All language subtitles for HarmonQuest - S02E08 - The Keystone Obelisk.eng

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,044 --> 00:00:03,545 - My name is Gribble-Grabble. 2 00:00:03,545 --> 00:00:05,172 You know this giant obelisk appeared 3 00:00:05,172 --> 00:00:07,049 and monsters came out of it, 4 00:00:07,049 --> 00:00:11,053 and I'm super scared 'cause I'm just a little kid. 5 00:00:11,053 --> 00:00:13,347 - Aww. - And this bird just told me 6 00:00:13,347 --> 00:00:14,681 if we want to get into the Western Quarter, 7 00:00:14,681 --> 00:00:16,683 we got to ask the king. 8 00:00:16,683 --> 00:00:18,352 - I think we should keep this kid away from the king. 9 00:00:18,352 --> 00:00:22,481 - Finally! The king is within my sight! 10 00:00:22,481 --> 00:00:24,608 It is I, Grabble-Gribble! 11 00:00:24,608 --> 00:00:27,402 - Oh, no! - Once I kill this king, 12 00:00:27,402 --> 00:00:30,489 I will become king! 13 00:00:30,489 --> 00:00:33,116 [screams] 14 00:00:33,116 --> 00:00:35,369 - If he was gonna kill the king and the king's dead, 15 00:00:35,369 --> 00:00:38,455 then by the bylaws of this land, he is the king. 16 00:00:38,455 --> 00:00:40,832 - I would like to now offer you positions 17 00:00:40,832 --> 00:00:43,210 as knights in my kingdom. 18 00:00:43,210 --> 00:00:47,214 We should be allies and friends. 19 00:00:47,214 --> 00:00:48,382 Right? 20 00:00:48,382 --> 00:00:50,842 [laughter] 21 00:00:50,842 --> 00:00:53,136 Spencer: Since the dawn of the 1970s, 22 00:00:53,136 --> 00:00:55,389 fantasy role-playing games have provided men and women 23 00:00:55,389 --> 00:00:57,849 with an escape from their awkward lives. 24 00:00:57,849 --> 00:01:00,394 Today the most awkward of them all, Dan Harmon, 25 00:01:00,394 --> 00:01:03,230 is summoning celebrity friends to play these games of old 26 00:01:03,230 --> 00:01:05,774 in front of a live studio audience in Hollywood. 27 00:01:05,774 --> 00:01:07,776 I am Spencer, the Game Master, 28 00:01:07,776 --> 00:01:10,237 and this is "HarmonQuest"! 29 00:01:10,237 --> 00:01:13,490 [cheers and applause] 30 00:01:16,702 --> 00:01:20,580 - Welcome back to "HarmonQuest," 31 00:01:20,580 --> 00:01:23,542 the show that will surely burst the bubble 32 00:01:23,542 --> 00:01:25,460 on the nerd revolution. 33 00:01:25,460 --> 00:01:27,129 [laughter] 34 00:01:27,129 --> 00:01:29,715 I am the titular Harmon. I am not the star. 35 00:01:29,715 --> 00:01:32,259 Executive producer and Game Master, Spencer Crittenden. 36 00:01:32,259 --> 00:01:34,803 [cheers and applause] - Hi. 37 00:01:34,803 --> 00:01:37,431 - Erin McGathy, our regular role-player. 38 00:01:37,431 --> 00:01:40,225 [cheers and applause] - Hi. 39 00:01:40,225 --> 00:01:42,436 - Other regular role-player, Jeff Davis. 40 00:01:42,436 --> 00:01:44,604 Uh-oh. 41 00:01:44,604 --> 00:01:47,524 [laughter] 42 00:01:47,524 --> 00:01:48,775 A lot of people don't know this, 43 00:01:48,775 --> 00:01:50,444 but before the lightbulb existed, 44 00:01:50,444 --> 00:01:52,529 that's how a cartoonist depicted an idea. 45 00:01:52,529 --> 00:01:55,282 [laughter] 46 00:01:55,282 --> 00:01:58,410 And our special guest, a celebrity... 47 00:01:58,410 --> 00:02:01,496 - Sure. [laughter] 48 00:02:01,496 --> 00:02:03,749 - Role-player, Elizabeth Olsen. 49 00:02:03,749 --> 00:02:07,627 [cheers and applause] 50 00:02:07,627 --> 00:02:09,504 - Whoo-hoo. 51 00:02:09,504 --> 00:02:12,549 - Are you at all familiar with fantasy role-playing games? 52 00:02:12,549 --> 00:02:15,552 - My familiarity is the first season of "HarmonQuest" 53 00:02:15,552 --> 00:02:17,387 and "Stranger Things." 54 00:02:17,387 --> 00:02:20,349 So I have never--I have never participated, 55 00:02:20,349 --> 00:02:24,895 and I liked playing by myself a lot as a young child 56 00:02:24,895 --> 00:02:27,230 in my mind... 57 00:02:27,230 --> 00:02:29,483 [laughter] But no one ever gave me rules. 58 00:02:29,483 --> 00:02:31,401 - Oh, okay. 59 00:02:31,401 --> 00:02:33,403 For anybody unfamiliar with the process, of course, 60 00:02:33,403 --> 00:02:36,406 the Game Master is like an analog computer console. 61 00:02:36,406 --> 00:02:38,825 He simulates the entire world for us. 62 00:02:38,825 --> 00:02:40,869 We make decisions as our characters 63 00:02:40,869 --> 00:02:42,954 about what we want to try to do, tell him; 64 00:02:42,954 --> 00:02:44,915 he rolls dice, cites rules, 65 00:02:44,915 --> 00:02:46,917 and tells us if we succeeded or failed. 66 00:02:46,917 --> 00:02:52,506 And overall, a very confusing, sloppy story evolves. 67 00:02:52,506 --> 00:02:55,425 So without further ado... 68 00:02:55,425 --> 00:02:57,636 all: Let's Quest! 69 00:02:57,636 --> 00:03:00,597 [cheers and applause] 70 00:03:02,474 --> 00:03:05,936 - You find yourselves in the Throne Room 71 00:03:05,936 --> 00:03:07,771 of the castle of Forlona. 72 00:03:07,771 --> 00:03:09,815 You've just been knighted by the king 73 00:03:09,815 --> 00:03:12,234 and tasked with saving the realm. 74 00:03:12,234 --> 00:03:14,861 The king's vizier is pacing and thinking. 