All language subtitles for NCIS.S03E05.Switch.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264-NTb

WOMAN ( on phone ):
What do you want?

MAN:
Honey, I don't care.

You don't care?
I didn't mean I don't care
like that.

How come I always...
I'm just not that picky.

come up with the ideas?
Why don't you make that thing

you made the first night
I came over.

What was that thing I made?

It had a green...

sauce, right?

You don't even know, do you?!

Honey, do we have to do
this now?

Obviously, you never remember...
Honey, it's our anniversary!

You never listen to me,

you bastard.
( gasps )

( gunshots )

Jerry.

Jerry!

Captioning sponsored by
PARAMOUNT TELEVISION

and CBS

Hey, finish that
database yet, Probie?

Yesterday.

Then it should have been on my
desk yesterday,

shouldn't it?

I didn't realize a compilation
of nudie bars was that urgent.

Well, it is.

Why?

I don't have
to explain myself

to a junior agent.

Okay, is this
work related, because...

But I will, just this once!

It's a mercy
mission, Probie.

A buddy of mine
is getting married

to a particularly
unpleasant beast of a woman.

So?

So...

So the memory of
his bachelor party

will be the only thing
that sustains him

through the rest of his
miserable existence.

I will print it out as soon as
I'm finished with this, okay?

On behalf of men everywhere,
we thank you, Probie.

What are you working on?

Uh, I'm reviewing my
credit card statement.

There appears to
be some anomalies.

50 DVD copies
of "Forrest Hump."

Yeah, see, I don't even know
what a "Forrest Hump" is.

Well, it's like "Forrest Gump"
with naked people, Probie.

What?

It's a porno.

Or so I've been told.

This is obviously an error
with the credit card company.

Oh, or it's identity theft.

No, it's not possible.

I use a secure browser and-and
the latest firewall protection.

TONY:
Look at that.

A $5,000 charge
from John Deere.

Down payment
on that combine

you've always
dreamed of, Probie?

GIBBS:
Put the farm equipment on hold.

Sailor was shot on Route 249.

Tony,

grab the gear.

Green Acres.

Gas the truck.

Where the hell is David?

Uh, boss?

Officer David
is, uh...

Late. I took the wrong bus

this morning.

Had to walk from
the 18th Street stop.

That's a tough
part of town.

I've been in worse.

Won't happen again, Gibbs.

I know.

( siren blares )

Special Agent Gibbs?

No.

He's the older gentleman
with the smile on his face.

HAMPTON:
Agent Gibbs.

Car's in a crevice
at the bottom.

Victim's dead inside.

Lieutenant Hampton.
Virginia State Police.

The last few yards
are pretty steep.

One of the EMTs managed
to make it all the way down.

Fire Department's
bringing in

special equipment
to extricate the body.

It's gonna take awhile.

McGee.
McGEE:
Yo.

Sketch.

Get close enough
without breaking your neck.

On it.

DiNozzo. Photos.

Is there a problem?

You didn't say anything
about my neck.

Uh, I'll be careful.

What about me?

Who called it in?

His wife.

She was on the phone
with him when it happened.

Officer David,
take her statement

I should warn you, I'm
not very good with women.

Well, that'll make
two things you're not
very good at today.

And the first?

Being on time.

I'm sorry for
the delay, Jethro.

JIMMY:
Yeah, traffic was murder.

Sorry, poor choice
of words there.

See what you can get.

He's trapped in
there pretty good.

Oh, we'll do our best.

I hope you brought

more appropriate footwear,
Mr. Palmer.

The journey to our petty officer
looks rather challenging.

Don't worry, Doctor. I have
a merit badge in hiking.

I have a driver's license,
Mr. Palmer.

It doesn't mean I turn up
at Indianapolis in my Morgan.

ZIVA:
You were on the phone
with him when he was shot?

He couldn't remember pesto
and it pissed me off.

How stupid is that?

Could you tell me
how many shots?

( sniffs )

Do you know what the last words
I said to him were?

I called him a bastard.

And I can't take it back.

Not now, I can't.

( sniffles )

( camera clicking )

If it's any
consolation, Probie,

I had my identity
stolen once.

Really?

They charged my Visa

for a vintage Barbie doll.

