All language subtitles for Listen.Up.Philip.2014.WEB-DL.x264-RARBG-eng

He had been living
in the city for nine years,

and was only now coming
to think of it as home.

Characteristically,
not in a hurry,

but perpetually enraged
by slow foot traffic
before him,

Philip was on this day
meeting for lunch with Mona,
his ex-girlfriend,

whom he had
dated throughout
a portion of college.

As with any
punctual individual,

Philip loathed
when people ran late,

which Mona typically was.

By the time Mona
made her way to Philip,

that led to their breakup,

Mona repeatedly
emphasized Philip's
short fuse and poor temper

as key factors in
no longer being capable
of tolerating his company.

It's just crazy that
you're late to me.
It's just...

Can we stop talking
about it? I'm here now.

Twenty-five minutes
I'm waiting, almost 30.
It's an insult. Also, I have a really
busy day, so now
I have less than an hour.

Probably not even enough
time to eat anything.

Maybe a grilled cheese for me.

I had that the other day.
It's disgusting.

So I'll ask you
how you are, right?
Things are good?

Things are
good with me.

Allie and I just finally
found a new roommate.

Oh, what's-her-ass moved?

She got married like,
two years ago.
Figures.

Is that the new book?
Oh, yeah.

I wasn't sure you'd
noticed, or heard.

Okay.
I'm just getting ready.

Things are gonna
be pretty crazy for me
after the release.

In fact this might be
the last time I'm home

for more than
a week at a time

for the next eight
or possibly nine months. Actually,
yeah, definitely.
It's just busy.

Los Angeles in January,
San Francisco...

Powell's in Portland,
the whole West Coast thing,
really.

I'm told to expect
big things out there.

You sound like
you're bragging.
That's because I am bragging. And you're doing
a really hurtful job
of sounding unfazed.

And do you
know why that is?

Because you're
not pretending.

You're not interested
in this or me,
not even a little. Why would you say that?

Because you
never believed in me,
and you don't now.

Well, good for you.

No, not good for me.
Great for me.

You know,
you told me many times,

ow that I think
about it, actually... ...that my goals
were unreasonable
and foolhardy.

Am I recalling
this correctly?

That my dream,
the only dream I've had

since I was
14 years old,

to write and publish
a novel of my own,

wasn't something I could
just reach out and have.

Hard work, you tell me.
Years of working up from
the bottom, you tell me. Well, you know something?
You were wrong.

Dead wrong, actually.
About me and everything.

This was for you.
It's an advance copy.

I'd even written a little note
on the dedication page
and everything.

But you know something?
You don't support me
and you never did.

So you don't get this
gift from me, not today,
not ever. Forever.

You were unkind,
and you tried to
stray me from my path.

And had I listened to you,
I'd be nothing right now.

Philip had never been one
for speaking his mind,

preferring instead to
bottle up his emotions,

eventually forgetting
or utilizing them for
creative inspiration.

However, this outpouring
resulted in Philip feeling

more satisfied and content
than he had in some time,

and it was for this reason
that he immediately telephoned
his college roommate, Parker,

with the intention of
delivering to him an equally
robust dressing down.

You blew people's
minds, man.

Now look at you.
You're just a combination
of strange fucking colors.

It was gonna be
you and me, man.
Ring a bell?

Sophomore year,
creative writing seminar,
it was us versus them.

What the fuck
happened?

I...

Apparently not
everybody's cut out
for life in the fast lane. You make me want back
every minute of time
I wasted with you,

dreaming of a future
we could share.

Our declaration
of principles.

Remember this?

It's worthless now.

I was so stupid
to think you wanted it...

I wanted it,
you fucking asshole!
I did want it.

I wanted it more
than you could know.

It's not so easy
for everybody, okay?

We can't all be as lucky
and talented as the great
Philip Lewis Friedman.

You know what, though?
I'm glad, I'm glad.

Because if both of our
goals had come true,

then I'd be just as
much of an insufferable
piece of shit as you,

you fuckin'
Jew bastard!

This could
have been us.

Instead, I'm all alone.

Returning home
to the apartment he shared
with Ashley Kane,

his girlfriend of two years,

Philip found himself gripped
by uncontrollable lust,

temporarily forgetting
the ambivalence
and negligence towards him

that she was increasingly
incapable of concealing...
Ashley?

...as her success
as a photographer
in the art world

led to consistent and
lucrative commercial work.

Hello? Ashley?

Hello.

Come out.
I have a surprise for you.

For the past year,
they had been living together,

one advantage of which
was added stability,

and a clear
head space for writing.

Philip would credit this
with allowing him to
finish his second novel,

which he previously
believed himself
unable to complete.

...Parker,
and I smoked him too.
I don't know what happened.

Parker too?
Yeah, so...

Two nemesi in one day.
Yes.

That's pretty hot.

I'm really proud of you.
Thank you very much.

I, uh... I feel...
No, it's insane.

It's very hot.

What is? The champagne?
You being mean. Oh.

Not hot when
you stand like that.

Not hot. You ruined it.
Go back to your story.

Despite these recent events,

Philip was incapable of
experiencing happiness. He counterbalanced
his feelings of love
and productivity

with periods of
extreme isolation,

sometimes finding that days
on end had passed since
last leaving the house. Shortly after the rush
of severing ties

with those he believed
to be poisonous
to his mental health,

Philip was too crippled
with anxiety and dread

to go outside for
the better part of a week.

Philip had harbored
increasingly romantic notions

about what this period
in his life would mean,

until one day, a few months
before the publication
of his second novel,

he abruptly became
confidently disenfranchised

to the point of despondency.

You know this
should be your job.

So sorry
about the wait.
Ah, it's ridiculous.

Thirty minutes
I'm out here,
40 maybe.

I'm five away
from leaving.

I'm sorry. What do
you want me to say?

Nothing. I'd prefer
you to say nothing.

Riley,
don't hold my calls.

I've got some bad news,
two items of good news.

Give 'em to me in that order.

Bad news is you're not looking
at a good review in the Times. What? How do we know
so soon? Who's doing it?

Some new woman.
She's new.

So what's
the problem?

She doesn't like your book.

Fuck, I really needed that.
I'll take the good news now.

Well, two things.

First, you're going
to be in the
"35 Under 35" issue of the New York
Literary Review.

Nobody reads that anymore.

This is something.
It is not uncompetitive.

Don't be a baby. Shit.

Other thing is,
Ike Zimmerman
got back to me.

He liked your book,
wants to meet you.

That's huge.

Ike Zimmerman was one of
the most prolific American
authors of the 1970s and '80s.His breakthrough novel,
Madness & Women,

sold over three million copies
in hardback alone.

Lesser returns and failed
genre experiments gave way
to the triumphant comeback

Audit in 1982.

Since then
he published infrequently.

He had not completed
a novel in six years.

Do you wanna look
in our wardrobe area?

We can probably find you
a lighter-weight jacket.

Let's just keep this jacket
on me and take the photograph
sooner rather than later.

We actually wanted to get
a picture of you in front
of the printing press,

and then the portrait.

Is that from
the 1920s?
Yeah.

Well, I'm not,
so let's skip it

and move on over to this
yellow thing, all right?

I know.
"What an asshole."

Do you mind standing?

What is this for?

Could you open it
as though you're reading,
then look at me again?

I don't wanna do that.

Why?
It's a poor idea.

Why would I be standing up
with my jacket buttoned,
reading?

It's just a prop.
I can see that.

But I think it
presents a very false
depiction of me.

I'd much rather
this picture at least
seem honest.

You know,
Tolkien wouldn't
allow himself

to be photographed writing,

because he didn't allow
anybody to watch him work. Same idea here.
Just slightly modified
to suit me.

Philip.

I hope that
wasn't too bad.

It's always bad.
There's just degrees of bad.

Oh, hey. How's it going?

Good.

We've met before.

I don't think we have.

You sure about that?

I wanted to tell you
I really liked your book.

