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1
00:00:03,614 --> 00:00:06,083
Waffles in Warrior Pose.
2
00:00:06,183 --> 00:00:08,519
Both empowering,
3
00:00:08,619 --> 00:00:10,854
and delicious.
4
00:00:10,954 --> 00:00:13,490
What kind of millennial
hell is this?
5
00:00:13,590 --> 00:00:14,858
"Random Eating."
6
00:00:14,958 --> 00:00:16,703
We used to have this bit
called "Random Dancing,"
7
00:00:16,727 --> 00:00:18,495
but this is way more grown-up.
8
00:00:18,595 --> 00:00:20,431
Next, we have...
9
00:00:24,301 --> 00:00:27,371
"Lasagna in a Headstand."
10
00:00:27,471 --> 00:00:29,306
Make like you just
met a Hemsworth
11
00:00:29,406 --> 00:00:31,342
and get those legs in the air.
12
00:00:32,909 --> 00:00:35,379
Stop everything!
Guys, meet Trina.
13
00:00:35,479 --> 00:00:36,947
Hi.
14
00:00:37,047 --> 00:00:39,683
I'm collecting signatures
for a bill on climate change.
15
00:00:39,783 --> 00:00:41,118
Can I count on your support?
16
00:00:41,218 --> 00:00:42,619
Sure. I'd love to sign.
17
00:00:42,719 --> 00:00:44,155
Oh, aren't you cute?
18
00:00:44,255 --> 00:00:46,723
Sorry, sweetie, this
petition is for grown-ups.
19
00:00:46,823 --> 00:00:49,426
Sure, put grown-ups in
charge of climate change.
20
00:00:49,526 --> 00:00:51,662
So far, so good.
21
00:00:52,763 --> 00:00:54,641
Spencer, we're filming.
You can't just interrupt
22
00:00:54,665 --> 00:00:56,533
- while I'm working.
- Oh. What is the use
23
00:00:56,633 --> 00:00:59,970
of work when the
planet is on fire?
24
00:01:00,704 --> 00:01:03,240
Climate change is the
single greatest threat
25
00:01:03,340 --> 00:01:04,575
to our generation.
26
00:01:04,675 --> 00:01:06,743
I talk about it endlessly.
27
00:01:06,843 --> 00:01:09,746
All you talk about endlessly
are robots and marshmallows.
28
00:01:09,846 --> 00:01:11,682
He's just trying to
get Trina's number.
29
00:01:11,782 --> 00:01:13,617
Mm...
30
00:01:13,717 --> 00:01:16,353
Wait. Are you Carly Shay?
31
00:01:16,453 --> 00:01:17,854
I'm a huge fan.
32
00:01:17,954 --> 00:01:19,490
Aw. Thank you.
33
00:01:19,590 --> 00:01:21,392
Yeah, I'd love to
sign your petition.
34
00:01:23,660 --> 00:01:27,298
Aw. On second thought,
you keep it.
35
00:01:27,398 --> 00:01:28,865
You've been served.
36
00:01:28,965 --> 00:01:30,734
Big fan, though.
37
00:01:31,835 --> 00:01:34,438
Oh, my God. I'm being sued.
38
00:01:35,539 --> 00:01:37,708
But who is Lewbert Sline?
39
00:01:37,808 --> 00:01:41,745
Lewbert was our old
doorman and archnemesis.
40
00:01:41,845 --> 00:01:43,380
He quit after Carly
moved to Italy.
41
00:01:43,480 --> 00:01:44,748
Just up and left mysteriously.
42
00:01:47,184 --> 00:01:49,953
Why are you gasping? You
know all this already.
43
00:01:50,053 --> 00:01:53,056
I just realized her name
probably wasn't Trina.
44
00:02:25,889 --> 00:02:27,758
: Soda machine!
45
00:02:27,858 --> 00:02:29,993
Stole my diet root beer!
46
00:02:32,996 --> 00:02:35,599
These videos were called
"Messing With Lewbert."
47
00:02:35,699 --> 00:02:38,068
They were, like, a
perfectly innocent,
48
00:02:38,168 --> 00:02:40,304
just, like, little
pranking sketch.
49
00:02:44,641 --> 00:02:47,678
Oh. God,
we were adorable.
50
00:02:47,778 --> 00:02:50,814
And now he's suing me
for wrongful injury,
51
00:02:50,914 --> 00:02:55,419
emotional distress and
irreparable loss of wart.
52
00:02:55,519 --> 00:02:56,420
Can you believe this?
53
00:02:56,520 --> 00:02:58,522
Yes, I can.
54
00:02:58,622 --> 00:02:59,890
"Messing" with someone is like
55
00:02:59,990 --> 00:03:01,458
hiding your roommate's
phone charger
56
00:03:01,558 --> 00:03:02,918
because she takes
long-ass showers.
57
00:03:02,993 --> 00:03:05,329
- Wait, have you been...
- The point is
58
00:03:05,429 --> 00:03:07,331
y'all were nasty.
59
00:03:07,431 --> 00:03:08,932
You don't see how nasty he was
60
00:03:09,032 --> 00:03:10,867
in those sketches,
okay? He terrorized us.
61
00:03:10,967 --> 00:03:15,406
And he had this blood-curdling,
soul-piercing scream.
62
00:03:17,841 --> 00:03:19,310
That's my Lewbert.
