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.
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00:00:04,395 --> 00:00:06,484
- "Will & Grace" is recorded
3
00:00:06,528 --> 00:00:08,530
in front of a live
studio audience.
4
00:00:08,573 --> 00:00:11,315
- Oh, thank God!
I'm starving.
5
00:00:11,359 --> 00:00:12,969
I thought you
6
00:00:13,013 --> 00:00:14,623
and the Curmudgeon
were out to dinner.
7
00:00:14,666 --> 00:00:16,451
- I thought we were going
to finally have sex,
8
00:00:16,494 --> 00:00:20,368
so I didn't want to come at him
all bloated and gross.
9
00:00:20,411 --> 00:00:23,501
- Of course not.
Save it for me.
10
00:00:23,545 --> 00:00:26,156
I can't believe you guys
still haven't had sex.
11
00:00:26,200 --> 00:00:27,766
It's been weeks.
Aren't you worried
12
00:00:27,810 --> 00:00:29,159
the window's going to close?
13
00:00:29,203 --> 00:00:31,640
- Of course I am.
I like him so much.
14
00:00:31,683 --> 00:00:33,163
But you know
I only sleep with guys
15
00:00:33,207 --> 00:00:35,035
right away who I don't like.
16
00:00:35,078 --> 00:00:37,385
- That'll show them.
17
00:00:40,431 --> 00:00:42,738
Oh, look,
it's a double feature.
18
00:00:42,781 --> 00:00:45,045
"Rio Homo" and "High by Noon."
19
00:00:48,091 --> 00:00:49,527
- Hey, we're going to Texas!
20
00:00:49,571 --> 00:00:52,182
Karen's flying us down
to see my grandson Skip.
21
00:00:52,226 --> 00:00:53,923
He's singing
in a church concert tomorrow,
22
00:00:53,966 --> 00:00:56,186
and Elliot's out of town,
so I'm going to go support him.
23
00:00:56,230 --> 00:00:57,927
- And I was already
flying down there
24
00:00:57,970 --> 00:01:00,756
to see the section of the wall
that I sponsored.
25
00:01:03,237 --> 00:01:05,152
- That border wall
is un-American.
26
00:01:05,195 --> 00:01:10,070
- Only on one side.
Our side is un-Mexican.
27
00:01:13,551 --> 00:01:16,859
- Oh, Will, come with me.
Skip would love to see you,
28
00:01:16,902 --> 00:01:18,382
and Texas would be so fun.
29
00:01:18,426 --> 00:01:21,733
All the colorful sheriffs
and the busty madams.
30
00:01:21,777 --> 00:01:24,301
- That's "The Best
Little Whorehouse in Texas."
31
00:01:24,345 --> 00:01:26,999
- Well, we'll find out,
won't we?
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00:01:27,043 --> 00:01:29,393
- You should go, Will.
You know, to be there for Skip,
33
00:01:29,437 --> 00:01:31,178
and to do something nice
for your friend.
34
00:01:31,221 --> 00:01:32,396
- You just want
the apartment to yourself
35
00:01:32,440 --> 00:01:33,919
so you can finally
sleep with Noah.
36
00:01:33,963 --> 00:01:37,706
- Yeah, I'm the friend.
- I guess I could go.
37
00:01:37,749 --> 00:01:39,490
I did buy those new
suede cowboy boots
38
00:01:39,534 --> 00:01:41,579
to see "A Star is Born"
opening night.
39
00:01:41,623 --> 00:01:45,453
I--I think I got
all the tear stains out.
40
00:01:45,496 --> 00:01:48,369
- You haven't had sex
with him yet?
41
00:01:48,412 --> 00:01:50,893
What, are you having it
renovated?
42
00:01:53,243 --> 00:01:55,202
Rip up the carpet,
paint the walls,
43
00:01:55,245 --> 00:01:57,291
and let him move in.
44
00:01:59,293 --> 00:02:02,252
[upbeat trumpet
and piano music]
45
00:02:02,296 --> 00:02:09,520
♪
46
00:02:12,001 --> 00:02:13,176
- It's Noah!
47
00:02:13,220 --> 00:02:14,612
- Uh...
48
00:02:14,656 --> 00:02:17,049
Noah, it's not a great time.
- Grace, open up.
49
00:02:17,093 --> 00:02:18,790
It's an emergency.
50
00:02:19,530 --> 00:02:21,141
Are you okay?
51
00:02:21,184 --> 00:02:25,623
- We need to have sex.
I think the window is closing.
52
00:02:26,668 --> 00:02:28,148
- I meant to bring it up
at dinner,
53
00:02:28,191 --> 00:02:30,454
but I got distracted
by that stupid waitress.
