Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:04,504
♪ It seems today that all you see ♪
2
00:00:04,505 --> 00:00:08,174
♪ Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪
3
00:00:08,175 --> 00:00:11,844
♪ But where are those
good old-fashioned values ♪
4
00:00:11,845 --> 00:00:14,472
♪ On which we used to rely? ♪
5
00:00:14,473 --> 00:00:18,309
♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪
6
00:00:18,310 --> 00:00:21,604
♪ Lucky there's a man
who positively can do ♪
7
00:00:21,605 --> 00:00:23,189
♪ All the things that make us ♪
8
00:00:23,190 --> 00:00:24,690
♪ Laugh and cry ♪
9
00:00:24,691 --> 00:00:30,155
♪ He's... a... Fam... ily... Guy! ♪
10
00:00:31,073 --> 00:00:34,076
- Synced and corrected by AlexandreMT -
- www.addic7ed.com -
11
00:00:36,328 --> 00:00:39,914
Oh, good. Kids, you're
just in time for breakfast.
12
00:00:39,915 --> 00:00:42,083
No time, Mom. The girl I stalk
13
00:00:42,084 --> 00:00:44,252
has field hockey practice at 8:00.
14
00:00:44,253 --> 00:00:47,088
I love a red-cheeked barbarian.
15
00:00:47,089 --> 00:00:48,297
How about you, Meg?
16
00:00:48,298 --> 00:00:51,175
Can't. I'm weirdly
the girl he's stalking.
17
00:00:51,176 --> 00:00:54,262
God help me, I love the attention.
18
00:00:54,263 --> 00:00:55,972
Well, it's just you and me, Stewie.
19
00:00:55,973 --> 00:00:57,390
What should we do today?
20
00:00:57,391 --> 00:01:00,059
I don't know, maybe forget
everything that just happened?
21
00:01:00,060 --> 00:01:01,269
All right, there he is.
22
00:01:01,270 --> 00:01:02,895
- Do you have his lunch ready?
- Lunch?
23
00:01:02,896 --> 00:01:06,190
This big boy has his first
whole day of preschool today.
24
00:01:06,191 --> 00:01:08,568
Oh, my God, is it September already?
25
00:01:08,569 --> 00:01:11,279
Wow. So I have the whole day to myself.
26
00:01:11,280 --> 00:01:12,947
Let's see. I...
27
00:01:12,948 --> 00:01:15,616
I guess I've got nothing to do
except create an excuse
28
00:01:15,617 --> 00:01:19,036
to touch the Target cashier lady
I want to run away with.
29
00:01:19,037 --> 00:01:21,539
That'll be $6.11.
30
00:01:21,540 --> 00:01:24,709
Oh, perfect. I have a dime and a penny.
31
00:01:24,710 --> 00:01:27,378
They're right here, in my hand,
32
00:01:27,379 --> 00:01:28,963
for you to take.
33
00:01:40,017 --> 00:01:42,268
We could go to Montana.
34
00:01:42,269 --> 00:01:45,063
I want to, but I can't.
35
00:01:49,776 --> 00:01:54,239
Esperanza,
it's time to get back to work.
36
00:01:55,324 --> 00:01:57,158
Lady! Wait!
37
00:02:12,382 --> 00:02:13,758
No!
38
00:02:13,759 --> 00:02:16,344
Cinnamon-skinned Target lady!
39
00:02:16,345 --> 00:02:17,845
No!
40
00:02:17,846 --> 00:02:20,056
Target. Due to lesbian fantasies,
41
00:02:20,057 --> 00:02:22,017
we no longer accept change.
42
00:02:25,020 --> 00:02:26,979
Well, I have the whole day.
43
00:02:26,980 --> 00:02:29,023
I guess I can watch The Office
for so long
44
00:02:29,024 --> 00:02:32,277
that Netflix has to ask
if I'm still alive.
45
00:02:52,589 --> 00:02:55,049
Hey, Lois, is everything okay?
46
00:02:55,050 --> 00:02:57,885
Uh, our Netflix says your
Netflix is worried about you.
47
00:02:57,886 --> 00:02:58,928
Is that the delivery guy?
