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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,358 --> 00:00:06,388 Gah! Now? 2 00:00:06,441 --> 00:00:09,097 You want to know what happened last week now? 3 00:00:09,150 --> 00:00:11,429 Jesus, what are you, on drugs? 4 00:00:11,483 --> 00:00:13,680 Fuck, oh... ow, okay. 5 00:00:13,733 --> 00:00:15,763 I'll tell you what happened last week. 6 00:00:15,816 --> 00:00:19,222 Call me a fucking lawyer, that's what happened last week! 7 00:00:19,274 --> 00:00:21,180 Okay? You got that? 8 00:00:21,233 --> 00:00:23,346 You're making a big mistake! 9 00:00:23,399 --> 00:00:25,263 You're looking at the future site 10 00:00:25,316 --> 00:00:27,554 of Sunset Brooks Senior Care, phase two. 11 00:00:27,608 --> 00:00:28,823 Is this the thing Whitford sucked you into? 12 00:00:28,858 --> 00:00:30,346 Whitford didn't suck me into anything. 13 00:00:30,399 --> 00:00:32,346 I invested in a limited partnership. 14 00:00:32,399 --> 00:00:34,032 Ah, so you can only lose all your investment, 15 00:00:34,067 --> 00:00:37,138 - which was how much again? - $100,000. 16 00:00:37,192 --> 00:00:39,222 Why do you have two phones? 17 00:00:39,274 --> 00:00:41,888 It's for my mother. It's an international phone. 18 00:00:41,942 --> 00:00:43,846 Your mother's Patty? 19 00:00:43,900 --> 00:00:45,721 - Patricia, yeah. - Bullshit. 20 00:00:45,775 --> 00:00:46,554 You don't believe me? 21 00:00:46,608 --> 00:00:48,888 You want me to call her? 22 00:00:48,942 --> 00:00:50,721 Hey, looking for Vicodin? 23 00:00:51,523 --> 00:00:52,304 Always. 24 00:00:52,358 --> 00:00:54,013 Undo this belt, and I'll... I'll get it. 25 00:00:54,067 --> 00:00:55,805 No, I don't think I should do that. 26 00:00:55,858 --> 00:00:58,238 Oh, come on. 27 00:00:58,274 --> 00:01:00,388 You think I could actually get out of here? 28 00:01:00,441 --> 00:01:02,888 Oh, God! 29 00:01:04,233 --> 00:01:05,721 Say you're sorry, Timmy! 30 00:01:05,775 --> 00:01:07,138 Say you're sorry! 31 00:01:14,025 --> 00:01:15,429 I set fire to a van, 32 00:01:15,483 --> 00:01:17,055 and in doing so, I turned 33 00:01:17,108 --> 00:01:18,615 what I intended to be a movement of love 34 00:01:18,650 --> 00:01:20,263 into a movement of anger. 35 00:01:20,316 --> 00:01:22,003 I was crazy to let it go as far as I did. 36 00:01:22,039 --> 00:01:23,667 Truth is, I am bipolar. 37 00:01:23,703 --> 00:01:25,157 I plead not guilty by reason of insanity. 38 00:01:25,192 --> 00:01:27,055 What? 39 00:01:27,108 --> 00:01:29,346 Order! Order! 40 00:01:45,441 --> 00:01:48,638 ♪ Think of all the luck you got ♪ 41 00:01:48,691 --> 00:01:51,972 ♪ Know that it's not for naught ♪ 42 00:01:52,025 --> 00:01:55,097 ♪ You were beaming once before ♪ 43 00:01:55,150 --> 00:01:59,304 ♪ But it's not like that anymore ♪ 44 00:01:59,358 --> 00:02:02,805 ♪ What is this downside ♪ 45 00:02:02,858 --> 00:02:06,222 ♪ That you speak of? ♪ 46 00:02:06,274 --> 00:02:08,055 ♪ What is this feeling ♪ 47 00:02:08,108 --> 00:02:12,930 ♪ You're so sure of? ♪ 48 00:02:19,608 --> 00:02:23,138 ♪ Round up the friends you got ♪ 49 00:02:23,192 --> 00:02:26,222 ♪ Know that they're not for naught ♪ 50 00:02:26,274 --> 00:02:29,513 ♪ You were willing once before ♪ 51 00:02:29,566 --> 00:02:33,846 ♪ But it's not like that anymore ♪ 52 00:02:33,900 --> 00:02:37,263 ♪ What is this downside ♪ 53 00:02:37,316 --> 00:02:40,680 ♪ That you speak of? ♪ 54 00:02:40,733 --> 00:02:42,513 ♪ What is this feeling ♪ 55 00:02:42,566 --> 00:02:46,638 ♪ You're so sure of? ♪ 56 00:02:57,040 --> 00:02:58,996 Hey. What you doing up there? 57 00:02:59,032 --> 00:03:00,972 Putting away my stuff till I get back. 58 00:03:01,025 --> 00:03:02,513 Hand me those bags. 59 00:03:02,566 --> 00:03:04,429 You decide what you want to do today yet? 60 00:03:04,483 --> 00:03:06,263 I could call in sick from work. 61 00:03:06,316 --> 00:03:07,907 Well, I don't think I want to do anything. 62 00:03:07,942 --> 00:03:09,157 Ah, come on, we got to do something. 63 00:03:09,192 --> 00:03:10,638 It's your last day of freedom. 64 00:03:10,691 --> 00:03:12,304 Nah, I think I just want to 65 00:03:12,358 --> 00:03:13,888 hang at the house. 66 00:03:13,942 --> 00:03:15,471 You heading into the shop today? 67 00:03:15,524 --> 00:03:17,222 I got a job as a sober companion 68 00:03:17,274 --> 00:03:18,554 for the next couple hours. 69 00:03:18,608 --> 00:03:20,055 Hey, uh, how about we ride 70 00:03:20,108 --> 00:03:21,364 the El up to Wrigley when I get back? 71 00:03:21,399 --> 00:03:22,930 Beat the shit out of some Cubs fans? 72 00:03:22,983 --> 00:03:25,055 Yeah, I don't need more time added to my sentence. 73 00:03:25,108 --> 00:03:27,013 What's a sober companion? 74 00:03:27,067 --> 00:03:29,304 I'm babysitting some rich lush, 75 00:03:29,358 --> 00:03:30,805 making sure they don't drink. 76 00:03:30,858 --> 00:03:35,304 Anybody who can't stop drinking on his own is a pussy. 77 00:03:35,358 --> 00:03:37,157 We could take you to a gay bar and get you laid. 78 00:03:37,192 --> 00:03:39,180 Pretty sure I'll get laid a lot in prison. 79 00:03:39,233 --> 00:03:41,055 Yo, what are we doing today? 80 00:03:41,108 --> 00:03:42,513 My new lady and I are supposed to go 81 00:03:42,566 --> 00:03:44,554 work out, but I could cancel it. 82 00:03:44,608 --> 00:03:46,073 He doesn't want to do anything. 83 00:03:46,108 --> 00:03:47,596 What? You don't want to steal a car, 84 00:03:47,650 --> 00:03:50,097 or drop bowling balls off a freeway? 85 00:03:50,150 --> 00:03:51,587 I'm good. 86 00:03:53,358 --> 00:03:55,626 Liam, get your ass up. Need help. 87 00:03:56,441 --> 00:03:58,304 What's up, Frank? 88 00:03:58,358 --> 00:03:59,680 Met a woman. 89 00:03:59,733 --> 00:04:01,429 Crazy as a loon, 90 00:04:01,483 --> 00:04:03,055 made my heart stir 91 00:04:03,108 --> 00:04:04,930 and my loins moist. 92 00:04:04,983 --> 00:04:05,763 Ew. 93 00:04:05,816 --> 00:04:07,638 She's on a 72-hour 94 00:04:07,691 --> 00:04:09,180 eval at the psych ward. 95 00:04:09,233 --> 00:04:11,346 Her name is Ingrid Jones. 96 00:04:11,399 --> 00:04:13,388 Want your opinion of her. 97 00:04:13,441 --> 00:04:15,222 - Why me? - 'Cause, 98 00:04:15,274 --> 00:04:17,846 you're the only little kid left who still needs a mommy. 99 00:04:17,900 --> 00:04:19,513 Rest of them are already cooked. 100 00:04:19,566 --> 00:04:21,180 Can't. Gotta hang with Ian. 101 00:04:21,233 --> 00:04:22,513 Seriously, guys, I'm good. 102 00:04:22,566 --> 00:04:24,180 I just want to veg at the house, 103 00:04:24,233 --> 00:04:26,345 eat a shit-ton of White Castle for dinner. 104 00:04:26,946 --> 00:04:29,055 I spent many a day in prison. 105 00:04:29,108 --> 00:04:30,930 It's a walk in the park. 106 00:04:30,983 --> 00:04:33,471 Three squares a day, lots of friends, 107 00:04:33,524 --> 00:04:36,304 free gym membership, and all the books you can read. 108 00:04:36,358 --> 00:04:38,513 I suggest Ulysses. 109 00:04:38,566 --> 00:04:39,603 Shall we? 110 00:04:41,067 --> 00:04:42,525 No, go. Go. 111 00:04:44,274 --> 00:04:46,013 See you later, Taraji. 112 00:04:48,108 --> 00:04:50,222 Liam! 113 00:04:51,691 --> 00:04:53,097 Hey, uh, 114 00:04:53,150 --> 00:04:54,888 how come you don't want to do anything? 115 00:04:54,942 --> 00:04:56,615 I'm about to spend the next two years of my life 116 00:04:56,650 --> 00:04:57,805 in fight-or-flight mode. 117 00:04:57,858 --> 00:04:58,888 I just want one last day 118 00:04:58,942 --> 00:05:01,485 where I feel safe and relaxed. 119 00:05:02,462 --> 00:05:03,614 Oh, okay. 120 00:05:04,047 --> 00:05:04,785 Sure? 121 00:05:04,821 --> 00:05:05,972 Yep. 122 00:05:06,400 --> 00:05:08,554 I guess I'll go to work then. 123 00:05:08,608 --> 00:05:10,097 I'll be back for dinner, all right? 124 00:05:10,150 --> 00:05:13,097 - Yeah, see you at dinner. - Okay. 125 00:05:26,858 --> 00:05:28,073 Have you seen these inglenooks 126 00:05:28,108 --> 00:05:29,304 and these lead windows? 127 00:05:29,358 --> 00:05:30,680 Did you see the second bathroom? 128 00:05:30,733 --> 00:05:32,013 We could each have our own. 129 00:05:32,067 --> 00:05:33,323 Dibs on the black-and-green-tile one. 130 00:05:33,358 --> 00:05:34,888 What's the rent? 131 00:05:34,942 --> 00:05:36,329 It's $3,000 a month. 132 00:05:37,376 --> 00:05:38,429 That's crazy. 133 00:05:38,483 --> 00:05:39,573 - We can't afford that. - Sure we can. 134 00:05:39,608 --> 00:05:41,157 You're gonna get at least 1,000 bucks for 135 00:05:41,192 --> 00:05:43,429 renting your place, and I'll cover the rest. 136 00:05:43,483 --> 00:05:45,513 No, then it'll feel like it's your apartment 137 00:05:45,566 --> 00:05:47,554 that I'm just tippy-toeing around in. 138 00:05:47,608 --> 00:05:49,930 Well, you can rustle up an extra 500 bucks a month, then. 139 00:05:49,983 --> 00:05:51,513 Maybe. 140 00:05:51,566 --> 00:05:52,263 Come on, you're gonna be loaded 141 00:05:52,316 --> 00:05:53,680 off that senior center soon. 142 00:05:53,733 --> 00:05:55,638 Can we look for something cheaper? 