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# I don't know how it happened
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# I don't know who's to blame...
3
00:00:09,840 --> 00:00:11,680
That first night, we watched
Trainspotting.
4
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She said she hadn't seen it, and I
was, like, "How could you not have
seen that film?
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00:00:15,040 --> 00:00:17,080
"It's the story of your people."
And she was, like,
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"That's Scotland, you dumb fuck."
7
00:00:20,200 --> 00:00:23,120
And you know that scene, where the
baby's crawling on the ceiling,
8
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and it slowly turns its head around?
9
00:00:25,880 --> 00:00:29,600
It was during that scene that I knew
I had feelings for her.
10
00:00:29,640 --> 00:00:31,080
Now every time we have sex,
11
00:00:31,120 --> 00:00:33,480
she can't climax unless that scene's
playing.
12
00:00:33,520 --> 00:00:34,840
No, that's not true.
13
00:00:34,880 --> 00:00:38,640
That's Sadie being an asshole,
and shitting on a nice memory.
14
00:00:38,680 --> 00:00:40,920
When did the professional
partnership start?
15
00:00:40,960 --> 00:00:43,840
Well, I pitched the idea for mine
that first night.
16
00:00:43,880 --> 00:00:46,240
But then we didn't get together for
another three years,
17
00:00:46,280 --> 00:00:48,560
but the idea stuck with me.
18
00:00:48,600 --> 00:00:51,600
So, once Shazam came out, I knew it
would be easier to pitch,
19
00:00:51,640 --> 00:00:53,800
you know, Shazam for clothes, so...
20
00:00:53,840 --> 00:00:55,000
Yeah.
21
00:00:55,040 --> 00:01:00,160
It's insane that we're launching in a few months and
we've been talking about this for, like, 13 years.
22
00:01:00,200 --> 00:01:01,800
Sorry to interrupt.
23
00:01:06,040 --> 00:01:09,160
Will you forward Jacob's e-mail and
tell them I'll return by end of day?
24
00:01:09,200 --> 00:01:10,880
Sure. Thanks, Hye Me.
25
00:01:10,920 --> 00:01:12,600
God, she's so fucking cool.
26
00:01:13,680 --> 00:01:15,040
I love her hairdo.
27
00:01:15,080 --> 00:01:16,400
Can I ask you,
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do you have any plans to start a
family?
29
00:01:18,640 --> 00:01:20,200
Of course. Here we go...
30
00:01:20,240 --> 00:01:23,520
I feel if we were men, you wouldn't
be asking that question.
31
00:01:25,800 --> 00:01:29,840
You think you can get away with
murder cos you're so fucking pretty?
32
00:01:29,880 --> 00:01:30,960
Uh...
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00:01:31,000 --> 00:01:35,760
We do want kids, we are waiting to
launch this baby first.
34
00:01:35,800 --> 00:01:36,920
And who's going to carry it?
35
00:01:36,960 --> 00:01:39,840
Oh, uh, definitely Leila, I...
36
00:01:39,880 --> 00:01:42,160
I couldn't do it, it'd be like
Arnold Schwarzenegger
37
00:01:42,200 --> 00:01:44,440
in that film Junior.
38
00:01:44,480 --> 00:01:47,640
And if we are going to use my eggs
for our first, then my age
39
00:01:47,680 --> 00:01:49,200
is going to be an issue.
40
00:01:49,240 --> 00:01:51,200
Yeah, but if I'm going through the
bullshit
41
00:01:51,240 --> 00:01:53,800
of childbirth, that kid's going to
have my old nose!
42
00:01:56,400 --> 00:01:58,160
I'm just kidding.
43
00:01:58,200 --> 00:02:02,240
What's it's like being women in such
a male-dominated business?
44
00:02:02,280 --> 00:02:04,440
Do we have to answer that question?
45
00:02:04,480 --> 00:02:09,200
I genuinely think it's a really
stupid question.
46
00:02:09,240 --> 00:02:11,440
We've talked about kids and
marriage.
47
00:02:11,480 --> 00:02:14,280
We talked about it, you know,
abstractly.
48
00:02:14,320 --> 00:02:16,960
We also talk about euthanasia.
49
00:02:17,000 --> 00:02:18,960
You are the person I want to be
with.
50
00:02:20,520 --> 00:02:22,200
How can you be so sure?
51
00:02:25,360 --> 00:02:26,680
Marry me.
52
00:02:29,080 --> 00:02:32,320
I am not going to marry you in the
fucking toilet.
53
00:02:32,360 --> 00:02:34,680
I'm being serious.
54
00:02:34,720 --> 00:02:35,840
Will you marry me?
55
00:02:47,200 --> 00:02:50,120
Leila, put your hand on top of
Sadie's hand on the mouse.
56
00:02:50,160 --> 00:02:51,680
Oh, that's so fantastic,
57
00:02:51,720 --> 00:02:52,960
That's great, yeah.
58
00:02:53,000 --> 00:02:54,920
Normal day at work.
59
00:02:54,960 --> 00:02:56,120
Put your fist on your chin,
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00:02:56,160 --> 00:02:58,320
like you're both that statue,
The Thinker.
61
00:02:59,360 --> 00:03:01,520
Oh, yes, that's perfect.
62
00:03:01,560 --> 00:03:04,640
OK, Sadie, cradle Leila in your
arms, like she's your child.
63
00:03:09,760 --> 00:03:11,120
Oh, yeah. Oh...
