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1
00:00:03,699 --> 00:00:04,047
.
2
00:00:04,091 --> 00:00:06,702
- Yet again we're seeing
record-high temperatures
3
00:00:06,745 --> 00:00:08,486
here in the Southland,
Mayor Bremer.
4
00:00:08,530 --> 00:00:11,750
Is it global warming
or God punishing Hollywood
5
00:00:11,794 --> 00:00:13,491
for its many sins?
6
00:00:13,535 --> 00:00:17,147
- Andrea, this heat wave
is putting a lot of stress
7
00:00:17,191 --> 00:00:18,975
on the electrical grid.
8
00:00:19,019 --> 00:00:20,542
We're all suffering.
9
00:00:20,585 --> 00:00:25,460
Uh, but we all--we all have
to do our, uh--our part,
10
00:00:25,503 --> 00:00:26,809
you know,
to conserve energy.
11
00:00:26,852 --> 00:00:30,856
Even--even here
at--at City Hall, we are--
12
00:00:30,900 --> 00:00:32,510
Jayden.
[clears throat]
13
00:00:32,554 --> 00:00:36,862
Sorry. Well, we're turning
the AC off, uh...
14
00:00:36,906 --> 00:00:39,691
during peak hours
and rolling blackouts have--
15
00:00:39,735 --> 00:00:42,216
- It's too hot in there.
- The mayor is--
16
00:00:42,259 --> 00:00:46,307
- Yeah, rolling blackouts
have--have happened.
17
00:00:46,350 --> 00:00:48,091
[indistinct shouting]
18
00:00:48,135 --> 00:00:50,615
Anyway, do your part.
Stay cool, L.A.
19
00:00:50,659 --> 00:00:53,227
[bright music]
20
00:00:53,270 --> 00:00:59,363
♪
21
00:00:59,407 --> 00:01:01,757
- Thank you in advance
for your patience.
22
00:01:01,800 --> 00:01:05,195
The city's free cooling center
will be open soon.
23
00:01:05,239 --> 00:01:07,850
- The website
said 10:00 to 6:00.
24
00:01:07,893 --> 00:01:09,765
- What I'm hearing
is the website works.
25
00:01:09,808 --> 00:01:12,550
But we did have a little
problem with our vendor.
26
00:01:12,594 --> 00:01:14,770
The tent we ordered
is currently being used
27
00:01:14,813 --> 00:01:16,728
at a For Your Consideration
event
28
00:01:16,772 --> 00:01:18,556
for "The Marvelous
Mrs. Maisel."
29
00:01:18,600 --> 00:01:20,471
I promise we will get it back
30
00:01:20,515 --> 00:01:22,821
as soon as Tony Shalhoub
finishes the Q&A.
31
00:01:22,865 --> 00:01:24,388
Mr. Tomás?
32
00:01:24,432 --> 00:01:28,871
- Uh, we have lukewarm bags
of water that were once ice.
33
00:01:28,914 --> 00:01:31,308
- Bad news--Shalhoub is taking
questions about "Monk" now.
34
00:01:31,352 --> 00:01:34,006
- They did 125 episodes.
That could take all day.
35
00:01:34,050 --> 00:01:35,878
We got to get some kind
of structure down here now.
36
00:01:35,921 --> 00:01:38,576
- Okay, my guy's at the
warehouse, and he found a tent.
37
00:01:38,620 --> 00:01:40,100
It's from the last
"Real Housewives" reunion
38
00:01:40,143 --> 00:01:41,405
so it had some hair
and blood on it.
39
00:01:41,449 --> 00:01:42,798
- Hose it down, make it work.
- You got it.
40
00:01:42,841 --> 00:01:45,496
- All right,
a solution is in the works.
41
00:01:45,540 --> 00:01:49,979
- Mikaela, you've been online
dating for a very long time.
42
00:01:50,022 --> 00:01:51,546
- I got to the end of Hinge.
43
00:01:51,589 --> 00:01:54,418
- Well, I joined this
dating app, but--
44
00:01:54,462 --> 00:01:56,072
- You're getting
mixed messages?
45
00:01:56,116 --> 00:01:58,205
Like, you think you swiped on
a single guy, but it turns out
46
00:01:58,248 --> 00:01:59,945
it's a couple
looking for a third,
47
00:01:59,989 --> 00:02:01,860
and at first, you're like,
"No way," but then you're like,
48
00:02:01,904 --> 00:02:03,862
"I don't know, at least
everyone's being honest here."
49
00:02:03,906 --> 00:02:06,300
- No, actually,
it's been going great.
50
00:02:06,343 --> 00:02:07,779
- Awesome, me too.
51
00:02:07,823 --> 00:02:10,173
- Yeah, I've been matched
with so many lovely ladies.
52
00:02:10,217 --> 00:02:12,436
- Cool, cool,
being a man seems cool.
53
00:02:12,480 --> 00:02:14,786
- But flirting online
is just so different.
54
00:02:14,830 --> 00:02:18,007
All this texting
instead of meeting in person.
55
00:02:18,050 --> 00:02:20,749
- Yep, I prefer to meet women
the old-fashioned way.
56
00:02:20,792 --> 00:02:22,533
Selling candy bars
while they're eating outside
57
00:02:22,577 --> 00:02:24,448
at a restaurant and their
boyfriend's in the bathroom.
58
00:02:24,492 --> 00:02:26,885
- See, I'm trying to find
something real here,
59
00:02:26,929 --> 00:02:29,671
but I can't get
out of the small-talk stage.
60
00:02:29,714 --> 00:02:32,630
All these women keep asking me
to tell them what street
61
00:02:32,674 --> 00:02:35,242
I grew up on
and my mother's maiden name,
62
00:02:35,285 --> 00:02:36,634
which seems a little weird,
63
00:02:36,678 --> 00:02:39,071
but I just don't know
what's normal anymore.
64
00:02:39,115 --> 00:02:41,204
- Mm...
- Yeah, please.
65
00:02:41,248 --> 00:02:42,640
- Oh, honey.