Career girl outfit?

Ooh, with the matching
briefcase and pumps?

Oh, well, um...

I-I had a, uh, girlfriend
who collected once.

We used to line
them up on the...

I lost respect for you
at the word "pumps."

Get back to work.

It's kinda hard to sketch
from this distance.

Well, don't get any closer.

It gets steeper
as it gets deeper.

One false move and...
( rustling )

Oh!

( grunts )

Look out!
( grunts )

( yells )

Good hustle, Palmer.

ZIVA:
No skid marks.

He didn't attempt
to control the car

before it went over.

They were having an argument
over a six-month anniversary.

I don't understand
the half-year thing.

I thought perhaps...

I don't understand
anniversaries period.

Apparently, neither did
her husband.

She was screaming at him

on the phone when she heard
a loud gunshot

followed by the crash.

What else?

She could hear a low moan
for a few minutes

after impact.

JIMMY ( moaning ):
Oh!

Yeah, I think
it's sprained, guys.

Ah, Dr. Mallard's

gonna be upset,
isn't he?

Uh, wouldn't worry about him.

But Gibbs

sees you wearing loafers
at a crime scene...

He'll pretty much
kill you dead.

Ow!

( grunting )

We're having a little trouble
with the help.

Nothing for you
to worry about.

It's gonna take more

time than usual, but we're
gonna get you out of there.

I promise.

Is anybody gonna

join me down here?!

Uh, Gibbs said not
to get too close.

Yeah, you really shouldn't
be down there, Ducky.

It's not safe.

The exit wound

to the Petty Officer's neck

seems to indicate the bullet
went straight through.

There could be a spent round
that might be

crucial to
our investigation.

Well, as you've
pointed out many times,

I'm-I'm just
a junior field agent.

All the more reason
you need the experience, Probie.

How about I follow
in your footsteps,

you lead the way?

How about you kiss my
experienced buttocks?

Am I gonna have to call Jethro

on this one, gentlemen?!

No, we're good.

Chances of finding
that bullet are...

One in a million.

You got to see this,
Gibbs.

The grooves made
that pattern.

It's the exact same design as
the cover of Plastic Death's

second CD.

Don't even tell me
you don't know

who Plastic Death is, 'cause
it's only, like, my favorite...

Not now, Abby.

It could be
a sign, Gibbs.

Like that tortilla skillet
with the image of Jesus in it.

They thought that
was a miracle.

It'll be a miracle
you still have a job

if you don't get back on topic.

I see your point, O Great One.

This is me
getting back on topic.

Nine millimeter.

120 grade.

The window was rolled up
when he was shot.

Glass?

There's traces
in the rifling.

Manufacturer?

Can't tell.

I'm gonna plug this into the
FBI's drug/fire database

and see if I get a match, but...

But it's gonna
take awhile.

See?

Mind reading.

There may be something

supernatural going on here.

Let me know when
you have something.

I bet I could
sell this on eBay.

Did you know
they got 28 grand

for the grilled-cheese sandwich

with the image
of the Virgin Mary on it?

Gibbs?

McGEE:
Preliminary trajectory
shows that the bullet

passed straight through
the driver-side window.

So, I recommend we search
the area along this path

looking for spent brass.

You won't find it.

Nine millimeter rounds are slow
and only accurate

to about 30 meters.

The shooter was in a moving car
that pulled up alongside.

Yeah, that is
one possibility, Ziva.

But you see,

we're investigators,
which means

we investigate things,
we don't assume.

She's right.

Wife said she heard
the gunshot over the phone.

Shooter had
to be close.

Thank you.

GIBBS:
What do we know about
Petty Officer Smith?

Uh, ran his
military ID.

He was a clerk
at Norfolk.

Had four months left
before his discharge.

Tony, take Ziva with you,
check with the C.O.

( mumbles ):
Yeah.

When you're done with that,
have her sweep

the trajectory for brass.

But why?

You just said I...

Because DiNozzo's right, too.

( phone rings )

All of these people are
in the military?

Yeah, the uniforms
are kind of a dead giveaway.

Then why aren't they armed?

TONY:
Because we're in America.

And the machine guns
would just get in the way.

Okay.

Commander.