75 00:03:14,861 --> 00:03:18,740 - We believe that this obelisk is channeling the lightning 76 00:03:18,740 --> 00:03:20,534 from the other obelisks, 77 00:03:20,534 --> 00:03:23,620 like a lightning rod, focusing it down underground 78 00:03:23,620 --> 00:03:25,997 where it's feeding into some unknown source 79 00:03:25,997 --> 00:03:28,250 of magical origin. 80 00:03:28,250 --> 00:03:31,878 If we take out the central core in the middle of the obelisk, 81 00:03:31,878 --> 00:03:35,382 this whole thing should come crashing down. 82 00:03:35,382 --> 00:03:37,676 - You see three of these guards are dragging in 83 00:03:37,676 --> 00:03:40,303 a chained and manacled person. 84 00:03:40,303 --> 00:03:42,931 - Prisoner 84 is a notorious arsonist 85 00:03:42,931 --> 00:03:45,350 and vandal we locked up years ago 86 00:03:45,350 --> 00:03:49,020 after she blew up our entire outer wall at once. 87 00:03:49,020 --> 00:03:51,731 But if something needs to be blown up, 88 00:03:51,731 --> 00:03:53,733 she's the person for the job. 89 00:03:53,733 --> 00:03:55,485 - Hey, guys. 90 00:03:55,485 --> 00:03:57,904 [laughter] 91 00:03:57,904 --> 00:04:00,699 - Prisoner--Prisoner 84 is so calm, it's chilling. 92 00:04:00,699 --> 00:04:04,453 - Yeah, well, you know, if you need help blowing stuff up 93 00:04:04,453 --> 00:04:08,415 or destroying things, I love it. 94 00:04:08,415 --> 00:04:10,375 [laughter] 95 00:04:10,375 --> 00:04:12,502 - Do you have a name, or just-- are you just a number? 96 00:04:12,502 --> 00:04:14,921 - My name is Stirrup. 97 00:04:14,921 --> 00:04:16,590 - Like the thing you put your feet in 98 00:04:16,590 --> 00:04:18,758 when you're getting an examination? 99 00:04:18,758 --> 00:04:21,761 - Potentially, yeah. [laughter] 100 00:04:21,761 --> 00:04:25,056 - Well, I think we should put the foot of trust in you. 101 00:04:25,056 --> 00:04:27,058 [laughter] 102 00:04:27,058 --> 00:04:29,811 - I've heard of you, and no one will tell me what you did 103 00:04:29,811 --> 00:04:31,938 to get yourself imprisoned. 104 00:04:31,938 --> 00:04:34,441 Will you tell us? Was it really that bad? 105 00:04:34,441 --> 00:04:37,778 - Yeah, I mean, I thought it was kind of fun. 106 00:04:37,778 --> 00:04:43,783 I called unto the gods to help me destroy this entire town 107 00:04:43,783 --> 00:04:45,577 filled with barbarians. 108 00:04:45,577 --> 00:04:48,455 - Oh. - And... 109 00:04:48,455 --> 00:04:51,833 And so it was more just like fun just to see what would happen, 110 00:04:51,833 --> 00:04:53,960 but then a lot of people got real hurt, 111 00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:55,879 and so they put me in here. 112 00:04:55,879 --> 00:04:57,881 - Hey, vizier. 113 00:04:57,881 --> 00:04:59,799 Is there any equipment that we could arm ourselves with? 114 00:04:59,799 --> 00:05:01,760 - I'm still down a sword 115 00:05:01,760 --> 00:05:03,887 because my sword drank blood and tried to kill everybody. 116 00:05:03,887 --> 00:05:05,639 - Okay. 117 00:05:05,639 --> 00:05:09,601 A bunch of guards drag in a cart laden with items. 118 00:05:09,601 --> 00:05:13,063 You see a long, thin rapier. 119 00:05:13,063 --> 00:05:14,689 - I take it. 120 00:05:14,689 --> 00:05:17,400 - Okay, um, I would like a tackle box 121 00:05:17,400 --> 00:05:22,781 filled with thousands of bombs of different powers and tools. 122 00:05:22,781 --> 00:05:25,742 And maybe just something fun. 123 00:05:25,742 --> 00:05:28,537 - All bombs got blown up by Prisoner 84. 124 00:05:28,537 --> 00:05:30,163 - Oh. - Sorry. 125 00:05:30,163 --> 00:05:33,750 - But we do have a toolkit and something fun. 126 00:05:33,750 --> 00:05:35,669 [laughter] 127 00:05:35,669 --> 00:05:37,754 - Oh, perfect. I'll take it. 128 00:05:37,754 --> 00:05:41,508 - Here's a small wooden dog that tells only truths or lies. 129 00:05:41,508 --> 00:05:43,426 [laughter] 130 00:05:43,426 --> 00:05:45,637 - Really? Really? 131 00:05:45,637 --> 00:05:47,681 That's--oh, my God. This is the best. 132 00:05:47,681 --> 00:05:49,683 This is the best. 133 00:05:49,683 --> 00:05:51,726 - That will come in the opposite of handy. 134 00:05:51,726 --> 00:05:53,395 [laughter] 135 00:05:53,395 --> 00:05:55,188 - He tells only truths or lies. 136 00:05:55,188 --> 00:05:59,025 All right, his name is Higgins. 137 00:05:59,025 --> 00:06:00,193 So we put Higgins in my bag, 138 00:06:00,193 --> 00:06:01,736 and then I also get a tackle box 139 00:06:01,736 --> 00:06:03,863 filled with tools, or a toolbox. 140 00:06:03,863 --> 00:06:05,156 - Yeah, I examine what's left in the cart. 141 00:06:05,156 --> 00:06:06,491 Is there anything else? 142 00:06:06,491 --> 00:06:07,909 - All that's left is, uh, 143 00:06:07,909 --> 00:06:10,996 four glass rings and four leather straps. 144 00:06:10,996 --> 00:06:12,872 - I'll take all the leather straps. 145 00:06:12,872 --> 00:06:15,083 [laughter] 146 00:06:15,083 --> 00:06:17,043 - Are the glass rings on the leather straps? 147 00:06:17,043 --> 00:06:19,713 - No, no. - Is this one of those stores? 