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1
00:00:02,436 --> 00:00:05,106
♪
2
00:00:19,786 --> 00:00:21,120
What's up?
3
00:00:21,121 --> 00:00:23,289
Where is everybody?
4
00:00:23,290 --> 00:00:24,290
They're so late.
5
00:00:24,291 --> 00:00:25,625
That's so unprofessional of them.
6
00:00:25,626 --> 00:00:26,959
You should talk to them.
7
00:00:26,960 --> 00:00:28,794
The meeting ended ten minutes ago, Sam.
8
00:00:28,795 --> 00:00:30,329
‐You're late. ‐(scoffs) What?
9
00:00:30,330 --> 00:00:33,266
Someone changed the meeting
time and didn't tell me?
10
00:00:33,267 --> 00:00:34,467
‐That's messed up.
It was probably Austin. ‐Nope.
11
00:00:34,468 --> 00:00:35,968
‐Nope. ‐That kid sucks.
12
00:00:35,969 --> 00:00:37,403
He's had it out for me since day one.
13
00:00:37,404 --> 00:00:39,438
‐Sam. ‐I'm telling you.
He's, like, genuinely
14
00:00:39,439 --> 00:00:40,773
‐very jealous of me. ‐Sam, you're drunk.
15
00:00:40,774 --> 00:00:42,408
What?
16
00:00:42,409 --> 00:00:44,277
You're a holding a bottle of
vodka right in front of me.
17
00:00:44,278 --> 00:00:45,878
This is water.
18
00:00:45,879 --> 00:00:46,979
It's water, and honestly...
19
00:00:46,980 --> 00:00:48,447
‐Can I smell it? ‐Would it matter?
20
00:00:48,448 --> 00:00:51,384
‐Yeah, it actually does matter.
‐Dude, it doesn't matter.
21
00:00:51,385 --> 00:00:54,120
I could do this job drunk, sober, juggling.
22
00:00:54,121 --> 00:00:55,454
I mean, come on, you name it, I could do it.
23
00:00:55,455 --> 00:00:56,622
This is ridiculous.
24
00:00:56,623 --> 00:00:59,125
We're not winning Pulitzers here, man.
25
00:00:59,126 --> 00:01:02,562
I don't want to, like,
rain on your parade, but, like,
26
00:01:02,563 --> 00:01:05,298
"Hey, here's ten dogs that
look the cast of Gossip Girl"?
27
00:01:05,299 --> 00:01:06,966
Sam, what are you doing?
28
00:01:06,967 --> 00:01:09,035
What am I doing?!
29
00:01:09,036 --> 00:01:11,237
That is an interesting question.
30
00:01:11,238 --> 00:01:13,539
What are we doing here?
31
00:01:13,540 --> 00:01:16,542
We just sit around and friggin'
talk to each other
32
00:01:16,543 --> 00:01:18,578
‐and wait to die?
‐Listen, here's the good news.
33
00:01:18,579 --> 00:01:20,980
You don't have to worry
about any of this stuff
34
00:01:20,981 --> 00:01:22,748
ever again, okay?
35
00:01:22,749 --> 00:01:24,617
Because you're fired.
36
00:01:24,618 --> 00:01:26,485
Fired?
37
00:01:26,486 --> 00:01:27,987
(scoffs)
38
00:01:27,988 --> 00:01:30,089
You're firing me?
39
00:01:30,090 --> 00:01:31,657
‐Yeah. ‐Wow.
40
00:01:31,658 --> 00:01:34,760
‐Because I am a woman who
said something true. ‐No.
41
00:01:34,761 --> 00:01:36,596
Oh, my God. Seriously?
42
00:01:36,597 --> 00:01:38,831
I'm gonna find a lawsuit in there.
I can guarantee it.
43
00:01:38,832 --> 00:01:40,499
‐For what? ‐And I'm gonna find it...
44
00:01:40,500 --> 00:01:42,468
For you being drunk every
day and showing up to work?
45
00:01:42,469 --> 00:01:44,372
‐That's why you're fired. ‐You're fired.
46
00:01:46,239 --> 00:01:47,273
Sam, just get out, please.
47
00:01:47,274 --> 00:01:48,708
‐I'm not leaving! ‐You...
48
00:01:48,709 --> 00:01:50,443
‐You have...
‐This is, this is happening now.
49
00:01:50,444 --> 00:01:52,244
I'm hanging out.
50
00:01:52,245 --> 00:01:53,813
‐Sam, I don't want to... Okay. ‐Nope.
51
00:01:53,814 --> 00:01:55,448
‐I'm not going anywhere. ‐(sighs)
52
00:01:55,449 --> 00:01:57,917
‐Too bad. So sad.
I'm staying in your office. ‐All right.
53
00:01:57,918 --> 00:01:59,752
‐I'm occupying the space.
‐I didn't want to do it like this,
54
00:01:59,753 --> 00:02:01,954
‐but you leave no choice.
Okay. ‐What are you doing?
55
00:02:01,955 --> 00:02:03,422
I'll tell you what I'm not doing is...
56
00:02:03,423 --> 00:02:05,391
I'm not putting my hands on
you and moving you myself,
57
00:02:05,392 --> 00:02:07,293
'cause that's not cool. All right?
58
00:02:07,294 --> 00:02:09,562
‐That's a Cuomo and I'm not doing that.
‐MAN: Security.
59
00:02:09,563 --> 00:02:10,963
Yeah, security, this is Bzzzzzzzzzz.
60
00:02:10,964 --> 00:02:12,932
‐Uh, sixth floor conference room.
‐Security?
61
00:02:12,933 --> 00:02:13,933
There's a burglar here.
62
00:02:13,934 --> 00:02:15,368
‐A short woman. ‐Give me this.
63
00:02:15,369 --> 00:02:16,969
‐Orange sweater. ‐Come on!
64
00:02:16,970 --> 00:02:18,237
‐Dark hair. No. ‐Let me talk to them.
65
00:02:18,238 --> 00:02:19,105
‐Get out... Sam.
‐Let me tell them the truth.
66
00:02:19,106 --> 00:02:20,406
Let me tell them the truth.
67
00:02:20,407 --> 00:02:21,607
‐Hi, this is... ‐God, you're strong.
68
00:02:21,608 --> 00:02:23,109
This is the aforementioned Sam.
69
00:02:23,110 --> 00:02:24,777
I was telling him something honest,
70
00:02:24,778 --> 00:02:26,779
‐and the patriarchy couldn't handle that.
‐(grunts)
71
00:02:26,780 --> 00:02:28,748
‐Do you hear me? ‐Oh, my God. Please.
72
00:02:28,749 --> 00:02:29,949
Let me have it! You know what?
73
00:02:29,950 --> 00:02:30,750
I quit!
74
00:02:30,751 --> 00:02:31,617
Aah!
75
00:02:31,618 --> 00:02:32,752
Ow!
76
00:02:32,753 --> 00:02:34,053
God!
77
00:02:34,054 --> 00:02:36,255
What the hell, Sam?
78
00:02:36,256 --> 00:02:37,256
Oh.
79
00:02:37,257 --> 00:02:40,559
‐MAN: Sir? Are you okay? ‐Oh, God.
80
00:02:40,560 --> 00:02:42,094
(breathes heavily)
81
00:02:42,095 --> 00:02:43,564
Oh, my God.
