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The following programme contains
strong language and adult humour.
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♪ You can stand
under my umbrella
3
00:00:13,600 --> 00:00:16,560
♪ You can stand under my umbrella
4
00:00:16,560 --> 00:00:18,560
♪ Ella, ella, eh- ♪
5
00:00:18,560 --> 00:00:21,040
Hey, look!
You're ruining Rihanna for me.
6
00:00:21,040 --> 00:00:22,960
You've taken a song about
sexy umbrellas
7
00:00:22,960 --> 00:00:25,280
and deaded it
with your whining vocals.
8
00:00:25,280 --> 00:00:28,080
Choirmaster Greg says
I've got a very soothing voice.
9
00:00:28,080 --> 00:00:31,520
No-one cares about
your cry-for-help dred choir.
10
00:00:31,520 --> 00:00:33,880
My choir is not dred.
11
00:00:33,880 --> 00:00:36,000
Unless dred means amazing fun.
12
00:00:36,000 --> 00:00:38,400
You should join!
Nah, I'll give it a miss, thanks.
13
00:00:38,400 --> 00:00:41,480
It's OK if you're not a good singer
- it's more of a social club.
14
00:00:41,480 --> 00:00:43,800
It's funny actually,
Mythili from the choir
15
00:00:43,800 --> 00:00:46,680
says we should be called a wine club
who sometimes sing!
16
00:00:46,680 --> 00:00:52,360
I don't care. Anyway. I can sing.
17
00:00:52,360 --> 00:00:56,160
I was lead in every school play.
What happened?
18
00:00:56,160 --> 00:00:58,320
Things a big man don't talk about.
19
00:00:58,320 --> 00:01:01,920
All I know is, I swore on
my Mum's life I'd never sing again.
20
00:01:02,840 --> 00:01:05,240
What, not even Happy Birthday?
21
00:01:05,240 --> 00:01:06,960
Nope. I just say that.
22
00:01:06,960 --> 00:01:09,520
Happy Birthday to you,
happy birthday to you,
23
00:01:09,520 --> 00:01:12,120
happy birthday you little idiot,
24
00:01:12,120 --> 00:01:13,680
happy birthday to you.
25
00:01:19,840 --> 00:01:29,320
♪ Yeah, yeah!
26
00:01:29,320 --> 00:01:31,720
♪ Yeah, yeah
27
00:01:31,720 --> 00:01:33,120
♪ Yeah ♪
28
00:01:35,240 --> 00:01:37,480
Let's try and get this boot off.
29
00:01:38,560 --> 00:01:41,240
Can you sign this, quickly?
30
00:01:41,240 --> 00:01:43,800
'I swear on my life and reputation,
31
00:01:43,800 --> 00:01:45,800
Kareshma will not let you down'?
32
00:01:47,760 --> 00:01:49,480
This has my name on it.
Fine!
33
00:01:49,480 --> 00:01:51,120
I need
a letter of recommendation from you
34
00:01:51,120 --> 00:01:52,680
for the management training course.
35
00:01:52,680 --> 00:01:54,720
I can't recommend you for
management training.
36
00:01:54,720 --> 00:01:57,080
You've only been
in the job eight weeks.
37
00:01:57,080 --> 00:01:59,960
Right, off we pop!
38
00:02:02,200 --> 00:02:03,800
Ooh!
39
00:02:03,800 --> 00:02:06,280
Looks like one little piggie's
gone to market.
40
00:02:08,320 --> 00:02:11,680
Oh! You found it! Well done you.
41
00:02:11,680 --> 00:02:15,080
♪ Amazing grace
42
00:02:15,080 --> 00:02:17,880
♪ How sweet the sound. ♪
43
00:02:17,880 --> 00:02:20,520
Come on, join in!
Never gonna happen.
44
00:02:20,520 --> 00:02:24,240
Me and my Spencer used to
sing together. Girls Aloud.
45
00:02:24,240 --> 00:02:25,840
Maybe you could be like that.
46
00:02:25,840 --> 00:02:28,120
Don't compare me
to your messed up son.
47
00:02:28,120 --> 00:02:30,960
I get it - you're sad,
cos he never calls you often,
48
00:02:30,960 --> 00:02:32,520
but I ain't tappin' in
for that brother.
49
00:02:32,520 --> 00:02:35,160
Please. Just one song?
No!
50
00:02:35,160 --> 00:02:39,000
Look, the only time I'll ever sing
again will be at my wife's funeral.
51
00:02:39,000 --> 00:02:40,640
Yeah, the priest'll be like,
52
00:02:40,640 --> 00:02:43,320
'Rihanna's husband
wanted to say a few words.'
53
00:02:43,320 --> 00:02:46,640
And I'll get up, grab the mic and
sing Boyz 2 Men, End of the Road.
