All language subtitles for Almost Royal - 02x01 - Beauty.HDTVx264FLEET.English.HI.C.orig.Addic7ed.com

NARRATOR: Poppy and Georgie
Carlton are back.

Reporting live for "News Today",
I am Nerissa Knight

at a private airport
in California

where English aristocrats
Poppy and Georgie Carlton

have arrived on U.S. soil.

NARRATOR: The royal sibling --

60th and 61st in line to
the English throne...

- I'm poppy.
- Hello, Lisa Vanderpump.

...are still being followed
24 hours a day

by a documentary crew.

Georgie,
we share a common name.

Yes.

And this time, they're joining
the ranks of

the Internet generation.

Hello, investigative journalists
Poppy Carlton here.

...filming themselves as they
embark on a cultural tour

across the United States.

- Are you ready?
- 3, 2 --

No, I'll do it.
I want to do it.

3, 2, 1 -- record.

...as they investigate
the subjects

that define American life today.

I don't know if
you guys are aware,

but we're not actually women.

In America, do you always finish
off with a blow-dry?

Always.

I thought I was gonna be
the only one in red.

No.

So, why are you here in
the United States?

We're here to find out what
makes Americans tick,

beauty-wise.

It'll also be interesting

to find out about standards of
beauty in America.

Will any of them
live up to Poppy?

I doubt it.

NARRATOR:
Aspiring online commentators,

Poppy and Georgie Carlton are in
the United States of America

to investigate
the world of beauty.

GEORGIE: It's funny about
beauty, isn't it, Poppy?

Because people from
different places

think different things
are beautiful.

I wonder what Americans
think is beautiful.

Maybe guns or something.

- Barbecue.
- Yeah. Guns and barbecue.

Maybe the dream American woman
is just a lady made of brisket

holding a revolver.

NARRATOR: By way of an
introduction to the subject,

Poppy and Georgie have made an
appointment at a beauty school.

There we are, Poppy.
Hello.

- How are you?
- Good. Lovely to meet you.

- Hello, I'm Georgie.
- I'm Dom.

NARRATOR: They're here to meet
hairdresser Domiano,

who's going to demonstrate some
basic beauty skills.

One of the things that we're
gonna be focusing on today --

- Are you a hairdresser?
- Of course I am.

- Oh.
- Yeah, you're gonna be with me.

I didn't realize --
you're not like

lots of the hairdressers
I've met before.

Okay.

So we're gonna walk over to
the mannequin.

Okay.

And we're gonna work on some
hair-cutting today.

So we're gonna cut
a straight line,

and we're gonna use the comb
as our ruler, right?

So we're gonna bring the hair
down, and if you will...

That's very straight.

- Very straight.
- Very simple.

So do you want to give it
a go, Georgie?

Yes, absolutely.
Are these my scissors here?

Those are yours, yeah.

I've never had my own
proper scissors.

People have always said I'm
quite dangerous.

You actually should give him
a wide berth.

Yeah. So you're gonna use
your left hand.

You're gonna comb the hair
with your left hand.

And you're gonna hold it down
like a ruler.

- How short are we --
- No! Not that --

you're not gonna
want to do that.

Wow. So hair-cutting might not
be your thing, Georgie.

But it looks lovely,
don't you think?

Um, yeah. Wow.

- Wow.
- What do we do with that?

Um, wow.

You're gonna just drop it
on the floor.

Oh, and nanny comes and cleans
this up.

There's no nanny in here that's
gonna clean it up.

You're gonna have to
do it yourself.

Usually when we make the mess,
we're gonna have to clean it.

Okay, perfect.
So we're gonna walk here

and we're gonna work on our
blow-dry finishing.

The first thing I want to do

is actually, I want to
get one of you involved.

So I'm gonna have you
get involved, Poppy.

If you can, just take a little
bit of product.

I'm gonna put it in your hand.
Okay?

- And do... - And in America,
do you always finish off

with a blow-dry?

- Always.
- That's nice.

So you want apply the product
thoroughly

throughout the ends
of her hair.

Yep. Go ahead.

- Perfect.
- Oh, it's not too hard.

So you're gonna hold the brush
in your right hand

and the blow dryer
in your left hand.

You ready?

You want me to hold that
for you?

There we go.

- You're gonna hold this.
- You can do it if you want.

No, you need to do it.

But this is much easier if you
do that one and you do that one.

And what are you
gonna do? Watch?

She's doing the blow-dry.

Yeah.

You need to move that brush
at the same time.

So as I move down --
we're gonna

have to coordinate
this together.

It's actually easier
if one person does it.

So we're gonna give it go?

Coordinate the blow dryer down.

Oh, yeah.

Away from you.

You're gonna just start pulling
away on it.

Careful, you're --

Oh, that's a good point.
Should I --

should one dry your
down-there hair?

When you're out of the shower?

Uh, I -- I --
you can, I would imagine.

But not --

you wouldn't go into
a salon for that.

That went absolutely
brilliantly.

I think I may have found
my calling.

You guys work really well
as a team.

- Thank so you much, Dom.
- Thanks so much, Dom.

- It was lovely to meet you.
- Thank you for having us.

Nice to meet you, Georgie.
Nice to meet you, Poppy.

- Thank you. Goodbye, Dom.
- Bye!

NARRATOR: To help them
understand beauty in America,

Poppy and Georgie
have enlisted the help of

superstar Mario Lopez
to serve as their guide.

As an actor, presenter, and host
of the miss world pageant,

Mario is perfectly placed

to illuminate further
the topic of beauty.

[BEEP]

Hello, I'm Poppy Carlton,
and I'm here with

the most beautiful man
in America, Mario Lopez.

We're going to be talking about
looks, appearances, and beauty.

Georgie's here, as well.

Thank you. Finally.

NARRATOR:
They begin with the basics.

How old do you have to be before
you can be beautiful?

And what about sexy?

How old do you have to be?
Well, I have a 4-year-old

and a 1-year-old, so I think as
soon as you're born

you qualify to --

- Be sexy?
- To be able to be beautiful.

I think sexy is something that
comes with time and maturity.

You know? I don't think you
can have a sexy kid.

You know, one of daddy's friends
said that I was a sexy child.

And then he didn't
come around anymore.

Yeah, that would -- I don't know
if I have friends like that.

You've got to be careful
what you say.

NARRATOR: Poppy and Georgie have
been invited to judge

a "cutest baby" competition

at a local harvest festival
in Florida.

Linda is the organizer of
the event.

Hi. Georgie.
Lovely to meet you.

Hi, George.
Nice to meet you.

How do you do?
I'm Poppy.

Oh, nice to meet you, Pompeii.

Welcome to our 40th annual
harvest festival,

and our "cutest baby" contest.

What makes
a really cute baby?

- Well...
- Is it the eyes, or...?

It could be the eyes, it could
be the smile...

A cheeky smile?

It could be if they're really
shy, you know?

Or if they say something
really hilarious?

That's right, yeah.

Do you ever get adults dressed
as babies trying to compete?

- No, we don't.
- Yeah. - Okay.

LINDA: Well, good afternoon,
everybody.

And we're honored to have
two judges that have come

from England -- this is George,
and this is his sister, Pompeii.

Oh, yeah, we normally say
"Poppy" for "Poppy."

- Oh, Poppy.
- Oh, Poppeh is her name.

Pompeii is a place in Italy

where there was a terrible
disaster.

Lots of people died.
Lots of people died.

Oh, okay. Okay.
So, it's Poppeh.

And our first entrant,
her name is Adrianna.

She looks lovely.
Well done.

Lovely.
[APPLAUSE]

She probably shouldn't eat
so many sweets.

I would say so, right.

'Cause that can be very bad for
things like type 2 diabetes.

And goes straight to
the hips, as well.

Okay. And our next entrant is
Emily May Cisneros,

and she's 15 months old.

She's like Uncle Humphrey.

Oh, yes. Our Uncle Humphrey's
got a dress like that.

Oh, goodness!
[LAUGHS]

- And he always does this.
- Yeah.

Okay. Our next entrance
is Victor Gutierrez.

Oh, he looks like he's wearing
a little prison uniform.

Okay. And those are
all of our entrants

for the "cutest baby" contest.

So, please sit tight, and we are
going to get together here now

- with George and Poppeh --
- Poppy.

- Poppy, yes.
- Poppeh.

And June, my assistant,

and we're going to try to
figure out who's the winner.

NARRATOR:
Having retired backstage,

the judges are deliberating.

- So, what do you think?
- Is it only one baby?

- One baby.
- Now, I like Victor

because of the prison uniform.

POPPY: Which one do you think
was the sexiest?

It's -- it's not
the sexiest baby.

- It's the cutest baby.
- Cutest baby.

Oh, okay.
Very exciting.

Ladies and gentlemen, we have
made our selection.

And the cutest baby boy is

Gutierrez, Victor.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

- We're gonna do prison baby.
- That's lovely.

And he's in the prison uniform

like they said grandpa
was wearing.

Yes. That was
a war tribunal, though.

NARRATOR:
Poppy and Georgie Carlton

are in the United States
of America

investigating the subject
of beauty.

No, not that! You're not
gonna want to do that. Wow.

NARRATOR: Continuing in his role
as their guide

is superstar Mario Lopez.

Who is more beautiful, Mario?
Men or women?

Yeah, that's a good one.
Battle of the sexes, Mario.

I'm gonna lean more towards
the women.

But that's just me.

Even taking into account,
in england,

there are some
very ugly women?

Awful.

Huh.

NARRATOR:
Eager to immerse herself

in the subject of beauty,
Poppy is intending to compete

in an American institution --
the beauty pageant.

The royal siblings have come to
meet Mona Igor

and her two daughters, a family
with more than 25 years

of experience in
the pageant business.

Shawna focuses on the most
important part of the pageant --

the interview.

What do you want to be?
What is your ambition in life?

I've recently become a small
English businesswoman.

Okay, that's wonderful.

What kind of business did
you start?

Well, it's a bit vague.
I haven't really worked it out.

I decided to become
a businesswoman first,

and then do the business later.

Um, what about, like,

any charity work
or community service?

Do you do anything like that?

I tend to find the poor
quite grabby.

So, probably not.

Okay, well, in a pageant, we
wouldn't want to say that.

Because here, they're a lot
about helping

not just the poor, but like we
said, the elderly

- or animals, whatever.
- I like animals.

I love eating and wearing them.

I don't know about that one.

Um, they do a lot of, like,
"if I gave you $100,000,

what would you do with it,"
you know,

doing something good, something
to help people,

rather than "if you gave me
$100,000,

I would go on
a shopping spree."

Yeah, definitely.
Or a really good vacation.

That's what I would like to do.

Or you would say that, but you
would also have a positive,

something with the community,
or something --

Maybe could say, "I'd love to go
on a really good holiday,

but I'll take
an orphan with me."

But with a friend instead of
the orphan.

I don't think that would count
for community service.

NARRATOR: Back with Mr. Lopez,

he offers up some of his
valuable expertise.

Could you think of a classic
pageant question?

- You're the expert.
- A classic pageant question.

Something they ask in
all pageants.

Probably ask something along the
lines, like,

"do you think Hillary Clinton
has a good shot

to be the first female
president,

considering the baggage she's
bringing to the election

like Benghazi and the e-mail
scandal and what have you?

Or will it become irrelevant?"

Go.

Yes.

I do.

NARRATOR: Poppy and Georgie
have come to

the Miss Broward County
beauty pageant,

in which Poppy is going to
compete for the crown.

Welcome, Poppy. Grant.

NARRATOR: Here, they meet show
organizer grant

and former winner Michelle, who
will take Poppy under her wing.

Welcome to what is going to be
a fun afternoon.

- Yes.
- Is this your first pageant?

Yeah, it's my first one.
But probably not my last.

Well, we'll see about that.
Are you ready to win?

- Yeah, I really want to win.
- She's always ready to win.

Well, we're going to have a lot
of fun today,

so I say let's get going.
Right.

Should I go up as well, grant?

Um, if you'd like to meet
the young ladies.

I never turn down an opportunity
to meet a young lady.

Poppy, I've got
a Georgie cam.

Hello, Georgie cam.

This is my camera.
Say hello.

Hello.

I love my makeup.

It's pageant,
but it's subtle, too.

Yes. Now let's go out there
and get that crown, right?

Yeah.

I thought I was going to be
the only one in red.

No.

NARRATOR: Meanwhile, Georgie
takes a front-row seat

with the judges.

Let's get the party started

with the introduction of this
evening's delegates.

So what do you aspire --
who do you look up to?

Just imagine -- who is it?
Tell me a person.

Probably me.

[APPLAUSE]

That's not my sister.

Someone said that I look like
George W. Bush's wife.

So that's lovely.

WOMAN: Up next is delegate
number 2, Poppy.

There she is.
Yes, Poppy!

NARRATOR: The first part of the
competition is the interview.

What qualities do you look
for in a friend?

Qualities I look for in a
friend, um, the main one is

total obedience, because
basically I have this friend

called Tabitha, and she never
did what I said,

and she's really annoying,
and she thought she was

really pretty, but she wasn't
actually that pretty!

So probably I'd say that I like
people a bit more like Millie,

because she just does
what I say.

I've got one eye on fashion,

one eye on current affairs,

and the other on the prize.

Simply put,
if life hands you lemons,

give the lemons to someone else,

and they can make you something
lemony. I don't know what.

I'm an ambassador for world
peace, not a chef.

Thank you.

10 out of 10.

NARRATOR: Once the interviews
are concluded,

the girls return to the stage

in evening wear for
the prize-gmng.

WOMAN:
Audience, drumroll, please.

Hold on, hold on.
Wait for camera.

- Wait for camera.
- He's a funny little man.

- He's my son.
- Is he? Well done, you.

WOMAN: Ladies and gentlemen,

your new Miss Broward County
Fair International is...

Poppy!

Oh! Brilliant!

I'd like to dedicate this
to all of my ugly friends

to show it's okay, because I'm
pretty on behalf of all of us.

World peace.

NARRATOR:
Poppy and Georgie Carlton

are in the United States
of America,

investigating the theme
of beauty.

I'd like to dedicate this to
all of my ugly friends.

NARRATOR: Their guide on the
subject, Mario Lopez,

has been helping them
on their journey.

"When a lady has no clothes on,

how beautiful does she have
to be to notice her face?"

How beautiful does she have to
be to notice her own face,

or are you asking me how
beautiful she had to be

for me to notice
her face?

How... I don't know.

I'm trying to tie
my head round it.

"When a lady has no clothes
on --" that bit makes sense,

'cause... I got that.

I think it might be to not
notice her face.

Does that make more sense?

Or for you
to notice her face.

That would make more sense.

"When a lady has --" maybe just
we know what this bit means.

"When a lady has no clothes
on..."

You can stop right there.
It's fine.

"Why is a man with no shirt
more beautiful

than a man with no pants?"

It leaves nothing to
the imagination,

so maybe ladies
are disappointed.

They like a little mystery.

Also, I think maybe
you're right,

the build-up's better than
the reality,

because quite frankly,
a lot of them --

I've been in the showers after
a game of cricket before,

and some of them are much more
purple than you were expecting.

Okay.
Well, I can't, you know...

Speak on that experience, but
I'm -- take your word for it.

NARRATOR: Digging deeper into
the subject of beauty,

Georgie is investigating how
a man can be beautiful.

The siblings are meeting
Peaches Christ,

who runs a different type
of pageant.

Georgie. Peaches.
Nice to meet you.

So, I don't know if
you guys are aware,

but we're not actually women.

It's hard to tell.

So, we're gonna --
we're gonna costume you

to compete with the other drag
queens in the pageant tonight.

So, this pageant is really
looking for

the next talented drag queen,

and we really think that you
have a shot

at winning over the judges.

So, you will perform a number.

So if there's a song that you
know particularly well,

preferably with female vocals...

I'm sure I can think of
something.

Perfect. And do you have
a drag name chosen?

One of mother's friends,
who I quite admire,

is called
Lady Hollingsworth.

My friend Duffy,
when he sees a lady with

an impressive front section,
he shouts "badonkadonk."

- Uh-huh.
- So I was thinking

Lady Hollingsworth-Badonkadonk.

When we were talking, we thought
of a few others.

I don't know.
What did you think?

Well, playing on Georgie,
maybe Georgie o'[Bleep].

BOTH:
What does that mean?

Well, you don't have [Bleep]
in england?

So [Bleep] when air gets inside
of a woman's vagina,

and as it escapes it sort of
makes an audible noise.

A pilates pop.

- Yes, a pilates pop.
- My friend Tabitha does that.

She's got really weak
stomach muscles.

I've never had that problem.

But it's basically
a vagina fart.

Maybe go with Lady
Hollingsworth-Badonkadonk.

It's a little bit more polite.

Oh.

Do I look halfway between
a sperm and me?

Do you ever think you might be
overdoing it?

Well, look at it this way --

this is exactly how I start my
makeup, and I look fabulous.

NARRATOR: Poppy excuses herself,

leaving Georgie to emulate his
sister's unique style

in an attempt to maximize his
live performance.

[LAUGHING]

Do I look like you?

You've got my mole.

Yeah, but a sparkly version.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

Hello, everybody.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

So, this first number is
actually being performed by

someone who's presenting their
first time in drag to you.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
So...

He -- or she and her sister

are descendants of royalty
from the u.K.

So you guys ready for her?
You're gonna give her some love?

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
Let's bring her out.

Lady Hollingsworth-Badonkadonk!

Here she is!

NARRATOR: As a final homage
to his sister,

Georgie is performing
his own interpretation

of Poppy's single,
"Everyone Knows It But Me."

♪♪

♪ if you've been
looking for love ♪

♪ you can call off your search

♪ it's cool

♪ I'm so beautiful

♪ and everyone knows it but me

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

Thank you, Lady
Hollingsworth-Badonkadonk.

Apparently drag entertainment
is much different in the U.K.

♪♪