63
00:03:19,410 --> 00:03:21,345
I do all of you guys, too.
64
00:03:21,445 --> 00:03:24,080
Carly, no judge would
ever side with Lewbert.
65
00:03:24,180 --> 00:03:25,180
He's the worst.
66
00:03:25,248 --> 00:03:26,417
You're right.
67
00:03:26,517 --> 00:03:29,052
But, just in case,
I have a plan.
68
00:03:29,152 --> 00:03:30,354
I'll apologize.
69
00:03:30,454 --> 00:03:32,222
I'll show some remorse
70
00:03:32,323 --> 00:03:34,625
and all this will go away.
71
00:03:34,725 --> 00:03:36,460
That may work when you
try all of the grapes
72
00:03:36,560 --> 00:03:37,761
at the supermarket, but...
73
00:03:37,861 --> 00:03:39,306
- Oh, no. Those are...
Carly,
74
00:03:39,330 --> 00:03:41,632
those are not free
samples. They are for sale.
75
00:03:43,967 --> 00:03:46,903
Guys, there's no way
Lewbert wins this case,
76
00:03:47,003 --> 00:03:48,483
and I would know, I
went to law school
77
00:03:48,572 --> 00:03:50,273
for three days.
78
00:03:50,374 --> 00:03:52,275
Every time you bring
up law school, I think,
79
00:03:52,376 --> 00:03:53,777
"He took someone's spot."
80
00:03:53,877 --> 00:03:56,780
If your apology doesn't
work, I'll represent you
81
00:03:56,880 --> 00:03:58,558
and get this case thrown
out in 15 minutes.
82
00:03:58,582 --> 00:04:02,353
Guaranteed. Ten, if I don't
get hammered the night before.
83
00:04:02,453 --> 00:04:03,854
So probably 15.
84
00:04:04,688 --> 00:04:05,989
Great. You all got this handled.
85
00:04:06,089 --> 00:04:07,524
I'll stay here and
watch Millicent.
86
00:04:07,624 --> 00:04:09,025
You're not gonna
come and support
87
00:04:09,125 --> 00:04:10,565
your best friend in
her hour of need?
88
00:04:10,627 --> 00:04:12,396
Carly, I'm Black. I
spend too much time
89
00:04:12,496 --> 00:04:15,031
at the courthouse, something
ends up being my fault.
90
00:04:20,471 --> 00:04:23,073
Millicent, do you want
to see my new sticker?
91
00:04:23,173 --> 00:04:24,307
Shh. Reading.
92
00:04:25,976 --> 00:04:27,878
Hey, Olive, your mom's here.
93
00:04:27,978 --> 00:04:29,513
Finally!
94
00:04:29,613 --> 00:04:32,949
I-I mean, aw, already?
95
00:04:34,150 --> 00:04:36,987
But we didn't check the
oil and bond futures yet.
96
00:04:37,087 --> 00:04:40,357
Let's save some fun
for next time. Bye.
97
00:04:44,428 --> 00:04:46,172
Do you ever feel like
you're more sophisticated
98
00:04:46,196 --> 00:04:47,731
than your friends?
99
00:04:47,831 --> 00:04:50,300
Of course you do, you're
friends with Carly.
100
00:04:51,101 --> 00:04:53,770
Well, she does call
them, "quesa-dill-as."
101
00:04:53,870 --> 00:04:55,772
Olive and I aren't vibing.
102
00:04:55,872 --> 00:04:57,608
She's still into
playing horsies.
103
00:04:57,708 --> 00:04:59,443
And I'm trying to bet on them.
104
00:04:59,543 --> 00:05:02,813
Well, it's normal for girls
to mature at different speeds.
105
00:05:02,913 --> 00:05:04,214
Look, take me.
106
00:05:04,314 --> 00:05:06,016
I was the last person
in my friend group
107
00:05:06,116 --> 00:05:08,084
to consider admissions fraud.
108
00:05:08,184 --> 00:05:09,453
Thanks, bestie.
109
00:05:09,553 --> 00:05:11,422
I love that word.
110
00:05:11,522 --> 00:05:14,157
The way you Gen-Zers just
use it all over the place.
111
00:05:14,257 --> 00:05:15,492
I mean, us Gen-Zers.
112
00:05:15,592 --> 00:05:16,960
I'm a Gen-Zer, right, bestie?
113
00:05:17,060 --> 00:05:18,829
You want me to say
you're a Gen-Zer?
114
00:05:18,929 --> 00:05:20,664
I'd like to hear
it out loud, yes.
115
00:05:25,335 --> 00:05:26,975
All right, Carly,
apologize and we're out.
116
00:05:27,070 --> 00:05:28,430
I can't stand being
around Lewbert.
117
00:05:28,472 --> 00:05:29,632
Yeah, he makes my skin crawl.
118
00:05:30,674 --> 00:05:32,308
His lack of hygiene,
119
00:05:32,409 --> 00:05:34,210
that awful, grating voice...
120
00:05:34,310 --> 00:05:36,379
Hello, Carly.
121
00:05:37,481 --> 00:05:38,715
So lovely to see you again.
122
00:05:38,815 --> 00:05:41,918
Lewbert? Is that really you?
123
00:05:42,018 --> 00:05:46,790
You look handsome,
but also approachable.
124
00:05:46,890 --> 00:05:48,525
You're like Paul Rudd.
125
00:05:48,625 --> 00:05:50,861
Very kind of you to say.
