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1
00:00:02,352 --> 00:00:04,305
Angelenos head into day five
2
00:00:04,390 --> 00:00:06,882
of record heat
and a citywide power outage.
3
00:00:08,406 --> 00:00:10,335
If you think this is great,
4
00:00:11,101 --> 00:00:12,994
wait till I show you the ocean.
5
00:00:24,765 --> 00:00:26,282
I think she's gonna be fine.
6
00:00:26,367 --> 00:00:28,343
- But how are you doing?
- Shaky.
7
00:00:28,984 --> 00:00:30,790
I just feel like
the adrenaline's wearing off.
8
00:00:30,875 --> 00:00:32,280
Then you should get her home.
9
00:00:32,458 --> 00:00:35,050
I bet you both could use
a good night's sleep.
10
00:00:35,444 --> 00:00:36,660
Hi.
11
00:00:38,523 --> 00:00:40,430
I am sure
12
00:00:40,556 --> 00:00:42,656
that you're confused
13
00:00:43,885 --> 00:00:45,827
and hurt and...
14
00:00:46,352 --> 00:00:48,669
and probably really scared.
15
00:00:52,330 --> 00:00:55,089
I don't...
really know what to say.
16
00:00:56,062 --> 00:00:58,711
You don't need to go
to the police,
17
00:00:59,562 --> 00:01:01,804
or come looking for me.
18
00:01:05,566 --> 00:01:09,320
I'm not in any danger,
and no one is making me do this.
19
00:01:13,999 --> 00:01:16,658
But Jee is not safe with me.
20
00:01:20,249 --> 00:01:22,833
Not now and maybe...
21
00:01:25,556 --> 00:01:28,265
I know that you're gonna take
really good care of her.
22
00:01:32,234 --> 00:01:34,898
And she's better off
without me.
23
00:01:36,975 --> 00:01:38,609
I love you.
24
00:01:41,136 --> 00:01:42,921
I love both of you.
25
00:01:45,213 --> 00:01:47,439
And I'm really sorry.
26
00:01:58,393 --> 00:02:01,133
- What is going on?
- Maddie, what did you do to him?
27
00:02:01,218 --> 00:02:02,602
Where did you get that?
28
00:02:02,687 --> 00:02:04,127
You should have left it
where it was.
29
00:02:04,274 --> 00:02:06,266
Do you think this was my fault?
30
00:02:06,351 --> 00:02:07,639
No, it was my fault.
31
00:02:07,879 --> 00:02:09,061
That's right.
32
00:02:09,163 --> 00:02:11,436
You're never the one
getting left behind.
33
00:02:11,736 --> 00:02:13,710
You're the one who leaves.
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00:02:14,618 --> 00:02:16,601
If something was to happen
to you or her,
35
00:02:16,733 --> 00:02:18,082
I can't carry that, Maddie.
36
00:02:18,167 --> 00:02:20,334
That will be the thing
that breaks me, so please...
37
00:02:33,421 --> 00:02:35,421
*9-1-1*
Season 05 Episode 12
38
00:02:35,552 --> 00:02:37,552
Episode Title: "Boston"
Aired on: March 28, 2022.
39
00:02:39,088 --> 00:02:41,939
Have you had
any suicidal thoughts recently?
40
00:02:42,033 --> 00:02:43,533
Yes.
41
00:02:43,760 --> 00:02:46,664
Frequently,
sometimes, or rarely?
42
00:02:46,749 --> 00:02:48,232
Past few months.
43
00:02:49,220 --> 00:02:52,656
Have you had suicidal thoughts
in your past?
44
00:02:53,978 --> 00:02:55,329
Sometimes.
45
00:02:55,863 --> 00:02:57,964
How long ago?
46
00:02:59,283 --> 00:03:01,718
I was in an abusive marriage.
47
00:03:03,204 --> 00:03:05,763
I had thoughts then,
but not like this.
48
00:03:07,559 --> 00:03:10,294
What about before that?
Growing up,
49
00:03:10,379 --> 00:03:13,305
did you have any feelings
of depression?
50
00:03:13,390 --> 00:03:15,964
- Suicidal ideations?
- Depression? Yeah.
51
00:03:16,050 --> 00:03:18,375
Off and on.
It started when I was a kid.
52
00:03:19,404 --> 00:03:21,738
At what age?
53
00:03:21,965 --> 00:03:23,359
I don't know, like, nine,
54
00:03:23,546 --> 00:03:26,351
- ten.
- You were very young.
55
00:03:26,773 --> 00:03:28,578
My brother died. He was sick.
56
00:03:28,663 --> 00:03:30,282
I'm sorry for your loss.
57
00:03:30,367 --> 00:03:32,586
That must've been hard
at such a young age.
58
00:03:32,671 --> 00:03:35,007
Is there a history of depression
in your family?
59
00:03:35,092 --> 00:03:37,140
My mom. She, uh...
60
00:03:38,572 --> 00:03:41,924
...talked a lot about wanting
to die after losing my brother.
61
00:03:42,921 --> 00:03:45,781
Do you engage in any form
of self-harm?
62
00:03:45,866 --> 00:03:47,207
No.
63
00:03:49,309 --> 00:03:53,007
But three days ago, I tried
to drown myself in the ocean.
64
00:03:56,342 --> 00:03:58,274
♪ The winter here's cold... ♪
65
00:03:58,359 --> 00:04:00,485
Okay, after Patty's
done taking your blood,
66
00:04:00,570 --> 00:04:02,960
we'll take you to get
an ECG and a CT scan,
67
00:04:03,097 --> 00:04:05,182
and then you can get some rest.
68
00:04:05,266 --> 00:04:07,024
What happens tomorrow?
69
00:04:07,118 --> 00:04:09,360
Breakfast starts at 7:00.
Meds at 8:00.
70
00:04:09,512 --> 00:04:11,704
Group starts at 9:00.
71
00:04:13,440 --> 00:04:16,210
♪ To long too far ♪
72
00:04:16,294 --> 00:04:18,628
♪ From home ♪
73
00:04:18,779 --> 00:04:22,523
♪ I feel just like I'm sinking ♪
74
00:04:22,616 --> 00:04:25,376
♪ And I claw ♪
75
00:04:25,470 --> 00:04:28,679
♪ For solid ground ♪
76
00:04:30,475 --> 00:04:34,685
♪ I'm pulled down
by the undertow ♪
77
00:04:35,721 --> 00:04:37,480
♪ I never thought ♪
78
00:04:37,565 --> 00:04:40,475
♪ I could feel so low ♪
79
00:04:40,931 --> 00:04:42,022
♪ And, oh... ♪
80
00:04:42,187 --> 00:04:45,039
Okay, and meds are at 8:00.
81
00:04:45,124 --> 00:04:47,899
♪ Letting go ♪
82
00:04:50,829 --> 00:04:53,496
♪ If all of the strength ♪
83
00:04:53,647 --> 00:04:56,557
♪ And all of the courage ♪
84
00:04:56,650 --> 00:04:58,650
♪ Come and lift me ♪
85
00:04:58,744 --> 00:05:00,372
♪ From this place ♪
86
00:05:00,529 --> 00:05:02,580
You should eat something.
87
00:05:02,665 --> 00:05:05,349
♪ I know I can love you... ♪
88
00:05:05,457 --> 00:05:07,013
Ms. Buckley,
89
00:05:07,098 --> 00:05:09,436
your TSH levels are borderline.
90
00:05:09,528 --> 00:05:12,022
Do you have family history
of thyroid issues?
91
00:05:12,107 --> 00:05:14,208
- Not that I'm aware of.
- Hmm.
92
00:05:14,607 --> 00:05:16,514
Although, my mom and I don't
talk about stuff like that,
93
00:05:16,598 --> 00:05:19,865
or... anything really.
94
00:05:20,169 --> 00:05:23,036
Okay.
Let's run some more tests.
95
00:05:23,844 --> 00:05:26,480
♪ It's better this way ♪
96
00:05:27,013 --> 00:05:28,772
♪ I say... ♪
97
00:05:29,130 --> 00:05:30,785
Doctor's ordered another test.
98
00:05:30,869 --> 00:05:34,036
- More blood? Seriously?
- You might wish it were blood.
99
00:05:35,522 --> 00:05:37,356
You-you want me to pee in that?
100
00:05:37,441 --> 00:05:40,411
For the next 24 hours.
101
00:05:41,771 --> 00:05:44,714
♪ Hurts us all the more... ♪
102
00:05:44,865 --> 00:05:47,775
Postpartum thyroiditis?
How did I miss that?
103
00:05:47,868 --> 00:05:50,212
At first, your thyroid
is over active.
104
00:05:50,296 --> 00:05:53,705
The symptoms can feel like
typical baby blues.
105
00:05:53,799 --> 00:05:56,032
Anxiety, insomnia, irritability.
106
00:05:56,117 --> 00:05:59,415
Looks like the stress
of having a newborn, but then
107
00:05:59,500 --> 00:06:02,868
it starts to slow down,
or in your case, shut down.
108
00:06:02,953 --> 00:06:06,281
So, I-I'm just... cured?
109
00:06:06,414 --> 00:06:07,993
Well, now that we have
110
00:06:08,078 --> 00:06:10,433
identified the underlying
condition, we can get you
111
00:06:10,518 --> 00:06:13,125
started on some hormone therapy.
112
00:06:13,938 --> 00:06:15,346
Maddie, you all right?
113
00:06:15,440 --> 00:06:17,257
Yeah, I'm... relieved.
