283
00:21:38,600 --> 00:21:42,700
...I was actually saying " hey"
to the person behind you.
284
00:21:49,300 --> 00:21:53,000
Friday's championship game
is against North Compton...
285
00:21:53,200 --> 00:21:56,000
...and that squad always tries
to bring it.
286
00:21:56,200 --> 00:21:58,700
- Bring what, Priscilla?
- Bring it.
287
00:21:59,000 --> 00:22:01,500
Right, but what is " it"?
288
00:22:01,800 --> 00:22:04,300
It's just what they bring, okay?
289
00:22:04,500 --> 00:22:06,900
So then it is what.
290
00:22:07,100 --> 00:22:10,300
- What?
- Exactly. That's what it is.
291
00:22:10,500 --> 00:22:12,600
No, it is what I want it to be.
292
00:22:12,800 --> 00:22:15,200
Even if what is what what is
or it is what what is...
293
00:22:15,400 --> 00:22:17,300
...it's just it no matter what, got it?
294
00:22:30,100 --> 00:22:35,200
I'm Sandy Sue.
It is simply swell to meet all of you.
295
00:22:36,100 --> 00:22:38,300
Peachy.
You brought a routine?
296
00:22:38,600 --> 00:22:40,900
Oh, you bet.
297
00:22:41,500 --> 00:22:43,800
Give me an H.
Give me a U.
298
00:22:44,800 --> 00:22:48,400
Give me a giant pussy-licking,
ass-fucker cock shit!
299
00:22:52,200 --> 00:22:56,100
I'm sorry.
That was my Tourette's.
300
00:22:57,000 --> 00:23:00,000
I don't know about her.
301
00:23:00,200 --> 00:23:03,700
Let's get it straight.
This isn't a cheerocracy.
302
00:23:04,200 --> 00:23:05,500
I am the cheertator.
303
00:23:05,700 --> 00:23:10,400
I make the cheercisions,
I will deal with the cheeronsequences.
304
00:23:10,700 --> 00:23:14,400
If there are no more cheeruptions,
we can cheertinue.
305
00:23:15,200 --> 00:23:16,800
Thank you.
306
00:23:20,400 --> 00:23:23,300
Grandpa stuck a finger in my ass!
Cum face!
307
00:23:25,400 --> 00:23:28,200
She'll cheer do.
Great.
308
00:23:29,700 --> 00:23:32,500
Goddamn it, let's go now!
Thirty-two draw!
309
00:23:32,700 --> 00:23:36,100
Goddamn it!
Let's show some goddamn hustle!
310
00:23:36,400 --> 00:23:39,900
Look alive out there!
This isn't a goddamn tryout!
311
00:23:40,200 --> 00:23:42,500
- Goddamn it!
- Blue 21! Hut!
312
00:23:42,700 --> 00:23:44,200
What the hell?
313
00:23:44,400 --> 00:23:46,900
Nobody's covering that hole!
314
00:23:47,100 --> 00:23:50,000
Goddamn it!
Let's do it again!
315
00:23:51,400 --> 00:23:54,200
- Goddamn it!
- Marty! Marty! Marty!
316
00:23:55,000 --> 00:23:57,200
All right, Marty.
317
00:23:59,300 --> 00:24:01,800
- Get your ass in there.
- You sure?
318
00:24:02,000 --> 00:24:04,400
Just go, goddamn it.
319
00:24:04,600 --> 00:24:06,800
Wyler, we got this wrapped up.
320
00:24:07,100 --> 00:24:11,000
All you gotta do is run out the clock.
321
00:24:13,100 --> 00:24:15,900
For God's sakes,
don't try anything fancy!
322
00:24:16,200 --> 00:24:17,700
Goddamn it.
323
00:24:20,600 --> 00:24:22,300
Listen, boys.
324
00:24:22,500 --> 00:24:24,900
We got time for one more play.
325
00:24:25,200 --> 00:24:28,400
- I say we get the ball to Marty.
- Damn.
326
00:24:28,700 --> 00:24:31,500
No, I'm just happy
being on the field.
327
00:24:31,700 --> 00:24:36,100
Coach reckons we should take a knee.
We're up 42-0.
328
00:24:36,400 --> 00:24:38,500
I don't care what coach reckons.
329
00:24:38,700 --> 00:24:41,200
You can't go through life
being scared.
330
00:24:41,500 --> 00:24:44,800
If you do, you'll always wonder,
"What if?"
331
00:24:45,500 --> 00:24:49,300
But if you go out there
and you give it your all...
332
00:24:49,700 --> 00:24:51,300
...that's heroic.
333
00:24:53,800 --> 00:24:55,800
Guys, I appreciate this, but...
334
00:24:56,000 --> 00:24:58,300
That's the spirit! Ready?
335
00:25:04,000 --> 00:25:06,600
What are you doing?
Get out of here.
336
00:25:06,900 --> 00:25:08,300
Not here. Down there.
337
00:25:08,500 --> 00:25:09,800
Over here?
338
00:25:10,000 --> 00:25:12,000
What are you doing?
Over here!
339
00:25:12,400 --> 00:25:13,700
Here?
340
00:25:14,800 --> 00:25:16,200
We love you, Marty!
341
00:25:16,400 --> 00:25:18,000
Set, hut!
342
00:25:28,900 --> 00:25:30,600
No. No.
343
00:25:32,000 --> 00:25:34,200
No, don't throw it to me.
344
00:25:34,900 --> 00:25:36,200
No!
345
00:26:02,300 --> 00:26:05,800
- Nice hands, Marty!
- I did it.
346
00:26:06,700 --> 00:26:08,600
- I'm a hero!
- Walk it off!
347
00:26:09,900 --> 00:26:13,500
All right, goddamn it!
Hit the showers, goddamn it!
348
00:26:14,100 --> 00:26:17,000
Bunch of candy-asses.
Lousy practice!
349
00:26:17,300 --> 00:26:20,000
We'll get our asses kicked Friday!
350
00:26:20,200 --> 00:26:23,500
What about fourth-string?
I didn't get to practice.
351
00:26:23,800 --> 00:26:27,600
After all the shenanigans
you pulled last season...
352
00:26:27,800 --> 00:26:32,700
...thank God you're still
in goddamn uniform, goddamn it!
353
00:26:56,700 --> 00:27:00,900
If my parents hear I got detention,
no dessert for a week.
354
00:27:01,100 --> 00:27:03,200
We've disgraced ourselves
and our families.
355
00:27:03,400 --> 00:27:05,300
Guys, guys.
356
00:27:05,500 --> 00:27:09,400
I sense the morale's a little low.
I say we make a pact...
357
00:27:10,100 --> 00:27:11,900
...right here, right now.
358
00:27:12,100 --> 00:27:15,300
Before the end of the year,
we all get laid!
359
00:27:15,900 --> 00:27:17,800
We always make that pact.
360
00:27:18,000 --> 00:27:20,900
We've been waiting for this
since puberty.
361
00:27:21,100 --> 00:27:24,500
- Two weeks ago!
- I just got first hair on ball.
362
00:27:25,100 --> 00:27:27,600
I don't think you understand.
363
00:27:28,100 --> 00:27:31,500
We'll become the masters of our
sexual destiny.
364
00:27:31,700 --> 00:27:35,500
No longer will our penises remain
flaccid and unused.
365
00:27:35,700 --> 00:27:38,200
No longer steal Grandfather's porn.
366
00:27:38,800 --> 00:27:42,500
No longer will we use blindfolds
when we jerk each other off.
367
00:27:43,300 --> 00:27:44,800
All right, that's it.
368
00:27:48,700 --> 00:27:51,100
What in God's name is going on?
369
00:27:51,300 --> 00:27:53,900
- What was that ruckus?
- I no hear ruckus.
370
00:27:54,200 --> 00:27:58,300
- I heard a ruckus.
- Can you describe this ruckus, sir?
371
00:27:58,600 --> 00:28:01,300
You better watch your tongue,
young man!
372
00:28:01,500 --> 00:28:03,400
We were just sitting here.
373
00:28:03,600 --> 00:28:06,600
You just bought yourself
another detention.
374
00:28:06,900 --> 00:28:09,700
- That's not fair.
- Cry me a river, dickface.
375
00:28:09,900 --> 00:28:12,800
- You bought another one.
- Eat my shorts.
376
00:28:13,300 --> 00:28:14,600
What was that?
377
00:28:14,900 --> 00:28:18,100
Eat my shorts!
378
00:28:18,300 --> 00:28:21,100
- Don't mess with a bull.
- I'm shaking.
379
00:28:21,300 --> 00:28:22,900
- You got another.
- Good!
380
00:28:23,100 --> 00:28:25,700
- You through?
- Not even close, bud.
381
00:28:26,000 --> 00:28:27,700
- Want another one?
- Yes.
382
00:28:27,900 --> 00:28:29,200
- You got it!
- Good.
383
00:28:29,400 --> 00:28:31,400
- Another one. Had enough?
- No.
384
00:28:31,600 --> 00:28:33,600
- Another one.
- So?
385
00:28:33,800 --> 00:28:35,700
- I can keep going.
- Go!
386
00:28:35,900 --> 00:28:37,400
- Eenie, meenie, minie...
- Moe.
387
00:28:37,600 --> 00:28:39,500
- Your mom's a...
- Ho.
388
00:28:39,800 --> 00:28:41,500
- He's a famous clown.
- Bobo.
389
00:28:41,700 --> 00:28:43,900
Mitch, cut it out.
390
00:28:44,500 --> 00:28:45,900
Stop.
