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[discordant piano notes]
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[light percussive music]
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♪
4
00:00:21,656 --> 00:00:24,624
[phone chimes]
5
00:00:24,659 --> 00:00:25,625
[scoffs]
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00:00:25,660 --> 00:00:31,598
♪
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[Rufus grunting]
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[light chime]
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Is there a game tonight?
10
00:00:39,586 --> 00:00:41,320
It's not cool having secret games
11
00:00:41,354 --> 00:00:42,565
you don't tell me about, Rufus...
12
00:00:42,589 --> 00:00:43,733
I'm not here for the poker.
13
00:00:43,757 --> 00:00:45,067
I'm just here to hide from Garrett
14
00:00:45,091 --> 00:00:46,525
and his incessant planning.
15
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He keeps sending me emails
16
00:00:47,961 --> 00:00:49,261
to see if I got his emails.
17
00:00:49,296 --> 00:00:51,063
I know! It's a trip to Big Bear,
18
00:00:51,097 --> 00:00:53,132
not the plot to "Inception."
19
00:00:53,166 --> 00:00:55,030
I love these piña coladas.
20
00:00:55,055 --> 00:00:56,273
You know, it's the
only way I can get lit
21
00:00:56,298 --> 00:00:59,240
- and still make my deliveries.
- Hey, you don't need to fake drink
22
00:00:59,265 --> 00:01:01,187
- to have a fake good time.
- Disagree.
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Ugh, I cannot wait for this trip.
24
00:01:03,464 --> 00:01:05,231
I'm so sick of my apartment.
25
00:01:05,265 --> 00:01:06,399
I miss people.
26
00:01:06,757 --> 00:01:08,735
For a while the deliveries
were taking the edge off,
27
00:01:08,769 --> 00:01:09,979
but now people don't
even come to the door.
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00:01:10,003 --> 00:01:11,114
They just leave a little sign
29
00:01:11,138 --> 00:01:12,772
that says "leave food on porch."
30
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Mine just says "no."
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Speaking of, uh, human interaction,
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you heard from Annie?
33
00:01:17,125 --> 00:01:18,759
She's been radio silent lately.
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Huh.
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00:01:19,782 --> 00:01:22,558
You know, Ben's been strangely
non-participatory as well.
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You don't think they're being
strangely non-participatory
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00:01:25,576 --> 00:01:26,809
together, do you?
38
00:01:26,834 --> 00:01:28,868
I mean, I kinda do now.
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00:01:28,922 --> 00:01:31,067
Ugh, I wish they would just
get it over with and smash.
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Cis sexual tension just tires me.
41
00:01:33,694 --> 00:01:34,827
You know? Me too.
42
00:01:34,862 --> 00:01:35,902
- [light chime]
- What, what!
43
00:01:35,929 --> 00:01:38,664
- Hey!
- Whoo!
44
00:01:38,699 --> 00:01:40,466
We think Ben and Annie hooked up!
45
00:01:40,501 --> 00:01:43,664
What? Yes! Finally! Bannie!
46
00:01:43,689 --> 00:01:46,139
Wait, are we all hiding
from Garrett in here?
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- 100%.
- Hiding, drinking...
48
00:01:48,308 --> 00:01:51,085
Look, after watching Amy
Cooper almost kill a Black man
49
00:01:51,110 --> 00:01:52,979
and a dog today, I could sit through
50
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100 Garrett PowerPoint presentations
51
00:01:55,329 --> 00:01:57,726
just to escape the madness for a bit.
52
00:01:57,751 --> 00:01:59,820
Rufus! You're too far away.
53
00:01:59,845 --> 00:02:01,888
- Come give me a hug.
- No, no, no, no, no.
54
00:02:01,922 --> 00:02:02,966
Michelle, you know
how I feel about hugs.
55
00:02:02,990 --> 00:02:05,265
Yes, and I'm actively
choosing to ignore you.
56
00:02:05,290 --> 00:02:07,426
[smooching] Hugs, hugs, hugs.
57
00:02:07,461 --> 00:02:08,523
Hugs with people.
58
00:02:08,555 --> 00:02:10,882
- Hugs, hugs, hugs.
- For real?
59
00:02:10,907 --> 00:02:12,965
No. For virtual.
60
00:02:13,000 --> 00:02:14,200
You've been hiding from me?
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00:02:14,234 --> 00:02:15,968
That's not why I got you these headsets.
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00:02:16,003 --> 00:02:18,289
Yes, but it is a wonderful bonus.
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00:02:18,314 --> 00:02:20,295
Big Bear PowerPoint starts in five.
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00:02:20,330 --> 00:02:22,531
I need everyone to be
present and focused.
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00:02:22,556 --> 00:02:25,373
I have planned this
trip to the last detail.
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00:02:25,398 --> 00:02:27,660
One misstep, one person messes up,
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00:02:27,694 --> 00:02:30,022
and the whole thing is ruined.
68
00:02:30,054 --> 00:02:33,056
Traveling during a pandemic
is not fun and games.
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00:02:33,084 --> 00:02:35,285
I need everyone to take this seriously.
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00:02:35,319 --> 00:02:37,179
[splat]
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00:02:40,001 --> 00:02:41,534
[rapid firing]
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- [sighs]
- [chuckles]
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00:02:43,494 --> 00:02:44,594
[laser hums]
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00:02:44,629 --> 00:02:45,662
Uh-oh! Uh-oh!
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00:02:45,696 --> 00:02:48,031
[laughter, shouting]
76
00:02:48,055 --> 00:02:52,693
- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe -
-- for www.addic7ed.com --
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00:02:52,718 --> 00:02:56,239
In a world where it's
unsafe to leave your homes,
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00:02:56,273 --> 00:02:59,542
one group of friends
would redefine our notions
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00:02:59,577 --> 00:03:01,711
of extra-precautionary measures
80
00:03:01,746 --> 00:03:04,247
in order to prepare for...
