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1
00:00:04,548 --> 00:00:07,215
Hey, happy Halloween, Mrs. B.
2
00:00:07,250 --> 00:00:08,783
Thanks. I love this holiday.
3
00:00:08,819 --> 00:00:10,619
It is so spooky.
4
00:00:10,654 --> 00:00:13,421
Um, hey, could one of you
5
00:00:13,457 --> 00:00:16,291
grab my mug out of the microwave?
6
00:00:16,326 --> 00:00:19,194
Yeah. I'll get it.
7
00:00:19,229 --> 00:00:21,196
Kyle, you're gonna open the
door and whatever creature
8
00:00:21,231 --> 00:00:23,565
was on sale at Halloween
Town is gonna be in there.
9
00:00:23,600 --> 00:00:24,866
Probably a rat.
10
00:00:24,901 --> 00:00:26,768
What? No.
11
00:00:26,803 --> 00:00:28,637
Oh!
12
00:00:31,274 --> 00:00:32,974
Sorry.
13
00:00:33,010 --> 00:00:35,910
I was expecting a rat.
14
00:00:35,946 --> 00:00:38,747
I love you, Mom, but your
Halloween pranks are lame.
15
00:00:38,782 --> 00:00:41,616
Lame? There's a head in the microwave.
16
00:00:41,652 --> 00:00:44,786
Yeah, see? Some people
appreciate a good prank.
17
00:00:44,821 --> 00:00:46,421
Oh, well, Kyle's easy.
18
00:00:46,456 --> 00:00:48,757
Almost as easy as you.
You fall for everything.
19
00:00:48,792 --> 00:00:50,458
No, I don't. G-Give me one example.
20
00:00:50,494 --> 00:00:51,660
Boo!
21
00:00:53,697 --> 00:00:57,632
You know what? That is not
a prank, that is just rude.
22
00:00:57,668 --> 00:00:59,734
But stick around, this might be the year
23
00:00:59,770 --> 00:01:02,737
I pull off the greatest prank ever.
24
00:01:02,773 --> 00:01:05,273
Oh, we can't. We're
taking Kristin and Ryan
25
00:01:05,308 --> 00:01:08,176
to the creepy abandoned trailer
Kyle inherited from his mom.
26
00:01:08,211 --> 00:01:11,079
- We're having a séance.
- Yeah.
27
00:01:11,114 --> 00:01:14,482
I just hope we don't conjure up my mom.
28
00:01:14,518 --> 00:01:18,119
Even as a ghost, she'll probably
still ask for beer money.
29
00:01:19,389 --> 00:01:20,989
Fine, well, it'll just be me tonight,
30
00:01:21,024 --> 00:01:23,591
- home alone, handing out candy.
- Yeah, yeah.
31
00:01:23,627 --> 00:01:25,927
Always starts with
candy. Then they'll expect
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money, jobs, health care. Sure.
33
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the gateway drug to socialism.
34
00:01:33,637 --> 00:01:35,637
Yeah, you said the same
thing about Santa Claus.
35
00:01:35,672 --> 00:01:38,139
You called him the
welfare king of the north.
36
00:01:38,175 --> 00:01:41,109
Specifically, the Santa
at the mall. The real Santa
37
00:01:41,144 --> 00:01:43,144
makes you work for it with
naughty and nice lists.
38
00:01:43,180 --> 00:01:46,815
I know about this. Don't ask me how.
39
00:01:46,850 --> 00:01:47,849
I can't believe you are abandoning me
40
00:01:47,884 --> 00:01:49,718
on my favorite holiday.
41
00:01:49,753 --> 00:01:51,553
Honey, I told you this. We're
testing the security system.
42
00:01:51,588 --> 00:01:52,954
Tonight's the perfect
night, 'cause no one's
43
00:01:52,989 --> 00:01:54,355
- gonna be at the store.
- All right, Kyle,
44
00:01:54,391 --> 00:01:56,391
let's go. We got a séance to host.
45
00:01:56,426 --> 00:01:58,960
You know, if we could
talk to anybody who's dead,
46
00:01:58,995 --> 00:02:02,330
- I'd pick Pee-wee Herman.
- What?
47
00:02:02,365 --> 00:02:04,866
Babe, he's not dead.
48
00:02:04,901 --> 00:02:06,067
Oh.
49
00:02:06,103 --> 00:02:09,404
Well, he is awfully pale.
50
00:02:09,439 --> 00:02:12,574
Look, I know you want me home
51
00:02:12,609 --> 00:02:14,809
because you want to prank me,
but, honey, I got to admit,
52
00:02:14,845 --> 00:02:16,978
your pranks just aren't
working anymore, okay?
53
00:02:17,013 --> 00:02:19,247
Mm, yeah, you're right, you're
right. Why do I even try?
54
00:02:19,282 --> 00:02:21,082
Hey, uh...
55
00:02:21,118 --> 00:02:23,852
could you get my mug
out of the microwave?
56
00:02:28,525 --> 00:02:30,558
Okay.
57
00:02:31,628 --> 00:02:33,094
Ooh.
58
00:02:38,068 --> 00:02:41,068
Synced and corrected by Katniss Everdeen
www.addic7ed.com
59
00:02:45,208 --> 00:02:47,108
Hey, Mike Baxter here for Outdoor Man.