66
00:02:42,684 --> 00:02:43,946
- Wait, we're allowed
to call him honey?
67
00:02:43,989 --> 00:02:45,165
- No. Absolutely not.
68
00:02:45,208 --> 00:02:46,905
- Sorry, it's just--
it's a scam.
69
00:02:46,949 --> 00:02:49,169
These are bots--
you're flirting with robots
70
00:02:49,212 --> 00:02:50,561
that are trying to steal
your identity.
71
00:02:50,605 --> 00:02:52,128
- Wait, there's nothing wrong
with robots, okay?
72
00:02:52,172 --> 00:02:54,043
I've had a thing for that
Star Tours droid for years.
73
00:02:54,086 --> 00:02:58,352
- Oh, no. I'd like to see a bot
with a figure like this.
74
00:02:58,395 --> 00:03:00,658
- That's probably just
a stolen image.
75
00:03:00,702 --> 00:03:04,271
Yeah, that's the lady from the
sexy senior asthma commercials.
76
00:03:04,314 --> 00:03:07,404
[pleasant music]
77
00:03:07,448 --> 00:03:11,103
- Now I have enough breath
to blow a kiss.
78
00:03:11,147 --> 00:03:13,323
[smooches]
79
00:03:13,367 --> 00:03:14,803
- Oh, Ventilify.
80
00:03:14,846 --> 00:03:16,631
I'm on that, but it's
to inhibit hair growth.
81
00:03:16,674 --> 00:03:19,634
- Oh, this profile's using
a pic of her, too.
82
00:03:19,677 --> 00:03:21,853
- No, no,
I've messaged with this gal.
83
00:03:21,897 --> 00:03:24,508
She's a flight attendant.
- No, that's the same actress.
84
00:03:24,552 --> 00:03:25,857
She also plays
a flight attendant
85
00:03:25,901 --> 00:03:27,511
in the Delta Air Lines
safety video.
86
00:03:27,555 --> 00:03:29,861
- So buckle up for fun
87
00:03:29,905 --> 00:03:34,431
because fun is
as good as on time.
88
00:03:34,475 --> 00:03:35,780
- Wait, I Googled her.
89
00:03:35,824 --> 00:03:37,695
Her name is Angelica Masters,
and she's
90
00:03:37,739 --> 00:03:40,872
on the Champagne Chestnut box
of L'Oréal hair dye.
91
00:03:40,916 --> 00:03:43,484
- So many of these fake
accounts use her pictures.
92
00:03:43,527 --> 00:03:45,268
I guess the algorithm
knows what it's doing.
93
00:03:45,312 --> 00:03:47,314
She's basically
a Chico's supermodel.
94
00:03:47,357 --> 00:03:48,706
- This is unacceptable.
95
00:03:48,750 --> 00:03:50,708
They're toying
with people's feelings.
96
00:03:50,752 --> 00:03:52,536
I thought an actual woman
wanted to know
97
00:03:52,580 --> 00:03:54,190
the name of my first pet!
98
00:03:54,234 --> 00:03:56,018
You know something?
99
00:03:56,061 --> 00:03:58,716
I'm in a position
to do something about this.
100
00:03:58,760 --> 00:04:01,153
And someone has to let
Angelica Masters know.
101
00:04:01,197 --> 00:04:02,633
- Are you sure, sir?
102
00:04:02,677 --> 00:04:04,069
We really should be dealing
with these blackouts.
103
00:04:04,113 --> 00:04:05,070
- Hey, Kathy.
- What?
104
00:04:05,114 --> 00:04:07,203
- Get--get Angelica Masters!
105
00:04:07,247 --> 00:04:08,552
- That was intense.
106
00:04:08,596 --> 00:04:10,293
How'd you stay
so calm back there?
107
00:04:10,337 --> 00:04:11,816
- Experience.
Faith in the process.
108
00:04:11,860 --> 00:04:13,514
I'm gonna duck into this
mini mart for a second.
109
00:04:13,557 --> 00:04:14,950
You want anything?
110
00:04:14,993 --> 00:04:16,430
- I'll go with you.
111
00:04:16,473 --> 00:04:18,040
- That's not what I asked.
Do you want anything?
112
00:04:18,083 --> 00:04:20,651
- I want to see the choices!
113
00:04:20,695 --> 00:04:23,350
- Looks like they got some
cool stuff in the back there.
114
00:04:23,393 --> 00:04:25,830
I'm seeing corn nuts,
washer fluid,
115
00:04:25,874 --> 00:04:28,485
fake Academy Awards for people
with common Western names.
116
00:04:28,529 --> 00:04:30,270
- No, I just want a cold drink.
117
00:04:30,313 --> 00:04:31,967
- Hey, Arpi.
118
00:04:32,010 --> 00:04:34,099
Four Ladybug Luck scratchers
coming up.
119
00:04:34,143 --> 00:04:37,102
- I think you're mistaking me
for another tiny Arpi.
120
00:04:37,146 --> 00:04:40,280
- Oh, you. I love that you
take time to joke.
121
00:04:40,323 --> 00:04:41,672
I think we'd be friends
122
00:04:41,716 --> 00:04:44,762
even if you didn't buy
lottery tickets every day.
123
00:04:44,806 --> 00:04:47,722
- Okay, fine.
Now you know my secret shame.
124
00:04:47,765 --> 00:04:49,637
- An emotional affair with
a convenience store clerk?
125
00:04:49,680 --> 00:04:51,769
- No.
It's the scratchers, okay?
126
00:04:51,813 --> 00:04:55,251
They're my thing.
These will pay for those.
127
00:04:55,295 --> 00:04:56,600
- Okay, see you tomorrow, Arpi!
128
00:04:56,644 --> 00:04:58,210
- I know they're
a waste of money
129
00:04:58,254 --> 00:04:59,821
and a regressive tax
on the poor
130
00:04:59,864 --> 00:05:02,302
but after a hellish morning
like we just had,
131
00:05:02,345 --> 00:05:03,433
I need a little win...
132
00:05:03,477 --> 00:05:05,522
or a loss--
it doesn't even matter.
