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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:27,520 --> 00:00:30,040 Hello! 2 00:00:32,160 --> 00:00:35,200 Anybody home? 3 00:00:50,640 --> 00:00:53,720 Pizza! 4 00:00:56,840 --> 00:01:00,400 MUSICAL INTRODUCTION 5 00:01:00,400 --> 00:01:08,720 # You never close your eyes any more When I kiss your li-ips... # 6 00:01:08,720 --> 00:01:11,680 HEY, baby, thanks for comin'. 7 00:01:11,680 --> 00:01:18,680 # ..And there's no tenderness Like before in your fingerti-ips... 8 00:01:21,280 --> 00:01:27,640 # You're trying hard not to show it, baby, 9 00:01:27,640 --> 00:01:30,320 # But baby... 10 00:01:30,320 --> 00:01:33,440 # Baby, I know it... 11 00:01:33,440 --> 00:01:39,520 # You've lost that lo-o-oving feeling, 12 00:01:39,520 --> 00:01:45,280 # Whoa...# Ahhhhhh! 13 00:01:39,520 --> 00:01:45,280 Please, can I have your underpants? 14 00:01:45,280 --> 00:01:50,480 But will you wash them? 15 00:01:45,280 --> 00:01:50,480 I'd rather die. Here! Your bouquet. 16 00:01:50,480 --> 00:01:53,440 Nettles, my favourite! 17 00:01:53,440 --> 00:01:59,320 I can't believe I carry your genes. Push them to the side of the plate. 18 00:01:59,320 --> 00:02:01,960 My sides are splitting (!) 19 00:02:01,960 --> 00:02:06,480 Let's put her back in the test tube and have a girl next time. 20 00:02:06,480 --> 00:02:08,720 Here... Sure they're weeds? 21 00:02:08,720 --> 00:02:14,040 Pull 'em up and let God decide. I did it. What? The shopping. Yes? 22 00:02:14,040 --> 00:02:20,640 Aren't you going to say thanks? I do it every week. Oh, yeah. 23 00:02:20,640 --> 00:02:25,360 Ohhh, thanks. No, it's all right. Come on... 24 00:02:37,240 --> 00:02:40,360 They were on offer. 25 00:02:49,000 --> 00:02:53,600 I like oven chips.PHONE RINGS < I'll get it. 26 00:02:53,600 --> 00:02:57,040 Well, where's the cleaning stuff? 27 00:02:57,040 --> 00:03:02,560 Cleaning stuff? I'll go back tomorrow. 28 00:03:02,560 --> 00:03:06,840 Next time I'll make a list. 29 00:03:06,840 --> 00:03:12,480 < Mum, it's Gran. She's at the station. Right... 30 00:03:12,480 --> 00:03:15,520 WHY is she at the station? 31 00:03:18,920 --> 00:03:22,680 I was waiting for the right moment. 32 00:03:18,920 --> 00:03:22,680 Really (?) 33 00:03:22,680 --> 00:03:28,240 Can I help? Yes, wipe the worktops with some oven chips (!) 34 00:03:28,240 --> 00:03:32,920 David! This is not tidying! You can't see it. 35 00:03:32,920 --> 00:03:36,680 Look, Alistair Burnett's got a bum, 36 00:03:32,920 --> 00:03:36,680 but I can't see it. 37 00:03:36,680 --> 00:03:39,080 Where's it from?The planet Zarg. 38 00:03:39,080 --> 00:03:44,320 Well, take it back. Give me that and take those comics away. 39 00:03:44,320 --> 00:03:49,160 Oh, it's the swamp thing. Then it'll be right at home. Up! 40 00:03:49,160 --> 00:03:54,600 Why can't I fetch her in the van? I'm not giving her a head start. 41 00:03:54,600 --> 00:04:00,160 You'd think the Queen was coming. She's less fussy. Have you moved? 42 00:04:00,160 --> 00:04:03,880 I always have to move. Don't sit! 43 00:04:03,880 --> 00:04:08,960 What shall I do - hover? Yes. CRUNCHING 44 00:04:08,960 --> 00:04:11,880 Oh, that's where that got to. 45 00:04:11,880 --> 00:04:13,600 What? I don't know. 46 00:04:13,600 --> 00:04:14,960 DOORBELL RINGS 47 00:04:14,960 --> 00:04:16,080 Let Rona in. 48 00:04:16,080 --> 00:04:20,520 That all (?) Yes, run off with a gypsy. 