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1
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www.titlovi.com
2
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- Yes?
- Andrew Wyke?
3
00:02:01,699 --> 00:02:03,667
That's right.
4
00:02:04,502 --> 00:02:06,129
I'm Milo Tindle.
5
00:02:06,304 --> 00:02:09,102
Oh, yes, good.
6
00:02:13,277 --> 00:02:15,336
Glad to meet you.
7
00:02:17,081 --> 00:02:19,242
You got the train to Charlebury,
did you?
8
00:02:19,417 --> 00:02:21,749
- I drove.
- Oh, you drove?
9
00:02:21,919 --> 00:02:23,079
That's my car.
10
00:02:23,254 --> 00:02:25,154
Oh, the little one?
11
00:02:25,323 --> 00:02:28,087
- Not the big one.
- No, the big one's mine.
12
00:02:28,259 --> 00:02:30,193
What do you think of it?
13
00:02:34,165 --> 00:02:35,598
- Very handsome.
- Yeah.
14
00:02:35,766 --> 00:02:37,927
It is, isn't it?
15
00:02:40,671 --> 00:02:42,366
Come in.
16
00:02:47,311 --> 00:02:50,940
I was watching a video
of one of my books on television.
17
00:02:56,320 --> 00:02:58,185
Like the house?
18
00:02:58,356 --> 00:02:59,846
Extraordinary.
19
00:03:00,024 --> 00:03:03,790
You know who designed it,
who the interior decorator was?
20
00:03:03,961 --> 00:03:06,327
Yes, your wife.
21
00:03:06,497 --> 00:03:07,964
You knew?
22
00:03:08,132 --> 00:03:09,827
Yes, I knew.
23
00:03:10,001 --> 00:03:12,026
I'll show you around later.
24
00:03:12,203 --> 00:03:13,864
Have a drink. I'm drinking vodka.
25
00:03:14,038 --> 00:03:16,700
- Scotch, please.
- Scotch.
26
00:03:16,874 --> 00:03:20,366
Milo, what an interesting name.
You're a foreigner, I take it?
27
00:03:20,544 --> 00:03:23,035
My father's Italian.
28
00:03:23,214 --> 00:03:25,444
Milo sounds Hungarian.
29
00:03:25,616 --> 00:03:27,277
Does it?
30
00:03:27,852 --> 00:03:29,843
Here's your Scotch.
31
00:03:32,990 --> 00:03:34,116
Cheers.
32
00:03:34,292 --> 00:03:36,089
Cheers.
33
00:03:37,795 --> 00:03:40,889
You sure your father
isn't Hungarian?
34
00:03:41,065 --> 00:03:43,932
Well, if he is,
he's kept it a dead secret for years.
35
00:03:44,101 --> 00:03:46,729
- And your mother?
- English.
36
00:03:46,904 --> 00:03:49,395
So you're a kind of half-breed?
37
00:03:50,675 --> 00:03:52,472
Sit down.
38
00:03:59,950 --> 00:04:02,646
- Thanks for agreeing to see me.
- Not at all.
39
00:04:02,820 --> 00:04:04,913
I didn't know you wrote plays
for television.
40
00:04:05,089 --> 00:04:07,557
I don't. I write crime novels.
You must know that.
41
00:04:07,725 --> 00:04:08,749
I had heard.
42
00:04:08,926 --> 00:04:12,418
But sometimes they're adapted
for television by other people.
43
00:04:12,596 --> 00:04:14,860
You know what the word
adapted means, I take it?
44
00:04:15,032 --> 00:04:16,863
Adapted?
45
00:04:17,034 --> 00:04:19,093
They may not have such a word
in Italian.
46
00:04:19,270 --> 00:04:22,137
- I speak English.
- Good.
47
00:04:22,306 --> 00:04:25,764
Come and have a look
at my special book room.
48
00:04:34,985 --> 00:04:36,748
These are all my novels.
49
00:04:36,921 --> 00:04:38,946
You've read them, I suppose?
50
00:04:39,123 --> 00:04:40,988
Afraid not.
51
00:04:41,158 --> 00:04:43,126
Good God, no?
What about this one?
52
00:04:43,294 --> 00:04:45,592
- Rat in a Trap?
- No.
53
00:04:45,763 --> 00:04:47,390
- The Obelisk?
- No.
54
00:04:47,565 --> 00:04:48,589
- Blackout?
- No.
55
00:04:48,766 --> 00:04:51,257
- Dead Fish?
- Afraid not.
56
00:04:51,435 --> 00:04:53,300
God, you're one in a million.
57
00:04:53,471 --> 00:04:57,464
- Am I?
- Oh, absolu... I'm very popular.
58
00:04:57,641 --> 00:04:59,666
You see this shelf?
59
00:05:00,311 --> 00:05:01,801
Translations.
60
00:05:01,979 --> 00:05:05,415
French, Dutch, German.
61
00:05:05,583 --> 00:05:07,380
You speak Dutch yourself, do you?
62
00:05:07,551 --> 00:05:10,714
Yes, how did you know?
I have a Dutch uncle.
63
00:05:10,888 --> 00:05:12,822
Can't see any Italian translations.
64
00:05:12,990 --> 00:05:17,188
No, they're a funny lot, the Italians.
Culture isn't really their thing.
65
00:05:17,361 --> 00:05:18,726
Their salami's good, though.
66
00:05:18,896 --> 00:05:21,626
- Oh, is it?
- Italian salami? Best in the world.
67
00:05:21,799 --> 00:05:23,630
Did you bring any with you?
68
00:05:23,801 --> 00:05:25,928
- No, I left it at home.
- Oh, shame.
69
00:05:26,103 --> 00:05:27,866
We're gonna have it
for supper tonight.
70
00:05:28,038 --> 00:05:29,903
With a couple of bottles
of Valpolicella.
71
00:05:30,074 --> 00:05:33,043
- We?
- Maggie and me.
72
00:05:34,278 --> 00:05:37,179
Your glass is empty.
What were you drinking, vodka?
73
00:05:37,348 --> 00:05:39,873
- Scotch.
- Scotch.
74
00:05:51,662 --> 00:05:53,823
I want to come to the point.
75
00:05:54,031 --> 00:05:55,328
Point? What point?
76
00:05:55,499 --> 00:05:57,399
Are you gonna give Maggie
a divorce?
77
00:05:57,568 --> 00:05:58,899
And if not, why not?
78
00:05:59,069 --> 00:06:01,503
Yeah, yes, yes, we'll come to that.
79
00:06:01,672 --> 00:06:03,663
She thinks
you're being unreasonable.
80
00:06:03,841 --> 00:06:05,433
So do I.
81
00:06:05,609 --> 00:06:08,806
She's never coming back to you,
so why not just give her the divorce?
82
00:06:08,979 --> 00:06:12,380
It'll do her good to wait for five years.
Good for her character.
83
00:06:12,550 --> 00:06:15,075
You're going to make her wait
five years?
84
00:06:15,252 --> 00:06:18,744
- That's the law. The law of the land.
- But that's pure spite.
85
00:06:18,923 --> 00:06:23,189
Anyway, we'll get back to that,
perhaps. Have your drink first.
86
00:06:26,697 --> 00:06:28,858
What do you do, by the way?
87
00:06:29,033 --> 00:06:30,591
I'm an actor.
88
00:06:30,768 --> 00:06:33,168
Good God. Are you really?
89
00:06:33,337 --> 00:06:36,101
I thought Maggie said
you were a hairdresser.
90
00:06:36,273 --> 00:06:38,400
She must have been talking
about someone else.
91
00:06:38,576 --> 00:06:40,066
You mean another friend?
92
00:06:40,244 --> 00:06:41,711
Another friend?
93
00:06:41,879 --> 00:06:43,642
She tends to have
more than one friend.
94
00:06:43,814 --> 00:06:45,076
- Does she?
- Oh, yes.
95
00:06:45,249 --> 00:06:46,648
I'm her only friend.
96
00:06:46,817 --> 00:06:48,341
She must be lonely.
97
00:06:48,519 --> 00:06:50,146
She's not.
98
00:06:50,321 --> 00:06:54,018
Acting is a pretty precarious
profession, isn't it?
99
00:06:54,191 --> 00:06:56,489
What are you acting in
at the moment?
100
00:06:56,660 --> 00:06:58,525
I'm out of work.
101
00:06:58,696 --> 00:06:59,720
Poor chap.
102
00:06:59,897 --> 00:07:02,627
I drive cars now and again,
chauffeuring.
103
00:07:02,800 --> 00:07:05,234
- Oh, tough life.
- I keep my head above water.
104
00:07:06,704 --> 00:07:08,968
What sort of parts do you play?
105
00:07:10,274 --> 00:07:12,299
Killers, mostly.
106
00:07:12,476 --> 00:07:15,536
Sex maniacs, perverts.
107
00:07:15,713 --> 00:07:17,305
But you're so charming.
108
00:07:17,481 --> 00:07:20,109
Yes, I know.
Anyway, what about this divorce?
109
00:07:20,284 --> 00:07:22,514
What's your position, exactly?
110
00:07:22,686 --> 00:07:25,154
All in good time.
111
00:07:34,031 --> 00:07:35,658
Come in.
112
00:07:42,740 --> 00:07:45,709
Have a seat.
Make yourself comfortable.
113
00:07:52,182 --> 00:07:54,207
I understand you're fucking my wife.
114
00:07:54,385 --> 00:07:56,512
- That's right.
- Right.
115
00:07:56,687 --> 00:07:58,348
Yes, right.
116
00:07:58,522 --> 00:08:00,649
- So we've cleared that up.
- We have.
117
00:08:00,824 --> 00:08:03,019
- I thought you might deny it.
- Why would I deny it?
118
00:08:03,193 --> 00:08:06,060
- Well, she is my wife.
- Yes, but she's fucking me.
119
00:08:06,230 --> 00:08:08,926
Oh, she's fucking you too?
Well, I'll be buggered.
120
00:08:09,767 --> 00:08:11,496
- Sorry.
- Yes, it's mutual.
121
00:08:11,669 --> 00:08:13,364
- You take turns?
- We fuck each other.
122
00:08:13,537 --> 00:08:17,405
- That's what people do.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah. I follow.
123
00:08:20,344 --> 00:08:22,904
- We're in love.
- You're in love?
124
00:08:23,314 --> 00:08:24,576
That's right.
125
00:08:28,752 --> 00:08:30,344
Let me top you up.
126
00:08:39,263 --> 00:08:42,027
I heard a rumor
that you wanted to marry her.
127
00:08:42,199 --> 00:08:44,167
- That can't be true, can it?
- Why not?
128
00:08:44,335 --> 00:08:47,236
In this day and age,
is marriage absolutely necessary?
129
00:08:47,404 --> 00:08:48,462
Isn't it a bit old hat?
130
00:08:48,639 --> 00:08:50,504
- Is it?
- It's a mug's game.
131
00:08:50,674 --> 00:08:53,302
I wouldn't go near it if I were you.
You can't marry her.
132
00:08:53,477 --> 00:08:55,672
You can't marry her
because she's married to me.
133
00:08:55,846 --> 00:08:57,541
Unless I divorce her, of course.
134
00:08:57,715 --> 00:08:59,740
- And are you?
- Am I what?
135
00:08:59,917 --> 00:09:01,009
Going to divorce her?
136
00:09:01,185 --> 00:09:03,278
Are you really gonna
make her wait five years?
137
00:09:03,454 --> 00:09:06,355
- She wants to know.
- To be honest, I can't wait.
138
00:09:06,991 --> 00:09:09,721
But there are one or two things
I'd like to clear up first.
139
00:09:09,893 --> 00:09:14,557
For example, I've never heard
of an Italian called Tindle.
140
00:09:14,732 --> 00:09:16,199
My father's name is Tindolini.
141
00:09:16,367 --> 00:09:19,700
Now, that's lovely.
That's like a little bell.
142
00:09:19,870 --> 00:09:22,896
Why don't you go back to Tindolini?
It suits you.
143
00:09:23,073 --> 00:09:24,540
- You think so?
- Yes.
144
00:09:24,708 --> 00:09:29,338
So if and when you marry Maggie,
she'll be Maggie Tindolini.
145
00:09:29,513 --> 00:09:31,981
Do you get a kick out of that?
146
00:09:32,616 --> 00:09:34,914
What name do you act under?
Tindle or Tindolini?
147
00:09:35,085 --> 00:09:37,076
- Tindle.
- Why have I never heard of you?
148
00:09:37,254 --> 00:09:38,585
You will before long.
149
00:09:38,756 --> 00:09:40,621
- Really?
- In spades.
150
00:09:40,791 --> 00:09:42,452
- That sounds threatening.
- Does it?
151
00:09:42,626 --> 00:09:44,093
Doesn't it?
152
00:09:46,530 --> 00:09:49,727
Why don't we get down
to brass tacks?
153
00:09:49,900 --> 00:09:52,835
Brass tacks, yes. Why not?
154
00:09:54,138 --> 00:09:56,402
This is the way I see it.
155
00:09:58,008 --> 00:09:59,168
Come upstairs.
156
00:09:59,777 --> 00:10:02,177
I want to show you something.
157
00:10:06,617 --> 00:10:09,245
Are you all right in elevators?
158
00:10:12,222 --> 00:10:15,385
It won't make you sick
or anything, will it?
159
00:10:28,038 --> 00:10:30,438
This is our bedroom.
160
00:10:34,445 --> 00:10:40,714
And this is my wife's dressing room.
161
00:10:41,985 --> 00:10:45,216
She left a few dresses.
