All language subtitles for Resident Alien S02E07

- Previously
on "Resident Alien"...

- Open up. It's me.

When we went to that
charity thing in New York,

they said that the money
was for the clinic.

- Okay, you need to calm down.

- Calm down? I can't calm down.

They're threatening
our families.

- Um...
- Sorry.

- It's okay. I gotta go.
- Right. Got it.

It's receiving a signal.

- What does it say?

- It's a phone number.

- Pack your bags.
We're going to New York.

- Too many people.

The last island that had
this many humans on it

was Atlantis, and that did not
turn out well.

- Hey, I would like
two slices of pepperoni.

- Anything else?

- Does an alien live here?

- This is the number you got.

Something has to be here.

- It says "Goliath."

I am marking every one

of Goliath's murals
in the city.

That is where
we will find Goliath.

- What can I get you?

- What do you got?

- Someone here must be Goliath.

Does anyone look
alien to you?

- Everything you need to know
about Goliath is on the canvas.

- Goliath believes acid helps
you shed your human chains.

- I would like to shed
my human chains.

- How long have you known
Harry's an alien?

- This is some bullshit.

- When I first came to Earth,

I thought I would be watching
the death--

The colors are exploding
everywhere!

Ooh!

Watching the death

of all these humans
from my ship

after I dropped my device.

Things have changed.

- What makes you think
Harry's an alien?

- Come with me.

You're nervous. I understand.
But don't be.

I know who Harry is,
and I know why you're here.

- How?
How do you know that?

- I recognize his energy.

Goliath grew to love it here,
but it was never natural.

He lived with a lot
of inner turmoil.

You can see it in his art.

- Wait, you said "lived"?

What--please tell me
that Goliath is here.

- Goliath is here.

Okay.

What is this?

- This is Goliath.

- I don't understand.

- After Goliath came to Earth,

we became
each other's whole world.

But his great wish

was to connect
with one of his people again.

The signal that brought you
here was a personal invitation.

Goliath held out
for as long as he could.

But six months ago, he--

well, you can see for yourself.

Their species fossilize
when they die.

- No, this can't be.

Goliath cannot be dead.

We came all this way,

and you don't understand
what's at stake!

- I'm sorry.
This is all there is.

- If you came here to speak
with Goliath,

that's not going to happen.

- Oh, God.

Oh, my God.
What happened?

You are alien.

- Well, I took some LSD
on my tongue.

And now I'm surrounded
by horrible creatures.

I just saw an alien

take off its head,

and there was a human inside!

Do I have a human
inside of me?

How many licks does it take

to get to the human?

- New York City Public Library.

Okay, I know where you are.
Don't go anywhere.

I will be right there.

- Feeling better?

- Yes.

The ice is stabilizing
my human form.

I saw so many humans today.

Humans are gross.

But...they have each other.

Like those two--
- Harry.

- This is their home.

I want to meet someone like me

so maybe...

I can feel like I am home.

- Yeah, about that.

I spoke to Violinda
at the party.

She knows Goliath.

Or did know him.

He's dead, Harry.

- Goliath was dead as soon as
he became more human than me.

- Hmm.

- Hey.
- Hi.

- You're home early.
- Yeah.

- Ah.
How are you?

How was your mom?

- Well, turns out,
by "quality time,"

she meant 24-7 tech support.

- Mm.
- So...

What have you been up to?
- Nothin'.

Yeah, doin' nothin'.

Just alone.
Alone vibes.

You know, vibin' it.

- Nice.
- Mm-hmm.

- Okay.
Let me take this upstairs.

- Nope!
Ah, wouldn't hear of it.

I'll take this up later.

- Okay. Thank you.

- Mm-hmm.

- Oh, would you grab Max's bag?
He went to Sahar's.

- Yeah.

Huh.

That's weird.

- Yeah, weird.
How did--how did that happen?

- Hmm.
- Hmm.

- Oh, wow.

You put that up.

Wasn't it in the closet?

- You hate it.
- No, I don't.

A lot of people
have that in their homes.

- Okay, I'll take it down.

- No. If you wanna keep it up,
you should keep it up.