Those advance copies
really get around, huh?

Anyway,
the first one's better.

Um, I haven't read it.

I'm not some weird
groupie or anything.

No, if you were a groupie,
you'd likely would have
read both my books.

Are there book groupies?
Author groupies?

Not many, but yeah.

Hey.

Quick thought I just had.
I'm not doing any press
for the book at all. Readings, interviews.
Nothing.

You cannot be serious.
Oh, quite.

That's a horrible,
horrible idea.

I don't like the idea
of being on display.
My mind is made up.

I wanna be left alone.
Hi, Riley.

I think the tie
is a bit much.

I'm invited to his home.
I don't wanna look
like a schmo.

Then maybe
lose the jacket.

You know,
it's 80 degrees out.

It looks like
you don't own a more
seasonally-appropriate jacket.

I think it looks nice.

Yeah. Nice,
just kind of sweaty.

Philip Lewis Friedman.

Go get 'em.
Okay, bye.

Bye.

Pleasure.
Good luck.

Thank you.
Fix your collar.

Huh? Oh. Thank you.
Your collar.

I'd seriously consider
having a better answer to
that question if I were you.

I'm filling up notebooks,
but it's nothing
but worthless garbage.

Don't tell people that.

Makes you look
lazy and stupid.

Got it.

That probably
came out a lot crueler
than I intended. But don't make being
lackadaisical and
disorganized your thing.

It sends out a message
that you'll regret.

I see.

Do you have
a nice place to write?

I mean,
that's important.

You'll find that,
if you haven't already.

I rented a small studio.

Does it work for you?

No, not really.
In fact, I rarely go.

Here.

I probably wouldn't have
wanted to hear this either

when I was your age,
but...

The city.

You can't get
anything done here.

It has a creative energy,
but not a productive energy.

Quiet does not exist,
and I find that difficult.

Do you know, I've not
written a single page
within the city limits

these past 30 years?

You'll need a country retreat,
if you can afford one.I can't.

Of course, I had achieved
considerably more
than you by now.

Not to be insulting.
Of course.

But if I can be
of any assistance,

if I can help in any way,
just ask outright.

Don't be shy.

I loved your book.

Yeah, it was okay.
Don't denigrate yourself.

It's really,
really good,

and it would be
a shame for me not
to read another one.

Hello.

It's a filthy system,
the way it's structured.
You can trust me on this.

I'm not sorry if this
kills any of your illusions
about anything.

I feel like it's my job
to tell you the honesty.

Nobody else has.

Nobody else can.

It's rare to find
these things out,
and also upsetting.

These little glasses.
Let me see these things.

Oh, yeah, we have
the exact same affectation.

Emily.

Seems like a less
than ideal place to carry on.

Is it 'cause you
have a girlfriend?

You mentioned her
in an interview.

It's because it's gauche
to grope and kiss in public.

You really don't remember
meeting me, do you?

I had a photo shoot
in that same place

when my first book came out.

I gave you
a copy of it.

You acted like you
were better than some
first-time author

obody had
ever heard of,

even though you were
probably still in college.

I wrote my number
in it, twice.

I really honestly don't
remember meeting you.

Sorry, but I remember
you now.

No, of course you do.

Okay. I'll call you.

Where were you?

Out.

So my meeting
with Ike today...

Oh, so he's Ike now?

With Zimmerman.
How's your gin?

How was he?
He has a quality that can
only be described as

chrome.

And?

He seems to wanna help me.

How can he help you?

He didn't say.

He's got great stories.
I'd love to hang out
with him again.

Do we have plans?

Do we have plans when?

Whenever.

Yes, Philip, I'd say sometime
in the indeterminate future,
we may have plans.

Good shoot today?

Can you just leave me alone?
I have to do this.

You're fucking with
other people's money here.

Money, money, money.
What about my integrity?

You know, I can think of
a few other important writers

who also took a firm
no-press position.

I just wanna know
that you've thought it
through thoroughly.

I haven't. It's a very
impulsive decision,

and I'm very pleased
with myself for that.

Philip, this is
Josh Fawn.

Josh, this is Philip,
who's being a baby
and an asshole.

Ciao. Yes, we've met before.
We've done some
panels together.

I remember one of them.

Phil, Josh is going
on a promotional tour
for his new book.

That's what responsible
authors do.

It helps them sell copies
and benefits
all parties involved.

Noted.
We're wanting you
to cover this

as a feature for one
of several magazines,

that we're currently
negotiating with.

I just like the new book,
and this idea came up, and I kind of
suggested you.

Thanks, Josh.
Interest?

Terms?

You'll take whatever
we can get you.

It'll be two to three weeks.

I assume we can get you
something like 5,000 to 8,000

depending on where
we ultimately sell it to.

Right in my pocket.
Sounds great.

See, when I slam a door,
life opens a window.

When do we leave?

You gonna be speaking
in little turns of phrase
like that the whole time?

I might. I don't know.

I think this is
gonna be fun.

You wanna go sit somewhere
and talk more about it?

I think we're pretty much
on the same page.

Hey, thanks
for doing this,
by the way.

You don't seem to give
a shit about this at all.

Sure, I do.

I'm a nice guy.
Read an article about me.
I'm self-deprecating.

No, I'm not thrilled
you're going away
for over a month.

That is why
I'm acting like this.

Can we please not
talk about this in public?

It strikes me as unlikely,
as you supported
ideas like this

when I still could
have turned them down.
I need the money.

What I said was,
it would be good
for your career.

I thought you
meant "career"
with a dollar sign.

I think we need more.

Fireworks, shooting guns.

Maybe we need
to get arrested.

Yeah, that might be
a little bit problematic

for some of my younger,
more impressionable fans.

I have a lot of those,
I'm told.

Hi.

Ashley.

Oh, my God. Hi.

Josh.
Josh.

Yeah.

Wow. How are you?

I'm good. How you doin'?

It was...

Beth's wedding?
Beth's wedding, right.

Wow. Was a fun night.

I'm foggy.

Good to see you.
Yeah, nice to see you as well.

You guys know each other.

Yeah, we fucking
live together.

Nice.

How you take
a punch, Josh?

Excuse me?
I think we should get into a fight.

For the article.
I think it'd be
a neat idea.

Stand up, Josh.

Okay.

I'm gonna show you
how to take a punch.

I know how to take a punch.

I'm gonna show you
the right way
to take a punch.

Okay.
Hit me.

Where?
Right in my stomach.

Hit me as hard as you can,
just at my stomach.

That wasn't
as hard as I can.

I know. I hope not.

Hit me again.
Harder. Seriously.
Yeah, okay.

Go. Yeah.
You ready?

Harder?
Go. Harder.

I'm fine.

What I did was essentially,
breathing is key.

Think of it as, like...
Just hit me.

All right, you ready? Okay.
Yeah.

One...

Two...

It's canceled. I'm fired,
if you can believe that.

The whole damn time,
he had another guy

and was talking
to another magazine,
and just goes with that.

It's sociopathic,
is what it is.
Fucking snake.

Feel like a real
fat loser right now.

You should use the time
doing something
equally as productive.

Well, I was actually
planning to stay home
and suffer quietly

as I can no longer
afford to do much else.

Come to my country house.

Stay with me.

Rub two sticks together.

Make a fire.

I know most people
expect surprising
and generous offers

to be politely refused,

but I might have to
call your bluff
and emphatically accept.
How does Memorial Day sound?

That's next week.

Sooner the better.

I have a girl,
Melanie, up there.

She looks
after the place.

I'll mention it to her.

Thank you.

Skol.

Philip had
begun to feel that
the city was rejecting him,

and Ike's sudden offer
of solitude and respite
was immediately appealing.

So much so that Philip
even requested that
the invitation be open-ended,

and that he be allowed
to stay until he felt

emotionally capable
of returning to the city.

To Philip's surprise,
Ike considered this
a terrific idea,

and even said so.

Actually,
that's a terrific idea.

I admire you for
being so bold as to
come right out and ask.

I know that sounds
like I'm being sarcastic,
but I'm not.

Ike had begun
to lose his passion for being
alone all the time,

and was eager to have
an impressionable young mind
on which to impart his wisdom.

It was under
these circumstances
that Philip agreed

to spend a portion of his
summer upstate with Ike,

rather than
in the city with Ashley.

Ashley had not been
the first to notice

Philip's increasingly
marginal role in her life.

It was talked about often
by friends and colleagues,

none of whom ever had
a relationship with Philip,

but grew used to hearing
about him much more
than they had been lately.

It had been months
since Ashley felt any real
connection to Philip.

He began to drift away
while applying the finishing
touches to his new book

and had never come back.

She tried her best to ignore
the mounting signs,

regarding her role
in Philip's life,
or his in hers.

She wanted him to want her,

and the slowly dawning
realization that he might not

was enough to push her
into emotionally
unprecedented levels

of doubt
and misdirected anger.

So it's canceled,
and you're suddenly
leaving again?

Looks like it.

God, you'd do anything
to get away from me.

You see, it's remarks
like that that tell me
I'm doing the right thing.

Can we please talk?

Okay. Talk.

Kind of figured
you would say something.

Nope.

Actually, I do have
something to say, and I imagine you'll
not care to hear it,
and it is this. I'm not going to Ike's
for just the week.

He invited me
to stay for longer.

Wait, longer?
Yeah.

I don't understand.

Honestly, I don't see myself
returning till July or so.

So you're basically
leaving me for
the whole summer.

Not if you look
at it like that.

How am I supposed
to look at it?
Look at it like this.

I was supposed
to be gone most of
June anyway, right?

I don't see how
this is any different.

I can't breathe here,
and you seem to
resent my presence. Thus I'm unable to work.

It's ugly. It's loud.
It's always moving.

I never feel still long
enough to hold a thought.

I feel sick out there
among the people.

I need to remedy this,
and an opportunity
has presented itself.
I'm gonna take it.
I've got no money and no hope
of another advance.

I'm doing what's best for me.

Yeah, you're doing
what you're best at.

You're looking out for
your own self interests

without thinking about
how it might affect me
or anybody else. Typical. You're hardly around anyway.
What do you care?
You won't even notice.

Hey, don't tell me
I'm not gonna notice

that I'm alone
all of a sudden.

Why can't you do something
that involves me?

Why can't we go
somewhere together?

You know, alone or...

Is it the money?
Because I don't mind if you
need to borrow some again...

Put your money
away, all right?

I'm not taking
any money from you.
Those days are behind me.

Forever, I told myself.

I hope this will
be good for us.

But especially for me.

You are selfish
and unsentimental.

Everyone knows
this about you.

You say that like
it's a bad thing.

On the contrary...

An admirable trait,
if you ask me.

I come from
an unsupportive background.

Yeah, I do, too,
but don't cling to it.

It'll make you
lazy and angry.

Your work will suffer.
I'll keep that in mind.

And I don't believe
you need to exacerbate
these instincts in yourself

more than
you already do.

You got it.

Now, your room's
out the back.

I...

I have to go to the city
for a couple of days.

Do you think you'll
be all right here?

Yes, I do.
I thought so.

Hello?

Dad?

Hello?

Are you that kid?

You're the caretaker, Melanie?

Dad mentioned
you might be here.

So this comes
as no surprise.

Not to me, no.

"Dad"?

Beautiful sunset.

Productive day?
Not particularly.

I'm glad that
he's replaced himself
with a younger surrogate

to handle the forlorn moping.

I'm glad it pleases you.

He'll be back
in a few days.

I know.

I wasn't sure
if you cared about me
being here and him not.

I do not.
Right.

Because you are a guest.

And this is probably
your summer home.

He used to bring other
women here so he could
cheat on my mother.

So no family vacations.

Only horrible,
traumatic ones.

You never smell
cut grass in the city.

I don't find you charming.
You are just like him,

and I hope you learn to take
responsibility for yourself

before you destroy
the lives of people
who care about you.

This is really nice.

Thanks, Dad.

So how's it been up here?

It's been good.

I've really enjoyed
all the alone time.

I'm sorry about
the scheduling problem.

Will you admit that
you made a mistake?

I don't think
that's necessary.

It was a simple
misunderstanding.

Could happen to anyone.

Was anybody
speaking to you?

I thought I was part
of the conversation.

Well, you weren't
supposed to be.

In fact, you're not
even supposed
to be here. I am. Does that make sense?

You are the scheduling
problem I was referring to. I thought you were talking
about how your father
had to go back to the city.

Yeah, I thought so too.
Well, I wasn't.

You didn't
make that clear,
sweetheart.

I can't process how
grossly dissatisfied
I find myself feeling.

Things I've coveted
for years are mine now,
and all I feel is miserable.

That is so cliche.

But you know that,
so I won't bother reminding
you of how silly you sound.

Didn't you say
you placed on some

silly list of
young so-and-so's?

35 under 35.

That's it. Yeah.

Yeah, we didn't have
crap like that
when I was your age.

You're ahead of the game.

Yeah, but when you were 32,
didn't you win the
National Book Award?

That's true.

But you are not me.

How would you like
to accept a gracious
favor I've done for you?

Depends on what it is.

That answer is at once
both arrogant and correct.

Don't accept too readily
something you might want.

In any event, a friend
of mine from Lambert College
got in touch.

They're looking for an adjunct
creative writing instructor

for the fall semester.
I teach there occasionally,

as you know, but usually
more advanced seminars.

I find this to be
beneath me,

but it's a good
opportunity for you.

He'd like to interview
you tomorrow.
You can take my car.

What does it pay?

At that level,
I have no idea.

But, hey, you haven't
got the position yet.

I've merely placed you
on their radar.

But you're notable now,
and that helps.

We're so excited
you accepted.

The new book
is really terrific.

Oh, boy.

I wish somebody here
would say something mean.

Mean?
Or honest.

It's unlikely that everybody
here has nothing but praise.

It's not real.
I don't like how
this is starting.

These are decent people.

They just
want to be your friend.

I know, that's the problem.

Sorry to bother you again.
Is there trash in here? Yes, I'm right here.

Hey.

It's Philip.

You look like you're asleep
with your eyes open.

I didn't even
see you there.

You were looking
right at me.

You were right.
This place is beautiful.

You sure you don't
want any of these?

Brought you a whole box.

I'd rather just look around
and stare at people.

I was surprised
you called me.

I didn't see any way
that I couldn't.

Things are pretty hectic
with my new book
and everything.

That's pretty cool.

No, it's not cool.
It's fucking amazing.

Do you know how few
people reach this level?

You seem to not care.

I really don't.

Did you ask me here
so you could talk
about yourself?

Next question.

Does talking about this stuff
make you feel happy?

No.

I find thinking about
it all to be unfulfilling
and exhausting.

Does nothing for me.

Well, that's how
the rest of your life
is gonna be. Unfulfilling and exhausting.

I think success
has made you ugly.

I think you've gotten
far too in touch with
your selfish instincts,

and it's not healthy.

But I still think
about you.

I think the guy I used
to know would have made
a really great boyfriend.

I want to take that
cupcake out of your
hand right now

and throw it
so fucking far
away from you.

Goddamn it,
you make me sick.
You're just a big baby.

Babies wanna be around
sugar all the time.

No wonder
you're a baker.

You're the worst.

I'm not successful.
I'm notable.

There's a difference.
Besides, I'm not
notable, either.

Noteworthy at best.

I once considered you
my favorite ex-girlfriend.

That's very
sweet of you.

Let's turn this day around,
do something fun.

Maybe, I don't know,
break into a bank,

or rob a car
or something.

All right, let's do it.
Let's do it.

Got some wire hangers
at my place.

Oh, great, well, let's steal
a car, go to your place,
get the wire hangers, come back,
steal another car,
and just drive off.

Okay.
I feel like it
wouldn't be weird

for you to kiss me
right now.

Every girl's
so beautiful to me.

I don't want to think
about her at all anymore.

You should have
followed her.
She wouldn't have me. Besides, she's moved on...

And in a way, so have I.

Just not actually,
of course.

Well, I speak from
experience when I say
that it is horrible

to be treated in a way
that only points out
how meaningless you are.

Never thought of it
that way.

He's here.

Yeah, he just
walked into your bedroom.

Oh, hey, how's it goin'?

You're a monster.

I hate you.

Then I doubt you'll
mind me being gone
through December.

I don't even know
how to respond to that.

I've been offered a position
teaching creative writing

at Lambert College.

I'm moving there
for the semester.

You stood in my way when
I had so many opportunities.

I guess that's why
I'm telling you about
this after I agreed to it.

So you decided to sneak back
in the middle of the night?

It's not the middle of the
night, Ashley. It's 10:00 p.m.

Besides, I had some meetings
in the city that ran late,

and I considered
just buying new clothes,

but I needed to get some books
I wanted to re-read. Also, I want my car.

Oh, shit, I forgot
about the car.

You haven't been moving
it for street cleaning?

I've been gone
for three weeks.

Do you know how many
tickets I must have?

Shit.

I kind of would have thought
this to be beneath you.

You know, at one time
I would have as well,

but look at me now.

You're a man
of contradictions.

No, I'm not. Who are
all these assholes?

They're my friends.

"They're my friends."

Mostly.

I got this job, this...

This national
ad campaign, so...

We're celebrating.

That's great.

Philip wished
Ashley had not reminded him

of how great it felt
to be proud of her.

His own relationship
with success had forced him
to grow out of

feeling resentful towards
her accomplishments.

He was not prepared
to lose that constant
stream of enthusiasm.

You see?
You don't even need me.

God, you really
believe that, don't you?

I'm not sure how to
answer that without
making things worse.

I supported you when
nobody gave a shit about you.

I want you to know
I regret that now.

Good.

I don't wanna
talk to you anymore.

So you can just be
somebody else's

charity case.
Maybe Zimmerman
will take care of you.

He already has,
and he will gladly continue.

Get out of my house.

My house too.

No. It was never your house.
You just lived here.

You know, I'd like to hope
that in a few months' time,

we'll both have some
perspective on this

and be able to move
somewhere, like forward.

This feels irreparable.

You accusing me
of indifference?

You don't seem
to be struggling.

I am. Just not in the ways
that you notice.

You need a haircut.

I know.

I'm pretty sure
I'm missing a brush.

I'll bet one of those
models yoinked it.

You got any
plans tonight?

Just gonna stay in,
or are you going out?

We were together
for almost three years.

Do you want to come over?
We were just gonna
make dinner at home.

You should come.

No, thanks.
I don't want to be a burden.

Not being a burden.

I couldn't tell him anything
without him getting
depressed and jealous.

Now he's gone.

He owes me a lot of money.

You know, when he was
writing and had no income.

Thousands of dollars.

I don't mean to bring
you into it. I just...

I don't think dinner
tonight's a good idea.

No, it's not
a good idea at all.

I'm allergic to cats.
Can we just like, put them
down until you're ready?

No, 'cause then
they're likely to run away.

And then where are we?
Stuck with no cats.

Is everything okay?

What is this cat's name?

This little guy
is called Prescott.

That was my
grandfather's name.

For the first time
in years, Ashley found herself
feeling truly alone.

Despite being surrounded
by people most of every day,

she was unable to connect
to them in a way
she considered meaningful

and found herself passing
through their lives,
and her own,

in a state of total isolation.

What size are
these shirts?

I don't know.
Small or medium.
Try it on.

I'll give you
an ill-fitting discount.

They seem expensive.

Sold to the highest bidder.

This too.
Yeah, why not?

This? Throw this in.

It's not very good,
but you can use it as
a coaster or something.

No good. Naw.

Take the jacket too.
Two for one.

Look at that.

You would
date that man, right?

Yeah.

Congratulations.
Thank you.

You're late.

Yeah.
It's okay.

Yeah.

You lost? Goddamn it.

Well, at least there's one
pinball player in the family.

That's a triple take.
Yeah?

Is that with the spin?

Wait, let me try.

You missed mine.
Let me see it again.

We were both double-taking
at the same time.

Hey, that was three.
That was good.
That was pretty good.

What do you get if
you cut a bra in half?
What?

A yarmulke with a chin strap.

Can you guys
keep it down, please?
What?

Can you
please keep it down?

How dare you tell me
to keep it down?

I'm here with my better
half here. Go fuck yourself. You can't come into my place
where I'm with my friends,

drinking, playing pinball,
having a fun time,
celebrating.

You're not welcome.
Get out of here.

Get the fuck out of here.

I'm not kidding you.
Get the fuck out
of here right now.

I hate that man.

Hey, sweetheart.

What?

What are you staring at?

Nothing.

Nothing?
Thought I smelled gasoline.

That's me.

You look lost.
I'm not.

Wanna come hang out?

You want something
to drink?

Sure.

All right, sit down.

When she had first spoken
to the lowlife at the bar,

it was the first time
in four days Ashley heard
her own voice out loud.

She became devastatingly
aware of her own desperation,
loneliness and torment.

Quickly she could take
no more and went home.

Nobody here is in pain.

This is a no-kill shelter.

We have plenty of available
foster parents who are able

to take care of them
for as long as necessary
to find a home.

Do you have any cats?
What?

Cats! Cats!

This guy is really
friendly. Loving.

Do you have any
black and white ones?

Like, that resemble a panda?
Or a raccoon?

You really care
about the color.

Yeah, kind of.

He chooses you.

You want a snack?
Do you want a snack?

This is your new home.

What do you think?

There we go. Get familiar.

Okay, come on. Ready?

Ready to find your bed?

What do you think?

Hey!
Hey.

Hey, you're here.
I'm here.

How was your trip?
Ugh, I feel sick.

You feel sick?
Yeah. Oh, it's
a beautiful day.

Right?

Place looks good.

I'm excited you finally
get to see our renovations. Can't believe
that excites you.

God, you sound like
a brat who lives
in a dump in New York.

Don't be shitty.
My house is not a dump.

Wouldn't know.
I've never been.

Lots of fights
happened in this room.

Only with you.

We're going out.

Get yourself dressed up.

It's gonna be a big night.

Okay, could you
stop doing that?
It's really annoying.

I planned on going
away for a week.

You know this
is important to me.

I know, but it wasn't supposed
to start for 10 days. They changed it.
I don't know
what to tell you.

You're not being really
supportive right now.

You know this is an amazing
opportunity for me.

Tell me the good version
of this conversation.

"You got the job?

"Congratulations, Ashley.
I'm so happy for you. "Although I admit to being
a little disappointed,

"I understand that
these things happen.

"I'm so proud of you, baby."

That's basically what I said.

I would never say that.

I am proud of you.

Come here.

I wish you wanted to go out.

I am out. I don't live here.

Ooh, I adopted a cat.

I know. You send me pictures.

I send them
or I sent them once?

Oh, more than once.
I think I'm going to
name my cat Gadzookey.

You have a little
situation there.
With your...

Oh.

I love him.

You should love a human.

I just don't want him to be
one of those exes I have
to see every few years.

You know?

He's making it
really easy.

I hate that you
think this is easy.

That's nice.

Should I do anything?
No, no, no,
just look that way.

There you go. Smile.

Think of something funny.

Nice.

There you go.

It's me.

Work it. Work it.

Classic, but not a comedy.

And he got 'em all!

You want another one?
Not another banana joke.

Can I take one of you?

So you pull the thing back?
Oh, it looks nice, yeah.

Did it click?
Yeah. Smile a little.

I don't feel like smiling.

Focus up there.
You all right?
I'm getting addicted to this.

It's gonna be a bit fuzzy,
I have a feeling.

There you go.
Turn that thing.
Don't be shy.

They're art house.

That sun.

Philip had returned
for his winter clothes
the third week of July.

By early September,
Ashley had at last
begun to feel

as though her life
was her own again.

All signs of Philip had
been erased, save for
a few irrelevant boxes,

allowing her to go hours,
occasionally days,

without being preoccupied
by thoughts of him.

Once, when she failed to
keep him out of her mind,

Ashley decided to uncover
and finally read,

the short stories Philip
had written while in college,
and shortly thereafter,

before they had met.

She was sad to discover that
the stories were, as Philip
had always promised,

not of any remarkable quality.

Ashley felt her final
remaining vestiges
of admiration

for Philip slipping away,

although she respected
his progression from
these to his recent work.Ashley wondered
if Philip's first novel

would have excited her
as much as it once did

if she had read these stories
when they first met.

Following this episode,
Ashley put the stories
and Philip away

for as long as
she could manage.

By this point, the truth was

that she had no idea of what
he had been doing all summer,nor was it of any
pressing concern to her.

Ashley's dedication
to carrying on with
early autumn traditions,

ones formerly
enjoyed with Philip,

did much to distract her
from the shifting of seasons

and all the connected feelings
that could come along with it.

Her dedication to normalcy
allowed Ashley to stave off

a seasonally-augmented
sense of melancholy,

which prevented her
from regressing
back to the darkness

she had completely
left behind.

Yearning for intimate
interaction detached
from her work

and regular circle of friends,

and needing to spend
an evening away from
Gadzookey the cat, to whom she had discovered
she was mildly allergic,

Ashley made social plans
with her ex-boyfriend Peter.

They had dated for just
under two years prior
to her meeting Philip,

and seldom saw one another,

so the invitation came to him
as something of a surprise.

The ease with which
their conversation flowed

which she now felt being
slowly breathed back in.

You didn't talk
about him at all.

Got nothing to say.

How is he?

I did so well.
Can you not ask?

Please.

Thank you.

I feel him weighing on me
more in his absence,

than I did when
he was around.

Where is he?

He's just gone.

It's like he was a figment
of my imagination.

I'm fairly certain
I'm not welcome here.

Ding-ding-ding.

It's late. I've been
sitting here waiting
to make a scene for hours. What do you want?

I'm very lonely.

That's unfortunate.

I don't like teaching
creative writing as much
as I assumed I would.

Well, you're a cruel,
miserable person,
so it makes sense

you'd end up in
a miserable situation.

What happened to my desk?

That's my bonus desk.

Nobody at the school likes me.

Nobody here likes you.

I think I might resign
and come home.

You don't live here.

You live upstate.

No, I don't want that
to be my home.

It's lonely and sad
and the faculty have
turned on me.

Boo-hoo! The last
few weeks have been
so hard for you.

Whose cat is this?

It's my cat.

We don't have a cat.

Apparently I do.

Look, see, there it is.

Come here, big boy.

This is Gadzookey.

Gadzookey, meet Philip.

Don't get attached.
He was just leaving.

Do you ever make a decision
that at the time seems sound

but quickly reveals
itself to be empty?

Good-bye, Philip.
I don't like you.

He's kind of an asshole.

What a strange feeling.

I'm so off.
It's like my head is a car

but I can't drive fast because
there's too much traffic.

So instead I'm just
moving very, very slowly.

It's so hard, what I do.

I mean, it's not at all,
and that is the joke, right?

God, this is so boring.

Ashley's so bored right now.

Just go back
where you came from.

I'm getting angry at myself,
do you understand?

Because it doesn't even
upset me to see you like this.

I want you to leave
and leave me alone.

I don't know why you are here,
but I'm not interested,
so don't tell me.

God, do you remember there
was a time when we just,

when we wanted to go to sleep
together and wake up together,
every day, indefinitely.

Now I don't even given
a shit if I ever
see you again.

I want you to leave,
and just don't come back

and stop hurting me.

I got asked to write
a short story
about photography.

By who?

Oh, God, you'd be
so mad if I told you.

Isn't that
what you want?

I don't know what
you want me to say.

You used to be so exciting.

Now you're just pitiful.

I'm afraid you've
seen the last of me

for a long, long time.

Hey.
I know you.

Do you know
where he is?

I don't.

Do you, like,
live here now?

I still have the keys.

No, now I live
in a depressing
faculty apartment.

How is the college?

It's fine.

I assumed he'd be here.
Seems I was mistaken.

Yeah, that makes two of us.
Hey, you can stay
if you want to.

That won't be necessary.

For reasons unclear to him,

the exchange with Melanie
caused overwhelming
anxiety in Philip, who had driven through
the night to get here.

In the weeks he had
spent living with Ike,
when Melanie was not around,

she was never brought
up in conversation.

Philip would have
forgotten about her

had it not been for the
smattering of photographs that still remained
in the guest room
where he slept.

Sitting meekly on the couch,

Melanie embodied
the high cost of isolation

and detachment
from loved ones.

Unable to stand it any longer,

Philip excused himself
and returned to his
pitiful life at the college. Tell him I was here.

Your little protege
stopped by yesterday.

He's not a protege.
He's a friend.

I still haven't read his book.
I couldn't find it anywhere.

My copy is
in the city.

Should I read it?

Well, it is remarkable.

He suffers a little
from being too arrogant,

both in his writing
and as a person.

Oh. Match made in heaven.

I don't know if I can continue
to accommodate you here.

Why is that?

Because you're
a pain in the ass.

I have to go
to the city today.

What for?

See my agent.

Henry?
Henry? No.

Henry's not been
with me for 10 years.

Why not?

Because he's a cocksucker
and a little piece of shit.

Oh, fuck.

Jesus, God Almighty.
Fucking thing. Look at this.

Is this a meeting
about something new?

Hmm? Well, potentially.
It's complicated.

We're hoping for some money
from a sale of movie rights.

Is that woman
still your editor?

No. She's an asshole
with no loyalty as well.

What about...

Are you here only
to put me on the spot? None of this is worth
revisiting to me.

I've been betrayed by
a lot of small-minded
and worthless people.

Do I need them to
accomplish anything?

The answer is no.
They are altogether nothing.

Having once known me
will always be the most
interesting thing about them.

Those fucking vultures
have fed off me longer

than any sane man
would have allowed.

That sounds like
a horrible example

to set for
your little student.

So what? He's not my kid.

Ike's time with
Philip had been rejuvenating,

restoring a sense
of pride and vitality

that the man at one point
subsided solely upon.

The adoration
and attention was something
he'd not felt in years

and, during the summer months,
resulted in Ike
feeling stronger

and more productive
than he had been
in some time.

When Philip departed in
late-August for the college,

Ike was remiss to
find himself backsliding

into a familiar pattern
of boredom and tedium.

His friendship with Philip
eventually served as little
other than a reminder

of the absences in his life,

and of their increasing
presence and volume.

Seeing Philip during
the previous weekend

had left Ike in an even
lower state of self-pity,

as he found himself unable to
produce a worthwhile thought.

So consumed was he
with the solitude
and self-imposed exile

he had once coveted
and manufactured for
himself so meticulously

but now experienced
only as an infinitely
replenishing prism of regret.

The companionship of Melanie
was, at best, diverting

and, at worst,
a constant reminder of the
multitudes of relationships

Ike had gleefully sabotaged
over the years,

all in the name of preserving
and feeding his increasingly
insatiable ego.

When she asked, he would
refuse to be open or honest

about the past
several years of his life,

neglecting to satisfy
her curiosity about
what had become

of his many friends,
acquaintances and colleagues.

Nobody's seen her
since she was a teenager.

Well, she stopped
visiting right about then.

Which is just as well.
She's a pain in the ass.

How so?

She asks too
many questions.

She used to have
all those cute friends.

Have any of them been by?

I'm not here all the time.

I used to be a lion.

We all did.

I think we've
become pathetic.

Want to hear a funny idea?

Come on in. Come on.

Hey, come on.

Here, take your coat off.
Here you are.

Yeah. This is my place.
My humble home.

I know.

You want to take
your coat off?
Oh, thank you.

Yeah, I'll set it right here.

So, uh, drinks?
Sure, of course.

We have some wine,
red wine, white wine.

Red.

Prosecco.

That's fancy, Norm.

You know, I love movies.

So here's a line from a movie.
You have to guess.

She says to a younger man
who's trying to woo her,
to flirt with her...

And she says to him,
"You don't want me. You want
somebody young and fresh."

And she goes,
"Armies have marched over me."

All right, guess that one.
Right away.

Thank you.

Are we supposed
to guess who said that?

Well, maybe. Yeah.
What movie?

What was your name again?
Thank you. Flo.

Flow gently sweet afton.

It is spoken by Rita Hayworth.
Do you remember Rita Hayworth?

Of course.

They don't remember
Rita Hayworth.

In a movie called
Fire Down Below.

Hey, you know that?
There's snow on the roof,
but there's fire down below.

You're French, right?
Come here. It's more cozy.

Yeah, come on.
Is there anyone else
coming tonight?

Well, I'm younger than Norm.

Oh, I thought you said there
was a party happening.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I have a secret weapon.

Oh.
I'll go get it.

Just hold it right there.

Yeah, he's young.

He's not tall, but he's young.

Philip, Philip, get over here.

No, now, as quick as you can.

Get here now.

So there was
these two old men

sitting in deck chairs
on the beach,

and one of them turns
to the other and he says,
"It's nice out today,"

and the other one says,
"Sure, I'll get mine out
in a minute."

Hey, let's hope
it's a boy! Huh?

Philip.

Come on, stand up.
Oh, you are standing.

Come in, come in. Hey.

Hey.
Hey.

We will be social
with these women tonight.

Son, you're young. Come on.

Huh? What are you?

Old.
Yeah?

Wise. And also rich,
which helps.

Yeah, one day you'll
be old, wise and rich.
Now get in there.

Come on. Enjoy yourself!

Call me son, yeah?
Hi, I'm Philip.

My name is Philip.

I know who you are,
but it's a real pleasure.

Yes, an old friend of Ike's.
How do you know each other?

Well, I've never met
him personally, but, um...

You've heard of me.

I've read. I've read
who I think you are.
Wow.

Yeah, you know
who he is, correct?

No, should we
know who he is?

Yeah, he's one of the...
I don't know whether you
should...

I write.
He's what they call essential.

A writer.
Like the profession.

This guy is like,
they teach this guy.

Oh, really?
Yeah, I'm gonna
just go check

really quickly on
the lord of the manor.

Oh, well,
get yourself a drink.
You need a drink.

Well, I shouldn't, probably.

I've already taken, like,
all kinds of strange things

before coming over here,
so I don't know.

Good, you'll be able...
You look very put together.

You handle your things well.

I do handle
them well, but...

I'm speaking of allergy
medicine in this case

'cause upstate
really fucks with me.

All right,
have yourself...

All right, have yourself
a Merry little Christmas.
I'll be right back. Good to see you.
It's an honor.

Sit down. Sit down.
Thank you.

What are you doing in here?

They said they want
you to come back.

You fucked up.

Huh?
Get back in there.

I could have made that
transaction in two minutes
when I was your age. Twice a week.
Fucking get back in there.

Well, it's my understanding
that was a different time.

Women were,
you know, looser then.

So much more
impressed by authors.

Yeah, authors like me.
Get in.

You wrote that book?

Well, no. No, no, no. Listen.
Oh, my god.

Can we have an autograph?

You wanted to know
about Joseph Conrad.

And we're back.

Hey, hey, how about
you give us a little tune
on the piano, huh?

Come on, come on.

You want a little song?
A song from Philip?

Georgia On My Mind.

More upbeat. Upbeat.
Let's dance. Let's dance.

That's it.

Melanie! Hey, hey, hey!

That's my daughter, huh?

I hate you both.

I have nothing
to do with this.
Oh, didn't you?

Go fuck yourself.

You've ruined
this night for me.

Okay, okay, okay. No, no.

It's over, it's over.

Okay, you should go.

Go, go, go!

Thanks for coming.

Bye.

Ike. What just happened?

I told you what she's like.

I didn't think it was that...
Yeah.

I'd completely
forgotten she was here.

Oh, she can be
such a bitch sometimes.

To hell with her.

Norm?
Yes, sir.

Little drink for the road.

Here.
Oh, thank you.

Smell that? '25.

All right,
the good stuff.

Philip, I got something
special for you.

I don't talk to
her mother anymore.
Did I tell you that?

I guess
I just sort of assumed it.

She asked me about it the
other day. I didn't know
what to say to her.

Oh, God.

She can be such
a pain in the ass.

Anyway, here's to us.

Cheers. Philip.

Seems like it's just
you and me left now,
Norm, huh?

Oh, hey.

I forgot to tell you.

I saw this the other day. Hmm?

The guy you were supposed
to do the journalism piece on,

that snake?

It seems he took
his own life.

Jesus.
Who is it?
Who's that?

What's he called?

Josh Fawn, the writer.

I mean, I'm glad
he's dead and all, but...

Doing that interview
would have been

a really great
opportunity for me.

Last interviews
are hard to get, because
you never know.

I know this guy.
I like his work.

I had lunch
with him recently.
You did?

- I did.
- You had lunch with him?

Yes.
Lunch, and, whoo!

Oh, well.

You know, I'm looking forward
to reading your work.

Hey, hey, hey. Don't buy
a copy. I got plenty here.
You can have one of mine.

Anyway, listen...

I gotta go to bed, okay?
Old Ikey has got
to get some rest.

Why don't you
stay here tonight?

I've got a meeting
at the college tomorrow.

You can drive me there.

Is that good?
Yeah.

I didn't bring a toothbrush.
Good night, everybody.

Good night.

Night.
Good night to you.

Norm. Was a pleasure.
Take care.

And...
Be well.

I can, I will be.
Oh, well, don't look at that.

Jesus Christ.

You dick.

Good one?
Good enough.

Even looking at the girls
here brings on a cascade
of conflicting emotions.

They're always gonna
want more than
you're prepared to offer.

You remember that.
You'll learn it
yourself one day,

if you
haven't already.

What are you
thinking about?

Are you thinking about
what I just told you? This place looks unforgiving.

Suffers in comparison
to the guest room.

Well, the offer's
still on the table.

Don't sit on the car.

Listen, this isn't
the city.

They're a different
breed of snob up here.

It's academia.

Academia nuts.

I fail to understand
the distinction.

Yeah, I do, too,
sometimes.

It's been really awful.

I consider you
my good friend.

I appreciate that.

But you'll soon find
how little that counts for.

I'm not referring to myself.

But there's a lot
of assholes out there.

Less up here than in the city,

but it's all relative.

You say it yourself.
You don't see anybody.
You have no friendships.

And you have ruined
every relationship

in which you ever could
have found meaning.
Who?

Huh? Associates?
Sycophants?

Who the fuck needs pissants
like that? Good riddance.

Me, Mom.

You don't know
what the fuck you're
talking about, as usual.

Why do you assume that
she never talked to me?

Oh, I'm sure she was only
too eager to fill your head

with some inane,
fictitious bullshit.

But one thing
I know for a fact,

you only got one
version of events

told from the perspective

of a very sad, very lonely,
pathetic woman.

You insult again.

This is my mother
you're talking about.

And? Go on.
You talk about her

like she's some leech
that sucked you dry.

Yeah, well,
she would have done,
given half the chance.

Her and everyone else.

You know, she is my
biggest regret, hmm?

The strongest and saddest
proof that you cannot
change anyone,

and that your first
instinct about them
will always be right.

Yeah, well, that just
proves that you yourself
can't be changed, either.

