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1
00:00:06,320 --> 00:00:08,087
- What?! No!
- No, no, no! No, come on!
2
00:00:08,088 --> 00:00:09,926
They didn't even tell us
who murdered the queen!
3
00:00:09,927 --> 00:00:11,068
Ugh.
4
00:00:11,425 --> 00:00:12,734
You know what? It's all good.
5
00:00:12,735 --> 00:00:14,536
The next episode
starts in ten seconds.
6
00:00:14,537 --> 00:00:15,937
Yes.
7
00:00:17,624 --> 00:00:19,592
You know, should we
watch this next episode,
8
00:00:19,593 --> 00:00:22,394
or should we do what we
normally do on Saturday nights?
9
00:00:23,530 --> 00:00:25,932
Unload the dishwasher?
10
00:00:25,933 --> 00:00:28,601
Why would I use my
sexy voice for that?
11
00:00:28,602 --> 00:00:31,771
I'm talking about,
you know...
12
00:00:31,772 --> 00:00:34,206
Oh. Ooh.
13
00:00:34,207 --> 00:00:35,308
Yeah, let's do that.
14
00:00:35,309 --> 00:00:38,477
All right.
15
00:00:40,080 --> 00:00:42,982
Or we could just watch
one more episode.
16
00:00:42,983 --> 00:00:45,251
Ah. God, I love you.
17
00:00:45,252 --> 00:00:47,086
I love you, too.
18
00:00:47,087 --> 00:00:50,089
Nope.
We should just do it now,
19
00:00:50,090 --> 00:00:52,358
- or it's never gonna happen.
- Totally agree. Totally agree.
20
00:00:52,359 --> 00:00:55,361
You know what? I'm gonna
go, uh, wolf down
21
00:00:55,362 --> 00:00:58,129
a piece of that garlic bread so
it's not just on your breath.
22
00:01:01,101 --> 00:01:04,070
Maybe take a bite
of a deviled egg, too.
23
00:01:04,071 --> 00:01:06,272
...is calling it quits...
24
00:01:06,273 --> 00:01:09,241
Wait, Jake, look, they're
talking about your client on TV.
25
00:01:09,242 --> 00:01:13,346
Big news today, multi-platinum
Australian singer Cooper James
26
00:01:13,347 --> 00:01:16,682
has split with his movie star
flame Sierra Quinn.
27
00:01:16,683 --> 00:01:19,352
I know. It's such a shame
28
00:01:19,353 --> 00:01:21,686
because we all thought
that relationship
29
00:01:21,688 --> 00:01:25,024
could have lasted well into next week.
30
00:01:25,025 --> 00:01:27,026
Is this gonna affect you?
31
00:01:27,027 --> 00:01:28,294
No, I'm just Cooper's accountant.
32
00:01:28,295 --> 00:01:30,629
You know what we need is some tunes.
33
00:01:30,630 --> 00:01:33,532
Alexa! Play "Jake's New Sex Mix."
34
00:01:33,533 --> 00:01:36,102
Playing BBC News at Six.
35
00:01:36,103 --> 00:01:38,270
Every day, 12-year-old Ekemma
36
00:01:38,271 --> 00:01:40,806
must walk through
her violence-soaked village,
37
00:01:40,807 --> 00:01:44,477
avoiding the same rebels who
raped and murdered her mother.
38
00:01:44,478 --> 00:01:45,945
Shut up, Alexa!
39
00:01:47,314 --> 00:01:48,880
Who could that be?
40
00:01:51,985 --> 00:01:53,853
Hi. Is this Jake's house?
41
00:01:53,854 --> 00:01:55,755
Ooh.
42
00:01:55,756 --> 00:01:57,089
That's Cooper James.
43
00:01:57,090 --> 00:01:59,191
Why-why is, why is
Cooper James at our door?
44
00:01:59,192 --> 00:02:01,593
Um... uh...
45
00:02:02,996 --> 00:02:05,865
Cooper James, hi. It is
so nice to meet you.
46
00:02:05,866 --> 00:02:07,500
- You must be Claire.
- Hi.
47
00:02:07,501 --> 00:02:10,469
- Ooh, another one.
- Oh. A third.
48
00:02:10,470 --> 00:02:12,738
I should've taken a Dramamine.
49
00:02:12,739 --> 00:02:15,274
Sorry. Sorry to barge in
on you like this, Jake,
50
00:02:15,275 --> 00:02:17,009
but I'm having a bit of an emergency.
51
00:02:17,010 --> 00:02:18,344
Ooh, an accounting emergency.
52
00:02:18,345 --> 00:02:20,746
I've been waiting
my whole life for this.
53
00:02:20,747 --> 00:02:23,015
No, the, uh... the paparazzi
are after me since this breakup,
54
00:02:23,016 --> 00:02:25,284
and I need a safe place to hide,
so I thought,
55
00:02:25,285 --> 00:02:26,585
who is an ordinary guy
56
00:02:26,586 --> 00:02:28,521
living an ordinary life
in a totally ordinary place...
57
00:02:28,522 --> 00:02:30,956
Feel free to stop saying "ordinary."
58
00:02:30,957 --> 00:02:33,559
I, uh... Is it at all possible
that I crash here
59
00:02:33,560 --> 00:02:34,794
till this all dies down?
60
00:02:34,795 --> 00:02:37,663
- Oh, uh...
- Oh. Uh...
61
00:02:37,664 --> 00:02:39,098
Wait, I wasn't interrupting
anything, was I?
62
00:02:39,099 --> 00:02:40,633
- No.
- No.
63
00:02:40,634 --> 00:02:42,635
No, we were just sitting watching TV.
64
00:02:42,636 --> 00:02:44,670
- Yeah, just TV and...
- And eating Chex Mix.
65
00:02:44,671 --> 00:02:47,073
Playing "Jake's Sex Mix."
66
00:02:57,184 --> 00:03:01,620
Subtitle sync and corrections by
awaqeded for www.addic7ed.com.
67
00:03:07,434 --> 00:03:09,969
So, I talked to Cooper's
manager, and, uh,
68
00:03:09,970 --> 00:03:12,271
Wayne thinks this will all
blow over in a couple of weeks.
69
00:03:12,272 --> 00:03:14,640
Jake, we're not cool enough
70
00:03:14,641 --> 00:03:16,809
to host a guy like Cooper
for that long.
71
00:03:16,810 --> 00:03:19,412
Look at the reminders
popping up on his phone.
72
00:03:19,413 --> 00:03:20,980
Okay?
73
00:03:20,981 --> 00:03:23,216
"Studio session with Rihanna."
74
00:03:24,651 --> 00:03:26,419
"Dinner at The Met.
75
00:03:26,420 --> 00:03:28,954
Get fitted for a wax sculpture."
76
00:03:30,324 --> 00:03:33,860
We have scented candles, and
this kid is becoming a candle.
77
00:03:33,861 --> 00:03:35,428
Claire-bear.
78
00:03:35,429 --> 00:03:38,264
My nickname in college
was "Dr. Dunk." Okay?
79
00:03:38,265 --> 00:03:43,336
You once got pulled up on
stage by Sir Dave Matthews.
80
00:03:43,337 --> 00:03:45,338
It's not like we're new to the game.
81
00:03:45,339 --> 00:03:46,939
I don't think anyone calls it
"the game" anymore.
82
00:03:46,940 --> 00:03:49,008
Trust me, babe, the key
to handling famous people
83
00:03:49,009 --> 00:03:50,609
is just to not try that hard.
84
00:03:51,512 --> 00:03:55,014
Coop-burger!
85
00:03:55,015 --> 00:03:57,183
How'd you schnooze?
86
00:03:57,184 --> 00:03:58,951
Great. Hey, I hope you don't mind,
87
00:03:58,952 --> 00:04:00,253
but I didn't bring any, uh, clothes,
88
00:04:00,254 --> 00:04:02,354
so I just grabbed a couple
things from your closet.
89
00:04:03,590 --> 00:04:06,592
Those are from my closet.
90
00:04:06,593 --> 00:04:10,596
And they look amazing on you.
91
00:04:10,597 --> 00:04:12,031
They do.
92
00:04:12,032 --> 00:04:15,001
So, uh, do you guys mind
if I hang out with you today?
93
00:04:15,002 --> 00:04:17,636
Aren't you going fly-fishing
with Jaden Smith?
94
00:04:19,173 --> 00:04:21,340
I'm just loving
how simple things are here.
95
00:04:21,341 --> 00:04:23,743
Life with Sierra
was always so fancy, but...
96
00:04:23,744 --> 00:04:25,778
you guys literally put
an "eat" sign on the wall
97
00:04:25,779 --> 00:04:27,612
'cause that's what you do
in a kitchen.
98
00:04:28,749 --> 00:04:32,251
Yeah, picked that
bad boy up from Costco.
99
00:04:32,252 --> 00:04:34,592
It's a private store, but, uh,
I can get you on the list.
100
00:04:35,856 --> 00:04:38,758
Yeah. Yeah, being here is
reminding me so much of my life
101
00:04:38,759 --> 00:04:40,026
before all this craziness.
102
00:04:40,027 --> 00:04:41,093
You know, when I was in Australia,
103
00:04:41,094 --> 00:04:42,094
living with my parents.
104
00:04:42,095 --> 00:04:45,665
Parents.
105
00:04:45,666 --> 00:04:48,401
- Oh.
- Oh.
106
00:04:48,402 --> 00:04:49,669
You're not kidding.
107
00:04:49,670 --> 00:04:52,438
Um, we're only, like,
ten years older than you.
108
00:04:52,439 --> 00:04:53,840
Don't mind her, dude.
109
00:04:53,841 --> 00:04:55,006
She's new to the game.
110
00:04:56,343 --> 00:04:57,910
What game?
111
00:04:57,911 --> 00:05:00,012
Hey, man, you want to goose
some 'stree with me?
112
00:05:00,013 --> 00:05:02,415
Some 'stree. You want to goose it?
113
00:05:02,416 --> 00:05:06,184
He's-he's offering you a
pastry in a very weird voice.
114
00:05:07,254 --> 00:05:10,055
You are so lucky you get
to eat whatever you want.
115
00:05:11,358 --> 00:05:13,092
- Oh, my God.
- Right?
116
00:05:13,093 --> 00:05:15,328
- Oh, my God.
- Yup.
117
00:05:15,329 --> 00:05:17,196
Claire!
118
00:05:17,197 --> 00:05:20,366
This is the best thing ever.
119
00:05:20,367 --> 00:05:22,101
What would someone call this?
120
00:05:22,102 --> 00:05:25,670
Someone would call that
a Toaster Strudel.
121
00:05:26,707 --> 00:05:29,141
- You've got to give me the recipe.
- Oh.
122
00:05:29,142 --> 00:05:33,679
Oh, it's easy: you just put it
in a toaster, and you hit down.
123
00:05:33,680 --> 00:05:36,516
Amazing. So, uh, what are you up to?
124
00:05:36,517 --> 00:05:39,485
Oh, I'm just syncing up Jake and
my work calendars for the week.
125
00:05:39,486 --> 00:05:41,854
I, uh, design restaurants and bars.
126
00:05:41,855 --> 00:05:43,623
That's so cool.
Any places I would know?
127
00:05:43,624 --> 00:05:47,126
Oh, uh, well, the last place
was this French restaurant
128
00:05:47,127 --> 00:05:48,594
called Le Jardin Bleu.
129
00:05:48,595 --> 00:05:50,295
Are you serious?
130
00:05:51,798 --> 00:05:54,599
That is literally my
favorite restaurant.
131
00:05:55,536 --> 00:05:57,103
- Really?
- Mm-hmm.
132
00:05:57,104 --> 00:06:00,038
Yeah, yeah, I eat there
every time I'm in Morocco.
133
00:06:01,408 --> 00:06:02,975
Oh.
134
00:06:02,976 --> 00:06:07,680
Um, well, I designed the one
that is in the Best Buy Mall,
135
00:06:07,681 --> 00:06:12,852
um, just north of Oxnard.
136
00:06:12,853 --> 00:06:16,155
Well, I can't wait to try it someday.
137
00:06:16,156 --> 00:06:18,824
What's "Saturday night course work"?
138
00:06:21,962 --> 00:06:25,598
- What?
- What's "Saturday night course work"?
139
00:06:25,599 --> 00:06:26,798
What's what-what-what-what?
140
00:06:27,768 --> 00:06:30,169
"Saturday night course work."
141
00:06:30,170 --> 00:06:32,471
All right, look, man.
142
00:06:32,472 --> 00:06:34,210
So, my assistant has access
to our calendar, right?
143
00:06:34,211 --> 00:06:34,840
Mm-hmm.
144
00:06:34,841 --> 00:06:38,411
So "course" is short
for "intercourse."
145
00:06:38,412 --> 00:06:40,112
What?
146
00:06:40,113 --> 00:06:42,515
- Intercourse.
- What?
147
00:06:42,516 --> 00:06:45,484
Making sex!
148
00:06:45,485 --> 00:06:47,253
Yeah, we put it in the
calendar so we don't go
149
00:06:47,254 --> 00:06:48,354
more than a week without having it.
150
00:06:48,355 --> 00:06:49,488
- Ah.
- Yeah.
151
00:06:49,489 --> 00:06:50,957
Well, I guess I can relate.
152
00:06:50,958 --> 00:06:52,258
Yeah, with Sierra, we often
had to schedule breaks
153
00:06:52,259 --> 00:06:55,761
- in our sex life...
- Right.
154
00:06:55,762 --> 00:06:57,028
...because we were
having so much of it.
155
00:06:57,029 --> 00:06:57,830
Right, right.
156
00:06:57,831 --> 00:06:59,999
And, um, I developed a condition
157
00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:02,134
my doctors identified as "stud pole."
158
00:07:02,135 --> 00:07:04,337
Mm. "Stud pole."
159
00:07:04,338 --> 00:07:06,205
Or, as I like to call it, "college."
160
00:07:07,908 --> 00:07:10,309
Okay. He dated one
girl the whole time,
161
00:07:10,310 --> 00:07:12,410
and you're looking at her.
162
00:07:13,447 --> 00:07:15,348
Hey, I was, uh,
actually gonna sneak away
163
00:07:15,349 --> 00:07:17,750
to a private club tonight
if you guys wanted to join?
164
00:07:17,751 --> 00:07:18,961
- Oh.
- Ooh.
165
00:07:18,962 --> 00:07:21,487
But I... ooh, no, I see you've got
a couples massage booked today.
166
00:07:21,488 --> 00:07:23,489
Oh, no. That's, uh...
I think you misread that.
167
00:07:23,490 --> 00:07:25,157
That's "couples message."
168
00:07:25,158 --> 00:07:26,859
Yeah, um...
169
00:07:26,860 --> 00:07:29,228
Jake and I are kind of famous
with our friends for recording
170
00:07:29,229 --> 00:07:31,130
silly outgoing messages
on our landline.
171
00:07:31,131 --> 00:07:34,867
Yeah, we absolutely
crushed our last one.
172
00:07:34,868 --> 00:07:36,969
- Hit him with a taste, C-Train.
- No, I don't think...
173
00:07:36,970 --> 00:07:40,139
- Come on, girl.
- ♪ Hey, when you get ♪
174
00:07:40,140 --> 00:07:44,110
♪ To the end of the tone ♪
175
00:07:44,111 --> 00:07:47,913
♪ Please leave a message ♪
176
00:07:47,914 --> 00:07:53,419
♪ We'll get back to you,
we'll get back to you ♪
177
00:07:53,420 --> 00:07:56,188
♪ Hey, girl ♪
178
00:07:56,189 --> 00:08:00,126
♪ I'm so sad to miss your sweet,
sweet voice, but, uh ♪
179
00:08:00,127 --> 00:08:03,195
♪ Why don't you lay down a
smooth track with your deets ♪
180
00:08:03,196 --> 00:08:07,266
♪ And, uh, I'll get back ♪
181
00:08:07,267 --> 00:08:08,401
♪ A'ight? ♪
182
00:08:10,504 --> 00:08:12,772
It's so g... It's so great.
183
00:08:12,773 --> 00:08:14,473
I can't...
184
00:08:16,309 --> 00:08:19,311
- Ah...
- Ah...
185
00:08:19,312 --> 00:08:22,982
Cooper, we would love to
come out with you tonight.
186
00:08:26,353 --> 00:08:28,354
Whoa.
187
00:08:28,355 --> 00:08:30,722
Oh, my God.
188
00:08:31,758 --> 00:08:33,925
This place is incredible.
189
00:08:34,928 --> 00:08:37,663
Guys, this is my security
guard, Nightmare.
190
00:08:37,664 --> 00:08:39,165
Ha-ha! Nightmare.
191
00:08:39,166 --> 00:08:41,167
What up, player?
192
00:08:41,168 --> 00:08:43,269
Yeah.
193
00:08:43,270 --> 00:08:45,271
Okay, Jake, are we
too lame to be here?
194
00:08:45,272 --> 00:08:47,205
No.
195
00:08:51,611 --> 00:08:53,012
Yes!
196
00:08:53,013 --> 00:08:55,614
How am I doing?
197
00:08:55,615 --> 00:08:57,949
Uh, maybe try using
your upper body, too.
198
00:09:00,087 --> 00:09:01,153
It's lovely you're having fun.
199
00:09:01,154 --> 00:09:02,554
Shots!
200
00:09:05,192 --> 00:09:06,525
Ooh.
201
00:09:06,526 --> 00:09:09,862
Yeah! Yeah!
202
00:09:09,863 --> 00:09:11,630
Best Sunday night ever!
203
00:09:11,631 --> 00:09:12,997
Yeah! Yeah!
204
00:09:17,404 --> 00:09:20,205
Nightmare!
205
00:09:23,910 --> 00:09:26,845
Next time.
206
00:09:30,317 --> 00:09:32,318
Jake?
207
00:09:32,319 --> 00:09:33,853
Jake!
208
00:09:33,854 --> 00:09:37,323
Yeah, I'll slam
another Bud Light Lime.
209
00:09:37,324 --> 00:09:40,993
What happened last night?
210
00:09:40,994 --> 00:09:44,729
Well, I know
we came home to get it on...
211
00:09:46,166 --> 00:09:48,334
...uh, but you wanted
to grab a quick snack,
212
00:09:48,335 --> 00:09:51,971
and I went upstairs to change
into a sexier outfit.
213
00:09:51,972 --> 00:09:53,305
And then did we get it on?
214
00:09:53,306 --> 00:09:56,374
- I don't think so.
- Oh.
215
00:09:57,410 --> 00:09:59,812
Ugh, I am so hungover.
216
00:09:59,813 --> 00:10:02,114
There is no way
that I could go to work today.
217
00:10:02,115 --> 00:10:06,018
And I am so sore from
all that dancing.
218
00:10:06,019 --> 00:10:07,486
Holy crap, it's Rylie Connors.
219
00:10:07,487 --> 00:10:10,256
Ugh, yeah, it's just some fluff piece.
220
00:10:10,257 --> 00:10:13,359
But man, look at her butt.
I just want to bite it.
221
00:10:16,163 --> 00:10:21,300
Hi. This is my friend Rylie.
222
00:10:21,301 --> 00:10:23,402
Rylie, this is, uh,
Jake and Claire Davis.
223
00:10:23,403 --> 00:10:25,938
You have a very nice home,
Mr. and Mrs. Davis.
224
00:10:25,939 --> 00:10:27,306
"Mrs. Davis"?
225
00:10:27,307 --> 00:10:28,706
What do you think...
226
00:10:31,077 --> 00:10:35,847
Rylie! Rylie, I mean, come on.
Girl child.
227
00:10:37,517 --> 00:10:39,485
Jake and I are just like you guys.
228
00:10:39,486 --> 00:10:42,921
We're young and fun
and... full of beans.
229
00:10:44,090 --> 00:10:45,925
"Mr. Davis" makes me
sound like some sort of
230
00:10:45,926 --> 00:10:47,960
old man, which I am not.
231
00:10:49,930 --> 00:10:53,098
Oh, I got it. I got it.
232
00:10:53,099 --> 00:10:54,433
Last night was so crazy.
233
00:10:54,434 --> 00:10:57,169
Um, are you... are you not hungover?
234
00:10:57,170 --> 00:10:58,270
Oh, I just decided years ago
235
00:10:58,271 --> 00:10:59,805
to never let alcohol make me hungover.
236
00:10:59,806 --> 00:11:01,339
Dude, same.
237
00:11:03,677 --> 00:11:05,477
Uh, Claire-bear, could
you do me a quick slice
238
00:11:05,478 --> 00:11:06,679
and tilt this baby back up?
239
00:11:06,680 --> 00:11:08,746
Thank you.
240
00:11:09,683 --> 00:11:11,016
Anyway, we've been out all night,
241
00:11:11,017 --> 00:11:12,685
so, uh, we're gonna go to bed.
242
00:11:12,686 --> 00:11:14,253
Good night, Mr. and Mrs. Davis.
243
00:11:14,254 --> 00:11:15,487
Okay.
244
00:11:15,488 --> 00:11:18,591
We're barely older than you.
245
00:11:18,592 --> 00:11:20,593
Baby, you passed out in your cereal.
246
00:11:27,167 --> 00:11:29,335
Look, someone secretly
took photos of me
247
00:11:29,336 --> 00:11:30,970
dancing with Cooper at that nightclub.
248
00:11:30,971 --> 00:11:33,439
"Cooper James
seems to have traded in
249
00:11:33,440 --> 00:11:35,474
"his 19-year-old Lamborghini Sierra
250
00:11:35,475 --> 00:11:38,277
for what appears to be
a 40-year-old cargo van."
251
00:11:38,278 --> 00:11:41,647
What the hell? They cropped
me out of the picture.
252
00:11:41,648 --> 00:11:43,115
Our phones are blowing up.
253
00:11:43,116 --> 00:11:45,150
Everyone we know thinks I'm
having an affair with Cooper.
254
00:11:45,151 --> 00:11:47,519
Oh, here's one from my dad.
255
00:11:47,520 --> 00:11:50,623
"I told you, if you stopped
working out, you'd lose her."
256
00:11:51,858 --> 00:11:53,259
Jake, this is so embarrassing.
257
00:11:53,260 --> 00:11:55,661
Now my boss knows
that I lied about being sick,
258
00:11:55,662 --> 00:11:57,796
and everyone else thinks
that I'm an adulterer.
259
00:11:57,797 --> 00:11:59,598
Do you think you're overreacting
just a little?
260
00:11:59,599 --> 00:12:01,233
I don't think so.
261
00:12:01,234 --> 00:12:03,636
Look at this e-mail
I just got from our pastor.
262
00:12:03,637 --> 00:12:05,237
"Can you get me concert tickets,
263
00:12:05,238 --> 00:12:08,573
or was this a
'hit it and quit it' situation?"
264
00:12:12,245 --> 00:12:13,746
Aw, look.
265
00:12:13,747 --> 00:12:16,015
Us Weekly is calling
Cooper's mystery girl
266
00:12:16,016 --> 00:12:19,450
"an inspiration
to bland women everywhere."
267
00:12:20,854 --> 00:12:22,187
Claire! Claire! Claire!
268
00:12:22,188 --> 00:12:23,322
- Jake! Jake!
- Jake!
269
00:12:23,323 --> 00:12:25,958
Mom, Dad, what-what
are you doing here?
270
00:12:25,959 --> 00:12:27,793
I was making smoothies
for us this morning,
271
00:12:27,794 --> 00:12:31,063
and I realized I didn't
have enough vodka, so...
272
00:12:31,064 --> 00:12:33,299
so I ran out to the store
273
00:12:33,300 --> 00:12:36,302
to get another case, and I see this.
274
00:12:36,303 --> 00:12:38,304
My daughter cheating on her husband
275
00:12:38,305 --> 00:12:40,739
with the singer of my
favorite workout music.
276
00:12:40,740 --> 00:12:42,341
How could you do this?
277
00:12:42,342 --> 00:12:45,843
Claire, you've ruined Zumba for me.
278
00:12:46,947 --> 00:12:49,481
Jake, I hate that this
has happened to you.
279
00:12:49,482 --> 00:12:50,649
Look, you're a good guy, and I think
280
00:12:50,650 --> 00:12:52,952
I speak for both Bonnie
and me when I say
281
00:12:52,953 --> 00:12:54,753
take care and good luck.
282
00:12:54,754 --> 00:12:56,322
Thanks for everything.
283
00:12:56,323 --> 00:12:57,690
Okay, guys, stop.
284
00:12:57,691 --> 00:12:59,491
I am not having an affair with Cooper.
285
00:12:59,492 --> 00:13:02,494
He is Jake's client,
and he is just staying with us.
286
00:13:02,495 --> 00:13:03,896
- Morning, guys.
- Oh!
287
00:13:03,897 --> 00:13:07,232
Hey. H-Hey. Whoa.
288
00:13:07,233 --> 00:13:09,268
Okay.
289
00:13:09,269 --> 00:13:12,271
Cooper, I'm sorry.
These are my parents.
290
00:13:12,272 --> 00:13:14,340
Okay. It's so lovely to meet you.
291
00:13:14,341 --> 00:13:17,443
Oh. Oh, that's... oh. Ha! Ho, ho!
292
00:13:17,444 --> 00:13:19,845
How about one in the middle?
Balance it out.
293
00:13:19,846 --> 00:13:22,081
Hey, why don't we park
ourselves in the living room
294
00:13:22,082 --> 00:13:23,949
and get to know each other
over a glass of lemonade?
295
00:13:23,950 --> 00:13:26,752
No. This our home. You can't
just loiter here all day.
296
00:13:26,753 --> 00:13:28,654
Ooh!
297
00:13:28,655 --> 00:13:30,823
Now, who has a lemon?
298
00:13:30,824 --> 00:13:32,891
All right, I know you guys
are doctors and everything,
299
00:13:32,892 --> 00:13:34,893
but is it possible that
you're drinking too much?
300
00:13:38,832 --> 00:13:41,667
Jake, everyone knows
that you can't be an alcoholic
301
00:13:41,668 --> 00:13:42,901
if you're retired.
302
00:13:42,902 --> 00:13:44,002
Oh.
303
00:13:45,939 --> 00:13:48,507
Oh. Jake.
304
00:13:48,508 --> 00:13:50,509
I am tired and hungover,
305
00:13:50,510 --> 00:13:54,079
and I am currently the most
famous cougar on the planet.
306
00:13:54,080 --> 00:13:57,616
And now my parents are going
to never stop coming over.
307
00:13:57,617 --> 00:13:59,051
Yeah, you're right. This is too much.
308
00:13:59,052 --> 00:14:01,452
We have to find a way
to get Cooper out of our house.
309
00:14:08,998 --> 00:14:11,829
Hey, congratulations, Jake.
310
00:14:11,830 --> 00:14:13,539
If you're gonna get cheated
on, at least it's with
311
00:14:13,540 --> 00:14:15,208
a celebrity you can brag about.
312
00:14:15,209 --> 00:14:17,343
How may I help you, Wayne?
313
00:14:17,344 --> 00:14:20,179
I booked Cooper and Sierra
a lucrative photo spread
314
00:14:20,180 --> 00:14:21,814
in Liquid Magazine.
315
00:14:21,815 --> 00:14:24,417
Sierra loves the idea, but
Cooper's not answering my calls.
316
00:14:24,418 --> 00:14:26,486
I'm his manager, Jake.
He should be taking my calls.
317
00:14:26,487 --> 00:14:28,721
Well, yeah, but I think
he's trying to, you know,
318
00:14:28,722 --> 00:14:30,657
take a break from all
that craziness, you know?
319
00:14:30,658 --> 00:14:33,559
Sure. But I'm just gonna text
you Sierra's number
320
00:14:33,560 --> 00:14:34,994
while you think about this.
321
00:14:34,995 --> 00:14:36,863
As soon as he moves back in with her,
322
00:14:36,864 --> 00:14:39,532
you'll get your house back
to start repairing things
323
00:14:39,533 --> 00:14:41,334
with the lady Us Weekly is calling
324
00:14:41,335 --> 00:14:44,803
"the hottest regular woman
in greater Encino."
325
00:14:53,147 --> 00:14:55,080
Oh, who could that be?
326
00:14:58,352 --> 00:15:01,219
Sierra Quinn. What a surprise.
327
00:15:02,289 --> 00:15:04,490
You must be Jake and Chloe.
328
00:15:04,491 --> 00:15:06,225
Well, uh, my name's Claire.
329
00:15:06,226 --> 00:15:07,794
Pass.
330
00:15:07,795 --> 00:15:10,697
Sierra, what-what are you doing here?
331
00:15:10,698 --> 00:15:12,198
I just came to say
332
00:15:12,199 --> 00:15:14,366
that I'm willing to let
pylons be pylons.
333
00:15:15,803 --> 00:15:17,870
We're too big a brand
to let some old lady
334
00:15:17,871 --> 00:15:19,505
with her original teeth
come between us.
335
00:15:19,506 --> 00:15:21,507
No offense, Corky.
336
00:15:21,508 --> 00:15:24,677
That's not even close to "Claire."
337
00:15:24,678 --> 00:15:27,880
I don't know, every time we
have the smallest argument,
338
00:15:27,881 --> 00:15:29,148
you get so dramatic.
339
00:15:29,149 --> 00:15:32,484
You saying that makes me
want to kill myself.
340
00:15:33,487 --> 00:15:35,555
Jake, are we sure that
this is a good idea?
341
00:15:35,556 --> 00:15:38,558
'Cause this girl seems
pretty... horrendous.
342
00:15:38,559 --> 00:15:40,493
No...
343
00:15:40,494 --> 00:15:42,528
It's just that these two
have taught me that passion
344
00:15:42,529 --> 00:15:44,789
doesn't have to be the driving
force in a relationship.
345
00:15:46,467 --> 00:15:49,869
Sometimes it's better to have a
pal that you can sleep next to,
346
00:15:49,870 --> 00:15:51,604
like two old friends
sharing a hotel room
347
00:15:51,605 --> 00:15:52,972
that accidentally came with one bed.
348
00:15:52,973 --> 00:15:54,440
- Nah.
- Okay!
349
00:15:54,441 --> 00:15:55,842
Obviously,
350
00:15:55,843 --> 00:15:58,144
you two have some stuff to figure out,
351
00:15:58,145 --> 00:16:01,646
but it would be a shame to
give up on something this good.
352
00:16:02,816 --> 00:16:04,716
That old lady does have a point.
353
00:16:05,886 --> 00:16:07,720
That's nice, but...
354
00:16:07,721 --> 00:16:09,989
I'm kind of enjoying my life here.
355
00:16:09,990 --> 00:16:13,059
Yeah, I-I'm sure, but obviously
this can't be permanent.
356
00:16:13,060 --> 00:16:15,595
You know, I mean,
you're way too young and cool
357
00:16:15,596 --> 00:16:17,764
to be sitting around
on a couch eating popcorn
358
00:16:17,765 --> 00:16:19,198
with some lame married couple.
359
00:16:21,602 --> 00:16:24,103
- That's us.
- Yeah.
360
00:16:24,104 --> 00:16:25,872
Yeah, y-you're probably right.
361
00:16:25,873 --> 00:16:29,475
Um, I guess we can
give it another try.
362
00:16:29,476 --> 00:16:33,378
Oh, my God! I am over the
moose with excitement.
363
00:16:36,950 --> 00:16:38,484
I guess I'll see you
next tax season, then.
364
00:16:38,485 --> 00:16:39,885
Hey, you can account on that.
365
00:16:42,055 --> 00:16:44,857
Bye, Cooper. You know, it's been fun.
366
00:16:44,858 --> 00:16:46,159
Oh, you know what,
367
00:16:46,160 --> 00:16:48,528
you take these Toaster Strudel
for the road, okay?
368
00:16:48,529 --> 00:16:50,530
- Yeah. Yeah.
- Cool. All right.
369
00:16:50,531 --> 00:16:53,531
Uh, hey, uh, thanks for everything.
370
00:16:54,968 --> 00:16:57,336
It was so nice to meet you, Jake.
371
00:16:57,337 --> 00:16:58,870
Bye, Clug.
372
00:17:00,607 --> 00:17:03,608
Clug? That's not even a name!
373
00:17:07,481 --> 00:17:10,016
Cheers. To having our house back.
374
00:17:10,017 --> 00:17:11,350
It's been a week since Cooper left.
375
00:17:11,351 --> 00:17:13,352
Do you think our boy's doing okay?
376
00:17:13,353 --> 00:17:14,854
Cooper is a human dolphin.
377
00:17:14,855 --> 00:17:16,322
He's happy everywhere.
378
00:17:16,323 --> 00:17:19,592
That's true. It was pretty fun
having him here, though.
379
00:17:19,593 --> 00:17:23,129
And it had been forever
since we'd gone out dancing.
380
00:17:23,130 --> 00:17:26,799
Oh, what is going on in here?
381
00:17:26,800 --> 00:17:28,768
Jake, Claire!
382
00:17:28,769 --> 00:17:29,869
Oh, damn, Jake!
383
00:17:29,870 --> 00:17:31,838
How could you two be getting it on
384
00:17:31,839 --> 00:17:33,339
at a time like this?
385
00:17:33,340 --> 00:17:36,642
You two, you kicked that
sweet boy out of your home,
386
00:17:36,643 --> 00:17:39,846
and I want you to see
just how sad you've made him.
387
00:17:39,847 --> 00:17:41,414
Cooper, Sierra.
388
00:17:41,415 --> 00:17:43,349
Are you excited
to be back together?
389
00:17:43,350 --> 00:17:44,350
Well, we...
390
00:17:44,351 --> 00:17:45,985
I'll tell you what
I told Cooper earlier.
391
00:17:45,986 --> 00:17:47,787
He's very happy.
392
00:17:47,788 --> 00:17:50,590
Wow, I don't think I've ever
seen Cooper not smiling.
393
00:17:50,591 --> 00:17:51,991
He's miserable.
394
00:17:51,992 --> 00:17:53,860
And do you see what restaurant
he's coming out of?
395
00:17:53,861 --> 00:17:56,028
Oh, my God.
396
00:17:56,029 --> 00:17:58,197
Is that Le Jardin Bleu?
397
00:17:58,198 --> 00:18:00,867
No way. He told me he was gonna go,
398
00:18:00,868 --> 00:18:02,768
but I thought he was just saying that.
399
00:18:02,769 --> 00:18:05,204
Turns out he's just a sweet guy.
400
00:18:05,205 --> 00:18:07,840
I mean, it's nice and all,
but this is the life
401
00:18:07,841 --> 00:18:09,976
- he's supposed to be leading.
- Ugh.
402
00:18:09,977 --> 00:18:11,510
We never should have
sent him back to her.
403
00:18:11,511 --> 00:18:12,778
Yeah, right, but...
404
00:18:12,779 --> 00:18:14,680
what's the alternative,
have him come live with us?
405
00:18:14,681 --> 00:18:17,149
I don't know, I mean, he needs
someone looking out for him,
406
00:18:17,150 --> 00:18:18,818
and he sure as heck isn't getting it
407
00:18:18,819 --> 00:18:20,185
from anyone else in his life.
408
00:18:21,421 --> 00:18:23,956
You're right.
409
00:18:23,957 --> 00:18:26,125
Come on, Claire, let's go get our boy.
410
00:18:26,126 --> 00:18:27,894
- Oh, yay.
- Yes.
411
00:18:31,665 --> 00:18:33,532
Oh, man, this is so good, man.
412
00:18:33,533 --> 00:18:35,635
Ouais. Ouais.
413
00:18:35,636 --> 00:18:37,203
C'est très magnifique.
414
00:18:37,204 --> 00:18:38,537
C'est très magnifique, Cooper.
415
00:18:38,538 --> 00:18:40,873
How much longer are we thinking?
416
00:18:40,874 --> 00:18:42,941
I can feel my heartbeat in my face.
417
00:18:45,445 --> 00:18:48,214
What on earth is going on in here?
418
00:18:48,215 --> 00:18:49,215
Hey, guys.
419
00:18:49,216 --> 00:18:51,384
Uh, hey, uh, Cooper.
420
00:18:51,385 --> 00:18:53,552
We need... we need to talk to you.
421
00:18:53,553 --> 00:18:55,387
Ugh. Clug.
422
00:18:56,423 --> 00:18:58,157
Let's take a five.
423
00:18:58,158 --> 00:19:00,092
Let's go.
424
00:19:00,093 --> 00:19:01,494
So good to see you guys.
425
00:19:01,495 --> 00:19:06,198
Wait, it is you guys, right?
I-I'm starting to hallucinate.
426
00:19:06,199 --> 00:19:09,368
Uh, can somebody get him
down from there, please?
427
00:19:09,369 --> 00:19:12,338
Um, so, Cooper,
428
00:19:12,339 --> 00:19:14,106
we've been thinking that...
that maybe you were
429
00:19:14,107 --> 00:19:16,275
a little too hasty
in leaving our house.
430
00:19:16,276 --> 00:19:19,045
And I know we just started
getting to know you,
431
00:19:19,046 --> 00:19:20,513
but I feel like it's long enough
432
00:19:20,514 --> 00:19:22,715
to know that all th... all this
433
00:19:22,716 --> 00:19:25,451
just, uh... just isn't you, man.
434
00:19:25,452 --> 00:19:29,155
Yeah, and-and even though
we said it would be weird
435
00:19:29,156 --> 00:19:32,191
for you to live with a lame
married couple like us...
436
00:19:32,192 --> 00:19:33,492
We do think you belong in a place
437
00:19:33,493 --> 00:19:36,262
where you could be an ordinary guy
438
00:19:36,263 --> 00:19:39,465
living an ordinary life
with two ordinary people
439
00:19:39,466 --> 00:19:40,833
that really care about you.
440
00:19:40,834 --> 00:19:42,902
Um, who unhooked you?
441
00:19:42,903 --> 00:19:44,769
We're not done here.
442
00:19:45,706 --> 00:19:47,540
Yeah, I-I think we are.
443
00:19:47,541 --> 00:19:50,276
Look, Sierra,
you're incredible, but...
444
00:19:50,277 --> 00:19:51,844
being around Jake
and Claire this week,
445
00:19:51,845 --> 00:19:54,714
it's made me want something different.
446
00:19:54,715 --> 00:19:56,983
So does that mean you're gonna
come live with us for a bit?
447
00:19:56,984 --> 00:19:59,285
Yeah. Yeah, I am.
448
00:19:59,286 --> 00:20:01,253
All right!
449
00:20:01,254 --> 00:20:03,589
I can't believe
you're doing this to me.
450
00:20:03,590 --> 00:20:06,524
Alexa, play breakup mix.
451
00:20:15,435 --> 00:20:16,936
Is there anything else I can...
452
00:20:16,937 --> 00:20:19,037
That'll be all, Alexa.
453
00:20:21,608 --> 00:20:23,175
Let's get you home, buddy.
454
00:20:23,176 --> 00:20:24,995
You want to grab some clothes?
455
00:20:24,995 --> 00:20:26,979
- Ah, I look better in your stuff anyway.
- Oh.
456
00:20:26,980 --> 00:20:28,781
Oh. Okay, bye, Alexa.
457
00:20:28,782 --> 00:20:30,381
My name is Suzanne.
458
00:20:35,895 --> 00:20:38,299
All right. Saturday night.
459
00:20:38,300 --> 00:20:39,767
- Should we do this?
- Yes.
460
00:20:39,768 --> 00:20:41,836
Okay, so I was thinking
we'd try a little
461
00:20:41,837 --> 00:20:43,271
Garth Brooks country.
462
00:20:43,272 --> 00:20:44,606
Okay. Easy.
463
00:20:44,607 --> 00:20:46,007
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
464
00:20:46,008 --> 00:20:47,808
Okay.
465
00:20:49,511 --> 00:20:53,748
♪ Oh, we get calls from
all kinds of places ♪
466
00:20:53,749 --> 00:20:55,583
♪ Keep your message short ♪
467
00:20:55,584 --> 00:20:57,852
♪ We'll get back to you ♪
468
00:20:57,853 --> 00:21:00,622
♪ Oh, we get calls ♪
469
00:21:00,623 --> 00:21:04,259
♪ From all kinds of places. ♪
470
00:21:04,260 --> 00:21:05,793
Hey, girl.
471
00:21:05,794 --> 00:21:09,831
Sorry I missed the buttery tones
of your sweet, sweet voice,
472
00:21:09,832 --> 00:21:14,135
but, uh, please leave a message,
and we'll get back.
473
00:21:14,136 --> 00:21:16,204
A'ight?
474
00:21:16,205 --> 00:21:18,772
Bye!
475
00:21:19,757 --> 00:21:25,857
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