54
00:02:30,498 --> 00:02:32,587
"Hi, my name's Paisley."
55
00:02:34,241 --> 00:02:38,288
Who names their child
after an old lady's scarf?
56
00:02:38,332 --> 00:02:42,074
- Yesterday, I had
an Uber driver named Jonald.
57
00:02:42,118 --> 00:02:44,251
Two stars for your dumb name.
58
00:02:46,383 --> 00:02:49,473
- You may be the perfect woman.
59
00:02:49,517 --> 00:02:52,302
- I think so too.
60
00:02:52,346 --> 00:02:55,784
- Okay, that's enough foreplay.
Let's do this.
61
00:02:55,827 --> 00:02:57,916
So uh, what are we thinking?
Here or the bedroom?
62
00:02:57,960 --> 00:02:59,527
Is the balcony crazy?
63
00:02:59,570 --> 00:03:01,833
- Uh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa, stop.
64
00:03:01,877 --> 00:03:03,705
- Look at me.
65
00:03:03,748 --> 00:03:06,490
- Oh, okay.
66
00:03:06,534 --> 00:03:08,579
Is this better?
You like this?
67
00:03:11,495 --> 00:03:14,411
- Um, no, no.
No--I mean, yes.
68
00:03:14,455 --> 00:03:16,239
But, no, I just--
I just ate too much.
69
00:03:16,283 --> 00:03:17,675
I feel--I feel gross.
70
00:03:17,719 --> 00:03:19,503
- I don't think you're gross.
So, problem solved.
71
00:03:19,547 --> 00:03:21,375
- You've never
felt too gross for sex?
72
00:03:21,418 --> 00:03:22,680
- Never, not once.
73
00:03:22,724 --> 00:03:24,900
Not even the day
I got hit by a cab.
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00:03:26,641 --> 00:03:29,296
If the woman's on board,
the train leaves the station.
75
00:03:29,339 --> 00:03:31,689
- Well, women just
aren't wired like that.
76
00:03:31,733 --> 00:03:33,213
It's biology.
77
00:03:33,256 --> 00:03:34,692
- No, you're just
being neurotic.
78
00:03:34,736 --> 00:03:36,216
I'm not--
79
00:03:36,259 --> 00:03:38,479
You know what?
Fine.
80
00:03:38,522 --> 00:03:40,002
- No, whoa, whoa, whoa.
What are you doing?
81
00:03:40,045 --> 00:03:42,047
- We're having sex.
- No, no, we're not.
82
00:03:42,091 --> 00:03:43,571
Not--not if you don't feel
like it.
83
00:03:43,614 --> 00:03:44,920
- No, but you
talked me into it.
84
00:03:44,963 --> 00:03:47,183
- No, no, no, no, no.
No.
85
00:03:47,227 --> 00:03:49,316
No, nobody's talking anybody
into sex.
86
00:03:49,359 --> 00:03:51,274
Not in 2018.
87
00:03:55,278 --> 00:03:59,151
♪
88
00:03:59,195 --> 00:04:00,631
- Wow.
89
00:04:00,675 --> 00:04:02,024
You know,
being in Texas reminds me
90
00:04:02,067 --> 00:04:03,634
of watching "Dallas" as a kid,
91
00:04:03,678 --> 00:04:07,551
and wanting shoulder pads
like Victoria Principal.
92
00:04:07,595 --> 00:04:11,163
And using Maxi-Pads to do it.
93
00:04:11,207 --> 00:04:13,470
You know, like--
like most boys my age.
94
00:04:13,514 --> 00:04:15,907
- Keep your voice down,
Mary Ellen.
95
00:04:17,431 --> 00:04:19,737
You've been acting strange
since we landed.
96
00:04:19,781 --> 00:04:23,263
- I didn't know the real Texas
would be so...
97
00:04:23,306 --> 00:04:25,090
Texas
98
00:04:25,134 --> 00:04:29,356
I feel a suffocating cloud
of homophobia following us.
99
00:04:29,399 --> 00:04:31,880
- That may be the Midnight
Fantasy by Britney Spears
100
00:04:31,923 --> 00:04:34,099
that you're wearing.
101
00:04:34,143 --> 00:04:36,101
- Does this place seem
homo
102
00:04:36,145 --> 00:04:39,017
A guy outside looked at me
and spit on the ground.
103
00:04:39,061 --> 00:04:40,367
- He's chewing tobacco.
104
00:04:40,410 --> 00:04:41,716
You're not supposed
to swallow it.
105
00:04:41,759 --> 00:04:44,196
Homophobic!
106
00:04:44,240 --> 00:04:45,633
- Grandpa Jack! Will!