What can I do
for NCIS today?

Sorry to have
to tell you this, sir,

but one of your men was
killed this morning.

My God.

Who?

Petty Officer Jerry Smith.

Smith?

He was shot on Route 249
on his way into work.

I think you have my man

confused with
someone else.

That's Petty Officer
Jerry Smith

right over there.

( chuckles ):
Why would anyone want

to impersonate me?

Let's see-- blackmail,
espionage, terrorism,

potential assassination.

I'm just...I'm just
a clerk, ma'am.

I don't have a security
clearance or anything.

What kind of a clerk?

I'm in a supply unit.

I'm an SK-2.

I'm new to NCIS, Petty Officer.

You're gonna have to be
more specific.

W-Well, basically,

I'm just a storekeeper.

Um, like today
I filled requests

for TP, liquid soap,

toilet seat covers.

( chuckling ):
We call it getting a-head.

( laughs )

Because in the Navy the
head is another word...

For the toilet.
Yes, I know.

Perhaps this has something to do
with your personal life?

Well, probably not.

I don't really have one.

Most nights I
just go home

and surf the web
or watch reality TV.

Really into Survivor.

Average Joe...

The Amazing Race is cool.

I like Extreme Makeover, but...

I don't own a TV.

Really? Wow, I don't think
I've ever met anyone...

What does your wife think

about, uh,
all this nightly stimulation?

I don't have a wife.

No girlfriend, either.

I just don't really
seem to do very well

( chuckling ):
...in that department.

It's just me and Max.

Max is your boyfriend?

N-No!

Jeez, I'm, like,

as straight
as they come.

Max is a marmoset.

A monkey?

A pet, ma'am,
nothing more.

That's, um, reassuring,
Petty Officer.

A buddy of mine
was shipping out.

Was in a bit of a bind.

I said, "No way," but...

I got one look
at the little guy.

He's just so damn cute, ma'am.

( giggles )

MORRIS:
Petty Officer Smith

was transferred from Pearl
about the same time

I was, Agent DiNozzo.

You serve with him there?

Uh, different units.

We never crossed paths
until this command.

What kind of sailor is he?

Officially, he's never
missed a day's work.

He's always on time.

I'm more interested
in unofficially, Commander.

It's not in my nature
to be disparaging.

Well, I've got a body
lying on a slab back at NCIS,

so, by all means,
disparage away.

I guess you could say
Petty Officer Smith

is not the brightest sailor
that I've ever commanded.

Now that I say it out loud,

the thought occurs to me

that could very well be
the reason someone
found it so easy to steal

his identity.
( Smith laughing )

Can you think of any reason

why someone would want
to impersonate him?

God, no, Agent DiNozzo.

God, no.

( slams phone receiver down )

More porno?

What do we have, McGee?

Three more charges
since yesterday.

Sorry.

Sorry, boss.

Um, cell phone records

are downloading now.

Okay. Looks
like Petty Officer Smith...

Petty Officer Smith in the car

not the one on base
who's the real...

Yeah, I got it, McGee.

Well, he was definitely talking
to Mrs. Smith.

If that
is her real name.

McGee!

Uh, he was talking to her

at their home from his cell

just before
she called in the accident.

Got an address here.

It's an apartment
in Newport News.

Lease is in the wife's name.

Ziva, you're with me.

Possibly a point man for an
operational reconnaissance

of the naval base.
I would...

That means you go with him.

Now.
DiNOZZO:
Preferably before

the elevator doors close.

You just hung up
on Director Shepard.

Uh-huh.

In my country,
the officer in charge

is always...
In my country, on my team,
working my cases,

my people don't bypass
the chain of command.

Which is?
Me.

We clear on that,

Officer David?

Crystal...

Agent Gibbs.

( elevator resumes descent )

( elevator stops )

Except she called me.

What would you
have me do?

Smile.

Talk about the weather.

Tell her to call me.

And if that doesn't work?

You're a smart girl.

Think of something.

( elevator resumes descent )

( elevator stops )

I am merely trying to do my job.

Your job is to follow
my instructions.

And I respect that.

Is it too much to ask
for some in return?

No. It's not.

( elevator resumes descent )

So that's it?

Mm-hmm.

