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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,960 The following programme contains strong language and adult humour. 2 00:00:10,400 --> 00:00:13,080 '402, X-ray, Yankee. Unconscious male. 3 00:00:13,120 --> 00:00:14,440 Been dragged from the river.' 4 00:00:14,480 --> 00:00:16,920 Come on, mate, stay with me. 5 00:00:16,960 --> 00:00:19,160 26, 27, 28, 6 00:00:19,200 --> 00:00:20,680 29, 30. 7 00:00:22,200 --> 00:00:25,200 No rhythm, keep going. Kevin, are you ready for the defib? 8 00:00:25,240 --> 00:00:28,320 I'm locked and loaded. Not now, Maleek. OK? 9 00:00:28,360 --> 00:00:30,520 Just let me know and I'll shock this brother! 10 00:00:30,560 --> 00:00:32,600 17, 18... We're at three minutes, Kev. 11 00:00:32,640 --> 00:00:35,640 Just let me bring my man back from the dead. We got this! 12 00:00:35,680 --> 00:00:38,240 24, 25, 26 - 13 00:00:38,280 --> 00:00:40,560 OK, we got a pulse. Yes! 14 00:00:40,600 --> 00:00:43,120 You see? You lot thought my man was gone. 15 00:00:43,160 --> 00:00:46,680 You didn't know that me and my G would bring him back from the dead! 16 00:00:46,720 --> 00:00:48,880 Kevin? Spud me, fam! 17 00:00:50,800 --> 00:00:52,640 Ohh! 18 00:00:52,680 --> 00:00:54,400 Shit! 19 00:00:56,160 --> 00:00:58,440 You all right, blud? 20 00:00:58,480 --> 00:01:18,520 ♪Final Form 21 00:01:18,560 --> 00:01:19,880 Jo! Jo! 22 00:01:19,920 --> 00:01:22,920 I need to talk to you. Look, yeah? 23 00:01:22,960 --> 00:01:24,800 So, I've been thinking. 24 00:01:24,840 --> 00:01:28,240 Seeing as Kevin has gone on a sabbatical and what-not, 25 00:01:28,280 --> 00:01:31,800 I just don't feel that anyone can replace what we had. 26 00:01:31,840 --> 00:01:35,640 So, I think I'm gonna work alone from now. 27 00:01:37,120 --> 00:01:40,960 -Yeah? -Maleek, I understand you're hurt that Kevin left, 28 00:01:41,000 --> 00:01:42,640 after you hospitalised him. 29 00:01:42,680 --> 00:01:45,680 No. He didn't leave cos of that. He gave me bare other reasons. 30 00:01:45,720 --> 00:01:48,200 Yeah, your personality, your attitude? No? 31 00:01:48,240 --> 00:01:51,240 No, it wasn't none of that. He's having a mid-life crisis. 32 00:01:51,280 --> 00:01:53,480 He's gone to Thailand to find himself 33 00:01:53,520 --> 00:01:55,320 until he can come back -to the warzone. -OK. 34 00:01:55,360 --> 00:02:03,040 OK. So you plan to work in an ambulance...on your own? 35 00:02:03,080 --> 00:02:05,400 -Yeah. -How are you going to carry a stretcher? 36 00:02:05,440 --> 00:02:08,040 Oh, babes, the guns. Ah. 37 00:02:08,080 --> 00:02:11,200 Right. When you're in the back with a patient... 38 00:02:11,240 --> 00:02:13,200 All right, I'm in the back. Yeah, yeah. 39 00:02:13,240 --> 00:02:15,800 Don't close your eyes. ..who's driving, Maleek? 40 00:02:15,840 --> 00:02:17,920 Oh, OK. Yeah? 41 00:02:17,960 --> 00:02:20,160 Yeah, that's... All right, watch your foot. 42 00:02:20,200 --> 00:02:22,600 Imagine... 43 00:02:22,640 --> 00:02:24,840 Are you still there with me, mate? 44 00:02:24,880 --> 00:02:27,760 Er... All right, yeah. 45 00:02:27,800 --> 00:02:30,320 He got it. Let me make this easy for you, Maleek. 46 00:02:30,360 --> 00:02:33,160 I have found you a new partner. 47 00:02:33,200 --> 00:02:36,640 -Ugh. -She's just moved to the area, so be nice to her. 48 00:02:36,680 --> 00:02:38,800 Of course. I got you. 49 00:02:38,840 --> 00:02:40,840 You want me to put this youth to the test, 50 00:02:40,880 --> 00:02:42,720 see if they're with the gang. 51 00:02:42,760 --> 00:02:45,280 See if they're ride or die, I get it. Who else? Who else? 52 00:02:45,320 --> 00:02:47,560 Let's just start with not frying her. Eh? 53 00:02:48,720 --> 00:02:50,720 Baby steps. 54 00:02:54,440 --> 00:02:57,600 451, Papa, Kilo. 55 00:02:57,640 --> 00:03:00,000 Papa, Kilo. Papa, Kilo. 451. 