64
00:03:11,160 --> 00:03:12,240
You look so good.
65
00:03:12,280 --> 00:03:13,280
That's fantastic.
66
00:03:13,320 --> 00:03:14,480
Erm, kiss?
67
00:03:17,320 --> 00:03:19,320
Eyes to camera.
68
00:03:19,360 --> 00:03:22,000
Big smile - smile it up.
69
00:03:22,040 --> 00:03:23,320
Yes, that's it.
70
00:03:35,320 --> 00:03:36,320
Don't go.
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00:03:38,360 --> 00:03:39,920
It'll only be a few months.
72
00:03:50,920 --> 00:03:53,480
Is this you having a nervous
breakdown?
73
00:03:53,520 --> 00:03:57,280
You're not going to start writing on
the wall in faeces, are you?
74
00:03:57,320 --> 00:03:59,680
I read somewhere that this is a
really good thing to do
75
00:03:59,720 --> 00:04:01,400
when you're upset.
76
00:04:01,440 --> 00:04:03,400
It gets your heart rate up.
77
00:04:10,440 --> 00:04:11,720
Is it working?
78
00:04:11,760 --> 00:04:12,760
No.
79
00:04:19,000 --> 00:04:21,560
You will tell me if you sleep with
somebody else?
80
00:04:26,320 --> 00:04:27,720
Do you really want to know?
81
00:04:28,920 --> 00:04:30,000
Right...
82
00:04:40,680 --> 00:04:43,040
I'm really sorry I'm fucking
everything up.
83
00:04:44,600 --> 00:04:47,560
If you're going to go, just go.
84
00:04:47,600 --> 00:04:48,600
CLEARS THROAT
85
00:04:58,720 --> 00:05:00,560
She's totally on board.
86
00:05:00,600 --> 00:05:02,440
She thinks it's a really good idea.
87
00:05:02,480 --> 00:05:06,080
Like, she hasn't said that verbally,
but I can tell.
88
00:05:07,320 --> 00:05:10,840
And we're in a really good place,
and, um...
89
00:05:12,520 --> 00:05:14,960
I don't know, you can still love and
support each other
90
00:05:15,000 --> 00:05:17,080
and be on a break, you know?
91
00:05:17,120 --> 00:05:18,640
Only a lesbian would say that.
92
00:05:18,680 --> 00:05:21,040
Yeah, cos only a lesbian would be
capable of it.
93
00:05:21,080 --> 00:05:22,600
Sorry - what I meant was,
94
00:05:22,640 --> 00:05:25,040
only a lesbian would be so full of
her own shit
95
00:05:25,080 --> 00:05:27,640
that she would say that and believe
it to be true.
96
00:05:33,400 --> 00:05:37,200
Do you think I'm doing the wrong
thing, with Sadie?
97
00:05:40,800 --> 00:05:43,080
I love these talks we have.
98
00:05:43,120 --> 00:05:47,760
anything.
How the fuck am I supposed to know
if you're doing the right thing or
not? You haven't told me
99
00:05:47,800 --> 00:05:48,880
There's nothing to say.
100
00:05:48,920 --> 00:05:50,320
She wants to get married.
101
00:05:50,360 --> 00:05:51,720
We're in different places.
102
00:05:53,800 --> 00:05:56,080
How long is the break?
103
00:05:56,120 --> 00:05:57,760
I don't know, a few months?
104
00:05:59,080 --> 00:06:00,640
So what are you going to do for sex?
105
00:06:00,680 --> 00:06:01,680
Meh...
106
00:06:01,720 --> 00:06:03,480
I don't know, sex is complicated.
107
00:06:03,520 --> 00:06:04,640
How?
108
00:06:04,680 --> 00:06:05,680
Like...
109
00:06:06,960 --> 00:06:08,880
like, you strategise how you're
going to get it,
110
00:06:08,920 --> 00:06:11,640
and then you anticipate it, and then
once it's finally happening,
111
00:06:11,680 --> 00:06:13,560
don't you wish you could just
fast-forward,
112
00:06:13,600 --> 00:06:15,960
cos all the pressure's on you to
come, and you'd rather just
113
00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:18,720
give head than worry about your own
orgasm?
114
00:06:18,760 --> 00:06:21,080
Nope, not at all.
115
00:06:21,120 --> 00:06:22,160
Good for you.
116
00:06:25,480 --> 00:06:27,160
What is this, on your neck?
117
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Nothing.
118
00:06:28,280 --> 00:06:29,760
Is that a hickey?
119
00:06:29,800 --> 00:06:31,720
Who did that to you?
120
00:06:31,760 --> 00:06:32,960
Some girl I met.
121
00:06:34,720 --> 00:06:36,000
What happened?
122
00:06:36,040 --> 00:06:37,520
That's it.
123
00:06:37,560 --> 00:06:39,360
The movie rights are available.
124
00:06:39,400 --> 00:06:40,920
SHE LAUGHS
125
00:06:40,960 --> 00:06:42,640
I googled that guy you're living
with.
126
00:06:42,680 --> 00:06:43,720
Yeah, what did you think?
127
00:06:43,760 --> 00:06:45,280
You should move in with me.
128
00:06:45,320 --> 00:06:47,640
No, I'm not living with you and your
parents in Chingford.
129
00:06:47,680 --> 00:06:49,880
It's better than living with some
dickhead on Gumtree
130
00:06:49,920 --> 00:06:52,240
that peaked in 2005.
131
00:06:52,280 --> 00:06:54,920
He's a successful novelist!
