All language subtitles for Brockmire - 1x06 - Road Trip [720p-IFC-WEBRip-x264-GalaxyTV]

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,860 --> 00:00:07,930 Young Brockmire's known for his temper. 2 00:00:07,960 --> 00:00:09,730 Let's see if he tries to brush back the batter 3 00:00:09,770 --> 00:00:11,770 with a little chin music! 4 00:00:14,400 --> 00:00:16,070 Oh! Oh! It's coming! 5 00:00:17,110 --> 00:00:18,240 Steee-rike! 6 00:00:18,270 --> 00:00:19,610 The catcher, Brockmire, 7 00:00:19,660 --> 00:00:22,240 is gonna have to take a minute to recover from that fastball! 8 00:00:22,280 --> 00:00:24,180 Oh, Brockmire snap-throws to the first baseman, 9 00:00:24,210 --> 00:00:25,980 Brockmire, who lays down the tag, 10 00:00:26,010 --> 00:00:27,920 and Brockmire's out! 11 00:00:27,950 --> 00:00:29,070 Brockmire's out! 12 00:00:46,070 --> 00:00:48,250 What time is it, Jim? 13 00:00:48,370 --> 00:00:51,870 - I-It's Tiki Time. - Mm. 14 00:00:51,910 --> 00:00:54,810 And what are the rules of Tiki Time? 15 00:00:54,840 --> 00:00:56,010 - No talking. - Mm. 16 00:00:56,050 --> 00:00:57,210 No crying. 17 00:00:57,250 --> 00:01:00,880 - And every day is paradise. - And every day is paradise. 18 00:01:11,530 --> 00:01:13,400 Oh, God! 19 00:01:13,430 --> 00:01:16,230 The nails are splitting the bamboo! God damn it! 20 00:01:16,270 --> 00:01:21,240 I spent $40 on this cheap piece of shit! 21 00:01:21,270 --> 00:01:22,910 Son of a... 22 00:01:22,940 --> 00:01:24,370 The mound at Candlestick right now 23 00:01:24,410 --> 00:01:27,010 is the loneliest place on Earth, 24 00:01:27,040 --> 00:01:30,410 and there's 33,000 people in the stadium 25 00:01:30,450 --> 00:01:33,920 and about 1 million butterflies. 26 00:01:36,590 --> 00:01:38,790 I can't believe it. 27 00:01:38,820 --> 00:01:41,220 I mean, I was always so diligent. 28 00:01:41,260 --> 00:01:43,060 And it's not like I was a nun. 29 00:01:43,090 --> 00:01:44,190 There were a few years back in my 20s 30 00:01:44,230 --> 00:01:47,930 where I was getting more dick than a bathhouse in 1978. 31 00:01:47,960 --> 00:01:52,000 And not one pregnancy scare. 32 00:01:52,030 --> 00:01:55,810 I just... I never imagined I would be conflicted at all. 33 00:01:55,840 --> 00:01:59,410 All right. I got... $100, $200, $345, 34 00:01:59,440 --> 00:02:01,580 and we can stop at the ATM on the way there. 35 00:02:01,610 --> 00:02:03,180 And let's definitely tip. 36 00:02:03,210 --> 00:02:04,980 Those people... they... they work hard. 37 00:02:05,010 --> 00:02:06,820 What is this? What are you doing? 38 00:02:06,850 --> 00:02:09,150 Look, I never have gotten anybody pregnant before, 39 00:02:09,190 --> 00:02:11,890 but I have paid for my share of abortions, all right? 40 00:02:11,920 --> 00:02:15,160 Just, you know, as a friend, a mentor, a pro-choice advocate, 41 00:02:15,190 --> 00:02:16,960 as a small-loan investor one time... 42 00:02:16,990 --> 00:02:18,530 Okay, Jim, slow down. 43 00:02:18,560 --> 00:02:22,370 I... am still weighing my options. 44 00:02:22,400 --> 00:02:25,840 No, please. Entirely up to you. I understand. 45 00:02:25,870 --> 00:02:27,570 I gave up my vote at ejaculation, 46 00:02:27,600 --> 00:02:29,870 so, you know, feminism, 47 00:02:29,910 --> 00:02:31,440 your body, your choice... 48 00:02:31,470 --> 00:02:34,340 all of that razzmatazz. 49 00:02:34,380 --> 00:02:36,010 Thank you. 50 00:02:39,150 --> 00:02:41,150 I just need some time to think about it. 51 00:02:41,180 --> 00:02:42,250 And you need to think about 52 00:02:42,280 --> 00:02:44,450 whether you're able to be a father. 53 00:02:46,520 --> 00:02:48,560 I'm gonna have to ask you for some numbers here, 54 00:02:48,590 --> 00:02:50,260 because right now, you're just giving me 55 00:02:50,290 --> 00:02:53,330 a whole lot of maybe homework. 