148 00:06:19,713 --> 00:06:21,798 [laughter] 149 00:06:21,798 --> 00:06:24,217 - Maybe. - [stammering] Is, uh... 150 00:06:24,217 --> 00:06:27,971 Are we in the House Benoit? 151 00:06:27,971 --> 00:06:29,723 - Feldspa's like... 152 00:06:29,723 --> 00:06:31,850 - These glass rings, they can block your fall. 153 00:06:31,850 --> 00:06:34,561 They only work, like, two or three times, though. 154 00:06:34,561 --> 00:06:35,937 Be careful. 155 00:06:35,937 --> 00:06:38,189 - Uh, what do the leather straps do? 156 00:06:38,189 --> 00:06:39,733 - You bite on 'em. 157 00:06:39,733 --> 00:06:41,484 [laughter] 158 00:06:41,484 --> 00:06:44,070 - After the rings wear off. 159 00:06:44,070 --> 00:06:46,823 - Head on out to the western parapet. 160 00:06:46,823 --> 00:06:48,908 If you're ready. 161 00:06:48,908 --> 00:06:52,078 - Yep. - Cool. 162 00:06:52,078 --> 00:06:53,580 - Bye, Feldspa. 163 00:06:53,580 --> 00:06:55,081 - Bye, Felds. - Good luck. 164 00:06:55,081 --> 00:06:56,958 - Can I take a moment, as they all leave? 165 00:06:56,958 --> 00:06:58,001 I'm the last one to leave the room. 166 00:06:58,001 --> 00:06:59,586 - Sure. 167 00:06:59,586 --> 00:07:02,964 - ♪ Will I find my truth inside ♪ 168 00:07:02,964 --> 00:07:09,596 ♪ Will I find what I have always looking for, did do ♪ 169 00:07:09,596 --> 00:07:11,056 - In that moment, Higgins the Truth or Lie Dog 170 00:07:11,056 --> 00:07:13,516 overhears your question and answers... 171 00:07:13,516 --> 00:07:15,560 - ♪ Will I find the truth I hide ♪ 172 00:07:15,560 --> 00:07:17,103 - No! 173 00:07:17,103 --> 00:07:19,272 - ♪ Will I find the truth I'm living ♪ 174 00:07:19,272 --> 00:07:21,066 - No! - He might be lying. 175 00:07:21,066 --> 00:07:23,610 He's a dog; it tells truth or lies. 176 00:07:23,610 --> 00:07:27,197 All right, let's head towards that western parapet. 177 00:07:27,197 --> 00:07:29,282 - You see cannons, ballistas, and catapults 178 00:07:29,282 --> 00:07:30,950 all positioned over the wall, 179 00:07:30,950 --> 00:07:33,078 as well as a siege crew. 180 00:07:33,078 --> 00:07:35,205 Four dwarves wearing royal adornments. 181 00:07:35,205 --> 00:07:38,958 Far below the wall you can see tons of people 182 00:07:38,958 --> 00:07:40,627 gathered around, looking up at you. 183 00:07:40,627 --> 00:07:43,922 They're chanting, "Fondue! Buer!" 184 00:07:43,922 --> 00:07:45,924 Those words. - I assume that the reason 185 00:07:45,924 --> 00:07:49,678 they're not cheering me, even though I saved the world, 186 00:07:49,678 --> 00:07:51,930 is because I'm so short that they can't see me 187 00:07:51,930 --> 00:07:53,306 over the parapet. 188 00:07:53,306 --> 00:07:55,308 - You assume that. - All right. 189 00:07:55,308 --> 00:07:56,810 [laughter] 190 00:07:56,810 --> 00:07:58,103 - You know, it occurs to me 191 00:07:58,103 --> 00:07:59,646 that because you were gone for a year 192 00:07:59,646 --> 00:08:01,690 and you were the one that disappeared, 193 00:08:01,690 --> 00:08:04,693 that you're not getting as much reward 194 00:08:04,693 --> 00:08:06,820 from our first campaign as other people, 195 00:08:06,820 --> 00:08:08,613 and I want to make that up to you. 196 00:08:08,613 --> 00:08:10,990 And I give him that scroll that I autographed. 197 00:08:10,990 --> 00:08:13,618 - Oh, my God. 198 00:08:13,618 --> 00:08:15,328 - I take your autograph scroll 199 00:08:15,328 --> 00:08:17,247 and I put it in my knapsack. 200 00:08:17,247 --> 00:08:18,832 I'll keep that. Thank you. 201 00:08:18,832 --> 00:08:21,084 It's nice to know somebody famous. 202 00:08:21,084 --> 00:08:23,002 - So why are we hanging out on this-- 203 00:08:23,002 --> 00:08:25,255 are we supposed to, like, hurt-- like, destroy things? 204 00:08:25,255 --> 00:08:27,841 - There's four dwarves that are just watching you talk, 205 00:08:27,841 --> 00:08:29,217 impatiently. 206 00:08:29,217 --> 00:08:33,179 - The name's Listicle. I'm a dwarf. 207 00:08:33,179 --> 00:08:34,889 - Listicle, where's the obelisk? 208 00:08:34,889 --> 00:08:36,641 - Oh, man, we'll shoot you right at it. 209 00:08:36,641 --> 00:08:38,977 It'll be great. You got those rings on. 210 00:08:38,977 --> 00:08:42,188 Just say the word "chunder" and you'll float gently down. 211 00:08:42,188 --> 00:08:45,275 Now, you long folk, keep your heads down. 212 00:08:45,275 --> 00:08:47,235 Whiplash hurts you more. 213 00:08:47,235 --> 00:08:49,320 - I'm an elf, so I'm chilling. 214 00:08:49,320 --> 00:08:51,322 - Classic long folk. 215 00:08:51,322 --> 00:08:52,699 - You're like the longest of folk. 216 00:08:52,699 --> 00:08:54,117 - Am I? - Yeah. 217 00:08:54,117 --> 00:08:56,202 - I wasn't given a visual. - Height? 218 00:08:56,202 --> 00:08:58,663 - It says half-elf, so I didn't know if that was, like, 219 00:08:58,663 --> 00:09:00,707 referring to my size... 220 00:09:00,707 --> 00:09:02,917 - Nah. [laughter] 221 00:09:02,917 --> 00:09:04,878 - Like elf is a... [laughs] 222 00:09:04,878 --> 00:09:06,880 - Like a mini. - Like, from the legs down 223 00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:08,047 you're elf. 224 00:09:08,047 --> 00:09:10,091 - She's like, knee-high elf. 225 00:09:10,091 --> 00:09:12,761 - And then it says size M, so that means I'm... 226 00:09:12,761 --> 00:09:14,220 - Like, a medium. - I'm a medium. 227 00:09:14,220 --> 00:09:16,681 Okay, cool. - I think he's small size. 228 00:09:16,681 --> 00:09:19,976 - I'm small. I'm wearing a petit top. 229 00:09:19,976 --> 00:09:21,644 [laughter] 230 00:09:21,644 --> 00:09:22,812 - Are there four catapults? - Yeah. 231 00:09:22,812 --> 00:09:23,980 - Okay, so I climb into one, 232 00:09:23,980 --> 00:09:25,190 and I'm gonna curl up in a ball, 233 00:09:25,190 --> 00:09:26,399 heeding that whiplash warning, 234 00:09:26,399 --> 00:09:28,193 'cause I'm a big fatty pants. 235 00:09:28,193 --> 00:09:30,653 - I climb into one and just spread eagle 236 00:09:30,653 --> 00:09:31,905 because I'm so small. 237 00:09:31,905 --> 00:09:33,698 I just lay in it like... 238 00:09:33,698 --> 00:09:35,742 - You're like a spider. You might never land. 239 00:09:35,742 --> 00:09:39,078 - I tend to get turned on when I'm being launched. 240 00:09:39,078 --> 00:09:40,163 - Sure. - Oh, jeez. 241 00:09:40,163 --> 00:09:43,082 - So as I get... 242 00:09:43,082 --> 00:09:44,709 - Here goes the barbarian. 243 00:09:44,709 --> 00:09:47,253 [laughter] 244 00:09:47,253 --> 00:09:48,421 - Typical long folk. 245 00:09:48,421 --> 00:09:50,840 - Typical barbarians. 246 00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:52,675 Do we need to do anything 247 00:09:52,675 --> 00:09:54,844 in order to make the catapult launch? 248 00:09:54,844 --> 00:09:56,429 - I think we all have to do, like, 249 00:09:56,429 --> 00:09:58,807 a linked high-five from catapult to catapult. 250 00:09:58,807 --> 00:10:00,016 Like... 251 00:10:00,016 --> 00:10:01,226 All right. - Okay. 252 00:10:01,226 --> 00:10:02,977 - So we're all touching hands. 253 00:10:02,977 --> 00:10:04,395 We all got leather straps in our mouths now... 254 00:10:04,395 --> 00:10:05,730 [laughter] 255 00:10:05,730 --> 00:10:07,941 - And I'm super turned on. 256 00:10:07,941 --> 00:10:09,400 - Super turned on. [laughter] 257 00:10:09,400 --> 00:10:11,319 - Fire. Spencer: We get launched. 258 00:10:11,319 --> 00:10:12,737 all: Whoo! 259 00:10:12,737 --> 00:10:14,197 - Chunder! - Chunder! 260 00:10:14,197 --> 00:10:16,366 Spencer: Streaking through the air 261 00:10:16,366 --> 00:10:18,326 at incredible speeds, you see the obelisk growing in size 262 00:10:18,326 --> 00:10:19,702 as you approach it. 263 00:10:19,702 --> 00:10:21,287 - It turns me on even more. 264 00:10:21,287 --> 00:10:24,457 Spencer: Lightning... - Whoa! 265 00:10:24,457 --> 00:10:26,000 Spencer: Lightning crackles through the air, 266 00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:27,293 arcing from the sky. 267 00:10:27,293 --> 00:10:29,087 As you activate your rings, 268 00:10:29,087 --> 00:10:30,964 you float gently down onto the roof 269 00:10:30,964 --> 00:10:32,882 of this ritual structure. 270 00:10:32,882 --> 00:10:35,343 - ♪ Friendship on obelisks ♪ 271 00:10:35,343 --> 00:10:37,929 ♪ What will happen, what will we risk ♪ 272 00:10:37,929 --> 00:10:40,932 ♪ I look for doors and more ♪ 273 00:10:40,932 --> 00:10:43,685 - Can I take out my hammer and just kind of, like, nudge him 274 00:10:43,685 --> 00:10:44,727 to stop singing? 275 00:10:44,727 --> 00:10:46,187 [laughter] 276 00:10:46,187 --> 00:10:48,189 - Yes. 277 00:10:48,189 --> 00:10:49,899 - Is there, like, any hatchways or entrances 278 00:10:49,899 --> 00:10:51,192 on top of this obelisk? 279 00:10:51,192 --> 00:10:52,443 Or do we have to descend the hole? 280 00:10:52,443 --> 00:10:54,028 - I can make a hole, if you want. 281 00:10:54,028 --> 00:10:56,447 So I, like, take out one of my little bombs 282 00:10:56,447 --> 00:11:00,743 and drop it to make a hole in the obelisk. 283 00:11:00,743 --> 00:11:02,036 - Okay, quick safety lecture. 284 00:11:02,036 --> 00:11:04,122 We're about to be exposed to some-- 285 00:11:04,122 --> 00:11:06,416 why am I doing a joke for just the camera crew? 286 00:11:06,416 --> 00:11:09,919 [laughter] 287 00:11:14,007 --> 00:11:15,884 - Right before she throws the bomb, 288 00:11:15,884 --> 00:11:18,136 I still look for actual hatchways before we start 289 00:11:18,136 --> 00:11:19,929 blowing shit up. 290 00:11:19,929 --> 00:11:22,307 - You do see a large hatch. - Okay, all right. 291 00:11:22,307 --> 00:11:23,933 All right. - It seems to be 292 00:11:23,933 --> 00:11:25,518 welded or sealed shut. 293 00:11:25,518 --> 00:11:28,354 There's not really any handles or locking mechanisms. 294 00:11:28,354 --> 00:11:31,232 It's just this secure metal thing, 295 00:11:31,232 --> 00:11:32,901 set into the stone. 296 00:11:32,901 --> 00:11:34,360 - So why don't I go with my first plan-- 297 00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:37,030 - Yeah. - No offense, little person. 298 00:11:37,030 --> 00:11:40,033 But... - Wow. Wow. 299 00:11:40,033 --> 00:11:41,784 - And just drop a bomb? 300 00:11:41,784 --> 00:11:43,411 - You count to three, 301 00:11:43,411 --> 00:11:45,038 and on three I'm gonna use my Boots of Mad Hops 302 00:11:45,038 --> 00:11:47,040 and just jump up in the air 303 00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:49,042 to get myself away from the blast radius of the bomb. 304 00:11:49,042 --> 00:11:51,836 - Well, you better time that pretty well. 305 00:11:51,836 --> 00:11:53,212 I get my little bomb, my cute bomb, 306 00:11:53,212 --> 00:11:55,048 that is one of my favorites. 307 00:11:55,048 --> 00:11:56,758 You guys, everyone watch out. 308 00:11:56,758 --> 00:11:58,927 One, two, three... - I jump. 309 00:11:58,927 --> 00:11:59,928 - Da bomb. 310 00:11:59,928 --> 00:12:02,764 [laughter] 311 00:12:02,764 --> 00:12:05,099 Spencer: And a hole is blown in the hatch. 312 00:12:05,099 --> 00:12:06,476 - You guys okay? Everyone okay? 313 00:12:06,476 --> 00:12:08,478 Everyone cool? - I just landed. 314 00:12:08,478 --> 00:12:10,396 [laughter] 315 00:12:10,396 --> 00:12:11,814 - Nice hops. 316 00:12:11,814 --> 00:12:13,316 - Also, my Boots of Mad Hops, 317 00:12:13,316 --> 00:12:15,485 I also made you guys a delicious IPA. 318 00:12:15,485 --> 00:12:18,237 - Oh, okay. [laughter] 319 00:12:18,237 --> 00:12:20,365 Spencer: You hop down into a room. 320 00:12:20,365 --> 00:12:23,242 On the ground you can see a large rectangular mirror. 321 00:12:23,242 --> 00:12:25,036 It's covered in rubble, 322 00:12:25,036 --> 00:12:27,121 but it's reflecting a ceiling mosaic, 323 00:12:27,121 --> 00:12:30,458 despite their being no roof from the explosion. 324 00:12:30,458 --> 00:12:32,543 - Weird. 325 00:12:32,543 --> 00:12:33,962 Spencer: Embedded in the walls of this circular room 326 00:12:33,962 --> 00:12:36,089 are seven thick glass tubes, 327 00:12:36,089 --> 00:12:38,091 glowing white with energy. 328 00:12:38,091 --> 00:12:40,969 The tubes seem to be transmitting mana or energy 329 00:12:40,969 --> 00:12:43,054 downwards through the floor, 330 00:12:43,054 --> 00:12:45,890 and each tube has a single upturned brass hook on it, 331 00:12:45,890 --> 00:12:47,475 about eye-level. 332 00:12:47,475 --> 00:12:49,268 - Well, not his eye level, but our eye level? 333 00:12:49,268 --> 00:12:53,898 - Look... [laughter] 334 00:12:53,898 --> 00:12:55,274 - That's really good. 335 00:12:55,274 --> 00:12:57,026 - Does a goblin have to bite a bitch? 336 00:12:57,026 --> 00:12:58,820 [laughter] 337 00:12:58,820 --> 00:13:02,156 - I actually wouldn't mess with the half-elf, 338 00:13:02,156 --> 00:13:03,866 to tell you the truth. 339 00:13:03,866 --> 00:13:06,411 I love destroying all things that come in my way, 340 00:13:06,411 --> 00:13:08,329 so, like, I would keep your distance. 341 00:13:08,329 --> 00:13:10,373 - Let's stay on the same team until further notice. 342 00:13:10,373 --> 00:13:12,166 - Sure, maybe you should just bite on that leather strap 343 00:13:12,166 --> 00:13:13,292 a little bit more. - I'm gonna fuckin' bite 344 00:13:13,292 --> 00:13:15,461 on your face in a second. 345 00:13:15,461 --> 00:13:17,839 - Hey, man, leave her alone! 346 00:13:17,839 --> 00:13:19,048 - Thanks, Fondue. 347 00:13:19,048 --> 00:13:22,051 [laughter] 348 00:13:22,051 --> 00:13:23,511 - And Spencer's saying that the floor is reflecting 349 00:13:23,511 --> 00:13:25,304 the ceiling? 350 00:13:25,304 --> 00:13:27,265 Spencer: There's a mirror on the floor 351 00:13:27,265 --> 00:13:29,225 that's reflecting a nonexistent ceiling mosaic 352 00:13:29,225 --> 00:13:31,185 because the ceiling has been blown a hole in it. 353 00:13:31,185 --> 00:13:33,187 - I'm gonna pull one of the handles at one of the tubes 354 00:13:33,187 --> 00:13:35,064 and see what happens. - It's just a hook. 355 00:13:35,064 --> 00:13:37,316 You can pull on it, but it's affixed to the wall. 356 00:13:37,316 --> 00:13:39,193 - I hang my jack on it. - Cool. 357 00:13:39,193 --> 00:13:40,945 [laughter] 358 00:13:40,945 --> 00:13:42,488 - All right, I take my jacket back. 359 00:13:42,488 --> 00:13:43,906 By the way, I have a jacket. 360 00:13:45,491 --> 00:13:48,369 - I open up my toolbox. 361 00:13:48,369 --> 00:13:50,329 Spencer: You see a bubble level. 362 00:13:50,329 --> 00:13:52,415 - Great. 363 00:13:52,415 --> 00:13:55,334 Are there any--are there any tools that look like 364 00:13:55,334 --> 00:14:00,173 I could use to unscrew a hook or, like, a grappling hook? 365 00:14:00,173 --> 00:14:02,050 Is there anything like a grappling hook? 366 00:14:02,050 --> 00:14:03,885 - Uh, no. No grappling hook. 367 00:14:03,885 --> 00:14:05,511 - I want to examine one of these hooks more closely. 368 00:14:05,511 --> 00:14:07,638 It's just a thing that's meant to hold weight? 369 00:14:07,638 --> 00:14:11,476 - Yeah, it seems like it's been burnished or scratched recently. 370 00:14:11,476 --> 00:14:13,394 Not recently; it just seems worn. 371 00:14:13,394 --> 00:14:15,521 You know, as if it's been used as some sort of hook. 372 00:14:15,521 --> 00:14:18,149 - All right, look around for shit that would go on a hook. 373 00:14:18,149 --> 00:14:19,567 - There's a mirror in the center of the floor. 374 00:14:19,567 --> 00:14:21,277 - Uh... 375 00:14:21,277 --> 00:14:24,113 - Wait, wait, wait. I can fix broken things. 376 00:14:24,113 --> 00:14:25,990 Would that help with this mosaic? 377 00:14:25,990 --> 00:14:27,325 - Um, it could. 378 00:14:27,325 --> 00:14:29,410 - That's great. How about my family? 379 00:14:29,410 --> 00:14:31,954 [laughter] - Um... 380 00:14:31,954 --> 00:14:33,539 Yeah... 381 00:14:33,539 --> 00:14:35,374 I can talk to them for you. 382 00:14:35,374 --> 00:14:37,085 I can talk to the dead, if you'd like. 383 00:14:37,085 --> 00:14:38,711 - Can you? - Is there anyone specifically 384 00:14:38,711 --> 00:14:40,171 you want me to reach out to? 385 00:14:40,171 --> 00:14:42,423 - Yeah, my twin brother, Limerick. 386 00:14:42,423 --> 00:14:44,717 - Cool; so I'm gonna do one of my spells 387 00:14:44,717 --> 00:14:46,511 where I can talk to the dead. 388 00:14:46,511 --> 00:14:48,471 - All right, well, there's no corpses around here. 389 00:14:48,471 --> 00:14:51,390 - I have his jaw. - Okay, maybe that'll work. 390 00:14:51,390 --> 00:14:54,227 - I take his jaw off my bone belt. 391 00:14:54,227 --> 00:14:55,728 - I cast my speak-of-the-dead spell. 392 00:14:55,728 --> 00:14:57,480 Limerick? 393 00:14:57,480 --> 00:14:59,649 - Yeah, yeah. I'm this jaw on the floor. 394 00:14:59,649 --> 00:15:01,317 - What's up? 395 00:15:01,317 --> 00:15:04,028 So we're trying to figure out 396 00:15:04,028 --> 00:15:06,364 how to do something in this room. 397 00:15:06,364 --> 00:15:07,406 - Hmm. - I heard you're, like, 398 00:15:07,406 --> 00:15:08,741 a specialist with hooks? 399 00:15:08,741 --> 00:15:10,409 - I've used a hook, sure. 400 00:15:10,409 --> 00:15:13,079 - How did you use a hook most effectively? 401 00:15:13,079 --> 00:15:15,581 - I hung stuff on it. - So... 402 00:15:15,581 --> 00:15:17,583 Okay, thanks, Limerick. Bye. 403 00:15:17,583 --> 00:15:19,252 - No! No! No! 404 00:15:19,252 --> 00:15:22,213 [laughter] 405 00:15:23,422 --> 00:15:26,968 - Can we please get back to work? 406 00:15:26,968 --> 00:15:29,262 - So I think we get all of our heaviest-- 407 00:15:29,262 --> 00:15:30,555 why don't we get all our heaviest stuff 408 00:15:30,555 --> 00:15:32,473 and start hanging on these hooks 409 00:15:32,473 --> 00:15:34,392 and see if they move? 410 00:15:34,392 --> 00:15:35,726 - I pick up Fondue, 411 00:15:35,726 --> 00:15:39,272 and I throw him up towards the hook. 412 00:15:39,272 --> 00:15:40,773 Spencer: You catch your collar on the hook 413 00:15:40,773 --> 00:15:42,191 and you're hanging from the hook. 414 00:15:42,191 --> 00:15:44,026 You can see across the hook 415 00:15:44,026 --> 00:15:46,279 like a wall between two of these tubes now. 416 00:15:46,279 --> 00:15:48,614 And there's a mirror on the floor. 417 00:15:48,614 --> 00:15:50,366 - I--I-- [laughter] 418 00:15:50,366 --> 00:15:52,118 Yeah, we see a mosaic in it. 419 00:15:52,118 --> 00:15:53,244 - I take out my crowbar 420 00:15:53,244 --> 00:15:55,079 and I smash the mirror. 421 00:15:55,079 --> 00:15:57,623 - You feel that the mirror is magic in some way. 422 00:15:57,623 --> 00:16:00,459 It resists normal attacks. 423 00:16:00,459 --> 00:16:02,420 - In the mirror-- I just want to confirm, 424 00:16:02,420 --> 00:16:04,422 these hooks, they correspond to the seven points 425 00:16:04,422 --> 00:16:06,174 of the stars, obviously. 426 00:16:06,174 --> 00:16:08,634 Like, there's nothing-- there's no pattern 427 00:16:08,634 --> 00:16:09,719 to be gleaned. 428 00:16:09,719 --> 00:16:11,304 It's just hooks 429 00:16:11,304 --> 00:16:13,014 with scratches on 'em. 430 00:16:13,014 --> 00:16:14,640 There's nothing else in the fuckin' room. 431 00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:17,226 - Other than a mirror. - Other than a mirror. 432 00:16:17,226 --> 00:16:18,811 And a ceiling that-- - Sitting on the floor. 433 00:16:18,811 --> 00:16:21,480 - Yeah? 434 00:16:21,480 --> 00:16:23,441 [laughter] 435 00:16:23,441 --> 00:16:25,151 - Okay. - What? 436 00:16:25,151 --> 00:16:26,194 - Pick up the mirror. - What do you mean, 437 00:16:26,194 --> 00:16:28,029 pick up the mirror? 438 00:16:28,029 --> 00:16:29,530 - What do you not mean, pick up the mirror? 439 00:16:29,530 --> 00:16:31,324 - I thought the floor was a mirror. 440 00:16:31,324 --> 00:16:32,742 - The fuckin' floor is the mirror! 441 00:16:32,742 --> 00:16:34,493 - There's a mirror on the floor. 442 00:16:34,493 --> 00:16:36,245 There's a mirror on the floor. 443 00:16:36,245 --> 00:16:37,830 - I thought the floor was a mirror. 444 00:16:37,830 --> 00:16:40,124 - I walk up to the mirror 445 00:16:40,124 --> 00:16:41,667 and I don't pick it up. 446 00:16:43,294 --> 00:16:46,297 - As you were-- described poorly... 447 00:16:46,297 --> 00:16:47,465 [laughter] 448 00:16:47,465 --> 00:16:49,508 We thought you were the floor. 449 00:16:49,508 --> 00:16:51,385 We can't all be crazy at the same time. 450 00:16:51,385 --> 00:16:52,720 - I walk over to the mirror 451 00:16:52,720 --> 00:16:54,555 and then I pick it up. 452 00:16:54,555 --> 00:16:57,433 I take the mirror, use Boots of Mad Hops 453 00:16:57,433 --> 00:16:59,268 to hang the mirror on one of the hooks. 454 00:16:59,268 --> 00:17:00,394 - All right. 455 00:17:00,394 --> 00:17:02,355 You hang up the mirror. 456 00:17:02,355 --> 00:17:04,482 In the reflection you can see on the far wall a sign. 457 00:17:04,482 --> 00:17:07,610 It says, "Hey. Nice." 458 00:17:07,610 --> 00:17:09,403 [laughter] 459 00:17:09,403 --> 00:17:10,696 - Let's try each hook. 460 00:17:10,696 --> 00:17:12,448 - I'll do the next hook. - Okay. 461 00:17:12,448 --> 00:17:14,283 - I'm gonna just hang it up 462 00:17:14,283 --> 00:17:15,576 'cause I don't need mad hops. 463 00:17:15,576 --> 00:17:16,744 [laughter] 464 00:17:16,744 --> 00:17:18,371 Because it's at my eye line. 465 00:17:18,371 --> 00:17:21,249 - Your mad hops are your spinal cord. 466 00:17:21,249 --> 00:17:22,708 Spencer: You hang the mirror on the wall, 467 00:17:22,708 --> 00:17:24,543 and in the mirror you can see a door. 468 00:17:24,543 --> 00:17:26,462 [all scream] 469 00:17:26,462 --> 00:17:27,880 - You guys, I see a door! 470 00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:29,548 - Ah! Open fit. 471 00:17:29,548 --> 00:17:32,385 I open fit. I'm opening fit. 472 00:17:32,385 --> 00:17:33,844 [screams] 473 00:17:33,844 --> 00:17:35,638 - You're only looking at a mirror. 474 00:17:35,638 --> 00:17:37,390 - No, I ran over to where the reflection 475 00:17:37,390 --> 00:17:39,350 of the door was, and I'm going like this. 476 00:17:39,350 --> 00:17:41,143 - You don't feel it or anything. 477 00:17:41,143 --> 00:17:42,228 - I'm giving it space work. I took improv workshops. 478 00:17:42,228 --> 00:17:44,105 - Yeah, yeah. 479 00:17:44,105 --> 00:17:45,815 - Oh, so we actually have no connection to the door. 480 00:17:45,815 --> 00:17:48,484 - He doesn't feel-- he's not feeling any door there. 481 00:17:48,484 --> 00:17:50,403 - But is there still some sort of door, 482 00:17:50,403 --> 00:17:52,363 even though, through the mirror, 483 00:17:52,363 --> 00:17:54,740 it looks like a door, but through our own naked eye, 484 00:17:54,740 --> 00:17:56,617 it's just a wall? 485 00:17:56,617 --> 00:17:58,244 - Yeah, you don't-- - So there is a door there. 486 00:17:58,244 --> 00:17:59,620 - Well, you don't see any door there. 487 00:17:59,620 --> 00:18:00,705 - You see the door in the mirror. 488 00:18:00,705 --> 00:18:02,415 - So there is a door. 489 00:18:02,415 --> 00:18:03,457 - Well, I'm not saying that. - In the mirror. 490 00:18:03,457 --> 00:18:04,667 - If I used my hammer 491 00:18:04,667 --> 00:18:06,294 and just, like, hit the wall, 492 00:18:06,294 --> 00:18:07,628 would it reveal a door? 493 00:18:07,628 --> 00:18:09,338 - Uh, you could try. 494 00:18:09,338 --> 00:18:10,756 - Okay, I'm gonna try that. 495 00:18:10,756 --> 00:18:12,383 I'm gonna take out my big hammer and... 496 00:18:12,383 --> 00:18:14,593 Ah! 497 00:18:15,595 --> 00:18:16,721 Spencer: You hit the wall, but it clangs 498 00:18:16,721 --> 00:18:18,597 as if it's a door. 499 00:18:18,597 --> 00:18:20,308 - While the mirror is still hanging on that hook, 500 00:18:20,308 --> 00:18:21,684 I try to put my hand through the mirror 501 00:18:21,684 --> 00:18:23,311 that's reflecting the door. 502 00:18:23,311 --> 00:18:25,396 - All right, you do that. 503 00:18:25,396 --> 00:18:27,606 - Okay, I start walking through the mirror. 504 00:18:27,606 --> 00:18:29,442 Spencer: You walk into the mirror 505 00:18:29,442 --> 00:18:30,901 and you're in another room with a door. 506 00:18:30,901 --> 00:18:33,279 [cheers and applause] - Wow. 507 00:18:33,279 --> 00:18:35,281 - So I guess we should all go into here. 508 00:18:35,281 --> 00:18:37,158 - Let's all walk through the mirror together. 509 00:18:37,158 --> 00:18:38,868 Spencer: All right, you're in that door room. 510 00:18:38,868 --> 00:18:40,786 - I open the door. 511 00:18:40,786 --> 00:18:41,871 Spencer: You enter a room that's crisscrossed 512 00:18:41,871 --> 00:18:43,664 with deep grooves. 513 00:18:43,664 --> 00:18:45,666 Floating in the middle of the chamber 514 00:18:45,666 --> 00:18:48,961 is an undulating orange blob of goopy flowing magic. 515 00:18:48,961 --> 00:18:51,172 - Is this what we need to destroy? 516 00:18:51,172 --> 00:18:52,631 - Sure. - Throw your biggest bomb 517 00:18:52,631 --> 00:18:55,551 in there. - I have a huge bomb. 518 00:18:55,551 --> 00:18:57,511 - Maybe we should get out of the room. 519 00:18:57,511 --> 00:19:00,306 You do that, and we'll just catch you on the other side. 520 00:19:00,306 --> 00:19:01,807 - Yeah, it's like, you throw the bomb; 521 00:19:01,807 --> 00:19:03,476 we'll catch you on the flip-flop. 522 00:19:03,476 --> 00:19:05,561 - Yeah, it's cool. I'm a professional. 523 00:19:05,561 --> 00:19:07,438 - As she's throwing the bomb, I look to Higgins and I say, 524 00:19:07,438 --> 00:19:08,522 is this gonna work? 525 00:19:08,522 --> 00:19:09,732 - Yes. 526 00:19:09,732 --> 00:19:11,817 [laughter] 527 00:19:11,817 --> 00:19:14,195 Spencer: Hurling the bomb into the globe of energy, 528 00:19:14,195 --> 00:19:16,280 the globe engulfs the bomb. 529 00:19:16,280 --> 00:19:17,573 - Run! Towards that. 530 00:19:17,573 --> 00:19:19,325 - Through the mirror. 531 00:19:19,325 --> 00:19:21,494 Spencer: You jump through the mirror 532 00:19:21,494 --> 00:19:22,703 and you find yourself falling, falling out of the obelisk. 533 00:19:22,703 --> 00:19:24,580 all: Chunder! 534 00:19:24,580 --> 00:19:28,417 Spencer: Right as the obelisk explodes. 535 00:19:28,417 --> 00:19:32,546 - As I float down, it turns out I have one of those wing suits. 536 00:19:32,546 --> 00:19:36,592 And I kind of, like, I just spiral gradually to earth. 537 00:19:36,592 --> 00:19:41,472 And I'm like--I have a Go-Pro on my head. 538 00:19:41,472 --> 00:19:44,266 - As everybody knows, barbarians get turned on 539 00:19:44,266 --> 00:19:45,893 as their being launched. 540 00:19:45,893 --> 00:19:48,229 So that's happened, and I take out my smoke stick 541 00:19:48,229 --> 00:19:49,313 and I just go... [puffs] 542 00:19:49,313 --> 00:19:51,232 As I'm floating. 543 00:19:51,232 --> 00:19:53,526 Spencer: As you land, the crowd of townsfolk 544 00:19:53,526 --> 00:19:55,611 starts to cheer and applaud. 545 00:19:55,611 --> 00:19:57,905 - Boneweevil! Pillar breaker! 546 00:19:57,905 --> 00:20:00,491 Savior Forlona! 547 00:20:00,491 --> 00:20:03,536 - I killed the pillar! 548 00:20:03,536 --> 00:20:07,915 - Boneweevil! Boneweevil! Yay! 549 00:20:07,915 --> 00:20:10,876 - Hey, I don't know where you townspeople 550 00:20:10,876 --> 00:20:12,545 get your information, 551 00:20:12,545 --> 00:20:14,338 but it was a team effort. 552 00:20:14,338 --> 00:20:15,673 - You're old news! 553 00:20:15,673 --> 00:20:18,551 [laughter] 554 00:20:18,551 --> 00:20:21,262 - You hear a welcoming silence. 555 00:20:21,262 --> 00:20:23,305 [applause] 556 00:20:23,305 --> 00:20:25,349 The sound of no more thunder, 557 00:20:25,349 --> 00:20:26,892 no more lightning. 558 00:20:26,892 --> 00:20:28,894 The obelisk network has gone down, 559 00:20:28,894 --> 00:20:32,022 but the storm clouds still loom up ahead. 560 00:20:32,022 --> 00:20:34,358 - Stirrup, thanks for your help. 561 00:20:34,358 --> 00:20:36,569 - You know what, no problem. 562 00:20:36,569 --> 00:20:38,863 - Will we ever see you again? 563 00:20:38,863 --> 00:20:40,614 - I don't know. 564 00:20:40,614 --> 00:20:41,907 That would be nice if that could happen. 565 00:20:41,907 --> 00:20:43,659 I think I want to-- 566 00:20:43,659 --> 00:20:44,827 I think I want to be a free being, you know? 567 00:20:44,827 --> 00:20:46,537 I've been in prison for a while, 568 00:20:46,537 --> 00:20:49,457 and I think I got some more shit to blow up. 569 00:20:49,457 --> 00:20:52,543 - Did you kill Limerick, my brother, directly? 570 00:20:52,543 --> 00:20:53,836 Was that you? 571 00:20:53,836 --> 00:20:56,547 - I truly did not take a roster 572 00:20:56,547 --> 00:20:58,883 before any of the bombings. 573 00:20:58,883 --> 00:21:00,885 [laughter] 574 00:21:00,885 --> 00:21:02,970 Spencer: But your questioning is cut short. 575 00:21:02,970 --> 00:21:05,431 The clouds above explode 576 00:21:05,431 --> 00:21:07,349 as a massive floating castle 577 00:21:07,349 --> 00:21:09,768 breaks through the stormy canopy. 578 00:21:09,768 --> 00:21:12,438 The structure glows as it sends down a bright pillar 579 00:21:12,438 --> 00:21:14,398 of luminescence into the city below. 580 00:21:14,398 --> 00:21:16,484 And you can hear the cackling of the witch 581 00:21:16,484 --> 00:21:19,862 as the lasers continue to surround the ground and light. 582 00:21:19,862 --> 00:21:22,448 It's a hostile takeover! 583 00:21:22,448 --> 00:21:24,533 But will our heroes be able to wrest control 584 00:21:24,533 --> 00:21:27,453 of the city from Celti's clutches? 585 00:21:27,453 --> 00:21:29,830 How could they even get into a flying castle? 586 00:21:29,830 --> 00:21:33,375 And what would be Stirrup's fate? 587 00:21:33,375 --> 00:21:35,836 Find out next time on "HarmonQuest." 588 00:21:35,836 --> 00:21:37,338 - Oh... 589 00:21:37,338 --> 00:21:40,508 [cheers and applause] 590 00:21:40,508 --> 00:21:43,052 - Spencer Crittenden, everybody. 591 00:21:43,052 --> 00:21:46,347 Erin McGathy. Jeff Davis. 592 00:21:46,347 --> 00:21:49,934 Elizabeth Olsen. 593 00:21:49,934 --> 00:21:53,354 I am Harmon. This has been my quest. 594 00:21:53,354 --> 00:21:55,523 We'll see you next episode. 595 00:21:55,523 --> 00:21:58,442 Now go watch a rerun of "Saturday Night Live." 596 00:21:58,442 --> 00:22:00,903 [laughter] 597 00:22:00,903 --> 00:22:04,073 [cheers and applause] 598 00:22:37,523 --> 00:22:38,691 - Did you get any of that? 599 00:22:41,902 --> 00:22:43,904 - It's a good show. 40756

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