- Do you want me to keep it up?
- I want what you want.

- I want what you want.
You know, if you want.

- Did you move
the coffee table?

- Yeah, I'll just take it down.

- Morning.

- Hey, Liv.

Oh, I was thinking
of starting a donation jar

for the coffeepots.

You know, you shouldn't
have to pay for those yourself.

- Thank you.

I really appreciate that.

Why--why are you putting
that sign in here?

- Well, I thought
you might like it.

You know, bring just
a real artistic statement

into the office.

What do you--
what do you think?

- Do I have to say I like it
for you to do the donation jar?

I...

love it.

- Great!
It stays up.

I'll--I'll get a jar.
- Okay.

Hey, can I show you something
real quick?

- Yeah, you bet.

- I think I'm going
to post this video.

- "Incredible UFO in Patience."

No, you can't post that.

You know, people already
think Patience

is a murder town.

You want them to think
it's an alien town too?

- But if this is real,

don't I owe it to the world
to share this?

- Yeah, as long as you
change the headline

to "Incredible UFO
Near Jessup."

Backspace.
- Hey.

- Oh.

- Jab me in the arm.

- Seems like a lawsuit.

- Oh, is it?

Oh, look at this.
Am I jabbing myself?

Am I jabbing myself?
I can't feel anything.

You know why?
'Cause I cut myself

this morning on the fence
and needed stitches,

and Dr. Smallwood put
my whole damn arm to sleep.

How am I supposed to work with
a dead tree-trunk arm, huh?

Oh, let me see.
Let's see how.

Let me just grab a pen.

Oh, look at that.

Deputy, looks like
you gonna have to write

my police reports today.

- I already do that, sir.

- Well, good.

Then we're prepared.

- Look, I'm sure
that it's a simple mistake.

I mean, Dr. Smallwood
is an institution.

She literally delivered me
as a baby.

- Didn't she literally
deliver your parents too?

- Yeah,
I don't think that's relevant.

- Look, you need
to fire her ass

before a bunch of elves

move into
my tree-trunk arm here

and start making cookies.

- One mistake should not ruin
a woman's life.

- It's more than one mistake!

- I saw her for a sore throat,

and she diagnosed me
with hysteria.

- I think that you're both
blowing this out of proportion.

You know,
I'm getting the results today

for my yearly checkup,

and I am sure that she
will be as spry as ever.

You know, last time I saw her,
she did a cartwheel.

- No, she didn't.

- No, she didn't.

But I bet she could.

- Seen enough?

I really don't
wanna miss the flight.

- I wanted to see this one
Goliath mural before we left.

I did not think
I would miss my octopus friend,

because I thought
I was meeting alien family.

But now they're both dead.

I feel very alone.

- I'm sorry you didn't get
to see family on this trip.

No Goliath...

no idea how we're gonna
save the world.

What are we gonna do now?
- I do not know.

Goliath was our last chance

to contact my planet

and my last chance to meet
one of my people on Earth.

Now I will die
without having a conversation

in my beautiful language.

I will be forced
to talk to myself.

- I'd tell you to keep it down,
but we're in New York.

Weird is normal here, so...

Do you think Goliath
had an octopus friend too?

- Maybe.

I don't know
how his mind worked, though.

Maybe this painting
is just random.

- It is not random.

Everything my people do
has purpose.

- Okay, well,
it's really confusing,

'cause it feels like he
brought us here for no reason.

- Not confusing.
Impossible.

Goliath knew of me,

knew that I was stranded.

However human he had become,

he would never have brought me
here without a reason.

Are you sure Goliath did not
leave anything for me?

- Violinda
didn't mention anything.

- Do you think
she is hiding something?

- I don't know.

I mean, she seemed like
she was genuinely grieving.

She was really sad
when she showed me his body.

- You saw Goliath's dead body?

- Yeah.

You could've told me
that your people

turned to stone when they died

or that they die standing up,
for that matter.

- He was standing up?

Goliath was standing?

- Yes, his dead body was.

What?

- I have--we have to go.

- Harry!

- She murdered her husband,

and now she's profiting
from his stuff.