56 00:02:53,360 --> 00:02:55,630 Are you asking me for abortion odds? 57 00:02:55,660 --> 00:02:57,230 I am. Yes. 58 00:02:57,270 --> 00:03:01,140 Just please, for brevity and for clarity's sake. 59 00:03:01,170 --> 00:03:04,110 Okay. Right now, I'd say... 60 00:03:08,440 --> 00:03:11,980 ... 60/40 in favor of keeping it. 61 00:03:12,020 --> 00:03:14,050 Really? 62 00:03:14,080 --> 00:03:15,620 Wow. 63 00:03:15,650 --> 00:03:17,620 I think I might have backed you into an answer there. 64 00:03:17,650 --> 00:03:18,770 - No! - No, I think I did 65 00:03:18,770 --> 00:03:18,780 And I think we should both - No! - No, I think I did 66 00:03:18,780 --> 00:03:19,920 And I think we should both 67 00:03:19,920 --> 00:03:21,420 just take our time with this whole thing. 68 00:03:21,460 --> 00:03:23,490 Yes. I-I agree. 69 00:03:36,140 --> 00:03:38,210 Hey, Jim. 70 00:03:38,240 --> 00:03:40,210 What are you doing here? 71 00:03:40,240 --> 00:03:41,410 Oh, I just wanted to see 72 00:03:41,440 --> 00:03:43,580 if maybe you want to have a catch with me. 73 00:03:43,610 --> 00:03:46,320 Like, with, um, a Frisbee or...? 74 00:03:46,350 --> 00:03:48,420 Uh, no, like with a baseball, Charles. 75 00:03:48,450 --> 00:03:49,350 - Ah. - It's time you learned the very 76 00:03:49,360 --> 00:03:50,310 basics of the game 77 00:03:50,320 --> 00:03:52,060 that you watch every single day. 78 00:03:52,090 --> 00:03:53,920 Yeah. Sure. 79 00:03:53,960 --> 00:03:55,990 - Yeah. I'm down. - Great. Great. 80 00:03:56,030 --> 00:03:57,330 - Charles? - Yeah? 81 00:03:57,360 --> 00:03:58,960 How about you go wash your hands first? 82 00:03:59,000 --> 00:04:01,100 Okay. I'm gonna go... 83 00:04:01,130 --> 00:04:03,400 I'm gonna go do that. 84 00:04:10,970 --> 00:04:12,940 Women! Get out of here. 85 00:04:12,980 --> 00:04:14,910 Well, wonders never cease. 86 00:04:16,550 --> 00:04:18,350 Wow. That hurt? 87 00:04:18,380 --> 00:04:19,650 Ah. 88 00:04:19,680 --> 00:04:21,650 - It's... - You're not playing tag with it. 89 00:04:21,680 --> 00:04:24,420 You just... just open your mitt and watch it go in there. 90 00:04:24,450 --> 00:04:25,730 Why are we doing this? 91 00:04:25,790 --> 00:04:28,390 Every boy has to at least know how to play catch. 92 00:04:28,420 --> 00:04:30,130 - Why? - Because you're an American, 93 00:04:30,170 --> 00:04:31,170 God damn it. 94 00:04:31,230 --> 00:04:32,630 This is how the game continues. 95 00:04:32,660 --> 00:04:34,530 It gets passed down through generations, 96 00:04:34,560 --> 00:04:38,200 fathers patiently teaching their sons, et cetera. 97 00:04:39,600 --> 00:04:41,340 Oh. My God. 98 00:04:41,370 --> 00:04:44,110 Y-You throw like a blind baby waving bye-bye. 99 00:04:44,140 --> 00:04:45,410 What was that? 100 00:04:45,440 --> 00:04:47,140 Are you sure you're right-handed? 101 00:04:47,180 --> 00:04:50,180 I'm... I-I think so. 102 00:04:50,210 --> 00:04:52,280 Look, my father taught me how to throw a baseball. 103 00:04:52,320 --> 00:04:55,450 It was about the best 10 minutes we ever spent. 104 00:04:58,050 --> 00:05:00,020 Getting closer, getting closer. 105 00:05:00,060 --> 00:05:03,130 Mm. I see what this is. 106 00:05:03,160 --> 00:05:05,260 You're trying to work out your father issues on me. 107 00:05:05,290 --> 00:05:06,630 No, I'm not. 108 00:05:06,660 --> 00:05:08,570 I couldn't give two shits about that asshole. 109 00:05:08,600 --> 00:05:11,730 He spent my entire chi... 110 00:05:11,770 --> 00:05:13,670 He spent my entire childhood 111 00:05:13,700 --> 00:05:17,140 building a Tiki bar in our backyard 112 00:05:17,170 --> 00:05:19,540 so he could just drink alone. 113 00:05:19,580 --> 00:05:21,380 I'm nothing like that idiot. 114 00:05:21,410 --> 00:05:23,550 You sure? You're a raging alcoholic, 115 00:05:23,580 --> 00:05:25,150 and you spent the last 10 years of your life 116 00:05:25,180 --> 00:05:26,680 in tropical Southeast Asia. 117 00:05:26,720 --> 00:05:29,650 Uh, let's dial it down, okay, Dr. Joyce Brothers. 