Couldn't be bothered to pick them up.
162
00:10:45,389 --> 00:10:48,722
They're worth thousands.
Thousands.
163
00:10:48,892 --> 00:10:52,555
This leather coat alone
is worth 5000 quid.
164
00:10:52,730 --> 00:10:56,325
So you see, the thing is this.
Sit down.
165
00:10:59,636 --> 00:11:02,104
The thing is this,
my wife spends money like water.
166
00:11:02,272 --> 00:11:06,641
So if you're not careful,
she'll eat you out of house and home.
167
00:11:06,810 --> 00:11:10,075
She was born to luxury, you know.
Jamaica, the Ritz, the Swiss Alps.
168
00:11:10,748 --> 00:11:14,047
What are you?
Out-of-work actor, part-time chauffeur.
169
00:11:14,218 --> 00:11:17,244
You're out of your depth, old boy.
You're on a hiding to nothing.
170
00:11:17,421 --> 00:11:19,082
If you think you're broke now...
171
00:11:19,256 --> 00:11:22,453
...you'll be 10 times broker
by the time she's finished with you.
172
00:11:22,626 --> 00:11:24,423
She'll have your guts for garters.
173
00:11:25,929 --> 00:11:28,989
- She's in love with me.
- Oh, never trust in love, chum.
174
00:11:29,166 --> 00:11:32,135
Love will kick you up the arse
as soon as look at you.
175
00:11:32,302 --> 00:11:35,829
One minute, it's love,
10 minutes later, it's contempt.
176
00:11:36,006 --> 00:11:37,633
That's your own experience, is it?
177
00:11:37,808 --> 00:11:40,606
Oh, no, no, no, that's observation.
178
00:11:40,778 --> 00:11:43,076
Don't forget, I'm a novelist.
179
00:11:43,247 --> 00:11:45,715
I observe people.
180
00:11:46,350 --> 00:11:49,547
What I'm getting at is you won't
be able to give her what she wants.
181
00:11:49,720 --> 00:11:52,587
So she's gonna leave you,
come back to me.
182
00:11:52,756 --> 00:11:55,316
I don't want her near me.
That's the last thing I want.
183
00:11:55,492 --> 00:11:57,323
I've had her up to here.
184
00:11:57,494 --> 00:12:01,692
Anyway, I've got this lovely mistress.
She runs a sauna in Swindon.
185
00:12:01,865 --> 00:12:02,923
She's my girl.
186
00:12:03,100 --> 00:12:06,069
So you see,
I want Maggie to stay with you.
187
00:12:06,236 --> 00:12:09,103
I want you two
to be together forever.
188
00:12:09,273 --> 00:12:10,672
But unless you listen to me...
189
00:12:10,841 --> 00:12:13,036
...the whole thing
will be a fucking disaster...
190
00:12:13,210 --> 00:12:16,737
...with catastrophic consequences
all round.
191
00:12:17,548 --> 00:12:22,212
But I have a solution.
192
00:12:26,089 --> 00:12:29,217
You won't believe
what I'm gonna say.
193
00:12:31,195 --> 00:12:33,254
What are you gonna say?
194
00:12:33,430 --> 00:12:35,898
I'm all ears.
195
00:12:36,066 --> 00:12:37,590
You know something?
196
00:12:37,768 --> 00:12:39,668
I'm beginning to respond
to your charm.
197
00:12:39,837 --> 00:12:41,327
- Get away.
- No, it's true.
198
00:12:41,505 --> 00:12:44,963
- I'm really touched.
- You should be.
199
00:12:45,142 --> 00:12:48,441
Tell me, I bet you didn't expect me
to be so intelligent.
200
00:12:48,612 --> 00:12:50,546
So quick-witted, did you?
201
00:12:50,714 --> 00:12:52,875
Oh, I did.
202
00:12:53,050 --> 00:12:54,915
Quite.
203
00:12:56,320 --> 00:12:58,788
Maggie told you, did she?
204
00:13:02,025 --> 00:13:04,118
What's your solution?
205
00:13:08,232 --> 00:13:10,757
It's a close fit, isn't it?
206
00:13:10,934 --> 00:13:12,765
For two.
207
00:13:20,911 --> 00:13:24,677
Listen, I'm going
to make you a proposition.
208
00:13:25,749 --> 00:13:28,115
A few years ago,
I gave her some jewels.
209
00:13:28,285 --> 00:13:30,617
Amazingly expensive.
210
00:13:30,787 --> 00:13:34,723
I didn't give them to her, I own them.
They're insured in my name.
211
00:13:34,892 --> 00:13:38,259
But I let her use them
on special occasions.
212
00:13:38,428 --> 00:13:41,295
They're worth 1 million pounds.
213
00:13:41,465 --> 00:13:44,662
They spend half the time in the bank,
half the time in the safe.
214
00:13:44,835 --> 00:13:49,704
At the moment, they're here
in the house, in the safe.
215
00:13:49,873 --> 00:13:53,969
And I want you to steal them.
216
00:13:58,181 --> 00:14:00,706
- Steal them?
- That's right.
217
00:14:01,285 --> 00:14:04,482
- What the hell do you mean?
- I want you to steal the jewels.
218
00:14:04,655 --> 00:14:07,089
You want me to steal the jewels?
I don't get it.
219
00:14:07,257 --> 00:14:09,919
It's simple. You steal the jewels,
sell them abroad...
220
00:14:10,093 --> 00:14:12,857
...and you live happily ever after
with Maggie.
221
00:14:13,030 --> 00:14:15,590
I get rid of my wife
and I'll be like a pig in shit.
222
00:14:15,766 --> 00:14:19,099
You can keep Maggie in the manner
to which she's become accustomed.
223
00:14:19,269 --> 00:14:22,568
You want me to take part
in a scummy little plot...
224
00:14:22,739 --> 00:14:25,003
...to defraud your insurance company,
is that it?
225
00:14:25,175 --> 00:14:26,733
I thought it was quite elegant.
226
00:14:26,910 --> 00:14:28,468
What do you think I am?
227
00:14:28,645 --> 00:14:31,205
What the fuck
are you actually talking about?
228
00:14:31,381 --> 00:14:33,815
- These are real facts.
- This is a joke.
229
00:14:33,984 --> 00:14:35,008
- No.
- It's also a trap.
230
00:14:35,185 --> 00:14:36,812
- A trap?
- Yes. You think I'm a fool.
231
00:14:36,987 --> 00:14:38,249
Well, are you?
232
00:14:38,422 --> 00:14:39,753
- It doesn't hold up.
- Why not?
233
00:14:39,923 --> 00:14:43,415
They're worth a million pounds. You'd
get a fraction of that from any fence.
234
00:14:43,593 --> 00:14:46,721
I have already contacted
a friend of mine in Amsterdam.
235
00:14:46,897 --> 00:14:52,494
And he will give you
800,000 pounds tax-free.
236
00:14:52,669 --> 00:14:54,694
Now, think about it.
237
00:14:54,871 --> 00:14:57,465
Eight hundred thousand pounds...
238
00:14:57,641 --> 00:14:59,700
...tax-free.
239
00:15:02,379 --> 00:15:03,607
Why would he do that?
240
00:15:03,780 --> 00:15:06,544
When you steal the jewels,
you will also steal the receipts.
241
00:15:06,717 --> 00:15:10,414
So he'll have title to the jewels
as well as the jewels themselves...
242
00:15:10,587 --> 00:15:13,215
...so that when he sells them,
he gets full value.
243
00:15:16,660 --> 00:15:18,525
Got it?
244
00:15:18,695 --> 00:15:20,492
Think about it.
245
00:15:20,664 --> 00:15:22,791
Take your time.
246
00:15:40,751 --> 00:15:43,618
And why would you do all this?
247
00:15:43,787 --> 00:15:48,520
Listen, under this crooked exterior,
I am a simple, honest man.
248
00:15:48,692 --> 00:15:52,321
Every word I've told you is true,
I swear it.
249
00:15:52,496 --> 00:15:57,991
I want to get rid of my wife,
but I want it to be solid, permanent.
250
00:15:58,168 --> 00:16:01,194
I don't want her on my back.
I want her to stay on your back.
251
00:16:01,371 --> 00:16:02,861
This is a frame-up.
252
00:16:03,040 --> 00:16:05,372
- A frame-up?
- Yes.
253
00:16:05,542 --> 00:16:08,102
You want to destroy me.
254
00:16:08,278 --> 00:16:09,540
You want to see me in jail.
255
00:16:09,713 --> 00:16:13,205
You want me to do this
and then shop me to the police.
256
00:16:13,383 --> 00:16:14,611
No, no, no.
257
00:16:14,785 --> 00:16:19,119
If I shop you, then you'll shop me,
and then we'll both end up in jail.
258
00:16:19,289 --> 00:16:21,757
No, I take a strictly moral position
on all this.
259
00:16:21,925 --> 00:16:23,950
My wife is an adulteress.
260
00:16:24,127 --> 00:16:26,425
Actually,
she should be stoned to death.
261
00:16:26,596 --> 00:16:29,360
Anyway, it's up to you.
Make up your own mind.
262
00:16:29,533 --> 00:16:30,932
You're asking me to trust you?
263
00:16:31,101 --> 00:16:33,069
I don't give a fuck
if you trust me or not.
264
00:16:33,236 --> 00:16:34,828
This is a simple proposition.
265
00:16:35,005 --> 00:16:37,633
You have an expensive woman
and no money.
266
00:16:37,808 --> 00:16:40,868
You wanna keep the woman,
steal the jewels.
267
00:16:41,044 --> 00:16:44,878
Why don't you steal the jewels
and give them to me?
268
00:16:45,048 --> 00:16:46,675
Don't be a bloody fool.
269
00:16:46,850 --> 00:16:50,286
The burglary has to be right.
The house has to be broken into.
270
00:16:50,454 --> 00:16:53,218
- Why don't you break into it?
- For chrissake, I'm in it.
271
00:16:53,390 --> 00:16:56,188
How can I break into it? I live here.
272
00:17:24,187 --> 00:17:25,211
Okay.
273
00:17:25,388 --> 00:17:31,258
If I were to agree to do this,
would you agree to the divorce?
274
00:17:31,428 --> 00:17:33,123
Why should I give her the divorce...
275
00:17:33,296 --> 00:17:35,696
...if you're both walking away
with 800,000 pounds?
276
00:17:35,866 --> 00:17:38,027
She wants a legal settlement.
277
00:17:38,702 --> 00:17:40,693
- She wants part of your estate.
- Greedy.
278
00:17:40,871 --> 00:17:42,600
That's legal justice.
279
00:17:42,772 --> 00:17:45,036
Never trust in legal justice.
280
00:17:45,208 --> 00:17:47,073
You know what legal justice is?
281
00:17:47,244 --> 00:17:51,237
It's farting "Annie Laurie"
through a keyhole.
282
00:17:52,883 --> 00:17:56,944
Listen, 800,000 pounds...
283
00:17:57,120 --> 00:17:58,348
...tax-free.
284
00:17:58,522 --> 00:18:00,513
All yours, in cash.
285
00:18:00,690 --> 00:18:04,490
- Why don't you stop pissing around?
- But wait a minute.
286
00:18:04,661 --> 00:18:07,596
You get a million
from the insurance.
287
00:18:07,764 --> 00:18:09,254
Sure I do.
288
00:18:09,432 --> 00:18:12,162
Well, all right, I'll be frank.
289
00:18:12,335 --> 00:18:16,066
I need it. Cash flow,
stocks, shares going down.
290
00:18:16,239 --> 00:18:19,003
Get me? Quid pro quo.
291
00:18:19,176 --> 00:18:22,976
You do me a favor, I do you a favor,
you keep the woman.
292
00:18:25,415 --> 00:18:27,076
Okay.
293
00:18:28,051 --> 00:18:29,518
Let's make a deal.
294
00:18:29,686 --> 00:18:32,587
- What deal?
- I break in, I steal the jewels.
295
00:18:32,756 --> 00:18:36,749
And you agree to the divorce.
296
00:18:37,427 --> 00:18:41,796
That's the deal. Otherwise, fuck it.
That's another quid pro quo.
297
00:18:41,965 --> 00:18:44,160
But you have to shake on it.
298
00:18:45,902 --> 00:18:47,563
All right.
299
00:18:48,171 --> 00:18:49,798
I'll shake on it.
300
00:18:49,973 --> 00:18:51,838
Here's my hand.
301
00:18:53,343 --> 00:18:55,038
Okay.
302
00:18:57,447 --> 00:19:00,348
Okay. So, what do I do?
303
00:19:00,517 --> 00:19:02,678
You break in.
304
00:19:02,852 --> 00:19:04,479
You see that skylight up there?
305
00:19:04,654 --> 00:19:09,023
Well, that window there is the only one
that the burglar alarm doesn't touch.
306
00:19:09,192 --> 00:19:10,216
You get in there.
307
00:19:10,393 --> 00:19:13,885
- That's pretty high up.
- Well, you climb a ladder.
308
00:19:14,064 --> 00:19:15,998
- I'm not good at heights.
- You can do it.
309
00:19:16,166 --> 00:19:18,157
Honestly, I know you can.
310
00:19:18,335 --> 00:19:21,133
- You're having me on.
- Oh, come on. Behave like a man.
311
00:19:21,304 --> 00:19:22,635
A man of action.
312
00:19:22,806 --> 00:19:25,604
You don't have to be a hairdresser
for the rest of your life.
313
00:19:25,775 --> 00:19:30,178
You can be free, independent,
take care of the woman you love.
314
00:19:30,347 --> 00:19:31,871
Listen...