114
00:06:17,650 --> 00:06:19,000
Since having her,
115
00:06:19,085 --> 00:06:20,945
I didn't know what
was wrong with me, so...
116
00:06:21,406 --> 00:06:24,097
I guess now there is an answer.
117
00:06:24,392 --> 00:06:26,117
Yeah.
118
00:06:26,921 --> 00:06:28,479
Okay.
119
00:06:32,254 --> 00:06:33,603
You're transferring me?
120
00:06:33,728 --> 00:06:35,442
You're responding well
to the treatment.
121
00:06:35,527 --> 00:06:38,195
I think it's time to move you
to the outpatient program
122
00:06:38,280 --> 00:06:40,548
at the women's center.
123
00:06:40,632 --> 00:06:42,557
This is good news, Maddie.
124
00:06:43,268 --> 00:06:44,951
You get to go home.
125
00:06:45,086 --> 00:06:46,479
Yeah.
126
00:06:46,735 --> 00:06:48,443
Great.
127
00:06:54,237 --> 00:06:55,822
So now what?
128
00:06:55,906 --> 00:06:58,573
- Let's take a walk.
- Okay.
129
00:06:58,799 --> 00:07:00,313
So, are you from Boston?
130
00:07:00,398 --> 00:07:02,903
Yeah, born and raised
in Roxbury. You?
131
00:07:02,987 --> 00:07:04,487
Pennsylvania. Now, California.
132
00:07:04,639 --> 00:07:07,834
What brought you here? Plenty
of good hospitals in California.
133
00:07:07,918 --> 00:07:10,503
I trained at this hospital.
134
00:07:10,587 --> 00:07:12,338
I used to be a nurse.
135
00:07:12,422 --> 00:07:13,748
So, why'd you quit?
136
00:07:13,832 --> 00:07:15,832
Just got to be too much.
137
00:07:15,984 --> 00:07:17,317
I get that.
138
00:07:17,502 --> 00:07:19,982
Some of these patients will make
you question your career path.
139
00:07:20,079 --> 00:07:22,097
Present company excluded.
140
00:07:22,182 --> 00:07:23,198
Ah, thank you.
141
00:07:23,508 --> 00:07:25,781
But I still think
the good outweighs the bad.
142
00:07:25,953 --> 00:07:29,813
Helping people, being able to
watch them heal and get better.
143
00:07:30,923 --> 00:07:33,026
I'm talking about you,
by the way.
144
00:07:33,110 --> 00:07:35,184
You really think that
I'm getting better?
145
00:07:35,337 --> 00:07:39,100
I am no doctor,
but I've been where you are,
146
00:07:39,185 --> 00:07:41,351
and I think
you're getting stronger.
147
00:07:41,952 --> 00:07:44,953
You're stronger
than you think you are, Maddie.
148
00:07:47,624 --> 00:07:49,208
We do a lot of short-term.
149
00:07:49,292 --> 00:07:51,711
Visiting nurses
needing a place to crash.
150
00:07:51,795 --> 00:07:53,672
- It's not fancy, but...
- It's fine.
151
00:07:53,757 --> 00:07:54,796
- I'll take it.
- Great.
152
00:07:54,947 --> 00:07:56,873
I just need you
to fill out some paperwork.
153
00:07:57,025 --> 00:08:00,093
Uh, what if I just pay
in advance? Six months.
154
00:08:04,135 --> 00:08:07,228
Are you part of the program
over at the hospital?
155
00:08:07,313 --> 00:08:09,080
Yeah.
156
00:08:13,057 --> 00:08:15,142
I know he means well,
157
00:08:15,226 --> 00:08:16,977
but I'm so tired of him
trying to help.
158
00:08:17,061 --> 00:08:20,155
I can't just turn that frown
upside down, Jim.
159
00:08:20,382 --> 00:08:23,399
Maybe you can bring Jim to our
next friends and family session.
160
00:08:23,551 --> 00:08:24,985
Okay.
161
00:08:25,069 --> 00:08:26,654
Well, that's it for today.
162
00:08:26,738 --> 00:08:29,873
Thank you all.
I'll see you on Thursday.
163
00:08:40,179 --> 00:08:42,449
So, where are they all
rushing off to?
164
00:08:42,593 --> 00:08:45,622
Oh, uh, school pickup,
daycare, the usual.
165
00:08:45,707 --> 00:08:47,141
Not you?
166
00:08:47,226 --> 00:08:49,575
My daughter's with her dad.
167
00:08:49,669 --> 00:08:51,554
Can't see her right now.
168
00:08:52,327 --> 00:08:53,674
Me either.
169
00:08:54,666 --> 00:08:55,987
Oh, no, no.
170
00:08:56,072 --> 00:08:57,467
There's better coffee
down the street.
171
00:08:57,551 --> 00:09:00,410
Um... Do you want
to go grab some?
172
00:09:00,680 --> 00:09:03,114
If you don't have
anywhere else to be.
173
00:09:06,036 --> 00:09:09,120
I have nowhere else to go.
174
00:09:24,888 --> 00:09:26,963
Keep going.
175
00:09:27,057 --> 00:09:28,130
Come to Daddy.
176
00:09:28,225 --> 00:09:32,020
That's it.
You're doing it.
177
00:09:32,105 --> 00:09:34,722
You're doing it, Jee-Yun.
178
00:09:34,806 --> 00:09:38,316
Wait till Mommy sees this.
She's gonna be so proud.
179
00:09:38,693 --> 00:09:40,746
No, wait. Don't touch that.
180
00:09:54,066 --> 00:09:56,233
Keep going.
181
00:09:56,327 --> 00:09:57,503
Come to Daddy.
182
00:09:57,587 --> 00:09:59,829
That's it. You're doing it.
183
00:09:59,923 --> 00:10:02,341
You're doing it, Jee-Yun.
184
00:10:02,878 --> 00:10:06,505
Wait till Mommy sees this.
She's gonna be so proud.
185
00:10:09,814 --> 00:10:11,497
Maddie?
186
00:10:11,582 --> 00:10:13,352
Thank God. Are-are you okay?
187
00:10:13,566 --> 00:10:15,661
Why is Chimney in Utah?
188
00:10:15,755 --> 00:10:16,914
He left town looking for you.
189
00:10:16,998 --> 00:10:18,006
Found out what happened
to Jee-Yun...
190
00:10:18,090 --> 00:10:20,008
I told you not to tell him.
191
00:10:20,092 --> 00:10:21,936
No, he-he figured it out
on his own. Wait a minute,
192
00:10:22,020 --> 00:10:23,945
h-how do you know
where Chimney is?
193
00:10:24,096 --> 00:10:25,780
Did... did you talk to him?
194
00:10:25,931 --> 00:10:28,776
He emailed me a video.
I guess Jee's started crawling.
195
00:10:28,860 --> 00:10:31,056
Maddie, please just
196
00:10:31,141 --> 00:10:33,763
tell me where you are.
197
00:10:33,848 --> 00:10:35,031
I can come and get you.
198
00:10:35,117 --> 00:10:37,109
I-I-I can send Chimney,
whatever you want.
199
00:10:37,201 --> 00:10:40,168
We just, we need to know
that you're safe.
200
00:10:40,379 --> 00:10:42,302
I am safe. I'm just...
201
00:10:42,387 --> 00:10:45,705
Not ready, not yet.
202
00:10:47,879 --> 00:10:50,713
Uh, I got to go, okay? Love you.
203
00:10:53,959 --> 00:10:55,459
So, you're freaking out
204
00:10:55,628 --> 00:10:58,099
over the Old North Church bell?
205
00:10:58,184 --> 00:11:00,412
I can't see him yet.
I'm not ready.
206
00:11:00,497 --> 00:11:02,324
What-what-what do you mean,
you're not ready?
207
00:11:02,408 --> 00:11:04,435
I'm not ready to go home.
208
00:11:04,519 --> 00:11:07,895
I still have so much
that I have to work through.
209
00:11:07,980 --> 00:11:09,507
I'm just not ready
to face all that.
210
00:11:09,592 --> 00:11:10,924
Maddie, are...
211
00:11:11,009 --> 00:11:13,496
are you afraid of your ex?
Is he...
212
00:11:13,581 --> 00:11:16,415
God, no. No, he would never...
213
00:11:17,198 --> 00:11:19,116
But I do think
he probably hates me.
214
00:11:19,200 --> 00:11:21,409
Why would he hate you?
215
00:11:23,898 --> 00:11:26,624
I almost killed our daughter.
216
00:11:27,422 --> 00:11:29,531
I was giving her a bath.
I guess I...
217
00:11:29,987 --> 00:11:33,231
nodded off. She slipped
under the water and...
218
00:11:33,809 --> 00:11:35,411
Oh, God.
219
00:11:36,441 --> 00:11:38,377
What kind of mom does that?
220
00:11:39,066 --> 00:11:40,606
Um...
221
00:11:40,793 --> 00:11:42,734
The-the week before
222
00:11:42,898 --> 00:11:46,927
I met you, I was
finishing up a 28-day
223
00:11:47,324 --> 00:11:50,151
court-mandated rehab program.
224
00:11:50,306 --> 00:11:52,139
I got a DUI.
225
00:11:52,224 --> 00:11:54,074
Um...
226
00:11:54,159 --> 00:11:56,379
My-my-my son
227
00:11:56,522 --> 00:11:58,504
was in the backseat.
228
00:11:59,348 --> 00:12:01,315
I-I swear, I swear I never
229
00:12:01,432 --> 00:12:03,933
meant to put him in any danger.