56 00:03:00,040 --> 00:03:03,480 -'Ey up! -Fucking hell! What you doing, creeping up on me? 57 00:03:03,520 --> 00:03:06,400 Oh, sorry. What you doing? 58 00:03:06,440 --> 00:03:10,640 Who are you? I'm Wendy. Your new partner. 59 00:03:10,680 --> 00:03:12,280 You must be Maleek. 60 00:03:12,320 --> 00:03:15,800 Look, no, first of all, my is Maleek! 61 00:03:15,840 --> 00:03:19,400 Sorry, did I pronounce it wrong? Yes. You gotta say it with bass. 62 00:03:19,440 --> 00:03:22,080 Maleek. Wha... 63 00:03:22,960 --> 00:03:26,040 Put some respect in my name, especially if you're my new apprentice. 64 00:03:26,080 --> 00:03:29,280 Well, I'm your new partner. Hah! I'll be the judge of that. 65 00:03:29,320 --> 00:03:31,960 Years I rode with Kevin, -he never ambushed me. -Kevin? 66 00:03:32,000 --> 00:03:33,800 Was that the poor lad you electrocuted? 67 00:03:33,840 --> 00:03:36,400 I defibbed him! It's different! 68 00:03:36,440 --> 00:03:40,240 Where you from, anyway? Emmerdale? Close. Nottingham. 69 00:03:40,280 --> 00:03:42,920 Nottima... What? Nottimam. 70 00:03:42,960 --> 00:03:45,520 Nottinham. Nott... 71 00:03:45,560 --> 00:03:49,360 Ah! I see why Jo put you under my watch. 72 00:03:49,400 --> 00:03:52,120 Listen, you are a long way from Brookside now, you know. 73 00:03:52,160 --> 00:03:54,560 Close your eyes and hold out your hands. 74 00:03:54,600 --> 00:03:56,320 No. Why the hell would I do that? 75 00:03:57,440 --> 00:03:59,880 I've baked you a cake, partner. 76 00:03:59,920 --> 00:04:02,040 Sorry it's a bit rubbery. 77 00:04:02,080 --> 00:04:04,360 I've just moved into my new flat and there's no oven, 78 00:04:04,400 --> 00:04:06,640 so I had to improvise with the microwave. 79 00:04:06,680 --> 00:04:09,320 Do you think that this is some bait coffee kind of morning? 80 00:04:09,360 --> 00:04:12,080 You need to be more like Kevin. 81 00:04:12,120 --> 00:04:14,160 He didn't come in here on his first day begging it 82 00:04:14,200 --> 00:04:15,960 with some dead-out Mary Berry ting. 83 00:04:16,000 --> 00:04:18,600 All right, I'll just chuck it away. Whoa, whoa, whoa. 84 00:04:18,640 --> 00:04:21,640 Chill. I didn't say that, did I? I didn't say that. 85 00:04:21,680 --> 00:04:23,360 Put the cake over there. Put it there. 86 00:04:24,920 --> 00:04:27,840 'Emergency ambulance. Is the patient breathing? 87 00:04:27,880 --> 00:04:30,640 He's struggling to breathe. I don't know how much he - 88 00:04:30,680 --> 00:04:34,400 451, Papa Kilo. Proceed to Byron Estate. 89 00:04:34,440 --> 00:04:38,240 Known drug addict with arm injury. Sounds rank.' 90 00:04:38,280 --> 00:04:41,400 FUCK...ing hell! 91 00:04:41,440 --> 00:04:43,040 Look at the state of you. 92 00:04:43,080 --> 00:04:45,840 What did you want to take all that crack for, you silly Billy? 93 00:04:45,880 --> 00:04:49,480 Cos he's a crackhead. He might have other interests. 94 00:04:49,520 --> 00:04:53,040 What are you into, ducks? Well, yeah, just mostly crack. 95 00:04:53,080 --> 00:04:55,720 I've never done it myself. Probably for the best, really. 96 00:04:55,760 --> 00:04:58,520 I get easily addicted to things. 97 00:04:58,560 --> 00:05:02,360 Right now, I'm into upcycling. Have you ever tried it? 98 00:05:02,400 --> 00:05:04,000 No. 99 00:05:04,040 --> 00:05:07,560 I mean - Ow! I guess I did turn that Coke can into a crack pipe? 100 00:05:07,600 --> 00:05:10,400 Yeah, that's the basic idea. 101 00:05:10,440 --> 00:05:12,680 Keeps till, I'm gluing it. I can play the harmonica. 102 00:05:12,720 --> 00:05:16,360 A musician! See? Everyone's got a talent. 103 00:05:16,400 --> 00:05:19,800 Some of the best records were made by druggies, weren't they? 104 00:05:19,840 --> 00:05:22,400 Yeah, but then I had to sell it. Oh, no, what for? 105 00:05:22,440 --> 00:05:26,440 -Crack! -Well, it's never too late to start again. 