315
00:19:32,482 --> 00:19:33,881
Put this on.
316
00:19:34,050 --> 00:19:36,610
I use it to communicate
with my gardener.
317
00:19:41,891 --> 00:19:43,722
Lovely. Actually, it suits you.
318
00:19:45,362 --> 00:19:47,853
This is what you do. You go outside.
319
00:19:48,031 --> 00:19:51,091
Across the lawn, there's a shed.
Behind the shed, there's a ladder.
320
00:19:51,268 --> 00:19:54,169
You take the ladder, put it up
against the wall of the house...
321
00:19:54,337 --> 00:19:57,864
...and I direct you
through the earphone.
322
00:19:58,041 --> 00:20:01,374
- Are you with me?
- Well, yes, yes.
323
00:20:01,544 --> 00:20:04,035
- But I'm anxious and frightened.
- Trust me.
324
00:20:04,214 --> 00:20:06,842
- But I don't.
- Well, trust me and all will be well.
325
00:20:07,017 --> 00:20:10,817
Just follow my advice.
It's got to look real.
326
00:20:10,987 --> 00:20:13,080
We have to convince
the insurance people...
327
00:20:13,256 --> 00:20:15,486
...and the police,
if you see what I mean.
328
00:20:15,659 --> 00:20:20,323
Maggie never told me
you were such a manipulator.
329
00:20:20,497 --> 00:20:22,124
She told me
you were no good in bed.
330
00:20:22,299 --> 00:20:24,358
But she never told me
you were a manipulator.
331
00:20:24,534 --> 00:20:27,731
- She told you I was no good in bed?
- Oh, yes.
332
00:20:27,904 --> 00:20:31,567
She was joking.
I'm wonderful in bed.
333
00:20:31,741 --> 00:20:33,766
I must tell her.
334
00:20:45,288 --> 00:20:47,586
- There's the shed across the lawn.
- Shed, yeah.
335
00:20:48,158 --> 00:20:51,855
- There's the ladder behind the shed.
- The ladder?
336
00:20:52,595 --> 00:20:54,358
The ladder.
337
00:20:55,999 --> 00:20:58,399
Inside the shed,
there's a pair of gardening gloves.
338
00:20:58,568 --> 00:21:01,128
Put them on. By the gardening gloves,
there's a hammer.
339
00:21:01,304 --> 00:21:02,931
You go round the back of the house.
340
00:21:03,106 --> 00:21:05,597
Put the ladder up against the wall
by the lower roof.
341
00:21:05,775 --> 00:21:08,972
Then, carry the hammer up the ladder
on to the lower roof.
342
00:21:09,145 --> 00:21:11,511
Then, you pull the ladder up
on to the main roof...
343
00:21:11,681 --> 00:21:14,411
...and break the skylight window
with the hammer.
344
00:21:19,689 --> 00:21:23,386
Wait a minute.
You've forgotten one major item.
345
00:21:23,560 --> 00:21:25,494
What?
346
00:21:25,662 --> 00:21:28,290
Once I'm in,
how do I get down to floor level?
347
00:21:28,465 --> 00:21:30,797
Didn't I tell you? Oh, sorry.
348
00:21:30,967 --> 00:21:32,958
You see that small metal door
up there?
349
00:21:33,136 --> 00:21:34,933
Inside, there's an electric ladder.
350
00:21:35,105 --> 00:21:37,699
You get through the window,
I press a button.
351
00:21:37,874 --> 00:21:39,136
The ladder descends.
352
00:21:39,309 --> 00:21:41,641
- You get on and climb down.
- Let me see it descend.
353
00:21:41,811 --> 00:21:43,802
- What?
- Let me see it come down now.
354
00:21:43,980 --> 00:21:45,504
Sure.
355
00:22:00,997 --> 00:22:04,023
See? Easy as pissing.
356
00:22:08,138 --> 00:22:11,904
- I have a funny feeling that I'm a cunt.
- Of course you're a cunt.
357
00:22:13,009 --> 00:22:16,001
But so what?
You'll end up a wealthy man.
358
00:22:16,179 --> 00:22:18,943
Obey the rules. Just obey the rules.
359
00:22:20,016 --> 00:22:22,712
- Whose rules?
- My rules.
360
00:22:24,954 --> 00:22:27,115
Go and get the other ladder.
361
00:22:56,453 --> 00:22:57,920
Can you see the ladder?
362
00:23:01,891 --> 00:23:03,586
Can I see the ladder?
363
00:23:16,573 --> 00:23:19,371
Place the ladder against the wall.
364
00:23:19,542 --> 00:23:21,601
Okay.
365
00:23:24,214 --> 00:23:25,545
Extend the ladder.
366
00:23:25,715 --> 00:23:26,943
Okay.
367
00:23:31,087 --> 00:23:33,214
- Climb up the ladder.
- Okay!
368
00:23:39,095 --> 00:23:40,619
Climb up the ladder.
369
00:23:41,898 --> 00:23:43,661
Why am I doing this?
370
00:23:57,747 --> 00:24:00,682
Keep calm. Keep calm.
371
00:24:00,850 --> 00:24:03,614
Keep coming. Keep coming.
372
00:24:03,786 --> 00:24:05,583
- Watch your step.
- Jesus.
373
00:24:12,896 --> 00:24:15,023
Keep calm.
374
00:24:56,606 --> 00:24:59,370
- Watch your step.
- I'm gonna die.
375
00:25:00,977 --> 00:25:01,911
Fuck.
376
00:25:03,212 --> 00:25:05,305
Don't stop. Keep going.
377
00:25:06,516 --> 00:25:08,040
Don't look down.
378
00:25:10,153 --> 00:25:11,677
You're at the window.
379
00:25:12,822 --> 00:25:14,517
Smash it.
380
00:25:24,334 --> 00:25:25,926
Fantastic.
381
00:25:28,371 --> 00:25:30,032
- Where's the ladder?
- What ladder?
382
00:25:30,206 --> 00:25:31,901
The ladder. Where's it gone?
383
00:25:32,075 --> 00:25:35,067
It's not working. There was
always a dodgy fuse on this.
384
00:25:35,244 --> 00:25:37,212
I'll phone the electrician
in the morning.
385
00:25:37,380 --> 00:25:39,007
In the morning? What about now?
386
00:25:39,182 --> 00:25:41,616
No, he'll be in bed.
You know these country people.
387
00:25:41,784 --> 00:25:45,948
Early to bed, early to rise.
He's a nice chap. He's called Norman.
388
00:25:46,122 --> 00:25:48,750
Charming wife, Debbie.
Three delightful kids.
389
00:25:48,925 --> 00:25:51,485
Oh, I've just remembered.
He's on vacation.
390
00:25:51,661 --> 00:25:54,255
- He's taken the kids to Bermuda.
- What?
391
00:25:54,430 --> 00:25:57,228
So I'm stuck up here
for the rest of my life?
392
00:25:57,400 --> 00:26:00,563
Have patience.
Stoicism is what's called for.
393
00:26:00,737 --> 00:26:03,137
Works wonders. Oh, wait a minute.
394
00:26:03,706 --> 00:26:06,698
There's an emergency button
on the wall. You see it?
395
00:26:07,810 --> 00:26:09,368
That's it. Just press it...
396
00:26:09,545 --> 00:26:11,843
...and all will be well.
397
00:26:13,816 --> 00:26:15,750
There it is.
398
00:26:22,759 --> 00:26:24,750
Careful. Be careful.
399
00:26:27,196 --> 00:26:28,458
That's it.
400
00:26:30,299 --> 00:26:32,460
- Careful.
- Is this as far as it will go?
401
00:26:32,635 --> 00:26:34,068
Jump.
402
00:26:36,439 --> 00:26:38,805
- Oh, Christ!
- Wonderful.
403
00:26:39,609 --> 00:26:42,669
- Very, very impressed.
- I thought I was gonna die.
404
00:26:42,845 --> 00:26:45,177
- You will.
- So, what the fuck do I do now?
405
00:26:45,348 --> 00:26:47,908
- You open the safe.
- Where is it? How do I open it?
406
00:26:48,084 --> 00:26:50,279
Wait a minute.
You don't know where it is.
407
00:26:50,453 --> 00:26:52,717
You've got to find it,
you've got to look for it.
408
00:26:52,889 --> 00:26:56,120
Where is it?
Start in the bedroom.
409
00:26:56,292 --> 00:26:58,283
- How are you feeling?
- Okay, all right.
410
00:26:58,461 --> 00:27:01,055
- Excited?
- Quite, yes.
411
00:27:01,230 --> 00:27:04,199
You're a cool customer, I like that.
Okay.
412
00:27:04,367 --> 00:27:06,335
Open the wardrobe.
Open the drawers.
413
00:27:06,502 --> 00:27:07,560
Throw things around.
414
00:27:07,737 --> 00:27:10,433
You're looking for the safe.
It's up here somewhere.
415
00:27:10,606 --> 00:27:13,803
Play it for real.
Kick the place to death.
416
00:27:13,976 --> 00:27:15,466
You're a desperate man.
417
00:27:16,212 --> 00:27:18,908
Safes are always kept
behind paintings, aren't they?
418
00:27:19,082 --> 00:27:20,379
What are you doing?
419
00:27:20,550 --> 00:27:23,041
I'm a desperate man, aren't I?
That's what you said.
420
00:27:23,219 --> 00:27:25,210
The man is a barbarian.
421
00:27:25,388 --> 00:27:29,381
- Where's the fucking safe?
- Well, open the chest of drawers.
422
00:27:30,827 --> 00:27:32,351
- It's locked.
- Kick it to death.
423
00:27:37,800 --> 00:27:40,166
And this is where I hear you.
424
00:27:40,336 --> 00:27:41,667
You hear me?
425
00:27:41,838 --> 00:27:46,332
Yes, I'm asleep in the study.
That's where I sleep these days.
426
00:27:46,509 --> 00:27:49,535
I can't sleep in the bed
without my wife, you see.
427
00:27:50,947 --> 00:27:53,745
I hear you, I come into the bedroom.
428
00:27:53,916 --> 00:27:55,850
And I find you.
429
00:27:56,018 --> 00:27:57,076
And then?
430
00:27:57,253 --> 00:27:59,221
- I attack you.
- How?
431
00:27:59,388 --> 00:28:02,380
Like this. And this.
432
00:28:06,529 --> 00:28:09,794
- That hurt.
- So sorry.
433
00:28:12,502 --> 00:28:14,902
Then, you get out your knife.
434
00:28:15,538 --> 00:28:17,506
I don't have a knife.
435
00:28:20,109 --> 00:28:21,542
I do.
436
00:28:21,711 --> 00:28:24,202
- You threaten me with it.
- You're threatening me.
437
00:28:24,380 --> 00:28:26,245
No, I'm playing you.
This is what you do.
438
00:28:26,415 --> 00:28:28,440
You want to know
where the safe is...
439
00:28:28,618 --> 00:28:32,076
...what the combination is,
so you terrorize me with this knife.
440
00:28:32,255 --> 00:28:34,120
- Take it easy.
- You can see I'm ruthless.
441
00:28:34,290 --> 00:28:36,190
I'm unpredictable.
I'm probably a killer.
442
00:28:36,359 --> 00:28:40,489
And I'm certainly
very, very dangerous.
443
00:28:40,663 --> 00:28:43,530
But you? You're obstinate.
444
00:28:43,699 --> 00:28:46,896
- Me or you?
- I'm you, you're me, you get it?
445
00:28:47,370 --> 00:28:51,636
Now, the jewels
are worth a lot of money.
446
00:28:51,808 --> 00:28:53,105
You won't give in...
447
00:28:53,276 --> 00:28:58,612
...but I get out my gun.
448
00:29:00,783 --> 00:29:02,216
I'm still you, by the way.
449
00:29:03,586 --> 00:29:07,488
But then, to make it clear
that I mean business...
450
00:29:09,959 --> 00:29:11,119
Bull's-eye.
451
00:29:12,295 --> 00:29:14,058
Bull's-eye.
452
00:29:15,131 --> 00:29:17,998
Finally, you give in.
You're so terrified...
453
00:29:18,167 --> 00:29:23,127
...you show me where the safe is.
It is behind that.
454
00:29:23,306 --> 00:29:24,330
Magic.
455
00:29:24,507 --> 00:29:27,635
And you're so frightened,
you give me the combination.
456
00:29:27,810 --> 00:29:31,837
19-11-94. Open it.
457
00:29:32,014 --> 00:29:33,777
Wait a minute. Am I me now?
458
00:29:33,950 --> 00:29:36,384
- Or are you me?
- No, you're now you.
459
00:29:36,552 --> 00:29:37,746
- You're now you.
- Me?
460
00:29:37,920 --> 00:29:40,354
- No, no.
- Or are you still me?
461
00:29:40,523 --> 00:29:44,425
You're now you. And I'm now me.
462
00:29:45,628 --> 00:29:47,095
Open the safe.
463
00:29:47,263 --> 00:29:49,458
19-11-94.
464
00:29:51,167 --> 00:29:52,498
It was our wedding day.
465
00:29:53,970 --> 00:29:58,998
The 19th of November, 1994.
466
00:30:09,719 --> 00:30:11,550
Jesus.
467
00:30:17,627 --> 00:30:19,458
What do you think?
468
00:30:21,030 --> 00:30:25,023
They're quite beautiful.
469
00:30:25,201 --> 00:30:27,362
Put them in your pocket.
470
00:30:29,105 --> 00:30:31,801
Eight hundred
thousand pounds, eh?
