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1
00:00:01,339 --> 00:00:06,109
♪ THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD,
I SHALL NOT WANT ♪
2
00:00:06,111 --> 00:00:07,810
♪ HE MAKETH ME ♪
3
00:00:07,812 --> 00:00:12,481
♪ TO LIE DOWN
IN GREEN PASTURES ♪
4
00:00:12,483 --> 00:00:16,985
♪ HE LEADETH ME ♪
5
00:00:16,987 --> 00:00:23,992
♪ BESIDE THE STILL WATERS ♪
6
00:00:25,996 --> 00:00:30,999
♪ STILL WATERS ♪
7
00:00:31,001 --> 00:00:32,701
( thud )
8
00:00:32,703 --> 00:00:37,539
"THE WRATH OF THE KING WAS MIGHTY, AND KNEW NO BOUND,
9
00:00:37,541 --> 00:00:40,375
"AND SO THEY DID LEAVE
THAT COUNTRY, AND DID,
10
00:00:40,377 --> 00:00:42,377
"WITH HEAVY HEART,
RETURN UNTO TO JAPHETH,
11
00:00:42,379 --> 00:00:43,378
AND UNTO GAD."
12
00:00:43,380 --> 00:00:45,080
HERE ENDS THE LESSON.
13
00:00:47,417 --> 00:00:49,417
LET US PRAY...
14
00:00:49,419 --> 00:00:53,421
DEAR LORD, WE ASK THEE
TO BLESS ALL THE MEMBERS
15
00:00:53,423 --> 00:00:57,592
OF THIS THY CONGREGATION.
16
00:00:57,594 --> 00:01:01,095
AND WE ESPECIALLY ASK YOU
TO REMEMBER THE QUEEN,
17
00:01:01,097 --> 00:01:05,099
WHO HAS BEEN HAVING TROUBLE
WITH HER PILES AGAIN,
18
00:01:05,101 --> 00:01:09,203
AND MRS. SINCLAIR WILSON,
AND ALL HER FAMILY.
19
00:01:09,205 --> 00:01:11,705
( whispering )
20
00:01:11,707 --> 00:01:14,208
MRS. SINCLAIR WILSON,
WHO HAS BEEN HAVING TROUBLE
21
00:01:14,210 --> 00:01:17,043
WITH HER PILES AGAIN,
22
00:01:17,045 --> 00:01:19,713
AND THE QUEEN,
AND ALL HER FAMILY.
23
00:01:19,715 --> 00:01:20,880
AMEN.
24
00:01:20,882 --> 00:01:23,882
MAY YOU GRANT THEM
HAPPINESS IN THIS WORLD,
25
00:01:23,884 --> 00:01:26,385
AND IN THE NEXT.
26
00:01:26,387 --> 00:01:28,887
PEACE EVERLASTING,
27
00:01:28,889 --> 00:01:30,856
AMEN.
28
00:01:30,858 --> 00:01:32,425
AMEN.
29
00:01:34,061 --> 00:01:35,894
AMEN.
30
00:01:45,573 --> 00:01:47,572
UM...
31
00:01:47,574 --> 00:01:49,907
WE NOW SING...
32
00:01:49,909 --> 00:01:51,143
( clears throat )
33
00:01:51,145 --> 00:01:52,777
HYMN NUMBER 16--
34
00:01:52,779 --> 00:01:57,516
THE DAY THOU GAVEST, LORD, HAS ENDED.
35
00:02:02,489 --> 00:02:08,160
♪ THE DAY THOU GAVEST ♪
36
00:02:08,162 --> 00:02:12,463
♪ LORD, IS ENDED ♪
37
00:02:12,465 --> 00:02:18,902
♪ THE DARKNESS FALLS
UPON THE EARTH ♪
38
00:02:24,109 --> 00:02:25,276
ARE WE ALL HERE?
39
00:02:25,278 --> 00:02:26,877
YES, PERFECTLY.
40
00:02:26,879 --> 00:02:30,047
NOT CAN WE ALL HEAR,
ARE WE ALL HERE?
41
00:02:30,049 --> 00:02:31,382
I'M SORRY.
42
00:02:31,384 --> 00:02:33,417
YES, SIR--
ALL EXCEPT MR. NEWITT.
43
00:02:33,419 --> 00:02:35,785
WELL, LET'S GO ON,
THEN, SHALL WE?
44
00:02:35,787 --> 00:02:38,120
NEWITT'S ALWAYS LATE,
WE'VE GOT A LOT OF BUSINESS.
45
00:02:38,122 --> 00:02:40,690
RIGHT, I CALL THIS MEETING
OF THE DIBLEY PARISH COUNCIL
46
00:02:40,692 --> 00:02:42,492
TO ORDER, DAVID HORTON
IN THE CHAIR,
47
00:02:42,494 --> 00:02:44,827
FRANK PICKLE
TAKING MINUTES.
48
00:02:44,829 --> 00:02:46,996
SHALL I MINUTE
THAT, SIR?
49
00:02:46,998 --> 00:02:48,331
WHAT?
50
00:02:48,333 --> 00:02:50,333
ABOUT MY TAKING
THE MINUTES.
51
00:02:50,335 --> 00:02:51,834
DO YOU NORMALLY
MINUTE IT?
52
00:02:51,836 --> 00:02:53,135
WELL, I'D LIKE TO, YES.
53
00:02:53,137 --> 00:02:54,170
THEN DO IT AGAIN.
54
00:02:54,172 --> 00:02:56,439
OH, THANK YOU.
55
00:02:56,441 --> 00:02:59,107
THE AGENDA THIS WEEK
STARTS WITH THE TRAGIC NEWS
56
00:02:59,109 --> 00:03:00,942
OF THE DEATH
OF REVEREND POTTLE.
57
00:03:00,944 --> 00:03:03,745
AND HE HAD BEEN
A GREAT SERVANT TO THIS VILLAGE
58
00:03:03,747 --> 00:03:07,716
EVER SINCE HIS ARRIVAL HERE
AS A YOUNG-ISH MAN IN 1917.
59
00:03:07,718 --> 00:03:09,884
HAPPY DAYS.
60
00:03:09,886 --> 00:03:11,886
YES, WE REMEMBER
PARTICULARLY FONDLY
61
00:03:11,888 --> 00:03:13,054
HIS FAMOUS CHRISTMAS SERMON,
62
00:03:13,056 --> 00:03:15,090
WHICH I THINK WE ALL KNOW...
63
00:03:15,092 --> 00:03:16,091
BY HEART.
64
00:03:16,093 --> 00:03:17,593
HE SHALL BE
GREATLY MISSED.
65
00:03:17,595 --> 00:03:18,660
HERE, HERE.
66
00:03:18,662 --> 00:03:20,696
ANYONE WANT TO ADD
ANYTHING TO THAT?
67
00:03:20,698 --> 00:03:22,396
NO, NO, NO,
NO, NO, NO.
68
00:03:22,398 --> 00:03:23,531
YES, UH...
69
00:03:23,533 --> 00:03:25,733
JUST ONE THING, UH,
IF THAT'S ALL RIGHT.
70
00:03:25,735 --> 00:03:27,568
YES, FIRE AWAY.
71
00:03:27,570 --> 00:03:29,303
NO, NO, NO, NO, NO,
72
00:03:29,305 --> 00:03:33,307
BUT I--I THOUGHT MAYBE
WE SHOULD MENTION THE MARROW.
73
00:03:35,311 --> 00:03:37,978
AND WHAT MARROW IS THAT?
74
00:03:37,980 --> 00:03:40,348
HE--HE--HE COME SECOND IN
THE MARROW-GROWING CONTEST
75
00:03:40,350 --> 00:03:43,016
IN 1956.
76
00:03:44,220 --> 00:03:45,219
OH--BRAVO.
77
00:03:45,221 --> 00:03:46,620
WELL, EXCELLENT.
78
00:03:46,622 --> 00:03:48,921
YES, WE'LL INCLUDE
THAT, ANYTHING ELSE?
79
00:03:48,923 --> 00:03:52,392
NO, NO, NO, NO,
NO, NO, NO, NO...
80
00:03:54,730 --> 00:03:56,996
THAT'S "NO," IS IT.
81
00:03:56,998 --> 00:03:58,665
NO, NO, NO--
82
00:03:58,667 --> 00:04:01,434
NO, YES.
83
00:04:01,436 --> 00:04:02,769
RIGHT.
MOVING ON--
84
00:04:02,771 --> 00:04:04,003
SORRY I'M LATE.
85
00:04:04,005 --> 00:04:06,072
THAT'S ALL RIGHT, OWEN,
WE'VE ONLY JUST BEGUN.
86
00:04:06,074 --> 00:04:08,275
MY BLADDER'S
BEEN PLAYIN' UP AGAIN.
87
00:04:08,277 --> 00:04:10,976
I'VE SPENT SO MUCH TIME
IN THE STABLE'S TOILET,
88
00:04:10,978 --> 00:04:14,012
I'M THINKING OF SENDING OUT
CHANGE OF ADDRESS CARDS.
89
00:04:14,014 --> 00:04:16,848
YES, THANK YOU, OWEN.
90
00:04:16,850 --> 00:04:19,518
MOVING ON,
LAST WEEK WAS
91
00:04:19,520 --> 00:04:21,553
THE VILLAGE OF THE YEAR
COMPETITION,
92
00:04:21,555 --> 00:04:23,155
AND I'VE WRITTEN
TO BUCKINGHAM PALACE,
93
00:04:23,157 --> 00:04:25,357
THANKING THEM SO MUCH
FOR PRINCE EDWARD'S VISIT.
94
00:04:25,359 --> 00:04:26,358
HERE, HERE.
95
00:04:26,360 --> 00:04:27,793
SHAME.
I BEG YOUR PARDON?