This here is a murder sale.

- That's what you
called us out here for?

- Uh-huh.
- Look.

Mrs. Hodges
is currently awaiting trial

on the crime
that she is accused of.

She has every legal right
to have a yard sale,

which is more than I can say
about you and that shirt.

Now, why don't you
take your ass home

before a flock of flamingos
come lookin' for they daddy?

- Thank you, Sheriff.

- I'm just an impartial
administrator of the law.

- Well, I'm probably gonna box
all this up anyway.

Apparently, nobody wants to buy
antique spoons from a murderer,

so I'll probably just
take it all to Goodwill.

- Hold on a minute.

Look at this. Hey, Deputy.

Look at this.

Who do I look like?

- A hipster poet?

- No. Dick Tracy, damn it.

Greatest detective in history.

Invented the watch phone.

Never saw a dime
of the profits, though.

- Because he was
a cartoon character?

- How much you want for this?

- I don't know.
20 bucks?

- Sold.
- It's a good deal.

It was Sam's.
He only wore it once.

We were flying to Montana,

and he left his old hat
on the plane,

so he got that one
at the airport.

He looked really cute in it.

Listen, Sheriff, I'm sorry.

I've changed my mind.
I can't sell it.

- Okay.
It's no problem.

Let's see what else
we got around here.

I remember these.

Sam loved
these mystery novels.

Always trying
to get me to read one.

Told me it would help me
solve crimes.

All right, tell you what.
I'll give you...

50 bucks
for the whole lot of them.

- Oh, no, no.
Sheriff, that's too much.

Listen,
if Sam wanted you to have them,

then you don't pay.

Just consider it a gift
from Sam to you.

- Thank you, Mrs. Hodges.
That's very kind.

Yeah, all right.

Deputy?
- Mm. Mm-hmm.

- She seem like a woman
who killed her husband to you?

- No, sir, she doesn't.

- No, that's grief right there.
Plain and simple.

I mean, a woman
who kills her husband

don't hang on to no old hat
just to remember him by.

- And Bloom goes down.

- D'arcy,
you had a bad fall.

- They said I could've
lost my leg

or even died.

Oh, you're going that way?

- That's weird.

- Hey.

I didn't know
you worked out here.

- Yeah, I--
I took a recovery day.

For about 15 years.

Glad to have you back.

- Oh, you're at a six?

That's cute. I'm at a seven.

- You need glasses.

That's an eight.

Sure you can handle that?

Aren't you
a little out of practice?

- I have an advantage.

Stopped being able to feel
my legs after I did squats.

You got it.

That is gonna hurt tomorrow.

- Yeah, but it's a good hurt.

My coach always says
it's gotta hurt to work.

- College?
- Yeah.

I ran the 1,500
and 5,000 at CU.

Got second in the NCAA finals
my senior year.

- Legit.

- Hoo.

- Oh, you okay?

- Yeah, yeah.
Think I overdid it.

Just need some water.
- Yeah, I get it.

I almost blew chunks
all over poor Mr. Gibbons

on the elliptical.

All right, I'm done.

Let's head over to The 59.

Got some protein shakes.

- You do?
- Yeah.

Well, beers.

It's got half a gram
of protein in it.

I mean, it's better than that
garbage you're drinking anyway.

What is that?

- It's water.
- Ugh.

Water.

- I need to see Goliath.

- Please stop.

I told you he passed on.

I wish you would
respect my privacy.

- I tried.
But I can't stop him.

- Where is Goliath?

- You need to leave.

- Harry, we have to leave.

She wants us to go.

- Asta.

- This way.

- No.
No, you can't be here!

- No!
No!

- What the hell is that?

It's our baby.

- You need to leave.

I'm not letting you
take my child.

- I could just rip
your arms off.

- Stop it. What do you mean,
that's your baby?

- Goliath used my genetic
tissue to get pregnant.

- Goliath contacted me.
This is why.

- Hello?
Anyone here?

- I'll take care of it.

- Sorry, the door was open.

Are you Violinda Darvell?

- Yes.

We're not open quite yet.