106 00:05:26,480 --> 00:05:31,000 You can get a harmonica from a charity shop for, like, about £10. 107 00:05:31,040 --> 00:05:32,640 I'd give it a wash first, though. 108 00:05:32,680 --> 00:05:34,440 I've blown worse. 109 00:05:34,480 --> 00:05:36,360 Ha ha! Argh! Argh! Aargh! What? 110 00:05:36,400 --> 00:05:40,000 Ow! Ow! Sake! This is your fault, man. 111 00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:42,680 Running out your mouth, trying to start a jazz band in a crack den! 112 00:05:46,880 --> 00:05:48,560 All right, Lawrence? You wanger! 113 00:05:48,600 --> 00:05:52,160 -Hey, Jill. -Done something different with your barnet? Looks decent. 114 00:05:52,200 --> 00:05:55,120 Ah. Er, yeah, it's erm... Something I call helmet hair. 115 00:05:55,160 --> 00:05:56,520 Ohh! Thank you very much. 116 00:05:56,560 --> 00:05:59,600 It's all right. Chill out. 117 00:06:01,600 --> 00:06:03,560 Good weekend? What did you get up to? 118 00:06:03,600 --> 00:06:05,240 I just went to the pub. 119 00:06:05,280 --> 00:06:06,920 Wahey! That's right. 120 00:06:06,960 --> 00:06:09,960 Lads, lads, lads! -Ooh, shots! -Nice. 121 00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:11,800 Yeah. Actually... Actually on my own. 122 00:06:11,840 --> 00:06:14,240 I had a pint on my own. On your own? 123 00:06:14,280 --> 00:06:16,360 Mm. Mate! 124 00:06:16,400 --> 00:06:19,880 Next time give me a shout. I'll show you how to down a pint. 125 00:06:19,920 --> 00:06:21,280 Yeah. 126 00:06:21,320 --> 00:06:23,440 You'd drink me under the table. Yeah, lightweight! 127 00:06:23,480 --> 00:06:26,280 Yeah. Or just do beer and a burger, cinema, whatever... 128 00:06:26,320 --> 00:06:29,120 Anyway, you're the one, drinking on your own. Alky! 129 00:06:29,160 --> 00:06:31,320 Ha. Yeah. It was Karen's birthday. 130 00:06:31,360 --> 00:06:33,200 Would have been. 131 00:06:34,160 --> 00:06:37,680 I just wanted to be alone with my thoughts and... 132 00:06:37,720 --> 00:06:40,200 Nice. Yeah. 133 00:06:40,240 --> 00:06:42,840 Well, yeah, not nice, but er... 134 00:06:42,880 --> 00:06:46,320 Quite nice. 135 00:06:50,800 --> 00:06:54,160 Well, nice to meet you... John. 136 00:06:54,200 --> 00:06:55,880 John? 137 00:06:55,920 --> 00:06:58,360 Here you go. For the harmonica. 138 00:06:59,200 --> 00:07:01,600 Oh. Thanks very much, Wendy. 139 00:07:01,640 --> 00:07:03,120 Cheers. Are you mad? 140 00:07:03,160 --> 00:07:06,400 -What? -Did I just hallucinate? Did you give him money? 141 00:07:06,440 --> 00:07:09,200 -Yeah? -What do you think he is going to do with it? 142 00:07:09,240 --> 00:07:11,240 He's gonna get a harmonica. 143 00:07:11,280 --> 00:07:12,640 I trust him. 144 00:07:12,680 --> 00:07:15,400 Maybe up north, it's cool to do all that, 145 00:07:15,440 --> 00:07:17,800 be all Mary Poppins with the pagans. 146 00:07:17,840 --> 00:07:21,160 But this is big LDN. You need to have your guard up! 147 00:07:21,200 --> 00:07:23,880 People round here are dangerous, man. 148 00:07:23,920 --> 00:07:26,200 Yo, Maleekster! 149 00:07:26,240 --> 00:07:27,800 Er... 150 00:07:27,840 --> 00:07:30,480 Hey, fella. Good to see you. You must be his new partner. 151 00:07:30,520 --> 00:07:32,400 I'm Wendy. Darryl. 152 00:07:32,440 --> 00:07:34,120 Darrell. 153 00:07:34,160 --> 00:07:35,800 Doesn't that ever get confusing? 154 00:07:35,840 --> 00:07:38,320 Oh, my God. Er, people do get us mixed up. 155 00:07:38,360 --> 00:07:40,320 Cos they're so similar. 156 00:07:40,360 --> 00:07:45,000 Best way to remember, I'm the one -with the beard. -And I wear a hat. 157 00:07:46,200 --> 00:07:47,760 I'm just not wearing it now. 158 00:07:47,800 --> 00:07:52,720 Right. Well, I'm having some drinks when we knock off if you're around. 159 00:07:52,760 --> 00:07:55,000 -Yeah, sounds great. -I'll stick you on the WhatsApp group. 