96
00:04:27,795 --> 00:04:29,628
NO, I'VE NOTHING
AGAINST PRINCE EDWARD--
97
00:04:29,630 --> 00:04:32,364
THOUGH I DON'T USUALLY
TRUST BALD BLOKES--
98
00:04:32,366 --> 00:04:34,031
I'M JUST SURPRISED, THOUGH,
99
00:04:34,033 --> 00:04:36,701
THAT WE DON'T START
WITH THE REVEREND'S DEATH.
100
00:04:36,703 --> 00:04:39,671
WE DEALT WITH THAT
BEFORE YOU ARRIVED, OWEN.
101
00:04:39,673 --> 00:04:41,372
OH.
NOW, MOVING ON--
102
00:04:41,374 --> 00:04:43,574
PERHAPS YOU'D LIKE ME
TO READ THE MINUTES
103
00:04:43,576 --> 00:04:45,943
BACK TO YOU, OWEN,
SO YOU CAN CATCH UP.
104
00:04:45,945 --> 00:04:47,978
I DON'T THINK
THAT'LL BE NECESSARY.
105
00:04:47,980 --> 00:04:49,714
WE DON'T NEED TO WASTE
OUR WHOLE EVENING
106
00:04:49,716 --> 00:04:50,948
BECAUSE OF OWEN'S
DODGY WATERWORKS.
107
00:04:50,950 --> 00:04:52,950
SHALL I MINUTE THAT?
108
00:04:52,952 --> 00:04:54,619
NO, THANK YOU.
109
00:04:54,621 --> 00:04:55,953
RIGHT...
110
00:04:55,955 --> 00:04:57,954
UH, SHALL I LEAVE
A GAP, THEN?
111
00:04:57,956 --> 00:05:01,090
WHATEVER
YOU THINK, FRANK.
112
00:05:01,092 --> 00:05:03,360
WELL, IT'S--IT'S NOT
GOING TO FLOW VERY WELL.
113
00:05:03,362 --> 00:05:05,862
FOR GOODNESS SAKE, FRANK,
YOU ARE THE PERISH CLERK,
114
00:05:05,864 --> 00:05:07,831
NOT ALFRED LORD TENNYSON.
115
00:05:07,833 --> 00:05:08,832
RIGHT.
116
00:05:08,834 --> 00:05:09,999
I'M SORRY, EVERYONE,
117
00:05:10,001 --> 00:05:12,235
FOR THAT RATHER
ANNOYING INTERLUDE.
118
00:05:12,237 --> 00:05:15,505
BUT IF WE CAN MOVE ON
TO THE QUESTION
119
00:05:15,507 --> 00:05:17,407
OF THE SUCCESSOR
TO REVEREND POTTLE...
120
00:05:17,409 --> 00:05:18,908
ARE YOU SURE
ABOUT THAT?
121
00:05:18,910 --> 00:05:20,610
WHAT, FRANK, WHAT?
122
00:05:20,612 --> 00:05:23,111
WELL, YOU JUST DESCRIBED
PRINCE EDWARD'S VISIT
123
00:05:23,113 --> 00:05:25,481
AS A RATHER
ANNOYING INTERLUDE.
124
00:05:25,483 --> 00:05:26,982
I CERTAINLY DID NOT.
125
00:05:26,984 --> 00:05:28,984
WELL, I'M AFRAID
YOU DID, I...
126
00:05:28,986 --> 00:05:31,119
I CUT THAT JOLLY
INTERESTING BIT
127
00:05:31,121 --> 00:05:32,287
ABOUT OWEN'S BLADDER.
128
00:05:32,289 --> 00:05:33,956
SO, NOW IT READS,
129
00:05:33,958 --> 00:05:35,958
"SO MUCH FOR
PRINCE EDWARD'S VISIT,
130
00:05:35,960 --> 00:05:37,993
"AND IF WE CAN MOVE ON
131
00:05:37,995 --> 00:05:39,662
FROM THAT RATHER
ANNOYING INTERLUDE."
132
00:05:39,664 --> 00:05:40,929
OH, GOD.
133
00:05:40,931 --> 00:05:42,598
LOOK,
COULD WE GET ON?
134
00:05:42,600 --> 00:05:44,767
I'VE GOT
A WORRYING FEELING IN MY COLON.
135
00:05:44,769 --> 00:05:46,434
UH...
YES?
136
00:05:47,604 --> 00:05:48,936
NOTHING.
137
00:05:48,938 --> 00:05:50,938
WOULD YOU LIKE THAT
MINUTED, MRS. CROPLEY?
138
00:05:50,940 --> 00:05:53,274
OH, YES,
I SUPPOSE SO.
139
00:05:54,444 --> 00:05:56,110
EXCELLENT.
140
00:05:56,112 --> 00:05:58,279
"THEN MRS. CROPLEY
SAID 'NOTHING.'"
141
00:05:58,281 --> 00:06:00,281
MM.
142
00:06:00,283 --> 00:06:01,649
NOW, MOVING ON,
143
00:06:01,651 --> 00:06:03,718
I HAVE, OF COURSE,
ASKED THE BISHOP
144
00:06:03,720 --> 00:06:06,087
FOR SOMEONE A LITTLE YOUNGER
THAN THE REVEREND POTTLE--
145
00:06:06,089 --> 00:06:07,088
YES, PLEASE.
146
00:06:07,090 --> 00:06:09,022
BUT THEN, I THINK
IT WOULD BE HARD
147
00:06:09,024 --> 00:06:10,424
TO FIND ANYONE OLDER--
148
00:06:10,426 --> 00:06:13,427
WITHOUT ACTUALLY RECRUITING
A MEMBER OF THE ROLLING STONES.
149
00:06:18,300 --> 00:06:20,333
RIGHT, IF WE COULD
QUICKLY MOVE ON THROUGH
150
00:06:20,335 --> 00:06:21,802
TO THE PLANNING APPLICATIONS,
151
00:06:21,804 --> 00:06:25,305
WHICH I THINK
YOU'LL FIND ON PINK "7A."
152
00:06:25,307 --> 00:06:29,810
THE HERBERTS WANT
A NEW BARN--REJECTED.
153
00:06:29,812 --> 00:06:32,012
THE FRANKLINS WANT
A NEW KITCHEN--REJECTED.
154
00:06:32,014 --> 00:06:35,347
AND MY SON HUGO, HERE,
IS PUTTING UP A CONSERVATORY
155
00:06:35,349 --> 00:06:37,817
FOR HIS SOUTH AMERICAN
FLOWER COLLECTION,
156
00:06:37,819 --> 00:06:39,485
WHICH I THINK
SHOULD BE FINE.
157
00:06:39,487 --> 00:06:42,154
EXCELLENT NEWS--SOMEWHERE
FOR THE POOL TABLE, AT LAST.
158
00:06:42,156 --> 00:06:43,489
RIGHT,
ANY OTHER BUSINESS?
159
00:06:43,491 --> 00:06:44,891
DEFINITELY NOT.
160
00:06:44,893 --> 00:06:46,392
THANK YOU ALL VERY MUCH.
161
00:06:46,394 --> 00:06:47,927
WE ALL MEET AGAIN
IN A FORTNIGHT.
162
00:06:47,929 --> 00:06:49,261
HAVE YOU GOT
ALL THAT, FRANK?
163
00:06:49,263 --> 00:06:51,263
YES--"WITHOUT
ACTUALLY RECRUITING
164
00:06:51,265 --> 00:06:53,933
A MEMBER OF
THE ROLLING STONES."
165
00:06:56,604 --> 00:06:58,937
WHAT COMES NEXT?
166
00:07:02,375 --> 00:07:05,042
( dog barking )
167
00:07:08,415 --> 00:07:12,049
FINALLY, WE'LL BE ABLE TO GET
THIS VILLAGE GOING AGAIN.
168
00:07:12,051 --> 00:07:14,552
DO YOU REALIZE,
AT LAST YEAR'S FETE,
169
00:07:14,554 --> 00:07:16,053
"POTTY" POTTLE
AWARDED THE PRIZE
170
00:07:16,055 --> 00:07:18,389
FOR THE BEST CARROT
TO A CUCUMBER?
171
00:07:18,391 --> 00:07:20,225
YES. HE WAS
LOSING IT A BIT.
172
00:07:20,227 --> 00:07:22,392
THOUGH I DID AGREE
THE BISHOP OF OXFORD
173
00:07:22,394 --> 00:07:24,794
DESERVED FIRST PRIZE IN THE
FANCY DRESS COMPETITION.
174
00:07:24,796 --> 00:07:26,263
FOR BEING DRESSED AS A BISHOP?
175
00:07:26,265 --> 00:07:27,764
THAT'S RIGHT.
176
00:07:27,766 --> 00:07:29,366
HUH, BRILLIANT.
177
00:07:29,368 --> 00:07:31,535
WELL, THOSE DAYS ARE GONE.
178
00:07:31,537 --> 00:07:33,537
APPARENTLY,
THIS NEW CHAP IS SUPERB,
179
00:07:33,539 --> 00:07:36,039
PERSONALLY RECOMMENDED
BY THE BISHOP OF WICKHAM.
180
00:07:36,041 --> 00:07:37,741
ISN'T HE THAT DODGY ONE
181
00:07:37,743 --> 00:07:39,409
WHO SAYS THAT
JESUS DIDN'T EXIST?
182
00:07:39,411 --> 00:07:41,077
AND EVEN IF HE DID,
183
00:07:41,079 --> 00:07:42,412
HE DEFINITELY
WASN'T A CHRISTIAN?
184
00:07:42,414 --> 00:07:45,581
OH, IT'S ABOUT TIME WE HAD
SOMEONE WITH HALF A BRAIN
185
00:07:45,583 --> 00:07:47,750
ON THE PARISH COUNCIL.
186
00:07:47,752 --> 00:07:49,418
( clears throat )
187
00:07:49,420 --> 00:07:51,086
OH, YES, WELL...
188
00:07:51,088 --> 00:07:53,088
APART FROM YOUR GOOD SELF.
189
00:07:53,090 --> 00:07:56,592
AT LAST, WE CAN GIVE
THAT FRIGHTFUL VERGER ALICE
190
00:07:56,594 --> 00:07:58,127
THE HEAVE-HO.
191
00:07:58,129 --> 00:08:02,030
WELL, I DON'T THINK SHE'D BE
VERY HAPPY ABOUT THAT.
192
00:08:02,032 --> 00:08:04,367
WELL, TOUGH LUCK--
SHE'S A FAMOUS IMBECILE.
193
00:08:04,369 --> 00:08:06,068
IN LAST YEAR'S
CHRISTMAS CRIB,
194
00:08:06,070 --> 00:08:09,070
SHE HAD THE VIRGIN MARY
CRADLING A PIG,
195
00:08:09,072 --> 00:08:11,105
AND THE BABY JESUS
BEING SUCKLED
196
00:08:11,107 --> 00:08:14,376
BY A BLACK GOAT.
197
00:08:14,378 --> 00:08:16,811
BUT SHE'S AWFULLY KEEN.
198
00:08:16,813 --> 00:08:19,814
YES, EDDIE THE EAGLE
WAS VERY KEEN.
199
00:08:19,816 --> 00:08:22,484
BUT THE KIND THING TO DO
WOULD STILL HAVE BEEN
200
00:08:22,486 --> 00:08:24,185
TO SHOOT HIM
BETWEEN THE EYES
201
00:08:24,187 --> 00:08:27,021
THE FIRST TIME
HE PUT ON A PAIR OF SKIS.
202
00:08:27,023 --> 00:08:28,490
NO...
203
00:08:28,492 --> 00:08:31,159
I THINK THE NEW CHAP
WILL SEE SENSE,
204
00:08:31,161 --> 00:08:34,662
SACK ALICE,
AND SACK MRS. CROPLEY.
205
00:08:34,664 --> 00:08:36,563
I'VE SEEN
BETTER FLOWER ARRANGEMENTS
206
00:08:36,565 --> 00:08:38,565
ON A COMPOST HEAP.
207
00:08:38,567 --> 00:08:39,900
WHISKEY?
208
00:08:39,902 --> 00:08:41,234
PLEASE.
209
00:08:41,236 --> 00:08:43,069
EXCELLENT STUFF.
210
00:08:43,071 --> 00:08:46,072
KEEP IT FIRMLY LOCKED AWAY
WHEN THE RABBLE COME ROUND.
211
00:08:46,074 --> 00:08:48,074
THERE'S NO POINT
WASTING GOOD LIQUOR
212
00:08:48,076 --> 00:08:51,645
ON PEOPLE WHO JUST ADORE
ASDA SWEET AMONTILLADO.
213
00:08:51,647 --> 00:08:54,748
ACTUALLY, THAT IS
LOVELY STUFF, ISN'T IT?
214
00:08:54,750 --> 00:08:56,749
GOOD OLD ASDA.
215
00:08:58,920 --> 00:09:01,321
OOH, SHERRY, WOW.
216
00:09:01,323 --> 00:09:03,222
ONLY THE BEST HERE,
MISS TINKER.
217
00:09:03,224 --> 00:09:04,256
THANKS VERY MUCH.
218
00:09:04,258 --> 00:09:05,725
Mrs. Cropley:
SANDWICH?
219
00:09:05,727 --> 00:09:06,926
OH, NO, THANK YOU.
220
00:09:06,928 --> 00:09:09,929
ANCHOVY AND PEANUT BUTTER--
NOT QUITE MY CUP OF TEA.
221
00:09:09,931 --> 00:09:11,096
FRANK, SHERRY?
222
00:09:11,098 --> 00:09:12,765
OH, THANK YOU
VERY MUCH, LOVELY.
223
00:09:12,767 --> 00:09:13,766
MY FAVOURITE.
224
00:09:13,768 --> 00:09:14,767
THERE WE ARE.
225
00:09:14,769 --> 00:09:16,268
CHEERS.
226
00:09:16,270 --> 00:09:17,269
JIM?
227
00:09:17,271 --> 00:09:19,772
NO, NO, NO, NO
NO, NO, NO--YES.
228
00:09:19,774 --> 00:09:21,272
THERE WE ARE,
229
00:09:21,274 --> 00:09:23,875
DON'T DRINK IT ALL
AT ONCE, TOP STUFF.
230
00:09:25,278 --> 00:09:27,145
( loud throat clearing )
231
00:09:27,147 --> 00:09:29,314
AS YOU ALL KNOW,
WE'RE ALL GATHERED HERE
232
00:09:29,316 --> 00:09:30,682
TO GREET OUR NEW VICAR.
233
00:09:30,684 --> 00:09:32,818
I'M SORRY
IT'S SUCH AN AWFUL NIGHT,
234
00:09:32,820 --> 00:09:34,285
I CAN'T FIX EVERYTHING.
235
00:09:36,523 --> 00:09:39,023
THOUGH YOU DID GET OUR CAT
FIXED, DIDN'T YOU?
236
00:09:39,025 --> 00:09:41,025
( doorbell rings )
237
00:09:41,027 --> 00:09:43,027
I THINK
OUR NEW VICAR HAS ARRIVED.
238
00:09:43,029 --> 00:09:44,729
EITHER THAT,
239
00:09:44,731 --> 00:09:47,197
OR THE MILKMAN'S
VERY LATE AGAIN.
240
00:09:48,368 --> 00:09:50,968
HELLO? HELLO,
COULD YOU HURRY?
241
00:09:50,970 --> 00:09:52,470
IT'S PISSING
DOWN OUT HERE.
242
00:09:52,472 --> 00:09:53,971
IT'S RAINING
VERY HARD NOW.
243
00:09:53,973 --> 00:09:55,973
PLEASE?
244
00:09:55,975 --> 00:09:57,307
OH, HELLO.
245
00:09:57,309 --> 00:09:58,308
HELLO.
246
00:09:58,310 --> 00:09:59,309
DAVID HONITON.
247
00:09:59,311 --> 00:10:00,310
UH--HAWTREY.
HORTON.
248
00:10:00,312 --> 00:10:01,412
HORTON--
THAT'S THE CHAP.
249
00:10:01,414 --> 00:10:03,447
COULD YOU JUST TAKE
THESE WHILE I...?
250
00:10:05,385 --> 00:10:07,050
CHEERS, BYE!
251
00:10:08,720 --> 00:10:10,152
EXCUSE ME.
252
00:10:10,154 --> 00:10:11,988
JUST GET PAST YOU,
THANK YOU.
253
00:10:14,826 --> 00:10:17,660
AH...THERE.
254
00:10:17,662 --> 00:10:20,162
HELLO, I'M GERALDINE,
BELIEVE YOU'RE EXPECTING ME.
255
00:10:20,164 --> 00:10:21,998
NO, I'M EXPECTING
OUR NEW VICAR.
256
00:10:22,000 --> 00:10:24,166
UNLESS, OF COURSE,
YOU ARE THE NEW VICAR,
257
00:10:24,168 --> 00:10:26,002
AND THEY'VE LANDED
US WITH A WOMAN,
258
00:10:26,004 --> 00:10:27,837
AS SOME SORT
OF INSANE JOKE.
259
00:10:29,708 --> 00:10:31,007
OH, DEAR.
260
00:10:31,009 --> 00:10:32,674
OH, MY GOD.
261
00:10:32,676 --> 00:10:36,177
YOU WERE EXPECTING A BLOKE--
BEARD, BIBLE, BAD BREATH.
262
00:10:36,179 --> 00:10:37,446
YES, THAT SORT
OF THING.
263
00:10:37,448 --> 00:10:38,480
YEAH.
264
00:10:38,482 --> 00:10:40,949
AND INSTEAD, YOU GOT
A BABE WITH A BOB CUT,
265
00:10:40,951 --> 00:10:42,017
AND A MAGNIFICENT BOSOM.
266
00:10:42,019 --> 00:10:43,351
SO I SEE, YES.
267
00:10:44,354 --> 00:10:46,221
WELL, DON'T WORRY,
IT'LL BE ALL RIGHT.
268
00:10:46,223 --> 00:10:47,556
YOU NEED A STIFF DRINK.
269
00:10:47,558 --> 00:10:48,557
SO DO I.
270
00:10:48,559 --> 00:10:49,558
COME ON, DAVID.
271
00:10:49,560 --> 00:10:50,559
HELLO.
272
00:10:50,561 --> 00:10:52,861
I'M GERALDINE--
CALL ME "GERRY."
273
00:10:52,863 --> 00:10:55,030
DELIGHTED TO MEET YOU,
I--I'M HUGO, CALL ME...
274
00:10:55,032 --> 00:10:56,030
"HUGO."
275
00:10:56,032 --> 00:10:57,364
RIGHT.
276
00:10:57,366 --> 00:10:59,400
DO YOU MIND
IF I SAY THAT THAT
277
00:10:59,402 --> 00:11:01,035
IS A DEVASTATINGLY
SMART TIE, HUGO?
278
00:11:01,037 --> 00:11:02,036
IS IT?
279
00:11:02,038 --> 00:11:05,039
YES. SHALL WE
GO IN THERE?
280
00:11:05,041 --> 00:11:08,208
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
YOUR NEW VICAR.
281
00:11:08,210 --> 00:11:10,311
HELLO--
GERALDINE.
282
00:11:12,749 --> 00:11:14,582
BOO!
HA HA HA HA!
283
00:11:15,785 --> 00:11:17,952
HOW DO YOU DO?
I--I'M FRANK PICKLE.
284
00:11:17,954 --> 00:11:20,520
I TAKE THE MINUTES
ON THE COUNCIL.
285
00:11:20,522 --> 00:11:22,522
SPLENDID--
VERY IMPORTANT JOB.
286
00:11:22,524 --> 00:11:24,458
DO FORGIVE ME
IF I INSTANTLY FORGET
287
00:11:24,460 --> 00:11:26,192
YOUR NAME, WON'T YOU?
288
00:11:26,194 --> 00:11:27,427
I'M ABSOLUTELY
DREADFUL WITH NAMES.
289
00:11:27,429 --> 00:11:30,163
ASK ME TO NAME
THE VIRGIN MARY'S ELDEST SON,
290
00:11:30,165 --> 00:11:32,165
AND...NOPE,
MIND'S GONE BLANK.
291
00:11:32,167 --> 00:11:33,700
JESUS.
THAT'S IT!
292
00:11:33,702 --> 00:11:34,701
YES.
293
00:11:34,703 --> 00:11:37,103
HELLO--
GERALDINE,
"GERRY."
294
00:11:37,105 --> 00:11:38,772
LETITIA--"LETTY,"
UH, CROPLEY.
295
00:11:38,774 --> 00:11:40,774
I DO THE FLOWERS
IN THE CHURCH.
296
00:11:40,776 --> 00:11:41,942
OH, SPLENDID.
297
00:11:41,944 --> 00:11:43,809
AND WHAT HAVE
WE GOT IN THIS WEEK?
298
00:11:43,811 --> 00:11:47,279
WELL, WE'RE IN MOURNING
FOR THE REVEREND POTTLE.
299
00:11:47,281 --> 00:11:48,447
OF COURSE, LOVELY.
300
00:11:48,449 --> 00:11:49,515
CARNATIONS?
301
00:11:49,517 --> 00:11:50,683
YES, AND, UH...
302
00:11:50,685 --> 00:11:53,686
I THOUGHT I'D PUT IN
A PINEAPPLE, AS WELL.
303
00:11:54,922 --> 00:11:57,990
HMM...UNUSUAL.
304
00:11:57,992 --> 00:11:58,991
AND--AND YOU ARE?
305
00:11:58,993 --> 00:12:01,660
UH, NO, NO, NO,
NO, NO, NO, NO--JIM.
306
00:12:01,662 --> 00:12:02,995
JIM?
307
00:12:02,997 --> 00:12:04,830
NO, NO, NO,
NO, NO, NO.
308
00:12:04,832 --> 00:12:05,831
NOT JIM?
309
00:12:05,833 --> 00:12:07,999
NO, NO, NO--
YES, JIM.
310
00:12:08,001 --> 00:12:09,667
GOOD!
311
00:12:09,669 --> 00:12:10,735
GOOD.
312
00:12:10,737 --> 00:12:11,903
AND FINALLY...?
313
00:12:11,905 --> 00:12:13,471
DELIGHTED TO MEET YOU.
314
00:12:13,473 --> 00:12:15,940
THIS IS MISS TINKER,
SHE WAS THE VERGER
315
00:12:15,942 --> 00:12:17,108
UNDER THE REVEREND POTTLE.
316
00:12:17,110 --> 00:12:18,109
Geraldine:
OH, SPLENDID!
317
00:12:18,111 --> 00:12:20,478
DO YOU WANT TO
GO ON WITH THE JOB?
318
00:12:20,480 --> 00:12:22,547
OH, YES, PLEASE,
MUM, I'D LIKE...
319
00:12:22,549 --> 00:12:23,748
Geraldine:
GOOD, GOOD.
320
00:12:23,750 --> 00:12:25,750
DON'T CALL ME "MUM,"
SOUNDS LIKE THE QUEEN.
321
00:12:25,752 --> 00:12:28,085
LOVELY LADY,
BUT VERY ODD TASTE IN HATS,
322
00:12:28,087 --> 00:12:29,420
DON'T YOU THINK,
MISS TINKER?
323
00:12:29,422 --> 00:12:30,755
YES, I DO.
324
00:12:30,757 --> 00:12:32,556
YES, YES, YES.
325
00:12:32,558 --> 00:12:33,891
YOU CAN
CALL ME "ALICE."
326
00:12:33,893 --> 00:12:34,892
RIGHT.
327
00:12:34,894 --> 00:12:37,260
BECAUSE IT'S MY NAME.
328
00:12:37,262 --> 00:12:38,662
RIGHT.
329
00:12:38,664 --> 00:12:40,797
PERHAPS WE SHOULD TALK ABOUT
ALL THIS IN THE MORNING.
330
00:12:40,799 --> 00:12:41,798
YES, THANKS.
331
00:12:41,800 --> 00:12:42,966
OOH! DO YOU MIND?
332
00:12:42,968 --> 00:12:44,134
ABSOLUTELY HATE
AMONTILLADO.
333
00:12:44,136 --> 00:12:46,336
YOU WOULDN'T HAVE ANY
WHISKEY, WOULD YOU?
334
00:12:46,338 --> 00:12:48,071
UM, CERTAINLY, YES.
GOOD.
335
00:12:48,073 --> 00:12:51,041
I WOULDN'T MIND A WHISKEY,
IF THERE'S ONE GOING.
336
00:12:51,043 --> 00:12:52,776
ME, TOO.
337
00:12:52,778 --> 00:12:53,777
JIM?
338
00:12:53,779 --> 00:12:55,110
NO, NO,
NO, NO, NO...
339
00:12:55,112 --> 00:12:56,111
PLEASE YOURSELF.
340
00:12:56,113 --> 00:12:57,112
YES, I'LL HAVE ONE.
341
00:12:57,114 --> 00:12:58,681
( doorbell rings )
342
00:12:58,683 --> 00:12:59,849
VERY UNUSUAL SANDWICHES.
343
00:12:59,851 --> 00:13:01,183
WHAT'S THIS WITH THE HAM?
344
00:13:01,185 --> 00:13:02,852
LEMON CURD.
345
00:13:02,854 --> 00:13:04,386
GOOD LORD.
346
00:13:04,388 --> 00:13:06,455
MIND IF I JUST
POP IT DOWN THERE?
347
00:13:06,457 --> 00:13:07,456
JUST FOR A MOMENT.
348
00:13:07,458 --> 00:13:09,124
I'D LIKE TO SAY
A BIG THANK YOU
349
00:13:09,126 --> 00:13:10,560
TO ALL OF YOU
FOR COMING ALONG
350
00:13:10,562 --> 00:13:11,861
ON SUCH A HORRIBLE NIGHT,
351
00:13:11,863 --> 00:13:13,629
WHEN YOU COULD BE
IN WATCHING...
352
00:13:13,631 --> 00:13:14,864
OOH,
TOP OF THE POPS.
353
00:13:14,866 --> 00:13:16,298
WE'RE MISSING
TOP OF THE POPS.
354
00:13:16,300 --> 00:13:18,934
ANYWAY,
HERE'S CHEERS.
355
00:13:18,936 --> 00:13:20,001
SORRY I'M LATE.
356
00:13:20,003 --> 00:13:22,103
I'VE BEEN ON THE KHAZI
SINCE SUNDOWN.
357
00:13:22,105 --> 00:13:24,105
AH, OWEN.
358
00:13:24,107 --> 00:13:28,376
THIS IS GERALDINE--
SHE'S THE NEW VICAR.
359
00:13:28,378 --> 00:13:29,377
HELLO.
360
00:13:29,379 --> 00:13:30,879
NO, SHE ISN'T.
361
00:13:30,881 --> 00:13:32,213
WHY NOT?
362
00:13:32,215 --> 00:13:33,915
SHE'S A WOMAN!
363
00:13:33,917 --> 00:13:35,249
OH, YOU NOTICED.
364
00:13:35,251 --> 00:13:37,953
THESE ARE SUCH
A GIVEAWAY, AREN'T THEY?
365
00:13:37,955 --> 00:13:38,954
EH?
366
00:13:38,956 --> 00:13:40,354
WHISKEY, OWEN?
367
00:13:40,356 --> 00:13:41,590
I THINK
I MIGHT NEED ONE.
368
00:13:41,592 --> 00:13:42,856
LET'S MAKE IT A DOUBLE.
369
00:13:42,858 --> 00:13:44,592
OOH, DAVID, I THINK
WE'LL BE NEEDING
370
00:13:44,594 --> 00:13:45,793
ANOTHER BOTTLE SOON.
371
00:13:45,795 --> 00:13:47,795
DID I SPOT A LITTLE
GLENFIDDICH IN THERE?
372
00:13:47,797 --> 00:13:49,697
DON'T THINK SO, NO.
373
00:13:49,699 --> 00:13:52,199
NO, NO, NO,
THERE IS.
374
00:13:52,201 --> 00:13:54,868
OR WE COULD HAVE THAT
REALLY EXPENSIVE SINGLE MALT
375
00:13:54,870 --> 00:13:57,771
YOU WERE KEEPING
FOR VERY SPECIAL OCCASIONS.
376
00:13:57,773 --> 00:14:01,541
OOH, I THINK I FEEL
A PARTY COMING ON.
377
00:14:01,543 --> 00:14:04,478
CHEERS!
HA HA HA HA!
378
00:14:04,480 --> 00:14:06,813
David Horton:
CAN I SPEAK TO THE BISHOP?
379
00:14:06,815 --> 00:14:08,481
HE'S WHERE?
380
00:14:08,483 --> 00:14:09,749
( cow lows )
381
00:14:09,751 --> 00:14:11,584
OH, GOD, WHAT'S HE
DOING THERE?
382
00:14:11,586 --> 00:14:13,786
THEY'RE ALL MUSLIMS,
AREN'T THEY?
383
00:14:13,788 --> 00:14:15,287
REALLY?
384
00:14:15,289 --> 00:14:17,624
TWENTY-FIVE MILLION
CHRISTIANS?
385
00:14:17,626 --> 00:14:18,958
OH, WELL,
FAIR ENOUGH--
386
00:14:18,960 --> 00:14:20,459
MORE THAN HERE.
387
00:14:20,461 --> 00:14:22,461
BY ABOUT 25 MILLION.
388
00:14:22,463 --> 00:14:24,130
LOOK, CAN I
LEAVE A MESSAGE?
389
00:14:24,132 --> 00:14:25,331
DAVID HORTON RANG,
390
00:14:25,333 --> 00:14:28,535
IF HE COULD RING ME
AS SOON AS HE RETURNS.
391
00:14:28,537 --> 00:14:29,802
THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS.
392
00:14:29,804 --> 00:14:32,470
I WON'T HAVE MY VILLAGE USED
LIKE SOME LABORATORY ANIMAL
393
00:14:32,472 --> 00:14:33,906
TO SEE IF WOMEN VICARS WORK.
394
00:14:33,908 --> 00:14:37,009
OH, SHE SEEMED A DECENT
SORT OF CHAP TO ME.
395
00:14:37,011 --> 00:14:40,211
THAT'S THE WHOLE POINT--
SHE'S NOT A CHAP.
396
00:14:40,213 --> 00:14:42,014
WELL, NO,
NOT TECHNICALLY.
397
00:14:42,016 --> 00:14:43,682
WELL, THAT IS
QUITE A TECHNICALITY,
398
00:14:43,684 --> 00:14:45,183
I MEAN,
WHAT IS HAPPENING?
399
00:14:45,185 --> 00:14:46,852
ARE WE TO HAVE
TOPLESS BATHING
400
00:14:46,854 --> 00:14:48,654
ON THE RECTORY LAWN,
COME SUMMER?
401
00:14:48,656 --> 00:14:51,657
THE OLD VICAR USED TO
SUNBATHE TOPLESS, ACTUALLY.
402
00:14:51,659 --> 00:14:54,659
YES, BUT HE WAS A MAN,
SO IT DIDN'T MATTER.
403
00:14:54,661 --> 00:14:55,927
OH, YES, WELL,
IT PROBABLY DID,
404
00:14:55,929 --> 00:14:57,962
BECAUSE HE HAD THAT
SORT OF VERY FAIR SKIN
405
00:14:57,964 --> 00:14:59,764
THAT BURNS TERRIBLY,
AND I READ AN ARTICLE...
406
00:14:59,766 --> 00:15:01,432
OH, GET A GRIP, HUGO.
407
00:15:01,434 --> 00:15:04,035
IF JESUS WANTED WOMEN
TO SPREAD THE GOSPEL,
408
00:15:04,037 --> 00:15:05,703
HE WOULD HAVE APPOINTED THEM.
409
00:15:05,705 --> 00:15:07,705
IT'S MATTHEW, MARK,
LUKE, AND JOHN,
410
00:15:07,707 --> 00:15:10,107
NOT SHARON, TRACY,
TARA, AND DEBBIE.
411
00:15:10,109 --> 00:15:11,508
NO, IT WON'T DO.
412
00:15:11,510 --> 00:15:13,844
HUGO, I WANT YOU TO CALL
AN EXTRAORDINARY MEETING
413
00:15:13,846 --> 00:15:15,713
OF THE COUNCIL.
414
00:15:15,715 --> 00:15:17,481
WE'LL GET THIS DONE
BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE.
415
00:15:17,483 --> 00:15:20,149
THEY DON'T CALL ME
"SPORTIN' HORTON" FOR NOTHING.
416
00:15:20,151 --> 00:15:22,351
I DIDN'T KNOW THEY
CALLED YOU "SPORTIN' HORTON."
417
00:15:22,353 --> 00:15:24,320
I THOUGHT THEY
CALLED YOU "DIRTY DAVID,"
418
00:15:24,322 --> 00:15:25,789
BECAUSE OF YOUR
ENORMOUS COLLECTION
419
00:15:25,791 --> 00:15:26,790
OF VICTORIAN PORNOGRAPHY.
420
00:15:26,792 --> 00:15:29,292
OH,
FOR GOODNESS SAKE, SHUT UP.
421
00:15:29,294 --> 00:15:30,794
Geraldine:
THIS IS
SO EXCITING FOR ME...
422
00:15:30,796 --> 00:15:33,129
Owen:
WELL, IT CAN'T BE RIGHT,
CAN IT, REALLY?
423
00:15:33,131 --> 00:15:34,297
Jim:
WHAT'S THAT?
424
00:15:34,299 --> 00:15:35,966
Owen:
HAVING A WOMAN VICAR.
425
00:15:35,968 --> 00:15:39,168
I MEAN, JESUS DIDN'T HAVE
WOMEN DISCIPLES, DID HE?
426
00:15:39,170 --> 00:15:40,336
NO.
427
00:15:40,338 --> 00:15:42,671
BUT THINGS
HAVE TO CHANGE, DON'T THEY?
428
00:15:42,673 --> 00:15:44,506
THAT'S RIGHT,
I--I MEAN,
429
00:15:44,508 --> 00:15:46,675
LOOK AT
TRAFFIC LIGHTS.
430
00:15:47,878 --> 00:15:49,044
WHAT ABOUT THEM?
431
00:15:49,046 --> 00:15:50,378
WELL, IF THEY
DIDN'T CHANGE,
432
00:15:50,380 --> 00:15:52,615
THERE'D BE
TERRIBLE CONGESTION,
WOULDN'T THERE?
433
00:15:52,617 --> 00:15:56,018
ON THE OTHER HAND,
THERE'S GRAVITY.
434
00:15:56,020 --> 00:15:57,786
WHAT ABOUT IT?
435
00:15:57,788 --> 00:15:58,787
IF GRAVITY CHANGED,
436
00:15:58,789 --> 00:16:00,789
WE'D ALL GO FLOATIN'
UP INTO SPACE.
437
00:16:01,959 --> 00:16:05,327
AND NO ONE WANTS THAT.
438
00:16:05,329 --> 00:16:07,829
SO, THERE'S GOOD CHANGE,
AND BAD CHANGE.
439
00:16:07,831 --> 00:16:09,998
THAT'S RIGHT,
I MEAN...
440
00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:13,701
THERE'S THE CHANGING
OF THE GUARD, ISN'T THERE?
441
00:16:13,703 --> 00:16:15,136
OH, WONDERFUL.
442
00:16:15,138 --> 00:16:17,972
AND THEN THERE'S
PRAWN-FLAVOURED CRISPS.
443
00:16:17,974 --> 00:16:20,775
DISASTER.
444
00:16:20,777 --> 00:16:23,778
WELL, HERE WE ARE,
NUMBER TWO--BASE CAMP.
445
00:16:32,087 --> 00:16:34,087
AAH...
446
00:16:34,089 --> 00:16:36,423
WELL...
447
00:16:36,425 --> 00:16:39,426
FROM HERE, WE LAUNCH
OUR GREAT MISSION.
448
00:16:39,428 --> 00:16:41,428
WITH, OF COURSE--
449
00:16:41,430 --> 00:16:43,430
PROPER RATIONS.
450
00:16:44,734 --> 00:16:47,868
YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO
TAKE ME THROUGH A FEW THINGS.
451
00:16:47,870 --> 00:16:49,470
OH, YEAH.
452
00:16:49,472 --> 00:16:51,505
WHAT KIND OF CROWD
ARE WE PULLING
453
00:16:51,507 --> 00:16:52,873
TO THE SUNDAY GIGS HERE?
454
00:16:52,875 --> 00:16:54,206
OOH, UH...
455
00:16:54,208 --> 00:16:55,608
'BOUT FOUR.
456
00:16:55,610 --> 00:16:56,809
CROWD OF FOUR.
YEAH.
457
00:16:56,811 --> 00:16:58,611
ON A GOOD DAY.
458
00:16:59,647 --> 00:17:00,646
WELL...
459
00:17:00,648 --> 00:17:02,147
FOUR'S NOT BAD, IS IT?
460
00:17:02,149 --> 00:17:03,816
I MEAN, THERE WERE
FOUR GOSPELS,
461
00:17:03,818 --> 00:17:05,585
FOUR HORSEMEN
OF THE APOCALYPSE.
462
00:17:05,587 --> 00:17:08,254
FOUR ROCKY MOVIES,
TILL THEY MADE ROCKY V.
463
00:17:08,256 --> 00:17:10,022
VERY BAD MOVE,
I THOUGHT.
464
00:17:10,024 --> 00:17:12,024
WELL, IT MAY
GO UP TO FIVE
465
00:17:12,026 --> 00:17:14,026
IF MR. NEWITT'S
BOWELS SETTLE DOWN.
466
00:17:14,028 --> 00:17:15,895
WELL, LET ME JUST
GET THIS STRAIGHT.
467
00:17:15,897 --> 00:17:19,431
WE'VE GOT MRS. CROPLEY,
MR. PICKLE, MR. HORTON--
468
00:17:19,433 --> 00:17:20,766
OH, SOMETIMES
HUGO COMES--
469
00:17:20,768 --> 00:17:22,267
BUT NOT VERY OFTEN.
470
00:17:22,269 --> 00:17:23,935
SO, WHO'S
THE FOURTH ONE?
471
00:17:24,938 --> 00:17:26,471
MR. NEWITT,
I MENTIONED.
472
00:17:26,473 --> 00:17:28,206
WITH THE BOWELS.
473
00:17:28,208 --> 00:17:29,207
NO, NO, NO, NO,
474
00:17:29,209 --> 00:17:30,642
HE WAS
THE FIFTH ONE, WASN'T HE?
475
00:17:30,644 --> 00:17:31,643
WAS HE?
476
00:17:31,645 --> 00:17:33,812
OH, YES.
477
00:17:33,814 --> 00:17:36,080
OH, UH--UM...
478
00:17:36,082 --> 00:17:37,883
WELL, Mrs. Cropley,
Mister Pickle...
479
00:17:38,919 --> 00:17:40,251
OH, ME!
480
00:17:41,421 --> 00:17:42,820
THICKNESS...
481
00:17:42,822 --> 00:17:45,222
WELL, WHAT ABOUT
CHRISTMAS?
482
00:17:45,224 --> 00:17:46,657
OH, CHRISTMAS,
WELL, THAT'S SPECIAL.
483
00:17:46,659 --> 00:17:48,358
GOOD, HOW MANY?
484
00:17:48,360 --> 00:17:49,427
THREE.
485
00:17:49,429 --> 00:17:51,762
MRS. CROPLEY ALWAYS GOES
TO VISIT HER SISTER.
486
00:17:51,764 --> 00:17:52,763
I SEE.
487
00:17:52,765 --> 00:17:54,932
WHAT ABOUT YOU, ALICE?
488
00:17:54,934 --> 00:17:56,967
WHAT DO YOU DO
WHEN YOU'RE NOT
489
00:17:56,969 --> 00:17:58,536
IN CHARGE OF
CROWD CONTROL HERE?
490
00:17:58,538 --> 00:18:01,038
I HELP THE TEACHER
AT THE NURSERY SCHOOL.
491
00:18:01,040 --> 00:18:02,205
OH.
492
00:18:02,207 --> 00:18:04,374
ART'S MY FORTE.
493
00:18:07,679 --> 00:18:09,446
SO IT IS.
494
00:18:09,448 --> 00:18:11,948
REVEREND POTTLE SAID
THAT I WAS, UM,
495
00:18:11,950 --> 00:18:14,116
AN UNDISCOVERED GENIUS.
496
00:18:14,118 --> 00:18:15,117
DID HE?
YES.
497
00:18:15,119 --> 00:18:16,786
DID HE?
498
00:18:16,788 --> 00:18:19,121
VERY REMARKABLE MAN.
499
00:18:19,123 --> 00:18:20,122
YES.
500
00:18:21,460 --> 00:18:23,125
NOW, LET'S SEE...
501
00:18:23,127 --> 00:18:25,462
AH...OH!
502
00:18:25,464 --> 00:18:26,696
OOH--RIBENA.
503
00:18:26,698 --> 00:18:28,364
YUM, YUM.
SUNDAY SCHOOL?
504
00:18:28,366 --> 00:18:29,998
NO,
FOR HOLY COMMUNION.
505
00:18:30,000 --> 00:18:32,167
UNORTHODOX.
506
00:18:32,169 --> 00:18:33,168
WELL...
507
00:18:33,170 --> 00:18:35,637
THE REVEREND
HAD A TENDENCY
508
00:18:35,639 --> 00:18:37,172
TO GET A LITTLE TIPSY,
509
00:18:37,174 --> 00:18:40,742
SO, I USED IT INSTEAD
OF WINE TO AVOID...
510
00:18:40,744 --> 00:18:41,844
( mimics being drunk )
511
00:18:41,846 --> 00:18:42,845
QUITE RIGHT.
512
00:18:42,847 --> 00:18:44,680
I MEAN, I'M SURE
IF THIS STUFF
513
00:18:44,682 --> 00:18:46,482
HAD BEEN AROUND
AT THE LAST SUPPER,
514
00:18:46,484 --> 00:18:48,517
OUR LORD HIMSELF
MIGHT HAVE HAD A SWIG,
515
00:18:48,519 --> 00:18:50,151
YOU KNOW, TO KEEP
A CLEAR HEAD
516
00:18:50,153 --> 00:18:51,353
FOR ALL THOSE
DIFFICULT QUESTIONS
517
00:18:51,355 --> 00:18:52,854
PILATE
WAS GOING TO ASK HIM.
518
00:18:52,856 --> 00:18:53,855
WHAT IS TRUTH?
519
00:18:53,857 --> 00:18:54,889
SORRY?
520
00:18:54,891 --> 00:18:56,891
OH, THAT WAS A QUESTION
THAT PILATE ASKED,
521
00:18:56,893 --> 00:18:57,992
"WHAT IS TRUTH?"
522
00:18:57,994 --> 00:18:59,326
SO HE DID.
523
00:18:59,328 --> 00:19:00,995
GOOD OLD PILATE.
524
00:19:00,997 --> 00:19:03,831
SORT OF MAGNUS MAGNUSSON
OF PALESTINE, WASN'T HE?
525
00:19:03,833 --> 00:19:05,232
YEAH.
"NAME?"
526
00:19:06,235 --> 00:19:07,401
"JESUS."
527
00:19:07,403 --> 00:19:08,736
"PROFESSION?"
528
00:19:08,738 --> 00:19:10,605
"SAVIOUR OF MANKIND."
529
00:19:10,607 --> 00:19:12,607
"AND FOR YOUR
SPECIALIST SUBJECT, JESUS,
530
00:19:12,609 --> 00:19:15,242
"YOU HAVE CHOSEN CATERING.
531
00:19:15,244 --> 00:19:17,276
"YOUR FIRST QUESTION--
HOW MANY LOAVES AND FISHES
532
00:19:17,278 --> 00:19:19,412
DOES IT TAKE
TO FEED 5,000 PEOPLE?"
533
00:19:19,414 --> 00:19:22,248
"UM...PASS!"
534
00:19:22,250 --> 00:19:23,383
OH, GOD, ALICE.
535
00:19:23,385 --> 00:19:25,418
DO YOU THINK WE'RE
GONNA BE ALL RIGHT?
536
00:19:25,420 --> 00:19:26,920
OH, OF COURSE!
537
00:19:26,922 --> 00:19:29,422
I'M GONNA
SUPPORT YOU ALL THE WAY.
538
00:19:29,424 --> 00:19:32,058
WELL, THEN,
WE CAN'T FAIL, CAN WE?
539
00:19:32,060 --> 00:19:34,227
NO. I KNOW A LOT
ABOUT TROPICAL FISH,
540
00:19:34,229 --> 00:19:35,762
AS WELL.
541
00:19:35,764 --> 00:19:36,930
SPLENDID.
542
00:19:36,932 --> 00:19:38,431
SPLENDID.
543
00:19:38,433 --> 00:19:41,433
THEN WE SHALL BE
FISHERS OF MEN.
544
00:19:41,435 --> 00:19:42,768
YES.
YEAH.
545
00:19:42,770 --> 00:19:45,103
I DON'T KNOW
MUCH ABOUT THEM...
546
00:19:45,105 --> 00:19:47,006
I'M AFRAID.
547
00:19:47,008 --> 00:19:48,007
HMM.
548
00:19:48,009 --> 00:19:49,374
WATCH AND LEARN, KID.
549
00:19:49,376 --> 00:19:51,076
WATCH AND LEARN.
550
00:19:51,078 --> 00:19:53,411
SO, I HAVE DRAFTED
A LETTER WHICH ASKS
551
00:19:53,413 --> 00:19:54,947
THAT SHE SHOULD
IMMEDIATELY BE REMOVED
552
00:19:54,949 --> 00:19:55,948
FROM HER NEW POSITION.
553
00:19:55,950 --> 00:19:58,216
IF YOU HAVE
ANY OBJECTIONS,
554
00:19:58,218 --> 00:19:59,718
IF YOU WANT OUR VILLAGE
555
00:19:59,720 --> 00:20:01,053
TO BECOME
A NATIONAL LAUGHINGSTOCK,
556
00:20:01,055 --> 00:20:02,387
OR IF YOU ACTUALLY BELIEVE
557
00:20:02,389 --> 00:20:03,756
WHAT MOST
RIGHT-THINKING ANGLICANS
558
00:20:03,758 --> 00:20:06,024
STILL THINK IS HERESY,
559
00:20:06,026 --> 00:20:07,525
DO SPEAK UP NOW.
560
00:20:07,527 --> 00:20:10,662
OH, TERRIBLY SORRY
I'M LATE.
561
00:20:10,664 --> 00:20:12,163
VISITING
MY NEW PARISHIONERS.
562
00:20:12,165 --> 00:20:14,065
HONESTLY, I THINK
THEY'D BE LESS SURPRISED
563
00:20:14,067 --> 00:20:16,200
IF THE NEW VICAR
HAD BEEN MR. BLOBBY.
564
00:20:16,202 --> 00:20:18,036
YEAH, LA-DE-DA.
565
00:20:18,038 --> 00:20:20,538
ANYWAY,
CHALLENGES, CHALLENGES.
566
00:20:20,540 --> 00:20:22,206
MISS ANYTHING IMPORTANT?
567
00:20:22,208 --> 00:20:23,875
UH, WELL,
THERE IS ONE THING.
568
00:20:23,877 --> 00:20:26,243
WE HAVE DRAFTED
A LETTER TO THE BISHOP.
569
00:20:26,245 --> 00:20:27,244
OH, GREAT--
BERTIE SAYS
570
00:20:27,246 --> 00:20:28,812
ALL HE EVER GETS
ARE DULL CIRCULARS,
571
00:20:28,814 --> 00:20:31,414
ASKING HIM WHETHER OR NOT
WE SHOULD OWN UP TO THE FACT
572
00:20:31,416 --> 00:20:33,416
THAT MOST PRIESTS
ARE AS GAY AS LARRY HAGMAN.
573
00:20:33,418 --> 00:20:35,686
DO I MEAN LARRY HAGMAN?
574
00:20:35,688 --> 00:20:36,820
SHALL WE GET ON?
575
00:20:36,822 --> 00:20:38,155
GRAYSON,
THAT'S IT, GRAYSON.
576
00:20:38,157 --> 00:20:40,490
"SHUT THAT DOOR"
IS A LARRYISM.
577
00:20:41,927 --> 00:20:44,094
FRANK, AS SECRETARY
TO THE COUNCIL,
578
00:20:44,096 --> 00:20:45,996
I THINK, PERHAPS,
YOU SHOULD READ IT.
579
00:20:45,998 --> 00:20:48,098
WELL, I'D RATHER NOT,
THANK YOU, MR. HORTON.
580
00:20:48,100 --> 00:20:49,099
JIM?
581
00:20:49,101 --> 00:20:50,600
RIGHT, I--I'LL READ IT.
582
00:20:50,602 --> 00:20:51,601
( clears throat )
583
00:20:51,603 --> 00:20:53,235
FROM
THE DIBLEY PARISH COUNCIL...
584
00:20:53,237 --> 00:20:54,536
SORRY I'M LATE.
585
00:20:54,538 --> 00:20:58,540
IT'S LIKE THE BIG RIDE
AT ALTON TOWERS IN MY INNARDS.
586
00:21:00,078 --> 00:21:01,343
I'M READING
A LETTER
587
00:21:01,345 --> 00:21:03,079
FROM THE COUNCIL
TO THE BISHOP.
588
00:21:03,081 --> 00:21:04,080
OH, YEAH.
589
00:21:04,082 --> 00:21:05,748
"MY LORD,
WE ARE VERY SORRY
590
00:21:05,750 --> 00:21:07,416
"TO TAKE UP
YOUR VALUABLE TIME,
591
00:21:07,418 --> 00:21:09,284
BUT A VERY IMPORTANT
SUBJECT HAS ARISEN."
592
00:21:09,286 --> 00:21:10,920
YES, SORRY--
IT'S JUST A SUGGESTION,
593
00:21:10,922 --> 00:21:12,621
BUT PERHAPS
YOU COULD MENTION
594
00:21:12,623 --> 00:21:13,789
HIS TRIP TO AFRICA.
595
00:21:13,791 --> 00:21:15,290
YOU KNOW,
SOMETHING LIKE,
596
00:21:15,292 --> 00:21:17,625
"WELCOME BACK FROM YOUR
TRIUMPHANT CONFERENCE."
597
00:21:17,627 --> 00:21:20,294
PUT IT LIKE THAT,
HE'LL BE PUTTY IN YOUR HAND.
598
00:21:20,296 --> 00:21:21,362
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
599
00:21:21,364 --> 00:21:25,033
HUGO,
ANOTHER STUNNING TIE.
600
00:21:26,203 --> 00:21:29,537
GIRLS JUST AREN'T
SAFE, ARE THEY?
601
00:21:31,007 --> 00:21:33,041
"WELCOME BACK FROM YOUR
TRIUMPHANT CONFERENCE."
602
00:21:33,043 --> 00:21:34,042
EXCELLENT.
603
00:21:34,044 --> 00:21:35,376
WHATEVER IT IS YOU WANT,
604
00:21:35,378 --> 00:21:37,712
HE'LL NEVER BE ABLE
TO REFUSE YOU NOW.
605
00:21:37,714 --> 00:21:38,813
"WE ARE VERY SORRY
606
00:21:38,815 --> 00:21:40,814
TO TAKE UP
YOUR VALUABLE TIME."
607
00:21:40,816 --> 00:21:42,049
GOOD! GOOD.
608
00:21:42,051 --> 00:21:44,051
"BUT A VERY IMPORTANT
SUBJECT HAS ARISEN.
609
00:21:44,053 --> 00:21:45,953
"AS YOU ARE AWARE,
YOUR NEW CHOICE
610
00:21:45,955 --> 00:21:47,487
"FOR VICAR HERE
HAS NOW ARRIVED,
611
00:21:47,489 --> 00:21:49,556
"AND WE MUST SAY
THAT WE ARE ALL
612
00:21:49,558 --> 00:21:50,690
"DEEPLY UNHAPPY
ABOUT HER.
613
00:21:50,692 --> 00:21:52,559
"WE FIRMLY BELIEVE
THAT SHE WILL NOT
614
00:21:52,561 --> 00:21:54,728
"FIT IN WITH OUR
COMMUNITY AT ALL.
615
00:21:54,730 --> 00:21:56,997
"WE ARE PROFOUNDLY ANGRY
THAT WE SHOULD BE USED
616
00:21:56,999 --> 00:21:58,531
"AS AN EXPERIMENT GROUND
617
00:21:58,533 --> 00:22:00,000
"FOR THE MORE
FRIVOLOUS EXCESSES
618
00:22:00,002 --> 00:22:01,668
"OF THE MODERN CHURCH,
619
00:22:01,670 --> 00:22:04,003
"AND WOULD ASK YOU
IMMEDIATELY AND URGENTLY
620
00:22:04,005 --> 00:22:06,338
TO RECONSIDER THIS
DISASTROUS APPOINTMENT,"
621
00:22:06,340 --> 00:22:07,373
AND IT'S SIGNED,
622
00:22:07,375 --> 00:22:09,675
"FROM THE DIBLEY
PARRISH COUNCIL."
623
00:22:11,246 --> 00:22:12,745
PHEW...
624
00:22:14,916 --> 00:22:16,916
WELL, YOU...
625
00:22:16,918 --> 00:22:19,585
CERTAINLY KNOW HOW
TO WIND A GIRL.
626
00:22:19,587 --> 00:22:22,388
THAT'S ALL
OF YOU, IS IT?
627
00:22:22,390 --> 00:22:25,858
YES, IT IS.
628
00:22:25,860 --> 00:22:27,959
EXCEPT ME, ACTUALLY.
629
00:22:29,362 --> 00:22:30,662
AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED,
630
00:22:30,664 --> 00:22:32,430
"POTTY" POTTLE WAS
A REGULAR OLD WOMAN.
631
00:22:32,432 --> 00:22:34,499
AND IF WE HAVE
TO HAVE A LASS,
632
00:22:34,501 --> 00:22:36,234
I'D MUCH PREFER
IT WAS A YOUNG ONE.
633
00:22:36,236 --> 00:22:38,236
PARTICULARLY,
IF I MAY SAY SO,
634
00:22:38,238 --> 00:22:40,738
ONE WITH SUCH
INTERESTING TASTE IN JUMPERS.
635
00:22:40,740 --> 00:22:42,740
OH.
636
00:22:42,742 --> 00:22:43,741
THANK YOU.
637
00:22:43,743 --> 00:22:45,410
MY GRANDMA
KNITTED THIS.
638
00:22:45,412 --> 00:22:47,412
SHE'S BLIND.
639
00:22:49,950 --> 00:22:52,116
DID WE ACTUALLY VOTE ON IT?
640
00:22:52,118 --> 00:22:55,385
UH, NO, NO,
NO, NO--I DON'T KNOW.
641
00:22:55,387 --> 00:22:56,720
OF COURSE, WE DID!
642
00:22:56,722 --> 00:22:58,689
I-I'LL JUST CHECK THAT.
643
00:23:00,893 --> 00:23:02,092
NO.
644
00:23:02,094 --> 00:23:04,995
IN FACT, WE SEEM TO
HAVE FORGOTTEN TO VOTE.
645
00:23:04,997 --> 00:23:07,631
OH, EXCELLENT,
THAT IS GOOD NEWS.
646
00:23:07,633 --> 00:23:09,433
YES, BUT WE HAD ALL AGREED.
647
00:23:09,435 --> 00:23:10,434
I HADN'T.
648
00:23:10,436 --> 00:23:12,136
LET'S HAVE THE VOTE.
649
00:23:12,138 --> 00:23:15,104
I PROPOSE WE GIVE
THE REVEREND A CHANCE--
650
00:23:15,106 --> 00:23:17,907
AT LEAST SEE HOW
SHE DOES ON SUNDAY.
651
00:23:17,909 --> 00:23:18,908
RIGHT!
652
00:23:18,910 --> 00:23:20,276
ALL THOSE IN FAVOUR
653
00:23:20,278 --> 00:23:22,511
OF MR. NEWITT'S
EXCELLENT PROPOSITION,
654
00:23:22,513 --> 00:23:24,013
Hugo:
Bravo.
655
00:23:24,015 --> 00:23:25,849
ALL THOSE AGAINST?
656
00:23:27,452 --> 00:23:28,617
OH,
THIS IS RIDICULOUS.
657
00:23:28,619 --> 00:23:31,420
ALL I CAN SAY IS THAT
THE PROOF OF THE PUDDING
658
00:23:31,422 --> 00:23:32,688
WILL BE IN THE EATING.
659
00:23:32,690 --> 00:23:34,724
I THINK YOU WILL FIND
THAT OUR LITTLE COMMUNITY
660
00:23:34,726 --> 00:23:36,292
DOES NOT REACT WELL
TO THE INDIGNITY
661
00:23:36,294 --> 00:23:37,626
OF A VICAR
IN HIGH HEELS,
662
00:23:37,628 --> 00:23:40,595
AND RALLIES BEHIND ME
IN THE DESIRE TO KEEP UP
663
00:23:40,597 --> 00:23:42,597
THE TRADITIONS THAT
HAVE MADE THIS VILLAGE--
664
00:23:42,599 --> 00:23:45,234
AND THE CHURCH OF ENGLAND--
WHAT THEY ARE TODAY.
665
00:23:45,236 --> 00:23:47,702
I TAKE IT
THAT'S A "NO"?
666
00:23:47,704 --> 00:23:50,105
YES.
667
00:23:50,107 --> 00:23:54,476
GOD, YOUR FATHER IS HANDSOME
WHEN HE'S ANGRY, ISN'T HE?
668
00:23:54,478 --> 00:23:58,479
( church bell tolling )
669
00:24:01,117 --> 00:24:04,618
IN THE NAME OF THE FATHER,
THE SON, AND THE HOLY SPIRIT.
670
00:24:04,620 --> 00:24:06,119
AMEN.
671
00:24:06,121 --> 00:24:07,454
Congregation:
AMEN.
672
00:24:07,456 --> 00:24:09,823
I'D LIKE TO START BY
SINGING ZIP-A-DEE-DOO-DAH,
673
00:24:09,825 --> 00:24:14,728
BECAUSE IT IS SUCH A THRILL
TO SEE SO MANY OF YOU HERE.
