Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,899 --> 00:00:02,332
[hip-hop music]
2
00:00:02,366 --> 00:00:04,200
I love taking the kids to the mall.
3
00:00:04,235 --> 00:00:05,735
There's something for everyone.
4
00:00:05,769 --> 00:00:07,537
Mama likes to get her samples on.
5
00:00:07,571 --> 00:00:08,705
Just taking some for a friend.
6
00:00:08,739 --> 00:00:10,039
Thank you.
7
00:00:10,074 --> 00:00:14,577
Lily likes getting sucked in
by the kiosk carneys.
8
00:00:14,612 --> 00:00:15,578
And there's one little guy
9
00:00:15,613 --> 00:00:17,881
who just loves going on
the kiddie rides.
10
00:00:17,915 --> 00:00:20,450
Sadly, it's not this little guy.
11
00:00:20,484 --> 00:00:22,218
It's that one.
12
00:00:22,253 --> 00:00:23,953
Lately, every time we come to the mall,
13
00:00:23,988 --> 00:00:26,923
Louie insists on riding the kiddie rides
with the four-year-olds.
14
00:00:26,957 --> 00:00:27,924
But you know what?
15
00:00:27,958 --> 00:00:30,994
I'd never be embarrassed
by my own child.
16
00:00:31,028 --> 00:00:34,230
Your kid still likes the baby rides, huh?
17
00:00:35,599 --> 00:00:38,234
That's not my kid. Nope.
18
00:00:38,269 --> 00:00:42,405
Yep, another great day at the mall
with my two kids.
19
00:00:42,439 --> 00:00:45,408
[hip-hop music]
20
00:00:45,442 --> 00:00:48,112
♪
21
00:00:48,113 --> 00:00:51,113
- ♪
- _
22
00:00:54,051 --> 00:00:56,419
Babe, do you think Louie's immature?
23
00:00:56,453 --> 00:00:58,621
'Cause I'm thinking maybe
we coddle him too much.
24
00:00:58,656 --> 00:01:00,523
What? We do not coddle him.
25
00:01:00,558 --> 00:01:02,292
I don't know, I mean,
we help him dress in the morning,
26
00:01:02,326 --> 00:01:04,127
he still gets special kid's food,
27
00:01:04,161 --> 00:01:05,662
and he still needs a
Cheerio in the toilet bowl
28
00:01:05,696 --> 00:01:07,263
to know where to aim.
29
00:01:07,298 --> 00:01:08,631
Okay, remember what happened
when we took the Cheerio away?
30
00:01:08,666 --> 00:01:09,699
Soaked the hand towels.
31
00:01:09,733 --> 00:01:11,935
He somehow peed behind himself.
32
00:01:11,969 --> 00:01:12,936
All the more reason
33
00:01:12,970 --> 00:01:15,104
that he needs to grow up
and do stuff for himself.
34
00:01:15,139 --> 00:01:16,873
What nonsense are you talking?
35
00:01:16,907 --> 00:01:19,609
Louie is such a sweet, innocent boy.
36
00:01:19,643 --> 00:01:20,810
Why do you want to rush him
37
00:01:20,844 --> 00:01:23,279
to grow into a disgusting pervert man
38
00:01:23,314 --> 00:01:25,315
with hair and sounds?
39
00:01:25,349 --> 00:01:26,783
I mean, so he can pee without cereal.
40
00:01:26,817 --> 00:01:28,117
Is that so much to ask?
41
00:01:28,152 --> 00:01:29,652
You know, actually, Mommy's right.
42
00:01:29,687 --> 00:01:30,987
Let Louie be young.
43
00:01:31,021 --> 00:01:33,222
Childhood goes by so fast.
44
00:01:33,257 --> 00:01:34,290
Mine was such fun,
45
00:01:34,325 --> 00:01:36,459
until I saw that woman get hit
by the rickshaw scooter.
46
00:01:36,493 --> 00:01:37,460
Oh, God, that's terr...
47
00:01:37,494 --> 00:01:38,828
Not finished.
48
00:01:38,862 --> 00:01:39,896
She ricocheted onto the railway track.
49
00:01:39,930 --> 00:01:41,130
They tried to pull her out,
50
00:01:41,165 --> 00:01:42,665
but the train was coming too fast.
51
00:01:42,700 --> 00:01:44,734
Bing, bang, boom, childhood over.
52
00:01:44,768 --> 00:01:46,369
Ooh, come to papa.
53
00:01:46,403 --> 00:01:49,038
I hate it when my family
doesn't just agree with me.
54
00:01:49,073 --> 00:01:50,974
But maybe I was stressing over nothing.
55
00:01:51,008 --> 00:01:53,743
Also, someday, my dad needs therapy.
56
00:01:53,777 --> 00:01:55,311
Gin.
57
00:01:55,346 --> 00:01:56,312
Hey.
58
00:01:56,347 --> 00:01:57,580
When you were kids,
59
00:01:57,614 --> 00:01:59,048
when did your mom stop coddling you?
60
00:01:59,083 --> 00:02:00,850
Oh, well, my mum
used to let me sleep in her bed
61
00:02:00,884 --> 00:02:02,151
until I was a teenager.
62
00:02:02,186 --> 00:02:04,387
Even now, whenever I go home for a visit,
63
00:02:04,421 --> 00:02:05,822
we have a little cuddle.
64
00:02:05,856 --> 00:02:06,990
Sorry, did you say "cuddle" or "coddle"?
65
00:02:07,024 --> 00:02:08,324
It just became irrelevant.
66
00:02:08,359 --> 00:02:10,560
Well, my mom did not coddle me, mm-mm.
67
00:02:10,594 --> 00:02:12,061
No, she's actually pretty strict.
68
00:02:12,096 --> 00:02:13,496
Yeah, she loads up my debit card
69
00:02:13,530 --> 00:02:14,731
and if I spend all that,
70
00:02:14,765 --> 00:02:16,432
ooh, it is too bad until next week.
71
00:02:16,467 --> 00:02:17,433
[mimes whipping]
72
00:02:17,468 --> 00:02:18,601
That's not strict.
73
00:02:18,635 --> 00:02:20,503
Mm-mm, that boy ain't right.
74
00:02:20,537 --> 00:02:22,171
Bye, Mom, bye, Mama.
75
00:02:22,206 --> 00:02:24,173
I love each of you the most.
76
00:02:24,208 --> 00:02:25,608
- Aw.
- Bye, catch you two later.
77
00:02:25,642 --> 00:02:26,876
I love you more, I do.
78
00:02:26,910 --> 00:02:28,711
Mwah, mwah, mwah.
79
00:02:28,746 --> 00:02:30,947
Okay, I don't even need to ask you, Norman.
80
00:02:30,981 --> 00:02:32,382
You talk to your moms way too often.
81
00:02:32,416 --> 00:02:33,516
For your information,
82
00:02:33,550 --> 00:02:35,018
I talk to them once a day.
83
00:02:35,052 --> 00:02:36,853
But sometimes for ten hours.
84
00:02:36,887 --> 00:02:39,088
So your iPad is essentially
a baby monitor?