54
00:02:46,640 --> 00:02:48,920
You get me?
I don't know that, how does it go?
55
00:02:48,920 --> 00:02:51,040
Nice try.
# Amazing grace ♪
56
00:02:51,040 --> 00:02:53,120
Fuck's sake.
57
00:02:53,120 --> 00:02:57,080
♪ How sweet the sound ♪
58
00:02:57,080 --> 00:03:02,440
♪ That saved
a wretch like me ♪
59
00:03:02,440 --> 00:03:05,680
Hey! Hey! Yeah.
We're gonna shut that shit down
60
00:03:05,680 --> 00:03:08,480
before I switch.
You should join my choir.
61
00:03:08,480 --> 00:03:11,400
We prefer karaoke.
We do Lucky Voice twice a week.
62
00:03:11,400 --> 00:03:13,400
Ooh, I like karaoke.
63
00:03:13,400 --> 00:03:15,760
It's a private booth.
64
00:03:18,760 --> 00:03:24,040
OK, Majors are freeing up space for
your guy. The other two can wait.
65
00:03:24,040 --> 00:03:28,280
Nurse! Need to get rid of
this one - yesterday!
66
00:03:28,280 --> 00:03:30,480
Seen faster handovers at Argos.
67
00:03:30,480 --> 00:03:33,160
Wow. Feisty and fit, huh?
68
00:03:33,160 --> 00:03:36,880
Hey, if you can shit Mars Bars
you might just be my dream lass.
69
00:03:36,880 --> 00:03:41,000
Piss off, mate.
Sorry, was only flirting with you.
70
00:03:41,000 --> 00:03:44,200
Oh. Right. Cheers, didn't realise.
71
00:03:44,200 --> 00:03:46,720
I don't get flirted with often,
but er...
72
00:03:46,720 --> 00:03:48,520
You've got nice legs.
What time do they open?
73
00:03:49,920 --> 00:03:51,520
Jo.
Carl.
74
00:03:51,520 --> 00:03:53,720
Shiny boots, Carl. Ex-army?
75
00:03:53,720 --> 00:03:57,480
Aye, yeah. Armoured corps.
Nice. Remind me, was it 2010?
76
00:03:57,480 --> 00:03:59,840
-What?
-When they started
letting pussies in?
77
00:03:59,840 --> 00:04:02,120
Must have been if you got in.
78
00:04:02,120 --> 00:04:04,440
You've got good banter, Jo.
Oh. Thanks, yes.
79
00:04:04,440 --> 00:04:06,400
Don't suppose I could get
-your number?
-Yeah, yeah.
80
00:04:06,400 --> 00:04:08,400
Just in case I need a paramedic.
81
00:04:08,400 --> 00:04:10,680
I do tend to suffer from
swelling in some areas.
82
00:04:10,680 --> 00:04:14,040
Yeah, yeah. It's 07845 2-
83
00:04:16,040 --> 00:04:18,680
Swelling. I get it.
84
00:04:18,680 --> 00:04:21,040
Your cock?
-Yeah, I was on about my cock.
-Funny.
85
00:04:21,040 --> 00:04:23,200
Yo Dad, what's up?
86
00:04:23,200 --> 00:04:25,320
I need you to fix the wifi
immediately.
87
00:04:25,320 --> 00:04:28,080
I can't, I'm working.
You can pop by.
88
00:04:28,080 --> 00:04:30,920
No, I literally can't.
I've got sick people to deal with.
89
00:04:30,920 --> 00:04:34,120
Emergencies.
A father is an emergency.
90
00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:38,320
Fine, I'll pop by tonight.
91
00:04:39,320 --> 00:04:41,600
Is that why you don't sing?
92
00:04:41,600 --> 00:04:43,760
Did your Dad forbid it?
93
00:04:43,760 --> 00:04:46,240
When all you wanted to do
was express yourself?
94
00:04:46,240 --> 00:04:48,160
Yo, I'm not Billy Elliot.
95
00:04:49,800 --> 00:04:52,840
I can't give a reference for
something I don't believe in.
96
00:04:52,840 --> 00:04:54,640
I don't see
what your rush is anyway.
97
00:04:54,640 --> 00:04:59,600
If I'm rushing it's because
I've waited long enough already.
98
00:04:59,600 --> 00:05:02,440
I should be a doctor by now, but...
99
00:05:02,440 --> 00:05:07,000
Glandular fever got in my way.
It ruined my A-levels...
100
00:05:07,000 --> 00:05:08,400
..stole my destiny.
101
00:05:08,400 --> 00:05:10,400
I tell you what.
I'll write your letter.
102
00:05:10,400 --> 00:05:14,160
Yes! Knew you'd cave. Pathetic.
