All language subtitles for Abbott.Elementary.S01E10.720p.WEB_.h264-KOGi

All right, all right.

Let me show you girls how
it's really done, okay?

Go ahead.

Will you go?

Uh, you messed up
my concentration,

so let me start over.

Recess is almost over.

School is almost over.

Okay, maybe if you guys
weren't double-handed.

Maybe it's not me.
Maybe it's you.

All right, here we go.

Ah!

Jacob, that was my turn.

Down by the river where
the green grass grows,

there sat Janine
sweet as a rose.

Along came Jacob,
doing double dutch.

Janine's on the
sidelines. Jealous much?

Wow. I'm good. Huh.

Okay, we're all set.
The food's been ordered.

It's gonna get here right
in time for the Open House.

All right. Jacob: And if we
really want to get crazy,

I've got my travel Scrabble.

I always keep it on my person.

Are we gonna have to spend time

talking to the parents
at the Open House?

I forgot... this is
your first Open House.

Oh!

Oh, he's so young.
It's adorable.

I mean, old and dignified.

Today, after school, we
have our annual Open House.

Parents and anyone
in the neighborhood

are invited to attend.

But people in this
community are busy working,

or they just don't show up.

You taking the bar?

What's with all the studying?

Oh, this is a make-or-break
Open House for me.

If you don't make yourself
relax, you will break.

Hardly anybody ever comes.

No, I know. I just have
this student, Nina,

and she's been struggling,

and I haven't been able
to connect with her mom,

and this is my one
chance to talk to her

because she promised
she'll be here tonight,

so it has to go perfect.

What's your resting heart rate?

- Around 75.
- Mm.

What are you, a hummingbird?

No, it's just... I know
what it's like to be a child

at one of those pivotal
moments, and, uh...

You know, parents
should be involved.

But what are you afraid
she's gonna end up like?

I'm DJ'ing the Open House!

DJ A-V-A!

Whatever.

The superintendent is coming.

Don't you think you
should act more like

you know, a... principal?

Yeah, well, if
the superintendent

has notes for me, I
got a note for him...

Don't let me catch you
cheating on your wife.

What are you talking about?

Oh, you don't know?

I caught him with the Deaconess.
That's how I got this job.

He thought he could
get away with a thot,

but he thought wrong.

That's a tongue twister.

Wait. Are you saying...

That that man is in my pocket

like Jay-Z after the elevator.

I'ma go set up.

Y'all got any requests,

ask your mama, 'cause
I don't take requests.

Gregory: I applied for
the principal job here.

I studied for it.
I majored in it.

I did everything right,

but I didn't get
the job because Ava

blackmailed the superintendent!

Janine: I'm not sure when
Nina's mom is coming, uh,

but I'm starting to
get a little anxious.

This has to go well.

So, just in case, I'm
gonna go see Barbara

to rehearse what I have to say.

Barbara is my mentor.

And you know what? She's
kind of like my mom.

She's my momtor.

Hey, Barbara.

There you are.

I have been looking forward
to seeing you all day.

Wow. This is my
dream.

Oh.

Mm!

Nope. Hugs... parties of two.

Oh!

Um, Janine, I'd like
you to meet my daughter.

Hi. I'm Taylor.

Oh, Janine teaches
the second grade,

and the kids
absolutely love her.

Mm. Yeah, wow.

It's so nice to meet
you. You're so lucky.

Your mom is a saint.

So I've heard.

Taylor's visiting from New York,

and since Open House is usually
so long and sparsely attended,

I invited her to
keep me company.

Oh, wow! New York.

You know, last time I was there,

I was shopping on Canal Street,
and I see this huge rat.

So I pull out my phone
to take a picture of it,

but then this flying
piece of garbage

just smacks me in the face,

so dropped my phone,
went in the gutter,

never saw it again.

Wow. That story had everything.

Man, this is so cool
'cause, you know,

you're Barbara's blood daughter,
and I'm her work daughter.

Uh, her work daughter? Yep.

Oh, God. Oh, no, no, no.

You're not jealous, are you?

Because you got all the perks.

So many perks. Yeah,
shopping trips,

boy talks, period talks.

Those must have been moving.

I wish I could've gotten one
from my mom or even Barbara.

So why don't we just take a look at
some of the children's art? Yeah.

Janine: Oh, I can't even imagine
having a mom like Barbara.