85
00:02:39,123 --> 00:02:42,125
Are these highly personal questions
leading to a point?
86
00:02:42,159 --> 00:02:44,193
Yes, if I don't stop coddling Louie,
87
00:02:44,228 --> 00:02:46,529
he's going to turn into
some sort of adult baby man
88
00:02:46,563 --> 00:02:47,964
like you guys.
89
00:02:47,998 --> 00:02:49,632
I haven't worn a diaper since Coachella.
90
00:02:49,666 --> 00:02:51,200
Yeah, I'm not a baby.
91
00:02:51,235 --> 00:02:52,869
You're a baby.
92
00:02:52,903 --> 00:02:54,937
[as dinosaur] I am green.
93
00:02:54,972 --> 00:02:56,773
[peppy music]
94
00:02:56,807 --> 00:02:59,609
[dinosaur roaring]
95
00:02:59,643 --> 00:03:01,044
Oh, God.
96
00:03:01,078 --> 00:03:03,046
I couldn't let Louie turn into them.
97
00:03:03,080 --> 00:03:05,481
I knew what I needed to do.
98
00:03:05,516 --> 00:03:08,317
David and I embarked on
Operation Grow Louie the Eff Up
99
00:03:08,352 --> 00:03:10,053
So He Doesn't Become an Eff Up.
100
00:03:10,087 --> 00:03:11,087
Our plan was simple:
101
00:03:11,121 --> 00:03:13,456
Bribe Louie with cash
to get him to do what we want.
102
00:03:13,490 --> 00:03:14,824
I like baths!
103
00:03:14,858 --> 00:03:16,325
It's like swimming without all the sun!
104
00:03:16,360 --> 00:03:18,728
Time to graduate to a big boy shower.
105
00:03:18,762 --> 00:03:20,730
Text me if you need help!
106
00:03:20,764 --> 00:03:21,964
Agh!
107
00:03:21,999 --> 00:03:24,067
♪
108
00:03:24,101 --> 00:03:26,269
Mission accomplished.
109
00:03:26,303 --> 00:03:27,303
Hey.
110
00:03:27,337 --> 00:03:28,571
Nice work, buddy.
111
00:03:28,605 --> 00:03:30,073
Good boy. Boom.
112
00:03:30,107 --> 00:03:31,741
I didn't get paid to grow up.
113
00:03:31,775 --> 00:03:33,109
The gender pay gap starts young.
114
00:03:33,143 --> 00:03:34,911
Welcome to my world, sunshine.
115
00:03:34,945 --> 00:03:36,946
That's ugly. Wow, he missed a spot.
116
00:03:36,980 --> 00:03:38,681
Yeah, no, I'll get it.
117
00:03:38,715 --> 00:03:41,451
Our next task was making Louie
dress himself for school.
118
00:03:41,485 --> 00:03:42,485
Oh, no.
119
00:03:42,519 --> 00:03:43,820
Lou, wow.
120
00:03:43,854 --> 00:03:45,154
Oh, honey, he looks just like Lily Tomlin.
121
00:03:45,189 --> 00:03:46,255
Please let me make some adjustments.
122
00:03:46,290 --> 00:03:47,590
Nope, nope, no, no, no, no.
123
00:03:47,624 --> 00:03:49,125
♪
124
00:03:49,159 --> 00:03:51,427
BRB, gotta hit the boys' room.
125
00:03:51,462 --> 00:03:54,097
Please don't pee on the seat.
126
00:03:54,131 --> 00:03:55,832
I think I should give him one last Cheerio.
127
00:03:55,866 --> 00:03:57,800
Think of the hand towels.
128
00:03:59,470 --> 00:04:01,104
It did not go well.
129
00:04:01,138 --> 00:04:03,773
No one said it would be easy.
130
00:04:03,807 --> 00:04:05,341
Keep 'em coming.
131
00:04:05,375 --> 00:04:06,943
♪
132
00:04:06,977 --> 00:04:08,277
Oh, mother!
133
00:04:08,312 --> 00:04:11,981
I just sat in quite a bit of urine.
134
00:04:12,015 --> 00:04:13,683
Okay, honey, I believe in you.
135
00:04:13,717 --> 00:04:15,785
No training wheels.
136
00:04:15,819 --> 00:04:16,886
Come on, you got this.
137
00:04:16,920 --> 00:04:18,154
You got it.
138
00:04:18,188 --> 00:04:19,355
- Yes. Yep.
- Oh yeah.
139
00:04:19,389 --> 00:04:20,556
- Yep!
- Oh, we're doing it!
140
00:04:20,591 --> 00:04:21,691
Yeah! Yes!
141
00:04:21,725 --> 00:04:22,792
- He's doing it!
- Yes, yes!
142
00:04:22,826 --> 00:04:23,793
- He's doing it!
- Yeah!
143
00:04:23,827 --> 00:04:24,794
Whoa!
144
00:04:24,828 --> 00:04:25,795
Oh, no.
145
00:04:25,829 --> 00:04:26,796
Well, almost did it.
146
00:04:26,830 --> 00:04:28,531
- Oh.
- Almost.
147
00:04:30,000 --> 00:04:31,033
Little did I know,
148
00:04:31,068 --> 00:04:32,802
Operation Grow the Eff Up
149
00:04:32,836 --> 00:04:35,304
would inspire these eff ups
to do the same thing.
150
00:04:35,339 --> 00:04:36,839
Do you guys think Emet's right?
151
00:04:36,874 --> 00:04:39,142
- Are we adult babies?
- I hope not.
152
00:04:39,176 --> 00:04:41,644
There's nothing sexy
about being an adult baby,
153
00:04:41,678 --> 00:04:43,746
apart from some rather unsavory porn sites.
154
00:04:43,780 --> 00:04:45,181
Mm-hmm.
155
00:04:45,215 --> 00:04:47,083
Maybe our dependence on our moms
156
00:04:47,117 --> 00:04:48,885
is why we can't sustain mature
relationships with women.
157
00:04:48,919 --> 00:04:51,821
Dude, if my mom is the reason
I'm not getting laid, then who needs her?
158
00:04:51,855 --> 00:04:52,989
So what do we do?
159
00:04:53,023 --> 00:04:55,725
Mom cleanse.
160
00:04:55,759 --> 00:04:58,327
No moms for a week.
161
00:04:58,362 --> 00:04:59,562
Hmm.
162
00:04:59,596 --> 00:05:00,930
Yeah, I can do that.
163
00:05:00,964 --> 00:05:02,498
I can quit anything for a week.
164
00:05:02,533 --> 00:05:03,900
Except for my meds.
165
00:05:03,934 --> 00:05:06,002
Yeah, I have to taper those slowly.
166
00:05:06,036 --> 00:05:07,603
Otherwise I'll just end up
167
00:05:07,638 --> 00:05:10,006
accidentally driving my car
into another Denny's.
168
00:05:10,040 --> 00:05:11,841
I love Denny's.
169
00:05:12,383 --> 00:05:15,344
Finally, two weeks and $47 later...
170
00:05:15,379 --> 00:05:16,345
Yes!
171
00:05:16,380 --> 00:05:17,180
Success!