133
00:05:05,566 --> 00:05:08,133
These keep me sane,
so stop judging me.
134
00:05:08,177 --> 00:05:10,875
- I'm not judging anyone.
Some people need vices to cope.
135
00:05:10,919 --> 00:05:12,355
- Oh, but you don't?
136
00:05:12,399 --> 00:05:14,226
- What can I say? Some of us
are just well adjusted.
137
00:05:14,270 --> 00:05:15,358
#BuiltDifferent.
138
00:05:15,402 --> 00:05:17,534
- [gasps, laughs]
139
00:05:17,578 --> 00:05:19,144
- Free ticket!
140
00:05:19,188 --> 00:05:20,798
- Are you at least
being smart about this?
141
00:05:20,842 --> 00:05:22,539
- What does that mean?
Scratchers are random.
142
00:05:22,583 --> 00:05:23,888
- Well, I read this article
143
00:05:23,932 --> 00:05:25,586
that there are ways
to game the system.
144
00:05:25,629 --> 00:05:27,675
You know, buy in bulk,
chat up store owners to see
145
00:05:27,718 --> 00:05:30,808
which locations are due to hit,
choose new games over old.
146
00:05:30,852 --> 00:05:34,421
- Well, shoot, I'm gonna have
to give those tricks a try.
147
00:05:34,464 --> 00:05:36,814
- Ooh, is that cold?
- Yeah, I just got it.
148
00:05:40,078 --> 00:05:42,124
- [laughs]
149
00:05:42,167 --> 00:05:43,604
- Coping mechanism.
150
00:05:43,647 --> 00:05:46,389
- Look, obviously, I get
why they use your picture.
151
00:05:46,433 --> 00:05:48,348
- Well, it's been going on
for a while.
152
00:05:48,391 --> 00:05:51,002
I appeal
to sex-positive seniors,
153
00:05:51,046 --> 00:05:55,746
senior-curious millennials,
and meme-loving incels.
154
00:05:55,790 --> 00:05:59,228
I just hate that my photo is
being used to catfish people
155
00:05:59,271 --> 00:06:00,664
and that the name
156
00:06:00,708 --> 00:06:03,450
of my favorite fish
now means something so dark.
157
00:06:03,493 --> 00:06:05,495
- Well, if you feel
that strongly,
158
00:06:05,539 --> 00:06:07,192
maybe we could team up.
159
00:06:07,236 --> 00:06:10,631
- Well, I happen to be in town
shooting a commercial
160
00:06:10,674 --> 00:06:12,241
for the new Depends thong.
161
00:06:12,284 --> 00:06:16,201
I suppose I could record
something later this week.
162
00:06:16,245 --> 00:06:17,333
- Oh, that's fantastic.
163
00:06:17,377 --> 00:06:18,856
Uh, I'll--I'll have
164
00:06:18,900 --> 00:06:21,642
my comms department
get in touch with your people.
165
00:06:21,685 --> 00:06:24,514
- Well, there is just one
issue.
166
00:06:24,558 --> 00:06:26,429
How do I know
that you're not a bot?
167
00:06:26,473 --> 00:06:28,562
- Maybe send me a bunch
of pictures
168
00:06:28,605 --> 00:06:30,825
and have me click
on all the stop signs.
169
00:06:30,868 --> 00:06:34,132
- Or we could meet in person.
170
00:06:34,176 --> 00:06:36,744
Do you eat dinner?
171
00:06:36,787 --> 00:06:40,312
- Every night, except when
I fall asleep on the couch.
172
00:06:40,356 --> 00:06:42,314
- Great, I'll see you tonight.
173
00:06:42,358 --> 00:06:43,577
I must say, though
174
00:06:43,620 --> 00:06:47,972
while I'm not a robot,
I am a machine...
175
00:06:48,016 --> 00:06:49,626
in bed.
176
00:06:56,459 --> 00:06:56,677
.
177
00:06:56,720 --> 00:06:59,201
- Morning.
[laughs]
178
00:06:59,244 --> 00:07:01,682
- Whoa, someone's
in a good mood.
179
00:07:01,725 --> 00:07:03,466
It's me.
I had breakfast churros.
180
00:07:03,510 --> 00:07:07,209
- Why did I wait so long
to date women my own age?
181
00:07:07,252 --> 00:07:08,471
- Oh, because you're rich, sir.
182
00:07:08,515 --> 00:07:12,127
- I had a fantastic night
with Angelica.
183
00:07:12,170 --> 00:07:13,998
You know, when you're
with someone your own age,
184
00:07:14,042 --> 00:07:16,740
you connect
in such a different way.
185
00:07:16,784 --> 00:07:18,481
- Like about wills and stuff?
186
00:07:18,525 --> 00:07:21,266
- Like about our favorite
books and music
187
00:07:21,310 --> 00:07:23,834
and how all other generations
are the worst.
188
00:07:23,878 --> 00:07:26,881
I'm telling you, I think this
could be something special.
189
00:07:26,924 --> 00:07:28,143
- Okay, so, just to summarize,
190
00:07:28,186 --> 00:07:29,623
you've been on an app
for one week.
191
00:07:29,666 --> 00:07:31,755
You got catfished using
a picture of an actress,
192
00:07:31,799 --> 00:07:34,149
but then you just met
that actress and took her out.
193
00:07:34,192 --> 00:07:35,716
- Where do you even take
a commercial queen?
194
00:07:35,759 --> 00:07:37,631
I mean, she's already twirled
through a field of daisies.
195
00:07:37,674 --> 00:07:41,112
- Actually, we never even left
the hotel room.
196
00:07:41,156 --> 00:07:42,723
- Are you gonna be a dad?
- Okay.
197
00:07:42,766 --> 00:07:46,117
Gross/congratulations, sir,
but the office is not the place
198
00:07:46,161 --> 00:07:47,554
to discuss
your one-night stand.
199
00:07:47,597 --> 00:07:49,904
- I think you mean
first-night stand.