126
00:05:50,961 --> 00:05:54,097
I also want to say
that I'm really sorry
127
00:05:54,197 --> 00:05:56,399
for the way that we treated
you when we were kids.
128
00:05:56,500 --> 00:06:00,737
I-It was immature, and silly.
129
00:06:02,138 --> 00:06:03,840
Wow.
130
00:06:03,940 --> 00:06:06,109
I feel so much better.
131
00:06:06,209 --> 00:06:08,779
That was a great moment for us.
132
00:06:10,814 --> 00:06:12,315
Court is in session.
133
00:06:12,415 --> 00:06:15,418
I have in front of
me the civil suit
134
00:06:15,519 --> 00:06:17,454
of Sline v. Shay.
135
00:06:17,554 --> 00:06:20,757
Oh, um, Your Majesty...
136
00:06:23,527 --> 00:06:25,529
I have some good news.
137
00:06:25,629 --> 00:06:27,330
I apologized to Mr. Sline
138
00:06:27,430 --> 00:06:31,535
in a very sincere
and respectful way.
139
00:06:31,635 --> 00:06:33,504
So, what do you say, Lewbie?
140
00:06:33,604 --> 00:06:35,438
You want to forget
about this whole thing?
141
00:06:35,539 --> 00:06:37,007
I don't think so, Carly.
142
00:06:37,107 --> 00:06:39,543
Your Honor, I'm seeking
damages for the way Ms. Shay
143
00:06:39,643 --> 00:06:42,078
tortured me and left me
permanently disfigured.
144
00:06:42,178 --> 00:06:45,048
How are you disfigured?
You look fine.
145
00:06:45,148 --> 00:06:48,084
You could pass for a dad
in a Propecia commercial.
146
00:06:49,085 --> 00:06:50,320
Be that as it may,
147
00:06:50,420 --> 00:06:52,923
I've literally lost
the ability to smile.
148
00:06:53,023 --> 00:06:56,259
My once melodic voice is
now flat and lifeless.
149
00:06:56,359 --> 00:07:00,797
And, worst of all,
I lost... my wart.
150
00:07:01,865 --> 00:07:03,333
Spencer Shay for the defense!
151
00:07:03,433 --> 00:07:05,936
His "injuries" are
self-inflicted.
152
00:07:06,036 --> 00:07:09,005
He would work himself
up, and flail around
153
00:07:09,105 --> 00:07:12,208
like a bird with
another bird up its ass.
154
00:07:16,379 --> 00:07:19,750
Your Honor, this is exactly
why I'm suing Ms. Shay
155
00:07:19,850 --> 00:07:21,652
for one million dollars.
156
00:07:21,752 --> 00:07:23,954
- Oh, really?
157
00:07:24,054 --> 00:07:25,889
You're gonna ask for
a million dollars
158
00:07:25,989 --> 00:07:27,958
and not do the
Dr. Evil pinkie thing?
159
00:07:28,058 --> 00:07:29,492
God, I hate you, Lewbert!
160
00:07:30,260 --> 00:07:32,395
Spencer! A sidebar, if you will?
161
00:07:32,495 --> 00:07:36,166
I do not have one
million dollars.
162
00:07:37,167 --> 00:07:39,135
Ugh.
163
00:07:39,235 --> 00:07:41,872
: One
million dollars.
164
00:07:43,006 --> 00:07:44,808
We're gonna fight this.
165
00:07:44,908 --> 00:07:48,178
Lewbert, I will
see you in court!
166
00:07:48,278 --> 00:07:50,080
Carly, we're already in court.
167
00:07:50,180 --> 00:07:52,500
I know, but how many other
chances will I have to say that?
168
00:07:52,549 --> 00:07:54,885
Several. We did a lot
of messed-up stuff
169
00:07:54,985 --> 00:07:56,219
when we were kids.
170
00:08:03,560 --> 00:08:05,528
Carly, are you sure
Spencer can pull this off?
171
00:08:05,629 --> 00:08:07,363
Objection! Move to strike.
172
00:08:07,463 --> 00:08:10,300
Freddie's annoying
negative opinion.
173
00:08:10,400 --> 00:08:12,135
The trial hasn't
even started yet.
174
00:08:12,235 --> 00:08:14,404
I'll allow it.
175
00:08:17,608 --> 00:08:19,109
Hello, Your Honor.
176
00:08:19,209 --> 00:08:21,477
I stand before you, ready
to establish mens rea.
177
00:08:21,578 --> 00:08:23,413
Objection! Mens rea?
178
00:08:23,513 --> 00:08:26,149
Isn't that the dating
app for famous people?
179
00:08:26,249 --> 00:08:28,318
No. That's Raya.
180
00:08:28,418 --> 00:08:30,787
I would know.
181
00:08:31,855 --> 00:08:33,523
Sustained.
182
00:08:34,658 --> 00:08:35,992
"Mens rea" is a legal term
183
00:08:36,092 --> 00:08:37,994
that means "intent
of wrong-doing."
184
00:08:38,094 --> 00:08:41,031
After I left the Bushwell, I
put myself through law school,
185
00:08:41,131 --> 00:08:43,499
and now I have a successful
personal injury firm
186
00:08:43,600 --> 00:08:45,936
called, "Sue With Lew."
187
00:08:46,703 --> 00:08:49,539
I call to the stand
Fredward Benson!