82
00:02:45,298 --> 00:02:47,900
♪ Onset, make youwork up sweat an' a ♪
83
00:02:47,901 --> 00:02:50,102
♪ Onset, make you ♪ ♪ Uh,
uh, uh, uh ♪
84
00:02:50,103 --> 00:02:51,904
♪ Onset, make youwork up sweat an' a ♪
85
00:02:51,905 --> 00:02:54,073
♪ Onset make youwork up sweat,
make ya ♪
86
00:02:54,074 --> 00:02:56,108
♪ Onset, make you work upsweat,
make ya ♪
87
00:02:56,109 --> 00:02:57,143
♪ Onset, make youwork up sweat ♪
88
00:02:57,144 --> 00:02:58,644
♪ Better the measure ♪
89
00:02:58,645 --> 00:03:00,479
♪ To make 'em all say,"Yes, sir" ♪
90
00:03:00,480 --> 00:03:01,949
♪ Oh, oh, oh. ♪
91
00:03:02,983 --> 00:03:04,350
SAMANTHA: I followed you on Instagram.
92
00:03:04,351 --> 00:03:05,951
I noticed that you haven't
followed me back yet,
93
00:03:05,952 --> 00:03:08,154
but I figured since they won't
give me your cell phone number,
94
00:03:08,155 --> 00:03:09,989
we could just, like, DM or something
95
00:03:09,990 --> 00:03:11,457
and keep it touch that way, or...
96
00:03:11,458 --> 00:03:12,892
‐Mm. ‐Oh,
I guess I can just email you, right?
97
00:03:12,893 --> 00:03:14,226
That's fine. Okay.
98
00:03:14,227 --> 00:03:15,561
‐I just don't want... ‐CAROL: Hurry up!
99
00:03:15,562 --> 00:03:17,963
I have my spiritual book
club meeting at 2:00,
100
00:03:17,964 --> 00:03:20,168
and I can't miss it because I'm the speaker.
101
00:03:23,937 --> 00:03:25,707
SIDNEY:
I sincerely hope you don't come back.
102
00:03:26,807 --> 00:03:28,908
I'm gonna miss you.
103
00:03:28,909 --> 00:03:31,444
Yeah.
104
00:03:31,445 --> 00:03:33,045
Hello, Smother.
105
00:03:33,046 --> 00:03:35,214
Hello, Beauty Girl.
106
00:03:35,215 --> 00:03:38,784
Is that your New York apartment in one bag?
107
00:03:38,785 --> 00:03:40,619
Can you not... can we not on the seat?
108
00:03:40,620 --> 00:03:42,321
Because it's clean. Okay, it's not. It's...
109
00:03:42,322 --> 00:03:44,459
(chuckles) It's fine.
110
00:03:46,960 --> 00:03:48,494
Thanks for not making me take the T.
111
00:03:48,495 --> 00:03:50,629
Oh. (chuckles)
112
00:03:50,630 --> 00:03:54,433
Who's‐who's that‐‐
your rehab boyfriend?
113
00:03:54,434 --> 00:03:57,371
No. That's my therapist. Sidney.
114
00:03:58,405 --> 00:04:01,107
Did you just talk about me the whole time?
115
00:04:01,108 --> 00:04:03,277
Yes, Mother. It's all about you.
116
00:04:06,413 --> 00:04:08,547
But yeah, basically.
117
00:04:08,548 --> 00:04:10,583
(engine starts)
118
00:04:10,584 --> 00:04:12,653
("You Sad" by Tkay Maidza playing)
119
00:04:14,621 --> 00:04:16,124
♪ You so sad ♪
120
00:04:21,762 --> 00:04:23,963
♪ Don't pull up to
tell me how you feel ♪
121
00:04:23,964 --> 00:04:26,966
♪ 'Cause it won't end
up going your way ♪
122
00:04:26,967 --> 00:04:30,035
♪ I've been fooled once,but I won't be fooled again ♪
123
00:04:30,036 --> 00:04:32,271
♪ My Z‐O‐D told me
we don't match today ♪
124
00:04:32,272 --> 00:04:34,240
♪ So I've been duckin',you're buggin' ♪
125
00:04:34,241 --> 00:04:36,375
♪ Like Frank,catch me if you can ♪
126
00:04:36,376 --> 00:04:38,210
♪ Catch me if you can ♪
127
00:04:38,211 --> 00:04:40,913
♪ Quite frankly,I think that you'll thank me ♪
128
00:04:40,914 --> 00:04:42,815
♪ For this when you understand ♪
129
00:04:42,816 --> 00:04:44,150
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah... ♪
130
00:04:44,151 --> 00:04:46,418
Oh. What are you getting
all tarted‐up for?
131
00:04:46,419 --> 00:04:49,054
I have an audition for Chicago,
national tour.
132
00:04:49,055 --> 00:04:50,990
‐Really? ‐I'm going to meet
133
00:04:50,991 --> 00:04:52,458
‐my new probation officer. ‐Well,
134
00:04:52,459 --> 00:04:53,926
let's hope, for your sake, he's a man,
135
00:04:53,927 --> 00:04:56,128
because men let things slide
136
00:04:56,129 --> 00:04:57,763
‐when you're pretty. ‐Oh.
137
00:04:57,764 --> 00:04:59,298
Thank you for saying I look pretty while I
138
00:04:59,299 --> 00:05:00,968
‐hide my withdrawal zits.
‐You're welcome.
139
00:05:03,303 --> 00:05:06,272
You're not actually
really covering your zits.
140
00:05:06,273 --> 00:05:08,040
‐That's a little... It's pale. ‐Okay.
141
00:05:08,041 --> 00:05:10,476
The color. Teeny. Teeny. Here...
142
00:05:10,477 --> 00:05:11,977
♪ Trying to playa big boy game... ♪
143
00:05:11,978 --> 00:05:14,113
WOMAN:Don't play the family card.
144
00:05:14,114 --> 00:05:16,448
I cannot right now.
145
00:05:16,449 --> 00:05:18,284
Mm‐mmm.
146
00:05:18,285 --> 00:05:19,618
Okay.
147
00:05:19,619 --> 00:05:21,287
(sighs) Bye. Bye.
148
00:05:21,288 --> 00:05:22,955
Sorry.
149
00:05:22,956 --> 00:05:24,490
My sister's husband just died.
150
00:05:24,491 --> 00:05:26,792
‐It's a whole thing. (sighs) ‐Oh.
151
00:05:26,793 --> 00:05:27,793
Well, he was 87.
152
00:05:27,794 --> 00:05:28,794
He lived a good life.
153
00:05:28,795 --> 00:05:29,795
And now she's very rich.
154
00:05:29,796 --> 00:05:31,730
But we're here to talk about you.
155
00:05:31,731 --> 00:05:32,967
So...
156
00:05:35,101 --> 00:05:36,135
Mm.
157
00:05:36,136 --> 00:05:37,603
I had one bad day
158
00:05:37,604 --> 00:05:39,638
that turned into a Class A misdemeanor.
159
00:05:39,639 --> 00:05:41,740
Otherwise known as reckless assault.
160
00:05:41,741 --> 00:05:45,411
Yes, but I did a 30‐day rehab program.
161
00:05:45,412 --> 00:05:48,447
I picked up enough trash
on the side of the road
162
00:05:48,448 --> 00:05:50,749
to make it all good, you know? I...
163
00:05:50,750 --> 00:05:52,251
I did the crime, but I did the time,
164
00:05:52,252 --> 00:05:53,786
and I'm not sure why I'm here.