172
00:05:17,214 --> 00:05:18,548
- Yes!
- Aw!
173
00:05:18,582 --> 00:05:19,582
That is my child!
174
00:05:19,616 --> 00:05:22,051
Grown up chicken for one.
175
00:05:22,085 --> 00:05:23,953
Ah, smells divine.
176
00:05:23,987 --> 00:05:26,689
Why did I ever need you in nugget form?
177
00:05:26,723 --> 00:05:30,259
♪
178
00:05:30,294 --> 00:05:31,861
- Bullseye!
- [all cheering]
179
00:05:31,895 --> 00:05:34,430
And just like that, no more pee Cheerios.
180
00:05:34,464 --> 00:05:35,264
Okay, Louie.
181
00:05:35,299 --> 00:05:36,866
One of the perks of being a grown up
182
00:05:36,900 --> 00:05:39,035
is you get to spend your money
on anything you want, okay?
183
00:05:39,069 --> 00:05:40,036
Just not guns.
184
00:05:40,070 --> 00:05:41,204
Okay, sweetie?
185
00:05:41,238 --> 00:05:43,306
Don't buy anything that could
put me in the news, okay?
186
00:05:43,340 --> 00:05:45,408
- Thanks.
- Go get 'em.
187
00:05:45,442 --> 00:05:48,144
♪
188
00:05:48,178 --> 00:05:49,011
Aw.
189
00:05:49,046 --> 00:05:51,214
Our little boy's buying a baseball cap!
190
00:05:51,248 --> 00:05:52,215
Well, I know you love that.
191
00:05:52,249 --> 00:05:54,383
Hey, why is he getting
all those quarters?
192
00:05:54,418 --> 00:05:56,285
- Wait.
- What's happening?
193
00:05:56,320 --> 00:05:57,086
What?
194
00:05:57,120 --> 00:05:58,221
There he goes.
195
00:05:58,255 --> 00:05:59,422
Are you kidding me?
196
00:05:59,456 --> 00:06:00,823
I thought we were making progress.
197
00:06:00,857 --> 00:06:02,225
Is he ever gonna grow up?
198
00:06:02,259 --> 00:06:05,561
Oh. I think he has.
199
00:06:06,930 --> 00:06:09,298
♪
200
00:06:09,333 --> 00:06:10,666
[gasps]
201
00:06:10,701 --> 00:06:14,470
Oh, no. No, I don't like this at all.
202
00:06:14,504 --> 00:06:15,137
Oh, my God.
203
00:06:15,172 --> 00:06:18,407
How did I never notice
what Louie was looking at?
204
00:06:18,442 --> 00:06:19,642
It's not the kiddie ride he likes.
205
00:06:19,676 --> 00:06:20,810
It's the big boy view.
206
00:06:20,844 --> 00:06:22,578
He is riding that Mr. Caterpillar
207
00:06:22,613 --> 00:06:25,615
right into puberty.
208
00:06:25,649 --> 00:06:27,450
I want my dollars back.
209
00:06:30,146 --> 00:06:32,012
I thought Louie had to grow up.
210
00:06:32,047 --> 00:06:33,847
But apparently that's happening..
211
00:06:33,882 --> 00:06:36,183
So now we better hurry and catch up.
212
00:06:36,397 --> 00:06:37,864
That little guy is ready for boobies?
213
00:06:37,918 --> 00:06:39,219
How could I miss this?
214
00:06:39,253 --> 00:06:40,954
Okay, he did wear a cape to school.
215
00:06:40,988 --> 00:06:42,155
It would throw anyone off.
216
00:06:42,189 --> 00:06:42,956
Yes!
217
00:06:42,990 --> 00:06:44,190
He's such a baby.
218
00:06:44,225 --> 00:06:45,725
But he's also horny. He's a horny baby.
219
00:06:45,760 --> 00:06:48,628
Okay, let's just make sure that we
actually saw what we think we saw.
220
00:06:48,662 --> 00:06:49,963
- Okay.
- Okay?
221
00:06:49,997 --> 00:06:52,532
But let's be super cool and chill about it
222
00:06:52,566 --> 00:06:53,533
so we don't freak him out.
223
00:06:53,567 --> 00:06:54,567
Dude.
224
00:06:54,602 --> 00:06:55,568
Hey, buddy.
225
00:06:55,603 --> 00:06:58,171
- Hey.
- Um, so.
226
00:06:58,205 --> 00:06:59,139
Mom and I... [clears throat].
227
00:06:59,173 --> 00:07:00,306
We, well, we think we know why
228
00:07:00,341 --> 00:07:02,509
you've been riding Mr. Caterpillar
at the mall so much.
229
00:07:02,543 --> 00:07:05,072
Yeah. NBD, no big whoop,
230
00:07:05,106 --> 00:07:06,239
but, uh,
231
00:07:06,274 --> 00:07:07,374
maybe you're just
232
00:07:07,408 --> 00:07:08,742
trying to get a little look-see
233
00:07:08,776 --> 00:07:11,211
at the ladies' underwear store?
234
00:07:11,245 --> 00:07:12,646
I'm sorry. I'm so so...
235
00:07:12,680 --> 00:07:14,047
- No, no, no, no, no, no.
- Oh wait, no, no, no.
236
00:07:14,082 --> 00:07:15,115
You're not in trouble.
237
00:07:15,149 --> 00:07:16,149
- Okay?
- Whew, okay.
238
00:07:16,184 --> 00:07:17,284
And we are just, like,
239
00:07:17,318 --> 00:07:18,318
cool and chill people.
240
00:07:18,353 --> 00:07:19,386
- Yes!
- Super chill.
241
00:07:19,420 --> 00:07:21,822
No, you have nothing to be
ashamed about.
242
00:07:21,856 --> 00:07:22,622
Really?
243
00:07:22,657 --> 00:07:23,957
- No.
- Totes.
244
00:07:23,991 --> 00:07:25,926
Listen, you are just getting to that age
245
00:07:25,960 --> 00:07:27,327
where you're starting to realize that
246
00:07:27,362 --> 00:07:29,450
girls have different bodies than boys.
247
00:07:29,485 --> 00:07:30,797
Maybe you were just trying
to get a look at her...
248
00:07:30,832 --> 00:07:32,733
- Bra.
- Oh, God.
249
00:07:32,767 --> 00:07:34,067
My baby just said "bra."
250
00:07:34,102 --> 00:07:35,268
Good, good, good, that's what I thought,
251
00:07:35,303 --> 00:07:36,570
that's what I thought.
252
00:07:36,604 --> 00:07:37,604
Cool, cool, cool. Tight, tight, tight.
253
00:07:37,638 --> 00:07:38,839
- Yep.
- That's... fine.
254
00:07:38,873 --> 00:07:39,639
Tot... it's... look.
255
00:07:39,674 --> 00:07:42,075
It is totally natural to be curious.
256
00:07:42,110 --> 00:07:43,510
I mean, if you think about it,
257
00:07:43,544 --> 00:07:45,912
the bra... is like the shoes of the chest.
258
00:07:45,947 --> 00:07:47,514
Whereas, like, your underwear
would be the shoe of your...
