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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,919 --> 00:00:04,463 Last day of my life. 2 00:00:35,036 --> 00:00:39,123 Diary, 24th of September, 1916. 3 00:00:39,790 --> 00:00:41,459 Near Combres. 4 00:00:42,543 --> 00:00:44,962 I had spent the night in an old ruined cellar 5 00:00:45,046 --> 00:00:47,590 with its walls dripping green moisture. 6 00:00:47,715 --> 00:00:50,634 And so now it was good to feel the warmth of the sun 7 00:00:50,760 --> 00:00:53,929 striking through the folds of my damp tunic. 8 00:00:53,971 --> 00:00:56,265 And the morning was perfect. 9 00:00:56,390 --> 00:00:57,600 There was nothing to be heard, 10 00:00:57,641 --> 00:01:00,811 save the occasional murmur of soldiers' voices 11 00:01:00,936 --> 00:01:03,606 and the crunch of boots on the loose soil. 12 00:01:03,731 --> 00:01:08,486 And in the gentle lulling warmth, the war seemed very remote, 13 00:01:08,569 --> 00:01:10,613 for here was peace. 14 00:01:11,614 --> 00:01:16,035 One time, I remember I slowly became aware of the sound of men digging 15 00:01:16,160 --> 00:01:19,163 on the other side of the bank near where I stood. 16 00:01:19,288 --> 00:01:21,999 I don't know what they were digging for exactly, 17 00:01:22,041 --> 00:01:24,502 but I do remember that they sounded very cheerful about it. 18 00:01:25,878 --> 00:01:30,925 Especially when somebody nearby started a phonograph going. 19 00:01:52,863 --> 00:01:57,118 It was very comforting to hear those cheerful noises 20 00:01:57,201 --> 00:02:00,704 because, well, it was such a warm and peaceful morning, 21 00:02:00,746 --> 00:02:04,458 and it all helped me to forget about the war. 22 00:02:04,542 --> 00:02:07,503 And perhaps, not only me for all around me 23 00:02:07,545 --> 00:02:11,632 in this desolate back area there were soldiers relaxing. 24 00:02:11,715 --> 00:02:16,887 Soldiers quiet and easy in the sun, a whole army at rest, 25 00:02:17,555 --> 00:02:20,141 like an unwound clock spring, 26 00:02:20,266 --> 00:02:26,397 men released from a hell in a merciful peace that is suddenly shattered. 27 00:02:48,002 --> 00:02:52,131 Shattered by the soft, but deadly voices of guns, 28 00:02:52,214 --> 00:02:57,428 an insistent clamouring from a heavy barrage at the front two miles away. 29 00:02:57,595 --> 00:02:59,513 Start to feel the certain pangs of fear 30 00:02:59,597 --> 00:03:03,100 and the gentle breath of the morning turns sour. 31 00:03:03,726 --> 00:03:07,605 But does any of this affect the other members of my section? 32 00:03:07,730 --> 00:03:09,398 Seems not. 33 00:03:09,523 --> 00:03:13,611 Pretzlav at the end is now concluding some coarse joke. 34 00:03:13,736 --> 00:03:17,656 Other men appear to be quite unconcerned and relaxed. 35 00:03:18,657 --> 00:03:23,913 I can't tell whether those men at the end are as scared as I am. 36 00:03:25,122 --> 00:03:26,624 I don't know. 37 00:03:26,707 --> 00:03:28,626 They may be able to cover up well, 38 00:03:28,709 --> 00:03:31,629 for a couple of French soldiers from the front are passing them 39 00:03:31,670 --> 00:03:36,383 and the only reaction seems to be that Pretzlav has some rude remark for them. 40 00:03:36,467 --> 00:03:40,679 But to me, the sight of those dusty soldiers clumping away 41 00:03:40,804 --> 00:03:44,642 brings the physical feel of war close the first time. 42 00:03:44,725 --> 00:03:47,061 And then suddenly I hear the rattle of rifle bolts 43 00:03:47,144 --> 00:03:50,981 and the clink of steel helmets and then the crunch of marching feet, 44 00:03:51,065 --> 00:03:53,984 as men all around me march off to the front… 45 00:03:54,068 --> 00:03:56,487 Crunch! Crunch! Crunch! 46 00:03:56,654 --> 00:04:01,825 Each seismic crunch of the boot draws the war closer and closer. 