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1
00:00:08,183 --> 00:00:10,254
Huh?
2
00:00:10,320 --> 00:00:11,824
So dope.
3
00:00:11,891 --> 00:00:13,661
Slammin' kicks.
4
00:00:13,761 --> 00:00:15,632
Is that kid wearing Slipremes?
5
00:00:15,732 --> 00:00:18,136
He totally is.
6
00:00:19,205 --> 00:00:22,111
These are my first tie-shoes.
7
00:00:22,177 --> 00:00:24,248
You're wearing
the new Slipreme Caliphates?
8
00:00:24,315 --> 00:00:27,321
How did a chum-wad like you
get a pair?
9
00:00:27,388 --> 00:00:29,258
My daddy took my cat
to the cat doctor,
10
00:00:29,325 --> 00:00:30,962
and when Daddy came home,
11
00:00:31,029 --> 00:00:33,066
my cat had turned
into these shoes.
12
00:00:33,133 --> 00:00:35,538
So Ralph got weird sneakers--
who cares?
13
00:00:35,638 --> 00:00:37,809
Uh, no one...
14
00:00:37,876 --> 00:00:39,713
except everyone.
15
00:00:39,780 --> 00:00:41,617
Those aren't just sneakers.
16
00:00:41,684 --> 00:00:43,053
They're Slipremes.
17
00:00:43,186 --> 00:00:45,692
That's Orion Hughes'
skatewear company.
18
00:00:45,792 --> 00:00:48,263
He's huge on TikTok.
19
00:00:48,363 --> 00:00:50,467
Got to say, today was crazy.
20
00:00:50,568 --> 00:00:52,071
You all know my dad,
21
00:00:52,137 --> 00:00:54,342
international superstar
Darius Hughes.
22
00:00:54,375 --> 00:00:56,780
Well, I just laid down the hook
for his new movie,
23
00:00:56,847 --> 00:00:59,519
Duplicate Cop 2: Copy Cop.
24
00:00:59,653 --> 00:01:01,957
♪ One cop
that you just can't stop ♪
25
00:01:02,024 --> 00:01:05,297
♪ 'Cause he's two cops--
one cop and a copy of a cop ♪
26
00:01:05,364 --> 00:01:08,169
♪ Two badges, one mind. ♪
27
00:01:08,236 --> 00:01:10,240
And my skatewear brand, Slipreme,
28
00:01:10,340 --> 00:01:12,177
is about to drop a new shoe,
29
00:01:12,244 --> 00:01:14,482
the sequel to the Caliphate One.
30
00:01:14,583 --> 00:01:16,152
The Caliphate Two.
31
00:01:16,219 --> 00:01:18,958
Limited release--
available only this Friday.
32
00:01:19,025 --> 00:01:20,528
And Saturday,
33
00:01:20,595 --> 00:01:23,099
we explode the pop-up factory
that makes them.
34
00:01:23,199 --> 00:01:26,707
ALL
Go! Go! Go, Orion! Go! Go!
35
00:01:26,774 --> 00:01:28,443
Go! Go! Go, popcorn!
36
00:01:28,511 --> 00:01:30,848
Go! Go! Go, popcorn!
37
00:01:30,915 --> 00:01:32,986
No! No! No kernels!
38
00:01:33,119 --> 00:01:35,858
No! No! No kernels!
39
00:01:35,925 --> 00:01:37,361
Hey, that's my favorite show.
40
00:01:37,428 --> 00:01:39,465
You guys have to buy me
these sneakers.
41
00:01:39,533 --> 00:01:41,369
They're all anyone
cares about at school.
42
00:01:41,436 --> 00:01:43,173
And if I don't have them,
I'm nobody.
43
00:01:43,239 --> 00:01:45,444
Well, you're somebody
in this house.
44
00:01:45,511 --> 00:01:47,682
Come on, don't lie to the boy.
45
00:01:47,749 --> 00:01:49,485
I've never wanted
a piece of clothing before
46
00:01:49,586 --> 00:01:51,055
in my entire life.
47
00:01:51,122 --> 00:01:52,659
Dad, with this one act,
48
00:01:52,726 --> 00:01:55,898
you can erase ten years
of second-rate parenting.
49
00:01:55,965 --> 00:01:57,368
I'd think about that, Homie.
50
00:01:57,434 --> 00:01:59,005
It's a pretty good offer.
51
00:01:59,071 --> 00:02:00,307
Mm?
52
00:02:00,374 --> 00:02:03,380
You must really want those pants
53
00:02:03,514 --> 00:02:05,017
or videogame.
54
00:02:05,117 --> 00:02:08,289
Son, your father will deliver.
55
00:02:11,530 --> 00:02:14,068
Of course Orion Hughes'
new store would be
56
00:02:14,168 --> 00:02:16,907
in Springfield's
former packing peanuts district.
57
00:02:17,041 --> 00:02:18,978
This street is so cool.
58
00:02:19,045 --> 00:02:21,349
art galleries,
beard-only barbershops,
59
00:02:21,416 --> 00:02:23,353
and a weird store
that only sells
60
00:02:23,420 --> 00:02:25,625
a single action figure.
61
00:02:25,692 --> 00:02:27,428
How do they survive?