188
00:08:51,074 --> 00:08:52,743
I'm gonna bury him.
189
00:08:52,843 --> 00:08:54,353
This is gonna be the
best day of my life.
190
00:08:54,377 --> 00:08:57,914
You really need to get out
more, but go get 'em, tiger!
191
00:09:01,752 --> 00:09:03,596
I'm so glad you
suggested this spa day.
192
00:09:03,620 --> 00:09:05,789
I'm already feeling better
about dumping Olive.
193
00:09:07,090 --> 00:09:08,291
You dumped Olive?
194
00:09:09,292 --> 00:09:12,128
Faster than a couple that
got engaged on The Bachelor.
195
00:09:13,096 --> 00:09:14,865
I need someone older
who I vibe with.
196
00:09:14,965 --> 00:09:16,833
And I'm loving these vibes.
197
00:09:16,933 --> 00:09:18,501
And you called me bestie, so...
198
00:09:18,601 --> 00:09:20,671
Yeah, everyone
uses that term now.
199
00:09:20,771 --> 00:09:22,572
My bank's Twitter
calls me bestie.
200
00:09:23,573 --> 00:09:26,376
Oh. Okay.
201
00:09:26,476 --> 00:09:28,511
It's 'cause I was
having so much fun,
202
00:09:28,611 --> 00:09:31,181
and my face is
feeling so exfoliated.
203
00:09:32,683 --> 00:09:35,185
Does that mean we
aren't besties?
204
00:09:36,552 --> 00:09:39,255
Uh... of course we are!
205
00:09:39,355 --> 00:09:40,757
I'm just playing
with you, bestie!
206
00:09:40,857 --> 00:09:42,693
Ah, you got me, bestie!
207
00:09:42,793 --> 00:09:44,961
I love fake-outs.
So mature of us.
208
00:09:45,061 --> 00:09:48,932
Or "ma-ture." Adults
love to hit that T hard.
209
00:09:52,368 --> 00:09:57,107
Muffins? Well!
Don't mind if I do.
210
00:10:00,076 --> 00:10:02,378
Pretty horrific,
wouldn't you say?
211
00:10:02,478 --> 00:10:04,014
No, I wouldn't.
212
00:10:04,114 --> 00:10:06,149
- And none of it was...
- Your idea?
213
00:10:06,249 --> 00:10:07,550
Oh, I know, sweet Freddie.
214
00:10:07,650 --> 00:10:08,861
After all, whose
name is on the show?
215
00:10:08,885 --> 00:10:10,754
Carly.
But that's not...
216
00:10:10,854 --> 00:10:14,424
Your fault. Of
course not, I agree.
217
00:10:14,524 --> 00:10:15,926
Why wasn't it "WeCarly"?
218
00:10:16,026 --> 00:10:17,527
We actually did discuss it,
219
00:10:17,627 --> 00:10:18,995
but apparently it tested poorly.
220
00:10:19,095 --> 00:10:20,330
With who?
221
00:10:20,430 --> 00:10:21,430
Carly.
222
00:10:21,464 --> 00:10:24,067
It ain't called the "We-ternet."
223
00:10:24,167 --> 00:10:25,802
And isn't it true
you had a deep,
224
00:10:25,902 --> 00:10:28,038
unrequited love for Carly?
225
00:10:28,138 --> 00:10:29,973
Hey, it was
occasionally requited.
226
00:10:30,073 --> 00:10:32,108
Like when I threw myself
in front of a taco truck
227
00:10:32,208 --> 00:10:33,109
to save her.
228
00:10:33,209 --> 00:10:35,145
So only when you're hurt.
229
00:10:35,245 --> 00:10:37,613
Sounds less like
love and more like pity.
230
00:10:37,714 --> 00:10:41,117
Well, if you're gonna
go off of how it sounds,
231
00:10:41,217 --> 00:10:43,553
and looks, and is
232
00:10:43,653 --> 00:10:45,021
then yes.
233
00:10:45,121 --> 00:10:47,690
And now aren't you
back where you started?
234
00:10:47,791 --> 00:10:50,060
Producing iCarly,
doing her bidding,
235
00:10:50,160 --> 00:10:53,229
even entering into
a fake relationship,
236
00:10:53,329 --> 00:10:55,531
all for whose benefit?
237
00:10:55,631 --> 00:10:56,867
Carly.
238
00:10:57,633 --> 00:10:59,803
Oh, God.
239
00:10:59,903 --> 00:11:01,938
What has become of me?
240
00:11:02,705 --> 00:11:04,174
Who am I?
241
00:11:04,274 --> 00:11:05,942
No further questions,
Your Honor.
242
00:11:06,042 --> 00:11:08,611
Spencer! You gotta do something.
243
00:11:08,711 --> 00:11:10,480
Get Freddie back on our side.
244
00:11:10,580 --> 00:11:14,717
Your Honor, permission to wrap
the witness in a warm hug.
245
00:11:15,786 --> 00:11:19,222
Your Honor, I've got a
slew of other witnesses,
246
00:11:19,322 --> 00:11:23,126
all who will attest to
Carly's horrific ways.
247
00:11:27,563 --> 00:11:31,401
He got Guppy? What bad things
is he gonna say about us?
248
00:11:31,501 --> 00:11:33,336
He's sweet. Hi, Guppy!
249
00:11:33,436 --> 00:11:34,971
Happy birthday!