48
00:02:58,929 --> 00:03:00,554
Ooh, I hate him, I hate him, I hate him!
49
00:03:08,397 --> 00:03:11,273
Oh, my God. Oh, Brian, are you okay?!
50
00:03:11,274 --> 00:03:13,442
Oh, crap. I-I can't remember
51
00:03:13,443 --> 00:03:16,237
if doggy arms
are supposed to bend that way.
52
00:03:17,197 --> 00:03:19,073
Okay, Bonnie might know if doggy arms
53
00:03:19,074 --> 00:03:20,741
are supposed to bend that way.
54
00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:23,494
Hang on. She's responding.
55
00:03:23,495 --> 00:03:25,413
I can see the little dots in the bubble.
56
00:03:25,414 --> 00:03:26,706
Oh, no, wait, she stopped.
57
00:03:26,707 --> 00:03:28,124
Oh, now she's typing again.
58
00:03:28,125 --> 00:03:31,001
- Take me...
- Typing. Typing.
59
00:03:31,002 --> 00:03:32,044
Typing.
60
00:03:32,045 --> 00:03:33,254
...to a hospital.
61
00:03:33,255 --> 00:03:35,214
Oh, Bonnie doesn't have a dog.
62
00:03:40,595 --> 00:03:42,930
I spy with my handicapable eye
63
00:03:42,931 --> 00:03:45,683
something for bulk trash day!
64
00:03:45,684 --> 00:03:47,643
Yeah, you know what?
This thing's a piece of junk.
65
00:03:47,644 --> 00:03:49,103
Worked one time.
66
00:03:49,104 --> 00:03:51,647
Peter, you're throwing
this Ping-Pong table out?
67
00:03:51,648 --> 00:03:52,690
Can I have it?
68
00:03:52,691 --> 00:03:53,941
Sure, it's all yours.
69
00:03:53,942 --> 00:03:55,735
Mattress? Mattress?
70
00:03:55,736 --> 00:03:57,445
Anyone throwing away a mattress?
71
00:03:57,446 --> 00:03:58,529
Eh, what size?
72
00:03:58,530 --> 00:04:00,156
I don't know. Van size?
73
00:04:00,157 --> 00:04:01,366
Whatever size that is.
74
00:04:05,245 --> 00:04:06,495
Hello!
75
00:04:06,496 --> 00:04:08,164
Broken arm, huh?
76
00:04:08,165 --> 00:04:09,081
That's no fun.
77
00:04:09,082 --> 00:04:11,208
Hey! Get out of here!
78
00:04:11,209 --> 00:04:13,919
Uh, you didn't give him
the combination to the lock
79
00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:15,629
on your garbage shed, did you?
80
00:04:15,630 --> 00:04:17,298
- No.
- Good.
81
00:04:17,299 --> 00:04:20,509
Any horse, that arm looks broken.
82
00:04:20,510 --> 00:04:22,178
We'll have to get you some painkillers.
83
00:04:22,179 --> 00:04:23,846
I'm just gonna open this drawer
84
00:04:23,847 --> 00:04:25,389
that doesn't have the mechanism
85
00:04:25,390 --> 00:04:27,601
that stops it
from pulling all the way out.
86
00:04:28,518 --> 00:04:29,810
Ah! Darn it.
87
00:04:29,811 --> 00:04:31,520
Hey, I heard a crash in here.
88
00:04:31,521 --> 00:04:33,564
I, uh... I'm gonna need
that shed password
89
00:04:33,565 --> 00:04:35,065
to throw everything away, though.
90
00:04:35,066 --> 00:04:36,525
Four, two...
91
00:04:36,526 --> 00:04:37,818
Isn't that the same raccoon?
92
00:04:37,819 --> 00:04:40,322
No. This one actually works here.
93
00:04:43,992 --> 00:04:46,911
Guys, there's something
going on across the street.
94
00:04:46,912 --> 00:04:49,497
Did that cocky jogger
finally get hit by a car?
95
00:04:49,498 --> 00:04:51,874
Nope. I outran them.
96
00:04:51,875 --> 00:04:53,834
♪ Cocky jogger. ♪
97
00:04:53,835 --> 00:04:55,920
Mile 13!
