Original subtitles

Previously on "You"...

I love our little routine.

Always the same, but never stale.

Your father was never consistent,

and you're still healing from that with my help.

And guess what.

Now that I've made our morning sacred,

you're actually writing.

One day, I'll tell you about Candace.

She broke my heart.

But you are good.

You make cheating a distant memory.

Peach is taking you out of town.

I need to save you.

License and registration.

Sorry, Spencer Hewitt.

Dispatch to Nico,

car's registered to an Ivan Mooney.

Kicked Ron out.

You're right, people don't change.

Peach has it out for me.

If I just keep being the perfect boyfriend,

you'll realize that life is so much healthier

away from this toxicity.

You have issues, okay?

Don't make your desperate,

unending need for attention about me.

It's freeing in a way to know for certain

what I have to do to protect you.

- Anyone here? - I would do anything for you.

I'm not a bad person.

She was going to ruin you.

You're safe now, next to me.

That first perfect month...

we'd been to hell and back, we'd done the hard work,

and we were closer than ever, >we were living the dream.

Couldn't keep our hands off each other,

couldn't keep anything off each other.

I was ready to wait it out during the grief period,

no matter what that looked like.

But it only brought us closer together.

That month after the funeral was...

it was intimate.

Real.

Just made us more.

No doubt, awash with champagne...

But then, over the next few weeks...

Something happened.

Falafel.

Couldn't tell you the exact moment

things went wrong between us.

But, uh,

wrong they have gone.

So that's why you're here in therapy, to...

find out why your relationship went south?

Oh, it didn't just go south.

It's over.

And I wanna know why.

Listen, here's the deal.

Don't think of this as an office or me as a shrink.

We're just two dudes, you know, shooting the shit.

Why don't we start...

When things were good with you two?

Hmm, my first kiss? Good question.

I was 14, and I was going out

with this, um, boy Matt.

You know, we told each other all the good stuff.

He was so sweet, and we went to see, um,

"Hitch" together...

And I was waiting for him to make the move.

Waiting... so, what, that was your first kiss?

No, it was two nights later on a school camping trip,

in a tent in the rain,

with his best friend, Chad.

- Oh, Chad. - I know.

- Chad. - I know.

I mean, but Chad, he just... he went for it,

and I've always had trouble with that kind of thing,

the whole good guy versus bad boy bit.

Don't look at me that way.

Trust me, I wish I could have a redo.

I still feel like a hootsie for it.

A hootsie?

That should totally be a word.

No real words?

Only fake ones.

- Punklassical. - Photobomb.

Ravey. , We connected on every level.

It doesn't get any better.

Everythingship.

I love that.

It's like our word.

Everythingship.

And now...

A meeting of the minds,

bodies, and souls.

Okay, Beck, ready?

Wha...

It can't be.

Are we redoing my first kiss?

We're redoing your first kiss.

Wow.

I'm finally gonna kiss the right guy.

It was an everythingship, it really was.

We were in a really healthy place.

I mean, I'd even stopped

relying on the, you know, like, these certain crutches.

- Crutches? - Yeah.

Checking social media,

sneaking a peek at a locked screen and...

it was time to stop 'cause we were real.

- I just needed to... - Trust?

Sure.

I'll see you after work.

Yeah, about that.

I may have gotten fired from the yoga studio.

- May have? - Oh...

I got fired.

Apparently I fell asleep leading Savasana.

It's fine. I can find another job.

- I can... - Come work at Mooney's.

I know, I know. Big step.

Joe.

Come on, it's perfect.

Flexible hours, you have time to write.

I wanna help.

I can't ask that of you.

Well, you're not asking, I'm offering.

But big steps feel right in an everythingship.

Yeah, yeah, I get that.

Oh, don't worry about this.

I'm in early stages of asymptomatic glaucoma,

so I got a prescription.

I swear, this makes me such a better listener.

They should do a study.

So what happened next?

Ooh, hey, Ethan?

Do you mind taking a picture of us?

Uh, I'm sorry,

I think I just need to sit down.

I, um, pre-gamed the new Safran Foer

by reading "Eating Animals,"

and I'm test driving veganism now,

and I'm just feeling a little faint.

Oh.

Of course.

You two are absolutely adorable,

and I am a lonely vegan island.

Someone needs a burger.

Or somewhere to put his meat.

- Oh. - Okay, that was bad.

I meant it sympathetically.

We have a hashtag now?

- Too much? - It's perfect.

What happened next was we were doing great.

It was safe to open up about the very hardest things.

You know, uh,

Peach went on a date with JSF in high school.

I thought that grief was really the last frontier.

Apparently, he ate pork belly.

Very scandalous.

And Peach always said th...

um...

You can talk about her, you know.

Yeah, I know.

You haven't mentioned her since the funeral.

It's been over a month.

And we were at that frontier together.

Actually, I think I...

I'd rather save it for therapy, if that's okay.

Therapy?

Except, it turns out, we weren't.

Yeah, I... I used to go about a year ago,

but I stopped, but then after Peach,

I thought it was worth it

to go for a bit.

I mean, honestly, Dr. Nicky's been really helpful

dealing with my grief.

I think we need more stars.

- They're in your office, right? - Yeah.

Don't get me wrong...

There's nothing wrong with going to therapy,

it's just, it's a bit troubling

when your partner hides something from you.

Don't you agree, Dr. Nicky?

I hear you, Paul.

Not cool.

Forgive me, Beck, but for the purposes

of this session with your therapist,

you are Renaldo...

Tall, dark, and man-bunned backup dancer for Beyoncé,

and I, Paul, well, I manage a bar.

Every asshole in this city

has the same not-so-special problems.

It won't be hard to hide who I am.

You two seem pretty copacetic,

sort of, uh...

things were Ross and Rachel with you and Renaldo.

Yeah.

I guess they... they were,

until they weren't.

See, I thought I'd eliminated all

the obstacles between us... Beck, Benji, Peach...

but now another has reared its head,

and he's sitting right in front of me.

All right, Paul, let's keep digging into this.

All right, tell me, when did you see

the first cracks with Renaldo?

Well, having Renaldo at work was amazing,

but it did force me to confront some slightly

careless aspects of his personality.

I tried to cut him some slack...

you know, new job... and somewhere in there,

he's still grieving, right?

Hey.

- We need to talk. - About what?

Look, this is uncomfortable, she's your girlfriend,

and lord knows I'm not one to criticize,

but Becky's terrible, Joe.

Okay? She's always late, she leaves the register open,

she doesn't know how to organize by genre.

Just this morning, she chewed out

a 14-year-old for buying "American Tragedy" for school

because she hates Dreiser.

Everyone hates Dreiser.

But this is a bookstore, okay? We're trying to sell books.

And I hear you, buddy.

You're caught up hard in the Tilt-A-Whirl of punani,

and that is something I struggle with every day.

But here's the thing, brother.

Shitting where you eat just leads to confusion

and E. coli.

So I'm gonna let you ruminate on that for a little bit.

Yeah, well, we were a little imperfect.

But I still thought we were in great shape,

if that was the worst of our problems.

Mooney's, rare and used.

This is Officer Nico, Greenwich Sheriff's Department.

I'm looking for a Mr. Ivan Mooney.

Speaking.

Calling about a Buick registered to your name.

Yeah, I gave that car to my nephew, Spencer.

Is he in trouble?

No.

I was just calling about a little fender bender he had.

It was nothing. Have a nice day.

That was too close.

I just saw my job as keeping the outside world away

so Renaldo could heal.

Hey, Ethan said you were late again today.

Yeah, I know. Sorry.

It was hard to find a line between boss and boyfriend,

between supporting and enabling.

But you did say the hours were flexible

and that I'd have time to write.

I did, but you haven't been writing.

Thinking about writing is a part of the process.

Okay, that sounded like bullshit,

even as I said it.

I'm sorry.

The truth is...

I've been having really vivid dreams about Peach.

I'm sorry about that.

It's not your fault, it's just...

her face, it's... fading,

and I didn't think that would happen so fast.

But she comes at night, so,

now I am too tired to write and falling behind at school,

and now I'm failing you by being bad at this job.

I couldn't tell if I was helping; I thought I was.

It's pathetic... the only good thing

in my life right now is therapy.

That's the only good thing?

Joe, don't be like that.

Or I was totally wrong, and there were

dark forces at work I wasn't privy to.

Claudia!

There are people who are thoroughly delusional

about their relationship. Claudia!

Get your scrub ass out of here, Ron.

Karen, stop being a meddling bitch

and tell me where Claudia is.

For example, my neighbor's alcoholic boyfriend

literally has to be chased away with a baseball bat.

This isn't over, Karen.

Can't hide forever, Claudia!

Do I know you?

No.

You don't know me at all?

- No. - Then what are you staring at?

But we were different...

I thought.

Sounds like working with Renaldo at the bar

wasn't such a hot idea, huh?

I mean, sure, it was difficult to navigate at times.

But it had its good parts.

Beck?

Beck?

Hi.

Hi, what is this?

I thought we could use a...

a little date night.

Meatball subs, your favorite.

Well, what do you think?

I think one errant candle

could destroy an entire collection of rare books,

but...

you are worth it.

I feel bad for girls who don't eat.

It always made me sad with Peach.

What?

You're talking about Peach.

It's good.

Yeah.

I guess so.

You know, I, uh,

I had this Little Mermaid sleeping bag when I was a kid.

God, I loved that thing.

But then it started to smell bad,

like, fungus-bad.

I couldn't bring myself to get rid of it, though.

- It was like... - A security blanket.

Exactly.

But then I lost it,

and even though I was sad,

I was kinda relieved because I didn't...

I didn't actually have to get rid of it.

And it's... it's the same with Peach.

There is a part of me...

oh, God, it sounds terrible.

Not that I'm comparing Peach to a cheap, nylon sleeping bag,

I, uh...

This metaphor made a lot more sense

when I came to it with Dr. Nicky.

I think all this Peach stuff is coming up

because of my birthday.

December 3rd.

You remembered?

Of course.

Anyway,

Peach made such a big deal about birthdays.

And she always made sure I felt super special

and would plan the whole thing, and...

now I don't...

I'll handle it.

- No, Joe... - No, what do you want?

A night at the Met? A tasting menu at Momofuku?

Hell, I'll even sing karaoke with Annika and Lynn.

That's sweet, that's really...

Really sweet.

But I...

I think I'd rather keep it low-key and small.

No. No to small, no to low-key.

I don't know, Lynn, Beck was pretty emphatic.

Dude, Beck's a Sagittarius. She craves attention.

This is a test, okay? Part of the fun

is making a guy think that you don't want something

and seeing if he still comes through.

No, Beck's not like that.

Let me give you a little lesson on Beck.

Every year she wants to "keep it simple,"

and every year, whatever guy that she's dating

royally blows it, and Peach swoops in on her Manolos

and throws Beck a party for the ages.

Only now, no Peach.

God rest her beautiful soul.

So you're saying throw a party?

I'll help.

I need a distraction.

And I think because I was anxious about this,

my judgment was a little off.

If I bury my sorrows in anymore booze and boys,

I'm gonna get syphilis again.

And Annika is still at Esalen on her grief retreat so...

But she didn't like Peach.

None of us liked Peach.

But we loved her.

Losing a friend is super complicated, Joe.

I need this.

Beck needs it.

Which is why I was stupid enough

to think Renaldo's friends should be listened to, ever.

It'll just be some friends,

some NYU people.

We'll make it a surprise party, hmm?

A book theme,

and everyone can come dressed

as their favorite literary character.

What do you say?

Put it to you this way.

Would you rather do something and be wrong

or nothing and be wrong?

Surprise party.

Hmm, I thought it would cheer him up

after the death of...

his beloved shih tzu.

Get his mind off of things.

And?

Did it?

No, it was the beginning of the end.

Because you threw him a surprise party?

No, no, because that's when I realized

he was cheating on me with his therapist.

Oh, shit, you scared me.

What's all this?

Uh, oh, it's my girlfriend's birthday.

Throwing her a little... well, it's not so little.

It's, um, it's a surprise party.

Kind of a literary theme.

Thus...

I'm going as Ernest Hemingway.

"The Old Man and the Sea," "The Sun Also"...

I know who Hemingway is.

Nice cake.

She's lucky to have a man who cares.

Bacon-wrapped date? Bacon-wrapped date?

Bacon-wrapped date?

Good call.

Bacon-wrapped date?

It's 9:40.

Beck was supposed to be here at 9:00 to meet for dinner.

She'll be here, relax.

You know what you need, my friend, is a drink.

Hey, get this man a Catcher in the Rye.

- No, no, no, it's fine. - She's here.

Everyone hide. Places, people.

Hide!

Surprise!

How American.

Who is that?

That's one of Beck's school friends,

I think, I don't know.

I'm texting her.

_

What?

Rude to stare, especially in Asian cultures.

Mr. Darcy, I take it?

- Indeed. - Predictable.

Says Elizabeth Bennet.

Ugh, god, no. Dorothea Brooke.

"Middlemarch"?

Named my shelter cat after George Eliot.

I love her.

- The cat or the author? - Both.

Meow.

Hi, hey, I'm sorry, I'm sorry,

can we chat for a second?

Oh, Joe, Joe, this is Constantine.

He lives in Bushwick.

That's fine. Where the hell is Beck?

Do you wanna touch his moustache?

No, no, no, Lynn, no, Lynn.

I don't wanna touch his moustache.

- Joe. - I don't get it.

I've tried to be the perfect boyfriend.

I've bent over backwards. I gave her a job.

I threw her this party.

- What else can I do? - People are puzzling.

Peach committed suicide,

and she's the strongest person I know... knew.

Beck isn't just puzzling, she's impossible.

Like, where is she right now?

It's selfish.

It's rude, but it's Beck...

- Joe. - And tha...

Oh, shit.

Hi... hey!

Can I speak to you for a sec?

Joe, this is not what I asked for.

I said quiet, and I said small.

Lynn said...

Oh, now you're listening to Lynn?

In retrospect, a misfire.

Why are you wearing a turtleneck?

I'm Hemingway... again, misfire.

Look, I appreciate the gesture,

I just... I can't be at a party

and pretend that everything is okay without Peach.

I am not a robot.

Well, what about the other day,

the relief you talked about?

Grief isn't a straight line, Joe.

I know, you've just been hard to read lately.

What is that supposed to mean?

Where were you?

- Sorry? - Beck, I called.

- I texted you. - Yeah, I know.

I just... my, um...

my therapy session ran long.

Dr. Nicky and I were really making some headway.

And then I guess I just... I went for a walk, and...

You guess?

- Therapy and a walk? - Yes.

Then why do you smell like three glasses of rosé?

Because I sat down at some stupid bar with my journal

trying to work through shit, Joe, that's it.

Okay so, then, why didn't you call me?

I forgot.

But it's your birthday, Beck, we made dinner plans.

Well, I... I just...

I lost track of time.

Beck, just tell me.

Just tell me.

Tell me the truth,

and we can get through anything.

Okay, well, if you can't tell me,

then show me, show me your phone.

Are... are you serious right now?

You said yourself, you have a hard time with good guys.

What are you talking about?

The hootsie stuff.

Okay, I'm... okay, fine.

You wanna see my phone?

Have at it.

But if you do this, it means there is

absolutely no trust between us,

and if we don't have trust, we have nothing.

Do you trust me?

You know what, I can't...

I can't do this right now.

Happy birthday to me.

With his therapist?

You sure? That's a pretty heavy accusation.

How do you know?

Experience.

Candace.

There are certain tells you can just...

you can see it in their eyes when they look at you.

Been cheated on before?

In my last relationship.

I was blind, I only saw what I wanted to see,

but I didn't make that mistake again.

This time, I made sure...

that Renaldo was different.

So I knew if he was lying or cheating,

someone was using him.

Look, I'm not... I'm not one of those shrinks

that are obsessed with the past,

but I think in this case, we should take a look.

Why don't you tell me about your childhood?

Look, I mean, but we're not here to talk about my childhood, right?

We're talking about my relationship.

Which ended because... a surprise party?

No, that's not when it ended.

I brought you a donut.

It's glazed.

Wait, wait, hold up, hold up.

So you're just back together

regardless of your suspicions?

Eh, didn't matter.

That was the past.

All right, so what happened next?

Things were good at first.

But then it started to feel like something was different.

I feel like I'm hungrier than sushi.

- Okay, pizza? - Too saucy.

Okay, Thai?

We had Thai for lunch.

Why do I always have to pick?

It's okay.

I'll choose.

You're a snob, Connor.

It's a horrible feeling to know things have gone wrong

and there's nothing you can do to change it.

George, I'm going to.

Mm, falafel.

You know something or someone has come between you,

but I had to be sure.

I'll see you after class, okay?

Okay, bye.

_

Heart, heart, heart.

I wanted to be wrong.

I never wanted to be wrong so badly

in my life.

I was begging to be proven wrong.

_

But it was looking like I was right.

You trust someone,

you give them your heart,

and what do they do?

Is there even a punishment that fits

the crime of lying, of manipulating like this,

of breaking someone's heart?

I guess I'm bad at picking good people,

but I'm good at catching bad people red-handed.

Are you following me?

Answer me right now. Were you following me?

No, no, no. I was in the neighborhood.

And then I... I saw you.

God, stop lying.

You know, just tell me why. Why, Joe?

It's the being late,

the secret texts.

You've been different, Beck.

You're being crazy.

Are you sleeping with him?

Who?

Your therapist.

Oh, my God.

Are you? I need to know. I want to know.

No! I am not sleeping with him.

Who's the fox?

What?

The fox. The fox, Beck!

My friend, Emma Fox, from Brown.

But I guess that wasn't readily apparent

on the text from my phone, huh?

- Beck... - Just don't.

Joe, I told you.

If we don't have trust, we have nothing.

I know, I know, I'm sorry.

Me too.

You and I are over.

And that...

that's when it ended.

That's one hell of a story.

What's your diagnosis?

My diagnosis?

Yeah, yeah, what do you make of it all?

Well, you might think I'm crazy

'cause I've only known you 48 minutes, but...

I think there's two of you...

two Paul Browns.

One has been hurt in the past.

You feel betrayed and hopeless.

But the other one has faith,

and in spite of the evidence to the contrary,

he believes true love exists.

And that is someone I think I can help.

Our time is up now, but I...

I would, uh, sure be down to seeing you again if you'd like.

I don't think so.

Everything I do, I do to protect you, Beck.

Peach, Benji... they left me no choice.

They were dangerous.

I think you might be in danger again.

But I need absolute proof first.

And these days,

the quickest way to a man's truth

is through his computer.

And if I find what I'm looking for,

Dr. Nicky will be handled.

I mean, he followed me.

That's just... it's not okay.

I get it, you feel violated.

Pretend I'm Joe.

What would you say to him right now?

The more you want me, the less I want you.

I know, it's messed up, but it's true.

Of course you think I'm hiding shit.

I am...

hiding what a complete, ugly mess I am.

Behind this, like, cute,

acceptable version of being a mess, it's insane.

I haven't dealt with this shit

that went on with me and Peach,

or my dad, or Benji.

And instead of putting it into my writing,

I'm hibernating with you.

And I resent you for it.

I need space to heal,

but every time I turn around, you're standing there,

ready to make it all okay.

But only I can do that.

And if you really love me,

you'll see that.

You'll let me go.

Are you afraid you might be pushing away

a good thing, Beck?

Do you think Joe might be good for you?

Maybe.

But it's what I need.

That doesn't sound like an illicit affair.

That sounds like

a messed-up girl in a crisis

and a pretty decent therapist she's lucky to have.

It also sounds like

you were right to end it with me.

I was wrong about all of it.

The only thing I wasn't wrong about

was loving you.

So, I'm letting you go.

Hey.

Hi.

Thanks for opening the door,

all things considered.

Uh, look, there are a million things

I could say right now,

but all that matters is, I'm sorry.

Thank you.

Jealousy got the best of me.

And I, uh, I was... I was threatened

that you needed someone to talk to who wasn't me.

And I know you deserve that.

You deserve to figure your stuff out.

And if I was a smarter man,

maybe I wouldn't let you go, but, um,

I'm guessing that's what you need,

so I will.

Goodbye, Beck.

Goodbye, Joe.

Turns out, it is like the movies.

The second it's over, all you can remember

is the stuff that made you fall in love,

blazing through your mind,

this rom-com montage made of the sweetest poison.

Everythingship.

I love that.

I'd never felt this way before,

where you love the bad things about someone

as much as the good.

Maybe even a little more.

Love isn't a strong enough word.

Sometimes, it scares me

to love someone so completely

and not have them love you back.

I'm happy to see you here.

I didn't think you'd come back after our last session.

Well, that's the thing, I...

I don't understand it.

That's why I'm here.

- What don't you understand? - Love.

You and 7 billion other people on this planet.

If we understood love, I'd be out of a job.

I have to say it's sort of unique to everybody,

like a fingerprint, or a strand of DNA,

or the song you lost your virginity to.

"Hungry Like the Wolf."

Some people have a hard time letting love in.

Some people are built for love.

And some people are searching,

searching for someone who can love them

in the way that they deserve.

That's you.

You look like shit.

Thanks.

What happened?

My girlfriend dumped me, all right?

So if you don't mind...

Mm.

I love you, Joe.

Your face!

Oh, my God, I was just messing with you.

Oh...

Are you gonna leave Beck alone?

Or will she end up like me?