49 00:04:22,320 --> 00:04:27,400 Hi!Finished! Come here...Mum! 50 00:04:27,400 --> 00:04:33,000 Right, she can't get me on the house...or the van. 51 00:04:33,000 --> 00:04:35,280 Have I forgotten anything? 52 00:04:35,280 --> 00:04:39,720 Yes. My black mass candles and sacrificial chickens. 53 00:04:39,720 --> 00:04:43,880 We may yet need them. Here's the car keys. Have fun. 54 00:04:43,880 --> 00:04:46,440 It's all right David sleeping over? Sure! 55 00:04:46,440 --> 00:04:50,600 Can I have the room with the mirrors? No! No! 56 00:04:50,600 --> 00:04:52,040 What's all the fuss? 57 00:04:52,040 --> 00:04:54,000 You haven't heard the story 58 00:04:54,000 --> 00:04:57,240 about the night the Germans bombed the Odeon. 59 00:04:57,240 --> 00:05:01,200 Come on, son. Remember the drill? Yep. 60 00:05:01,200 --> 00:05:05,560 What's that? Just a little aid to sanity. 61 00:05:05,560 --> 00:05:07,880 If she's being irritating, 62 00:05:07,880 --> 00:05:12,200 just think it might be the last time you ever see her. 63 00:05:14,680 --> 00:05:20,240 I have some work... Coat on, Jenny. She smokes in the car. Coat! 64 00:05:20,240 --> 00:05:25,880 It's like kissing an ashtray! How does she KNOW ? 65 00:05:26,960 --> 00:05:30,880 Thanks, Rona. It's only 2 nights. You're welcome. 66 00:05:30,880 --> 00:05:35,080 What is this story about the Odeon? I don't know that. 67 00:05:35,080 --> 00:05:37,440 You will, Oscar. You will... 68 00:05:37,440 --> 00:05:40,640 JENNY COUGHS 69 00:05:40,640 --> 00:05:44,480 What's the matter, Jen? Frog in your throat? 70 00:05:44,480 --> 00:05:46,760 Something like that. 71 00:05:46,760 --> 00:05:51,320 Gran, tell us about when the Odeon was bombed. 72 00:05:51,320 --> 00:05:55,200 < I'll never forget. There were bodies everywhere. 73 00:05:55,200 --> 00:05:58,720 There were two identical twins inside 74 00:05:58,720 --> 00:06:01,960 and when they gathered up the bits, 75 00:06:01,960 --> 00:06:06,600 they didn't know which bit belonged to which twin! 76 00:06:06,600 --> 00:06:10,880 Great! 77 00:06:06,600 --> 00:06:10,880 I think I'll open the window. 78 00:06:10,880 --> 00:06:16,440 < This your car, is it? No, Mum. It's Rona's. You remember Rona? 79 00:06:16,440 --> 00:06:18,520 Oh, yes. 80 00:06:20,840 --> 00:06:24,520 Where's your car? In the lockup. 81 00:06:24,520 --> 00:06:29,520 Ben's working on it. I'm still waiting for the right part. 82 00:06:29,520 --> 00:06:32,160 So is Madonna. 83 00:06:34,040 --> 00:06:38,160 Oh, look - we're passing the cemetery. 84 00:06:43,400 --> 00:06:47,320 We've put you in Jen's room, Mum. Shall I take this up? 85 00:06:47,320 --> 00:06:49,480 No, first things first... 86 00:06:49,480 --> 00:06:54,040 David, come and sit here. Come on, Jen, sit next to Gran. 87 00:06:54,040 --> 00:06:57,440 There, David. That's for you. 88 00:06:57,440 --> 00:07:02,240 "Cyborg Blood Rites"! Thanks, Gran. 89 00:07:02,240 --> 00:07:07,240 We don't really like him watching...He'll see them anyway. 90 00:07:07,240 --> 00:07:12,000 Here you are, Jen. I hope it fits. 91 00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:14,800 Thanks. 92 00:07:14,800 --> 00:07:19,320 Well, come on then. Let's see it. 93 00:07:30,160 --> 00:07:34,920 You can change it. 94 00:07:30,160 --> 00:07:34,920 Well... Of course not. 95 00:07:37,560 --> 00:07:41,840 Well, I'll just hang it up before it gets wrinkled. 96 00:07:41,840 --> 00:07:47,400 Right. I expect you're hungry. Chicken all right?Yes. 97 00:07:47,400 --> 00:07:51,880 Or a nice bit of fish. We've got chicken. 