230
00:12:04,061 --> 00:12:06,238
I...
231
00:12:06,322 --> 00:12:07,832
I was just so
232
00:12:07,916 --> 00:12:09,823
overwhelmed and...
233
00:12:09,918 --> 00:12:11,560
You were self-medicating.
234
00:12:11,644 --> 00:12:13,327
That doesn't make you
a bad person.
235
00:12:13,479 --> 00:12:15,414
It's the only way
I know how to deal
236
00:12:15,498 --> 00:12:17,340
when things get hard.
237
00:12:18,296 --> 00:12:21,215
Now, my-my ex
won't let me see my son.
238
00:12:21,487 --> 00:12:23,422
I have to prove...
239
00:12:23,506 --> 00:12:26,840
That I am not a danger anymore.
240
00:12:26,935 --> 00:12:30,095
I miss him so much.
241
00:12:30,179 --> 00:12:32,939
Maddie,
242
00:12:33,157 --> 00:12:35,488
please stay. Please.
243
00:12:35,580 --> 00:12:37,602
I...
244
00:12:37,687 --> 00:12:41,906
I think you're probably the only
friend I have right now.
245
00:12:43,062 --> 00:12:44,980
No one else,
246
00:12:45,119 --> 00:12:47,678
no one else knows
what this is like.
247
00:12:47,771 --> 00:12:51,031
I just want to get better
for her.
248
00:12:51,184 --> 00:12:53,292
I know, I know, and we...
249
00:12:53,377 --> 00:12:55,119
we can help each other. Okay?
250
00:12:55,279 --> 00:12:58,382
- Get better together.
- Okay.
251
00:12:58,466 --> 00:13:00,040
Then we both go home.
252
00:13:00,193 --> 00:13:02,026
Yeah.
253
00:13:02,119 --> 00:13:03,552
Okay.
254
00:13:13,422 --> 00:13:14,965
Boston?
255
00:13:15,059 --> 00:13:17,552
Yeah, Buck is convinced
he heard the bells
256
00:13:17,637 --> 00:13:20,237
of the Old North Church in the
background when she called.
257
00:13:20,379 --> 00:13:22,630
The "One, if by land, two,
if by sea" church?
258
00:13:22,715 --> 00:13:24,825
As far as leads go,
is that a lead?
259
00:13:24,910 --> 00:13:26,333
It's a place to start.
260
00:13:26,417 --> 00:13:29,441
So, how's my apartment?
You trash the place yet?
261
00:13:29,555 --> 00:13:31,215
Uh...
262
00:13:31,574 --> 00:13:33,888
It's fine, uh, but you seriously
263
00:13:33,973 --> 00:13:35,746
need to cancel
the diaper subscription, okay?
264
00:13:35,853 --> 00:13:37,027
I'm running out of room here.
265
00:13:37,112 --> 00:13:39,204
Well, that explains
where they are.
266
00:13:40,605 --> 00:13:42,508
Why do you think Maddie
went to that church?
267
00:13:42,659 --> 00:13:44,613
I don't remember her
ever going to mass.
268
00:13:44,730 --> 00:13:46,846
No, but I hear there's
a pretty great pizza joint
269
00:13:47,090 --> 00:13:49,099
- around the corner.
- So, where you staying?
270
00:13:49,605 --> 00:13:50,843
♪ One night to be confused... ♪
271
00:13:50,927 --> 00:13:54,579
Room rate's a lot lower than
what you're paying at the hotel.
272
00:13:54,671 --> 00:13:56,287
You sure about this?
I mean, it feels like
273
00:13:56,371 --> 00:13:57,775
one hell of an imposition, Eli.
274
00:13:57,859 --> 00:14:01,343
Nah. We don't come down here
that much this time of year.
275
00:14:01,699 --> 00:14:04,864
Once opening day rolls around,
that's a different story.
276
00:14:06,425 --> 00:14:08,199
We'll be gone by April,
I promise.
277
00:14:08,284 --> 00:14:09,933
I just got to find Maddie first.
278
00:14:10,018 --> 00:14:11,777
You do your thing.
279
00:14:12,026 --> 00:14:13,192
Thanks.
280
00:14:13,338 --> 00:14:16,149
♪ To call for hands of above ♪
281
00:14:16,234 --> 00:14:19,187
♪ To lean on, wouldn't be... ♪
282
00:14:19,272 --> 00:14:21,455
So, the detective still said no?
283
00:14:21,607 --> 00:14:23,341
He said
there wasn't much he could do,
284
00:14:23,425 --> 00:14:25,451
but he did take
Buck's statement,
285
00:14:25,536 --> 00:14:28,770
and now he will file
a missing persons report.
286
00:14:28,863 --> 00:14:30,724
- But that's it.
- Well, we have
287
00:14:30,809 --> 00:14:33,617
no proof that she's in Boston,
Chimney, or even anywhere
288
00:14:33,710 --> 00:14:36,453
- in the state of Massachusetts.
- Commonwealth.
289
00:14:36,996 --> 00:14:38,927
- What?
- It's the Commonwealth
290
00:14:39,012 --> 00:14:40,641
of Massachusetts. Apparently,
291
00:14:40,735 --> 00:14:42,387
they really care
about that here.
292
00:14:46,785 --> 00:14:48,052
I'm coming.
293
00:14:48,395 --> 00:14:50,729
I know, I know.
294
00:14:50,814 --> 00:14:52,665
Aw...
295
00:14:55,991 --> 00:14:57,334
I know, I know.
296
00:14:57,418 --> 00:15:01,829
♪ To lean on, wouldn't begood enough... ♪
297
00:15:01,997 --> 00:15:04,777
Yeah, I wish your mom
was here, too.
298
00:15:04,862 --> 00:15:07,585
♪ To call for hands of above ♪
299
00:15:07,670 --> 00:15:10,180
♪ To lean on ♪
300
00:15:10,264 --> 00:15:13,682
♪ Wouldn't be good enough ♪
301
00:15:15,085 --> 00:15:16,595
♪ And you... ♪
302
00:15:16,777 --> 00:15:19,163
- Hey, Gail.
- Good evening, Mr. Han.
303
00:15:19,256 --> 00:15:20,624
I'd ask what brings you
in here today,
304
00:15:20,708 --> 00:15:22,126
but I'm afraid
you're about to tell me.
305
00:15:22,210 --> 00:15:24,795
I'm just doing the rounds.
Making sure you haven't admitted
306
00:15:24,879 --> 00:15:26,966
a Maddie Buckley
or a Maddie Kendall
307
00:15:27,051 --> 00:15:28,355
- as a patient.
- Mr. Han...
308
00:15:28,440 --> 00:15:30,824
I guess I'll hit
the morgue next.
309
00:15:33,737 --> 00:15:37,043
Been to the women's clinic yet?
Next building over.
310
00:15:37,262 --> 00:15:39,783
They specialize
in postpartum depression.
311
00:15:39,877 --> 00:15:41,332
Thank you.
312
00:15:41,480 --> 00:15:43,738
Good luck.
313
00:15:43,847 --> 00:15:46,106
♪ Of above ♪
314
00:15:46,302 --> 00:15:47,527
♪ To lean on ♪
315
00:15:47,612 --> 00:15:50,964
♪ Wouldn't be good enough ♪
316
00:15:51,049 --> 00:15:52,713
♪ To lean on ♪
317
00:15:52,798 --> 00:15:54,309
♪ To call for hands ♪
318
00:15:54,394 --> 00:15:56,137
♪ Of above ♪
319
00:15:56,222 --> 00:15:58,066
♪ To lean on ♪
320
00:15:58,151 --> 00:16:01,620
♪ Wouldn't be good enough. ♪
321
00:16:05,537 --> 00:16:07,168
There you go, Jee-Jee.
322
00:16:07,496 --> 00:16:09,329
It's your favorite.
323
00:16:09,414 --> 00:16:11,015
Come on, honey.
324
00:16:11,167 --> 00:16:12,371
Come on.
325
00:16:12,631 --> 00:16:14,200
It's your favorite.
It's vanilla bean...
326
00:16:14,285 --> 00:16:15,763
You know, this seems like
the part of the movie
327
00:16:15,847 --> 00:16:17,168
where the detective becomes
328
00:16:17,253 --> 00:16:18,546
a little too obsessed
with the case,
329
00:16:18,630 --> 00:16:20,630
and his boss
has to send him home.
330
00:16:21,084 --> 00:16:23,762
First off, you're not my boss.
331
00:16:23,846 --> 00:16:25,746
And, second, if we're
overstaying our welcome
332
00:16:25,831 --> 00:16:27,145
- with you and Molly...
- No.
333
00:16:27,230 --> 00:16:30,262
I don't care if you stay
in the basement forever. Okay?
334
00:16:30,347 --> 00:16:32,698
Though, I may have to start
charging you rent.
335
00:16:34,189 --> 00:16:36,285
But I don't think
this is healthy, Howie.
336
00:16:36,433 --> 00:16:38,535
I know it sounds crazy,
337
00:16:38,619 --> 00:16:40,059
but I just got
this feeling that,
338
00:16:40,144 --> 00:16:41,585
one day, she's gonna walk out
339
00:16:41,670 --> 00:16:42,945
of that building,
340
00:16:43,607 --> 00:16:45,542
and I want to be here
when she does,
341
00:16:45,626 --> 00:16:47,201
even if it's not today.
342
00:16:47,360 --> 00:16:48,324
Come on, baby.