98
00:04:55,921 --> 00:04:57,254
Dad,
99
00:04:57,255 --> 00:04:59,216
isn't that our Ping-Pong table?
100
00:05:02,052 --> 00:05:03,761
I don't know. Let me imagine it
101
00:05:03,762 --> 00:05:05,846
with lots of paint cans on top of it.
102
00:05:05,847 --> 00:05:07,140
Hey, that's ours!
103
00:05:10,727 --> 00:05:12,269
Wow, Cleveland, looks like you got
104
00:05:12,270 --> 00:05:14,104
the most popular place on the block.
105
00:05:14,105 --> 00:05:15,606
You really fixed this thing up.
106
00:05:15,607 --> 00:05:16,607
Can I play winner?
107
00:05:16,608 --> 00:05:18,484
Uh, yeah, there's a line, bub.
108
00:05:18,485 --> 00:05:21,905
The line starts all the way back
in that burning barn.
109
00:05:23,365 --> 00:05:25,659
Hey, no cuts!
110
00:05:29,871 --> 00:05:31,330
Aw, poor Brian.
111
00:05:31,331 --> 00:05:33,375
Have your pain meds kicked in yet?
112
00:05:34,793 --> 00:05:36,001
Ho, yeah.
113
00:05:36,002 --> 00:05:37,545
How does it feel?
114
00:05:37,546 --> 00:05:39,046
Ho, yeah.
115
00:05:39,047 --> 00:05:40,506
Where are you going?
116
00:05:40,507 --> 00:05:41,924
Ho, yeah.
117
00:05:41,925 --> 00:05:44,385
Huh. I want to "ho, yeah."
118
00:05:46,429 --> 00:05:49,015
Maybe just a half of a half, huh?
119
00:05:54,729 --> 00:05:57,022
- What? Wh-
- Where am I?
120
00:05:57,023 --> 00:05:58,941
You're on my head, Lois.
121
00:05:58,942 --> 00:06:00,860
Chris Daughtry?
122
00:06:00,861 --> 00:06:02,361
That's right, Lois.
123
00:06:02,362 --> 00:06:04,697
Would you like
to glide around on my head
124
00:06:04,698 --> 00:06:06,240
like an air hockey puck?
125
00:06:06,241 --> 00:06:07,283
Forever?
126
00:06:07,284 --> 00:06:10,661
Just until I have to do
a smoke-inside concert
127
00:06:10,662 --> 00:06:12,121
at an Indian casino.
128
00:06:12,122 --> 00:06:13,873
Oh, that must be soon.
129
00:06:13,874 --> 00:06:16,375
Every 45 minutes.
130
00:06:16,376 --> 00:06:17,626
Oh!
131
00:06:21,506 --> 00:06:22,715
Ah...
132
00:06:22,716 --> 00:06:26,469
A thousand bucks a show split six ways.
133
00:06:33,268 --> 00:06:35,519
Hey, Peter's underwear.
134
00:06:35,520 --> 00:06:37,730
You've been through a lot, huh?
135
00:06:37,731 --> 00:06:40,317
I'm gonna fold you nice.
136
00:06:54,831 --> 00:06:56,875
Ah.
137
00:07:02,672 --> 00:07:05,007
Hello. I'm Neil deGrasse Tyson.
138
00:07:05,008 --> 00:07:07,718
What Lois just did isn't possible.
139
00:07:07,719 --> 00:07:09,136
Or is it?
140
00:07:09,137 --> 00:07:12,807
Let's spend an hour
of Fox's money to find out.
141
00:07:21,775 --> 00:07:23,359
Well, it's 3:50.
142
00:07:23,360 --> 00:07:24,485
That's basically 4:00.
143
00:07:24,486 --> 00:07:25,611
I mean, in some cultures,
144
00:07:25,612 --> 00:07:27,821
it's polite to do things
ten minutes early.
145
00:07:27,822 --> 00:07:30,115
You know, if it's good with water,
146
00:07:30,116 --> 00:07:32,326
it'd be even better with wine, huh?
147
00:07:32,327 --> 00:07:34,329
Just like Jesus says.
148
00:07:39,084 --> 00:07:41,669
B-B-Brian, Brian,
was that the last pill?