98 00:07:51,880 --> 00:07:55,560 Gran, tell me again about when the Germans... 99 00:07:55,560 --> 00:07:59,680 Why don't you get your things ready for Rona's?OK. 100 00:07:59,680 --> 00:08:03,560 I find chicken repeats on me. Don't you? 101 00:08:03,560 --> 00:08:10,080 No, I don't find chicken repeats on me. Ben, how about you? 102 00:08:10,080 --> 00:08:12,040 I'll go to the chip shop. 103 00:08:12,040 --> 00:08:17,000 Don't go to any trouble. It's just that chicken repeats on me. 104 00:08:17,000 --> 00:08:22,080 I'll go to the chip shop.Well, you have that then. I'll have chicken. 105 00:08:22,080 --> 00:08:27,160 Fried stuff goes right through me. But chicken repeats on you. 106 00:08:27,160 --> 00:08:29,840 But it doesn't go right through me. 107 00:08:29,840 --> 00:08:34,960 All right. We've got some plaice in mushroom sauce in the freezer. 108 00:08:34,960 --> 00:08:39,000 Don't go to any trouble. It's no trouble. 109 00:08:39,000 --> 00:08:41,960 D'you want a hand? No, thanks. 110 00:08:57,080 --> 00:09:00,840 LOUD ROCK MUSIC 111 00:09:20,400 --> 00:09:23,800 Right, fish it is. Everybody happy? 112 00:09:23,800 --> 00:09:26,800 Couldn't be happier. Good. 113 00:09:26,800 --> 00:09:31,560 By the way, we're sleeping in Jenny's room now. 114 00:09:31,560 --> 00:09:33,800 Won't that be fun? Oh. 115 00:09:33,800 --> 00:09:38,160 Well, I'll just get myself sorted out... 116 00:09:44,880 --> 00:09:48,520 It's all right. I can manage. 117 00:09:51,160 --> 00:09:56,560 And they didn't know which bit belonged to which body! Good story. 118 00:09:56,560 --> 00:10:01,600 What's this...? How would you like to blow up your air-bed now? 119 00:10:01,600 --> 00:10:03,400 Can I ? It's upstairs. 120 00:10:06,160 --> 00:10:08,960 Hello. Hi! 121 00:10:08,960 --> 00:10:14,360 How's it going? I've come out for care in the community. 122 00:10:14,360 --> 00:10:18,960 I'm getting ready for David. Could you give us a hand? 123 00:10:18,960 --> 00:10:21,720 Oh, yeah... 124 00:10:21,720 --> 00:10:26,360 Monday...Tuesday...Wednesday... Thursday...Friday... 125 00:10:26,360 --> 00:10:28,400 Saturday? 126 00:10:29,400 --> 00:10:34,760 You know, my mother thinks children 127 00:10:29,400 --> 00:10:34,760 are only there to love you. 128 00:10:34,760 --> 00:10:37,360 But you do love her, don't you? 129 00:10:37,360 --> 00:10:40,600 Yes, I love her. I just don't like her. 130 00:10:40,600 --> 00:10:42,960 Hi, Rona. Hi.Mother... 131 00:10:42,960 --> 00:10:46,040 ..can I see Scott tomorrow night? 132 00:10:46,040 --> 00:10:48,240 What are you doing over here? 133 00:10:48,240 --> 00:10:50,640 You never let us be alone! 134 00:10:50,640 --> 00:10:55,120 You won't want Scott to see you tomorrow night. 135 00:10:55,120 --> 00:11:01,360 Why? Because you'll be wearing that nice dress your Gran bought you. 136 00:11:01,360 --> 00:11:04,120 ..You can't make me do that. 137 00:11:05,240 --> 00:11:09,800 Even Doris Day would look dorky in that. Life's tough. 138 00:11:09,800 --> 00:11:14,880 Oh, God... And why have you left her alone with Dad?You're here. 139 00:11:14,880 --> 00:11:21,160 Rona! It's shaped like a person! > Um...just leave it there, will you? 140 00:11:24,120 --> 00:11:27,560 Look, she's only here for two 141 00:11:24,120 --> 00:11:27,560 nights.But... 142 00:11:27,560 --> 00:11:32,120 I know she can be difficult, but we have to make allowances. 143 00:11:32,120 --> 00:11:36,000 Just put up with her with good grace, like me and your father. 