Yeah, well,
much to my chagrin,
I prove my own point.

I always try to lead
by example...

To show everyone
how I can put
aside preconceptions

and find new feelings,
new ideas.

But the innate ineffability
of human disappointment

overcomes
my faith every time.

So when you belittle me...
Belittle you?

I didn't even fucking
say anything to you.

Yes! Belittle me!
What are you talking about?

For my self-made
disconnect from those
who wanted nothing from me

but to further their
own petty feelings
of self-delusion.

Then you reinforce
the degree to which
I saved myself

from future disappointment
by cutting myself off
to the extent that I did!

Do you hear yourself?

The emotions
which arose from his
spectacular confrontation

with his daughter enraged
and excited Ike in such a way
as he no longer felt possible.

Philip's unbridled respect
and reverence for his idol,

compounded with his youthful
sense of rage and entitlement,

had forced unwanted
introspection upon Ike.

And what he saw
was a shamefully
complacent old man,

who had long since
given up the forcefulness

that had once motivated him to
create some of his best work.

The autumn months had
brought about an overwhelming
sense of shame in Ike,

as he tried and failed
to put out of his mind

the vigor and dissatisfaction
that once drove
him to succeed, replaced with frustration,
self-pity and disappointment.

And of course,
the frustrating thing is

to want to focus your
energies on something that,

well, at this point
in my life, should be
something of an opus.

A culmination.
Right

Could we swap seats?

I don't feel
right sitting here.

I'd rather not sit
in a pupil's chair
in my own office.

We can both sit over there,
or we can both stand.

I've had years of this shit.

How long did yours take?

Something like
two years apiece.

Oh, God, I used to be
faster than that. Two years would be
humiliating for me...

Well, for anyone.

I didn't mean it like that,
but you get the idea.

This could be
so big for me.

Instead,
I'm suffering here.

More than you could know
or I could possibly explain.

I just don't see
anything clearly.

I'm trying to do
my best here.

Oh, fuck it.

I should have this
figured out by now.

Well, thank you for listening
to the sentimental,

and frustrated,
ramblings of an old man.

You've done
a lot for me.
I didn't do much.

No. But your work did.

That's true.

Bonjour, Yvette. Ca va?

She's Yvette?
Yeah.

Yvette Dussart was entering
her third year on the faculty

when she was informed
that a young, newly successful
author from the city

would be joining
the English department,

which she took as a personal
attack on her territory,

as it relieved her
of the title of youngest
faculty member,

a distinction from which
she derived no small
amount of satisfaction.

Philip and Yvette
were only about three
years apart in age.

Prior to his
arrival and introduction...

Yvette had decided to act
unkind towards him,

and was able to convince
several other faculty members

that, in fact, a novelist with
no teaching experience

did not belong
among their ranks,

and humiliating
orientation process.

The result of her scheming
was immediate and total
isolation for Philip,

who routinely found himself
with nothing more to do

than retreat to his small,
sad apartment every night,

where he made a concerted
effort to devote himself fully

to his writing, and to doing
as good a job teaching
as possible.

I wonder what type of style
we should be working on
for these exercises.

I'm not sure I can
answer that question.

In fact,
I'm certain I cannot.

I don't have a very
academic relationship
with form or style.

So...

What is your advice?

The best thing I can offer is
what I do, which is

to kinda goof around
until you find what works.

Besides, in my experience,
more than half of you

will probably abandon writing,
creative or the other kind,

very shortly after graduating.
If you haven't already.

I'm thinking of a few of you
specifically when I say
that last part.

Hey, hey.

Are you at all qualified
to be teachin'?

I never use the word "teach."
I always say "instruct."

Nice try.

You've made it a point
to turn others against me,
and I don't understand why.

I've not.

You have.

And as a result,
I'm sad and alone...

And I don't like it here.

Hello.

Hi.

I read Obidant.
I really liked it.

I didn't realize it
had come out already.
About two weeks ago.

Huh.

Listen, it's nothing
personal, but...

I'm really trying to do
my best up here,

and part of that means
not getting involved
with anybody in,

say, a human way.

So if you'd like, you could
come visit me at my office.

This is not my office.

Please don't act like
somebody who doesn't know
how to handle themselves.

I don't know what you mean.

Act as though you attend
these things all the time. How?

Feel like you don't
want to be here.
Like me. See how little
I wanna be here?

But I very much
want to be here.

Oh, Jonathan.

Are you proud of me?

In what way?

Never mind.

You seem to have
a decent situation here.

This place is just fine.

Yeah.

You do not need to look away
every time you see me.

This is your father that
I saw you with earlier?

He's my uncle.
Mon oncle.
Like the film.

You look sad with him.

I don't think
you're saying what
you think you are.

I meant to say...

When with him,
it makes you look as though
you are not happy.

Oh. I guess that's pretty much
what you said the first time.

Why this is?

Your own family
makes you unhappy?

I feel uncomfortable
talking to you like this.

Why?
Because we don't
like each other.

Or you don't like me.

It's not like that. I mean...

Okay, it's true that
I am upset that

I study for years to obtain
a teaching degree, and you...

You just publish two slim
novels and get a job

many would murder for.

I, however,
think it is possible

we could be
friendly together.

You encouraged
the faculty to turn on me.
Nobody likes me here.

Nobody ever talks to me.

We like it here.
We have family
and community.

And you've just come here
with your new novel

and turned them
against yourself

with your arrogance and ego.

You are to blame nobody
but yourself for these things.

I don't know how
to process that.

I'm not sure how quickly
I can absolve you
of wrongdoing and shoulder
the blame myself.

I'd like to go
elsewhere and talk.

Speak with you more.

Just not standing
here, outside.

Okay. Just not
back in there.

Hello.

I've thought it best
for my students

ot to ever see me
out of class.

So what do
you do at night?

I stay home.
I read and I think.

It will make my life
harder if people
see me differently.

Does that make sense?

But you want only
to be thought of
as a talented writer and not as a real person?

Hmm, yeah.

Yeah. That's probably
about right.

In fact,
that's exactly right.

Thank you.

All right.

Be a good boy.
Give me a call, okay?

Yeah.

I never had a weekend
on campus where
I went to school.

I can't really
quite adjust.

Last night your uncle
and then me...

It's your first real
conversation since
you arrived here?

Conversation that take
place on or around campus
and was substantial?

Yes.

Wow. You must
be really lonely.

Can't see your
eyes in that hat.

That's better.
Where are you going?

Are your
office hours over?

For the time being.
Also they're for people
in classes I teach. That's not you, is it?
No, but I was hoping...

No, it's urgent.

So today we'll be
learning about
the Romantic period,

and the impact of
the French Revolution,

such as
Jean-Jacques Rousseau and...

William Godwin and...

Did anyone read it?

We'll be also
talking about the...

Romantic themes.

Sorry, the cult of
sensibility, emphasizing...

Sorry, what were
we talking about?

Well, this is the most amount
of visitors I've ever seen
during a single session.

And on a Friday,
no less. What a world.

One second.

Come right in.

When I was in school,
I never went to
these things, so... I tend to forget about them.
That's okay.

I was hoping we could
discuss my story.

Right. Which I read.

I think the perspective
was very clear.

And, also,
I should say that...

What was the title
of it again?

I'll be honest.
That's not the main
reason I'm here.

Thank God, because honestly,
I don't even think
I've read yours yet.

Or any of them,
for that matter,
so don't be offended.

I was hoping you
could provide me with

a letter of recommendation
for an internship I'm pursuing
at Paragon Press.

Okay.
Is that not possible?

Look, I'll say this,
and then we can
proceed accordingly.

Number one, internships
are a waste of time,
so you shouldn't bother.

Two, that company sucks,

and you wouldn't
gain any worthwhile
experience there.

And three, I don't
actually think that
I know you very well...

Or at all, now
that I think about it.

So I wouldn't be
the best person to
sing your praises.