160 00:07:55,040 --> 00:07:57,120 Maleek, you never said there was a WhatsApp group. 161 00:07:57,160 --> 00:08:00,640 Look, if there was a WhatsApp group with all the paramedics on it, 162 00:08:00,680 --> 00:08:02,840 I'd know about it. I'd probably be admin. 163 00:08:02,880 --> 00:08:05,400 Now, can we go? Aw, bye, guys. 164 00:08:05,440 --> 00:08:07,560 Bye, Maleek! Fuck your mum! 165 00:08:07,600 --> 00:08:10,360 He's always in a rush. He's such a busy guy. 166 00:08:10,400 --> 00:08:13,120 '451, Papa, Kilo. We have a Cat 1 on the Tremdor Estate. 167 00:08:13,160 --> 00:08:15,120 '40s male. Head Injury.' 168 00:08:15,160 --> 00:08:18,040 Yes. Tremdor! That's what I'm talking about. 169 00:08:18,080 --> 00:08:21,120 Finally show you, rookie, what the battlefield looks like. 170 00:08:21,160 --> 00:08:23,640 Let's go! Yeah, boi! 171 00:08:24,440 --> 00:08:27,360 Blud! What you doing? When did this nonsense start? 172 00:08:27,400 --> 00:08:30,320 Oh, sorry. I'm just so excited. 173 00:08:30,360 --> 00:08:34,120 You don't jump on Black people's backs. Get in the car, man. 174 00:08:34,160 --> 00:08:37,200 Sorry. It was just a bit of fun. What the hell. 175 00:08:37,240 --> 00:08:40,000 Is this what they do in Dorset? Nottingham, actually. 176 00:08:40,040 --> 00:08:42,960 You just jump on people's backs, willy-willy...willy-nilly? 177 00:08:50,120 --> 00:08:51,760 I think a better use of me 178 00:08:51,800 --> 00:08:55,520 is helping people with a good 30 to 40 years left. 179 00:08:55,560 --> 00:08:57,840 But some of these older guys, 180 00:08:57,880 --> 00:09:00,440 it actually feels cruel to keep topping them up. 181 00:09:02,040 --> 00:09:06,720 OK, Kareshma, so you want to move on from OAP transport? 182 00:09:06,760 --> 00:09:09,440 Er...where do you see yourself in six months? 183 00:09:09,480 --> 00:09:11,480 In your seat. 184 00:09:11,520 --> 00:09:14,960 Well, that's mental. You realise I'm planning to still be doing this then? 185 00:09:16,120 --> 00:09:18,640 You seem stressed, Jo? What? 186 00:09:18,680 --> 00:09:20,360 Is the pressure getting to you? 187 00:09:20,400 --> 00:09:22,680 Kareshma, you are very keen, which is normally good. 188 00:09:22,720 --> 00:09:25,200 But I don't like you, and I've no paramedic slots. 189 00:09:25,240 --> 00:09:27,720 So, till someone leaves, you're on the bunion bus. 190 00:09:32,920 --> 00:09:35,840 Can you put that on silent? It's proper jarring. 191 00:09:35,880 --> 00:09:38,800 It's the WhatsApp group. They weren't making it up. 192 00:09:38,840 --> 00:09:43,160 Obviously, yeah. I just choose not to get involved in those things. 193 00:09:43,200 --> 00:09:46,320 I like to keep a distance between my work and social life. 194 00:09:46,360 --> 00:09:48,640 So, you're not going to the paramedics brunch on Sunday? 195 00:09:48,680 --> 00:09:52,200 The what? Oh, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah. 196 00:09:52,240 --> 00:09:54,920 Not my style. Sounds bare Caucasian. 197 00:09:54,960 --> 00:09:57,000 It's on the Paramedics Of Colour group. 198 00:09:57,040 --> 00:09:59,320 How are you even on that? 199 00:09:59,360 --> 00:10:01,480 Paramedics Of Colour. POC. 200 00:10:04,160 --> 00:10:07,560 You know what? To be honest, I'm so happy I get to do this with you. 201 00:10:07,600 --> 00:10:09,520 I don't actually tell you enough. 202 00:10:09,560 --> 00:10:13,320 I mean, I feel like you tell me heaps. 203 00:10:13,360 --> 00:10:15,160 But I still want to hear it more. 204 00:10:15,200 --> 00:10:17,360 What's funny, when you get out of the car, yeah? 205 00:10:17,400 --> 00:10:19,120 I like to try and open it in unison. 206 00:10:19,160 --> 00:10:20,720 Yeah. Have you been doing that? 207 00:10:20,760 --> 00:10:23,880 Sometimes I try and blink at the -same time as you. -Go on, then. 208 00:10:27,760 --> 00:10:30,480 Although I hate blinking cos it means I can't see you. 209 00:10:30,520 --> 00:10:33,960 -Yeah. -Even for a tiny, split millisecond. 