103
00:05:14,160 --> 00:05:16,760
In twelve months, if you can
prove to me you're ready then.
104
00:05:18,120 --> 00:05:20,400
'451, I've got one for you.'
105
00:05:20,400 --> 00:05:23,040
Chest pains. Male, 60s.
106
00:05:23,920 --> 00:05:25,800
It's your Dad's address!
107
00:05:30,240 --> 00:05:32,840
Yes, I'll pick up the ribs.
108
00:05:32,840 --> 00:05:34,840
Who's coming?
109
00:05:37,120 --> 00:05:40,200
No, she didn't tell me.
110
00:05:40,200 --> 00:05:43,040
OK, later potat-er.
111
00:05:44,720 --> 00:05:48,080
That was Trish. She said you're
coming to our barbecue this evening?
112
00:05:48,080 --> 00:05:51,440
How does Trish know who you are?
113
00:05:51,440 --> 00:05:53,200
I called her!
114
00:05:53,200 --> 00:05:54,920
I took her number from your phone.
115
00:05:54,920 --> 00:05:58,960
Oh, OK. Why?
116
00:05:58,960 --> 00:06:01,360
I just know we're
gonna be friends.
117
00:06:05,480 --> 00:06:07,960
Sir, can you describe
these chest pains?
118
00:06:07,960 --> 00:06:10,160
Humungous, but gone now.
119
00:06:10,160 --> 00:06:12,520
Whilst you're here, son,
I need you to fix the wifi.
120
00:06:12,520 --> 00:06:15,360
Look what I've got. Virtual reality.
121
00:06:15,360 --> 00:06:17,440
I need the wifi
so I can watch a film.
122
00:06:17,440 --> 00:06:18,960
Ooh, anything good?
123
00:06:18,960 --> 00:06:21,320
It's a romantic film
about two women.
124
00:06:21,320 --> 00:06:23,040
Maleek, your friend asks
too many questions.
125
00:06:23,040 --> 00:06:26,960
Dad, let her work. Wendy,
stop asking big people questions.
126
00:06:29,720 --> 00:06:33,600
So, Maleek was telling me earlier
about why he stopped singing.
127
00:06:33,600 --> 00:06:37,040
Oh, the Aladdin thing?
Oh Lord, it was funny!
128
00:06:37,040 --> 00:06:39,320
He was meant to be a genie. Hmm?
129
00:06:39,320 --> 00:06:41,560
Painted all blue, like a fat smurf.
130
00:06:41,560 --> 00:06:44,960
OK, OK. It was a school play,
I played a genie,
131
00:06:44,960 --> 00:06:46,440
it went wrong, done!
132
00:06:46,440 --> 00:06:49,440
He came out on a magic carpet
on wires.
133
00:06:49,440 --> 00:06:52,480
Over the audience, and then...
134
00:06:52,480 --> 00:06:55,320
..He got stuck up there.
That sounds terrifying!
135
00:06:55,320 --> 00:06:58,440
No, you are not listening. It was
very funnybecausehe was scared.
136
00:06:58,440 --> 00:07:00,640
And he was blue and fat, you see?
137
00:07:00,640 --> 00:07:02,800
Had to wait up there until
the fire brigade came.
138
00:07:02,800 --> 00:07:05,520
Every flippin' kid
in South London showed up.
139
00:07:05,520 --> 00:07:09,240
Even the mandem pulled up with
laser pens, shining it on me,
140
00:07:09,240 --> 00:07:12,920
trying to get me to fall down.
I filmed it. Look.
141
00:07:12,920 --> 00:07:15,880
Dad, help!
-This is
the bit where he nearly falls.
142
00:07:15,880 --> 00:07:17,800
Alright, do you known what,
we're done. So...
143
00:07:17,800 --> 00:07:20,560
Goodbye. I shll watch my
romantic film now.
144
00:07:26,120 --> 00:07:28,480
'451 Papa Kilo,
got a mental health.
145
00:07:28,480 --> 00:07:30,920
Elderly woman lost by the canal.'
146
00:07:32,240 --> 00:07:35,720
Ey up, duck,
everything okey dokey?
147
00:07:35,720 --> 00:07:37,160
She seems really confused.
148
00:07:37,160 --> 00:07:40,000
No, she's just from up north.
They all...
149
00:07:40,000 --> 00:07:42,200
Oh, you meant her. Sorry.
150
00:07:42,200 --> 00:07:44,880
What's your name, my love?
Joan.
151
00:07:44,880 --> 00:07:47,800
Where do you live?
I don't know.
152
00:07:47,800 --> 00:07:50,160
That's OK!
153
00:07:50,160 --> 00:07:53,680
Why don't we go and sit over here
and see if we can figure this out.