143 00:05:55,691 --> 00:05:57,721 This place has southern exposure. 144 00:05:57,775 --> 00:05:59,680 I don't even know why that's a good thing. 145 00:05:59,733 --> 00:06:01,138 It means this whole place will be 146 00:06:01,192 --> 00:06:02,930 shit-tons of sunny in the winter. 147 00:06:02,983 --> 00:06:04,388 Can we think about it? 148 00:06:04,441 --> 00:06:06,485 I got a meeting with Max right now anyway. 149 00:06:07,650 --> 00:06:08,721 We'll let you know. 150 00:06:08,775 --> 00:06:10,222 Okay, um, sure. 151 00:06:10,274 --> 00:06:11,471 I can't guarantee 152 00:06:11,524 --> 00:06:13,097 it'll still be available, though. 153 00:06:13,150 --> 00:06:14,680 Come here. 154 00:06:20,059 --> 00:06:21,360 Mm. 155 00:06:22,439 --> 00:06:23,721 I thought we were ready to take 156 00:06:23,775 --> 00:06:25,304 this relationship to the next level. 157 00:06:25,358 --> 00:06:28,222 I just didn't realize that would be so expensive. 158 00:06:28,274 --> 00:06:30,157 Well, to get ahead in life, you have to push past 159 00:06:30,192 --> 00:06:32,513 your comfort zone. 160 00:06:35,892 --> 00:06:36,930 Okay. 161 00:06:37,345 --> 00:06:38,513 - Yeah? - Let's do it. 162 00:06:38,566 --> 00:06:39,634 Great. 163 00:06:49,358 --> 00:06:50,388 Ah! Ah! 164 00:06:55,900 --> 00:06:57,930 - What are you guys doing? - Survival training. 165 00:06:57,983 --> 00:06:59,680 Kelly has a black belt in krav maga. 166 00:06:59,733 --> 00:07:01,138 She's teaching me some moves. 167 00:07:01,192 --> 00:07:02,513 All right. 168 00:07:02,566 --> 00:07:03,972 Survival training, huh? 169 00:07:06,775 --> 00:07:07,846 Yeah. Ooh! 170 00:07:07,900 --> 00:07:09,138 Ah! 171 00:07:10,192 --> 00:07:11,554 - Hi. - Hey. 172 00:07:13,233 --> 00:07:15,388 You know what, can you guys show me some moves? 173 00:07:15,441 --> 00:07:17,138 - Sure. - Okay. 174 00:07:22,483 --> 00:07:23,657 Oh. 175 00:07:25,162 --> 00:07:26,305 Go. 176 00:07:26,900 --> 00:07:27,900 Go! 177 00:07:27,942 --> 00:07:29,638 - Hey, man. - Hey. 178 00:07:29,691 --> 00:07:31,138 Hey, man, thanks for covering for me. 179 00:07:31,192 --> 00:07:32,680 Yeah, yeah, of course. 180 00:07:32,733 --> 00:07:34,346 - Client's in the room now. - Okay. 181 00:07:34,399 --> 00:07:36,013 Hey, took an Ambien. 182 00:07:36,067 --> 00:07:38,222 She'll probably be asleep till tonight. 183 00:07:38,274 --> 00:07:39,138 Great, yeah. 184 00:07:39,192 --> 00:07:40,192 She got a stockholders' 185 00:07:40,233 --> 00:07:41,471 meeting in the morning 186 00:07:41,524 --> 00:07:42,972 with Highland Cosmetics. 187 00:07:43,025 --> 00:07:45,596 She's their keynote speaker, Jen Wagner. 188 00:07:45,650 --> 00:07:47,222 If she shows up hammered, 189 00:07:47,274 --> 00:07:49,638 the company's gonna drop her as their spokesperson. 190 00:07:49,950 --> 00:07:51,981 You're talking about Jen Wagner, the movie star chick? 191 00:07:52,016 --> 00:07:53,629 Yeah, that's the one. 192 00:07:53,759 --> 00:07:55,429 Uh, I didn't know she was a boozer. 193 00:07:55,483 --> 00:07:57,013 Everybody got their demons, right? 194 00:07:57,067 --> 00:07:58,763 - Yeah. - I should be back 195 00:07:58,816 --> 00:08:00,554 from dropping off my kid at camp 196 00:08:00,608 --> 00:08:02,263 around 5:00 to relieve you. 197 00:08:02,316 --> 00:08:03,596 All right. Yeah-yeah, I got you. 198 00:08:03,650 --> 00:08:05,596 - Thank you. - Yeah. 199 00:08:18,775 --> 00:08:20,846 Why does Paw Patrol only have one girl? 200 00:08:20,900 --> 00:08:22,846 Shh, I'm trying to watch. 201 00:08:22,900 --> 00:08:25,721 No job is too big. No pup is too small. 202 00:08:28,900 --> 00:08:30,055 This cartoon is sexist. 203 00:08:30,108 --> 00:08:32,013 V, when I watch with the girls, 204 00:08:32,067 --> 00:08:34,013 we don't criticize Ryder and his team. 205 00:08:34,067 --> 00:08:35,805 We just laugh and enjoy it. 206 00:08:39,542 --> 00:08:42,118 I've got something else you can enjoy. 207 00:08:45,858 --> 00:08:47,013 See ya, Paw Patrol. 208 00:08:47,067 --> 00:08:48,680 Let's work off these donuts. 209 00:08:48,733 --> 00:08:50,429 I ate a lot of crullers. 210 00:08:50,483 --> 00:08:52,304 Mm-hmm. 211 00:08:53,691 --> 00:08:55,513 Who is that? 212 00:08:55,566 --> 00:08:56,888 Probably a Gallagher. 213 00:08:56,942 --> 00:08:57,763 Or a Jehovah. 214 00:08:57,816 --> 00:08:59,638 I'll get rid of them. 215 00:09:04,946 --> 00:09:06,596 Sister Frances. 216 00:09:08,150 --> 00:09:09,471 - Good morning. - Good mor... 217 00:09:09,524 --> 00:09:11,180 please, won't you come in? 218 00:09:14,358 --> 00:09:16,376 Good morning. Have a... have a seat. 219 00:09:18,025 --> 00:09:20,579 Amy brought this in for show-and-tell today. 220 00:09:24,025 --> 00:09:25,931 That's weird. 221 00:09:27,142 --> 00:09:28,596 I wonder where she got it from. 222 00:09:28,650 --> 00:09:30,157 The children were supposed to bring in something 223 00:09:30,192 --> 00:09:32,759 that represents their parents' love for each other. 224 00:09:33,040 --> 00:09:35,930 Most brought in hearts or pictures of their siblings. 225 00:09:35,983 --> 00:09:37,471 Amy brought this. 226 00:09:39,897 --> 00:09:40,885 I'm so sorry. 227 00:09:40,921 --> 00:09:42,243 It'll never happen again. 228 00:09:46,483 --> 00:09:47,513 It's double-click. 229 00:09:49,650 --> 00:09:52,388 In order for Amy to return back to school on Monday, 230 00:09:52,441 --> 00:09:54,180 Father D'Amico has requested 231 00:09:54,233 --> 00:09:56,763 that you come to his office today and speak with him. 232 00:09:56,816 --> 00:09:58,239 You're gonna kick her out because of this? 233 00:09:58,274 --> 00:10:00,222 We would love to speak with the priest. 234 00:10:00,274 --> 00:10:02,388 My wife and I just need to say our morning prayers, 235 00:10:02,441 --> 00:10:03,781 and then we'll meet you at the rectory. 236 00:10:03,816 --> 00:10:04,763 I can take that... or you can 237 00:10:04,816 --> 00:10:06,972 keep it as a parting gift. 238 00:10:07,025 --> 00:10:09,513 Thank you, Sister Frances, for coming. 239 00:10:14,316 --> 00:10:15,513 Hey, Fiona! 240 00:10:15,566 --> 00:10:17,554 - Hello. - Hi. 241 00:10:17,608 --> 00:10:19,097 Everybody, this is Fiona. 242 00:10:19,150 --> 00:10:20,972 This is Gil, Jessica, and Sandy. 243 00:10:21,025 --> 00:10:22,763 - Hello. - Hey, how's it going? 244 00:10:22,816 --> 00:10:24,138 - Hi. - Please, sit down. 245 00:10:24,192 --> 00:10:26,138 So, what did the hearing board say 246 00:10:26,192 --> 00:10:27,638 about the Sunset Brook project? 247 00:10:27,691 --> 00:10:29,388 They denied our request on rezoning. 248 00:10:29,441 --> 00:10:30,721 - Mm. - What? 249 00:10:30,775 --> 00:10:33,388 Yeah, well, we expected that. 250 00:10:33,441 --> 00:10:35,180 I did not expect that. 251 00:10:35,233 --> 00:10:36,615 What were they asking for? 252 00:10:36,650 --> 00:10:37,990 Traffic and environmental impact report? 253 00:10:38,025 --> 00:10:39,513 Oh, of course. 254 00:10:39,566 --> 00:10:41,157 City's gonna try to force us to do street 255 00:10:41,192 --> 00:10:43,596 and sewer upgrades, plus, there was a gas station 256 00:10:43,650 --> 00:10:45,180 on that corner in the '20s, 257 00:10:45,233 --> 00:10:46,930 so they want to see what's underneath, 258 00:10:46,983 --> 00:10:48,721 and we gotta pay for it. 259 00:10:48,775 --> 00:10:50,763 Usual bureaucratic bullshit. 260 00:10:50,816 --> 00:10:52,180 So if they don't rezone, 261 00:10:52,233 --> 00:10:54,013 can the old age home still go in there? 262 00:10:54,067 --> 00:10:55,805 Of course. It'll just take longer. 263 00:10:55,858 --> 00:10:56,858 How much longer? 264 00:10:56,900 --> 00:10:58,846 A year or so, most likely. 265 00:10:58,900 --> 00:11:00,198 You know, I've been using Hilford and Carson to get 266 00:11:00,233 --> 00:11:01,448 reports on my Glendale project. 267 00:11:01,483 --> 00:11:02,554 Sounds good to me. 268 00:11:02,608 --> 00:11:04,055 How much are they? 269 00:11:04,108 --> 00:11:04,972 We can probably get all the reports 270 00:11:05,025 --> 00:11:07,513 done that we need for about 271 00:11:07,566 --> 00:11:09,554 $100,000, so 20 grand apiece. 272 00:11:09,608 --> 00:11:12,222 Hm. You cool with PayPal? 273 00:11:12,274 --> 00:11:16,013 - Of course. - I'll write you a check. 274 00:11:16,067 --> 00:11:18,596 I don't think I have my checkbook with me. 275 00:11:18,650 --> 00:11:20,448 Ah, just get it to me later today or tomorrow. 276 00:11:20,483 --> 00:11:22,180 Sure, yeah. 277 00:11:22,233 --> 00:11:23,781 So it's probably time for us to talk 278 00:11:23,816 --> 00:11:24,865 about hiring a lawyer, too. 279 00:11:24,900 --> 00:11:26,805 I can talk to this guy I know, 280 00:11:26,858 --> 00:11:28,471 put him on a retainer. Um. 281 00:11:28,524 --> 00:11:30,513 should cost us about $5,000 each. 282 00:11:30,566 --> 00:11:32,013 Nice. Yeah. 283 00:11:32,402 --> 00:11:33,642 Great. 