149
00:07:43,004 --> 00:07:45,714
Yes. But that's fine,
'cause my arm's all better.
150
00:07:45,715 --> 00:07:47,508
Oh, so now you're a doctor?
151
00:07:47,509 --> 00:07:49,426
Of letters, from Hofstra, yes.
152
00:07:49,427 --> 00:07:51,470
Yeah, well-well-well-well,
there's nothing I love more
153
00:07:51,471 --> 00:07:53,514
than my dog Brian and
I'm not gonna take the chance
154
00:07:53,515 --> 00:07:55,933
that he doesn't have
enough pills just in case.
155
00:07:55,934 --> 00:07:58,352
Lois, I'm good. I don't want
to get hooked on those things.
156
00:07:58,353 --> 00:08:01,898
Who wants to go for a ride in the car?
157
00:08:05,902 --> 00:08:08,946
- Hey! Dr. Griffin!
- Yeah, Hofstra!
158
00:08:08,947 --> 00:08:11,950
Hofstra. Pets need safety schools, too.
159
00:08:18,206 --> 00:08:20,207
Okay. Time to play another round
160
00:08:20,208 --> 00:08:23,460
of expiration date roulette
with this salami.
161
00:08:25,755 --> 00:08:27,631
God, that's annoying.
162
00:08:30,301 --> 00:08:32,886
No problem. I can turn on
that one radio station
163
00:08:32,887 --> 00:08:34,972
that's just religious Spanish shouting.
164
00:08:34,973 --> 00:08:38,684
¡Jesucristo es el Señor
165
00:08:38,685 --> 00:08:40,561
del mundo!
166
00:08:40,562 --> 00:08:44,189
It's okay. I'm sure that noise
won't make me go insane.
167
00:08:47,193 --> 00:08:48,777
Peter?
168
00:08:48,778 --> 00:08:51,197
How's your new novel coming along?
169
00:09:13,636 --> 00:09:15,095
Don't read that.
170
00:09:15,096 --> 00:09:16,639
It's still very rough.
171
00:09:19,642 --> 00:09:21,351
Okay, if anyone has drugs,
172
00:09:21,352 --> 00:09:23,729
it's high school kids
under the bleachers.
173
00:09:23,730 --> 00:09:25,397
Hey, daddy-os.
174
00:09:25,398 --> 00:09:27,858
Anyone want to blast off to Mars?
175
00:09:27,859 --> 00:09:29,026
Uh, what?
176
00:09:29,027 --> 00:09:31,653
Well, what I'm saying is, I'm Lucy.
177
00:09:31,654 --> 00:09:34,073
Where's the sky with diamonds?
178
00:09:34,074 --> 00:09:37,076
Excuse me, ma'am, are you lost?
179
00:09:37,077 --> 00:09:39,244
No, I want pills! Give me pills!
180
00:09:39,245 --> 00:09:41,121
Aren't you kids doing drugs under here?
181
00:09:41,122 --> 00:09:42,873
No, we're picking up trash
182
00:09:42,874 --> 00:09:44,917
and organizing
a Black Lives Matter rally.
183
00:09:44,918 --> 00:09:46,752
Ugh! How could you be so selfish?!
184
00:09:46,753 --> 00:09:48,003
Hey, daddy-os...
185
00:09:48,004 --> 00:09:49,129
They don't have drugs!
186
00:09:49,130 --> 00:09:50,882
Later, alligators.
187
00:09:56,054 --> 00:09:58,222
Oh, Ping-Pong, huh? That's cute.
188
00:09:58,223 --> 00:10:00,641
Me, I like American games.
189
00:10:00,642 --> 00:10:02,392
Okay, I'll bite.
190
00:10:02,393 --> 00:10:04,186
No, I'm just saying Ping-Pong's not bad,
191
00:10:04,187 --> 00:10:05,896
but I'll tell you what's better...
192
00:10:05,897 --> 00:10:07,022
Foosball.
193
00:10:07,023 --> 00:10:08,816
Isn't it generally agreed that foosball,
194
00:10:08,817 --> 00:10:11,485
much like soccer,
originated in Western Europe?
195
00:10:11,486 --> 00:10:13,695
Isn't it generally agreed
a sphincter says, "What?"