165
00:05:53,787 --> 00:05:54,820
You're here
'cause someone got you the best deal
166
00:05:54,821 --> 00:05:56,956
‐I've ever seen.
‐Well, I think if it was
167
00:05:56,957 --> 00:05:58,123
the best deal you'd ever seen, I wouldn't be
168
00:05:58,124 --> 00:05:59,491
sitting in your office, I'd be watching
169
00:05:59,492 --> 00:06:01,227
every version of Pride
and Prejudice ever made.
170
00:06:01,228 --> 00:06:02,228
Okay.
171
00:06:02,229 --> 00:06:03,762
So, the State of New York
172
00:06:03,763 --> 00:06:05,064
has put under my care,
173
00:06:05,065 --> 00:06:06,799
and as part of your probation,
174
00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:11,136
um, you'll need to attend
meetings every day for 90 days.
175
00:06:11,137 --> 00:06:12,438
Go ahead and get someone at the meeting
176
00:06:12,439 --> 00:06:13,873
to sign that for you, okay?
177
00:06:13,874 --> 00:06:15,040
(sighs)
178
00:06:15,041 --> 00:06:16,642
Uh, all right. I'm just spitballing here.
179
00:06:16,643 --> 00:06:19,778
What if I hit three
meetings a day for 30 days?
180
00:06:19,779 --> 00:06:21,714
Some‐some fast math.
181
00:06:21,715 --> 00:06:24,750
Feel like I could just get sober real quick.
182
00:06:24,751 --> 00:06:27,052
Okay. You know what?
183
00:06:27,053 --> 00:06:30,256
(sighs)
184
00:06:30,257 --> 00:06:33,327
(mutters)
185
00:06:35,395 --> 00:06:38,332
♪
186
00:06:41,568 --> 00:06:43,135
Hi.
187
00:06:43,136 --> 00:06:44,470
‐Hi. ‐(chuckles)
188
00:06:44,471 --> 00:06:46,071
‐I'm Olivia. ‐Samantha.
189
00:06:46,072 --> 00:06:47,139
You're new.
190
00:06:47,140 --> 00:06:48,440
How can you tell?
191
00:06:48,441 --> 00:06:49,441
That's easy.
192
00:06:49,442 --> 00:06:50,544
You're vibrating.
193
00:06:51,444 --> 00:06:53,381
Oh.
194
00:06:58,485 --> 00:06:59,752
Who's this?
195
00:06:59,753 --> 00:07:01,086
Uh, this is Samantha.
196
00:07:01,087 --> 00:07:02,121
Samantha, say hi to James.
197
00:07:02,122 --> 00:07:03,088
Hi, James.
198
00:07:03,089 --> 00:07:04,123
Hey.
199
00:07:04,124 --> 00:07:05,157
So, what brings you here today?
200
00:07:05,158 --> 00:07:07,960
Oh, uh, public intoxication,
201
00:07:07,961 --> 00:07:09,295
destruction of personal property,
202
00:07:09,296 --> 00:07:10,629
almost blinding my coworker.
203
00:07:10,630 --> 00:07:12,131
Being awesome.
204
00:07:12,132 --> 00:07:13,132
Sounds epic.
205
00:07:13,133 --> 00:07:15,034
I'm gonna go check in
206
00:07:15,035 --> 00:07:16,402
with my harem of sponsees.
207
00:07:16,403 --> 00:07:17,770
‐Excuse me. ‐Yeah, no, of course.
208
00:07:17,771 --> 00:07:21,740
‐Great. (clears throat) ‐Mm‐hmm.
Mm‐hmm. Mm‐hmm. Mm.
209
00:07:21,741 --> 00:07:24,209
All right, yo,
so we can keep our thing a secret,
210
00:07:24,210 --> 00:07:25,444
unless you want to talk about it,
211
00:07:25,445 --> 00:07:27,446
or we can just pretend
like it never happened.
212
00:07:27,447 --> 00:07:29,281
Talk about what?
213
00:07:29,282 --> 00:07:30,751
Last Thanksgiving.
214
00:07:33,653 --> 00:07:35,788
Yikes. You don't remember.
215
00:07:35,789 --> 00:07:37,456
Oh, no.
216
00:07:37,457 --> 00:07:40,592
What? There's a lot about the
last 12 years I don't remember.
217
00:07:40,593 --> 00:07:41,794
Yeah, then forget about it.
218
00:07:41,795 --> 00:07:43,262
Don't even worry... I didn't say anything.
219
00:07:43,263 --> 00:07:44,465
‐It's fine. ‐Forget about what?
220
00:07:46,099 --> 00:07:47,466
Okay.
221
00:07:47,467 --> 00:07:51,603
Last Thanksgiving,
you and I met at Good Time Sally's.
222
00:07:51,604 --> 00:07:52,604
‐Met? ‐Yeah.
223
00:07:52,605 --> 00:07:54,406
We met at Good Time Sally's.
224
00:07:54,407 --> 00:07:56,775
We met once on the bar,
225
00:07:56,776 --> 00:07:58,277
and, uh, once in the bathroom.
226
00:07:58,278 --> 00:08:00,512
‐Oh. ‐Okay, that's enough. ‐Yeah.
227
00:08:00,513 --> 00:08:03,150
‐Go sit down. ‐Yeah.
Nice to meet you, Sam.
228
00:08:06,786 --> 00:08:08,320
Is that... is that something?
229
00:08:08,321 --> 00:08:10,389
You guys gossip a lot for a place
230
00:08:10,390 --> 00:08:11,623
that's supposed to be anonymous.
231
00:08:11,624 --> 00:08:13,559
Um, can you please
232
00:08:13,560 --> 00:08:16,295
sign this thing that proves I was here?
233
00:08:16,296 --> 00:08:18,731
Not 'till after the meeting, I'm afraid.
(chuckles)
234
00:08:18,732 --> 00:08:21,133
‐Oh, that's, like, 45 minutes.
‐It's actually longer, 'cause
235
00:08:21,134 --> 00:08:23,469
‐I like to schmooze afterwards.
‐Yeah, but I'm not one of them,
236
00:08:23,470 --> 00:08:25,304
‐so... ‐No, but if you're ever looking
237
00:08:25,305 --> 00:08:26,941
for more than a signature, give me a call.
238
00:08:28,775 --> 00:08:31,243
This is not something you want to do alone.
239
00:08:31,244 --> 00:08:33,045
I don't want to do this all.
240
00:08:33,046 --> 00:08:35,647
♪ Watch your back, watchyour back,
feel the contact ♪
241
00:08:35,648 --> 00:08:37,583
♪ Can I get a boom,can I get a boom, boom?
♪
242
00:08:37,584 --> 00:08:39,818
♪ Watch your back, watchyour back,
feel the contact ♪
243
00:08:39,819 --> 00:08:41,987
♪ Contact, contact,give me room ♪
244
00:08:41,988 --> 00:08:44,156
♪ Turn me up, turn me up,here we, here we go ♪
245
00:08:44,157 --> 00:08:46,492
♪ First up to bat,contact on a John Doe ♪
246
00:08:46,493 --> 00:08:48,327
♪ Fresh fitted on the one‐two ♪
247
00:08:48,328 --> 00:08:50,929
♪ Rhythm I jam on a fish stick,played‐out gimmick... ♪
248
00:08:50,930 --> 00:08:53,632
The prodigal daughter returns.