200
00:07:49,947 --> 00:07:51,514
If this were a one-night stand,
201
00:07:51,558 --> 00:07:54,430
would we have been texting
all morning?
202
00:07:54,474 --> 00:07:57,694
- Ah, I don't really see
a we texting here.
203
00:07:57,738 --> 00:07:59,522
I see you triple-texting
204
00:07:59,566 --> 00:08:02,351
in exchange
for a thumbs-up reaction?
205
00:08:02,394 --> 00:08:04,875
- Yeah, so?
What's better than a thumbs-up?
206
00:08:04,919 --> 00:08:06,137
Right, Jayden?
207
00:08:06,181 --> 00:08:09,793
- Oh my God, thank you, sir!
[laughing]
208
00:08:09,837 --> 00:08:13,057
- 1,000 buckaroos.
209
00:08:13,101 --> 00:08:14,450
Last night,
I followed your advice,
210
00:08:14,494 --> 00:08:15,973
and I hit it big on scratchers.
211
00:08:16,017 --> 00:08:17,148
- Oh, that's great.
212
00:08:17,192 --> 00:08:18,454
- You'd think so.
213
00:08:18,498 --> 00:08:20,456
But around 4:00 a.m.,
I was still awake,
214
00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:23,285
and I realized the truth--
you ruined me.
215
00:08:23,328 --> 00:08:25,287
- Mm, you know, I really
thought I was safe
216
00:08:25,330 --> 00:08:27,071
from ever having
this conversation with a woman.
217
00:08:27,115 --> 00:08:28,943
- Turns out the best part
of playing scratchers
218
00:08:28,986 --> 00:08:30,597
isn't the money.
219
00:08:30,640 --> 00:08:33,164
It's the--
Wa-cha!--
220
00:08:33,208 --> 00:08:35,645
the unpredictability,
and you took that away.
221
00:08:35,689 --> 00:08:37,255
- Okay.
222
00:08:37,299 --> 00:08:40,084
I guess I'm sorry that I helped
you win a bunch of money?
223
00:08:40,128 --> 00:08:42,043
- Your apology is like
the Super Bowl.
224
00:08:42,086 --> 00:08:45,307
Just because it's happening
doesn't mean I care about it.
225
00:08:46,830 --> 00:08:48,615
- What kind of sorcery is this?
226
00:08:48,658 --> 00:08:51,792
Why--why am I mad
you gave me $1,000?
227
00:08:51,835 --> 00:08:53,010
- [groans]
228
00:08:53,054 --> 00:08:55,447
- Hey, Mikaela,
are we coordinating
229
00:08:55,491 --> 00:08:57,232
with the Beverly Hills
Mayor's Office
230
00:08:57,275 --> 00:08:58,799
about these power outages?
231
00:08:58,842 --> 00:09:00,757
- Yes, sir. They're encouraging
residents to evacuate
232
00:09:00,801 --> 00:09:03,238
to the nearest Mercedes
S-, E-, or C-Class.
233
00:09:03,281 --> 00:09:05,806
- Anything about cell towers
being down?
234
00:09:05,849 --> 00:09:08,809
I'm hearing a lot of talk about
texts not getting through.
235
00:09:08,852 --> 00:09:11,420
- Oh, please don't tell me
this is what I think it is.
236
00:09:11,463 --> 00:09:13,422
- Well, just look at this,
though.
237
00:09:13,465 --> 00:09:16,773
I mean, yesterday Angelica
responded right away.
238
00:09:16,817 --> 00:09:20,647
See? Look, question mark,
"Okay," "Can't talk right now,"
239
00:09:20,690 --> 00:09:24,302
"Driving" and then an emoji
with no mouth.
240
00:09:24,346 --> 00:09:26,348
But today look at that.
Nothing.
241
00:09:26,391 --> 00:09:27,741
- Sir, she's ghosting you.
242
00:09:27,784 --> 00:09:29,003
- Ghosting me?
243
00:09:29,046 --> 00:09:30,352
- Don't listen to Mikaela, sir.
244
00:09:30,395 --> 00:09:31,745
This is standard
cat-and-mouse stuff.
245
00:09:31,788 --> 00:09:33,703
I go years without hearing
from women.
246
00:09:33,747 --> 00:09:36,750
- Okay, maybe we can save this.
What have you texted her today?
247
00:09:36,793 --> 00:09:38,447
- Whoa.
- Oh, God.
248
00:09:38,490 --> 00:09:40,971
Did you copy and paste all the
lyrics to a Joni Mitchell song?
249
00:09:41,015 --> 00:09:43,670
- No.
No, I-I typed them out.
250
00:09:43,713 --> 00:09:45,236
- And a voice memo?
251
00:09:45,280 --> 00:09:46,760
- It does voice memos?
252
00:09:46,803 --> 00:09:51,199
Siri, search Angelica Masters
control-top pantyhose.
253
00:09:51,242 --> 00:09:54,376
- And you sent her a red heart?
254
00:09:54,419 --> 00:09:56,378
- [scoffs]
Sir, the progression
255
00:09:56,421 --> 00:09:58,685
is green heart, yellow heart,
purple heart, pink heart,
256
00:09:58,728 --> 00:10:00,425
double-pink heart,
then red heart.
257
00:10:00,469 --> 00:10:02,253
- A red heart is what you send
to your mom
258
00:10:02,297 --> 00:10:03,733
on, like, Mothers' Day
or to your dad
259
00:10:03,777 --> 00:10:05,561
when he sends you
a picture of fish he caught
260
00:10:05,605 --> 00:10:07,302
and you don't know
how else to connect.
261
00:10:07,345 --> 00:10:09,696
- God, what's wrong with me?
262
00:10:09,739 --> 00:10:11,567
I'm being a total doofus.
263
00:10:11,611 --> 00:10:13,090
And it's because of this thing.
264
00:10:13,134 --> 00:10:16,224
I'm gonna go talk
to her face-to-face.
265
00:10:16,267 --> 00:10:17,878
- Oh, no, no, no.
- Yes, yes, yes.