144 00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:39,280 Hi. 145 00:11:39,280 --> 00:11:44,720 I came to see how you were getting on. Fine, thank you. 146 00:11:44,720 --> 00:11:50,440 Oh. I'll go back then, shall I ? Yes. You coming? In a minute. 147 00:11:50,440 --> 00:11:53,920 Me, too. 148 00:11:53,920 --> 00:11:57,920 Wrong inflatable. 149 00:11:57,920 --> 00:12:01,600 Hi, Ben. Hi. 150 00:12:01,600 --> 00:12:07,000 Look, we better get back before she misses us. Yeah. 151 00:12:07,000 --> 00:12:10,400 Oh, come on! How bad can she be? 152 00:12:10,400 --> 00:12:14,560 PHONE RINGS 153 00:12:10,400 --> 00:12:14,560 Hello? 154 00:12:16,720 --> 00:12:20,720 Yes, yes it is. You remembered me! 155 00:12:21,800 --> 00:12:26,080 Yes, that's right. The tart! 156 00:12:28,720 --> 00:12:32,320 Well, so far, so hideous. 157 00:12:32,320 --> 00:12:37,560 What was worst for you? Everything. You? 158 00:12:37,560 --> 00:12:42,160 The same. Do you think we'll get like that? No. 159 00:12:42,160 --> 00:12:48,000 I'm going to be really weird. What stories will you tell? 160 00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:51,080 The one about when my wife's mother stayed 161 00:12:51,080 --> 00:12:55,000 and they didn't know which bits went with which BODY. 162 00:12:55,000 --> 00:12:59,760 Stop it! She might hear you. Let's give her something to really hear. 163 00:13:01,240 --> 00:13:05,880 Don't do that! She's only in the next room. 164 00:13:05,880 --> 00:13:10,200 Well, she must have done it at least once... 165 00:13:10,200 --> 00:13:16,360 What's she here for? The usual. To make our lives a living hell. 166 00:13:16,360 --> 00:13:22,120 DOOR BANGS 167 00:13:16,360 --> 00:13:22,120 Ssssh! What's that? 168 00:13:22,120 --> 00:13:26,200 Relax. Probably just a serial killer. 169 00:13:26,200 --> 00:13:30,600 COUGHING OUTSIDE 170 00:13:26,200 --> 00:13:30,600 She's going downstairs. 171 00:13:33,720 --> 00:13:36,040 Mum? 172 00:13:39,920 --> 00:13:43,520 What are you doing sitting down here in the dark? 173 00:13:43,520 --> 00:13:46,640 I didn't want to disturb anybody. 174 00:13:46,640 --> 00:13:49,160 You're not disturbing us. 175 00:13:49,160 --> 00:13:53,400 We love having you here. What's the trouble? 176 00:13:53,400 --> 00:13:57,320 Do you want a drink? All right then. 177 00:14:02,000 --> 00:14:06,640 What do you want - coffee? Well, only if you're making it. 178 00:14:06,640 --> 00:14:10,480 I seem to be.Yes, please. 179 00:14:18,560 --> 00:14:24,600 Where do you keep YOUR coffee, Mum? In the cupboard by the fridge. 180 00:14:24,600 --> 00:14:27,960 It's tidier there. 181 00:14:29,840 --> 00:14:33,480 Sugar?By the cereals. 182 00:14:39,200 --> 00:14:44,560 Ben in bed? Yes, unless you've moved HIM somewhere. 183 00:14:44,560 --> 00:14:47,720 I get used to things in their place. 184 00:14:49,560 --> 00:14:53,320 Mum, do we have to fight over this battlefield 185 00:14:53,320 --> 00:14:57,080 every time we see each other?Battlefield? 186 00:14:57,080 --> 00:15:02,400 You haven't mentioned what this visit's all about. 187 00:15:04,360 --> 00:15:06,800 Do you remember Connie Wells? 188 00:15:06,800 --> 00:15:10,240 She lived opposite you and Dad. How is she? 189 00:15:10,240 --> 00:15:12,680 They're burying her tomorrow afternoon. 190 00:15:12,680 --> 00:15:17,680 Was she a friend? No, not really. 191 00:15:18,800 --> 00:15:24,120 Yes?You know you've got a cobweb up there in that corner. 192 00:15:24,120 --> 00:15:30,800 OK, so you're not going to tell me. Haven't you got a feather duster? 