118 00:05:29,680 --> 00:05:31,650 We're not trying to work on my daddy issues here. 119 00:05:31,690 --> 00:05:33,360 We're working on yours. 120 00:05:33,390 --> 00:05:35,290 - I thought you wanted a father figure. - For sure. 121 00:05:35,320 --> 00:05:37,660 I barely see my dad now 'cause of the divorce, 122 00:05:37,690 --> 00:05:40,130 and my stepdad's a hard-ass, 123 00:05:40,160 --> 00:05:43,270 but you're the last person I'd peg as my father figure. 124 00:05:43,300 --> 00:05:45,400 Kind of thought I already was. 125 00:05:45,430 --> 00:05:47,370 Mm. 126 00:05:47,400 --> 00:05:49,040 You think I'd be a good father? 127 00:05:49,070 --> 00:05:51,570 It would be mean of me to say 128 00:05:51,610 --> 00:05:55,510 you'd be a bad father, but... 129 00:05:55,540 --> 00:05:57,580 I'm willing to be mean to make sure you never procreate. 130 00:05:57,610 --> 00:06:00,750 Yeah, you would be a terrible father. Don't do that. 131 00:06:00,780 --> 00:06:03,220 Never mind, all right? Let's just play catch. 132 00:06:03,250 --> 00:06:05,790 Now, just get ready. Keep your glove open. 133 00:06:05,820 --> 00:06:07,720 - Just watch it go... - This is boring. 134 00:06:07,760 --> 00:06:10,460 - What else do you have to do? - You saw me up there. 135 00:06:10,490 --> 00:06:11,490 I am 17, 136 00:06:11,530 --> 00:06:13,760 and porn is literally endless on the Internet. 137 00:06:13,800 --> 00:06:16,800 Sometimes, I just put in a random body part 138 00:06:16,830 --> 00:06:18,470 to see if someone's thought to put a dick in it. 139 00:06:18,500 --> 00:06:19,740 They always have. 140 00:06:19,770 --> 00:06:21,740 Baseball can't compete with pornography! 141 00:06:21,770 --> 00:06:24,740 I mean, nothing can. 142 00:06:24,770 --> 00:06:27,340 Oh, fine. Go jerk off. 143 00:06:27,380 --> 00:06:30,180 Beat it! Literally. 144 00:06:30,210 --> 00:06:32,750 Let me know if you need me to send you any links! 145 00:06:32,780 --> 00:06:35,220 Well, don't leave your... Oh, man. 146 00:06:38,520 --> 00:06:41,320 Brockmire known for his temper. 147 00:06:41,360 --> 00:06:43,430 Let's see if he brushes back this batter 148 00:06:43,460 --> 00:06:45,890 with a little bit of chin music! 149 00:06:46,990 --> 00:06:49,570 Oh, he does. Oh, my goodness. 150 00:06:49,600 --> 00:06:52,440 He put the fear of God into Jenkins there. 151 00:06:57,710 --> 00:07:00,240 Mmm. 152 00:07:00,280 --> 00:07:01,640 Mmm. 153 00:07:01,680 --> 00:07:03,210 Mm. 154 00:07:03,250 --> 00:07:07,550 Can I have like, um... 155 00:07:07,580 --> 00:07:09,550 a seltzer water? 156 00:07:09,590 --> 00:07:12,390 What's going on? Are you sick? 157 00:07:12,420 --> 00:07:14,830 Oh, my God. Do you have cancer? 158 00:07:18,560 --> 00:07:21,260 I don't mean for this to sound judgmental in any way, 159 00:07:21,300 --> 00:07:23,230 but, um... 160 00:07:23,270 --> 00:07:25,530 You've had an abortion, right? 161 00:07:25,560 --> 00:07:27,300 Oh, yeah! Yeah. 162 00:07:27,340 --> 00:07:28,570 And it wasn't easy. 163 00:07:28,600 --> 00:07:30,270 No, it seems like a really hard choice. 164 00:07:30,310 --> 00:07:32,640 No, the choice was easy. 165 00:07:32,640 --> 00:07:35,350 Getting the procedure done was the hard part. 166 00:07:35,470 --> 00:07:36,790 So, at first, I couldn't go 167 00:07:36,830 --> 00:07:38,450 to the Planned Parenthood in town 'cause it burned down. 168 00:07:38,480 --> 00:07:41,940 I heard they had an accident when I fire-bombed the place. 169 00:07:43,300 --> 00:07:45,200 You burned down a Planned Parenthood? 170 00:07:45,240 --> 00:07:47,010 Yeah. 171 00:07:47,040 --> 00:07:48,310 Okay, anyways. 172 00:07:48,340 --> 00:07:49,270 That meant I had to pay 173 00:07:49,310 --> 00:07:51,240 for a round-trip bus ticket to Pittsburgh, 174 00:07:51,280 --> 00:07:53,150 plus the cost of three nights at the hotel, 175 00:07:53,180 --> 00:07:54,180 plus the cost of the surgery. 