259
00:07:47,548 --> 00:07:48,815
Okay, you know what I think?
260
00:07:48,850 --> 00:07:50,947
I think maybe that your dad and I
261
00:07:50,982 --> 00:07:52,763
just need a quick second to talk
262
00:07:52,854 --> 00:07:54,154
- Talk.
- Yeah, yeah.
263
00:07:54,188 --> 00:07:55,155
- Just a minute.
- Just us.
264
00:07:55,189 --> 00:07:56,456
Okay, that's fine.
265
00:07:56,491 --> 00:07:57,591
You can circle back with me later.
266
00:07:57,625 --> 00:07:59,025
Okay, we'll do that.
267
00:07:59,060 --> 00:08:00,994
We'll just have our people call your people.
268
00:08:01,028 --> 00:08:02,262
We'll interface later.
269
00:08:02,296 --> 00:08:04,131
[hip-hop music]
270
00:08:04,165 --> 00:08:07,000
Oh. That is a good outfit.
271
00:08:07,034 --> 00:08:09,282
I wouldn't mind taking that off of you
272
00:08:09,317 --> 00:08:10,103
and then doing things with you.
273
00:08:10,138 --> 00:08:12,773
Oh, thank you. I got it at the store that
274
00:08:12,807 --> 00:08:15,375
- turns your son on.
- Yah! Kay.
275
00:08:15,410 --> 00:08:17,511
Oh, God. David, what are we gonna do?
276
00:08:17,545 --> 00:08:19,045
How are we gonna give a sex talk to a kid
277
00:08:19,080 --> 00:08:21,214
that thinks "Monsters, Inc."
is a scary movie?
278
00:08:21,249 --> 00:08:22,716
Yeah, okay, so it's happening
279
00:08:22,750 --> 00:08:24,551
earlier than we thought it was gonna happen.
280
00:08:24,585 --> 00:08:26,219
But Louie's growing up. That is...
281
00:08:26,254 --> 00:08:27,521
kinda cool.
282
00:08:27,555 --> 00:08:29,189
My mom never even gave me a sex talk.
283
00:08:29,223 --> 00:08:30,891
She just threw a bunch
of pamphlets on my bed
284
00:08:30,925 --> 00:08:32,325
from the Baptist church telling me about
285
00:08:32,360 --> 00:08:33,827
how God was watching me masturbate.
286
00:08:33,861 --> 00:08:34,849
Hmm.
287
00:08:35,049 --> 00:08:35,862
We're not even Baptist.
288
00:08:35,897 --> 00:08:37,731
You know what I'm not gonna teach him?
289
00:08:37,765 --> 00:08:39,533
- Is to be ashamed.
- Right.
290
00:08:39,567 --> 00:08:41,301
Louie's gonna grow up
differently than I did.
291
00:08:41,335 --> 00:08:42,569
Mm-hmm.
292
00:08:42,603 --> 00:08:44,805
So I guess it's time for my sex talk.
293
00:08:44,839 --> 00:08:47,874
Or should I say... my sex song?
294
00:08:47,909 --> 00:08:50,477
Oh, that's on the table. Cool.
295
00:08:50,511 --> 00:08:51,912
You know what?
296
00:08:51,946 --> 00:08:53,647
I can mold Louie before society gets to him.
297
00:08:53,681 --> 00:08:55,982
I'm gonna make sure we raise a woke son.
298
00:08:56,017 --> 00:08:57,717
I'm gonna take him to work tomorrow
299
00:08:57,752 --> 00:08:59,319
and I'm gonna show him that women are smart,
300
00:08:59,353 --> 00:09:02,155
creative, and more than something to just...
301
00:09:02,190 --> 00:09:03,390
put a bra on.
302
00:09:03,424 --> 00:09:05,225
Okay, sweetie, remember.
303
00:09:05,259 --> 00:09:06,993
Girls are capable,
304
00:09:07,028 --> 00:09:09,162
creative, and have feelings, okay?
305
00:09:09,197 --> 00:09:10,430
Many of them are artists
306
00:09:10,465 --> 00:09:12,532
and bosses, just like your mama.
307
00:09:12,567 --> 00:09:14,601
We are not just something
for boys to look at.
308
00:09:14,635 --> 00:09:17,537
- Even her?
- Oh.
309
00:09:17,572 --> 00:09:19,439
Come on, Xandra, help a sister out.
310
00:09:19,474 --> 00:09:21,107
I'm supposed to be molding him.
311
00:09:21,142 --> 00:09:23,176
Yes, even her, okay?
312
00:09:23,211 --> 00:09:27,887
Sure, she is... very curvy,
but that doesn't define her.
313
00:09:27,922 --> 00:09:30,550
Did you know she formulated
the antidote to a zombie virus
314
00:09:30,585 --> 00:09:33,587
and is now president of
the apocalyptic transitional government?
315
00:09:33,621 --> 00:09:36,756
A democracy, I might add. Ahem.
316
00:09:36,791 --> 00:09:39,059
She is complex and capable
317
00:09:39,093 --> 00:09:41,394
and deserves to be treated with respect.
318
00:09:41,429 --> 00:09:43,216
Wow. I never knew all that.
319
00:09:43,251 --> 00:09:44,631
- What a lady.
- Yeah.
320
00:09:44,665 --> 00:09:45,632
- Hey!
- What's up?
321
00:09:45,666 --> 00:09:47,100
Oh, go away, pig man.
322
00:09:47,134 --> 00:09:49,603
- You will not ruin this for me.
- Whoa, okay.
323
00:09:49,637 --> 00:09:51,471
Pig man has nothing but respect for women.
324
00:09:51,506 --> 00:09:53,473
And I agree about Xandra.
325
00:09:53,508 --> 00:09:56,977
Mad props to a busy lady
who finds time to keep it tight.
326
00:09:57,011 --> 00:09:58,612
- Just like my mom.
- Okay.
327
00:09:58,646 --> 00:10:00,947
Women contribute a lot to the world, Louie.
328
00:10:00,982 --> 00:10:03,483
Like, when no one wants to produce
your one-man show,
329
00:10:03,518 --> 00:10:06,419
they give you five grand
because you're their little fuzzy-face.
330
00:10:06,454 --> 00:10:07,654
God, I miss my moms.
331
00:10:07,688 --> 00:10:09,322
Okay, maybe not five grand.
332
00:10:09,357 --> 00:10:10,624
So remember, lad.
333
00:10:10,658 --> 00:10:12,626
Women, they aren't our equals, okay?
334
00:10:12,660 --> 00:10:13,960
They're much better.
335
00:10:13,995 --> 00:10:16,096
And what do they get to show for it, eh?
336
00:10:16,130 --> 00:10:16,897
I'll tell you what.
337
00:10:16,931 --> 00:10:19,499
A husband who vanishes
into the Scottish Highlands
338
00:10:19,534 --> 00:10:23,603
and a son who needs to be cleansed
of her very existence.
339
00:10:23,638 --> 00:10:24,738
Wow.
340
00:10:24,772 --> 00:10:26,573
[strumming guitar]
341
00:10:26,607 --> 00:10:28,408
Tickling the old six-string.