154
00:07:53,680 --> 00:07:56,680
OK? I don't think it's
a very comfortable bench,
155
00:07:56,680 --> 00:07:58,600
but it'll do for now.
156
00:07:58,600 --> 00:08:01,280
Are you my son?
157
00:08:01,280 --> 00:08:04,360
Me? Just...
158
00:08:05,320 --> 00:08:06,720
No. No.
159
00:08:10,120 --> 00:08:13,440
Sorry Lawrence.
I got this bloke texting me.
160
00:08:14,440 --> 00:08:17,480
It's a bit embarrassing. It's this
nurse that hit on me this morning.
161
00:08:19,000 --> 00:08:22,360
Keeps flirting with me.
I'm like, 'bit keen mate.'
162
00:08:25,200 --> 00:08:27,520
What's he like?
Nurse. Fit.
163
00:08:27,520 --> 00:08:29,240
Mm.
Mm.
164
00:08:29,240 --> 00:08:30,800
So, are you into him?
Mmm.
165
00:08:30,800 --> 00:08:34,440
Didn't think you were
-on the lookout.
-No, I'm not but...
166
00:08:34,440 --> 00:08:37,520
Why not go for it? You know?
167
00:08:37,520 --> 00:08:40,360
I can't wait around
for Mr Right forever.
168
00:08:40,360 --> 00:08:43,960
So, I might as well
have fun with Mr Fit.
169
00:08:43,960 --> 00:08:46,040
-Go for it!
-Mm.
What's stopping you?
170
00:08:46,040 --> 00:08:48,920
What is stopping me?
Mmm.
171
00:08:48,920 --> 00:08:51,160
What is stopping you?
172
00:08:52,560 --> 00:08:54,880
What is stopping me.
173
00:08:54,880 --> 00:08:56,680
What is stopping you?
174
00:08:56,680 --> 00:08:59,200
'421 Zulu Mike,
we got a Cat 1 seizure.'
175
00:08:59,200 --> 00:09:00,800
Yeah, on my way.
176
00:09:00,800 --> 00:09:03,240
I got to go.
What is stopping me? Oh.
177
00:09:15,280 --> 00:09:17,640
Must be horrible not being able to
remember where you live.
178
00:09:17,640 --> 00:09:19,160
Easy for you though.
179
00:09:19,160 --> 00:09:21,160
What? Your house sounds horrible.
180
00:09:21,160 --> 00:09:24,080
Oh, I've got used to
living above the arcade now.
181
00:09:24,080 --> 00:09:26,920
My life's on the up!
I've got my choir...
182
00:09:26,920 --> 00:09:28,320
Alright, you're waffling now.
183
00:09:28,320 --> 00:09:30,360
Hang on a minute,
that might help her.
184
00:09:30,360 --> 00:09:33,440
You're not kidnapping an old lady
and putting her in your choir.
185
00:09:33,440 --> 00:09:36,880
No. I read about it. Singing can
help dementia patients
186
00:09:36,880 --> 00:09:39,320
access their past.
187
00:09:39,320 --> 00:09:41,280
Joan...
188
00:09:41,280 --> 00:09:43,440
Do you like old songs?
189
00:09:43,440 --> 00:09:45,440
I bet you do, don't you?
190
00:09:45,440 --> 00:09:47,240
What about this one?
191
00:09:47,240 --> 00:09:50,840
♪ Sally, Sally
192
00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:54,040
♪ Don't ever wander... ♪
193
00:09:54,040 --> 00:09:56,080
Can you remember
where you live, Joan?
194
00:09:56,080 --> 00:09:58,520
Who the hell are you?
195
00:09:58,520 --> 00:10:00,960
Oh well, it was worth a go.
196
00:10:00,960 --> 00:10:03,200
I'll go and get us
a cuppa while we wait.
197
00:10:03,200 --> 00:10:04,600
Yeah, you do that.
198
00:10:04,600 --> 00:10:06,520
I'm just nipping off, Joan!
199
00:10:06,520 --> 00:10:09,360
I'm going to leave you
with your son. Alright?
200
00:10:13,120 --> 00:10:16,440
Sorry about that, Joan.
As if you'd like that bullshit.
201
00:10:16,440 --> 00:10:19,960
D'you know what?
My gran used to like one song. Um...
202
00:10:19,960 --> 00:10:22,480
Nah...
203
00:10:25,840 --> 00:10:30,760
♪ Oh, she may be weary
204
00:10:30,760 --> 00:10:33,920
♪ Young girls they do get weary
205
00:10:33,920 --> 00:10:40,720
♪ Wearing that same old
shaggy dress, yeah. ♪
206
00:10:40,720 --> 00:10:42,880
Oh, you like
a little bit of Otis, yeah?