343
00:16:48,409 --> 00:16:49,928
You know that's not
how it works, right?
344
00:16:50,012 --> 00:16:52,631
- What?
- The universe.
345
00:16:52,716 --> 00:16:54,836
You've been sitting here
for months trying to manifest
346
00:16:54,952 --> 00:16:57,711
Maddie walking out
of those doors, but...
347
00:16:57,926 --> 00:17:00,121
you know, have you considered
maybe there's a...
348
00:17:00,206 --> 00:17:02,363
a cosmic tab
you got to pay first?
349
00:17:02,449 --> 00:17:03,894
I'm gonna go with "no"
'cause I have no idea
350
00:17:03,978 --> 00:17:05,794
what the hell
you're talking about.
351
00:17:05,888 --> 00:17:09,315
Look, you need to stop being
so obsessed with what you want.
352
00:17:09,466 --> 00:17:10,874
Okay, you need
to get off the bench
353
00:17:10,968 --> 00:17:12,968
and get back into the world.
It needs you.
354
00:17:13,053 --> 00:17:15,156
To do what?
355
00:17:15,590 --> 00:17:17,434
To be of service.
356
00:17:19,051 --> 00:17:21,568
Maybe the universe
will return the favor.
357
00:17:21,739 --> 00:17:24,657
Or give up and go home.
358
00:17:26,726 --> 00:17:29,084
- Come on.
- All right.
359
00:17:32,998 --> 00:17:35,250
"Wild Rover" by
Dropkick Murphys playing..
360
00:17:41,924 --> 00:17:43,902
♪ And it's no ♪
361
00:17:43,987 --> 00:17:46,487
♪ Nay, never ♪
362
00:17:47,004 --> 00:17:49,596
♪ No, nay, never no more... ♪
363
00:17:49,690 --> 00:17:52,841
Let us bow our heads.
As we gather
364
00:17:52,935 --> 00:17:54,853
this morning to honor
St. Patrick,
365
00:17:54,937 --> 00:17:57,196
let us give thanks
for this glorious day
366
00:17:57,347 --> 00:17:58,731
and the chance to come together
367
00:17:58,816 --> 00:18:00,574
as Faith of Men.
368
00:18:01,777 --> 00:18:05,197
I'm not feeling so good.
Ever since rehearsal
369
00:18:05,281 --> 00:18:08,942
this morning, i-it's like I'm...
I'm having trouble breathing.
370
00:18:09,026 --> 00:18:11,618
Well, what do you want me to do?
Just rally.
371
00:18:11,771 --> 00:18:13,707
We still got the parade.
372
00:18:13,792 --> 00:18:15,582
Thank you, Lord,
for this time together,
373
00:18:15,715 --> 00:18:17,198
and for continuing to guide us
374
00:18:17,283 --> 00:18:20,194
and inspire us as we carry out
your good work.
375
00:18:20,279 --> 00:18:22,285
- ...swelled up just like a melon.
- Shut up!
376
00:18:22,370 --> 00:18:24,621
Nobody wants to hear
about your glory days.
377
00:18:24,892 --> 00:18:27,219
Stuff it, O'Malley.
Ain't nobody talking to you.
378
00:18:27,303 --> 00:18:29,035
Go to hell, jackass.
379
00:18:29,120 --> 00:18:30,598
Gentlemen, please. This is not
380
00:18:30,731 --> 00:18:33,190
how Faith of Men
are supposed to behave.
381
00:18:36,386 --> 00:18:37,811
Start playing.
382
00:18:37,896 --> 00:18:41,031
Maybe the music will
calm these idiots down.
383
00:18:51,143 --> 00:18:52,449
Oh, God. Murray!
384
00:19:02,178 --> 00:19:03,898
All right, let's make
a hole, guys.
385
00:19:03,989 --> 00:19:05,656
I'm confused.
Why are they serving beer
386
00:19:05,749 --> 00:19:07,600
- at a prayer breakfast?
- Eggs and kegs.
387
00:19:07,751 --> 00:19:10,354
- St. Patrick's Day tradition.
- If you say so.
388
00:19:10,669 --> 00:19:11,919
What happened here?
389
00:19:12,059 --> 00:19:13,723
Uh, he went down
while we were playing.
390
00:19:13,848 --> 00:19:15,396
Before that, he said
he was having trouble breathing.
391
00:19:15,480 --> 00:19:17,605
Randall, let's get him
on some oxygen.
392
00:19:22,434 --> 00:19:25,951
BP is extremely elevated,
160/95.
393
00:19:26,036 --> 00:19:29,129
Heart rate is rapid
and irregular.
394
00:19:30,015 --> 00:19:32,866
Legs and ankles also appear
to be swollen.
395
00:19:33,018 --> 00:19:35,340
Oh. Pitting edema.
396
00:19:35,425 --> 00:19:37,474
Could be possible
right-sided heart failure.
397
00:19:37,559 --> 00:19:38,715
Does your friend have a history
398
00:19:38,799 --> 00:19:40,292
- of heart trouble?
- No, not that I know of.
399
00:19:40,376 --> 00:19:41,692
- What about diabetes?
- No.
400
00:19:41,785 --> 00:19:43,193
He's not the healthiest guy,
but I never
401
00:19:43,277 --> 00:19:44,842
heard him mention
anything about diabetes.
402
00:19:44,926 --> 00:19:46,681
Um, he has had a cough
for a while.
403
00:19:46,766 --> 00:19:48,408
Cough.
404
00:19:52,014 --> 00:19:53,699
Getting a crackling sound.
405
00:19:53,915 --> 00:19:56,000
Sounds like serious lung damage.
Is he a smoker?
406
00:19:56,085 --> 00:19:57,410
Not Murray.
He never touched them.
407
00:19:57,495 --> 00:19:58,671
Maybe pulmonary fibrosis,
408
00:19:58,756 --> 00:20:00,175
but what would cause him
to go down now?
409
00:20:00,259 --> 00:20:01,652
Are you for real asking me?
410
00:20:01,787 --> 00:20:03,871
Because our volunteer training
didn't go that in depth.
411
00:20:03,955 --> 00:20:05,410
You're like, smart.
412
00:20:05,495 --> 00:20:08,182
You're volunteers?
I called the paramedics.
413
00:20:08,267 --> 00:20:10,618
And we arrived first 'cause
our tent is across the street.
414
00:20:10,703 --> 00:20:12,954
- Medical Volunteer Corps.
- Okay.
415
00:20:13,039 --> 00:20:14,785
Looks like he's coming around.
416
00:20:14,870 --> 00:20:16,942
Welcome back, Murray.
Let's figure out
417
00:20:17,027 --> 00:20:17,949
what's going on with your lungs.
418
00:20:18,034 --> 00:20:20,470
- Bagpipe lung.
- That can't be a real thing.
419
00:20:20,578 --> 00:20:22,570
Hypersensitivity pneumonitis,
420
00:20:22,655 --> 00:20:24,666
if you're looking
for the medical term.
421
00:20:24,751 --> 00:20:26,642
Happens to people
who play wind instruments,
422
00:20:26,727 --> 00:20:28,202
and also bagpipes.
423
00:20:30,131 --> 00:20:32,707
W-What are you doing?
You're gonna ruin his bagpipes.
424
00:20:32,792 --> 00:20:34,559
Yeah. Pretty sure
they're already ruined.
425
00:20:35,441 --> 00:20:37,835
I'm gonna need a bio hazard bag.
These are full of mold.
426
00:20:37,972 --> 00:20:39,725
You've been inhaling this
for God knows how long.
427
00:20:39,809 --> 00:20:41,028
It's wreaked havoc
on your lungs.
428
00:20:41,112 --> 00:20:42,911
When was the last time
you cleaned those things?
429
00:20:42,995 --> 00:20:44,412
Never.
430
00:20:44,746 --> 00:20:45,811
That'll do it.
431
00:20:46,270 --> 00:20:47,980
You're lucky. If you kept going,
432
00:20:48,074 --> 00:20:49,730
these bagpipes
would've killed you.
433
00:20:50,184 --> 00:20:52,002
They're gonna do X-rays
and blood work
434
00:20:52,153 --> 00:20:54,997
at the hospital,
probably put you on
435
00:20:55,293 --> 00:20:58,043
corticosteroids to reverse
the damage.
436
00:21:03,923 --> 00:21:04,848
Bagpipe lung.
437
00:21:04,999 --> 00:21:06,509
First time I've seen that.
438
00:21:06,593 --> 00:21:07,833
Buckle up, my friend.
439
00:21:07,927 --> 00:21:09,771
You're about to have
a lot of firsts today.
440
00:21:10,324 --> 00:21:11,837
What do you mean
you're a volunteer?
441
00:21:11,931 --> 00:21:14,183
Boston Medical Volunteer Corps.
442
00:21:14,324 --> 00:21:15,933
It's mostly handing out
Band-Aids and
443
00:21:16,086 --> 00:21:18,010
bottles of water
to drunk people.
444
00:21:18,179 --> 00:21:19,678
There have been
a few doozies, though.
445
00:21:19,773 --> 00:21:21,023
You ever hear of bagpipe lung?
446
00:21:21,107 --> 00:21:23,175
Well, it sounds like
you're really settling in
447
00:21:23,260 --> 00:21:24,425
to life in Boston.
448
00:21:24,519 --> 00:21:26,520
Honestly, I really signed up
to keep busy.
449
00:21:26,605 --> 00:21:28,591
Just wish it really
kept me paid, too.