47 00:04:02,660 --> 00:04:06,956 Oh God, soon it will be my turn and my feet, too. 48 00:04:07,039 --> 00:04:11,168 Crunch! Crunch! Dragging me forward towards those guns. 49 00:04:11,252 --> 00:04:14,129 Those bloody blasted guns! 50 00:04:16,548 --> 00:04:20,010 I suppose I must be making a melodrama out of all this. 51 00:04:20,094 --> 00:04:22,346 There's something so unnatural, 52 00:04:22,429 --> 00:04:25,516 so horrible about the sight of those soldiers, 53 00:04:25,557 --> 00:04:30,020 plodding like soulless automatons through a desolate land. 54 00:04:30,145 --> 00:04:32,564 It's all rather unnerved me. 55 00:04:33,190 --> 00:04:36,735 Anyway, I must try to pull myself together like those other men over there 56 00:04:36,860 --> 00:04:39,488 who seem to be quietly relaxing in the sun. 57 00:04:40,906 --> 00:04:44,702 Yes, Pretzlav there, who seems to spend almost every waking minute 58 00:04:44,785 --> 00:04:49,081 relishing one of the highly immoral and vulgar leaves he spent 59 00:04:49,206 --> 00:04:52,209 and of course solid, dour Bill Richards, 60 00:04:52,293 --> 00:04:55,796 who seems to spend most of his time listening to Pretzlav. 61 00:05:01,510 --> 00:05:04,346 Then of course, there's dear old Tom Mason 62 00:05:04,471 --> 00:05:07,725 who has been in the war since early 1915. 63 00:05:07,808 --> 00:05:11,145 He can be a little old-fashioned at times. 64 00:05:11,270 --> 00:05:14,898 Particularly where a young Ginger Morris is concerned, 65 00:05:14,940 --> 00:05:19,320 who has without doubt the most active bowel system in the British Army. 66 00:05:19,403 --> 00:05:23,574 He's always emerging from behind some bush or other. 67 00:05:23,615 --> 00:05:27,828 And as he usually has some cheeky answer ready. 68 00:05:27,911 --> 00:05:30,998 Poor old Tom ends up by being furious. 69 00:05:34,585 --> 00:05:39,048 But Ted Crompton, I've never really liked. 70 00:05:40,257 --> 00:05:43,969 Probably because I feel he rather enjoys his war. 71 00:05:46,138 --> 00:05:48,140 As for young Lieutenant Ferris, 72 00:05:48,265 --> 00:05:52,269 I always think how awful it must be for him, for an offensive… 73 00:05:52,394 --> 00:05:55,939 He's always got to appear calm and in complete control of his nerves, 74 00:05:56,023 --> 00:05:58,692 no matter what he really feels. 75 00:05:59,193 --> 00:06:02,446 It's probably a lot easier for the experienced Sergeant Harman. 76 00:06:02,571 --> 00:06:06,241 He's been in the front a good many times before. 77 00:06:07,618 --> 00:06:11,789 Oh God, those guns again, they seem to be nearer now. 78 00:06:11,830 --> 00:06:14,249 Louder and more insistent. 79 00:06:14,958 --> 00:06:19,630 They seem to destroy every vestige of the peace and beauty of this morning. 80 00:06:19,671 --> 00:06:23,217 Air is foul, the trees seem to become twisted and warped. 81 00:06:23,300 --> 00:06:28,472 Branches jab at me, sharp, pointed and hard like steel, like a battle. 82 00:06:28,597 --> 00:06:30,974 Oh God, a battle. I'm scared. 83 00:06:31,058 --> 00:06:33,227 I'm so bloody scared. 84 00:06:33,852 --> 00:06:36,105 I know what's going to happen. 85 00:06:36,230 --> 00:06:38,482 I can see it all in my mind. 86 00:06:39,650 --> 00:06:41,276 I can see it. 87 00:06:41,402 --> 00:06:43,946 I can see the details of a battle in my mind. 88 00:06:44,071 --> 00:06:48,534 I can… I can hear the noise. I can see the blurred confusion. 89 00:06:48,659 --> 00:06:51,453 Men running, men left to die. 90 00:06:51,495 --> 00:06:54,623 I… Oh God! It's too awful. 91 00:06:54,706 --> 00:06:57,543 Too bloody… Oh, I'm so scared. 92 00:06:57,668 --> 00:07:02,131 Well, this… This is what I'm going to go through. 93 00:08:54,868 --> 00:08:56,995 Watch them cheering. 94 00:08:57,454 --> 00:09:01,833 They've gained an area of about 200 square yards of mud, 95 00:09:01,917 --> 00:09:04,294 just heaving, stinking mud. 96 00:09:05,379 --> 00:09:08,674 And in a short while, the game old Bosch will win it back again. 97 00:09:08,799 --> 00:09:13,387 In the meanwhile, let them cheer, it's a wonderful achievement. 98 00:09:20,894 --> 00:09:25,774 And that… That is how I shall probably die. 99 00:09:26,108 --> 00:09:30,153 Left like some torn, screwed up rag on the battlefield. 100 00:09:31,321 --> 00:09:34,658 When you know this is going to happen to you, 101 00:09:34,700 --> 00:09:38,704 your body suddenly becomes something terribly precious to you. 102 00:09:38,787 --> 00:09:42,291 Your flesh, soft and warm, is yours. 103 00:09:42,374 --> 00:09:43,834 Your personal belonging, 104 00:09:43,917 --> 00:09:47,713 not to be treated like some discarded piece of offal. 105 00:09:47,838 --> 00:09:50,173 You find yourself thinking about this, 106 00:09:50,340 --> 00:09:53,844 realising what a wonderful thing your body is 107 00:09:53,927 --> 00:09:58,181 and what an awful and wrong thing it is to maltreat it. 108 00:09:58,307 --> 00:10:01,184 But all that is to come. 109 00:10:02,102 --> 00:10:06,356 At the moment it's just the watching and the waiting. 110 00:10:06,481 --> 00:10:10,360 Watching the lieutenant and waiting for someone, 111 00:10:10,527 --> 00:10:14,364 probably a brigade runner to bring him our movement orders. 112 00:10:14,489 --> 00:10:18,410 Orders that will take us to the front, to those guns. 113 00:10:19,077 --> 00:10:21,788 Oh, come on! Why the hell doesn't something happen? 114 00:10:23,165 --> 00:10:26,293 Time is just grinding by and nothing is happening. 115 00:10:26,376 --> 00:10:29,588 Or perhaps… Perhaps the runner won't appear. 116 00:10:29,713 --> 00:10:32,633 Perhaps… Hmm. 117 00:10:33,717 --> 00:10:35,218 Oh God! 118 00:10:40,015 --> 00:10:42,851 I should have known. 119 00:10:43,727 --> 00:10:46,521 Should have known that there'd be no escape. 120 00:10:46,563 --> 00:10:49,191 The others must know it, too. 121 00:10:49,733 --> 00:10:52,778 I wonder what they're thinking about. 122 00:10:53,320 --> 00:10:57,866 What's going on behind that cold front of Crompton's. 123 00:10:58,950 --> 00:11:03,413 Crompton, who has vowed to run at least three Germans through with his bayonet 124 00:11:03,580 --> 00:11:05,916 before the battle is over. 125 00:11:06,249 --> 00:11:10,420 Is he really as hard and as cold as he would have us believe? 126 00:11:10,545 --> 00:11:15,384 Or is all this toughness merely a front to cover his real feelings? 127 00:11:16,051 --> 00:11:17,761 Only he knows. 128 00:11:18,095 --> 00:11:20,013 Now, don't envy poor old Tom, 129 00:11:20,097 --> 00:11:22,182 he's been to the front so many times before, 130 00:11:22,265 --> 00:11:24,267 he really knows what he's in for. 131 00:11:24,309 --> 00:11:26,520 Must be awful for him. 132 00:11:33,652 --> 00:11:36,113 Must be awful for all of them. 133 00:11:36,279 --> 00:11:38,949 Just managing to control their feelings on the outside, 134 00:11:39,032 --> 00:11:44,705 they wait and watch in silence, impassive, expressionless. 135 00:11:45,622 --> 00:11:47,749 But what's on the inside? 136 00:11:47,833 --> 00:11:49,292 Fear? 137 00:11:52,295 --> 00:11:54,005 Resentment? 138 00:11:56,425 --> 00:11:58,135 Bewilderment? 139 00:11:58,635 --> 00:12:00,637 Or just loneliness? 140 00:12:06,143 --> 00:12:07,686 If that officer had only the power 141 00:12:07,769 --> 00:12:10,689 to write down what each of his men really felt. 142 00:12:10,772 --> 00:12:14,067 And could then make the people who start these wars read about it. 143 00:12:14,151 --> 00:12:17,279 Then, maybe they'd… Maybe… 144 00:12:17,362 --> 00:12:18,739 Oh, well. 145 00:12:18,822 --> 00:12:23,160 Anyway I see now that we're about to start our little war. 146 00:12:23,243 --> 00:12:25,746 So, let's pull up our equipment, pull it on 147 00:12:25,871 --> 00:12:28,707 and get ready to play at being tin soldiers 148 00:12:28,832 --> 00:12:32,169 and go and fight for a few yards of earth. 149 00:12:43,388 --> 00:12:46,308 So, now I'm ready with my rifle and bayonet 150 00:12:46,349 --> 00:12:48,018 and steel helmet and ammunition. 151 00:12:48,101 --> 00:12:49,853 I suppose I must be everything 152 00:12:49,936 --> 00:12:53,106 that those recruiting posters say I should be. 153 00:12:53,190 --> 00:12:56,151 They don't tell you you can get so scared, so numb 154 00:12:56,193 --> 00:13:00,238 that even the rough canvas webbing, you can't feel it. 155 00:13:00,739 --> 00:13:02,532 You just don't know it's there. 156 00:13:02,616 --> 00:13:05,994 The whole body is a vacuum without feeling. 157 00:13:06,036 --> 00:13:09,039 Except for the hands, their cold, clammy palm. 158 00:13:09,790 --> 00:13:12,459 To be a proper soldier you've got to wipe your hand 159 00:13:12,542 --> 00:13:16,630 by making little furtive moves so that nobody can see. 160 00:13:17,422 --> 00:13:20,759 There's… There's an ache in your throat. 161 00:13:20,884 --> 00:13:22,803 And your head hurts and your… 162 00:13:22,886 --> 00:13:25,889 And your mind flicks from thing to thing. 163 00:13:26,014 --> 00:13:28,016 You can't think properly. 164 00:13:28,058 --> 00:13:31,728 Your hands remotely do odd little things without you knowing. 165 00:13:33,396 --> 00:13:35,065 Oh God, my head hurts. 166 00:13:35,190 --> 00:13:39,402 Why can't someone explain to me just why I've got to die? 167 00:13:39,778 --> 00:13:42,614 Soon… Soon there'll be nothing. 168 00:13:43,114 --> 00:13:45,450 Just a void. Nothing. 169 00:14:00,757 --> 00:14:02,342 And Tom… 170 00:14:03,343 --> 00:14:05,262 Tom, please help me. 171 00:14:05,303 --> 00:14:07,931 Give me some of your strength, 172 00:14:07,973 --> 00:14:12,352 so that I won't be scared, as you're not scared. 173 00:14:12,936 --> 00:14:15,605 Tom, please help me. 174 00:14:23,446 --> 00:14:28,368 And he didn't say a thing. Didn't try to help me. 175 00:14:28,451 --> 00:14:32,956 I just don't know why, or was he scared too? 176 00:14:35,625 --> 00:14:39,504 I shall never know. I shall never know. 177 00:14:42,716 --> 00:14:46,011 So then it was time for us to leave. 178 00:14:46,136 --> 00:14:50,307 Well, I suppose in years to come people will say about us… 179 00:14:50,432 --> 00:14:53,018 "They went with songs to the battle. 180 00:14:53,143 --> 00:15:00,150 "They were young, straight of limb, true of eye, steady and aglow." 181 00:15:02,152 --> 00:15:04,863 God, if only they knew. 182 00:15:13,580 --> 00:15:15,707 As we marched along the top of the ridge, 183 00:15:15,832 --> 00:15:18,209 I saw below us a German prisoner. 184 00:15:18,293 --> 00:15:21,254 He was the first German soldier I'd ever seen. 185 00:15:21,338 --> 00:15:26,509 As I looked at him, I saw the complete ridiculousness of the whole thing. 186 00:15:26,635 --> 00:15:29,262 He was eating a bowl of soup or something 187 00:15:29,387 --> 00:15:32,349 and he looked so ordinary, so harmless. 188 00:15:32,432 --> 00:15:36,686 He might have been Pretzlav or Morris sitting there, 189 00:15:37,604 --> 00:15:40,482 just wearing a different uniform. 190 00:15:40,523 --> 00:15:42,233 This man was meant to be our enemy, 191 00:15:42,317 --> 00:15:46,321 one of the soldiers of the hated imperial German empire. 192 00:15:46,404 --> 00:15:49,741 One of the men we've been trained to kill. 193 00:15:53,161 --> 00:15:55,538 And he looked so harmless. 194 00:16:01,169 --> 00:16:04,005 But the most terrible thing about war 195 00:16:04,089 --> 00:16:08,343 is not just the fact that we have to kill men so much like ourselves, 196 00:16:08,385 --> 00:16:13,306 but that we have to hate them and keep on hating them. 197 00:16:19,729 --> 00:16:25,402 And now, meanwhile, all that is left to us, to our section 198 00:16:25,527 --> 00:16:30,699 is to go forward and fight and kill men like him, like ourselves. 199 00:16:32,617 --> 00:16:37,247 Seems so bloody pointless, we go forward to those guns 200 00:16:37,330 --> 00:16:40,250 and God only knows what'll happen to us. 201 00:16:40,333 --> 00:16:42,168 God only knows. 202 00:16:45,922 --> 00:16:51,886 We're told what a tremendous thing it is to die for one's country. 203 00:16:53,596 --> 00:16:56,224 Well, tell it to those two. 16150

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