132
00:06:54,960 --> 00:06:57,040
Published one book over a decade
ago.
133
00:06:57,080 --> 00:06:59,080
No, you cannot text and drive!
134
00:06:59,120 --> 00:07:02,640
I hate it when you do this!
I'm hardly fucking moving!
135
00:07:02,680 --> 00:07:05,640
You know, if he weren't white and
straight, you would be impressed.
136
00:07:05,680 --> 00:07:07,160
If he wasn't white and straight,
137
00:07:07,200 --> 00:07:09,760
he wouldn't have written a book
called Testicular.
138
00:07:15,680 --> 00:07:16,760
Leila!
139
00:07:16,800 --> 00:07:18,440
Hi. Welcome.
140
00:07:18,480 --> 00:07:20,800
This is my friend, Deniz.
Deniz, this is Gabe.
141
00:07:20,840 --> 00:07:22,080
Dennis? Deniz.
142
00:07:22,120 --> 00:07:23,680
Dennis? Deniz.
143
00:07:23,720 --> 00:07:24,720
Deniz.
144
00:07:24,760 --> 00:07:26,120
Forget it, man.
145
00:07:26,160 --> 00:07:29,080
I'm sorry, have we met? I feel like
I know you from somewhere.
146
00:07:29,120 --> 00:07:31,240
That's ever think, I have to go to
work.
147
00:07:31,280 --> 00:07:33,600
I adore you, thank you.
148
00:07:33,640 --> 00:07:34,880
Pull yourself together.
149
00:07:39,800 --> 00:07:40,880
Hey, nice car.
150
00:07:42,560 --> 00:07:44,840
See you later, Deniz.
151
00:07:44,880 --> 00:07:46,080
IGNITION STARTS
152
00:07:48,480 --> 00:07:50,480
I don't think I've ever made such a
bad impression
153
00:07:50,520 --> 00:07:52,760
in such a condensed period of time.
154
00:07:52,800 --> 00:07:54,800
No, that's just her face.
155
00:07:56,600 --> 00:07:57,600
Oh.
156
00:07:59,080 --> 00:08:00,640
Zadie Smith - you a fan?
157
00:08:00,680 --> 00:08:01,920
Yeah.
158
00:08:01,960 --> 00:08:04,120
Yeah, there are a lot of things I
like about her work.
159
00:08:04,160 --> 00:08:08,280
I mean, do I think it's deserving of
an endless stream of flowery praise?
160
00:08:08,320 --> 00:08:11,800
Not really - but, you know, she's
not untalented.
161
00:08:11,840 --> 00:08:13,160
Coffee? Yes, thanks.
162
00:08:13,200 --> 00:08:16,080
Gabe, I found another tub of that
protein powder stuff.
163
00:08:16,120 --> 00:08:20,000
ter...
It hasn't been opened - do you want
to take it back to the shop?
Hi, I'm Laura, Gabe's sis
164
00:08:20,040 --> 00:08:21,760
Oh, it's expired, I'm going to chuck
it.
165
00:08:21,800 --> 00:08:23,400
Hi, I'm Leila. Nice to meet you.
166
00:08:23,440 --> 00:08:26,640
OK, so I am done, remember to heat
the chicken before you eat it.
167
00:08:26,680 --> 00:08:28,520
Yeah, well, I'm not a bloody animal!
168
00:08:28,560 --> 00:08:31,120
I'm sorry about the smell in the
room, Gabe's last flatmate
169
00:08:31,160 --> 00:08:33,040
used to piss in bottles and leave it
around.
170
00:08:33,080 --> 00:08:34,400
We don't know that for a fact.
171
00:08:34,440 --> 00:08:35,760
OK, love.
172
00:08:35,800 --> 00:08:37,960
Bye, Leila, nice to meet you.
173
00:08:38,000 --> 00:08:39,200
Nice to meet you.
174
00:08:42,160 --> 00:08:45,320
I've never lived with a woman before
- except my sister.
175
00:08:45,360 --> 00:08:48,320
Don't worry, I'm not going to try it
on.
176
00:08:48,360 --> 00:08:49,480
Thank you for that.
177
00:08:49,520 --> 00:08:51,280
No, you don't shit where you eat.
178
00:08:51,320 --> 00:08:53,280
Also, I'm gay so...
179
00:08:54,640 --> 00:08:55,840
Yes, of course.
180
00:08:57,920 --> 00:08:58,920
You're gay.
181
00:09:01,920 --> 00:09:03,880
There you go. Thanks.
182
00:09:03,920 --> 00:09:05,280
Oh, where do you keep the sugar?
183
00:09:05,320 --> 00:09:06,720
The spice cupboard. Ah.
184
00:09:09,320 --> 00:09:10,840
So how did you know that girl?
185
00:09:10,880 --> 00:09:12,800
Is she your l...your lover?
186
00:09:13,800 --> 00:09:16,280
No, we're just friends, we went to
uni together.
187
00:09:16,320 --> 00:09:17,360
Cool.
188
00:09:18,760 --> 00:09:21,280
I should go, uh...unpack my stuff.
189
00:09:21,320 --> 00:09:23,280
Cool, well, you let me know
if you need anything.
190
00:09:23,320 --> 00:09:24,600
Will do. Hmm.
191
00:09:28,760 --> 00:09:31,600
ON COMPUTER: What do you feel about
a clean-shaven vagina?
192
00:09:31,640 --> 00:09:34,000
Completely shaved or trimmed really
short.