342
00:10:28,442 --> 00:10:30,610
Uh, noodlin' on a new jam for Louie.
343
00:10:30,645 --> 00:10:32,145
Trying to help him out.
344
00:10:32,179 --> 00:10:33,179
Sweet.
345
00:10:33,214 --> 00:10:34,347
Lay it on me, Ringo.
346
00:10:34,382 --> 00:10:35,582
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
347
00:10:35,616 --> 00:10:37,784
All right. [clears throat]
348
00:10:37,818 --> 00:10:39,853
[guitar music]
349
00:10:39,887 --> 00:10:42,255
♪ Sometimes you get a feeling ♪
350
00:10:42,290 --> 00:10:43,790
♪ Deep inside your jeans ♪
351
00:10:43,824 --> 00:10:45,692
♪ That is when your father ♪
352
00:10:45,726 --> 00:10:48,194
♪ Will come tell you what it means ♪
353
00:10:48,229 --> 00:10:50,230
♪ That's an erection ♪
354
00:10:50,364 --> 00:10:52,699
♪ That's an erection ♪
355
00:10:52,733 --> 00:10:58,805
♪ That's an erection, my son ♪
356
00:10:58,839 --> 00:11:04,611
I can't tell if you are
a worse guitar player or father.
357
00:11:04,645 --> 00:11:05,879
[strumming guitar]
358
00:11:05,913 --> 00:11:08,682
♪ Sometimes I get a feeling ♪
359
00:11:08,716 --> 00:11:11,318
♪ Deep inside my jeans ♪
360
00:11:12,386 --> 00:11:15,055
Now that I've taught Louie
to be respectful to women,
361
00:11:15,089 --> 00:11:18,658
the next step is a carefully worded
birds and the bees conversation.
362
00:11:18,693 --> 00:11:19,826
You know what?
363
00:11:19,860 --> 00:11:21,995
One day when you get older, you'll
364
00:11:22,029 --> 00:11:24,564
meet a girl that you like and respect,
365
00:11:24,599 --> 00:11:27,000
and you'll need to know about the next...
366
00:11:27,034 --> 00:11:29,636
big thing that Dad and I need to tell you.
367
00:11:29,670 --> 00:11:30,704
Are you talking about sex stuff?
368
00:11:30,738 --> 00:11:31,905
'Cause I already know.
369
00:11:31,939 --> 00:11:32,706
What?
370
00:11:32,740 --> 00:11:34,808
How? Who told you? The internet?
371
00:11:34,842 --> 00:11:36,643
Um, I'm not gonna tell you
372
00:11:36,677 --> 00:11:38,411
'cause it seems like you're gonna get mad.
373
00:11:38,446 --> 00:11:39,579
Sweetie.
374
00:11:39,614 --> 00:11:40,580
You can tell me anything.
375
00:11:40,615 --> 00:11:42,248
I'm not gonna get mad.
376
00:11:42,283 --> 00:11:43,583
Grandma told me.
377
00:11:43,618 --> 00:11:46,519
Oh, cool, cool, cool. Tight, tight, tight.
378
00:11:46,554 --> 00:11:50,274
Hey, uh, when did Grandma
talk to you about that, Lou?
379
00:11:50,309 --> 00:11:52,826
After she caught me looking
at the underwear store.
380
00:11:52,860 --> 00:11:55,028
She told me I shouldn't do that
'cause it's shameful
381
00:11:55,062 --> 00:11:57,530
to look at the bra lady,
'cause she's a skank.
382
00:11:57,565 --> 00:11:58,765
What?
383
00:11:58,799 --> 00:12:00,700
Okay, Louie,
384
00:12:00,735 --> 00:12:02,702
no woman is a skank.
385
00:12:02,737 --> 00:12:04,371
But your grandma's a [bleep].
386
00:12:06,640 --> 00:12:08,871
Completely inappropriate. Over the line.
387
00:12:08,905 --> 00:12:11,006
I was so worried about society interfering
388
00:12:11,041 --> 00:12:12,675
with Louie's growing up, I forgot about
389
00:12:12,709 --> 00:12:14,443
an even more dangerous influence:
390
00:12:14,478 --> 00:12:15,711
my parents.
391
00:12:15,745 --> 00:12:17,446
You had no right to brainwash our son.
392
00:12:17,481 --> 00:12:20,816
We wanted Louie to grow up
with a healthy view of sex.
393
00:12:20,851 --> 00:12:22,218
But you ruined that view.
394
00:12:22,252 --> 00:12:25,721
And you built a skyscraper
on a foundation of shame and skanks.
395
00:12:25,755 --> 00:12:27,957
And you had no right to impose your
396
00:12:27,991 --> 00:12:30,126
effed up view of sex on the kids.
397
00:12:30,160 --> 00:12:32,328
- That is our job.
- That's right!
398
00:12:32,362 --> 00:12:33,629
I had to say something,
399
00:12:33,663 --> 00:12:36,799
the way he was leering at
that dirty mannequin at the mall.
400
00:12:36,833 --> 00:12:38,167
- Excuse me?
- What?
401
00:12:38,201 --> 00:12:39,468
Why am I in trouble?
402
00:12:39,503 --> 00:12:40,703
She is the one who did this.
403
00:12:40,737 --> 00:12:43,005
I wanted the boy to learn about sex
the way that I did,
404
00:12:43,039 --> 00:12:45,708
by watching two rascally jackals
make love in a ditch.
405
00:12:45,742 --> 00:12:46,876
You know what?
406
00:12:46,910 --> 00:12:48,711
Neither of you will interfere again.
407
00:12:48,745 --> 00:12:50,312
I will have my father and son moment
408
00:12:50,347 --> 00:12:51,313
and it will be beautiful,
409
00:12:51,348 --> 00:12:52,648
and it will be poignant,
410
00:12:52,682 --> 00:12:53,916
and it will be catchy as hell.
411
00:12:53,950 --> 00:12:54,650
Yes.
412
00:12:54,684 --> 00:12:56,352
Oh, my God, the erection song?
413
00:12:56,386 --> 00:12:57,353
Yes.
414
00:12:57,387 --> 00:12:59,355
Louie will pray to see
those ditch jackals.
415
00:12:59,389 --> 00:13:00,656
David is right.
416
00:13:00,690 --> 00:13:02,391
Anything you two have to say about sex
417
00:13:02,425 --> 00:13:03,893
is backwards and prudish.
418
00:13:03,927 --> 00:13:06,328
My God, you didn't even ever
give me a sex talk!
419
00:13:06,363 --> 00:13:07,329
I had to do it.
420
00:13:07,364 --> 00:13:08,564
We'll go with that.
421
00:13:08,598 --> 00:13:12,168
Mom, I don't think I've ever even
heard you say the word "penis."
422
00:13:12,202 --> 00:13:13,269
Because...
423
00:13:13,303 --> 00:13:15,604
"Penis" doesn't belong
in a woman's mouth.
424
00:13:15,639 --> 00:13:16,739
Okie dokie.