193 00:15:30,800 --> 00:15:33,400 The kettle will be boiled soon. 194 00:15:33,400 --> 00:15:37,800 I'm off where I belong... The young daughter's room. 195 00:15:37,800 --> 00:15:40,280 Goodnight. 196 00:15:40,280 --> 00:15:45,600 I'll be all right. Just didn't want to disturb anybody. 197 00:15:45,600 --> 00:15:48,640 COWBOY SHOOT-OUT ON TV 198 00:15:50,240 --> 00:15:53,240 No, I think I'll just have two. 199 00:15:53,240 --> 00:15:55,720 Well, make up your mind. Bill! 200 00:15:55,720 --> 00:15:59,560 I'm sorry, I didn't get much sleep last night. 90p, please. 201 00:16:04,320 --> 00:16:07,080 You seem rather tense.No, I'm not. 202 00:16:08,120 --> 00:16:10,960 Oh, no - I've killed an eclair! 203 00:16:10,960 --> 00:16:16,720 Here. Are you still brooding about your mother? She won't talk to me. 204 00:16:16,720 --> 00:16:21,520 Do you talk to Jenny? I do nothing but talk to Jenny. 205 00:16:21,520 --> 00:16:24,400 She's too serious about Drip. 206 00:16:24,400 --> 00:16:29,800 Spin. Scott. God knows what they get up to when I'm not there. 207 00:16:29,800 --> 00:16:34,440 She's becoming so difficult to reason with now she's older... 208 00:16:35,480 --> 00:16:42,040 I'm turning into my mother! I'll be wearing Crimplene slacks soon! 209 00:16:42,040 --> 00:16:46,400 We all get like our mothers. It's Nature's revenge. 210 00:16:46,400 --> 00:16:50,320 I'll end up 15 stone and unable to get my bra on 211 00:16:50,320 --> 00:16:54,400 without a team of scaffolders. So what's new? 212 00:16:54,400 --> 00:17:00,080 Oh, come on, misery. Let's play Blind Date. 213 00:17:00,080 --> 00:17:03,760 All right. Next one is my partner for the night. 214 00:17:03,760 --> 00:17:06,920 And the experience is whatever he buys. 215 00:17:06,920 --> 00:17:10,280 You're on... Look out! 216 00:17:12,320 --> 00:17:16,000 Yes?A sticky bun, please. 217 00:17:16,000 --> 00:17:22,520 ..And a cream horn. 218 00:17:16,000 --> 00:17:22,520 RONA GIGGLES 219 00:17:22,520 --> 00:17:26,920 Large or small? 220 00:17:22,520 --> 00:17:26,920 HYSTERICAL LAUGHTER 221 00:17:26,920 --> 00:17:31,840 This way, boys. It's out here. 222 00:17:26,920 --> 00:17:31,840 Oh, very nice! 223 00:17:31,840 --> 00:17:37,040 My husband has been fiddling about, but it doesn't seem to work. 224 00:17:37,040 --> 00:17:42,040 Gerry?Yeah? Shut your mouth - there's a draught. 225 00:17:42,040 --> 00:17:46,680 Any good? I can't tell. Will you get the circuit-tester? 226 00:17:46,680 --> 00:17:51,840 What for? So I can wire it up to your head and listen to the echo! 227 00:17:51,840 --> 00:17:53,720 To TEST the circuits. 228 00:17:53,720 --> 00:17:57,240 Oh, right, right. 229 00:18:00,560 --> 00:18:06,960 So... you're in this caper now, are you? Been a long time, Pauline. 230 00:18:06,960 --> 00:18:10,320 Still with Bill? Yep. Two kids. 231 00:18:10,320 --> 00:18:13,640 Should have guessed you'd marry her. 232 00:18:13,640 --> 00:18:17,360 You threw me over, as I recall. 233 00:18:13,640 --> 00:18:17,360 Youth, eh? 234 00:18:17,360 --> 00:18:22,880 Funny how things worked out. Is it? I still got married in white. 235 00:18:22,880 --> 00:18:27,920 To...?Trevor. I should have known a "Trevor" would be useless. 236 00:18:27,920 --> 00:18:30,080 Oh, I dunno. Trevor Brooking. 237 00:18:30,080 --> 00:18:34,600 Trevor Francis...My Trevor just manages these days, as well. 238 00:18:34,600 --> 00:18:37,520 Here you go... Cheers. 