471
00:30:32,909 --> 00:30:34,877
That's what I said.
472
00:30:40,316 --> 00:30:41,874
Okay.
473
00:30:45,154 --> 00:30:47,918
So far, so good.
474
00:30:48,090 --> 00:30:50,752
Hey, you'd better give me
the address of that fence.
475
00:30:50,927 --> 00:30:53,054
- What fence?
- The fence in Amsterdam.
476
00:30:53,229 --> 00:30:54,560
Oh, that fence.
477
00:30:55,031 --> 00:30:57,864
Listen, you put that gun down.
478
00:30:58,034 --> 00:30:59,433
Why?
479
00:31:01,003 --> 00:31:04,370
It's pointing directly at me.
I'm not very happy about it.
480
00:31:04,540 --> 00:31:06,132
Why not?
481
00:31:07,376 --> 00:31:10,539
- Look, is this a game?
- This is the real game.
482
00:31:13,316 --> 00:31:16,752
The real game has just begun.
483
00:31:17,687 --> 00:31:19,655
What's the real game?
484
00:31:19,822 --> 00:31:21,915
You and me.
485
00:31:22,458 --> 00:31:25,791
You, defenseless. Me, with a gun.
486
00:31:27,630 --> 00:31:29,723
It's the end of the jewelry story,
you see.
487
00:31:31,567 --> 00:31:33,091
- Oh, is it?
- Yeah.
488
00:31:33,269 --> 00:31:35,430
I enjoyed it, though.
489
00:31:35,871 --> 00:31:36,895
I'm not enjoying this.
490
00:31:37,073 --> 00:31:38,472
I don't blame you.
491
00:31:40,810 --> 00:31:42,243
What's it all about?
492
00:31:42,411 --> 00:31:46,541
Oh, come on. Buck your ideas up.
493
00:31:46,949 --> 00:31:50,908
You really didn't think I was gonna
let you have my wife and the jewels?
494
00:31:53,422 --> 00:31:55,356
You're joking.
495
00:31:56,926 --> 00:31:58,826
You've been leading me
up the garden.
496
00:31:58,995 --> 00:32:00,428
Right up.
497
00:32:01,764 --> 00:32:03,732
Stand on the bed.
498
00:32:16,078 --> 00:32:17,807
Listen. Wait a minute.
499
00:32:17,980 --> 00:32:21,916
Before you do anything,
there's something I must tell you.
500
00:32:23,419 --> 00:32:25,979
- What?
- Maggie respects you.
501
00:32:26,155 --> 00:32:27,520
- Really?
- Yes.
502
00:32:27,690 --> 00:32:29,885
She often says
you're a man of true integrity...
503
00:32:30,059 --> 00:32:32,118
...that you're a really decent guy.
504
00:32:32,294 --> 00:32:34,990
She's right. I'm a really decent guy.
505
00:32:35,164 --> 00:32:36,756
- I believe it.
- She's quite right.
506
00:32:36,932 --> 00:32:38,957
I'm a really decent guy.
507
00:32:39,135 --> 00:32:40,602
I know you are. I know you are.
508
00:32:40,770 --> 00:32:42,795
And that's what she often says.
509
00:32:42,972 --> 00:32:44,837
You're... She admires your mind.
510
00:32:45,007 --> 00:32:47,168
- She admires my mind?
- Yes.
511
00:32:47,343 --> 00:32:49,538
- Your mind excites her.
- Sexually?
512
00:32:49,712 --> 00:32:52,010
Very. Your mind
excites your wife sexually.
513
00:32:52,181 --> 00:32:54,274
- What about my body?
- What about it?
514
00:32:54,450 --> 00:32:57,283
Well, what does she say
about my body?
515
00:32:59,288 --> 00:33:02,189
Do you know,
I don't think she's ever mentioned it.
516
00:33:02,358 --> 00:33:04,292
You're a prick.
517
00:33:07,296 --> 00:33:09,890
- Where does my prick come into it?
- I can guess where it comes in.
518
00:33:10,066 --> 00:33:12,728
But I wasn't talking
about your prick.
519
00:33:12,968 --> 00:33:16,369
- I was calling you a prick.
- Oh, thanks.
520
00:33:16,539 --> 00:33:18,370
But you know
what you are now, though?
521
00:33:18,541 --> 00:33:19,701
What?
522
00:33:19,875 --> 00:33:22,309
- You're a dead duck.
- Really?
523
00:33:22,745 --> 00:33:25,976
This is the way
the story goes to the police.
524
00:33:26,148 --> 00:33:29,083
I find you in my house,
you threaten me.
525
00:33:29,251 --> 00:33:31,014
You open the safe,
you take the jewels.
526
00:33:31,187 --> 00:33:32,586
You put them in your pocket.
527
00:33:32,755 --> 00:33:35,986
I manage to grab the gun
while you're looking at the jewels.
528
00:33:36,158 --> 00:33:38,524
There's a struggle.
The gun goes off.
529
00:33:39,028 --> 00:33:41,155
Suddenly, I realize you're dead.
530
00:33:41,330 --> 00:33:43,230
You're gonna shoot me.
531
00:33:43,399 --> 00:33:45,162
- What do you think?
- Why?
532
00:33:45,334 --> 00:33:48,929
I planned all this from the word go.
533
00:33:49,105 --> 00:33:55,010
I've always longed for
an intimate chat with a hairdresser.
534
00:33:55,177 --> 00:33:59,705
Especially a hairdresser
who is fucking my wife.
535
00:33:59,882 --> 00:34:01,281
I'm not a hairdresser!
536
00:34:01,450 --> 00:34:05,284
My wife is mine! She belongs to me!
537
00:34:05,454 --> 00:34:08,855
And I'm her husband!
538
00:34:09,859 --> 00:34:13,192
And what you've done is this.
539
00:34:14,697 --> 00:34:19,600
You've invited yourself
to attend your own death.
540
00:34:20,769 --> 00:34:22,464
Please.
541
00:34:22,638 --> 00:34:24,401
No, don't do it.
Please don't shoot me.
542
00:34:24,573 --> 00:34:29,101
Please don't shoot me, please!
I'll just get in my car and go, okay?
543
00:34:29,278 --> 00:34:31,303
That's all.
You'll never see me again.
544
00:34:31,780 --> 00:34:32,872
You're crazy.
545
00:34:33,048 --> 00:34:35,448
No, you're not crazy.
You just got things wrong.
546
00:34:35,618 --> 00:34:37,643
I don't want your wife. I hate women.
547
00:34:37,820 --> 00:34:39,811
You hear me?
I hate women. I hate your wife!
548
00:34:39,989 --> 00:34:42,719
You've absolutely
no reason to be jealous.
549
00:34:43,492 --> 00:34:46,950
Women are not my scene.
I'd rather do it with a dog or a goat.
550
00:34:47,129 --> 00:34:50,394
Or a boy I knew at school.
His name was Dooley.
551
00:34:50,566 --> 00:34:52,966
I called him Dolores.
I hate women!
552
00:34:53,502 --> 00:34:56,471
Honest. God's honor.
553
00:34:56,639 --> 00:34:58,163
Do you believe in God?
554
00:37:38,300 --> 00:37:39,733
Just shut up.
555
00:37:42,538 --> 00:37:45,439
I'm asking the questions, not you.
556
00:37:46,208 --> 00:37:49,609
- How long have you known him?
- I don't know him. I've never met him.
557
00:37:53,382 --> 00:37:55,714
What are you? A joker?
558
00:38:41,864 --> 00:38:43,354
Yes?
559
00:38:45,200 --> 00:38:46,997
Andrew Wyke?
560
00:38:47,169 --> 00:38:48,727
Yes.
561
00:38:48,904 --> 00:38:51,168
Detective Inspector Black.
562
00:38:51,340 --> 00:38:54,104
New Scotland Yard. Eddie Black.
563
00:38:55,878 --> 00:38:57,812
I'd like a word with you.
564
00:38:58,347 --> 00:38:59,780
A word?
565
00:38:59,948 --> 00:39:01,575
That's right.
566
00:39:02,351 --> 00:39:04,046
What about?
567
00:39:06,855 --> 00:39:08,550
Can I come in?
568
00:39:09,992 --> 00:39:12,290
Yes. Yes, of course.
569
00:39:14,263 --> 00:39:15,287
Like a drink?
570
00:39:15,464 --> 00:39:17,455
Got any beer?
571
00:39:18,000 --> 00:39:20,491
Beer? Yes.
572
00:39:20,669 --> 00:39:22,034
You're the writer.
573
00:39:22,938 --> 00:39:25,133
You write crime books.
574
00:39:25,307 --> 00:39:27,366
That's right.
575
00:39:27,543 --> 00:39:29,773
I've read a couple.
576
00:39:30,245 --> 00:39:32,213
Right on the button.
577
00:39:32,381 --> 00:39:34,713
Oh, that's a great compliment.
578
00:39:36,185 --> 00:39:38,847
How do you know so much about it?
579
00:39:39,021 --> 00:39:40,283
What?
580
00:39:40,456 --> 00:39:42,014
Villainy.
581
00:39:42,191 --> 00:39:44,489
Crime. Horror.
582
00:39:46,228 --> 00:39:48,128
Imagination.
583
00:39:49,531 --> 00:39:51,158
Imagination.
584
00:39:51,333 --> 00:39:52,630
Clever.
585
00:39:52,801 --> 00:39:54,735
I do my best.
586
00:39:55,771 --> 00:39:57,932
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
587
00:40:03,612 --> 00:40:06,581
I see you got
a broken window up there.
588
00:40:08,383 --> 00:40:10,544
Tropical storm the other night.
589
00:40:10,719 --> 00:40:13,085
Bit of a hurricane, terrifying.
590
00:40:13,255 --> 00:40:16,088
A great branch broke off a big tree...
591
00:40:16,258 --> 00:40:18,783
...and flew through the air
through the skylight...
592
00:40:19,328 --> 00:40:21,262
...as you can see.
593
00:40:21,430 --> 00:40:22,727
Act of God.
594
00:40:22,898 --> 00:40:24,593
Had it in for you, did he?
595
00:40:24,766 --> 00:40:26,666
- Who?
- God.
596
00:40:26,835 --> 00:40:29,030
Oh, yes, he's always been
a vicious bastard.
597
00:40:29,204 --> 00:40:30,671
You know what God's trouble is?
598
00:40:30,839 --> 00:40:32,773
- What?
- He has no father.
599
00:40:32,941 --> 00:40:36,377
He has no family roots.
He's rootless.
600
00:40:36,545 --> 00:40:40,242
Nowhere to hang his hat,
poor bugger. I pity him.
601
00:40:40,415 --> 00:40:43,543
That's a very interesting
philosophical speculation.
602
00:40:43,719 --> 00:40:46,483
Wait a minute.
Aren't you a well-known detective?
603
00:40:46,655 --> 00:40:48,589
No.
604
00:40:48,757 --> 00:40:52,818
Not me, mate.
You're thinking of another bloke.
605
00:40:53,495 --> 00:40:56,692
Haven't I seen your picture
in the newspaper?
606
00:40:58,300 --> 00:41:00,700
Do you want to know
my opinion of the newspapers?
607
00:41:00,869 --> 00:41:02,427
What?
608
00:41:04,072 --> 00:41:07,473
Journalists are a bunch
of prick-teasing cocksuckers.
609
00:41:07,910 --> 00:41:09,104
No.
610
00:41:09,278 --> 00:41:10,506
That's right.
611
00:41:10,679 --> 00:41:13,807
I'm sorry, but isn't that
a contradiction in terms?
612
00:41:13,982 --> 00:41:15,711
Is it?
613
00:41:18,020 --> 00:41:19,282
So you're not well-known?
614
00:41:19,454 --> 00:41:21,547
No, I'm a common-or-garden copper.
615
00:41:21,723 --> 00:41:25,386
I just catch sex criminals, perverts...
616
00:41:25,561 --> 00:41:26,994
...homicidal maniacs.
617
00:41:27,162 --> 00:41:30,495
And what do you do with them
when you catch them?
618
00:41:30,666 --> 00:41:33,362
I generally cut their balls off.
619
00:41:34,970 --> 00:41:36,767
I see.
620
00:41:44,646 --> 00:41:48,013
So how can I help you?
621
00:41:48,183 --> 00:41:50,651
Yes, I think you can help me.
I think you can.
622
00:41:50,819 --> 00:41:52,184
How?
623
00:41:52,354 --> 00:41:54,049
I'm looking into a disappearance.
624
00:41:54,222 --> 00:41:55,246
Disappearance?
625
00:41:55,424 --> 00:41:58,689
Man called Tindle. Milo Tindle.
626
00:41:58,860 --> 00:42:02,455
Sorry, I didn't get the name.
What was it?
627
00:42:02,631 --> 00:42:04,223
Tindle.
628
00:42:05,167 --> 00:42:07,692
Tindle. Tindle...
629
00:42:08,971 --> 00:42:10,563
What about him?
630
00:42:10,739 --> 00:42:12,138
Do you know him?
631
00:42:12,307 --> 00:42:14,741
Know him? Absolutely not.
632
00:42:14,910 --> 00:42:16,707
- You mean you've never met him?
- Never.
633
00:42:16,878 --> 00:42:18,277
Never even heard of him.
634
00:42:18,447 --> 00:42:20,074
- That's funny.
- Why?
635
00:42:20,248 --> 00:42:23,046
Well, he was staying
at the Red Lion in the village...
636
00:42:23,218 --> 00:42:25,049
...where he mentioned
to the landlord...
637
00:42:25,220 --> 00:42:27,279
...he was coming to see you
three nights ago.