249
00:08:53,633 --> 00:08:56,702
Wow. You actually learned
something in Catholic school?
250
00:08:56,703 --> 00:08:58,103
Oh, I had one of the good ones.
251
00:08:58,104 --> 00:09:00,472
‐Yes, you did. ‐Oh!
252
00:09:00,473 --> 00:09:02,441
My beautiful Samantha.
253
00:09:02,442 --> 00:09:03,976
‐Aah! ‐Aah! How've you been?
254
00:09:03,977 --> 00:09:05,577
Ah, you know, my sister's
255
00:09:05,578 --> 00:09:07,446
an asshole, and Zack's a little TikTok star.
256
00:09:07,447 --> 00:09:10,149
‐Wow, you're such a stage mom.
‐Yeah, but a hot stage mom.
257
00:09:10,150 --> 00:09:11,884
(trills)
258
00:09:11,885 --> 00:09:13,886
Tommy, two beers, two shots.
259
00:09:13,887 --> 00:09:15,120
‐None for me, thanks. ‐Coming right up.
260
00:09:15,121 --> 00:09:17,489
Oh, my Samantha is back in town.
261
00:09:17,490 --> 00:09:19,725
We're gonna party like when Tom
was still with the Patriots.
262
00:09:19,726 --> 00:09:21,593
Mm‐hmm. (laughs)
263
00:09:21,594 --> 00:09:23,562
Oh, man.
264
00:09:23,563 --> 00:09:24,963
Yeah, I can't.
265
00:09:24,964 --> 00:09:26,398
You're Samantha Fink.
266
00:09:26,399 --> 00:09:27,766
You're the Russian‐Jewish tank.
267
00:09:27,767 --> 00:09:29,435
I know, but I'm hanging up my jersey.
268
00:09:29,436 --> 00:09:31,236
All right, suit yourself.
269
00:09:31,237 --> 00:09:33,939
‐(short chuckle) ‐I'll have yours.
270
00:09:33,940 --> 00:09:35,774
♪ On the mic I'm gonnamurder ya,
tear you up... ♪
271
00:09:35,775 --> 00:09:37,576
Ah.
272
00:09:37,577 --> 00:09:39,611
♪ Until now, when I caught you ♪
273
00:09:39,612 --> 00:09:41,113
♪ With the wild style,twist, twist ♪
274
00:09:41,114 --> 00:09:44,118
‐♪ When I diss on a chump. ♪ ‐♪
275
00:09:46,886 --> 00:09:48,454
All right, but stop me at two.
276
00:09:48,455 --> 00:09:49,955
Yeah, for sure.
277
00:09:49,956 --> 00:09:51,390
‐Two. ‐All right.
278
00:09:51,391 --> 00:09:53,225
♪ That my friend,she a real bad ... ♪
279
00:09:53,226 --> 00:09:55,961
♪ Got her own money,she don't need no ... ♪
280
00:09:55,962 --> 00:09:58,464
♪ On the dance floor,she had two, three drinks ♪
281
00:09:58,465 --> 00:10:01,733
♪ Now she twerkin',
she throw itout and come back in ♪
282
00:10:01,734 --> 00:10:04,269
♪ That my best friend,she a real bad ... ♪
283
00:10:04,270 --> 00:10:07,473
You look so hot right now.
284
00:10:07,474 --> 00:10:09,608
I know.
285
00:10:09,609 --> 00:10:11,410
Yay!
286
00:10:11,411 --> 00:10:13,278
‐♪ Beep‐beep ♪ ‐(horn honks)
287
00:10:13,279 --> 00:10:14,813
♪ Is that my bestiein a Tessie? ♪
288
00:10:14,814 --> 00:10:16,115
♪ Fresh blow out, skin on tan ♪
289
00:10:16,116 --> 00:10:17,583
♪ Ooh, she ready ♪
290
00:10:17,584 --> 00:10:18,984
♪ Best friend,you my ... soulmate. ♪
291
00:10:18,985 --> 00:10:21,453
You know,
292
00:10:21,454 --> 00:10:24,156
they say the secret to
sobriety is one day at a time,
293
00:10:24,157 --> 00:10:26,391
so, I'll just start over tomorrow.
294
00:10:26,392 --> 00:10:28,462
Tomorrow is a new day.
295
00:10:30,497 --> 00:10:31,732
(both laughing)
296
00:10:34,400 --> 00:10:35,868
SAMANTHA: Backstabber.
297
00:10:35,869 --> 00:10:38,939
How dare she show her face in my bar.
298
00:10:39,939 --> 00:10:42,207
Let's run her out.
299
00:10:42,208 --> 00:10:45,410
All right.
I'll try, but I ate a lot of chicken parm.
300
00:10:45,411 --> 00:10:47,613
Oh, you got to pace yourself.
301
00:10:47,614 --> 00:10:50,749
Oh, my God. It's Sam.
302
00:10:50,750 --> 00:10:52,217
Hey, Sam.
303
00:10:52,218 --> 00:10:54,253
‐Hi. Nice hat. ‐Yeah.
304
00:10:54,254 --> 00:10:55,754
‐Chantel forced me to wear this.
‐You and Joel
305
00:10:55,755 --> 00:10:57,589
‐are getting married.
Hmm. ‐Yeah. I didn't
306
00:10:57,590 --> 00:10:59,291
‐want you to find out this way.
‐All right, don't be sorry.
307
00:10:59,292 --> 00:11:01,293
Come on.
You guys have been together a long time.
308
00:11:01,294 --> 00:11:04,663
This is, like,
pretty small‐town inevitable, right?
309
00:11:04,664 --> 00:11:06,632
Yeah.
310
00:11:06,633 --> 00:11:09,268
So do you guys want to,
like, hang out with us?
311
00:11:09,269 --> 00:11:10,769
You can have some cake.
312
00:11:10,770 --> 00:11:13,272
Felicia, do you want to have, uh, cake
313
00:11:13,273 --> 00:11:15,774
with the gal who's
marrying my ex‐boyfriend?
314
00:11:15,775 --> 00:11:17,609
(snorts, laughs)
315
00:11:17,610 --> 00:11:19,444
‐Okay, Sam, you...
‐I would never have a slice
316
00:11:19,445 --> 00:11:21,914
of your skank cake. (laughs)
317
00:11:21,915 --> 00:11:24,082
‐Oh. ‐Uh, o‐okay.
318
00:11:24,083 --> 00:11:26,585
All right, okay.
319
00:11:26,586 --> 00:11:28,287
Next time. Okay.
320
00:11:28,288 --> 00:11:30,491
‐Boom, bitches. ‐Just stop. Look...
321
00:11:32,325 --> 00:11:33,959
‐Give me five. ‐Oh.
322
00:11:33,960 --> 00:11:35,627
‐Ah. ‐BRIT: Sam?
323
00:11:35,628 --> 00:11:37,329
Hey. No, no, no, no. Use this.
324
00:11:37,330 --> 00:11:40,132
I don't need you spraying
all over the walls again.
325
00:11:40,133 --> 00:11:42,534
Oh, that last time was me, actually.
326
00:11:42,535 --> 00:11:44,937
‐(laughing) You remember that?
‐Why are people like this?
327
00:11:44,938 --> 00:11:47,641
Thank you. Sam, how you feeling?
328
00:11:48,708 --> 00:11:50,108
Can we help you?
329
00:11:50,109 --> 00:11:51,478
Can I just talk to Sam?