Don't even get a slap
on the head?

Don't push it.

Just to be clear,

are there any more of these
rules I should be aware of?

About 50 of them.

( chuckles )

And I don't suppose
they're written down

anywhere that I could...

No.

Then how am I supposed to...

My job is to teach
them to you.

No picture

of your husband
in uniform.

Jerry hated the Navy.

He only joined for the money
they'd give him for college.

But he couldn't wait to get out.

I was so mean to him

on the phone.

It was our half anniversary.

We know.

Very special occasion.

Why can't men understand that?

Your husband talk about his work
much, Mrs. Smith?

Never.

He wouldn't even
let me visit him on base

or even call him there.

You never saw him
at his work?

Never dropped him off?

I told you he hated the Navy.

Every morning

he'd put on his uniform

and go to the office.

Soon as he got home,

couldn't get out of it
fast enough.

You didn't know Jerry long
before you married, did you?

Only three months.

I know.

It was crazy.

It just felt right,
you know?

Jerry was the first

truly decent man I'd ever met.

What's going on here?

This is Petty Officer
Jerry Smith.

He's been working

at Norfolk
for about

four months.

His commanding officer
confirmed it.

GIBBS:
He look familiar?

I don't know this man.

I don't understand.

Neither do we.

DUCKY:
Discoloration indicates blunt
force trauma.

Yes, these abdominal bruises
here in this area

are consistent
with the door frame

crushing against his body.

Do you think Epsom salt
reduces swelling faster?

Mr. Palmer,

I'm sure our mystery guest

would appreciate it

if you could concentrate
all your efforts

on helping me
to discover the cause

of his demise
rather than obsessing

on how you will look in shorts
this weekend.

Sorry, Doctor.

Actually, I found

the ladies tend to be
sympathetic

towards visible injury.

Really?

Yes. My first year
in college,

I suffered an unfortunate
injury to my testicles.

The excruciating pain
was offset

by impressive swelling
which Ramona Kincaid,

bless her heart...

found...

extremely
fascinating.

There we are.

Now the bullet wound to the neck

evaded the anterior triangle,

thus missing
both the carotid artery

and jugular vein.

Most of the damage
is muscular.

It also grazed

the esophagus
and thyroid.

Oh, dear.

Severe damage to the liver,

pancreas,

spleen, oh, and there's

a nasty tear
to the left ventricle

caused by a bruised rib.

Cause of death is from
the trauma of the crash.

You just earned yourself
another merit badge,

Mr. Palmer.

He was alive for several
minutes after he was shot.

Sorry to have
to say it,

my poor fellow, but you'd
have been better off

if your assassin had been
a more precise marksman.

( computer beeps )

ZIVA:
You know,
this case reminds me

of something my father
used to tell me as a child.

( sarcastically ):
"Really, Ziva?

What was that?"

He would say that
no one

could ever truly know
another person or their secrets.

I, of course,
refused to believe him.

"And now, Ziva,
as an adult?"

I believe he was never
more honest with me.

What do you believe, Gibbs?

I think I really
gotta get the radio
on this car fixed.

( phone rings )

Yeah, Abby.

Got a match on the dead guy's
prints, Gibbs,

from the APHIS database.

He's in the military?

Anchors away, Gibbs-o.

Who?

You're not gonna believe it.

Try me.

You're not.

Who the hell is he, Abs?

Petty Officer Jerry Smith.

He actually is
Petty Officer Jerry Smith.

He's stationed at the Regional
Supply Office in Norfolk.

Okay.

The dead guy downstairs
who we thought

was impersonating
Petty Officer Jerry Smith

is actually the real
Petty Officer Jerry Smith.

And the Jerry Smith

Tony and Ziva talked to
in Norfolk

turns out to be
the fake Jerry Smith.

It's... confusing.

Kind of like
"The pellet with the poison's

in the vessel with the pestle?"

"Chalice from the palace
has the brew

that is true?"

Court Jester Danny Kay?

Come on, guys, it's a classic.

Thank you, Boss.

Who is he, McGee?

John Kirby.

We lifted his prints
from his desk in Norfolk.

His empty desk--

he didn't report for duty today.

He and Smith had overlapping
tours at Jacksonville in '02,

Kirby was discharged in '03.