638
00:42:27,456 --> 00:42:28,650
He hasn't been seen since.
639
00:42:28,824 --> 00:42:31,588
His bag is still in his room,
shaving kit, all that.
640
00:42:31,760 --> 00:42:32,886
He was coming to see me?
641
00:42:33,061 --> 00:42:34,756
That's right.
642
00:42:34,930 --> 00:42:36,397
He mentioned it to the landlord?
643
00:42:36,565 --> 00:42:38,897
Why would he mention such a thing
to the landlord?
644
00:42:39,067 --> 00:42:42,230
Well, you're a famous writer
and you're well known in the district.
645
00:42:42,404 --> 00:42:44,099
So how can you help me on this?
646
00:42:44,272 --> 00:42:46,672
No one came to see me.
I've no idea who this man is.
647
00:42:46,842 --> 00:42:50,369
And I know no one called Tindle.
648
00:42:50,545 --> 00:42:52,410
You don't, eh?
649
00:43:00,889 --> 00:43:03,153
What are you? A joker?
650
00:43:03,325 --> 00:43:04,815
What do you mean?
651
00:43:04,993 --> 00:43:07,655
I mean you're pretty quick
on your feet.
652
00:43:07,829 --> 00:43:10,855
You should have been
a ballet dancer.
653
00:43:11,033 --> 00:43:14,298
I can just see you doing pirouettes.
654
00:43:15,370 --> 00:43:18,396
- Ever worn a pair of tights?
- Not me.
655
00:43:21,376 --> 00:43:23,173
They'd suit you.
656
00:43:24,780 --> 00:43:26,008
Nice house.
657
00:43:26,181 --> 00:43:27,648
Thanks.
658
00:43:28,583 --> 00:43:31,051
- Design it yourself?
- It's 18th-century.
659
00:43:31,219 --> 00:43:34,279
No, no, I meant this. The inside.
660
00:43:34,456 --> 00:43:35,480
That was my wife.
661
00:43:35,657 --> 00:43:38,057
Oh, your wife.
Is she here, by the way?
662
00:43:38,226 --> 00:43:39,284
No.
663
00:43:39,461 --> 00:43:41,019
Popped up to London?
664
00:43:41,196 --> 00:43:42,720
She's not here.
665
00:43:42,898 --> 00:43:45,628
She's an interior decorator, then?
666
00:43:45,801 --> 00:43:47,325
Something like that.
667
00:43:49,838 --> 00:43:52,204
It's a great gift, isn't it?
668
00:43:53,575 --> 00:43:55,736
You're a lucky man.
669
00:43:57,379 --> 00:43:59,279
You got an ashtray?
670
00:44:05,487 --> 00:44:07,682
I'm ready for another beer.
671
00:44:13,962 --> 00:44:16,123
A man was passing your house
three nights ago.
672
00:44:16,298 --> 00:44:18,562
He said he heard shots.
673
00:44:18,734 --> 00:44:20,326
Passed my house?
674
00:44:20,502 --> 00:44:23,835
How could he do that?
It's private property.
675
00:44:24,005 --> 00:44:26,439
He were taking a shortcut.
676
00:44:26,608 --> 00:44:27,973
I think he's a poacher.
677
00:44:28,143 --> 00:44:30,611
Anyway, says he heard shots.
678
00:44:30,779 --> 00:44:32,610
What kind of shots?
679
00:44:32,781 --> 00:44:33,805
Gunshots.
680
00:44:33,982 --> 00:44:35,745
- Fantasy.
- Really?
681
00:44:35,917 --> 00:44:38,044
Bullshit. Codswallop.
682
00:44:38,220 --> 00:44:41,018
Who is this man?
Are you sure he exists?
683
00:44:41,189 --> 00:44:43,487
Oh, he exists, all right.
684
00:44:43,658 --> 00:44:44,818
By the way, cheers.
685
00:44:44,993 --> 00:44:46,585
Cheers.
686
00:44:50,999 --> 00:44:53,559
I do want to ask you
one more question.
687
00:45:02,744 --> 00:45:04,177
Ask.
688
00:45:04,346 --> 00:45:07,110
You do know your wife's
living in London with another man?
689
00:45:09,317 --> 00:45:11,285
That is my business.
690
00:45:11,453 --> 00:45:14,217
My private life is my business.
691
00:45:14,389 --> 00:45:15,947
Do you know the name of this man?
692
00:45:16,124 --> 00:45:18,592
Why should I answer
these questions?
693
00:45:20,462 --> 00:45:23,454
You don't have to,
but you'd be better off if you did.
694
00:45:28,036 --> 00:45:30,527
I don't know the man's name.
695
00:45:30,972 --> 00:45:32,803
I never asked.
696
00:45:34,709 --> 00:45:38,805
So you do admit that your wife's
living in London with another man?
697
00:45:40,482 --> 00:45:43,280
Yes. Yes.
698
00:45:43,451 --> 00:45:45,146
So what?
699
00:45:47,055 --> 00:45:51,458
Well, I can tell you the man's name.
700
00:45:57,165 --> 00:45:59,190
It's Tindle.
701
00:45:59,768 --> 00:46:01,235
Milo Tindle.
702
00:46:06,241 --> 00:46:08,675
- Is it?
- Yeah.
703
00:46:09,845 --> 00:46:12,143
The bloke who's disappeared.
704
00:46:12,314 --> 00:46:15,340
The bloke who said
he was coming to see you.
705
00:46:15,517 --> 00:46:18,816
We found this note in his room.
706
00:46:18,987 --> 00:46:20,818
At the pub.
707
00:46:21,456 --> 00:46:24,118
"I look forward to meeting you.
708
00:46:24,292 --> 00:46:27,455
Come to the house Friday, 6:30.
709
00:46:27,662 --> 00:46:29,323
Wyke."
710
00:46:29,898 --> 00:46:32,264
Is this your handwriting?
711
00:46:33,501 --> 00:46:37,232
- It is.
- Do you remember writing this note?
712
00:46:37,806 --> 00:46:39,171
How could I forget?
713
00:46:39,341 --> 00:46:41,400
You forgot earlier.
714
00:46:41,576 --> 00:46:44,272
You said you didn't know him.
715
00:46:44,446 --> 00:46:47,108
You said you'd never met him.
716
00:47:06,201 --> 00:47:07,691
I was lying.
717
00:47:13,575 --> 00:47:15,975
Lying to the police.
718
00:47:17,012 --> 00:47:19,276
That will get you nowhere.
719
00:47:23,251 --> 00:47:25,446
I don't understand you,
mate, honest.
720
00:47:25,620 --> 00:47:28,555
You're a clever man.
You write clever books.
721
00:47:28,723 --> 00:47:31,123
But you've made a balls-up
of this one, haven't you?
722
00:47:31,593 --> 00:47:32,821
Have I?
723
00:47:32,994 --> 00:47:36,327
Tindle came to see you
three nights ago.
724
00:47:36,498 --> 00:47:38,932
- I knew him as Tindolini.
- Oh, I see.
725
00:47:39,100 --> 00:47:40,897
- He had an Italian father.
- Get away.
726
00:47:41,069 --> 00:47:43,765
A traditional
Italian hairdressing family.
727
00:47:43,939 --> 00:47:47,375
- Is he a hairdresser himself?
- I think he is.
728
00:47:47,542 --> 00:47:50,204
He didn't come all the way here
to do your hair, did he?
729
00:47:50,378 --> 00:47:52,642
Not at all, not at all.
730
00:47:53,782 --> 00:47:57,616
So, what did you two do
when you got together?
731
00:48:00,388 --> 00:48:01,855
We played a game.
732
00:48:02,223 --> 00:48:05,056
- A game?
- A game with a knife and a gun.
733
00:48:05,226 --> 00:48:06,750
- A lethal game?
- No.
734
00:48:07,228 --> 00:48:08,855
Just a bit of fun, that's all.
735
00:48:09,030 --> 00:48:11,464
Okay, a bit of fun.
736
00:48:11,633 --> 00:48:13,464
So he came to see you.
737
00:48:13,635 --> 00:48:17,093
You played a game
with a knife and a gun.
738
00:48:17,272 --> 00:48:20,366
Three shots were fired,
then he disappeared.
739
00:48:20,542 --> 00:48:21,736
So where is he?
740
00:48:21,910 --> 00:48:24,970
- Probably cuddling my wife.
- That's the one thing he's not doing.
741
00:48:25,380 --> 00:48:26,870
- How do you know?
- I've seen her.
742
00:48:27,048 --> 00:48:28,310
He was nowhere in sight.
743
00:48:30,585 --> 00:48:32,815
No. She's an anxious woman.
744
00:48:33,488 --> 00:48:35,888
She knew he was coming
to see you, you see.
745
00:48:36,057 --> 00:48:39,584
In fact, she insisted
that he come to see you...
746
00:48:39,761 --> 00:48:41,729
...as I know you know.
747
00:48:44,566 --> 00:48:47,160
She thinks you may have killed him.
748
00:48:47,635 --> 00:48:50,729
She thinks you're round the bend.
749
00:48:51,606 --> 00:48:53,836
She thinks
you're a very dangerous man.
750
00:48:54,009 --> 00:48:55,340
Me? She's joking.
751
00:48:57,112 --> 00:48:59,945
So tell me, between ourselves...
752
00:49:00,448 --> 00:49:02,245
...did you kill him?
753
00:49:04,552 --> 00:49:07,020
I'll tell you exactly what I did.
754
00:49:07,188 --> 00:49:09,418
I pretended to kill him.
755
00:49:09,591 --> 00:49:13,652
I shot him with a blank.
I frightened the shit out of him.
756
00:49:14,229 --> 00:49:17,392
Your man was right.
Your spy, whoever he was.
757
00:49:17,565 --> 00:49:19,089
There were three shots.
758
00:49:19,267 --> 00:49:22,361
The first two were real.
The third one was blank.
759
00:49:23,571 --> 00:49:27,166
He was terrified.
When I shot him, he fainted.
760
00:49:27,342 --> 00:49:29,970
When he came round
I gave him a drink, pat on the bum...
761
00:49:30,612 --> 00:49:34,878
...he left the house, his tail, if you
want to call it that, between his legs.
762
00:49:35,050 --> 00:49:36,642
And I haven't seen him since.
763
00:49:36,818 --> 00:49:39,446
You gave him a pat on the bum?
764
00:49:39,621 --> 00:49:40,849
Metaphorically.
765
00:49:41,022 --> 00:49:44,048
You gave him
a metaphorical pat on the bum?
766
00:49:44,225 --> 00:49:45,954
- Sure.
- How did he take it?
767
00:49:46,127 --> 00:49:47,992
- What?
- The pat.
768
00:49:48,563 --> 00:49:53,000
He was fine. He told me that
it was game, set and match to me.
769
00:49:53,835 --> 00:49:56,827
So this guy had a sense of humor,
is that what you're saying?
770
00:49:57,005 --> 00:49:59,838
Oh, yes. He left the house
with a twinkle in his eye.
771
00:50:00,008 --> 00:50:03,171
So tell me,
what was the point of all this?
772
00:50:03,344 --> 00:50:04,402
Humiliation.
773
00:50:04,579 --> 00:50:06,308
It's nice to see your wife's lover...
774
00:50:06,481 --> 00:50:09,348
...a shivering, frightened,
fucking wreck in front of you.
775
00:50:09,517 --> 00:50:11,348
As a matter of fact, I liked him.
776
00:50:11,820 --> 00:50:13,219
I thought he was attractive.
777
00:50:13,388 --> 00:50:15,379
I thought we could have
become good friends.
778
00:50:15,890 --> 00:50:20,725
The shortest way to a man's heart,
as I'm sure you know, is humiliation.
779
00:50:20,895 --> 00:50:23,363
It binds you together.
780
00:50:25,834 --> 00:50:28,632
You found him attractive?
781
00:50:28,803 --> 00:50:32,637
I put myself in my wife's shoes,
in a manner of speaking.
782
00:50:32,807 --> 00:50:36,538
I was trying to find out
what attracted her to him.
783
00:50:38,646 --> 00:50:40,477
- And did you?
- Oh, yes.
784
00:50:40,648 --> 00:50:43,481
He was really terribly sweet.
785
00:50:43,651 --> 00:50:47,109
- I could see why she fancied him.
- I could see why he fancies her.
786
00:50:48,590 --> 00:50:50,717
- Really?
- Found her very tasty myself.
787
00:50:51,392 --> 00:50:53,656
- Is that so?
- Oh, yes.
788
00:50:53,828 --> 00:50:56,262
Sumptuous. Ready for action.
789
00:50:58,233 --> 00:51:01,031
I mean,
I'm an experienced detective.
790
00:51:01,202 --> 00:51:04,228
So guess what I detected.
791
00:51:04,405 --> 00:51:05,633
What?
792
00:51:05,807 --> 00:51:09,174
That she's in love
with her own body.
793
00:51:09,344 --> 00:51:12,040
Makes her dizzy with excitement.
794
00:51:15,817 --> 00:51:17,717
You detected all this
in five minutes?
795
00:51:17,886 --> 00:51:20,616
Well, 35. Perhaps even 45.
796
00:51:20,788 --> 00:51:24,656
Well, let's call it 55
or even a little bit longer.
797
00:51:25,126 --> 00:51:26,150
You stayed for tea?
798
00:51:26,327 --> 00:51:28,295
And cakes.
799
00:51:29,597 --> 00:51:30,757
Yeah.
800
00:51:36,037 --> 00:51:37,163
Yeah.