207
00:10:42,880 --> 00:10:44,640
Yeah!
208
00:10:44,640 --> 00:10:48,080
♪ But when she gets weary
209
00:10:48,080 --> 00:10:53,120
♪ Try a little tenderness ♪
210
00:10:53,120 --> 00:10:57,240
Yes! Joan bustin'
a lickle two step!
211
00:10:57,240 --> 00:10:59,360
I like that one!
Yeah!
212
00:10:59,360 --> 00:11:00,760
♪ You know she's waiting ♪
213
00:11:03,000 --> 00:11:07,160
♪ Just anticipating
214
00:11:07,160 --> 00:11:12,960
♪ For things that she'll never,
never, never, never, never, possess
215
00:11:12,960 --> 00:11:15,200
♪ Yeeeaaah... ♪
216
00:11:15,200 --> 00:11:18,960
Oh!
No, don't stop! It's working!
217
00:11:18,960 --> 00:11:21,920
-Is it?
-Yeah!
218
00:11:21,920 --> 00:11:27,240
Agh.
# But while she's there waiting
219
00:11:27,240 --> 00:11:28,880
♪ Without them
220
00:11:28,880 --> 00:11:33,760
♪ Try a little tenderness.
221
00:11:33,760 --> 00:11:37,640
♪ That's all you got to do... ♪
222
00:11:37,640 --> 00:11:39,040
Bruv, landscape, man.
223
00:11:39,040 --> 00:11:41,600
If you're gonna do the ting, do the
ting, innit? You get me?
224
00:11:44,600 --> 00:11:48,880
Oh great news!
Lou's coming to the barbecue later.
225
00:11:48,880 --> 00:11:51,360
Not till late though,
cos she's double-booked.
226
00:11:51,360 --> 00:11:54,400
Classic Lou.
How do you know about my daughter?
227
00:11:54,400 --> 00:11:57,560
She really shouldn't share
so much on social media.
228
00:11:57,560 --> 00:12:00,840
There's some
messed-up people out there.
229
00:12:00,840 --> 00:12:02,440
Are you threatening my family?
230
00:12:02,440 --> 00:12:04,720
If I was worried about someone
threatening my family,
231
00:12:04,720 --> 00:12:07,760
I'd sign a letter of recommendation
to get them out of my life.
232
00:12:07,760 --> 00:12:11,960
I'm not scared of your threats.
Bright girl, Lou. Very smart.
233
00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:15,960
God, I hope nothing happens
to distract her from her A-Levels.
234
00:12:22,240 --> 00:12:24,800
-Banter, innit?
-Yeah.
It's so important in this job.
235
00:12:24,800 --> 00:12:26,720
Yes. Yes, Carl.
236
00:12:26,720 --> 00:12:28,880
Honestly, I think banter's
more important for your health
237
00:12:28,880 --> 00:12:30,720
than any drug or machine
they've got in there.
238
00:12:32,400 --> 00:12:34,800
Obviously no.
No.
239
00:12:40,840 --> 00:12:43,800
So funny, Carl.
240
00:12:43,800 --> 00:12:45,760
Oh, hi Lawrence,
what are you doing here?
241
00:12:45,760 --> 00:12:47,720
You said you needed to see me
urgently.
242
00:12:48,800 --> 00:12:51,120
Yeah. Uh...
243
00:12:51,120 --> 00:12:53,680
Need you to sign
Darrell's birthday card.
244
00:12:55,120 --> 00:12:57,640
Here?
Yeah. Because...
245
00:12:57,640 --> 00:12:59,400
I don't want him
to see it at the depot.
246
00:12:59,400 --> 00:13:01,520
So... yeah.
247
00:13:01,520 --> 00:13:03,400
That's why... I got you...
248
00:13:03,400 --> 00:13:05,640
Oh! This is Carl, by the way.
249
00:13:05,640 --> 00:13:07,640
The nurse.
Nice to meet you, Carl.
250
00:13:07,640 --> 00:13:09,920
Alright. I like your bike.
251
00:13:09,920 --> 00:13:11,920
OK, actually, Carl,
I think, you might...
252
00:13:11,920 --> 00:13:14,080
..You should probably
get back in. Oooh, yeah.
253
00:13:14,080 --> 00:13:16,160
OK.
Make a move.
254
00:13:18,120 --> 00:13:20,600
Look at that arse. Look at it.
255
00:13:20,600 --> 00:13:22,840
Could sharpen your knives on that.
256
00:13:22,840 --> 00:13:25,520
So, do you have the card, or..?
What?
257
00:13:25,520 --> 00:13:26,920
The card?
Oh, the... er....
258
00:13:26,920 --> 00:13:29,680
No. I need you to get it.
259
00:13:29,680 --> 00:13:31,720
You want me to get the card.
