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1
00:00:02,960 --> 00:00:04,800
You got a baby coming.
2
00:00:04,880 --> 00:00:06,200
A car seat just won't fit.
3
00:00:06,220 --> 00:00:08,280
We tried it on the turnpike
with a watermelon.
4
00:00:08,410 --> 00:00:11,600
If it's okay, Lou, I'd like a
few moments alone with her.
5
00:00:18,540 --> 00:00:20,520
That's a 30-footer.
6
00:00:20,560 --> 00:00:21,800
35.
7
00:00:21,880 --> 00:00:23,670
Calvin, General Manager
8
00:00:23,680 --> 00:00:25,140
of Kareem Abdul-Jabbar Motors.
9
00:00:25,300 --> 00:00:27,290
Oh, I get it.
10
00:00:27,300 --> 00:00:28,490
Like the NBA legend.
11
00:00:28,500 --> 00:00:30,840
You guys are just copying
Shaq Motors across town.
12
00:00:30,880 --> 00:00:33,040
No, no. He's copying me.
13
00:00:34,740 --> 00:00:36,240
Always has.
14
00:00:36,700 --> 00:00:39,560
I'm a Laker center. He's a Laker center.
15
00:00:39,700 --> 00:00:42,480
I buy a car lot. He buys a car lot.
16
00:00:43,260 --> 00:00:45,020
I star in a movie.
17
00:00:45,320 --> 00:00:48,440
He stars in... "Shazam."
18
00:00:48,540 --> 00:00:49,720
It was "Kazaam."
19
00:00:49,760 --> 00:00:51,300
I got this, Melvin.
20
00:00:51,480 --> 00:00:52,740
It's Calvin.
21
00:00:52,820 --> 00:00:54,416
Kareem, I didn't know
you owned a car lot.
22
00:00:54,440 --> 00:00:55,960
I come down here every so often
23
00:00:55,970 --> 00:00:57,356
to make sure things are going right.
24
00:00:57,380 --> 00:00:58,870
Oh, yeah. It's a real morale boost
25
00:00:58,880 --> 00:01:01,880
for those that work here
the other 360 days a year.
26
00:01:02,000 --> 00:01:03,490
Morale was boosted pretty high
27
00:01:03,500 --> 00:01:05,160
when I dropped those 50 skyhooks
28
00:01:05,220 --> 00:01:07,400
on your co-ed recreation-league game.
29
00:01:07,540 --> 00:01:09,440
Still didn't play no defense.
30
00:01:09,700 --> 00:01:11,620
So, you interested in this RV?
31
00:01:11,640 --> 00:01:13,320
Oh. Oh, no. I'm just, uh,
32
00:01:13,340 --> 00:01:14,880
helping my friend trade in his car.
33
00:01:15,980 --> 00:01:18,340
Long may you run, Cherry.
34
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Long may you run.
35
00:01:23,900 --> 00:01:26,930
Well, look, why don't we
just go for a test drive?
36
00:01:26,960 --> 00:01:30,090
I don't know.
37
00:01:33,020 --> 00:01:34,340
All the comforts of home,
38
00:01:34,460 --> 00:01:37,100
except your address is Adventure, USA.
39
00:01:37,300 --> 00:01:40,140
I have always wanted to take the
family out on the pavement,
40
00:01:40,220 --> 00:01:42,480
road-trip it like one of
those families on TV.
41
00:01:42,620 --> 00:01:44,300
Close your eyes, Louis.
42
00:01:44,640 --> 00:01:47,620
Turn the keys. Embark.
43
00:02:28,040 --> 00:02:30,980
The Huangs across America.
44
00:02:31,320 --> 00:02:33,940
So, cash? Or how does this work?
45
00:02:33,990 --> 00:02:35,120
Louis!
46
00:02:35,180 --> 00:02:37,460
Honey's in labor! Sh... Hey.
47
00:02:37,600 --> 00:02:39,720
The co-pilot from "Airplane."
48
00:02:39,860 --> 00:02:41,700
C-Come on! We gotta go!
49
00:02:43,600 --> 00:02:45,800
This close to a sale.
50
00:02:57,100 --> 00:03:01,300
- Synced & corrected by MementMori -
-- www.addic7ed.com --
51
00:03:04,640 --> 00:03:05,770
Can you believe it?
52
00:03:05,780 --> 00:03:07,780
Our baby boy came out a girl.
53
00:03:07,860 --> 00:03:09,540
What a show.
54
00:03:09,640 --> 00:03:10,660
It doesn't happen much,
55
00:03:10,680 --> 00:03:12,720
but the technician misread the sonogram.
56
00:03:12,780 --> 00:03:14,246
And what we thought was his deedle-doo
57
00:03:14,270 --> 00:03:16,070
was actually a thing-a-ma-which.
58
00:03:16,100 --> 00:03:17,300
- Umbilical cord.
- Yeah.
59
00:03:17,320 --> 00:03:19,520
So, now we need a girl's name.
60
00:03:19,620 --> 00:03:21,510
Did you already have a
boy name picked out?
61
00:03:21,580 --> 00:03:23,900
Well, Marvin insisted
on a nautical theme,
62
00:03:23,920 --> 00:03:26,840
so we were down to two... Jonah and...
63
00:03:26,880 --> 00:03:27,910
Ishmael.
64
00:03:27,950 --> 00:03:29,340
So a happy miracle, indeed.
65
00:03:29,380 --> 00:03:32,380
And just think, your
baby's due tomorrow.
66
00:03:33,020 --> 00:03:35,350
Your book... "A Case of
a Knife to the Brain."
67
00:03:35,390 --> 00:03:37,390
Oh, gosh.
68
00:03:37,400 --> 00:03:38,940
Already? I almost forgot.
69
00:03:38,980 --> 00:03:41,660
You did send birth announcements
to the entire HOA.
70
00:03:41,700 --> 00:03:43,800
Oh, that was a joke.
71
00:03:43,820 --> 00:03:46,740
Of course I don't think my
book is an actual baby...
72
00:03:47,140 --> 00:03:49,480
though I did spend more
than nine months on it.
73
00:03:49,500 --> 00:03:51,300
What did you mean by "deedle-doo"?
74
00:03:54,810 --> 00:03:56,340
So, about your baby sister...
75
00:03:56,380 --> 00:03:58,840
No, we're not naming her "Jamiroquai."
76
00:03:58,880 --> 00:04:00,780
Alright. We'll circle
back to this in a week
77
00:04:00,800 --> 00:04:01,976
when you're not so close to it.
78
00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:04,020
Yeah, about that.
79
00:04:04,060 --> 00:04:05,720
We need to have a talk.
80
00:04:06,100 --> 00:04:07,540
A Saturn talk.
81
00:04:07,820 --> 00:04:09,160
Whoa.
82
00:04:10,920 --> 00:04:12,360
Saturn secure.
83
00:04:12,400 --> 00:04:14,300
What happens in here stays in here.
84
00:04:14,390 --> 00:04:15,430
Shoot.
85
00:04:16,920 --> 00:04:18,310
I'm moving to New York with my mom,
86
00:04:18,320 --> 00:04:19,930
and I got into this school
that teaches fashion,
87
00:04:19,940 --> 00:04:21,670
and I don't think I can pass it up.
88
00:04:23,300 --> 00:04:25,780
Sorry. I know this sucks.
89
00:04:26,380 --> 00:04:28,470
That's...
90
00:04:28,510 --> 00:04:29,760
awesome!
91
00:04:29,800 --> 00:04:32,320
- It is?
- Totally! New York City?
92
00:04:32,380 --> 00:04:33,790
You can chill out in the park,
93
00:04:33,800 --> 00:04:35,370
order pizzas at 3:00 a.m.,
94
00:04:35,380 --> 00:04:37,560
and Beastie Boys songs will
make a lot more sense now.
95
00:04:37,660 --> 00:04:39,280
Why is there no sleep till Brooklyn?
96
00:04:39,340 --> 00:04:41,000
Well, you're about to find out.
97
00:04:41,020 --> 00:04:42,820
Wow. I thought this talk
98
00:04:42,830 --> 00:04:44,120
was gonna be a whole lot tougher.
99
00:04:44,140 --> 00:04:46,920
Please. You know me
better than that. What?
100
00:04:46,980 --> 00:04:49,190
Did you think I was gonna
start crying or something?
101
00:04:54,700 --> 00:04:56,900
♪ Happy Book Day to you ♪
102
00:04:56,940 --> 00:04:58,700
♪ Happy Book Day to you ♪
103
00:04:58,740 --> 00:04:59,750
♪ Happy... ♪
104
00:04:59,780 --> 00:05:01,360
I have a reading for my novel today,
105
00:05:01,380 --> 00:05:03,500
and I need to decide on a passage.
106
00:05:04,780 --> 00:05:08,200
"Snap! And suddenly the
only sound was the rope,
107
00:05:08,240 --> 00:05:09,810
creaking under his weight
108
00:05:09,820 --> 00:05:11,820
and the fading pendulum scrape
109
00:05:11,880 --> 00:05:15,520
of his steel-toe boots
against the hickory planks."
110
00:05:15,550 --> 00:05:16,550
Powerful.
111
00:05:16,620 --> 00:05:18,030
Do you like that passage
112
00:05:18,040 --> 00:05:20,800
or the one where they find
the paperboy's bloody bike?
113
00:05:20,860 --> 00:05:23,300
Hmm, tough call. They're both great.
114
00:05:23,320 --> 00:05:24,360
Uh, where is this reading?
115
00:05:24,400 --> 00:05:25,420
The bookstore.
116
00:05:25,450 --> 00:05:27,720
My publisher thinks it
might help boost sales,
117
00:05:27,740 --> 00:05:29,530
which could lead to TV spots,
118
00:05:29,540 --> 00:05:31,760
a book tour... maybe even Oprah.
119
00:05:31,800 --> 00:05:33,500
The Big "O."
120
00:05:33,700 --> 00:05:35,790
I-I mean, "big" like a star.
121
00:05:35,900 --> 00:05:37,340
She actually looks great now.
122
00:05:37,360 --> 00:05:39,340
And she did before, too.
123
00:05:39,520 --> 00:05:41,300
Um, this is great.
124
00:05:41,340 --> 00:05:43,356
Uh, I'll get the boys, and
we'll all go to the reading.
125
00:05:43,380 --> 00:05:44,780
But it's my job.
126
00:05:44,900 --> 00:05:47,080
I don't go to the restaurant
and stare at you.
127
00:05:47,100 --> 00:05:48,120
Remember?
128
00:05:48,140 --> 00:05:50,056
We found that it didn't
improve your productivity.
129
00:05:50,080 --> 00:05:52,420
But this is your big day, and
it'll be good for the boys.
130
00:05:52,480 --> 00:05:54,290
They learn by watching
us, and they should see
131
00:05:54,300 --> 00:05:55,480
how your hard work pays off.
132
00:05:55,660 --> 00:05:58,620
You would just be taking up
space from actual book-buyers.
133
00:05:58,740 --> 00:06:00,780
Plus, if I want to read
the graphic sex scenes,
134
00:06:00,800 --> 00:06:03,470
I need to feel comfortable
doing all the sound effects.
135
00:06:07,220 --> 00:06:08,820
_
136
00:06:08,840 --> 00:06:10,800
"So You Wanna Be a Psychiatrist"?
137
00:06:10,980 --> 00:06:13,140
You know how I plan to
become Doctor President.
138
00:06:13,200 --> 00:06:14,820
Well, I always assumed I'd be a surgeon.
139
00:06:14,850 --> 00:06:16,010
The respect...
140
00:06:16,050 --> 00:06:17,500
The mastery of fine motor skills...
141
00:06:17,560 --> 00:06:18,980
The ladies.
142
00:06:19,120 --> 00:06:21,380
But after spending three
hours in the hospital
143
00:06:21,400 --> 00:06:22,750
visiting Honey's baby,
144
00:06:22,890 --> 00:06:24,200
I don't think I can stand the smell.
145
00:06:24,220 --> 00:06:25,790
Can you mail a hot dog?
146
00:06:26,790 --> 00:06:28,250
I'm making a list of stuff I want Nicole
147
00:06:28,260 --> 00:06:29,580
to send me from New York...
148
00:06:29,660 --> 00:06:31,000
a Statue of Liberty lighter,
149
00:06:31,120 --> 00:06:33,280
whatever a knish is, a bullet.
150
00:06:33,400 --> 00:06:35,440
Any ideas for her going-away gift?
151
00:06:35,500 --> 00:06:36,890
I'm always game to power-browse
152
00:06:36,900 --> 00:06:38,310
Things Remembered at the mall.
153
00:06:38,320 --> 00:06:39,560
Why would I get her a gift?
154
00:06:39,740 --> 00:06:41,400
Because she's your friend.
155
00:06:41,540 --> 00:06:42,920
I have tons of friends.
156
00:06:43,040 --> 00:06:44,190
I'm not trying to dole out prizes
157
00:06:44,210 --> 00:06:45,510
every time one of them skips town.
158
00:06:45,520 --> 00:06:47,040
But Nicole is different.
159
00:06:47,080 --> 00:06:48,750
Oh, because she's a chick?
160
00:06:48,880 --> 00:06:50,180
That's sexist, homey.
161
00:06:50,200 --> 00:06:52,850
No, I mean, you two are so close.
162
00:06:52,890 --> 00:06:54,100
Aren't you sad she's moving?
163
00:06:54,320 --> 00:06:55,660
Sad? Pfft.
164
00:06:55,700 --> 00:06:56,940
She's only leaving for school,
165
00:06:56,980 --> 00:06:59,160
and she'll be back on
the holidays and stuff.
166
00:06:59,280 --> 00:07:01,790
Guys, it's not a big deal.
167
00:07:03,040 --> 00:07:05,100
"The lady doth protest
too much, methinks."
168
00:07:05,230 --> 00:07:08,220
Uh, can we stay on Eddie for a second?
169
00:07:08,400 --> 00:07:10,681
I think he's pretending he
doesn't care Nicole is leaving.
170
00:07:10,770 --> 00:07:11,900
Yeah, that's what I...
171
00:07:11,940 --> 00:07:14,540
He's in denial. I read
about this in my book.
172
00:07:14,770 --> 00:07:17,260
He needs to admit he's sad
and talk about his feelings.
173
00:07:17,320 --> 00:07:19,220
Or he might dissociate completely
174
00:07:19,280 --> 00:07:20,780
and chop us all up in our sleep.
175
00:07:20,840 --> 00:07:23,840
That's an extreme example in
here, but it does happen.
176
00:07:24,020 --> 00:07:26,820
Boys, get ready. We're gonna
surprise Mom at her reading.
177
00:07:28,220 --> 00:07:29,460
We're going to the bookstore.
178
00:07:29,490 --> 00:07:31,740
- Hallelujah!
- Get ready to feast, brain!
179
00:07:34,720 --> 00:07:36,090
Wow, look at this line.
180
00:07:36,130 --> 00:07:37,740
It's like Mommy is Space Mountain.
181
00:07:37,900 --> 00:07:41,020
Sorry. We're not letting
anyone else in today.
182
00:07:41,300 --> 00:07:42,680
Fire code.
183
00:07:42,740 --> 00:07:44,600
We'll have plenty of books tomorrow.
184
00:07:45,680 --> 00:07:47,110
You know what? That's fine.
185
00:07:47,120 --> 00:07:48,540
She's doing it, boys.
186
00:07:48,620 --> 00:07:50,700
We'll just surprise her back home.
187
00:07:50,940 --> 00:07:52,960
You made me put on my dress shorts.
188
00:08:07,660 --> 00:08:10,040
I'm a failure.
189
00:08:18,720 --> 00:08:20,620
Hey, Jessica.
190
00:08:21,340 --> 00:08:22,900
We know what happened at the reading.
191
00:08:23,040 --> 00:08:24,240
You do?
192
00:08:24,370 --> 00:08:26,100
We went there to surprise you.
193
00:08:26,180 --> 00:08:28,940
Look, it isn't easy to say, but I...
194
00:08:29,040 --> 00:08:31,470
Absolutely killed it!
195
00:08:31,500 --> 00:08:33,360
It was so crowded we
couldn't even get in.
196
00:08:33,450 --> 00:08:36,280
We were so excited, we made you...
197
00:08:36,320 --> 00:08:39,190
A case of a knife to the brain.
198
00:08:39,420 --> 00:08:40,540
Cake!
199
00:08:40,650 --> 00:08:42,500
A cake of a knife to the brain!
200
00:08:42,520 --> 00:08:44,100
One line, Ma.
201
00:08:47,130 --> 00:08:48,520
Well, tell us all about it.
202
00:08:52,880 --> 00:08:55,020
What can I say? The book is a hit.
203
00:08:55,100 --> 00:08:56,980
- Alright!
- Yes, Mom!
204
00:08:57,060 --> 00:08:58,300
But it's not a big deal.
205
00:08:58,410 --> 00:09:00,260
You're right. It is a very big deal.
206
00:09:00,470 --> 00:09:01,670
Boys, your mother's hard work
207
00:09:01,680 --> 00:09:03,130
has led to this great success.
208
00:09:03,240 --> 00:09:05,960
How big a hit are we
talking? Are we rich?
209
00:09:06,050 --> 00:09:07,180
Can we get a pet puma?!
210
00:09:07,310 --> 00:09:08,440
Let's just say the store
211
00:09:08,480 --> 00:09:11,280
has never sold as many
copies on a first day.
212
00:09:11,320 --> 00:09:14,290
So, a-a book tour? TV interviews?
213
00:09:14,520 --> 00:09:16,740
Oh, my God. Is Regis on the table?
214
00:09:16,780 --> 00:09:18,120
I don't want to jinx it,
215
00:09:18,140 --> 00:09:20,440
so just don't go crazy spending money.
216
00:09:20,520 --> 00:09:23,350
Yeah, nobody "MC Hammer" this thing.
217
00:09:26,060 --> 00:09:28,180
The river on the east
side is the East River,
218
00:09:28,200 --> 00:09:30,670
but the river on the west is the Hudson?
219
00:09:30,910 --> 00:09:32,160
Good luck, Nicole.
220
00:09:32,370 --> 00:09:34,080
At least he's thinking about her.
221
00:09:34,160 --> 00:09:35,220
That's good, right?
222
00:09:35,460 --> 00:09:37,780
I'm afraid not. It's
classic sublimation.
223
00:09:37,860 --> 00:09:40,080
His denial has turned into productivity.
224
00:09:40,210 --> 00:09:41,920
He's losing his sense of self.
225
00:09:42,150 --> 00:09:43,980
When has Eddie ever
researched for pleasure?
226
00:09:44,020 --> 00:09:45,140
My God.
227
00:09:45,250 --> 00:09:47,020
He needs to face his feelings soon,
228
00:09:47,150 --> 00:09:48,390
or when it finally hits him,
229
00:09:48,400 --> 00:09:50,010
he'll lash out at someone.
230
00:09:50,220 --> 00:09:51,660
Chop. Chop.
231
00:09:53,700 --> 00:09:55,540
Hey, dawg.
232
00:09:56,140 --> 00:09:58,530
Evan and I were just
talking about Nicole.
233
00:09:58,570 --> 00:10:00,570
Your best friend who's moving away.
234
00:10:00,700 --> 00:10:02,920
You two sure have had some
great times together.
235
00:10:03,000 --> 00:10:04,220
Mm.
236
00:10:28,600 --> 00:10:31,440
Yeah, we have had some great times.
237
00:10:31,660 --> 00:10:33,240
Thanks for reminding me, guys.
238
00:10:33,540 --> 00:10:35,090
There's so much stuff I have to get out
239
00:10:35,100 --> 00:10:36,390
of her car before she goes...
240
00:10:36,500 --> 00:10:38,660
my CD Player, Bootyman hat,
241
00:10:38,720 --> 00:10:40,440
drive-thru window gorilla mask.
242
00:10:40,780 --> 00:10:43,660
For our door... padlock or dead bolt?
243
00:10:47,140 --> 00:10:50,360
Louis! What did I tell you
about spending money?
244
00:10:50,480 --> 00:10:53,300
There isn't even enough room
in the pantry for all of this.
245
00:10:53,450 --> 00:10:56,260
True. But there is room...
246
00:10:56,390 --> 00:10:57,890
in here.
247
00:11:00,580 --> 00:11:03,640
What... is... this?
248
00:11:03,800 --> 00:11:06,860
It's a 1998 NationWheeler with
all the bells and whistles.
249
00:11:07,040 --> 00:11:08,060
Why is this?
250
00:11:08,100 --> 00:11:10,540
Now we can all go on your
book tour as a family.
251
00:11:10,660 --> 00:11:12,470
Finally take that road
trip across America
252
00:11:12,480 --> 00:11:13,670
we've always talked about.
253
00:11:13,780 --> 00:11:15,110
We can see the Heartland.
254
00:11:15,140 --> 00:11:16,256
And the regions of the South
255
00:11:16,280 --> 00:11:18,000
once decimated by the boll weevil.
256
00:11:18,210 --> 00:11:19,960
How much did this house-truck cost?
257
00:11:20,110 --> 00:11:21,620
I knew that would come
up, but don't worry.
258
00:11:21,640 --> 00:11:22,800
It's a business write-off.
259
00:11:24,320 --> 00:11:26,580
_
260
00:11:27,000 --> 00:11:29,000
Now as we drive across the land,
261
00:11:29,020 --> 00:11:32,040
everyone will know best-selling
author Jessica Huang is aboard.
262
00:11:32,260 --> 00:11:34,390
Is that my driver's license photo?
263
00:11:35,500 --> 00:11:38,700
Um, so, what do you say?
Huangs across America?
264
00:11:44,020 --> 00:11:45,140
Sure.
265
00:11:45,210 --> 00:11:47,040
Yeah.
266
00:11:47,740 --> 00:11:49,510
I live here now.
267
00:11:52,640 --> 00:11:55,220
I remember packing for the
big city around your age.
268
00:11:55,340 --> 00:11:56,500
Of course, back then all you needed
269
00:11:56,520 --> 00:11:58,340
was a bar of soap and your wits.
270
00:11:59,260 --> 00:12:00,920
We're gonna miss you, Nicole.
271
00:12:01,160 --> 00:12:02,820
And so will little Maria.
272
00:12:04,320 --> 00:12:07,190
Ah, sounds like Coral's stirring.
273
00:12:07,330 --> 00:12:08,500
I'll go get Coral.
274
00:12:08,520 --> 00:12:10,900
No, no. Stay. I'll get Maria.
275
00:12:12,900 --> 00:12:14,560
Mm!
276
00:12:18,340 --> 00:12:20,640
Hey. Still going to New York, huh?
277
00:12:20,720 --> 00:12:22,820
Yeah. I leave tomorrow at 3:00.
278
00:12:22,960 --> 00:12:24,740
Phew. I thought I missed you.
279
00:12:26,210 --> 00:12:27,940
I left a bunch of crap in the Saturn
280
00:12:27,970 --> 00:12:29,150
and wanted to get it back.
281
00:12:30,550 --> 00:12:33,320
Yeah. Here you go.
282
00:12:33,450 --> 00:12:36,090
Whoa. My old Kris Kross CD!
283
00:12:36,120 --> 00:12:37,680
I was getting the car ready to sell,
284
00:12:37,700 --> 00:12:39,500
and that was stuck to a Frosty lid.
285
00:12:39,620 --> 00:12:41,900
Wait. You're selling the Saturn?
286
00:12:41,930 --> 00:12:43,740
New York's way too expensive for a car.
287
00:12:43,820 --> 00:12:45,800
That's why all the cops ride horses.
288
00:12:45,900 --> 00:12:47,250
I'll take the subway, no big deal.
289
00:12:47,260 --> 00:12:48,430
No big deal?
290
00:12:48,440 --> 00:12:50,330
You're cool with just
dumping the Saturn?
291
00:12:50,440 --> 00:12:52,740
Who cares about all the
good times we had in there?
292
00:12:52,770 --> 00:12:53,870
And our Saturn talks...
293
00:12:53,880 --> 00:12:55,016
I guess those meant nothing to you.
294
00:12:55,040 --> 00:12:56,500
Now you're upset?
295
00:12:56,540 --> 00:12:57,856
You're more worked up about the car
296
00:12:57,880 --> 00:12:59,180
than when I said I was leaving!
297
00:12:59,300 --> 00:13:01,720
Well, to be fair, the car
isn't moving to New York
298
00:13:01,780 --> 00:13:04,180
and totally bailing on me for
the rest of high school!
299
00:13:04,390 --> 00:13:05,790
You know what? Forget it.
300
00:13:06,000 --> 00:13:08,020
Have fun in New York! Peace.
301
00:13:11,230 --> 00:13:14,290
Aren't the Cascades enchanting, family?
302
00:13:15,730 --> 00:13:17,900
No, thank you.
303
00:13:18,830 --> 00:13:21,600
Oh, my God. Is that Bigfoot?
304
00:13:21,740 --> 00:13:23,880
Emery, get the camera!
305
00:13:24,270 --> 00:13:26,070
Set it to burst mode!
306
00:13:26,210 --> 00:13:28,370
Then just bring it here!
307
00:13:30,000 --> 00:13:31,040
Louis?
308
00:13:31,150 --> 00:13:32,540
Oh, hey.
309
00:13:32,710 --> 00:13:35,250
I thought you and I could celebrate
310
00:13:35,380 --> 00:13:36,850
with some champagne.
311
00:13:36,880 --> 00:13:39,450
I just want you to take a second
312
00:13:39,460 --> 00:13:41,460
to really soak it all in.
313
00:13:41,660 --> 00:13:42,670
You did it.
314
00:13:42,990 --> 00:13:44,060
Thanks.
315
00:13:44,190 --> 00:13:45,460
And you deserve some fun,
316
00:13:45,490 --> 00:13:47,560
so tomorrow, I'm buying
his-and-her Jet Skis
317
00:13:47,590 --> 00:13:50,500
so we can zip around Havasu
like a pair of dragonflies.
318
00:13:50,630 --> 00:13:52,480
They're not cheap, but
neither is happiness.
319
00:13:52,900 --> 00:13:54,840
The book is a flop, Louis!
320
00:13:54,940 --> 00:13:56,380
What?
321
00:13:58,060 --> 00:14:01,020
It sold less than 100 copies nationwide.
322
00:14:01,240 --> 00:14:02,880
What about that line at the store?
323
00:14:02,910 --> 00:14:04,750
Everyone was there for
some other book...
324
00:14:04,860 --> 00:14:05,870
"Boy Witch."
325
00:14:05,880 --> 00:14:09,080
Written by a homeless British
teacher of all things.
326
00:14:09,220 --> 00:14:11,080
Then why did you say it was a hit?
327
00:14:11,120 --> 00:14:13,260
Because between you and the cake
328
00:14:13,390 --> 00:14:15,990
and Evan's big saucer
eyes going blink, blink,
329
00:14:16,120 --> 00:14:17,620
I didn't have a choice.
330
00:14:19,290 --> 00:14:21,730
I guess people just weren't
ready for your talent.
331
00:14:21,840 --> 00:14:24,190
But, hey, maybe your
work will be worth more
332
00:14:24,200 --> 00:14:25,540
when you're dead like Monet.
333
00:14:30,240 --> 00:14:32,020
We'll have to cancel the road trip.
334
00:14:32,940 --> 00:14:34,920
But the boys were so excited.
335
00:14:35,140 --> 00:14:37,000
But can't just fake a book tour.
336
00:14:37,610 --> 00:14:39,250
Everything will be fine.
337
00:14:39,280 --> 00:14:41,750
I'll return this tomorrow,
and then when I get back,
338
00:14:41,780 --> 00:14:43,676
we'll tell the boys what
happened with your book.
339
00:14:43,700 --> 00:14:45,540
Okay?
340
00:14:45,650 --> 00:14:47,290
Okay.
341
00:14:51,060 --> 00:14:52,530
Good night, Havasu.
342
00:14:56,160 --> 00:14:57,480
Morning, Ma.
343
00:14:58,000 --> 00:15:00,100
I'm returning the RV, so let me know
344
00:15:00,120 --> 00:15:02,470
if you hid any chewing
tobacco in the seat pockets.
345
00:15:02,480 --> 00:15:07,000
_
346
00:15:07,080 --> 00:15:08,640
What?!
347
00:15:15,900 --> 00:15:17,900
Where's the first stop
on the book tour, Mom?
348
00:15:18,010 --> 00:15:19,410
Uh, Miami.
349
00:15:19,640 --> 00:15:20,840
But we're going north.
350
00:15:20,870 --> 00:15:22,100
It's a shortcut.
351
00:15:22,220 --> 00:15:24,140
Huh. Why couldn't we wait for Dad?
352
00:15:24,180 --> 00:15:25,290
He'll join us later.
353
00:15:25,400 --> 00:15:27,380
There was an emergency
at Cattleman's Ranch.
354
00:15:27,460 --> 00:15:28,620
What happened?!
355
00:15:28,750 --> 00:15:30,320
Hector's earring fell into the chili!
356
00:15:30,350 --> 00:15:32,400
Let Mommy focus on the road, please!
357
00:15:33,800 --> 00:15:35,960
Eddie, I was hoping we
could really dig in
358
00:15:35,970 --> 00:15:37,200
on your childhood today.
359
00:15:37,490 --> 00:15:40,040
Go... away!
360
00:15:41,520 --> 00:15:42,960
We're gonna reschedule.
361
00:15:44,300 --> 00:15:46,880
Hey, uh, is Kareem here?
362
00:15:47,000 --> 00:15:48,700
They always ask for Kareem.
363
00:15:48,740 --> 00:15:50,300
He's showing a customer an RV.
364
00:15:50,440 --> 00:15:53,410
Stupid question, but what
does "RV" stand for?
365
00:15:55,060 --> 00:15:56,400
Oh, sorry, sorry.
366
00:15:56,580 --> 00:15:58,510
Did my wife return an RV this morning?
367
00:15:58,550 --> 00:16:00,380
20-foot ad of an Asian lady on the side?
368
00:16:00,510 --> 00:16:02,700
This morning? No.
369
00:16:02,720 --> 00:16:04,270
Damn it. She took our kids,
370
00:16:04,280 --> 00:16:05,690
and I have no idea where they went.
371
00:16:05,820 --> 00:16:08,340
Well, our RVs come standard with LoJack.
372
00:16:08,540 --> 00:16:10,100
I could get the tracker
and help you find them.
373
00:16:10,120 --> 00:16:11,420
Oh, great.
374
00:16:11,460 --> 00:16:13,860
Uh, you and Kareem, right?
375
00:16:15,120 --> 00:16:16,440
There it is!
376
00:16:18,420 --> 00:16:20,100
Another win for Team Kareem.
377
00:16:20,200 --> 00:16:21,760
Kareem did it.
378
00:16:21,800 --> 00:16:24,240
Not the computer inside the LoJack.
379
00:16:26,770 --> 00:16:28,100
That's not good.
380
00:16:28,260 --> 00:16:30,700
Don't worry. All the
knives are accounted for.
381
00:16:31,760 --> 00:16:33,520
Hey, where's your mom?
382
00:16:33,560 --> 00:16:35,460
Doing a reading at the bookstore.
383
00:16:37,620 --> 00:16:38,860
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar?!
384
00:16:39,060 --> 00:16:40,900
Dude, Nicole is gonna flip.
385
00:16:40,980 --> 00:16:43,610
She has a poster of you
fighting Bruce Lee in her room.
386
00:16:45,560 --> 00:16:48,360
Whoa. An RV is no place to be sad.
387
00:16:48,500 --> 00:16:50,250
My best friend is moving
away, and we got in a fight,
388
00:16:50,260 --> 00:16:52,070
but I'm cool. I'm cool.
389
00:16:52,300 --> 00:16:53,700
A double "I'm cool"?
390
00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:55,940
Let's not gloss over this.
391
00:16:57,640 --> 00:16:59,760
I have three years of high school left,
392
00:16:59,840 --> 00:17:01,970
and she's the only friend
who really gets me,
393
00:17:02,110 --> 00:17:03,140
who speaks Eddie.
394
00:17:03,220 --> 00:17:04,460
I take it you're Eddie?
395
00:17:05,810 --> 00:17:08,450
I get it. It's hard to say goodbye.
396
00:17:08,580 --> 00:17:10,080
But you're making this about you.
397
00:17:10,100 --> 00:17:12,250
You got to realize that
it's hard on her, too.
398
00:17:12,390 --> 00:17:14,460
Why? She's the one leaving me.
399
00:17:14,640 --> 00:17:17,180
Look, I'm at my car
lot five days a year.
400
00:17:17,460 --> 00:17:20,360
When I leave, my
employees are super sad,
401
00:17:20,440 --> 00:17:21,510
but they're not seeing things
402
00:17:21,520 --> 00:17:23,520
from where I stand at 7'2".
403
00:17:23,600 --> 00:17:26,010
I have to leave my best
friends, K... Ke...
404
00:17:26,220 --> 00:17:28,020
Kevin, all of them.
405
00:17:28,170 --> 00:17:29,640
I didn't even think about that.
406
00:17:29,770 --> 00:17:31,820
Don't let your best friend leave
407
00:17:31,860 --> 00:17:34,170
without knowing she's your best friend.
408
00:17:34,280 --> 00:17:37,010
I get it, Kareem. Thanks.
409
00:17:37,860 --> 00:17:40,226
I thought for sure that you were
gonna use a basketball metaphor.
410
00:17:40,250 --> 00:17:42,800
Well, you know, I'm a man
of, uh, many talents.
411
00:17:42,980 --> 00:17:44,920
They used to think they
had me pinned and then...
412
00:17:44,950 --> 00:17:47,080
skyhook.
413
00:17:47,340 --> 00:17:49,900
That's how you break down a wall.
414
00:17:49,940 --> 00:17:52,160
He can fly now?
415
00:17:52,340 --> 00:17:54,160
Guess I should've given Jennifer Hong
416
00:17:54,180 --> 00:17:55,780
the ability to defy physics.
417
00:17:55,790 --> 00:17:57,060
Garbage.
418
00:17:58,870 --> 00:18:00,000
Jessica?
419
00:18:00,130 --> 00:18:02,430
Why'd you run off with the boys?
420
00:18:02,540 --> 00:18:03,660
I stole your idea.
421
00:18:03,670 --> 00:18:05,010
I'm taking them on a fake book tour.
422
00:18:05,020 --> 00:18:07,040
It's going well. Tomorrow
we tackle the Panhandle.
423
00:18:07,170 --> 00:18:08,780
Jessica, what's going on?
424
00:18:10,010 --> 00:18:12,750
I don't want the boys to
find out about my book.
425
00:18:12,780 --> 00:18:14,440
They'll never respect me again.
426
00:18:14,660 --> 00:18:16,360
That's ridiculous.
427
00:18:16,440 --> 00:18:20,020
Is it? You said yourself
they learn from watching us.
428
00:18:20,180 --> 00:18:22,880
If they see my book is a dud,
you know what they learn?
429
00:18:23,060 --> 00:18:24,890
That their mom is a failure.
430
00:18:28,920 --> 00:18:30,920
Just because the book didn't sell
431
00:18:30,940 --> 00:18:32,470
doesn't mean you are a failure,
432
00:18:32,480 --> 00:18:34,010
but you can't hide this.
433
00:18:34,020 --> 00:18:35,840
It's just as important
for the boys to see
434
00:18:35,850 --> 00:18:38,440
how you deal with a loss as
it is to see you succeed.
435
00:18:39,140 --> 00:18:42,700
It's just I've never failed
like this before in my life.
436
00:18:42,800 --> 00:18:44,620
I know.
437
00:18:44,820 --> 00:18:46,850
But I've failed hundreds of times,
438
00:18:46,880 --> 00:18:48,340
and you were always there for me.
439
00:18:48,480 --> 00:18:50,060
Let me be there for you.
440
00:18:51,140 --> 00:18:52,780
You have failed a lot.
441
00:18:54,560 --> 00:18:56,040
Building your own dirt bike.
442
00:18:56,590 --> 00:18:58,060
Beekeeping.
443
00:18:58,090 --> 00:18:59,800
- Cattleman's in a cup.
- Yep.
444
00:18:59,820 --> 00:19:01,960
The banjo, "Top Hat" Louis,
445
00:19:02,080 --> 00:19:03,500
forming your own break-dance crew.
446
00:19:03,540 --> 00:19:04,670
Okay, let's go tell the boys.
447
00:19:04,680 --> 00:19:06,130
I'm just gonna finish this chapter.
448
00:19:06,240 --> 00:19:07,260
No.
449
00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:09,000
Boys, your mother has something
450
00:19:09,020 --> 00:19:11,260
she needs to tell you about her book.
451
00:19:12,870 --> 00:19:14,050
Sometimes you forget
452
00:19:14,060 --> 00:19:16,300
how stupid the rest of the world is.
453
00:19:16,440 --> 00:19:18,040
Like how all anybody cares about
454
00:19:18,080 --> 00:19:20,480
is whether some snotty
British boy can fly and...
455
00:19:21,100 --> 00:19:23,280
Eddie? What's wrong?
456
00:19:24,400 --> 00:19:26,720
I never said goodbye to Nicole.
457
00:19:26,750 --> 00:19:28,300
And she leaves in an hour,
458
00:19:28,380 --> 00:19:30,600
and now we're here on this book tour.
459
00:19:30,890 --> 00:19:32,100
I messed up.
460
00:19:34,090 --> 00:19:35,160
Book tour is cancelled.
461
00:19:35,180 --> 00:19:36,840
We're going home so
Eddie can see Nicole.
462
00:19:37,160 --> 00:19:38,980
- Sweet!
- Yes.
463
00:19:39,020 --> 00:19:40,060
You're not gonna tell them?
464
00:19:40,080 --> 00:19:42,940
I will later, but right
now, our son needs us.
465
00:19:43,140 --> 00:19:46,440
The one thing I can't
ever fail is our boys.
466
00:19:46,570 --> 00:19:47,600
Oh!
467
00:19:47,640 --> 00:19:49,380
How about a heads-up?
468
00:19:53,880 --> 00:19:55,580
Damn it! We're 40 minutes late!
469
00:20:00,290 --> 00:20:02,200
Nicole! You're still here!
470
00:20:02,240 --> 00:20:03,570
I thought you were leaving at 3:00.
471
00:20:03,590 --> 00:20:04,790
I'm leaving at 5:00.
472
00:20:04,830 --> 00:20:06,280
I told you 3:00 because
473
00:20:06,290 --> 00:20:08,530
it always takes you longer
than it should to come around.
474
00:20:09,560 --> 00:20:11,260
You really do speak Eddie.
475
00:20:11,420 --> 00:20:13,330
Got time for one last Saturn talk?
476
00:20:14,100 --> 00:20:15,500
I'm sorry I was a dope.
477
00:20:15,570 --> 00:20:17,700
I'm just... really gonna miss you.
478
00:20:17,870 --> 00:20:19,200
You're going to miss me?
479
00:20:19,340 --> 00:20:21,100
How am I supposed to
make it without you?
480
00:20:21,160 --> 00:20:22,510
You had permanent shotgun.
481
00:20:22,540 --> 00:20:24,300
I mean, you've been there
through everything.
482
00:20:24,540 --> 00:20:27,700
I know it sucks we won't be
together talking like this,
483
00:20:27,720 --> 00:20:29,880
but you're gonna kill it in New York.
484
00:20:29,920 --> 00:20:31,480
You're Nicole.
485
00:20:31,560 --> 00:20:32,800
I'm gonna miss you, girl.
486
00:20:32,920 --> 00:20:34,320
I'm gonna miss you, fool.
487
00:20:40,880 --> 00:20:42,120
Are you crying?
488
00:20:42,140 --> 00:20:44,440
Nah. It's just my allergies.
489
00:20:44,520 --> 00:20:46,060
Okay.
490
00:20:46,140 --> 00:20:47,710
Because you know what happens in here
491
00:20:47,720 --> 00:20:50,300
stays in here, forever.
492
00:20:50,310 --> 00:20:51,780
Whew! It's...
493
00:20:51,820 --> 00:20:53,220
It's really flaring up now.
494
00:20:57,270 --> 00:20:58,730
And with that home run,
495
00:20:58,770 --> 00:21:01,600
Sammy Sosa retakes the
lead over Mark McGwire.
496
00:21:01,620 --> 00:21:03,170
Slammin' Sammy!
497
00:21:03,200 --> 00:21:05,260
You know he's on steroids, right?
498
00:21:05,640 --> 00:21:07,810
What steroids?
499
00:21:10,020 --> 00:21:12,420
Hey, I know it's going to be difficult,
500
00:21:12,450 --> 00:21:13,630
but you still need to tell the boys
501
00:21:13,640 --> 00:21:14,760
what happened with the book.
502
00:21:16,820 --> 00:21:17,940
What book?
503
00:21:19,420 --> 00:21:20,420
I know what you're doing,
504
00:21:20,450 --> 00:21:21,980
but you can't just deny it happened.
505
00:21:22,080 --> 00:21:24,420
Deny what happened?
506
00:21:24,520 --> 00:21:26,500
Uh-oh.
507
00:21:26,560 --> 00:21:31,560
- Synced & corrected by MementMori -
-- www.addic7ed.com --
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