107
00:04:45,676 --> 00:04:46,982
- Hey!
- Oh, my God, Skip!
108
00:04:47,025 --> 00:04:49,419
- Good to see you, buddy.
Come here.
109
00:04:49,463 --> 00:04:51,682
- Oh, my God.
Hey, come sit.
110
00:04:51,726 --> 00:04:53,945
- My mom's outside.
I just wanted to say hi.
111
00:04:53,989 --> 00:04:56,383
I'm so glad you're going to
see me sing for the first time.
112
00:04:56,426 --> 00:04:57,601
- I wouldn't miss it
for the world.
113
00:04:57,645 --> 00:04:59,299
I'm so proud of you.
114
00:04:59,342 --> 00:05:00,648
You know, a lot of people
are scared
115
00:05:00,691 --> 00:05:02,302
to share their talents
with the world.
116
00:05:02,345 --> 00:05:05,522
- And some people aren't
scared enough to share theirs.
117
00:05:05,566 --> 00:05:09,134
- Good one.
- Not really.
118
00:05:09,178 --> 00:05:11,398
You're young. Your sense
of humor is still developing.
119
00:05:11,441 --> 00:05:12,834
Hey, let's take a selfie!
120
00:05:12,877 --> 00:05:14,488
My new Pixel
has a wide-angle lens
121
00:05:14,531 --> 00:05:17,447
so we can get
most of Will in it.
122
00:05:17,491 --> 00:05:19,971
See, that's funny and smart.
123
00:05:21,190 --> 00:05:22,757
There.
- So, uh, Skip.
124
00:05:22,800 --> 00:05:24,236
What church song
are you going to sing?
125
00:05:24,280 --> 00:05:25,890
- It's not that
kind of concert.
126
00:05:25,934 --> 00:05:28,415
It's a talent show, and
the song I'm doing is a secret.
127
00:05:28,458 --> 00:05:30,286
But you're going to love it.
128
00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:31,679
Who am I kidding?
I have to tell you.
129
00:05:31,722 --> 00:05:34,334
I'm doing "Diamonds
are a Girl's Best Friend"!
130
00:05:36,945 --> 00:05:41,166
- That's great.
- That's so great.
131
00:05:41,210 --> 00:05:42,559
Oh, my God!
132
00:05:42,603 --> 00:05:45,736
- That's a great song.
- To sing in Texas!
133
00:05:45,780 --> 00:05:48,260
No, it's not.
134
00:05:48,304 --> 00:05:50,045
It's so exciting.
Say, tell me.
135
00:05:50,088 --> 00:05:52,003
Is there an exit
from the backstage area
136
00:05:52,047 --> 00:05:54,484
to the street
in case of an emergency?
137
00:05:54,528 --> 00:05:57,182
- No reason.
138
00:05:57,226 --> 00:05:59,184
So exciting!
139
00:06:02,013 --> 00:06:02,187
.
140
00:06:05,756 --> 00:06:07,410
- I've got
an incoming civilian.
141
00:06:07,454 --> 00:06:12,372
Looks like a rich white lady.
Will engage and report back.
142
00:06:12,415 --> 00:06:15,418
- Yeah!
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
143
00:06:15,462 --> 00:06:19,074
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
144
00:06:22,469 --> 00:06:24,819
Howdy, officer.
Sorry I'm late,
145
00:06:24,862 --> 00:06:26,864
but I decided to go over
146
00:06:26,908 --> 00:06:30,912
the bumpiest parts
of the road twice.
147
00:06:32,957 --> 00:06:34,568
Let's just say this cowgirl
148
00:06:34,611 --> 00:06:39,399
was coming 'round the mountain
when she came.
149
00:06:41,313 --> 00:06:43,751
- I'm Karen Walker.
150
00:06:43,794 --> 00:06:47,145
This is my portion of the wall.
Pretty, isn't it?
151
00:06:47,189 --> 00:06:50,410
I love how it lets them see
what they can't have.
152
00:06:52,020 --> 00:06:53,630
- I'm afraid this isn't
your section of the wall.
153
00:06:53,674 --> 00:06:56,459
Someone else sponsored it.
- That's impossible.
154
00:06:56,503 --> 00:06:59,027
I specifically requested
this section
155
00:06:59,070 --> 00:07:01,856
because this is where the most
illegal drugs get seized.
156
00:07:01,899 --> 00:07:02,944
- I appreciate you
trying to help
157
00:07:02,987 --> 00:07:04,293
keep drugs out of America--
158
00:07:04,336 --> 00:07:06,643
- Who says I'm trying
to keep them out?
159
00:07:06,687 --> 00:07:08,471
This is an outrage.