196
00:10:13,696 --> 00:10:15,531
- No, it's not.
- What? Damn it!
197
00:10:15,532 --> 00:10:19,284
Hey, y'all! Come and get
your A&W cream soda floats!
198
00:10:19,285 --> 00:10:20,786
Holy crap!
199
00:10:20,787 --> 00:10:22,788
That's a huge frickin' brand!
200
00:10:22,789 --> 00:10:25,249
Long spoon? Long spoon?
201
00:10:25,250 --> 00:10:27,292
Long spoon to keep your knuckles dry?
202
00:10:28,336 --> 00:10:30,629
Okay. Thank you so much, Cleveland,
203
00:10:30,630 --> 00:10:33,674
for taking care of my Ping-Pong table
for the last few days.
204
00:10:33,675 --> 00:10:35,300
I'll be taking it back now.
205
00:10:36,636 --> 00:10:39,346
Now, Peter, just because
Cleveland had the vision
206
00:10:39,347 --> 00:10:41,640
to see the potential in your
Ping-Pong table you didn't,
207
00:10:41,641 --> 00:10:44,226
that doesn't mean you have
the right to take it back.
208
00:10:44,227 --> 00:10:46,812
- Yeah? Says who?
- Says the landmark case
209
00:10:46,813 --> 00:10:50,150
One Man's Trash
v. Another Man's Treasure.
210
00:10:59,033 --> 00:11:01,285
Hard-shell tacos, y'all.
211
00:11:01,286 --> 00:11:02,870
- Oh, yeah.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
212
00:11:02,871 --> 00:11:04,955
What's the brand on those shells?
213
00:11:04,956 --> 00:11:06,248
Old El Paso.
214
00:11:06,249 --> 00:11:09,460
Oh, baby. Huge brand.
215
00:11:12,213 --> 00:11:15,507
Damn it, there's got to be
one more pill in here somewhere.
216
00:11:15,508 --> 00:11:17,050
I mean, maybe there's one that got stuck
217
00:11:17,051 --> 00:11:18,802
in a drawer or something.
218
00:11:18,803 --> 00:11:20,596
Okay. Here, Stewie.
219
00:11:20,597 --> 00:11:22,306
Time to get nice and clean in your bath
220
00:11:22,307 --> 00:11:23,682
while Mommy gets on her knees
221
00:11:23,683 --> 00:11:25,934
and Tara Reids around the bathroom.
222
00:11:25,935 --> 00:11:27,895
Uh, there's no water in here.
223
00:11:27,896 --> 00:11:31,523
All right, let's see.
224
00:11:31,524 --> 00:11:33,066
Here it is.
225
00:11:33,067 --> 00:11:34,651
How's the temperature, sweetie?
226
00:11:34,652 --> 00:11:36,153
Of what? The air?
227
00:11:36,154 --> 00:11:38,363
Okay, I just need some water.
228
00:11:38,364 --> 00:11:39,365
Yeah, me, too.
229
00:11:44,704 --> 00:11:46,580
Oh, my God.
230
00:11:46,581 --> 00:11:47,998
That's the last pill.
231
00:11:49,667 --> 00:11:51,835
Oh, damn it, my hand's too big.
232
00:11:51,836 --> 00:11:53,462
It won't fit.
233
00:11:53,463 --> 00:11:58,759
Oh, Stewie, you know how you
missed your last swim lesson?
234
00:11:58,760 --> 00:12:01,887
Yeah, we could do a little
makeup class, huh?
235
00:12:01,888 --> 00:12:03,972
Wait, what's happening?
No, no, no, no, no, no, no!
236
00:12:03,973 --> 00:12:07,726
Well, you know how Teacher Amy
has you dive for rings?
237
00:12:07,727 --> 00:12:09,728
Well, this is like that,
except it's a pill
238
00:12:09,729 --> 00:12:11,563
and it's not okay if you don't get it.
239
00:12:11,564 --> 00:12:13,440
Aah! Damn you!
240
00:12:13,441 --> 00:12:16,360
Come on, come on, you just touched it!
241
00:12:16,361 --> 00:12:18,403
What's all the yelling...?