I used to do this
thing with my mom

where I would say to her
exactly what I wanted to hear,

hoping she would
just say it back,

and she'd just keep
playing my Game Boy, so...

Hey, Jacob.

What are you doing?

Oh, me? I'm... just
admiring Mr. Dewey

and his undefeated
decimal system.

Come over here. Play some poker.

I've never really played.

Even better. You got 20 bucks?

Well, you know what?

Might be worth it to
lose a little money

for the conversation
and camaraderie.

Yeah, whatever. Mr. J!

Come on. It's time.

Hey, it's me, Mr. Johnson.

I look different in
my after-work clothes.

You got him to play? Mm-hmm.

I think I'll be okay.

You know, I... I've
dabbled in Uno.

Yeah, see? He dabbled in Uno.

Listen, this is a
nice, friendly game.

You got nothing to worry about.

Well, wonderful.

Sit your ass down.

Papa's getting a
new set of brooms!

Ava over P. A.:
Principal A-A-Ava, son!

Another one!

Check out this oldie but
goodie by my guy Ginuwine!

It's called "Pony," y'all!

And he ain't talking
about a horse!

Superintendent
Collins, you showed.

Just stopping by
for a quick tour.

Well, if you want to waste
your time, fine by me.

But you know if
you got a problem,

there's nothing you
can do about it.

It's my job to be here.

Well, I wouldn't want to
cheat you out of a tour.

I say that 'cause
you cheated on your wife.

I got it the first time.

Let me put on some Toni Braxton.

You'll like this
one. It's called...

"Love Shoulda
Brought You Home"!

How about I take you
to dinner after this?

Take me? I'm taking you.

Where
do you want to go?

I heard... I heard
Burrata's really good.

Yeah.

Tariq always says he's
gonna take me there

when he signs a record deal,

but he hasn't been
offered one yet,

so I'm just holding
off on reservations.

Okay.

Well, we'll take that
under consideration.

Maybe we could...

You know, I know lots of special
places I haven't been to yet,

so don't be afraid to ask.

And, Taylor, I don't know how
long you're gonna be here,

but I would love to
show you around Philly.

Oh, that's okay. I
grew up here. Oh.

I'm really just
here to see my mom.

She's also here for work.

I'm here to see you.

But you're also here for work.

I mean, that's usually
when you visit, right?

Well, your mom is amazing.

In fact, the reason I'm
here is to, you know,

ask you about a conversation
I have to have later

with a parent... Mom, I'm here.

What difference does it
make if I also have to work?

But, sweetheart,
there is a difference.

Well, so what do you do, Taylor?

I represent a global brand. We
promote friendship and fun...

She sells booze.

I'm a rep for a high-end
alcohol company.

Oh! Oh, I love high-end alcohol.

I don't drink it, but I
do love the commercials.

The Most Interesting
Man in the World...

He seems interesting to me.

That's for beer.

But wait until you
see our spokesman.

So you know Machine Gun
Kelly? Oh, my God, yes!

Our guy sounds just like him.

And we just did a deal where if
the Sixers win the NBA Finals,

they're gonna pour our
spirits on themselves.

Oh, wow! That is huge. Mm-hmm.

The only spirit I recognize
is the Spirit of the Lord.

Here we go again.

I'm just saying,
with your gifts,

you could be helping people.

You don't need to
"just say" that, Mom.

Well, I feel like I do.

See, this is the
kind of open dialogue

that I'm hoping to have
with this parent later...

Well, I'm sorry we can't
all be Saint Barbara.

Well, I wasn't saying she
was like a saint, saint.

She hasn't been recognized
by the church, I don't think.

All that education.

You could be doing so much more.

Like teaching, right?

Well... yes.

There it is!

Just because I didn't make the
same life choices you made,

you can't support me.

That is not true.
Well, that's not true.

It is true. You wanted
me to be someone

who dedicates their
life to children

and can't afford a
nice car or a mortgage

and dresses like Mr. Rogers.

Oh! Dig on me. Yes.

Because, ultimately, she just
wants me to be someone like you.

So..now is probably
not a good time

to talk about the
parent-teacher con... No.

Okay. Right.

Barbara...

It's okay, Janine.

Taylor and I have
had that conversation

many times.

Oh.

Well, I hope it works out.

Um... although I am flattered

that you wanted your
daughter to be like me.