81
00:03:04,281 --> 00:03:06,449
Operation Big Bear.
82
00:03:06,484 --> 00:03:08,051
[laughter, cheers]
83
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Yes! We made it!
84
00:03:09,920 --> 00:03:13,323
In 24 hours, our safe bubble commences.
85
00:03:13,357 --> 00:03:15,125
Yes! Human contact!
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Adult, non-husband human contact.
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00:03:17,642 --> 00:03:20,110
Anxiety-inducing human contact.
88
00:03:20,135 --> 00:03:22,208
I need this so bad.
89
00:03:22,233 --> 00:03:26,236
2020 has been like a constant
steady stream of body blows,
90
00:03:26,261 --> 00:03:28,362
and this trip is giving
me something to live for!
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00:03:28,387 --> 00:03:30,688
Can I renew my strenuous objections?
92
00:03:30,713 --> 00:03:31,917
None of us have Type O blood;
93
00:03:31,942 --> 00:03:33,906
if we get this thing, we're all dead.
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00:03:33,931 --> 00:03:35,368
Wait, are you backing out?
95
00:03:35,413 --> 00:03:37,113
No, I'm backing in...
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00:03:37,148 --> 00:03:40,316
to my sealed and sterilized tent
I'll be setting up in New York.
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00:03:40,351 --> 00:03:41,618
If any of you need me,
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00:03:41,652 --> 00:03:43,030
I'll join all group
activities from my phone.
99
00:03:43,054 --> 00:03:45,388
Rufus, you still think it's dangerous?
100
00:03:45,423 --> 00:03:47,007
Come on, we've been so good!
101
00:03:47,032 --> 00:03:48,391
No, I don't think. I know.
102
00:03:48,416 --> 00:03:50,250
Well, this is actually a good segue
103
00:03:50,275 --> 00:03:53,226
into my first slide.
104
00:03:56,300 --> 00:03:58,935
And y'all have, so give
yourselves a pat on the back.
105
00:03:58,969 --> 00:04:01,037
Now, I know that it's been hard
106
00:04:01,072 --> 00:04:03,506
doing my ultra-tight
14-day quarantine,
107
00:04:03,541 --> 00:04:07,110
but now it is time to reap the rewards.
108
00:04:07,144 --> 00:04:09,312
- Yes!
- Oh, come to papa.
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00:04:09,346 --> 00:04:11,247
Seven beds, nine baths,
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00:04:11,282 --> 00:04:13,650
a pool and a hot tub
overlooking the lake.
111
00:04:13,684 --> 00:04:15,385
- [cheering]
- And it would not be
112
00:04:15,419 --> 00:04:19,165
Scandinavian design without a sauna.
113
00:04:19,190 --> 00:04:21,958
Your sacrifices have not been in vain.
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00:04:21,992 --> 00:04:25,428
Tomorrow, we will escape
our dystopian existence,
115
00:04:25,570 --> 00:04:26,906
flee this city,
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00:04:26,931 --> 00:04:29,332
and give each other hugs for realsies.
117
00:04:29,366 --> 00:04:31,267
Except for Rufus who hates hugs
118
00:04:31,292 --> 00:04:32,625
and will be in a tent.
119
00:04:32,650 --> 00:04:34,617
Now, supplies.
120
00:04:34,642 --> 00:04:37,593
Who has brought forth the Lysol Wipes?
121
00:04:38,234 --> 00:04:39,642
See? This is why I didn't want
122
00:04:39,677 --> 00:04:40,854
to start without Ben and Annie.
123
00:04:40,878 --> 00:04:42,492
This is their department.
124
00:04:42,680 --> 00:04:44,447
What's going on, guys?
Where's Ben and Annie?
125
00:04:44,482 --> 00:04:46,804
We have our suspicions.
126
00:04:47,051 --> 00:04:48,351
Hey, guys. Sorry I'm late.
127
00:04:48,385 --> 00:04:50,920
Apology accepted.
Where are the Lysol Wipes?
128
00:04:50,955 --> 00:04:52,476
Annie's got them. I
talked to her earlier.
129
00:04:52,501 --> 00:04:53,781
[gasps]
130
00:04:54,258 --> 00:04:55,792
Was she not supposed to get them?
131
00:04:55,826 --> 00:04:57,327
You got your hair done.
132
00:04:57,361 --> 00:04:59,229
Oh! Yeah, I did.
133
00:04:59,254 --> 00:05:00,321
I-I did it myself.
134
00:05:00,364 --> 00:05:02,342
You know, it took a long
time, but I got it done...
135
00:05:02,366 --> 00:05:04,377
Brother man, you went from
Tim Meadows to Allen Iverson.
136
00:05:04,401 --> 00:05:06,936
- You did not do that yourself.
- And you got lined up.
137
00:05:06,970 --> 00:05:08,481
You know you can't use your left hand.
138
00:05:08,506 --> 00:05:10,473
Yes, I can! I've been practicing.
139
00:05:10,508 --> 00:05:12,242
There is no way you
did that by yourself!
140
00:05:12,284 --> 00:05:14,252
If you don't tell all
of us what is going on,
141
00:05:14,278 --> 00:05:16,579
I will start a podcast
until I solve this mystery.
142
00:05:16,614 --> 00:05:18,248
Ben, did you maybe get some help?
143
00:05:18,292 --> 00:05:21,127
Yeah, maybe someone did it for you?
144
00:05:21,152 --> 00:05:23,096
We haven't really heard
from you or Annie recently.
145
00:05:23,120 --> 00:05:25,121
- Did you maybe...
- Okay, fine! You got me.
146
00:05:25,156 --> 00:05:27,090
All right, we went to the barbershop,
147
00:05:27,124 --> 00:05:29,325
- but they were extra...
- Wait, I heard a "we" in there!
148
00:05:29,360 --> 00:05:30,627
- Guys, I...
- Oh, "we"!
149
00:05:30,661 --> 00:05:31,928
Wait!
150
00:05:31,962 --> 00:05:33,763
Together: A barbershop?
151
00:05:33,798 --> 00:05:35,732
Michelle, did your brother just say
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00:05:35,766 --> 00:05:37,867
he broke my very clear
quarantine instructions
153
00:05:37,902 --> 00:05:40,367
- to go to the barbershop?
- Relax!
154
00:05:40,392 --> 00:05:43,154
Okay, everything was outdoors.
They never took the mask off. I'm good.
155
00:05:43,179 --> 00:05:44,841
Typical B-positive.
156
00:05:44,875 --> 00:05:47,510
You are the Pisces of blood types!
157
00:05:47,554 --> 00:05:48,687
Breathe, baby.
158
00:05:48,712 --> 00:05:49,946
Do you smell pennies?
159
00:05:49,980 --> 00:05:52,782
Ben, how dare you pollute
my extreme excitement for you
160
00:05:52,817 --> 00:05:54,651
with my extreme disappointment in you?
161
00:05:54,685 --> 00:05:56,719
Were the rules strict? Yes.
162
00:05:56,754 --> 00:05:58,288
Yes, they were,
163
00:05:58,313 --> 00:05:59,780
but we all followed them anyway
164
00:05:59,824 --> 00:06:02,500
because this was important to Garrett.
165
00:06:02,693 --> 00:06:06,296
- And more importantly, to me.
- And more importantly for me!
166
00:06:06,330 --> 00:06:09,532
I needed this, and you wrecked
it with your mysterious "we,"
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00:06:09,567 --> 00:06:10,934
which I'm also excited about,
168
00:06:10,968 --> 00:06:12,902
and your weird, celebratory
haircut afterwards.
169
00:06:12,937 --> 00:06:15,071
Very excited and very disappointed.
170
00:06:15,096 --> 00:06:16,908
Pradeep, are you really
doing this right now?
171
00:06:16,951 --> 00:06:19,552
Yes! I call out
injustice when I see it...
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00:06:19,577 --> 00:06:21,211
When you know good and damn well
173
00:06:21,245 --> 00:06:22,912
you brought your housekeeper back.
174
00:06:22,937 --> 00:06:24,170
Oh!
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00:06:25,515 --> 00:06:26,927
This is really about Ben, Garrett.
176
00:06:26,951 --> 00:06:28,351
I want you to remember that.
177
00:06:28,376 --> 00:06:29,910
Pradeep, is this true?
178
00:06:30,273 --> 00:06:32,956
I had a weak moment. Okay?
179
00:06:32,990 --> 00:06:35,491
One time, like two weeks ago.
180
00:06:35,516 --> 00:06:37,684
[vacuum whirring]
181
00:06:37,728 --> 00:06:39,562
Which is when
182
00:06:39,597 --> 00:06:42,198
we scheduled weekly visits, so...
183
00:06:42,233 --> 00:06:44,701
- Oh, God.
- A weekly weak moment.
184
00:06:44,735 --> 00:06:46,903
Three times! I got one haircut once.
185
00:06:46,937 --> 00:06:48,571
Wha... men are just so selfish.
186
00:06:48,606 --> 00:06:49,939
I-I'm sorry.
187
00:06:49,974 --> 00:06:52,242
Truly, Garrett, I tried, but...
188
00:06:52,276 --> 00:06:54,244
You know, you guys don't have kids.
189
00:06:54,269 --> 00:06:56,103
And we needed help.
190
00:06:56,146 --> 00:06:58,548
Our housekeeper, our
nanny, our gardener...
191
00:06:58,582 --> 00:07:00,183
- Together: Nanny?
- Whoa.
192
00:07:00,217 --> 00:07:01,484
That's right!
193
00:07:01,509 --> 00:07:03,010
Our occasional nanny.
194
00:07:03,035 --> 00:07:05,136
They are barely keeping
me and Richie above water.
195
00:07:05,161 --> 00:07:06,928
Does anybody else see black spots?
196
00:07:06,999 --> 00:07:09,066
- In and out, baby.
- Garrett, we took every precaution.
197
00:07:09,093 --> 00:07:10,126
We wore masks.
198
00:07:10,151 --> 00:07:11,752
We took each other's temperatures.
199
00:07:11,804 --> 00:07:15,307
We broke your quarantine rules
respectfully and responsibly.
200
00:07:15,332 --> 00:07:16,833
How could you?
201
00:07:16,858 --> 00:07:18,792
And the lying makes it worse, Pradeep.
202
00:07:18,836 --> 00:07:20,336
The lying makes it worse.
203
00:07:20,371 --> 00:07:21,738
Oh, does it, Ellis?
204
00:07:21,772 --> 00:07:23,306
Does the lying make it worse?
205
00:07:23,331 --> 00:07:25,460
Yes, it does. It makes it sting.
206
00:07:26,419 --> 00:07:29,121
Ellis goes to an illegal
SoulCycle speakeasy.
207
00:07:29,146 --> 00:07:30,313
- [wailing]
- What?
208
00:07:30,347 --> 00:07:31,358
They won't let me cancel my membership
209
00:07:31,382 --> 00:07:33,516
and I need to work off
all that dumb sourdough
210
00:07:33,550 --> 00:07:34,584
you guys keep sending me!
211
00:07:34,618 --> 00:07:36,096
What am I supposed to do, not use it?
212
00:07:36,120 --> 00:07:37,020
- Yeah!
- That's exactly what
213
00:07:37,054 --> 00:07:38,588
you're supposed to do!
214
00:07:38,622 --> 00:07:40,156
It is not as bad as it sounds, okay?
215
00:07:40,190 --> 00:07:41,624
The basement has a little air hole.
216
00:07:41,659 --> 00:07:43,159
The basement?
217
00:07:43,193 --> 00:07:46,262
Do you guys have any
idea how much planning
218
00:07:46,297 --> 00:07:47,630
has gone into this trip?
219
00:07:47,655 --> 00:07:48,999
Oh, yes, this is the third meeting
220
00:07:49,033 --> 00:07:50,633
with shower schedules on the agenda.
221
00:07:50,668 --> 00:07:51,845
Garrett, I know you're angry,
222
00:07:51,869 --> 00:07:53,146
and you have every reason to be,
223
00:07:53,170 --> 00:07:55,371
but you don't need to cancel this trip.
224
00:07:55,406 --> 00:07:57,340
These were tiny infractions, all right?
225
00:07:57,365 --> 00:08:00,467
Medicinal, prescriptive,
safe interactions
226
00:08:00,492 --> 00:08:02,459
that we all desperately needed.
227
00:08:02,513 --> 00:08:05,421
Like my socially-distanced
walk with Michelle yesterday.
228
00:08:05,883 --> 00:08:07,517
- Oh, for real?
- Well, I was on blast,
229
00:08:07,542 --> 00:08:09,843
now you're on blast.
It's the circle of blast.
230
00:08:09,868 --> 00:08:11,864
What treachery is this?
231
00:08:11,889 --> 00:08:14,123
Did you not... I mean, were walks no...
232
00:08:14,158 --> 00:08:16,626
Because the approved list of
activities was a little bit...
233
00:08:16,660 --> 00:08:19,429
The approved list of
activities was very clear.
234
00:08:19,463 --> 00:08:22,231
Okay, Garrett, I'm human. I'm sorry!
235
00:08:22,266 --> 00:08:24,233
I made a mistake! We all did.
236
00:08:24,258 --> 00:08:25,525
I didn't,
237
00:08:25,550 --> 00:08:28,485
but I still think this trip is
a mass burial waiting to happen.
238
00:08:28,510 --> 00:08:31,784
And woe be the person that
stays in that cabin after you,
239
00:08:31,809 --> 00:08:33,453
because Ellis is for
sure gonna haunt them.
240
00:08:33,640 --> 00:08:35,912
Well, thank you,
Rufus. I feel very seen.
241
00:08:35,937 --> 00:08:37,905
This is like when I
accidentally heard a spoiler
242
00:08:37,930 --> 00:08:39,631
for the final season
of "Game of Thrones."
243
00:08:39,906 --> 00:08:42,485
Disappointing for so many reasons.
244
00:08:42,519 --> 00:08:44,064
Hey, I thought we were
gonna watch "World of Dance."
245
00:08:44,089 --> 00:08:46,590
Uh, thank you for the reminder, Alexa.
246
00:08:46,615 --> 00:08:47,549
All right, just gimme a second.
247
00:08:47,574 --> 00:08:48,641
I got a work thing.
248
00:08:48,666 --> 00:08:50,467
That wasn't Alexa.
249
00:08:50,890 --> 00:08:52,862
Was that Paz?
250
00:08:52,896 --> 00:08:54,697
The "we" was Paz?
251
00:08:54,732 --> 00:08:57,000
The "we" was Paz.
252
00:08:57,034 --> 00:08:58,868
All right, that's it! That's it.
253
00:08:58,902 --> 00:09:01,415
Operation Big Bear is
Operation Canceled.
254
00:09:05,874 --> 00:09:07,240
Paz? How did this happen?
255
00:09:07,268 --> 00:09:08,545
Just last week, you were off her.
256
00:09:08,569 --> 00:09:09,936
And now you're back on her?
257
00:09:09,961 --> 00:09:11,960
I cannot abide attractive
258
00:09:11,985 --> 00:09:13,819
but ultimately shallow people...
259
00:09:13,844 --> 00:09:15,085
who are women.
260
00:09:15,110 --> 00:09:18,513
Most of my follows on Insta
are hot male sociopaths.
261
00:09:18,782 --> 00:09:21,773
The point is, you point us in
an awkward position, Benjamin.
262
00:09:21,798 --> 00:09:23,732
Look, you know how lonely I've been.
263
00:09:23,757 --> 00:09:25,658
Plus, this week has been insane;
264
00:09:25,683 --> 00:09:28,318
Amy Cooper, COVID cases skyrocketing.
265
00:09:28,343 --> 00:09:31,178
So I got drunk off the last
of my schnapps a few days ago,
266
00:09:31,212 --> 00:09:32,779
and I maybe might've texted Paz.
267
00:09:32,814 --> 00:09:36,078
Please tell me it was at least
more inspired than "You up?"
268
00:09:36,517 --> 00:09:38,552
It was in that area.
269
00:09:38,586 --> 00:09:41,355
I am human! All right?
I have human needs.
270
00:09:41,389 --> 00:09:43,156
It was just supposed to be closure sex.
271
00:09:43,181 --> 00:09:44,081
Now it's been a week.
272
00:09:44,125 --> 00:09:46,460
I've got all sorts of
shampoos in my shower
273
00:09:46,494 --> 00:09:47,972
and pretty sure she's
using my toothbrush.
274
00:09:47,996 --> 00:09:49,563
This is not what I had planned.
275
00:09:49,597 --> 00:09:52,599
Ben! Are you kidding me?
276
00:09:52,634 --> 00:09:54,034
How could you do this to Garrett?
277
00:09:54,059 --> 00:09:55,937
I mean, I feel like we
all kinda did something...
278
00:09:55,962 --> 00:09:59,084
Look, we have 24 hours to
get this man to the woods.
279
00:09:59,109 --> 00:10:02,478
He's about to snap, or die of a
broken heart, I can't tell which.
280
00:10:02,512 --> 00:10:04,513
Either way, I hid the knives.
281
00:10:04,548 --> 00:10:06,835
Honey, I can't find the knives!
282
00:10:07,150 --> 00:10:08,695
Fix this!
283
00:10:09,179 --> 00:10:12,388
Ben, Paz isn't even
pretending to be safe.
284
00:10:12,422 --> 00:10:14,223
She just posted she went ice skating...
285
00:10:14,257 --> 00:10:16,258
yesterday. Heart.
286
00:10:16,283 --> 00:10:17,550
In LA!
287
00:10:17,575 --> 00:10:18,819
Like, where would she even do that?
288
00:10:18,844 --> 00:10:20,578
I tried to kick her out last night,
289
00:10:20,630 --> 00:10:22,565
but she's having a hard time right now.
290
00:10:22,590 --> 00:10:24,576
Well, I've always said
this pandemic is hardest
291
00:10:24,601 --> 00:10:26,902
on the lower-tier Instagram influencers.
292
00:10:26,927 --> 00:10:28,327
Her spon-con is gone.
293
00:10:28,352 --> 00:10:29,820
She's panicked about money.
294
00:10:29,845 --> 00:10:32,146
Plus, I don't want bad quarantine karma.
295
00:10:32,171 --> 00:10:33,304
Ah, ah, ah.
296
00:10:33,329 --> 00:10:34,496
You can't talk about karma,
297
00:10:34,521 --> 00:10:36,655
like I can't say "okurrr" anymore.
298
00:10:36,843 --> 00:10:38,657
Big Bear is canceled?
299
00:10:38,682 --> 00:10:40,316
I can't hibernate for much longer, Ben.
300
00:10:40,350 --> 00:10:42,595
Hey, yeah, you know we're all
responsible for this, right?
301
00:10:42,619 --> 00:10:44,330
- Oh, but it was mostly you.
- Yeah, but you more than us.
302
00:10:44,354 --> 00:10:45,688
For sure not me.
303
00:10:45,722 --> 00:10:48,324
Guys, Garrett is in really bad shape.
304
00:10:48,358 --> 00:10:51,662
He wants to watch some movie
called "Mutiny on the Bounty,"
305
00:10:51,687 --> 00:10:53,863
and he's opened his "I'm
sad" bottle of whiskey.
306
00:10:53,897 --> 00:10:55,598
We've got to sort this out.
307
00:10:55,632 --> 00:10:57,032
Michelle?
308
00:10:57,057 --> 00:10:59,058
You're two minutes late for movie night.
309
00:10:59,083 --> 00:11:00,851
Coming, love!
310
00:11:00,904 --> 00:11:02,538
- Help me!
- All right, I'm on it.
311
00:11:02,572 --> 00:11:04,273
- I'll go talk to him.
- [doorbell rings]
312
00:11:04,307 --> 00:11:06,609
Oh, wait, that's the delivery driver.
313
00:11:06,643 --> 00:11:08,310
Paz bought a Peloton
bike from Craigslist
314
00:11:08,345 --> 00:11:10,246
to make it look like she
has a sponsorship deal.
315
00:11:10,271 --> 00:11:12,023
She bought her own bike?
316
00:11:12,048 --> 00:11:14,350
She says she has to
spend money to make money.
317
00:11:14,384 --> 00:11:15,918
[groans] Now I gotta find a way
318
00:11:15,952 --> 00:11:18,354
to get her and this
thousand-pound stationary bike
319
00:11:18,379 --> 00:11:19,346
out of my place.
320
00:11:19,371 --> 00:11:21,156
She is very good.
321
00:11:21,725 --> 00:11:23,226
I'll be back.
322
00:11:23,894 --> 00:11:25,861
Wait, Ben said he and Annie talked.
323
00:11:25,896 --> 00:11:27,173
Do you think that's why she disappeared?
324
00:11:27,197 --> 00:11:28,764
You think he told her about Paz
325
00:11:28,799 --> 00:11:30,699
and then she spiraled into a depression?
326
00:11:30,734 --> 00:11:32,268
Oh, my gosh, we have to find her!
327
00:11:32,293 --> 00:11:33,742
I'm on it.
328
00:11:34,304 --> 00:11:35,171
Rufus, are you listening?
329
00:11:35,205 --> 00:11:37,173
She's depressed. She's not gonna answer.
330
00:11:37,207 --> 00:11:40,640
Relax, I know how to communicate
with people of her blood type.
331
00:11:41,320 --> 00:11:43,345
What do you mean, "you
all tested positive"?
332
00:11:43,380 --> 00:11:44,680
Sorry, should've clarified.
333
00:11:44,714 --> 00:11:47,149
- Tested positive with concern.
- What?
334
00:11:47,184 --> 00:11:49,885
Annie, we heard the news
and we think it's unhealthy
335
00:11:49,910 --> 00:11:52,164
that you're not talking
about it with us.
336
00:11:53,273 --> 00:11:55,024
How did you guys find out?
337
00:11:55,058 --> 00:11:56,926
Oh, it... it doesn't matter.
338
00:11:56,960 --> 00:11:58,327
The point is, we're family,
339
00:11:58,361 --> 00:12:01,195
and you can't quarantine
your feelings from us.
340
00:12:01,565 --> 00:12:02,665
I'm sorry, y'all.
341
00:12:02,699 --> 00:12:04,099
I should've said something sooner.
342
00:12:04,134 --> 00:12:07,069
I just... It's okay. It's okay.
343
00:12:07,103 --> 00:12:09,705
We know how much you wanted
this Ben thing to work out,
344
00:12:09,739 --> 00:12:11,807
and it... it sucks
that he's back with Paz,
345
00:12:11,832 --> 00:12:13,632
but we're here for you.
346
00:12:14,144 --> 00:12:15,492
Wait, what?
347
00:12:17,210 --> 00:12:19,545
Ben is back with Paz?
348
00:12:20,784 --> 00:12:22,375
You didn't know?
349
00:12:22,546 --> 00:12:25,481
Ah, what were you talking about?