Oh, my God, Lois,
242
00:12:18,404 --> 00:12:20,489
what are you doing?
243
00:12:22,283 --> 00:12:25,494
First there wasn't enough water,
then there was too much.
244
00:12:25,495 --> 00:12:29,164
I just wanted the pill.
245
00:12:29,165 --> 00:12:30,666
Lois, you need help.
246
00:12:30,667 --> 00:12:33,001
I'm sorry, but there's
only one thing to do.
247
00:12:33,002 --> 00:12:34,544
I have one pill left.
248
00:12:34,545 --> 00:12:36,631
It's in my crate and you may have it.
249
00:12:38,633 --> 00:12:41,301
Brian, I don't see it.
250
00:12:42,804 --> 00:12:45,639
What are you doing?
Let me out of here, Brian.
251
00:12:45,640 --> 00:12:46,682
Help!
252
00:12:46,683 --> 00:12:48,350
Somebody help me!
253
00:12:48,351 --> 00:12:51,645
I'd stop, but my VO2 max rate is 70.
254
00:12:51,646 --> 00:12:53,230
I-Is that good?
255
00:12:53,231 --> 00:12:55,482
"Is that good?"
256
00:12:55,483 --> 00:12:57,818
♪ Cocky jogger. ♪
257
00:12:57,819 --> 00:13:00,029
See you at the finish line.
258
00:13:05,034 --> 00:13:08,120
Brian, unlock this cage.
259
00:13:08,121 --> 00:13:09,746
I'm sorry, I can't do that, Lois.
260
00:13:09,747 --> 00:13:11,373
You're an addict,
and I'm the reason those pills
261
00:13:11,374 --> 00:13:12,958
were in the house to begin with.
262
00:13:12,959 --> 00:13:14,543
So I'm gonna get you through this.
263
00:13:14,544 --> 00:13:17,213
The most important thing
is you getting better.
264
00:13:18,548 --> 00:13:21,300
Stewie? Stewie.
265
00:13:21,301 --> 00:13:25,846
Help Mommy out
and just open the latch, huh?
266
00:13:25,847 --> 00:13:28,473
Stewie. Stewie?
267
00:13:28,474 --> 00:13:30,934
Stewie? Stewie?
268
00:13:30,935 --> 00:13:33,603
Stewie? Stew?
269
00:13:33,604 --> 00:13:35,939
Stew? Stew?
270
00:13:35,940 --> 00:13:38,525
Stewie? Stewie?
271
00:13:38,526 --> 00:13:41,069
Stewie? Sweetie?
272
00:13:41,070 --> 00:13:43,905
Stewie? Stewie?
273
00:13:43,906 --> 00:13:46,408
Stewie. Stewie.
274
00:13:46,409 --> 00:13:47,951
Stewie?
275
00:13:47,952 --> 00:13:50,287
Stew? Stewart?
276
00:13:50,288 --> 00:13:52,998
Stew? Stewie?
277
00:13:52,999 --> 00:13:55,542
Stewie? Stewie?
278
00:13:55,543 --> 00:13:56,626
Stewie.
279
00:13:56,627 --> 00:13:59,129
Stewie. Stewie.
280
00:13:59,130 --> 00:14:01,631
- Stewie...
- Noise canceling on.
281
00:14:01,632 --> 00:14:04,134
Audible presents Times We've Been Nude
282
00:14:04,135 --> 00:14:05,927
by all three Hemsworths.
283
00:14:05,928 --> 00:14:07,220
G'day, Liam.
284
00:14:07,221 --> 00:14:08,972
I'm about to take me trousers off.
285
00:14:08,973 --> 00:14:10,432
Said Chris Hemsworth.
286
00:14:10,433 --> 00:14:12,100
Liam Hemsworth replied...
287
00:14:12,101 --> 00:14:14,227
Oh, Chris, you startled me.
288
00:14:14,228 --> 00:14:16,772
I was in the process
of taking my trousers off.
289
00:14:16,773 --> 00:14:19,858
I'm the third one,
and I'm trouserless, too.
290
00:14:19,859 --> 00:14:21,860
Said the third one, holding the trousers
291
00:14:21,861 --> 00:14:24,030
that the other two bought for him.