330
00:11:52,545 --> 00:11:54,479
Would you like to talk to her, Sam?
331
00:11:54,480 --> 00:11:55,981
Yeah, why not?
332
00:11:55,982 --> 00:11:59,051
All right. Fine.
333
00:11:59,052 --> 00:12:02,056
I got to call my babysitter anyway, so...
334
00:12:05,725 --> 00:12:07,326
‐Oh. ‐Way too small of a target.
335
00:12:07,327 --> 00:12:08,794
You know what I mean?
336
00:12:08,795 --> 00:12:11,797
Samantha, you're back from New York.
337
00:12:11,798 --> 00:12:13,599
Oh, yeah. (clears throat)
338
00:12:13,600 --> 00:12:15,901
Living with Mom.
We're like Grey Gardens on acid, you know?
339
00:12:15,902 --> 00:12:17,302
Oh, my God. That sounds terrifying.
340
00:12:17,303 --> 00:12:18,971
My baby asleep yet or what?
341
00:12:18,972 --> 00:12:21,039
You have no idea.
342
00:12:21,040 --> 00:12:23,075
So, rehab?
343
00:12:23,076 --> 00:12:24,910
Oh. (scoffs)
344
00:12:24,911 --> 00:12:27,112
Yeah, that was just mandatory
so my office wouldn't sue.
345
00:12:27,113 --> 00:12:28,647
You know, it wasn't a big deal.
346
00:12:28,648 --> 00:12:30,315
And obviously a huge waste of time,
347
00:12:30,316 --> 00:12:33,218
because I can control my
drinking when I want to.
348
00:12:33,219 --> 00:12:35,988
Yeah, look, Sam, I just...
I want to say I'm sorry, okay?
349
00:12:35,989 --> 00:12:39,491
You know,
since you blocked me on all social media.
350
00:12:39,492 --> 00:12:41,159
Thought this was my one chance and...
351
00:12:41,160 --> 00:12:44,296
Are you sorry about the
hat or the marrying my ex?
352
00:12:44,297 --> 00:12:45,731
I'm just a little confused.
353
00:12:45,732 --> 00:12:47,399
You don't have to be a dick about it.
354
00:12:47,400 --> 00:12:49,268
You know Joel and I have been
together for a long time,
355
00:12:49,269 --> 00:12:51,970
and you guys have been
broken up for a long time.
356
00:12:51,971 --> 00:12:53,905
Sam, life moves forward even if you don't.
357
00:12:53,906 --> 00:12:56,275
Oh, my God. That was beautiful.
358
00:12:56,276 --> 00:12:58,310
I got to get that tattooed on butt.
359
00:12:58,311 --> 00:13:00,912
Could you just not do the
whole victimy thing right now?
360
00:13:00,913 --> 00:13:02,414
You know, this is exactly like
361
00:13:02,415 --> 00:13:04,249
when I got first chair
violin and you got last.
362
00:13:04,250 --> 00:13:06,918
Out of three violins.
363
00:13:06,919 --> 00:13:08,820
Why do you keep bringing that up?
364
00:13:08,821 --> 00:13:11,890
Okay, look, I just...
365
00:13:11,891 --> 00:13:13,959
Everything's not always about you.
366
00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:16,428
I know things have been rough
since your dad passed away.
367
00:13:16,429 --> 00:13:18,130
I really tried.
368
00:13:18,131 --> 00:13:20,132
I came to New York to meet
you at that restaurant.
369
00:13:20,133 --> 00:13:23,568
I sat there waiting for you for two hours,
eating edamame.
370
00:13:23,569 --> 00:13:25,270
Like, so much edamame, because
371
00:13:25,271 --> 00:13:27,708
I wanted to tell you about this in person.
372
00:13:29,409 --> 00:13:31,943
I am very sorry about that, honestly.
373
00:13:31,944 --> 00:13:34,913
‐I was very busy that day. ‐Oh, yeah?
374
00:13:34,914 --> 00:13:37,416
‐Doing what? ‐Sorry. You're right.
375
00:13:37,417 --> 00:13:41,920
I forgot. You're a doctor who saves lives,
so your life is
376
00:13:41,921 --> 00:13:43,655
‐so much more important ‐Yeah.
You know what, ‐All right over here?
377
00:13:43,656 --> 00:13:46,158
‐than mine! ‐this is just like you.
‐Hey! What's going on?
378
00:13:46,159 --> 00:13:48,293
‐Are we all right?
‐Everything's totally fine.
379
00:13:48,294 --> 00:13:50,962
I actually have some
very important work to do
380
00:13:50,963 --> 00:13:52,764
‐and some files and so on and so forth.
‐All right.
381
00:13:52,765 --> 00:13:55,767
So I'm gonna get to that,
and you ladies have a nice evening.
382
00:13:55,768 --> 00:13:57,269
Oh, my God.
383
00:13:57,270 --> 00:13:59,071
‐Oh, no. Sam. Hey, Sam.
Sammy? ‐Oh, wait.
384
00:13:59,072 --> 00:14:01,373
‐Sammy. Sammy, you can't drive.
‐No, Sam, I've got Lyft credits.
385
00:14:01,374 --> 00:14:03,642
‐Sam, just, look.
‐Hey, Sam, Sam, just take a Lyft, please.
386
00:14:03,643 --> 00:14:06,311
I know you hate me.
Just let me take you home in the party bus.
387
00:14:06,312 --> 00:14:08,246
‐Okay? It's right...
‐Yeah, well, I don't know if you can
388
00:14:08,247 --> 00:14:10,148
‐call it a party bus if it doesn't
have a stripper pole. ‐Sam...
389
00:14:10,149 --> 00:14:12,384
‐She's right. ‐(laughs)
390
00:14:12,385 --> 00:14:14,653
Hey, Sam, no, no, look.
There‐There's no stripper pole,
391
00:14:14,654 --> 00:14:16,555
but there‐there is a...
there is a disco ball.
392
00:14:16,556 --> 00:14:18,323
‐Oh, you got one.
‐You love a disco ball.
393
00:14:18,324 --> 00:14:20,325
Xander is 4.8 stars and he's on his way.
394
00:14:20,326 --> 00:14:22,730
‐(engine starts) ‐Enough!
395
00:14:27,066 --> 00:14:29,370
‐BRIT: Where is she going?
‐FELICIA: Well, at least she's going slow.
396
00:14:30,603 --> 00:14:31,970
‐(engine revs) ‐(tires squeal)
397
00:14:31,971 --> 00:14:34,439
‐No, no, no, no, no, no! ‐Oh!
398
00:14:34,440 --> 00:14:37,811
(screaming) Samantha?!
399
00:14:39,879 --> 00:14:41,648
‐You guys okay? ‐Yeah. ‐Yeah.
400
00:14:45,651 --> 00:14:47,654
♪
401
00:14:48,821 --> 00:14:50,489
Here she is.
402
00:14:50,490 --> 00:14:52,257
Thank you.
403
00:14:52,258 --> 00:14:54,326
(clears throat)
404
00:14:54,327 --> 00:14:56,964
‐Samantha, wake up. ‐(gasps) Who?
405
00:14:58,798 --> 00:15:00,901
Huh? Oh.
406
00:15:02,935 --> 00:15:04,770
‐How did you find me?
‐You don't remember
407
00:15:04,771 --> 00:15:06,772
calling me last night, scream‐crying?
408
00:15:06,773 --> 00:15:08,607
You were in jail,
they were never going to let you out,
409
00:15:08,608 --> 00:15:10,242
you needed a fried chicken sandwich?