160
00:07:08,515 --> 00:07:11,953
Who would have
the giant cojones
161
00:07:11,996 --> 00:07:15,957
to steal my sponsorship
of the wall?
162
00:07:16,000 --> 00:07:19,177
- Well, well, well.
163
00:07:25,836 --> 00:07:27,838
Hello, Karen.
164
00:07:27,882 --> 00:07:29,361
I thought
"Walker, Texas Ranger"
165
00:07:29,405 --> 00:07:33,191
got canceled years ago
because of old age.
166
00:07:33,235 --> 00:07:35,019
- Oh, and I nearly forgot
167
00:07:35,063 --> 00:07:38,849
to congratulate you
on "Toy Story 4."
168
00:07:38,893 --> 00:07:41,286
- I heard Stan
kicked you out of the manse
169
00:07:41,330 --> 00:07:43,506
like a dried-up old tumbleweed.
170
00:07:43,550 --> 00:07:46,988
I never thought you would have
blown all the way down here.
171
00:07:47,031 --> 00:07:50,731
Or are you just visiting
my section of the wall?
172
00:07:50,774 --> 00:07:54,256
- It's my section, Wyatt Twerp.
173
00:07:54,299 --> 00:07:56,345
Now get these Hot Wheels
out of here
174
00:07:56,388 --> 00:07:58,129
before I move them out for you.
175
00:07:58,173 --> 00:08:01,263
- I'd like to see you try.
- Hold on tight, Beverley.
176
00:08:01,306 --> 00:08:05,093
Because you're about to try
reverse cowboy.
177
00:08:08,575 --> 00:08:12,056
- Take that,
you Mexican jumping queen!
178
00:08:13,667 --> 00:08:15,407
♪
179
00:08:18,672 --> 00:08:21,326
- Hello.
- Well, hello.
180
00:08:21,370 --> 00:08:25,548
- You look great.
- And I feel like I look great.
181
00:08:25,592 --> 00:08:27,289
- Then nothing's
stopping the train
182
00:08:27,332 --> 00:08:30,205
from leaving the station.
183
00:08:30,248 --> 00:08:33,556
- All aboard
who's coming aboard.
184
00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:36,298
- I'm going to need
to see you papers.
185
00:08:38,474 --> 00:08:41,912
Wait, I just took it
to a weird Nazi place.
186
00:08:41,956 --> 00:08:44,088
All right, let's do this.
187
00:08:45,568 --> 00:08:47,657
- Oh, oh, by the way.
- Uh-huh.
188
00:08:47,701 --> 00:08:50,181
- A little something for later.
- Okay.
189
00:08:50,225 --> 00:08:53,576
Oh, my God!
You went to City Sandwich!
190
00:08:53,620 --> 00:08:57,362
- Oh, so good.
191
00:08:57,406 --> 00:08:59,582
Oh, God, I miss that place.
192
00:08:59,626 --> 00:09:02,454
It didn't go anywhere.
- Oh, well, it's kind of funny.
193
00:09:02,498 --> 00:09:03,934
I slept with a guy
who works there,
194
00:09:03,978 --> 00:09:05,806
and he got kind of--
kind of clingy.
195
00:09:05,849 --> 00:09:07,938
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
196
00:09:07,982 --> 00:09:09,461
You slept with a guy
who works there?
197
00:09:09,505 --> 00:09:10,637
- Yeah, he made
such good sandwiches,
198
00:09:10,680 --> 00:09:12,073
I thought I was into him,
199
00:09:12,116 --> 00:09:13,988
but it was definitely
just the sandwich.
200
00:09:14,031 --> 00:09:16,294
- Wait, wait, wait, wait.
The...
201
00:09:16,338 --> 00:09:18,122
The guy who makes
the sandwiches?
202
00:09:18,166 --> 00:09:20,603
With the beard?
You mean Brian?
203
00:09:22,605 --> 00:09:25,042
- Yeah.
204
00:09:25,086 --> 00:09:26,957
Of course I know Brian!
205
00:09:27,001 --> 00:09:28,437
Brian's my guy!
206
00:09:28,480 --> 00:09:31,614
- Well, I guess he was
kind of my guy too.
207
00:09:31,658 --> 00:09:32,963
- That's not funny.
208
00:09:33,007 --> 00:09:34,922
- I can't believe
you're this jealous.
209
00:09:34,965 --> 00:09:36,619
- No, no, no.
I'm not jealous, okay?
210
00:09:36,663 --> 00:09:39,056
It's just that you slept
with someone I know
211
00:09:39,100 --> 00:09:43,147
who just touched my meat.
212
00:09:43,191 --> 00:09:44,148
- What are we even
talking about?
213
00:09:44,192 --> 00:09:45,323
- I don't know.