801
00:51:37,338 --> 00:51:38,965
Must be funny for you to know...
802
00:51:39,140 --> 00:51:42,871
...your own wife's getting a going-over
from another man on a regular basis.
803
00:51:43,044 --> 00:51:44,477
Going-over? I don't follow.
804
00:51:44,646 --> 00:51:45,977
You don't?
805
00:51:46,147 --> 00:51:47,705
Not a phrase I'm familiar with.
806
00:51:47,882 --> 00:51:51,249
- Means being fucked.
- You mean like in sexual intercourse?
807
00:51:51,419 --> 00:51:54,786
Yes, the old one-two.
In like a lion, out like a lamb.
808
00:51:54,956 --> 00:51:57,584
I must say, you have
a great gift for language.
809
00:51:57,759 --> 00:51:59,021
Did you learn it at school?
810
00:51:59,194 --> 00:52:00,991
The hard school. Family life.
811
00:52:01,196 --> 00:52:03,926
- But you keep cheerful.
- You've got it, I keep cheerful.
812
00:52:04,098 --> 00:52:06,589
I've got an optimistic nature.
813
00:52:06,768 --> 00:52:09,293
You got to when you're a policeman.
Otherwise, you'd go mad.
814
00:52:09,470 --> 00:52:12,871
No, I'll tell you
what keeps me going.
815
00:52:14,542 --> 00:52:18,171
The chase. The thrill of the hunt
and the sudden shafts of bright light.
816
00:52:18,846 --> 00:52:23,783
For instance,
when I was talking to your wife...
817
00:52:24,652 --> 00:52:27,086
Very attractive woman.
818
00:52:28,690 --> 00:52:30,885
Wonderful legs.
819
00:52:34,495 --> 00:52:37,225
She was crossing them at the time,
I remember.
820
00:52:37,398 --> 00:52:42,961
She suddenly said
you had a murderous nature.
821
00:52:45,173 --> 00:52:47,698
Now, that really
made my nose twitch.
822
00:52:47,875 --> 00:52:49,467
Itch?
823
00:52:51,045 --> 00:52:53,775
Twitch, mate.
824
00:52:54,215 --> 00:52:55,978
Twitch.
825
00:52:56,584 --> 00:52:59,451
So I'm looking at you
and I'm wondering...
826
00:52:59,621 --> 00:53:01,885
...what have you done
with the body?
827
00:53:03,291 --> 00:53:05,020
Where's the body?
828
00:53:05,793 --> 00:53:07,818
Come on, I need to know.
829
00:53:08,296 --> 00:53:10,696
Where's the body?
What have you done with the body?
830
00:53:10,865 --> 00:53:11,889
There's no body.
831
00:53:12,066 --> 00:53:14,057
Don't fuck about!
832
00:53:14,235 --> 00:53:16,066
Don't bullshit me.
I won't stand for it.
833
00:53:16,237 --> 00:53:18,364
Where is it?
In the house or did you shift it?
834
00:53:18,539 --> 00:53:20,530
There is no body!
835
00:53:29,183 --> 00:53:32,243
Here, look at this.
You got holes in your walls.
836
00:53:35,189 --> 00:53:38,124
They're bullet holes.
Live bullet holes.
837
00:53:38,293 --> 00:53:40,420
I fired two live bullets
to set up the trick...
838
00:53:40,595 --> 00:53:42,187
...and one blank to complete it.
839
00:53:42,363 --> 00:53:44,854
It was a game, I told you.
I played it to the hilt.
840
00:53:45,033 --> 00:53:47,763
It's not worth playing
unless you play it to the hilt.
841
00:53:47,935 --> 00:53:50,130
- The third shot was a blank?
- That's right.
842
00:53:50,305 --> 00:53:51,329
- What's that?
- What?
843
00:53:51,506 --> 00:53:53,565
Blood. Dried blood!
844
00:53:53,741 --> 00:53:56,005
Some of it's not even dried.
It's still damp.
845
00:53:56,177 --> 00:53:58,042
- That's impossible.
- That's blood, chum.
846
00:53:58,212 --> 00:54:00,180
- Whose blood is it?
- It's impossible.
847
00:54:00,348 --> 00:54:01,838
It was a game. It was a blank.
848
00:54:02,016 --> 00:54:04,484
No, it was a game
with real bullets and real blood.
849
00:54:04,652 --> 00:54:05,949
This is a carve-up.
850
00:54:06,120 --> 00:54:09,920
Let's see what else
is new around here.
851
00:54:10,491 --> 00:54:12,322
Hello, what's this?
852
00:54:13,161 --> 00:54:17,154
We've got a shirt, jacket and trousers
in the back of your cupboard.
853
00:54:17,332 --> 00:54:20,130
Very negligent of you, mate,
unless they're not yours.
854
00:54:20,301 --> 00:54:24,260
No, I don't think they're yours.
I think they belong to Tindle.
855
00:54:24,439 --> 00:54:27,203
You say he left the house
after you shot him.
856
00:54:27,375 --> 00:54:29,275
- Yes.
- Naked?
857
00:54:29,444 --> 00:54:30,911
I don't know how those got there.
858
00:54:31,079 --> 00:54:33,479
So you made him strip
before you shot him?
859
00:54:33,648 --> 00:54:35,639
Part of the humiliation, was it?
860
00:54:35,817 --> 00:54:37,341
No. The thing is this.
861
00:54:37,518 --> 00:54:40,544
It might have started as a game,
but it got out of hand.
862
00:54:40,722 --> 00:54:43,054
The third shot was live!
863
00:54:43,224 --> 00:54:46,682
It killed him. So where's the body?
864
00:54:46,861 --> 00:54:48,954
I didn't kill him! He's alive!
865
00:54:49,130 --> 00:54:51,291
Bollocks. You're a joker, all right.
866
00:54:51,466 --> 00:54:52,990
A real joker.
867
00:54:53,167 --> 00:54:54,964
Come on, we're off to the station.
868
00:54:55,136 --> 00:54:57,730
- There's something very wrong here.
- Hey, dead right.
869
00:54:57,905 --> 00:55:01,204
I'll tell you what you are.
You're fucked.
870
00:55:01,676 --> 00:55:02,700
Jesus Christ.
871
00:55:02,877 --> 00:55:05,141
Don't struggle, chum.
I'll have you for breakfast.
872
00:55:05,313 --> 00:55:06,644
There's something wrong here.
873
00:55:06,814 --> 00:55:10,773
You're up shit creek, Wyke.
You're up shit creek without a paddle.
874
00:55:14,122 --> 00:55:17,614
Look at you. All aquiver.
875
00:55:18,426 --> 00:55:20,587
Who's the dead duck?
876
00:55:24,298 --> 00:55:25,731
Jesus Christ.
877
00:55:29,303 --> 00:55:33,069
You're the dead duck.
878
00:55:35,777 --> 00:55:41,579
I just sucked you in
and blew you out in little bubbles.
879
00:55:41,749 --> 00:55:43,216
- It's you.
- It's me, all right.
880
00:55:43,384 --> 00:55:45,784
You bastard. You stinking bastard.
881
00:55:45,953 --> 00:55:47,318
Just a little game, Andrew.
882
00:55:47,488 --> 00:55:49,456
- Just a little game.
- You shit.
883
00:55:49,624 --> 00:55:52,354
- I thought it might amuse you.
- You're a total shit.
884
00:55:52,527 --> 00:55:53,858
I know I am.
885
00:55:54,028 --> 00:55:57,691
- But you're also a genius.
- I know that too.
886
00:56:00,168 --> 00:56:02,466
When did you do this?
The clothes in the wardrobe?
887
00:56:02,637 --> 00:56:05,265
- The blood?
- The blood belongs to a pig's liver.
888
00:56:05,440 --> 00:56:07,601
But when did you do it?
How did you do it?
889
00:56:07,775 --> 00:56:10,744
I did it last night. I used that ladder.
I heard you snoring.
890
00:56:10,912 --> 00:56:14,006
Does Maggie know about this?
Your detective, was it her idea?
891
00:56:14,182 --> 00:56:16,616
- How much does she know?
- She knows nothing about it.
892
00:56:16,784 --> 00:56:19,912
Entirely my own idea.
893
00:56:20,087 --> 00:56:23,079
This is a game between us, old boy.
894
00:56:23,257 --> 00:56:26,124
Between you and me.
895
00:56:26,294 --> 00:56:28,762
Don't forget, I'm half Italian.
896
00:56:28,930 --> 00:56:30,591
We go in for revenge.
897
00:56:43,544 --> 00:56:47,947
After all, you frightened
the life out of me deliberately.
898
00:56:48,115 --> 00:56:50,982
You fired two live bullets
into the wall...
899
00:56:51,152 --> 00:56:54,883
...and then you pointed
the gun at me.
900
00:56:55,056 --> 00:56:57,251
And then you fired.
901
00:57:01,095 --> 00:57:02,722
I don't like guns.
902
00:57:04,065 --> 00:57:05,760
They kill you.
903
00:57:09,036 --> 00:57:10,697
Okay.
904
00:57:10,872 --> 00:57:13,397
So, what does this make the score?
905
00:57:14,442 --> 00:57:16,467
You've had your revenge.
906
00:57:16,644 --> 00:57:20,842
So, what do you reckon?
907
00:57:21,315 --> 00:57:23,283
One set all?
908
00:57:23,784 --> 00:57:26,150
No, no, you're way ahead.
909
00:57:26,954 --> 00:57:31,288
I only teased you with my inspector,
gave you a few goose pimples.
910
00:57:32,260 --> 00:57:33,852
But you frightened me to death.
911
00:57:36,097 --> 00:57:38,622
Did you really think
I was going to kill you?
912
00:57:38,799 --> 00:57:42,428
You fainted, you see.
It was a blank.
913
00:57:43,571 --> 00:57:46,699
I may be three games up
in the second set.
914
00:57:46,874 --> 00:57:47,898
If I had killed you...
915
00:57:48,075 --> 00:57:51,408
...I'd have to bury the body
in the garden or somewhere.
916
00:57:51,579 --> 00:57:52,603
Too exhausting.
917
00:57:52,780 --> 00:57:54,213
But you won the first, 6-Iove.
918
00:57:58,953 --> 00:58:01,478
So we're a long way
from one set all.
919
00:58:08,129 --> 00:58:11,155
By the way, I spoke to Maggie.
920
00:58:11,332 --> 00:58:14,267
I told her all about you.
921
00:58:14,435 --> 00:58:15,902
She loved it.
922
00:58:17,038 --> 00:58:18,232
Loved what?
923
00:58:18,739 --> 00:58:21,503
That I frightened the life out of you.
924
00:58:21,676 --> 00:58:23,007
That you pissed your pants.
925
00:58:25,012 --> 00:58:27,503
And that you actually fainted.
926
00:58:27,682 --> 00:58:30,651
She said to me,
"You mean he actually fainted?"
927
00:58:30,818 --> 00:58:33,582
I said, "Dead out,
he was scared shitless.
928
00:58:35,022 --> 00:58:36,546
Went out like a light."
929
00:58:38,025 --> 00:58:42,189
She laughed so much,
I thought she was gonna burst.
930
00:58:46,634 --> 00:58:50,570
Oh, incidentally,
she's coming back to me.
931
00:58:51,238 --> 00:58:52,569
Oh, is she?
932
00:58:52,740 --> 00:58:54,469
Yes, that's right.
933
00:58:54,642 --> 00:58:56,405
You know what she said about you?
934
00:58:56,577 --> 00:58:57,635
What?
935
00:58:57,812 --> 00:58:59,109
She said:
936
00:58:59,280 --> 00:59:02,681
"Faint heart never won fair lady."
937
00:59:05,152 --> 00:59:06,312
Is that a fact?
938
00:59:06,487 --> 00:59:07,784
Yeah.
939
00:59:09,624 --> 00:59:13,822
Listen, I want to
show you something.
940
00:59:14,295 --> 00:59:17,594
Go into your study and sit down.
941
00:59:19,800 --> 00:59:21,358
Go into my study?
942
00:59:22,870 --> 00:59:25,065
And sit down.
943
00:59:28,576 --> 00:59:31,545
- What are you doing?
- It's late at night.
944
00:59:31,712 --> 00:59:34,044
You're reading a book under a lamp.
Read something.
945
00:59:34,215 --> 00:59:36,775
- What's going on?
- Read a book.
946
00:59:36,951 --> 00:59:39,351
It's late at night.
You're reading a book.
947
00:59:39,520 --> 00:59:41,613
You hear something. You look up.
948
00:59:41,789 --> 00:59:43,586
It's me jumping off the ladder.
949
00:59:43,758 --> 00:59:45,385
You see me with this gun.
950
00:59:45,559 --> 00:59:49,586
You're caught like a rat in a trap.
You stare at the gun, you're paralyzed.
951
00:59:49,764 --> 00:59:51,095
I've come for the jewels.
952
00:59:51,265 --> 00:59:52,994
- Where is the safe?
- What jewels?
953
00:59:53,167 --> 00:59:54,532
The jewels. Where's the safe?
954
00:59:54,702 --> 00:59:56,135
- You know where it is.
- I don't.
955
00:59:56,303 --> 00:59:58,430
- You don't?
- Don't fuck me about, I mean it.
956
00:59:58,606 --> 01:00:00,130
Get up.
957
01:00:00,941 --> 01:00:03,341
You think this gun isn't real?
958
01:00:06,013 --> 01:00:07,913
Where is it?
959
01:00:08,683 --> 01:00:11,618
- Upstairs.
- Well, let's go upstairs.