284 00:11:46,441 --> 00:11:48,055 Oh, look at that, someone got 285 00:11:48,108 --> 00:11:49,638 some pretty balloons! 286 00:11:49,691 --> 00:11:51,429 The hell? 287 00:11:51,483 --> 00:11:54,097 You can't visit the mentally ill empty-handed. 288 00:11:56,067 --> 00:11:57,638 Hey, Baxter, what's shaking? 289 00:11:57,691 --> 00:11:59,513 Frankie! 290 00:11:59,566 --> 00:12:01,055 - Hey. - Wow. 291 00:12:01,108 --> 00:12:02,554 Long time. 292 00:12:03,099 --> 00:12:05,814 That's because my Monica died. 293 00:12:06,165 --> 00:12:07,680 - No. - Yeah. 294 00:12:08,319 --> 00:12:10,266 I am so sorry, buddy. 295 00:12:10,360 --> 00:12:11,513 Thanks, 296 00:12:11,814 --> 00:12:13,596 but it's gonna be okay. 297 00:12:13,650 --> 00:12:14,888 Got a new lady. 298 00:12:14,942 --> 00:12:16,222 Hey, good for you. 299 00:12:16,274 --> 00:12:18,846 And by my calculations, 300 00:12:18,900 --> 00:12:21,846 she should be finishing up her 72 hours today. 301 00:12:21,900 --> 00:12:23,972 So my son and I are just gonna 302 00:12:24,025 --> 00:12:26,222 hunker down until she gets released. 303 00:12:26,274 --> 00:12:28,138 Wait, this is Liam? 304 00:12:28,306 --> 00:12:29,306 Yep. 305 00:12:29,496 --> 00:12:31,443 Wow. Last time I saw you, 306 00:12:31,566 --> 00:12:33,429 you must have been two years old, 307 00:12:33,483 --> 00:12:35,429 just talking up a storm. 308 00:12:35,483 --> 00:12:36,346 Oh, yeah? 309 00:12:36,399 --> 00:12:37,180 Yeah. 310 00:12:37,233 --> 00:12:38,673 Hey, listen. 311 00:12:39,251 --> 00:12:40,138 I remember 312 00:12:40,192 --> 00:12:43,454 your mom's face just always lit up 313 00:12:43,775 --> 00:12:44,888 every time she saw you 314 00:12:44,942 --> 00:12:46,554 when she got released from here. 315 00:12:47,009 --> 00:12:48,845 Sure it wasn't the Thorazine? 316 00:12:49,192 --> 00:12:51,814 Hey, Baxter, could I get the, uh, remote? 317 00:12:51,909 --> 00:12:52,915 Yeah. 318 00:13:15,392 --> 00:13:16,930 Oh, hey. 319 00:13:17,179 --> 00:13:18,293 Hi. 320 00:13:18,329 --> 00:13:20,114 Hey, are you going somewhere? 321 00:13:20,150 --> 00:13:21,304 Who the hell are you? 322 00:13:21,358 --> 00:13:23,180 Oh, I'm sorry. I'm... I'm Lip. 323 00:13:23,233 --> 00:13:25,097 Um, Philip. 324 00:13:25,150 --> 00:13:28,097 Covering for Barney for a couple hours. 325 00:13:29,575 --> 00:13:30,575 Excuse me? 326 00:13:32,118 --> 00:13:33,097 Hey. 327 00:13:33,150 --> 00:13:35,097 Um, hi! 328 00:13:35,150 --> 00:13:36,346 W... 329 00:13:37,441 --> 00:13:39,263 Hey, I... 330 00:13:41,067 --> 00:13:42,680 ♪ Ricka-ticka ting ding ♪ 331 00:13:42,733 --> 00:13:44,554 ♪ Whoo-hoo ♪ 332 00:13:48,108 --> 00:13:49,304 ♪ Whoo-hoo ♪ 333 00:13:53,025 --> 00:13:55,554 Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. 334 00:13:58,217 --> 00:14:01,039 ♪ Well you put it into our pack ♪ 335 00:14:01,108 --> 00:14:03,180 ♪ A ricka-ticka ting ding ♪ 336 00:14:03,233 --> 00:14:06,513 ♪ Now we gotta fight 'em all back ♪ 337 00:14:06,566 --> 00:14:07,805 ♪ Ricka-ticka ting ding ♪ 338 00:14:07,858 --> 00:14:09,097 ♪ Whoo-hoo ♪ 339 00:14:09,150 --> 00:14:10,263 Hi. 340 00:14:10,316 --> 00:14:12,930 Thought I lost you. Um. 341 00:14:12,983 --> 00:14:15,013 Uh, hey, could you wait up? 342 00:14:15,339 --> 00:14:17,471 L... I'm... I'm supposed to... to be with you. 343 00:14:17,524 --> 00:14:19,930 My sober companion, yeah, I know, I got it. 344 00:14:19,983 --> 00:14:21,888 I'm just going for a little walk. 345 00:14:21,942 --> 00:14:23,638 I... 346 00:14:23,691 --> 00:14:26,263 ♪ I'm the only one you need ♪ 347 00:14:26,316 --> 00:14:27,888 ♪ Oh I'm the only one you need ♪ 348 00:14:27,942 --> 00:14:30,846 Hey, you could slow down a little bit? 349 00:14:30,900 --> 00:14:32,388 You seem like a nice kid. 350 00:14:32,441 --> 00:14:34,972 I just... I just need some space, all right? 351 00:14:35,025 --> 00:14:36,972 Yeah, I'm not sure that's such a good idea. 352 00:14:37,025 --> 00:14:38,805 Actually, it's a great idea. 353 00:14:38,858 --> 00:14:40,721 See, this is like a mini-vacation for me. 354 00:14:40,775 --> 00:14:42,032 - Mm-hm. - Got no work, no husband, 355 00:14:42,067 --> 00:14:43,222 no screaming kids. 356 00:14:43,274 --> 00:14:44,388 No one knows I'm in town, 357 00:14:44,441 --> 00:14:45,846 so I'm... I'm anonymous here. 358 00:14:45,900 --> 00:14:46,805 - Yeah, I'm... - I just... I just... 359 00:14:46,858 --> 00:14:47,972 I need some alone time. 360 00:14:48,025 --> 00:14:50,050 I'm concerned you might drink. 361 00:14:51,051 --> 00:14:53,050 Don't be concerned, bunny. 362 00:14:53,608 --> 00:14:54,990 Look, does that mean you are gonna drink, 363 00:14:55,025 --> 00:14:56,138 or you're not gonna drink? 364 00:14:56,192 --> 00:14:57,596 It means if I do drink, 365 00:14:57,650 --> 00:14:59,471 everything's gonna be okay. 366 00:14:59,524 --> 00:15:00,471 You've got a meeting tomorrow. 367 00:15:00,524 --> 00:15:02,055 Yeah, in like 20 hours. 368 00:15:02,108 --> 00:15:04,180 Yeah, a lot can happen in that time. 369 00:15:04,233 --> 00:15:06,180 A few drinks is not gonna kill me. 370 00:15:06,233 --> 00:15:08,346 I... I'll be back at the hotel by mid-afternoon. 371 00:15:08,399 --> 00:15:10,263 I'll chug a gallon of Evian; I'll eat a pizza; 372 00:15:10,316 --> 00:15:12,222 hit the steam room; get a great night's sleep, 373 00:15:12,274 --> 00:15:13,721 and be as good as new for my meeting. 374 00:15:13,775 --> 00:15:16,596 Really, it's no big whoop. No one will know. 375 00:15:16,650 --> 00:15:17,837 I will. 376 00:15:19,233 --> 00:15:21,013 Aren't you a sweet Boy Scout? 377 00:15:21,520 --> 00:15:22,520 No... 378 00:15:26,942 --> 00:15:28,180 Are you serious? 379 00:15:39,108 --> 00:15:41,596 ♪ The more when they make for less ♪ 380 00:15:41,650 --> 00:15:43,680 ♪ Ricka-ticka ting ding ♪ 381 00:15:43,733 --> 00:15:46,304 ♪ No fun without distress ♪ 382 00:15:46,358 --> 00:15:48,721 ♪ Oh ricka-ticka ting ding ♪ 383 00:15:48,775 --> 00:15:50,930 ♪ No way out ♪ 384 00:15:53,900 --> 00:15:56,138 ♪ No more why ♪ 385 00:15:56,192 --> 00:15:58,346 ♪ Crank it high ♪ 386 00:16:00,816 --> 00:16:02,290 Hey, Barney. 387 00:16:02,983 --> 00:16:04,931 Yeah, no, everything's good. 388 00:16:05,733 --> 00:16:07,721 No, yeah, she's still sleeping. 389 00:16:07,775 --> 00:16:08,888 Okay. 390 00:16:08,942 --> 00:16:10,513 Talk to you later. Bye. 391 00:16:19,150 --> 00:16:21,388 - Stop! - Oh, my God! 392 00:16:21,441 --> 00:16:23,304 Hey, look, I'm sorry. Are you okay? 393 00:16:23,358 --> 00:16:25,513 - You gave me no choice. - Get off me! 394 00:16:25,566 --> 00:16:27,513 Not until you promise you're not gonna drink. 395 00:16:27,566 --> 00:16:29,364 Look, I'm not getting off you until you promise! 396 00:16:29,399 --> 00:16:32,138 - No! - This is my job! 397 00:16:32,192 --> 00:16:34,388 - To sit on top of me? - To make sure you don't drink! 398 00:16:34,441 --> 00:16:35,846 Oh, my God, I told you, 399 00:16:35,900 --> 00:16:36,930 it's no big deal. 400 00:16:36,983 --> 00:16:38,846 Yes, it is. All right? 401 00:16:38,900 --> 00:16:40,805 Don't fuck up this gig for me. 402 00:16:40,858 --> 00:16:42,323 My brother's going to prison tomorrow. 403 00:16:42,358 --> 00:16:44,032 I need the money for his commissary account. 404 00:16:44,067 --> 00:16:45,638 Are you trying to play on my emotions? 405 00:16:45,691 --> 00:16:46,805 Is it working? 406 00:16:46,858 --> 00:16:48,513 No, because I don't have any! 407 00:16:48,566 --> 00:16:50,239 All right, well, then, suck it up until Barney 408 00:16:50,274 --> 00:16:52,274 gets back at 5:00, all right? He can deal with you. 409 00:16:52,316 --> 00:16:53,865 What am I supposed to do if I'm not drinking? 410 00:16:53,900 --> 00:16:54,990 Just sit in the hotel room all day, 411 00:16:55,025 --> 00:16:56,596 watching SpectraVision? 412 00:16:56,650 --> 00:16:58,032 Uh, we could hang out here in the park. 413 00:16:58,067 --> 00:16:59,138 It's a beautiful day out. 414 00:16:59,192 --> 00:17:00,805 You are such a sap. 415 00:17:00,858 --> 00:17:02,888 Look, just relax, all right? 416 00:17:02,942 --> 00:17:04,554 Enjoy, and 417 00:17:04,608 --> 00:17:06,805 take it one moment at a time, all right? 418 00:17:06,841 --> 00:17:08,704 Oh, jeez. AA crap. 419 00:17:08,775 --> 00:17:10,680 All right, fine. 420 00:17:10,733 --> 00:17:12,763 We'll just hang out in this stupid park. 421 00:17:12,816 --> 00:17:13,763 - All right. - Okay. 422 00:17:13,816 --> 00:17:14,972 Now I'm gonna get off you, 423 00:17:15,025 --> 00:17:16,763 but I swear, if you run, 424 00:17:16,816 --> 00:17:18,304 I will tackle the fuck out of you. 425 00:17:18,358 --> 00:17:19,972 You are so dramatic. 426 00:17:20,025 --> 00:17:22,471 Hey, look who's talking, commercial actress chick. 427 00:17:22,524 --> 00:17:25,596 I'll have you know, I have done 17 films and 4 TV shows. 428 00:17:25,650 --> 00:17:27,471 Whatever. 429 00:17:28,134 --> 00:17:29,055 Hey! 430 00:17:29,108 --> 00:17:32,097 I'm just kidding, you little shit. 431 00:17:50,566 --> 00:17:52,055 What are you doing? 