450
00:21:28,676 --> 00:21:31,033
My savings account balance
is getting pretty low.
451
00:21:31,117 --> 00:21:34,012
Well, you still have a full-time
job waiting for you here.
452
00:21:34,714 --> 00:21:36,035
Chim?
453
00:21:36,520 --> 00:21:38,374
People are starting
to ask questions.
454
00:21:38,458 --> 00:21:40,291
My answer is still
the same, Bobby.
455
00:21:40,376 --> 00:21:42,678
I'm not coming home without Maddie.
456
00:21:42,762 --> 00:21:44,305
All right, I got to go.
457
00:21:49,903 --> 00:21:51,402
When I came here, I didn't
458
00:21:51,487 --> 00:21:53,405
know what to expect.
459
00:21:53,714 --> 00:21:54,731
I felt so many
460
00:21:54,816 --> 00:21:55,901
terrible things about myself,
461
00:21:55,985 --> 00:21:58,578
I thought
everyone else would, too.
462
00:21:58,795 --> 00:21:59,855
Then, when I got here,
463
00:21:59,940 --> 00:22:04,028
um, I realized
I wasn't crazy or...
464
00:22:04,113 --> 00:22:05,366
alone.
465
00:22:06,260 --> 00:22:08,035
You guys healed me.
466
00:22:08,563 --> 00:22:09,998
You made me feel stronger,
467
00:22:10,082 --> 00:22:12,082
and I finally feel like
I'm ready to go home.
468
00:22:12,855 --> 00:22:15,251
So, I just wanted to say
thank you to all of you.
469
00:22:15,336 --> 00:22:17,904
I'm very grateful.
Es-Especially you, Kira.
470
00:22:19,740 --> 00:22:22,425
Oh, special shout-out.
471
00:22:24,321 --> 00:22:26,014
Lucky me.
472
00:22:26,098 --> 00:22:29,075
You were there
when I needed a friend.
473
00:22:29,160 --> 00:22:30,518
I couldn't have
done this without you.
474
00:22:30,602 --> 00:22:32,928
Hmm. Okay, let's all,
475
00:22:33,012 --> 00:22:36,255
let's all give her
a round of applause.
476
00:22:36,349 --> 00:22:39,598
I'm so glad
that you are fixed.
477
00:22:39,683 --> 00:22:41,895
I don't think that's what
Maddie's saying, Kira.
478
00:22:42,263 --> 00:22:44,607
None of us have it figured out.
If we did,
479
00:22:44,691 --> 00:22:46,841
- we wouldn't be here.
- Whatever.
480
00:22:46,934 --> 00:22:50,332
I am so happy for you.
481
00:22:50,417 --> 00:22:52,196
Okay? But, too bad
482
00:22:52,281 --> 00:22:55,098
for the rest of us who still
have problems.
483
00:22:56,424 --> 00:22:57,879
That's it, everyone.
484
00:22:58,051 --> 00:23:00,066
Have a great afternoon.
I'll see you next time.
485
00:23:09,215 --> 00:23:10,633
Hey, Kira, wait a second.
What was that?
486
00:23:10,717 --> 00:23:12,884
I'm really not in the mood
487
00:23:13,036 --> 00:23:14,770
- for a lecture.
- Okay, that's fine.
488
00:23:14,855 --> 00:23:15,879
I just wanted to check on you
489
00:23:15,963 --> 00:23:16,898
'cause you don't seem
like yourself.
490
00:23:16,982 --> 00:23:18,890
Mm. Maybe it's the depression.
491
00:23:18,984 --> 00:23:21,235
Maybe it's the whiskey.
492
00:23:21,319 --> 00:23:22,715
You're drunk.
493
00:23:22,800 --> 00:23:24,926
What do you care?
494
00:23:25,011 --> 00:23:26,420
You're leaving.
495
00:23:26,817 --> 00:23:30,410
My only support system's
just hightailing it out of here.
496
00:23:31,388 --> 00:23:34,916
I came here to get well
and to go home to my family.
497
00:23:35,000 --> 00:23:37,333
That was the plan,
for both of us.
498
00:23:39,337 --> 00:23:43,006
I've messed up too badly.
499
00:23:43,157 --> 00:23:45,008
I don't deserve to be a mom.
500
00:23:45,235 --> 00:23:47,844
Okay, you know what? I told
myself exactly that same thing
501
00:23:47,995 --> 00:23:50,829
six months ago, and I was wrong.
502
00:23:50,924 --> 00:23:52,433
I got better.
503
00:23:52,517 --> 00:23:53,683
You can, too.
504
00:23:53,834 --> 00:23:56,707
Not by this afternoon.
505
00:23:57,043 --> 00:23:58,117
Ugh.
506
00:23:58,431 --> 00:24:00,690
I have a supervised visitation.
507
00:24:00,841 --> 00:24:02,121
No, no, no. You can't, you can't
508
00:24:02,252 --> 00:24:04,009
- show up like this.
- I can't not show up.
509
00:24:04,103 --> 00:24:05,586
Okay, what time
is the appointment?
510
00:24:05,680 --> 00:24:08,448
Um... 3:00.
511
00:24:09,943 --> 00:24:12,285
Come on, I have an idea.
512
00:24:15,874 --> 00:24:18,023
What are you doing?
No, no, no, no.
513
00:24:18,117 --> 00:24:20,870
I-I-I cannot be admitted. No.
If my ex finds out,
514
00:24:20,954 --> 00:24:22,634
I won't be able to see my son.
I'm sorry...
515
00:24:22,772 --> 00:24:23,798
Okay, I'm not admitting you.
516
00:24:23,882 --> 00:24:24,789
I'm not admitting you.
I'm helping you.
517
00:24:24,941 --> 00:24:27,108
Sit right here.
518
00:24:27,201 --> 00:24:29,552
I'm gonna get you a banana bag.
It'll sober you up.
519
00:24:29,738 --> 00:24:31,213
I'll be right back.
520
00:24:32,304 --> 00:24:34,313
Maddie?
521
00:24:34,398 --> 00:24:37,007
Why is your face
on the bulletin board?
522
00:24:46,404 --> 00:24:48,112
What?
523
00:24:50,558 --> 00:24:52,075
That's you.
524
00:24:52,226 --> 00:24:54,662
Oh, my God,
he's still looking for me.
525
00:24:54,746 --> 00:24:57,247
I thought you said he hated you.
526
00:24:59,677 --> 00:25:01,402
You lied.
527
00:25:01,743 --> 00:25:03,910
- I didn't lie.
- All this time,
528
00:25:03,995 --> 00:25:06,598
I thought that we were
in the same boat.
529
00:25:07,441 --> 00:25:08,842
Being punished by our exes.
530
00:25:08,927 --> 00:25:11,410
Not being able
to-to see our kids.
531
00:25:11,832 --> 00:25:14,924
But you could've
gone back any time, right?
532
00:25:15,008 --> 00:25:18,601
I'm fighting like hell
to see my son,
533
00:25:18,686 --> 00:25:19,869
and you left them.
534
00:25:19,954 --> 00:25:21,120
I had to.
535
00:25:21,514 --> 00:25:24,192
Okay? It was dangerous
for her and for me, and I...
536
00:25:24,276 --> 00:25:27,145
I needed to get help
and to get better.
537
00:25:27,230 --> 00:25:30,277
Congratulations, Maddie.
538
00:25:31,508 --> 00:25:33,199
You're better.
539
00:25:38,848 --> 00:25:41,124
You don't need me anymore.
540
00:25:42,777 --> 00:25:44,627
Kira!
541
00:25:44,854 --> 00:25:47,522
Excuse me. Sorry.
542
00:25:47,615 --> 00:25:48,923
Sorry.
543
00:26:28,387 --> 00:26:32,810
Snake bite. Looks like
localized tissue damage.
544
00:26:32,895 --> 00:26:35,395
Let's immobilize his hand
and elevate it above his heart.
545
00:26:35,546 --> 00:26:37,713
Don't want it to swell
more than it is.
546
00:26:37,798 --> 00:26:38,873
Oh, no.
547
00:26:38,958 --> 00:26:41,129
The venom's making
my heart swell.
548
00:26:41,456 --> 00:26:43,197
Oh, I'm gonna die.
549
00:26:43,282 --> 00:26:45,559
No, I meant your hand,
and statistically speaking,
550
00:26:45,644 --> 00:26:46,964
people don't die
from snake bites.
551
00:26:47,104 --> 00:26:48,191
Stupidity,
552
00:26:48,276 --> 00:26:49,694
- that's another story.
- So, that's it?
553
00:26:49,778 --> 00:26:51,353
What about a tourniquet?
Or maybe
554
00:26:51,453 --> 00:26:52,825
we can cut it
and suck out the poison?
555
00:26:52,909 --> 00:26:54,927
That is exactly what you're
not supposed to do.
556
00:26:55,278 --> 00:26:56,953
- Antivenom is his best bet.
- Oh,
557
00:26:57,038 --> 00:26:58,011
- And I don't know about you,
- it stings!
558
00:26:58,095 --> 00:26:59,379
But I'm not packing any.
559
00:26:59,570 --> 00:27:00,487
That's not a bad idea.
560
00:27:00,598 --> 00:27:01,747
We should ask for that.
561
00:27:01,831 --> 00:27:03,749
Every year,
there's always some ass hat
562
00:27:03,833 --> 00:27:05,880
dressed as St. Patrick
pretending to drive the snakes
563
00:27:05,964 --> 00:27:06,887
out of Ireland.