60
00:02:47,144 --> 00:02:49,744
In America, our calendar
is marked by special days.
61
00:02:49,780 --> 00:02:53,081
Um... the day we celebrate
our freedom, July Fourth.
62
00:02:53,116 --> 00:02:55,183
The day we express our
gratitude, Thanksgiving.
63
00:02:55,218 --> 00:02:57,919
And there's the day we all
get the crap scared out of us
64
00:02:57,954 --> 00:03:01,055
by bloodsucking vampires, Tax Day.
65
00:03:02,425 --> 00:03:04,292
Of course, Halloween can also be scary.
66
00:03:04,327 --> 00:03:05,927
In fact, many of us...
67
00:03:05,962 --> 00:03:09,464
it taps into our deepest,
deepest, darkest fears:
68
00:03:09,499 --> 00:03:13,034
other people's children
coming to our house.
69
00:03:13,069 --> 00:03:16,104
If you're like me, you'd
actually prefer zombies.
70
00:03:16,139 --> 00:03:18,206
As a culture, we've always
loved scaring each other.
71
00:03:18,241 --> 00:03:19,808
We build elaborate haunted houses.
72
00:03:19,843 --> 00:03:21,476
And how do we know that they're working?
73
00:03:21,511 --> 00:03:23,444
We make little kids cry.
74
00:03:23,480 --> 00:03:25,046
What a country.
75
00:03:25,081 --> 00:03:26,714
That's right, we try
to convince our children
76
00:03:26,750 --> 00:03:29,217
the world is a safe place,
and once a year we scream,
77
00:03:29,252 --> 00:03:32,554
"No, it's not! Boo!"
78
00:03:32,589 --> 00:03:35,723
On Halloween, our nation
abandons the war on terror
79
00:03:35,759 --> 00:03:37,892
to wage a war of terror
80
00:03:37,928 --> 00:03:40,161
on our loved ones.
81
00:03:40,197 --> 00:03:41,996
For some reason, there's nothing better
82
00:03:42,032 --> 00:03:44,232
than seeing those
nearest and dearest to us
83
00:03:44,267 --> 00:03:45,633
standing in a puddle of...
84
00:03:45,669 --> 00:03:48,236
of what we hope are tears.
85
00:03:48,271 --> 00:03:50,138
Of course, this year's most
terrifying haunted house
86
00:03:50,173 --> 00:03:52,173
won't open till a week after Halloween.
87
00:03:52,209 --> 00:03:54,609
It's called the House
of Representatives.
88
00:03:56,980 --> 00:03:58,613
Baxter out.
89
00:04:01,651 --> 00:04:03,318
Got to hand it to you, Mandy...
90
00:04:03,353 --> 00:04:06,421
you picked the perfect
place to host a séance.
91
00:04:06,456 --> 00:04:09,123
- Or contract hepatitis.
- We have to
92
00:04:09,159 --> 00:04:11,259
untether our spirits from this plane,
93
00:04:11,294 --> 00:04:13,995
so everyone must empty their minds.
94
00:04:14,030 --> 00:04:15,597
Done.
95
00:04:15,632 --> 00:04:17,832
You bring the candles?
96
00:04:17,868 --> 00:04:21,469
Oh, yeah, brought the,
uh, Bernie Sanders.
97
00:04:21,504 --> 00:04:23,805
Keep the flame alive.
98
00:04:23,840 --> 00:04:25,840
I'm so glad you agreed to join us, hon.
99
00:04:25,876 --> 00:04:28,509
I know you had your heart
set on Halloween trivia night.
100
00:04:28,545 --> 00:04:31,279
Yeah, it's okay. I've actually,
uh, never done a séance.
101
00:04:31,314 --> 00:04:34,782
You know, the word "séance"
is French for "session."
102
00:04:34,818 --> 00:04:37,619
Five points for Vogelson.
103
00:04:37,654 --> 00:04:40,722
There's a little preview
of the bullet you dodged.
104
00:04:40,757 --> 00:04:42,824
Oh, I dodged a bullet once.
105
00:04:42,859 --> 00:04:45,293
See?
106
00:04:45,328 --> 00:04:48,229
Shh! Everyone take a seat.
107
00:04:48,265 --> 00:04:50,665
Prepare to summon the spirit
108
00:04:50,700 --> 00:04:52,867
of the great Angelo Santucci.
109
00:04:52,903 --> 00:04:54,302
The great who?
110
00:04:54,337 --> 00:04:55,904
He was an Italian fashion designer
111
00:04:55,939 --> 00:04:57,906
famous for his all-white suits.
112
00:04:57,941 --> 00:05:00,008
He died in an avalanche in the Alps.
113
00:05:00,043 --> 00:05:02,176
He was very hard to find.
114
00:05:02,212 --> 00:05:04,212
That's one case where
a pair of black socks
115
00:05:04,247 --> 00:05:06,314
could've saved a life.
116
00:05:06,349 --> 00:05:08,182
You know, the Alps are
the highest mountain range
117
00:05:08,218 --> 00:05:11,252
in Europe. Their world
ranking, though? Number 11.
118
00:05:11,288 --> 00:05:14,222
Another five points and a
commanding lead for Vogelson.
119
00:05:15,625 --> 00:05:17,125
Let's join hands.
120
00:05:19,930 --> 00:05:21,162
Oh, spirit world.
121
00:05:21,197 --> 00:05:22,864
We humbly ask you to bring forward
122
00:05:22,899 --> 00:05:24,832
the spirit of Angelo Santucci.
123
00:05:24,868 --> 00:05:27,101
Or Patrick Swayze.
124
00:05:27,137 --> 00:05:29,604
If the spirit world is
open to this invitation,
125
00:05:29,639 --> 00:05:32,407
reveal unto us a sign.
126
00:05:38,281 --> 00:05:41,049
Uh, if this is a sign, it's a bad one.
127
00:05:45,055 --> 00:05:47,088
All right, all the monitors check out.
128
00:05:47,123 --> 00:05:49,357
Thanks for coming up
here to help, Baxter.
129
00:05:49,392 --> 00:05:51,092
It's fine with me. I
like this stuff, you know,
130
00:05:51,127 --> 00:05:52,927
I'm a techie guy.
131
00:05:52,963 --> 00:05:55,930
Now, I was worried it was just
because you wanted to prank me,
132
00:05:55,966 --> 00:05:57,966
it being Halloween and all.
133
00:05:58,001 --> 00:06:00,034
Well... I only prank people I like.
134
00:06:00,070 --> 00:06:02,403
Oh.
135
00:06:02,439 --> 00:06:05,406
Oh, that's right. So, in that case...
136
00:06:05,442 --> 00:06:08,376
I guess I wasted 20 bucks.
137
00:06:08,411 --> 00:06:10,812
It's hard to tell which is which.
138
00:06:12,349 --> 00:06:15,750
Hey, hey, Baxter, I
thought we were alone.
139
00:06:15,785 --> 00:06:17,285
There's something moving down there
140
00:06:17,320 --> 00:06:19,253
and it's coming up the stairs.
141
00:06:19,289 --> 00:06:22,090
Ooh! Didn't we just agree we
weren't gonna prank each other?
142
00:06:22,125 --> 00:06:25,085
No, no, no, no, no. It's not a prank.
Whatever it is, - Mm-hmm. Oh, yeah.
143
00:06:25,095 --> 00:06:28,096
- It's big and it's got a giant head.
- Whoa.
144
00:06:28,131 --> 00:06:29,964
- Hey, guys, what's up?
- Whoa, whoa.
145
00:06:30,000 --> 00:06:32,133
What are you doing here,
Joe? Everybody else left
146
00:06:32,168 --> 00:06:33,901
to be home with their
families hours ago.
147
00:06:33,937 --> 00:06:35,636
I'm not going home. I hate Halloween.
148
00:06:35,672 --> 00:06:37,505
- Really? I love it.
- Yeah,
149
00:06:37,540 --> 00:06:39,674
- you know who else loves it?
- Uh, kids?
150
00:06:39,709 --> 00:06:41,809
Satan. No, I'm serious, okay?
151
00:06:41,845 --> 00:06:43,778
Demon and hellspawn get
to freely roam the earth
152
00:06:43,813 --> 00:06:45,747
one night a year, and
I'm supposed to, what,
153
00:06:45,782 --> 00:06:48,316
open the door and give them a bonbon?
154
00:06:48,351 --> 00:06:49,817
If you don't want demons at your door,
155
00:06:49,853 --> 00:06:51,285
don't give 'em the good stuff.
156
00:06:51,321 --> 00:06:54,689
I'm telling you, Satan hates candy corn.
157
00:06:54,724 --> 00:06:56,324
You know, I hope you're
still laughing when you have
158
00:06:56,359 --> 00:06:59,327
a flaming pitchfork in your ass, okay?
159
00:06:59,362 --> 00:07:01,462
Look, I'll be in the garage.
I'm working on my car.
160
00:07:01,498 --> 00:07:03,498
Y-You're gonna feel safe
all alone down there?
161
00:07:03,533 --> 00:07:05,867
Oh, yeah, I'm packing.
162
00:07:05,902 --> 00:07:08,336
I got a squirt gun
filled with holy water.
163
00:07:14,411 --> 00:07:16,511
Phew.
164
00:07:16,546 --> 00:07:19,814
You know, when we said we
weren't gonna prank each other,
165
00:07:19,849 --> 00:07:21,549
we just meant you and I, right?
166
00:07:23,586 --> 00:07:25,853
Oh, yeah.
167
00:07:37,455 --> 00:07:38,654
Hey, Joe.
168
00:07:38,690 --> 00:07:40,790
Freeze, demons!
169
00:07:40,825 --> 00:07:43,426
Are you guys insane?
I almost blasted you!
170
00:07:43,461 --> 00:07:45,828
Yeah, we're lucky. We almost got wet.
171
00:07:45,863 --> 00:07:47,830
Yeah, go ahead, make
your jokes, have your fun.
172
00:07:47,865 --> 00:07:49,532
Hey, we're not here to make
fun of you, Joe. We're here
173
00:07:49,567 --> 00:07:51,100
to tell you something very important.
174
00:07:51,135 --> 00:07:52,768
What's that?
175
00:07:52,804 --> 00:07:54,036
- We get it, all right?
- Yeah.
176
00:07:54,072 --> 00:07:55,805
We were just goofing around upstairs
177
00:07:55,840 --> 00:07:57,640
'cause we wanted to make
sure that you were serious
178
00:07:57,675 --> 00:08:00,209
- about you said about Halloween.
- And, obviously, you are.
179
00:08:00,245 --> 00:08:02,211
I mean, it's-it's creepy, right?
180
00:08:02,247 --> 00:08:04,213
Worse than creepy, man...
it's dark, it's evil,
181
00:08:04,249 --> 00:08:06,415
it's like voodoo or-or kale.
182
00:08:07,689 --> 00:08:09,290
It's actually the reason why Chuck and I
183
00:08:09,320 --> 00:08:11,020
- are here tonight.
- Mm-hmm.
184
00:08:11,055 --> 00:08:13,155
I thought you were down here
putting in motion detectors.
185
00:08:13,191 --> 00:08:16,158
Motion detectors? We... I
don't think this is a good idea.
186
00:08:16,194 --> 00:08:18,361
You know, I trust him, and-and
we're gonna need his help.
187
00:08:18,396 --> 00:08:19,528
You're gonna tell him the whole
story? He's not gonna believe
188
00:08:19,564 --> 00:08:21,998
- this whole story. Just...
- I got to try, Mike.
189
00:08:23,835 --> 00:08:26,702
Listen, Joe.
190
00:08:26,738 --> 00:08:29,839
This store was built on
what was, many years ago,
191
00:08:29,874 --> 00:08:31,741
an old insane asylum.
192
00:08:31,776 --> 00:08:34,477
Oh, please, and what was that
called, The Outdoor Loony Bin?
193
00:08:34,512 --> 00:08:36,345
I told you he wasn't gonna
believe this. Never mind, Joe.
194
00:08:36,381 --> 00:08:38,681
- Let's just handle this ourselves.
- Okay.
195
00:08:41,519 --> 00:08:43,853
All right, okay, hang on, hang on.
196
00:08:45,923 --> 00:08:49,225
Let's say there's
something to this whole...
197
00:08:49,260 --> 00:08:51,560
nuthouse story.
198
00:08:51,596 --> 00:08:54,430
100 years ago,
199
00:08:54,465 --> 00:08:56,666
on this very night, on Halloween,
200
00:08:56,701 --> 00:08:59,068
a madman bound with
chains was brought in.
201
00:08:59,103 --> 00:09:02,505
A madman who claimed to be a prince.
202
00:09:02,540 --> 00:09:04,874
Yeah.
203
00:09:04,909 --> 00:09:06,542
A prince. And when they asked him,
204
00:09:06,577 --> 00:09:08,110
"What-what country are you prince of?"
205
00:09:08,146 --> 00:09:12,048
his-his reply was, "A
kingdom is not a country."
206
00:09:12,083 --> 00:09:14,850
'Cause he claimed to be the prince...
207
00:09:14,886 --> 00:09:18,387
Of darkness?
208
00:09:18,423 --> 00:09:22,024
- The man...
- Or whatever he was.
209
00:09:22,060 --> 00:09:25,061
...was locked in the deepest,
darkest cell of the asylum.
210
00:09:25,096 --> 00:09:28,931
Everyone was terrified to open
that door again, so they didn't.
211
00:09:28,966 --> 00:09:31,434
Ever.
212
00:09:31,469 --> 00:09:34,036
And that door is in the
basement of Outdoor Man.
213
00:09:34,072 --> 00:09:36,072
Every Halloween, Mike and
I close the store early
214
00:09:36,107 --> 00:09:38,441
so we can make sure
that door stays sealed.
215
00:09:38,476 --> 00:09:40,409
Why do you need my help?
216
00:09:41,979 --> 00:09:45,281
Well, according to my
demonic motion detector...
217
00:09:45,316 --> 00:09:47,883
There's an app for that?
218
00:09:47,919 --> 00:09:50,086
Whatever's behind that door
219
00:09:50,121 --> 00:09:52,621
is trying to get out.
220
00:09:56,094 --> 00:09:58,127
Wow!
221
00:09:58,162 --> 00:10:01,430
Happy Halloween! Gosh,
I love your costumes.
222
00:10:01,466 --> 00:10:03,132
Here, anybody else want a toothbrush?
223
00:10:03,167 --> 00:10:06,302
Right? No, no, it's candy.
It's... Come on, it's candy.
224
00:10:06,337 --> 00:10:08,771
All right, well,
seriously, brush afterwards.
225
00:10:08,806 --> 00:10:10,740
Oh, my! Wow.
226
00:10:10,775 --> 00:10:12,475
Look at you. You're very scary.
227
00:10:12,510 --> 00:10:14,143
Can I have extra? The
police blocked off the street
228
00:10:14,178 --> 00:10:15,778
down at the Kirkpatricks' house.
229
00:10:15,813 --> 00:10:18,581
What? No, my grandson's
at a sleepover there.
230
00:10:18,616 --> 00:10:20,449
- Here, take this. I got to go...
- Got you, Grandma!
231
00:10:20,485 --> 00:10:22,785
Aunt Mandy said you're easy to prank.
232
00:10:22,820 --> 00:10:26,122
I am not easy to prank!
233
00:10:26,157 --> 00:10:28,791
Oh, wait a minute, where's
the bowl? Where's the-the...
234
00:10:28,826 --> 00:10:32,728
Boyd! You! I know where you live!
235
00:10:35,533 --> 00:10:36,966
Here she comes.
236
00:10:39,670 --> 00:10:42,772
Uh, happy Halloween, Officer.
237
00:10:42,807 --> 00:10:45,274
What are you folks
doing on this property?
238
00:10:45,309 --> 00:10:46,942
Uh, we're having a séance.
239
00:10:46,978 --> 00:10:48,611
You're aware that you're trespassing?
240
00:10:48,646 --> 00:10:51,213
Actually, uh, we're
not. This is his trailer.
241
00:10:51,249 --> 00:10:53,816
Yeah, it used to belong
to my mom, Judith Anderson.
242
00:10:53,851 --> 00:10:55,384
You may have met her.
243
00:10:55,420 --> 00:10:58,120
She spent a lot of time
with your organization.
244
00:10:58,156 --> 00:11:00,055
Is there a problem,
Officer? I happen to know
245
00:11:00,091 --> 00:11:01,457
a lot about citizens' rights.
246
00:11:01,492 --> 00:11:04,727
I'm a, uh, marijuana dealer.
247
00:11:04,762 --> 00:11:07,496
I'll need to see everyone's IDs.
248
00:11:07,532 --> 00:11:10,366
Oh, funny thing. Uh, we had
to leave our wallets and phones
249
00:11:10,401 --> 00:11:12,168
in Kyle's van, because apparently,
250
00:11:12,203 --> 00:11:15,371
they "interfere with the
spiritual gateway."
251
00:11:15,406 --> 00:11:17,807
You know what, I'll just run
to the van and get the IDs.
252
00:11:17,842 --> 00:11:19,508
If you're talking about the
van on the frontage road,
253
00:11:19,544 --> 00:11:20,843
we just towed it.
254
00:11:20,878 --> 00:11:22,812
It was parked in front of a hydrant.
255
00:11:22,847 --> 00:11:25,815
That was a hydrant? It
was wearing a witch's hat.
256
00:11:25,850 --> 00:11:27,550
Still a hydrant.
257
00:11:27,585 --> 00:11:30,719
If you don't have IDs, I
have to take you all in.
258
00:11:30,755 --> 00:11:33,422
Wait a minute.
259
00:11:33,458 --> 00:11:35,057
This isn't real.
260
00:11:35,092 --> 00:11:37,059
I told Mom that she
was terrible at pranks,
261
00:11:37,094 --> 00:11:40,229
and all of a sudden, we're gonna
to be taken in by a "lady cop"?
262
00:11:41,599 --> 00:11:44,266
Mom's totally trying to up her game.
263
00:11:44,302 --> 00:11:47,503
Yeah. Hey, aren't you
in Mrs. B's book club?
264
00:11:47,538 --> 00:11:50,873
The one who reads the
least, but drinks the most?
265
00:11:52,910 --> 00:11:55,711
- Guys, I think she might be a real cop.
- I am.
266
00:11:55,746 --> 00:11:58,230
Yeah, her squad car
certainly looks real.
267
00:11:58,261 --> 00:11:58,881
It is.
268
00:11:58,916 --> 00:12:02,284
- Are we going for a ride?
- You are.
269
00:12:02,320 --> 00:12:04,920
You're about to be a part of
a whole different book club.
270
00:12:04,956 --> 00:12:06,956
Come on, now.
271
00:12:15,566 --> 00:12:17,633
Oh, the door's already open!
272
00:12:17,668 --> 00:12:19,702
I thought this was just a storage room.
273
00:12:19,737 --> 00:12:21,704
I didn't realize it
was the gateway to hell.
274
00:12:21,739 --> 00:12:23,913
You should've put up
a sign or something.
275
00:12:23,944 --> 00:12:27,810
It can't be obvious, otherwise his
acolytes would know where to find him.
276
00:12:27,845 --> 00:12:30,479
Oh, yeah, that makes sense, yeah.
277
00:12:30,515 --> 00:12:32,114
Did you hear that?
278
00:12:32,149 --> 00:12:34,650
It just got colder.
279
00:12:34,685 --> 00:12:36,605
Can you not say it that
way, with the deep voice?
280
00:12:36,621 --> 00:12:38,587
It just makes everything sound scarier.
281
00:12:38,623 --> 00:12:39,922
Yeah, it's like we're fighting evil
282
00:12:39,957 --> 00:12:42,558
- with Barry White.
- Yeah.
283
00:12:42,593 --> 00:12:45,194
I've been talking like
this since I was 11.
284
00:12:46,631 --> 00:12:48,998
Early puberty.
285
00:12:49,033 --> 00:12:50,733
Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa.
286
00:12:50,768 --> 00:12:52,334
Think I'm getting a reading,
right there, right there.
287
00:12:52,370 --> 00:12:54,336
It's hot! W-What do we do,
what do we do, what do we do?
288
00:12:54,372 --> 00:12:56,238
Look, I'm not going
near that door, okay?
289
00:12:56,274 --> 00:12:59,808
I'll see the devil on the day
I die, and-and not a day before.
290
00:12:59,844 --> 00:13:02,444
We have a responsibility.
291
00:13:02,480 --> 00:13:04,813
We're the last line of defense
between this abomination
292
00:13:04,849 --> 00:13:06,415
and the rest of humanity.
293
00:13:06,450 --> 00:13:09,184
Who knows what darkness
lies behind that door?
294
00:13:09,220 --> 00:13:11,086
Joe, you go in.
295
00:13:11,122 --> 00:13:13,455
- Didn't you just hear me say...
- The day I die?
296
00:13:13,491 --> 00:13:15,457
I'll go. This is the day
297
00:13:15,493 --> 00:13:17,660
I've been training for my whole life.
298
00:13:19,230 --> 00:13:20,329
Wish me luck.
299
00:13:20,364 --> 00:13:21,664
Chuck.
300
00:13:21,699 --> 00:13:24,500
You're gonna need more than luck.
301
00:13:24,535 --> 00:13:26,368
You're gonna need this.
302
00:13:27,405 --> 00:13:28,470
Thanks, Joe.
303
00:13:33,678 --> 00:13:36,412
- Take it easy, take it easy.
- Quiet.
304
00:13:41,052 --> 00:13:43,018
Mike, it's got me!
305
00:13:43,054 --> 00:13:45,220
Oh, my God, he's being
dragged to the bowels of hell!
306
00:13:45,256 --> 00:13:47,222
No, no, we can't... you can't save him.
307
00:13:47,258 --> 00:13:49,158
- Not today, Satan!
- We got to save ourselves!
308
00:13:56,901 --> 00:13:58,400
We got you, man.
309
00:14:00,738 --> 00:14:02,871
Oh, that's great.
Oh, that's a great prank,
310
00:14:02,907 --> 00:14:04,740
man, it's... Oh, it's...
oh, it was just me
311
00:14:04,775 --> 00:14:07,242
trying to scare you, man. Take
it easy, breathe a little bit.
312
00:14:07,278 --> 00:14:09,378
- I got a pain in my arm, man.
- What?
313
00:14:09,413 --> 00:14:11,413
I got a pain in my ar...
314
00:14:19,473 --> 00:14:22,274
Joe, J, Joe. I-I... I think
the dude had a heart attack.
315
00:14:22,310 --> 00:14:24,476
- Well, give him CPR.
- He's not even breathing.
316
00:14:24,512 --> 00:14:26,612
- Well, give him mouth-to-mouth.
- I don't want to.
317
00:14:26,647 --> 00:14:28,447
Man, get out of the way.
318
00:14:28,482 --> 00:14:30,349
The man is dying.
319
00:14:30,384 --> 00:14:32,284
Okay, Joe. I got you, man.
320
00:14:32,320 --> 00:14:34,620
You might want to try a breath mint.
321
00:14:41,896 --> 00:14:44,263
And that is how you do a prank!
322
00:14:44,298 --> 00:14:45,865
- Yeah!
- Yes!
323
00:14:45,900 --> 00:14:48,100
Wh... You... you set me up?
324
00:14:48,135 --> 00:14:49,936
That's right, I set you
up by having you think
325
00:14:49,971 --> 00:14:51,470
we were setting him up.
326
00:14:51,505 --> 00:14:53,072
In your face.
327
00:14:54,675 --> 00:14:55,975
An insane asylum.
328
00:14:56,010 --> 00:14:58,277
How dumb do you think I am?
329
00:14:58,312 --> 00:15:01,013
Apparently not as dumb
as Mike thinks I am.
330
00:15:01,048 --> 00:15:04,550
It's not about which one of you
is dumber, it's how smart I am.
331
00:15:04,585 --> 00:15:07,319
Man, this is low, Baxter, even for you.
332
00:15:07,355 --> 00:15:09,531
Oh, when I... when you
go low, I go lower.
333
00:15:10,224 --> 00:15:12,524
I can't believe you
thought this was funny.
334
00:15:12,560 --> 00:15:15,194
Uh, I didn't. He's my
bo... I-I just went along.
335
00:15:15,229 --> 00:15:17,897
You know what?
I'm leaving, you guys.
336
00:15:17,932 --> 00:15:20,532
- Just enjoy the rest of your Halloween.
- Oh, come on.
337
00:15:21,502 --> 00:15:22,835
He seemed upset.
338
00:15:22,870 --> 00:15:24,203
Eh, I'd be upset,
too... he almost
339
00:15:24,238 --> 00:15:26,238
kissed an old Italian woman.
340
00:15:29,944 --> 00:15:33,012
Wow, nice costume.
341
00:15:33,047 --> 00:15:35,681
But aren't you a little
old to be trick-or-treating?
342
00:15:35,716 --> 00:15:37,149
Here.
343
00:15:37,184 --> 00:15:39,985
Why does everyone
think this is a costume?
344
00:15:40,021 --> 00:15:42,922
Ma'am, I picked up
four individuals tonight
345
00:15:42,957 --> 00:15:45,257
who were trespassing
in an abandoned trailer.
346
00:15:45,293 --> 00:15:48,160
Mm-hmm.
347
00:15:48,195 --> 00:15:50,596
Does a Kyle Anderson live here?
348
00:15:50,631 --> 00:15:54,333
Oh, I don't know that name.
349
00:15:54,368 --> 00:15:57,269
Then why are you smiling?
350
00:15:57,305 --> 00:16:00,372
I just love Halloween.
351
00:16:00,408 --> 00:16:03,175
Anyway, Mr. Anderson's in my squad car.
352
00:16:03,210 --> 00:16:06,612
He's the one happily waving at us.
353
00:16:06,647 --> 00:16:09,415
Says he and his wife live here,
and that the deed to the trailer
354
00:16:09,450 --> 00:16:12,184
is inside, which would prove
they weren't trespassing.
355
00:16:12,219 --> 00:16:13,385
Is this true?
356
00:16:13,421 --> 00:16:16,388
No.
357
00:16:16,424 --> 00:16:18,257
And you can tell whoever's in that car
358
00:16:18,292 --> 00:16:20,092
that I'm not falling for their trick.
359
00:16:20,127 --> 00:16:22,394
They must have me mistaken for someone
360
00:16:22,430 --> 00:16:25,030
who is easy to prank.
361
00:16:25,066 --> 00:16:27,566
Are you sure you don't know them?
362
00:16:27,601 --> 00:16:29,768
It seems like you do.
363
00:16:31,772 --> 00:16:34,540
I'm sure. Look, are we done here?
364
00:16:34,575 --> 00:16:35,941
Because it's Halloween,
365
00:16:35,977 --> 00:16:38,644
and I have a lot of
work to do, "Officer."
366
00:16:40,281 --> 00:16:42,681
I hate this holiday.
367
00:16:45,953 --> 00:16:48,087
What do you want, Baxter?
368
00:16:48,122 --> 00:16:50,322
You're not answering
my phone calls, man.
369
00:16:50,358 --> 00:16:53,092
Whatever. If you came over to apologize,
370
00:16:53,127 --> 00:16:55,094
you're wasting your time.
371
00:16:55,129 --> 00:16:58,998
I'm not wasting my time,
'cause I'm not apologizing.
372
00:16:59,033 --> 00:17:01,153
You're being a big crybaby.
You're sucking all the joy
373
00:17:01,168 --> 00:17:03,502
- out of Halloween.
- You're incredible.
374
00:17:03,537 --> 00:17:06,405
I think I'm pretty incredible, too.
375
00:17:06,440 --> 00:17:08,807
Took me a week to figure that
out. And it was pretty funny
376
00:17:08,843 --> 00:17:10,309
when you thought we were pranking Joe.
377
00:17:10,344 --> 00:17:12,411
- That's different.
- Why is that different?
378
00:17:12,446 --> 00:17:16,148
Y-You were willing to let
me think I'd killed a man.
379
00:17:16,183 --> 00:17:18,450
Not killed. Massive heart attack.
380
00:17:21,489 --> 00:17:24,189
That's a huge thing to
lay on a person, man.
381
00:17:24,225 --> 00:17:25,424
You crossed a line.
382
00:17:25,459 --> 00:17:27,126
Stop being so sensitive. In a week,
383
00:17:27,161 --> 00:17:29,128
we'll both be laughing at
it. At least, I will be.
384
00:17:30,531 --> 00:17:31,964
Are we good?
385
00:17:31,999 --> 00:17:33,699
I guess I have to be.
386
00:17:33,734 --> 00:17:35,654
- Why do you have to be?
- 'Cause you're my boss.
387
00:17:35,669 --> 00:17:36,669
- Oh, stop it.
- Oh, no, no.
388
00:17:36,704 --> 00:17:38,537
Whatever you do, I just have to take it.
389
00:17:38,572 --> 00:17:40,739
Oh, call HR.
390
00:17:42,209 --> 00:17:43,675
You only got to do what I got to do.
391
00:17:43,711 --> 00:17:45,544
I mean, we hang out
when we're not at work.
392
00:17:45,579 --> 00:17:47,479
Oh, oh, oh, oh... so
you're-you're saying
393
00:17:47,515 --> 00:17:50,849
we're friends, right?
That-that you like me?
394
00:17:53,054 --> 00:17:55,687
You... y-you shouldn't
395
00:17:55,723 --> 00:17:58,323
put words in people's mouths.
396
00:17:58,359 --> 00:18:00,125
Good-bye, Baxter.
397
00:18:00,161 --> 00:18:01,560
W-Wait a minute,
you mean I can't leave here
398
00:18:01,595 --> 00:18:03,962
until I-I, I say
w-what you said?
399
00:18:03,998 --> 00:18:05,531
That's right.
400
00:18:05,566 --> 00:18:09,301
And remember, I'm sensitive.
401
00:18:09,336 --> 00:18:11,303
Okay, you know what,
there's-there's a lot of d-days,
402
00:18:11,338 --> 00:18:13,739
- you come to work, and I like it
- Mm-hmm...
403
00:18:13,774 --> 00:18:17,476
when you're there, even though
you don't bring donuts. Right?
404
00:18:17,511 --> 00:18:18,977
So that would prove
405
00:18:19,013 --> 00:18:21,747
that we're f-friend... ly.
406
00:18:23,284 --> 00:18:25,217
Friendly?
407
00:18:25,252 --> 00:18:27,319
All right, we're friends.
408
00:18:27,354 --> 00:18:29,154
Can I go now?
409
00:18:29,190 --> 00:18:31,390
Wait, wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait hang on, hang on.
410
00:18:31,425 --> 00:18:33,025
What level of friends are we?
411
00:18:33,060 --> 00:18:35,327
- No, no, no... Come on.
- No, no, no. Wait, wait.
412
00:18:35,362 --> 00:18:37,429
Are we acquaintance
friends, good friends?
413
00:18:37,465 --> 00:18:38,664
'Cause we're gonna
have to be pretty close
414
00:18:38,699 --> 00:18:40,566
for me to get over this.
415
00:18:40,601 --> 00:18:42,534
- Okay.
- Hmm.
416
00:18:42,570 --> 00:18:45,404
But if I hear you say
anything to anybody about this,
417
00:18:45,439 --> 00:18:47,372
I will kick you in the Barry Whites.
418
00:18:51,879 --> 00:18:53,178
We...
419
00:18:53,214 --> 00:18:56,682
You're one of my best friends.
420
00:18:56,717 --> 00:18:59,351
Oh. How about that?
421
00:18:59,386 --> 00:19:01,601
Mike Baxter, man of stone,
422
00:19:01,632 --> 00:19:02,788
Yeah, yeah.
423
00:19:02,823 --> 00:19:06,425
is a mushball.
424
00:19:06,460 --> 00:19:08,961
I didn't think we'd
ever get you to say that.
425
00:19:10,231 --> 00:19:11,697
Wh... W-Why did you say "we"?
426
00:19:11,732 --> 00:19:13,699
Yes!
427
00:19:19,473 --> 00:19:21,273
Yes!
428
00:19:21,308 --> 00:19:23,075
Best prank ever!
429
00:19:24,178 --> 00:19:25,577
And I was the mastermind.
430
00:19:25,613 --> 00:19:29,348
Oh, yeah. Me. Yeah, in your face.
431
00:19:30,985 --> 00:19:33,752
- Wait a minute. You did this?
- No, we did it.
432
00:19:33,787 --> 00:19:36,588
Last week, I heard you on
the phone with Joe setting up
433
00:19:36,624 --> 00:19:39,825
your fake prank on him, so
you could actually prank Chuck.
434
00:19:39,860 --> 00:19:43,929
So then I called Chuck to
set up this real prank on you.
435
00:19:45,316 --> 00:19:46,637
Yeah, that's right. That's right.
436
00:19:46,667 --> 00:19:50,335
I am the prank queen!
437
00:19:51,972 --> 00:19:54,439
It was genius, because
what is the scariest thing
438
00:19:54,475 --> 00:19:55,674
to Mike Baxter?
439
00:19:55,709 --> 00:19:58,177
- Human emotion.
- Human emotion.
440
00:19:58,212 --> 00:20:01,446
Yes!
441
00:20:01,482 --> 00:20:03,175
Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you.
Yes, thank you.
442
00:20:03,206 --> 00:20:03,782
Oh, thank you.
443
00:20:03,817 --> 00:20:05,997
Yeah, see, I'm not clapping for
you guys, I'm clapping for me.
444
00:20:06,028 --> 00:20:06,585
What?
445
00:20:06,620 --> 00:20:08,520
'Cause I think this is
a really big deal for me.
446
00:20:08,556 --> 00:20:09,136
What?
447
00:20:09,167 --> 00:20:11,456
I did good work here.
I took a great woman...
448
00:20:11,492 --> 00:20:13,458
kind, big-hearted...
added a little evil.
449
00:20:13,494 --> 00:20:15,460
This might be some of my best work.
450
00:20:15,496 --> 00:20:17,663
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
451
00:20:17,698 --> 00:20:19,364
No, no. You can't take credit for this.
452
00:20:19,400 --> 00:20:21,767
This is mine.
453
00:20:21,802 --> 00:20:22,834
Is it?
454
00:20:24,705 --> 00:20:27,873
What if it isn't done yet?
455
00:20:27,908 --> 00:20:29,775
What do you mean, not done
yet? What does that mean?
456
00:20:29,810 --> 00:20:32,544
Tell her, Chuck.
457
00:20:32,580 --> 00:20:35,347
Tell her what?
458
00:20:35,382 --> 00:20:37,549
Come on. You can tell her.
459
00:20:37,585 --> 00:20:39,885
- What?
- What do you want to tell me, Chuck?
460
00:20:41,922 --> 00:20:45,023
I think it's gonna take
a while to sort this out.
461
00:20:45,059 --> 00:20:47,359
I'm gonna go have a cold beer.
462
00:20:53,259 --> 00:20:55,259
Hey.
463
00:20:55,295 --> 00:20:59,063
How long were you and
Larabee yelling at each other?
464
00:20:59,099 --> 00:21:02,066
Shut up, Mike. I got you good,
465
00:21:02,102 --> 00:21:03,735
- and you can't take that away from me.
- You're right,
466
00:21:03,770 --> 00:21:05,103
you did, you did. -Yes.
467
00:21:05,138 --> 00:21:06,459
You know what that means, though.
468
00:21:06,473 --> 00:21:08,172
Next year, I'm gonna just...
469
00:21:08,208 --> 00:21:11,109
well, let's just wait till next year.
470
00:21:11,144 --> 00:21:13,344
Well, you better make it
a good one, because my days
471
00:21:13,380 --> 00:21:15,413
- of falling for pranks are over.
- Is that right?
472
00:21:15,448 --> 00:21:18,015
Yeah, you should've seen the
one the kids tried to pull on me.
473
00:21:18,051 --> 00:21:19,751
- What did the kids try to pull on you?
- I don't know,
474
00:21:19,786 --> 00:21:21,506
it was a... something
to do with a fake cop.
475
00:21:21,521 --> 00:21:23,121
Tell you in the morning.
476
00:21:30,630 --> 00:21:33,331
Oh, wait... I
do have my ID.
35805
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