176 00:07:54,210 --> 00:07:56,420 Sweetie, I'm so sorry you had to go through that. 177 00:07:56,450 --> 00:07:57,580 Oh, that's not the worst part. 178 00:07:57,620 --> 00:07:59,550 When I walked into the clinic, 179 00:07:59,580 --> 00:08:01,790 the protestors screamed the worst things 180 00:08:01,820 --> 00:08:03,560 humanly possible in my face, 181 00:08:03,590 --> 00:08:06,360 but it was fine 'cause I was listening to "Shake It Off." 182 00:08:06,390 --> 00:08:09,800 And then somebody threw a diaper full of rocks at me. 183 00:08:09,830 --> 00:08:12,230 - What?! - That I couldn't shake off. 184 00:08:12,260 --> 00:08:13,650 What... What about the procedure? 185 00:08:13,690 --> 00:08:15,430 Oh! That was easy. 186 00:08:15,470 --> 00:08:17,070 You know, they just knocked me out, like pbht! 187 00:08:17,100 --> 00:08:18,670 And sure, when I woke up, I felt like shit 188 00:08:18,700 --> 00:08:20,810 and I had black eye from the rock diaper, but... 189 00:08:20,840 --> 00:08:22,540 Would I do it again? 190 00:08:22,570 --> 00:08:25,440 Yeah. I did. 191 00:08:25,680 --> 00:08:28,050 Jesus, I don't think I can go through that. 192 00:08:28,080 --> 00:08:29,350 Wait. 193 00:08:34,350 --> 00:08:37,060 So I'm... I'm deciding what to do. 194 00:08:37,090 --> 00:08:39,320 I'm raising this town up on my back 195 00:08:39,360 --> 00:08:40,690 with pure womanly strength. 196 00:08:40,730 --> 00:08:45,160 Maybe... Maybe I could raise a baby, too. 197 00:08:45,200 --> 00:08:48,850 Jules, I... love you. 198 00:08:48,910 --> 00:08:51,300 I love you, too, sweetheart. 199 00:08:51,340 --> 00:08:53,400 ... as a boss. 200 00:08:53,440 --> 00:08:56,670 Um... this just feels like a super, like, 201 00:08:56,710 --> 00:08:59,750 personal conversation for, like, "workplace environment." 202 00:08:59,780 --> 00:09:02,210 You just told me every intimate detail of your abortion. 203 00:09:02,250 --> 00:09:03,580 I tell everybody that story! 204 00:09:03,620 --> 00:09:05,280 It's the first thing in my dating profile. 205 00:09:05,320 --> 00:09:07,090 - She tells everybody. - Dale knows. 206 00:09:07,120 --> 00:09:09,150 This just feels like the sort of thing you want to discuss, 207 00:09:09,190 --> 00:09:11,460 like, maybe with friend, you know? 208 00:09:11,490 --> 00:09:14,090 You do have friends, right? 209 00:09:14,130 --> 00:09:15,360 Of course I have friends. 210 00:09:15,390 --> 00:09:17,300 Yeah, you do! 211 00:09:17,330 --> 00:09:18,330 I have a lot of friends. 212 00:09:18,360 --> 00:09:20,430 I just... You know, they just moved away from... 213 00:09:20,470 --> 00:09:21,770 from Morristown. 214 00:09:21,800 --> 00:09:24,200 - Yeah. - They're in Butler Heights now. 215 00:09:24,240 --> 00:09:28,110 I mean, I have a lot of friends that's... 216 00:09:28,140 --> 00:09:29,640 Oh, D-Diana! 217 00:09:29,670 --> 00:09:31,240 Diana is one of my frie... 218 00:09:31,280 --> 00:09:33,850 Ahh! Ooh-ooh! 219 00:09:33,880 --> 00:09:35,510 I can't believe you're pregnant! 220 00:09:35,550 --> 00:09:36,680 Oh! 221 00:09:36,720 --> 00:09:38,250 Oh, man. 222 00:09:38,280 --> 00:09:40,650 You really snuck that one in under the wire. 223 00:09:42,350 --> 00:09:44,420 So, who's the father? Is he cute? Is he blonde? 224 00:09:44,460 --> 00:09:46,660 Tall? Blue eyes? I know what you like. 225 00:09:47,690 --> 00:09:50,860 I think I still have some prenatal vitamins left. 226 00:09:52,560 --> 00:09:54,630 Oh, and Mae has outgrown all of her newborn clothes, 227 00:09:54,670 --> 00:09:55,830 so I can give those to you now. 228 00:09:55,870 --> 00:09:58,600 And look, everyone's gonna warn you how painful birth is, 229 00:09:58,640 --> 00:10:00,300 and they are totally right. 230 00:10:00,340 --> 00:10:02,270 The first one is always horrendous, 231 00:10:02,310 --> 00:10:04,540 but by the third one, she just pbht! 232 00:10:04,580 --> 00:10:05,880 Right out of my vagina. 