214
00:09:45,367 --> 00:09:46,716
- So we're not--we're not--
215
00:09:55,464 --> 00:09:57,379
Delicious.
Brian wins again.
216
00:09:59,860 --> 00:10:03,341
- Skip can't sing a song
that gay in a Texas church.
217
00:10:03,385 --> 00:10:07,258
He'll be scarred for life.
Figuratively, and maybe even--
218
00:10:07,302 --> 00:10:08,825
What's the other one?
I can't remember.
219
00:10:08,869 --> 00:10:10,697
- Yes, well, I literally
220
00:10:10,740 --> 00:10:12,829
can't remember the opposite
of "figuratively."
221
00:10:12,873 --> 00:10:15,353
What am I going to do?
222
00:10:15,397 --> 00:10:18,618
You're the one who rescued him
from that conversion camp
223
00:10:18,661 --> 00:10:21,098
and gave him the courage
to be who he is.
224
00:10:21,142 --> 00:10:23,710
- In New York.
Not in Texas.
225
00:10:23,753 --> 00:10:25,755
They beat up gay kids
for sport here.
226
00:10:25,799 --> 00:10:28,671
Haven't you ever seen
"Friday Night Lights"?
227
00:10:28,715 --> 00:10:31,674
- Yes, but I'm pretty sure
you haven't.
228
00:10:31,718 --> 00:10:33,676
- Learning how
not to be a target
229
00:10:33,720 --> 00:10:36,723
is just as much a part of being
gay as learning how to do this.
230
00:10:39,682 --> 00:10:41,031
See what you made me do?
231
00:10:41,075 --> 00:10:43,381
You know I always high kick
when I'm emotional.
232
00:10:44,905 --> 00:10:47,211
- Jack, have you ever wondered
233
00:10:47,255 --> 00:10:49,910
why I'm not
a world
234
00:10:49,953 --> 00:10:52,347
- Can't sing,
can't dance, cankles?
235
00:10:55,742 --> 00:10:58,527
- It was the fall of 1980,
and a young Will Truman
236
00:10:58,570 --> 00:11:00,398
was crying into
his Perry Ellis sheets
237
00:11:00,442 --> 00:11:03,358
because his mother wouldn't
let him do the talent contest
238
00:11:03,401 --> 00:11:07,579
dressed as Freddie Mercury
from Queen.
239
00:11:07,623 --> 00:11:10,104
She said it was my own fault
if I got beat up.
240
00:11:10,147 --> 00:11:12,236
And when I signed up anyway,
241
00:11:12,280 --> 00:11:15,587
she hid my moustache
and fake teeth.
242
00:11:15,631 --> 00:11:17,198
- Wow.
243
00:11:17,241 --> 00:11:19,069
I see why you never
told me that story.
244
00:11:19,113 --> 00:11:21,550
- Yeah, painful.
245
00:11:21,593 --> 00:11:23,117
- It's long.
246
00:11:25,119 --> 00:11:27,425
Learn to edit, Will.
247
00:11:27,469 --> 00:11:29,601
- Jack, this is
my origin story.
248
00:11:29,645 --> 00:11:32,430
Me, alone, singing
"Bohemian Rhapsody"
249
00:11:32,474 --> 00:11:35,782
to my GI Joes, who met while
on leave and fell in love.
250
00:11:38,480 --> 00:11:39,916
Do you know how that felt?
251
00:11:39,960 --> 00:11:41,352
Trying to be a queen,
252
00:11:41,396 --> 00:11:44,921
and not being supported
by someone I love?
253
00:11:44,965 --> 00:11:48,795
It left a mark that I've
never completely gotten over.
254
00:11:52,189 --> 00:11:54,888
- He'll get bullied.
- Maybe.
255
00:11:54,931 --> 00:11:56,759
And that would be horrible.
256
00:11:56,803 --> 00:12:00,067
But he needs to live his truth,
and you need to support him.
257
00:12:00,110 --> 00:12:03,287
- That all makes sense
in America.
258
00:12:03,331 --> 00:12:05,942
But this is Texas!
259
00:12:05,986 --> 00:12:09,163
♪
260
00:12:10,686 --> 00:12:10,860
.
261
00:12:13,123 --> 00:12:14,777
- This is preposterous!
262
00:12:14,821 --> 00:12:17,345
What am I even
being charged with?
263
00:12:17,388 --> 00:12:20,740
- Fleeing the scene
of a child's birthday cake.
264
00:12:22,872 --> 00:12:25,005
And stealing my wall.
265
00:12:25,048 --> 00:12:27,137
- Mr. Leslie,
can you come with me?
266
00:12:27,181 --> 00:12:28,878
- I will.