193
00:09:34,040 --> 00:09:35,560
That's, like, my preference.
194
00:09:35,600 --> 00:09:38,880
I've had a bad time with a lot of
hair once, so... What happened?
195
00:09:38,920 --> 00:09:41,640
Yeah, it was just sort of really
awkward, I just... I couldn't stand
196
00:09:41,680 --> 00:09:44,760
to put my hand down - it just felt
like someone's head was down there,
it was...
197
00:09:44,800 --> 00:09:45,840
VIDEO STOPS
198
00:09:45,880 --> 00:09:47,600
MAN AND WOMAN YELL
199
00:09:51,480 --> 00:09:52,800
DIAL TONE
200
00:09:54,200 --> 00:09:56,680
ON PHONE: Hi, this is Sadie, leave a
message.
201
00:09:58,160 --> 00:10:00,120
Hey, it's me, um...
202
00:10:00,160 --> 00:10:03,160
Just wanted to say the place is
great, and I hope you're good.
203
00:10:03,200 --> 00:10:04,440
All right, bye, Sadie.
204
00:10:04,480 --> 00:10:05,600
Call me back.
205
00:10:10,920 --> 00:10:12,200
SHE SIGHS
206
00:10:13,480 --> 00:10:14,480
Oh...
207
00:10:15,880 --> 00:10:17,320
WOMAN PASSIONATELY MOANING
208
00:10:19,280 --> 00:10:20,280
RYTHMIC THUDS
209
00:10:22,280 --> 00:10:24,320
MUFFLED SPEECH
210
00:10:26,680 --> 00:10:28,360
MOANING INTENSIFIES
211
00:10:31,960 --> 00:10:34,520
Deep, deep, deep...!
212
00:10:34,560 --> 00:10:36,080
WOMAN FAKING ORGASM
213
00:10:36,120 --> 00:10:39,520
ON PHONE: From WBEZ Chicago, it's
This American Life, I'm Ira Glass.
214
00:10:39,560 --> 00:10:41,680
Brides in white, little
three-year-old nieces sent
215
00:10:41,720 --> 00:10:43,760
waddling down aisles throwing rose
petals,
216
00:10:43,800 --> 00:10:46,280
how many of these happy couples
are actually mismatched?
217
00:10:46,320 --> 00:10:48,000
A huge number.
218
00:10:48,040 --> 00:10:50,440
It's frightening going to weddings.
THUDDING INTENSIFIES
219
00:10:50,480 --> 00:10:53,520
Meet Alain de Botton, author of
articles with titles like,
220
00:10:53,560 --> 00:10:55,400
Why You Will Marry The Wrong
Person...
221
00:11:08,040 --> 00:11:10,200
Humph.
222
00:11:10,240 --> 00:11:11,520
MUTTERING: Come on...
223
00:11:21,640 --> 00:11:22,640
FAKES YAWN
224
00:11:36,960 --> 00:11:39,160
W-What time is it?
225
00:11:39,200 --> 00:11:40,440
9:42.
226
00:11:40,480 --> 00:11:42,440
Shit, that late?!
227
00:11:46,840 --> 00:11:48,280
You got a big day?
228
00:11:48,320 --> 00:11:49,560
Not really.
229
00:11:49,600 --> 00:11:50,600
Cool.
230
00:11:54,400 --> 00:11:55,400
Look...
231
00:12:03,280 --> 00:12:04,880
You're beautiful. Thank you.
232
00:12:04,920 --> 00:12:05,920
Yeah.
233
00:12:07,920 --> 00:12:10,960
You know, I really feel, like under
a different set of circumstances,
234
00:12:11,000 --> 00:12:14,920
we could really pursue this, make it
work, share a life together.
235
00:12:14,960 --> 00:12:16,280
Really? Yeah.
236
00:12:16,320 --> 00:12:18,400
God, you're so great.
237
00:12:18,440 --> 00:12:19,440
I just...
238
00:12:20,760 --> 00:12:22,680
You know, you're my student.
239
00:12:24,280 --> 00:12:28,520
I think it's something that we
should leave unexplored
240
00:12:28,560 --> 00:12:29,880
for the time being.
241
00:12:32,080 --> 00:12:34,840
I had no idea you felt that way.
242
00:12:34,880 --> 00:12:36,800
I'm flattered, but...
243
00:12:36,840 --> 00:12:39,480
I think you're right when you say
this can't work.
244
00:12:39,520 --> 00:12:40,520
Oh?
245
00:12:40,560 --> 00:12:44,600
I'm not really looking for a
relationship at the moment, and then
there's the whole age-gap
thing...
246
00:12:44,640 --> 00:12:46,840
Well, I'm barely 30...4.
247
00:12:49,200 --> 00:12:51,160
You don't want a coffee, cup of tea?
248
00:12:51,200 --> 00:12:52,920
No, but...thanks.
249
00:12:56,560 --> 00:13:01,840
You know, because of your book,
I thought you'd be different.
250
00:13:01,880 --> 00:13:02,880
Sexually.
251
00:13:03,960 --> 00:13:05,880
Different how?
252
00:13:05,920 --> 00:13:07,840
I don't know, avant garde.
253
00:13:07,880 --> 00:13:10,200
It's not bad, it's just...
254
00:13:10,240 --> 00:13:11,720
..you don't fuck like you write.
255
00:13:12,720 --> 00:13:14,400
It's interesting.
256
00:13:14,440 --> 00:13:15,480
See you.