564
00:27:06,972 --> 00:27:09,847
And I thought Cinco de Mayo
in Los Angeles was crazy.
565
00:27:13,493 --> 00:27:15,262
Hey. Kira, it's Maddie.
566
00:27:15,355 --> 00:27:16,537
Um, just, please,
567
00:27:16,790 --> 00:27:18,290
call me, okay? I...
568
00:27:18,579 --> 00:27:20,513
Just want to make sure
you're all right.
569
00:27:22,333 --> 00:27:24,527
- Thank you.
- Sir, I'm looking for a woman.
570
00:27:24,612 --> 00:27:26,051
She's late 30s. Blonde.
571
00:27:26,136 --> 00:27:27,724
About this tall
and probably drunk.
572
00:27:27,809 --> 00:27:28,949
Oh, a drunk woman.
573
00:27:29,034 --> 00:27:30,200
That narrows it down.
574
00:27:30,285 --> 00:27:32,719
You know it's
St. Patrick's Day, right?
575
00:27:34,809 --> 00:27:36,698
Lean forward a bit for me.
There you go.
576
00:27:36,792 --> 00:27:38,376
- If you could hold that, please.
- Nothing's broken.
577
00:27:38,460 --> 00:27:40,453
Looks like he's all yours.
578
00:27:40,537 --> 00:27:42,278
Thanks. Let's go.
579
00:27:42,371 --> 00:27:45,215
So this guy tried to
rob a bank with a stick?
580
00:27:45,300 --> 00:27:48,043
Uh, technically
it's a shillelagh.
581
00:27:48,128 --> 00:27:50,629
- And a rubber one at that.
- What were you thinking?
582
00:27:50,714 --> 00:27:53,207
She stole me pot o' gold.
583
00:27:53,533 --> 00:27:56,176
You know you're not actually
a leprechaun, right?
584
00:27:57,827 --> 00:27:59,385
Hey, Kira, call me.
585
00:27:59,470 --> 00:28:01,270
I'm really worried about you.
586
00:28:01,483 --> 00:28:03,891
Hey, I'm gonna go grab a lobster
roll from the food truck.
587
00:28:03,976 --> 00:28:05,121
- You want anything?
- Sure.
588
00:28:05,206 --> 00:28:06,691
Just make sure there's
no mayo on it.
589
00:28:06,965 --> 00:28:09,629
I sense you have no idea
what a lobster roll is.
590
00:28:09,754 --> 00:28:10,920
Just grab him one anyway.
591
00:28:11,072 --> 00:28:12,922
Three lobster rolls
coming up.
592
00:28:13,074 --> 00:28:16,511
So how is it?
Being of service again.
593
00:28:16,595 --> 00:28:20,597
Honestly, it's the best
I've felt in probably a year.
594
00:28:25,829 --> 00:28:28,496
Get in the car.
595
00:28:29,515 --> 00:28:31,349
Hey, watch it.
596
00:28:31,501 --> 00:28:33,269
Come on.
597
00:28:33,353 --> 00:28:35,612
Whoa. Is he all right?
598
00:28:35,697 --> 00:28:37,789
Look at this.
599
00:28:37,890 --> 00:28:39,724
Is that an axe?
600
00:28:39,879 --> 00:28:41,645
You gotta see this.
601
00:28:42,287 --> 00:28:44,285
Gabe. Gabe!
602
00:28:44,697 --> 00:28:46,541
Oh, my God, Gabe!
603
00:28:46,625 --> 00:28:48,042
You did this?
604
00:28:48,126 --> 00:28:49,842
We were axe throwing,
and he stumbled in front of me,
605
00:28:49,926 --> 00:28:51,961
and I-I hit him
instead of the target.
606
00:28:52,046 --> 00:28:53,919
No pulse. He's not breathing.
607
00:28:54,004 --> 00:28:55,303
I'd say start
compressions, but...
608
00:28:55,387 --> 00:28:57,051
There's an axe in his head?
609
00:28:57,426 --> 00:28:59,724
Randall, that sandwich board,
bring it over here!
610
00:28:59,809 --> 00:29:01,568
Okay. Okay, let's get him into
a seated position.
611
00:29:01,652 --> 00:29:03,535
I got his head.
612
00:29:05,551 --> 00:29:07,136
- What do I do?
- Randall, put the board
behind him.
613
00:29:07,220 --> 00:29:09,192
Eli will hold him up
while I do compressions.
614
00:29:09,277 --> 00:29:11,106
- What do I do?
- Okay, hold his head,
615
00:29:11,191 --> 00:29:12,975
- keep his airway clear.
- I can do that without
616
00:29:13,059 --> 00:29:14,651
looking at his head, right?
617
00:29:15,065 --> 00:29:16,582
Howie, on your count.
618
00:29:20,049 --> 00:29:22,082
Feels like old times,
doesn't it?
619
00:29:22,552 --> 00:29:24,661
Well, nobody's puked on me yet.
620
00:29:26,161 --> 00:29:28,937
- Oh, God.
- That is not an invitation, Randall.
621
00:29:30,184 --> 00:29:31,668
Pulse check.
622
00:29:31,996 --> 00:29:33,311
Pulse is back. We got him.
623
00:29:33,396 --> 00:29:35,171
Dispatch,
this is Paramedic Cobb.
624
00:29:35,322 --> 00:29:38,341
About to transport a young male
with an axe in his head
625
00:29:38,426 --> 00:29:40,077
to Mercy Shore Hospital.
626
00:29:40,161 --> 00:29:41,739
Okay, let's secure it
and move him.
627
00:29:41,824 --> 00:29:42,824
What can I do?
628
00:29:43,037 --> 00:29:44,138
You can take up chess.
629
00:29:44,223 --> 00:29:46,683
- Oh!
- Sorry.
630
00:29:46,834 --> 00:29:48,919
I hate this day.
631
00:29:51,931 --> 00:29:53,754
- Ah, Kira?
- No.
632
00:29:54,012 --> 00:29:55,863
This is the bartender
down at Father Sean's Pub.
633
00:29:55,947 --> 00:29:59,557
- I think your friend needs some help.
- Okay.
634
00:30:05,770 --> 00:30:09,038
Hey. Our axe man's
heading into surgery.
635
00:30:09,238 --> 00:30:12,895
Okay, great.
Oh, my shift's over.
636
00:30:13,168 --> 00:30:14,703
I should get back, maybe,
and turn in this vest.
637
00:30:14,787 --> 00:30:16,927
Oh, ride in the rig
with me. I'll drop you off.
638
00:30:17,011 --> 00:30:17,997
You sure?
639
00:30:18,082 --> 00:30:19,217
What if another call comes in?
640
00:30:19,301 --> 00:30:20,840
I'll let you use
the lights and sirens.
641
00:30:25,300 --> 00:30:27,374
Oh, God, she's puking.
642
00:30:27,581 --> 00:30:29,253
No. No, she's aspirating.
643
00:30:29,363 --> 00:30:30,826
Come on, we've got to
get her on her side.
644
00:30:30,910 --> 00:30:32,201
Kira?! Call 911.
645
00:30:32,286 --> 00:30:34,286
All right.
646
00:30:36,735 --> 00:30:38,468
- 911.
- Yes, I'm calling
647
00:30:38,552 --> 00:30:39,872
- Kira, come on. Come on, come on, come on.
- From Father Sean's Pub.
648
00:30:39,956 --> 00:30:41,809
We have a young woman
here who needs help.
649
00:30:41,894 --> 00:30:43,824
- We think she might be aspirating.
- Wake up.
650
00:30:43,949 --> 00:30:46,380
Good. Good! There's a unit
just down the block.
651
00:30:46,465 --> 00:30:48,060
- Good. Wave 'em down.
- Okay.
652
00:30:48,145 --> 00:30:49,786
Kira, come on, wake up,
wake up, wake up.
653
00:30:49,871 --> 00:30:51,450
- Come on, Kira, wake up!
- Over here!
654
00:30:51,535 --> 00:30:52,656
- Come on.
- Hey!
655
00:30:52,751 --> 00:30:54,226
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, come on.
- Kira, wake up.
656
00:30:54,310 --> 00:30:55,734
Over here.
657
00:30:55,870 --> 00:30:57,349
She's here. Come on!
658
00:30:57,434 --> 00:30:58,825
Oh, my God, hurry.
659
00:30:58,910 --> 00:31:01,153
Over here. Over here.
She's right here.
660
00:31:01,238 --> 00:31:03,334
- Come on. She's right here.
- Excuse me. Excuse me. What do we got?
661
00:31:03,418 --> 00:31:05,645
She's 38 years old.
Alcohol poisoning.
662
00:31:05,730 --> 00:31:07,755
She's aspirated vomit.
She's unresponsive.
663
00:31:07,840 --> 00:31:09,920
- How long has she been out?
- I don't know.
664
00:31:10,004 --> 00:31:11,521
I did a sternal rub
but she's not coming to.
665
00:31:11,605 --> 00:31:14,138
- Is she on anything?
- Prescriptions for
antidepressants.
666
00:31:14,223 --> 00:31:17,402
- Any other drugs? Illegal substances?
- I don't know.
667
00:31:17,605 --> 00:31:21,071
Pardon me. Make a hole!
Coming through.
668
00:31:24,965 --> 00:31:26,649
Maddie?
669
00:31:28,528 --> 00:31:30,027
Howie.
670
00:31:38,994 --> 00:31:41,161
We have acute alcohol
intoxication,
671
00:31:41,262 --> 00:31:43,033
heart rate severely low.
