All language subtitles for Tank.Girl.1995.1080p.BluRay.x2RARBG

Listen up, 'cause
I'm only tellin' you this once.

I'm not a bedtime story lady,
so pay attention.

It's 2033.

The world is screwed now.

You see, a while ago, this humongous
comet came crashing into the Earth.

Bang!
Total devastation.

End of the world as we know it.

No celebrities,
no cable TV, no water.

It hasn't rained in 11 years.

Now, 20 people gotta squeeze
inside the same bathtub.

So, it ain't all bad.

That's me-- the one in the mask.

No, the other one in the mask.

Today's my boyfriend's birthday.

So, I'm out shopping
for that perfect gift--

whatever I can scrounge up.

Uh-oh, Ripper leftovers.

The Rippers are a demonic army
of bloodthirsty, human eating,

purse snatching,
mutant creatures.

Witness exhibit A.

Uchh!, you are so dead.

They're led by the infamous
Johnny Prophet.

They spend most of their time
raidin' the WP.

That's short
for Water and Power.

They control most of the water

and got all the power.

Oh, wait, one last thing.

My friends and me, we do not suck up
to Water and Power.

Yeah, we steal water,
but as long as they don't find out,

who gives a shit?

Ah, there it is--
home sweet home.

A thing of beauty.

I'm gonna go water
the vegetables.

Hey, Town, you fixed the pump, right?
I'm going down.

Yeah, go for it.

Shit.

You've been stealing water.

What gave you that idea?

Take off your clothes.

Ohh! agh!

- Now!
- Shit.

Right, right, right, right...

There.

Did I tell you to stop?

Ohh.

Now...

Salute me.

I'm not too good under pressure.

Well, you'll learn then,
won't you?

Gross out.

Come on,
they're being weird again.

Let's get outta here.

Let go.

Damn!

Hah, I was just gettin'
into that one.

Give me that.

Hey, Sam.

I thought you was working
on my Doris Day bust.

I didn't trade you my specially
autographed Doris picture

just for whatever this is.

I know, but the wood talks to me.

It said, "Ripper."

How would you know
what one looks like?

No one's ever seen a Ripper.

No one's ever seen
your peanut dick either.

- I'm tellin'.
- Go ahead.

Rebecca,
don't forget guard duty.

Ah.

Adam was dust
until God injected him with life.

And do you know
what was in that injection?

Water.

Water is life.

Water is power.

Well done.

You've all done
a masterful job.

Ninety-five percent of the desert
and all the water it contains

now belongs
to Water and Power.

Well, I think that deserves
a little toast.

To Captain Derouche

for securing most of the desert.

Captain Derouche.

Captain Derouche.

I can promise you, sir,

the Rippers will only be
a minor setback.

Hmm.

Once I take care of them,

that final crack of land
will be ours.

This crack of land, Captain?

Hm, hm, well,
just a small crack.

Doesn't matter,
we'll let that go.

Hmm.

Oh, my!

Now look what's happened.

We lost the Feta Plains.

And the Tenelson Ridge.

And so on!

There are three million liters of water
underneath the Blue Dunes.

And you will retrieve it.

Do I make myself clear,
gentlemen?

Yes, sir.

Good!

Remove your boots, Captain.

Now, come here.

The fool.

It was foolish not
to carry out my order.

And it was foolish to walk across
a floor full of glass.

If I were you,
I wouldn't have done it.

I would have killed me first.

But you lack that courage,
don't you, Captain?

Come closer.

Well.

Uh!

Ah.

Sergeant Small,

it's your show now.

Please,

try not to let me down.

Yes, sir.

Lovely.

I take guard duty
very seriously.

Elvis, Elvis, come out and play.

Hey, baby, what do you say,
me and you, Vegas?

Bollocks!

Boo!

Rebecca?

Rebecca?

Rebecca?

Rebecca?
Rebecca!

Ha ha, got you.

You butt smear.

What'd I tell you?
Don't say butt smear.

It's not becoming.
Say... asshole.

Or dickwad.

- Trade you.
- What?

I'll sneak you some food
for that danger ball you found.

I don't know.
You know how to work it?

- Mm-hm.
- If you don't...

you're steak tartare.

All right.

First, go get me my food.

Happy birthday.

I knew you couldn't resist me.

Snip snip.

Don't come any closer.

You gotta stay there.

And watch.

Okay, you can come
a little bit closer.

But you can't touch.

Hi.

Lose the scissors.

Shit.

Water and Power,
hands in the air!

Over here, over here!

It's the troopers.

Confirmed, they've
been siphoning water.

Well, keep going.

We're just gettin'
to the good stuff.

Ooh, yeah.

Okay-

Uh!

- Drop something?
- Huh?

Ha ha.