267
00:12:28,922 --> 00:12:30,924
There's no need
for excessive force.
268
00:12:30,967 --> 00:12:33,753
Unless that's what you're into.
269
00:12:37,582 --> 00:12:40,934
- This place
is pretty miserable.
270
00:12:40,977 --> 00:12:42,936
Unless...
271
00:12:42,979 --> 00:12:45,939
I'm sorry, is this your house?
272
00:12:45,982 --> 00:12:50,291
- No, I'm locked up, like you.
273
00:12:50,334 --> 00:12:52,772
- I tried to climb
your precious wall.
274
00:12:52,815 --> 00:12:55,775
- Oh, well, maybe you should do
what other immigrants do
275
00:12:55,818 --> 00:12:58,865
to try to get in legally,
like,
276
00:12:58,908 --> 00:13:03,434
I don't know, be white,
or look white, or...
277
00:13:03,478 --> 00:13:06,611
marry the president.
278
00:13:08,962 --> 00:13:13,096
Besides, is Mexico so bad?
279
00:13:13,140 --> 00:13:14,881
- I snuck across
the southern border
280
00:13:14,924 --> 00:13:16,883
fleeing the brutal gangs
of my home.
281
00:13:16,926 --> 00:13:20,321
I have travelled 2,000 miles
and spent my life savings
282
00:13:20,364 --> 00:13:23,628
paying off the cops
and hiding from the cartels.
283
00:13:23,672 --> 00:13:28,024
For me, Mexico has been hell.
284
00:13:28,068 --> 00:13:29,765
- Well.
285
00:13:29,809 --> 00:13:31,201
The beaches are nice,
286
00:13:31,245 --> 00:13:34,901
but it sounds like you've
been mostly inland.
287
00:13:38,078 --> 00:13:41,603
I bet you couldn't even find
El Salvador on a map.
288
00:13:43,083 --> 00:13:45,868
I knew someone
from El Salvador.
289
00:13:45,912 --> 00:13:50,612
Her name was Rosario.
Did you know her?
290
00:13:50,655 --> 00:13:52,266
- We had a burro
named Rosario.
291
00:13:52,309 --> 00:13:55,922
Loud, and stubborn, and kicked
you when you got too close.
292
00:13:57,140 --> 00:13:59,099
- That's her!
293
00:13:59,142 --> 00:14:01,928
♪
294
00:14:03,712 --> 00:14:05,061
- All right, I walked
around the block,
295
00:14:05,105 --> 00:14:07,368
and I saw a millennial
protesting straws
296
00:14:07,411 --> 00:14:09,109
get crapped on by a pigeon,
297
00:14:09,152 --> 00:14:12,112
and I didn't even
crack a smile.
298
00:14:12,155 --> 00:14:13,940
- Because that sort of thing
299
00:14:13,983 --> 00:14:16,203
usually cheers me up.
300
00:14:17,160 --> 00:14:19,293
Are we too crazy
for each other?
301
00:14:19,336 --> 00:14:21,948
- Well, you are a lot of work.
- You're no picnic, either.
302
00:14:21,991 --> 00:14:24,864
Eh, who am I kidding?
303
00:14:28,955 --> 00:14:33,133
You know what, maybe it's good
that the window closed.
304
00:14:33,176 --> 00:14:34,656
- Yeah.
305
00:14:34,699 --> 00:14:36,353
Maybe we dodged a bullet.
306
00:14:38,573 --> 00:14:40,792
- It's a shame, really.
307
00:14:40,836 --> 00:14:44,274
- I bet the sex with us
would have been amazing.
308
00:14:44,318 --> 00:14:45,623
- Definitely, I mean,
309
00:14:45,667 --> 00:14:47,974
crazy on crazy
can get pretty crazy.
310
00:14:48,017 --> 00:14:49,845
- In my '20s,
I'd just phone it in.
311
00:14:49,889 --> 00:14:51,847
Now I got something to prove.
312
00:14:53,196 --> 00:14:56,156
- My constant fear of death
has infused my lovemaking
313
00:14:56,199 --> 00:14:59,159
with a sense of panic
that's really upped my game.
314
00:15:00,856 --> 00:15:02,075
- At this point,
315
00:15:02,118 --> 00:15:05,295
there's basically nothing
I won't do.
316
00:15:05,339 --> 00:15:07,210
- Mm.
317
00:15:08,255 --> 00:15:11,736
- It's too bad.
- Yeah, too bad.
318
00:15:15,262 --> 00:15:17,699
Hey, when you say
there's basically nothing
319
00:15:17,742 --> 00:15:19,657
you won't do, you--
you mean--
320
00:15:19,701 --> 00:15:22,922
- Everything.
321
00:15:28,014 --> 00:15:31,365
I'm tired.
I'm going to bed.
322
00:15:31,408 --> 00:15:33,236
You can let yourself out.
323
00:15:38,546 --> 00:15:40,940
Oh, my God.
What is taking you so long?
324
00:15:45,945 --> 00:15:46,336
.
325
00:15:49,687 --> 00:15:51,776
- You know,
up until this point,
326
00:15:51,820 --> 00:15:54,475
I hadn't heard one bad thing
about the wall,
327
00:15:54,518 --> 00:15:57,347
and I watch Fox News
all the time.
328
00:15:58,522 --> 00:16:01,873
I've heard a lot about
the War on Christmas, but...
329
00:16:04,311 --> 00:16:07,662
Well, they've never trashed
the wall.
330
00:16:07,705 --> 00:16:09,272
Gosh.
331
00:16:09,316 --> 00:16:12,232
What if it had kept
my Rosario out?
332
00:16:12,275 --> 00:16:15,452
She came to America,
just like you want to.
333
00:16:15,496 --> 00:16:18,455
And all her dreams came true.
334
00:16:22,198 --> 00:16:23,721
- She cleaned my toilets,
335
00:16:23,765 --> 00:16:29,336
and made sure I didn't choke
on my own sick while I slept.
336
00:16:29,379 --> 00:16:31,338
- My dreams are
a little different.
337
00:16:31,381 --> 00:16:34,732
How so?
338
00:16:34,776 --> 00:16:38,693
- My husband came here four
years ago with my daughter.
339
00:16:38,736 --> 00:16:41,652
I just want to be
with them again.
340
00:16:44,916 --> 00:16:45,917
- Hmm.
341
00:16:50,009 --> 00:16:53,795
Here, honey.
Take this.
342
00:16:53,838 --> 00:16:57,103
I bought it for myself
when Rosario died.
343
00:16:57,146 --> 00:16:59,801
It's worth
a stupid amount of money.
344
00:16:59,844 --> 00:17:02,891
Sell it, and maybe you can
get yourself out of here
345
00:17:02,934 --> 00:17:04,371
and find your family.
346
00:17:06,373 --> 00:17:08,244
- Mrs. Walker,
you're free to go.
347
00:17:08,288 --> 00:17:10,072
- Thank you.
348
00:17:10,116 --> 00:17:13,945
You seem like a person
with many horrible qualities.
349
00:17:15,251 --> 00:17:16,905
Who can occasionally
be redeemed
350
00:17:16,948 --> 00:17:19,386
through unexpected kindness.
351
00:17:19,429 --> 00:17:21,431
- Good read.
352
00:17:22,998 --> 00:17:24,434
- Oh, Karen,
353
00:17:24,478 --> 00:17:28,786
the things he made me do to him
to let us go.
354
00:17:31,050 --> 00:17:35,402
He may look like Mr. Clean,
but he's Mr. Dirty.
355
00:17:39,754 --> 00:17:42,104
Anyway, he said that
all we had to do
356
00:17:42,148 --> 00:17:44,063
was split the cost of repairing
357
00:17:44,106 --> 00:17:45,934
the gap that we made
in the wall.
358
00:17:45,977 --> 00:17:47,327
- Well, you're on your own.
359
00:17:47,370 --> 00:17:49,198
I'm not sponsoring
that thing anymore.
360
00:17:49,242 --> 00:17:50,982
Do I look like the kind of man
361
00:17:51,026 --> 00:17:53,550
that would pay
an exorbitant amount of money
362
00:17:53,594 --> 00:17:55,770
just to have a hole filled?
363
00:17:59,643 --> 00:18:01,602
- Oh, Beverley Leslie.
364
00:18:01,645 --> 00:18:04,213
Sometimes,
you make it too easy.
365
00:18:04,257 --> 00:18:10,132
♪
366
00:18:10,176 --> 00:18:12,265
- Hi, is this where
the talent show is?
367
00:18:12,308 --> 00:18:15,137
- You are in the right place.
The last boy is singing now.
368
00:18:15,181 --> 00:18:19,054
The "sensitive" one
with the fancy haircut.
369
00:18:19,098 --> 00:18:21,970
- Will, start the car.
- Yeah, we--we took a Lyft.
370
00:18:22,013 --> 00:18:24,015
And I cannot let you--
- Start the Lyft!
371
00:18:24,059 --> 00:18:26,279
- ♪ Diamonds!