391
00:28:46,200 --> 00:28:48,100
- Another one.
- But I was...
392
00:28:48,300 --> 00:28:49,600
That's another one!
393
00:28:49,900 --> 00:28:52,600
- One more for Ox or for Mitch?
- Another.
394
00:28:53,400 --> 00:28:55,500
- I confused.
- Shut up, Wang Chung.
395
00:28:55,700 --> 00:28:59,700
I got you for the rest of your lives.
You're mine.
396
00:29:00,100 --> 00:29:03,700
Next time, I'm cracking skulls.
397
00:29:19,400 --> 00:29:22,100
How many times have I said
I'm not going to Princeton?
398
00:29:22,300 --> 00:29:24,200
I'm not pressuring you.
399
00:29:24,600 --> 00:29:26,300
Just give it four years.
400
00:29:26,500 --> 00:29:29,800
If you don't like it,
you can work at my firm.
401
00:29:30,100 --> 00:29:32,800
I don't want your life!
402
00:29:33,400 --> 00:29:34,700
That's okay, son.
403
00:29:34,900 --> 00:29:37,700
I heard about what happened
with Priscilla.
404
00:29:37,900 --> 00:29:39,200
The good news is...
405
00:29:39,400 --> 00:29:41,900
...I've got the perfect rebound girl.
406
00:29:42,100 --> 00:29:43,400
Really?
407
00:29:44,800 --> 00:29:47,500
Beverly! Could you come in here?
408
00:29:53,600 --> 00:29:54,800
That's Mom!
409
00:29:55,100 --> 00:29:57,100
What do you say, kiddo?
410
00:29:57,900 --> 00:30:00,200
I'm gonna leave you two alone.
411
00:30:10,800 --> 00:30:12,900
Would you prefer
the top or bottom, dear?
412
00:30:13,100 --> 00:30:15,600
Oh, my God!
413
00:30:16,000 --> 00:30:18,300
So you in love?
414
00:30:20,700 --> 00:30:24,500
- Yeah, I think I am.
- Well, who is this guy?
415
00:30:24,700 --> 00:30:28,900
His name is Blane. He's a senior.
He's so beautiful.
416
00:30:34,400 --> 00:30:37,800
Janey? Sweetheart?
417
00:30:40,300 --> 00:30:41,700
Hi, Daddy.
418
00:30:41,900 --> 00:30:44,600
Is something wrong?
You were quiet at dinner.
419
00:30:45,200 --> 00:30:47,900
You were passed out on the table.
420
00:30:53,300 --> 00:30:55,100
Listen, honey...
421
00:30:55,300 --> 00:30:59,300
...I may not always be coherent
or conscious...
422
00:30:59,600 --> 00:31:04,000
...but I know when my girl's
got something on her mind.
423
00:31:04,500 --> 00:31:07,400
Well, there is this popular boy,
Jake.
424
00:31:07,700 --> 00:31:11,300
Oh, sweetie.
425
00:31:12,600 --> 00:31:15,100
Jake knocked you up, didn't he?
426
00:31:15,300 --> 00:31:17,200
No, he asked me out.
427
00:31:18,900 --> 00:31:22,200
Do you like him?
Are you attracted to him?
428
00:31:22,500 --> 00:31:25,200
I mean, would you give him head?
429
00:31:25,400 --> 00:31:28,200
He is kind of cute, but...
430
00:31:28,500 --> 00:31:30,800
...he's always been a total jerk.
431
00:31:31,000 --> 00:31:33,500
It's weird that he's
talking to me now.
432
00:31:33,800 --> 00:31:37,500
Especially after you've packed
on a couple of pounds.
433
00:31:41,700 --> 00:31:44,200
What do you think I should do?
434
00:31:44,500 --> 00:31:46,100
Look, sweetie.
435
00:31:46,400 --> 00:31:50,800
I never want you to do anything
that compromises who you are...
436
00:31:51,100 --> 00:31:54,400
...because you're very,
very special to me.
437
00:31:54,700 --> 00:31:58,600
If Jake is only asking you out
to get into your pants...
438
00:31:59,100 --> 00:32:01,100
...well, then I'd say...
439
00:32:01,300 --> 00:32:03,200
...go out with him.
440
00:32:03,400 --> 00:32:06,900
You could certainly use
the popularity points.
441
00:32:07,400 --> 00:32:09,200
And if Jake likes you...
442
00:32:09,400 --> 00:32:14,500
...then maybe those kids'll quit
throwing bags of shit on the porch.
443
00:32:20,100 --> 00:32:21,700
I feel better.
444
00:32:24,300 --> 00:32:27,000
Thanks for the advice, Daddy.
445
00:32:28,000 --> 00:32:31,200
That's what I'm here for,
pumpkin-tits.
446
00:32:35,500 --> 00:32:36,800
Catherine.
447
00:32:38,300 --> 00:32:41,400
- I need to ask you a favour.
- It's about time.
448
00:32:41,800 --> 00:32:43,900
No, not that.
449
00:32:45,600 --> 00:32:48,600
You're the cruellest girl
in high school.
450
00:32:48,800 --> 00:32:52,900
You're the only one who can help
trick Janey into liking me.
451
00:32:53,200 --> 00:32:56,700
That girl with the glasses
and the ponytail?
452
00:32:56,900 --> 00:32:59,900
Don't forget the
paint-covered overalls.
453
00:33:01,100 --> 00:33:03,500
Well...
454
00:33:03,800 --> 00:33:06,300
...it's going to be difficult.
455
00:33:07,100 --> 00:33:09,300
But I think I can help you.
456
00:33:09,600 --> 00:33:11,000
Sit.
457
00:33:14,300 --> 00:33:15,900
For a price.
458
00:33:18,100 --> 00:33:21,300
And this time,
I don't want your car.
459
00:33:23,000 --> 00:33:24,600
I want you.
460
00:33:25,000 --> 00:33:28,500
Catherine, that's disgusting.
You're my sister.
461
00:33:28,800 --> 00:33:31,300
Only by blood.
462
00:33:31,500 --> 00:33:36,900
- What is wrong with this family?
- Hey, do you want my help or not?
463
00:33:50,500 --> 00:33:53,600
Okay, there are three things
you need to do...
464
00:33:53,800 --> 00:33:56,600
...to have Janey
eating out of your hand.
465
00:34:04,800 --> 00:34:06,600
First, you earn her trust.
466
00:34:07,100 --> 00:34:08,400
Punk!
467
00:34:08,600 --> 00:34:10,100
Come on, leave him alone!
468
00:34:10,500 --> 00:34:14,500
Hey! Come on, guys, back off.
That's enough, okay?
469
00:34:18,200 --> 00:34:19,800
You little shit.
470
00:34:31,500 --> 00:34:34,100
Don't you guys mess with him again.
471
00:34:34,400 --> 00:34:39,200
Once you've got her trust,
it's time to make her feel special.
472
00:34:39,800 --> 00:34:43,600
Pick a song with her name in it.
That always works.
473
00:35:01,600 --> 00:35:04,600
Janey's got a gun
474
00:35:04,900 --> 00:35:06,400
Janey's got a gun
475
00:35:06,600 --> 00:35:09,400
She's got a gun!
Janey's got a gun!
476
00:35:09,700 --> 00:35:11,800
The whole world's come undone
477
00:35:13,000 --> 00:35:15,000
Janey Briggs got a gun
478
00:35:15,700 --> 00:35:19,900
So run away
Run away from the pain
479
00:35:20,300 --> 00:35:21,600
Take it easy, miss.
480
00:35:21,800 --> 00:35:23,600
- Wait.
- Get back here!
481
00:35:23,800 --> 00:35:27,400
Run away, run away from the pain
482
00:35:27,900 --> 00:35:29,200
Hold her down.
483
00:35:31,900 --> 00:35:35,100
Give me your hand!
Just give us the gun, Janey.
484
00:35:36,000 --> 00:35:39,200
After you've made her feel special...
485
00:35:39,400 --> 00:35:42,400
...it's time to put the icing
on the cake.
486
00:35:42,700 --> 00:35:45,200
I'm really glad you showed up, Janey.
487
00:35:45,500 --> 00:35:50,200
The only reason I came here
was to tell you to leave me alone.
488
00:35:50,500 --> 00:35:53,500
You know, I was just making a snack.
489
00:35:53,700 --> 00:35:55,500
You want one?
490
00:35:56,200 --> 00:35:58,100
No. Listen, Jake...
491
00:35:58,300 --> 00:36:00,000
I'll be right back.
492
00:36:00,800 --> 00:36:01,800
But I...
493
00:36:37,300 --> 00:36:38,900
Hungry?
494
00:36:42,000 --> 00:36:43,500
I don't like sundaes.
495
00:36:43,700 --> 00:36:48,000
It's not a sundae,
it's a banana split.
496
00:36:49,600 --> 00:36:53,500
I don't like those either.
Goodbye, Jake.
497
00:37:09,900 --> 00:37:11,300
So, Jake...
498
00:37:11,500 --> 00:37:15,800
...how's it going with Janey, Janey,
I couldn't be any more plainy?
499
00:37:17,600 --> 00:37:22,600
Well, you can ask her when I take her
to Preston Wasserstein's big party.
500
00:37:24,000 --> 00:37:25,200
Really?
501
00:37:27,200 --> 00:37:28,900
Really.
502
00:37:30,500 --> 00:37:31,800
How fitting.
503
00:37:32,000 --> 00:37:33,700
Everyone here is eating steak...