Aww, shit.

Rebecca, help!
Rebecca!

- Sam!
- Rebecca!

No!

Richard!

Come on!

Shit!

We got her!

You've been stealing water.

- Not smart.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.

We could have a lot of fun
with this one.

Well, well.

Don't you know
you shouldn't own animals?

There's a water shortage.

There's your water.

Uh!

Hey, you.

Look at me when
I'm talkin' to ya.

That cut looks painful.

I like pain.

And what else do you like?

Hot oil.

Vacuum attachments.

Yeah?

Yep.

Hey, which of you gorgeous guys

would like an oil change, hm?

Don't be stupid,
she's gonna bite it off.

The moment I feel teeth,

you feel lead.

Well, what are you waiting for?

I'm gonna need
a microscope and tweezers.

It's like, uh--

You know, you're gonna
have to stop this.

You're really gettin' me hot.

Freeze!

What?

Ah, ah.

She's all yours, sir.

Just how many
of my men did you kill?

Mm-mm.

Eight, sir.

Eight, eight,
the burning eight.

Between Sunday and Monday
hangs a day so dark,

it will devastate.

Excuse me.

Hey.

Abandon all hope,
ye who enter here.

Look, you want to torture me,

spank me, lick me?
Do it.

But if this poetry shit continues,
just shoot me now please?

What, and waste all that talent?

I'm offering you
the chance of a lifetime.

The honor of working for me.

Not interested.

Not yet.

Put her to work.

Dig or die!

You people are pathetic!

Come on, get back to work!

These water pipes
should have been dug yesterday!

Hey, just stand still.

Hey, this scum's got a knife.

Enjoying yourself?

Uh!

Hey, what time is it?

I don't want to miss Bay Watch.

Hey, Jess, how's the jet, Jet?

I asked you a question!

There are stress cracks
in the main engine turbine blades.

And the manifold pressure sensor's
leaking like a sieve.

I'm doing a full teardown.

I'll have her back together
by Wednesday.

You'll have her back together
by morning.

I don't care if you have
to work all night.

That is, of course, unless you want
to make me change my mind.

Uh!

I'll have it fixed by morning.

Failure to recycle
body fluids is a violation.

Number four--
Hoarding water rations is a violation.

Number five-- syphoning body fluids
from another prisoner is a violation.

Number six-- Tampering with
no smoking devices is a violation.

What is your problem?

I have gone out of my way
to be nice to you!

If it wasn't for me, you would just be
another whore around here.

Now, all I'm askin' for

is just a little bit in return.

Quit pickin' on my girlfriend.

Uh.

Shit.

Uh, God, that is--

Thanks.

It worked.

What worked?

Mn'! oh! my God-

End of shift.

All prisoners return to cells.

End of shift.
All prisoners return to cells.

Ahh!

Heh, heh, heh.

I'm in love.

Ba-ba-ba-bam.

Cool.

Systems check, stand by.

Check, check,
check, check, check.

Please enter security signature.

My mom and your mom
were hangin' out clothes.

- Security signature invalid.
- Shit.

You have ten seconds before cyanide
gas is injected into the chamber.

- Go, go!
- Ten, nine, eight,

seven, six, five, four,

three, two, one.

Oh, no.

You know the security code
to this thing?

Yeah, yeah.

Good, then get me outta here.

Go, do it.

Get to cranking.

They're hijacking a tank.

Sir, if you want my opinion--

No, I don't.

Places to wreck,
people to do.

This tank, it isn't--

isn't, isn't--

- isn't--
- What?

Come on, just one little adjective,
we'll have a whole sentence here.

The tank isn't--
Glad.

Sad.

Mad.

- Um--
- Lonely.

It isn't op-- op-- operational.

How do I know you're not lyin'?

Because, if I was lying, your lungs
would be full of cyanide gas.

Cool, so we get a new tank.

Wait, wait.

Um!

Nobody gets out of here
without a clearance.

We're all prisoners here.

And if-- if they catch you--

Then they'll, don't tell me,
they'll take away my TV privileges.

I'll live with it.

My, my.

She'll be fun to break.

How's your lover?

Huh?

Yeah, I wouldn't get
too attached.

She's not going to be around
much longer.

Well, I bet you just can't wait to
take this baby for a test run, huh?

That's too bad.

'Cause you just lost
your flying privileges.

And, uh, the whole hangar
is off limits too.

You happy?

Miss me?

What-- what are you doing?

Oh, I was just thinking
about leaving this place.

It's been swell,
but the swelling's gone down.

What do you reckon?
We go to New York, see Cats.

You-- you don't understand.

The-- the better you behave,
the more they leave you alone.

And the more they leave you alone,
the better off you are.

Well, that's a bore.

There's nuttin' to be scared of.