960
01:00:12,319 --> 01:00:17,621
Get up these stairs
or I'll ram this gun right up your ass.
961
01:00:17,825 --> 01:00:21,124
- The safe is behind the fish tank.
- How am I gonna get to it?
962
01:00:21,295 --> 01:00:23,923
Well, you press the button
and the button moves the tank.
963
01:00:24,098 --> 01:00:26,362
Then press it.
964
01:00:26,534 --> 01:00:29,094
It's not working. It's out of ord...
965
01:00:30,504 --> 01:00:31,994
Are you a maniac? You're crazy.
966
01:00:32,173 --> 01:00:34,869
- Open it.
- I changed the combination yesterday.
967
01:00:35,042 --> 01:00:37,533
- What is it?
- I forgot. I can't remember.
968
01:00:37,712 --> 01:00:39,771
- Remember.
- It's the truth. I can't remember.
969
01:00:39,947 --> 01:00:41,005
Remember!
970
01:00:44,118 --> 01:00:46,018
What are you doing?
What are you gonna do?
971
01:00:46,187 --> 01:00:50,351
I've broken into your house because
I know you have jewels in a safe.
972
01:00:51,192 --> 01:00:53,888
I have inside information.
I want them.
973
01:00:54,061 --> 01:00:56,461
Remember the combination
and open it.
974
01:01:03,637 --> 01:01:05,628
It was a blank.
975
01:01:07,241 --> 01:01:08,731
The next one's real.
976
01:01:27,261 --> 01:01:29,092
There's a good boy.
977
01:01:47,181 --> 01:01:49,615
So, what are you writing
at the moment?
978
01:01:54,555 --> 01:01:56,250
What am I writing?
979
01:01:56,724 --> 01:01:58,783
Yes, I'm very interested in literature.
980
01:02:03,264 --> 01:02:05,926
Do you mind if I have a drink?
981
01:02:06,100 --> 01:02:09,729
Sure. It's your house.
982
01:02:10,104 --> 01:02:14,302
I'm always interested
in the people I rob.
983
01:02:14,508 --> 01:02:18,501
Like I'm always interested
in the husbands of the wives I fuck.
984
01:02:20,114 --> 01:02:21,843
Are you really?
985
01:02:22,583 --> 01:02:24,244
Well, well.
986
01:02:25,419 --> 01:02:27,011
Cheers.
987
01:02:33,561 --> 01:02:38,089
So, what are you writing?
988
01:02:42,837 --> 01:02:46,500
It's the story of a pathological killer.
989
01:02:46,674 --> 01:02:49,768
- I call it The Smiling Man.
- Does he come to a bad end?
990
01:02:49,944 --> 01:02:52,845
He dies during the act of love.
Like countless others.
991
01:02:53,013 --> 01:02:54,241
Countless others, eh?
992
01:02:54,415 --> 01:02:56,849
I can see you've researched
the subject thoroughly.
993
01:02:57,918 --> 01:03:01,319
- What subject?
- Death in orgasm.
994
01:03:01,488 --> 01:03:05,288
Isn't that a beautiful notion?
To die in the arms of your beloved.
995
01:03:05,459 --> 01:03:09,122
Can you imagine
anything more poignant?
996
01:03:09,296 --> 01:03:11,457
- I can't, no.
- No.
997
01:03:11,632 --> 01:03:16,001
- You're a married man, aren't you?
- Yeah, been married 13 years.
998
01:03:16,170 --> 01:03:17,432
It was love at first sight.
999
01:03:17,605 --> 01:03:18,970
- Very moving.
- Yeah.
1000
01:03:19,139 --> 01:03:21,334
And we're still in love.
Like two peas in a pod.
1001
01:03:21,508 --> 01:03:24,102
Someone told me
your wife has a lover.
1002
01:03:24,278 --> 01:03:26,303
- She has, yeah.
- Do you know him?
1003
01:03:26,480 --> 01:03:29,347
No, I've never met him.
He's some sort of Italian.
1004
01:03:29,516 --> 01:03:31,848
Called Tandoori or something.
1005
01:03:32,019 --> 01:03:34,044
One of the Bombay Tandooris?
1006
01:03:34,221 --> 01:03:36,212
You've got it, yeah.
1007
01:03:36,390 --> 01:03:39,257
You know something? I've never met
an artistic burglar before.
1008
01:03:39,426 --> 01:03:41,519
That's fantastic.
1009
01:03:42,763 --> 01:03:44,663
- What's your background?
- Me?
1010
01:03:44,832 --> 01:03:47,266
- You.
- Irish. Connemara.
1011
01:03:47,434 --> 01:03:49,629
Spanish descent.
By way of Uganda.
1012
01:03:49,803 --> 01:03:51,498
My grandparents were slaves.
1013
01:03:51,672 --> 01:03:54,698
My mother was a dark-eyed,
dusky beauty.
1014
01:03:54,875 --> 01:03:58,538
- Were you breastfed?
- Oh, sure, like a baby.
1015
01:04:00,180 --> 01:04:05,812
Shall I tell you what I want you to do
with these jewels?
1016
01:04:06,720 --> 01:04:08,244
What?
1017
01:04:20,634 --> 01:04:25,901
You look so charming.
1018
01:04:32,379 --> 01:04:33,903
How do you want it?
1019
01:04:34,081 --> 01:04:35,673
Like this?
1020
01:04:35,849 --> 01:04:38,215
Or shorter?
1021
01:04:39,286 --> 01:04:43,552
How about this?
Or even shorter like a halter?
1022
01:04:43,724 --> 01:04:47,216
- You're hurting me.
- Oh, am I hurting you?
1023
01:04:47,394 --> 01:04:51,091
- Yes. Don't hurt me.
- Are you sensitive to pain?
1024
01:04:51,265 --> 01:04:53,426
Very. Very.
1025
01:04:53,600 --> 01:04:56,160
I wouldn't want to hurt you,
sweetheart.
1026
01:04:56,337 --> 01:04:58,828
You're too much fun.
1027
01:04:59,006 --> 01:05:02,840
- Am I really?
- Oh, yes. You're wicked.
1028
01:05:03,010 --> 01:05:05,945
I like that. Yeah.
1029
01:05:07,114 --> 01:05:09,173
Do you know something?
1030
01:05:10,351 --> 01:05:13,479
I don't think
these earrings really suit me.
1031
01:05:15,422 --> 01:05:18,550
You're right. Take them off.
1032
01:05:22,529 --> 01:05:24,258
I don't...
1033
01:05:24,431 --> 01:05:29,095
I don't think this bracelet
is really my style either.
1034
01:05:30,904 --> 01:05:33,395
But the necklace is nice.
1035
01:05:34,775 --> 01:05:35,901
I'm not totally sure.
1036
01:05:36,076 --> 01:05:40,979
Listen, you can play with these jewels
until the cows come home.
1037
01:05:41,148 --> 01:05:45,642
They're yours.
Do what you like with them.
1038
01:05:48,222 --> 01:05:51,350
But I thought you'd just stolen them.
1039
01:05:51,525 --> 01:05:53,993
No, no! It was a game!
1040
01:05:54,161 --> 01:05:59,189
It was just a game!
I thought it might amuse you.
1041
01:06:16,350 --> 01:06:17,840
Well...
1042
01:06:19,420 --> 01:06:23,083
Aren't you the wicked one?
1043
01:06:30,497 --> 01:06:31,794
You remember what I said?
1044
01:06:33,467 --> 01:06:36,834
You won the first set, 6-Iove.
I was 3-Iove up in the second.
1045
01:06:37,004 --> 01:06:41,441
Well, now it's one set all.
1046
01:06:51,585 --> 01:06:55,112
But who's going to win the third set?
1047
01:06:57,324 --> 01:06:59,417
Remains to be seen.
1048
01:07:18,312 --> 01:07:19,711
You like games, don't you?
1049
01:07:21,014 --> 01:07:23,482
Some. Not all.
1050
01:07:23,650 --> 01:07:26,175
But you like being in charge...
1051
01:07:26,353 --> 01:07:28,116
...of the game?
1052
01:07:29,490 --> 01:07:31,822
Oh, yes. Sure.
1053
01:07:33,527 --> 01:07:36,553
I like a man who wants
to be in charge of things.
1054
01:07:36,763 --> 01:07:39,425
- Do you?
- Yes, I do.
1055
01:07:40,801 --> 01:07:42,996
Listen, you've met my wife, I think.
1056
01:07:44,304 --> 01:07:48,172
I have met her. Yes.
1057
01:07:48,375 --> 01:07:51,208
- Did she say if she had a husband?
- Yes.
1058
01:07:51,378 --> 01:07:54,006
Yeah, she said she had a husband.
1059
01:07:54,815 --> 01:07:57,477
How did she describe him?
1060
01:07:59,453 --> 01:08:01,887
Remote. Cold.
1061
01:08:02,055 --> 01:08:04,956
Malevolent. Spiteful.
1062
01:08:05,425 --> 01:08:08,053
Arrogant. Ruthless.
1063
01:08:08,228 --> 01:08:10,059
Jealous. Paranoid.
1064
01:08:10,230 --> 01:08:14,098
Criminal tendencies.
Mentally unsound.
1065
01:08:14,301 --> 01:08:15,734
That's me, all right.
1066
01:08:20,107 --> 01:08:22,541
You know something?
I like your mind.
1067
01:08:23,243 --> 01:08:25,370
- Do you really?
- It excites me.
1068
01:08:25,779 --> 01:08:27,644
I like the way you go about things.
1069
01:08:29,449 --> 01:08:32,782
You mean you like my style?
1070
01:08:32,953 --> 01:08:35,148
Oh, I like your style.
1071
01:08:35,322 --> 01:08:37,847
I like it very much.
1072
01:08:38,959 --> 01:08:42,656
Look, I want to
make you a proposition.
1073
01:08:43,630 --> 01:08:45,120
What?
1074
01:08:47,467 --> 01:08:49,560
I want to show you something.
1075
01:08:53,807 --> 01:08:57,607
- Can't you put that gun down now?
- No.
1076
01:08:57,778 --> 01:09:00,906
God, you're so strong, so ruthless,
aren't you?
1077
01:09:01,081 --> 01:09:02,105
Yes.
1078
01:09:02,282 --> 01:09:05,046
Have you any idea
what my proposition is going to be?
1079
01:09:05,219 --> 01:09:07,585
- No.
- Are you excited?
1080
01:09:07,754 --> 01:09:08,880
I'd say intrigued.
1081
01:09:09,056 --> 01:09:11,786
I think you're going to be excited
very much.
1082
01:09:11,959 --> 01:09:15,360
This is the guest suite.
1083
01:09:16,997 --> 01:09:20,398
Isn't it nice? Look at the view.
1084
01:09:21,435 --> 01:09:23,562
There's a private bathroom.
A small fridge.
1085
01:09:23,737 --> 01:09:28,936
A bottle of Chilean Chardonnay
is chilling in there at this very moment.
1086
01:09:30,344 --> 01:09:33,142
This suite is uninhabited.
1087
01:09:34,615 --> 01:09:36,207
It has no occupant.
1088
01:09:41,989 --> 01:09:43,718
How would you like it?
1089
01:09:47,160 --> 01:09:48,457
Me?
1090
01:09:50,731 --> 01:09:52,164
Yes, yes.
1091
01:09:52,332 --> 01:09:57,133
I think I've come to the conclusion
that you're my kind of person.
1092
01:10:00,140 --> 01:10:01,664
Am I, now?
1093
01:10:02,242 --> 01:10:04,802
Well, I told you.
I liked your mind. It excited me.
1094
01:10:04,978 --> 01:10:08,846
I need intellectual excitement.
1095
01:10:09,016 --> 01:10:11,314
Intellectual stimulation.
1096
01:10:13,320 --> 01:10:15,220
Well, they don't grow on trees.
1097
01:10:15,989 --> 01:10:18,253
I'm a rich man.
1098
01:10:18,425 --> 01:10:20,484
What do you want to do?
1099
01:10:20,661 --> 01:10:23,289
I can subsidize anything you want.
1100
01:10:24,331 --> 01:10:27,027
You want to open a bookshop
in the village?
1101
01:10:27,834 --> 01:10:31,463
An art gallery?
Or, of course, a little theater.
1102
01:10:31,905 --> 01:10:33,065
You're a wonderful actor.
1103
01:10:33,240 --> 01:10:37,199
You could choose all the plays
and play all the leading parts.
1104
01:10:38,712 --> 01:10:43,012
But this would be your home.
1105
01:10:47,654 --> 01:10:50,316
And this would be your bedroom.
1106
01:10:55,362 --> 01:10:58,593
You're asking me to live here?
1107
01:11:00,334 --> 01:11:03,770
Yes, I'm asking you to stay with me.
1108
01:11:04,471 --> 01:11:08,771
Oh, we would also travel.
I mean, Jamaica, Swiss Alps.
1109
01:11:08,942 --> 01:11:10,910
I bet you're a wonderful skier,
aren't you?
1110
01:11:11,078 --> 01:11:13,171
You could ski
to your heart's content.
1111
01:11:13,347 --> 01:11:15,212
Swim in the blue Caribbean.
1112
01:11:15,949 --> 01:11:19,350
I'd be waiting at our table
with a Scotch on the rocks.
1113
01:11:19,519 --> 01:11:21,646
Or a chilled Chilean Chardonnay.
1114
01:11:24,524 --> 01:11:26,321
The world would be your oyster.
1115
01:11:29,029 --> 01:11:31,395
But what about Maggie?
1116
01:11:33,100 --> 01:11:34,931
Forget her.
1117
01:11:35,102 --> 01:11:37,127
Let her rot.