372
00:18:26,322 --> 00:18:28,281
♪ But diamonds
373
00:18:28,324 --> 00:18:29,717
♪
374
00:18:29,760 --> 00:18:31,545
♪ Are a girl's best
375
00:18:31,588 --> 00:18:35,331
♪
376
00:18:35,375 --> 00:18:37,377
♪ Best friend
377
00:18:42,860 --> 00:18:46,255
- Oh, my God!
They're all slapping him!
378
00:18:46,299 --> 00:18:48,214
- You don't recognize
that sound
379
00:18:48,257 --> 00:18:52,087
because it's applause.
380
00:18:52,131 --> 00:18:56,135
Jack?
Open your eyes.
381
00:18:56,178 --> 00:18:59,181
They love him.
382
00:18:59,225 --> 00:19:03,011
- They do.
- They do!
383
00:19:03,054 --> 00:19:07,494
That's my grandson!
He's related to me!
384
00:19:07,537 --> 00:19:10,584
- I dreamed of being
in a talent show once.
385
00:19:10,627 --> 00:19:13,326
I fantasized about playing
my idol, Freddie Mercury,
386
00:19:13,369 --> 00:19:16,764
but my mother had other ideas.
387
00:19:16,807 --> 00:19:19,462
- This sounds like
a long story.
388
00:19:21,377 --> 00:19:23,640
- Yeah, but I--
I made some edits.
389
00:19:23,684 --> 00:19:25,425
- Great job, Skip.
390
00:19:25,468 --> 00:19:27,209
- I want to thank
my Grandpa Jack
391
00:19:27,253 --> 00:19:30,691
for teaching me to always be
true to myself, no matter what.
392
00:19:30,734 --> 00:19:32,997
- Sounds like
he's a great role model.
393
00:19:33,041 --> 00:19:34,825
- No, I'm not, I--
394
00:19:34,869 --> 00:19:37,915
but now's not the time to make
some dramatic confession.
395
00:19:37,959 --> 00:19:41,702
I am the worst role model
in the world!
396
00:19:41,745 --> 00:19:43,007
May I?
397
00:19:43,051 --> 00:19:45,662
- Oh, I'd really rather--
- Thank you so much.
398
00:19:45,706 --> 00:19:49,362
Skip, I've been
a terrible grandpa.
399
00:19:49,405 --> 00:19:52,495
I came here to actually
stop you from performing.
400
00:19:52,539 --> 00:19:54,236
- Well, why would you
want to stop me?
401
00:19:54,280 --> 00:19:57,500
- Because I--I thought they
wouldn't accept you as you are.
402
00:19:57,544 --> 00:20:00,068
I just assumed
they'd be homophobic,
403
00:20:00,111 --> 00:20:04,986
but it turns out
I was Texa-phobic.
404
00:20:06,596 --> 00:20:08,076
- Intolerance comes
in many forms.
405
00:20:08,119 --> 00:20:09,295
- I'm having
a private conversation
406
00:20:09,338 --> 00:20:11,297
with my grandson here.
407
00:20:11,340 --> 00:20:13,342
Thank you.
408
00:20:13,386 --> 00:20:14,778
- Then why are you still
on the mic?
409
00:20:14,822 --> 00:20:16,302
- Because it's
a teachable moment, pastor!
410
00:20:16,345 --> 00:20:17,912
Thank you, go in peace.
411
00:20:22,873 --> 00:20:27,661
Skip, it's--it's important to
see people for who they are,
412
00:20:27,704 --> 00:20:30,316
not for who
you expect them to be.
413
00:20:30,359 --> 00:20:33,406
A powerful notion
everyone heard
414
00:20:33,449 --> 00:20:35,625
because I'm on the mic!
415
00:20:36,887 --> 00:20:41,979
Please, don't let anyone ever
talk you out of being you.
416
00:20:42,023 --> 00:20:45,244
- Even if it's me.
417
00:20:45,287 --> 00:20:48,116
Although, Marilyn did have
cleaner lines
418
00:20:48,159 --> 00:20:50,074
and a stronger turnout.
419
00:20:53,817 --> 00:20:55,819
But we got time for that.
420
00:20:55,863 --> 00:20:57,908
And I just want to say
to my friend, Will,
421
00:20:57,952 --> 00:20:59,519
that I should have listened
to him,
422
00:20:59,562 --> 00:21:01,434
and that I wish
he had the chance
423
00:21:01,477 --> 00:21:03,305
to let out his inner "Queen."
424
00:21:03,349 --> 00:21:05,568
- ♪ Ay-oh!
425
00:21:10,225 --> 00:21:13,663
♪ Ay-oh
426
00:21:13,707 --> 00:21:15,970
♪ Ay-oh!
427
00:21:17,841 --> 00:21:20,583
Can something be too gay?
428
00:21:22,237 --> 00:21:24,195
- Yes, it can, Skip.
29535
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