You just gotta think about it like

the first time you got laid.

You just gotta go,
"Daddy, are you sure this is right?"

Oh, you're sick.

How come you always do that?

How come you always cover
your mouth when you smile?

You got bad teeth or somethin'?

- Mm, I don't know.
- Come on.

What do you say we bolt?

Oh!

You know, I'm really startin'
to like it here.

People are nice, food's great,
and I love my job.

I can see why you want
to hang around.

Morning.

It's really hard for me

to play with myself
in this thing.

That's a shame.

Look, you want to play,
I'll play.

And I'll win.

No, not if it's Monopoly,

'cause I really kick ass
at that game.

But, I get to be the shoe.

I'm going to ask you
just one more time.

Do you want to work
for Water and Power?

Oh, yeah, that sounds groovy.

I get to wear
a cute little outfit like yours?

The pipe.

You're gonna
really love this one.

Goes down 40 meters.

You'll get smaller and smaller
the deeper you go.

Sounds wicked.

Can I go first?

I hope you're not
claustrophobic.

Drop her.

Uh!

Bye.

No!

No!

Don't go.

Help!

Rebecca!

Full metal.

They didn't even have a chance
to squeeze off a round.

Another outpost
lost to those Rippers.

At this rate, we'll lose
all our water.

Rippers must have come up
from some underground sub gate.

Well then, I know just
the young lady to help us find it.

Absolutely, sir.

Uhh.

Hmm, well, I'm so glad
you see things my way now.

You know what I see?

No.

What?

This big

honkin' booger

hangin' outta your left nostril.

If I was you,

I'd use this finger
to pick it out.

Uhh.

I win.

Yeah.

Lucky you.

And just wait till you see
what you've won.

- Excuse me.
- Ow!

Relax, it's only a locator.

This is your pulse.

Now I'll always be close
to your heart.

Your job is to penetrate
this sub gate we found,

which could be the entrance
to the Ripper's base.

Most of these are booby-trapped,
so if we hear a loud bang--

Sorry.

If not, congratulations,

you just found the Ripper's hideout.

Either way, I win.

Like a piece of cheese
at the end of a fishing hook.

That's you.

Ready.

- Move.
- Uh!

Rippers!

Arrgh!

Condor Control, Condor zero five,
I'm detecting Ripper activity.

Wha?

Oh, my God.

That's what you get
for messin' with me.

Mine.

Well, what do you know?

Am I close to your heart now,
Kesslee?

What happened
to the rest of you?

Butthead.

Cool.

Shit.

Don't shoot, don't shoot!

I thought the Rippers got you.

Hell, no.

Come on, let's go.

I ain't goin' back there.

Your gonna have
to kill me first.

No, I'm not.

'Cause I'm not gonna
go back there either.

We're free.

Oh, no.

We better go before
they come back for us.

You take the tank.

Are you sure?

Go, go, all right.

Rebecca!

Don't leave.

No! Rebecca, come on!

Rebecca, turn the engine off!

Kill the engine!

You're crazy!

Are YOU okay?

Sorry about the bonker
on the head.

I think I need
to go practice some more.

- No!
- Yes. Take that!

- No, no!
- Yes.

- Heeya!

You didn't have to rough
me up so bad, Becky.

Hmm.

Look, no hands.

You could do that for a living.

Look out!

You're face has been gutted,
Mr. Kesslee, sir.

To be honest,
your chances of seeing again

are as likely
as your arm growing back.

However,
I can make you comfortable.

No!

No pain killers.

Do I make myself clear, Doctor?

Yes, sir.

Good.

Now, what is the prognosis?

Not good, sir.

Not good.

Excuse me.

- Sir, this is Mr. Che'tsai.
- What? What?

He-- uh, Che'tsai.

He, uh, specializes in cybergenic
reconstructive surgery.

- Oh.
- Go ahead.

All the king's
horses and all the king's men

wish they had
the technology I have.

If you want my services...

the fee will be 100,000 liters.

Doctor, come here.

You see the glass half empty.

I prefer to see it half full.

- Don't you agree, Sergeant?
- I don't understand.

Uh!

We can't be in here.
We're trespassing.

What if somebody catches us?

Jet, there she blow, matey.

Do-do-do, do-do-do.

Put it down, it's not funny.

What is it?

Raise your hands
to the sky gods.

The rains are coming.

But it hasn't rained
since the comet.

I need metal
to complete my ark.

I'll be taking your tank.

No, see, you won't be
taking the tank.

The Rippers are waiting.

I must save them
from the floods.

Tell me the security code.

Bam!

- Ha ha.
- Oh!

All right, listen, rain lady,

where'd you get this?

I made it.

- Liar.
- She's lying.

How do you know?

Well, it's a little something
I designed.