1118
01:11:37,871 --> 01:11:39,463
Stay with me.
1119
01:11:39,639 --> 01:11:41,903
You're my kind of person.
1120
01:11:49,950 --> 01:11:52,316
It's quite tempting.
1121
01:12:02,662 --> 01:12:04,755
Hello?
1122
01:12:04,931 --> 01:12:06,455
Hi.
1123
01:12:08,368 --> 01:12:10,233
It's going okay.
1124
01:12:13,273 --> 01:12:15,400
We're still talking.
1125
01:12:16,710 --> 01:12:19,804
We're on the right track.
It's all going okay.
1126
01:12:20,747 --> 01:12:22,772
Don't come down.
1127
01:12:22,949 --> 01:12:25,918
That would be a mistake.
It's all going fine.
1128
01:12:27,988 --> 01:12:29,956
I love you too.
1129
01:12:31,391 --> 01:12:32,983
I am.
1130
01:12:33,693 --> 01:12:35,661
I'm kissing you.
1131
01:12:36,730 --> 01:12:38,630
Oh, yes.
1132
01:12:39,499 --> 01:12:41,933
I can taste your mouth.
1133
01:12:47,140 --> 01:12:49,108
What the hell did she want?
1134
01:12:49,643 --> 01:12:51,873
She wants that divorce.
1135
01:12:53,747 --> 01:12:55,772
What about my proposition?
1136
01:12:59,786 --> 01:13:02,346
Well, I like the idea of Jamaica.
1137
01:13:02,522 --> 01:13:05,980
- What about Barbados?
- Well, and Barbados, and Antigua.
1138
01:13:06,159 --> 01:13:08,684
Yeah, it's true. There's so many
places I haven't seen.
1139
01:13:08,862 --> 01:13:11,797
Hollywood. Saint Petersburg.
1140
01:13:11,965 --> 01:13:14,433
The C๏ฟฝte d'Azur, Coney Island.
1141
01:13:14,601 --> 01:13:18,401
And I hear there's that wonderful hotel
in Scotland called Balmoral.
1142
01:13:18,572 --> 01:13:21,405
- That's where the queen lives.
- So bed and breakfast is out.
1143
01:13:21,575 --> 01:13:24,009
- It's on if you know the queen.
- I don't.
1144
01:13:24,177 --> 01:13:25,474
I do.
1145
01:13:26,179 --> 01:13:27,771
That's fantastic.
1146
01:13:30,517 --> 01:13:32,382
But seriously, though.
1147
01:13:32,552 --> 01:13:35,077
We could have
such a wonderful time together.
1148
01:13:35,255 --> 01:13:36,722
Venice? Disneyland?
1149
01:13:37,457 --> 01:13:39,925
Whatever you want.
Whatever you want.
1150
01:13:40,093 --> 01:13:41,117
Whoever you want.
1151
01:13:41,761 --> 01:13:44,594
I could introduce you
to whoever you want.
1152
01:13:44,764 --> 01:13:47,324
Kissinger? Dick Cheney?
1153
01:13:47,501 --> 01:13:48,695
Madonna? Mike Tyson?
1154
01:13:48,869 --> 01:13:49,893
- Yes.
- Yes?
1155
01:13:50,804 --> 01:13:55,036
I must say, that as offers go...
1156
01:13:56,243 --> 01:13:59,269
...it's quite tempting.
1157
01:14:01,882 --> 01:14:04,715
You're a naughty tempter,
aren't you?
1158
01:14:06,686 --> 01:14:11,089
I'm so glad you like my mind.
Not many people like my mind.
1159
01:14:11,258 --> 01:14:13,283
Quite a few people like my body...
1160
01:14:13,460 --> 01:14:16,020
...but I can't think of anyone
who likes my mind.
1161
01:14:17,330 --> 01:14:19,890
That makes you unique.
1162
01:14:20,734 --> 01:14:23,328
But then, of course,
you know what they say.
1163
01:14:23,503 --> 01:14:25,494
The mind is the body.
1164
01:14:26,540 --> 01:14:27,598
Is that what they say?
1165
01:14:27,774 --> 01:14:31,039
Somebody said something like it once.
Bullshit, of course. Anyway...
1166
01:14:31,978 --> 01:14:35,607
Perhaps I am your sort of person.
Who knows?
1167
01:14:37,083 --> 01:14:41,577
But you would have
to be very nice to me.
1168
01:14:41,788 --> 01:14:45,815
For instance,
just at this moment, I need a drink.
1169
01:14:56,202 --> 01:14:58,193
You can get your own drink.
1170
01:14:58,371 --> 01:15:01,363
No, you get it for me
and I might be nice to you.
1171
01:15:01,541 --> 01:15:03,805
- Nice to me?
- That's what I said.
1172
01:15:03,977 --> 01:15:05,205
Whisky, please.
1173
01:15:24,364 --> 01:15:28,528
Can't deny, I can be
quite a congenial companion.
1174
01:15:28,702 --> 01:15:30,693
I really... I can't deny it.
1175
01:15:33,540 --> 01:15:40,002
I could be quite a witty companion.
1176
01:15:40,947 --> 01:15:45,884
Would you like a witty companion?
1177
01:15:46,052 --> 01:15:50,887
- Very much.
- I'm particularly witty in the morning.
1178
01:15:51,057 --> 01:15:52,319
Would that suit you?
1179
01:15:53,526 --> 01:15:59,089
Some people hate wit in the morning.
What about you?
1180
01:15:59,265 --> 01:16:00,732
I love wit in the morning.
1181
01:16:02,602 --> 01:16:04,502
Over boiled eggs?
1182
01:16:07,040 --> 01:16:08,473
Do you like eggs?
1183
01:16:09,075 --> 01:16:10,099
Absolutely.
1184
01:16:15,315 --> 01:16:17,909
I'm a dab hand in the kitchen.
1185
01:16:18,485 --> 01:16:24,651
But you have to be nice to me
and get me a drink when I ask for it.
1186
01:16:47,414 --> 01:16:49,041
You see?
1187
01:16:50,483 --> 01:16:53,646
You can be really sweet...
1188
01:16:53,820 --> 01:16:56,015
...when you put your mind to it.
1189
01:16:56,189 --> 01:16:57,850
Cheers.
1190
01:17:03,096 --> 01:17:05,997
Listen, I can see what you're saying.
1191
01:17:06,166 --> 01:17:09,499
I can see why
you're inviting me to live with you.
1192
01:17:09,669 --> 01:17:12,137
I can see that you're Ionely.
1193
01:17:12,305 --> 01:17:15,763
That you need looking after.
It's obvious.
1194
01:17:15,942 --> 01:17:19,878
You need someone
who would cater for your every whim.
1195
01:17:20,046 --> 01:17:21,980
Don't you?
1196
01:17:22,148 --> 01:17:23,638
I do.
1197
01:17:30,590 --> 01:17:33,718
Hello? Darling.
1198
01:17:33,893 --> 01:17:35,326
What?
1199
01:17:38,231 --> 01:17:39,823
Oh, is that so?
1200
01:17:39,999 --> 01:17:41,466
Are you?
1201
01:17:44,504 --> 01:17:46,495
I see.
1202
01:17:46,673 --> 01:17:48,368
Are you sure?
1203
01:17:48,541 --> 01:17:50,099
I see.
1204
01:17:50,810 --> 01:17:52,573
I got it.
1205
01:17:54,681 --> 01:17:57,707
I told you I got it. I understand.
1206
01:17:58,585 --> 01:18:00,143
Okay.
1207
01:18:00,954 --> 01:18:04,412
- Okay, I'll tell him.
- Tell me what?
1208
01:18:08,061 --> 01:18:11,497
- That she loves you.
- Is that so?
1209
01:18:11,664 --> 01:18:14,292
- What else did she say?
- Nothing.
1210
01:18:14,467 --> 01:18:15,695
- Nothing?
- Nothing.
1211
01:18:15,869 --> 01:18:19,396
Listen, for chrissake,
make up your mind.
1212
01:18:19,572 --> 01:18:23,906
I'm offering you something special.
Something very special.
1213
01:18:24,077 --> 01:18:27,843
We seal it with a handshake.
And she's nowhere.
1214
01:18:28,014 --> 01:18:31,745
We cut her out, you understand?
We cut her out of our lives.
1215
01:18:31,918 --> 01:18:34,113
Don't let her dominate you.
Be yourself.
1216
01:18:34,287 --> 01:18:36,983
- Be independent. Be free.
- Like you?
1217
01:18:37,157 --> 01:18:39,887
That's right. Be free like me.
1218
01:19:16,162 --> 01:19:20,189
I've always been attracted...
1219
01:19:20,366 --> 01:19:23,199
...to rich and powerful men.
1220
01:19:23,636 --> 01:19:26,503
Rich and powerful men
make all the girls quiver...
1221
01:19:26,673 --> 01:19:29,574
...like a jelly on a plate.
1222
01:19:29,742 --> 01:19:31,073
But you're not a girl.
1223
01:19:32,745 --> 01:19:37,011
Tickles the old cobblers, money.
1224
01:19:37,183 --> 01:19:41,279
- Girls don't have cobblers.
- You'd be surprised.
1225
01:19:46,359 --> 01:19:48,350
But you're not a girl.
1226
01:19:49,262 --> 01:19:51,423
I may be once.
1227
01:19:52,298 --> 01:19:54,766
Back in the good old days.
1228
01:19:56,436 --> 01:19:59,166
Maybe the good old days
are coming back.
1229
01:20:00,106 --> 01:20:02,131
Who knows?
1230
01:20:03,209 --> 01:20:04,972
Look...
1231
01:20:07,680 --> 01:20:10,672
I'd really like to see your bed.
1232
01:20:11,551 --> 01:20:15,078
I mean, let me be quite clear.
1233
01:20:15,255 --> 01:20:19,157
This looks a very nice bed indeed.
1234
01:20:20,093 --> 01:20:22,687
But yours is bigger.
1235
01:20:24,797 --> 01:20:28,358
- Can I take another look?
- Sure.
1236
01:20:30,570 --> 01:20:32,663
Is this how you do it?
1237
01:20:38,845 --> 01:20:40,870
Miraculous.
1238
01:20:51,724 --> 01:20:54,488
I could really get to like this.
1239
01:20:54,661 --> 01:20:59,826
Of course,
this is the marriage bed, isn't it?
1240
01:21:01,000 --> 01:21:03,696
Is this where she took
your virginity?
1241
01:21:03,870 --> 01:21:06,202
Is this where your wife
deflowered you?
1242
01:21:06,372 --> 01:21:09,034
Is this where you were deflowered?
1243
01:21:10,944 --> 01:21:12,912
It's a lovely bed.
1244
01:21:13,746 --> 01:21:16,806
So bouncy.
1245
01:21:22,522 --> 01:21:28,119
I'm so touched that you've
offered me a place in your heart.
1246
01:21:28,294 --> 01:21:30,660
In your life.
1247
01:21:30,830 --> 01:21:32,764
I'm touched.
1248
01:21:44,110 --> 01:21:46,203
Take your hand off me.
1249
01:21:48,614 --> 01:21:51,048
Take your hand off me.
1250
01:21:53,486 --> 01:21:56,250
Fuck off. Fuck off, you big poof!
1251
01:21:56,689 --> 01:22:00,090
Jesus. I come here
as an innocent bystander.
1252
01:22:00,259 --> 01:22:02,887
As a totally respectable individual.
1253
01:22:03,062 --> 01:22:06,657
A humble part-time hairdresser.
And you try to corrupt me.
1254
01:22:06,833 --> 01:22:09,734
You try to seduce me.
Do you know what you are?
1255
01:22:09,902 --> 01:22:10,926
You're a menace.
1256
01:22:11,104 --> 01:22:14,972
Also, you're a cunt.
1257
01:22:15,808 --> 01:22:19,676
Well, now you really are charming.
1258
01:22:19,846 --> 01:22:22,178
- Know who's gonna love this story?
- What story?
1259
01:22:22,348 --> 01:22:23,906
- This one. This one.
- Who?
1260
01:22:24,117 --> 01:22:25,482
- Maggie.
- Really?
1261
01:22:25,818 --> 01:22:27,945
By the way, she asked me
to tell you something.
1262
01:22:28,121 --> 01:22:29,952
- What?
- That she's coming back to you.
1263
01:22:30,523 --> 01:22:33,890
- She's on her way.
- She's coming back to me?
1264
01:22:34,093 --> 01:22:36,527
- That's what she told me.
- I don't want her.
1265
01:22:36,696 --> 01:22:39,494
Well, you've got her. She's all yours.
You're welcome to her.
1266
01:22:39,665 --> 01:22:43,999
She loves your money, baby.
That's the nub of it.
1267
01:22:44,904 --> 01:22:46,428
I don't want her.
1268
01:22:52,345 --> 01:22:54,745
- What are you doing with that coat?
- I'm taking it.
1269
01:22:54,947 --> 01:22:56,744
Tell Maggie I'll be in touch.
1270
01:22:56,916 --> 01:22:59,942
I want to have a drink with her.
Bring her up to date.
1271
01:23:02,121 --> 01:23:06,217
How do you like me in this coat?
Do you fancy me?
1272
01:23:10,029 --> 01:23:12,793
Goodbye, darling.
1273
01:23:17,336 --> 01:23:18,997
Wait a minute.
1274
01:23:20,239 --> 01:23:22,173
Yes? What?
1275
01:23:29,715 --> 01:23:31,615
Goodbye, darling.
1276
01:23:34,615 --> 01:23:38,615
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