239 00:18:37,520 --> 00:18:39,840 I'll pour the tea. 240 00:18:39,840 --> 00:18:44,600 You know, I think I might have just scored here! 241 00:18:44,600 --> 00:18:49,200 Don't even think about it. She'd have you for breakfast. 242 00:18:49,200 --> 00:18:54,600 Anything else, sir? And half a dozen of those tarts. 243 00:18:54,600 --> 00:18:59,600 SHRIEK OF LAUGHTER 244 00:18:54,600 --> 00:18:59,600 Two pounds twenty, please. 245 00:19:03,320 --> 00:19:07,800 Oh, who'd have thought it? Next one's mine... 246 00:19:07,800 --> 00:19:12,640 No, it's girls. 247 00:19:07,800 --> 00:19:12,640 She said I was a slag! 248 00:19:12,640 --> 00:19:14,440 SHE'S a slag! 249 00:19:14,440 --> 00:19:17,400 So I called her a cow. 250 00:19:17,400 --> 00:19:19,360 She IS a slag! 251 00:19:19,360 --> 00:19:23,480 She just took it! 252 00:19:19,360 --> 00:19:23,480 The slag! Yes? 253 00:19:23,480 --> 00:19:29,480 2 doughnuts. You're out early. What? From the Rank Charm School (!) 254 00:19:29,480 --> 00:19:35,360 The teachers called a strike. The whole 4th year got sent home. 255 00:19:35,360 --> 00:19:38,760 Oh?Shall we go and see Kevin? 256 00:19:38,760 --> 00:19:43,160 Yeah. His mum's out. And his bedroom locks! 257 00:19:43,160 --> 00:19:48,320 Go on - I'll cover for you. 258 00:19:43,160 --> 00:19:48,320 It's never busy on Wednesdays. Ta. 259 00:19:48,320 --> 00:19:51,280 She's probably doing nothing. 260 00:19:51,280 --> 00:19:54,920 And Bruce Forsyth has all his own hair! 261 00:19:59,760 --> 00:20:03,640 RAPPING ON CAR WINDOW Hello, love. 262 00:20:03,640 --> 00:20:07,880 Can we drop you somewhere? Mum, stop it! 263 00:20:07,880 --> 00:20:12,320 This is Charlie Wells. Pleased to meet you... Mum! 264 00:20:12,320 --> 00:20:17,640 We could make a detour. It's okay. It's no trouble. I'll be fine. 265 00:20:17,640 --> 00:20:20,560 You sure? Yes! 266 00:20:23,240 --> 00:20:26,440 What AM I doing? 267 00:20:26,440 --> 00:20:29,400 Fancy an ice-cream? 268 00:20:36,320 --> 00:20:40,800 We're just finishing. 269 00:20:36,320 --> 00:20:40,800 Get the receipt book, Gerry.Right. 270 00:20:45,080 --> 00:20:47,880 I'm still house-training him. 271 00:20:47,880 --> 00:20:50,720 Can I ask you an honest question? 272 00:20:50,720 --> 00:20:54,760 Depends on whether you want an honest answer. 273 00:20:54,760 --> 00:21:00,000 Still fancy me? Well, it's immaterial, really. 274 00:21:00,000 --> 00:21:03,040 It needn't be. Oh, yes? 275 00:21:03,040 --> 00:21:07,600 I expect you get called out at all hours. 276 00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:12,560 And what will Trevor do - bring on 277 00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:12,560 the oranges at half-time? 278 00:21:12,560 --> 00:21:15,960 It doesn't have to be HERE. 279 00:21:17,120 --> 00:21:19,760 Really hot in here, eh? 280 00:21:20,840 --> 00:21:23,400 You're telling me. 281 00:21:24,680 --> 00:21:30,240 I'm glad I ran into you again. I wanted to say thanks.What for? 282 00:21:30,240 --> 00:21:35,440 That trouble with the van. That could happen to anyone. 283 00:21:35,440 --> 00:21:40,200 Particularly if you can't drive. You looked as if you could. 284 00:21:40,200 --> 00:21:45,160 I had a few lessons once, 285 00:21:40,200 --> 00:21:45,160 but I never took the test.Why not? 286 00:21:45,160 --> 00:21:49,360 I don't know really. Never had the time, I suppose... 287 00:21:49,360 --> 00:21:53,240 I'm married. With two kids. 288 00:21:53,240 --> 00:21:57,440 That's not who you are. That's what you do. 289 00:21:57,440 --> 00:22:03,000 I never thought of it like that. Anyway - thanks.You're welcome. 