It's a spectrum analyzer
which recognizes

voice pattern
stress modulations.

It detects lies.

But I only speak the truth.

Liar.

All right, all right, I, uh, I caught
it in my fish pond on a stick.

Liar.

All right, all right,
all right, all right.

They were selling a girl's stuff
after they had taken her prisoner.

I bought it.

It was sad, really.

What'd they do with the girl?

First, tell me what Water
and Power want with her.

We're not Water and Power.
We're escaped prisoners.

Oh, in that case.

Oh, it was terrible.

They put her to work
in town at Liquid Silver.

Come on, Jet,
we gotta go get her.

To the bat tank.

Wait, wait, we can't go into town
with those Water and Power vehicles.

Oh, oh, oh, you can fix them up
here in my garage.

Ha ha.

Da-da-da-da-da...

POW!

Yes.

Ba-ba-ba-pow!

Hey, Jet.

Nice work.

They took the bait, sir,

and they're on their way
to Liquid Silver for the girl.

Make sure I get the girl first,
Sergeant.

Yes, sir.

I'm outta here.

What you got there,
little boy?

No, I don't need none
of that today, thank you.

Nice hats.

Rebecca, do you know
what kind of place this is?

Yeah, come on,
let's split up and find Sam.

Hi, how many would you like?

I got a guy here who wants
the school girl thing.

For real.

Introduce him to Sam.

She's just a girl.

Not for long.

Dancers, welcome to Liquid Silver.

I could get you out.

First, we are going
to create your look.

Girls, please step up
to the glamour port in front of you.

Your dressing room is equipped with
the latest Liquid Silver fashions.

We will start by shaving
all inappropriate hair.

If your ears are not pierced,
you'll find an ear puncher before you.

The crop top.

The anklets and the mules.

The spiraling arm cuff.

And now, the wrap skirt.

You have now finished
creating your look.

If you have followed
instructions properly,

you should appear as so.

Lock up your sons.

Now, you stop this childish
behavior this instant.

Do you want me to tell your mother
how naughty you've been?

Do you?

Don't take my silver,
it's all the money I've got.

Silver, I'll have that.

Uhh.

The clapper.

That's what you get
for being a perv.

Hey, you're gonna get fired if you
keep treatin' the guests like that.

Rebecca!

There she is!

- Uh-oh.
- And the little girl!

- Sam, come on.
- Get them!

- Hey!
- Guards!

Hurry!

Kill her.

Kill them both.

Not a good idea.

Now, everybody drop your guns,

or I scrape off all her makeup.

This might take me
a really long time.

Ha ha.

Sam, is this the lady that put you
in a room with that scumbag?

Yeah.

A ten-year-old girl.

She has to learn sometime.

Look, you got two choices--

Either I improve
that lovely hairdo...

Ooh!

Or you sing for us.

Ooh!

Fine.

All right, what do you
want me to sing?

"Let's do it."

Cole Porter, 1928.

Ooh!

I hate that song.

I'll cut it Off.

♪ When the little bluebird ♪

♪ Who has never said a word ♪

♪ Starts to sing spring spring ♪

Louder!

I can't hear you.

♪ When the little blue clerk
in the middle of his work ♪

♪ Starts a tune to the moon up above ♪

Everybody.

♪ It is nature that's all
simply telling us to fall in love ♪

Come on, you too!

♪ And that's why ♪

♪ Birds do it bees do it ♪

♪ Even educated fleas do it ♪

♪ Let's do it ♪

♪ Let's fall in love ♪

♪ I'm sure giraffes on the sly do it ♪

♪ And the hippopotami do it ♪

♪ Let's do it ♪

♪ Let's fall in love ♪

♪ They say that
upper-crust ladies do it ♪

♪ When a gentleman struts ♪

♪ Come on doll
why don't we do it ♪

♪ Or don't you have the guts? ♪

♪ Penguins in flocks
on the rocks do it ♪

♪ Even little cuckoos
in their clocks do it ♪

♪ Let's do it
Let's fall in love ♪

What the hell is that?

Sounds like Cole Porter
to me, sir.

End it!

Yes, sir.

♪ I'm sure sometimes
on the sly you do it ♪

♪ Maybe later you and I might do it ♪

♪ Let's do it ♪

♪ Let's fall in love ♪

♪ Hey, you in the bathrobes ♪

♪ Let's do it ♪

♪ Let's, let's fa-- ♪

Move, come on,
let's go, let's go now!

San-H

Jet, Jet, Jet, where's Sam?

' Sam!
' Sam!

San-j!

Rebecca!

Let go!

Rebecca!

San-H

Sam!
You let her go!

- Sam!
- Sam, Sam!

Help!

San-H

Don't worry, your friends 'II
be along shortly to save you,

my little princess.

The Rippers?
Are you kidding?

You don't know what
they're like.

Are you out of your mind?

Listen to me,
you haven't seen these things.

They're not human.
They're demons from hell.

I'm telling you.

Look, if we're gonna rescue Sam,
we're gonna need an army.

They're an army.

Yeah, but--

Rebecca, we've been combing
the desert all night.

We'll never find
the Ripper's sub gate.

Look, rain lady said the Ripper's sub
gate was around here somewhere.

Near two rocks.

I can't believe we're doing this.

Rebecca?
Rebecca?

Rebecca, where are you?

What's going on?
Rebecca?

Rebecca!

Rebecca!

Ah!

Jet, what took you so long?

What?

Uh!

What?

See hell, go to hell.

Duhh.

Oh, my God,
it's the elephant man.

Hey, Quasimodo guy,
we're hungry in here!

How 'bout some food.

- Ah!
- Now, you've done it.

[Coughing

We're dead.

So, like... what are your names?

- Give me the gas.
- And like, what are you doing here?

Is it true what they say
about guys with big shoes?

- Ooh.
- Yeah.

He asked you a question.
Answer it!

Hey, I have two words for you.

Brush your teeth!

They're spies.

They got Water and Power
logos all over 'em.

Yeah, I was thinkin' that, right?

But then, I was also thinkin' that
if they are Water and Power,

No, no, no, don't you.

Why would they come here
advertising it?

Check it out.

Tattoos.

Give me that.

I wonder where else
they got 'em.

I don't think those are tattoos.

I mean, like, who would want
some alphabet soup?

I'd rather have
a dragon or some--

somethin' more
Aquarian related, you dig?

They're prisoner stamps.

- Mine.
- Prisoner, my ass.

That's exactly what
they want us to think.

Or better yet, that isn't what
they want us to think.

That way, we'll think
what they think we might think.

But actually--

- Booga.
- Huh?

Try not to speak.

How much did they pay you
to spy on us?

$2.15.

Shut up!

You should go easy
on the truth serum.

It might send 'em off.

Hey.

On second thought,
that could be to our advantage.

That's good, I'm tired of asking
them questions anyway.

- I say we kill 'em.
- I say we hump 'em.

I say we get crumpets and tea.

Tasty.
Crumpets and tea.

All in favor of crumpets
and tea, say "aye."

Ave.

Shut up! Ain't gonna be
no crumpets and tea.

We're gonna take 'em outside
right now and waste 'em.

I think they're nice.
I-- I say we let 'em go.

Let 'em go? They're spies!
I'm gonna kill 'em myself.

- Wait.
- Whoa!

Now, I don't remember anybody
puttin' you in charge, T-Saint.

Yeah, he's right.

We're a committee now.
We'll vote on it.

Dig, all in favor of killin' 'em,
raise your tail.

And all those in favor
of not killin' 'em...

- Gentlemen, it's a tie.
- Coin toss time.

This is pathetic.

Hey, no cheating.

Ready, one, two...

I've got you.

- Hi.
- Hi.

Do you suppose me and Jet
could go to the bathroom?

Uh, it's totally negatory.

- Hi.
- Hi.

You know, me and Jet
can make it worth your while.

Put a little smile
on that kangaroo face.

You got baseball cards?

Oh, but-- no.

But, um, I-- I know where
I could get you some.

She does.

It's totally negatory.

No, wait, wait, wait, uh, uh--
come on.

Now, you don't want to be like
those other manimals in there.

We're not manimals.

What are you?

The army wanted to build
the ultimate soldier,

so they messed with, uh,
kangaroo NDA and--

You mean DNA.

Yeah.

And they created us.

And then the war ended
and they told Johnny to poison us.

Johnny Prophet?

Yeah.

Why?

Because he was
the one that made us.

But then he didn't do it because
he decided that he liked us too much.

I have this great idea.

You, me, and Jet go for a visit
with Johnny Prophet.

Well, when he get's back, yeah.

Uh, well, maybe.

Where did he go?

To, uh, uh, New Zealand

for a little while to, uh,
help some scientist guy

who's makin' sea water
so you could drink it.

Does she need to know that?

Did they need to know that?

- Uh, I was just--
- Get your ass outta here!

Uh!

Go ahead WP-2.

Hey, you guys, hey!

We have a shipment coming tonight
from Red Sands, over.

Water and Power's gettin' some
kind of shipment in.

What kind of shipment?

I don't know, all I know
it's coming in from Red Sands.

- When?
- Tonight.

What if it's a arms shipment?

It's a trap.

What if they want us to think
it's a trap, but it's really not?

That way, when we get there,
it could still be one.

Or better yet, what if--

- Booga!
- Huh?

Why don't you make yourself useful
and go and choke on something.

Oh, that's cold, man.

Okay, we're gonna give you chicks
a chance to prove yourself.

Call it an initiation.

You fail, you die.

Yeah, but first
you gotta strip.

That's not in the plan.

why not?

Ha ha ha.

Hold on, cats.

All right.

All you have to do
is confirm the shipment.

Copacetic?

You're gonna use this.

But you have to be
really careful with it.

- Let me see.
- Because I designed it with a--

I, uh-- I especially built it

with a visual send processor.

It's a little invention that I
invented myself, I might add.

Smile.

Oh, and these are so
you can hear us.

This one's for you.

And this one I made
especially for you.

- Hmm.
- Let me help you put it on

because it's kind of tricky to--
Oh, I'm sorry, how clumsy of me.

- Ohh.
- What?

- Get off.
- It was hard to clip on.

Whaa...

Okay, so, we can hear you.

But how are you gonna hear us?

Just speak facin' West.

We'll hear you all right.

The code will be, "On the road."
Yeah.

He's Jack Kerouac incarnated.

Uh, we-- we're all reincarnated.

That means you're not really dead
or you just think you're dead--

Who'd you used to be?

A cop.

Figures.

I used to be Ted Smith,
assistant manager

at Chief Auto Parts
in Cincinnati, Ohio.

- Oh, fascinating.
- Oh, thank you.

I was a dog, but because
I was really good,

they, uh, moved me up
to human being status.

Uh, sort of.

[bonk
Uh!

Strike.

North, wait--
South, West.

Mr. Kerouac,
I'm sending you an image.

Oh, he-- here it comes.

This is
the south side of the warehouse.

- Hey, hey, hey.
- That's gotta be it.

- Let's move!
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

All I see is a couple of workers
unloading some crates.

For all you know,
that could be toilet paper.

I don't see no Water and Power
vehicles out there.

Tell you the truth,
I don't see jack shit.

We need more proof.

Yeah, I'll give you more proof.

I've got your proof.

- Whoops, there it is.
- Oh, my.

Tasty.

Damn it.

We gotta get in closer if we're
gonna take pictures of those weapons.

What are you doing?

Those guys'll mangle you.

Jet, they're men.

Move it or lose it.

- Whoop
- Ooh!

- Becca.
- Mm, mm, mm, mm.

What's this for?

Work with me, girl.

What do you mean,
work with you?

What are you doing?

Uh, fabulous.

I have died and gone
to hard body heaven.

Shaniqua, don't dally.

You are giving me realness.

Delfrieda, darling, be a good little
girl and let's get set up.

Over there by the crates.

Take off your shirt.

What are you doing here?
This is a restricted area.

I know you're not talking
to me like this.

- Obviously, you didn't get the memo.
- What memo?

Darling, we are doing a men
of Water and Power calendar.

- Oh.
- And I think you would be

the perfect supermodel cover.

Oh.

You mean, we get
to be calendar guys?

Can I be December?

Baby, you can be
any month you want.

Yeah!

LeJeanne, have we left ourselves
in our purse?

- Shoot the men near the crates.
- Uh!

It's more... manly.

Quickly.

Come on, get up,
get up, come on.

- All right, here we go, okay.
- Oh, my goodness.

You are so beautiful,
you're making me sick.

Smile for me.

Yes!

Yes.

What's this?

I don't know.

Let me see you--
open your shirt.

Quick, quick, all right, now smile,
let me see those teeth.

Come on, okay, yes, yes,
yes, I like that.

Those are definitely weapons
in those crates.

We better move.

No way, the whole thing
is so convenient, man.

If they wanna be down with us,

tell 'em to hijack
the shipment themself.

If they pull it off,
then we'll think about it.

Fine, I'll have the goods
to you in an hour.

Asshole.

Oh!

The glamour has left
the building.

There's no magic, there's no sparkle,
there's no je ne sais quoi.

Come, Jetina.

Hold your chest,
come on, brilliant, that's great.

Jetina, come.

Oh, God, that's great!

Yes, you're so brilliant,
you're a supermodel--

The super has left
the model, girl.

Come on.

So, when's the calendar
comin' out?

Mmm, let's go!

Turbo boosters.

Ba-dah!

What the hell?

Suck on this, dirtbag!

And keep your ass
out of the fast lane!

Damn!

Jet, what are
you wearin' tonight?

Jetness, remember me?

Hijacking shipment, me, you.

Jet, hello.

Shit, I've got a malfunction.

Well fix it fast and get
your narrow little butt over here.

I wouldn't want you
to miss all this fun.

Do you mind?
I'm tryin' to have a little lunch.

Oh, now you're workin' my tits.

You guys can't shoot
worth a shit.

- Uh!
- Ha, hey oh, ha, ha, ha!

Damn, where is she?

Road kill.

I'm too young for this shit.

Hey, I guess we got rid
of her, huh?

Jack!

- Uh, uh!
- Hi.

Ha, ha.
Feeling a little inadequate?

- I'm out of here.
- Go!

Hey, girl,
glad you could join me.

I'm in the semi

and I got the goods.

Rebecca, can you hear me?

There's a big cliff
coming up on you.

Now, hit the breaks.

Hit the brakes!

Oh, brakes aren't
working girl, plan B.

Get out of there quick.
Jump!

Aw, shit!

Ah!

Rebecca!

Grab on.

I came as fast as I could.

I know you probably
didn't need help.

But I got here
as fast as I could.

I had it all under control, Booga.

That squash is really good.

A toast to our newest members.

May their energies enhance
the spirit of our circle.

Yeah. Here, here.

Ahhh, great.
Now, let's check out the weapons.

After the ceremony,
the weapons'll be disposed of.

Why?
After all that?

Uh, we don't use guns.

Uh-huh.

You don't use guns?

No, Prophet taught us to fight
without the corruption of guns.

- Yeah.
- Let us all hold hands.

Oh, great.

Please.

I'd like to recite a poem
that I've written.

Oh, cool.

Laugh, you butterfly

that dances in the mud.

Laugh, you piece
of dental floss.

- You burn me toast.
- Yeah.

Laugh, you pig
that flies in the sky

with rainbow Twinkie fluid

and three liters
of high-octane petrol.

Oh, yeah.

- Whew.
- Yeah, heh, heh.

- Bravo.
- Yes, sir.

Hit it again.

Thank you.

NOW, let's Pray-

Uh! Uh!

Come on, Jet.

Here we go...

What are you doing?

We're praying
to the spirit of freedom.

Prophet taught us religion.

Hallelujah!

Damn right.

- Come on.
- Oh, no, I can't, I'm not good at--

It's okay, I have condoms.

Yay, Jet!

Booga, where'd
you learn to dance?

Oh, wow.

It's one of Johnny Prophet's
dreams.

See how the people
are all free

and the water just
comes down from the sky

and it don't cost nothin'.

With flowers and rainbows.

It's beautiful.

This is just
like Christmas, isn't it?

- Mm-hm.
- I love opening things.

Especially when
you don't know what's inside.

I remember the first Christmas
I got to open something.

- Mm-hm.
- It was a book.

I didn't know what the title was
'cause the cover was ripped off.

But it had these
really cool pictures--

- Booga!
- Okay, okay, I'm done.

Let's get this one.

Two, three.

It's dirt.
This is bullshit.

We've been had.

Good job.

Come on, help me open
this one over here.

One, two, three.

Jesus Christ.

Johnny Prophet.

Motherfucker Kesslee
killed Prophet!

Okay guys, here's the plan.

Water and Power has mines
all the way from here to here.

No, there's no way through 'em.

How 'bout we go over 'em?

Yeah, that's great.

How you plan
on sneakin' over the top?

- Fly?
- Yep.

We've got the stolen flyer.

All we have to do is paint it back
the way it was and pow.

What happens when they ask
for a security code?

- Then what, huh?
- Yeah, then what?

Well, uh,
maybe we could, uh, wait

till another flyer does
a routine scout.

We capture his ID code
and we're in.

Brilliant.
Okay, I will meet you there.

Wait, what do you mean
meet us there?

I'm not goin' in
without my tank.

- Gentlemen.
- Let's go.

Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa.

We're listenin' to her now?

I thought we were committee.
We gotta vote.

Okay-

Everybody for that pathetic plan,
raise your paw.

Majority, let's go-

All right, let's hit it.

Committee.

Condor zero four,
respond when airborne.

Okay, okay,
I got us an ID code.

- Cool.
- You are just too cool.

All right,
now, try to sound relaxed.

And whatever you do,
only repeat what I tell you.

- Got it?
- Yeah.

Okay-

Condor Control,
this is Condor zero four, over.

- What did she say?
- Okay.

Condor Control, Condo, um, I mean,
um, Condor four, come in, over.

Condor four,
we just sent you out.

You must have a stabilizer
in your left modifier.

- Okay.
- Come on, go ahead.

Must be a, um, stabilizer in the left,
in the modifier.

Condor four, why aren't you using
your assigned frequency?

- Must be a short haircut.
- What?

- No!
- Ow.

- Uhhh.
- Short circuit.

Yeeah!

Whoa! Aah!

Get 'em!

Just repeat
what she tells you.

You're blowing it!

Say again, zero four.

You're blowing it, Donner,
just listen to me okay?

- No!
- We're dead.

We're dead.

Condor zero four,
you said you're dead?

All right, that's it.

Turn this boat around
or you're gonna get us all killed.

Now! Do it now!

No!
We're going in!

You are gonna listen to me.

For once, you're gonna shut
your deformed face

and you're gonna let me
do my stuff!

Have you got that?

All right.

Home plate,
this is Condor four.

We have pirate interference.

Obviously, a Ripper ploy
to confuse you.

Now, here's the situation--

This bird has got no electrical

and in about two minutes,
we're gonna be kissing gravel.

So, listen to me,
you spam sucker.

Either you get off your butt
and clear us for landing,

or I'm going to fly this rocket
right up your socket!

Uh, roger, zero four,
you're cleared for hangar A.

- Cool.
- Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, oh boy.

'Bout time.

Damn.

Yeeah!

Start the water.

Shoving a small,
innocent child down the pipe

and then slowly
letting her drown.

Is that wrong?

Move out!

Looks all clear.

Let's go, daddy-o.

- Did you hear that?
- What? I don't hear anything.

Shh! Must be 150 of them.

Hundred and sixty-three.
We're toast.

Actually, 164.

Definitely.

Rebecca.

Are you okay?

Ohhh.

Okay, come on, come on.

Go on.

GO, go! go, go-

No!

You see that light down there?

Light is not our bag.

Yeah, we're much better in the dark
like Count Chocula.

Dracula, fool.

Count Chocula is the guy
on the laundry detergent box.

Duhh!

- If I asked you something--
- No, he is-- he's right.

Shut up.

Thank you.

Could we just figure out
what we're gonna do, please?

Well, there are power boxes down
at the end of this aisle.

If only we could get to them.

Later, cats.

No!

Sir, we've got action.

Let's get this over with quickly,
Sergeant.

There he is!

Uh!

Hang on a second,
we've lost power.

What the hell happened
to the lights?

Guard!
Watch our back.

- Oh, no, Deet?
- Deetee, come on, man.

Deetee?

Hold on, man,
hold on.

Deetee!

Oh, my God.

No.

I'll see you cats
at that big jam in the sky.

Oh, no, no.

No.

Help.

Rebecca, help.

Hang on, I hear you!

Can't breathe.

Please, help me.

I can't breathe.

Please help me.

Heh, heh, heh, heh.

If you're looking for Sam,
she's in the pipe!

What, again?
Piece of shit.

Now, there's something
about you that's different.

I think it--

I'll tell you what's different.
I've lost my patience.

And you've lost the fight.

Oh, I played Yo"-

I played you
like an old fiddle.

Well, uh, maybe we could, uh,

wait till another flyer does
a routine scout.

We capture his ID code
and we're in.

Brilliant.

Jet.

She's been workin'
for you this whole time.

No, you were.

You're a walking, talking,
living microphone.

I had them planted
all over your body.

Thank you for serving up
the Rippers.

Uh!

They'll make great shoe leather
for my soldiers.

Uh!

Need a hand?

Come on, get UP-

- What happened?
- Oh, I'm so pretty.

I'm gonna hit you so hard
you're children will be born bruised.

Get up!

P-P-P-P-p-pow.

Uh!

Marvelous, isn't it?

State of the art
holographic technology.

Mm.

You know what it means?

It means I can hurt you,
but you can't hurt me.

I won and you know it.

Come on.
Say it, say it.

Just say I won.

- I won.
- No! No!

Say I won!

I won.

Hmm, say it.

And the little girl lives.

I'd rather her die
than live as your slave.

Uh!

What took you so long?

Well, well, well.

I win.

What's the matter with you?

Finish him!

Aw, shit.
Don't tell me you're out of ammo.

Don't move a muscle.

I hate wastin' good beer
for nothin'.

Thirsty?

Get her!

Screw this, man.

Uh!

Die!

Die!

Higher, higher!

Come on!

One for the road.

Die!

I'm melting, I'm melting.

Is that the best you can do?

Try this close
to your heart, asshole!

Did I hurt you yet?

It's not over-- over.

It's not over-- It's not-- It's not--
It's not-- It's not--

Help.

Hang on, I hear you!

Help, help.

- Hold on.
- Rebecca.

Fuck me.

How many times
do I have to tell you?

I don't want to.

It's over.

Don't move!

Down!

See ya in the next world.

Atten-hut!

General, uh, we have
taken out the airfields

and now have control
of the bridge.

Awaiting your next command, sir.

I, uh, I took the bullets
out of their guns.

Real smart, huh?

Booga, that was very smart.

Mm-mm-mm-mm.

Giggles.

Yes.

What do you say
we blow this joint?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeeah!

Rebecca, hit the brakes!

Waterfall ahead!

Shut up,
you'll ruin the surprise.

Yeeah!

Ker-pow!