672
00:31:43,117 --> 00:31:45,359
BP 80/60 and she's cold
to the touch.
673
00:31:45,585 --> 00:31:47,434
Let's start suction
and get her on a gurney.
674
00:31:47,519 --> 00:31:48,910
Copy that.
675
00:31:51,445 --> 00:31:52,702
You okay?
676
00:31:53,613 --> 00:31:55,802
Y-Yeah.
Is Jee with you?
677
00:31:55,887 --> 00:31:57,200
She's fine.
678
00:31:57,285 --> 00:31:58,120
She's staying with a friend
679
00:31:58,224 --> 00:32:00,057
while I play paramedic again.
680
00:32:00,434 --> 00:32:02,485
All right, suction's ready.
681
00:32:10,472 --> 00:32:12,849
38-year-old female
with acute alcohol poisoning,
682
00:32:12,934 --> 00:32:15,427
unresponsive on the scene
after aspirating vomit.
683
00:32:15,512 --> 00:32:18,208
Administered fluid and bolused
one liter of LR.
684
00:32:18,293 --> 00:32:20,285
Used mechanical suction
to clear airway.
685
00:32:20,370 --> 00:32:22,596
Vitals are stable.
686
00:32:24,025 --> 00:32:26,042
I think she'll be okay.
687
00:32:26,512 --> 00:32:28,170
It's a good thing
you found her in time.
688
00:32:29,012 --> 00:32:31,513
I'm, uh, I'm Eli, by the way.
689
00:32:31,598 --> 00:32:33,105
We were never formally
introduced.
690
00:32:33,324 --> 00:32:35,767
- Maddie. I've heard a lot about you.
- Same.
691
00:32:35,912 --> 00:32:37,012
You and that little girl
are about
692
00:32:37,096 --> 00:32:39,515
all he talks about these days.
693
00:32:39,599 --> 00:32:41,302
Where is he?
694
00:32:41,387 --> 00:32:43,631
Uh, probably outside.
695
00:32:43,716 --> 00:32:45,419
I think he needed a minute.
696
00:32:45,789 --> 00:32:47,755
Me, too.
697
00:32:48,324 --> 00:32:51,959
How is he... really?
698
00:32:52,044 --> 00:32:53,730
I mean, I know that I could
ask him myself.
699
00:32:53,815 --> 00:32:55,949
But he'd probably
sugarcoat it for you?
700
00:32:56,207 --> 00:32:57,781
When he showed up,
he was a mess.
701
00:32:58,380 --> 00:32:59,841
He was worried about you.
702
00:32:59,943 --> 00:33:03,129
He was worried about Jee-Yun,
and he was racked with guilt.
703
00:33:04,530 --> 00:33:06,850
Guilt? I'm the one
that left.
704
00:33:07,027 --> 00:33:09,520
Yeah, but he's the one
that feels responsible.
705
00:33:12,880 --> 00:33:14,873
Eli said you would be here.
706
00:33:15,341 --> 00:33:17,718
He was right.
707
00:33:18,338 --> 00:33:19,514
He usually is.
708
00:33:19,599 --> 00:33:22,391
It's one of his
more annoying traits.
709
00:33:23,536 --> 00:33:25,902
But actually,
this time he was wrong.
710
00:33:27,263 --> 00:33:29,233
You see, all those days
that I spent sitting
711
00:33:29,318 --> 00:33:30,983
right here on this bench
convinced
712
00:33:31,068 --> 00:33:32,623
you would walk out those doors,
713
00:33:32,708 --> 00:33:34,693
he said I was crazy.
714
00:33:34,880 --> 00:33:36,146
And here you are.
715
00:33:37,388 --> 00:33:39,233
I know that you must have
a lot of questions.
716
00:33:39,318 --> 00:33:41,092
I know why you left, Maddie.
717
00:33:41,177 --> 00:33:43,092
Still not sure why
you stayed away.
718
00:33:43,177 --> 00:33:45,568
Because I didn't think
I'd ever get better.
719
00:33:45,700 --> 00:33:47,944
And it didn't feel safe
to be around any of you.
720
00:33:48,029 --> 00:33:50,139
What happened with Jee-Yun
and the bathtub,
721
00:33:50,224 --> 00:33:51,256
that was an accident.
722
00:33:51,341 --> 00:33:53,512
But trying to kill myself
wasn't.
723
00:33:57,615 --> 00:33:59,052
You what?
724
00:34:01,083 --> 00:34:02,765
When I dropped her off
at the firehouse I thought
725
00:34:02,849 --> 00:34:06,333
that's it, she's safe.
726
00:34:08,854 --> 00:34:13,302
So I drove up the coast,
I found a beach,
727
00:34:13,951 --> 00:34:16,036
and I walked into the ocean.
728
00:34:19,052 --> 00:34:21,037
My head was so full of
all the mistakes
729
00:34:21,122 --> 00:34:22,827
I had made in my life,
and I just thought
730
00:34:22,912 --> 00:34:25,296
everybody would be
better off without me.
731
00:34:26,247 --> 00:34:28,513
Sad at first, yeah.
732
00:34:29,099 --> 00:34:30,798
But that would fade.
733
00:34:31,846 --> 00:34:33,756
And Jee, she's so young,
she wouldn't even
734
00:34:33,841 --> 00:34:35,511
remember me as her mommy.
735
00:34:36,271 --> 00:34:37,947
How could you even think that?
736
00:34:42,262 --> 00:34:43,779
Maddie, if you died,
I would never...
737
00:34:43,864 --> 00:34:45,597
Never forgive yourself.
738
00:34:49,284 --> 00:34:52,208
I got out of the ocean for you.
739
00:34:53,539 --> 00:34:55,521
For both of you.
740
00:34:56,661 --> 00:35:02,154
But I had to stay here
to learn to stop running.
741
00:35:03,075 --> 00:35:04,516
Maddie...
742
00:35:06,101 --> 00:35:08,284
I would have done anything
to help you.
743
00:35:08,382 --> 00:35:12,475
I beat myself up every day
that I didn't do more.
744
00:35:12,560 --> 00:35:16,502
I'm so sorry for everything
that I put you through.
745
00:35:17,555 --> 00:35:20,073
I'm sorry that
I wasn't there for you.
746
00:35:20,747 --> 00:35:23,392
- You were there.
- Not enough.
747
00:35:24,505 --> 00:35:26,544
I blame myself for you leaving,
748
00:35:26,650 --> 00:35:29,025
for missing the warning signs.
749
00:35:30,994 --> 00:35:33,253
Or maybe ignoring them.
750
00:35:35,089 --> 00:35:38,341
I just wanted so badly
for you to be okay, I just...
751
00:35:39,958 --> 00:35:41,958
I pretended that you were okay.
752
00:35:43,591 --> 00:35:45,765
I think I did, too,
for a while.
753
00:35:56,208 --> 00:35:58,131
I guess we both spent
too much time
754
00:35:58,216 --> 00:36:01,022
hiding from the truth, and I
don't want to do that anymore.
755
00:36:01,116 --> 00:36:02,896
Me either.
756
00:36:03,969 --> 00:36:05,869
No more pretending.
757
00:36:07,605 --> 00:36:11,365
From now on, let's just
be honest about how we feel,
758
00:36:11,460 --> 00:36:13,585
and what we want.
759
00:36:15,021 --> 00:36:16,588
Okay.
760
00:36:19,283 --> 00:36:20,884
What do you want?
761
00:36:23,794 --> 00:36:26,553
She should be awake
from her nap soon.
762
00:36:27,326 --> 00:36:30,122
There she is.
763
00:36:30,701 --> 00:36:33,938
Look who's here, Jee-Yun.
It's Mommy.
764
00:36:36,876 --> 00:36:38,411
She's so big.
765
00:36:38,904 --> 00:36:42,021
I swear to God, I've been
feeding her normal portions.
766
00:36:42,382 --> 00:36:44,065
You probably want
to hold her.
767
00:36:44,159 --> 00:36:46,411
Uh, she never liked strangers.
768
00:36:46,638 --> 00:36:48,655
Maddie, you're not
a stranger.
769
00:36:48,740 --> 00:36:51,072
I think I am.
770
00:36:51,388 --> 00:36:52,954
Maddie...
771
00:36:55,074 --> 00:36:59,208
She's grown up so much.
I missed it.
772
00:36:59,415 --> 00:37:01,249
I missed all of it.
773
00:37:16,529 --> 00:37:18,474
So you figure out what's next?
774
00:37:18,727 --> 00:37:20,209
I mean, back to L.A.,
775
00:37:20,294 --> 00:37:22,054
or should I be getting you
a job application?
776
00:37:22,431 --> 00:37:23,855
I don't know.
777
00:37:24,029 --> 00:37:25,909
It didn't feel right
asking her about the future
778
00:37:26,013 --> 00:37:28,146
when she was so clearly
mourning the past.
779
00:37:28,521 --> 00:37:31,083
Not the glorious reunion
you'd been dreaming of, huh?
780
00:37:31,168 --> 00:37:32,614
I never really thought that far.
781
00:37:32,699 --> 00:37:36,183
I mean, I imagined finding her
a million times, you know?
782
00:37:36,294 --> 00:37:39,028
I'd see her, she'd see me.
783
00:37:39,919 --> 00:37:42,114
Movie always ended right there.
784
00:37:42,199 --> 00:37:43,834
They live happily ever after.
785
00:37:43,919 --> 00:37:45,777
Yeah.