292
00:14:38,628 --> 00:14:41,255
I have some coupons for these.
293
00:14:42,340 --> 00:14:44,132
This coupon is expired.
294
00:14:44,133 --> 00:14:45,926
Well, try another one.
295
00:14:48,471 --> 00:14:51,515
All of these coupons are expired.
296
00:14:51,516 --> 00:14:53,725
Expired. Expired. Expired.
297
00:14:53,726 --> 00:14:54,976
But, but...
298
00:14:54,977 --> 00:14:56,395
Looks like someone
299
00:14:56,396 --> 00:14:58,772
didn't study for groceries.
300
00:14:58,773 --> 00:15:01,608
No, I-I studied.
301
00:15:01,609 --> 00:15:03,151
Also, you're naked
302
00:15:03,152 --> 00:15:04,277
and you're falling and you're falling
303
00:15:04,278 --> 00:15:06,322
and your teeth are coming out, too.
304
00:15:19,794 --> 00:15:22,462
Daddy, will you come to my recital?
305
00:15:22,463 --> 00:15:25,465
Can't you see I'm busy? God, so needy.
306
00:15:25,466 --> 00:15:28,385
She'll probably end up with
the first fat slob she meets.
307
00:15:35,768 --> 00:15:39,980
Let's start a life together.
I have 42 VHS tapes.
308
00:15:39,981 --> 00:15:43,358
They're movies taped off the TV,
so they all have commercials.
309
00:15:49,073 --> 00:15:52,784
Lois, you stand on trial for drug use
310
00:15:52,785 --> 00:15:55,287
prompted by mom-related boredom.
311
00:15:55,288 --> 00:15:58,707
This council has no hesitation
in pronouncing you...
312
00:15:58,708 --> 00:16:01,501
- Guilty.
- Guilty.
313
00:16:02,795 --> 00:16:05,630
Y-You're on mute, Jor-El.
314
00:16:05,631 --> 00:16:09,968
Jor-El, y-you have to unmute yourself.
315
00:16:09,969 --> 00:16:12,512
Dur, sorry. Can you hear me now?
316
00:16:12,513 --> 00:16:14,890
Yeah, yeah, o-okay, we got you.
317
00:16:14,891 --> 00:16:16,726
Okay. Guilty.
318
00:16:26,611 --> 00:16:30,197
I don't know this reference!
319
00:16:30,198 --> 00:16:33,034
Is this from a Spider-Man?
320
00:16:38,831 --> 00:16:40,707
What took you so long?
321
00:16:40,708 --> 00:16:43,293
You dragged all that stuff
out to your lawn
322
00:16:43,294 --> 00:16:45,003
just waiting for this moment?
323
00:16:45,004 --> 00:16:48,131
Nah, I'm getting a jump
on the next big trash day.
324
00:16:48,132 --> 00:16:49,966
So, what, you're mad 'cause people
325
00:16:49,967 --> 00:16:52,093
have been enjoying my Ping-Pong table?
326
00:16:52,094 --> 00:16:54,846
No, I'm mad they've been
enjoying my Ping-Pong table.
327
00:16:54,847 --> 00:16:57,599
- Peter, you're acting like a child.
- No, I'm not.
328
00:16:57,600 --> 00:16:59,768
So let's solve this like children.
329
00:16:59,769 --> 00:17:02,062
A game of Ping-Pong for the table.
330
00:17:02,063 --> 00:17:03,940
Whoever wins keeps it.
331
00:17:04,857 --> 00:17:06,275
You're on.
332
00:17:09,612 --> 00:17:11,404
Oh, wait, if we want
to have a fair match,
333
00:17:11,405 --> 00:17:13,698
we're gonna need a referee.
334
00:17:13,699 --> 00:17:15,200
What took you so long?
335
00:17:15,201 --> 00:17:16,910
It's my third time tonight
336
00:17:16,911 --> 00:17:18,662
so it's taking longer.
337
00:17:18,663 --> 00:17:20,205
Not you, Chris.