Honorably.

Boss, these guys must have
had this planned

from the first day
of Smith's new assignment.

You think so,
McGee?

Gonna need Kirby's...

Address.

Lives on
West Little Creek.

Been there about a year.

And the warrant.

DiNozzo. David.

Take a ride.
You got it, Boss.

Get a BOLO out on Kirby
with the FBI, local and state.

Already done, boss.

"Bolo"?
Be On The Lookout.

Good job, McGee.

Go on. Catch up to him.

( mimicking ):
"Good job, McGee."

Is he always this juvenile?

Only on days of the week
ending with the word "day."

ZIVA:
I'll drive, Tony.

No, no, no. Not gonna make
that mistake again.

Did you really think
my driving was that terrible?

Aside from the high speed
and near misses?

Let's just say it's
an acquired taste.

Like regurgitated lunch.

That's disgusting, DiNozzo.

Tell me about
it, Probie.

That chili cheese dog
was hard to chew

the second time around.

Maybe we should give her
another chance.

It's not like she killed
or maimed anyone.

Maybe we should concentrate
on why John Kirby

switched places with
Seaman Smith at Norfolk

and leave death wish
for another day.

It could very well
be an assassin.

He works in
a supply office.

Who's he going
to assassinate? Mr. Clean?

All the better not to draw
attention to himself.

She's right.

It's a big base.
Lot of targets.

I don't know.

Look at the guy--
he's such a...
Pimp.

Wimp.
Wimp.

Very much in line with
other assassins.

She's right, Tony.

Look at Lee Harvey Oswald.
Sirhan Sirhan.

That's original, McGee.

Is there any part of your brain

that's your own?

At least I have one, Tony.

What's that supposed
to mean?

Nothing.

We're not going anywhere.

What, until I apologize?

No, not until
you apologize.

We're in the wrong damn car.

What'd you find, Abs?

After the car crashed
through the railing,

it went end over
end for about

100 feet...

before finally slamming to
a stop up against a boulder,

which crushed the driver's
side door into his body.

Which led to a lot
of blood.

I also found these

in the trunk.

Three identical sets
of Hawaiian shirts

and khaki pants.

Correction.
You find anything useful?

Maybe,

but it's probably nothing.

Do not make me say
a magic word now, Abs.

Of course not.

But it is a cool idea.

It's in the blood patterns.

The residual splatter from
where the bullet struck...

is there.

Exit wound splatter is there...

...dropping slightly from
the angle of the impact.

Normal when they
pass through flesh.

Very good, Gibbs.

But that would be the case

of a Senior Lead Special Agent

who has worked hundreds
of crime scene investigations

throughout his storied career.

I'd hate to start smacking
you like I do DiNozzo.

You wouldn't.

You would?

It won't be on the head.

The blood here is darker.

And the pattern is random.

Skip to the probably nothing
part, will ya?

The trail of splatter is wider
than you'd expect.

And the blood is
smeared somewhat here

like something brushed
up against it.

What?

I have absolutely no idea.

That would be
the probably
nothing part.

But I haven't analyzed it

in my computer yet.

Do it.

I love Hawaiian shirts.

I'm not surprised.

It's a cultural experience

you couldn't appreciate.

Isn't that right, Probie?

Wouldn't be caught dead in one.

( gasps ):
It can't be.

Do you realize what
we have here?

Another ugly shirt?

This is an authentic,
Magnum, P.I.

jungle bird design.

100% cotton,

bamboo buttons.

"Made in Hawaii" label.

C'mon. This is the Holy Grail

of Aloha garments.

That's great.

Eight seasons

Magnum wore this shirt,

putting up with Higgins
and those stupid dogs.

"Zeus! Apollo!"

It's a TV show,
it was big in the '80s.

I know who Tom Selleck is, Tony.

A hot, sexy American man
of adventure.

Well, he was...
he was good. Sure.

Take away the shirt, moustache,
Detroit Tigers hat,

Ferrari, the Audi, wine cellar,
Robin Masters' Estate,

Rick, TC and helicopter...

McGEE:
Well, it looks like Kirby

has not checked his e-mail

or even turned on his
computer

since yesterday.