786
00:37:46,403 --> 00:37:48,314
Kind of wishing
the end credit sequence
787
00:37:48,399 --> 00:37:49,999
was less of a bummer.
788
00:37:53,412 --> 00:37:56,037
You know, I was really mad
at her
789
00:37:56,122 --> 00:37:58,139
for not being there.
790
00:37:58,934 --> 00:38:02,102
But tonight was the first time
I realize what leaving
791
00:38:02,187 --> 00:38:04,504
actually cost her.
792
00:38:05,890 --> 00:38:07,982
You know,
793
00:38:08,838 --> 00:38:10,446
after we had our girls,
794
00:38:10,941 --> 00:38:12,567
Molly wanted to
stay home with them,
795
00:38:12,652 --> 00:38:15,122
so I went back to work.
796
00:38:15,447 --> 00:38:18,514
And every time I left,
I always said the same thing:
797
00:38:18,599 --> 00:38:20,802
"I love you.
I'll call you later.
798
00:38:20,911 --> 00:38:22,830
Don't let 'em do anything cool
while I'm gone."
799
00:38:25,318 --> 00:38:27,436
Maybe if I'd just found her
earlier.
800
00:38:27,521 --> 00:38:29,592
You did everything
you could, Howie.
801
00:38:29,677 --> 00:38:31,482
All right, no matter
what else you're feeling,
802
00:38:31,567 --> 00:38:32,567
know that.
803
00:38:32,652 --> 00:38:34,615
I just wanted to fix her,
you know?
804
00:38:34,700 --> 00:38:36,210
Just make it all okay.
805
00:38:36,295 --> 00:38:38,974
Even though you know fixing her
isn't your responsibility?
806
00:38:39,169 --> 00:38:40,281
Yeah.
807
00:38:40,873 --> 00:38:42,965
Why do I always do that?
808
00:38:43,051 --> 00:38:44,942
It's how you're wired.
809
00:38:45,027 --> 00:38:47,038
Helping people is how
you help yourself.
810
00:38:47,123 --> 00:38:48,697
And because you love her.
811
00:38:54,124 --> 00:38:58,185
I knew I had missed a lot,
and it's been six months,
812
00:38:58,310 --> 00:38:59,384
but seeing her...
813
00:38:59,478 --> 00:39:01,154
Made it real?
814
00:39:01,238 --> 00:39:02,979
Too real.
815
00:39:04,344 --> 00:39:07,685
I just wasn't prepared for
how much it was gonna hurt.
816
00:39:08,067 --> 00:39:11,872
I mean, looking at her, I saw
every milestone I've missed.
817
00:39:12,356 --> 00:39:14,652
But that doesn't mean that
you can't be there for...
818
00:39:15,114 --> 00:39:16,927
all the other ones.
819
00:39:18,589 --> 00:39:19,781
What about you?
820
00:39:20,482 --> 00:39:22,153
Did you talk to
your social worker?
821
00:39:23,853 --> 00:39:25,771
Yeah.
822
00:39:25,855 --> 00:39:28,331
Um, I have to go back to detox,
823
00:39:28,415 --> 00:39:29,786
then...
824
00:39:30,018 --> 00:39:33,753
another 60 days outpatient.
825
00:39:33,838 --> 00:39:35,554
And are you gonna do it?
826
00:39:36,499 --> 00:39:38,653
If I want to see my son.
827
00:39:39,777 --> 00:39:41,994
Yeah. I have to.
828
00:39:43,825 --> 00:39:47,493
Thank you for saving my life.
829
00:39:48,224 --> 00:39:50,687
I don't remember
everything I said,
830
00:39:50,771 --> 00:39:53,196
but, um, I know how I can get.
831
00:39:53,318 --> 00:39:55,495
- I'm sorry.
- It's okay.
832
00:39:55,626 --> 00:39:57,042
You were hurting.
833
00:39:57,127 --> 00:39:59,638
We're not always our best selves
when that happens.
834
00:39:59,950 --> 00:40:01,548
I'm really glad you're okay.
835
00:40:01,632 --> 00:40:03,475
Well, not yet.
836
00:40:03,559 --> 00:40:05,708
But I'm gonna keep trying.
837
00:40:05,877 --> 00:40:08,562
I have to.
838
00:40:08,789 --> 00:40:13,901
Not just for me, but for Robbie.
839
00:40:18,632 --> 00:40:20,824
Was I gone too long?
840
00:40:22,894 --> 00:40:25,405
I can't get back
the time I lost.
841
00:40:26,224 --> 00:40:27,489
No.
842
00:40:28,278 --> 00:40:30,492
But you can move forward.
843
00:40:30,586 --> 00:40:33,253
And the only way to do that
is to forgive yourself.
844
00:40:33,874 --> 00:40:35,217
And, Maddie,
845
00:40:35,302 --> 00:40:37,325
don't be afraid...
846
00:40:39,020 --> 00:40:42,196
to fight for what you want.
847
00:40:51,165 --> 00:40:52,265
- Hey.
- Hey.
848
00:40:52,349 --> 00:40:53,883
Aww, how's my girl today?
849
00:40:56,687 --> 00:40:58,854
I promise it's not you.
850
00:40:59,252 --> 00:41:01,420
We walked by a park
on the way here,
851
00:41:01,505 --> 00:41:03,897
and she got very angry when
I said it wasn't playtime.
852
00:41:03,982 --> 00:41:07,303
Oh, that's okay, we can
go to a park. That's fine.
853
00:41:07,388 --> 00:41:09,764
Uh, I think we should wait
at least an hour.
854
00:41:09,849 --> 00:41:10,709
I don't want to make it
look like
855
00:41:10,794 --> 00:41:12,529
I caved in to a tantrum,
you know.
856
00:41:12,614 --> 00:41:15,997
Right. Oh, right, she's old
enough to have those now.
857
00:41:16,177 --> 00:41:18,949
Oh... come on, Jee-Yun.
858
00:41:19,374 --> 00:41:20,629
Don't you want to say hi?
859
00:41:23,639 --> 00:41:25,950
Come on, Jee-Yun.
860
00:41:26,044 --> 00:41:28,475
Don't you want to say hi
to Mommy? Hmm?
861
00:41:30,980 --> 00:41:32,972
I'm not gonna lie,
this might be worse than
862
00:41:33,056 --> 00:41:35,315
going through colic
all over again.
863
00:41:35,542 --> 00:41:36,817
Can I try something?
864
00:41:37,044 --> 00:41:40,904
Be my guest, but don't be
offended if it doesn't work.
865
00:41:43,216 --> 00:41:47,486
♪ The wheels on the busgo round and round ♪
866
00:41:49,056 --> 00:41:51,341
♪ Round and round ♪
867
00:41:52,034 --> 00:41:53,809
♪ Round and round ♪
868
00:41:53,894 --> 00:41:55,732
You like that?
869
00:41:56,230 --> 00:41:57,872
♪ The wheels on the bus ♪
870
00:41:58,010 --> 00:42:01,354
♪ Go round and round. ♪
871
00:42:01,439 --> 00:42:03,439
Mama.
872
00:42:03,620 --> 00:42:05,411
Did she just...
873
00:42:05,496 --> 00:42:07,038
She recognized your voice.
874
00:42:07,281 --> 00:42:08,888
How does she remember me?
875
00:42:09,076 --> 00:42:10,844
Of course she remembers you.
876
00:42:10,928 --> 00:42:12,686
Six months, six years.
877
00:42:12,771 --> 00:42:14,966
Neither of us could
ever forget you.
878
00:42:16,174 --> 00:42:18,852
Okay.
879
00:42:19,036 --> 00:42:21,320
So, what do you want
to do now?
880
00:42:22,985 --> 00:42:25,094
I want to go home.
881
00:42:27,617 --> 00:42:30,969
- Okay.
- Okay.
882
00:42:31,669 --> 00:42:33,018
Hi. Hi.
883
00:42:33,103 --> 00:42:35,802
- Go home with us, Baby Jee?
- Want to do it again?
884
00:42:35,887 --> 00:42:37,747
♪ The wheels on the bus ♪
885
00:42:37,880 --> 00:42:39,771
♪ Go round and round ♪
886
00:42:39,864 --> 00:42:40,956
Whoo!
887
00:42:41,050 --> 00:42:42,457
♪ Round and round ♪
888
00:42:42,551 --> 00:42:44,259
♪ Round and round. ♪
889
00:42:46,825 --> 00:42:49,740
Each year, for every one person
that dies by suicide,
890
00:42:49,825 --> 00:42:53,280
316 others consider
taking their own life
891
00:42:53,365 --> 00:42:55,256
but do not go through with it.
892
00:42:55,341 --> 00:42:56,691
If you or someone you care about
893
00:42:56,776 --> 00:42:59,380
is contemplating suicide,
help is available.
894
00:42:59,645 --> 00:43:02,107
Call the National Suicide
Prevention Lifeline at:
895
00:43:02,192 --> 00:43:05,560
1-800-273-8255.
896
00:43:05,693 --> 00:43:08,545
Or visit
suicidepreventionlifeline.org.
897
00:43:08,685 --> 00:43:12,370
The Lifeline is available
24/7 across the United States.
898
00:43:12,455 --> 00:43:14,455
It is free and confidential.
899
00:43:14,540 --> 00:43:17,016
There is hope. There is help.
900
00:43:17,209 --> 00:43:19,138
And you are not alone.
901
00:43:22,130 --> 00:43:24,638
Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org
902
00:43:24,722 --> 00:43:26,722
Sync corrections by srjanapala
65225
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