266
00:10:17,921 --> 00:10:19,053
- Sir, I am gonna tell you
267
00:10:19,096 --> 00:10:20,750
what I would tell
any friend of mine.
268
00:10:20,794 --> 00:10:22,752
Do not contact Angelica
for one year.
269
00:10:22,796 --> 00:10:24,101
- You're being hyperbolic.
270
00:10:24,145 --> 00:10:25,886
- You need her to forget
what you did.
271
00:10:25,929 --> 00:10:27,409
- Come on.
272
00:10:27,452 --> 00:10:29,454
- I am being as serious
as Nicole Kidman in a drama
273
00:10:29,498 --> 00:10:31,369
where she cannot be Australian.
274
00:10:31,413 --> 00:10:33,589
One year, minimum.
275
00:10:33,633 --> 00:10:35,678
- I'll set a one-year timer
on your phone, sir.
276
00:10:35,722 --> 00:10:37,941
Is the old car horn
ringtone okay?
277
00:10:37,985 --> 00:10:39,769
- No, no, no.
278
00:10:43,730 --> 00:10:47,081
- Ms. Shaw,
did you see my memo?
279
00:10:47,124 --> 00:10:48,952
- Uh, yeah, you're mad at Tommy
280
00:10:48,996 --> 00:10:51,302
because he made you
too good at scratchers?
281
00:10:51,346 --> 00:10:54,262
- Yes. You may have noticed
the erasers
282
00:10:54,305 --> 00:10:56,481
have been gnawed off
all the office pencils.
283
00:10:56,525 --> 00:10:59,528
It was my doing.
I-I'm a little on edge.
284
00:10:59,571 --> 00:11:01,748
- Arpi, there's a Salvatore
for you on line one.
285
00:11:01,791 --> 00:11:04,141
- I will call him back,
Véronica!
286
00:11:05,665 --> 00:11:07,928
This is the time of day
I'd normally be scratching.
287
00:11:07,971 --> 00:11:09,581
- Yeah. Hey, I get it.
288
00:11:09,625 --> 00:11:12,062
You know, when I'm overwhelmed,
I just take a Buzzfeed quiz.
289
00:11:12,106 --> 00:11:13,324
- Show me.
290
00:11:13,368 --> 00:11:16,284
Omelet.
"Despicable Me." Boxer briefs.
291
00:11:16,327 --> 00:11:19,722
Tomato soup. A sunset.
The blue dress.
292
00:11:19,766 --> 00:11:22,290
The light-blue dress.
The strapless blue dress.
293
00:11:22,333 --> 00:11:25,510
Boxer briefs.
Butter pecan. Simba.
294
00:11:25,554 --> 00:11:29,297
- Done.
And your ideal roommate is...
295
00:11:29,340 --> 00:11:32,909
[gasps]
Olivia Rodrigo! Ooh, fun.
296
00:11:32,953 --> 00:11:34,476
- This does not float my barge.
297
00:11:34,519 --> 00:11:36,260
- Okay. Well, let's just
take another one quiz.
298
00:11:36,304 --> 00:11:38,698
Which "Sex and the City"
character are you?
299
00:11:38,741 --> 00:11:39,742
- Easy. Magda.
300
00:11:39,786 --> 00:11:40,656
- Oh.
- Yeah.
301
00:11:40,700 --> 00:11:42,397
- Yeah, this job is a killer.
302
00:11:42,440 --> 00:11:43,920
I used to stress-eat,
303
00:11:43,964 --> 00:11:45,792
but I've gotten a handle on it
through daily meditation.
304
00:11:45,835 --> 00:11:47,837
I was just gonna do my app
if you want to do it with me?
305
00:11:47,881 --> 00:11:49,752
- I guess we could find
a private--
306
00:11:49,796 --> 00:11:51,841
Oh, right here.
307
00:11:51,885 --> 00:11:54,670
- Hi, I'm Coyote Dewitt.
308
00:11:54,714 --> 00:11:56,803
Welcome to
"The Mindful Minute."
309
00:11:56,846 --> 00:12:01,329
Let's begin, as always,
by focusing on our "braadth."
310
00:12:01,372 --> 00:12:03,766
Breathing in,
stopping to notice
311
00:12:03,810 --> 00:12:06,726
where the "braadth" goes in
and the "braadth" goes out.
312
00:12:06,769 --> 00:12:08,510
- Why does she say "breath"
so weird?
313
00:12:08,553 --> 00:12:10,120
- That's supposed
to be "breath"?
314
00:12:10,164 --> 00:12:12,775
I thought Braadth was some new
god I was supposed to pray to.
315
00:12:12,819 --> 00:12:14,603
- 3:00, everybody.
316
00:12:16,213 --> 00:12:18,563
Oh. Oh, thank God.
317
00:12:18,607 --> 00:12:20,130
[machinery sputtering,
electricity crackling]
318
00:12:20,174 --> 00:12:22,480
No, no, no!
319
00:12:22,524 --> 00:12:24,787
[dramatic music]
320
00:12:24,831 --> 00:12:26,833
It's a brownout.
321
00:12:26,876 --> 00:12:29,183
- No!
322
00:12:29,226 --> 00:12:30,880
I'm going
to the break-room fridge,
323
00:12:30,924 --> 00:12:33,230
and I'm gonna eat all the food
before it melts!
324
00:12:33,274 --> 00:12:36,407
Oh, yeah.
That'll get you there.
325
00:12:36,451 --> 00:12:38,845
- The stakes here
may be too high.
326
00:12:38,888 --> 00:12:41,108
I bit into this
thinking it was a lemon scone,
327
00:12:41,151 --> 00:12:43,240
and it is very much
a tuna melt.
328
00:12:43,284 --> 00:12:45,025
- This always makes me
feel fantastic
329
00:12:45,068 --> 00:12:46,853
for, like, 18 to 20 minutes
330
00:12:46,896 --> 00:12:49,812
and then very,
very sleepy and sad.
331
00:12:49,856 --> 00:12:52,423
- Hey, Arpi,
I need a quick word.