Once he saw us at Norfolk,
he must have taken a kite.

Hike. The expression is

taking a hike.

I think she may have had it
confused with go fly a kite.

I speak five languages.

Forgive me if I get confused.

Sometimes.

I found his bank book.

Checkbook.

Whatever you call it.

His deposits seem high.

Where you come from
they may seem high,

but here in the good ol'
U.S. of A...

these are really, really high.

( clattering )

I think it's C...

Shh!

( gasps )

( screeches )

It's a...

It's a marmoset.

McGEE:
Actually that's a capuchin.

I don't advise shooting him.

Americans and their pets.

It would be a public relations
nightmare.

You knew all about
this, didn't ya?

ZIVA:
I tried to tell you,

but you shushed me.

Well, next time try harder.

His name is Max.

I read a Snapple cap
that said

that the most
popular name for a pet

in the United States is Max.

That's funny.
I thought it was Tim.

GIBBS:
We know that your husband

and John Kirby served together.

And we also know that
they switched places.

It's a federal crime to
impersonate military personnel,

which means that
withholding any information

is a chargeable offense.

So what do you know, Mrs. Smith?

I lied before.

I saw the other man once.

When?

Um, right after we moved here

from Hawaii.

I came home early
from yoga.

I wasn't feeling well.

He was with Jerry
in the den.

Jerry was upset.

It was clear
I'd interrupted them.

When he left he said
I should forget

I ever saw him

and never tell anyone.

Do you think he's the one
who killed my husband?

McGEE:
Kirby was getting e-mails

from an anonymous Internet
account several times a week.

Each one was just a time
and location.

ABBY:
The times were random--

all throughout the day--

and the locations were
business and residential

addresses all throughout
Norfolk.

How long have they
been coming in?

About four months.

DiNOZZO:
Same time Kirby's been

posing as Smith.

You think Kirby was doing
Smith's job

while Smith was doing Kirby's?

I've seen communications
like this before.
So have I.

Many intelligence agencies

use this technique
for arranging a drop off.

I believe you refer

to them as goblins?

Spooks.
The term is spooks.

According to this,
there's a drop scheduled

for this afternoon, Gibbs.

Where and when, Abs?

Granby and Harbor.
Southeast corner. 1400.

One of you is gonna have
to pose as Kirby.

Yeah, that really doesn't
work for him.

Boss, for once I gotta
agree with Tony here.

I don't think

I'm the Hawaiian shirt type.

You're the closest we've
got to an agent in looks

to Smith and
Kirby, McGee.

Which won't matter if whoever
he's meeting with

knows their faces.

No, it won't.

But if doesn't, we just might
get something,

which is more than we have now.

DiNozzo, you and Ziva
will be here

mobile on Granby,

as far down as you can be

while maintaining
a visual contact.

I'll be over here on Harbor.

McGee, we do not know
what we have here.

So go with the flow.

It gets hinky...

Call it.

Hinky?

What's hinky?

You know, like when your gut
is telling you something.

I see.

In my country we refer
to that as gas.

GIBBS:
You got a visual, DiNozzo?

Affirmative, Boss.

Suck that gut in, Probie.

Guy with the briefcase.

I got him, McGee.

ZIVA:
The logistics for the drop

may only start here, McGee.

Look for any sign.

Like what?

ZIVA:
A hand gesture,

the angle he holds

his briefcase.

It was nothing, Boss.

Lost the visual.

Same here, DiNozzo.

Move up the block.

( tires squealing )

There's a park bench

across the street from the
Baltimore Museum of Art.

Leave it underneath.

Girl with the pack.

Wait, McGee,

for her to make the move.
You've got four hours.

Don't be late.

Right.

Kirby, my nine o'clock, Boss.

GIBBS:
Got him. Get the girl.

Go, go, go, go, go, go, go.

( buzzing )

We lost her.

More like she lost us.

There are three wheels,
numbered zero through nine each.

That's 1,000 possibilities.

Then your fingers
better get busy.

Wait, there's more.

The seams are sealed with
something that looks

like an epoxy material.

It may be for waterproofing.

Or to hold explosive components
in place until they're exploded.

Badda-boom.
X-rays?

Didn't penetrate.