432 00:17:52,108 --> 00:17:53,554 Packing for our move. 433 00:17:55,524 --> 00:17:57,388 I'm having second thoughts. 434 00:17:59,733 --> 00:18:01,055 We paid a deposit. 435 00:18:01,650 --> 00:18:03,222 We'll just cancel the check. 436 00:18:03,274 --> 00:18:05,251 We signed a lease. 437 00:18:05,942 --> 00:18:07,721 The realtor won't care. 438 00:18:07,775 --> 00:18:10,782 She said tons of people are interested, anyway. 439 00:18:12,150 --> 00:18:13,845 What's this about? 440 00:18:21,674 --> 00:18:24,078 To be honest, I smelled mold in there. 441 00:18:24,775 --> 00:18:27,304 These old apartments, they got so much water damage, 442 00:18:27,358 --> 00:18:29,429 and mold is so bad for your lungs. 443 00:18:29,483 --> 00:18:30,483 Hm. 444 00:18:31,306 --> 00:18:32,846 And where's this coming from? 445 00:18:33,173 --> 00:18:36,036 I just think we can find something better and cheaper. 446 00:18:38,433 --> 00:18:41,255 What's your excuse gonna be in the next apartment? 447 00:18:42,009 --> 00:18:43,055 Excuse me? 448 00:18:43,108 --> 00:18:44,115 You're not remotely serious about 449 00:18:44,150 --> 00:18:45,013 us getting a place together. 450 00:18:45,067 --> 00:18:46,013 That is not true. 451 00:18:46,067 --> 00:18:46,888 Bullshit. 452 00:18:46,942 --> 00:18:48,055 I have a perfectly 453 00:18:48,108 --> 00:18:49,180 good apartment right here. 454 00:18:49,233 --> 00:18:50,513 Which is too small 455 00:18:50,566 --> 00:18:51,740 for me to move any of my stuff into. 456 00:18:51,775 --> 00:18:53,263 It's not the right time for me 457 00:18:53,316 --> 00:18:54,531 to be spending that kind of money. 458 00:18:54,566 --> 00:18:55,865 Well, let me know when it is the right time, 459 00:18:55,900 --> 00:18:57,388 and maybe, I might still be around. 460 00:18:57,441 --> 00:18:58,615 Where are you going? 461 00:18:58,650 --> 00:19:00,721 To cancel a check and break a lease 462 00:19:00,775 --> 00:19:02,895 so God forbid, we don't have to fucking live together. 463 00:19:06,900 --> 00:19:08,138 Yo, bitch. 464 00:19:08,192 --> 00:19:09,805 My cell, now. 465 00:19:09,858 --> 00:19:11,972 No way, Larry. Ow. 466 00:19:12,025 --> 00:19:13,304 See, wrong move. 467 00:19:13,358 --> 00:19:14,448 You just got your throat slit. 468 00:19:14,483 --> 00:19:15,930 Ah! 469 00:19:17,942 --> 00:19:20,262 - And now you're dead. - Shit. 470 00:19:20,298 --> 00:19:22,346 Dude, what the hell did we teach you? 471 00:19:22,907 --> 00:19:24,638 Your ass gonna get fucked up in prison. 472 00:19:24,691 --> 00:19:25,471 Run it again. 473 00:19:29,165 --> 00:19:30,763 My cell, bitch. 474 00:19:30,816 --> 00:19:32,721 You don't roll into the blade. 475 00:19:32,775 --> 00:19:35,263 Use your left hand to grab her wrist with the knife. 476 00:19:35,316 --> 00:19:38,180 Grab her elbow, then throw. 477 00:19:43,358 --> 00:19:44,429 You good? 478 00:19:44,483 --> 00:19:45,554 Yeah. 479 00:19:51,392 --> 00:19:52,429 Yeah? 480 00:19:57,360 --> 00:19:58,471 Ian here? 481 00:19:58,759 --> 00:19:59,930 Who wants to know? 482 00:19:59,983 --> 00:20:01,263 My name's Antonio. 483 00:20:01,571 --> 00:20:03,222 Joselito sent me. 484 00:20:03,274 --> 00:20:04,972 Oh. Yeah, I'm Ian. 485 00:20:05,259 --> 00:20:06,353 Come in. 486 00:20:07,883 --> 00:20:10,372 We talking Joselito from County? 487 00:20:11,301 --> 00:20:12,618 How's he doing? 488 00:20:12,816 --> 00:20:15,721 Jackass got extra 20 years. Stabbed a guard. 489 00:20:16,610 --> 00:20:18,222 That sucks. 490 00:20:19,056 --> 00:20:20,180 Uh, is he still with Leo? 491 00:20:20,233 --> 00:20:22,596 Nah, they broke up after Leo got released. 492 00:20:22,650 --> 00:20:24,222 That long-distance shit never works. 493 00:20:24,274 --> 00:20:25,888 So what's going on? 494 00:20:25,942 --> 00:20:27,596 Joselito wanted me to give you an in-depth 495 00:20:27,650 --> 00:20:29,554 safety orientation about Beckman Correctional 496 00:20:29,608 --> 00:20:30,972 before they send you up. 497 00:20:37,358 --> 00:20:38,596 Is that my Ingrid? 498 00:20:39,942 --> 00:20:42,097 No, it's just some crazy dude. 499 00:20:42,150 --> 00:20:43,846 What's so special about 500 00:20:43,900 --> 00:20:45,638 this chick we're waiting for, anyway? 501 00:20:45,691 --> 00:20:49,013 Well, son, it's a great gift in this life 502 00:20:49,067 --> 00:20:50,930 to know what you're good at. 503 00:20:51,157 --> 00:20:52,610 And, uh, 504 00:20:53,233 --> 00:20:54,853 I'm good at crazy. 505 00:20:55,524 --> 00:20:58,429 I'm a caretaker to it. Makes me feel needed. 506 00:20:58,483 --> 00:21:00,429 It's how I felt with your mother. 507 00:21:00,483 --> 00:21:03,728 Plus, it's never boring. Look at this. 508 00:21:06,900 --> 00:21:08,180 What the hell is that? 509 00:21:08,233 --> 00:21:09,429 Monica. 510 00:21:09,483 --> 00:21:11,388 I was asleep. 511 00:21:11,441 --> 00:21:13,222 Decided she was gonna light me on fire, 512 00:21:13,274 --> 00:21:15,471 one body part at a time. 513 00:21:15,524 --> 00:21:16,972 - Why? - Hard to say 514 00:21:17,025 --> 00:21:18,097 with a crazy person. 515 00:21:18,150 --> 00:21:19,429 That's the thrill. 516 00:21:19,483 --> 00:21:20,531 You never know what you're gonna get, 517 00:21:20,566 --> 00:21:21,888 moment to moment. 518 00:21:21,942 --> 00:21:23,596 Thankfully, 519 00:21:23,650 --> 00:21:26,055 she passed out before she could torch 520 00:21:26,108 --> 00:21:28,388 the rest of my body. 521 00:21:28,728 --> 00:21:31,097 I'd given up trying to find 522 00:21:31,150 --> 00:21:34,454 excitement like that again, till now. 523 00:21:35,483 --> 00:21:38,805 I'm gonna get some more of those, um, fudge stripes, 524 00:21:38,858 --> 00:21:40,406 and then I'll tell you about the time Monica 525 00:21:40,441 --> 00:21:42,138 shattered my kneecap with a pool cue. 526 00:21:42,192 --> 00:21:46,013 It was the best sex of my life. 527 00:21:48,733 --> 00:21:50,656 That cloud up there looks like a martini glass. 528 00:21:50,691 --> 00:21:52,930 Nah, it's clearly a beer funnel. 529 00:21:55,439 --> 00:21:56,767 When did you start drinking? 530 00:21:56,821 --> 00:21:57,845 Nine? 531 00:21:59,170 --> 00:22:00,450 Maybe earlier. 532 00:22:00,689 --> 00:22:02,013 I was 12. 533 00:22:02,067 --> 00:22:05,263 We had a beer keg tapped in our backyard at all times. 534 00:22:05,316 --> 00:22:06,837 Grow up in a fraternity? 535 00:22:07,691 --> 00:22:08,888 You ever try and stop? 536 00:22:09,481 --> 00:22:10,704 Course. 537 00:22:11,306 --> 00:22:12,346 Life's hard. 538 00:22:12,399 --> 00:22:14,471 Booze is my only escape. 539 00:22:14,524 --> 00:22:16,696 Why'd you hire a sober companion, then? 540 00:22:17,868 --> 00:22:19,263 I didn't. 541 00:22:19,316 --> 00:22:21,731 Highland Cosmetics did after the incident, 542 00:22:21,767 --> 00:22:23,554 where we're doing this Christmas commercial 543 00:22:23,608 --> 00:22:25,596 in the fall, and I was riding a horse 544 00:22:25,650 --> 00:22:27,689 through Central Park, and I fell off. 545 00:22:27,884 --> 00:22:28,513 Drunk? 546 00:22:28,566 --> 00:22:30,681 I was plastered. 547 00:22:31,358 --> 00:22:32,638 Course, the horse got spooked 548 00:22:32,691 --> 00:22:34,180 and took off, and guess what I did? 549 00:22:34,233 --> 00:22:36,180 Start chasing after him. 550 00:22:36,233 --> 00:22:37,448 - Sure. - I was wearing high heels 551 00:22:37,483 --> 00:22:39,721 and this snow angel thing. 552 00:22:40,751 --> 00:22:42,638 Yeah. I almost caught it, and I promise you, 553 00:22:42,691 --> 00:22:45,048 - I could've, had I not puked. - Sure. 554 00:22:45,376 --> 00:22:46,489 I'm surprised you didn't see it. 555 00:22:46,524 --> 00:22:48,073 It was all over the Internet. You didn't see the gif? 556 00:22:48,108 --> 00:22:51,055 - No. - The 557 00:22:51,108 --> 00:22:53,017 Aw, man. 558 00:22:54,077 --> 00:22:55,077 Oh. 559 00:22:58,358 --> 00:23:00,138 Let's go get some lunch. 560 00:23:00,192 --> 00:23:01,650 I'm fucking starving. 561 00:23:03,271 --> 00:23:04,672 Sure, yeah. 562 00:23:09,860 --> 00:23:11,497 Hey, Max. You got a second? 563 00:23:11,683 --> 00:23:14,337 Yeah, what's up? Late for a thing. 564 00:23:14,883 --> 00:23:17,242 - I need to get out of our deal. - What? 565 00:23:17,942 --> 00:23:20,730 Another opportunity came up, and I'm short on cash. 566 00:23:20,766 --> 00:23:22,100 What other opportunity? 567 00:23:22,608 --> 00:23:24,680 Is it something I want to invest in? 568 00:23:24,733 --> 00:23:27,846 I'm not allowed to say, but I gotta act fast. 569 00:23:28,150 --> 00:23:29,638 Are you kidding me? 570 00:23:29,691 --> 00:23:31,346 You bullied your way onto my project, 571 00:23:31,399 --> 00:23:33,254 and I can't get in on yours? 572 00:23:33,290 --> 00:23:35,138 I'm sorry. My hands are tied. 573 00:23:35,192 --> 00:23:37,198 So how can I get my money out of the Sunset Brook project? 574 00:23:37,233 --> 00:23:39,805 You can't. I mean, it's been invested. 