332
00:12:52,467 --> 00:12:54,164
Are you eating
Valerie's birthday cake?
333
00:12:54,208 --> 00:12:56,688
You know that her birthday was,
like, before Thanksgiving.
334
00:12:56,732 --> 00:12:58,386
- Yeah,
we're stress-eating, sir.
335
00:12:58,429 --> 00:13:00,736
- Oh. First, thank you.
You were right.
336
00:13:00,780 --> 00:13:03,565
I'm much happier dating
a woman my own age.
337
00:13:03,608 --> 00:13:05,088
- When did I ever say
that to you?
338
00:13:05,132 --> 00:13:08,091
- I may have imagined
you yelling it at me, I guess.
339
00:13:08,135 --> 00:13:09,440
I don't know.
340
00:13:09,484 --> 00:13:11,399
Anyway, look,
the youngsters are telling me
341
00:13:11,442 --> 00:13:15,011
that I can't call
a certain special lady
342
00:13:15,055 --> 00:13:16,708
for a year.
343
00:13:16,752 --> 00:13:18,710
Now, those aren't
Boomer rules, right?
344
00:13:18,754 --> 00:13:20,234
Boomers don't have
a year to waste.
345
00:13:20,277 --> 00:13:23,193
- Don't lump me in with
your "Big Chill" generation.
346
00:13:23,237 --> 00:13:25,152
I'm technically
a Gen X preemie.
347
00:13:25,195 --> 00:13:26,588
- I think I should call her.
348
00:13:26,631 --> 00:13:28,198
- [inhales sharply]
- What? What?
349
00:13:28,242 --> 00:13:29,678
- I never called
Salvatore back.
350
00:13:29,721 --> 00:13:31,462
- Arpi, have you talked
to Salvatore today?
351
00:13:31,506 --> 00:13:33,377
Apparently there's a problem
with the cooling center.
352
00:13:33,421 --> 00:13:35,553
- This is what happens
when I'm off my game!
353
00:13:35,597 --> 00:13:38,034
[cell phone vibrates]
354
00:13:38,078 --> 00:13:40,297
- Hey, now.
355
00:13:40,341 --> 00:13:41,995
Oh.
356
00:13:42,038 --> 00:13:45,172
Uh, look-it, if Arpi calls, uh,
tell her that I had to go, uh,
357
00:13:45,215 --> 00:13:47,087
deal with the heat at the--
you know, the place.
358
00:13:47,130 --> 00:13:48,479
Hey, Dan. Get the car.
359
00:13:48,523 --> 00:13:50,394
- [groaning]
Oh, Braadth!
360
00:13:50,438 --> 00:13:52,701
Why have you forsaken me?
361
00:13:54,268 --> 00:13:54,442
.
362
00:13:54,485 --> 00:13:56,705
- Salvatore, what the crap
is this?
363
00:13:56,748 --> 00:13:58,228
- Okay, hear me out.
364
00:13:58,272 --> 00:14:00,361
The cooling tent that I brought
yesterday was a backup.
365
00:14:00,404 --> 00:14:01,971
And they already booked it
for today
366
00:14:02,015 --> 00:14:03,668
for the roof of Soho House
because sometimes
367
00:14:03,712 --> 00:14:05,540
the guests complain
that the pool is too heated.
368
00:14:05,583 --> 00:14:08,238
- So you put senior citizens
inside a damn clown?
369
00:14:08,282 --> 00:14:09,979
- Okay, continue
hearing me out.
370
00:14:10,023 --> 00:14:11,502
I called you earlier and said,
371
00:14:11,546 --> 00:14:13,635
"Would you be okay
with a high-end bouncy house?"
372
00:14:13,678 --> 00:14:15,419
And when I didn't hear
from you, I followed my gut.
373
00:14:15,463 --> 00:14:16,986
I've been working
on not overthinking things.
374
00:14:17,030 --> 00:14:18,814
- This is my fault
because I was distracted.
375
00:14:18,858 --> 00:14:20,207
- How fast can we
get rid of this?
376
00:14:20,250 --> 00:14:21,904
- Well, do we want no injuries
or some injuries?
377
00:14:21,948 --> 00:14:24,080
'Cause those are two
very different timelines.
378
00:14:24,124 --> 00:14:26,735
- [grunting]
- Ay, la madre!
379
00:14:26,778 --> 00:14:28,432
- Get your head
in the game, Arpi!
380
00:14:28,476 --> 00:14:30,652
- Why does that one old guy
keep jumping?
381
00:14:30,695 --> 00:14:31,914
He's popcorning everybody.
382
00:14:31,958 --> 00:14:33,437
- What do you want me
to do, Arpi?
383
00:14:33,481 --> 00:14:36,266
- I can't decide!
Tommy, break my fingers.
384
00:14:36,310 --> 00:14:38,399
I've read that extreme pain
can focus the mind.
385
00:14:38,442 --> 00:14:40,401
Go for the pinky.
386
00:14:40,444 --> 00:14:42,272
- Look, do you remember
when I told you
387
00:14:42,316 --> 00:14:44,361
I don't have
a secret coping mechanism?
388
00:14:44,405 --> 00:14:47,234
I lied, I do, and somehow you
have made me feel guilty enough
389
00:14:47,277 --> 00:14:48,757
that I want to let you
in on it.
390
00:14:48,800 --> 00:14:50,106
- I'll do anything
at this point
391
00:14:50,150 --> 00:14:51,716
except therapy or Peloton.
392
00:14:51,760 --> 00:14:53,675
- Meet me at the corner
of Tujunga and Ventura
393
00:14:53,718 --> 00:14:54,981
at 6:40 a.m. tomorrow.
394
00:14:55,024 --> 00:14:57,635
Don't wear anything baggy
or with zippers.
395
00:14:57,679 --> 00:15:00,334
[dramatic music]
396
00:15:00,377 --> 00:15:02,249
♪
397
00:15:02,292 --> 00:15:04,642
- [chuckles]
398
00:15:04,686 --> 00:15:06,427
- Can I help you?