250
00:11:35,071 --> 00:11:36,106
Ah!
251
00:11:36,206 --> 00:11:39,075
Don't look at her, Mr. Gibson.
252
00:11:39,175 --> 00:11:41,812
I called you here
because you were witness
253
00:11:41,912 --> 00:11:45,281
to the pain and suffering
inflicted by Carly Shay
254
00:11:45,381 --> 00:11:46,682
on your brother, Gibby.
255
00:11:46,783 --> 00:11:48,384
Gibby!
256
00:11:48,484 --> 00:11:52,388
Well, Gibby wanted to do
those stunts most of the time.
257
00:11:52,488 --> 00:11:54,024
Uh-huh! Most of the time,
258
00:11:54,124 --> 00:11:57,627
which means some of the time
he didn't want to do them.
259
00:11:57,727 --> 00:11:59,595
Let the record show
some of the time
260
00:11:59,695 --> 00:12:01,297
he didn't wanna do them!
261
00:12:03,233 --> 00:12:05,501
I liked it better when I
just said happy birthday.
262
00:12:05,601 --> 00:12:08,204
Is it anyone's birthday?
263
00:12:10,907 --> 00:12:12,742
Happy birthday!
264
00:12:15,445 --> 00:12:18,114
I call to the stand
model Bushwell tenant,
265
00:12:18,214 --> 00:12:21,217
and just the cutest little
angel you've ever seen,
266
00:12:21,317 --> 00:12:23,219
Chuck Chambers!
267
00:12:23,319 --> 00:12:25,321
No. No! No.
268
00:12:25,421 --> 00:12:29,292
What's in the box?
What's in the box?!
269
00:12:30,693 --> 00:12:31,895
Tell us why you're here today.
270
00:12:31,995 --> 00:12:33,729
To state that the Shay siblings
271
00:12:33,830 --> 00:12:35,598
are evil incarnate.
272
00:12:36,566 --> 00:12:39,870
Carly played mind games with
me when she was my tutor.
273
00:12:39,970 --> 00:12:43,673
And Spencer, he
locked me in a cage.
274
00:12:43,773 --> 00:12:46,142
He squirted me with
suspicious liquid,
275
00:12:46,242 --> 00:12:49,745
and once, he threw
a cupcake at me.
276
00:12:49,846 --> 00:12:53,249
You liar! You did
all that stuff to me!
277
00:12:53,349 --> 00:12:54,817
Spencer! Get it together.
278
00:12:54,918 --> 00:12:56,362
He brought Chuck here to
throw you off your game.
279
00:12:56,386 --> 00:12:57,720
Oh, you're right.
280
00:12:57,820 --> 00:12:59,398
Just breathe, Spencey.
Take a sip of water.
281
00:12:59,422 --> 00:13:00,656
You wish it was water.
282
00:13:02,025 --> 00:13:03,994
Come here, you little demon elf!
283
00:13:04,094 --> 00:13:06,196
Order, order!
284
00:13:06,296 --> 00:13:07,730
Stop that!
285
00:13:07,830 --> 00:13:08,830
Get him out of here!
286
00:13:08,899 --> 00:13:10,033
You want the truth?
287
00:13:10,133 --> 00:13:12,602
You can't handle the truth!
288
00:13:12,702 --> 00:13:14,770
Avenge me, Carly!
289
00:13:16,772 --> 00:13:21,344
Um, Your Excellency
290
00:13:22,578 --> 00:13:24,314
in light of...
291
00:13:24,414 --> 00:13:26,249
Well, you saw it...
292
00:13:26,349 --> 00:13:30,820
I hereby nominate myself
to represent myself.
293
00:13:31,587 --> 00:13:32,889
Can I do that?
294
00:13:32,989 --> 00:13:35,125
Only if you grab me
one of those cupcakes.
295
00:13:39,629 --> 00:13:41,064
Carter, let's hurry.
296
00:13:41,164 --> 00:13:42,508
If we're late, they'll seat
us at a communal table,
297
00:13:42,532 --> 00:13:44,400
and I'm not sitting
next to a paralegal
298
00:13:44,500 --> 00:13:45,835
who had a bad day.
299
00:13:45,936 --> 00:13:49,139
Or... we could always
just stay here.
300
00:13:49,239 --> 00:13:50,473
Oh.
301
00:13:50,573 --> 00:13:52,408
Hey, bestie!
302
00:13:52,508 --> 00:13:55,511
Um... hey, Millicent.
303
00:13:55,611 --> 00:13:56,779
Now's not a good time.
304
00:13:56,879 --> 00:13:58,514
We're actually about
to go to dinner.
305
00:13:58,614 --> 00:14:00,283
Hey, little mama. I'm Carter.
306
00:14:00,383 --> 00:14:03,453
I'm not your mother,
Carter. I'm Harper's bestie.
307
00:14:04,320 --> 00:14:06,589
Wait. You guys are
best friends? Cool.
308
00:14:06,689 --> 00:14:08,458
So are you really
young, or really short?
309
00:14:08,558 --> 00:14:10,593
No judgment either way.
310
00:14:10,693 --> 00:14:14,297
So we're gonna go, but you
can stay as long as you like.
311
00:14:14,397 --> 00:14:17,934
Hold up. I got some
questions for this one.
312
00:14:18,034 --> 00:14:20,003
Where were you born?
What's your credit score?