Yes, if you don't mind.
260
00:13:31,720 --> 00:13:34,240
Why did you tell me to come here?
Because there is a very nice
261
00:13:34,240 --> 00:13:36,800
gift shop,
and thought it might be nice...
262
00:13:36,800 --> 00:13:39,240
It's in a month,
but I just thought, you know,
263
00:13:39,240 --> 00:13:41,800
let's get ahead of the game
and get him a really nice card.
264
00:13:41,800 --> 00:13:46,440
Maybe decorate it.
Right.
265
00:13:46,440 --> 00:13:48,720
♪ Squeeze her
Don't tease her.
266
00:13:48,720 --> 00:13:50,600
♪ You never leave her.
267
00:13:50,600 --> 00:13:53,680
♪ You got to, got to,
got to, got to, got to
268
00:13:53,680 --> 00:13:56,240
♪ Try a little tenderness.
269
00:13:56,240 --> 00:13:58,320
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh!
270
00:13:58,320 --> 00:14:00,840
Oh shit!
Me and my Len,
271
00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:03,400
we used to love this one!
272
00:14:03,400 --> 00:14:05,880
Can you remember your address, Joan?
273
00:14:05,880 --> 00:14:07,960
Er... er, no.
For God's sake.
274
00:14:07,960 --> 00:14:11,000
Mum? What you doing out here? You
can't go wandering off like that.
275
00:14:11,000 --> 00:14:13,840
Look. Your brother is alive!
276
00:14:13,840 --> 00:14:16,840
Oh! Ta-da!
277
00:14:16,840 --> 00:14:18,600
Back from the dead.
278
00:14:22,880 --> 00:14:25,320
He's just sent me an aubergine.
279
00:14:25,320 --> 00:14:28,200
Think we all know what that means.
He's into horitculture?
280
00:14:28,200 --> 00:14:30,560
It's emoji for cock, for boner.
281
00:14:30,560 --> 00:14:34,040
-That's what it means.
-OK.
Everyone knows that.
282
00:14:34,040 --> 00:14:36,120
Sent him a water splash.
283
00:14:36,120 --> 00:14:39,320
Right. Dating's certainly
changed a lot since I was single.
284
00:14:39,320 --> 00:14:41,440
You are single, Lawrence.
285
00:14:42,400 --> 00:14:44,520
Yes, I suppose...
Oh my God!
286
00:14:44,520 --> 00:14:47,440
Er... He's not just
sent you a cabbage, has he?
287
00:14:49,240 --> 00:14:52,760
He has just texted asking if I want
a bunk-up in the disabled loos.
288
00:14:52,760 --> 00:14:55,120
-He spelt that wrong, actually.
-God,
I can't believe that.
289
00:14:55,120 --> 00:14:57,520
Can you believe that, Lawrence?
-Judging by his earlier texts?
-Yeah?
290
00:14:57,520 --> 00:14:59,880
Yeah. He's pretty forward.
Yeah.
291
00:14:59,880 --> 00:15:02,920
You're not gonna do it, are you?
292
00:15:02,920 --> 00:15:04,800
Why, you jealous?
293
00:15:04,800 --> 00:15:07,360
-Joke.
-No.
No, I was just joking.
294
00:15:07,360 --> 00:15:08,840
You're free to do what you want.
I know.
295
00:15:08,840 --> 00:15:13,160
Just looking out for you as a mate.
Well, mate.
296
00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:19,120
Unless you want to stop me,
297
00:15:19,120 --> 00:15:20,520
Er...
298
00:15:22,960 --> 00:15:26,960
I'm off to the bogs for a bit of...
299
00:15:31,960 --> 00:15:35,680
Um, lips are really dry.
300
00:15:36,560 --> 00:15:38,080
So....
Mm-hmm.
301
00:15:38,080 --> 00:15:40,240
I'll see you.
302
00:15:41,760 --> 00:15:43,360
I didn't say anything.
Oh no!
303
00:15:43,360 --> 00:15:46,800
Sounded like you said 'stop'?
No... But you didn't. No?
304
00:15:46,800 --> 00:15:49,320
Good. Good.
305
00:15:50,840 --> 00:15:52,440
Hey!
Woo!
306
00:15:52,440 --> 00:15:53,880
Alright. So.
307
00:15:53,880 --> 00:15:55,720
Callipo for you. Callipo for me.
308
00:15:55,720 --> 00:15:58,360
Gracias senior.
De nada.
309
00:15:58,360 --> 00:16:00,240
You were amazing!
310
00:16:00,240 --> 00:16:02,040
You didn't do too bad
yourself though.
311
00:16:02,040 --> 00:16:04,280
You started to drag towards the end.