The metal's high density steel,

probably with a thin
layer of lead sheeting.

The nitrate sniffer came
up negative as well.

That's because
of the epoxy.

Probably.

Gibbs, it might not be
rigged with a bomb, per se.

Don't you love saying "per se"?

It's one of those phrases--
nobody really knows

what it means,
but you say it anyway...

Am I off topic again?

Big time.

Um, it could be armed
with something like

formic acid in a glass liner.

It would destroy the contents
if opened incorrectly.

There's also the possibility
it could be nothing.

It's just
a whole lot of bluff

to scare anyone from
taking a peek inside.

Do we have a bottom
line here, Abs?
We do.

You wanna hear it?
Yes.

The bomb squad is coming
to pick this up.

They're gonna do their thing,

and then I will get to the
bottom of this, Gibbs, but...

It's going to take time.

See? We are having
a melding of the minds.

TONY:
It was called The Transporter.

Didn't see it.

Cool British guy delivers
illegal stuff for a price.

Obviously what
Smith was doing.

And what Kirby was doing.

Then what
you were doing, Probie.

Only badly.

Yeah.
I got the case, didn't I?

You're missing the point.

How could there possibly
be a point?

I think what Agent
DiNozzo means is that

the Transporter would have

gotten the case,
gotten the girl,

and still have
held onto his cappuccino.

Exactly.

Speaking of movies,

you know what I was
thinking about, Probie?

Really not interested, Tony.

Mr. & Mrs. Smith.
Identity mystery.

Then there's our Smith.
Identity mystery.

And, if it turns out the guy
charging porn and tractors

on your credit card
is a Smith,

then that's
identity mystery.
Uh, Tony?

Not now, Probie.

I'm almost done
with this level.

Find out what's
in the case yet, boss?

We going
to interrogate Kirby now?
Nope.

That is a mistake.

The longer we wait,
the more time he has to...

I'm going to be
interrogating Kirby.

You and DiNozzo
will be observing.

Takes a while for him to, uh...
warm up to people, doesn't it?

Want to know the secret about
getting on his good side?

Of course.

Me, too.

I didn't kill Jerry.

GIBBS ( through speaker ):
I know. We checked.

You were on base
when it happened.

So... can I go now?

Impersonating a petty officer.

That's a felony.

Lying during a Federal
investigation.

Felony.
Resisting arrest.

That's a misdemeanor.

Not to mention what we have

in that case downstairs.

You looked in the case?

Look, I was only trying
to help, I swear to you.

It wasn't even my idea.

I doubt this has anything
to do with espionage, Tony.

Kirby's far too stupid
for this line of work.

Why did you two switch places?

Because... Jerry...

he couldn't keep it
in his damn pants.

Keep what in his pants?

You're kidding, right?

Come on.

( imitating disco music )

Dancing?

Yeah... dancing.

He had been fooling around

with this officer's wife
over at Pearl.

One night, the officer
came home early

and caught them in the act.

He got a good look
at Jerry's face,

but he didn't recognize him.

Jerry wasn't worried.

He was shipping out
the next week,

and they'd never met before.

That was the good news.

Until he got the bad news.

The husband was going to be
his C.O. at Norfolk.

Commander Morris.

Yes, sir.

Jerry only had four months left
to an honorable discharge.

Morris would've made sure
that didn't happen.

Who else knew about it?
No one.

I mean, that's why Jerry begged
me to switch places with him.

Except I couldn't leave my job.

Delivering illegal goods?

Wait, I...

I mean, I didn't even know what
was in the cases.

I was strictly transportation.

Hey, Kirby. They weren't
exactly using FedEx.

It was stupid of me.

( chuckles ):
Yeah.

But the money was really good.

Life since the Navy has...
been kinda hard on me.

You never looked inside?

No.

There were only two rules--

be on time and...

don't look in the cases.

Jerry, I...

...guess he looked.

Well, they killed him for it.

I think... I think I want
to get a lawyer now.

( chuckles ):
Oh, yeah.

You're gonna need one.

Remember that smeared area that
I thought was probably nothing?

Well, it probably might
not be probably nothing.

I'm not saying
the magic word, Abs.

Okay. This is the windshield
of the vehicle.

See the smeared marks?