Where does that leave us
on the whole letter of
recommendation tip?

I think they can be
somewhat generic.

It's kind of
a formality anyway.

Nah.

Does your publisher have
an internship program?

To be honest with you,
I have no idea.

I'm not thinking
about this right now.

Here's a piece of paper
with some staples in it.

Wish I could be
of more help.

The semester drew to a close,

and an impending sense
of melancholy and longing
developed within Philip, as the promise
of facing Ashley again

became less of
an abstraction and more
of a looming certainty.

Anticipating this,
and unable to process
his feelings verbally,

Philip wrote and mailed her
a letter, which read,

"I find myself alone
again and again,

"and I've abandoned hope
that this is something
that can or will change.

"I would extend my apologies
for neglecting to phone,

"were I not certain that
they would be rejected.

"I offer the honest yet
invented-sounding explanation

"that hearing your voice
or anything about
your current life

"would compound
my already overwhelming
sense of isolation and regret

"in a way I would
consider crippling.

"My return date is set
for December the 15th.

"I look forward to seeing
what type of person
I feel like by then."

The letter was signed
simply, "P."

She threw it away without
ever opening the envelope.

Just under four weeks had
passed since Philip had last
attempted to contact Ashley,

and his letters had
started being returned.

The period following
his collection of
midterm assignments

and leading up
to Thanksgiving,
found Philip at long last

adjusting to his temporary
life at the college.

No longer fighting against
his situation and finally
at peace with it,

he had noticed himself
making friends where there
before had been none,

and experiencing
feelings and emotions

for whom the faculty
began to care,

to say nothing of
the added benefit of
winning Yvette's affections, a goal of his since
he first convinced himself

of the extent to which
she disliked him.

I don't know what you
want me to tell you.

You know what
I want you to tell me.

Oh, the situation is
becoming really irritating.

I have a life somewhere.
Or had one.

I'm not sure which.
It's probably not
even there anymore.

Then forget it.
And come back home with me
for the holiday break.

I have nothing to do
when I get back.
Also I have nowhere to live.

I don't work
here permanently.
Only you do.

I'm sure you can get
one more semester of work.

Hang on while I put
my head in this sweater.

Keep going.

It is possible.

A lot that would
need to change
for that to happen.

Are we still going
to Ike's for Thanksgiving?
What are we bringing?

Really?

Yeah.

You know what?
Why don't you stay at your
own apartment tonight?

My apartment is sad
and has improper heating,

which you know
because we're standing
in it right now.

So you don't want to be
trapped by academia.

There are some people
over there who I wish I could
still call my colleagues.

They didn't want this
life for themselves.

I told this to
our boy here.

You know, you have
to be very careful.

Don't believe too strongly
the structures they
put in front of you.

This is good advice.

For you more
so than him, though.

Excuse me.

You seem ill equipped to deal
with someone like that.

We began by hating
one another.

I think we're coming
back down the other side now.

That's a very potent image.

You should write it down
and use it.

I came up with it on
the silent, excruciating
drive over here. I'm glad you approve.
Oh, I do, indeed.

I should go check on her.

Excuse me.

I think you're
being rude to Ike.

I'm glad his feelings
are so important.

I think I need to leave.

You said you
wanted to meet him.

Besides we just got here.

Why don't you leave me alone?

My uncle, who you
saw in passing,

raised me

because both of my parents
were killed in a car accident.

Why are you telling me this?

Because I want you to
contextualize my sadness.

Put whatever you're going
through into perspective.

My mom was pregnant
at the time.

Seven months.

I was on the news.

I'm telling you this
to hurt you right now,

because you're trying
to make me feel bad,

horrible even,
which I don't appreciate.

But I never will...

Because nothing ever feels
bad once you learn what
that emotion is capable of.

Now let's not make
a big deal about it.

I usually don't...

But you really forced
my hand on this.

Do you know
that expression?

"Forced my hand"?

It's one of my favorites.

She seems difficult.
She is. Very.

Well, you're putting her
in an ugly situation.

What with you trying
to have two girlfriends.

That's a tawdry way
to phrase it.

You have one living
in a house that you share
with her in the city and another one up here
that you're living with.

Yeah, I can see the appeal.

I practically invented it.

But I did it
better than you.

Nobody hated me then.

I could enjoy it. Until later,
of course, when it all
came crashing down.

But by then, I had
my escape all planned.

You haven't put enough
thought into something
as delicate as this.

Ever since I was a teenager,

I wanted to fall in love
with a French girl.

I'm proud of you, boy.

You'll find yourself

referring to this
experience often

when you opt to pull your
head out of your own ass

and get back to work.

Can you offer any
suggestions about what
I should do until then? Well, I could.

But this really
belongs to you.

You'll find a solution.

I gave you the '25,
by the way.

Oh, thank you.

The way I see it,
you have two
possible scenarios.

Either you abscond to France

with a girl you just met
three months ago,

thus becoming a cliche,

leaving the city in disgrace

and your former
life in shambles,

or you'll return to your kind,
successful, tolerant,

and probably very attractive
girlfriend in the city.

Immerse yourself in work,

and become miserable
for eternity.

Two fine options,
as far as you're concerned.

You're lucky to have them
already, at your age.

You're a good friend, Ike.

It's an honor to say
that I know you.

Don't make yourself any more
miserable than you need to be.

Leave that to the
women you love.

That's what they're
pretty much there for.

In my experience.

I believe that I'll need
to return home to
the city at some point.

It's highly likely
that I'll realize
I made a huge error,

at which point
I might try to return
to this place

to see if you'd ever
still care about me.

I'm fairly certain that
what I just said is exactly
what's gonna happen.

I can't believe
you still think that's
your decision to make.

Just trying stuff out
to see what the
right thing to do is.

Thank you.

Philip left the college
much as he arrived,

alone and devoid of
meaningful connections
with anybody else.

His time spent there would
come to be regarded

as adequate
by the administration,

who subsequently
invited him back,

an offer which he would
repeatedly decline,

until he heard several years
later that Yvette had gotten

a tenure job at another
school further north.

He eventually returned to
teach several more semesters

at increasingly-irregular
intervals as the publication
of his work allowed.

My key is broken.

You don't live here anymore.
He returned home to the city

and was refused
decency by Ashley,

who had made the
decision that Philip
would not be allowed

to reenter either
her home or her life,

having come to the realization
that she would no longer
invest in somebody

who would routinely
cause her to feel terrible.

Without so much as noticing,

while Ashley explained all
the reasons he was no longer
welcome to Philip,

he found himself thinking
back on a quotation,

which he had hoped
to one day use as
the opening of a novel,

or perhaps just a chapter.

"Nothing lasts forever,"
he thought, "and we both
know hearts can change."

You're wrong.
I know what you need.
Open the door.

Let me show you.
Let me show you
that you're wrong.

It's okay.

I'm not angry
with you anymore.

Philip's thoughts
then turned to Ike,

alone in his isolated
home in the woods,

a lifetime of enemies
and scorched earth

forcing him into
a quasi-involuntarily
self-imposed exile.

He recalled the lessons
learned from Ike's
novels about character,

sense of place and dialogue,

before realizing that
his hero and new friend
had imparted Philip

with more than either
of them had realized,
for better or worse.

Staring down
at the small creature,

Ashley's emotions were at last
completely hers to control.

Gadzookey had a home, food,
and one very good friend,

who cared more about him
than anything or anyone else.

He needed nothing more
to be content.

Rejected by both
Ashley and Yvette,
Philip walked off on his own,

with only the faintest
notion of where to move
forward from this,

the low point
of his adult life.

And while he would
remain close with Ike,

a friendship that
proved essential to
the eventual completion

and publication of
several more novels,

and later achieve an enviable
level of wealth and success,

from this day forward,

emotional honesty,
and deeply wary of those

who attempted
to get close to him,

a pattern of behavior
that ultimately left him

an isolated
and emotionless specter,

forever remaining a mystery,
even to himself.