210 00:10:44,200 --> 00:10:46,400 Right, I'm going in. You stay in the car. 211 00:10:46,440 --> 00:10:49,000 What? I have to come with you. 212 00:10:49,040 --> 00:10:51,440 You just gave a crackhead £10. God knows what you'll do here! 213 00:10:51,480 --> 00:10:54,680 This is next level. Warzone. Stay in the whip. 214 00:10:54,720 --> 00:10:56,480 What... 215 00:10:56,520 --> 00:10:58,840 'The patient is coughing blood.'On scene now. 216 00:10:58,880 --> 00:11:03,440 'Patient is on the 16th floor. The lifts are out of order. Bad luck.' 217 00:11:03,480 --> 00:11:05,480 You're joking. 218 00:11:06,680 --> 00:11:08,760 What would Kevin do? 219 00:11:15,360 --> 00:11:17,320 Ugh! Ahh! 220 00:11:19,680 --> 00:11:22,880 Wendy to Maleek. Do you want back-up? 221 00:11:22,920 --> 00:11:25,360 No! Stay where you are. Over 222 00:11:27,240 --> 00:11:29,400 John! 223 00:11:29,440 --> 00:11:31,680 Hello, love. 224 00:11:31,720 --> 00:11:33,920 All right? You got one. 225 00:11:33,960 --> 00:11:36,880 Yeah. It was £8.50 from Oxfam. I've got your change. 226 00:11:36,920 --> 00:11:39,400 Aw! I knew you were a good egg. 227 00:11:39,440 --> 00:11:41,960 Here. Well, go on, then, give us a tune. 228 00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:44,880 Nah, nah. All right. Er... 229 00:12:00,240 --> 00:12:02,640 All right! All right! 230 00:12:02,680 --> 00:12:04,960 Save some for Britain's Got Talent. All right. 231 00:12:09,240 --> 00:12:12,480 '451, Papa, Kilo. Patient has stopped breathing. Over.' 232 00:12:12,520 --> 00:12:15,480 Yeah! Me too! 233 00:12:15,520 --> 00:12:19,120 'Patient has turned blue.' I'm on my way! I'm on my way! 234 00:12:19,160 --> 00:12:20,840 Oh, my God. You need to get here now. 235 00:12:20,880 --> 00:12:22,800 His eyes have gone into the back of his brain. 236 00:12:22,840 --> 00:12:24,680 'Caller reports eyes have rolled back.' 237 00:12:24,720 --> 00:12:26,800 I'm coming! Don't die! 238 00:12:26,840 --> 00:12:30,200 Don't die! Don't die! 239 00:12:30,240 --> 00:12:32,720 Has he got there? Look at him, running up the stairs! 240 00:12:32,760 --> 00:12:35,000 Oi! 241 00:12:35,040 --> 00:12:36,720 Wendy to Maleek. 242 00:12:38,440 --> 00:12:42,000 'Yeah, it's a hoax. I've got the naughty nuggets down here.' 243 00:12:42,040 --> 00:12:44,000 Argh! 244 00:12:44,040 --> 00:12:45,600 Urgh! 245 00:12:45,640 --> 00:12:48,680 You know that's a crime? Someone could have died. 246 00:12:48,720 --> 00:12:51,760 The only person that could have died is Fatty-Bum-Bum over there. 247 00:12:51,800 --> 00:12:53,240 Yeah? 248 00:12:53,280 --> 00:12:57,280 Fat-Bum-Bum? Fatty-Bum-Bum, yeah? You lot need to make sure - 249 00:12:57,320 --> 00:12:59,760 Bruv! Breathing up in my face like that. 250 00:12:59,800 --> 00:13:01,720 You proper have a dry mouth. 251 00:13:01,760 --> 00:13:04,840 I've got a dry mouth cos I was upstairs lipsing your Mum's tongue. 252 00:13:04,880 --> 00:13:07,360 Doubt it. His mum don't like butter's broke. 253 00:13:07,400 --> 00:13:09,880 -Fat guys with diabetes. -You need to start showing us respect. 254 00:13:09,920 --> 00:13:12,640 I know you was out there, clapping for us, all them Thursdays. 255 00:13:12,680 --> 00:13:14,400 Na, nah, nah. That weren't clapping, G. 256 00:13:14,440 --> 00:13:17,920 That was my balls banging your mum, bruvver. 257 00:13:17,960 --> 00:13:20,280 They're ever so cheeky, aren't they? 258 00:13:20,320 --> 00:13:22,320 I'm gonna fuck them up. Is this your new partner? 259 00:13:22,360 --> 00:13:24,400 Yeah. Has he electrocuted you yet? 260 00:13:24,440 --> 00:13:25,880 I defibbed Kevin. 261 00:13:25,920 --> 00:13:28,720 I defibbed Kevin! Why is everyone making up rumours? 