233 00:10:05,910 --> 00:10:07,720 - Diana... - It was like a trap door opened, 234 00:10:07,800 --> 00:10:08,710 and she just slid out... 235 00:10:08,710 --> 00:10:10,300 I don't know if I'm gonna keep 236 00:10:10,380 --> 00:10:11,380 this baby. 237 00:10:16,630 --> 00:10:17,840 Really? 238 00:10:17,870 --> 00:10:19,840 You don't have any white wine, do you? 239 00:10:19,870 --> 00:10:23,640 Jules... 240 00:10:23,670 --> 00:10:26,480 This baby is your sign... 241 00:10:26,510 --> 00:10:29,380 to let go of the past and embrace change. 242 00:10:29,410 --> 00:10:30,680 Parenthood isn't a prison. 243 00:10:30,710 --> 00:10:33,520 It actually... frees parts of yourself 244 00:10:33,550 --> 00:10:35,450 you didn't even know were there. 245 00:10:39,190 --> 00:10:41,490 - What is that? - The princess is up. 246 00:10:41,520 --> 00:10:42,830 Oh, goody! 247 00:10:42,860 --> 00:10:44,360 Ooh! 248 00:10:44,390 --> 00:10:46,360 Oh! 249 00:10:46,400 --> 00:10:47,600 Can you show her how you walk? 250 00:10:47,630 --> 00:10:49,500 Good job. Say hi to Jules! 251 00:10:49,530 --> 00:10:51,770 Oh! 252 00:10:51,800 --> 00:10:53,200 Say hi to Jules! 253 00:10:55,270 --> 00:10:56,470 Do you want to say hi to Jules? 254 00:10:58,270 --> 00:10:59,440 Oh! She likes you! 255 00:10:59,480 --> 00:11:02,110 High five! 256 00:11:05,320 --> 00:11:07,650 Jose, finish your science project, okay? 257 00:11:07,680 --> 00:11:10,250 Carmina, mi Amor. Come on. 258 00:11:10,290 --> 00:11:13,220 55 times 6 is not 300. Try again. 259 00:11:13,260 --> 00:11:16,790 Ransom, break a leg in the play tomorrow. 260 00:11:16,830 --> 00:11:18,290 Marco. Marco? 261 00:11:18,330 --> 00:11:20,230 Polo! 262 00:11:20,260 --> 00:11:23,770 Mijo! 263 00:11:23,800 --> 00:11:25,400 Okay, Daddy's got to go, okay? 264 00:11:25,440 --> 00:11:27,470 - I love you. - I love you. 265 00:11:27,500 --> 00:11:29,410 - I love you. - I love you. 266 00:11:29,440 --> 00:11:31,180 - I love you. - I love you. 267 00:11:31,210 --> 00:11:34,310 - I love you. - I love you. 268 00:11:34,340 --> 00:11:36,280 Okay, Jim. 269 00:11:36,310 --> 00:11:38,650 You're a pretty big part of your kids' lives there, huh? 270 00:11:38,680 --> 00:11:40,550 Uribe talks to them all the time. 271 00:11:40,580 --> 00:11:43,350 And since there's 13 of them, it takes a lot of work. 272 00:11:43,390 --> 00:11:46,520 So, do you... do you love being a dad? 273 00:11:46,560 --> 00:11:47,860 Eh, mas o menos. 274 00:11:47,890 --> 00:11:49,830 Mostly, I hate wearing condoms. 275 00:11:49,860 --> 00:11:53,160 Why wear a saddle when you like to feel the horse? 276 00:11:53,200 --> 00:11:56,630 Because some horses... they have Gonorrhea. 277 00:11:56,670 --> 00:11:59,700 Gonorrhea is worth it, man, to spread your legacy. 278 00:11:59,740 --> 00:12:02,570 Look. Think about it this way. 279 00:12:02,610 --> 00:12:05,440 Every human body is a... is a DNA machine 280 00:12:05,470 --> 00:12:06,910 designed to reproduce. 281 00:12:06,940 --> 00:12:11,380 Inside of you is a... is a genetic coding 282 00:12:11,420 --> 00:12:13,720 that goes back billions of years. 283 00:12:14,950 --> 00:12:17,190 And who are you to break that chain? 284 00:12:17,220 --> 00:12:19,660 Boy. I never thought about my jizz 285 00:12:19,690 --> 00:12:21,930 in terms of geological time. 286 00:12:21,960 --> 00:12:23,660 One of Uribe's baby mamas 287 00:12:23,690 --> 00:12:26,400 is an Anthropology tenure professor 288 00:12:26,430 --> 00:12:28,360 at Howard University. 289 00:12:31,630 --> 00:12:33,740 With an ass that you could just bury your face like that. 290 00:12:33,770 --> 00:12:36,740 Br-Br-Br-Br! 291 00:12:39,580 --> 00:12:41,580 - Who is it? - Brockmire. 292 00:12:41,610 --> 00:12:43,950 Just shut up. Let me talk. 293 00:12:43,980 --> 00:12:46,420 After Lucy, I did not want to have kids. 294 00:12:46,450 --> 00:12:47,950 I just... I didn't want to bring a child 295 00:12:47,980 --> 00:12:49,550 into a world this cold, you know? 296 00:12:49,590 --> 00:12:51,490 But then I met you, darling, 297 00:12:51,520 --> 00:12:53,920 and every day feels like a warm, sunny afternoon to me, 298 00:12:53,960 --> 00:12:55,830 so, I don't know. 299 00:12:55,860 --> 00:12:58,960 I just figure anything half-you can't be all bad, right? 