504
00:37:33,900 --> 00:37:37,100
...but your boy,
he's the chickenshit.
505
00:37:37,900 --> 00:37:41,700
Jake may not produce the proper
enzymes to digest red meat...
506
00:37:41,900 --> 00:37:46,100
...but he'll always be
more of a quarterback than Austin.
507
00:37:46,300 --> 00:37:48,700
Oh, really?
508
00:37:48,900 --> 00:37:50,700
That's right.
509
00:37:50,900 --> 00:37:52,500
Really.
510
00:37:52,700 --> 00:37:55,700
Come on, son. Let's show them.
511
00:37:57,200 --> 00:37:58,200
I smell a bet.
512
00:38:01,600 --> 00:38:03,000
Come on, Austin.
513
00:38:10,800 --> 00:38:13,100
All right, Jake, let's do it.
514
00:38:13,300 --> 00:38:16,000
All right, let's go.
515
00:38:16,200 --> 00:38:18,500
What's the odds, huh?
Hey, what's the odds?
516
00:38:18,700 --> 00:38:23,700
What, 2-1? Shit.
You stupid damn hog.
517
00:38:25,100 --> 00:38:27,100
Must've been the wind, son.
Try again.
518
00:38:30,700 --> 00:38:32,300
Damn!
519
00:38:35,200 --> 00:38:37,500
I think I moved that time.
520
00:38:38,500 --> 00:38:39,500
And that time.
521
00:38:43,800 --> 00:38:44,800
Shit!
522
00:38:49,500 --> 00:38:51,200
That is wack.
523
00:38:54,500 --> 00:38:56,800
Just nail your mother, son.
524
00:38:57,000 --> 00:38:59,300
That's it. That's it.
525
00:39:00,400 --> 00:39:01,800
Way to go, Jake.
526
00:39:02,000 --> 00:39:04,600
At least you kept them
in the yard this time.
527
00:39:08,900 --> 00:39:11,800
I left some money
on the kitchen counter.
528
00:39:12,000 --> 00:39:14,400
Emergency numbers
are by the phone.
529
00:39:14,700 --> 00:39:17,100
And remember, son:
No parties.
530
00:39:17,400 --> 00:39:18,600
I know, Dad.
531
00:39:19,000 --> 00:39:20,700
Keg coming through.
Hey.
532
00:39:21,500 --> 00:39:22,800
What's up, man?
533
00:39:23,000 --> 00:39:25,000
We're trusting you, Preston.
534
00:39:25,200 --> 00:39:29,500
- Where do you want the speakers?
- In the dining room.
535
00:39:29,700 --> 00:39:31,900
You guys should hit the road.
536
00:39:32,100 --> 00:39:34,700
I'm taking your Ferrari
to buy hookers.
537
00:39:35,000 --> 00:39:37,500
We'll call you later to check in.
538
00:39:37,700 --> 00:39:41,100
I'll be so high,
I won't know where the phone is.
539
00:39:41,300 --> 00:39:42,800
That's my boy.
540
00:39:46,200 --> 00:39:48,400
Jake, what are you doing here?
541
00:39:48,600 --> 00:39:51,200
I'm taking you to Preston's big party.
542
00:39:51,900 --> 00:39:52,900
I can't.
543
00:39:53,100 --> 00:39:57,300
I'm not dressed to go to a party.
I'm a complete mess.
544
00:39:57,500 --> 00:40:01,100
I'd say you're one big fucking
train wreck.
545
00:40:18,600 --> 00:40:23,000
Maybe a little cover-up
would do the trick.
546
00:40:23,900 --> 00:40:25,100
Okay.
547
00:40:29,000 --> 00:40:31,800
What do we have
to work with here?
548
00:40:33,500 --> 00:40:38,500
These are quite nice.
549
00:40:45,500 --> 00:40:48,400
And everything seems to be
in working order down here.
550
00:40:54,300 --> 00:40:56,000
What are you doing?
551
00:40:57,800 --> 00:41:01,400
That's it. I've got it.
552
00:41:01,600 --> 00:41:02,700
What?
553
00:41:03,000 --> 00:41:07,000
It might seem crazy,
but you'll have to trust me.
554
00:41:34,800 --> 00:41:36,600
That's it.
555
00:41:36,800 --> 00:41:39,600
I did it. I'm a miracle-worker.
556
00:41:42,600 --> 00:41:44,200
Gentlemen...
557
00:41:44,500 --> 00:41:47,500
...may I present to you
the new and improved...
558
00:41:48,100 --> 00:41:50,300
...Janey Briggs.
559
00:42:25,000 --> 00:42:29,200
Congratulations. You just got
your first slow-motion entrance.
560
00:42:51,500 --> 00:42:53,700
I'm okay!
561
00:42:53,900 --> 00:42:55,100
Janey?
562
00:42:57,100 --> 00:43:00,800
Come on out of there, honey.
Quit farting around.
563
00:43:09,600 --> 00:43:12,500
- Got your mom's car keys?
- Check.
564
00:43:14,700 --> 00:43:16,200
- Sleeping bags.
- Check.
565
00:43:16,400 --> 00:43:17,500
- Condoms.
- Check.
566
00:43:17,800 --> 00:43:22,900
Three pubescent libidos to take us
on a series of wild adventures.
567
00:43:23,200 --> 00:43:25,400
Check! Road trip!
568
00:43:40,900 --> 00:43:42,100
We here.
569
00:43:42,600 --> 00:43:46,600
Gentlemen, tonight we go
to our first high school party.
570
00:43:47,100 --> 00:43:50,400
This is the place to buzz the Brillo.
571
00:43:50,600 --> 00:43:52,700
How you plan on buzzing Brillo?
572
00:43:53,800 --> 00:43:57,800
With this letter.
Amanda Becker will know the truth:
573
00:43:58,000 --> 00:44:00,700
I've loved her since I first saw her.
574
00:44:01,900 --> 00:44:04,000
Mitch, that was yesterday.
575
00:44:05,200 --> 00:44:06,500
Welcome to the party.
576
00:44:06,800 --> 00:44:11,000
If you're going to have sex,
do it in my parents' bedroom.
577
00:44:12,100 --> 00:44:16,500
- Does she go to our school?
- It's not even the same person.
578
00:44:16,800 --> 00:44:19,400
Janey-stainey-stained-pants-overalls?
579
00:44:19,600 --> 00:44:21,800
How did you talk me into this?
580
00:44:22,100 --> 00:44:26,800
Priscilla's freaking out
now that Janey's lost her ponytail.
581
00:44:27,000 --> 00:44:30,100
I'm going to go
fuck a complete stranger.
582
00:44:30,300 --> 00:44:33,400
Hey, I'm a complete stranger.
583
00:44:35,800 --> 00:44:39,300
Relax, all right?
It's going to be okay.
584
00:44:39,800 --> 00:44:40,800
Nice turtleneck.
585
00:44:41,100 --> 00:44:43,000
What's your name?
586
00:44:43,200 --> 00:44:46,500
I'm Sandy Sue.
Limp-dick fag-fucker!
587
00:44:46,700 --> 00:44:48,800
Who told you that?
Alison?
588
00:44:49,000 --> 00:44:51,800
Alison was bitter when we broke up.
589
00:44:52,000 --> 00:44:56,500
- Completely fake.
- Yeah, that's not her real hair colour.
590
00:44:56,700 --> 00:45:00,800
- She's wearing the same outfit as me.
- It looks much better on you.
591
00:45:01,500 --> 00:45:03,900
Where is she?
I thought she'd be here by now.
592
00:45:19,300 --> 00:45:20,900
What's going on?
593
00:45:22,200 --> 00:45:27,200
We can't talk
until she starts moving again.
594
00:45:42,900 --> 00:45:44,800
What are you doing here?
595
00:45:47,400 --> 00:45:48,600
What do you mean?
596
00:45:48,800 --> 00:45:53,100
I'm supposed to be the only black guy
at this party.
597
00:45:53,900 --> 00:45:57,400
- Damn. Shit.
- Yeah, I know.
598
00:45:57,600 --> 00:45:58,700
- It's wack.
- It's wack.
599
00:45:58,900 --> 00:46:00,000
My bad, man.
600
00:46:00,200 --> 00:46:02,000
- Take this.
- Thanks.
601
00:46:02,200 --> 00:46:03,600
Do your thing.
602
00:46:04,200 --> 00:46:07,700
- Peace out, brother.
- Honest mistake.
603
00:46:09,100 --> 00:46:10,300
Yeah.
604
00:46:29,900 --> 00:46:32,400
Get back to the line, geek.
605
00:46:36,300 --> 00:46:38,200
Thank you.
606
00:46:45,500 --> 00:46:48,300
Hi, my name is Catherine.
607
00:46:49,000 --> 00:46:53,600
Yeah, I know.
We just had sex five minutes ago.
608
00:46:58,000 --> 00:47:00,100
Not scoring any cock either?
609
00:47:00,400 --> 00:47:04,400
Cock? I've never even been kissed.
610
00:47:26,700 --> 00:47:28,300
Janey.
611
00:47:33,000 --> 00:47:34,900
Janey!
612
00:47:35,300 --> 00:47:37,100
Janey.
613
00:47:46,400 --> 00:47:51,000
What up, my yellow brothers?
Chinks in the house!
614
00:48:15,000 --> 00:48:16,900
This never actually happens
in real life.
615
00:48:17,100 --> 00:48:18,500
Then why are we doing this?
616
00:48:18,700 --> 00:48:20,500
I have no idea.
617
00:48:29,700 --> 00:48:31,600
Janey!