410
00:15:10,243 --> 00:15:13,078
Mm‐hmm. Okay. Yeah. I called the call.
411
00:15:13,079 --> 00:15:15,749
(short chuckle) Must have been really drunk.
412
00:15:17,150 --> 00:15:18,650
Okay. Yeah, I'll take this one.
413
00:15:18,651 --> 00:15:20,252
(Samantha sighs)
414
00:15:20,253 --> 00:15:22,256
Sweet.
415
00:15:25,792 --> 00:15:28,293
You run a fine establishment here, sir.
416
00:15:28,294 --> 00:15:30,264
Thank you, officer.
417
00:15:33,266 --> 00:15:35,033
So, what‐‐ you try to convert people
418
00:15:35,034 --> 00:15:36,468
when they're truly desperate?
419
00:15:36,469 --> 00:15:39,104
Mm, it's the best time to do it.
420
00:15:39,105 --> 00:15:40,639
But if it makes you feel any better,
421
00:15:40,640 --> 00:15:42,774
‐I am already regretting my decision.
‐Oh, no, no.
422
00:15:42,775 --> 00:15:44,643
I'm sorry. Thank you.
423
00:15:44,644 --> 00:15:47,779
Seriously, uh, you're, like,
my last friend on Earth, so...
424
00:15:47,780 --> 00:15:50,250
(laughs) I am not your friend.
425
00:15:51,384 --> 00:15:54,052
Right. Of course not.
426
00:15:54,053 --> 00:15:57,055
‐Could you be my sponsor?
‐Oh, I don't know.
427
00:15:57,056 --> 00:15:59,925
I have seven sponsees,
but two of them don't call me, so maybe.
428
00:15:59,926 --> 00:16:02,627
Do you know what a sponsor does?
429
00:16:02,628 --> 00:16:04,896
We get coffee and go shopping.
430
00:16:04,897 --> 00:16:08,435
We get coffee, and we talk about alcoholism.
431
00:16:09,435 --> 00:16:11,203
You ready to do that?
432
00:16:11,204 --> 00:16:13,438
I don't know what that is. (short chuckle)
433
00:16:13,439 --> 00:16:16,107
What am I supposed to do?
434
00:16:16,108 --> 00:16:18,310
Just try to be a person.
435
00:16:18,311 --> 00:16:20,080
Brush your teeth, take a shower.
436
00:16:21,113 --> 00:16:22,416
You make your bed every day.
437
00:16:24,383 --> 00:16:26,485
Is the make‐your‐bed thing metaphorical,
438
00:16:26,486 --> 00:16:28,954
or should I really do that?
439
00:16:28,955 --> 00:16:31,656
‐You sure I can't just stay with you?
‐I'm sure.
440
00:16:31,657 --> 00:16:34,294
‐SAMANTHA: I could sleep in your car.
‐Goodbye.
441
00:16:39,131 --> 00:16:40,801
(door closes)
442
00:16:45,571 --> 00:16:47,572
‐Oh, hello. ‐I know you're upset, Mom.
443
00:16:47,573 --> 00:16:49,274
Oh, I'm just... Sit down.
444
00:16:49,275 --> 00:16:51,877
Yeah, I'm covered in,
like, 50 kinds of urine
445
00:16:51,878 --> 00:16:53,378
and every STD right now.
446
00:16:53,379 --> 00:16:54,946
Okay, don't sit.
447
00:16:54,947 --> 00:16:56,116
I know you're probably mad.
448
00:16:57,116 --> 00:16:59,451
I'm not mad. (laughs)
449
00:16:59,452 --> 00:17:01,119
I'm done.
450
00:17:01,120 --> 00:17:03,255
Yeah. No, I know, and I'm sorry,
451
00:17:03,256 --> 00:17:04,956
but if you could just let
me explain to you what...
452
00:17:04,957 --> 00:17:06,958
It's been 24 hours since you left rehab.
453
00:17:06,959 --> 00:17:09,127
You've already been
arrested for drunk driving
454
00:17:09,128 --> 00:17:11,563
after totaling my car, so no.
455
00:17:11,564 --> 00:17:13,064
Okay, so, I'm sitting at the bar, right?
456
00:17:13,065 --> 00:17:14,499
‐Oh, God. ‐Dead sober.
457
00:17:14,500 --> 00:17:16,034
Swear to God I could drive a school bus.
458
00:17:16,035 --> 00:17:17,736
‐I'm really not.
I'm just not. ‐But then Brit
459
00:17:17,737 --> 00:17:19,804
‐walks in the door, okay? ‐Yeah?
460
00:17:19,805 --> 00:17:21,573
‐And she's wearing a veil on her head,
‐Okay.
461
00:17:21,574 --> 00:17:24,142
because it's her bachelorette party,
462
00:17:24,143 --> 00:17:26,645
‐and she's marrying Joel. ‐I know.
463
00:17:26,646 --> 00:17:28,215
I'm going to their wedding.
464
00:17:29,248 --> 00:17:31,550
‐Are you kidding me?
‐No. I've known Brit
465
00:17:31,551 --> 00:17:33,118
‐since she was little. ‐Yes, Mother,
466
00:17:33,119 --> 00:17:35,120
‐because she was my friend.
‐This isn't about Brit.
467
00:17:35,121 --> 00:17:38,290
This is about you... growing up.
468
00:17:38,291 --> 00:17:41,059
So, number one‐‐
469
00:17:41,060 --> 00:17:43,795
you're gonna start paying me rent
470
00:17:43,796 --> 00:17:45,964
or find another place to live.
471
00:17:45,965 --> 00:17:48,366
‐I just got out of rehab.
‐Yeah, and I spent
472
00:17:48,367 --> 00:17:50,969
a lot of money for that place,
money that I was saving
473
00:17:50,970 --> 00:17:53,572
for my neck lift,
which now I can't have because of you.
474
00:17:53,573 --> 00:17:55,574
Where would you like me to go?
475
00:17:55,575 --> 00:17:56,975
I don't have any money.
476
00:17:56,976 --> 00:17:58,977
That is what my book group calls
477
00:17:58,978 --> 00:18:02,614
not my problem. So, you're gonna get a job,
478
00:18:02,615 --> 00:18:04,084
and with that job, you're gonna pay me rent.
479
00:18:08,788 --> 00:18:11,623
I'm trying that setting boundaries thing.
480
00:18:11,624 --> 00:18:14,628
I think I'm quite good at it.
481
00:18:18,931 --> 00:18:20,765
Oh, no, you should keep the boat.
482
00:18:20,766 --> 00:18:22,267
I don't know how to drive a boat,
483
00:18:22,268 --> 00:18:24,769
but it couldn't be that hard to learn.
(laughs)
484
00:18:24,770 --> 00:18:27,772
Oh, um, look,
o‐owning a boat is not a real problem.
485
00:18:27,773 --> 00:18:29,608
I got real problems, and I got to go.
486
00:18:29,609 --> 00:18:31,376
Yeah. Bye.
487
00:18:31,377 --> 00:18:35,614
Sorry. My sister is still "grieving."
488
00:18:35,615 --> 00:18:39,551
So, your lucky streak continues.
489
00:18:39,552 --> 00:18:41,620
‐That's funny.
I don't feel very lucky. ‐Oh.