262 00:13:28,760 --> 00:13:31,480 This is bait, man. Let's get out of here, man. 263 00:13:31,520 --> 00:13:33,200 The only thing bait... 264 00:13:33,240 --> 00:13:36,120 The only thing bait is how your mum claims disability 265 00:13:36,160 --> 00:13:37,680 and she's dumping on the next willy! 266 00:13:37,720 --> 00:13:40,040 Running to the next... That was a good one. 267 00:13:40,120 --> 00:13:41,800 It was shit, man. Let's go. 268 00:13:51,920 --> 00:13:54,800 Shift up, ballbag! Oh, hi. 269 00:13:54,840 --> 00:13:56,480 All right, Jo? 270 00:13:56,520 --> 00:13:58,520 What flavour's your soup? Cream of knobhead? 271 00:13:59,720 --> 00:14:03,000 Erm, leek and wank stain. Oh. 272 00:14:03,040 --> 00:14:06,720 Look at you with -your dickhead noodle soup. -Ha ha! 273 00:14:06,760 --> 00:14:08,840 Ox... 274 00:14:08,880 --> 00:14:11,000 Er...can't think of one. 275 00:14:11,040 --> 00:14:13,320 Go on. -I can't. -Go on. 276 00:14:13,360 --> 00:14:16,080 --No? -No. -No? Cock-a-leekie. 277 00:14:16,120 --> 00:14:17,680 That is a soup. Yeah, it is. 278 00:14:19,040 --> 00:14:21,880 I see the WhatsApp group's been pinging all day. 279 00:14:21,920 --> 00:14:23,520 Yeah. 280 00:14:23,560 --> 00:14:26,400 Another welcome drinks? Yeah. Yawn! 281 00:14:26,440 --> 00:14:29,440 I guess you can't go either. Thursday drum lesson. 282 00:14:29,480 --> 00:14:31,760 How did you know I play the drums? 283 00:14:31,800 --> 00:14:34,880 You told me, or something. I dunno. Oh. 284 00:14:34,920 --> 00:14:38,040 Well, it's been cancelled anyway, so I'll probably pop along. 285 00:14:38,080 --> 00:14:40,760 Beats being on your own. Yeah, me too. 286 00:14:40,800 --> 00:14:42,440 I thought you weren't going. 287 00:14:43,800 --> 00:14:47,040 Are you following me, or... Er, I just said I was going. 288 00:14:47,080 --> 00:14:48,960 Are you deaf as well as thick? You knob? 289 00:14:49,000 --> 00:14:52,120 Sorry. Are you all right? Are you all right? 290 00:14:59,200 --> 00:15:01,920 Oh, you'll never guess who I saw just now with a harmonica? 291 00:15:01,960 --> 00:15:05,360 The crackhead? You're gassing. I'm not. He even brought my change. 292 00:15:05,400 --> 00:15:08,400 £1.50. I told you he could be trusted. 293 00:15:08,440 --> 00:15:10,000 Have you still got that £1.50? 294 00:15:10,040 --> 00:15:11,960 We're gonna need it. 295 00:15:14,040 --> 00:15:16,440 Oh, John. 296 00:15:16,480 --> 00:15:20,040 Oi! Where's all our gear, -you little prick? -It's gone. Gone! 297 00:15:20,080 --> 00:15:23,480 You know what, Crackhead John? I'm not angry, just disappointed. 298 00:15:23,520 --> 00:15:25,800 Listen, if you don't get back our gear, 299 00:15:25,840 --> 00:15:28,320 you're going to be going somewhere where there's no crack. 300 00:15:28,360 --> 00:15:30,480 The morgue. What? 301 00:15:30,520 --> 00:15:34,120 We're not killing him! What's wrong with you? I meant prison. 302 00:15:34,160 --> 00:15:36,960 There's loads of crack in prison. Just get us our gear! 303 00:15:37,000 --> 00:15:40,120 All right, I'm sorry. I messed up. I'll get your things back. 304 00:15:40,160 --> 00:15:42,640 Just give me a tenner for a cab and I'll go there now. 305 00:15:42,680 --> 00:15:44,720 Sorry, I've got nothing smaller than a 20. 306 00:15:44,760 --> 00:15:47,280 Are you doing a kick-starter for crackheads? Move. 307 00:15:47,320 --> 00:15:50,920 'All units. Major RTC. Multiple casualties. 308 00:15:50,960 --> 00:15:53,480 Instructions on arrival.' Fuck! 309 00:15:53,520 --> 00:15:57,480 451, Papa, Kilo. 310 00:15:57,520 --> 00:16:00,680 Did you mean, all...all units? 311 00:16:00,720 --> 00:16:04,240 Like... Like, I've got... I've got this. 312 00:16:04,280 --> 00:16:06,320 Is that it? 313 00:16:06,360 --> 00:16:09,120 Well, I could give you some crack. 