257
00:13:23,120 --> 00:13:24,120
LEILA: Hey.
258
00:13:25,280 --> 00:13:26,280
Hey.
259
00:13:32,560 --> 00:13:34,040
After you.
260
00:13:34,080 --> 00:13:35,760
Thank you.
261
00:13:35,800 --> 00:13:37,640
Absolutely nothing is changing.
262
00:13:37,680 --> 00:13:40,320
We're just taking a break from being
partners.
263
00:13:40,360 --> 00:13:42,320
We're...still business partners.
264
00:13:42,360 --> 00:13:44,120
Definitely.
265
00:13:44,160 --> 00:13:47,120
So, while we're not feeling so
compatible romantically,
266
00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:50,280
we're feeling incredibly compatible
professionally.
267
00:13:52,200 --> 00:13:54,360
Right, so has anybody got any
questions?
268
00:13:57,440 --> 00:13:59,680
Mommy and Daddy love you very much.
269
00:14:03,880 --> 00:14:05,200
Hello?
270
00:14:05,240 --> 00:14:06,280
Hello, is this thing on?
271
00:14:06,320 --> 00:14:08,760
Guys, look what I found.
272
00:14:08,800 --> 00:14:11,760
"Our love fuels the work."
273
00:14:11,800 --> 00:14:13,280
Right, I'm done here.
274
00:14:18,560 --> 00:14:22,360
Hye Me, could you check in on her
later and just make sure she's OK?
275
00:14:22,400 --> 00:14:23,400
Of course.
276
00:14:23,440 --> 00:14:24,520
Thanks.
277
00:14:27,480 --> 00:14:28,920
DOOR CLOSES
278
00:14:31,160 --> 00:14:32,600
Your hair is different.
279
00:14:32,640 --> 00:14:34,040
Yeah, you like it?
280
00:14:34,080 --> 00:14:37,080
It's really painful, but I think it
works.
281
00:14:38,960 --> 00:14:40,720
Yeah, it's...it's trendy.
282
00:14:42,200 --> 00:14:43,680
Thanks.
283
00:14:47,080 --> 00:14:49,520
You want to play Assassin's Creed?
284
00:14:49,560 --> 00:14:51,440
My friend John Chris leaves his
console here
285
00:14:51,480 --> 00:14:53,480
because he's an addictive
personality.
286
00:14:53,520 --> 00:14:56,560
Thanks, but I have to go to
Aphrodite, I promised my friends
287
00:14:56,600 --> 00:14:57,920
I'd meet them there.
288
00:14:57,960 --> 00:15:00,840
You're welcome to come, but it's
going to be all lesbians.
289
00:15:02,840 --> 00:15:05,040
Where is this place? Dalston.
290
00:15:05,080 --> 00:15:06,560
Cool, cool, cool.
291
00:15:08,600 --> 00:15:10,120
I'll be the only guy there?
292
00:15:10,160 --> 00:15:12,000
Only straight guy.
293
00:15:12,040 --> 00:15:13,040
I guess.
294
00:15:13,080 --> 00:15:15,040
OK, yeah, it sounds interesting.
295
00:15:15,080 --> 00:15:16,840
Erm, they won't be offended if
I'm...?
296
00:15:16,880 --> 00:15:19,000
Dude, shit or get off the pot.
297
00:15:22,520 --> 00:15:25,240
So you got laid last night.
298
00:15:25,280 --> 00:15:26,840
Shit, were we loud?
299
00:15:26,880 --> 00:15:29,640
Yeah, it's really hard to jerk
off when you're in my ear.
300
00:15:31,600 --> 00:15:34,120
OK... I'm sorry, does that make
you uncomfortable?
301
00:15:34,160 --> 00:15:36,240
When I talk about masturbation?
No, no, not at all.
302
00:15:36,280 --> 00:15:39,880
No, now you can, like, picture in
your head and it's distracting?
303
00:15:39,920 --> 00:15:40,960
Yeah, just a bit.
304
00:15:41,000 --> 00:15:43,080
OK, now you know how I feel when I'm
trying to jerk off
305
00:15:43,120 --> 00:15:46,040
and your girlfriend's putting on a
show.
306
00:15:46,080 --> 00:15:47,240
This is it.
307
00:15:48,760 --> 00:15:50,440
She's not my girlfriend.
308
00:15:50,480 --> 00:15:54,680
I was actually trying to break it
off but, you know, it got confusing.
309
00:15:54,720 --> 00:15:57,680
I said, "Look, you're amazing, and
in a different world
310
00:15:57,720 --> 00:15:59,560
"I could see us sharing a life
but..."
311
00:15:59,600 --> 00:16:00,920
Why would you say that?
312
00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:02,160
I was being polite.
313
00:16:02,200 --> 00:16:04,040
By saying you want to share a life
together?
314
00:16:04,080 --> 00:16:06,680
In a different world, like, you
know, "You are worthy of love
315
00:16:06,720 --> 00:16:10,720
"and companionship with someone LIKE
me but not..."
316
00:16:10,760 --> 00:16:12,480
That is not at all what that means!
317
00:16:12,520 --> 00:16:16,640
Anyway, she flipped it - so suddenly
she's dumping me, and it's a mess,
318
00:16:16,680 --> 00:16:19,440
because her take on colonial
deconstruction was derivative,
319
00:16:19,480 --> 00:16:22,160
and now it looks like I'm lowering
her mark because she rejected me,
320
00:16:22,200 --> 00:16:24,000
when really, I was trying to reject
her.