425
00:13:16,773 --> 00:13:18,741
[playing guitar]
426
00:13:18,775 --> 00:13:21,076
♪ Here's some rules to know ♪
427
00:13:21,111 --> 00:13:23,279
♪ You gotta take it slow ♪
428
00:13:23,313 --> 00:13:25,948
♪ And remember that her breast buds ♪
429
00:13:25,982 --> 00:13:28,117
♪ Aren't your new best buds ♪
430
00:13:28,151 --> 00:13:31,921
Both: ♪ Till she says yes, bud ♪
431
00:13:31,955 --> 00:13:33,355
- Little pitchy.
- Okay.
432
00:13:33,390 --> 00:13:35,758
Both: ♪ And no means no ♪
433
00:13:35,792 --> 00:13:38,127
Hey, what are you guy...
434
00:13:38,161 --> 00:13:40,729
♪ Nothing is too weird to be tried ♪
435
00:13:40,764 --> 00:13:42,631
Nothing, okay?
436
00:13:42,666 --> 00:13:47,369
♪ In fact I am my favorite ride ♪
437
00:13:47,404 --> 00:13:51,907
- ♪ Sex is a ♪
- Both: ♪ Beautiful buffet ♪
438
00:13:51,942 --> 00:13:55,044
♪ And anyone you love is okay ♪
439
00:13:55,078 --> 00:13:56,779
Sing it with me, everybody.
440
00:13:56,813 --> 00:14:00,816
All: ♪ And anyone you love ♪
441
00:14:00,850 --> 00:14:05,654
♪ Is okay ♪
442
00:14:05,689 --> 00:14:07,122
Love is love, babe.
443
00:14:07,157 --> 00:14:08,123
Okay?
444
00:14:08,158 --> 00:14:09,391
Good job.
445
00:14:09,426 --> 00:14:10,626
Take it a little darker now.
446
00:14:10,660 --> 00:14:12,061
♪ Chlamydia, chlamydia ♪
447
00:14:12,095 --> 00:14:13,596
♪ Ooh, it's a pity-ya ♪
448
00:14:13,630 --> 00:14:14,830
♪ What is this chlamydia? ♪
449
00:14:14,864 --> 00:14:16,298
♪ Ooh, you got chlamydia ♪
450
00:14:16,333 --> 00:14:17,600
David, I gotta say.
451
00:14:17,634 --> 00:14:20,736
- Parenting isn't that hard.
- Right?
452
00:14:20,770 --> 00:14:22,805
Yeah! The books make you think it is,
453
00:14:22,839 --> 00:14:25,474
but it isn't. We could write a book.
454
00:14:25,508 --> 00:14:27,109
You know, I don't know
if you're kidding right now,
455
00:14:27,143 --> 00:14:28,310
but that's actually brilliant.
456
00:14:28,345 --> 00:14:29,645
No, I'm serious.
457
00:14:29,679 --> 00:14:31,280
I'm also just, like, a skosh drunk.
458
00:14:31,314 --> 00:14:32,481
Mm-hmm.
459
00:14:32,515 --> 00:14:33,749
Mom, Dad?
460
00:14:33,783 --> 00:14:35,117
I've been reflecting in my room,
461
00:14:35,151 --> 00:14:36,352
and I needed to double-check a few things.
462
00:14:36,386 --> 00:14:37,486
- Mm-hmm.
- Okay.
463
00:14:37,520 --> 00:14:39,088
Anyone I love is okay, right?
464
00:14:39,122 --> 00:14:42,825
- Honey, never be ashamed.
- Love is love is love.
465
00:14:42,859 --> 00:14:44,827
And I can tell you anything, right?
466
00:14:44,861 --> 00:14:46,195
- Oh, yeah.
- Oh, gosh, yes.
467
00:14:46,229 --> 00:14:47,663
- Absolutely.
- There's nothing off-limits
468
00:14:47,697 --> 00:14:48,998
- in this family.
- That's right.
469
00:14:49,032 --> 00:14:51,433
Okay. I'm in love with Georgina.
470
00:14:51,468 --> 00:14:53,335
Okay.
471
00:14:53,370 --> 00:14:54,670
- Georgina.
- Aw.
472
00:14:54,704 --> 00:14:56,005
- Georgina.
- Sounds cute.
473
00:14:56,039 --> 00:14:57,339
Congratulations.
474
00:14:57,374 --> 00:14:59,541
Do we know this lucky lady Georgina?
475
00:14:59,576 --> 00:15:02,511
Yeah, she's the underwear lady at the mall.
476
00:15:02,545 --> 00:15:03,512
Wait.
477
00:15:03,546 --> 00:15:04,513
Oh, my God.
478
00:15:04,547 --> 00:15:06,548
Is he talking about the mannequin?
479
00:15:06,583 --> 00:15:07,616
Sorry, what now?
480
00:15:07,651 --> 00:15:09,184
You named the mannequin?
481
00:15:09,219 --> 00:15:10,019
Oh.
482
00:15:10,053 --> 00:15:12,354
You should put that
in your parenting book.
483
00:15:12,389 --> 00:15:13,789
No, not now. Not now.
484
00:15:13,823 --> 00:15:15,891
I think I need to go back to the mall.
485
00:15:15,925 --> 00:15:17,159
I need to tell her how I feel.
486
00:15:17,193 --> 00:15:18,460
I should go write some stuff down.
487
00:15:18,495 --> 00:15:19,695
I'll see you guys later.
488
00:15:19,729 --> 00:15:20,863
- Oh, honey, maybe not.
- Okay.
489
00:15:20,897 --> 00:15:22,364
- No, we'll talk in a bit.
- Oh.
490
00:15:22,399 --> 00:15:23,799
[playing guitar]
491
00:15:23,833 --> 00:15:26,035
♪ You thought you knew it all ♪
492
00:15:26,069 --> 00:15:29,104
♪ Now your son's in love with a doll ♪
493
00:15:31,408 --> 00:15:32,474
Well-played.
494
00:15:33,623 --> 00:15:34,730
Don't panic, just relax.
495
00:15:34,790 --> 00:15:36,724
It says here,
"Some kids go through a period
496
00:15:36,758 --> 00:15:39,356
"of expressing their sexuality
in unorthodox ways
497
00:15:39,391 --> 00:15:40,503
to deal with growing up."
498
00:15:40,538 --> 00:15:42,162
It's like a phase.
It's like when I was wearing kilts.
499
00:15:42,197 --> 00:15:43,397
What? No.
500
00:15:43,431 --> 00:15:45,465
That is [bleep]. This is not a phase.
501
00:15:45,479 --> 00:15:46,713
We have to shame him out of this, so
502
00:15:46,747 --> 00:15:48,014
find a book that tells us how to do that
503
00:15:48,048 --> 00:15:49,115
because my parents were right.
504
00:15:49,149 --> 00:15:50,216
Hey, it says in this one
505
00:15:50,251 --> 00:15:51,518
that if we play this wrong,
506
00:15:51,552 --> 00:15:52,619
he could drive it underground
507
00:15:52,653 --> 00:15:53,887
and then it becomes a fetish.
508
00:15:53,921 --> 00:15:54,954
No!