575 00:23:39,858 --> 00:23:41,098 And the paperwork's already been 576 00:23:41,150 --> 00:23:43,388 filed on the partnership, so... 577 00:23:43,441 --> 00:23:45,346 Well, I wasn't expecting a 12-month delay 578 00:23:45,399 --> 00:23:46,743 on the senior center. 579 00:23:47,274 --> 00:23:48,439 None of us were. 580 00:23:49,233 --> 00:23:50,948 So what's the other thing? You getting a better return? 581 00:23:50,983 --> 00:23:53,235 Is that, uh... is that why you want to bail? 582 00:23:54,350 --> 00:23:55,505 Something like that. 583 00:23:55,541 --> 00:23:56,806 Jesus. 584 00:23:57,150 --> 00:23:58,430 You know, I thought we had a good 585 00:23:58,483 --> 00:24:00,243 business thing going here. 586 00:24:01,478 --> 00:24:04,180 I scratch your back, you scratch mine. 587 00:24:04,509 --> 00:24:06,229 See how you are, Gallagher. 588 00:24:06,274 --> 00:24:08,763 All right, don't forget my 25K. 589 00:24:17,025 --> 00:24:19,429 So we have a little sex toy obsession, do we? 590 00:24:19,483 --> 00:24:20,972 Obsession? No, no, I would... 591 00:24:21,025 --> 00:24:22,554 I wouldn't say that at all. 592 00:24:22,608 --> 00:24:23,865 It's actually the only sex toy we have, Father. 593 00:24:23,900 --> 00:24:25,972 Well, I'm sure you would both agree that 594 00:24:26,025 --> 00:24:28,554 exposing Amy to this kind of depravity 595 00:24:28,608 --> 00:24:29,615 is not in her best interest. 596 00:24:29,650 --> 00:24:31,471 With all due respect, Father, 597 00:24:31,524 --> 00:24:33,888 we're not exposing our daughter to any depravity. 598 00:24:33,942 --> 00:24:35,032 Need I remind you 599 00:24:35,067 --> 00:24:36,680 that your daughter brought 600 00:24:36,733 --> 00:24:39,895 a massive, veiny, vibrating dildo 601 00:24:39,931 --> 00:24:41,517 into preschool? 602 00:24:42,587 --> 00:24:44,554 Now, you may be asking yourselves how 603 00:24:44,608 --> 00:24:46,596 a pious man like myself 604 00:24:46,642 --> 00:24:48,588 could have such carnal knowledge 605 00:24:48,632 --> 00:24:51,680 of sexual fetishes and addictions. 606 00:24:51,733 --> 00:24:53,596 Yeah, no, we weren't asking that. 607 00:24:53,650 --> 00:24:55,304 I'm actually kind of curious. Yeah? 608 00:24:55,358 --> 00:24:57,638 Well, prior to serving God, 609 00:24:57,691 --> 00:24:59,638 I was in the United States Navy. 610 00:25:00,816 --> 00:25:02,805 You have no idea what loneliness is 611 00:25:02,858 --> 00:25:04,805 until you're trapped out at sea, 612 00:25:04,858 --> 00:25:07,805 away from home for months at a time. 613 00:25:09,983 --> 00:25:12,304 I was at a low point in my life as our ship 614 00:25:12,358 --> 00:25:14,429 pulled into Subic Bay. 615 00:25:14,483 --> 00:25:17,721 Little did I know that my life was about to spiral downward. 616 00:25:17,775 --> 00:25:19,596 As we disembarked from our ship, 617 00:25:19,650 --> 00:25:23,013 my fellow seamen and I were greeted by the warm smiles 618 00:25:23,067 --> 00:25:24,888 of the Subic Bay women. 619 00:25:24,942 --> 00:25:27,638 Let me tell you, a hug from a Subic Bay woman 620 00:25:27,691 --> 00:25:29,638 can take away all your loneliness, 621 00:25:30,131 --> 00:25:32,092 especially from one woman, 622 00:25:33,388 --> 00:25:35,502 named Ming-hang. 623 00:25:35,748 --> 00:25:36,846 Of course, I had to pay 624 00:25:36,900 --> 00:25:39,263 for her companionship, but what's a few pesos 625 00:25:39,316 --> 00:25:41,097 when you're treated like a king for an hour? 626 00:25:41,150 --> 00:25:44,471 Or in my case, a few hours, which turned into days, 627 00:25:44,524 --> 00:25:46,596 which turned into weeks, 628 00:25:46,650 --> 00:25:49,055 and then, eventually, my going AWOL, 629 00:25:49,108 --> 00:25:50,346 and being served 630 00:25:50,399 --> 00:25:52,596 a military warrant for my arrest. 631 00:25:55,185 --> 00:25:57,304 Is this $22 for a grilled cheese? 632 00:25:57,631 --> 00:25:59,763 Who cares? Get what you want. 633 00:25:59,816 --> 00:26:01,846 I'm gonna splurge and get the Cobb salad. 634 00:26:01,900 --> 00:26:03,346 Final answer. 635 00:26:03,399 --> 00:26:04,721 Oh, salad's splurging? 636 00:26:04,775 --> 00:26:06,097 It has creamy dressing. 637 00:26:06,150 --> 00:26:07,972 Oh. 638 00:26:08,639 --> 00:26:11,930 So what qualifies you to be a sober companion? 639 00:26:12,725 --> 00:26:14,263 I don't know, really. 640 00:26:14,316 --> 00:26:16,180 I mean, I've never done it before. 641 00:26:16,233 --> 00:26:17,263 Um. 642 00:26:17,316 --> 00:26:19,680 Barney trusts me, I guess, 643 00:26:19,733 --> 00:26:21,553 and I know how a drunk thinks. 644 00:26:22,943 --> 00:26:25,055 Here we go. Virgin Bloody Mary. 645 00:26:25,108 --> 00:26:26,721 Are you positive it's virgin? 646 00:26:26,775 --> 00:26:29,554 It's absolutely, 100%, a virgin. 647 00:26:29,608 --> 00:26:32,138 Uh, and Coke for the gentleman. 648 00:26:32,192 --> 00:26:33,680 Let me put this tray down. 649 00:26:33,733 --> 00:26:34,680 I'll be right back to take your order. 650 00:26:34,733 --> 00:26:36,888 Kay. This is, like, an entire salad 651 00:26:36,942 --> 00:26:38,471 - on my glass. - Oh, yeah. 652 00:26:38,524 --> 00:26:40,471 Guess they have to make up for it being a virgin. 653 00:26:40,524 --> 00:26:42,930 Oh, my God. 654 00:26:42,983 --> 00:26:44,531 Hey, you told Fred the waiter that a virgin meant 655 00:26:44,566 --> 00:26:47,162 to make it a double when I was in the bathroom. 656 00:26:48,345 --> 00:26:50,333 Fuck, I miss Barney. 657 00:26:50,942 --> 00:26:52,138 Sh... 658 00:26:52,192 --> 00:26:55,180 Jesus Christ. 659 00:26:57,358 --> 00:26:59,239 Anyway, at first, Ming-hang and I 660 00:26:59,274 --> 00:27:02,429 just talked and made love. 661 00:27:02,483 --> 00:27:05,138 Then she introduced me to something called the Hot Carl. 662 00:27:05,192 --> 00:27:06,554 Do you know what the Hot Carl is? 663 00:27:06,608 --> 00:27:08,180 - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - We got it. 664 00:27:08,233 --> 00:27:10,596 That quickly led to the Dirty Sanchez, 665 00:27:10,650 --> 00:27:12,180 and then the gorilla mask. 666 00:27:12,233 --> 00:27:14,013 It got to the point where I couldn't orgasm 667 00:27:14,067 --> 00:27:17,471 unless I was doing the Alabama Hot Pocket. 668 00:27:18,816 --> 00:27:19,638 Oh, that's when you defecate... 669 00:27:19,691 --> 00:27:21,805 Nope, Father. Too far. 670 00:27:21,858 --> 00:27:23,180 Oh, you're gonna stop him now? 671 00:27:23,233 --> 00:27:26,138 Anyway, the next time you reach for that dildo, 672 00:27:26,192 --> 00:27:28,055 or that butt plug, or that ball gag, 673 00:27:28,108 --> 00:27:29,471 you remember me, 674 00:27:29,524 --> 00:27:31,222 an innocent seaman 675 00:27:31,274 --> 00:27:33,222 just trying to serve his country 676 00:27:33,274 --> 00:27:35,972 while getting choked out to the point of asphyxiation 677 00:27:36,025 --> 00:27:38,346 by a Subic Bay woman named... 678 00:27:39,334 --> 00:27:40,881 Ming-hang. 679 00:27:41,650 --> 00:27:43,013 Father, our penance. 680 00:27:43,067 --> 00:27:44,680 Oh, yes, right. 681 00:27:44,733 --> 00:27:46,972 Um, say four Hail Marys 682 00:27:47,025 --> 00:27:48,388 and six Our Fathers. 683 00:27:49,441 --> 00:27:51,304 Thank you. 684 00:28:05,399 --> 00:28:07,180 Okay. 685 00:28:07,233 --> 00:28:09,388 - I just need your license. - Sure. 686 00:28:12,233 --> 00:28:13,554 Thank you. 687 00:28:16,566 --> 00:28:19,805 I see that you already have two mortgage loans with us. 688 00:28:19,858 --> 00:28:20,898 Yes. How long would it take 689 00:28:20,942 --> 00:28:22,972 to get more money against my property? 690 00:28:23,025 --> 00:28:26,304 - How much were you looking for? - $25,000. 691 00:28:26,358 --> 00:28:28,489 Well, we would have to start the whole approval process again 692 00:28:28,524 --> 00:28:30,304 and run a new credit check. 693 00:28:30,358 --> 00:28:32,471 We would need copies of your tax returns for the last 694 00:28:32,524 --> 00:28:35,138 two years, pay stubs for the last three months. 695 00:28:35,192 --> 00:28:37,138 Then we'll review all of your bank statements, 696 00:28:37,192 --> 00:28:39,222 just to ensure that you can complete the payments. 697 00:28:39,274 --> 00:28:40,846 After we have everything we need, 698 00:28:40,900 --> 00:28:41,680 it usually takes the underwriter 699 00:28:41,733 --> 00:28:43,763 about six weeks to approve. 700 00:28:44,787 --> 00:28:46,295 Six weeks? 701 00:28:46,566 --> 00:28:48,471 I need the money immediately. 702 00:28:48,524 --> 00:28:50,097 Well, there is an expedited procedure, 703 00:28:50,150 --> 00:28:51,304 but that will cost you 10%. 704 00:28:51,358 --> 00:28:53,263 - How expedited? - Ten days. 705 00:28:53,316 --> 00:28:55,304 Do you want to start the application process? 706 00:28:55,358 --> 00:28:56,358 Yes. 707 00:28:59,150 --> 00:29:00,180 Okay. 708 00:29:00,233 --> 00:29:02,013 So this is the layout 709 00:29:02,067 --> 00:29:04,263 of Beckman Correctional, all right? 710 00:29:04,316 --> 00:29:05,531 This is the area you want to avoid. 