399
00:15:06,470 --> 00:15:08,864
- You're the guy who does
those E.D. commercials.
400
00:15:08,908 --> 00:15:10,822
- Gorgialis.
401
00:15:10,866 --> 00:15:12,824
It's always nice to meet a fan.
402
00:15:12,868 --> 00:15:15,262
- What? No, no, no.
I'm the mayor.
403
00:15:15,305 --> 00:15:16,654
- What are you doing here?
404
00:15:16,698 --> 00:15:20,310
- Me? What's the boner-pill guy
doing here?
405
00:15:20,354 --> 00:15:23,835
- I'm also an adjunct professor
of acting and pretend fighting
406
00:15:23,879 --> 00:15:25,663
at Santa Monica
Community College,
407
00:15:25,707 --> 00:15:27,274
but sure, dude.
408
00:15:27,317 --> 00:15:29,624
- Brett and I are old friends.
409
00:15:29,667 --> 00:15:33,976
We hit it off on a commercial
for a bathtub you stand up in
410
00:15:34,020 --> 00:15:36,326
and reconnected
after my divorce.
411
00:15:36,370 --> 00:15:38,807
- But, Angelica, you texted me.
412
00:15:38,850 --> 00:15:41,201
- And you didn't text me back.
413
00:15:41,244 --> 00:15:44,334
So I texted the Trivago guy
and then Brett.
414
00:15:44,378 --> 00:15:46,902
- Hey, man,
"Trivago Guy passed"
415
00:15:46,946 --> 00:15:48,425
are my three favorite words.
416
00:15:48,469 --> 00:15:51,776
- Brett, do you mind if I have
a moment alone with Neil?
417
00:15:51,820 --> 00:15:53,213
- [chuckles]
418
00:15:53,256 --> 00:15:56,346
- Why didn't you text me back
before coming over here?
419
00:15:56,390 --> 00:15:59,523
- I didn't realize
you were seeing other people.
420
00:15:59,567 --> 00:16:02,570
- Oh, honey, haven't you
ever heard the term "trampage"?
421
00:16:02,613 --> 00:16:04,528
- Why do people
keep calling me "honey"?
422
00:16:04,572 --> 00:16:06,052
And of course not.
423
00:16:06,095 --> 00:16:08,010
- I'm newly single.
424
00:16:08,054 --> 00:16:10,534
And career-wise,
I'm having a moment.
425
00:16:10,578 --> 00:16:12,232
I want to meet people.
[snapping fingers]
426
00:16:12,275 --> 00:16:14,538
I want to expand my horizons.
427
00:16:14,582 --> 00:16:16,888
A "trampage"
is a rite of passage
428
00:16:16,932 --> 00:16:19,282
for a sexy divorcée like me.
429
00:16:19,326 --> 00:16:21,806
- Oh, my God, I just don't get
how this works anymore.
430
00:16:21,850 --> 00:16:24,766
I mean, did you know about
the different color hearts?
431
00:16:24,809 --> 00:16:27,682
- Only because I took
a great computer course
432
00:16:27,725 --> 00:16:29,031
at the Learning Annex.
433
00:16:29,075 --> 00:16:32,861
Turns out you can print
from your cell phone!
434
00:16:32,904 --> 00:16:34,384
- What?
435
00:16:34,428 --> 00:16:38,736
- Listen, I'm sorry
if you felt misled.
436
00:16:38,780 --> 00:16:40,477
For what it's worth,
437
00:16:40,521 --> 00:16:44,090
this is also
a big disappointment for me.
438
00:16:44,133 --> 00:16:47,702
I really wanted to do
some weird stuff with you
439
00:16:47,745 --> 00:16:50,835
that Brett just doesn't have
the height for.
440
00:16:50,879 --> 00:16:52,098
- Thank you.
441
00:16:52,141 --> 00:16:55,231
That actually means a lot.
- Okay, bye-bye.
442
00:16:55,275 --> 00:16:58,365
[indistinct chatter]
443
00:17:00,410 --> 00:17:02,325
- What is this,
some kind of fight club?
444
00:17:02,369 --> 00:17:03,935
- If you don't know
what this is,
445
00:17:03,979 --> 00:17:05,241
you shouldn't be here, fish.
446
00:17:05,285 --> 00:17:07,026
- Okay, easy, Gretchen.
She's with me.
447
00:17:07,069 --> 00:17:08,592
- Yeah, Gretchen.
448
00:17:08,636 --> 00:17:10,377
I'm digging
the "Lord of the Flies" vibe,
449
00:17:10,420 --> 00:17:12,683
but what specifically
are we doing?
450
00:17:12,727 --> 00:17:15,686
- Everyone here collects
a special kind of pottery--
451
00:17:15,730 --> 00:17:17,079
Rae Dunn ceramics.
452
00:17:17,123 --> 00:17:18,428
It comes out
in limited editions.
453
00:17:18,472 --> 00:17:20,256
Five minutes after these
doors open, it'll be gone.
454
00:17:20,300 --> 00:17:22,171
- Yeah,
'cause I'll have it all.
455
00:17:22,215 --> 00:17:23,781
- Oh, you wish!
456
00:17:23,825 --> 00:17:25,740
You usually get
your first taste by accident.
457
00:17:25,783 --> 00:17:27,611
Someone gives you a mug
that says "drink."
458
00:17:27,655 --> 00:17:29,439
Pretty soon you want a plate
that says "plate."
459
00:17:29,483 --> 00:17:31,006
Then you discover
the desktop accessories,
460
00:17:31,050 --> 00:17:32,486
and then they've got you.
461
00:17:32,529 --> 00:17:34,183
On Tuesday and Friday mornings,
462
00:17:34,227 --> 00:17:35,619
that manager puts out
the new stock
463
00:17:35,663 --> 00:17:39,275
and then I fight these Karens
to the death for it.
464
00:17:39,319 --> 00:17:40,624
Look, just follow
my lead, okay?
465
00:17:40,668 --> 00:17:42,452
Keep your elbows up
and don't be afraid
466
00:17:42,496 --> 00:17:44,759
to snatch out
some clip-in weaves!