313
00:14:20,103 --> 00:14:22,038
Why are you not wearing socks?
314
00:14:22,138 --> 00:14:25,308
You're not going on a boat.
Are you going on a boat?
315
00:14:25,408 --> 00:14:28,478
Um... I should go.
316
00:14:28,578 --> 00:14:30,458
I think you need to put
your bestie in time-out.
317
00:14:30,546 --> 00:14:33,883
No, wait. You have such
great bone structure, please.
318
00:14:34,784 --> 00:14:36,786
His loss, bestie.
319
00:14:36,886 --> 00:14:39,255
Now, let's hang out forever.
320
00:14:43,526 --> 00:14:44,961
So what's your plan?
321
00:14:45,061 --> 00:14:47,663
I have called up the one
person who hates Lewbert
322
00:14:47,763 --> 00:14:49,199
as much as we do.
323
00:14:51,434 --> 00:14:54,904
I'm going to turn that
doorman into a doormat.
324
00:14:55,005 --> 00:14:55,905
Nailed it.
325
00:14:57,673 --> 00:15:00,476
Lewbert was a horrible menace
to everyone in the building.
326
00:15:00,576 --> 00:15:04,047
He turned the Bushwell
into the Bush hell.
327
00:15:04,147 --> 00:15:05,948
Nailed it again,
Benson.
328
00:15:06,949 --> 00:15:09,652
Wow, Mrs. Benson, thank you
329
00:15:09,752 --> 00:15:11,954
for that case-shattering
testimony.
330
00:15:12,055 --> 00:15:15,758
Lewbert, the witness
is all yours.
331
00:15:15,858 --> 00:15:19,429
She was once
mine, wasn't she?
332
00:15:20,430 --> 00:15:22,032
Hello, Marissa.
333
00:15:22,132 --> 00:15:24,967
Seeing you almost makes
me want to smile again.
334
00:15:25,068 --> 00:15:27,737
But, sadly, I was
robbed of that ability
335
00:15:27,837 --> 00:15:29,972
by one Ms. Carly Shay.
336
00:15:30,073 --> 00:15:32,875
Can it, Lewb. I'm
not falling for it.
337
00:15:32,975 --> 00:15:34,644
But I fell for you.
338
00:15:34,744 --> 00:15:36,179
You nursed me back to health
339
00:15:36,279 --> 00:15:38,681
after Carly's exploding
muffin basket attack.
340
00:15:38,781 --> 00:15:40,916
You put cream on my...
341
00:15:41,017 --> 00:15:42,685
Oh, I can't even say it.
342
00:15:42,785 --> 00:15:43,819
Your wart.
343
00:15:45,688 --> 00:15:47,557
I can still smell your perfume.
344
00:15:47,657 --> 00:15:51,727
And you never forget the
scent of your first love.
345
00:15:52,362 --> 00:15:53,863
Permission to kiss the witness.
346
00:15:53,963 --> 00:15:55,831
Permission freaking granted.
347
00:15:57,867 --> 00:16:00,170
Objection!
348
00:16:02,338 --> 00:16:05,341
Your Honor, are you gonna
let this just happen
349
00:16:05,441 --> 00:16:06,342
in your courtroom?
350
00:16:06,442 --> 00:16:07,577
Yeah.
351
00:16:07,677 --> 00:16:09,912
I am strangely into it.
352
00:16:10,780 --> 00:16:12,014
Ugh...
353
00:16:12,115 --> 00:16:14,550
Mrs. Benson was our last hope.
354
00:16:14,650 --> 00:16:16,419
We're screwed.
355
00:16:16,519 --> 00:16:20,956
Your Honor, I no longer
want to sue Ms. Carly Shay
356
00:16:21,057 --> 00:16:22,225
for one million dollars.
357
00:16:22,325 --> 00:16:24,894
He didn't do the
pinky thing again!
358
00:16:24,994 --> 00:16:26,962
Thank God. He's
dropping the case.
359
00:16:27,063 --> 00:16:29,031
Wrong
again, Carlificent!
360
00:16:29,132 --> 00:16:30,433
I just want more.
361
00:16:30,533 --> 00:16:33,569
I want the money and
ownership of iCarly.
362
00:16:34,937 --> 00:16:36,839
What? You can't
take that from me.
363
00:16:36,939 --> 00:16:41,411
But you can take as much of me
as you want, you greedy bastard.
364
00:16:55,625 --> 00:16:57,427
This is really it.
Lewbert Sline is going
365
00:16:57,527 --> 00:16:59,595
to destroy my life.
366
00:16:59,695 --> 00:17:01,097
This is the end of iCarly.
367
00:17:03,799 --> 00:17:06,702
Freddie, Lewbert smiled.
368
00:17:07,770 --> 00:17:09,172
I think I know how to win this.
369
00:17:12,108 --> 00:17:14,210
Your Grace...
370
00:17:15,378 --> 00:17:17,213
I, Carly Shay,
371
00:17:17,313 --> 00:17:19,682
call myself, Carly Shay,
372
00:17:19,782 --> 00:17:21,083
to the stand.
373
00:17:21,184 --> 00:17:24,154
If I may be permitted
this rare privilege.
374
00:17:24,254 --> 00:17:27,089
Dear, well, that literally
happens all the time.
375
00:17:27,190 --> 00:17:29,925
Well, it's new to me, so
I think it's exciting.