290 00:22:03,000 --> 00:22:07,880 I'll have to go. Oh, my God - I forgot... So do I. 291 00:22:09,760 --> 00:22:15,120 Hey! You never told me who YOU are. 292 00:22:19,280 --> 00:22:23,440 Jenny! Jenny! 293 00:22:23,440 --> 00:22:25,760 Oh, no... 294 00:22:30,600 --> 00:22:33,640 All right, you two... 295 00:22:36,080 --> 00:22:39,560 Tea, anyone? 296 00:22:48,960 --> 00:22:51,280 Well... 297 00:22:52,880 --> 00:22:55,520 I think I've run out of cigarettes. 298 00:22:55,520 --> 00:23:01,200 Just forget about the bloody cigarettes. This is important. 299 00:23:01,200 --> 00:23:05,320 Oh, I know you don't approve, but I just need one. 300 00:23:05,320 --> 00:23:09,080 Here they are... I think we should talk, don't you? 301 00:23:09,080 --> 00:23:13,360 All right. I'm ready. 302 00:23:13,360 --> 00:23:15,680 I don't know how to begin - 303 00:23:15,680 --> 00:23:19,960 except with those old things. What old things? 304 00:23:19,960 --> 00:23:24,920 "To think that this should happen in my house" and "I trusted you..." 305 00:23:24,920 --> 00:23:26,360 Not very original. 306 00:23:26,360 --> 00:23:32,480 How about, "You're old enough to know better"? I like that one. 307 00:23:35,200 --> 00:23:37,680 So, what's the story? 308 00:23:37,680 --> 00:23:41,480 Your father and I were married for 41 years 309 00:23:41,480 --> 00:23:44,480 and you know how much I loved him. 310 00:23:44,480 --> 00:23:52,080 And yet...all that time, I never felt really SATISFIED. 311 00:23:54,400 --> 00:23:58,240 Are you saying...?No, not that. 312 00:23:58,240 --> 00:24:03,520 Oh, I know you think that orgasms came along in the '60s 313 00:24:03,520 --> 00:24:08,040 with plastic hip joints and President Nixon, 314 00:24:08,040 --> 00:24:12,120 but we had our moments. 315 00:24:12,120 --> 00:24:17,440 No, it's just that I was always so busy cooking and cleaning, 316 00:24:17,440 --> 00:24:23,360 it was a long time before I realised 317 00:24:17,440 --> 00:24:23,360 that something was missing. 318 00:24:24,360 --> 00:24:28,960 ..I see. Then I met Charlie Wells. 319 00:24:28,960 --> 00:24:34,440 But we were both married - and it wasn't done, so we decided to wait. 320 00:24:34,440 --> 00:24:39,640 And all those years I've been wondering what it would be like... 321 00:24:39,640 --> 00:24:43,400 And today you thought you'd find out.Yes. 322 00:24:43,400 --> 00:24:47,920 The strange thing is... That wasn't what was missing. 323 00:24:47,920 --> 00:24:50,760 How did you know? I don't know. 324 00:24:50,760 --> 00:24:54,120 Why didn't you tell me this before? 325 00:24:54,120 --> 00:24:58,920 I'm your mother! That's not who you are, that's what you do. 326 00:24:58,920 --> 00:25:01,760 Eh? Oh, nothing. 327 00:25:01,760 --> 00:25:07,160 So you waited all this time and found it wasn't worth it. 328 00:25:07,160 --> 00:25:11,080 I don't know whether to laugh or cry. 329 00:25:11,080 --> 00:25:14,120 Hi, Gran. 330 00:25:20,880 --> 00:25:23,960 What DO you look like, Jen? 331 00:25:27,080 --> 00:25:29,960 I'm going upstairs! 332 00:25:29,960 --> 00:25:34,520 TOGETHER: 333 00:25:29,960 --> 00:25:34,520 Don't slam the door! 334 00:25:34,520 --> 00:25:38,120 SCREAMS FROM TV 335 00:25:34,520 --> 00:25:38,120 Mum! 336 00:25:40,080 --> 00:25:45,840 David, I told you not to watch that. It's sick.It's only robots. 337 00:25:45,840 --> 00:25:49,680 I'm going to swap it for a Walt Disney. 338 00:25:49,680 --> 00:25:53,240 Then we'll all be sick! 339 00:25:53,240 --> 00:25:57,840 Is it safe? Yes. Didn't you hear the all-clear? 