509
00:15:54,989 --> 00:15:56,456
I do not want him to grow up
510
00:15:56,490 --> 00:15:57,724
and get a doll as a girlfriend
511
00:15:57,758 --> 00:16:00,059
and then we have to pretend
to have conversations with it
512
00:16:00,094 --> 00:16:01,060
at Thanksgiving.
513
00:16:01,095 --> 00:16:02,295
Okay, we're not there yet.
514
00:16:02,329 --> 00:16:03,363
We're not there yet. It's Louie.
515
00:16:03,397 --> 00:16:04,697
This kinda makes sense, right?
516
00:16:04,732 --> 00:16:07,467
I mean, he's a sweet, sensitive boy
517
00:16:07,501 --> 00:16:10,970
somewhere in between
being a child and puberty.
518
00:16:11,005 --> 00:16:12,171
Of course he's gonna find a childlike way
519
00:16:12,206 --> 00:16:13,473
of expressing his sexuality.
520
00:16:13,507 --> 00:16:14,841
I was kind of that kid. I get it.
521
00:16:14,875 --> 00:16:16,376
Oh, okay, so he gets it from you, you perv.
522
00:16:16,410 --> 00:16:17,810
No, that's not what I'm saying.
523
00:16:17,845 --> 00:16:20,713
But I did spend one very memorable summer
524
00:16:20,748 --> 00:16:23,917
discovering myself with
the help of a Taco Bell cup
525
00:16:23,951 --> 00:16:25,752
with... wait for it...
526
00:16:25,786 --> 00:16:27,420
Jessica Rabbit on the side.
527
00:16:27,454 --> 00:16:29,989
I squeezed that cup till it cracked.
528
00:16:30,024 --> 00:16:32,325
- And then I realized what?
- I don't know.
529
00:16:32,359 --> 00:16:33,826
I had a crush on Tova Rabinowitz,
530
00:16:33,861 --> 00:16:35,328
and I was too shy to talk to her.
531
00:16:35,362 --> 00:16:36,663
I didn't want a cup and a chalupa
532
00:16:36,697 --> 00:16:39,198
and Jessica Rabbit. I wanted Tova.
533
00:16:39,233 --> 00:16:40,867
Okay. I hear what you're saying.
534
00:16:40,901 --> 00:16:44,571
So let's drive our son
to Kenlo Heights Mall
535
00:16:44,605 --> 00:16:46,539
so he can talk to a mannequin.
536
00:16:46,574 --> 00:16:49,175
Guys, that's it. I miss my mum.
537
00:16:49,209 --> 00:16:51,444
All right? I've shrunk my favorite cardigan.
538
00:16:51,478 --> 00:16:53,680
Look what happens when I do my laundry.
539
00:16:53,714 --> 00:16:56,015
I got so frustrated I
just sat outside a Denny's
540
00:16:56,050 --> 00:16:57,917
revving my engine for 45 minutes.
541
00:16:57,952 --> 00:16:59,619
This has gone too far now, okay?
542
00:16:59,653 --> 00:17:01,688
We need to call this mum cleanse off.
543
00:17:01,722 --> 00:17:02,922
Whoa, whoa, whoa, okay. No, no, no, no.
544
00:17:02,957 --> 00:17:03,957
We can't give up.
545
00:17:03,991 --> 00:17:04,958
I can.
546
00:17:04,992 --> 00:17:05,959
I love giving up.
547
00:17:05,993 --> 00:17:06,859
It's my best thing.
548
00:17:06,894 --> 00:17:08,061
- I can help you.
- Yes.
549
00:17:08,095 --> 00:17:09,195
No, no, no.
550
00:17:09,229 --> 00:17:10,263
Chewey, you shrunk your cardigan,
551
00:17:10,297 --> 00:17:11,264
but you did it all by yourself.
552
00:17:11,298 --> 00:17:12,599
And Norman,
553
00:17:12,633 --> 00:17:14,267
think of all the things you've seen and done
554
00:17:14,301 --> 00:17:16,202
without having to FaceTime your moms.
555
00:17:16,236 --> 00:17:17,370
I went outside.
556
00:17:17,404 --> 00:17:19,472
You went... outside.
557
00:17:19,506 --> 00:17:20,974
Me, I just sunk my life savings
558
00:17:21,008 --> 00:17:22,709
into Mark Ruffalo's cryptocurrency.
559
00:17:22,743 --> 00:17:24,477
Yesterday, for half a second,
560
00:17:24,511 --> 00:17:26,879
I was worth $4 million.
561
00:17:26,914 --> 00:17:27,981
Today? Nothing.
562
00:17:28,015 --> 00:17:30,617
But tomorrow, oof. Maybe. Who knows?
563
00:17:30,651 --> 00:17:32,485
The point is the mom cleanse is working.
564
00:17:32,519 --> 00:17:33,987
We're in this baby, okay?
565
00:17:34,021 --> 00:17:35,722
The pig man has spoken.
566
00:17:36,504 --> 00:17:37,390
Here we go.
567
00:17:37,424 --> 00:17:40,293
We're being open, accepting,
and loving to our son.
568
00:17:40,327 --> 00:17:43,896
And if I see anyone I know, I'm bolting.
569
00:17:43,931 --> 00:17:45,665
[gasps]
570
00:17:45,699 --> 00:17:48,301
Where is she? That's not her.
571
00:17:48,335 --> 00:17:50,103
They killed Georgina.
572
00:17:50,137 --> 00:17:52,605
Luckily we found out
that Georgina hadn't gone far.
573
00:17:52,640 --> 00:17:53,606
Well, she couldn't go far.
574
00:17:53,641 --> 00:17:55,074
She's a doll.
575
00:17:55,109 --> 00:17:58,344
And, much like David's Taco Bell cup,
576
00:17:58,379 --> 00:18:00,013
she'd seen better days.
577
00:18:01,064 --> 00:18:01,988
- Mom.
- Yeah.
578
00:18:02,023 --> 00:18:02,841
- Dad?
- Yeah.
579
00:18:02,876 --> 00:18:03,416
A little privacy, please.
580
00:18:03,450 --> 00:18:04,617
- Oh, yep. Sure, bud.
- Yep. Sure.
581
00:18:04,652 --> 00:18:06,753
He said casually as his son declared
582
00:18:06,787 --> 00:18:10,023
his love for something that doesn't blink.
583
00:18:10,057 --> 00:18:11,290
"Georgina, my love,
584
00:18:11,325 --> 00:18:12,659
"I loved you from afar.
585
00:18:12,693 --> 00:18:15,461
I think you were watching me too."
586
00:18:15,496 --> 00:18:16,929
God, it was so much easier
587
00:18:16,964 --> 00:18:18,665
back when we just had to
get him to take a shower.
588
00:18:18,699 --> 00:18:20,466
Right? I mean, two bucks and a marshmallow,
589
00:18:20,501 --> 00:18:21,868
- he's in the shower.
- I know.
590
00:18:21,902 --> 00:18:23,803
Pretty soon when he takes a shower,
591
00:18:23,837 --> 00:18:26,806
it's gonna be weird and something else.
592
00:18:26,840 --> 00:18:28,608
And we don't give marshmallows for that.