376
00:17:32,928 --> 00:17:36,566
Are you enjoying your adult
meal of cauliflower crust pizza
377
00:17:36,666 --> 00:17:39,802
with cashew cheese
and tofu pepperoni?
378
00:17:39,902 --> 00:17:41,937
You can't just call
things other things
379
00:17:42,037 --> 00:17:44,174
and pretend they
actually taste good.
380
00:17:44,274 --> 00:17:47,410
So, thanks for taking me
to your lawyer's office
381
00:17:47,510 --> 00:17:48,778
so I can make a living will.
382
00:17:48,878 --> 00:17:51,947
It was very fun, and
not at all depressing.
383
00:17:52,615 --> 00:17:54,083
Your life seems like
so much more fun
384
00:17:54,184 --> 00:17:56,186
- when I see you with Carly.
- Oh, at our age,
385
00:17:56,286 --> 00:17:58,721
we're just riding
high on supplements.
386
00:17:59,522 --> 00:18:01,023
Oh, well, I'm out.
387
00:18:01,123 --> 00:18:02,692
Carly's getting killed in trial,
388
00:18:02,792 --> 00:18:04,672
and I gotta risk it all
to support her in court.
389
00:18:04,727 --> 00:18:07,330
- You got our pizza?
- Huh?
390
00:18:07,430 --> 00:18:09,999
I got spa day, you get this.
391
00:18:10,099 --> 00:18:11,734
That's what adult besties do.
392
00:18:11,834 --> 00:18:14,370
And you're my adult
bestie, right?
393
00:18:14,470 --> 00:18:18,341
Yes, sure am, and I
definitely have the money.
394
00:18:18,441 --> 00:18:21,977
Ha!
395
00:18:22,077 --> 00:18:25,948
Okay, well, love you, mean
it. Bye, bestie.
396
00:18:34,257 --> 00:18:35,558
Oh, hello, Millicent.
397
00:18:35,658 --> 00:18:37,126
Fancy meeting you here.
398
00:18:37,227 --> 00:18:38,961
Olive, I was wrong.
399
00:18:39,061 --> 00:18:40,463
Grown-up stuff is not fun.
400
00:18:40,563 --> 00:18:43,699
They spend all their time
getting stuff reappraised.
401
00:18:45,067 --> 00:18:47,903
I'm sorry, Olive. I
should've been your bestie.
402
00:18:48,003 --> 00:18:49,439
Instead, I was your worstie.
403
00:18:49,539 --> 00:18:50,606
I forgive you.
404
00:18:50,706 --> 00:18:52,675
But, hey, who's gonna pay
405
00:18:52,775 --> 00:18:55,110
- for this nasty pizza?
- Nobody.
406
00:18:55,211 --> 00:18:57,012
Kids dine and dash.
407
00:18:57,112 --> 00:18:58,648
Let's go, bestie.
408
00:19:00,550 --> 00:19:02,218
Dash, Olive, dash!
409
00:19:04,119 --> 00:19:09,225
Wow, three hours of
all my wrongdoings.
410
00:19:10,260 --> 00:19:11,260
You want to take a break?
411
00:19:11,327 --> 00:19:14,564
Mm. I've got stamina.
412
00:19:14,664 --> 00:19:15,698
Just ask Marissa.
413
00:19:15,798 --> 00:19:17,933
I was perpetually exhausted.
414
00:19:18,033 --> 00:19:20,703
I am going to set
myself on fire.
415
00:19:22,438 --> 00:19:26,108
Is there anything you'd
like to say for yourself?
416
00:19:26,208 --> 00:19:30,780
Yes. I want to say thank you.
417
00:19:30,880 --> 00:19:34,049
Objection! I...
418
00:19:34,149 --> 00:19:35,518
Huh?
419
00:19:35,618 --> 00:19:38,554
Do you remember when you sneezed
into Spencer's open mouth
420
00:19:38,654 --> 00:19:40,290
- and got him sick?
- Ooh, I do!
421
00:19:40,390 --> 00:19:43,759
It tasted like seaweed
and dirty kitchen sponge.
422
00:19:43,859 --> 00:19:45,227
That was an accident.
423
00:19:45,328 --> 00:19:48,230
But that accident
led to so much more.
424
00:19:48,331 --> 00:19:50,666
After Spencer got sick,
he couldn't take me
425
00:19:50,766 --> 00:19:52,286
to the Air Force
Father-Daughter Dance,
426
00:19:52,368 --> 00:19:55,137
so my dad came from Italy
and he took me instead.
427
00:19:55,237 --> 00:19:58,974
Right after she said
"no" to me taking her.
428
00:19:59,074 --> 00:20:00,443
I'm fine.
429
00:20:00,543 --> 00:20:03,479
I went back with him to
Italy, where I fell in love
430
00:20:03,579 --> 00:20:05,047
with gelato.
431
00:20:05,147 --> 00:20:07,347
And then, when I came back
here, Skybucks was trying out
432
00:20:07,417 --> 00:20:09,552
these new gelato-infused lattes.
433
00:20:09,652 --> 00:20:11,521
Oh. "Ge-lattes."
434
00:20:11,621 --> 00:20:12,922
We melted ice cream into coffee
435
00:20:13,022 --> 00:20:15,691
and charged people
$12. Allegedly.
436
00:20:16,926 --> 00:20:19,895
And that's where I met Harper.