There's four of them.
And they connect together.

Now, step back
and squint.
At what?

Just do it, Gibbs.

Like when you're
trying to figure out

he hidden message in the bad
3-D art at the fair.

This is important.

Try to see the bigger
picture for once.

See it?

Maybe an "M."

Yes, Gibbs.

Yes.

Those smears were
smeared on purpose.

Now, these are the photographs

of Petty Officer Smith's body
before it was washed.

He has blood
on his right index finger.

There were no lacerations
on that hand.

Petty Officer Smith
used his finger

to write a message
in his own blood?

Sometimes people in the throws
of death try to communicate.

Like that guy in
the L.A. Metrorail crash.

He wrote "I love you"
to his wife in his own blood.

He lived.

He did.

But Petty Officer Smith

is trying to tell us
who killed him.

What does "M" mean?

TONY:
Commander Morris.

How could you think that I had
anything to do with his murder?

Because you found out

he was the sailor
sleeping with your wife.

At Pearl?
Yes, Commander.

At Pearl Harbor.

That was Smith?

If I had known who he was I
would have killed him myself.

But I didn't.
I was here that morning.

There's a dozen witnesses
who will vouch for that.

Surveillance camera
at the main gate

has Commander Morris

coming on base an hour

before Smith's
time of death.

Leeway on time of death?

Ducky says 15,
maybe 20 minutes.

Drive time
to the crime scene.

30 minutes,
15 if you're driving.

Seven sailors
in his office

all verify he was in the supply
unit until we showed up.

Where in the supply unit?

Mostly in his private office,
behind closed doors.

Was there
another exit?

Could he have left
unseen through a window?

Windows don't open, Boss.
Solid plate glass.

Commander Morris couldn't have
been at the crime scene.

Yeah, I know that McGee.

He knows that, McGee.

His murder has to be related
to the delivery service.

Which we know nothing about.

Kirby claims he didn't even
know who he was working for.

Was Petty Officer Smith wearing
a seatbelt when he crashed?

Was Petty Officer Smith
wearing a seatbelt?!

( rapid typing )

( overlapping confirmations
of "No." )

He was in an unnaturally
contorted position.

Yes, very, very unusual.

I can flip the image.

Only if you want.

ZIVA:
"W."

What was the wife's name again?

It's Wendy.

When did you discover
your husband

was cheating on you, Wendy?

I don't know
what you're talking about.

Must have been a real shock.

You were so much
in love with him.

One decent
you've ever met--

wasn't really decent at all,
was he?

It's not true.

He called you
on the way to work.

You weren't home, were you?

I was. He called me at home.

Phone records show you forwarded
your home phone to your cell.

He had no idea
you followed him, Wendy.

He only worked
a couple of days a week.

I wonder what he did with all
the rest of that free time?

Did you know he cheated on me
on our wedding day?

Our wedding day.

JERRY'S VOICE:
Honey, honey.
It's our anniversary.

( gunshots )

McGEE:
Great. Thank you.

Well, that takes
care of them all.

Visa, Mastercard, Amex, Diner's.

Old cards cancelled,
new ones reissued

and it only took me
200 phone calls.

But you know I find
really interesting?

What?

That you actually
have Diner's.

What's wrong with that?
Nothing.

It's just I've
never met anyone

who used Diner's Club who
wasn't wearing Depends.

It's a very hip piece
of plastic, Tony.

Yes, in the year 1927.

ABBY:
Good news and
bad news Gibbs.

Good news is I'm still cute.

Bad news, the bomb squad

got a little
trigger happy.

They blew up the metal box?

Do you have any idea
what's beyond smithereens?

Not a clue.

Me, neither.

That's what we've got.

There's not much
I can do.
Nope.

Except put it back together.

Gibbs, it's
in a gajillion pieces.

That would take months.

It's the only like we had
to that delivery service, Abby.

Yeah?

Well, you're
not the one

who has to put it back
together, Officer David.

She doesn't like me, does she?

Eh...

( elevator dings )

( elevator doors shut )

Are you going home?

Not yet.

I thought I might be able
to help you with... that.

You have a degree
in forensic science?

No.

But I'm very good
at jigsaw puzzles.

We'll see.

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