490
00:18:41,621 --> 00:18:43,221
Well, the judge assigned to your case
491
00:18:43,222 --> 00:18:44,923
approved your pre‐trial probation.
492
00:18:44,924 --> 00:18:46,458
‐And that means? ‐I mean,
493
00:18:46,459 --> 00:18:48,960
I recommended 60 days of jail time.
494
00:18:48,961 --> 00:18:51,730
‐What?
‐But with overcrowding and good behavior,
495
00:18:51,731 --> 00:18:53,465
it would have been, like, two weeks.
496
00:18:53,466 --> 00:18:57,135
But that judge‐‐ he overruled me.
497
00:18:57,136 --> 00:18:59,904
So... so what is happening?
498
00:18:59,905 --> 00:19:01,306
Oh, you're not going to jail.
499
00:19:01,307 --> 00:19:03,208
‐Mm‐mmm. ‐Oh, my God.
500
00:19:03,209 --> 00:19:05,610
No, no, no, no, no.
But over the next 12 months,
501
00:19:05,611 --> 00:19:09,547
you will need to complete 250
hours of community service,
502
00:19:09,548 --> 00:19:12,317
maintain your sobriety, go to meetings,
503
00:19:12,318 --> 00:19:14,452
and complete driver's ed,
because apparently,
504
00:19:14,453 --> 00:19:15,887
you can't drive without getting drunk
505
00:19:15,888 --> 00:19:18,456
and hitting large objects. Just know
506
00:19:18,457 --> 00:19:20,925
that if you make so much as one slip‐up,
507
00:19:20,926 --> 00:19:22,661
you're going straight to jail.
508
00:19:22,662 --> 00:19:24,429
So, stay on your path,
and your case will be dismissed
509
00:19:24,430 --> 00:19:25,897
within the year. It's your choice.
510
00:19:25,898 --> 00:19:29,534
‐Seems easy enough.
‐(laughs) Oh, let's be honest.
511
00:19:29,535 --> 00:19:31,772
You make it hard.
512
00:19:37,476 --> 00:19:38,810
OLIVIA: Hi.
513
00:19:38,811 --> 00:19:41,713
Uh, hi. I have three days.
514
00:19:41,714 --> 00:19:44,616
I want all the booze and all the sex
515
00:19:44,617 --> 00:19:46,885
and all the drugs all at the same time.
516
00:19:46,886 --> 00:19:48,386
(inhales)
517
00:19:48,387 --> 00:19:50,155
You want to come in for a cup of tea?
518
00:19:50,156 --> 00:19:51,790
It's not blow, but it's all I have.
519
00:19:51,791 --> 00:19:53,158
Oh, that's all right.
520
00:19:53,159 --> 00:19:54,795
I only do coke to help me drink more.
521
00:20:03,402 --> 00:20:05,737
SAMANTHA: Come on. Are serious?
522
00:20:05,738 --> 00:20:08,239
Way to bury the lead.
523
00:20:08,240 --> 00:20:11,042
‐What? ‐I'm Olivia Elliot,
524
00:20:11,043 --> 00:20:13,812
and this is... Off Our Docs.
525
00:20:13,813 --> 00:20:15,714
You're a listener? (chuckles)
526
00:20:15,715 --> 00:20:17,382
Big‐time. Big‐time listener.
527
00:20:17,383 --> 00:20:18,783
‐Yeah. ‐Wow.
528
00:20:18,784 --> 00:20:20,452
I can't believe you're an alcoholic.
529
00:20:20,453 --> 00:20:23,588
Anyone can be an alcoholic. It's a disease.
530
00:20:23,589 --> 00:20:26,825
Yeah. I just meant, like,
531
00:20:26,826 --> 00:20:28,827
this is a lot of stuff to
get while you're drinking.
532
00:20:28,828 --> 00:20:30,161
Oh, I didn't get it while I was drinking.
533
00:20:30,162 --> 00:20:32,130
I've been sober for ten years.
534
00:20:32,131 --> 00:20:35,100
But the cash and prizes
don't all come at once, so,
535
00:20:35,101 --> 00:20:37,368
don't call me next week asking
me where your mortgage is.
536
00:20:37,369 --> 00:20:40,774
I won't. Don't even have a job.
537
00:20:42,274 --> 00:20:46,111
Um, my sponsee,
Mindy‐‐ she manages Giovanni's Market.
538
00:20:46,112 --> 00:20:48,782
I know she'd been looking for a cashier.
539
00:20:49,782 --> 00:20:51,783
Wow. Okay. Got it.
540
00:20:51,784 --> 00:20:55,954
Okay. Cashier and then Peabody and then
541
00:20:55,955 --> 00:20:57,288
‐Okay. ‐sick house.
542
00:20:57,289 --> 00:20:59,257
‐And then, awesome paint colors. ‐Yeah,
543
00:20:59,258 --> 00:21:00,859
let's just worry about getting the job first
544
00:21:00,860 --> 00:21:02,395
and let your higher power
take care of the rest.
545
00:21:04,463 --> 00:21:06,464
I knew it was a cult.
546
00:21:06,465 --> 00:21:07,799
CAROL:So, Giovanni's.
547
00:21:07,800 --> 00:21:11,102
‐Yup. ‐I'm proud of you.
548
00:21:11,103 --> 00:21:13,106
Definitely did not think you could do it.
549
00:21:14,607 --> 00:21:16,708
I'm really sorry for crashing your car.
550
00:21:16,709 --> 00:21:18,910
Don't be dramatic. It was 12 years old.
551
00:21:18,911 --> 00:21:20,779
They don't even make parts for it anymore,
552
00:21:20,780 --> 00:21:23,281
so what are you gonna do?
553
00:21:23,282 --> 00:21:25,416
‐What are you doing? ‐What?
554
00:21:25,417 --> 00:21:27,452
Thought you could have one glass of wine.
555
00:21:27,453 --> 00:21:29,087
No. No, I can't.
556
00:21:29,088 --> 00:21:31,222
Unfortunately, that's not how it works.
557
00:21:31,223 --> 00:21:33,158
I can do this, though, right?
558
00:21:33,159 --> 00:21:34,926
That's okay?
559
00:21:34,927 --> 00:21:37,295
Yeah.
Yeah, you can do whatever you want, Mom.
560
00:21:37,296 --> 00:21:39,297
Phew! (laughs)
561
00:21:39,298 --> 00:21:41,566
Not that it's a big deal or anything.
562
00:21:41,567 --> 00:21:43,401
Yeah, well, it turns out, I can't.
563
00:21:43,402 --> 00:21:45,036
Apparently, alcoholism is a disease,
564
00:21:45,037 --> 00:21:48,807
and, uh... boy, do I have it.
565
00:21:48,808 --> 00:21:51,576
Did you just say you have a disease?
566
00:21:51,577 --> 00:21:54,078
‐Mom... ‐You don't have a disease.
567
00:21:54,079 --> 00:21:56,314
I know what a disease looks like.
568
00:21:56,315 --> 00:21:59,417
‐Leukemia, for one. ‐Right. Yeah. Look,
569
00:21:59,418 --> 00:22:00,919
I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to bring up Dad.
570
00:22:00,920 --> 00:22:02,453
‐I really... ‐A disease is
571
00:22:02,454 --> 00:22:05,156
when you can't walk from
your bed to the bathroom.
572
00:22:05,157 --> 00:22:07,458
Right. I hear you.
573
00:22:07,459 --> 00:22:09,494
Seriously.