618
00:48:38,100 --> 00:48:42,100
Reggie Ray, have you
seen Janey anywhere?
619
00:48:43,100 --> 00:48:46,000
It's a good night for smoking.
620
00:48:46,200 --> 00:48:48,400
Ain't that right, Sausage?
621
00:48:56,100 --> 00:48:59,700
Okay, now close your eyes
and wet your lips.
622
00:49:00,000 --> 00:49:03,500
- Are you for real?
- Do you want to learn or not?
623
00:49:05,100 --> 00:49:07,900
I guess.
624
00:49:18,100 --> 00:49:23,400
- See? That wasn't so scary.
- It was nothing.
625
00:49:24,800 --> 00:49:27,100
Okay.
626
00:49:27,300 --> 00:49:29,800
Let's try again.
627
00:49:30,100 --> 00:49:34,400
Only this time, I'm gonna
stick my tongue in your mouth.
628
00:49:34,600 --> 00:49:39,200
And when I do that, I want you
to massage my tongue with yours.
629
00:49:39,400 --> 00:49:43,700
- And that's what first base is.
- Okay.
630
00:49:44,100 --> 00:49:45,800
Eyes closed.
631
00:50:11,200 --> 00:50:13,300
That was cool.
632
00:50:15,800 --> 00:50:17,300
Now...
633
00:50:17,500 --> 00:50:20,900
...have you ever eaten pussy before?
634
00:50:23,300 --> 00:50:26,200
You call this a party?!
635
00:50:26,500 --> 00:50:29,000
I'm a golden goddess!
636
00:50:29,300 --> 00:50:32,100
- Show us how drunk you are!
- Go for it!
637
00:50:38,600 --> 00:50:40,800
You're a unique rebel, Janey!
638
00:50:41,600 --> 00:50:43,400
Janey, are you all right?
639
00:50:44,300 --> 00:50:49,400
- I told you not to let me drink.
- I gave you a nonalcoholic beer.
640
00:50:53,900 --> 00:50:56,700
What the hell are you doing here?
641
00:50:56,900 --> 00:50:58,000
I was invited.
642
00:50:58,300 --> 00:51:03,000
Look, you may have lost those glasses
and that ponytail thing...
643
00:51:03,300 --> 00:51:06,200
...but you're still a loser.
644
00:51:12,000 --> 00:51:15,200
Look at that. Oh, my God.
645
00:51:15,400 --> 00:51:17,600
That's going to stain.
646
00:51:22,700 --> 00:51:26,000
You're not going to cry now, are you?
647
00:52:07,500 --> 00:52:11,600
Look, you can't just start
a slow clap at any old time.
648
00:52:11,900 --> 00:52:17,600
- You gotta wait for the right moment.
- When is it the right moment?
649
00:52:20,400 --> 00:52:22,500
You'll know.
650
00:52:34,700 --> 00:52:36,800
Nobody's allowed down here.
651
00:52:37,500 --> 00:52:39,100
Janey, I just thought...
652
00:52:39,300 --> 00:52:42,600
How did you get in here?
I dead-bolted the door.
653
00:52:43,800 --> 00:52:46,100
There's a hole in the side
of your house.
654
00:52:52,100 --> 00:52:54,200
Who's that?
655
00:52:54,400 --> 00:52:57,600
- It's my mother.
- You have her eyes.
656
00:53:00,000 --> 00:53:02,500
She died when I was 6.
657
00:53:03,700 --> 00:53:05,600
I'm sorry.
658
00:53:05,800 --> 00:53:08,800
I remember it like it was yesterday.
659
00:53:09,000 --> 00:53:14,500
Christmas, 1989. Dad had been
fired from the zipper factory.
660
00:53:14,700 --> 00:53:17,800
Mom was pulling in tricks
to make ends meet.
661
00:53:18,000 --> 00:53:21,400
Daniel Day-Lewis won an Oscar
for My Left Foot.
662
00:53:21,600 --> 00:53:24,900
And all I wanted was
a little Betsy Wetsy doll.
663
00:53:25,100 --> 00:53:30,300
I remember those. Push her belly,
she'd piss all over herself.
664
00:53:30,500 --> 00:53:34,600
She said she was going out
to get my dad a bottle of gin...
665
00:53:34,800 --> 00:53:38,500
...but I knew she was going
to get me that present.
666
00:53:38,800 --> 00:53:42,800
It was raining really hard
that night...
667
00:53:43,000 --> 00:53:45,700
...and the roads were slippery.
668
00:53:46,200 --> 00:53:49,500
Oh, God, Janey.
A car accident.
669
00:53:49,800 --> 00:53:52,000
No. Cancer.
670
00:53:55,700 --> 00:53:59,200
I had to take on
all of her responsibilities:
671
00:53:59,400 --> 00:54:02,900
Cooking and cleaning
and breast-feeding Mitch.
672
00:54:03,100 --> 00:54:06,300
It's in the past.
Think about your future.
673
00:54:06,500 --> 00:54:08,900
Look how talented you are.
674
00:54:09,200 --> 00:54:13,700
I have this dream of just hopping
on a plane and going to Paris.
675
00:54:14,000 --> 00:54:17,000
There's an art school,
but I can't afford it.
676
00:54:17,500 --> 00:54:21,700
Unless I raise $26,000
before the admissions cutoff.
677
00:54:21,900 --> 00:54:27,300
My parents give a scholarship to girls
who can't get into art school.
678
00:54:27,500 --> 00:54:29,400
Really? That's amazing.
679
00:54:29,700 --> 00:54:34,000
This year we gave it to Lupe,
the Mexican finger painter.
680
00:54:34,200 --> 00:54:36,300
I think you'd really like her work.
681
00:54:37,900 --> 00:54:41,500
Sometimes I wish my life
was a fairy tale...
682
00:54:41,800 --> 00:54:45,000
...and some guy would come
and take me away.
683
00:55:09,400 --> 00:55:11,100
- I was...
- Yeah, because we...
684
00:55:11,300 --> 00:55:15,300
- My eyes were shut.
- And we couldn't even...
685
00:55:23,100 --> 00:55:25,600
I'm gonna...
686
00:55:25,800 --> 00:55:28,300
- I'm going to go.
- Okay.
687
00:55:29,300 --> 00:55:32,400
Congratulations to the men and
women nominated for prom queen.
688
00:55:37,000 --> 00:55:38,500
Janey!
689
00:55:38,700 --> 00:55:40,700
- Janey.
- What a nerd.
690
00:55:42,800 --> 00:55:44,600
Hi. Check it out.
691
00:55:44,800 --> 00:55:47,000
You have been nominated
for prom queen.
692
00:55:47,200 --> 00:55:49,500
- What?
- Yeah.
693
00:55:51,200 --> 00:55:53,500
- I can't believe it.
- Yeah.
694
00:55:53,700 --> 00:55:56,800
So do you have a date yet?
695
00:55:57,000 --> 00:55:59,700
No, nobody's asked me.
696
00:55:59,900 --> 00:56:02,900
Do you wanna go?
697
00:56:03,100 --> 00:56:06,000
Of course, if somebody asked me.
698
00:56:06,200 --> 00:56:08,800
Then I'm asking you right now.
699
00:56:09,000 --> 00:56:11,000
About what?
700
00:56:11,200 --> 00:56:13,100
The prom.
701
00:56:13,300 --> 00:56:15,800
Yeah, I know.
It's on Saturday, silly.
702
00:56:16,000 --> 00:56:18,000
See you in English.
703
00:56:18,200 --> 00:56:19,900
Okay.
704
00:56:20,600 --> 00:56:22,800
I had a feeling
you were gonna say that.
705
00:56:34,300 --> 00:56:38,000
Think you'll be prom queen?
Well, think again, Janey.
706
00:56:38,200 --> 00:56:42,300
You put the "ass" in "embarrassment,"
the " boo" in "taboo."
707
00:56:42,500 --> 00:56:45,600
And the "suck" in " liposuction."
708
00:56:49,200 --> 00:56:50,800
Is that the best you can do?
709
00:56:52,100 --> 00:56:53,900
No.
710
00:56:54,000 --> 00:56:57,100
You also put the " brat"
in " bratwurst."
711
00:56:57,300 --> 00:57:00,300
And the "eew" in "jujitsu."
712
00:57:00,500 --> 00:57:05,200
And the " ism" in "This is all
just a defence mechanism."
713
00:57:09,400 --> 00:57:14,100
So I told her, "Take the old lady
and send your mama back."
714
00:57:15,400 --> 00:57:20,000
So you asked your four-eyed
circus freak to the prom yet?
715
00:57:20,300 --> 00:57:22,400
- We resent that!
- We resent that!
716
00:57:24,000 --> 00:57:27,000
Why don't you just drop it, Austin.
717
00:57:27,200 --> 00:57:32,100
Jake made a few paint stains
in his pants thinking about Janey.
718
00:57:32,900 --> 00:57:35,900
It's just a bet. Okay, man?
719
00:57:36,400 --> 00:57:39,100
You always had a thing
for ugly girls...
720
00:57:39,300 --> 00:57:42,900
...Mr. I-Have-
a-Thing-for-Ugly-Girls.
721
00:57:45,300 --> 00:57:46,700
You mean Janey?
722
00:57:46,900 --> 00:57:50,500
She looks as good
as a dumpster full of gristles.
723
00:57:50,900 --> 00:57:53,300
Bling-bling.
724
00:57:54,900 --> 00:57:57,200
Janey Briggs...
725
00:57:57,400 --> 00:57:59,100
...is hot.