You'll have to leave.

- I'm a little desperate.

I'm interested
in buying some art,

and I was told
you might be able to help.

An artist named Goliath?

- Unfortunately,
I'm busy right now.

- Are you sure
you can't spare a few minutes?

- You're a freakin' Picasso!

Did you draw this picture?

- Yeah, I draw police
composites of criminals.

- Oh, shit.

- Here you go.
On the house.

- Oh, thank you.
That's very generous.

- Mm.

This tastes like soap.

- Oh, yeah. Sorry.

It's a local brewery,

which means it's just a guy
that makes beer in his bathtub.

I'll get you
a different kind--

- No, no.
That's not it.

Oh, no.

- What?

The last time
that this happened,

I was in my first trimester
with Max.

Plus the dizziness
at the gym...

- You think you're pregnant?

- I think so.

- I mean, congratulations.

We gotta get some champagne.

- I can't drink
if I'm pregnant.

- I know.

- What's wrong?

- I just don't know how I feel
about having another kid.

- Oh, right.

'Cause of Max.
- What do you mean?

- I didn't--what do you mean?
What do you mean?

- Having another kid
means my entire life

gets put on hold
for the next 18 years.

I have to reset the clock.

Of course,
Ben would be thrilled.

I mean, he would.

Are you sure he would?

- Why?
Did he say something to you?

- Why would he say anything
to me?

It's not like we sit around
having conversations

about you guys having kids,
right?

- Yeah.

- Maybe he changed his mind.

You know,
I change my mind all the time.

Like, earlier, I was sure
I was gonna have only one beer,

and now I'm thinking
I might have six.

- Trust me.

I know my husband.

He wants more kids.

He'd start a family band
if he could.

- Yeah, that's--he's--

you know,
you know your husband.

- Ah, right on time, as always.
Punctual.

You're a great doctor.
- Thank you.

Unfortunately,
I have some bad news for you.

- What's that?

- Your blood tests indicate
cancer in your colon.

It's very aggressive.

- Ah.

- That's Mrs. Patel's chart.

- Whoops.
- This is Ben Hawthorne's.

- Wait.

So I don't have cancer?

- No.

Low in vitamin D.

Get some sun.

Have a good day.

- Don't tell Mrs. Patel
if you see her.

Yikes.

- Sorry, hang on.

Dr. Smallwood, you basically
just told me that I was dying.

- I had the wrong chart.

It happens.
- Should it?

- No.

- Could you
give us some privacy?

- Also no.

Okay, well...

Dr. Smallwood,
I am sorry to have to do this.

I mean, you will always be
a pillar of this community.

But I am going to have to...

Ask you
if you have ever considered

taking an extended vacation.

You know, maybe buy a van?
See the world?

- He's trying to fire you.
- Mm.

- You're not the doctor
you used to be,

and if you keep working here,

you might kill someone.

- Is this true?

- It's not not true.

- You're a sweet boy for not
wanting to tell me that.

You're not sweet at all.

It even looked like
you enjoyed it.

- I didn't not enjoy it.

And now
we officially have no doctor.

- I pulled out our hiring files
when I realized

Smallwood was about to tell you
you were dying.

- Seems like you had time
to stop her, but okay.

- Dr. Vanderspeigle
is our only real candidate.

Good doctor
but not much to look at.

He's a Patience six,
which is a Denver four,

which is a California one.

- Not sure if any of that's
legal to say.

He has a birthday coming up.

You know,
maybe I could convince him.

- Sneaky.
Buy him a present.

Soften him up.

You've just moved up
to a Patience three.

- Thanks.

- Goliath pieces
are very rare.

You could try the curator
at the Guggenheim.

I certainly can't help you.

I could just kill her.

No. No more killing.

Just a minute.
She'll leave.

- Hmm.

What about this piece?

This is a Goliath.

- It's part
of my personal collection.

It's not for sale.
- Hmm.

Seems like it means
a lot to you.

Did you know him?

- I don't think
that's any of your business.

You need to leave now.

Don't take this the wrong way,

but I can tell
by looking at you,

you can't afford
a piece like this.

You'd be surprised
by my resources.

What's in the bag?

No!

I'm sorry.
You're right.

Goliath wanted you
to have the egg.

It's why you were sent for.

Goliath knew it needed an alien
to guide and protect it.

An alien with emotions,

like you.

- Who was he?

- He was a man
who stepped out of the jungle

that I fell in love with.

Goliath told me you would come
when the time is right.

I know now why he said
it was very important

for you to have the egg.

Goliath warned me there would
be people coming for it.

Promise you will take care
of my baby.

- I promise.

- Harry, she's gone.

- They want the egg.
They won't stop.

Go out the back.

- Okay.

- Ooh!

- Hey!

- Who the hell are these guys?

Max is just getting

to the point where I can
leave him home alone

without it being
a child services issue.

- Hmm.

- Unless he gets
into the matches.

- I mean,
if I can handle the drunks

that come through this place,

kid can't be that much worse.

- You saying you actually
wanna have a kid?

- First I'd have to find
the right guy

to have his life ruined by me.

Ooh, anyone special in mind?

- Do I have a victim in mind?

Dating me is kind of like
walking into a war zone.

- Hey, I think you're a catch.

And if you wanted to,

I think you would be
a great mom.

- Come on.

- Imagine if you were pregnant.

We could be pregnancy buddies.

- We can get them matching

"This is what a feminist
looks like" onesies.

- I mean, you'd have to be
willing to give up the freedom

to do whatever you want
whenever you want.

I mean, you could just jet off
to Paris right now.

- But I won't.

I'll just jet home
to my nail polish collection.

I have a lot of nail polish.

At least your baby won't make
you high when you sniff it.

- Take it easy.

You know, it's--

it's not like I know for sure
that I'm pregnant.

- Well, let's find out.

Here at The 59, we cater to
every stage of a relationship.

Condoms, pregnancy tests,
paternity tests,

plus a divorce lawyer
who starts his weekend bender

on Thursday afternoon.

Mm.

Thank God
these are still in stock.

Judy goes through them
like Tic Tacs that you piss on.

- I don't know.

I'm not sure I'm ready
for the answer yet.

Not feelin' as brave as you.

- You didn't see me run away

from the leg press
at the gym today.

- So you skipped one machine.
It was your first day back.

When you're ready,
it'll be there.

- Keep it on you.

When you're ready,
it'll be there.

- Why do we have to ride
on this train for two days?

What if someone ties a lady
to the tracks?

If they tie her lengthwise,

it could derail us.

- It could.

But it won't, because this
isn't a silent movie, Harry.

And we didn't have a choice.

Pretty sure TSA
won't let you on a plane

with something like that
in a bag.

Do you even know
if and when it will hatch?

- No.

On my planet,
we mate with a genetic partner.

The partner
who carries the offspring

incubates hundreds of eggs.

This is just one egg.

One of my kind...

mating with a human partner.

I do not know
what this will look like.

I do not know
when it will come.

It could be hatching in a year.

It could be hatching right now.

Or...now.

Or now.

- Fantastic.

What are we
supposed to do now?

- Goliath wanted me
to have this egg.

He knew what would happen
if he became impregnated.

Goliath died
so I could have this baby.

- I'm gonna go get a tea.

Do you want anything?

- No.

Ice cream sandwich!

I went to New York
to find an alien

even a little like me.

Now when I look at this egg,

I think I have found
something different,

a baby contaminated
with human emotion,

part alien and part human.

It is not a little like me.

It is just like me.

- What's going on, Mike?

You haven't turned the page
since you came in.

I--

I got a bunch of these books

from Abigail Hodges, and...

thought they'd help me
take my mind off some stuff,

but it's not working so well.

- Something you wanna
talk about?

Share with a fellow soldier
what's on your mind?

- Oh,
I kind of feel stuck lately.

You know, like
I'm in the middle of something,

but I'm not sure which way
is the right way to go.

- Hmm.

- Look, between you and me...

I think I made a mistake.

I think I might've put
the wrong person behind bars.

Last time I made a big mistake
like that was back in D.C.,

and my partner,
he didn't go home that day.

- Tough break.

- Yeah.

- If I had my sage,
I'd smudge you.

- Mm.

- Free pie is a close second.

Psh, I'll take it.

I was doing guard duty
in Vietnam.

Dreamin' about the burgers
we'd order back home.

Tellin' dirty jokes.

- Pretendin'
we weren't scared shitless.

It was an ambush.

My buddy hit the floor.

I just stood there
like an idiot

till he bled out.

- Jesus, Dan.

- Medic told me
it wasn't my fault.

Called it a...
sucking chest wound.

But I couldn't shake the guilt.

And I ran from that mistake
for years.

Almost died from it.

- I'm sorry.

I mean, how do you even survive
something like that?

- It's not
about the surviving.

Any soldier who's still with us
is surviving.

A soldier has to prevail.

Learned to honor Joe.

Now he's with me every day.

If you wanna honor
your partner,

be the best cop you can be.

Put the right person
behind bars.

- Deputy. Hey.

I've been waiting out front
for the last ten minutes.

You forget
I was picking you up?

- Yeah, I'm sorry.

I've been tied up.

Just, like, police stuff.

- Pullin' UFOs over
for speeding again?

- I'm sorry.

I'm just feeling
a little stupid.

I posted that UFO video,
and people think it's fake.

- Hey, the only thing stupid
is believing

what someone
on the internet thinks.

Ignore them.

- It's not just one person.

It's most of them,
and someone used a filter

to change the UFO
into a doughnut.

They don't even know I'm a cop.

- That looks pretty realistic.

Now I'm hungry.

Let's stop and get one
on the way home.

- Sorry.

I need ten more minutes.

- Okay.
- Okay.

- I changed my mind.
I want tea--

- You should've cleaned up
after yourself.

Now, you're gonna give me
that egg,

and you're gonna tell me
where it came from.

- Ow.

You.

- What the--
how did that window break?

- I do not know.

It is a very cheap train.
Everything breaks.

- Oh, my God.

What--
what happened to your face?

- I may have killed
the bad woman.

It's okay.
I threw her out the window.

She's gone.

Did you get
my ice cream sandwich?

- Sir, we've been through
this room a thousand times.

Do you really think
we've been missing something?

- Yeah, well, before,
we were trying to get

in the killer's head.

Maybe it's time
we try to get into Sam's.

Okay, so I'm a small-town
doctor, right?

Nice guy.
Whole town loves me.

So why would somebody
want me dead?

Medical malpractice?
I don't think so.

I'm too damn good at what I do.

Did I witness something?

Did I know something that
made somebody wanna kill me?

- I was smart.

If I knew something
important and dangerous,

I might've written it down.

- Yeah, but where?

Wait.

Sam loved these books.

- Sir?

- The sex-crazed detective
in these books,

when he thought
somebody was after him,

he would take his case notes,
and he would put them

in the back of paintings
in his office.

- Come on.

- Shit.

You know what?
Maybe it's just a dumb book.

- Even if he hid
something here,

it would probably be gone
by now.

I mean, we've had
three doctors since.

Any one of them could've
changed these paintings.

- Not that one.

Not this one.

Sheriff.

Holy shit.

- Patience must be nearer
to my planet than New York.

When I am here,
I feel closer to home.

- You gonna tell me
what's goin' on?

You haven't talked
this whole ride.

I don't like it
when you're quiet.

Makes me nervous.

The alien we went to see

was dead.

But it gave birth to an egg,

and now it's in Harry's bag.

- I liked it more
when you were quiet.

- Me too.

- Congratulations!

I heard you adopted a baby.

- Do not worry.
It has not hatched yet.

If it did, you would know.

It would probably spit acid.

It'll be a relief that
we put that egg somewhere safe.

Finally a use for that
stupid bunker of yours.

- I built that stupid bunker
to save your life.

- Uh-huh.
- So that everyone in the world

would die but me and you.

- Thanks for including me.

all: Surprise!

- Ah!

Happy birthday,
Dr. Vanderspeigle.

Glad to have you
back in Patience.

Speech!

- Get out of my house!