340 00:25:57,840 --> 00:26:02,520 - Dad, she's taken my tape. - It's 90 minutes of violence. 341 00:26:02,520 --> 00:26:05,160 Good. Have you eaten? 342 00:26:05,160 --> 00:26:10,760 Yeah, I got a burger. Gerry called. 343 00:26:05,160 --> 00:26:10,760 He thought you were home. 344 00:26:10,760 --> 00:26:16,480 I had stuff to do in the lockup. What stuff? Oh, pipes and things... 345 00:26:16,480 --> 00:26:18,800 Ben? Yes? 346 00:26:18,800 --> 00:26:24,240 I'm thinking of taking my driving test. Oh... Yes? 347 00:26:24,240 --> 00:26:27,160 For when you fix the car. Car? 348 00:26:27,160 --> 00:26:30,800 You did say you'd been to the lockup. 349 00:26:30,800 --> 00:26:34,000 Oh yeah, the car, yeah. Right. 350 00:26:37,320 --> 00:26:41,200 You all right? What is it? 351 00:26:41,200 --> 00:26:44,040 Oh, it's nothing... 352 00:26:44,040 --> 00:26:49,200 It's just... every time she goes, I think it might be the last time. 353 00:26:49,200 --> 00:26:54,080 Oh, no. Not her. She'll be back. 354 00:26:54,080 --> 00:26:57,320 There's also THAT. 355 00:27:02,640 --> 00:27:07,120 All right, you two. Bedtime. Oh, Mum. 356 00:27:07,120 --> 00:27:08,840 Bed. Or else.What? 357 00:27:08,840 --> 00:27:13,960 I was hoping to spare you this, but you leave me no choice. 358 00:27:17,240 --> 00:27:20,600 MUSIC 359 00:27:17,240 --> 00:27:20,600 You're on! 360 00:27:20,600 --> 00:27:24,160 AMERICAN ACCENT: 361 00:27:20,600 --> 00:27:24,160 Hey, welcome to 142. 362 00:27:24,160 --> 00:27:26,680 It's good to have you here. 363 00:27:26,680 --> 00:27:31,840 # It's not unusual 364 00:27:26,680 --> 00:27:31,840 To be loved by anyone 365 00:27:31,840 --> 00:27:37,240 # It's not unusual...'Night! To have fun with anyone 366 00:27:37,240 --> 00:27:42,280 # But when I see you 367 00:27:37,240 --> 00:27:42,280 hanging about with anyone 368 00:27:42,280 --> 00:27:46,920 # It's not unusual To see me cry... 369 00:27:46,920 --> 00:27:50,600 That is so embarrassing! 370 00:27:46,920 --> 00:27:50,600 # ..I wanna die. 371 00:27:50,600 --> 00:27:55,600 # It's not unusual 372 00:27:50,600 --> 00:27:55,600 To go to bed at any time 373 00:27:55,600 --> 00:28:01,120 # But when I see you hanging out and about, it's such a crime 374 00:28:01,120 --> 00:28:05,760 # If you should ever wanna be loved by anyone 375 00:28:05,760 --> 00:28:10,480 # It's not unusual... 376 00:28:05,760 --> 00:28:10,480 Hey, it happens every day 377 00:28:10,480 --> 00:28:13,560 # No matter what they say 378 00:28:13,560 --> 00:28:18,280 # You'll find it happens 379 00:28:13,560 --> 00:28:18,280 all the ti-i-i-ime 380 00:28:18,280 --> 00:28:23,320 # Love will never do What you want it to 381 00:28:23,320 --> 00:28:30,280 # Why can't this crazy love 382 00:28:23,320 --> 00:28:30,280 be mi-i-i-i-i-i-i-ine? 383 00:28:41,320 --> 00:28:45,560 # It's not unusual 384 00:28:41,320 --> 00:28:45,560 To be mad with anyone 385 00:28:45,560 --> 00:28:51,200 # It's not unusual 386 00:28:45,560 --> 00:28:51,200 To be sad with anyone 387 00:28:51,200 --> 00:28:56,400 # If you should ever wanna be loved 388 00:28:51,200 --> 00:28:56,400 By anyone 389 00:28:56,400 --> 00:29:01,600 # It's not unusual 390 00:28:56,400 --> 00:29:01,600 To find that I'm in love with you 391 00:29:01,600 --> 00:29:05,440 # Woah-oh-oh-oh...# 392 00:29:05,440 --> 00:29:11,600 OK, thanks for coming. See you again, same time, same place... 29893

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