300 00:12:59,000 --> 00:13:00,830 I want to terminate the pregnancy. 301 00:13:00,860 --> 00:13:02,630 Oh, Thank you, God. Seriously. 302 00:13:02,670 --> 00:13:04,500 - Thank you. - I went to see my friend Diana, 303 00:13:04,530 --> 00:13:06,640 and she has this cute, little, fat angel baby, 304 00:13:06,670 --> 00:13:08,370 and... 305 00:13:08,410 --> 00:13:10,770 I sat her in my lap and I stared into her eyes 306 00:13:10,810 --> 00:13:13,510 and I just... I... 307 00:13:13,540 --> 00:13:15,750 I felt nothing. 308 00:13:15,780 --> 00:13:17,780 If that slice of heaven didn't give me a kick 309 00:13:17,810 --> 00:13:21,620 to the Utes, I don't want to be a mom. 310 00:13:21,650 --> 00:13:25,260 Anyway, the team is my baby. 311 00:13:25,290 --> 00:13:28,930 And... in a way... 312 00:13:28,960 --> 00:13:31,800 you and I are raising it together. 313 00:13:31,830 --> 00:13:33,400 Well... 314 00:13:33,430 --> 00:13:37,270 Look, we really dodged a bullet with my DNA, anyway. 315 00:13:37,300 --> 00:13:39,540 Seriously. Alcoholism, drug addiction, 316 00:13:39,570 --> 00:13:41,840 and this voice are all hereditary, for both sexes. 317 00:13:41,870 --> 00:13:43,940 No, every single one of my aunts 318 00:13:43,970 --> 00:13:46,940 was in a barbershop quartet, so... 319 00:13:46,980 --> 00:13:50,050 Yeah. 320 00:13:50,080 --> 00:13:53,950 We're gonna have to go to Pittsburgh for the procedure. 321 00:13:53,980 --> 00:13:55,820 Yeah! Road trip, baby! 322 00:13:55,850 --> 00:13:57,020 A little less enthusiasm. 323 00:13:57,050 --> 00:13:58,620 Sorry. Just... Road trip. 324 00:13:58,660 --> 00:14:00,060 Road trip. 325 00:14:00,090 --> 00:14:02,260 No baby. 326 00:14:04,800 --> 00:14:07,240 And you understand all the risks 327 00:14:07,270 --> 00:14:08,770 in terminating a pregnancy? 328 00:14:08,810 --> 00:14:11,210 Actually, I have a question. Is this like batteries? 329 00:14:11,240 --> 00:14:13,650 Do we have to bring it to the recycling center afterwards? 330 00:14:18,280 --> 00:14:19,620 I'm joking. 331 00:14:19,650 --> 00:14:21,250 You probably get that kind of thing a lot, right? 332 00:14:21,290 --> 00:14:24,390 You know... we really don't. 333 00:14:24,420 --> 00:14:26,290 Okay. 334 00:14:26,330 --> 00:14:28,630 How soon can we schedule the procedure? 335 00:14:32,730 --> 00:14:35,800 That is the procedure. 336 00:14:35,830 --> 00:14:39,270 Based on your ultrasound, you're not yet seven weeks, 337 00:14:39,300 --> 00:14:41,540 so a D&C isn't recommended. 338 00:14:41,570 --> 00:14:45,280 You know, I... Pills are really hard for me. 339 00:14:45,310 --> 00:14:46,810 I'm more of a type of girl. 340 00:14:46,850 --> 00:14:48,950 Please don't use a cocaine gesture in front of me. 341 00:14:48,980 --> 00:14:51,350 - I'm a doctor. - Sorry. 342 00:14:51,380 --> 00:14:52,720 I just want to make sure 343 00:14:52,750 --> 00:14:54,750 that you two have really thought this through. 344 00:14:54,790 --> 00:14:56,660 It's a serious decision. 345 00:14:56,690 --> 00:14:58,290 There are no take-backs. 346 00:14:58,320 --> 00:14:59,820 - No, please. We totally get that. - Yeah. 347 00:14:59,860 --> 00:15:01,760 No, trust me. I have thought about this long and hard, 348 00:15:01,790 --> 00:15:05,500 and this is what's best for us. 349 00:15:05,530 --> 00:15:06,730 And for everyone else. 350 00:15:06,760 --> 00:15:08,700 The world has enough barbershop quartets. 351 00:15:12,400 --> 00:15:15,840 Okay. So. 352 00:15:15,870 --> 00:15:19,580 I want you to take... one pill now 353 00:15:19,610 --> 00:15:23,980 and the other within 8 to 12 hours. 