467
00:17:44,802 --> 00:17:46,195
Go, go, go!
468
00:17:46,239 --> 00:17:48,937
[all screaming]
469
00:17:48,980 --> 00:17:51,722
[sweeping classical music]
470
00:17:51,766 --> 00:17:58,555
♪
471
00:18:39,161 --> 00:18:39,335
.
472
00:18:39,379 --> 00:18:43,122
[indistinct chatter,
computer beeping]
473
00:18:43,165 --> 00:18:46,125
- That was...
474
00:18:46,168 --> 00:18:47,517
satisfying.
475
00:18:47,561 --> 00:18:48,997
- Yeah.
476
00:18:49,040 --> 00:18:52,174
- I appreciate you letting me
see your secret joy.
477
00:18:52,218 --> 00:18:54,872
Makes me feel less alone
in my weirdness.
478
00:18:54,916 --> 00:18:56,961
- So see you next week?
479
00:18:57,005 --> 00:18:58,659
- Nah.
480
00:18:58,702 --> 00:19:00,791
I can't physically
destroy ladies
481
00:19:00,835 --> 00:19:02,489
with sassy haircuts.
482
00:19:02,532 --> 00:19:04,055
Feels like cannibalism.
483
00:19:04,099 --> 00:19:08,843
But I have enjoyed
this reasonably priced dance
484
00:19:08,886 --> 00:19:11,802
with chaos
and his sister, danger.
485
00:19:11,846 --> 00:19:14,065
I just need to find
my own dirty hotel room
486
00:19:14,109 --> 00:19:16,546
for our next ménage à trois.
487
00:19:16,590 --> 00:19:18,157
- Cool. Good luck with that.
488
00:19:19,897 --> 00:19:22,030
- Sir, can you explain to me
why the city's
489
00:19:22,073 --> 00:19:23,988
Official Mayor's Office
Twitter account
490
00:19:24,032 --> 00:19:26,165
has been trolling
the Gorgialis account?
491
00:19:26,208 --> 00:19:28,558
- A medication I'm also on
but for wake apnea.
492
00:19:28,602 --> 00:19:30,647
- You were right, Mikaela.
493
00:19:30,691 --> 00:19:32,780
Angelica's on a trampage.
494
00:19:32,823 --> 00:19:35,217
- Oh, I love that for her.
495
00:19:35,261 --> 00:19:39,047
- Yeah, she was just using me.
And I humiliated myself.
496
00:19:39,090 --> 00:19:41,267
- Well, at least it was
with Angelica Masters.
497
00:19:41,310 --> 00:19:44,226
My last date was with
an improviser who robbed me.
498
00:19:44,270 --> 00:19:46,097
[chuckles]
I don't know. I might text him.
499
00:19:46,141 --> 00:19:49,188
- I wasn't excited about her
because she's Internet famous.
500
00:19:49,231 --> 00:19:52,365
I was excited because
we had so much to talk about.
501
00:19:52,408 --> 00:19:55,498
I didn't have to pretend to
know who The Chainsmokers were.
502
00:19:55,542 --> 00:19:56,934
- Well, there's probably
503
00:19:56,978 --> 00:19:58,675
a lot of women
that you can do that with.
504
00:19:58,719 --> 00:20:00,024
You just need to find one
505
00:20:00,068 --> 00:20:02,026
who sees you
as more than a jump-off.
506
00:20:02,070 --> 00:20:04,246
- Huh. Yeah.
507
00:20:04,290 --> 00:20:07,510
Yeah, maybe it took a one-night
stand with Angelica Masters
508
00:20:07,554 --> 00:20:10,383
to realize
that I really am ready
509
00:20:10,426 --> 00:20:12,559
for a mature relationship.
510
00:20:12,602 --> 00:20:14,256
- When do you
want to meet my aunt?
511
00:20:14,300 --> 00:20:16,824
Her name's Patricia,
and she is mean.
512
00:20:16,867 --> 00:20:20,001
[happy chatter]
513
00:20:20,044 --> 00:20:21,829
- Arpi, it's getting dark.
514
00:20:21,872 --> 00:20:24,266
- I paid for the hour,
Salvatore, and I need this.
515
00:20:24,310 --> 00:20:27,313
Keep popcorning, Griffin.
516
00:20:27,356 --> 00:20:30,272
- Are you an older adult
who thinks he or she
517
00:20:30,316 --> 00:20:32,927
is in an online relationship
with me?
518
00:20:32,970 --> 00:20:34,537
You're probably not.
519
00:20:34,581 --> 00:20:37,105
Hi, I'm Angelica Masters,
520
00:20:37,148 --> 00:20:40,326
and I'm not looking
for anything serious right now,
521
00:20:40,369 --> 00:20:43,242
nor do I need
your social security number
522
00:20:43,285 --> 00:20:45,896
or any other
personal information.
523
00:20:45,940 --> 00:20:49,813
Take it from me,
Angelica Masters will never ask
524
00:20:49,857 --> 00:20:52,425
for your email
or bank account password,
525
00:20:52,468 --> 00:20:56,342
your bank routing number,
the name of your first pet,
526
00:20:56,385 --> 00:20:58,126
pictures of your passport,
527
00:20:58,169 --> 00:21:01,434
or any other
personal information.
528
00:21:01,477 --> 00:21:03,610
She is not interested.
529
00:21:03,653 --> 00:21:05,960
And if Angelica Masters asks
530
00:21:06,003 --> 00:21:09,616
for photos of your genitalia...
531
00:21:09,659 --> 00:21:12,488
better send those--
that could be me.
532
00:21:12,532 --> 00:21:14,316
There is nothing is sexier
533
00:21:14,360 --> 00:21:17,319
than protecting
your personal information
534
00:21:17,363 --> 00:21:19,321
from online scammers.
535
00:21:19,365 --> 00:21:23,238
So keep it sexy, L.A.
536
00:21:23,282 --> 00:21:25,284
- Good night, everybody!
- Good night!
38575
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