593
00:18:28,642 --> 00:18:30,977
No. No.
594
00:18:33,814 --> 00:18:37,717
I mean, I'm always proud
when our kids hit a milestone, but...
595
00:18:37,751 --> 00:18:41,854
This feels like we're saying
good-bye to something.
596
00:18:41,889 --> 00:18:44,123
He's not our baby anymore.
597
00:18:44,158 --> 00:18:46,392
I know.
598
00:18:46,427 --> 00:18:48,895
[laughs]
599
00:18:49,706 --> 00:18:51,419
- That's a rat. We should go.
- Oh, no.
600
00:18:51,454 --> 00:18:52,274
Come on this way.
601
00:18:52,309 --> 00:18:53,132
- Come on.
- You don't need to know why.
602
00:18:53,167 --> 00:18:54,634
- Get away from the dumpster.
- It's not about Georgina.
603
00:18:54,668 --> 00:18:56,302
It's a separate dumpster thing.
604
00:18:56,336 --> 00:18:57,303
Oh, that's a big rat.
605
00:18:57,337 --> 00:18:58,705
How you doing, bud?
606
00:18:58,739 --> 00:19:00,306
I'm fine. From far away,
607
00:19:00,340 --> 00:19:01,841
Georgina seemed really real.
608
00:19:01,875 --> 00:19:03,910
But up close, she has dead eyes.
609
00:19:03,944 --> 00:19:06,045
Yeah, I think I'm gonna have a nightmare.
610
00:19:06,080 --> 00:19:07,013
Hey, honey?
611
00:19:07,047 --> 00:19:09,816
We're so glad that you talked to Georgina.
612
00:19:09,850 --> 00:19:11,984
But is there maybe a girl at school
613
00:19:12,019 --> 00:19:13,319
you want to talk to?
614
00:19:13,353 --> 00:19:14,754
Yeah. Tasha.
615
00:19:14,788 --> 00:19:17,323
But... she makes me nervous.
616
00:19:17,357 --> 00:19:18,424
Sometimes she says hi,
617
00:19:18,459 --> 00:19:19,425
but I don't know what to say,
618
00:19:19,460 --> 00:19:20,493
so I run to the bathroom.
619
00:19:20,527 --> 00:19:22,061
Oh, yeah.
620
00:19:22,096 --> 00:19:24,263
The old run into the bathroom trick.
621
00:19:24,298 --> 00:19:25,531
That must be genetic.
622
00:19:25,566 --> 00:19:26,833
You know what, that's what I used to do.
623
00:19:26,867 --> 00:19:30,703
See? Now this is the sweet
rite-of-passage moment I hoped for
624
00:19:30,738 --> 00:19:32,739
when I held little newborn Louie.
625
00:19:32,773 --> 00:19:34,373
Oh, God, is that rat following us?
626
00:19:34,408 --> 00:19:35,541
Okay, I'm gonna run away.
627
00:19:35,576 --> 00:19:36,676
Go. Go. Move, move, move.
628
00:19:36,710 --> 00:19:39,512
So. How was the love fest
with the dummy?
629
00:19:39,546 --> 00:19:42,081
Are you going to meet her parents?
630
00:19:42,116 --> 00:19:43,282
It's fine, Mom.
631
00:19:43,317 --> 00:19:44,684
Louie's in love with Tasha now.
632
00:19:44,718 --> 00:19:46,753
Now what's Tasha? A pool floatie?
633
00:19:46,787 --> 00:19:48,554
Parenting isn't so easy, is it?
634
00:19:48,589 --> 00:19:49,856
No.
635
00:19:49,890 --> 00:19:52,024
It's just I make these choices every day,
636
00:19:52,059 --> 00:19:54,127
and I never know if they're gonna be right,
637
00:19:54,161 --> 00:19:56,295
until the kids grow up and are mad at me.
638
00:19:56,330 --> 00:19:57,530
Like you're mad at me
639
00:19:57,564 --> 00:19:59,632
for not giving you some big sex talk.
640
00:19:59,666 --> 00:20:02,702
But... today is your lucky day.
641
00:20:02,736 --> 00:20:05,371
I'm giving it to you now.
642
00:20:05,405 --> 00:20:06,806
All right. Let's hear it.
643
00:20:06,840 --> 00:20:09,876
When a man and a woman love each other,
644
00:20:09,910 --> 00:20:13,379
they take off their clothes
645
00:20:13,413 --> 00:20:15,047
and they create
646
00:20:15,082 --> 00:20:16,749
an ungrateful child
647
00:20:16,784 --> 00:20:18,551
who will never let them forget
648
00:20:18,585 --> 00:20:20,119
any of their mistakes.
649
00:20:20,154 --> 00:20:22,588
[smooth music]
650
00:20:22,623 --> 00:20:24,457
There she is.
651
00:20:24,491 --> 00:20:26,826
♪
652
00:20:26,860 --> 00:20:29,228
It's bittersweet watching your kid grow up.
653
00:20:29,263 --> 00:20:30,630
But at some point
654
00:20:30,664 --> 00:20:32,331
you just have to let go.
655
00:20:32,366 --> 00:20:33,566
Well, well, well.
656
00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:36,836
So you're the reason Griffy-poo
wants to manage his own money.
657
00:20:36,870 --> 00:20:39,572
Only Mommy makes money moves.
658
00:20:39,606 --> 00:20:40,740
Uh.
659
00:20:40,774 --> 00:20:42,108
I thought that Tristram was dead.
660
00:20:42,142 --> 00:20:43,109
Who?
661
00:20:43,143 --> 00:20:44,043
Chewey.
662
00:20:44,077 --> 00:20:46,746
He didn't show up for his mummy cuddle time.
663
00:20:46,780 --> 00:20:48,414
Are you the one that told our Norman
664
00:20:48,448 --> 00:20:49,448
not to call his mamas?
665
00:20:49,483 --> 00:20:50,917
I'm a pacifist.
666
00:20:50,951 --> 00:20:53,486
But no baby boy, no peace.
667
00:20:53,520 --> 00:20:55,488
I will tear your ass up.
668
00:20:55,522 --> 00:20:56,589
Moms!
669
00:20:56,623 --> 00:20:58,691
Oh! Baby!
670
00:20:58,725 --> 00:20:59,792
I'll just go!
671
00:20:59,827 --> 00:21:00,793
[squeals]
672
00:21:00,828 --> 00:21:01,994
Thank you...
673
00:21:02,029 --> 00:21:03,196
What are you doing here?
674
00:21:03,230 --> 00:21:04,797
You didn't miss us enough to call.
675
00:21:04,832 --> 00:21:07,600
Oh! You're so strong!
676
00:21:07,634 --> 00:21:09,268
Chewey.
677
00:21:09,303 --> 00:21:13,039
Your mom is hot. Oh, man.
678
00:21:13,073 --> 00:21:14,440
- I missed you.
- Wow.
679
00:21:14,474 --> 00:21:18,311
This answers so many questions
I had about them.
680
00:21:18,312 --> 00:21:20,312
- synced and corrected by sot26 -
www.addic7ed.com
47501
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish (Latin American)
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof