All language subtitles for Man.on.the.Flying.Trapeze.1935.BRRip.x264-ION10_English

Ambrose.

Leona: Ambrose! Yes, my dear?

What are you doing
in the bathroom?

Um...

Brushing my teeth, dear.

I don't know what's
come over you lately.

You're always in that bathroom
brushing your teeth.

Yes, dear.

Are you sure you're
brushing your teeth?

Yes, dear.

You want anything, dear?

Please come to bed
and put the light out.

Yes, dear.

Hurry up and come to bed.

Yes, I'm hurrying, dear.

What are you doing now?

I'm taking my socks off, dear.

You're certainly making a lot
of noise taking your socks off.

Yes, dear.

Please come to bed
and put the light out.

Oh, yes, dear.

Legs.

Willie the weasel.
What are you doing here?

Steve sent me over here
to lift some silverware.

He's off his nut. He sent
me over on the same job.

Everything's mixed up
since they sent maxie to stir.

What's that in the pan?
Molasses?

Taste it. It's applejack.

Jersey lightning.

What does this applejack
remind you of?

It reminds me of
the old oreland social club.

Remember how Saturday nights, we
used to get plastered on applejack,

and what we used to sing?

On the banks of the wabash,
far away.

Do you remember the tune?

Oh, the moonlight's fair.

That's it.

Tonight upon the wabash

Ambrose.

Ambrose!

Did you leave the radio on?

Did you leave the radio on?

Ambrose. Ambrose.

Wake up. Wake up, ambrose.

Ambrose, there are burglars
singing in the cellar.

What?

Ambrose, there are burglars
singing in the cellar.

What are they singing?

What difference does it make
what they're singing?

Get up and see
what it's all about.

Yeah, that's right.

Don't sit there like a bump on a
stump, go down and throw them out.

Hurry, hurry,
hurry, ambrose. Hurry.

What are they singing
down there for?

Oh, it doesn't matter what they're
singing. Go down quickly, ambrose.

We're in danger I tell you. We're
in terrific danger, ambrose.

The more haste, the less speed.
I'll be down there.

Oh, ambrose, my poor mother.
My poor, helpless, old mother.

My darling...

She's upstairs.
They won't find her.

Oh, ambrose, don't fumble.
Don't fumble, ambrose.

Hurry, ambrose, hurry.

I'm coming, dear.

Get these socks on, ambrose.

What does it matter whether you've
got socks on or not, ambrose?

I'll catch cold down there.

Ambrose, hurry, hurry.

They're great murderers, brutes, ambrose.
They've got guns.

Now what are you looking for,
ambrose?

I don't know,
they may not have guns.

Oh, ambrose!

Maybe they mistook our cellar
window for a stage door.

Hurry, ambrose, hurry.

It's getting louder
and louder and louder.

I can't find my socks.

You're getting me so nervous
I've lost my socks.

Oh, ambrose, hurry.
What are you looking for now?

Why couldn't they wait
until later on in the morning?

Oh, hurry, ambrose.
Hurry, hurry.

It's getting louder, ambrose.
It's getting louder.

Hurry, ambrose.

Oh, don't SWAT flies.

Hurry, ambrose. Hurry.

Oh, such an earthly hour...

An unearthly hour.
Where are they?

In the cellar, ambrose,
in the cellar.

I heard them there.
Listen, listen, listen.

Oh, what rotten voices.

Murderers. Brutes, ambrose.

Yeah.

Get them, ambrose. Get them.

Oh, gosh.

Couldn't I just sleep about another
hour, then I'll go down there?

Oh, ambrose, hurry.
Hurry, ambrose.

Okay.

Oh, this is awful.

Look at that. There's the gloves
that you lost two weeks ago.

Ambrose, get the gun!

Say, what are these things doing
in here, all these walnuts?

What's the difference what they're doing?
Get the gun, ambrose! Get the gun!

Look, there's nothing... there's no...
Yes, here it is. Here it is. I've got it.

Here, I got it.

Be careful.

Oh, there's nothing
to be frightened of.

Be careful. It's unloaded,
there's nothing in it.

Careful. It's okay.

There isn't a bullet in it.

Did I kill you?

Oh, leave me in peace!
Leave me in peace!

Oh, good, good, I didn't kill you!
That's fine.

What was that?

Sounded like
someone shot off a pistol.

That's what
it sounded like to me.

My baby! Did they kill you?

Oh, no, I'm all right, but quiet. There
are burglars singing in the cellar.

Burglars singing in the cellar?

Yes, there are burglars
singing down in the cellar.

Give me that gun.

Let go, let go,
let go, will you?

There are burglars
singing in the cellar.

Look out, look out, look out.
Excuse me. Come here.

Come in... come in here.
Give me... out of the way!

Got a smoking revolver
in my hand, woman.

Dad, what's the matter? There are
burglars singing in the cellar.

There are burglars
singing in the cellar.

Burglars singing in the cellar!

Yeah, there's burglars
singing in the cellar!

Great big fellows,
about eight feet tall...

They sound like... they sound as
though they're even more than that.

- What's that?
- Nuts.

Walnuts. I just dropped them.
I dropped them on the floor.

Will you go downstairs
and get them out?

Yes, I will. Come on, Claude.
We'll go down and root them out.

Claude, dear, I know you
have the heart of a lion,

but if you want to see your poor,
old mother die of heart failure,

you go down into that cellar.

Oh, I won't do anything
to hurt you.

Indeed, Claude will not
accompany you into that cellar.

If anything should happen
to Claude,

you know very well
it would kill my poor mother.

How can you be so selfish?

Oh, wait a minute, dad.
I'll go with you.

Oh, no, you won't, dear.

You stay here. I know what I'll do.
What?

I'll telephone
the neighborhood patrol.

What do I pay them
$5 a month for?

Oh! It's a different story when it
comes to your own flesh and blood.

Hmm.

Yeah. I think I'll go
and brush my teeth first.

No, you don't. You just brushed
your teeth. Sit down and telephone.

Oh, yes.

Let's see, it's...

Hello, hello.
Neighborhood patrol?

Has... oh. Oh, I beg your pardon.
Oh, I'm sorry.

I'm... I'm awfully...
I apologize.

I'm sorry, Mrs. Crudd.
I'm awfully sorry,

but we have burglars
singing in our cellar.

I thought this was the
neighborhood patrol, excuse me.

Who's that woman
you were talking to?

Huh? Oh, a Mrs. Crudd.

Why do you call her up
and tell her all your business

at this unearthly hour
of the morning?

I didn't call her up. I called up the...
The neighborhood...

I tried to get the neighborhood
patrol and I got her on the phone.

Then why don't you
call the neighborhood patrol

and tell them there are
burglars singing in our cellar?

I'm looking for the number.

Here it is. Here.
There, it's simple enough.

Hello?

Hello. Is this
the neighborhood patrol?

Well, where were you?
I called the wrong...

Listen, come over. We have
burglars singing in our cellar.

Burglars singing in the cellar?

Come over right away,
will you? Thanks.

All right, all right. That's simple.
That's all done.

Did you tell them who was
calling, and where to come to?

Who? What?

Gosh, I forgot that.

People make me sick.

Hey, listen, that was
ambrose wolfinger talking.

Yeah, come over right away.

There are burglars singing in the cellar.
Good. Okay.

Don't move!

A gildersleeve.

A cop.

What you drinking there?

Applejack.

There are three of them
singing now.

Yeah, they're singing
the same tune, too.

I... I feel as if
I'm getting chill!

Oh, would you like
a little drink of applejack?

Ambrose wolfinger.

Well, I thought
I might join her.

You know perfectly well
my mother detests alcohol.

Oh, yes, that's right.

When I was a young and a pretty
girl, I always vowed to my parents

that lips that touch liquor,
would never touch mine.

Oh, yeah.
Pretty sentiment, very nice.

Yeah, that was fine of you
to say that. That's nice.

That's all right, dear. Don't worry.
I'm not even going into the cellar.

I'll talk to them
from the outside.

I'll wait up for you.

All right, dear. I don't crave an
encounter with dangerous criminals.

You go right in. Go right in
and go to bed, dear. Yeah.

All right, dad.
All right. Goodbye, dear.

Oh, drat.

Drat.

Everything's okay, Mr. Wolfinger.
I got them handcuffed.

Oh. Oh, that's fine.

Merciful heavens. What happened?

Oh. Oh.

Why couldn't I fall
on a small, dull one?

I caught them down here
drinking your applejack.

Oh, you did, eh? Oh. By the way,
would you like a drink yourself?

I don't mind if I do.

Oh, good. Oh.

You got the glass right here with
you, haven't you? Yeah. All right.

For two pins, I'd box your...

Are you sure those
handcuffs are on tightly?

Oh, they're safe.

For two pins,
I'd box both your ears.

Ah, you know how to turn it
on, you been here before.

Take your filthy hands
off there!

There you are, officer. Thanks.

Wait a minute,
I'll join you. Okay.

That's the old Jersey way of
getting it out of the barrel.

My best respects. Fine.

Quiet. Cut it out, boys.

Tone it down a little.
Tone it down a little, huh?

Do you remember that tune?

We used to sing it up at the old
tehachapi glee club many years ago.

Brings back fond memories.

Before I was married.

It's a quartet.

Merciful heavens,
he's singing with them now.

Leona: Ambrose! Ambrose?

Ambrose!

It's all right, dear. It's all
right, we got them hand-ironed...

They're handicapped...
Handiwork...

The... they got
their hands all tied up.

I got them,
but they can't do a thing.

Yeah, the police ambulance
is down in here. Yeah.

All right, don't worry, dear. Go
right back to sleep. All right.

Goodbye, goodbye,
goodbye, goodbye.

She can hear every word
you say down here,

up through this pipe,
so keep quiet.

She's awfully nervous.
Awfully nervous.

Say, look here.

These boys seem all right.

Let's let them go if they
promise never to do it again.

Oh, no, no, nothing doing.
This is my bread and butter.

I got to take them in.

Yeah.

Oh, you'll have to go along, too.
Why?

To appear against them.

By the way, I'll have to take a jug
of this applejack along as evidence.

Go ahead.

Now, listen, Mr. Wolfinger, I'll
go through the window first,

and you see that they get out.

Wait a minute, wait a minute,
wait a minute, wait a minute.

That leaves me down here with them alone.
Wait a minute, now.

Why can't I go out the window first,
and then I wait for... with them...

I'll be with them, too,
out there, won't I?

I'll tell you what to do,
we'll all go out together.

All right. Come on,
come on. Get out.

Go ahead, go ahead,
go ahead, now. Up!

Ambrose: Gosh.

Ambrose!

What are you doing
down in that cellar?

If you have apprehended the
criminals, come up here and go to bed.

Keep quiet, boys.

I don't want anybody to see me prowling
around in the middle of the night

dressed like this.

What time is it?

Legs: What time is it?

Willie: What time is it? What...

Say, wolfinger, what's the idea of making
all this noise at 5:00 in the morning?

It's 5:00.

Drat.

Say, this thing isn't
going to interfere

with me going to the wrestling
match this afternoon, is it?

Oh, I hope not.
I got a ticket myself.

I got a $15 seat
in the first row.

Had it for three weeks. Of course
my wife knows nothing about it.

Wrestling's in my blood.

No, if I hadn't
have been sidetracked,

I'd have been probably wrestling in
this match this afternoon myself.

Oh, you're a wrestler, eh?

You were born in Canada,
weren't you? Yeah.

Fine.

There isn't a man or boy born
in the United States or Canada

that could get out of this hold.
Come here.

Stick your head in there. Stick
it in there. Go ahead. Put it in.

Now, wait a minute.

Try to get out of that.

Go ahead, try to get out of it.

I guess I took in
too much territory.

I shouldn't have
mentioned Canada.

Did I hurt you?

How could you hurt anybody
throwing them on their head?

Oh, dear.

Good morning.
Is the judge about?

He'll be here in just a minute.

Old honest Abe.

What's the charge?

Those two men, your honor, were
singing in Mr. Wolfinger's cellar.

These two boys here. Yes?

And drinking applejack.
Where'd they get it?

In Mr. Wolfinger's cellar.
Down in my place.

Where's the evidence?

Right here, your honor.

Who's the owner of this applejack?
I am.

Have you a permit
to manufacture applejack?

I beg your pardon?

Have you a permit
to manufacture applejack?

I guess I could
get one easy enough.

$30 or 30 days. Take him away!

But, judge... oh, wait.
They came in to my...

Clear the court!
Clear the court!

Ambrose: Oh, this is terrible.

This is awful.

This is terrible.

Then... then I... I took...

I took my scissors... yeah.

And stuck straight into
my wife's throat, like that!

You tickled me.

Wouldn't you do the same thing
under the circumstances?

I would do the same thing,
I guess, or probably worse.

You know, I'm excitable. Yeah.

I kill them all. Uh-huh.

But that's nothing.

No, that didn't mean...

You know... you know,
my friend, mmm-hmm.

I had three wives.

Oh, yes.

But this is the first one
I have killed in all my life!

Oh, that's in your favor, yeah.

They have no more case against you
than the sheep has against a butcher.

Oh, do you think so?

Oh, I know it.
Excuse me a minute.

My friend here... he's... can I get
out to send a telephone... just for...

Oh, wait, I'll go with you.

No, no, that's all right,
that's all right.

I'll finish the story.

I can't go out
and telephone her?

Look here. You telephone...
Can you telephone my wife?

You can't telephone. I can
take a message out for you.

Will you take a message out?

Search this guy. Search
him for a pair of scissors.

I think he's got
scissors with him.

My friend...

He's excited.

Say, look, you telephone my wife,
and tell her to get $30 over here,

and if she hasn't $30,
not to wait up for me tonight

because I won't be home
for a month. Will you do that?

My friend... okay.

I want to tell you something.

Yeah, okay.

Will you listen to me? Yeah.

When I got the scissors...

Hello. Who's it for?

It's from your father.

Where is he?

He's in jail.
They've got him locked up.

What's that?
What's the charge again?

For making liquor
without a permit?

Mmm-hmm.

How's that?

$30 or 30 days? And he didn't
have any money with him?

Oh, we must go immediately
to the jail and get him out.

And where do you suppose
we'll get the money from?

Oh, let him stay in jail,
it will teach him a lesson.

My father will not stay
in jail, not for a minute.

I have $30,
and I'll get him out.

This is a pretty kettle
of fish he's gotten us in for.

He's a disgrace.

The little snip.
It's your own fault, my dear.

I always advised you against
marrying a widower with a child.

It was awfully kind of you,
sweetheart, to come down...

Excuse. Pardon me.

It was awfully kind of you to come
down this early hour of the morning

and get me out.
Why didn't they send Claude?

You know how slow Claude is.
Yeah.

So I just grabbed my coat
and came on down.

Didn't your stepmother make any
fuss about giving you the $30?

No, dad. She didn't make any fuss.
Didn't she?

Oh, she's pretty nice
about some things.

Yes.

And other things
she's not so nice about.

Hope: Good night, dad.

Good night, dear. Good night.

Quite a snooze.

Oh, don't. I got all I want.

There. Eat them up, iambikins.
They're good for you.

Would you mind
passing me the sugar, please?

Pardon me.

Wonder how the old jailbird
is this morning?

If you're referring
to my father,

I think it's very bad taste
and not a bit funny.

My father's only been
kind to you.

And during the eight years
that you've lived here,

he's never said
one unkind thing about you.

You're throwing that
up to us, are you?

And just because
poor Claude cannot find work.

You needn't throw
that in our face.

I'm not throwing it in your
face or trying to be unkind,

but I can't sit here and
listen to both you and your son

continually belittling
my father.

He's been too good to you.

He's the most trying man
ever put on this earth.

Morning, everybody.

Good morning, dad.
Good morning, sweetheart.

Morning, dear.

Morning. Morning.

Well, I had quite an experience last
night apprehending those criminals.

Yeah, and it was funny the way
the whole thing turned out.

Yes. Yes, it was.

Yes, it was. Indeed, it was.

It'll be harder than ever for
poor Claude to secure employment

when they know that his
brother-in-law is an ex-convict.

I don't think I should even look for
work until this whole thing blows over.

Yeah, I think that's right.

He isn't an ex-convict.

He wasn't in the jail
a half hour.

Leona: He was convicted of manufacturing
alcoholic beverages without a permit.

He never made illegal liquor.
He bought pure apple cider,

put it in the garden, let it freeze
and then drained the alcohol off.

That's just exactly what happened, dear.
Any more wheat cakes and sausage?

There would have been, if you'd got
to the table when the others got here.

I think it's a shame.

You little rebel, you.

Here, you just have some of
these ham and egg... ham and...

Oh, enough of your quarrelling.
I'm sick and tired of it.

Oh, here's one of those delightful
fragments by gertrude smun.

Would you like to hear it?

Would you like to hear it?

Oh, yes, I would, dear.
Yes, surely I would, surely.

"We have what we have not."

Have we any cereal?

"What we have not, we have.

"Up is down." Any butter?

"Down is..."

Are you listening?

Oh. Yes, dear.
I beg your pardon. Yes.

Are you going to eat
the rest of that sausage...

Yes, I am.

Oh. Well, that's all right.

"Down is out. Everyone
knew me and I was happy."

Are you listening?

Yes, dear.

Leona: "And we were all happy.
Is everybody happy?"

"And I bought a big, red apple."

"Yes, unhappiness is joy."

Isn't that beautiful?

Isn't that beautiful?

Very beautiful,
dear, very beautiful.

What's it all about?

What you were reading? Yes.

About a apple?

And the wonderful part of it
is there's no punctuation.

Oh, that's marvelous.

And to think that under
that beautiful blank verse

they print portraits
of those horrible wrestlers.

Oh, Claude's going to see
that wrestling match.

He found a ticket,
a $15 ticket in the first row.

Is your toast warm, dad?

No, dear, it's cold.
It's all right.

I've been eating cold toast
for eight years now, I like it.

All right, dad. I'll meet you in the hall.
We'll drive down together.

All right, dear.

Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me.
Excuse me, dear.

Don't forget to pay the rent
on the way to the office.

Oh, no, I won't.

Please don't forget.

I won't. I won't. I won't.

Why did you give a start
at the table this morning

when Mrs. Neselrode said Claude had
found a ticket to the wrestling match?

I didn't know
I gave a start, honey.

Come on now, dad. Fess up.

Didn't you have a ticket
to that wrestling match?

A $15 ticket in the first row?

I did have a ticket,
but I lost it.

Exactly what I thought.

He stole that ticket out of your pocket.
I despise him, dad.

The lazy, good-for-nothing,
fat, overfed monkey.

He... he isn't too fat.

Dad, I know that you would never
have married again after mother died

if it wasn't for me.

What are you talking about?

Well, when I was a little girl,
I heard you talking to Mr. Metsinger,

and he was arguing with you.

And you said that you would
never have married again

if it wasn't that you didn't want
to see that hope had a mother.

Now, listen, honey. I want
you to promise me one thing.

Never mention that again
as long as you live.

I.. I must have been drinking.

No, dad, you weren't drinking.

All right.

Dad, I know your heart is set on
going to that wrestling match.

Now, you ask the boss for the
afternoon off and go to that match.

No one will ever know, and
you know I won't tell on you.

Satan, get behind me.

Goodbye, sweetheart.
Goodbye, dad.

I'll see you tonight, honey.
All right.

Have a nice day, beauty.

Hello, peabody.

What have you in your files
on j. Farnsworth wallaby?

Send wolfinger in here
immediately.

Then get the data
out of his files.

The only thing I can find out
is that wallaby's credit's okay

and he comes from Australia.

Well, that isn't enough.
Now, you find something more.

Wolfinger keeps his desk locked.

Well, wolfinger should keep a complete
record of these people in his files.

I meet so many people,
how am I to remember them all?

I've explained that
to wolfinger several times,

but he has stubbornly installed
his own jumbled system of filing.

Good morning, ladies.
Good morning. Good morning.

Good morning.

Morning.

Morning, carlotta.

Good morning, Mr. Wolfinger.

Now, let's see...

Hello?

I want the complete record of j.
Farnsworth wallaby right away.

All right. Thank you, Mr. Malloy. I'll
be right over. Thank you. Goodbye.

Mr. Wolfinger, would it be possible
for me to have the afternoon off?

I'd like to go to the wrestling matches.
I found a ticket.

Found a ticket?
What row was it in?

Just a general admission ticket.

Well, I don't know. You'll have
to ask that sterling Mr. Peabody.

My mother's a great friend
of hookalakah meshobbab's.

She is, eh? Hookalakah.
I never knew his first name.

Well, that may help some.
Anyway, you ask peabody.

I don't know anything about it.

Good morning, Mr. Malloy.
Where have you been, wolfinger?

I... don't you remember?

You sent me to the bank to deposit
those checks and I had to wait there.

It didn't open till 9:00.

Oh, yes, of course, I forgot.

Now, what do you know
about j. Farnsworth wallaby?

J. Farnsworth wallaby...
Just a minute.

Miss dickson, take this
down for reference, please?

Yes, sir.

J. Farnsworth wallaby.
He's an Australian sheep man.

Came here about six years ago and
bought $8,000 of the woolen goods

to take back to Australia.

His credit is a-one.

He has two boys.

One is a champion tennis player,

and the other one is
a manly little fellow.

You played golf with him. You quit
at the eighth hole, I think it was.

It rained.
You had a 94 up to then

and he had an 82.

He had a friend with him.

The mithintith of bobandale,
an Indian potentate.

And that night you all went
out to a cabaret, remember?

And you hurt your eye
some way or other.

It got all black around there,
and someone

surreptitiously placed a lady's
silk stocking in your pocket.

That will be all, wolfinger.

Thank you.

Here you are, Mr. Malloy.

Thank you.

Mr. Malloy, if you want any further
information, I'll be in my office.

Very well, peabody.

Well, well, well! Bless my heart.
If this isn't a sight for sore eyes.

Well, how are you, Mr. Malloy?

J. Farnsworth wallaby, eh?

That's right.

All the way from the antipodes.

Yes.

Sit down. Come, roll up a chair
and make yourself comfortable.

Here, have a cigar.

Thanks.

Well, well, well, this certainly
is a pleasant surprise.

By the way, how are those
wonderful sons of yours?

That... the tennis player,
and the other chap?

Oh, topping, topping!

Mr. Wolfinger.

Mr. Peabody wants a copy of that
letter we wrote to Mr. Knute...

S-c-h-v-e-n-d-e-n-b-o-r-g
of... k-j-o...

Why don't you kids learn
how to pronounce names?

He thinks it was about
four years ago.

Yeah. Yeah, that's...

Oh, I know who it is.
Surely. Four years ago.

It was three-and-a-half
years ago. Hold that.

Two years. Three years.

Three...

What is that doing in there?

Belongs over there. Everything's
all misplaced around here.

There it is. Four years ago.

Three-and-a-half years ago, to be correct.
Tell him that, will you?

Mr. Malloy. Yes.

Would I be imposing on your good nature
if I asked for the afternoon off?

What for?

Why, my poor, dear mother-in-law, Mrs.
Neselrode, died several days ago.

Oh, I am sorry.

This is sad news indeed to me.

Thank you.
We're burying her today,

and I'd like to get the afternoon
off to go to her funeral.

Why, of course.

Why, you haven't had a day
off in 25 years. No, sir.

That's quite all right. Oh, what
did the dear old lady die of?

Why, your mother-in-law,
Mrs. Neselrode.

What was the complaint?

Oh, there wasn't any complaint.

The other night
she got a chill, and she...

I said, "why don't you take
a little drink of this..."

I understand. And she said,
no, she wouldn't have it.

Poison liquor, eh?
Poison liquor.

You know, it's a crying shame.

There have been 13 deaths from poison
liquor within the last fortnight.

However,
I suppose death is inevitable.

Yes, sir.

Well, you be brave, Mr. Wolfinger,
and make the best of it.

You're made of sterner stuff.

Thank you, Mr. Malloy.

Thank you.

You'll have very little difficulty
in getting off this afternoon.

I won't be here.

My poor mother-in-law died three days ago.
I'm attending her funeral this afternoon.

Isn't that terrible,
Mr. Wolfinger?

Yes, it's terrible.
It's awful. Horrible tragedy.

It must be hard to
lose your mother-in-law.

Yes, it is, very hard.

It's almost impossible... it's very
difficult. It's hard to lose them.

Don't forget to lock that
desk, will you, before you go?

Yes, Mr. Wolfinger.

All right. Goodbye.

Good night.

Yes, sir.

Peabody, inform the
departments of the sudden death

of wolfinger's mother-in-law, Mrs.
Neselrode, several days ago.

Funeral's this afternoon.

I think we should let him know that
his fellow workers sympathize with him.

I suggest their sending
flowers or cards of sympathy.

And also contact the press and
notify them of the tragedy.

May I suggest that
we inform the press

that he is an employee
of the Malloy company?

Excellent idea, peabody. Yes.
You attend to it, will you?

Thank you, sir.

By the way, what did she die of?

Bad liquor.

Attention, boys and girls.

I have a very sad message
to deliver to you.

Poor ambrose wolfinger's
mother-in-law, Mrs. Neselrode,

died several days ago.

Mr. Wolfinger,
whom we all honor and respect,

is going to the funeral
this afternoon.

If any of you wish to send a little
floral piece or message of condolence,

you may send it to
Mrs. Ambrose wolfinger,

1627 charter street.

Pull over to the curb.

Have you a driver's license?

Nice work, nice work.

Didn't you see that
motorcycle there?

No, sir.

Well, didn't you see these
"no parking" signs here?

No, sir.

In other words, you were driving without
looking where you were going, huh?

Well, in a way, yes.

Let me see your
operator's license.

Going to the wrestling match?

Yes, I... I certainly
am if! Can make it.

It's gonna be
the battle of the century.

What's your occupation?

Memory expert.

What's your occupation?

Memory expert.

This meshobbab will kill that Russian
and toss him out of the state.

Oh, do you think so? I got a
couple of bucks to bet on tosoff.

I got a secretary that thinks...
Her mother's a great friend...

Thank you.

A great friend of meshobbab.

Boy, that's one detail I'd
sure like to be assigned to.

So would I.

Well, I'll be seeing you.

How do you do, sir?

Where are you going?

I'm going to
the wrestling matches.

Have you a driver's license?

I bought my ticket... haven't bought...
Yes, a driver's license, yes, sir.

Do you know what
this red curbing means?

Yes, sir.

What does it mean?

No parking.

That's right. Now can you
read those letters down there?

Oh, yes, yes.

Would you...
"No parking. No parking."

Would you mind reading
the lettering off to me?

Again?

"No parking."

Read them once again, will you?

"No parking."

Now just once more
to be sure you got it right.

"No parking."

Well, that's fine.

You knew the red paint on the
curb meant you couldn't park here.

Yes, sir.

You also read the sign "no parking"
painted in bold letters on the curb.

Yes, sir.

Yet you deliberately drove into
this zone knowing all those things.

No, sir. What?

Yes, sir, but if I can explain.

The officer on point duty
told me to drive in here

and run into the motorcycle...
Policeman's bicycle.

He did, eh? Yes, sir.

Well, that's fine.

I suppose if he told you to pull out a gun
and shoot me, you'd have done that, too.

Yes, sir. What?

No, sir.

Now, understand one thing.

No matter what anybody tells you
to do, I'm running this beat.

All right, now, get out of here.

Thank you, sir.

Get out right now. I don't
mean a week from next Friday.

This very minute, right now.

Yes, sir. Now, beat it.

I'll be out.

Sorry, officer.

I'm not an officer.
I'm the chauffeur of that car.

And let me tell you one thing.
Don't back into that car again.

I'm very sorry. You get me?

Yes, sir.

Well, any time
you're ready, Henry.

Sorry, madam.

Correct me if I'm wrong.

Did I tell you to get out of here, or
didn't I tell you to get out of here?

No, sir. What?

I mean, yes, sir.

You see, but I'm wedged in
between these trunks in the front

and the other gentleman
in the...

Oh, excuse me. He isn't there.

What for you went back into the
ambulance and throw out my brother, huh?

Man: Does Mrs. Ambrose
wolfinger live here? Yes.

Flowers for Mrs. Neselrode.

Thank you.

These flowers are for you, dear.

"Abide with him."

"Our deepest sympathy
in your great bereavement."

"The steno department."

What on earth?

What... what...

What's this?

What's this about?

"Rest in peace."

From Mr. Malloy.

Maybe something's
happened to Claude.

Or ambrose, or hope.

Well, something has
certainly happened to someone.

Oh, dear, that bell.

"Mr. Peabody."

Oh, I wish Claude were here!
He could tell us what to do.

I'll telephone ambrose.

Do!

Hello?

I want to speak to
Mr. Ambrose wolfinger, please.

Mr. Wolfinger isn't here
this afternoon.

He's taking the afternoon off to
attend his mother-in-law's funeral.

His mother-in-law's funeral?

Why, that's absurd!

Who is this speaking?

This is Mrs. Ambrose wolfinger.

My mother's not dead.
She's in perfect health!

There must be some mistake.

Oh, I see.

Good day, Mrs. Wolfinger.

What in heaven's name
is this all about?

The second bout of the
afternoon will be between...

And here we have...

Easy, easy. Easy.

Just another foot.

I thought you said another foot!

I thought it was another foot.

I beg your pardon. It was my mistake.
Pardon me.

When his car
backed into yours...

Yeah, well, it was my fault.

I told him to come back,
you see, another foot.

Probably so, but the backing
of the car released your wheel,

and your wheel is now
running down the street.

My wheel is running...

Godfrey Daniel! Excuse me.

I'll be right back. I'll pay
for any damage. Excuse me.

Listen to this!

"Poison liquor sends another
victim to the grave today."

Read that.

"When Mrs. Cordelia neselrode,
the 15th fatality, succumbed

"complaining of a pain in her chest,
she imbibed a small quantity of liquor

"and within a few minutes, died."

"It was reported
that the tragic details"

"were related by
Mr. Ambrose wolfinger,"

"grieving son-in-law
of the deceased."

He's a fiend!
A wool in sheep's clothing!

A what?
A wolf in sheep's clothing.

Oh, when Claude comes home tonight,
he'll avenge his mother's honor!

And now we come to the
main bout of the afternoon.

In this corner we have...

And over here we have...

Come on!

Mr...

Man: No more standing room.

Any more sitting room?

Any more...

Get the chauffeur's number.

Oh, Mr. Wolfinger.
What's happened?

What's happened?
I don't know. I'm tired.

Oh, my goodness.

Drunk again
and lying in the gutter.

Let go of his head, lady.

Why, he's dying. Do something.

Oh, here's Claude.

Oh, Claude!

Look out, ma. Have you
seen the evening paper?

Yes, and have you
seen the flowers?

No, but I saw ambrose.

Has anything happened to dad?

Yes.

He's lost his position
with the firm,

and this afternoon he took
a fiendish pleasure

in telling Mr. Malloy
and the newspapermen

that my dear, sweet mother had
died of alcoholic poisoning,

and had gone to
a drunkard's grave.

Yes, but you don't know
that he then got his secretary

and took her to
the wrestling matches

where they drank themselves into
imbecility and fell into the gutter.

I don't believe it.
I don't believe a word of it.

A little nose candy...
A little nosegay, dear.

What does this mean?

What does...

Godfrey Daniel!

Who's dead?
Your perfidious brain is dead.

Dad, did you tell Mr. Malloy
and the newspapers

that Mrs. Neselrode died
of alcoholic poisoning

and went to a drunkard's grave?

I did not tell the newspapers

that Mrs. Neselrode died and
went to a drunkard's grave.

Did you take your secretary to the
wrestling matches this afternoon?

Dear, I pledge you my word I did not take
my secretary to the wrestling matches.

I took no one
to the wrestling matches.

But I guess you did see the wrestling
matches this afternoon, dad.

No, the funny thing about it,

I didn't even see the wrestling
matches this afternoon.

Is that the truth?

Sweetheart, I take an oath
on your poor mother's grave.

I never saw the wrestling
matches this afternoon.

Things happened.

I believe you, dad.

Oh, don't say anything more.
I know everything.

Now, don't cry, dear.

You're exaggerating things in your mind.
Don't lie to me.

My poor brain can't stand it!

That black eye and your condition prove
you were drunk and lying in the gutter!

I was not drunk!

There, I knew it.

What are you talking about? I
saw you at the wrestling matches.

You were drunk,
lying in the gutter,

and you had your secretary with
you, and she was drunk, too!

Listen, Claude, I've had a lot
of trouble in the last 24 hours,

and I've just about
heard enough from you.

I admit that I was wrong

in asking for the afternoon off
to go to the wrestling matches

and giving, as an excuse,
Mrs. Neselrode dying,

but that is all.

You were drunk, and you
were lying in the gutter,

and you did take your secretary!

You keep quiet and let my father
tell his story in his own way!

Don't you yell at me
or I'll slap you in the mouth!

Oh, you fiend! You fiend!

Dad! Dad! Let me go! Let me go!

I'll knock them
for a row of lib-labs.

Leave this house and never
cross the threshold again,

and take your ungrateful minx
of a daughter with you!

Dad, come on.

I'll exterminate
the three of them.

Come on,
we'll go for a little ride.

"Rest in peace."

Come on.

Wait a minute, dear. Well...

Okay.

Did you ring, sir? Yes.

There's a Mr. Mockenbock who's
arriving from Hungary tomorrow morning.

I see by the files that his rating is
a-one and he's an important customer,

but I can't find anything
personal to talk to him about.

Where is wolfinger?

I discharged him.

What for?

He lied to you,
and he took the afternoon off,

possibly to go to
that wrestling match.

He's been talking about
the wrestlers

and bragging about his prowess
as a wrestler for years.

Good gracious, you can't
discharge the poor devil

for taking one afternoon off
in 25 years.

Now, get him back, and get him
back as quickly as possible.

You've left us in a fine mess.

I want to get the data
on Mr. Mockenbock at once.

Where does Mr. Wolfinger
keep his files?

They're in here, sir.

But I'm afraid they'll
appear disordered to you.

I've tried to install a filing system but
Mr. Wolfinger prefers his own methods.

So this is
the famous filing system, eh?

Where can we find wolfinger?
I don't know.

His wife has thrown him
out of the house.

She informed me that he attended
the wrestling matches yesterday,

that this girl, his secretary,
accompanied him,

that they were both drunk,
and that wolfinger was found

lying in the gutter.

This is a gross exaggeration
and a fabrication!

True, I did attend
the wrestling matches,

only because my mother is a very
dear friend of hookalakah meshobbab,

but when hookalakah
threw tosoff from the ring,

he struck poor Mr. Wolfinger in
the chest, knocking him insensible.

What did you expect me to do,

stand there like a dummy and watch
my poor boss die in the gutter?

I am sick and tired... you think
I'm gonna take your word...

Stop it!

You've overstepped your authority.
Come into my office.

You get on that phone
and locate wolfinger,

and stick to it
if it takes all day!

Yes, sir.

I don't understand how you could
have used such bad judgment.

I'll get it, honey.
No, I'll get it, dad.

Hello?

Is this miss wolfinger?

I've got it.

Mr. Malloy has spoken to me,

and inasmuch as
Mr. Wolfinger's been

with the firm for
more than two decades,

he thinks that if Mr. Wolfinger will
return to work and forget wrestling,

Mr. Malloy will accept my suggestion
that he return to his old position.

Well, thank you. I... I know he'd
appreciate that if he were here,

but he's in the shower.

He's going on an interview
this morning to...

Who's in the shower?
Anybody in the...

Dad, quiet.

What do you mean,
"in the shower"?

Dad, will you please
sit down and be quiet?

I say, he's going on an interview
this morning to see Mr. Mo littvack,

the president of
the Irish woolen mills.

Mo littvack, president
of the Irish woolen mills?

Dad, please.

She says he's negotiating with
the Irish woolen mills, limited.

Offer him $75 a week

and tell his daughter to get
in touch with him immediately.

Mr. Malloy has just informed me

that on account of his long
association with your father

he can offer $75 a week.

Well, I don't think
that would be adequate.

I know that he's
considering an offer

of $100 a week

with four weeks' vacation

at full pay.

The Irish woolen mills
have offered him $100 a week

and four weeks' holiday
on full salary.

All right, offer him the same, but
have him report here in the morning.

How can he report in the morning

if you're gonna give him
a four weeks' holiday?

Dash.

Dash!

Dash!

All right.

We'll meet the offer, but at
the end of the four weeks,

I want him here on the job!

Mr. Malloy will meet the offer.

You know what
I was thinking I'd do?

What, dad?

I thought I'd get
down to the firm

and tell them that
I'd work for less money.

'Cause Claude and Mrs.
Neselrode aren't living with us

and our expenses
aren't so high, so...

Well, as a matter of fact...

I thought that...

I was so busy cooking
I forgot to tell you

that your firm wants you back
at your old job

at $100 a week with a four-week
vacation at full pay and in advance.

I'm sorry I wasn't here, dear.

I'd have told them
I wanted $200 a week

a six months' vacation
and full pay.

I want that paper to wrap up
these belongings of ambrose.

The weather's turning cold now

and I want to take his
underwear and socks over to him.

I think you're a perfect fool.

Why don't you let him come
and get them himself?

Please let me do things in my
own way, and hand me that paper.

If you take that paper,
he's sure to wake up.

You'd better stir yourself and
go into town and look for a job.

This is just a lot of nonsense, taking
a nap every morning after breakfast.

There, there.

There, cover up,
you'll catch more cold.

Leave me alone, ma.

I do believe you're still
in love with that old fool.

That's a fine thing
for you to call him

after he went out of his way
to invite you and Claude

to go for a ride
in his new car tomorrow.

I'll be back later.

Why, it's beginning to rain!

Take a drink of this
hot coffee, dad.

Try one of these sandwiches.