312
00:16:04,280 --> 00:16:06,840
But it's cool. I can pick up
the slack, I can carry you.
313
00:16:06,840 --> 00:16:09,800
Just do better next time, man.
Oh, we've got cat 1.
314
00:16:09,800 --> 00:16:13,040
♪ Cat one! Cat one! ♪
315
00:16:13,040 --> 00:16:15,600
It's your Dad again.
Oh, for God's sake.
316
00:16:15,600 --> 00:16:17,480
You need to confront him about this.
317
00:16:17,480 --> 00:16:20,800
Look, you don't just confront
an African dad.
318
00:16:20,800 --> 00:16:24,000
Who looks down on ya and has stopped
you fulfilling your potential.
319
00:16:24,000 --> 00:16:27,000
Just like those boys
stopped you singing,
320
00:16:27,000 --> 00:16:28,760
but you're bigger than all of them.
321
00:16:28,760 --> 00:16:30,800
Why you do you always have to
bring up my weight?
322
00:16:35,520 --> 00:16:37,840
-Aye aye!
-Yup.
Hey, hey, hey! here she is!
323
00:16:37,840 --> 00:16:40,640
Here I am.
324
00:16:40,640 --> 00:16:44,000
Let the para see the medic.
Very funny.
325
00:16:45,520 --> 00:16:47,600
Right.
326
00:16:47,600 --> 00:16:50,000
Come on.
327
00:16:51,880 --> 00:16:54,320
I can't do this.
328
00:16:54,320 --> 00:16:55,760
I'm a grower, like!
329
00:16:55,760 --> 00:16:58,360
It's not that. It's, er...
330
00:16:59,360 --> 00:17:04,000
I'm sorry mate.
You're a sound bloke but...
331
00:17:04,000 --> 00:17:06,880
I'm kind of into someone else.
Oh right.
332
00:17:06,880 --> 00:17:09,240
Really sorry
to mess you about, mate.
333
00:17:09,240 --> 00:17:12,360
I'll leave, no probs.
Actually, er...
334
00:17:12,360 --> 00:17:15,480
I know it's a bit of a pain,
but he's out there
335
00:17:15,480 --> 00:17:20,480
and I don't want him knowing
that I've bottled it.
336
00:17:20,480 --> 00:17:22,880
Ah right.
You want to make him jealous.
337
00:17:22,880 --> 00:17:25,200
Got it.
338
00:17:25,200 --> 00:17:27,400
-Alright.
-Idiot.
We'll just wait in here.
339
00:17:27,400 --> 00:17:31,840
Cheers. Cheers, mate.
I appreciate that, yeah.
340
00:17:31,840 --> 00:17:35,520
Yeah.
341
00:17:37,160 --> 00:17:39,600
You can put your cock away.
342
00:17:43,440 --> 00:17:47,320
I can’t wait for the barbecue.
Your Jack’s gonna be there.
343
00:17:47,320 --> 00:17:49,400
I just know we’ll get along!
344
00:17:49,400 --> 00:17:50,920
I hope I don’t
miss the last tube home.
345
00:17:50,920 --> 00:17:54,160
Then I might have to stay over and
fuck your son.
346
00:17:55,760 --> 00:17:59,880
I’m sorry,
but you’ve pushed me to this.
347
00:17:59,880 --> 00:18:04,320
And, quite frankly, well, part of me
isn’t even sorry actually.
348
00:18:07,720 --> 00:18:09,120
OK, what’s in the tube?
349
00:18:09,120 --> 00:18:12,600
I went to
the infectious diseases ward.
350
00:18:12,600 --> 00:18:15,720
There was a girl there...
with glandular fever.
351
00:18:17,040 --> 00:18:20,440
So I took a swab from her,
because I will not be bullied!
352
00:18:20,440 --> 00:18:23,800
You're bluffing.
I absolutely am not.
353
00:18:23,800 --> 00:18:27,000
And if you won't listen to reason,
then maybe you'll think twice
354
00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:30,240
about getting glandular fever again.
Hey! Stop.
355
00:18:30,240 --> 00:18:32,320
I tried being nice, Kareshma.
356
00:18:32,320 --> 00:18:34,200
But then you came for my family.
357
00:18:35,560 --> 00:18:37,240
And if you come for my family,
358
00:18:37,240 --> 00:18:41,280
then you better come armed,
because I will...
359
00:18:41,280 --> 00:18:43,640
..f-f-fuck you up.
360
00:18:45,360 --> 00:18:47,960
Wow. Gary.
361
00:18:51,080 --> 00:18:56,000
Well played.
Oh, don't! I feel awful about this!
362
00:18:57,960 --> 00:19:01,240
Lord have mercy, son,
it's as if you in the film!
363
00:19:01,240 --> 00:19:04,240
Now, I need my dinner
putting in the microwave.