711 00:29:05,566 --> 00:29:07,554 Anything on the west side, 712 00:29:07,608 --> 00:29:09,763 the showers, this side of the yard, 713 00:29:09,816 --> 00:29:11,222 and these cells. 714 00:29:11,274 --> 00:29:13,013 That is a lot of area I'm avoiding. 715 00:29:13,067 --> 00:29:14,013 You'll thank me later. 716 00:29:14,067 --> 00:29:15,222 All the inmates over here 717 00:29:15,274 --> 00:29:17,721 are murderers. Murderer, 718 00:29:17,775 --> 00:29:19,888 murderer, murderer. 719 00:29:19,942 --> 00:29:21,138 Jesus. 720 00:29:21,943 --> 00:29:23,346 So this 721 00:29:23,725 --> 00:29:25,930 is the primo area at Beckman. 722 00:29:25,983 --> 00:29:27,304 All right? I'm talking about 723 00:29:27,358 --> 00:29:29,429 Disney compared to that shit over there. 724 00:29:29,483 --> 00:29:31,429 So over here, you'll get your good weed, 725 00:29:31,483 --> 00:29:33,680 your coke, your smoke, and your Snicker bars. 726 00:29:33,733 --> 00:29:35,429 Anything you need. 727 00:29:35,483 --> 00:29:37,073 Assume that anything you get from the west 728 00:29:37,108 --> 00:29:38,323 is gonna be laced with some shit 729 00:29:38,358 --> 00:29:39,364 that's gonna fucking kill you. 730 00:29:39,399 --> 00:29:40,482 Got it. 731 00:29:40,691 --> 00:29:42,055 Now, back in Disney, 732 00:29:42,108 --> 00:29:43,721 is where you'll find the guys 733 00:29:43,775 --> 00:29:45,888 that give the best blowies. 734 00:29:45,942 --> 00:29:47,554 All right? There's Ralphie. 735 00:29:47,608 --> 00:29:49,846 Clean, quick, easy. 736 00:29:49,900 --> 00:29:51,471 Old Man Stewie? 737 00:29:51,524 --> 00:29:53,680 He's good. The Senator. 738 00:29:53,733 --> 00:29:54,846 Oh, and Sasquatch. 739 00:29:54,900 --> 00:29:56,471 I don't know if he's still there. 740 00:29:56,524 --> 00:29:57,990 Big Pete, Medium Pete. 741 00:29:58,025 --> 00:29:58,888 All good. 742 00:29:58,942 --> 00:30:00,554 - Okay. - Hi. 743 00:30:00,608 --> 00:30:02,638 Anybody got any cash? I need $25,000. 744 00:30:02,691 --> 00:30:04,554 What? For what? 745 00:30:04,608 --> 00:30:06,781 I gotta put more money into this investment that I made. 746 00:30:06,816 --> 00:30:08,138 What investment? 747 00:30:08,192 --> 00:30:09,638 I put $100,000 into a 748 00:30:09,691 --> 00:30:11,013 parking lot that's gonna be... 749 00:30:11,067 --> 00:30:12,596 You got 100 grand? 750 00:30:12,650 --> 00:30:14,596 No, the... the bank gave me a line 751 00:30:14,650 --> 00:30:16,198 of credit against my apartment building. 752 00:30:16,233 --> 00:30:17,346 That's just dumb. 753 00:30:17,399 --> 00:30:19,013 Don't pay it back. 754 00:30:19,067 --> 00:30:20,638 No, then they'll take the building. 755 00:30:20,691 --> 00:30:22,222 You could try to sell something. 756 00:30:22,274 --> 00:30:23,486 What about your car? 757 00:30:23,522 --> 00:30:25,052 It's a lease. 758 00:30:25,151 --> 00:30:26,935 I can do you a solid. 759 00:30:27,650 --> 00:30:28,721 Who are you? 760 00:30:28,775 --> 00:30:29,513 Antonio. 761 00:30:29,566 --> 00:30:31,304 He's a friend. 762 00:30:31,358 --> 00:30:33,388 Pleasure. I know some guys 763 00:30:33,441 --> 00:30:37,222 that know some guys, get you 25 grand, take a cut. 764 00:30:43,115 --> 00:30:44,115 I'm good. 765 00:30:44,467 --> 00:30:45,930 I think I figured it out. Thanks. 766 00:30:45,983 --> 00:30:47,763 Don't forget, 767 00:30:47,816 --> 00:30:50,097 I'm driving you to prison in the morning. 768 00:30:50,150 --> 00:30:52,346 Okay. 769 00:30:52,399 --> 00:30:56,097 Why is my sobriety so important to you anyway? 770 00:30:56,150 --> 00:30:58,429 It's not. My sobriety is important to me. 771 00:30:58,483 --> 00:31:00,388 That makes no sense. 772 00:31:00,717 --> 00:31:02,304 Look, if I help you stay sober, 773 00:31:02,358 --> 00:31:03,805 it helps me stay sober. 774 00:31:04,084 --> 00:31:05,911 So narcissistic. 775 00:31:08,959 --> 00:31:10,680 What if I let you touch these? 776 00:31:11,232 --> 00:31:13,222 This is Highland. This is Cosmetics. 777 00:31:13,274 --> 00:31:16,346 It's nice to meet you, ladies, but I'm... I'm not interested. 778 00:31:21,691 --> 00:31:23,888 - Shit. - What? 779 00:31:23,942 --> 00:31:25,846 Barney's gonna be a couple hours late. 780 00:31:25,900 --> 00:31:27,429 Are you kidding me? 781 00:31:27,483 --> 00:31:30,013 Look, um, I've got my brother's last dinner, all right? 782 00:31:30,067 --> 00:31:31,198 So your ass is coming with me. 783 00:31:31,233 --> 00:31:33,975 Fuck that. I am going to the bar. 784 00:31:35,523 --> 00:31:37,512 Jesus. 785 00:31:40,150 --> 00:31:41,596 Two Flaming Dr. Peppers, please. 786 00:31:41,717 --> 00:31:43,005 You got it. 787 00:31:44,709 --> 00:31:45,680 What are you doing? 788 00:31:45,733 --> 00:31:47,013 Ordering us cocktails. 789 00:31:47,067 --> 00:31:48,222 Hey, she doesn't want those. 790 00:31:48,274 --> 00:31:49,513 Yes, she does. 791 00:31:49,904 --> 00:31:51,304 Well, I'm not gonna let you do this. 792 00:31:52,107 --> 00:31:54,055 You're such a buzzkill. 793 00:31:54,108 --> 00:31:57,180 It's only alcohol. Stop giving it so much power. 794 00:31:57,233 --> 00:31:59,304 It's like flavored water, for God's sake. 795 00:31:59,358 --> 00:32:01,178 Booyah! 796 00:32:03,816 --> 00:32:05,016 That's what I'm talking about. 797 00:32:05,269 --> 00:32:06,708 Thank you. 798 00:32:07,639 --> 00:32:09,055 Here you go. 799 00:32:09,091 --> 00:32:11,013 Come on, take it, you wuss. 800 00:32:12,483 --> 00:32:13,596 Hm. 801 00:32:13,650 --> 00:32:15,138 Please don't drink that. 802 00:32:15,192 --> 00:32:18,180 Douche-canoe, I'm a grown-ass woman. 803 00:32:18,233 --> 00:32:19,930 If I want to drink it, I'm gonna drink it. 804 00:32:19,983 --> 00:32:22,638 Hey, everybody, look, it's Jen Wagner, right here! 805 00:32:22,691 --> 00:32:23,691 Look! 806 00:32:25,459 --> 00:32:26,615 - Hi. - Hi. 807 00:32:28,441 --> 00:32:29,888 You asshole. Hi. 808 00:32:35,067 --> 00:32:36,888 I don't think you're gonna qualify. 809 00:32:38,475 --> 00:32:39,388 What? 810 00:32:39,441 --> 00:32:41,888 Uh, yeah, you don't have enough revenue 811 00:32:41,942 --> 00:32:43,763 to carry a third loan. 812 00:32:43,816 --> 00:32:45,115 Do you have any additional assets, 813 00:32:45,150 --> 00:32:46,888 bonds, stocks? 814 00:32:48,467 --> 00:32:49,788 No. 815 00:32:50,318 --> 00:32:52,222 Sorry. I can go ahead and push 816 00:32:52,274 --> 00:32:54,097 this expedited application through 817 00:32:54,150 --> 00:32:56,097 and we'll see what the underwriter says, but 818 00:32:56,150 --> 00:32:58,429 I don't think you're gonna get approved. 819 00:33:05,608 --> 00:33:06,967 Ah. 820 00:33:08,025 --> 00:33:09,364 You think this stuff makes us depraved? 821 00:33:09,399 --> 00:33:10,680 Fuck, no. 822 00:33:10,733 --> 00:33:12,680 Yeah, but the priest said that we're... 823 00:33:12,733 --> 00:33:14,097 Well, it's his job, Kev, 824 00:33:14,150 --> 00:33:15,304 to make us feel like shit 825 00:33:15,358 --> 00:33:16,531 about having a healthy sex life 826 00:33:16,566 --> 00:33:18,388 because he can't anymore. 827 00:33:18,441 --> 00:33:21,756 When is the last time we used any of this stuff, anyway? 828 00:33:22,983 --> 00:33:24,680 Like this butt plug? 829 00:33:24,733 --> 00:33:26,513 Watching the White Sox double-header. 830 00:33:27,100 --> 00:33:28,521 Oh, yeah. 831 00:33:29,357 --> 00:33:30,842 The rain delay. 832 00:33:31,566 --> 00:33:33,763 We just need to be more careful with the girls around. 833 00:33:33,816 --> 00:33:35,180 I don't want them walking in on us 834 00:33:35,233 --> 00:33:37,596 using any of this anytime soon. 835 00:33:37,650 --> 00:33:39,388 It'll probably just fall out, anyway. 836 00:33:39,441 --> 00:33:40,554 Excuse me? 837 00:33:40,608 --> 00:33:42,930 Of me. It'll fall out of me. 838 00:33:46,192 --> 00:33:48,097 Let's just throw it all out. 839 00:33:48,446 --> 00:33:49,958 Hell, no. 840 00:33:51,233 --> 00:33:53,805 We're gonna have a ceremony, 841 00:33:53,858 --> 00:33:55,972 a proper good-bye. 842 00:34:00,233 --> 00:34:01,138 Hey, Fiona, can you take the Sprite 843 00:34:01,192 --> 00:34:02,596 off this check for me, please? 844 00:34:02,650 --> 00:34:05,138 Um, just, um, comp the whole thing. 845 00:34:38,225 --> 00:34:39,388 Fuck. 846 00:34:39,441 --> 00:34:41,146 - Knock, knock. - What? 847 00:34:41,881 --> 00:34:43,521 Sorry to interrupt, boss. 848 00:34:43,826 --> 00:34:44,805 It's Linus' birthday. 849 00:34:44,858 --> 00:34:47,058 We're gonna have a few drinks later if you want to join. 850 00:34:47,615 --> 00:34:48,513 Sure. 851 00:34:48,566 --> 00:34:49,693 Okay. 852 00:35:20,623 --> 00:35:22,021 Is that her? 853 00:35:23,240 --> 00:35:24,805 Stay here. I'll go get your medications. 854 00:35:24,858 --> 00:35:26,131 Yeah, okay. 855 00:35:27,404 --> 00:35:28,805 Hey, hey. 856 00:35:28,858 --> 00:35:30,728 Looking good, Dr. Jones. 857 00:35:30,764 --> 00:35:32,252 Thanks, Baxter. 858 00:35:37,157 --> 00:35:39,353 Uh, Dr. Jones? 859 00:35:39,389 --> 00:35:40,888 Dr. Ingrid Jones? 860 00:35:41,301 --> 00:35:42,301 That's her? 861 00:35:42,443 --> 00:35:43,443 Yes? 862 00:35:44,076 --> 00:35:45,638 We met the other day in the ER. 863 00:35:45,807 --> 00:35:47,962 You lured me in with Vicodin? 864 00:35:49,192 --> 00:35:50,998 Bitch-slapped me, called me Timmy? 865 00:35:52,279 --> 00:35:54,889 You kissed me on behalf of Sarah Beth? 866 00:35:58,717 --> 00:36:00,497 You must have the wrong person. 867 00:36:03,775 --> 00:36:06,513 Baxter, tell Randy I'll be in my car. 868 00:36:06,566 --> 00:36:07,846 Oh, but... uh... 869 00:36:07,900 --> 00:36:09,068 Um... 870 00:36:10,483 --> 00:36:13,388 She was so different the other day. 871 00:36:13,441 --> 00:36:16,115 We really had a connection. She's so normal now. 872 00:36:16,608 --> 00:36:17,740 Well, they're always that way when they get released 873 00:36:17,775 --> 00:36:19,097 from here, Frank. You know that. 874 00:36:19,150 --> 00:36:20,222 I guess it's been a while. 875 00:36:20,274 --> 00:36:22,475 That man she was with, Randy? 876 00:36:22,685 --> 00:36:24,930 Yeah, her ex-husband. 877 00:36:25,498 --> 00:36:26,471 Good to know. 878 00:36:26,524 --> 00:36:28,346 W-w-what do you think? 879 00:36:28,399 --> 00:36:29,846 I don't know. 880 00:36:29,900 --> 00:36:31,763 Looks like she could shatter your kneecap. 881 00:36:31,816 --> 00:36:33,721 She really does, doesn't she? 882 00:36:34,228 --> 00:36:35,799 Come on. 883 00:36:38,691 --> 00:36:40,740 - That's some bullshit! - Where's my shit, motherfucker? 884 00:36:40,775 --> 00:36:42,740 You didn't tell me we were having dinner in the ghetto. 885 00:36:42,775 --> 00:36:44,448 Hey, you had me running around the city all day. 886 00:36:44,483 --> 00:36:45,304 Least you could do is hang here until 887 00:36:45,358 --> 00:36:47,013 Barney comes to pick you up. 888 00:36:47,067 --> 00:36:50,055 Hope I don't get mugged in the meantime. 889 00:36:50,318 --> 00:36:51,721 Hurry up. 890 00:36:51,775 --> 00:36:53,846 You're gonna be late for your gang initiation. 891 00:37:05,274 --> 00:37:07,513 There she is. 892 00:37:09,983 --> 00:37:11,680 - They're leaving. - Shit. 893 00:37:16,889 --> 00:37:18,162 What? 894 00:37:18,900 --> 00:37:20,429 Frank, what about me? 895 00:37:20,483 --> 00:37:23,138 Uh, take the, uh, number 16 bus. 896 00:37:26,441 --> 00:37:28,763 Okay, wait, wait, wait, wait, I have a better one. 897 00:37:28,816 --> 00:37:30,615 So Carl's, like, five or six years old, right? 898 00:37:30,650 --> 00:37:32,763 Enough with these Carl stories. 899 00:37:32,816 --> 00:37:34,281 - Hey, let me get that. - No way. I want more. 900 00:37:34,316 --> 00:37:35,316 Me too. 901 00:37:35,983 --> 00:37:37,972 Wow, looks like you're the one going to prison. 902 00:37:38,342 --> 00:37:40,180 Mm, this is amazing. 903 00:37:40,233 --> 00:37:42,471 I can't believe you've never had White Castle before. 904 00:37:42,524 --> 00:37:44,680 I only eat carrots, and then I throw them up. 905 00:37:44,733 --> 00:37:46,763 Come on, tell the story. 906 00:37:46,816 --> 00:37:48,638 All right, so he's five or six years old... 907 00:37:48,691 --> 00:37:50,198 Wait-wait-wait, is this the penis or the cat story? 908 00:37:50,233 --> 00:37:51,930 - Penis. - Shit. 909 00:37:51,983 --> 00:37:54,429 And he thought pee was stored in his scrotum. 910 00:37:54,483 --> 00:37:56,471 - No. - But he called it his... 911 00:37:56,524 --> 00:37:57,573 - Bubble gum. - Yeah. 912 00:37:57,608 --> 00:37:58,781 'Cause it looks like bubble gum. 913 00:37:58,816 --> 00:38:00,222 He took a screwdriver... 914 00:38:00,274 --> 00:38:02,138 - No! - Yeah. Yep. 915 00:38:02,192 --> 00:38:03,615 - Is that what that scar is? - Uh-huh. 916 00:38:03,650 --> 00:38:05,805 Well, and why the hell'd you do that? 917 00:38:05,858 --> 00:38:07,846 I thought I'd save some time, bypass the penis. 918 00:38:07,900 --> 00:38:08,846 Creative. 919 00:38:08,900 --> 00:38:10,222 See? I'm a genius. 920 00:38:10,274 --> 00:38:11,513 Yeah, you're a genius. 921 00:38:11,566 --> 00:38:12,805 Did pee come out? 922 00:38:12,858 --> 00:38:14,055 It smelled like pee. 923 00:38:14,108 --> 00:38:15,721 - Oh, God. - What a genius. 924 00:38:15,775 --> 00:38:17,888 Hey, guys. Sorry I'm late. 925 00:38:17,942 --> 00:38:19,429 I got stuck on the El for 20 minutes. 926 00:38:19,483 --> 00:38:20,873 - Nice. - Hey, what's going on, Deb? 927 00:38:20,908 --> 00:38:22,200 Ooh. 928 00:38:23,404 --> 00:38:24,972 Yes. 929 00:38:25,025 --> 00:38:27,930 - Was it two? - Was it? 930 00:38:27,983 --> 00:38:29,972 Why is that chick from those makeup commercials 931 00:38:30,025 --> 00:38:31,740 having dinner with us? 932 00:38:32,650 --> 00:38:33,972 Oh, shit, that's you. 933 00:38:34,025 --> 00:38:35,846 - Mm. - Hey, she's also done 934 00:38:35,900 --> 00:38:38,554 17 movies and 4 TV shows. 935 00:38:38,608 --> 00:38:40,554 And nominated for three Golden Globes 936 00:38:40,608 --> 00:38:41,656 - and a People's Choice Award. - Whoa. 937 00:38:41,691 --> 00:38:42,691 You're famous. 938 00:38:42,733 --> 00:38:43,733 You make a lot of money 939 00:38:43,775 --> 00:38:45,079 doing those commercials, huh? 940 00:38:45,115 --> 00:38:46,196 Hey. 941 00:38:46,232 --> 00:38:47,013 What? 942 00:38:47,067 --> 00:38:48,388 Say the line. 943 00:38:48,441 --> 00:38:50,429 - No. - Oh, you guys, 944 00:38:50,483 --> 00:38:51,846 come on, come on, come on. 945 00:38:51,900 --> 00:38:53,013 Come on. 946 00:38:53,067 --> 00:38:54,429 Come on. 947 00:38:58,399 --> 00:39:00,471 Face it. You're gorgeous. 948 00:39:00,524 --> 00:39:01,638 Wow. 949 00:39:01,691 --> 00:39:02,930 Whoo, whoo! 950 00:39:02,983 --> 00:39:04,304 Nice. 951 00:39:04,358 --> 00:39:06,304 Okay, now the Carl cat story. 952 00:39:06,358 --> 00:39:07,678 - Debs, you take this one. - Shit. 953 00:39:09,524 --> 00:39:11,846 ♪ Just enjoy your life ♪ 954 00:39:11,900 --> 00:39:15,846 ♪ Just enjoy your life ♪ 955 00:39:15,900 --> 00:39:18,471 Hey, turn off the music! 956 00:39:18,524 --> 00:39:22,972 ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪ 957 00:39:23,025 --> 00:39:27,471 ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪ 958 00:39:27,524 --> 00:39:29,888 ♪ Happy birthday ♪ 959 00:39:29,942 --> 00:39:32,721 ♪ Dear Linus ♪ 960 00:39:32,775 --> 00:39:36,805 ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪ 961 00:39:36,858 --> 00:39:38,972 Whoo! 962 00:39:39,025 --> 00:39:40,888 Yeah! 963 00:39:42,192 --> 00:39:45,638 Ugh, I ate more tonight than I've eaten in a month. 964 00:39:45,967 --> 00:39:48,346 Hey, uh, you realize 965 00:39:48,399 --> 00:39:49,698 you haven't talked about having a drink 966 00:39:49,733 --> 00:39:51,346 since you've been here? 967 00:39:51,399 --> 00:39:53,138 I guess I felt comfortable. 968 00:39:53,192 --> 00:39:54,573 Plus, I can't drink after 7:00 anyway, 969 00:39:54,608 --> 00:39:55,781 because everyone's gonna smell it on me 970 00:39:55,816 --> 00:39:57,138 at my meeting tomorrow morning. 971 00:39:57,192 --> 00:39:58,192 Aye. 972 00:39:59,076 --> 00:40:00,763 How's my shiv looking? 973 00:40:00,816 --> 00:40:02,638 Mm, sharper. 974 00:40:02,691 --> 00:40:04,180 That thing can't puncture flesh. 975 00:40:04,233 --> 00:40:06,180 E... see, look at mine. Mm? 976 00:40:06,233 --> 00:40:07,596 Oh, wow. 977 00:40:07,650 --> 00:40:09,389 Take that, you rape-y pillow. 978 00:40:10,274 --> 00:40:12,721 Uh, can I give my two cents about prison? 979 00:40:13,983 --> 00:40:14,721 Sure. 980 00:40:14,775 --> 00:40:16,222 Find a hobby. 981 00:40:16,274 --> 00:40:18,138 Makes the time go so much faster. 982 00:40:18,192 --> 00:40:19,930 Oh, papier-mâché's good. 983 00:40:19,983 --> 00:40:22,513 Easy to do with toilet paper, glue, and water. 984 00:40:22,566 --> 00:40:24,263 You learn that from one of your movies? 985 00:40:24,316 --> 00:40:25,721 Bitch, please. 986 00:40:25,775 --> 00:40:27,263 I served time. 987 00:40:27,316 --> 00:40:29,222 48 hours for DUI. 988 00:40:29,274 --> 00:40:31,263 Oh, I didn't know I was in the company 989 00:40:31,316 --> 00:40:33,139 of such a badass. 990 00:40:33,691 --> 00:40:35,429 Maybe I should go to prison, too. 991 00:40:35,483 --> 00:40:37,930 Seems like the only way I'll find a real relationship. 992 00:40:37,983 --> 00:40:39,263 That's not true. 993 00:40:39,316 --> 00:40:41,263 It is. I'm unlucky in love. 994 00:40:41,316 --> 00:40:42,680 Men, women... 995 00:40:42,733 --> 00:40:45,596 Hey, you're a special woman. 996 00:40:45,650 --> 00:40:47,888 You don't want just anyone. 997 00:40:47,942 --> 00:40:50,596 No, you... you want somebody who gets you. 998 00:41:03,067 --> 00:41:04,364 I played a lesbian once in a movie. 999 00:41:04,399 --> 00:41:06,596 - Whoa. - Wow. 1000 00:41:06,650 --> 00:41:07,656 Face it, 1001 00:41:07,691 --> 00:41:09,138 you're gorgeous! 1002 00:41:15,476 --> 00:41:19,270 If I don't come up with 25 grand... 1003 00:41:20,233 --> 00:41:22,846 I'm gonna be in default on my partnership agreement 1004 00:41:22,900 --> 00:41:24,180 and lose 1005 00:41:24,233 --> 00:41:27,138 my $100,000 investment. 1006 00:41:28,858 --> 00:41:30,888 I got my car repo-d this week. 1007 00:41:35,150 --> 00:41:37,471 And I'll have to foreclose 1008 00:41:37,524 --> 00:41:39,193 on my apartment building, 1009 00:41:39,900 --> 00:41:43,972 and my credit will just be... ruined. 1010 00:41:46,316 --> 00:41:47,721 My mom and I are getting kicked out 1011 00:41:47,775 --> 00:41:49,554 of our Section 8 housing. 1012 00:41:53,139 --> 00:41:54,222 That sucks. 1013 00:41:55,733 --> 00:41:56,972 I'm sorry. 1014 00:42:04,461 --> 00:42:05,904 What was that? 1015 00:42:06,402 --> 00:42:07,764 Looked like a dick. 1016 00:42:17,583 --> 00:42:18,613 Huh. 1017 00:42:23,691 --> 00:42:25,388 Bye-bye, hot pink anal beads. 1018 00:42:26,271 --> 00:42:28,097 We never really used them, anyway. 1019 00:42:28,627 --> 00:42:30,240 I did. 1020 00:42:31,358 --> 00:42:33,222 When you were visiting your mother. 1021 00:42:33,274 --> 00:42:34,429 You did? 1022 00:42:34,483 --> 00:42:36,263 Oh, yeah. 1023 00:42:36,316 --> 00:42:37,763 I was so stressed that night. 1024 00:42:37,816 --> 00:42:39,304 I thought I lost one inside me. 1025 00:42:39,358 --> 00:42:40,878 I couldn't remember 1026 00:42:41,274 --> 00:42:43,097 if I started out with five or six beads. 1027 00:42:45,274 --> 00:42:46,846 Good riddance. 1028 00:42:51,006 --> 00:42:54,120 Someone is up there, throwing stuff. 1029 00:43:00,404 --> 00:43:02,095 No. 1030 00:43:02,399 --> 00:43:04,131 I... I can't. I... I... 1031 00:43:04,775 --> 00:43:07,013 I have a boyfriend. Oh, 1032 00:43:07,067 --> 00:43:08,513 and I... I lied to him, 1033 00:43:08,566 --> 00:43:11,180 and he's really mad at me. 1034 00:43:11,772 --> 00:43:14,344 I might've fucked the whole thing up. 1035 00:43:17,399 --> 00:43:19,304 I have to apologize. 1036 00:43:45,566 --> 00:43:46,763 Hey. 1037 00:43:48,150 --> 00:43:50,021 For your commissary account. 1038 00:43:55,358 --> 00:43:56,596 I'll pay you back. 1039 00:43:56,650 --> 00:43:58,429 No, you won't. 1040 00:44:56,524 --> 00:44:57,888 Are you stalking me? 1041 00:44:58,211 --> 00:45:00,721 Do I need to call the police? 1042 00:45:00,775 --> 00:45:02,013 I know it was you. 1043 00:45:05,008 --> 00:45:06,750 I was having a bad day. 1044 00:45:07,485 --> 00:45:09,274 My medications were off. 1045 00:45:10,375 --> 00:45:11,680 Wasn't the real me. 1046 00:45:11,733 --> 00:45:15,138 I think it was the real you, and I loved it. 1047 00:45:16,164 --> 00:45:17,222 What? 1048 00:45:17,417 --> 00:45:19,594 You don't have anything to be ashamed of. 1049 00:45:19,923 --> 00:45:21,702 You are fantastic. 1050 00:45:24,102 --> 00:45:25,763 I wish I were normal. 1051 00:45:26,678 --> 00:45:27,833 Why? 1052 00:45:29,192 --> 00:45:31,930 I-I don't really like that part of me. 1053 00:45:33,108 --> 00:45:34,263 I do. 1054 00:45:36,316 --> 00:45:39,471 ♪ I'm moving on ♪ 1055 00:45:40,942 --> 00:45:42,846 ♪ Heading my way, Columbia ♪ 1056 00:45:42,900 --> 00:45:44,763 Hi, it's me. 1057 00:45:44,816 --> 00:45:46,846 ♪ I'm moving on ♪ 1058 00:45:46,900 --> 00:45:49,263 I'm sorry about our stupid fight. 1059 00:45:49,316 --> 00:45:50,471 ♪ I'm moving on ♪ 1060 00:45:58,233 --> 00:46:01,763 ♪ When the tables finally turn ♪ 1061 00:46:01,816 --> 00:46:03,304 ♪ I'm gonna be ♪ 1062 00:46:03,358 --> 00:46:04,471 You... 1063 00:46:04,524 --> 00:46:06,180 ♪ Your lesson learned ♪ 1064 00:46:11,233 --> 00:46:14,263 Hi, it's me. You didn't come home. 1065 00:46:14,316 --> 00:46:16,471 Call me. 1066 00:46:20,524 --> 00:46:23,513 Oh. 1067 00:46:23,566 --> 00:46:25,346 ♪ I'm rolling down the tracks ♪ 1068 00:46:27,192 --> 00:46:29,471 Oh, I can't... 1069 00:46:29,524 --> 00:46:32,596 ♪ Well, I'll be all right I'll be just fine ♪ 1070 00:46:32,650 --> 00:46:36,805 ♪ I'm a heartbreaker, baby I'm one of a kind ♪ 1071 00:47:41,858 --> 00:47:44,013 Hi. Is Ford here? 1072 00:47:44,371 --> 00:47:46,138 Do you know what time it is? 1073 00:47:46,192 --> 00:47:47,596 What's going on? 1074 00:47:52,274 --> 00:47:53,274 Fiona. 1075 00:47:55,858 --> 00:47:57,180 I got this, Patty. 1076 00:47:58,441 --> 00:47:59,512 Patty. 1077 00:48:00,629 --> 00:48:03,388 You s... you said Patty was your mother. 1078 00:48:03,613 --> 00:48:05,185 I'm his wife. 1079 00:48:06,262 --> 00:48:07,554 Daddy... 1080 00:48:09,277 --> 00:48:10,721 I can't sleep. 1081 00:48:10,775 --> 00:48:12,388 Oh, come on, sweetheart. 1082 00:48:12,441 --> 00:48:13,888 Let's go back to bed. 1083 00:48:13,942 --> 00:48:14,763 Fiona... 1084 00:48:14,816 --> 00:48:17,429 I'm such a fucking idiot. 1085 00:48:17,483 --> 00:48:20,097 Fiona, wait. Patty and I are separated. 1086 00:48:20,150 --> 00:48:21,721 That didn't look separated to me. 1087 00:48:21,775 --> 00:48:22,846 We're getting a divorce. 1088 00:48:22,900 --> 00:48:24,429 Why wouldn't you just 1089 00:48:24,483 --> 00:48:26,013 tell me that you're married? 1090 00:48:26,067 --> 00:48:27,596 We stayed together for the kid. 1091 00:48:27,650 --> 00:48:28,662 Oh. 1092 00:48:29,756 --> 00:48:32,091 Holy shit, you're a fucking asshole. 1093 00:48:32,942 --> 00:48:35,180 Fiona, just listen to me. 1094 00:48:35,233 --> 00:48:36,097 Fiona. 1095 00:48:36,150 --> 00:48:37,596 Can't believe this... 1096 00:48:37,650 --> 00:48:39,471 Fiona, listen to me for a second. 1097 00:48:39,524 --> 00:48:40,615 This is fucking... take your fucking hand off my car. 1098 00:48:40,650 --> 00:48:42,471 Don't do this, Fiona. 1099 00:48:42,524 --> 00:48:43,740 - Take your fucking hand... - No way! Fucking no! 1100 00:48:43,775 --> 00:48:45,638 Take your fucking hands off my car! 1101 00:48:45,691 --> 00:48:48,055 Fiona! Fiona! 1102 00:48:54,709 --> 00:48:56,031 Fiona! 1103 00:48:56,568 --> 00:48:57,638 Fiona! 1104 00:49:02,608 --> 00:49:05,263 Don't touch me. Don't touch me. 1105 00:49:05,316 --> 00:49:07,930 - Relax, relax. - Fu-fuck. 1106 00:49:08,545 --> 00:49:10,680 She's bleeding. she's fucking bleeding. 1107 00:49:11,099 --> 00:49:12,584 Oh, fuck... 1108 00:49:12,623 --> 00:49:14,471 - Fiona... - Fuck.... 1109 00:49:16,733 --> 00:49:18,222 Oh, fuck. 1110 00:49:18,274 --> 00:49:19,513 Fuck. 1111 00:49:19,566 --> 00:49:20,818 Fiona! 1112 00:49:29,608 --> 00:49:31,239 You sure she said she was gonna drive you? 1113 00:49:31,274 --> 00:49:32,721 Yep. 1114 00:49:32,775 --> 00:49:34,429 Still going to voice mail. 1115 00:49:37,025 --> 00:49:38,429 How about Uncle Kev drives you? 1116 00:49:40,983 --> 00:49:42,721 I'll go get my truck. 1117 00:49:42,775 --> 00:49:44,055 Thanks, man. 1118 00:50:19,108 --> 00:50:20,388 All right. 1119 00:50:22,316 --> 00:50:23,615 I, uh... 1120 00:50:24,358 --> 00:50:25,846 thought Geneva and some of the others 1121 00:50:25,900 --> 00:50:27,388 would be here, but... 1122 00:50:29,192 --> 00:50:31,346 You can only count on family, dude. 1123 00:50:35,025 --> 00:50:36,763 I'm gonna miss you. 1124 00:50:49,358 --> 00:50:51,013 Don't get too raped in there, all right? 1125 00:50:51,067 --> 00:50:52,513 - Kevin! - I'm sorry. 1126 00:50:52,566 --> 00:50:54,157 I don't know what to say in these situations. 1127 00:50:54,192 --> 00:50:55,972 How about "Bye" and "I love you"? 1128 00:50:57,358 --> 00:50:58,779 B-bye, man. 1129 00:50:59,686 --> 00:51:00,805 I love you. 1130 00:51:01,139 --> 00:51:02,665 I love you guys, too. 1131 00:51:09,024 --> 00:51:10,720 Hey, uh... 1132 00:51:14,399 --> 00:51:16,138 Thanks for being my brother. 1133 00:51:16,350 --> 00:51:18,680 Uh, never had a choice. 1134 00:51:26,233 --> 00:51:28,193 All right. 1135 00:51:29,337 --> 00:51:30,492 See you guys. 1136 00:51:31,605 --> 00:51:32,594 Have a good one. 1137 00:51:32,630 --> 00:51:33,762 See ya. 1138 00:51:34,983 --> 00:51:36,388 Open up! 1139 00:51:39,025 --> 00:51:40,055 Let's go. 1140 00:52:18,942 --> 00:52:20,596 Knock it off. 1141 00:52:50,524 --> 00:52:52,263 I rolled on the cartel I was working for, 1142 00:52:52,316 --> 00:52:54,972 and in exchange, guess who gets 1143 00:52:55,025 --> 00:52:56,763 to pick where he gets locked up? 1144 00:52:57,568 --> 00:52:59,013 Holy fuck. 1145 00:52:59,248 --> 00:53:01,888 Oh, hey, I got bottom, 1146 00:53:01,942 --> 00:53:03,068 so... 1147 00:53:03,650 --> 00:53:05,342 you're on top. 1148 00:53:09,233 --> 00:53:11,680 ♪ Yeah, yeah, oh ♪ 1149 00:53:11,733 --> 00:53:12,930 ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪ 1150 00:53:14,775 --> 00:53:17,304 ♪ That's the way every day goes ♪ 1151 00:53:17,358 --> 00:53:19,388 ♪ Every time we've no control ♪ 1152 00:53:19,441 --> 00:53:21,721 ♪ If the sky is pink and white ♪ 1153 00:53:21,775 --> 00:53:23,721 ♪ If the ground is black and yellow ♪ 1154 00:53:23,775 --> 00:53:27,888 ♪ It's the same way you show me ♪ 1155 00:53:27,942 --> 00:53:31,180 ♪ Glory from above ♪ 1156 00:53:31,233 --> 00:53:33,513 ♪ Regard my dear ♪ 1157 00:53:36,608 --> 00:53:39,513 ♪ It's all downhill from here ♪ 77918

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