354 00:15:24,020 --> 00:15:25,820 - Now? - Yes. 355 00:15:25,850 --> 00:15:28,390 - Like, right here? - Right now. 356 00:15:28,420 --> 00:15:29,850 Okay. 357 00:15:29,890 --> 00:15:31,860 - All right. - Okay. 358 00:15:31,890 --> 00:15:34,290 No warming up in the bullpen. 359 00:15:38,900 --> 00:15:40,730 - Here we go. - Yep. 360 00:15:46,670 --> 00:15:48,470 You okay? 361 00:15:48,510 --> 00:15:49,470 Mm-hmm. 362 00:15:51,040 --> 00:15:53,480 Is there some... some other way we could give it to her? 363 00:15:53,510 --> 00:15:54,650 No. 364 00:16:01,790 --> 00:16:04,790 It's okay to chew it? 365 00:16:04,820 --> 00:16:07,330 No. 366 00:16:12,300 --> 00:16:14,270 - Ah. Okay. - Good? 367 00:16:20,940 --> 00:16:22,940 Pre-gaming this abortion, darling... 368 00:16:22,980 --> 00:16:25,010 it was the best idea that you ever had. 369 00:16:25,040 --> 00:16:26,810 I know. 370 00:16:26,850 --> 00:16:28,810 I've been cutting back so much. 371 00:16:28,850 --> 00:16:30,380 Now we have to celebrate. 372 00:16:30,420 --> 00:16:32,820 Oh, I agree. 373 00:16:32,850 --> 00:16:35,020 And don't mind if I do! 374 00:16:42,530 --> 00:16:45,360 Ooh, that's got a kick. 375 00:16:45,400 --> 00:16:47,570 Oh, what the hell? 376 00:16:47,600 --> 00:16:49,900 What the hell? 377 00:16:53,870 --> 00:16:56,470 - Ooh! - Okay. 378 00:16:56,510 --> 00:16:58,940 Hello! 379 00:16:58,980 --> 00:17:00,910 Baby! Oh! 380 00:17:00,950 --> 00:17:02,420 - Thoughtful. - Mm-hmm. 381 00:17:02,450 --> 00:17:03,850 Look at how nice that is. 382 00:17:03,880 --> 00:17:05,480 Cheers. 383 00:17:05,520 --> 00:17:07,850 Let's do this. 384 00:17:07,890 --> 00:17:10,090 - Yeah. - Wait, where's my pill? 385 00:17:10,120 --> 00:17:12,020 I don't know. Where is your pill? 386 00:17:12,060 --> 00:17:14,690 I chopped it up so I could toot it. 387 00:17:14,730 --> 00:17:17,900 You know I don't like swallowing lumps of medicine. 388 00:17:24,540 --> 00:17:26,640 You snorted my abortion. 389 00:17:26,670 --> 00:17:28,440 Oh! Oh, you should know better than to... 390 00:17:28,470 --> 00:17:30,340 First of all, greedy! 391 00:17:30,380 --> 00:17:32,410 Second of all, are you freaking kidding me? 392 00:17:32,440 --> 00:17:33,750 All right, all right, all right. 393 00:17:33,780 --> 00:17:35,110 Okay, I'm... I'm gonna die, right? 394 00:17:35,150 --> 00:17:36,820 - Am I gonna die? - I don't know. 395 00:17:36,850 --> 00:17:38,080 Am I going to die? 396 00:17:38,120 --> 00:17:39,890 - I don't know! - Well, let's find out. 397 00:17:39,920 --> 00:17:42,490 Oh, my God. Oh! 398 00:17:42,520 --> 00:17:44,560 What should we do? All right. 399 00:17:44,590 --> 00:17:45,920 What are we gonna do? 400 00:17:45,960 --> 00:17:48,890 - Okay, it burns. I... - Oh, it burns. 401 00:17:48,930 --> 00:17:50,360 Thank you so much for coming in. 402 00:17:50,400 --> 00:17:52,030 Yeah, of course. 403 00:17:52,060 --> 00:17:55,100 In case of emergency, I'm always happy to help. 404 00:17:58,800 --> 00:18:00,610 So, what happened? Something wrong? 405 00:18:02,570 --> 00:18:05,410 All right, suppose just hypothetically... 406 00:18:05,440 --> 00:18:07,780 What if I took one of her pills by mistake? 407 00:18:07,810 --> 00:18:10,020 Would that... What would happen? 408 00:18:10,050 --> 00:18:12,390 I have no idea. That's never happened before. 409 00:18:12,420 --> 00:18:15,120 I guess you're going to experience the same symptoms. 410 00:18:15,150 --> 00:18:19,530 Nausea, cramping, spotting... hypothetically. 411 00:18:19,560 --> 00:18:21,560 I just don't know from where. 412 00:18:21,590 --> 00:18:23,560 Could I just get another pill, please? 413 00:18:30,700 --> 00:18:32,940 Then we'll be out of your hair. 414 00:18:32,970 --> 00:18:36,540 I want you to take that in front of me. 415 00:18:38,710 --> 00:18:41,780 No problem. 416 00:18:41,810 --> 00:18:44,050 - Can we move this along a little bit? - Yep. 417 00:18:58,960 --> 00:19:00,770 I did it. 418 00:19:00,800 --> 00:19:04,670 It just... It just... smoothly went down. 419 00:19:04,700 --> 00:19:06,940 Thank God. 420 00:19:06,970 --> 00:19:09,440 Now you can leave. 421 00:19:09,470 --> 00:19:10,840 And never come back. 422 00:19:10,880 --> 00:19:13,180 All right. You cramping? 423 00:19:13,210 --> 00:19:16,080 - Spotting. - Oh. 424 00:19:19,120 --> 00:19:20,920 Fucking people. 425 00:19:22,150 --> 00:19:24,060 Not a pleasant 24 hours. 426 00:19:24,090 --> 00:19:26,890 Oh, I-I know what you mean. 427 00:19:26,920 --> 00:19:28,690 And apparently, I am the first man 428 00:19:28,730 --> 00:19:31,730 in medical history who can say that. 429 00:19:31,760 --> 00:19:34,830 I didn't expect you to step up and be so supportive. 430 00:19:34,870 --> 00:19:38,170 I know. I-I was surprised by that, too, but... 431 00:19:38,200 --> 00:19:39,350 What can I say? 432 00:19:39,390 --> 00:19:41,710 This is definitely the best relationship of my life, 433 00:19:41,740 --> 00:19:44,220 and... and you're my favorite person. 434 00:19:46,010 --> 00:19:48,850 Okay, what did we learn from this? 435 00:19:48,880 --> 00:19:52,850 If I see a random line, say "No, thank you, I'm fine." 436 00:19:52,890 --> 00:19:54,150 No, I'm serious. 437 00:19:54,190 --> 00:19:56,120 Something positive should come out of this. 438 00:19:56,150 --> 00:19:58,220 We should... We should do something for a kid. 439 00:20:00,660 --> 00:20:02,690 Hey, how about 13 kids? 440 00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:10,970 Man, that is a lot of children. 441 00:20:15,670 --> 00:20:16,940 Yes. Corazon. 442 00:20:16,970 --> 00:20:19,540 Love you, too. 443 00:20:19,580 --> 00:20:21,050 Look at this. 444 00:20:21,080 --> 00:20:23,550 We put a little, tiny bit of good into the world. 445 00:20:23,580 --> 00:20:25,950 Mm-hmm. 446 00:20:28,250 --> 00:20:30,020 Holy shit. Is that... 447 00:20:30,060 --> 00:20:31,890 That's Robbie Butler! 448 00:20:31,920 --> 00:20:33,630 - Robbie Butler? - Jim. 449 00:20:33,660 --> 00:20:34,960 The hell are you doing here, man? 450 00:20:34,990 --> 00:20:36,560 God, it's good to see you! 451 00:20:36,600 --> 00:20:38,930 - Good to see you, buddy. - What are you up to? 452 00:20:38,960 --> 00:20:40,900 Well, I'm coaching at Oklahoma State. 453 00:20:40,930 --> 00:20:42,970 - Get out of here. Well, that's fantastic! - Yeah. 454 00:20:43,000 --> 00:20:44,240 - Yeah. - My God. 455 00:20:44,270 --> 00:20:45,570 How you doing? 456 00:20:45,600 --> 00:20:47,310 Oh, you know, I'm all right. 457 00:20:47,340 --> 00:20:50,910 Hey, Robbie. I... I got to say, 458 00:20:50,940 --> 00:20:53,180 of all the awful things I did in my life, 459 00:20:53,210 --> 00:20:54,910 how I treated you was right up there. 460 00:20:54,950 --> 00:20:57,050 No, really. I mean, you were a good friend 461 00:20:57,080 --> 00:20:58,980 and an adequate broadcaster, and I just... 462 00:20:59,020 --> 00:21:01,990 I should have helped you out more, and, well, I'm sorry. 463 00:21:02,020 --> 00:21:04,260 Well, it's great to hear you say that, Jim. 464 00:21:04,290 --> 00:21:07,160 But, hey, listen. Before we get into our shit, um... 465 00:21:07,190 --> 00:21:09,300 I got to tell you, the reason I'm here is, uh... 466 00:21:09,330 --> 00:21:11,100 Joe Buck sent me to come talk... 467 00:21:11,130 --> 00:21:13,570 - Oh! - No fighting! 468 00:21:13,600 --> 00:21:14,830 You chose the wrong side, Butler! 469 00:21:14,870 --> 00:21:16,170 - Jim! - It's okay, kids. 470 00:21:16,200 --> 00:21:18,100 - They're just pretending! - The kids! 471 00:21:18,140 --> 00:21:20,000 They need to see what justice looks like! 472 00:21:20,040 --> 00:21:21,910 Stop it! No fighting! 473 00:21:21,940 --> 00:21:23,240 Right now, it looks like me 474 00:21:23,280 --> 00:21:25,840 beating the shit out of this traitor! 475 00:21:26,190 --> 00:21:30,260 Synced and corrected by Dragoniod for - www.addic7ed.com - 31625

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