Janine, this is none
of your concern.

I know that you have a
very important conversation

coming up with a parent,

so why don't you go and
prepare for that, huh?

Good idea. Yes.

But if you did want me to make
that reservation at Burrata,

I could do that for
the three of us.

Or just the two of us?

I'm leaving.

Okay, I'm back. Had to
show a couple of parents

how to get to another school.

They were in the wrong place.

Oh, sorry, Mr. Johnson,
I gotta do that.

Last time I trusted
someone else to shuffle,

I lost a kidney.

I am all-in.

She hasn't even
dealt the cards yet.

Yeah, I meant emotionally.

I fold.

I don't want to get my hopes up.

Is that Gregory?

Did he look, like, disheveled?

Normally, I do
these standing up,

but I realized something...

Nothing matters.

Okay? Why try?

I mean, I tried for the
principal job, and for what?

You know, what was the point?

I mean, what's the point
of anything, really?

Oh, yeah, I loosened
my tie, yeah.

I mean, why even sit
up straight, you know?

I like this. It feels better.

Why do
people sit like that?

Oh, hey! Are you Nina's mom?

No, I'm Jamar's mom.

Oh, dang it. What?

Why? Is Jamar doing okay?

Is he falling behind?
Oh, no, no, no, no, no!

He's perfect. Um...

Why don't you take a
look at the art wall,

and I'll be with
you in a second.

Have a cookie...
They're homemade

from the grocery store.

Monica: If you're
calling about it,

I probably don't
have time for it.

Leave one.

Hey, Mrs. Williams.

This is Ms. Teagues,
Nina's teacher.

Um, you said that you would
be at the Open House tonight,

and FYI, we close at 8:00 sharp.

So, see ya soon!

Okay.

Taylor: Uh... hi?

Sup?

I'm Taylor.

Greg.

I'm the not principal
of Abbott Elementary.

What a coincidence.

I'm not the principal, either.

Well, we have that in common.

You a parent? No.

My parent works here.

And she never lets
you forget it.

Oh. Yeah, you're
Barbara's daughter.

From New York, right?

Yep. It's the best.

I mean, it can be
stressful, but...

I don't know anything
about stress.

Nickname's "Easy Going Greg."

What's up, Barb?

Hello, Mrs. Howard.

Taylor, can I talk
with you, please?

Janine: Mother-daughter
relationships can be tricky.

No one knows that more than me.

There isn't anything I can do
about Nina's mom not showing up,

but there is something I can
do about Barbara and Taylor.

I can help them fix things.

I'm probably the
only one that can.

Barbara: Oh.

I love you, and I
am proud of you,

and I will always
be there for you.

Oh!

Oh.

Oh.

Barbara and Taylor: Oh!

Oops! Power surge.

Uh, I was trying to leave
quietly without you seeing me,

but then you couldn't
see anything,

and now you can.

So... I am going to go.

You guys keep hugging.

Okay.

Thinking about turning
that into my wo-man cave.

My Lady Lair.

Somewhere I can take naps
and watch "Housewives."

Do you think I could
fit a Jacuzzi in there?

Do you think you should be
doing that on school grounds?

Do you think you should be doing
what you did on church grounds?

Hey! Superintendent Collins.

You remember me?

Gregory Eddie. Mm.

Of course.

You gave a really
good interview.

I thought so, yeah.

You interviewed for this job?

Oh, damn! What happened?

It's hard to say.

But you made the right
choice here with Ava.

I don't even know
how to DJ, so...

Ava: Why you being all weird?

I like you better
when you're stoic.

Keep the mystery, boo.

Great hire. Well-deserved.

Really, really well-deserved.

Another Ava super-fan.

Hey, I'm... Nina's mom, yeah.

The Open House closed at 8:00.

It's 8:30, so, no,
sorry, you missed it.

I know, but... No buts.

I've been trying to get you
in this classroom all year.

You had plenty of
time to get here.

If you'll let me exp...
I'm tired of excuses.

You weren't here when
you said you would be.

Your kid's having trouble,
and are you there for them?

No. You're doing
whatever you want

because the whole world
revolves around you.

But... Just be
there for your kid.

It's not fair that
they have to be

more of a grown-up than you are,

and the only time you reach out

is when you ask for
a Disney+ login.

Um, I have my own login.

And I was stuck in the E. R.

There was a guy with
a bullet in his groin,

and I thought it'd be a
good idea to stick around

and help him get it out.

Is that okay with you?

Yeah, yeah. No, that's
okay. That's fine with me.

I'm just, again, really
sorry for what I said.

It wasn't about you. It
was about me. I understand.

Just had some
experience with parents

who aren't really there when
their kids need them to be.

But, obviously, that isn't you.

It isn't. I love Nina.

And I'll do whatever it
takes to figure this out.

Okay! Just wait.

I can't let you do this, kid.

Why don't we just say we're
playing for these chips

and not real money?

A bet is a bet.

I gambled away my house, my car,

and my subscription
to Horse Fancy.

No one ever said, "That's
okay, Mr. Johnson.

It was an honest mistake."

You don't have to
treat me like a kid.

Okay, kid.

But you shoulda listened to me.

Read 'em and weep!

Not surprised.

My cards are trash. Whoo!

Oh. Darn it!

I just have the same four cards.

Are you frickin' kidding me?

Does that mean I
get all the chips?

What was that? What was what?

That right there...
That... that smirk.

Yeah, he's definitely besmirked.

You've played poker
before, haven't you?

All right, you hustled me.

Sorry. Yeah.

I'm actually really
good at poker.

When I did Teachers
Without Borders,

we had a lot of free time,

so we basically would
just play cards,

and have sex with each other.

What's the name of that
organization again?

You know what? I'm not even mad.

I'm impressed. Mm.

I mean, I will get
revenge on you,

and you should look
over your shoulder

for the rest of your
life, but... well done.

Not getting
multiplication tables,

difficulty telling time...

They're things that can
be worked on at home

while we continue to
work on them here.

And I won't leave anyone behind,

but I just need it
to be a group effort.

I want to work together.
That's all I'm asking.

You know, Nina's a smart kid.

Like her mom.

She just needs some
extra attention

from all of us at this stage,

and once she gets that,
she's gonna thrive.

She's so lucky to have you.

Thank you. Oh.

Oh.

I hugged you, but

now it feels like
you're hugging me.

Yeah.

I think I need it.

Victory lap!

Um, you're in a good mood.

Ah, yes!

The mom I was waiting
for finally showed up,

and we had this amazing talk,
and we're gonna work together,

and I really think
it's gonna help.

Hmm. Well, I'm happy for you.

Thank you.

Why is your posture not perfect?

You okay? Something
happen to your core?

My core's fine. Oh.

I'm just... processing
some things.

Well, we're going out tonight,

to celebrate my big teacher win.

You know, I forgot for a second,

but caring really pays off.

So let's get a drink.

Ah, Janine, I'm sorry.
I can't tonight.

Why not?

You ready, Greg?

Greg? This is, uh, Taylor.

She's... Yeah. Yeah, we met.

Uh, but maybe another time.

Mm-hmm. Yeah.

We should go to Burrata.
I hear it's amazing.

All right.

And that concludes the
Total Waste of Time Tour.

So I guess I'll be seeing
you in a couple of weeks

at the school board meeting.

Yes, you will,
and I'll be asking

for extra funding for next year,

and you will, of
course, give it to me.

Well, I'm not so
sure about that,

because, Ava, that's my
wife come to pick me up.

That's not your wife.
That's the woman that you...

Married?

Yeah, I got divorced and
remarried to the Deaconess.

So all you saw me doing
was kissing my future wife.

But if your presentation
to the school board

is anything like that tour,

you're in a lot of trouble.

You ready, baby?

Hey, Ava!

Do you want to go
celebrate with me?

Girl, you know I can't be
seen in public with you.

Okay, a simple
"no" would be fine.

Damn.

I'm gonna miss being
annoyed by you.

Does that mean I'm getting
less annoying, or...?

No, it means I'm
about to get fired.

Maybe they won't be. Who knows.

I mean, I know, but I'm hungry.

Have a good night, and be safe.

Well

looks like your
work mom is free.

How about dinner?

Is this really
happening?

Okay, sorry.

Play it cool, Janine.

I would love that.

- Come on.
- Okay.

So, how did the conversation
go with the parent?

Oh, you know what?
Surprisingly well.

I... I was shocked. Uh...

Wonderful. Yeah.

DJ A-V-A.

A-A-A-A-A-A!

Gotta turn the
lights off, Mary J.