726
00:58:16,200 --> 00:58:19,000
- Hey, Janey.
- Hey, Jake.
727
00:58:19,200 --> 00:58:22,100
I've been doing a lot of thinking...
728
00:58:22,300 --> 00:58:27,100
...and there's something
I want to ask you.
729
00:58:27,300 --> 00:58:30,200
I don't want to make
a big deal of it...
730
00:58:30,400 --> 00:58:34,900
...so I'm just gonna lay it out there,
okay?
731
00:58:35,600 --> 00:58:37,500
Here it is.
732
00:58:39,700 --> 00:58:42,600
See, I don't like making big speeches.
733
00:58:42,900 --> 00:58:46,600
I'm a straight shooter.
I call them like I see them.
734
00:58:47,000 --> 00:58:49,000
What you see is what you get.
735
00:58:49,700 --> 00:58:54,800
Ain't nobody gonna break my stride.
Ain't nobody gonna slow me down.
736
00:58:55,000 --> 00:58:58,300
Jake, are you trying
to ask me to the...?
737
00:58:58,500 --> 00:59:00,600
Yeah.
738
00:59:00,800 --> 00:59:02,900
I'd love to go with you.
739
00:59:07,600 --> 00:59:10,000
Great. Great.
740
00:59:13,100 --> 00:59:14,400
I'll see you in English.
741
00:59:14,700 --> 00:59:16,100
You...
742
00:59:18,300 --> 00:59:20,100
It's Friday night, it's 8:00...
743
00:59:20,300 --> 00:59:22,300
...and that can only mean one thing.
744
00:59:22,500 --> 00:59:26,300
You guessed it. A new episode
of Sabrina, the Teenage Witch.
745
00:59:27,600 --> 00:59:29,800
But if you're not a fan
of Melissa Joan Hart...
746
00:59:30,000 --> 00:59:31,600
...and I'm not sure who isn't...
747
00:59:31,700 --> 00:59:34,600
...there's a state championship
to be played.
748
00:59:36,400 --> 00:59:39,900
All right. It's time to play
some football!
749
00:59:40,100 --> 00:59:45,400
The John Hughes Wasps take on
the North Compton Wildcats.
750
01:00:03,300 --> 01:00:04,900
Goddamn!
751
01:00:12,400 --> 01:00:15,400
That's the fastest half
of football ever.
752
01:00:20,300 --> 01:00:24,100
We saw you at our practice.
I know you stole our routine.
753
01:00:24,300 --> 01:00:29,100
I don't know what you mean.
We do our own cheers. Right, girls?
754
01:00:29,300 --> 01:00:30,300
That's right.
755
01:00:30,500 --> 01:00:33,600
Well, then, you better bring it.
756
01:00:33,800 --> 01:00:36,100
Oh, it's already been broughten.
757
01:00:36,800 --> 01:00:39,100
Nice comeback, Priscilla! Yeah!
758
01:00:39,600 --> 01:00:42,600
We are the North Compton Wildcats
759
01:00:42,900 --> 01:00:44,400
We're black, we know it
760
01:00:44,600 --> 01:00:46,800
We shake our booty and show it
761
01:00:47,100 --> 01:00:48,900
We ain't white
We ain't white
762
01:00:49,100 --> 01:00:52,400
We definitely ain't white
Break it down, nigga
763
01:00:58,300 --> 01:01:01,100
Damn, those bitches represent!
764
01:01:08,700 --> 01:01:10,000
All right!
765
01:01:11,100 --> 01:01:13,200
- Reggie Ray.
- I smell a bet.
766
01:01:14,400 --> 01:01:15,800
You all right?
767
01:01:16,000 --> 01:01:19,000
Coach says it's okay
to bleed from the ears.
768
01:01:24,400 --> 01:01:27,500
I got to go back out on the field.
769
01:01:28,900 --> 01:01:31,800
All right. Be careful.
You only have three...
770
01:01:32,800 --> 01:01:36,300
Two concussions left. Reggie Ray.
771
01:01:36,500 --> 01:01:38,000
And we're back.
772
01:01:39,900 --> 01:01:41,800
Let's go, Wasps!
773
01:01:42,600 --> 01:01:44,400
Let's go, Wasps!
774
01:01:45,300 --> 01:01:46,600
Let's go, Wasps!
775
01:01:48,500 --> 01:01:50,200
Blue 33! Set!
776
01:01:52,300 --> 01:01:54,200
That's defence right there.
777
01:01:55,400 --> 01:01:57,500
Say "good day" to Reggie Ray.
778
01:02:00,100 --> 01:02:03,100
Sit down. He got the wind
knocked out of him.
779
01:02:03,500 --> 01:02:06,800
- Come on, Reggie Ray, get up!
- Reggie Ray.
780
01:02:07,000 --> 01:02:09,300
You still have another concussion!
781
01:02:12,500 --> 01:02:14,200
Come on, dog!
782
01:02:14,400 --> 01:02:16,600
It doesn't look good, coach.
783
01:02:16,900 --> 01:02:18,900
- Can he play?
- He's in a coma.
784
01:02:19,100 --> 01:02:22,200
Answer my question! Can he play?
785
01:02:22,400 --> 01:02:25,300
He can't breathe.
Get him to a hospital.
786
01:02:25,500 --> 01:02:26,600
Listen right now!
787
01:02:26,900 --> 01:02:32,400
I don't care what you have to do!
He stays in the game, goddamn it!
788
01:02:33,700 --> 01:02:35,800
- Coach, I'm in love with you.
- Goddamn it!
789
01:02:36,000 --> 01:02:37,400
Fuck.
790
01:02:44,300 --> 01:02:47,200
Holy shit, this motherfucker's heavy.
791
01:02:47,700 --> 01:02:49,000
Blue 15!
792
01:02:51,800 --> 01:02:53,300
Set! Hut!
793
01:02:57,200 --> 01:02:59,300
Goddamn it, Reggie Ray!
794
01:03:00,400 --> 01:03:01,700
Shit.
795
01:03:20,900 --> 01:03:23,900
Wham, bam, what the fuck
just happened?
796
01:03:27,200 --> 01:03:32,000
Okay, Wyler, I've got no choice.
You're the only quarterback I've got.
797
01:03:33,300 --> 01:03:37,600
- I say give the ball to Marty.
- I'm just happy being on the field.
798
01:03:38,500 --> 01:03:43,000
- You'll always wonder, "What if?"
- I'm a hero!
799
01:03:44,900 --> 01:03:47,000
Goddamn it! Get in the game!
800
01:03:47,300 --> 01:03:48,900
You're our only chance!
801
01:03:50,300 --> 01:03:54,300
- You're a pussy, Wyler!
- Do it for Marty's torso!
802
01:03:58,000 --> 01:03:59,600
You got butterflies, huh?
803
01:04:00,100 --> 01:04:01,100
Who are you?
804
01:04:08,900 --> 01:04:10,100
I'm the wise janitor.
805
01:04:10,700 --> 01:04:13,800
I impart knowledge
and help overcome fears.
806
01:04:14,000 --> 01:04:16,200
I also replace the urinal cakes.
807
01:04:16,400 --> 01:04:19,000
I'm here to help you
get your throw back.
808
01:04:19,900 --> 01:04:21,900
- How did you...?
- I've been watching.
809
01:04:22,100 --> 01:04:26,600
During practice, in the hallways,
in the lockers, taking a shower...
810
01:04:26,900 --> 01:04:29,800
...whipping boys with a wet towel.
811
01:04:30,100 --> 01:04:34,600
- Can tell you kind of like that.
- Hey! Let's get back to the throw.
812
01:04:34,800 --> 01:04:37,600
What happened to Marty
wasn't your fault.
813
01:04:37,800 --> 01:04:40,100
- Really?
- Okay, it was.
814
01:04:40,400 --> 01:04:42,300
But you got to get over it.
815
01:04:42,500 --> 01:04:44,800
It could've happened to anybody.
816
01:04:45,000 --> 01:04:48,500
Anybody that disobeyed the coach
and the team...
817
01:04:48,700 --> 01:04:53,600
...and threw to a 90-pound kid
who shouldn't have been on the field.
818
01:04:53,800 --> 01:04:57,700
Stop! How is any of this
supposed to be helping me?
819
01:04:57,900 --> 01:04:59,900
Right. Forget what I said.
820
01:05:00,200 --> 01:05:04,800
You got to go out there, believe
in the ball and throw yourself.
821
01:05:05,200 --> 01:05:07,400
You can do it.
822
01:05:11,900 --> 01:05:14,100
I'm going out there.
823
01:05:20,400 --> 01:05:24,000
Only 25 seconds remaining,
and the season...
824
01:05:24,200 --> 01:05:28,500
...rests in the hands of fourth-string
quarterback Jake Wyler.
825
01:05:28,700 --> 01:05:31,800
Translation: We're shit out of luck.
826
01:05:32,200 --> 01:05:33,500
Give me a W!
827
01:05:34,600 --> 01:05:36,700
Give me a Y!
828
01:05:36,900 --> 01:05:40,100
Give me a...
Lick my pussy ass cock shit!
829
01:05:40,900 --> 01:05:43,500
Lick my pussy ass cock shit!
830
01:05:47,800 --> 01:05:49,000
Blue 83!
831
01:05:49,200 --> 01:05:51,500
- Blue 83!
- Reggie Ray?
832
01:05:51,700 --> 01:05:53,700
I reckon I'm feeling better.
833
01:05:53,900 --> 01:05:55,300
Set! Hut!
834
01:06:39,800 --> 01:06:40,900
Shit.
835
01:06:55,200 --> 01:06:59,700
That has to be the worst pass
I've ever seen, ever.
836
01:07:01,900 --> 01:07:03,900
What the hell was that?
837
01:07:32,100 --> 01:07:33,300
Jake?
838
01:07:35,900 --> 01:07:37,200
Jake.
839
01:07:39,000 --> 01:07:40,200
Hey.
840
01:07:40,900 --> 01:07:44,300
- You did great out there.
- I blew the game, Janey.
841
01:07:44,600 --> 01:07:46,000
I let everyone down.
842
01:07:46,200 --> 01:07:51,000
It's just a football game, Jake.
Besides...
843
01:07:52,200 --> 01:07:54,100
...you didn't let me down.
844
01:07:54,700 --> 01:07:55,800
Really?
845
01:07:57,300 --> 01:08:00,000
Jake, you've taught me to be myself.
846
01:08:00,200 --> 01:08:03,200
You never saw me as the girl
in glasses.
847
01:08:03,500 --> 01:08:06,000
Don't forget the paint-covered
overalls.
848
01:08:06,200 --> 01:08:08,900
Right, you never noticed those either.
849
01:08:10,000 --> 01:08:12,400
You taught me a lot about myself too.
850
01:08:13,000 --> 01:08:17,200
Oh, Jake. Nothing could
ever come between us now.
851
01:08:21,300 --> 01:08:23,500
Nothing could
ever come between us now.
852
01:08:23,700 --> 01:08:24,900
Jake Wyler.
853
01:08:26,700 --> 01:08:30,100
Congratulations.
You blew my perfect season.
854
01:08:30,400 --> 01:08:34,300
- Ser You-Blew-My-Perfect-Season.
- What do you want, Austin?
855
01:08:34,500 --> 01:08:35,500
A life.
856
01:08:37,200 --> 01:08:38,700
And payback.
857
01:08:39,100 --> 01:08:42,300
- Come on, don't do this.
- No, I'll hang around.
858
01:08:42,500 --> 01:08:47,400
Maybe tell Janey a little
S-E-C-R-A-T-P...
859
01:08:50,900 --> 01:08:52,600
What's going on?
860
01:08:52,800 --> 01:08:54,500
Austin.
861
01:08:54,700 --> 01:08:55,800
This isn't funny!
862
01:08:57,400 --> 01:08:58,400
No.
863
01:08:59,800 --> 01:09:01,000
I don't believe it.
864
01:09:01,300 --> 01:09:05,900
I said I'd turn you into prom queen
when I thought you were ugly...
865
01:09:06,100 --> 01:09:11,600
...the girl with no friends who was
dirt poor and smelled a little funky.
866
01:09:11,800 --> 01:09:14,200
Look, I made a mistake.
867
01:09:14,500 --> 01:09:18,600
If I could go back, I never would've
made that stupid bet.
868
01:09:21,800 --> 01:09:23,900
What bet?
869
01:09:26,900 --> 01:09:30,400
I never said anything about a bet.
870
01:09:40,300 --> 01:09:41,500
All I said was:
871
01:09:41,700 --> 01:09:43,600
" I'm pretending to whisper...
872
01:09:43,800 --> 01:09:48,900
...so Jake thinks I'm telling you
a secret and will confess...
873
01:09:49,200 --> 01:09:54,600
...revealing a secret and confirming
everything I whispered in your ear."
874
01:10:20,500 --> 01:10:23,900
I wish I didn't make that bet
875
01:10:24,100 --> 01:10:27,700
That's not the guy I want to be
876
01:10:27,900 --> 01:10:31,400
If I could just turn back the clock
877
01:10:31,600 --> 01:10:36,500
Then Janey would still be with me
878
01:10:39,500 --> 01:10:42,600
Tell me, Mom, what should I do?
879
01:10:43,000 --> 01:10:44,400
I love this boy
880
01:10:44,700 --> 01:10:49,600
But he has been untrue
881
01:10:52,300 --> 01:10:55,400
I'll do my best to make things right
882
01:10:56,200 --> 01:10:59,900
I wish we could resolve this fight
883
01:11:00,700 --> 01:11:02,500
It could happen
884
01:11:02,800 --> 01:11:04,200
It could happen
885
01:11:04,400 --> 01:11:08,500
- At the prom tonight
- At the prom tonight
886
01:11:14,100 --> 01:11:17,000
I'm getting pussy no matter what
887
01:11:17,300 --> 01:11:20,000
Even if it with dirty slut
888
01:11:20,300 --> 01:11:22,900
True love is what I want the most
889
01:11:23,100 --> 01:11:26,700
I just jerked off in your French toast
890
01:11:27,300 --> 01:11:31,800
So what if we have the same mother
891
01:11:33,200 --> 01:11:38,300
Tonight I'm gonna fuck my brother
892
01:11:38,700 --> 01:11:41,500
In a few hours
I'll be queen of the prom
893
01:11:44,500 --> 01:11:48,100
I've been an alcoholic
Since my first tour in Nam
894
01:11:50,400 --> 01:11:54,200
I asked Janey to the prom
And she doesn't know why
895
01:11:56,600 --> 01:12:00,200
I'm only in the song because
I'm a black guy
896
01:12:03,600 --> 01:12:08,400
I have no money
I have to make my own dress
897
01:12:10,200 --> 01:12:15,200
Look at me, my breasts are perky, yes
898
01:12:16,000 --> 01:12:19,000
I'm gonna win her back
No matter what it takes
899
01:12:19,200 --> 01:12:23,900
Here I go, I'm gonna
Forget about Jake
900
01:12:27,300 --> 01:12:29,100
Prom tonight
901
01:12:31,200 --> 01:12:33,000
Prom tonight
902
01:12:34,500 --> 01:12:35,900
Prom tonight
903
01:12:41,400 --> 01:12:44,000
It's gonna happen, gonna happen
904
01:12:47,700 --> 01:12:52,200
At the prom
905
01:12:54,700 --> 01:12:55,700
Tonight
906
01:13:18,300 --> 01:13:19,500
Hi, Ricky.
907
01:13:19,700 --> 01:13:21,500
Thanks. See you in English.
908
01:13:21,700 --> 01:13:23,800
Oh, but we're graduated.
909
01:13:24,000 --> 01:13:26,700
All right, can you...? I'm not...
No, can you take it ba...?
910
01:13:26,900 --> 01:13:29,100
Can you please not...? All right.
911
01:13:38,900 --> 01:13:44,900
When I was a freshman,
I threw 176 touchdown passes.
912
01:13:45,200 --> 01:13:50,500
My sophomore year, I ran 14 in
on my own with a sprained ankle...
913
01:13:50,700 --> 01:13:55,000
...a broken phalange, a ruptured
duodenum and subdermal haematoma.
914
01:13:55,600 --> 01:13:57,700
When I was a junior,
I won the science fair...
915
01:13:57,900 --> 01:14:00,000
...for running a Volkswagen Bug
off a potato.
916
01:14:00,200 --> 01:14:06,800
Most recently, I was a star of the
Greco-Roman Wrestling Federation.
917
01:14:24,900 --> 01:14:27,100
I bet she great bonk.
918
01:14:27,400 --> 01:14:30,700
Excuse me, Bruce? No.
You don't bonk Amanda Becker.
919
01:14:31,300 --> 01:14:35,100
You make sweet, sweet love to her.
920
01:14:35,800 --> 01:14:38,000
Amanda Becker's like a flower.
921
01:14:38,700 --> 01:14:40,200
You smell her.
922
01:14:40,400 --> 01:14:42,300
You touch her gently.
923
01:14:42,900 --> 01:14:47,400
You admire the beauty.
You watch it blossom.
924
01:14:48,100 --> 01:14:52,500
And you thank God he created
something so perfect.
925
01:14:55,300 --> 01:14:56,700
Go to her.
926
01:15:09,300 --> 01:15:11,300
Be strong, Mitch!
927
01:15:24,500 --> 01:15:27,200
What do you expect from me?
928
01:15:27,800 --> 01:15:32,400
- Do you think I'll have sex with you?
- No! You don't understand.
929
01:15:32,600 --> 01:15:34,700
Because I am not a cheap slut.
930
01:15:34,900 --> 01:15:39,400
I don't screw every pathetic guy
that gives me a letter.
931
01:15:41,600 --> 01:15:44,100
I give them hand jobs.
932
01:15:51,800 --> 01:15:55,400
- Want to dance?
- Only if we're horizontal.
933
01:15:56,000 --> 01:15:58,600
I totally heard that.
934
01:16:11,900 --> 01:16:14,000
We're dancing.
935
01:16:35,300 --> 01:16:36,400
It's funny.
936
01:16:36,600 --> 01:16:40,500
You'd never suspect everyone
here is a professional dancer.
937
01:16:54,700 --> 01:16:56,000
Oh, God. No.
938
01:16:56,300 --> 01:16:58,400
I want to do it here
on the dance floor.
939
01:16:58,600 --> 01:16:59,700
Janey!
940
01:16:59,900 --> 01:17:03,700
Don't you forget our deal.
She wins, you're mine.
941
01:17:15,500 --> 01:17:19,600
And now the moment every
popular guy who's made a bet...
942
01:17:19,800 --> 01:17:24,400
...to turn a rebellious girl
into prom queen has been waiting for:
943
01:17:24,600 --> 01:17:27,900
The announcement
of the prom king and queen.
944
01:17:28,200 --> 01:17:30,700
This year's prom king is...
945
01:17:31,400 --> 01:17:32,400
Marty!
946
01:17:33,100 --> 01:17:35,400
...Jake Wyler!
947
01:17:49,800 --> 01:17:51,200
Way to go, Jake!
948
01:17:51,800 --> 01:17:54,700
This year's prom queen is...
949
01:17:54,900 --> 01:17:56,800
You got it, Priscilla!
950
01:17:57,000 --> 01:17:59,900
I don't believe it. It's a tie.
951
01:18:00,100 --> 01:18:01,400
A tie?
952
01:18:01,700 --> 01:18:03,300
- Holy shit!
- Oh, my God.
953
01:18:05,000 --> 01:18:07,300
Your new prom queens are...
954
01:18:08,800 --> 01:18:12,200
- ...Kara and Sara Fratelli.
- Fuck.
955
01:18:13,300 --> 01:18:17,100
- Oh, my God!
- They deserve it.
956
01:18:19,500 --> 01:18:20,800
Congratulations!
957
01:18:23,200 --> 01:18:26,800
There we go! Your king and queen.
958
01:18:33,100 --> 01:18:36,200
I say we make like a tree
and branch...
959
01:18:37,200 --> 01:18:39,200
...out of here.
960
01:18:40,600 --> 01:18:42,200
All right, Kara and Sara.
961
01:18:42,500 --> 01:18:46,100
Now it is traditional
for the king and queen...
962
01:18:46,300 --> 01:18:49,900
- ...to share a ceremonial dance.
- Come here.
963
01:18:51,200 --> 01:18:56,200
Put your heads on my shoulder
964
01:19:00,400 --> 01:19:02,000
You smell good.
965
01:19:15,600 --> 01:19:16,900
Janey!
966
01:19:21,700 --> 01:19:23,900
Do you know where Austin went?
967
01:19:24,100 --> 01:19:28,100
I know he rented a room at
the Sunrise Motel. Room number six.
968
01:19:28,300 --> 01:19:32,500
Past the ice dispenser. Hit the
Pepsi machine, you went too far.
969
01:19:32,700 --> 01:19:35,200
Oh, and the door will not be locked.
970
01:19:37,300 --> 01:19:39,200
That's all I know.
971
01:19:40,400 --> 01:19:42,300
Thanks, Malik.
972
01:19:44,000 --> 01:19:48,800
You're intelligent and insightful.
You don't get the respect you deserve.
973
01:19:51,600 --> 01:19:53,800
You really mean that, Jake?
974
01:19:54,000 --> 01:19:57,200
That's great! I've always wanted
to discuss...
975
01:19:57,400 --> 01:19:59,700
I actually got to go. Sorry.
976
01:20:00,000 --> 01:20:01,100
Motherfucker.
977
01:20:01,300 --> 01:20:03,100
Hold it right there, mister.
978
01:20:03,600 --> 01:20:08,900
I am not going to let you hurt Janey
again, okay? Besides, I love her.
979
01:20:09,100 --> 01:20:10,200
Well, so do I.
980
01:20:11,100 --> 01:20:15,800
But I'm the best friend, and I've
been in front of her the whole time...
981
01:20:16,000 --> 01:20:20,200
...and she just doesn't realize
it yet, but she will.
982
01:20:20,600 --> 01:20:24,100
I'm the cool guy who's learned
the error of his ways.
983
01:20:24,500 --> 01:20:27,800
She'll forgive my mistakes
and realize I love her.
984
01:20:29,600 --> 01:20:31,100
Damn it. That's true.
985
01:20:46,100 --> 01:20:49,300
Why's this door locked?
It's a fire hazard!
986
01:21:04,600 --> 01:21:06,600
Get out of the road!
987
01:21:06,900 --> 01:21:08,300
Hey, watch it, man!
988
01:21:09,500 --> 01:21:11,800
She's not attracted to you!
989
01:21:12,500 --> 01:21:14,200
She doesn't love you!
990
01:21:15,200 --> 01:21:17,700
You'll never be more than a friend!
991
01:21:18,800 --> 01:21:20,900
Two dollars!
992
01:21:30,000 --> 01:21:32,200
Ice dispenser.
993
01:21:32,400 --> 01:21:33,700
Six.
994
01:21:34,200 --> 01:21:38,300
Yeah! I'll make you forget all
about losing prom queen.
995
01:21:38,500 --> 01:21:42,000
Tell me who your daddy is!
Tell me who your papa is!
996
01:21:44,600 --> 01:21:46,800
Get off her, man!
997
01:21:47,100 --> 01:21:48,200
Priscilla.
998
01:21:48,400 --> 01:21:49,900
Don't move.
999
01:21:54,800 --> 01:21:57,500
- What's going on?
- Something beautiful.
1000
01:21:58,500 --> 01:22:01,700
- Where's Janey?
- Miss Run-Home-to-My-Daddy...
1001
01:22:01,900 --> 01:22:04,700
...ran home to her daddy.
1002
01:22:05,600 --> 01:22:09,200
- That's for taking Janey to the prom.
- You put the...
1003
01:22:09,400 --> 01:22:14,200
- That's for hurting her at the party!
- This is really turning me on.
1004
01:22:14,700 --> 01:22:17,500
That's for being really weird.
1005
01:22:17,700 --> 01:22:19,200
Thank you.
1006
01:22:24,700 --> 01:22:27,100
I don't know what that was for.
1007
01:22:35,300 --> 01:22:39,400
- Oh, me so horny.
- Oh, me so horny.
1008
01:22:41,100 --> 01:22:45,500
You nerd who can't get pussy
from American girl?
1009
01:22:45,700 --> 01:22:47,800
You smart cookie. How you know?
1010
01:22:48,000 --> 01:22:49,600
I know.
1011
01:22:49,800 --> 01:22:54,500
You follow me,
I give you sucky-sucky.
1012
01:22:58,400 --> 01:23:01,200
Hey! What's everybody
standing around for?
1013
01:23:01,500 --> 01:23:03,900
Come on. Join the fun!
1014
01:23:06,200 --> 01:23:08,000
Watch me!
1015
01:23:09,100 --> 01:23:11,400
Get footloose everybody! Yeah!
1016
01:23:11,600 --> 01:23:14,400
One, two, three.
Come on, you can...
1017
01:23:15,100 --> 01:23:16,800
Kick him in the butt!
1018
01:23:22,700 --> 01:23:24,400
Hello.
1019
01:23:26,300 --> 01:23:27,400
Hi.
1020
01:23:28,800 --> 01:23:32,200
I never thought I'd hear myself
say this...
1021
01:23:32,600 --> 01:23:38,100
...but for once, I wish I could meet
a nice, sensitive guy...
1022
01:23:38,300 --> 01:23:41,100
...who wanted more than just sex.
1023
01:23:42,700 --> 01:23:45,400
That is very admirable.
1024
01:23:48,300 --> 01:23:51,000
I wish a guy would
take me out for dinner.
1025
01:23:51,600 --> 01:23:53,200
I feel the same way.
1026
01:23:55,400 --> 01:23:57,100
And for once...
1027
01:23:59,200 --> 01:24:03,400
...I wish a guy would take a dump
on my chest.
1028
01:24:05,500 --> 01:24:07,400
That is appalling.
1029
01:24:11,700 --> 01:24:13,700
That really upsets me.
1030
01:24:15,200 --> 01:24:19,200
I can't believe nobody's ever taken
a dump on your chest.
1031
01:24:22,900 --> 01:24:24,500
Will you be that guy?
1032
01:24:31,300 --> 01:24:34,800
It would be an honour
and a privilege.
1033
01:24:45,400 --> 01:24:47,200
Janey!
1034
01:24:50,500 --> 01:24:51,500
Hello?
1035
01:24:52,500 --> 01:24:54,300
Is anybody home?
1036
01:24:54,900 --> 01:24:57,300
Get down! Enemy fire!
1037
01:24:58,700 --> 01:25:00,400
Mr. Briggs?
1038
01:25:00,600 --> 01:25:03,600
Excuse me, sir.
Do you know where Janey is?
1039
01:25:03,800 --> 01:25:08,300
She went out there. On her own.
There's Charlie everywhere.
1040
01:25:08,800 --> 01:25:11,200
Right. Do you know where she went?
1041
01:25:11,600 --> 01:25:14,200
Couldn't take it. Went to the airport.
1042
01:25:14,400 --> 01:25:19,100
Something about Paris.
Her tour was over.
1043
01:25:19,400 --> 01:25:21,600
Paris. Thank you, sir.
1044
01:25:22,100 --> 01:25:25,700
I need ammo! I can't hold them off
much longer!
1045
01:25:33,600 --> 01:25:35,600
She's not here.
1046
01:25:35,800 --> 01:25:37,900
Went to the airport.
1047
01:25:39,100 --> 01:25:40,500
Thanks.
1048
01:25:40,700 --> 01:25:42,400
You're welcome.
1049
01:25:48,900 --> 01:25:51,900
Off the road, you glasses
and ponytail freak!
1050
01:26:05,100 --> 01:26:06,400
Two dollars!
1051
01:26:06,600 --> 01:26:08,800
- Two dollars!
- Two dollars!
1052
01:26:15,200 --> 01:26:17,300
Next stop, airport.
1053
01:26:17,600 --> 01:26:22,100
The red zone is for the loading
and unloading of passengers.
1054
01:26:22,400 --> 01:26:23,800
No parking.
1055
01:26:24,000 --> 01:26:25,200
Attention, please.
1056
01:26:25,500 --> 01:26:30,800
All red Porsche 944s parked in the
white zone will be towed immediately.
1057
01:26:36,100 --> 01:26:39,600
Paris Air, flight 805 to art school
in Paris...
1058
01:26:39,800 --> 01:26:42,100
...from gate 122, is now boarding.
1059
01:26:55,600 --> 01:26:57,900
Excuse me, everyone!
1060
01:26:58,500 --> 01:27:02,700
There's a girl boarding a plane
right now to Paris that I love.
1061
01:27:04,400 --> 01:27:08,000
If I don't get there in time
and tell her how I feel...
1062
01:27:08,200 --> 01:27:10,800
...I may never see her again.
1063
01:27:14,700 --> 01:27:15,800
Go get her, son.
1064
01:27:16,900 --> 01:27:18,200
Good luck, young man.
1065
01:27:20,700 --> 01:27:22,400
- Go get her!
- Go for it.
1066
01:27:25,000 --> 01:27:26,400
Oh, hell, just go.
1067
01:27:29,200 --> 01:27:30,300
Freeze, bitch!
1068
01:27:41,200 --> 01:27:43,700
You're bleeding on my suitcase.
1069
01:27:49,700 --> 01:27:51,000
Excuse me!
1070
01:27:52,100 --> 01:27:53,500
Excuse me, everyone!
1071
01:27:54,100 --> 01:27:59,500
There's a girl about to board a plane
to Paris right now that I love...
1072
01:27:59,700 --> 01:28:03,300
We already heard that one. Asshole.
1073
01:28:05,200 --> 01:28:08,800
This is the final call for Paris Air
flight 805 to art school...
1074
01:28:10,300 --> 01:28:12,600
...departing from gate 122.
1075
01:28:12,800 --> 01:28:14,400
Janey!
1076
01:28:15,500 --> 01:28:17,700
Hey, shithead, that's mine.
1077
01:28:17,900 --> 01:28:19,200
Give it back!
1078
01:28:19,600 --> 01:28:23,900
Just believe in the ball, Jake.
And throw yourself.
1079
01:28:24,700 --> 01:28:25,900
Yeah.
1080
01:28:35,500 --> 01:28:36,500
Yes!
1081
01:28:36,700 --> 01:28:38,100
Nice shot, Jake.
1082
01:28:40,600 --> 01:28:41,700
- Jake?
- Janey.
1083
01:28:42,000 --> 01:28:44,400
Thank God I got to you in time.
Listen to me.
1084
01:28:44,800 --> 01:28:47,000
I'm not going to let you go to Paris.
1085
01:28:47,700 --> 01:28:50,400
- This is the final call...
- Why not?
1086
01:28:50,600 --> 01:28:52,800
...for flight 805 to art school.
1087
01:28:53,100 --> 01:28:58,700
If you're finding words to stop a girl
from leaving, now would be the time.
1088
01:28:58,900 --> 01:29:00,500
Janey...
1089
01:29:02,000 --> 01:29:05,700
...I made that bet before I knew you.
1090
01:29:07,100 --> 01:29:09,300
Before I really knew me.
1091
01:29:11,200 --> 01:29:12,400
Oh, Jake.
1092
01:29:14,400 --> 01:29:16,200
Okay, hold it right there.
1093
01:29:20,400 --> 01:29:23,600
Tell me you didn't quote
Freddie Prinze Jr.
1094
01:29:25,600 --> 01:29:29,300
I knew it. That was a line
from She's All That.
1095
01:29:29,600 --> 01:29:32,100
I masturbate to that movie.
1096
01:29:35,500 --> 01:29:36,500
Do you mind?
1097
01:29:36,700 --> 01:29:39,700
No, not at all.
Masturbation's very healthy.
1098
01:29:39,900 --> 01:29:41,500
No, stay out of it.
1099
01:29:41,700 --> 01:29:43,800
Oh, I'm sorry.
I just had to say something.
1100
01:29:44,000 --> 01:29:46,000
I couldn't help myself. Go on.
1101
01:29:46,200 --> 01:29:47,700
Thank you.
1102
01:29:48,500 --> 01:29:53,700
Janey, you said you couldn't believe
in someone that didn't believe in you.
1103
01:29:53,900 --> 01:29:57,900
Well, I believed in you.
I always believed in you.
1104
01:29:59,100 --> 01:30:00,300
Oh, Jake.
1105
01:30:01,100 --> 01:30:04,900
Oh, God. I can't believe
you fell for that crap.
1106
01:30:05,100 --> 01:30:07,600
- That's Pretty in Pink.
- Are you sure?
1107
01:30:08,300 --> 01:30:09,500
Trust me.
1108
01:30:09,700 --> 01:30:15,000
- Excuse me. What are you doing?
- Let me give you some advice, Jake.
1109
01:30:15,200 --> 01:30:19,100
Lose the I'm-the-cute-and-sensitive-
popular-boy routine.
1110
01:30:19,300 --> 01:30:20,400
It's pathetic.
1111
01:30:20,600 --> 01:30:23,900
And tell Janey
what's true in your heart.
1112
01:30:24,100 --> 01:30:25,900
Stop being such a little bitch.
1113
01:30:27,600 --> 01:30:28,800
But I was just trying to...
1114
01:30:29,000 --> 01:30:31,800
Don't even use that eyebrow move
on me. It's not gonna work.
1115
01:30:32,000 --> 01:30:33,500
You do overuse that move.
1116
01:30:33,700 --> 01:30:35,100
And you.
1117
01:30:35,300 --> 01:30:39,000
Miss Other-Side-of-the-Tracks-
Awkward-Rebel-With-Glasses.
1118
01:30:39,400 --> 01:30:44,000
Wise up to Jake's bullshit.
Stop being such a dumb-ass.
1119
01:30:47,500 --> 01:30:48,900
She's right.
1120
01:30:49,600 --> 01:30:51,800
- Janey...
- Yes, Jake?
1121
01:30:54,500 --> 01:30:58,000
Maybe you should get on that plane
and go to Paris.
1122
01:30:59,400 --> 01:31:03,100
Well, if you stay,
we really only have the summer.
1123
01:31:03,300 --> 01:31:07,600
Then I go to college. We'll spend
the occasional weekend together.
1124
01:31:07,800 --> 01:31:09,500
Which is nice.
1125
01:31:09,700 --> 01:31:14,200
But chances are, one night I'll get
wrecked and have sex with some girl.
1126
01:31:14,400 --> 01:31:16,400
You'll call me a slut.
1127
01:31:16,600 --> 01:31:19,900
I'll call you a cock-tease,
and we'll break up.
1128
01:31:20,100 --> 01:31:23,800
So when you really think about it,
what's the point?
1129
01:31:26,800 --> 01:31:33,200
Well, that wasn't exactly the kind
of truth I was expecting.
1130
01:31:34,300 --> 01:31:38,600
But I'm not gonna fall for it. How big
a dumb-ass do you think I am?
1131
01:31:39,300 --> 01:31:42,400
You obviously stole that
from Karate Kid.
1132
01:31:42,600 --> 01:31:44,400
No, actually, I...
1133
01:31:45,000 --> 01:31:47,900
Jake, it's okay.
1134
01:31:48,100 --> 01:31:49,800
I love you too.
1135
01:31:50,000 --> 01:31:51,800
We all know where this is going.
1136
01:31:52,000 --> 01:31:54,600
Fucking teenagers.
1137
01:32:04,200 --> 01:32:05,400
This is it.
1138
01:32:05,600 --> 01:32:07,100
The right moment.
1139
01:32:22,400 --> 01:32:23,900
Son of a bitch!
1140
01:32:40,600 --> 01:32:44,000
Well, Mitch, I learned
a very valuable lesson.
1141
01:32:44,200 --> 01:32:47,200
I realized I don't really wanna
get involved with a girl...
1142
01:32:47,400 --> 01:32:49,300
...unless I'm really in love with her.
1143
01:32:50,800 --> 01:32:52,300
Yeah.
1144
01:32:53,500 --> 01:32:56,600
Nice try, Ox.
We know you took it in the ass.
1145
01:32:58,400 --> 01:33:01,900
Believe it or not,
I, too, learned a valuable lesson.
1146
01:33:02,100 --> 01:33:04,300
Bruce, your accent.
What happened?
1147
01:33:04,600 --> 01:33:07,200
You see, I realized
that the best way to get the girl...
1148
01:33:07,400 --> 01:33:09,000
...is to just be yourself.
1149
01:33:09,200 --> 01:33:13,200
For most people that would be
a very valuable lesson.
1150
01:33:13,400 --> 01:33:16,300
But in your case,
I'd stick to being Chinese.
1151
01:33:16,500 --> 01:33:17,900
Japanese.
1152
01:33:18,100 --> 01:33:19,500
So, what'd you learn
last night?
1153
01:33:20,000 --> 01:33:23,200
Gentlemen, I learned
the greatest lesson of all.
1154
01:33:23,400 --> 01:33:25,800
That unlike everyone else
in these teen movies...
1155
01:33:26,000 --> 01:33:29,000
...I don't wanna learn
some dumb-ass valuable lesson.
1156
01:33:29,200 --> 01:33:30,600
I still wanna fuck!
1157
01:33:30,800 --> 01:33:33,000
- Hey.
- All right.
1158
01:39:32,400 --> 01:39:33,900
Ready?
1159
01:39:34,100 --> 01:39:36,100
And action!
1160
01:39:36,300 --> 01:39:38,400
Come on, Austin.
1161
01:39:39,700 --> 01:39:42,400
- Holy shit!
- I'm a fucking god!
85062
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