321
00:16:24,040 --> 00:16:25,640
She's your student?
322
00:16:25,680 --> 00:16:27,440
Oh, it's a temporary job.
323
00:16:27,480 --> 00:16:29,320
I'm more a novelist than her
teacher.
324
00:16:29,360 --> 00:16:32,240
Salman Rushdie's over 70 - he only
dates models in their 20s.
325
00:16:32,280 --> 00:16:35,160
Yeah, I wouldn't use Salman Rushdie
as a fucking role model.
326
00:16:35,200 --> 00:16:36,720
Oh, fair enough.
327
00:16:36,760 --> 00:16:38,560
Should I be wearing my glasses,
do you think?
328
00:16:38,600 --> 00:16:40,400
Can you see without your glasses?
329
00:16:40,440 --> 00:16:42,280
I can see you up close, but I can't
see far away,
330
00:16:42,320 --> 00:16:44,880
I mean, I think I look better, but
they leave these weird indents
331
00:16:44,920 --> 00:16:47,640
on my nose, so I think I might leave
them on. OK, leave them on.
332
00:16:47,680 --> 00:16:50,120
What about my cardigan?
Cardigan's fine.
333
00:16:52,000 --> 00:16:53,680
Oh, nice hair!
334
00:16:53,720 --> 00:16:56,240
What? No, shut up.
335
00:16:56,280 --> 00:16:57,800
It's hot.
336
00:16:57,840 --> 00:16:59,120
You are!
337
00:16:59,160 --> 00:17:00,240
What?
338
00:17:00,280 --> 00:17:01,280
Nothing, bye.
339
00:17:10,400 --> 00:17:12,960
Am I sad? Yeah, I'm sad.
340
00:17:13,000 --> 00:17:15,840
Do I sometimes wake up in the middle
of the night thinking she's there
341
00:17:15,880 --> 00:17:18,640
and I reach out and she's not and
I'm completely alone in the world?
342
00:17:18,680 --> 00:17:19,920
Yeah, of course.
343
00:17:19,960 --> 00:17:23,640
But I genuinely think
that we need to take this space
344
00:17:23,680 --> 00:17:25,600
before we can move forward.
345
00:17:26,600 --> 00:17:28,240
What did you do to your hair?
346
00:17:28,280 --> 00:17:29,760
Do you not like it?
347
00:17:30,800 --> 00:17:32,120
No, it's lovely.
348
00:17:32,160 --> 00:17:33,960
Thank you.
349
00:17:34,000 --> 00:17:35,200
So what are people's thoughts
350
00:17:35,240 --> 00:17:37,760
about the film
Blue Is The Warmest Colour?
351
00:17:37,800 --> 00:17:39,720
Do you think it's a fair
representation
352
00:17:39,760 --> 00:17:41,600
of lesbian women and their partners?
353
00:17:44,240 --> 00:17:46,080
Sadie's a fucking mess.
354
00:17:46,120 --> 00:17:48,280
I think she's spending
the weekend with her mum.
355
00:17:48,320 --> 00:17:50,400
That's not possible.
Grace drives her crazy.
356
00:17:50,440 --> 00:17:53,400
When the shit's hitting the fan,
it's a comfort to be with your mum,
357
00:17:53,440 --> 00:17:56,000
even if she is a twat.
Can we just drop it?
358
00:17:56,040 --> 00:17:57,960
Sadie will be fine, she always is.
359
00:17:58,000 --> 00:18:00,440
Sadie's the prettiest crier
I've ever seen.
360
00:18:00,480 --> 00:18:02,480
I've been crying, too.
361
00:18:02,520 --> 00:18:05,040
Did she cry when you guys broke up?
No, it was pretty mutual.
362
00:18:05,080 --> 00:18:06,360
We didn't break up.
363
00:18:06,400 --> 00:18:07,560
We're just taking some time.
364
00:18:07,600 --> 00:18:09,080
The craziest thing just happened.
365
00:18:09,120 --> 00:18:11,280
This can girl came up
and she was like, "Hi."
366
00:18:11,320 --> 00:18:13,800
And I was like, "Hi."
As she was like, "You're fit."
367
00:18:13,840 --> 00:18:15,440
And then she kissed me!
368
00:18:15,480 --> 00:18:16,920
A girl just kissed me!
369
00:18:16,960 --> 00:18:18,480
Oh, my God, you two!
370
00:18:18,520 --> 00:18:21,920
You're so beautiful
and both so Irish.
371
00:18:21,960 --> 00:18:23,280
Can you, like, kiss for me?
372
00:18:23,320 --> 00:18:26,600
OK, drunkie, let's go. Aw...
373
00:18:26,640 --> 00:18:29,000
Bye! Bye, friends!
374
00:18:29,040 --> 00:18:30,680
Always with the straight girls.
375
00:18:30,720 --> 00:18:33,800
It's like Beth thinks her pussy
is a gateway drug to lesbianism.
376
00:18:33,840 --> 00:18:36,480
I hate the show and it should never
be used as a point of reference
377
00:18:36,520 --> 00:18:38,360
for anything, but... But.
378
00:18:38,400 --> 00:18:40,560
..Beth's a Dana and she's
trying to be a Shane.
379
00:18:40,600 --> 00:18:41,920
That is so true.
380
00:18:41,960 --> 00:18:44,280
Sorry, what are you talking about?
The L Word.
381
00:18:44,320 --> 00:18:45,680
Yeah, and just because one person
382
00:18:45,720 --> 00:18:48,360
made one fucking L Word reference
tonight, doesn't mean
383
00:18:48,400 --> 00:18:51,200
you get to go back to all your
friends and say that all lesbians do
384
00:18:51,240 --> 00:18:53,200
is talk about The L Word.
Jesus Christ!
385
00:18:53,240 --> 00:18:56,240
OK, she's in a cab.
386
00:18:56,280 --> 00:18:59,160
It would have been really weird
if I took her home, right?
387
00:18:59,200 --> 00:19:01,520
You have to stop
with the straight girls.
388
00:19:01,560 --> 00:19:03,680
I think she's bisexual.
389
00:19:03,720 --> 00:19:06,240
Sex tourist. All the girls you
date are sex tourists.
390
00:19:06,280 --> 00:19:08,840
Does anyone know an actual bisexual?
391
00:19:11,680 --> 00:19:14,920
I'm pretty sure
bisexuality is a myth.
392
00:19:14,960 --> 00:19:17,800
Yeah, that it was created by ad
executives to sell flavoured vodka.
393
00:19:17,840 --> 00:19:20,440
I think the girl I'm dating
might be bisexual.
394
00:19:20,480 --> 00:19:23,160
Yeah? The girl I was talking about?
395
00:19:23,200 --> 00:19:25,840
She and her friend get intimate.
396
00:19:25,880 --> 00:19:28,120
When they're out drinking
with a group of people,
397
00:19:28,160 --> 00:19:29,680
or when they're alone and sober?
398
00:19:29,720 --> 00:19:30,720
Out drinking.
399
00:19:33,200 --> 00:19:35,640
She's perfect for Beth.
400
00:19:35,680 --> 00:19:38,440
MUSIC IN CLUB: Fake ID
by Riton & Kah-Lo
401
00:19:49,040 --> 00:19:51,400
I'm upset about you and Sadie.
402
00:19:51,440 --> 00:19:52,920
I know it's none of my business,
403
00:19:52,960 --> 00:19:56,040
but I think you're making
a huge mistake. OK.
404
00:19:56,080 --> 00:19:58,480
Why did you say no when
she asked you to marry her?
405
00:20:01,280 --> 00:20:03,240
That's none of your business.
406
00:20:03,280 --> 00:20:05,120
I'm sorry.
407
00:20:05,160 --> 00:20:08,240
You're right, I'm protective of her.
I know.
408
00:20:08,280 --> 00:20:11,080
Because we used to be together.
Yeah, sure, I know.
409
00:20:11,120 --> 00:20:13,400
If you don't want her,
you need to let her go.
410
00:20:13,440 --> 00:20:14,800
It's cruel to drag it out.
411
00:20:14,840 --> 00:20:16,400
I need a piss. What?
412
00:20:16,440 --> 00:20:18,000
Piss! Oh, OK.
413
00:20:22,360 --> 00:20:24,440
Hey, are you having a bad time?
414
00:20:24,480 --> 00:20:26,240
Your friends hate me.
415
00:20:26,280 --> 00:20:27,360
No, don't mind them.
416
00:20:27,400 --> 00:20:29,960
They just get tunnel vision
when they're all together.
417
00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:32,280
Don't take it personally.
Really, it's not personal.
418
00:20:32,320 --> 00:20:34,760
I mean, they just don't like men.
419
00:20:34,800 --> 00:20:36,480
Are you fucking kidding me?
420
00:20:36,520 --> 00:20:38,640
You know, you were dying to go out
with lesbians
421
00:20:38,680 --> 00:20:41,400
and the minute we don't match up to
your wet dream fantasy,
422
00:20:41,440 --> 00:20:43,760
we all become man-hating dykes?
423
00:20:43,800 --> 00:20:45,640
Should I go?
424
00:20:45,680 --> 00:20:47,840
I don't know.
Do what ever the fuck you want.
425
00:20:57,720 --> 00:20:59,920
You and your boyfriend have a row?
426
00:20:59,960 --> 00:21:01,520
He's not my boyfriend.
427
00:21:11,040 --> 00:21:12,240
Ow.
428
00:21:12,280 --> 00:21:13,880
Sorry, sorry. I'm sorry.
429
00:21:13,920 --> 00:21:17,240
I'm not really sure
how to do it with my hands.
430
00:21:17,280 --> 00:21:20,080
But I'm going to just
go ahead and use my mouth.
431
00:21:20,120 --> 00:21:21,760
No, no, it's OK,
you don't have to do that.
432
00:21:21,800 --> 00:21:24,120
No, it's cool. I'm going to go
ahead, stick it in my mouth.
433
00:21:24,160 --> 00:21:26,120
Yeah, I think we should
have a breather.
434
00:21:33,200 --> 00:21:36,920
I find you incredibly
hot and I want you to fuck me.
435
00:21:36,960 --> 00:21:37,960
Now.
436
00:21:58,680 --> 00:22:00,120
I'm going to get a condom. OK.
437
00:22:14,320 --> 00:22:17,080
It's so funny, I've never seen one
of these in real life.
438
00:22:20,760 --> 00:22:21,760
What?
439
00:22:26,360 --> 00:22:27,360
Um...
440
00:22:28,720 --> 00:22:32,200
So, full disclosure,
I have not done this before.
441
00:22:34,240 --> 00:22:35,360
You're a virgin?
442
00:22:37,000 --> 00:22:38,000
No...
443
00:22:39,040 --> 00:22:41,480
I've only had sex with women.
444
00:22:45,040 --> 00:22:46,040
Wow.
445
00:22:47,640 --> 00:22:48,640
Uh...
446
00:22:59,680 --> 00:23:01,080
Are you OK?
447
00:23:01,120 --> 00:23:03,760
Yeah, I'm good. Yeah?
Are you sure? Yeah, I'm sure.
448
00:23:11,400 --> 00:23:12,600
What was it about me that...
449
00:23:14,880 --> 00:23:18,000
..that made you think that I'd be
the right person to do this with?
450
00:23:19,960 --> 00:23:21,360
Am I like a lesbian?
451
00:23:23,760 --> 00:23:27,240
Well, the fact that you keep trying
to talk while I'm trying to fuck you
452
00:23:27,280 --> 00:23:29,440
does strike me as a dyke move.
453
00:23:42,520 --> 00:23:45,760
God, I've wanked to this situation
so many times in my head.
454
00:23:48,800 --> 00:23:51,720
It's just not really
what I thought it would be like.
455
00:23:57,240 --> 00:23:58,520
Maybe I should go?
456
00:24:00,160 --> 00:24:01,800
OK.
457
00:24:01,840 --> 00:24:04,640
"No, stay..." What?
458
00:24:04,680 --> 00:24:05,680
Nothing.
459
00:24:41,240 --> 00:24:42,520
Leila? Yeah?
460
00:24:44,560 --> 00:24:45,880
Could you pass my charger?
461
00:24:54,480 --> 00:24:55,480
Cheers.
462
00:25:08,560 --> 00:25:09,960
Holy shit, it's you!
463
00:25:10,000 --> 00:25:11,000
Hey.
464
00:25:12,440 --> 00:25:14,760
This is how I know you.
465
00:25:14,800 --> 00:25:16,920
Did you know how I knew you?
466
00:25:16,960 --> 00:25:19,600
I can't believe you work here.
I mean, it's so... Working-class?
467
00:25:19,640 --> 00:25:21,040
I was going to say random.
468
00:25:21,080 --> 00:25:23,280
OLDER WOMAN SHOUTS THROUGH
IN OWN LANGUAGE:
469
00:25:27,000 --> 00:25:28,720
PHONE RINGS
470
00:25:29,800 --> 00:25:32,040
Leila?
I'm going to propose to Sadie.
471
00:25:32,080 --> 00:25:34,720
Come to the shop.
I'm on my way to her flat right now.
472
00:25:34,760 --> 00:25:36,840
I'm going to fill it with streamers
and balloons
473
00:25:36,880 --> 00:25:38,880
and all kinds of stupid shit and
surprise her
474
00:25:38,920 --> 00:25:40,440
when she gets back from her mom's.
475
00:25:40,480 --> 00:25:42,360
All right, I love you, bye.
476
00:25:42,400 --> 00:25:43,640
Fuck! What is it?
477
00:25:47,800 --> 00:25:50,000
Is she OK? Can you drive?
478
00:25:50,040 --> 00:25:51,040
Not well.
479
00:25:52,400 --> 00:25:54,200
I may be drunk.
480
00:25:54,240 --> 00:25:56,760
MUSIC: Queen
by Perfume Genius
481
00:26:10,160 --> 00:26:12,280
Don't do it!
482
00:26:12,320 --> 00:26:13,320
Yeah!
483
00:26:14,520 --> 00:26:16,040
What the fuck?
484
00:26:16,080 --> 00:26:18,080
Don't do this. Why not?
485
00:26:19,200 --> 00:26:22,520
Be honest, do you think
I made a mistake?
486
00:26:22,560 --> 00:26:23,960
The fuck do I know?
487
00:26:35,640 --> 00:26:37,000
Shouldn't be here.
488
00:26:39,040 --> 00:26:40,040
Nice place.
489
00:27:07,520 --> 00:27:08,880
UNDER HIS BREATH: Jesus!
490
00:27:15,640 --> 00:27:17,120
Please don't stab them.
491
00:27:29,840 --> 00:27:30,840
Let's go.
492
00:27:42,320 --> 00:27:43,520
Leila.
493
00:27:45,560 --> 00:27:46,560
Fuck.
494
00:27:59,160 --> 00:28:00,640
I'm sorry I upset you earlier.
495
00:28:03,080 --> 00:28:04,720
It's OK, I was being an ass.
496
00:28:09,040 --> 00:28:10,120
Why DID you leave her?
497
00:28:15,880 --> 00:28:20,520
There's something really terrifying
about her being so sure.
498
00:28:20,560 --> 00:28:21,600
And you're not?
499
00:28:22,600 --> 00:28:24,040
Yeah.
500
00:28:25,440 --> 00:28:27,720
I wonder if there's
something better out there.
501
00:28:27,760 --> 00:28:29,240
Not even better, just like...
502
00:28:35,000 --> 00:28:36,640
I can't believe she fucked Hye Me.
503
00:28:39,160 --> 00:28:42,000
And I can't believe I spit gum
in a black girl's hair.
504
00:28:44,200 --> 00:28:46,960
It was an accident
and I'm going to hell.
505
00:28:50,520 --> 00:28:52,240
You're more attractive than she is.
506
00:28:52,280 --> 00:28:53,520
Which one?
507
00:28:56,960 --> 00:28:57,960
Both?
508
00:28:59,840 --> 00:29:00,840
Thank you.
36869
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