437
00:20:19,995 --> 00:20:21,964
I love who I am today.
438
00:20:22,064 --> 00:20:24,233
So, win or lose this case,
439
00:20:24,334 --> 00:20:26,268
no one can take
that away from me.
440
00:20:26,369 --> 00:20:32,575
My life is so much
better now, thanks
441
00:20:32,675 --> 00:20:34,910
to you.
442
00:20:36,946 --> 00:20:40,115
Your life is better?
443
00:20:40,215 --> 00:20:42,452
: No!
444
00:20:44,454 --> 00:20:46,922
Are you kidding me?
445
00:20:47,022 --> 00:20:48,524
Her life is better?
446
00:20:48,624 --> 00:20:52,628
Three
years of law school
447
00:20:52,728 --> 00:20:55,398
and student loans
448
00:20:55,498 --> 00:21:00,670
and selling my hair like
Fantine from Les Mis.
449
00:21:02,372 --> 00:21:05,508
Wait. Did you go to law
school just to get back at me?
450
00:21:05,608 --> 00:21:07,009
Of course I did!
451
00:21:07,109 --> 00:21:11,414
And now you thanking me!
452
00:21:19,889 --> 00:21:22,425
Oh, my God! The wart!
453
00:21:22,525 --> 00:21:25,227
- I need the name of that concealer.
- Same.
454
00:21:27,329 --> 00:21:28,964
Oh!
455
00:21:29,732 --> 00:21:31,233
Oh!
456
00:21:31,333 --> 00:21:32,702
Oof!
457
00:21:32,802 --> 00:21:34,804
No!
458
00:21:34,904 --> 00:21:36,672
Not again! Ugh!
459
00:21:43,245 --> 00:21:46,382
You see? This is what
I was talking about.
460
00:21:46,482 --> 00:21:51,421
He's unhinged, untrustworthy,
and clearly unwell.
461
00:21:51,521 --> 00:21:53,756
I move to dismiss.
462
00:21:53,856 --> 00:21:57,126
- Yes!
463
00:21:59,028 --> 00:22:02,632
No, that's not how court works.
464
00:22:02,732 --> 00:22:04,967
Why? He was faking everything.
465
00:22:05,067 --> 00:22:08,003
This man is guilty of
being shrill and repulsive,
466
00:22:08,103 --> 00:22:10,339
but you tormented him.
467
00:22:10,440 --> 00:22:11,607
I'm ruling in his favor.
468
00:22:11,707 --> 00:22:13,509
So Lewbert gets my show?
469
00:22:13,609 --> 00:22:16,011
That's also not how court works.
470
00:22:16,111 --> 00:22:18,180
Have you heard of
the First Amendment?
471
00:22:18,280 --> 00:22:21,451
You can't stop someone from
making an okay web show.
472
00:22:21,551 --> 00:22:24,153
Well, it's not for
you, Your Honor.
473
00:22:27,890 --> 00:22:30,693
Your actions have
consequences, Ms. Shay.
474
00:22:30,793 --> 00:22:34,430
I'm awarding Mr. Sline $250,000
475
00:22:34,530 --> 00:22:35,965
for pain and suffering.
476
00:22:37,900 --> 00:22:39,935
You can cheer now.
477
00:22:42,838 --> 00:22:45,608
: Yay. What a victory.
478
00:22:48,511 --> 00:22:50,646
To Carly, for putting
Lewbert in his place.
479
00:22:50,746 --> 00:22:54,950
And to Spencer, for
paying that settlement.
480
00:22:56,752 --> 00:22:58,320
What are brothers for?
481
00:22:58,420 --> 00:23:00,590
Sure, I won't be able to
get that animatronic giraffe
482
00:23:00,690 --> 00:23:03,158
that chews my salad for me.
483
00:23:03,258 --> 00:23:05,427
Just kidding, I'm getting
it. I'm really rich, guys.
484
00:23:06,496 --> 00:23:08,498
How'd you know your speech
was gonna crack Lewbert?
485
00:23:08,598 --> 00:23:11,133
'Cause he said he lost
his ability to smile,
486
00:23:11,233 --> 00:23:12,835
but then he smiled
when he thought
487
00:23:12,935 --> 00:23:14,637
I was gonna lose everything.
488
00:23:14,737 --> 00:23:15,805
I knew he was faking it.
489
00:23:15,905 --> 00:23:17,507
You know who isn't faking it?
490
00:23:17,607 --> 00:23:20,976
My mom. I really
regret sharing a wall.
491
00:23:21,811 --> 00:23:24,013
- Get it, Grandma B.
- Mm. Uh-uh.
492
00:23:24,113 --> 00:23:25,481
Silver lining to the trial.
493
00:23:25,581 --> 00:23:27,917
Chuck and I made up. He
even got me another box
494
00:23:28,017 --> 00:23:29,852
of cupcakes as a peace offering.
495
00:23:29,952 --> 00:23:31,487
- Mm...
- No.
496
00:23:31,587 --> 00:23:32,988
Uh, people do change...
497
00:23:33,656 --> 00:23:35,390
Oh!
498
00:23:38,594 --> 00:23:40,596
Deliciously played, Chuck.
499
00:23:40,696 --> 00:23:41,964
Deliciously played.
500
00:24:11,326 --> 00:24:13,028
Ooh!
501
00:24:13,128 --> 00:24:15,531
He hates these cans.
35480
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