62
00:02:28,430 --> 00:02:30,768
Hmm?
63
00:02:30,835 --> 00:02:32,972
Oh, look at this line.
64
00:02:33,073 --> 00:02:34,843
Can't even see those guys.
65
00:02:34,943 --> 00:02:38,049
I'm gonna be stuck here all day
with the nose ring brigade.
66
00:02:38,116 --> 00:02:42,391
In that case, I'm gonna check
out this Hasidic surfwear shop.
67
00:02:43,561 --> 00:02:46,099
Okay, Homer, you can do this--
you waited in line overnight
68
00:02:46,199 --> 00:02:48,103
for Krusty's
new fried chicken sandwich.
69
00:02:48,203 --> 00:02:51,376
And it was the best decision
of your life.
70
00:02:51,476 --> 00:02:54,348
I will get Bart those shoes.
71
00:02:56,620 --> 00:02:58,123
Whoa!
72
00:02:58,223 --> 00:03:00,260
Whoa!
73
00:03:00,327 --> 00:03:02,966
Dad, you got 'em.
74
00:03:03,033 --> 00:03:05,337
I waited through rain,
through sun,
75
00:03:05,437 --> 00:03:07,341
through the death
of my phone battery
76
00:03:07,441 --> 00:03:09,980
from watching super-cuts
of boating accident videos,
77
00:03:10,080 --> 00:03:13,521
all to see the joy on your face.
78
00:03:13,621 --> 00:03:16,860
I love you, Dad.
I finally love you.
79
00:03:16,960 --> 00:03:18,229
And bought love
80
00:03:18,329 --> 00:03:21,269
is the best kind of love.
81
00:03:21,402 --> 00:03:22,739
Wow!
I'm so pumped!
82
00:03:22,839 --> 00:03:23,941
I'm also pumped!
83
00:03:24,041 --> 00:03:26,145
Here come the sneakers!
84
00:03:26,212 --> 00:03:28,149
Shh, shh.
85
00:03:28,249 --> 00:03:31,089
Whoa!
86
00:03:32,759 --> 00:03:35,965
Whoa, I got to see
those babies in action.
87
00:03:38,136 --> 00:03:40,373
Hmm?
88
00:03:46,352 --> 00:03:48,256
These shoes are made from...
89
00:03:48,323 --> 00:03:52,164
- used Band-
- Aids and North Korean newspapers?
90
00:03:52,197 --> 00:03:54,034
My dad waited in line
all day for these shoes,
91
00:03:54,101 --> 00:03:55,337
and they're crap.
92
00:03:55,404 --> 00:03:58,276
I'm gonna go to that store
and get his money back.
93
00:03:58,376 --> 00:04:00,515
"Dear Leader Announces
94
00:04:00,581 --> 00:04:02,786
Wheat Quotas Exceeded
Yet Again."
95
00:04:10,033 --> 00:04:11,770
Ooh, a text.
96
00:04:17,749 --> 00:04:18,884
Returning the shoes?
97
00:04:18,984 --> 00:04:20,822
But then he'll find out...
98
00:04:20,888 --> 00:04:23,426
what really happened.
99
00:04:23,493 --> 00:04:26,165
So hot, no shade.
100
00:04:26,232 --> 00:04:27,602
Maybe this guy will let me sit
101
00:04:27,735 --> 00:04:30,608
under his flat-brimmed
baseball hat?
102
00:04:30,675 --> 00:04:32,645
Mm... Mm.
103
00:04:32,745 --> 00:04:33,981
Homer J. Simpsons.
104
00:04:34,048 --> 00:04:37,354
The line-standing legend himself.
105
00:04:37,421 --> 00:04:39,425
Hey! Mike Wegman!
106
00:04:39,559 --> 00:04:41,864
How's it clangin'?
Where's your food truck?
107
00:04:41,964 --> 00:04:43,968
Somebody pushed it off a bridge,
but don't worry,
108
00:04:44,068 --> 00:04:47,107
I had a good reason, and now
I got an even better business.
109
00:04:47,174 --> 00:04:49,211
Selling those
limited-edition sneakers.
110
00:04:49,345 --> 00:04:50,748
You want a pair?
111
00:04:50,848 --> 00:04:52,451
Oh, my God,
my kid's begging for these.
112
00:04:52,519 --> 00:04:53,954
How much do I owe you?
113
00:04:54,054 --> 00:04:55,658
You owe me?
114
00:04:55,725 --> 00:04:58,329
How much do the pilgrims
owe the Statue of Liberty?
115
00:04:58,396 --> 00:05:00,535
How much does hot dog
owe a mustard?
116
00:05:00,601 --> 00:05:03,106
For you, these are on the house.
117
00:05:03,206 --> 00:05:04,943
Oh, thank you so much.
118
00:05:05,010 --> 00:05:07,949
Don't worry about it, these
aren't real Slipremes anyway.
119
00:05:08,016 --> 00:05:09,553
What? They're fake?
120
00:05:09,619 --> 00:05:12,224
Oh, but I promised
my son the real ones.
121
00:05:12,257 --> 00:05:14,696
Who, Bart, huh?
That bed-wetting nobody?
122
00:05:14,763 --> 00:05:17,134
He won't be able
to tell the difference.
123
00:05:17,201 --> 00:05:19,305
Kids today aren't
like you and me.
124
00:05:19,371 --> 00:05:21,910
They're dumb
because of phones or whatever.
125
00:05:22,010 --> 00:05:25,985
Hmm, and I do like
getting away with things.
126
00:05:26,018 --> 00:05:27,555
That's winner talk there.
127
00:05:27,655 --> 00:05:30,327
Hey, which of you freak shows
wants to do business?
128
00:05:30,393 --> 00:05:32,632
I like your dumb hat.
129
00:05:38,042 --> 00:05:39,746
Mm? Mmm!
130
00:05:39,813 --> 00:05:42,417
I got to stop Bart from
returning those fake sneakers.
131
00:05:42,484 --> 00:05:44,255
"No no no no no!"
132
00:05:44,321 --> 00:05:46,860
Thanks, Dad, it is on.
133
00:05:46,927 --> 00:05:48,531
Bart Simpson here,
about to clown some fools
134
00:05:48,631 --> 00:05:50,935
who sold me
some crappy sneakers.
135
00:05:51,035 --> 00:05:53,908
These shoes are trash.
I want my money back.
136
00:05:53,974 --> 00:05:56,747
Uh, real Caliphate Twos
aren't made from garbage.
137
00:05:56,813 --> 00:06:00,053
They're vegan leather made
from upcycled recycling bins.
138
00:06:00,120 --> 00:06:01,857
Wait, what?
139
00:06:01,924 --> 00:06:03,393
These are fakes.
140
00:06:03,493 --> 00:06:06,232
You're trying to return
bootleg sneakers.
141
00:06:06,299 --> 00:06:08,871
You can't record me--
I'm recording you.
142
00:06:08,938 --> 00:06:10,508
What up, Shauna Nation?
143
00:06:10,575 --> 00:06:12,545
As always, I'm Shauna.
144
00:06:12,645 --> 00:06:15,483
Look at this idiot,
trying to return a knock-off.
145
00:06:15,551 --> 00:06:18,891
Link in my bio
to win free edible eyeshadow.
146
00:06:18,991 --> 00:06:20,227
They're not fake.
147
00:06:22,599 --> 00:06:25,805
My Dad waited in line for these
shoes and spent a lot of money.
148
00:06:25,938 --> 00:06:28,376
And Homer Simpson
would never lie to his son
149
00:06:28,409 --> 00:06:31,148
just to get out
of standing in li...
150
00:06:31,215 --> 00:06:33,419
Oh, my God,
he bought me fake shoes.
151
00:06:33,486 --> 00:06:35,190
Bart, don't return the shoes!
152
00:06:35,257 --> 00:06:36,192
This is just a dream.
153
00:06:36,259 --> 00:06:38,129
Wake up, Bart. Wake up.
154
00:06:38,196 --> 00:06:39,733
How could you?
155
00:06:39,799 --> 00:06:41,102
I will never be more embarrassed
156
00:06:41,168 --> 00:06:43,473
than I am right now.
157
00:06:45,477 --> 00:06:48,049
We have underpants.
158
00:06:48,149 --> 00:06:50,588
You've ruined me!
159
00:06:50,688 --> 00:06:52,457
Please like and subscribe.
160
00:06:56,900 --> 00:06:59,506
Stupid Homer.
Turned me into a GIF.
161
00:07:00,307 --> 00:07:02,512
Oh, man.
162
00:07:03,714 --> 00:07:06,352
You're even a dance.
It's called
163
00:07:06,452 --> 00:07:08,222
the "Pants Kid Shimmy."
164
00:07:08,289 --> 00:07:10,293
It's everywhere!
165
00:07:10,360 --> 00:07:12,464
♪ Pants Kid Shimmy ♪
166
00:07:12,565 --> 00:07:15,003
♪ Pants Kid
Shimmy ♪
167
00:07:15,070 --> 00:07:17,374
♪ Pants Kid Shimmy ♪
168
00:07:17,441 --> 00:07:19,144
♪ Shimmy, shimmy. ♪
169
00:07:19,211 --> 00:07:21,415
So fun!
170
00:07:21,482 --> 00:07:23,654
Son, I got you
this apology card.
171
00:07:23,754 --> 00:07:26,025
The duck, you know,
on the front, he thinks
172
00:07:26,125 --> 00:07:29,331
what I did was "quackers,"
and maybe he's right.
173
00:07:29,465 --> 00:07:31,035
Don't ever talk to me again!
174
00:07:31,135 --> 00:07:32,972
What was I thinking, trusting
you to help me look cool?
175
00:07:33,039 --> 00:07:35,377
You're the least cool person
who ever lived.
176
00:07:35,477 --> 00:07:37,314
But that includes Urkel.
177
00:07:37,381 --> 00:07:39,418
You're bald.
You own a bowling ball.
178
00:07:39,519 --> 00:07:41,422
You own truck nuts but no truck.
179
00:07:41,523 --> 00:07:44,061
You've seen Tim Allen's standup
multiple times.
180
00:07:44,128 --> 00:07:45,631
You still have a CD tower.
181
00:07:45,731 --> 00:07:47,000
And each one your three kids
182
00:07:47,067 --> 00:07:48,604
is embarrassed by you
in a different way.
183
00:07:48,671 --> 00:07:50,473
Mm.
184
00:07:50,574 --> 00:07:52,377
You were born uncool
185
00:07:52,444 --> 00:07:54,348
and every day for four decades,
186
00:07:54,415 --> 00:07:56,620
you've gotten less cool.
187
00:07:58,489 --> 00:08:00,861
I know I'm not exactly
Stefan Urquelle,
188
00:08:00,928 --> 00:08:04,001
but didn't you ever think
your old man was a little cool?
189
00:08:04,068 --> 00:08:06,573
Never. Not one bit.
190
00:08:11,683 --> 00:08:14,088
I'm sorry to bother you.
I'm looking for Bart Simpson.
191
00:08:14,154 --> 00:08:15,423
Orion Hughes!
192
00:08:15,490 --> 00:08:17,995
I found your critically-maligned
book of poetry
193
00:08:18,096 --> 00:08:20,233
to be weirdly moving.
194
00:08:20,300 --> 00:08:23,540
Yeah, I thought poetry
would be hard, but it wasn't.
195
00:08:23,574 --> 00:08:25,644
I know you. You're the voice
196
00:08:25,745 --> 00:08:27,515
of the urban squid
from the live-action
197
00:08:27,615 --> 00:08:29,284
Finding Nemo.
198
00:08:30,353 --> 00:08:32,257
Bart, I wanted to apologize
199
00:08:32,324 --> 00:08:34,294
for the way
my employees shamed you.
200
00:08:34,361 --> 00:08:35,664
You heard about that?
201
00:08:35,798 --> 00:08:38,236
Ooh, I saw that dance
202
00:08:38,302 --> 00:08:40,741
on Ellen today.
203
00:08:41,977 --> 00:08:43,547
You didn't know
the shoes were fake.
204
00:08:43,680 --> 00:08:45,183
To make up
for your global humiliation,
205
00:08:45,250 --> 00:08:47,889
I brought your family
some free Slipreme skatewear.
206
00:08:52,130 --> 00:08:54,636
Whoa, new skateboards!
207
00:08:57,842 --> 00:09:00,146
Grab a board,
show me what you got.
208
00:09:00,246 --> 00:09:02,084
Uh, I'd love to, of course.
209
00:09:02,150 --> 00:09:04,889
But the thing is,
I have a deal with Slim Jim.
210
00:09:04,956 --> 00:09:08,697
I can't skate unless I'm holding
a Dr. Pepper Salami Twister.
211
00:09:08,797 --> 00:09:10,500
Come on,
just ollie off the curb.
212
00:09:10,568 --> 00:09:12,572
Ollie?
Oh, yeah, that's the move
213
00:09:12,672 --> 00:09:14,475
where you throw it, right?
214
00:09:16,378 --> 00:09:20,353
You own a skatewear company
and you don't know how to skate?
215
00:09:22,525 --> 00:09:23,994
Please don't tell anyone.
216
00:09:24,094 --> 00:09:25,698
Hey, dude, no worries.
217
00:09:25,765 --> 00:09:27,869
You know what?
I can teach you to skate.
218
00:09:27,935 --> 00:09:29,873
But what if I'm not
instantly amazing at it?
219
00:09:29,939 --> 00:09:32,177
I've heard that can happen.
220
00:09:32,979 --> 00:09:35,183
Okay, feet on the board,
bend your knees,
221
00:09:35,250 --> 00:09:36,653
find your center...
222
00:09:38,991 --> 00:09:40,828
I'm doing it. I-I'm authentic.
223
00:09:40,895 --> 00:09:43,099
No one's ever been this real.
224
00:09:43,199 --> 00:09:45,136
Don't fall down!
225
00:09:45,203 --> 00:09:46,840
What's "falling down"?
226
00:09:51,750 --> 00:09:53,520
That's-that's my blood.
227
00:09:53,554 --> 00:09:55,323
I've never seen it before.
228
00:09:55,390 --> 00:09:57,394
So cool. Let's go again.
229
00:09:59,766 --> 00:10:02,638
Can you pass the guacamole,
#GuacAttack?
230
00:10:02,772 --> 00:10:04,542
♪NewChipsOnTheGuac?
231
00:10:04,609 --> 00:10:06,713
You're hashtagging a lot lately.
232
00:10:06,780 --> 00:10:09,418
So Bart called you uncool,
big deal.
233
00:10:09,485 --> 00:10:11,523
Chasing after coolness
is futile,
234
00:10:11,656 --> 00:10:13,326
because the definition
is both arbitrary
235
00:10:13,392 --> 00:10:15,230
and constantly changing.
236
00:10:15,330 --> 00:10:17,367
Mm, still want to be it.
237
00:10:19,539 --> 00:10:21,843
With hard shell tacos,
you've got to bite them
238
00:10:21,910 --> 00:10:24,148
from the bottom, like this.
239
00:10:26,118 --> 00:10:27,354
Why?!
240
00:10:27,420 --> 00:10:30,360
Why do I keep buying
hard shells?
241
00:10:30,426 --> 00:10:32,430
I hate them!
242
00:10:32,497 --> 00:10:34,434
Uh, I'm going to Moe's.
243
00:10:34,502 --> 00:10:36,773
At least put on a clean shirt.
244
00:10:37,575 --> 00:10:39,278
Hmm. Mm.
245
00:10:39,378 --> 00:10:40,848
Mm. Hmm.
246
00:10:44,856 --> 00:10:45,758
Homer.
247
00:10:45,825 --> 00:10:47,360
Check it out-- I'm selling
248
00:10:47,427 --> 00:10:49,231
premium Wagyu-style steaks.
249
00:10:49,298 --> 00:10:51,168
The 72-month subscription plan--
250
00:10:51,235 --> 00:10:53,640
it comes with a genuine
landline phone.
251
00:10:53,707 --> 00:10:56,312
I'm too depressed to figure out
what you're saying.
252
00:10:56,412 --> 00:10:58,316
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
253
00:10:58,416 --> 00:11:00,153
That's a Slipreme hoodie.
254
00:11:00,253 --> 00:11:03,760
And that ain't even a knock-off
like these donkey steaks.
255
00:11:04,562 --> 00:11:05,898
I got to post this.
256
00:11:05,965 --> 00:11:08,670
Whoa, someone posted
a picture of me,
257
00:11:08,770 --> 00:11:11,308
and it it's not
for falling down an escalator
258
00:11:11,408 --> 00:11:13,279
or yelling at a parking meter.
259
00:11:13,346 --> 00:11:14,883
Which means I must be...
260
00:11:14,983 --> 00:11:17,822
Cool. Yes, you are now cool.
261
00:11:17,955 --> 00:11:19,926
I've been liked.
262
00:11:19,993 --> 00:11:21,863
Someone enjoyed looking at me.
263
00:11:21,963 --> 00:11:24,903
Finally, I know
how it feels to be stylish.
264
00:11:25,003 --> 00:11:26,706
To be loved for my appearance
265
00:11:26,840 --> 00:11:28,744
instead of judged
for my actions.
266
00:11:28,844 --> 00:11:31,315
This is why people
267
00:11:31,415 --> 00:11:33,252
own more than one outfit.
268
00:11:33,319 --> 00:11:36,091
Thank you, Mike Wegman!
269
00:11:37,728 --> 00:11:40,500
540 flip straight onto your ear.
270
00:11:40,568 --> 00:11:41,937
Oh.
271
00:11:42,003 --> 00:11:43,005
Legendary!
272
00:11:43,105 --> 00:11:44,909
Am I still slurring my's words?
273
00:11:44,976 --> 00:11:47,247
Uh, it's-it's barely noticeable.
274
00:11:47,314 --> 00:11:49,686
Having a movie star dad,
I don't really get
275
00:11:49,752 --> 00:11:51,255
to hang out with regular kids.
276
00:11:51,322 --> 00:11:52,992
With you I can relax,
you know, without having
277
00:11:53,092 --> 00:11:55,396
to redefine our generation's
notion of relaxation.
278
00:11:55,496 --> 00:11:57,000
I guess I envy you.
279
00:11:57,067 --> 00:11:59,672
Isn't that something
rich people say to poor people
280
00:11:59,739 --> 00:12:02,277
so that they feel less guilty
about being rich?
281
00:12:02,344 --> 00:12:05,216
Yes, but for the first time,
I mean it.
282
00:12:05,283 --> 00:12:07,722
You helped me bleed.
Maybe I can help you.
283
00:12:07,822 --> 00:12:10,093
What if we design
a new sneaker together?
284
00:12:10,159 --> 00:12:12,163
A sneaker that
all my friends will buy?
285
00:12:12,264 --> 00:12:15,036
No, a sneaker that all
your friends will want to buy,
286
00:12:15,136 --> 00:12:18,009
but can't, because we won't
make enough of them.
287
00:12:18,109 --> 00:12:20,280
That's even better.
288
00:12:20,346 --> 00:12:22,150
Huh?
289
00:12:23,352 --> 00:12:24,923
What the hell are you wearing?
290
00:12:25,023 --> 00:12:27,862
I know what it is--
a hobo was murdered at a rave,
291
00:12:27,929 --> 00:12:30,901
and Homer's going undercover
to find the killer.
292
00:12:31,001 --> 00:12:33,239
Nah, nah, nah,
he drove a motorcycle
293
00:12:33,339 --> 00:12:36,546
through the clothesline
of a bi-curious farmer.
294
00:12:36,613 --> 00:12:38,984
I was once like you.
295
00:12:39,084 --> 00:12:41,623
Wearing clothes
I bought at the gas station
296
00:12:41,690 --> 00:12:43,392
or found at the beach.
297
00:12:43,459 --> 00:12:46,332
But I've learned something--
when you wear crazy clothes
298
00:12:46,398 --> 00:12:49,471
you don't understand,
you're not you anymore.
299
00:12:49,539 --> 00:12:51,643
You're someone better.
300
00:12:51,743 --> 00:12:53,547
Oh, my God.
301
00:12:53,647 --> 00:12:55,851
I'm beautiful.
302
00:13:03,567 --> 00:13:04,636
Hey.
303
00:13:04,702 --> 00:13:07,273
Well, look at me--
I'm a real Hep Cat.
304
00:13:07,374 --> 00:13:11,448
And not just because
I got Hep C, A and T.
305
00:13:11,516 --> 00:13:13,386
Which, I-I do got those.
306
00:13:13,486 --> 00:13:17,093
We must tell all middle-aged men
that they need not grow old.
307
00:13:17,160 --> 00:13:19,899
Where do the graying masses
gather to worship?
308
00:13:19,966 --> 00:13:22,203
♪ I'm so sophisticated ♪
309
00:13:22,270 --> 00:13:24,976
♪ To get a verse from me,
you gotta be initiated ♪
310
00:13:25,076 --> 00:13:28,082
♪ To get a purse from me,
she gotta be sophisticated ♪
311
00:13:28,149 --> 00:13:31,288
♪ Purchase a whip from me and
never miss a single payment ♪
312
00:13:31,355 --> 00:13:34,294
♪ You wanna be the hottest
but that can get complicated. ♪
313
00:13:34,361 --> 00:13:36,198
Bart, together
we'll design a sneaker
314
00:13:36,265 --> 00:13:39,237
that'll change
sneaker culture forever.
315
00:13:39,338 --> 00:13:41,141
Which, in this business,
is one week.
316
00:14:05,456 --> 00:14:07,595
The Bartman One.
317
00:14:07,695 --> 00:14:10,266
My life has mattered.
318
00:14:10,366 --> 00:14:13,172
Yeah, and it comes
with a sticker in the box.
319
00:14:13,272 --> 00:14:15,343
The release party
is Saturday night.
320
00:14:15,443 --> 00:14:17,047
It's gonna be perfect.
321
00:14:17,113 --> 00:14:19,317
The right music,
the right influencers,
322
00:14:19,418 --> 00:14:21,422
and every single person there
will be young,
323
00:14:21,488 --> 00:14:23,359
cool and beautiful.
324
00:14:23,459 --> 00:14:26,165
Excuse me,
do you have this in a large?
325
00:14:26,265 --> 00:14:28,035
You're buying that for yourself?
326
00:14:28,135 --> 00:14:30,339
But old people don't
know about my clothes.
327
00:14:30,473 --> 00:14:32,143
Unless...
328
00:14:32,210 --> 00:14:33,780
Oh, no.
329
00:14:33,847 --> 00:14:34,882
They're here.
330
00:14:34,982 --> 00:14:36,820
The middle-aged.
331
00:14:36,886 --> 00:14:38,523
The uncool!
332
00:14:46,573 --> 00:14:47,875
This is a nightmare.
333
00:14:47,975 --> 00:14:50,714
My brand's been
discovered by dads.
334
00:14:50,781 --> 00:14:53,252
I'm wearing this to da club.
335
00:14:53,319 --> 00:14:54,956
Da bridge club.
336
00:14:55,056 --> 00:14:56,793
It's like Ed Hardy
all over again.
337
00:14:56,860 --> 00:14:58,964
Who the heck is Ed Hardy?
338
00:14:59,030 --> 00:15:02,070
Ed Hardy was
a California tattoo artist
339
00:15:02,137 --> 00:15:04,107
whose unique designs
were the epitome of cool.
340
00:15:04,174 --> 00:15:05,844
But then, one terrible day,
341
00:15:05,944 --> 00:15:08,449
a newly-divorced dad
wanted to seem younger
342
00:15:08,550 --> 00:15:09,819
on his dating profile.
343
00:15:09,886 --> 00:15:11,623
He bought
a sleeveless tee in XXL
344
00:15:11,689 --> 00:15:13,359
and then posted the picture.
345
00:15:13,426 --> 00:15:15,496
Young people saw
old people wearing the brand,
346
00:15:15,564 --> 00:15:17,902
and weeks later,
a $700 million empire
347
00:15:17,968 --> 00:15:19,572
was sold for scrap.
348
00:15:20,874 --> 00:15:22,812
Stupid old losers.
349
00:15:22,912 --> 00:15:25,249
Slipreme's gonna die.
What do I do?!
350
00:15:25,316 --> 00:15:27,287
I don't know,
but we can think of something.
351
00:15:27,353 --> 00:15:30,259
We're two of the coolest kids
in the world, right?
352
00:15:30,326 --> 00:15:32,565
So cool. You've even
got your own sneaker.
353
00:15:32,665 --> 00:15:34,134
That's cool, isn't it?
354
00:15:34,234 --> 00:15:36,038
I don't even know anymore.
355
00:15:36,105 --> 00:15:38,209
Hey, Bart, thank your old man
356
00:15:38,309 --> 00:15:41,048
for introducing me
to the look of the street.
357
00:15:41,081 --> 00:15:44,922
Wait, Homer's the reason you're
all wearing these clothes?
358
00:15:44,989 --> 00:15:46,659
You know it.
359
00:15:46,726 --> 00:15:48,663
If my dad started this,
360
00:15:48,730 --> 00:15:50,366
maybe he can stop it.
361
00:15:50,433 --> 00:15:52,905
Yes, can I pay
for this paisley tracksuit
362
00:15:52,972 --> 00:15:55,209
with airline miles?
363
00:15:57,581 --> 00:15:59,619
Ooh. Ee. Ooh.
364
00:15:59,685 --> 00:16:01,856
Drop the selfie stick now.
365
00:16:01,923 --> 00:16:03,693
What about my Lookbook?
366
00:16:04,962 --> 00:16:06,566
Stop dressing
your zombie friends up
367
00:16:06,633 --> 00:16:07,935
in the clothes of the living.
368
00:16:08,035 --> 00:16:10,439
Never!
Before I discovered streetwear,
369
00:16:10,507 --> 00:16:12,945
people-- like my son--
370
00:16:13,012 --> 00:16:15,483
treated me
like a dried-up old husk.
371
00:16:15,551 --> 00:16:17,988
Well, you know what I am now?
A wet husk.
372
00:16:18,055 --> 00:16:21,161
Full of juicy corn.
Mmm, corn, Bart.
373
00:16:21,261 --> 00:16:24,635
You hear me? Mmm, corn.
374
00:16:24,702 --> 00:16:27,006
Orion and I made
something amazing together,
375
00:16:27,040 --> 00:16:28,844
and you're ruining it.
376
00:16:28,910 --> 00:16:30,647
Too bad.
377
00:16:30,714 --> 00:16:34,287
'Cause we're all going
to your sneaker release party.
378
00:16:35,323 --> 00:16:37,160
Just because they RSVP'd,
379
00:16:37,293 --> 00:16:39,464
doesn't mean
they're actually coming.
380
00:16:39,532 --> 00:16:41,569
Wrong. My generation
381
00:16:41,669 --> 00:16:43,740
shows up to things.
382
00:16:48,048 --> 00:16:51,388
This is horrible. My Dad
told all his loser friends
383
00:16:51,488 --> 00:16:53,025
about this party.
384
00:16:53,092 --> 00:16:55,931
No, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no.
385
00:16:56,031 --> 00:16:57,935
Aah! It's my dad.
386
00:16:58,002 --> 00:16:59,772
Act like everything's fine.
387
00:16:59,872 --> 00:17:01,809
Son, I've never seen your aura
388
00:17:01,876 --> 00:17:03,947
looking less indigo.
Are you okay?
389
00:17:04,014 --> 00:17:06,084
Nothing-nothing's wrong.
I'm crushing it.
390
00:17:06,184 --> 00:17:08,990
I got this on lock. On lock.
391
00:17:09,057 --> 00:17:10,994
Your words have convinced me.
392
00:17:11,061 --> 00:17:13,065
The washed-up dads
are gonna be here soon.
393
00:17:13,165 --> 00:17:15,269
I read about it in
- The Old-
- Timers Gazette:
394
00:17:15,369 --> 00:17:16,873
Facebook.
395
00:17:16,906 --> 00:17:18,175
I can't handle this.
396
00:17:18,275 --> 00:17:20,781
And my therapist
is pitching his sitcom today.
397
00:17:20,814 --> 00:17:23,520
Which I'm producing.
398
00:17:24,487 --> 00:17:27,060
You said if I ever needed you,
you'd come.
399
00:17:27,193 --> 00:17:29,932
No matter what.
This is that call.
400
00:17:30,032 --> 00:17:33,707
Okie-dokie. Want me to grab you
some mini carrots and hummus?
401
00:17:33,807 --> 00:17:35,510
Yes.
402
00:17:38,115 --> 00:17:39,619
Listen up, people.
403
00:17:39,719 --> 00:17:42,056
For the first time
in your horrible lives,
404
00:17:42,123 --> 00:17:44,996
you are not the lamest losers
in the world.
405
00:17:47,133 --> 00:17:49,404
So if any young person
asks you what you do,
406
00:17:49,505 --> 00:17:53,345
say, "Virtual marketing
for a CBD massage oil startup."
407
00:17:53,445 --> 00:17:56,653
Now everyone take
two precautionary Advil
408
00:17:56,719 --> 00:17:58,757
and let's live forever!
409
00:17:59,926 --> 00:18:01,261
Homer, stop it!
410
00:18:01,328 --> 00:18:04,200
Dads, halt. Let my shorty speak.
411
00:18:04,267 --> 00:18:07,006
Homer, this isn't who you are.
412
00:18:07,106 --> 00:18:09,979
You're right--
it's better than who I am.
413
00:18:10,046 --> 00:18:12,785
This is the man I married.
414
00:18:12,851 --> 00:18:15,022
You call all deli meats baloney.
415
00:18:15,089 --> 00:18:16,826
You carry clippers
on your key chain
416
00:18:16,893 --> 00:18:19,832
so you can cut your nails
in line at the post office.
417
00:18:19,899 --> 00:18:22,671
You spent your stimulus check
on funny bumper stickers
418
00:18:22,738 --> 00:18:25,209
about what you spent your
stimulus check on.
419
00:18:25,276 --> 00:18:27,280
And since the day
I first saw you
420
00:18:27,380 --> 00:18:29,417
moonwalk out of an Arby's,
421
00:18:29,552 --> 00:18:32,056
you've been comfortable
in your own skin.
422
00:18:32,123 --> 00:18:34,327
Until now.
423
00:18:35,697 --> 00:18:38,102
I look...
424
00:18:38,168 --> 00:18:40,072
ridiculous!
425
00:18:40,139 --> 00:18:42,778
I shouldn't be
at a sneaker release party.
426
00:18:42,845 --> 00:18:44,047
I should be at home.
427
00:18:44,147 --> 00:18:47,554
Making microwave popcorn.
428
00:18:47,655 --> 00:18:50,226
My favorite show.
429
00:18:50,326 --> 00:18:52,564
We don't belong here.
430
00:18:52,665 --> 00:18:54,167
Men our age
431
00:18:54,234 --> 00:18:56,673
belong in here.
432
00:18:57,975 --> 00:19:00,413
The Museum of Aviation History.
433
00:19:03,620 --> 00:19:05,189
Oh.
434
00:19:05,222 --> 00:19:07,828
The cross section
of a real B-52.
435
00:19:07,895 --> 00:19:11,736
An IMAX movie about
the golden age of ballooning.
436
00:19:11,803 --> 00:19:15,476
Audio tour by Gary Sinise.
437
00:19:15,544 --> 00:19:18,415
It worked.
They took the dad-bait.
438
00:19:20,019 --> 00:19:21,355
Dad.
439
00:19:21,455 --> 00:19:24,829
You did something no old person
is remotely capable of.
440
00:19:24,862 --> 00:19:26,933
You changed your mind.
441
00:19:27,033 --> 00:19:29,037
I'm sorry
I almost ruined everything
442
00:19:29,104 --> 00:19:31,041
for you and your friend.
443
00:19:31,141 --> 00:19:33,212
I have no business
wearing skatewear.
444
00:19:33,278 --> 00:19:35,483
I don't even like to ice skate.
445
00:19:35,550 --> 00:19:37,453
Oh.
446
00:19:37,521 --> 00:19:40,192
I never got a pair of my own
shoes, and now they're sold out.
447
00:19:40,259 --> 00:19:43,767
Yo, style freaks.
I got counterfeit Bart Ones.
448
00:19:43,833 --> 00:19:45,469
Genuine knockoffs.
449
00:19:45,537 --> 00:19:47,306
Your dumb friends
can't tell the difference
450
00:19:47,373 --> 00:19:49,845
unless you wear 'em
or you look at 'em close.
451
00:19:55,524 --> 00:19:59,064
Thanks, Dad. Sometimes
you are a little bit cool.
452
00:19:59,130 --> 00:20:01,969
Aw.
Buy you a chicken sandwich?
453
00:20:21,374 --> 00:20:23,178
Dad, tonight was a close call.
454
00:20:23,245 --> 00:20:24,749
This party was almost not
a cultural gamechanger.
455
00:20:24,815 --> 00:20:26,986
I hope you're not
disappointed in me.
456
00:20:27,053 --> 00:20:28,990
Oh, you can never let me down,
457
00:20:29,090 --> 00:20:31,128
because I know
exactly how you feel.
458
00:20:31,194 --> 00:20:32,865
Because you're me.
459
00:20:32,965 --> 00:20:34,668
No, Dad. I'm not you.
460
00:20:34,769 --> 00:20:36,204
And I'll never be you.
461
00:20:36,271 --> 00:20:38,610
You're not
hearing what I'm saying.
462
00:20:38,710 --> 00:20:39,979
You're me.
463
00:20:40,012 --> 00:20:42,417
A clone of me.
Like this
464
00:20:43,720 --> 00:20:46,692
You were created on the set
of Duplicate Cop One,
465
00:20:46,759 --> 00:20:49,565
which we filmed
in a real cloning lab.
466
00:20:52,538 --> 00:20:53,907
I knew I could never
love a child
467
00:20:54,007 --> 00:20:57,648
as much as I love myself,
so I made another me:
468
00:20:57,714 --> 00:20:58,516
you.
469
00:20:58,583 --> 00:21:01,421
But how... But I... But...
What?
470
00:21:01,455 --> 00:21:03,693
Didn't you ever wonder
why you don't have a mother?
471
00:21:03,827 --> 00:21:06,833
- Kind of.
- Orion, our cosmic connection
472
00:21:06,899 --> 00:21:08,168
is infinitely deeper
473
00:21:08,268 --> 00:21:10,272
than what a "father"
feels for a "son."
474
00:21:10,372 --> 00:21:12,376
I love you, me.
475
00:21:12,443 --> 00:21:15,149
I love you, too... me.
476
00:21:15,182 --> 00:21:16,284
Mm.
477
00:21:16,384 --> 00:21:19,992
♪ Two badges, one mind. ♪
478
00:21:20,059 --> 00:21:23,198
Captioning sponsored by
20th CENTURY FOX TELEVISION
479
00:21:23,265 --> 00:21:26,204
FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY
480
00:21:26,271 --> 00:21:29,010
And FORD.
We go further, so you can.
481
00:21:29,077 --> 00:21:31,081
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org
482
00:21:31,148 --> 00:21:33,520
Shh.
32404
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