674
00:24:14,730 --> 00:24:16,797
BUT I THINK WE SHOULD
STICK WITH TRADITION,
675
00:24:16,799 --> 00:24:19,299
AND SING HYMN NUMBER 199.
676
00:24:19,301 --> 00:24:21,501
♪ IMMORTAL ♪
677
00:24:21,503 --> 00:24:23,003
♪ INVISIBLE ♪
678
00:24:23,005 --> 00:24:26,674
♪ GOD ONLY WISE ♪
679
00:24:26,676 --> 00:24:29,341
I KNOW A LOT OF YOU
WERE SURPRISED TO FIND
680
00:24:29,343 --> 00:24:31,077
THAT YOUR VICAR'S A WOMAN.
681
00:24:31,079 --> 00:24:32,445
NOT AS SURPRISED AS ME.
682
00:24:32,447 --> 00:24:34,614
ALL THE WAY
THROUGH MY TEENS,
683
00:24:34,616 --> 00:24:36,950
I WAS CONVINCED
THAT, NATURALLY,
684
00:24:36,952 --> 00:24:38,451
I WOULD BECOME
A SUPERMODEL,
685
00:24:38,453 --> 00:24:41,187
AND MARRY EITHER
ERIC CLAPTON OR DAVID SOUL,
686
00:24:41,189 --> 00:24:42,521
AS YOU DO.
687
00:24:42,523 --> 00:24:46,492
AND THEN ONE DAY, I READ
THE SERMON ON THE MOUNT,
688
00:24:46,494 --> 00:24:48,194
AND IT WAS SO FANTASTIC,
689
00:24:48,196 --> 00:24:49,495
THAT WAS IT.
690
00:24:49,497 --> 00:24:53,164
I DECIDED THERE AND THEN
TO ABANDON THE CATWALK,
691
00:24:53,166 --> 00:24:55,166
AND GIVE
THE DOG COLLAR A TRY.
692
00:24:57,170 --> 00:24:58,837
SO, HERE I AM--
693
00:24:58,839 --> 00:25:01,172
AT YOUR SERVICE,
TOTALLY YOURS,
694
00:25:01,174 --> 00:25:03,341
ANYTIME, ANY DAY.
695
00:25:03,343 --> 00:25:06,377
ALTHOUGH IF YOU COME TO SEE ME
FIRST THING IN THE MORNING,
696
00:25:06,379 --> 00:25:08,279
WEAR DARK GLASSES,
697
00:25:08,281 --> 00:25:10,281
BECAUSE BEFORE MY FACE
FALLS INTO PLACE,
698
00:25:10,283 --> 00:25:12,017
I LOOK FRIGHTENINGLY LIKE
BERNARD MANNING.
699
00:25:13,487 --> 00:25:15,486
NO, IT'S TRUE,
I DO, IT'S SCARY.
700
00:25:15,488 --> 00:25:17,989
NOW, LET'S SING
HYMN NUMBER 300.
701
00:25:17,991 --> 00:25:19,824
AND I ALWAYS THINK
IT SOUNDS BEST
702
00:25:19,826 --> 00:25:23,160
IF YOU SHOUT ON THE
"BREAD OF HEAVEN" BIT.
703
00:25:26,833 --> 00:25:29,333
♪ BREAD OF HEAVEN ♪
704
00:25:29,335 --> 00:25:31,502
♪ BREAD OF HEAVEN ♪
705
00:25:31,504 --> 00:25:35,806
♪ FEED ME NOW AND EVERMORE ♪
706
00:25:35,808 --> 00:25:39,109
♪ AND EVERMORE ♪
707
00:25:39,111 --> 00:25:45,448
♪ FEED ME NOW AND EVERMORE ♪
708
00:25:47,119 --> 00:25:49,452
MARKS OUT OF TEN, ALICE?
709
00:25:49,454 --> 00:25:50,954
SEVENTEEN.
710
00:25:50,956 --> 00:25:52,889
( knock on door )
COME IN.
711
00:25:54,559 --> 00:25:56,092
OH, OWEN,
WHAT DID YOU THINK?
712
00:25:56,094 --> 00:25:57,593
MISSED MOST OF IT,
I'M AFRAID.
713
00:25:57,595 --> 00:25:58,594
OTHERWISE ENGAGED.
714
00:25:58,596 --> 00:25:59,763
OH, STOMACH STILL BAD?
715
00:25:59,765 --> 00:26:02,564
TO BE FRANK, IT'S LIKE
THE BATTLE OF THE SOMME
716
00:26:02,566 --> 00:26:03,632
DOWN THERE.
717
00:26:03,634 --> 00:26:05,333
I'M SORRY.
JIM, DID YOU ENJOY IT?
718
00:26:05,335 --> 00:26:06,769
NO, NO,
NO, NO, NO.
719
00:26:06,771 --> 00:26:08,537
OH, THANKS.
YOU'RE WELCOME.
720
00:26:08,539 --> 00:26:10,372
WELL, YOU'LL DEFINITELY
BE STAYING ON NOW.
721
00:26:10,374 --> 00:26:11,606
OH, YES, YOU WILL.
722
00:26:11,608 --> 00:26:12,607
All:
YES.
723
00:26:12,609 --> 00:26:13,776
FINGERS CROSSED.
724
00:26:13,778 --> 00:26:14,877
NO, IT'S DEAD CERTAIN.
725
00:26:14,879 --> 00:26:16,378
I HAVEN'T BEEN
MORE CERTAIN OF ANYTHING
726
00:26:16,380 --> 00:26:17,880
SINCE I OPENED
THE ENVELOPE TELLING ME
727
00:26:17,882 --> 00:26:19,181
HOW MANY
"O" LEVELS I'D PASSED.
728
00:26:19,183 --> 00:26:20,515
HOW MANY
DID YOU PASS?
729
00:26:20,517 --> 00:26:22,885
NONE, I'M AFRAID.
730
00:26:22,887 --> 00:26:25,220
IT'S THE MOST PEOPLE
WE'VE HAD IN THE CHURCH
731
00:26:25,222 --> 00:26:27,088
SINCE THAT LADY GODIVA
THING THREE YEARS AGO.
732
00:26:27,090 --> 00:26:28,255
OH, WHAT WAS THAT?
733
00:26:28,257 --> 00:26:29,557
WE WERE CELEBRATING
THE SUMMER SOLSTICE.
734
00:26:29,559 --> 00:26:31,759
WE THOUGHT IT'D BE FUN
TO RE-ENACT LADY GODIVA.
735
00:26:31,761 --> 00:26:34,095
NO, NO, NO, NO!
THAT'S MY DRESS.
736
00:26:34,097 --> 00:26:35,763
( clear throat )
737
00:26:35,765 --> 00:26:37,098
LOT OF PEOPLE TURNED UP,
738
00:26:37,100 --> 00:26:40,001
BUT, UNFORTUNATELY,
IT WAS RATHER DISAPPOINTING.
739
00:26:40,003 --> 00:26:41,836
LADY GODIVA WEARING
A BODY STOCKING?
740
00:26:41,838 --> 00:26:45,506
NO--SHE WAS
ABSOLUTELY STARK NAKED.
741
00:26:45,508 --> 00:26:46,808
WOW.
742
00:26:46,810 --> 00:26:49,643
WELL, I HADN'T HAD TIME
TO GO TO THE HAIRDRESSER,
743
00:26:49,645 --> 00:26:51,712
SO I WASN'T
LOOKING MY BEST.
744
00:26:51,714 --> 00:26:53,546
I BET YOU WERE...
745
00:26:53,548 --> 00:26:55,548
YOU SAUCE-POT.
746
00:26:57,886 --> 00:27:01,888
♪ SURELY GOODNESS AND MERCY ♪
747
00:27:01,890 --> 00:27:05,225
♪ SHALL FOLLOW ME ♪
748
00:27:05,227 --> 00:27:08,561
♪ ALL THE DAYS OF MY LIFE ♪
749
00:27:08,563 --> 00:27:10,897
♪ AND I WILL DWELL ♪
750
00:27:10,899 --> 00:27:13,899
♪ IN THE HOUSE ♪
751
00:27:13,901 --> 00:27:20,572
♪ OF THE LORD FOREVER ♪
752
00:27:22,910 --> 00:27:26,812
♪ FOREVER ♪
753
00:27:27,882 --> 00:27:29,849
SO, THERE'S
THIS NUN, RIGHT?
754
00:27:29,851 --> 00:27:31,283
AND SHE'S
HAVING A BATH,
755
00:27:31,285 --> 00:27:33,119
AND A KNOCK
COMES ON THE DOOR.
756
00:27:33,121 --> 00:27:34,620
OH, DEAR.
YEAH.
757
00:27:34,622 --> 00:27:36,388
AND SHE SAYS,
"WHO IS IT?"
758
00:27:36,390 --> 00:27:38,656
AND THE REPLY COMES,
"IT'S THE BLIND MAN.
759
00:27:38,658 --> 00:27:39,724
CAN I COME IN?"
760
00:27:39,726 --> 00:27:41,292
AND SHE THINKS
FOR A MINUTE,
761
00:27:41,294 --> 00:27:43,128
AND SHE SAYS,
"YES, COME IN."
762
00:27:43,130 --> 00:27:45,797
SO, THIS CHAP COMES IN
AND SAYS, "NICE TITS,
763
00:27:45,799 --> 00:27:48,499
WHERE DO YOU WANT ME
TO HANG THE BLIND?"
764
00:27:50,570 --> 00:27:51,903
OH!
765
00:27:53,240 --> 00:27:55,240
NO, NO.
766
00:27:55,242 --> 00:27:57,742
MM, MM, MM, MM.
767
00:27:57,744 --> 00:27:58,943
YEAH.
768
00:28:02,481 --> 00:28:04,214
YEAH, YEAH.
769
00:28:04,216 --> 00:28:05,949
YEAH.
48808
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