I was just trying to say that, like,
574
00:22:09,495 --> 00:22:11,296
it's recognized as a disease.
575
00:22:11,297 --> 00:22:14,132
You can...
you can look it up, but that's all.
576
00:22:14,133 --> 00:22:16,267
If you want to call yourself sick,
577
00:22:16,268 --> 00:22:18,603
call yourself sick.
578
00:22:18,604 --> 00:22:22,207
But don't judge me for
having some wine at night,
579
00:22:22,208 --> 00:22:25,810
because everybody wants to
have some wine at night.
580
00:22:25,811 --> 00:22:28,048
It's hard to be a person.
581
00:22:29,114 --> 00:22:31,284
SAMANTHA:Just doing the bestthat I can.
582
00:22:33,285 --> 00:22:36,087
CAROL:I'm sure you are, and welcome.
583
00:22:36,088 --> 00:22:38,122
The rest of us have been
doing the best we can
584
00:22:38,123 --> 00:22:40,994
the whole timeyou've been drinking.
585
00:22:45,998 --> 00:22:47,966
‐Hey, hey. You okay? ‐What?
586
00:22:47,967 --> 00:22:50,435
‐No. Jesus. ‐What...
587
00:22:50,436 --> 00:22:53,137
‐What happened?
‐Didn't know there'd be so much...
588
00:22:53,138 --> 00:22:54,939
stuff and feelings or whatever.
589
00:22:54,940 --> 00:22:57,642
No, no, no, that's the worst part by,
like, a long shot.
590
00:22:57,643 --> 00:22:59,644
It's just, like, a bunch of garbage people
591
00:22:59,645 --> 00:23:01,779
giving me garbage advice. I don't need that.
592
00:23:01,780 --> 00:23:04,048
I could just keep doing
exactly what I'm doing,
593
00:23:04,049 --> 00:23:06,251
and‐and one day write an
autobiography of a trash bag,
594
00:23:06,252 --> 00:23:10,121
featuring me, because I am an expert.
595
00:23:10,122 --> 00:23:11,756
You know, like, I'm one of them.
596
00:23:11,757 --> 00:23:14,926
So I'm gonna be real.
Uh, that's a terrible idea.
597
00:23:14,927 --> 00:23:16,427
You shouldn't write that. That's a bad book.
598
00:23:16,428 --> 00:23:18,431
‐That's a real bad book. ‐(sighs)
599
00:23:21,267 --> 00:23:23,468
I do remember you.
600
00:23:23,469 --> 00:23:25,803
‐Sure you do. ‐No, I do.
601
00:23:25,804 --> 00:23:27,605
I kept calling you the Winklevoss Twins
602
00:23:27,606 --> 00:23:29,941
‐because you code?
‐And that never made sense because
603
00:23:29,942 --> 00:23:31,776
‐that's two white guys. ‐To be fair,
604
00:23:31,777 --> 00:23:33,611
you kept calling me Norah Jones.
605
00:23:33,612 --> 00:23:35,380
But do you see how that's not two people?
606
00:23:35,381 --> 00:23:38,049
‐I do. ‐Yeah.
607
00:23:38,050 --> 00:23:40,385
(laughs)
608
00:23:40,386 --> 00:23:42,489
I'll see you in there, yeah?
609
00:23:48,627 --> 00:23:50,630
("Sharpener's Calling Me Again"
by Cavetown playing)
610
00:23:59,071 --> 00:24:02,440
♪ Sharpener's calling meagain... ♪
611
00:24:02,441 --> 00:24:04,108
You okay?
612
00:24:04,109 --> 00:24:06,110
Nope.
613
00:24:06,111 --> 00:24:09,981
♪ Something I can draw ♪
614
00:24:09,982 --> 00:24:12,986
♪ Into my skin ♪
615
00:24:16,155 --> 00:24:19,791
♪ Why am I ashamed ♪
616
00:24:19,792 --> 00:24:21,993
♪ To look ♪
617
00:24:21,994 --> 00:24:25,463
♪ The way I do? ♪
618
00:24:25,464 --> 00:24:28,633
♪ All 'cause an escape ♪
619
00:24:28,634 --> 00:24:30,268
♪ To me ♪
620
00:24:30,269 --> 00:24:33,271
♪ Was just a sharpener ♪
621
00:24:33,272 --> 00:24:36,441
♪ To you. ♪
622
00:24:36,442 --> 00:24:39,446
Captioned by Media Access
Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org
623
00:24:51,056 --> 00:24:53,157
OLIVIA: In the beginning,
your body's like, don't drink.
624
00:24:53,158 --> 00:24:54,125
I want to drink. Don't drink.
625
00:24:54,126 --> 00:24:55,259
I want to drink. ‐ What do I do?
626
00:24:55,260 --> 00:24:56,396
Don't drink.
627
00:24:56,462 --> 00:24:58,064
Now, boy.
628
00:24:58,964 --> 00:25:00,365
You're still here.
629
00:25:00,366 --> 00:25:01,733
Fairly impressed with myself.
630
00:25:01,734 --> 00:25:02,633
Look, you want me out.
631
00:25:02,634 --> 00:25:03,634
I want to be out.
632
00:25:03,635 --> 00:25:04,902
Don't rush it.
633
00:25:04,903 --> 00:25:08,206
So what is the usual time
frame for being recovered?
634
00:25:08,207 --> 00:25:09,240
[singing]
635
00:25:09,241 --> 00:25:10,975
Well, don't wake up from a nightmare.
636
00:25:10,976 --> 00:25:12,977
SAMANTHA: She's marrying my ex.
637
00:25:12,978 --> 00:25:13,911
Is she serious?
638
00:25:13,912 --> 00:25:14,812
Sam.
639
00:25:14,813 --> 00:25:16,881
Sam, what are you doing here?
640
00:25:16,882 --> 00:25:18,383
I might be broken now.
641
00:25:18,384 --> 00:25:19,650
‐ Give me a twirl. ‐ Oh, God.
642
00:25:19,651 --> 00:25:20,551
[singing]
643
00:25:20,552 --> 00:25:22,086
Go to a new space.
644
00:25:22,087 --> 00:25:23,988
Show up for the people that matter, and they
645
00:25:23,989 --> 00:25:25,256
will start showing up for you.
646
00:25:25,257 --> 00:25:26,724
Are you apologizing to me?
647
00:25:26,725 --> 00:25:27,925
I have to take the blame.
648
00:25:27,926 --> 00:25:29,460
You have some, I get some.
649
00:25:29,461 --> 00:25:30,895
Don't be a blame hog.
650
00:25:30,896 --> 00:25:32,397
Glad I remembered you.
651
00:25:32,398 --> 00:25:34,165
Me, too.
652
00:25:34,166 --> 00:25:35,233
No can we‐‐
653
00:25:35,234 --> 00:25:37,368
Ah, really?
654
00:25:37,369 --> 00:25:40,204
CAROL:
You don't know what you're capable of now.
655
00:25:40,205 --> 00:25:42,640
Yes, my Jewish Jaguar.
656
00:25:42,641 --> 00:25:45,209
To us‐‐ there is bar
flowing in the streets
657
00:25:45,210 --> 00:25:46,210
and none of it is ours.
658
00:25:46,211 --> 00:25:47,311
Amen.
659
00:25:47,312 --> 00:25:49,080
NARRATOR: Freeform's Single Drunk Female now
660
00:25:49,081 --> 00:25:49,115
streaming new episodes Fridays.
49311
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