350
00:12:25,655 --> 00:12:28,357
I just got hired to
ghostwrite a romance novel.
351
00:12:28,391 --> 00:12:31,760
It's like this huge job, and
I've got a crazy deadline.
352
00:12:31,795 --> 00:12:32,839
That's why I've been so distant.
353
00:12:32,863 --> 00:12:35,264
I wanted to take a chunk
out of it before Big Bear.
354
00:12:35,298 --> 00:12:36,843
- Oh, my God. That's so great.
- Congrats.
355
00:12:36,867 --> 00:12:39,635
- Annie! Wow!
- Yeah.
356
00:12:39,660 --> 00:12:41,127
Congrats. So cool.
357
00:12:41,152 --> 00:12:42,819
He's not bringing her, is he?
358
00:12:43,132 --> 00:12:45,174
Well, no. Good news is no.
359
00:12:45,208 --> 00:12:47,576
Uh, bad news is, the
trip's been canceled.
360
00:12:47,601 --> 00:12:48,968
What? Why?
361
00:12:48,993 --> 00:12:51,161
- Because of Paz.
- Ben and only Ben messed up.
362
00:12:51,214 --> 00:12:52,147
No!
363
00:12:52,182 --> 00:12:55,050
I haven't even opened
a window in 14 days.
364
00:12:55,085 --> 00:12:56,128
I know, we've all taken it seriously.
365
00:12:56,152 --> 00:12:57,119
Same here!
366
00:12:57,153 --> 00:12:59,455
Actually, there may be
a way to salvage this.
367
00:12:59,480 --> 00:13:03,416
But the answer lies deep in
the belly of the dark web.
368
00:13:03,460 --> 00:13:04,664
Rufus?
369
00:13:05,495 --> 00:13:06,945
Rufus!
370
00:13:07,227 --> 00:13:08,694
Should we be worried?
371
00:13:08,719 --> 00:13:10,587
- Oh, definitely worried.
- I think it's fine.
372
00:13:10,612 --> 00:13:12,414
What? I mean, fine.
373
00:13:18,539 --> 00:13:19,828
How could Ben do this?
374
00:13:19,853 --> 00:13:23,142
Oh, I believe it involved
a cocktail of German alcohol
375
00:13:23,183 --> 00:13:24,684
- and loneliness.
- Oh, forget all that.
376
00:13:24,711 --> 00:13:27,546
Tell us about your romance novel job.
What's it about?
377
00:13:28,007 --> 00:13:31,684
It's about a woman who's
secretly pining for her friend
378
00:13:31,718 --> 00:13:32,885
who's in a relationship.
379
00:13:32,919 --> 00:13:36,521
And when they break up, she
finally confesses her love
380
00:13:36,546 --> 00:13:38,742
and they spend the rest
of their lives together.
381
00:13:39,609 --> 00:13:41,177
But in medieval Scotland.
382
00:13:41,202 --> 00:13:43,203
You might wanna rework that ending.
383
00:13:43,228 --> 00:13:45,129
What am I doing? For real.
384
00:13:45,154 --> 00:13:46,791
I mean, this... this
whole Ben thing isn't...
385
00:13:46,816 --> 00:13:48,920
I should just move on, right?
386
00:13:48,945 --> 00:13:50,612
And just try to get out there.
387
00:13:50,647 --> 00:13:52,748
Well, as long as your "get out there"
388
00:13:52,773 --> 00:13:55,074
involves you never leaving the house,
389
00:13:55,099 --> 00:13:58,835
then yes, I think it's a good
idea to explore your options.
390
00:13:58,888 --> 00:14:00,889
Well, why didn't you
tell us about this book?
391
00:14:00,923 --> 00:14:02,057
That's good news.
392
00:14:02,091 --> 00:14:05,560
Because it just felt selfish
to brag about a new job
393
00:14:05,595 --> 00:14:07,663
- when you just lost yours.
- No.
394
00:14:07,697 --> 00:14:09,898
A win for one of us is a
win for all of us right now.
395
00:14:09,932 --> 00:14:11,800
All right, I may not have the Clippers,
396
00:14:11,834 --> 00:14:13,268
but I still have you,
397
00:14:13,293 --> 00:14:15,761
and you, Annie, are doing
better than the Clippers.
398
00:14:15,786 --> 00:14:18,154
Yeah, come on! Let's celebrate.
399
00:14:18,179 --> 00:14:20,714
Wait, I think I have
something real to celebrate.
400
00:14:20,739 --> 00:14:23,841
I mean, my thing is real, Rufus.
401
00:14:23,913 --> 00:14:26,281
Rufus, I got a text from
you saying, "Solved this."
402
00:14:26,306 --> 00:14:27,773
What's going on?
403
00:14:27,798 --> 00:14:29,796
Careless friends isn't
something you can solve, Rufus.
404
00:14:29,821 --> 00:14:30,968
Actually, it is.
405
00:14:30,993 --> 00:14:33,561
Uh, I have a frenemy
named Rich on the dark web.
406
00:14:33,623 --> 00:14:35,757
He got a ton of my hand sanitizer.
407
00:14:35,782 --> 00:14:38,417
He's willing to trade another batch
408
00:14:38,442 --> 00:14:40,743
for seven rapid COVID tests.
409
00:14:40,768 --> 00:14:42,402
We'd have the results in 24 hours.
410
00:14:42,427 --> 00:14:43,808
- Yes! Yes!
- Shut up!
411
00:14:43,833 --> 00:14:45,967
- Oh, yeah.
- Rufus, you came through!
412
00:14:46,002 --> 00:14:48,937
- Shove it up there.
- Yes, baby. Isn't that great?
413
00:14:48,962 --> 00:14:51,265
- It's all good.
- No.
414
00:14:51,687 --> 00:14:53,819
What? You're still mad
about the walk with Ellis?
415
00:14:53,843 --> 00:14:56,645
We wore masks and we
stayed six feet apart.
416
00:14:56,670 --> 00:14:57,970
We can't use those tests.
417
00:14:57,995 --> 00:14:59,424
Why, because they're from the dark web
418
00:14:59,449 --> 00:15:00,726
and they're probably super sketch?
419
00:15:00,750 --> 00:15:04,386
No, if anyone could track down
reliable tests, it's Rufus.
420
00:15:04,411 --> 00:15:06,799
- Correct.
- But people need these tests,
421
00:15:06,823 --> 00:15:07,756
and they can't get them anywhere.
422
00:15:07,790 --> 00:15:09,034
There are shortages
all over the country.
423
00:15:09,058 --> 00:15:12,427
I mean, Jazmin can't get her
hands on enough of these things
424
00:15:12,452 --> 00:15:14,152
as a doctor in New York.
425
00:15:14,206 --> 00:15:15,940
And we're gonna just
divert seven of them
426
00:15:15,965 --> 00:15:17,366
for a vacation to Big Bear?
427
00:15:17,400 --> 00:15:18,477
We can't use them. It's wrong.
428
00:15:18,502 --> 00:15:19,802
Is it wrong?
429
00:15:20,140 --> 00:15:22,637
I mean, it's seven tests.
430
00:15:22,672 --> 00:15:24,671
It's not like we're gonna
wipe the state clean.
431
00:15:25,174 --> 00:15:28,009
Come on, baby, I know how
much you needed this escape.
432
00:15:28,034 --> 00:15:30,168
I just wanted one thing
to go right, but it can't.
433
00:15:30,429 --> 00:15:33,358
All we had to do was just
follow some simple rules
434
00:15:33,383 --> 00:15:35,150
and we couldn't even do that.
435
00:15:37,007 --> 00:15:38,820
- Hey, Ben.
- Hey.
436
00:15:38,855 --> 00:15:40,781
I'm guessing they caught you up.
- Yep.
437
00:15:41,338 --> 00:15:43,372
Sorry I ruined the trip
with my barbershop run.
438
00:15:43,446 --> 00:15:44,913
Oh, Ben, come on.
439
00:15:44,938 --> 00:15:47,343
The outdoor barbershop
was probably fine.
440
00:15:47,797 --> 00:15:50,265
You ruined the trip with Paz.
441
00:15:50,299 --> 00:15:53,265
I mean, actually, Rufus
has a way to save the trip.
442
00:15:53,669 --> 00:15:56,271
He has a friend who can test all of us.
443
00:15:56,305 --> 00:15:57,549
- Oh, my God! Are you serious?
- But I...
444
00:15:57,573 --> 00:15:59,441
I am down! Yes!
445
00:15:59,475 --> 00:16:01,209
When? Where? Sign me up.
446
00:16:01,234 --> 00:16:03,335
You guys scared me with
that whole Paz thing.
447
00:16:03,379 --> 00:16:04,379
I'm sure we're both fine,
448
00:16:04,414 --> 00:16:06,047
but if you have an extra...
449
00:16:06,072 --> 00:16:09,074
[Paz coughing]
450
00:16:16,058 --> 00:16:18,031
Please tell me she's choking to death.
451
00:16:18,436 --> 00:16:20,237
She's not choking.
452
00:16:20,262 --> 00:16:22,697
She doesn't eat solid foods.
453
00:16:22,842 --> 00:16:24,343
Yeah, this trip is a dud.
454
00:16:24,368 --> 00:16:26,870
- [all talking at once]
- That's a wrap on Big Bear.
455
00:16:26,945 --> 00:16:30,015
Paz, I'm going to send
you a recipe for some tea.
456
00:16:30,040 --> 00:16:32,360
[Overlapping]
457
00:16:35,523 --> 00:16:37,973
- Shh!
- Rufus, shush!
458
00:16:37,998 --> 00:16:40,532
Here he comes. Here he comes.
459
00:16:40,557 --> 00:16:42,959
[birds tweeting]
460
00:16:42,984 --> 00:16:43,984
Surprise!
461
00:16:44,009 --> 00:16:46,120
- All: Surprise!
- What?
462
00:16:46,145 --> 00:16:47,245
What is this?
463
00:16:47,288 --> 00:16:48,822
We just felt so awful.
464
00:16:48,857 --> 00:16:50,824
You had planned this
beautiful trip for us,
465
00:16:50,859 --> 00:16:53,193
and we wanted to do
something beautiful for you.
466
00:16:53,218 --> 00:16:55,018
- Oh.
- If we can't go to Big Bear,
467
00:16:55,043 --> 00:16:56,977
then Big Bear comes to us.
468
00:16:57,002 --> 00:16:58,273
This is...
469
00:16:58,965 --> 00:17:00,899
this is really nice.
470
00:17:00,924 --> 00:17:03,226
Thank you guys so much.
471
00:17:03,371 --> 00:17:05,939
I'm so sorry I've been
controlling lately.
472
00:17:05,964 --> 00:17:08,985
I guess social planning
is my love language,
473
00:17:09,010 --> 00:17:11,145
and I've been going a
little crazy without it.
474
00:17:11,179 --> 00:17:12,780
Oh, it's okay, Garrett.
475
00:17:12,814 --> 00:17:15,492
Emotions have been all over the place!
476
00:17:15,517 --> 00:17:16,750
We know you love us,
477
00:17:16,775 --> 00:17:18,452
even when you yell at us.
478
00:17:18,477 --> 00:17:20,211
I mean, I love my kids
when I yell at them.
479
00:17:20,236 --> 00:17:21,446
Can I have another marshmallow?
480
00:17:21,471 --> 00:17:23,272
No, you get your own marshmallow!
481
00:17:23,297 --> 00:17:25,232
- Close it!
- [laughs]
482
00:17:25,293 --> 00:17:26,493
Rufus, you okay over there?
483
00:17:26,518 --> 00:17:28,051
Well, just about.
484
00:17:28,076 --> 00:17:29,726
Ah, there we go.
485
00:17:30,607 --> 00:17:33,443
Only you can prevent forest virus.
486
00:17:33,468 --> 00:17:35,569
- [laughs]
- Gang, I'm not gonna lie,
487
00:17:35,603 --> 00:17:38,772
I was starting to feel really
sad about being so alone.
488
00:17:38,807 --> 00:17:40,974
Reminds me of when I was
starting my transition
489
00:17:41,009 --> 00:17:44,344
and I was just always so afraid
to go outside, and I just...
490
00:17:44,379 --> 00:17:46,313
don't want to go back there.
491
00:17:46,347 --> 00:17:49,049
Aw, come on, sis.
You know we got you.
492
00:17:49,083 --> 00:17:50,951
I know.
493
00:17:50,985 --> 00:17:53,387
I had y'all back then
and I have y'all now.
494
00:17:53,421 --> 00:17:55,789
Even if it's just
through a little screen.
495
00:17:56,558 --> 00:17:57,925
Anyway, enough of the sad stuff.
496
00:17:57,959 --> 00:18:00,561
Annie, tell everyone your good news.
497
00:18:00,595 --> 00:18:02,095
You got news? What's your news?
498
00:18:02,130 --> 00:18:04,231
Oh. Okay.
499
00:18:04,265 --> 00:18:06,600
Well, I decided
500
00:18:06,634 --> 00:18:09,335
if I'm going to write about
my characters taking risks
501
00:18:09,360 --> 00:18:12,840
in my book, then I should be
taking some risks of my own.
502
00:18:12,874 --> 00:18:16,109
So I joined a dating app.
503
00:18:16,134 --> 00:18:17,668
- Hey. Wow.
- Hey. Good for you.
504
00:18:17,693 --> 00:18:19,460
- Whoo-hoo!
- Oh, that's great.
505
00:18:19,485 --> 00:18:22,392
I... I hear dating online
during the quarantine is crazy,
506
00:18:22,417 --> 00:18:24,218
but hopefully in a good way.
507
00:18:24,252 --> 00:18:27,054
Oh, nice used bike, Ben.
508
00:18:27,079 --> 00:18:28,379
Did you boil it first?
509
00:18:28,404 --> 00:18:29,904
Thank you.
510
00:18:29,929 --> 00:18:32,597
Just in case anyone cares...
Although I know you don't...
511
00:18:32,622 --> 00:18:34,690
Paz's cough was just allergies.
512
00:18:34,762 --> 00:18:35,840
- Pbbt. Yeah, okay.
- Right.
513
00:18:35,864 --> 00:18:39,132
- That's what she told you.
- [overlapping chatter]
514
00:18:39,167 --> 00:18:40,812
Tell her to follow me on Insta.
515
00:18:40,837 --> 00:18:43,472
Okay, all right, everybody,
raise your little cups.
516
00:18:43,705 --> 00:18:46,573
We may not be like we
were, but we are still us,
517
00:18:46,608 --> 00:18:48,242
and we still have each other,
518
00:18:48,267 --> 00:18:51,002
so screw Big Bear.
519
00:18:51,027 --> 00:18:52,761
We're kick corona's ass.
520
00:18:52,786 --> 00:18:53,819
Huzzah.
521
00:18:53,844 --> 00:18:55,044
All: Cheers.
522
00:18:55,116 --> 00:18:56,250
We can do this.
523
00:18:56,275 --> 00:18:59,523
Hell, we can do quarantine for
another year, if we have to.
524
00:19:00,831 --> 00:19:02,195
Salud.
525
00:19:03,091 --> 00:19:04,224
Cheers?
526
00:19:04,249 --> 00:19:07,918
Wait, you don't actually mean
like a whole year, do you?
527
00:19:07,951 --> 00:19:09,289
Rufus, you okay?
528
00:19:10,187 --> 00:19:13,166
The... oh, there's, uh,
this video on Twitter.
529
00:19:13,191 --> 00:19:14,625
It's everywhere.
530
00:19:14,650 --> 00:19:16,517
Just send it to the group chat.
531
00:19:16,968 --> 00:19:19,182
I don't... I don't
think that's a good idea.
532
00:19:19,207 --> 00:19:21,642
What is it, Rufus? Forward it.
533
00:19:23,572 --> 00:19:24,705
[phone chimes]
534
00:19:30,389 --> 00:19:32,007
Oh, my God.
535
00:19:38,365 --> 00:19:41,868
I can't... guys, I have to go...
536
00:19:42,006 --> 00:19:43,573
G-get off of him!
537
00:19:43,598 --> 00:19:45,599
- Get off of him!
- What are they doing?
538
00:19:45,624 --> 00:19:47,325
Why are they all just standing there?
539
00:19:47,350 --> 00:19:48,394
Why isn't someone doing something?
540
00:19:48,419 --> 00:19:50,654
Dude, get off his neck.
You're gonna kill him.
541
00:19:51,727 --> 00:19:53,761
I gotta go. I gotta go.
542
00:19:55,576 --> 00:19:57,477
Uh, are you guys okay?
543
00:20:07,689 --> 00:20:10,484
This lasts for eight
minutes and 46 seconds.
544
00:20:10,691 --> 00:20:12,625
[gasping]
545
00:20:12,753 --> 00:20:15,755
I-I can't... I can't keep seeing this.
546
00:20:15,780 --> 00:20:17,558
I can't keep seeing this.
I can't keep seeing this.
547
00:20:17,583 --> 00:20:19,876
- I know, babe.
- I can't keep seeing this.
548
00:20:19,901 --> 00:20:22,336
I can't... I can't keep seeing this.
549
00:20:26,222 --> 00:20:29,124
[somber piano music]
550
00:20:29,148 --> 00:20:34,148
- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe -
-- for www.addic7ed.com --
40498
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