364
00:19:04,240 --> 00:19:07,480
We can't do this.
People actually need us.
365
00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:10,440
What if Joan
was wandering around out there?
366
00:19:10,440 --> 00:19:12,640
What if she went under a bus
and we could have saved her?
367
00:19:12,640 --> 00:19:15,760
Look, it's complicated.
Tell him no.
368
00:19:17,080 --> 00:19:19,440
Let me just put the ting in
the microwave, man.
369
00:19:23,960 --> 00:19:26,800
Getting the silent treatment, am I?
370
00:19:26,800 --> 00:19:29,240
You don't understand,
so maybe you keep your beak out.
371
00:19:29,240 --> 00:19:32,680
No. If Maleek won't stand up
to you then I will.
372
00:19:32,680 --> 00:19:35,400
This job is hard enough, OK?
373
00:19:35,400 --> 00:19:38,960
There are people out there, hundreds
of people going through their worst,
374
00:19:38,960 --> 00:19:40,800
and we're their only hope.
375
00:19:40,800 --> 00:19:43,760
Every second we spend on
a timewaster like you
376
00:19:43,760 --> 00:19:45,800
is a second we're not saving lives.
377
00:19:45,800 --> 00:19:48,440
Saving lives?
(COUGHS, LAUGHING) You and Aladdin?
378
00:19:48,440 --> 00:19:51,720
Your son is not a joke!
He's brave, he's sweet
379
00:19:51,720 --> 00:19:54,480
and he deserves a dad
who respects him,
380
00:19:54,480 --> 00:19:58,640
not some pointy-shoed bully
who treats him like shit!
381
00:19:58,640 --> 00:20:02,200
Got nothing
to say for yourself now, have you?
382
00:20:02,200 --> 00:20:04,280
Mr.... Rude head.
383
00:20:06,320 --> 00:20:08,040
Dad, stop messing around -
it's not funny.
384
00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:10,160
He's not messing around.
He's gone into arrest.
385
00:20:10,160 --> 00:20:12,520
Come on!
Get him on the floor.
386
00:20:18,080 --> 00:20:20,040
It's funny, isn't it?
387
00:20:20,040 --> 00:20:21,720
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And clever.
388
00:20:21,720 --> 00:20:25,040
Yeah. Yeah, it is.
Always liked Family Guy.
389
00:20:25,040 --> 00:20:27,040
Yeah.
390
00:20:27,040 --> 00:20:29,680
Oh. Er, ah.
391
00:20:30,880 --> 00:20:32,280
Jo. What?
392
00:20:35,040 --> 00:20:37,040
Oh, OK, God.
393
00:20:38,200 --> 00:20:41,880
Shit. Er... One of my team's
just lost their dad.
394
00:20:41,880 --> 00:20:44,600
Bloody hell.
Yeah.
395
00:20:44,600 --> 00:20:46,280
Er...
396
00:20:46,280 --> 00:20:49,200
If it'd help we could...
397
00:20:50,080 --> 00:20:52,040
You know...
398
00:20:53,400 --> 00:20:56,000
-Mate!
-Wrong moment.
399
00:20:56,000 --> 00:20:59,360
Whoa, no. Oh, mate! No!
400
00:20:59,360 --> 00:21:02,640
You should go.
No! No!
401
00:21:03,880 --> 00:21:05,960
♪ "Try a Little Tenderness" -
Otis Redding
402
00:21:05,960 --> 00:21:08,040
♪ Wearing that
same old shabby dress... ♪
403
00:21:08,040 --> 00:21:10,480
'Emergency, ambulance.
Is the patient breathing?'
404
00:21:10,480 --> 00:21:12,360
'I tried to wake her,
but nothing's working.
405
00:21:12,360 --> 00:21:15,800
She's not waking up.'
'Lady passed out on the road.
406
00:21:15,800 --> 00:21:20,240
I don't think she's breathing.'
'I can hear the ambulance outside.'
407
00:21:20,240 --> 00:21:24,760
♪ Try a little tenderness
408
00:21:24,760 --> 00:21:26,880
♪ Yeah... ♪
409
00:21:33,920 --> 00:21:38,480
♪ You know she's waiting
410
00:21:38,480 --> 00:21:43,240
♪ Just anticipating
411
00:21:43,240 --> 00:21:45,680
♪ For things that she'll never,
412
00:21:45,680 --> 00:21:53,560
♪ Never, never, never possess, yeah
413
00:21:53,560 --> 00:21:56,960
♪ While she's there waiting
414
00:21:56,960 --> 00:21:58,600
♪ Without them
415
00:21:58,600 --> 00:22:00,000
♪ Try a little tenderness ♪
416
00:22:02,600 --> 00:22:06,120
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