314 00:16:14,440 --> 00:16:17,400 Two years. Two years, riding with Kevin, and nothing like this. 315 00:16:17,440 --> 00:16:20,920 One day with Geordie Shore and I've had the worst shift of my life. 316 00:16:20,960 --> 00:16:22,920 I'm not taking all the blame for this. 317 00:16:22,960 --> 00:16:24,800 We should have just owned up. 318 00:16:24,840 --> 00:16:28,960 -Mistakes happen. -My team don't make miskakes! Mikstakes... Mis... 319 00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:30,680 Bruv, just shut up, man! 320 00:16:38,640 --> 00:16:40,840 Ready? Now. 321 00:16:42,360 --> 00:16:45,000 Gary, Jez, over by the Range! 322 00:16:45,040 --> 00:16:47,400 Lawrence the Frontera! 323 00:16:47,440 --> 00:16:49,680 Maleek and Wen - They're not here yet. 324 00:16:50,520 --> 00:16:51,800 Kareshma, why are you here? 325 00:16:51,840 --> 00:16:54,480 I heard the call. I thought you might need an extra hand. 326 00:16:55,480 --> 00:16:58,240 There's a pensioner in your van, Kareshma. 327 00:16:58,280 --> 00:17:00,120 Take him where he's supposed to go. 328 00:17:00,160 --> 00:17:03,480 OK. But you're freaking out a bit. GO! 329 00:17:03,520 --> 00:17:06,680 Darryl! A couple of casualties under the bridge! 330 00:17:06,720 --> 00:17:08,960 Darryl's on the case, Jo! 331 00:17:11,120 --> 00:17:13,840 What are we going to do now? We've got nothing to treat people. 332 00:17:13,880 --> 00:17:17,400 We? We ain't doing nothing. We are done. 333 00:17:17,440 --> 00:17:19,400 You go your way, I'll go mine. 334 00:17:19,440 --> 00:17:21,320 Fine! 335 00:17:22,760 --> 00:17:24,840 Fuck, man. 336 00:17:27,920 --> 00:17:29,600 All right, mingebag? 337 00:17:29,640 --> 00:17:31,400 I just lost him. 338 00:17:31,440 --> 00:17:34,480 -Oh. -I didn't see it coming. I thought he was in the clear. 339 00:17:34,520 --> 00:17:36,320 Ugh! Poor bugger. 340 00:17:37,800 --> 00:17:39,680 Have you got lipstick on? 341 00:17:40,800 --> 00:17:42,560 As if. 342 00:17:42,600 --> 00:17:44,560 Poor bloke. Can't have been out of his 20s. 343 00:17:45,560 --> 00:17:47,640 I lost Karen in her 20s. 344 00:17:48,840 --> 00:17:50,320 It's not a life lived. 345 00:17:50,360 --> 00:17:52,200 That is shit, Loz. 346 00:17:52,240 --> 00:17:53,960 That is shit. 347 00:17:55,040 --> 00:17:57,040 Yeah. 348 00:18:02,160 --> 00:18:04,440 Still going to the drinks later, Loz, or... 349 00:18:07,560 --> 00:18:11,160 Yeah, fair play, Loz. Not sure I'm up for it now either myself. 350 00:18:11,200 --> 00:18:12,960 Er... 351 00:18:13,000 --> 00:18:14,920 look after your mental health. 352 00:18:26,880 --> 00:18:29,600 Someone must have whiplash, blud. 353 00:18:29,640 --> 00:18:32,720 Oh, shit! 354 00:18:32,760 --> 00:18:34,920 Yo! I need a resus ASAP! 355 00:18:36,720 --> 00:18:39,160 Kevin! Is that you? Hey. 356 00:18:39,200 --> 00:18:41,520 What do you mean, "Hey"? Wagwan? 357 00:18:41,560 --> 00:18:44,840 Why didn't you holler at me, bruv? I thought you were in Thailand. 358 00:18:44,880 --> 00:18:46,320 That didn't work out. 359 00:18:46,360 --> 00:18:49,640 You forgot your passport on the way to the airport again, you dickhead. 360 00:18:49,680 --> 00:18:52,120 Can we talk about this another time? Another time? 361 00:18:52,160 --> 00:18:54,920 Big man, look, now that you're back, we can reunite. 362 00:18:54,960 --> 00:18:58,800 They've got me with some mad woman from Northwich, bruv. Come on. 363 00:18:58,840 --> 00:19:02,200 -Get the gang back together. -I'm in the middle of something here. 364 00:19:02,240 --> 00:19:04,400 Why are you showing off, man? It's me. 365 00:19:04,440 --> 00:19:07,080 Don't leave me hanging, blud. It's me! 366 00:19:07,120 --> 00:19:08,560 Look, just fuck off! 367 00:19:08,600 --> 00:19:10,600 What the hell? 368 00:19:10,640 --> 00:19:12,680 Ready for fluids? Yeah. Ready. 369 00:19:12,720 --> 00:19:15,920 Sorry. Sorry. I didn't mean that. 370 00:19:17,960 --> 00:19:19,680 Look, Maleek, there was no Thailand. 371 00:19:19,720 --> 00:19:22,920 OK? I just needed to get away from this. 372 00:19:22,960 --> 00:19:25,320 You know, having a heart-to-heart in the middle of a pile-up. 373 00:19:25,360 --> 00:19:27,080 I needed a break from you. 374 00:19:27,120 --> 00:19:29,960 Who's Hugh? No, you! Bloody hell! 375 00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:32,320 You're the worst partner I've ever had. 376 00:19:32,360 --> 00:19:34,760 You nearly killed me. 377 00:19:36,400 --> 00:19:38,960 I need another bag. Right, I'm on it. 378 00:19:41,680 --> 00:19:43,440 Yeah, go and get your bag. 379 00:19:43,480 --> 00:19:45,400 Dickhead. You've got shit trousers. 380 00:19:46,400 --> 00:19:49,280 That guy's a clown. He doesn't deserve you. 381 00:19:49,320 --> 00:19:52,040 If you need a shoulder to cry on, we've got four. 382 00:19:52,080 --> 00:19:54,800 Man! What you talking about? I'm not crying. 383 00:19:54,840 --> 00:19:58,360 Daryl, Darrell, need you by the Smart car. What are you crying for? 384 00:19:58,400 --> 00:20:00,800 I'm not... Oh, my God, I'm not crying. It's just... 385 00:20:00,840 --> 00:20:03,760 Look, it's a condition. It's called "ibalodenum". 386 00:20:04,600 --> 00:20:06,840 Are you wearing lipstick? No! Where is Wendy? 387 00:20:06,880 --> 00:20:09,000 I told you to look after her. 388 00:20:10,040 --> 00:20:12,160 Where's your gear? 389 00:20:13,280 --> 00:20:15,760 Well, the thing is, the gear... 390 00:20:15,800 --> 00:20:18,160 The gear was in the... Whoo! 391 00:20:18,200 --> 00:20:19,840 Where's Wendy again? 392 00:20:19,880 --> 00:20:22,560 Oh, it's hot in that car, in that... 393 00:20:22,600 --> 00:20:25,120 in a de car crash. In a de... 394 00:20:25,160 --> 00:20:27,120 The gear... Maleek? 395 00:20:27,160 --> 00:20:29,040 The gear is... 396 00:20:29,080 --> 00:20:32,400 Right here, boss! Sorry to keep you waiting, Maleek. 397 00:20:32,440 --> 00:20:35,800 Still finding my way around. Yeah, see? It's here. 398 00:20:35,840 --> 00:20:37,960 The gear is fine. The gear is fine. Can we... 399 00:20:38,000 --> 00:20:41,000 Can we... There's a whole emergency. Can you stop wasting my time? 400 00:20:41,040 --> 00:20:42,840 Jesus. 401 00:20:58,840 --> 00:21:00,920 Where did you get all this stuff? 402 00:21:02,080 --> 00:21:04,280 Did you see anyone hanging around near our van? 403 00:21:04,320 --> 00:21:06,160 I've been completely cleared out. 404 00:21:06,200 --> 00:21:09,560 Oh, no, sorry. You get a lot of crackheads round here. 405 00:21:11,320 --> 00:21:13,280 Unlucky, bruv. 406 00:21:18,120 --> 00:21:20,360 Nice one, Wendy. 407 00:21:20,400 --> 00:21:23,360 With some bass, please. 408 00:21:24,720 --> 00:21:26,520 Nothing to see here. 409 00:21:26,560 --> 00:21:28,000 Hoo-hoo! 410 00:21:29,280 --> 00:21:30,800 Go! Go! Go! 411 00:21:30,840 --> 00:21:32,600 I'm not looking for my next husband. 412 00:21:32,640 --> 00:21:35,440 Just someone to fulfil my sexual needs. 413 00:21:35,480 --> 00:21:38,240 You think I fancy Lawrence? Eurgh. 414 00:21:38,280 --> 00:21:40,160 Ow! I could find you a partner. 415 00:21:40,200 --> 00:21:41,560 Um... I could. 416 00:21:41,600 --> 00:21:43,000 You could... I could. 417 00:21:43,040 --> 00:21:45,160 You could... Yeah, I could be your partner. 418 00:21:45,200 --> 00:21:47,440 I'm trying to dance and I don't know 419 00:21:47,480 --> 00:21:49,120 if you want to dance with me anymore. 420 00:21:50,960 --> 00:21:52,480 Jesus! 421 00:21:52,520 --> 00:21:56,240 Are you even from Emmerdale? You'll end up doing something stupid like I did. 422 00:21:56,280 --> 00:21:58,000 What did you do? 423 00:21:59,000 --> 00:22:01,240 ♪On And On 424 00:22:01,280 --> 00:22:03,400 AccessibleCustomerService@sky.uk 31167

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