338
00:17:28,631 --> 00:17:31,049
♪ I been in a cave ♪
339
00:17:31,050 --> 00:17:33,051
♪ 40 days ♪
340
00:17:33,052 --> 00:17:34,553
♪ Only a spark ♪
341
00:17:34,554 --> 00:17:36,805
♪ To light my way ♪
342
00:17:36,806 --> 00:17:39,391
♪ I want to give out ♪
343
00:17:39,392 --> 00:17:41,309
♪ I want to give in ♪
344
00:17:41,310 --> 00:17:43,562
♪ This is our crime ♪
345
00:17:43,563 --> 00:17:46,439
♪ This is our sin ♪
346
00:17:46,440 --> 00:17:48,400
♪ But I still believe ♪
347
00:17:48,401 --> 00:17:50,318
♪ I still believe ♪
348
00:17:50,319 --> 00:17:52,153
♪ Through the pain ♪
349
00:17:52,154 --> 00:17:55,156
♪ And through the grief ♪
350
00:17:55,157 --> 00:17:59,661
♪ Through the lies, through the storms ♪
351
00:17:59,662 --> 00:18:02,163
♪ Through the cries ♪
352
00:18:02,164 --> 00:18:03,331
♪ And through the wars ♪
353
00:18:03,332 --> 00:18:05,668
♪ Oh, I still believe ♪
354
00:18:12,174 --> 00:18:13,926
♪ I still believe. ♪
355
00:18:34,780 --> 00:18:38,200
All right, Peter, game point.
356
00:19:04,769 --> 00:19:07,270
I gave Peter the biggest softball tee
357
00:19:07,271 --> 00:19:09,606
you could possibly give to an opponent,
358
00:19:09,607 --> 00:19:11,107
giving him the advantage.
359
00:19:11,108 --> 00:19:13,526
The truth is, after the first day,
360
00:19:13,527 --> 00:19:17,030
Ping-Pong was the greatest
thing that had ever happened to me.
361
00:19:17,031 --> 00:19:20,241
But by day five,
I was so sick of playing Ping-Pong
362
00:19:20,242 --> 00:19:22,911
and having people at my house,
I was ready
363
00:19:22,912 --> 00:19:25,705
to shove that bitch
into the Fargo wood chipper.
364
00:19:33,839 --> 00:19:36,132
I'm sorry about the table, Cleveland.
365
00:19:36,133 --> 00:19:38,468
And I'm sorry I've been such a jerk.
366
00:19:38,469 --> 00:19:39,636
It's okay.
367
00:19:39,637 --> 00:19:41,638
I can't believe we let a silly table
368
00:19:41,639 --> 00:19:43,766
come between our friendship.
369
00:19:45,267 --> 00:19:47,352
Ladies and gentlemen, we have a draw.
370
00:19:47,353 --> 00:19:50,731
- Oh, come on.
- Yeah, well, it was a waste of time.
371
00:19:53,651 --> 00:19:55,652
So, who gets the Ping-Pong table?
372
00:19:55,653 --> 00:19:57,862
I guess it's no one's table now.
373
00:19:57,863 --> 00:19:59,907
That's all I wanted.
374
00:20:06,914 --> 00:20:09,208
My head.
375
00:20:10,459 --> 00:20:13,712
Brian, you stayed by my side
all night long?
376
00:20:13,713 --> 00:20:16,799
I did. It's kind of what dogs do.
377
00:20:17,967 --> 00:20:19,759
Paw.
378
00:20:19,760 --> 00:20:23,097
Good dog, Brian. Very good dog.
379
00:20:36,986 --> 00:20:40,280
Alexa, play music
that sounds like I'm on drugs.
380
00:20:40,281 --> 00:20:42,824
Playing the last 45 quavery seconds
381
00:20:42,825 --> 00:20:44,534
of "Crimson and Clover."
382
00:20:44,535 --> 00:20:47,537
♪ Crimson and clover ♪
383
00:20:47,538 --> 00:20:50,457
♪ Over and over ♪
384
00:20:50,458 --> 00:20:53,418
♪ Crimson and clover ♪
385
00:20:53,419 --> 00:20:56,045
♪ Over and over ♪
386
00:20:56,046 --> 00:20:59,048
♪ Crimson and clover ♪
387
00:20:59,049 --> 00:21:01,594
♪ Over and over. ♪
27184
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish (Latin American)
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof