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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:22,922 --> 00:01:26,734 Here, in this mansion in a quiet London square, 2 00:01:26,769 --> 00:01:29,367 a man lies dying. 3 00:01:29,477 --> 00:01:34,107 And as he dies, the world remembers the feats which made him famous. 4 00:01:34,142 --> 00:01:39,919 The outrageous pranks, which time and again shook officialdom to its very foundations. 5 00:01:39,954 --> 00:01:45,636 Yes, Henry Augustus Russell will soon be joining the great majority. 6 00:01:45,979 --> 00:01:51,686 It's hard to believe that this frail ghostlike figure was once the greatest practical joker of modern times. 7 00:01:53,890 --> 00:01:57,903 The dusky eastern potentate who so nearly purchased The Albert Hall. 8 00:01:57,938 --> 00:02:01,142 The bronzed red-indian chief, feted for swimming the Channel... 9 00:02:01,177 --> 00:02:03,039 complete with feathered headdress and tomahawk. 10 00:02:03,562 --> 00:02:09,144 Goodbye Henry Russell... your last practical joke is done. 11 00:02:10,877 --> 00:02:12,372 Or is it? 12 00:02:27,118 --> 00:02:28,853 Telegram... 13 00:02:29,130 --> 00:02:30,761 For Miss Agnes Russell. 14 00:02:30,796 --> 00:02:32,415 Thank you. 15 00:02:32,590 --> 00:02:35,889 Oh... will you please wait here. 16 00:02:44,428 --> 00:02:45,860 Come in! 17 00:02:46,928 --> 00:02:49,346 Excuse me ma'am... there's a telegram. 18 00:02:49,381 --> 00:02:51,890 That's no excuse coming in here looking like a chimneysweep... 19 00:02:51,925 --> 00:02:53,416 Go and put your apron on at once! 20 00:02:53,451 --> 00:02:54,769 Yes ma'am. 21 00:02:56,089 --> 00:02:58,082 But the boy's waiting for a reply. 22 00:02:58,117 --> 00:03:00,665 Well, let him wait... that's what he's paid for. 23 00:03:18,225 --> 00:03:19,334 It's dusty. 24 00:03:19,369 --> 00:03:21,636 Ethel... you see this photograph... 25 00:03:22,478 --> 00:03:23,446 Yes, ma'am... 26 00:03:24,665 --> 00:03:26,447 Well, don't stand there... come here! 27 00:03:30,682 --> 00:03:32,479 My brother... he died this morning. 28 00:03:32,514 --> 00:03:34,295 Oh, I am sorry, ma'am... 29 00:03:34,330 --> 00:03:35,918 This photograph is smothered with dust! 30 00:03:36,923 --> 00:03:39,306 But if I'd known the poor gentleman had passed away... 31 00:03:39,367 --> 00:03:43,027 It should not be necessary for people to die in order to have their photograph dusted. 32 00:03:43,062 --> 00:03:44,688 No, ma'am. 33 00:03:46,691 --> 00:03:48,806 I'm ever so sorry about your bad news, ma'am. 34 00:03:48,841 --> 00:03:49,674 You have reason to be. 35 00:03:50,122 --> 00:03:53,585 For I shall now be able to afford some servants who know their duty. 36 00:03:53,620 --> 00:03:55,477 You can take a fortnight's notice from today. 37 00:03:56,546 --> 00:03:58,018 Now go! 38 00:04:05,059 --> 00:04:06,719 Mr Russell, it's useless arguing. 39 00:04:06,754 --> 00:04:10,360 If every bank clerk in every bank in England was half a crown short in his calculations every week... 40 00:04:10,395 --> 00:04:12,610 Do you know how much that would cost? 41 00:04:22,796 --> 00:04:24,432 If you like to let me have pencil and paper sir... 42 00:04:24,467 --> 00:04:26,425 I'll work it out for you if you really want to know. 43 00:04:26,460 --> 00:04:29,487 I don't want to know... I want you to think about it! 44 00:04:29,522 --> 00:04:32,514 Oh, yes sir... It's a very disturbing thought sir. 45 00:04:33,863 --> 00:04:35,434 But sometimes sir, it isn't easy. 46 00:04:35,469 --> 00:04:37,970 If it was easy, Mr Russell, there'd be no need for bank clerks. 47 00:04:38,005 --> 00:04:39,742 Yes... no, sir. 48 00:04:40,277 --> 00:04:41,288 Come in! 49 00:04:41,323 --> 00:04:42,644 Sorry to disturb you, sir... 50 00:04:43,306 --> 00:04:45,840 There's a person in the bank asking for Mr Russell. 51 00:04:45,875 --> 00:04:47,445 Let one of the other clerks deal with him. 52 00:04:47,480 --> 00:04:50,666 It's a personal visit, sir... a lady... a Mrs Goodwin. 53 00:04:50,701 --> 00:04:53,980 Oh?... Who might this lady be? 54 00:04:54,015 --> 00:04:55,932 No sir, she's no lady... she's my landlady. 55 00:04:57,214 --> 00:04:59,430 The bank, Mr Russell, is no place for music-hall repartee... 56 00:04:59,465 --> 00:05:00,521 Get rid of her at once. 57 00:05:01,270 --> 00:05:02,264 Yessir. 58 00:05:10,084 --> 00:05:12,021 I'm sorry to worry you like this sir, but she was most... 59 00:05:12,056 --> 00:05:13,881 Wipe that syncopatic smile off your face! 60 00:05:17,301 --> 00:05:18,195 Hello, Mrs Goodwin. 61 00:05:18,230 --> 00:05:20,688 Oh, Mr Russell... I thought I'd better pop in. 62 00:05:20,723 --> 00:05:23,840 Just after you left, a telegraphic communication arrived for you. 63 00:05:23,875 --> 00:05:26,393 And I thought it might be urgent. 64 00:05:27,174 --> 00:05:28,445 I didn't open it, of course... 65 00:05:28,480 --> 00:05:30,044 So I don't know what there may be in it. 66 00:05:30,079 --> 00:05:34,586 But I think you should be prepared for some rather sad news. 67 00:05:37,026 --> 00:05:39,901 Oh, Mr Russell... was he very dear to you? 68 00:05:39,936 --> 00:05:42,775 Pray accept my heartiest condolences! 69 00:05:44,217 --> 00:05:46,630 Thank you Mrs Goodwin... thank you! 70 00:05:46,665 --> 00:05:49,115 Not at all, I'm sure. 71 00:05:49,150 --> 00:05:51,565 Well... see you at supper. 72 00:05:51,600 --> 00:05:52,786 Yes. 73 00:06:00,917 --> 00:06:02,349 Not bad news, I hope...? 74 00:06:03,045 --> 00:06:04,598 Yes, in a way it was, yes. 75 00:06:04,633 --> 00:06:07,382 A distant cousin of mine has just died. 76 00:06:07,417 --> 00:06:10,739 Henry Russell... you've probably read about him. 77 00:06:12,094 --> 00:06:16,123 He was always telling me that I lacked 'push'. 78 00:06:16,158 --> 00:06:17,968 Yes, 'push' I think it was. 79 00:06:18,003 --> 00:06:22,356 Nonsense... why don't you go and ask Mr Wagstaffe for the afternoon off? 80 00:06:22,391 --> 00:06:24,072 Everyone does on these occasions. 81 00:06:24,107 --> 00:06:25,520 Oh, no... I couldn't! 82 00:06:26,195 --> 00:06:29,118 Go on!... Show you've got some push. 83 00:06:31,267 --> 00:06:32,330 Go on! 84 00:06:32,802 --> 00:06:34,514 Yes... why not?! 85 00:06:36,015 --> 00:06:39,251 Yes... I jolly well will! 86 00:07:01,959 --> 00:07:03,282 Come in! 87 00:07:18,665 --> 00:07:19,799 Yes?! 88 00:07:22,652 --> 00:07:24,362 I... 89 00:07:25,451 --> 00:07:26,746 Well? 90 00:07:27,530 --> 00:07:30,979 A distant cousin of mine has just died, sir... 91 00:07:31,014 --> 00:07:32,214 How distant? 92 00:07:34,709 --> 00:07:35,766 A long way off, sir. 93 00:07:35,801 --> 00:07:36,823 What about it, then? 94 00:07:37,783 --> 00:07:40,349 Well, it seems I'm a beneficiary under his will, sir. 95 00:07:40,384 --> 00:07:43,548 Just because you've come into a few pounds, doesn't mean you can behave like a millionaire! 96 00:07:43,583 --> 00:07:45,769 You'll be asking for the afternoon off, next! 97 00:07:49,639 --> 00:07:50,465 Oh, no sir. 98 00:07:51,914 --> 00:07:53,193 Oh, no. 99 00:07:57,901 --> 00:07:59,069 No. 100 00:08:06,212 --> 00:08:07,686 I'll raise you a fiver. 101 00:08:09,448 --> 00:08:10,494 Your 5... 102 00:08:11,999 --> 00:08:13,324 ...and 10 more, Russell. 103 00:08:14,200 --> 00:08:15,197 Tenner, eh?... 104 00:08:16,197 --> 00:08:16,986 I'll see you. 105 00:08:19,198 --> 00:08:20,082 Fours... 106 00:08:24,099 --> 00:08:25,010 Fours? 107 00:08:25,649 --> 00:08:26,707 How high? 108 00:08:27,981 --> 00:08:29,409 4 kings. 109 00:08:29,444 --> 00:08:31,636 If you beat that, I'll eat my cigar. 110 00:08:34,438 --> 00:08:37,271 Better start eating, old son... 4 aces! 111 00:08:37,306 --> 00:08:40,070 - Telegram sir... - Open it, Benson. 112 00:08:40,105 --> 00:08:42,639 Bad luck, old boy... but I did have the decency not to raise you. 113 00:08:42,674 --> 00:08:44,563 Very kind of you Simon, I'm sure. 114 00:08:44,598 --> 00:08:46,968 Well, I hate fleecing a pal in my own flat. 115 00:08:51,232 --> 00:08:52,002 What?... 116 00:08:53,897 --> 00:08:55,269 Fantastic! 117 00:08:58,038 --> 00:08:59,390 Well... you'll have to carry on without me... 118 00:08:59,425 --> 00:09:01,533 So make yourselves at home... there's plenty of whisky... 119 00:09:03,240 --> 00:09:04,593 Well, I like that! 120 00:09:04,684 --> 00:09:06,172 You would pardon Mr Russell, sir... 121 00:09:06,207 --> 00:09:08,239 He's had some very sad news. 122 00:09:08,274 --> 00:09:10,272 My heart bleeds for him. 123 00:09:12,747 --> 00:09:14,575 Hello... Mr Endicott? 124 00:09:14,610 --> 00:09:16,674 Simon Russell here... I just got your wire. 125 00:09:16,709 --> 00:09:17,466 Is it true? 126 00:09:18,143 --> 00:09:19,014 Splendid!... 127 00:09:19,049 --> 00:09:22,784 Yes, I thought it might have been another of those infernal practical jokes of his. 128 00:09:23,569 --> 00:09:25,110 See you on Wednesday at the celebration. 129 00:09:25,840 --> 00:09:27,852 No... of course... I mean the funeral... I'm sorry! 130 00:09:28,752 --> 00:09:30,702 I'm happy as a lark! 131 00:09:30,737 --> 00:09:32,659 Benson... my dinner jacket... I'm celebrating tonight. 132 00:09:32,694 --> 00:09:35,553 Now look here... get on to Christine... and tell her... no... she drinks too much... 133 00:09:35,588 --> 00:09:37,936 Call Zena, and tell her to meet me at The Garter... 134 00:09:37,971 --> 00:09:39,490 She's always a certainty. 135 00:09:42,050 --> 00:09:42,899 Are you ready Miss Wilcott? 136 00:09:42,934 --> 00:09:44,543 - Yes. - Good. 137 00:09:45,194 --> 00:09:46,807 "Blood Lust"... 138 00:09:46,842 --> 00:09:48,740 A novel by Jeremy Sinclair 139 00:09:48,775 --> 00:09:51,103 Chapter I... entitled "Sweet Meeting" 140 00:09:51,138 --> 00:09:52,249 Paragraph 141 00:09:52,284 --> 00:09:56,447 I walked into the room and there stood Petal... 142 00:09:57,246 --> 00:10:00,823 her silken hair languorously caressing one fair cheek... 143 00:10:00,858 --> 00:10:04,330 her lips, red and inviting... 144 00:10:05,178 --> 00:10:08,446 I walked over to her and slugged her on the mouth... 145 00:10:10,796 --> 00:10:13,767 No... no... change that, Miss Wilcott... to... 146 00:10:13,802 --> 00:10:14,714 slugged her in the kisser... 147 00:10:16,190 --> 00:10:17,221 Kisser! 148 00:10:19,751 --> 00:10:23,074 Before going down, she threw me a single glance... 149 00:10:23,109 --> 00:10:26,810 of searing hate suffused with scorn... 150 00:10:27,877 --> 00:10:30,326 She was certainly a swell tomato! 151 00:10:31,536 --> 00:10:35,729 That's a beautiful beginning, Capt. Russell... It really is! 152 00:10:35,764 --> 00:10:38,748 I'm afraid it's all rather disgusting really, 153 00:10:38,783 --> 00:10:41,732 but... well, they seem to like the American touch. 154 00:10:44,351 --> 00:10:46,703 Well.. um... proceed... 155 00:10:46,738 --> 00:10:50,076 I leaned over her as she lay on the floor... 156 00:10:50,842 --> 00:10:53,044 her green eyes half closed... 157 00:10:53,079 --> 00:10:57,730 her bruised lips curled in a slightly contemptuous smile. 158 00:10:58,912 --> 00:11:01,744 "Petal", I whispered, "I love you, I love you. " 159 00:11:04,943 --> 00:11:05,892 I love you. 160 00:11:09,053 --> 00:11:11,202 - Three "I love you"s? - That's right. 161 00:11:11,237 --> 00:11:13,430 Then 4 dots and 4 X's... 162 00:11:16,368 --> 00:11:17,939 Bother! 163 00:11:17,974 --> 00:11:20,809 Capt. Deniston Russell's secretary. 164 00:11:21,458 --> 00:11:22,831 Who wants him, please? 165 00:11:25,208 --> 00:11:26,145 Oh... just a moment... 166 00:11:27,217 --> 00:11:28,462 Your fiancée... 167 00:11:35,864 --> 00:11:37,569 Hello dear... 168 00:11:37,604 --> 00:11:40,017 Yes, yes... I said I'd phone you at 6. 169 00:11:41,308 --> 00:11:44,344 Well it's only 2 minutes past, you know. 170 00:11:46,109 --> 00:11:47,343 Sorry, dear... 171 00:11:49,059 --> 00:11:52,551 Just dictating letters... paying bills, you know... 172 00:11:53,203 --> 00:11:54,051 Yes, dear... 173 00:11:55,423 --> 00:11:56,793 Oh dear, really, dear! 174 00:11:57,826 --> 00:11:59,137 Goodbye, dear! 175 00:12:01,619 --> 00:12:03,673 Well now... where were we? 176 00:12:04,607 --> 00:12:08,767 dot-dot-dot and 4 X's 177 00:12:08,802 --> 00:12:09,582 Oh yes... 178 00:12:09,617 --> 00:12:13,672 A convulsive tremor shook her slender frame... 179 00:12:13,707 --> 00:12:15,509 and Petal moaned... 180 00:12:16,819 --> 00:12:18,421 Miss Wilcott? 181 00:12:18,456 --> 00:12:20,023 Petal moaned. 182 00:12:20,976 --> 00:12:23,898 I know it's none of my business, but I think you ought to tell her. 183 00:12:23,933 --> 00:12:25,629 Tell who... what? 184 00:12:25,664 --> 00:12:28,789 Your fiancée... about your being a writer. 185 00:12:29,489 --> 00:12:31,200 If you're getting married in a fortnight... 186 00:12:31,693 --> 00:12:33,084 But I couldn't do that... 187 00:12:33,119 --> 00:12:34,548 Oh dear... good gracious no... 188 00:12:34,583 --> 00:12:35,943 Oh, she'd never approve... 189 00:12:35,978 --> 00:12:38,841 I mean it's not as if I were a... Bernard Shaw... 190 00:12:38,876 --> 00:12:41,020 Oh, but she'd be proud of you! 191 00:12:41,055 --> 00:12:43,470 Not many people can get a book published at all... 192 00:12:43,505 --> 00:12:45,429 And look at you... scores of them! 193 00:12:45,464 --> 00:12:47,873 And under 15 different names! 194 00:12:47,908 --> 00:12:52,098 Yes, well I'm afraid Elizabeth doesn't consider this sort of thing... art. 195 00:12:52,738 --> 00:12:54,682 Well, if you ask me, I think she's a... 196 00:12:54,717 --> 00:12:56,627 But I didn't ask you, Miss Wilcott! 197 00:12:58,304 --> 00:13:00,448 Now, shall we proceed? 198 00:13:04,249 --> 00:13:06,912 A convulsive tremor shook her slender frame... 199 00:13:06,947 --> 00:13:08,897 ...and Petal moaned... 200 00:13:09,888 --> 00:13:11,114 Petal moaned... 201 00:13:11,149 --> 00:13:12,924 Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear... 202 00:13:12,959 --> 00:13:14,699 Hello, Deniston Russel here. 203 00:13:15,289 --> 00:13:16,435 What... a telegram? 204 00:13:16,470 --> 00:13:17,817 Yes, yes... I'll take it. 205 00:13:21,527 --> 00:13:22,656 Just a moment... 206 00:13:24,872 --> 00:13:25,859 Yes... 207 00:13:29,326 --> 00:13:30,343 Thank you... thank you very much. 208 00:13:35,328 --> 00:13:36,059 Well, well, well! 209 00:13:38,007 --> 00:13:39,162 Cousin Henry's dead... 210 00:13:39,197 --> 00:13:40,330 Murdered?! 211 00:13:40,365 --> 00:13:43,469 No, no, no, no... very peaceful. 212 00:13:43,504 --> 00:13:45,680 Henry... he seems to have left me a lot of money. 213 00:13:45,715 --> 00:13:47,192 What?... good! 214 00:13:47,227 --> 00:13:50,772 Good?... No... I was very fond of cousin Henry. 215 00:13:51,529 --> 00:13:52,906 He was a remarkable man. 216 00:13:52,941 --> 00:13:54,628 He was rich... he was very rich... 217 00:13:55,334 --> 00:13:58,116 Well at least this ought to put an end to my having to write this sort of stuff. 218 00:13:59,144 --> 00:14:00,908 Goodbye to "Blood Lust"! 219 00:14:01,234 --> 00:14:04,601 Goodbye to Mervyn Somesby and Jeremy St Clair! 220 00:14:05,671 --> 00:14:07,227 And Gloria Trabshaw! 221 00:14:07,262 --> 00:14:12,774 Capt. Russell!... You wouldn't give up writing just because you got a bit of money!? 222 00:14:12,809 --> 00:14:14,659 Well, it would be a crime... you couldn't! 223 00:14:14,694 --> 00:14:17,187 No, no... of course not, Miss Wilcott... but don't you see now... 224 00:14:17,222 --> 00:14:19,561 Now I can afford to write under my own name 225 00:14:19,596 --> 00:14:22,655 But good books... great books! 226 00:14:22,690 --> 00:14:25,714 Yes... books that will live. 227 00:14:29,509 --> 00:14:32,334 As you all know, our old friend Henry 228 00:14:32,369 --> 00:14:37,554 scorned the use of a solicitor in drawing up of his last will and testament... 229 00:14:38,589 --> 00:14:44,236 So he called upon me, his oldest and dearest friend, to help him. 230 00:14:45,271 --> 00:14:47,472 It was a melancholy occasion. 231 00:14:47,507 --> 00:14:50,226 - Because he knew that his... - End... 232 00:14:50,261 --> 00:14:51,365 Thank you. 233 00:14:52,620 --> 00:14:54,657 He knew that his end was near. 234 00:14:55,344 --> 00:14:58,781 With your permission, I'll omit the preliminaries... 235 00:14:58,816 --> 00:15:01,962 and merely read the essential... - points. 236 00:15:01,997 --> 00:15:03,085 Items. 237 00:15:03,120 --> 00:15:05,234 Good idea... let's hear how much we get. 238 00:15:05,847 --> 00:15:10,315 To each of you he has left the sum of £50,000. 239 00:15:14,036 --> 00:15:15,877 But before you become entitled to this money, 240 00:15:15,912 --> 00:15:19,203 there are certain tasks of a somewhat unusual nature 241 00:15:19,238 --> 00:15:21,193 which must be carried out by each of you. 242 00:15:21,228 --> 00:15:22,388 I might have known it. 243 00:15:22,423 --> 00:15:24,773 These tasks must be carried out to the letter. 244 00:15:24,808 --> 00:15:29,443 And may not be divulged, under any circumstances, to anybody outside this room. 245 00:15:29,478 --> 00:15:32,403 And each of you must take a solemn oath to that effect. 246 00:15:32,438 --> 00:15:35,525 Well, what are these ridiculous provisions? 247 00:15:35,560 --> 00:15:37,472 I will now proceed to read them. 248 00:15:38,484 --> 00:15:40,456 My sister, Agnes Russell... 249 00:15:40,491 --> 00:15:45,598 who for many years has made life a purgatory for those who she considers her inferiors... 250 00:15:45,633 --> 00:15:49,496 shall, for a period of not less than one calendar month... 251 00:15:49,531 --> 00:15:51,666 and within one week of the reading of this will... 252 00:15:51,701 --> 00:15:55,660 obtain a post as a domestic servant in a middle class home. 253 00:15:57,168 --> 00:15:58,818 How dare he! 254 00:16:01,488 --> 00:16:05,552 Should she for any reason whatsoever be dismissed, or resign from this post... 255 00:16:05,587 --> 00:16:07,042 before the end of this month 256 00:16:07,077 --> 00:16:09,688 she shall forfeit her share in my fortune. 257 00:16:12,428 --> 00:16:13,640 I shall contest the will! 258 00:16:13,675 --> 00:16:16,808 I forgot to add, that if any one of you contests the will... 259 00:16:16,843 --> 00:16:19,647 the whole fortune for all of you will be forfeited. 260 00:16:19,682 --> 00:16:22,416 In that case, cousin Agnes will not contest the will. 261 00:16:22,451 --> 00:16:27,636 My second cousin, Capt. Deniston Russel Royal Army Pay Corps, Retired... 262 00:16:27,671 --> 00:16:30,364 whose hideous secret I must now reveal to you... 263 00:16:30,399 --> 00:16:34,749 has become a writer of penny-dreadfuls in the worst possible taste and style. 264 00:16:36,020 --> 00:16:37,291 How on earth did he find out? 265 00:16:37,326 --> 00:16:39,315 You... a writer?! 266 00:16:39,350 --> 00:16:41,638 And in the worst possible taste, too! 267 00:16:42,742 --> 00:16:43,729 Are they a bit...? 268 00:16:44,658 --> 00:16:45,674 Certainly not! 269 00:16:45,709 --> 00:16:49,592 The gallant captain shall spend not less and not more than 28 days... 270 00:16:49,627 --> 00:16:51,936 in one of His Majesty's London prisons... 271 00:16:52,881 --> 00:16:55,539 having been properly sentenced for a genuine crime... 272 00:16:55,574 --> 00:16:59,215 committed by himself within one week of the reading of this will. 273 00:17:00,350 --> 00:17:04,508 Should he fail in this endeavour, he shall forfeit his share of my fortune. 274 00:17:05,833 --> 00:17:06,910 Crime!? 275 00:17:08,038 --> 00:17:09,221 Prison? 276 00:17:09,256 --> 00:17:12,064 Oh, but I'm to be married in a fortnight. 277 00:17:12,801 --> 00:17:14,395 And to the daughter of a magistrate. 278 00:17:14,430 --> 00:17:15,990 Now, perhaps you'll marry her in prison! 279 00:17:18,708 --> 00:17:21,609 My fourth cousin twice removed, Herbert Russell, 280 00:17:21,644 --> 00:17:26,543 who has surely failed in the banking world owing to his determination to be bullied... 281 00:17:26,578 --> 00:17:29,643 shall with the aid of a mask and a toy pistol... 282 00:17:29,678 --> 00:17:33,123 hold up his current bank manager in his own office... 283 00:17:33,158 --> 00:17:36,620 in the manner of one of his cousin Deniston's fictional gangsters. 284 00:17:37,364 --> 00:17:39,851 And will force him to hand over the keys of the bank 285 00:17:39,886 --> 00:17:44,259 Should he fail, or be unmasked or overpowered before 2 minutes are up... 286 00:17:44,294 --> 00:17:47,044 his share of the fortune will be forfeited. 287 00:17:47,079 --> 00:17:49,575 But... how could I? 288 00:17:50,543 --> 00:17:52,238 How could he...? 289 00:17:54,143 --> 00:17:55,400 It's impossible. 290 00:17:55,435 --> 00:17:58,871 Not even a real gangster would dare to point a gun at Mr Wagstaffe. 291 00:17:58,906 --> 00:18:01,665 Or point anything at Mr Wagstaffe. 292 00:18:02,936 --> 00:18:04,857 My first cousin, Simon Russell... 293 00:18:05,613 --> 00:18:08,701 who has gone through life at the expense of others' hearts and pockets... 294 00:18:08,736 --> 00:18:13,548 shall marry the first unmarried woman to whom he speaks after the reading of this will... 295 00:18:13,583 --> 00:18:15,430 of no matter what age. 296 00:18:18,241 --> 00:18:21,912 Should his well-known charm fail to persuade the lady to marry him... 297 00:18:21,947 --> 00:18:24,541 his share of my fortune shall be forfeited. 298 00:18:26,116 --> 00:18:26,859 Easy! 299 00:18:27,383 --> 00:18:29,156 I always knew he liked me best! 300 00:18:30,032 --> 00:18:30,861 Thanks, cousin Henry! 301 00:18:30,896 --> 00:18:34,090 Listen... we'll all plan together and contest the will. 302 00:18:36,561 --> 00:18:39,969 You can tell cousin Agnes that she's the last woman I shall speak to first. 303 00:18:40,004 --> 00:18:41,784 What's he grumbling about anyway? 304 00:18:41,819 --> 00:18:44,980 Nobody in their right mind would sack a servant, with the present shortage. 305 00:18:45,015 --> 00:18:48,002 After all, 50,000 quid is 50,000 quid! 306 00:18:48,452 --> 00:18:51,262 Before we come to the taking of the solemn oath... 307 00:18:51,297 --> 00:18:54,073 there is one small formality to be carried out. 308 00:18:54,108 --> 00:18:57,386 We must all rise... rise! 309 00:18:59,532 --> 00:19:00,767 ALL rise! 310 00:19:00,788 --> 00:19:02,190 Come along... upsadaisy! 311 00:19:02,445 --> 00:19:03,366 This way... 312 00:19:07,395 --> 00:19:10,562 And drink a toast to our beloved benefactor. 313 00:19:10,597 --> 00:19:15,659 By singing a verse of that popular melody "For He's a Jolly Good... " 314 00:19:16,428 --> 00:19:18,069 - "Fella"? - Exactly. 315 00:19:19,265 --> 00:19:20,744 Here's to our benefactor... 316 00:19:22,055 --> 00:19:23,343 Raise your glasses! 317 00:19:24,265 --> 00:19:25,574 Raise your glasses! 318 00:19:26,891 --> 00:19:28,072 And sing with me 319 00:19:29,550 --> 00:19:36,549 For he's a jolly good fellow 320 00:19:39,584 --> 00:19:45,306 And so say all of us 321 00:19:47,341 --> 00:19:53,304 For he's a jolly good fellow 322 00:19:56,108 --> 00:19:57,980 And so say all of us. 323 00:19:58,015 --> 00:20:01,072 Now drink to our dear departed. 324 00:20:06,408 --> 00:20:09,768 Ask cousin Agnes if I can give her a lift to the nearest employment exchange. 325 00:20:09,803 --> 00:20:10,881 No? 326 00:20:13,265 --> 00:20:13,989 How about you, Herbert 327 00:20:13,990 --> 00:20:15,516 Can I drop you at the gunsmith? 328 00:20:16,212 --> 00:20:17,120 What for? 329 00:20:17,155 --> 00:20:19,367 You can't hold up a bank with a fountain pen. 330 00:20:19,402 --> 00:20:21,580 I know... I'm going to get that at a toy shop. 331 00:20:22,025 --> 00:20:23,932 That's the least of my worries. 332 00:20:24,257 --> 00:20:27,032 It's where I'm going to find the courage that's puzzling me. 333 00:20:27,067 --> 00:20:30,505 Look, Herbert... there's a little work of mine called "The Bank Bandit"... 334 00:20:30,979 --> 00:20:32,651 It might give you a few pointers... 335 00:20:32,686 --> 00:20:34,433 I'll be glad to put in the post for you. 336 00:20:34,468 --> 00:20:35,828 Oh, thank you! 337 00:20:35,863 --> 00:20:36,984 Well, hop in both of you! 338 00:20:37,019 --> 00:20:39,128 No... I think I'll get my bus at the corner. 339 00:20:39,163 --> 00:20:41,911 Goodbye. 340 00:20:41,946 --> 00:20:44,201 Come on, Den old boy... I'll buy you a snifter. 341 00:20:45,711 --> 00:20:49,081 How on earth do you afford a vehicle like this? 342 00:20:49,116 --> 00:20:51,066 I don't. old boy... got it on appro. 343 00:20:51,101 --> 00:20:53,842 You keep it a week, then send it back... say you don't want it. 344 00:20:54,144 --> 00:20:55,640 Give you the address, if you want to try. 345 00:20:59,924 --> 00:21:01,502 Two more large whiskies, please George. 346 00:21:03,285 --> 00:21:05,901 Cheer up old boy... It's only a matter of time! 347 00:21:08,652 --> 00:21:10,848 Everything seemed so rosy this morning. 348 00:21:11,582 --> 00:21:14,196 The hope of money to come... marriage in a fortnight. 349 00:21:14,231 --> 00:21:16,704 And now, instead of a honeymoon in Harrogate... 350 00:21:16,739 --> 00:21:18,691 Prison in Pentonville. 351 00:21:19,854 --> 00:21:21,998 I fear I shall lose my Elizabeth. 352 00:21:22,033 --> 00:21:24,842 Nonsense!... She'll stand by you if she's a good scout. 353 00:21:26,739 --> 00:21:29,078 Elizabeth is an officer and a lady. 354 00:21:29,549 --> 00:21:31,532 Well just tell her it's worth 50,000 smackers 355 00:21:31,567 --> 00:21:33,398 and I'm sure she'll be delighted with the whole affair. 356 00:21:34,142 --> 00:21:37,377 I would remind you Russell that we have both taken a most solemn oath 357 00:21:37,412 --> 00:21:39,789 not to divulge the contents of the will. 358 00:21:40,516 --> 00:21:41,683 Yes, so we have. 359 00:21:41,718 --> 00:21:45,407 Look here... if she does kip with a bird... what about palming her off on me? 360 00:21:46,830 --> 00:21:47,978 Certainly not. 361 00:21:49,124 --> 00:21:50,474 What a disgusting suggestion! 362 00:21:51,206 --> 00:21:52,471 To marry, I mean. 363 00:21:55,494 --> 00:21:56,753 Here's your next order. 364 00:21:58,446 --> 00:22:00,577 Remarkable thing... I've come out without my wallet. 365 00:22:00,612 --> 00:22:01,952 Lend me a fiver, old boy. 366 00:22:05,315 --> 00:22:06,400 Thanks. 367 00:22:06,435 --> 00:22:08,914 Better make it a tenner... easier to remember. 368 00:22:10,072 --> 00:22:11,510 What on earth's that? 369 00:22:13,036 --> 00:22:14,611 That is Elizabeth. 370 00:22:14,770 --> 00:22:15,998 You're dead right old boy... 371 00:22:16,664 --> 00:22:17,988 Not my cup of tea at all! 372 00:22:18,547 --> 00:22:19,737 I should hope not. 373 00:22:19,863 --> 00:22:21,331 Look, I must telephone her now... 374 00:22:21,696 --> 00:22:22,778 Box is over there. 375 00:22:22,813 --> 00:22:23,860 Oh, thank you. 376 00:22:24,323 --> 00:22:25,469 With all this on my mind... 377 00:22:25,872 --> 00:22:27,630 I just cannot face her tonight. 378 00:22:29,118 --> 00:22:30,694 Couldn't face her any night. 379 00:22:32,365 --> 00:22:33,861 Hello! 380 00:22:34,768 --> 00:22:36,322 You want some ciggies? 381 00:22:36,357 --> 00:22:39,119 No sweetie, I'm afraid you? from now on. 382 00:22:39,413 --> 00:22:41,120 What about a date later on this evening? 383 00:22:41,155 --> 00:22:42,126 I feel like celebrating. 384 00:22:42,161 --> 00:22:46,937 Look... I don't want that old goat in the telephone box to see us talking. 385 00:22:46,972 --> 00:22:47,813 Why? 386 00:22:47,848 --> 00:22:48,824 Well, don't think me mad... 387 00:22:48,859 --> 00:22:51,281 But just for the moment, I'm not allowed to talk to women. 388 00:22:52,106 --> 00:22:53,818 Don't I count as a woman? 389 00:22:53,853 --> 00:22:57,289 You see dear, something has occurred. 390 00:22:57,324 --> 00:22:59,010 But... you promised to take me out tonight... 391 00:22:59,045 --> 00:23:01,086 ...and I've had a bath... specially! 392 00:23:02,138 --> 00:23:05,382 I've got some splendid news for you about my wedding leave. 393 00:23:05,417 --> 00:23:07,865 Commandant Borthwaite's given me 28 days! 394 00:23:08,662 --> 00:23:09,765 28! 395 00:23:09,800 --> 00:23:11,167 28 days?! 396 00:23:13,633 --> 00:23:15,465 Oh dear... I know... 397 00:23:16,707 --> 00:23:18,943 Yes dear, of course... of course... It could be splendid. 398 00:23:18,978 --> 00:23:19,784 But you see... 399 00:23:19,819 --> 00:23:22,710 Well she said you only get life once... 400 00:23:22,745 --> 00:23:24,250 Might as well enjoy it! 401 00:23:29,391 --> 00:23:33,214 Denny... the? after 10 years? You're not serious! 402 00:23:33,997 --> 00:23:35,075 You don't mean it! 403 00:23:37,075 --> 00:23:39,234 What am I to say to Commandant Borthwaite and the girls? 404 00:23:39,269 --> 00:23:41,976 They've bought us a toast-rack, and everything. 405 00:23:43,574 --> 00:23:45,887 You're breaking my heart, that's all. 406 00:23:46,588 --> 00:23:47,849 No, you can't explain! 407 00:23:48,775 --> 00:23:51,108 Alright then... tomorrow morning at 11. 408 00:23:51,143 --> 00:23:52,599 On the dot! 409 00:23:55,300 --> 00:23:58,842 Daddykins... daddy... 410 00:23:59,514 --> 00:24:00,891 Daddy... did you hear that? 411 00:24:00,926 --> 00:24:02,802 Did you hear it? 412 00:24:02,837 --> 00:24:04,850 I told you so... shifty customer. 413 00:24:04,885 --> 00:24:06,613 Always said so... always will. 414 00:24:06,648 --> 00:24:08,306 Never liked him, never shall... 415 00:24:08,341 --> 00:24:10,768 Sort of fellow who'll end up in the hands of the police. 416 00:24:13,026 --> 00:24:14,347 Scott dropped the ball... 417 00:24:14,382 --> 00:24:15,669 He tricks to outside left... 418 00:24:15,704 --> 00:24:17,103 Lobs to Menster... 419 00:24:17,138 --> 00:24:18,326 who pleas to the captain... 420 00:24:18,361 --> 00:24:19,515 The captain checks his guard... 421 00:24:19,550 --> 00:24:20,741 ...passes it to Loguie... 422 00:24:20,776 --> 00:24:21,505 Loguie to Louis... 423 00:24:21,506 --> 00:24:22,484 Louis takes to the outside... 424 00:24:22,519 --> 00:24:23,300 Roper? 425 00:24:23,335 --> 00:24:24,105 Roper... Roper... 426 00:24:24,140 --> 00:24:25,988 He flies in and he slams... 427 00:24:28,632 --> 00:24:29,414 Good evening... 428 00:24:30,150 --> 00:24:33,837 I think I am most anxious to go to prison for 28 days. 429 00:24:33,872 --> 00:24:35,914 And I wondered if you had any suggestions. 430 00:24:37,057 --> 00:24:40,893 Well... have you committed any crime? 431 00:24:40,928 --> 00:24:42,332 Felony? Or breach of the peace? 432 00:24:42,367 --> 00:24:46,504 No, not yet... though within reason, I am prepared to. 433 00:24:47,613 --> 00:24:49,610 Then get out of here... can't you see we're very busy? 434 00:24:49,645 --> 00:24:51,607 Go on Eddie... Roper had the ball... What happened? 435 00:24:51,642 --> 00:24:53,516 Wait, I don't think you quite understand. 436 00:24:53,551 --> 00:24:57,557 For reasons which I cannot divulge, I must go to prison. 437 00:24:57,592 --> 00:24:59,004 And I've come for your advice. 438 00:24:59,039 --> 00:25:00,382 You've 'ad it, now 'op it! 439 00:25:00,417 --> 00:25:03,082 Look here my man, I'm asking a perfectly civil question. 440 00:25:03,117 --> 00:25:04,739 And you got a civil answer. Now 'op it! 441 00:25:04,774 --> 00:25:06,089 I'm a taxpayer... 442 00:25:06,124 --> 00:25:08,639 And what is more, I'm a personal friend of the commissioner. 443 00:25:08,674 --> 00:25:09,824 Then I should go and see him... 444 00:25:09,859 --> 00:25:12,742 You'll find he's far less busy than WE are. 445 00:25:14,297 --> 00:25:15,396 Good evening Benson... 446 00:25:15,431 --> 00:25:17,635 Your lord and master is now a man of substance. 447 00:25:17,670 --> 00:25:20,999 Congratulations, sir... How much? 448 00:25:21,034 --> 00:25:23,814 50,000 smackers Benson... 50,000 iron men. 449 00:25:23,849 --> 00:25:25,294 Splendid sir, splendid... 450 00:25:25,329 --> 00:25:29,136 In that case we might have little chat about my arrears of salary? 451 00:25:30,677 --> 00:25:34,805 Quite, but I shall have to borrow a few more quid, just to see me through the testing period. 452 00:25:35,843 --> 00:25:37,774 In that case we haven't been left anything at all... 453 00:25:37,809 --> 00:25:38,593 Is that it, sir? 454 00:25:38,628 --> 00:25:40,710 No it isn't Benson... now sit down and listen to me. 455 00:25:40,745 --> 00:25:43,827 I shouldn't be telling you this... as I made a solemn oath not to do so. 456 00:25:43,862 --> 00:25:44,777 I'll rely on your discretion... 457 00:25:44,812 --> 00:25:47,617 Or honour among thieves, scouts' honour, and all that. 458 00:25:47,652 --> 00:25:48,910 Well, carry on, sir. 459 00:25:48,945 --> 00:25:50,168 Well, it's like this... 460 00:25:51,230 --> 00:25:55,223 I forfeit the whole darned lot, if I don't marry the first unmarried girl I speak to. 461 00:25:56,468 --> 00:25:58,017 Of course I shan't take any notice of that. 462 00:25:58,052 --> 00:25:59,251 Oh, naturally not, sir! 463 00:25:59,286 --> 00:26:00,527 Oh, but I must do it carefully, Benson... 464 00:26:00,562 --> 00:26:03,621 In fact I'm just as keen to find someone with a tidy bank balance of her own. 465 00:26:03,656 --> 00:26:06,680 After all, I don't want to get landed with a gold-digger, now that I'm rich. 466 00:26:08,203 --> 00:26:09,490 You listening, Benson? 467 00:26:10,187 --> 00:26:11,818 Oh, yes sir... I see your point... 468 00:26:12,529 --> 00:26:15,383 Since hearing your... bad news... 469 00:26:15,418 --> 00:26:18,661 Several young ladies have telephoned their heartfelt sympathy. 470 00:26:19,084 --> 00:26:21,755 That's what I mean... you see they're closing in already! 471 00:26:22,017 --> 00:26:25,471 Shocking bad taste... with the old boy hardly cold. 472 00:26:25,506 --> 00:26:26,868 Oh, quite sir, quite. 473 00:26:26,903 --> 00:26:30,182 Well, if I might be allowed to offer some advice... 474 00:26:30,217 --> 00:26:33,461 Why not leave town and spend a few days on the boat. 475 00:26:33,900 --> 00:26:35,591 Good idea, Benson... I'll go tomorrow. 476 00:26:35,626 --> 00:26:36,600 I'll take MY car. 477 00:26:36,635 --> 00:26:39,061 Oh, better send the other one back to Sports Cars Ltd. 478 00:26:39,610 --> 00:26:41,847 Give them the usual spiel... I wasn't satisfied. 479 00:26:41,882 --> 00:26:44,633 Then bolt the front door, disconnect the telephone... 480 00:26:46,239 --> 00:26:47,847 This is worse than the bailiffs, Benson! 481 00:26:47,882 --> 00:26:49,090 How right you are sir... 482 00:26:49,125 --> 00:26:51,371 But don't worry... I'll look after you. 483 00:28:01,522 --> 00:28:02,497 Don't forget tonight! 484 00:28:02,532 --> 00:28:05,086 6.30 sharp... best bib and tucker. 485 00:28:05,121 --> 00:28:06,004 Alright. 486 00:28:10,866 --> 00:28:12,182 Oh, Miss Heath... 487 00:28:14,775 --> 00:28:16,290 It's such a lovely day today... 488 00:28:16,325 --> 00:28:18,948 I wondered whether you'd like to come to the pictures with me tonight. 489 00:28:19,583 --> 00:28:20,047 Oh... I... 490 00:28:20,048 --> 00:28:22,331 There's a particular picture that I want to see... 491 00:28:22,366 --> 00:28:24,952 It's all about a holdup man. 492 00:28:24,987 --> 00:28:27,504 I'd love to, Mr Russell... 493 00:28:27,539 --> 00:28:30,369 But unfortunately Mr Stewart has asked me to go out with HIM tonight. 494 00:28:30,404 --> 00:28:32,402 Mr Wagstaffe's mail, Mr Russell. 495 00:28:35,382 --> 00:28:36,163 Thank you Mr Stewart. 496 00:28:37,768 --> 00:28:39,352 "Unfortunately" did you say? 497 00:28:40,075 --> 00:28:42,111 Of course, if you'd rather go out with 'Handsome Herbert'... 498 00:28:42,145 --> 00:28:44,593 Why are you always so nasty about him? 499 00:28:44,628 --> 00:28:45,421 Little twerp! 500 00:28:54,274 --> 00:28:56,205 Reach!... Reach for the sky! 501 00:28:59,880 --> 00:29:00,872 Come on... stick 'em up! 502 00:29:00,907 --> 00:29:02,045 No mucking about! 503 00:29:02,758 --> 00:29:05,010 Come on! I said no mucking about. 504 00:29:12,592 --> 00:29:13,303 Reach!... 505 00:29:13,338 --> 00:29:15,183 ...brother... for the sky. 506 00:29:16,931 --> 00:29:18,161 Come on... stick 'em up! 507 00:29:18,196 --> 00:29:19,392 I haven't any time to waste. 508 00:29:19,427 --> 00:29:21,562 Apparently you HAVE. 509 00:29:25,866 --> 00:29:29,088 One of the signs of softening of the brain is talking to oneself. 510 00:29:29,666 --> 00:29:31,607 Watch it, Mr Russell, watch it! 511 00:29:31,642 --> 00:29:33,587 Get back to your work! 512 00:29:33,622 --> 00:29:34,572 Yessir. 513 00:29:34,607 --> 00:29:35,571 Softening of the head. 514 00:29:37,870 --> 00:29:38,710 You said something, sir? 515 00:29:38,745 --> 00:29:40,492 No... I was talking to myself. 516 00:29:42,797 --> 00:29:43,749 Get out! 517 00:29:46,037 --> 00:29:47,230 Get out! 518 00:29:50,908 --> 00:29:54,804 In your advertisement about a domestic, you mentioned references. 519 00:29:54,839 --> 00:29:56,602 I haven't done this sort of work before 520 00:29:57,156 --> 00:29:58,386 Oh, don't worry about that... 521 00:29:58,421 --> 00:30:00,925 I'm sorry, I've forgotten your name again. 522 00:30:00,960 --> 00:30:02,112 Agnes Russell. 523 00:30:02,147 --> 00:30:03,234 I'll be frank with you Agnes... 524 00:30:03,912 --> 00:30:05,836 We've had quite a number of servants here. 525 00:30:05,871 --> 00:30:08,014 Some with excellent references, but... 526 00:30:08,178 --> 00:30:09,868 None of them have lasted. 527 00:30:09,903 --> 00:30:11,692 But I'm sure you'll do us very well. 528 00:30:14,456 --> 00:30:17,206 That'll be my father... I expect he wants to see you. 529 00:30:17,356 --> 00:30:18,777 Shall we go up? 530 00:30:22,093 --> 00:30:23,647 Aren't men impatient! 531 00:30:23,682 --> 00:30:25,667 My father is a semi invalid, and this is... 532 00:30:25,702 --> 00:30:27,270 Father's not really very ill. 533 00:30:34,515 --> 00:30:35,887 Father, this is our new helper. 534 00:30:35,922 --> 00:30:36,944 An older instance. 535 00:30:36,979 --> 00:30:38,393 What's your name? 536 00:30:38,428 --> 00:30:39,773 Agnes Russell. 537 00:30:39,808 --> 00:30:41,100 Need be perfect from now on, my girl... 538 00:30:41,135 --> 00:30:43,311 All the others worked badly, and a rotten lot they were! 539 00:30:43,346 --> 00:30:45,727 I'm sure Agnes will work very well, father. 540 00:30:45,762 --> 00:30:46,629 We'll see. 541 00:30:46,790 --> 00:30:47,899 Can you cook better? 542 00:30:48,849 --> 00:30:49,897 Yes... 543 00:30:49,932 --> 00:30:51,084 You can cook my supper tonight. 544 00:30:51,119 --> 00:30:52,474 There's a steak in the larder... 545 00:30:52,509 --> 00:30:53,829 You don't make a mess of it now! 546 00:30:54,849 --> 00:30:56,476 You're a sour face! 547 00:30:56,511 --> 00:30:58,395 I like happy people about me! 548 00:30:58,751 --> 00:30:59,784 Smile! 549 00:31:02,728 --> 00:31:04,579 Go on!... Smile! 550 00:31:07,499 --> 00:31:08,668 That's better! 551 00:31:12,912 --> 00:31:15,313 He likes you... He likes you very much. 552 00:31:16,156 --> 00:31:17,083 He does! 553 00:31:25,703 --> 00:31:27,296 I'm as happy as a lark... 554 00:31:27,331 --> 00:31:30,158 A lark, a lark... 555 00:31:30,193 --> 00:31:33,017 I'm as happy as a dog! 556 00:31:33,052 --> 00:31:35,841 Bumbum... bumbum... 557 00:31:57,347 --> 00:31:58,551 Hello there! 558 00:31:58,586 --> 00:32:01,585 I say, are you in difficulty? 559 00:32:01,620 --> 00:32:03,285 Don't bother, thanks... I can manage. 560 00:32:05,271 --> 00:32:06,118 No bother at all! 561 00:32:06,705 --> 00:32:07,525 So, what's the trouble? 562 00:32:07,687 --> 00:32:10,466 I don't quite know... It just stopped. 563 00:32:10,738 --> 00:32:11,556 Got any petrol? 564 00:32:11,591 --> 00:32:13,542 Oh, yes... My chauffeur filled it up this morning. 565 00:32:13,577 --> 00:32:15,649 Just stubborn, eh? Got far to go? 566 00:32:15,684 --> 00:32:18,352 Eton. My brother's at school there and I promised to take him out... 567 00:32:18,387 --> 00:32:19,827 It's maddening. 568 00:32:19,862 --> 00:32:21,506 - Leave it to me. - Thank you. 569 00:32:24,824 --> 00:32:26,266 Do you know anything about cars? 570 00:32:26,301 --> 00:32:28,009 - Not a thing. - Fine! 571 00:32:29,478 --> 00:32:35,158 Well... if you ask me, the 'circumventor' on the 'ubiquitous praxile'... 572 00:32:36,193 --> 00:32:36,748 What? 573 00:32:36,749 --> 00:32:38,230 The 'sheerstall' has blown. 574 00:32:38,914 --> 00:32:40,256 You can tell just by looking at it? 575 00:32:40,291 --> 00:32:41,563 Oh, one gets the knack you know... 576 00:32:41,598 --> 00:32:45,500 Like doctors lifting your eyelid and knowing your great grandmother was a dipsomaniac. 577 00:32:47,575 --> 00:32:49,130 Can I give you a lift somewhere? 578 00:32:49,165 --> 00:32:50,686 If you would... to the telephone. 579 00:32:51,634 --> 00:32:53,396 It's a pleasure... come along. 580 00:32:57,678 --> 00:33:00,429 I'll ring my chauffeur to come and collect the beastly thing. 581 00:33:01,383 --> 00:33:05,729 What do you know about... 'praxile'... thingumajigs? 582 00:33:05,764 --> 00:33:08,595 I doubt it... very few people do. 583 00:33:09,735 --> 00:33:11,217 I hate that car, anyway. 584 00:33:11,843 --> 00:33:13,333 I much prefer my big one. 585 00:33:13,868 --> 00:33:14,683 Your big one? 586 00:33:16,193 --> 00:33:18,169 Oh, you'll have to forgive old "Griselda". 587 00:33:18,204 --> 00:33:19,644 Both mine are in dock. 588 00:33:19,679 --> 00:33:21,421 This thing belongs to my butler. 589 00:33:21,996 --> 00:33:25,036 I think she's sweet... and I'm very grateful to both of you. 590 00:33:36,847 --> 00:33:37,978 What did you say your name was? 591 00:33:39,834 --> 00:33:41,857 I didn't. It's Lucille Grayson. 592 00:33:41,892 --> 00:33:43,846 How do you do?... Simon Russell. 593 00:33:43,881 --> 00:33:46,637 I'm going to make a very impertinent suggestion... 594 00:33:46,672 --> 00:33:49,014 Instead of you singing the "Eton Boating Song" with your brother... 595 00:33:49,049 --> 00:33:51,670 Why not come boating with me? 596 00:33:51,705 --> 00:33:54,315 My cruiser's just along the road... on the water of course. 597 00:33:54,350 --> 00:33:56,379 No thank you... I couldn't possibly. 598 00:33:56,414 --> 00:33:59,760 My uncle would raise Cain if he heard I'd been out with strange men. 599 00:33:59,795 --> 00:34:02,615 Well, there's only one of me and I'm not all that strange. 600 00:34:02,650 --> 00:34:05,312 In fact I behave pretty normally on the whole. 601 00:34:05,347 --> 00:34:08,937 It's very tempting, Mr Russell... but I must say no. 602 00:34:09,982 --> 00:34:11,575 - No? - Yes. 603 00:34:20,728 --> 00:34:23,087 Do you really know anything about cars? 604 00:34:23,915 --> 00:34:24,636 No. 605 00:34:24,637 --> 00:34:25,738 Nothing at all? 606 00:34:25,773 --> 00:34:26,839 Nothing at all. 607 00:34:27,794 --> 00:34:28,869 How clever of you. 608 00:34:30,875 --> 00:34:32,043 Do you like my little boat? 609 00:34:32,339 --> 00:34:33,215 Mmm... very much. 610 00:34:33,567 --> 00:34:34,431 Small, of course. 611 00:34:34,466 --> 00:34:36,703 Getting another one soon, with a big funnel. 612 00:34:36,738 --> 00:34:37,919 Comfy? 613 00:34:39,662 --> 00:34:41,706 Lucky you had 2 of these mattress things. 614 00:34:41,741 --> 00:34:44,003 Yes, I was here last weekend with a business pal. 615 00:34:44,437 --> 00:34:46,125 He left his lipstick behind. 616 00:34:48,252 --> 00:34:49,267 Odd! 617 00:34:50,155 --> 00:34:51,342 I wonder how that got here. 618 00:34:52,646 --> 00:34:54,396 I'm beginning to wonder how I did! 619 00:34:56,385 --> 00:34:57,310 Not regretting it, are you? 620 00:34:57,345 --> 00:34:59,623 Not yet... but I shall! 621 00:35:00,597 --> 00:35:02,290 My uncle wouldn't approve of this at all. 622 00:35:03,047 --> 00:35:04,456 Like all very rich men... 623 00:35:04,491 --> 00:35:06,230 He wants to run everybody else's life. 624 00:35:06,580 --> 00:35:07,998 You poor sweet... I know the form... 625 00:35:08,033 --> 00:35:10,737 You can't tell him to go to blazes or he'll cut you off with a shilling. 626 00:35:10,772 --> 00:35:13,686 No... he can't do that... the money's in trust for me. 627 00:35:15,329 --> 00:35:16,143 That's good... 628 00:35:17,807 --> 00:35:19,547 That's very good! 629 00:35:23,964 --> 00:35:25,021 No! 630 00:35:25,734 --> 00:35:26,533 No! 631 00:35:26,912 --> 00:35:27,337 No! 632 00:35:27,338 --> 00:35:29,858 Deniston... I will not postpone our wedding without a reason. 633 00:35:29,893 --> 00:35:31,379 No, you can't fob me off like that. 634 00:35:31,414 --> 00:35:34,226 Fluffy... I wouldn't dream of fobbing you. 635 00:35:34,261 --> 00:35:35,151 Nonsense!... 636 00:35:36,017 --> 00:35:38,551 This is the clearest case of fobbing that's ever come my way. 637 00:35:38,586 --> 00:35:41,300 You've been dilly-dallying with my daughter for 10 years. 638 00:35:41,335 --> 00:35:44,014 Only because of my financial situation, Sir Charles. 639 00:35:44,049 --> 00:35:45,375 What's happened to it now? 640 00:35:45,410 --> 00:35:48,180 Nothing, nothing... I only asked for a slight postponement. 641 00:35:48,215 --> 00:35:49,178 28 days. 642 00:35:49,213 --> 00:35:50,142 Why? 643 00:35:51,536 --> 00:35:53,418 I know you'll understand when I tell you 644 00:35:53,453 --> 00:35:56,902 that I've given my solemn oath not to divulge the reason. 645 00:35:56,937 --> 00:35:59,934 But when we got engaged, 10 years ago... 646 00:36:01,282 --> 00:36:04,320 You solemnly swore we wouldn't have any secrets from each other. 647 00:36:05,031 --> 00:36:06,698 Except, of course, official ones. 648 00:36:07,944 --> 00:36:11,090 Oh... but this IS official!... 649 00:36:11,814 --> 00:36:12,529 In a way. 650 00:36:12,530 --> 00:36:17,813 You see, Fluffy... in strict confidence... I have to go away for a month. 651 00:36:18,277 --> 00:36:19,267 Officially? 652 00:36:19,302 --> 00:36:20,257 Officially. 653 00:36:21,012 --> 00:36:22,087 Got a government? 654 00:36:22,122 --> 00:36:26,136 Well, the government will be paying my expenses. 655 00:36:26,465 --> 00:36:27,541 What's that? 656 00:36:29,057 --> 00:36:30,136 Just a minute. 657 00:36:30,171 --> 00:36:33,041 I thought the Pay Corps kicked you out 5 years ago. 658 00:36:33,076 --> 00:36:37,656 I shall not be in uniform, Sir Charles... at least I don't think so. 659 00:36:39,236 --> 00:36:41,556 Will you excuse me... I really have to go to catch my train... 660 00:36:41,591 --> 00:36:44,117 Denny... you're not going behind the Iron Curtain? 661 00:36:45,739 --> 00:36:47,985 I suppose you could put it like that. 662 00:36:48,020 --> 00:36:50,196 Daddykins, he's in the Secret Service... 663 00:36:50,231 --> 00:36:52,078 And all the time we thought he was doing nothing! 664 00:36:52,729 --> 00:36:55,468 Oh, Denny... my brave Denny-boy! 665 00:36:55,503 --> 00:36:59,323 Fluffy, dear... look I promise as soon as ever I am free... 666 00:36:59,358 --> 00:37:02,018 ...free to talk... I'll explain everything. 667 00:37:02,053 --> 00:37:03,919 No need to explain, when duty calls! 668 00:37:03,954 --> 00:37:04,657 Quite right... 669 00:37:04,658 --> 00:37:07,237 Now don't go and land yourself in one of those filthy jails! 670 00:37:07,272 --> 00:37:08,730 No, but I... 671 00:37:10,108 --> 00:37:12,862 Will you excuse me, sir Charles?... I must catch my train. 672 00:37:13,236 --> 00:37:16,270 Well, good luck... I'm sorry I was a bit shirty with you. 673 00:37:25,647 --> 00:37:27,221 I know you won't be able to write... 674 00:37:27,256 --> 00:37:28,760 But I shall be watching the newspapers 675 00:37:28,795 --> 00:37:31,718 and hoping so much there won't be any news of you. 676 00:37:32,258 --> 00:37:33,776 Oh, the newspapers!... 677 00:37:33,811 --> 00:37:36,626 Oh, yes... hope that... please hope that! 678 00:37:38,674 --> 00:37:40,612 Kings Cross station, please. 679 00:37:40,647 --> 00:37:43,454 Good luck!... and if they catch you, none of those confessions, mind! 680 00:37:43,862 --> 00:37:44,933 Goodbye, dear boy. 681 00:37:50,051 --> 00:37:52,612 Not the railway station... the police station. 682 00:38:01,951 --> 00:38:05,359 Good morning, inspector, do you remember me? 683 00:38:05,394 --> 00:38:08,202 Yes, I do remember you... go on get outta here. 684 00:38:08,237 --> 00:38:10,976 Please, please listen... you see, I am a writer... 685 00:38:11,011 --> 00:38:14,353 And it is necessary for one of my characters to go to prison for a month. 686 00:38:14,388 --> 00:38:17,696 I only thought you could tell me a few crimes that could fit the bill. 687 00:38:18,620 --> 00:38:22,389 Look... here's a little opus of mine, if you'd care to... 688 00:38:23,251 --> 00:38:24,427 It's about football. 689 00:38:24,462 --> 00:38:25,568 About football, eh? 690 00:38:25,603 --> 00:38:29,228 The whole of the Cup Final team get poisoned on the eve of the match. 691 00:38:30,883 --> 00:38:32,163 "Death and the FA Cup" 692 00:38:33,265 --> 00:38:35,487 No, no, please... keep it... if you'd care to. 693 00:38:35,522 --> 00:38:36,524 For me? 694 00:38:37,247 --> 00:38:39,031 Well, that's very kind of you sir... thank you! 695 00:38:39,066 --> 00:38:42,721 Well, I'm always ready to support the arts, as it were! 696 00:38:43,512 --> 00:38:45,577 I dare say Archibald ought to be able to help us. 697 00:38:45,612 --> 00:38:47,256 Who is Archibald? 698 00:38:47,291 --> 00:38:49,554 The encyclopedia of crime. 699 00:38:49,792 --> 00:38:51,767 Look, I want it to be a very respectable crime. 700 00:38:52,554 --> 00:38:54,699 Nothing nasty. 701 00:38:55,156 --> 00:38:57,239 You see, he's a very upright and honourable man... 702 00:38:57,274 --> 00:39:01,840 I can't possibly have his reputation soiled in any way. 703 00:39:02,952 --> 00:39:04,050 He has to get the heroine. 704 00:39:04,085 --> 00:39:05,277 'appy endin', eh? 705 00:39:05,312 --> 00:39:06,614 That's the stuff to give 'em. 706 00:39:06,649 --> 00:39:07,916 I'm so glad you understand. 707 00:39:07,978 --> 00:39:10,514 Now, let's see, there's trains. 708 00:39:10,549 --> 00:39:12,975 There's lot of things happen in trains, you know... 709 00:39:13,010 --> 00:39:14,387 You'd be surprised. 710 00:39:14,422 --> 00:39:16,287 Most of them go for about 6 months. 711 00:39:16,322 --> 00:39:18,544 No... no... no... 712 00:39:18,579 --> 00:39:19,725 Bag snatchin' ain't bad. 713 00:39:20,507 --> 00:39:23,199 I'll take note of one or two of these. 714 00:39:23,234 --> 00:39:24,513 Yes, do that. 715 00:39:24,548 --> 00:39:26,090 Here, I've got this. 716 00:39:26,125 --> 00:39:27,632 Bag snatching... 717 00:39:30,082 --> 00:39:32,697 Then there's... shoplifting. 718 00:39:32,732 --> 00:39:34,877 Yes... shoplifting. 719 00:39:34,912 --> 00:39:36,769 They're gettin' very down on that nowadays, you know. 720 00:39:36,804 --> 00:39:38,906 Especially among the upper classes. 721 00:39:38,941 --> 00:39:41,937 Then there's... I think I've got it here. 722 00:39:42,632 --> 00:39:43,507 I may be wrong. 723 00:39:43,542 --> 00:39:46,188 How about stealing lead from churches? 724 00:39:46,223 --> 00:39:48,834 Just climb up on the roof and rip it off. 725 00:39:50,999 --> 00:39:52,694 No... he has no head for heights. 726 00:39:52,729 --> 00:39:54,231 Oh, that's a pity. 727 00:39:54,266 --> 00:39:57,162 Well, car-stealing's very popular, you know. 728 00:39:57,866 --> 00:40:00,204 Yes... car stealing... 729 00:40:00,239 --> 00:40:01,074 Bung that down. 730 00:40:08,520 --> 00:40:09,657 Oh... alright! 731 00:40:15,999 --> 00:40:18,261 Alright... alright... alright! 732 00:40:28,023 --> 00:40:28,856 Shut the window! 733 00:40:29,249 --> 00:40:30,304 My feet are cold! 734 00:40:38,032 --> 00:40:40,306 Don't stand there gaping... my dinner'll spoil. 735 00:41:17,114 --> 00:41:19,571 Alright.. alright... alright! 736 00:41:29,868 --> 00:41:30,636 Have you got asthma? 737 00:41:31,785 --> 00:41:32,179 No... 738 00:41:32,180 --> 00:41:34,307 Then stop puffin' like a train... it gets on my nerves. 739 00:41:35,134 --> 00:41:35,921 You left the door open. 740 00:41:36,923 --> 00:41:38,382 Shut it when you go! 741 00:41:38,417 --> 00:41:40,171 - Is that all you...? - Go on! 742 00:42:34,156 --> 00:42:34,940 You're fired! 743 00:42:40,498 --> 00:42:41,505 Mr Webb... 744 00:42:41,540 --> 00:42:43,079 I beg you to reconsider this. 745 00:42:43,114 --> 00:42:46,468 The only matter for consideration is whether I kick you out now or tomorrow morning. 746 00:42:49,658 --> 00:42:51,347 I'm willing to work for no wages. 747 00:42:51,382 --> 00:42:53,054 Still all too expensive. 748 00:42:53,089 --> 00:42:55,657 In fact, I'm willing to pay YOU to let me stay. 749 00:42:57,603 --> 00:42:59,541 I only ask to remain a month... 750 00:42:59,576 --> 00:43:03,974 If you let me stay, I'll give you £1,000. 751 00:43:05,703 --> 00:43:06,543 What did you say? 752 00:43:06,578 --> 00:43:08,216 £1,000! 753 00:43:08,251 --> 00:43:09,489 You're off your head! 754 00:43:09,524 --> 00:43:11,041 - I know it sounds insane... - Don't come near me! 755 00:43:11,076 --> 00:43:12,784 - But I mean it! - Go and lie down! 756 00:43:12,819 --> 00:43:14,493 - I'll put it in writing! - Get out! 757 00:43:23,305 --> 00:43:26,234 Potty!... Completely potty! 758 00:43:57,178 --> 00:43:57,805 You rang for me? 759 00:43:57,806 --> 00:44:01,337 Yes... but not to appear like something out of a French farce. 760 00:44:01,372 --> 00:44:02,687 Go away and put your clothes on. 761 00:44:03,717 --> 00:44:05,304 Never mind... you look terrible anyway. 762 00:44:05,339 --> 00:44:07,550 Take those flowers out... they're eatin' up the oxygen. 763 00:44:07,585 --> 00:44:10,174 And you dare to send for me just for that? 764 00:44:10,209 --> 00:44:11,914 Ah... keep a civil tongue in your head! 765 00:44:11,949 --> 00:44:13,753 Why should I? You've dismissed me haven't you? 766 00:44:13,788 --> 00:44:14,709 I'll say what I like... 767 00:44:14,744 --> 00:44:15,962 And here and now I'd like to say 768 00:44:15,997 --> 00:44:18,184 that you're the most detestable, abominable old man 769 00:44:18,219 --> 00:44:20,381 it's ever been my misfortune to encounter. 770 00:44:20,416 --> 00:44:24,803 A pity... because I'd changed my mind about sending you away. 771 00:44:24,838 --> 00:44:26,717 Anything to say about that? 772 00:44:27,674 --> 00:44:30,933 Mind you, it's not for your £1,000... which obviously doesn't exist. 773 00:44:30,968 --> 00:44:32,083 But it does, and I mean it. 774 00:44:32,118 --> 00:44:34,459 Nor for your beauty or efficiency... 775 00:44:34,494 --> 00:44:35,800 Which don't exist either... 776 00:44:35,835 --> 00:44:39,719 But purely for my own convenience, until I can find somebody better. 777 00:44:39,754 --> 00:44:41,470 Which shouldn't be difficult. 778 00:44:41,505 --> 00:44:43,187 See the door closes when you go. 779 00:44:45,311 --> 00:44:47,801 Uh... the flowers. 780 00:45:01,126 --> 00:45:04,072 Your 'Handsome Herbert' seems to be a little late this morning. 781 00:45:04,107 --> 00:45:05,153 He may not be handsome... 782 00:45:05,188 --> 00:45:07,413 But at least he's not a wolf at the Hammersmith Palais. 783 00:45:07,804 --> 00:45:09,080 Naughty, naughty! 784 00:45:13,229 --> 00:45:14,914 What on earth are you doing, Mr Stewart. 785 00:45:15,345 --> 00:45:17,196 Leave that young lady alone! 786 00:45:17,231 --> 00:45:19,691 And in Mr Wagstaffe's office, too! 787 00:45:19,726 --> 00:45:21,898 I think Miss Heath is capable of looking after herself. 788 00:45:21,933 --> 00:45:23,831 No she isn't, not while I'm here to stop her. 789 00:45:23,866 --> 00:45:25,729 Thank you Mr Russell, but it's quite alright. 790 00:45:25,764 --> 00:45:26,406 Oh, no it isn't... 791 00:45:26,441 --> 00:45:28,185 Now you run along and leave this to me. 792 00:45:38,699 --> 00:45:39,633 Now look here, Stewart... 793 00:45:39,668 --> 00:45:41,073 I'm not going to stand for any nonsense... 794 00:45:41,108 --> 00:45:42,682 Oh, go away... 795 00:45:43,516 --> 00:45:44,927 Go away, little man. 796 00:45:44,962 --> 00:45:47,503 Alright! Little man I may be, but not for long. 797 00:45:47,538 --> 00:45:52,145 Let me tell you that one day I'll come in here in a Rolls-Royce. 798 00:45:52,969 --> 00:45:54,781 And I'll have an overdraft of 20,000. 799 00:45:55,131 --> 00:45:56,087 Or more! 800 00:45:56,122 --> 00:45:58,960 And you'll me calling me "sir". 801 00:45:58,995 --> 00:46:00,462 Oh, I'd like to see that! 802 00:46:01,381 --> 00:46:04,489 Well, sometimes... worms change their... 803 00:46:04,524 --> 00:46:05,812 Their spots! 804 00:46:05,847 --> 00:46:09,424 And when I do, I'll march in here without knocking... 805 00:46:09,459 --> 00:46:11,974 And I'll... 806 00:46:12,009 --> 00:46:13,241 I'll sit on the desk. 807 00:46:13,276 --> 00:46:16,198 And I'll say "Hello Wagstaffe... how's the... " 808 00:46:20,470 --> 00:46:22,300 You fool! Look what you've done to my suit! 809 00:46:22,335 --> 00:46:24,009 I'm terribly sorry, Mr Stewart... 810 00:46:24,044 --> 00:46:25,301 You'll pay for this! 811 00:46:25,336 --> 00:46:27,196 No, it was both of our faults, really. 812 00:46:27,231 --> 00:46:31,707 Oh, no... you wait until Mr Wagstaffe hears about this. 813 00:46:31,742 --> 00:46:33,483 Oh, bother Mr Wagstaffe... 814 00:46:33,518 --> 00:46:36,033 Mr Wagstaffe... Mr Wagstaffe... 815 00:46:36,068 --> 00:46:38,622 Come on, don't just stand there... help me pick them up. 816 00:46:39,463 --> 00:46:40,300 Come on... 817 00:46:57,558 --> 00:47:00,050 And what are you doing NOW, Mr Russell? 818 00:47:01,383 --> 00:47:02,724 It's your wife again, sir... 819 00:47:03,868 --> 00:47:05,975 She's... gone to pieces. 820 00:47:06,010 --> 00:47:09,418 Mr Russell, how long you remain with us, I don't know, but I hope not long. 821 00:47:09,453 --> 00:47:12,993 But until you go, you won't set foot in my office again. 822 00:47:13,028 --> 00:47:15,091 Yessir... no sir... 823 00:47:15,904 --> 00:47:17,483 Oh but sir, I... 824 00:47:17,518 --> 00:47:19,882 That was an order, Mr Russell. 825 00:47:32,255 --> 00:47:33,294 Father... what are you doing? 826 00:47:33,329 --> 00:47:34,877 Searching her belongings... what do you think I'm doing? 827 00:47:34,912 --> 00:47:36,019 That's a dreadful thing to do. 828 00:47:36,662 --> 00:47:38,332 You mind your own business and answer the bell. 829 00:47:38,367 --> 00:47:39,539 That'll be the detective. 830 00:47:39,574 --> 00:47:40,251 Detective? 831 00:47:40,286 --> 00:47:41,569 Oh father, not again... 832 00:47:41,604 --> 00:47:43,527 Just when we get somebody good at last. 833 00:47:43,562 --> 00:47:45,423 Away you go! 834 00:48:02,463 --> 00:48:04,918 I had an appointment with Mr Webb. 835 00:48:04,953 --> 00:48:06,708 If you're from the police, you're wasting your time. 836 00:48:06,743 --> 00:48:11,024 Oh I'm not from the police, I'm a private inquiry agent, Mrs... 837 00:48:11,059 --> 00:48:11,959 or Miss... 838 00:48:11,994 --> 00:48:13,017 Miss. 839 00:48:13,052 --> 00:48:16,171 What private enquiry there can be about that poor soul, I can't imagine. 840 00:48:16,206 --> 00:48:17,802 - Good morning, sir. - Your detective. 841 00:48:19,285 --> 00:48:20,989 A bit young, aren't you? 842 00:48:21,858 --> 00:48:22,781 For what, sir? 843 00:48:23,304 --> 00:48:24,509 For what I've a mind to. 844 00:48:24,544 --> 00:48:25,942 Listen to me. 845 00:48:25,977 --> 00:48:27,846 Last night I sacked my maid. 846 00:48:27,881 --> 00:48:31,160 Whereupon she offered me £1,000 to let her stay for a month. 847 00:48:31,195 --> 00:48:31,877 Did she now? 848 00:48:31,912 --> 00:48:33,559 Father, isn't this going a bit too far? 849 00:48:33,594 --> 00:48:35,026 That's why I sent for you. 850 00:48:35,061 --> 00:48:37,823 Nobody in their right mind would stay in this house a minute longer than they need. 851 00:48:37,858 --> 00:48:39,279 I don't agree, sir. 852 00:48:39,572 --> 00:48:42,732 You're here to do a job of work... not to be flippant... Sit down. 853 00:48:42,767 --> 00:48:43,679 Sorry, sir. 854 00:48:43,714 --> 00:48:47,084 Now then... either she's cracked, and has escaped from some asylum... 855 00:48:47,119 --> 00:48:48,626 Or she's a criminal lying low. 856 00:48:48,661 --> 00:48:50,098 I tend to think she's a criminal. 857 00:48:50,133 --> 00:48:52,754 This identity card... obviously forged... Look at it. 858 00:48:53,414 --> 00:48:56,868 No 30-bob-a-week domestic servant could live in that neighbourhood. 859 00:48:56,903 --> 00:48:57,838 Certainly looks a bit odd. 860 00:48:57,873 --> 00:48:59,292 What do you want ME to do about it? 861 00:48:59,327 --> 00:48:59,921 Check up on her... 862 00:48:59,922 --> 00:49:02,264 Find out where she comes from, where she goes... everything about her. 863 00:49:02,299 --> 00:49:02,904 Is she here now? 864 00:49:02,905 --> 00:49:04,296 No... gave her the afternoon off. 865 00:49:04,331 --> 00:49:05,688 Didn't want her spotting you. 866 00:49:06,307 --> 00:49:07,922 Well? You'll take the job? 867 00:49:07,957 --> 00:49:08,530 Certainly, sir. 868 00:49:08,531 --> 00:49:09,167 Good. 869 00:49:09,168 --> 00:49:10,987 It'll be a pleasure. 870 00:49:15,117 --> 00:49:16,148 Oh, ma'am!... 871 00:49:16,183 --> 00:49:17,729 I didn't expect you! 872 00:49:17,967 --> 00:49:19,142 I'll just put me apron on... 873 00:49:19,177 --> 00:49:21,020 It doesn't matter about the apron. 874 00:49:23,412 --> 00:49:24,829 Come here please. 875 00:49:27,265 --> 00:49:28,250 Have you found another post? 876 00:49:29,087 --> 00:49:32,239 No, ma'am. You see... What with no references... 877 00:49:32,871 --> 00:49:36,107 Ethel, I'm afraid I've been a little hard on you at times. 878 00:49:37,328 --> 00:49:38,550 One doesn't realise... 879 00:49:39,486 --> 00:49:41,493 If you care to stay with me, you can. 880 00:49:42,347 --> 00:49:44,170 I shall be away about a month. 881 00:49:44,912 --> 00:49:46,576 You could have a little holiday. 882 00:49:47,230 --> 00:49:47,715 Oh, ma'am... 883 00:49:47,716 --> 00:49:49,551 With pay, of course. 884 00:49:52,373 --> 00:49:54,132 I should like you to stay, if you would. 885 00:49:54,167 --> 00:49:56,103 Oh, thank you very much, ma'am. 886 00:49:56,138 --> 00:49:57,320 Oh yes, I will. 887 00:49:57,355 --> 00:49:58,396 Good. 888 00:49:58,431 --> 00:50:01,287 Well, I'm going to have a little rest... I'm rather tired. 889 00:50:23,187 --> 00:50:24,930 Is Miss Agnes Russell in? 890 00:50:24,965 --> 00:50:25,676 Yes. 891 00:50:25,711 --> 00:50:26,925 But she's asleep. 892 00:50:26,960 --> 00:50:28,139 Is she? Good. 893 00:50:28,595 --> 00:50:30,528 I dare say you can help me. I'm a reporter. 894 00:50:33,410 --> 00:50:34,572 Shall we go in? 895 00:50:34,607 --> 00:50:35,778 I s'pose. 896 00:50:38,691 --> 00:50:39,453 What's your name? 897 00:50:39,488 --> 00:50:40,491 Ethel. 898 00:50:40,526 --> 00:50:41,345 Sit down, Ethel. 899 00:50:43,517 --> 00:50:44,418 I know that face. 900 00:50:44,453 --> 00:50:45,649 Miss Russell's brother. 901 00:50:45,684 --> 00:50:48,044 He passed away last week, poor gentleman. 902 00:50:48,079 --> 00:50:49,495 Henry Russell... the joker? 903 00:50:49,530 --> 00:50:51,932 That's right, the practical joking man. 904 00:50:51,967 --> 00:50:54,334 He left her a fortune, so they say. 905 00:50:54,369 --> 00:50:55,533 Did he now? 906 00:50:55,568 --> 00:50:57,090 How much did he leave her? 907 00:50:57,125 --> 00:50:58,159 Ethel... 908 00:50:58,194 --> 00:51:00,321 Who is this gentleman? What does he want? 909 00:51:01,598 --> 00:51:03,329 I'm glad to meet you, Miss Russell. 910 00:51:03,767 --> 00:51:05,030 I'm from the Chelsea Chronicle, 911 00:51:05,065 --> 00:51:07,625 and I wonder if you'll give me a line or two on your brother. 912 00:51:07,660 --> 00:51:08,579 I have nothing to say. 913 00:51:08,614 --> 00:51:10,537 Ethel... show the gentleman out. 914 00:51:10,572 --> 00:51:12,460 I don't wish to see him again. 915 00:51:12,495 --> 00:51:13,662 But Miss Russell, I... 916 00:51:13,697 --> 00:51:14,491 Please! 917 00:51:46,838 --> 00:51:47,675 £5 please! 918 00:51:49,133 --> 00:51:50,457 You don't understand... I... 919 00:51:50,492 --> 00:51:51,781 Oh, that's alright, sir... £5. 920 00:51:53,290 --> 00:51:55,302 Oh yes, of course... £5. 921 00:51:57,259 --> 00:51:58,017 Thank you. 922 00:52:48,978 --> 00:52:50,354 Wrong tartan. 923 00:52:50,389 --> 00:52:52,250 The wrong tartan, sir? 924 00:53:20,216 --> 00:53:21,726 I'll be with you in a moment, sir. 925 00:54:11,474 --> 00:54:12,497 Terribly sorry! 926 00:54:12,532 --> 00:54:13,668 I wasn't looking where I was going. 927 00:54:13,703 --> 00:54:14,732 Pardon... my fault. 928 00:54:28,426 --> 00:54:29,753 Excuse me, sir... 929 00:54:30,382 --> 00:54:32,788 Did you purchase anything in the store? 930 00:54:32,823 --> 00:54:35,194 No, no... oh yes... a pedigreed pipe. 931 00:54:35,229 --> 00:54:36,335 £5. 932 00:54:36,370 --> 00:54:37,551 Nothing else, sir? 933 00:54:37,586 --> 00:54:38,697 Absolutely not. 934 00:54:38,732 --> 00:54:40,074 Would you mind just stepping into the office? 935 00:54:40,109 --> 00:54:41,761 Oh. of course... I'd be delighted. 936 00:54:47,301 --> 00:54:48,341 Come in here, please. 937 00:54:49,590 --> 00:54:50,803 Well, gentlemen... 938 00:54:50,838 --> 00:54:51,982 What can I do for you? 939 00:54:52,017 --> 00:54:54,159 Have you any objection to being searched? 940 00:54:54,194 --> 00:54:56,858 None at all... none at all... Where would you like to begin? 941 00:54:57,002 --> 00:54:58,068 This pocket. 942 00:55:06,789 --> 00:55:08,733 I've been robbed! 943 00:55:08,768 --> 00:55:09,926 My wallet! 944 00:55:12,017 --> 00:55:13,099 I demand compensation! 945 00:55:13,469 --> 00:55:14,512 What have you done with it? 946 00:55:14,547 --> 00:55:15,701 My wallet's gone! 947 00:55:18,350 --> 00:55:20,930 I don't understand... It doesn't make sense. 948 00:55:21,381 --> 00:55:22,803 Why is she working here, then? 949 00:55:22,838 --> 00:55:23,399 Search me... 950 00:55:23,400 --> 00:55:25,452 Either practical jokes run in the family... 951 00:55:25,487 --> 00:55:27,469 Or she's cracked, as your father suggested. 952 00:55:27,504 --> 00:55:29,165 The doctor's with him now, but he won't be long. 953 00:55:29,200 --> 00:55:30,130 Will you wait? 954 00:55:30,165 --> 00:55:32,313 Better not... Agnes may return... She mustn't spot me. 955 00:55:32,850 --> 00:55:34,935 But there are some more questions I'd like to ask her. 956 00:55:34,970 --> 00:55:36,887 There isn't much time now, so... 957 00:55:36,922 --> 00:55:39,312 Perhaps we could have some food together tonight and discuss it. 958 00:55:39,539 --> 00:55:40,751 What questions? 959 00:55:40,786 --> 00:55:42,159 Oh... a few details. 960 00:55:42,732 --> 00:55:45,864 After all one must go into details in a detailed manner. 961 00:55:45,899 --> 00:55:48,667 Mr Godfrey, I don't often get invited out. 962 00:55:48,981 --> 00:55:52,482 But if you really want me to come and dine with you, would you mind asking me properly? 963 00:55:53,108 --> 00:55:55,237 Madam, would you care to dine with me tonight? 964 00:55:55,737 --> 00:55:57,233 I should love it. 965 00:55:57,524 --> 00:56:00,166 If you promise not to discuss the case. 966 00:56:00,201 --> 00:56:01,890 Nothing was further from my mind. 967 00:56:01,925 --> 00:56:02,879 Good! 968 00:56:05,036 --> 00:56:06,009 Champagne of course... 969 00:56:06,549 --> 00:56:09,046 A bottle of Krug '34 to start with. 970 00:56:09,716 --> 00:56:11,238 Keep the usual on the ice for later on. 971 00:56:11,273 --> 00:56:12,761 Women never know the second bottle. 972 00:56:12,796 --> 00:56:14,145 Yes, Mr Simon. 973 00:56:17,219 --> 00:56:18,285 This is a very important date... 974 00:56:18,320 --> 00:56:21,968 So pass the word around to the girls that I'm not on "hello terms" tonight. 975 00:56:24,887 --> 00:56:26,123 Hello darling!... 976 00:56:26,479 --> 00:56:28,041 Oh... better take that back. 977 00:56:32,175 --> 00:56:33,075 Russell! 978 00:56:33,382 --> 00:56:35,871 Russell, your man told me I might find you here. 979 00:56:36,279 --> 00:56:37,891 He had no business! Why aren't you in jail? 980 00:56:37,926 --> 00:56:39,503 That's what I've come to talk to you about. 981 00:56:39,538 --> 00:56:40,975 Oh, is it?... Come and have a drink. 982 00:56:43,090 --> 00:56:44,098 I'm getting a little desperate. 983 00:56:44,133 --> 00:56:45,407 It may be easy for people like you... 984 00:56:45,442 --> 00:56:47,749 But I just don't seem to be able to get into prison. 985 00:56:47,784 --> 00:56:49,667 Don't be silly... Anyone can! 986 00:56:50,177 --> 00:56:51,267 What's in there? 987 00:56:51,302 --> 00:56:52,357 Oh, burglar tools... 988 00:56:52,855 --> 00:56:54,184 Keep your voice down! 989 00:56:58,119 --> 00:56:59,273 What are you going to do with them? 990 00:57:00,341 --> 00:57:02,544 You see, I thought a little housebreaking might do the trick. 991 00:57:02,579 --> 00:57:04,085 Well i wish you the best of luck. 992 00:57:04,120 --> 00:57:07,558 The trouble is, some people are inclined to be a little rough with burglars, and... 993 00:57:08,402 --> 00:57:10,558 Well, I thought, that with your permission of course 994 00:57:10,593 --> 00:57:12,680 I might break into YOUR flat tonight. 995 00:57:12,715 --> 00:57:14,767 What? That's quite out of the question... 996 00:57:14,802 --> 00:57:16,543 I shall be using it tonight anyway. 997 00:57:16,578 --> 00:57:19,260 All the better... then you can catch me red-handed. 998 00:57:19,295 --> 00:57:21,883 Now look, old boy... I've got very important plans for tonight. 999 00:57:21,918 --> 00:57:23,742 Catching burglars isn't one of them. 1000 00:57:23,777 --> 00:57:25,532 You pop off and burgle someone else. 1001 00:57:25,567 --> 00:57:27,829 I couldn't possibly burgle somebody I didn't know. 1002 00:57:28,302 --> 00:57:29,569 Wouldn't be playing the game. 1003 00:57:30,982 --> 00:57:32,620 Go and pinch a car or something. 1004 00:57:32,655 --> 00:57:36,065 Do you mind awfully... got plans... pop off. 1005 00:57:43,775 --> 00:57:44,772 Lucille darling! 1006 00:57:44,807 --> 00:57:46,249 You look quite heavenly! 1007 00:57:46,833 --> 00:57:48,516 Who on earth was that? 1008 00:57:48,551 --> 00:57:50,569 He's some old crook with a hard luck story... 1009 00:57:50,604 --> 00:57:53,022 Used to flog petrol coupons... lives on charity now. 1010 00:57:53,528 --> 00:57:55,085 Costs me a fiver every time I see him. 1011 00:57:57,243 --> 00:57:58,296 You're much too nice, Simon... 1012 00:57:58,696 --> 00:57:59,932 That's your trouble. 1013 00:58:00,487 --> 00:58:01,341 Nonsense! 1014 00:59:13,933 --> 00:59:15,257 These things yours, sir? 1015 00:59:16,350 --> 00:59:19,087 No, no... I borrowed... I... yes. 1016 00:59:19,122 --> 00:59:21,790 Yes, they're my burglar tools. 1017 00:59:21,825 --> 00:59:23,644 Burglar tools... what do you want with them? 1018 00:59:23,679 --> 00:59:24,938 I refuse to say. 1019 00:59:24,973 --> 00:59:28,565 Well in that case sir, I shall have to ask you to come along with me to the station. 1020 00:59:30,745 --> 00:59:31,986 I'll take the bag, sir. 1021 00:59:33,225 --> 00:59:33,625 You take the bag. 1022 00:59:48,906 --> 00:59:51,443 Sergeant, I picked this man up with a set of burglar tools. 1023 00:59:51,478 --> 00:59:53,200 Oh yeah... name? 1024 00:59:55,047 --> 00:59:56,544 So, it's you, you naughty boy. 1025 00:59:57,351 --> 00:59:58,543 After a bit of local colour, eh? 1026 00:59:58,578 --> 01:00:01,755 Now you want to be careful sir, or you will land yourself in the clink. 1027 01:00:01,793 --> 01:00:02,462 I want... 1028 01:00:02,497 --> 01:00:03,983 That's alright sir, I quite understand. 1029 01:00:04,018 --> 01:00:05,470 It's OK, Cafferty... I know this gentleman. 1030 01:00:05,505 --> 01:00:07,174 Jeremy Sinclair, the famous author. 1031 01:00:08,072 --> 01:00:08,763 You know, sir... 1032 01:00:08,764 --> 01:00:10,998 I've been enjoying that book of yours very much. 1033 01:00:11,553 --> 01:00:12,907 Very good stuff. 1034 01:00:12,942 --> 01:00:15,596 I'll lay 6 to 1 the referee murdered the outside left... 1035 01:00:15,631 --> 01:00:16,921 Am I right? 1036 01:00:16,956 --> 01:00:19,200 No, I'm afraid it was the goalkeeper's daughter. 1037 01:00:19,235 --> 01:00:21,507 What? But that's impossible. 1038 01:00:21,542 --> 01:00:22,657 If you don't want me anymore, I'll... 1039 01:00:22,692 --> 01:00:24,851 You run along and drop in any time you're passing... 1040 01:00:24,886 --> 01:00:25,842 Always welcome. 1041 01:00:26,422 --> 01:00:26,822 Good night. 1042 01:00:27,416 --> 01:00:27,816 One moment sir... 1043 01:00:29,009 --> 01:00:30,769 Might I have your autograph, please. 1044 01:00:40,948 --> 01:00:42,613 Lucille darling... you know, I'm serious... 1045 01:00:42,648 --> 01:00:44,514 This isn't just casual fun. 1046 01:00:47,035 --> 01:00:48,727 Let's sit down, shall we. 1047 01:00:55,705 --> 01:00:57,178 But... what did I do? 1048 01:00:57,618 --> 01:00:58,293 Nothing. 1049 01:00:58,294 --> 01:00:59,362 I swear to you I only... 1050 01:00:59,397 --> 01:01:00,395 Before you say anything more 1051 01:01:00,430 --> 01:01:03,740 I think I'd better tell you something about myself that you don't know. 1052 01:01:03,775 --> 01:01:04,798 What? 1053 01:01:06,462 --> 01:01:08,045 I've lied to you about myself. 1054 01:01:08,870 --> 01:01:10,799 You mean you're not what you pretend to be? 1055 01:01:10,834 --> 01:01:11,637 No, I'm a fraud. 1056 01:01:11,672 --> 01:01:12,812 Mr Simon? 1057 01:01:12,847 --> 01:01:15,473 No, hold it Gustav, I may not be needing that. 1058 01:01:15,508 --> 01:01:17,569 You'd better explain yourself. 1059 01:01:18,779 --> 01:01:19,763 That first day we met... 1060 01:01:19,798 --> 01:01:21,848 I wasn't going to Eton to see my brother. 1061 01:01:21,883 --> 01:01:22,536 Why not? 1062 01:01:22,537 --> 01:01:24,725 I haven't got a brother at Eton. 1063 01:01:24,760 --> 01:01:27,947 In fact, I haven't got a brother at all. 1064 01:01:27,982 --> 01:01:30,305 I see... so you've been fooling me. 1065 01:01:30,340 --> 01:01:31,266 Why? 1066 01:01:31,655 --> 01:01:35,923 I was on my way to meet the man... the man my uncle wants me to marry. 1067 01:01:36,896 --> 01:01:40,026 He's rich, a title... everything a girl could want. 1068 01:01:40,763 --> 01:01:43,026 I didn't want him, even before I met you... 1069 01:01:43,336 --> 01:01:44,764 Then you came along and I... 1070 01:01:45,478 --> 01:01:46,790 Is that all?! 1071 01:01:48,151 --> 01:01:49,918 Gustav... where's that bottle of champagne? 1072 01:01:50,051 --> 01:01:52,026 But I haven't told my uncle yet. 1073 01:01:52,061 --> 01:01:53,091 Or the other man. 1074 01:01:53,126 --> 01:01:56,444 I haven't dared to, until I knew whether you were serious about me. 1075 01:01:56,479 --> 01:01:59,275 Serious?... but I'm crazy about you! 1076 01:01:59,779 --> 01:02:02,154 Lucille darling, will you marry me? 1077 01:02:03,495 --> 01:02:05,381 Oh, Simon... yes please! 1078 01:02:05,416 --> 01:02:06,378 When will you tell your uncle? 1079 01:02:06,852 --> 01:02:08,227 Would you like me to ring him now? 1080 01:02:08,262 --> 01:02:09,811 Yes, do! I'll come with you. 1081 01:02:09,846 --> 01:02:11,361 I've got a call to make, too. 1082 01:02:12,991 --> 01:02:15,104 Gustav... make that a magnum! 1083 01:02:15,139 --> 01:02:15,994 Very well, sir. 1084 01:02:30,718 --> 01:02:32,952 Darling... 1085 01:02:49,766 --> 01:02:52,285 Benson... it's in the bag! 1086 01:02:52,320 --> 01:02:54,535 Well, put a couple of bottles on the ice and go to bed. 1087 01:02:55,613 --> 01:02:58,637 My heartiest congratulations, sir... a notable achievement. 1088 01:03:08,877 --> 01:03:10,506 Hello... Uncle Arthur? Lucille speaking. 1089 01:03:11,423 --> 01:03:12,536 He's hooked! 1090 01:03:12,571 --> 01:03:14,665 Open up a bottle of champagne and have one on me. 1091 01:03:14,700 --> 01:03:19,878 My heartiest congratulations, my dear... Oh, a notable achievement! 1092 01:03:28,891 --> 01:03:30,175 These flowers have just been delivered. 1093 01:03:30,432 --> 01:03:31,565 Who for? 1094 01:03:31,600 --> 01:03:32,653 For you I s'pose. 1095 01:03:32,688 --> 01:03:35,108 Why? I'm not dead yet. 1096 01:03:36,623 --> 01:03:37,750 You sent me those. 1097 01:03:37,785 --> 01:03:38,659 I did no such thing! 1098 01:03:38,694 --> 01:03:39,534 You must have done... 1099 01:03:39,535 --> 01:03:41,350 Nobody likes me enough to send me flowers. 1100 01:03:43,177 --> 01:03:44,589 Without wishing to appear rude... 1101 01:03:44,624 --> 01:03:47,600 Mr Webb... I don't like you enough either. 1102 01:03:47,992 --> 01:03:50,771 Oh, yes you do... enough to offer me £1,000 to stay here. 1103 01:03:50,806 --> 01:03:53,159 But don't imagine that smothering me in blooms is gonna do the trick... 1104 01:03:53,194 --> 01:03:54,621 You'll leave when I want you to leave. 1105 01:03:54,656 --> 01:03:56,475 I've no illusions about that. 1106 01:03:59,732 --> 01:04:00,753 What lovely flowers. 1107 01:04:01,321 --> 01:04:02,750 Give them to me and get a vase and some water, will you. 1108 01:04:02,785 --> 01:04:03,877 Yes, Miss Webb. 1109 01:04:03,912 --> 01:04:04,970 Who are they from? 1110 01:04:05,534 --> 01:04:07,943 More bribery and corruption from that idiotic maid. 1111 01:04:08,667 --> 01:04:10,795 Where are you all dolled up this morning? 1112 01:04:10,830 --> 01:04:12,162 What are you grinning at? 1113 01:04:12,197 --> 01:04:13,494 The flowers are meant for me! 1114 01:04:13,529 --> 01:04:14,189 Who from? 1115 01:04:14,224 --> 01:04:15,488 Your detective. 1116 01:04:15,523 --> 01:04:17,122 Why is he sending you flowers? 1117 01:04:17,157 --> 01:04:18,687 Because he likes me I suppose. 1118 01:04:18,722 --> 01:04:22,150 He's no business liking you. He's not paid to send you flowers. 1119 01:04:22,185 --> 01:04:23,770 Well he's hoping to buy them. 1120 01:04:23,805 --> 01:04:25,200 This must stop at once! 1121 01:04:25,235 --> 01:04:28,039 He's a perfect right to send me flowers 1122 01:04:28,074 --> 01:04:29,365 And i hope he goes on doing so. 1123 01:04:31,040 --> 01:04:32,862 I was out with him until midnight last night. 1124 01:04:34,464 --> 01:04:35,934 I expect to be much later tonight. 1125 01:04:35,969 --> 01:04:37,576 You'll stay in your room. 1126 01:04:37,611 --> 01:04:39,149 I'm sorry, father... I won't! 1127 01:04:39,184 --> 01:04:41,685 You've successfully wrecked every chance I ever had. 1128 01:04:41,931 --> 01:04:44,476 We can't go on like that... It's no good, father. 1129 01:04:44,511 --> 01:04:47,022 You can't want me to waste my life and become... 1130 01:04:47,452 --> 01:04:49,735 Something like that dreary old spinster out there. 1131 01:04:57,223 --> 01:04:59,957 While the doctor's upstairs, I thought you might like a cup of tea. 1132 01:04:59,992 --> 01:05:02,666 Thank you Agnes, that was very thoughtful of you. 1133 01:05:03,431 --> 01:05:06,790 Miss Webb... I couldn't help overhearing what you said about me upstairs. 1134 01:05:06,825 --> 01:05:09,042 I'm very sorry, I was overwrought and I... 1135 01:05:09,077 --> 01:05:10,878 Oh, don't apologise... please. 1136 01:05:10,913 --> 01:05:12,680 I know well enough what I am. 1137 01:05:13,732 --> 01:05:16,330 It takes some people a long time to find out about themselves. 1138 01:05:17,288 --> 01:05:20,084 And when they do... it's too late to do anything about it. 1139 01:05:20,119 --> 01:05:21,973 It isn't too late for you. 1140 01:05:26,845 --> 01:05:28,104 How is he, Doctor? 1141 01:05:30,002 --> 01:05:32,200 Your father's an old humbug, m'dear. 1142 01:05:32,235 --> 01:05:34,566 He enjoys bad health more than anyone I know. 1143 01:05:34,601 --> 01:05:36,863 You see the trouble with these hypochondriacs is 1144 01:05:36,898 --> 01:05:39,168 they can make themselves just as ill as they want to be. 1145 01:05:39,506 --> 01:05:41,502 He has a dicky heart, there's no denying... 1146 01:05:41,537 --> 01:05:42,515 But it's not going to kill him... 1147 01:05:42,550 --> 01:05:43,863 Unless he wants it to. 1148 01:05:43,898 --> 01:05:44,852 What can I do? 1149 01:05:44,887 --> 01:05:45,893 Be gentle with him. 1150 01:05:45,928 --> 01:05:48,885 Try not to cross him in any way... That might be dangerous. 1151 01:05:48,920 --> 01:05:50,678 Not much else you can do. 1152 01:05:50,713 --> 01:05:51,351 I see. 1153 01:05:51,386 --> 01:05:53,913 Thank you Doctor, I'll do what you say. 1154 01:05:53,948 --> 01:05:54,807 Goodbye, my dear. 1155 01:05:55,608 --> 01:05:57,178 I'll look in again tonight. 1156 01:05:57,213 --> 01:05:57,879 Yes, Doctor. 1157 01:07:06,676 --> 01:07:07,751 Why... Captain Russell! 1158 01:07:10,424 --> 01:07:12,254 I thought you were going away. 1159 01:07:12,545 --> 01:07:14,570 Yes, I am going very shortly now. 1160 01:07:14,605 --> 01:07:16,595 What on earth have you got there? 1161 01:07:17,194 --> 01:07:18,079 A brick. 1162 01:07:20,307 --> 01:07:22,254 A brick... 1163 01:07:22,289 --> 01:07:23,554 I do hope you'll be back soon... 1164 01:07:23,589 --> 01:07:26,098 I'm just longing to get on with "Blood Lust"... 1165 01:07:26,133 --> 01:07:27,792 The best yet, you know. 1166 01:07:27,827 --> 01:07:28,838 Yes, Sheila. 1167 01:07:30,558 --> 01:07:32,990 That's the first time you've ever called me Sheila. 1168 01:07:34,004 --> 01:07:34,784 Oh, is it? 1169 01:07:34,987 --> 01:07:37,396 Well, do forgive me, I'm not feeling very well. 1170 01:07:37,992 --> 01:07:39,876 In fact I'm not myself at all. 1171 01:07:40,681 --> 01:07:41,755 Don't move, Sheila. 1172 01:07:44,089 --> 01:07:44,777 Now listen dear... 1173 01:07:44,778 --> 01:07:46,575 Don't ask any questions and don't look back... 1174 01:07:46,610 --> 01:07:47,707 I'll explain everything later... 1175 01:07:47,742 --> 01:07:49,880 Please go away quickly Sheila... as quickly as you can... 1176 01:07:49,915 --> 01:07:50,713 Hurry, dear. 1177 01:07:54,489 --> 01:07:55,212 Deniston! 1178 01:07:57,365 --> 01:07:58,374 Fluffy! 1179 01:07:58,409 --> 01:07:59,721 So this is your Secret Service? 1180 01:07:59,756 --> 01:08:00,999 I haven't gone yet, Fluffy. 1181 01:08:01,034 --> 01:08:03,322 Daddy was quite right... he warned me! 1182 01:08:03,357 --> 01:08:04,334 Please... listen Fluffy... 1183 01:08:04,369 --> 01:08:05,417 Don't call me that! 1184 01:08:05,452 --> 01:08:06,431 How could you do it? 1185 01:08:06,466 --> 01:08:08,506 You're supposed to be behind the Iron Curtain... and look at you! 1186 01:08:08,541 --> 01:08:10,485 Who was that woman? What were you giving her? 1187 01:08:10,520 --> 01:08:12,237 - Nothing dear... nothing... - Well, what's in that parcel? 1188 01:08:12,272 --> 01:08:13,132 A brick. 1189 01:08:13,167 --> 01:08:15,355 This is no moment to start being funny. 1190 01:08:15,390 --> 01:08:16,945 You've humiliated me quite enough. 1191 01:08:16,980 --> 01:08:20,096 I shall apply to Commandant Borthwaite for an immediate posting overseas. 1192 01:08:20,131 --> 01:08:21,267 - Elizabeth... - No! 1193 01:08:37,346 --> 01:08:38,070 Did you do that? 1194 01:08:38,105 --> 01:08:39,501 Yes, he did... I saw him! 1195 01:08:48,334 --> 01:08:49,108 You?! 1196 01:08:49,673 --> 01:08:50,840 What are you doing here? 1197 01:08:50,875 --> 01:08:52,529 Don't worry, it's nothing to do with you. 1198 01:08:53,473 --> 01:08:54,544 Where's Joan? 1199 01:09:01,426 --> 01:09:02,775 Now what's all this about? 1200 01:09:02,810 --> 01:09:06,284 Please go away... You've no right to come in here. 1201 01:09:06,942 --> 01:09:09,265 I've every right to know why you're out every time I telephone. 1202 01:09:10,500 --> 01:09:12,138 Why you lock yourself up in this dismal house 1203 01:09:12,173 --> 01:09:13,742 as if you were terrified of the sight of me? 1204 01:09:13,777 --> 01:09:17,468 I just don't want to see you any more, that's all. 1205 01:09:18,486 --> 01:09:20,483 - Liar! - Would you please go! 1206 01:09:20,518 --> 01:09:24,873 Oh no! I'm not going to stand by and see you waste your life on that old fraud upstairs. 1207 01:09:25,084 --> 01:09:26,911 I'm going to see him now. 1208 01:09:30,480 --> 01:09:34,701 Would you please try to understand.. I'm the only one he's got, and I... 1209 01:09:35,608 --> 01:09:36,747 I can't leave him. 1210 01:09:36,782 --> 01:09:38,059 Listen, you little fool... 1211 01:09:38,520 --> 01:09:43,094 I want to marry you so badly, that I'm even prepared to let your father live with us. 1212 01:09:45,271 --> 01:09:47,505 Ever seen one of these? 1213 01:09:47,540 --> 01:09:49,740 It's a Special Licence. 1214 01:09:51,165 --> 01:09:53,573 And we're going to use it tomorrow. 1215 01:09:53,608 --> 01:09:55,946 Oh no!... He'd never stand the shock! 1216 01:09:55,981 --> 01:09:58,265 Joan, if you don't make up your mind, it'll be too late. 1217 01:09:58,300 --> 01:10:00,934 Please... could you leave us alone for a moment. 1218 01:10:03,952 --> 01:10:06,917 Just for a minute... I only want to help you if I can. 1219 01:10:08,057 --> 01:10:08,769 Please! 1220 01:10:08,804 --> 01:10:11,246 Alright... but only for a moment. 1221 01:10:14,118 --> 01:10:17,827 You probably found out by now that I live alone on a small income. 1222 01:10:17,862 --> 01:10:21,070 And that I'm rather a friendless sort of person. 1223 01:10:21,660 --> 01:10:24,279 But perhaps you don't know why. 1224 01:10:25,061 --> 01:10:26,390 The answer's a simple one. 1225 01:10:26,989 --> 01:10:30,285 I sacrificed my youth, like you are doing, for someone like your father. 1226 01:10:30,943 --> 01:10:33,480 Like you, I received no gratitude... 1227 01:10:33,813 --> 01:10:34,864 No reward. 1228 01:10:35,756 --> 01:10:38,452 Only misery... and loneliness. 1229 01:10:38,487 --> 01:10:41,423 But... someone must look after him. 1230 01:10:41,458 --> 01:10:42,712 I will! 1231 01:10:43,485 --> 01:10:44,349 You?! 1232 01:10:44,384 --> 01:10:47,697 Yes... I'll take care of him for as long as it's necessary. 1233 01:10:47,732 --> 01:10:49,774 Go and marry your young man... tomorrow! 1234 01:10:49,809 --> 01:10:51,823 Then come back and worry about your father. 1235 01:10:51,858 --> 01:10:53,838 - He'd never stand it! - Yes he will... go on! 1236 01:10:54,862 --> 01:10:56,272 Go on! 1237 01:11:01,263 --> 01:11:02,376 Thanks. 1238 01:11:18,886 --> 01:11:20,477 You're very late this morning. 1239 01:11:20,512 --> 01:11:21,999 A hold-up, I suppose. 1240 01:11:23,976 --> 01:11:25,137 A hold-up... on the train. 1241 01:11:27,967 --> 01:11:29,547 Train... yes. 1242 01:11:57,292 --> 01:11:58,273 Your hat. 1243 01:12:00,000 --> 01:12:01,215 Thank you. 1244 01:12:14,253 --> 01:12:15,690 Good morning Mr Russell. 1245 01:12:17,200 --> 01:12:18,366 Miss Heath... 1246 01:12:21,153 --> 01:12:22,983 Is Mr Wagstaffe alone just now? 1247 01:12:23,018 --> 01:12:24,012 Yes. 1248 01:12:24,047 --> 01:12:25,737 I was afraid he would be. 1249 01:12:26,668 --> 01:12:27,561 What? 1250 01:12:27,596 --> 01:12:30,535 You know he never sees anyone between 10 and half-past. 1251 01:12:31,658 --> 01:12:34,509 Well I wanted to see him on rather a personal matter. 1252 01:12:34,544 --> 01:12:36,415 Would you mind stopping anyone coming in? 1253 01:12:36,450 --> 01:12:39,878 Until I've finished with him. 1254 01:12:39,913 --> 01:12:40,962 Of course. 1255 01:12:40,997 --> 01:12:42,876 Is something on your mind? 1256 01:12:43,794 --> 01:12:45,141 Yes. 1257 01:12:45,327 --> 01:12:48,368 I hope one day you'll let me take you out to dinner and explain. 1258 01:12:48,403 --> 01:12:49,697 Ask me and see. 1259 01:12:51,190 --> 01:12:55,586 I'll hope you'll come... after... after... 1260 01:13:21,690 --> 01:13:23,955 But Mr Russell has all day to badger Mr Wagstaffe. 1261 01:13:23,990 --> 01:13:26,220 These two gentlemen have an appointment with him. 1262 01:13:26,545 --> 01:13:28,486 I'm sorry, but there's nothing in the book about it. 1263 01:13:28,521 --> 01:13:29,986 Then you must have forgotten to put it down. 1264 01:13:30,021 --> 01:13:32,001 This way gentlemen, please. 1265 01:13:38,208 --> 01:13:39,797 You on holidays yet gentlemen? 1266 01:13:41,057 --> 01:13:42,798 I'm going next week... camping. 1267 01:13:42,833 --> 01:13:44,631 Athletic. 1268 01:13:44,666 --> 01:13:47,357 Bit of an amateur boxer. Two gentlemen to see you sir. 1269 01:13:48,171 --> 01:13:49,217 All right... put 'em up! 1270 01:14:27,623 --> 01:14:29,446 Reach!... Reach for the sky! 1271 01:14:32,045 --> 01:14:33,834 Well done, Russell! 1272 01:14:49,807 --> 01:14:52,447 I levelled the pistol at them... 1273 01:14:52,482 --> 01:14:56,673 and after a brief spot of struggle, they capitulated. 1274 01:14:56,708 --> 01:14:59,997 Unconditionally, eh? Absolutely terrific, Mr Russell. 1275 01:15:00,032 --> 01:15:03,252 Now tell me... what are your plans for the future? 1276 01:15:03,287 --> 01:15:09,102 Well, I understand I'm to be offered a branch managership... immediately. 1277 01:15:09,137 --> 01:15:10,362 Absolutely terrific. 1278 01:15:10,397 --> 01:15:14,599 Now tell me... one last question... why do you carry a water pistol? 1279 01:15:19,357 --> 01:15:24,064 Well... it was... 1280 01:15:24,099 --> 01:15:26,936 It was a sort of... surprise for somebody. 1281 01:15:27,535 --> 01:15:29,018 Absolutely terrific. 1282 01:15:33,011 --> 01:15:35,491 Your family's getting up to some funny pranks these days, eh? 1283 01:15:35,526 --> 01:15:36,711 I've brought you the evening papers. 1284 01:15:36,746 --> 01:15:37,385 Thank you. 1285 01:15:37,386 --> 01:15:38,575 Where's that daughter of mine? 1286 01:15:38,610 --> 01:15:39,863 She should have been back hours ago. 1287 01:15:39,898 --> 01:15:40,668 She's here now. 1288 01:15:40,703 --> 01:15:43,243 She wants you to meet her husband before they go away. 1289 01:15:45,604 --> 01:15:46,171 What did you say? 1290 01:15:46,172 --> 01:15:48,916 She's just married that young detective you hired to spy up on me. 1291 01:15:50,031 --> 01:15:52,627 She's... married... detective? 1292 01:15:54,243 --> 01:15:55,453 This is YOUR doing! 1293 01:15:55,488 --> 01:15:56,629 No... it's yours. 1294 01:15:56,664 --> 01:15:57,948 You brought him into the house. 1295 01:16:04,368 --> 01:16:05,941 You needn't put on a show for ME. 1296 01:16:06,335 --> 01:16:09,139 Because I shan't send for the doctor even if you do. 1297 01:16:09,174 --> 01:16:11,184 - How dare you! - Now, now, now! 1298 01:16:11,219 --> 01:16:13,449 As far as you're concerned, there's no need to worry. 1299 01:16:13,484 --> 01:16:17,955 Because I've promised your daughter to stay here with you for as long as it may be necessary. 1300 01:16:18,666 --> 01:16:19,973 Smile, Mr Webb... 1301 01:16:20,683 --> 01:16:22,839 Look... over there. 1302 01:16:35,366 --> 01:16:37,163 Congratulations, my dear! 1303 01:16:37,198 --> 01:16:40,033 I hope he makes a better husband than he does a detective. 1304 01:16:40,068 --> 01:16:41,300 Oh, thank you, daddy! 1305 01:16:41,335 --> 01:16:42,532 I was so worried. 1306 01:16:42,694 --> 01:16:44,391 Very foolish f you... You don't have to worry... 1307 01:16:44,426 --> 01:16:46,697 It's poor "Bertha" who must bear the brunt. 1308 01:16:46,732 --> 01:16:48,874 It won't be for long, daddy... and then you'll come and live with us. 1309 01:16:48,909 --> 01:16:51,579 Live with a detective? I'd never feel safe. 1310 01:16:53,949 --> 01:16:55,065 Remarkably kind of you. 1311 01:16:55,100 --> 01:16:56,987 Daddy, we must fly... our train leaves in half an hour. 1312 01:16:58,164 --> 01:16:59,805 - I'll look after her, sir. - You'd better. 1313 01:16:59,840 --> 01:17:01,390 Thank you, Agnes, for everything. 1314 01:17:01,425 --> 01:17:02,923 - Good luck. - Thanks. 1315 01:17:15,211 --> 01:17:16,505 Touching little scene! 1316 01:17:16,540 --> 01:17:17,797 Thank you for taking it so well. 1317 01:17:19,139 --> 01:17:21,216 I'm never one to shut the door after the horse has bolted. 1318 01:17:22,158 --> 01:17:24,480 But I'm sometimes liable to look a gift horse in the mouth. 1319 01:17:25,269 --> 01:17:28,738 That was a noble gesture of yours... offering to stay indefinitely 1320 01:17:28,773 --> 01:17:30,637 with an unpleasant old man like me. 1321 01:17:30,672 --> 01:17:32,502 I've made 2 such gestures in my life. 1322 01:17:32,950 --> 01:17:34,348 I was happy to do it. 1323 01:17:35,521 --> 01:17:37,541 It was only necessary for you to stay a month, wasn't it? 1324 01:17:37,576 --> 01:17:38,240 Yes. 1325 01:17:38,241 --> 01:17:41,980 Well, I don't think such unselfishness should go unrewarded... 1326 01:17:42,015 --> 01:17:44,296 I'm prepared to make a sacrifice, too... 1327 01:17:44,331 --> 01:17:46,577 And do without you and your £1,000... 1328 01:17:46,612 --> 01:17:48,215 You're fired, Miss Russell! 1329 01:17:48,250 --> 01:17:49,818 Pack your bags and go now. 1330 01:17:51,579 --> 01:17:52,910 I might have expected that. 1331 01:17:52,945 --> 01:17:54,241 Aye... I think you might. 1332 01:17:55,189 --> 01:17:57,960 I don't know what you're losing... but it must be worth a lot. 1333 01:17:57,995 --> 01:18:01,131 It was... but I think I've gained more. 1334 01:18:01,166 --> 01:18:02,745 In other ways. 1335 01:18:03,969 --> 01:18:04,756 Goodbye Mr Webb. 1336 01:18:08,164 --> 01:18:10,686 And congratulations. 1337 01:18:20,375 --> 01:18:22,629 Enjoy your weekend? You're for the 'igh jump. 1338 01:18:22,664 --> 01:18:25,457 There's a new beak on the bench today... he's up from the East End court... 1339 01:18:25,492 --> 01:18:26,718 Prob'ly have a down on the upper classes. 1340 01:18:41,695 --> 01:18:43,305 No. 1 on your list... 1341 01:18:43,340 --> 01:18:44,916 Deniston Russell. 1342 01:18:54,338 --> 01:18:54,881 Excuse me... 1343 01:18:54,882 --> 01:18:56,735 Here... what are you doing? - It's alright... 1344 01:18:56,770 --> 01:18:58,589 I think I've changed my mind... I'm innocent. 1345 01:18:58,624 --> 01:19:00,931 I know... I know. 1346 01:19:05,036 --> 01:19:06,515 James Deniston Russell... 1347 01:19:06,550 --> 01:19:08,896 You are charged that on the 14th instant 1348 01:19:08,931 --> 01:19:11,436 at No. 121 Mayfair Street... 1349 01:19:11,471 --> 01:19:16,684 You caused wilful damage to a plate glass window, valued at £15. 1350 01:19:17,081 --> 01:19:20,533 You are further charged that you did at the same time, date and place 1351 01:19:20,568 --> 01:19:24,351 assault Charles Baker, a constable in the Metropolitan Police, 1352 01:19:24,386 --> 01:19:26,257 by striking him with your umbrella. 1353 01:19:28,139 --> 01:19:29,867 Do you plead guilty or not guilty? 1354 01:19:33,456 --> 01:19:35,151 Do you plead guilty or not guilty? 1355 01:19:36,480 --> 01:19:41,995 Well... it's true that certain unfortunate circumstances did force me into certain actions. 1356 01:19:42,995 --> 01:19:46,235 But I mean, if I'd dreamt that I'd be meeting you, Sir Charles... 1357 01:19:46,270 --> 01:19:47,714 Or dear Elizabeth... 1358 01:19:47,749 --> 01:19:49,535 We shall take that as a plea of Not Guilty. 1359 01:19:52,137 --> 01:19:54,453 I swear by almighty God, that the evidence I shall give the court 1360 01:19:54,488 --> 01:19:56,769 shall be the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. 1361 01:19:56,804 --> 01:19:59,824 Charles Baker, Police Constable 149, please... 1362 01:20:02,714 --> 01:20:03,975 You mustn't come in here. 1363 01:20:04,010 --> 01:20:05,845 You can't put me off like that! 1364 01:20:05,880 --> 01:20:07,681 - He's innocent. - They all are! 1365 01:20:07,716 --> 01:20:09,337 I want to give evidence. 1366 01:20:09,372 --> 01:20:11,896 Well, if you just wait a moment, I'll see what I can do. 1367 01:20:11,931 --> 01:20:14,421 The accused thereupon assaulted me in the course of my duty 1368 01:20:14,456 --> 01:20:16,584 by striking me with his umbrella, your worship. 1369 01:20:17,177 --> 01:20:19,663 You heard the constable's evidence, Captain Russell... 1370 01:20:19,698 --> 01:20:22,145 Do you wish to ask him any questions on it? 1371 01:20:22,807 --> 01:20:25,063 Oh, no, no, no... thank you. 1372 01:20:25,098 --> 01:20:27,389 Have you anything you wish to say? 1373 01:20:27,424 --> 01:20:29,863 No, no... not at present. 1374 01:20:30,389 --> 01:20:34,178 Although I'll be most happy to explain it all to you personally in 28 days time. 1375 01:20:34,213 --> 01:20:37,253 Now is the time, if you want to say anything at all. 1376 01:20:37,288 --> 01:20:39,609 Have you no witnesses you wish to call? 1377 01:20:41,064 --> 01:20:44,421 Excuse me sir... there's a lady outside who'd like to give evidence on his behalf. 1378 01:20:44,456 --> 01:20:46,082 Call her then... call her! 1379 01:20:48,963 --> 01:20:52,045 Captain Russell, you poor dear... what are they doing to you? 1380 01:20:52,494 --> 01:20:54,493 Don't you worry, I'll get you out of here. 1381 01:20:54,612 --> 01:20:57,173 No, no, no, no... please... please! 1382 01:20:58,366 --> 01:21:00,714 Take the Book in the right hand and read what it says on the card. 1383 01:21:00,749 --> 01:21:03,239 I swear by Almighty God to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth 1384 01:21:03,274 --> 01:21:07,305 so help me God... Sheila Wilcott, 21 Juniper Drive, Ealing, secretary to the Captain here. 1385 01:21:07,340 --> 01:21:09,226 I don't know what you think he's done but it's all a lie! 1386 01:21:11,055 --> 01:21:11,777 Quiet! 1387 01:21:12,834 --> 01:21:13,452 It's a lie. 1388 01:21:13,453 --> 01:21:17,742 Captain Russell admits throwing a brick through a shop window, Miss Wilcott. 1389 01:21:17,777 --> 01:21:21,092 Well then, he's suffering from strain and overwork. 1390 01:21:21,127 --> 01:21:22,047 I always said he would. 1391 01:21:22,082 --> 01:21:24,181 It's medical attention he needs, not this. 1392 01:21:24,216 --> 01:21:28,076 Just a minute, I understood he retired from the army 5 years ago 1393 01:21:28,111 --> 01:21:29,434 and has had no employment since. 1394 01:21:29,469 --> 01:21:32,507 That's because he's too retiring to talk about it. 1395 01:21:33,856 --> 01:21:37,878 Captain Russell is one of the most successful writers of the age. 1396 01:21:37,913 --> 01:21:39,486 Writers? What's he write? 1397 01:21:40,447 --> 01:21:41,119 Books! 1398 01:21:41,120 --> 01:21:42,082 Lots of them! 1399 01:21:43,966 --> 01:21:45,973 I read a good deal... I've never heard of him. 1400 01:21:46,008 --> 01:21:47,946 No, you wouldn't... not by Captain Russell. 1401 01:21:47,981 --> 01:21:53,525 But you've no doubt heard of Merton Somersby, Jeremy Sinclair... and Gloria Trubshaw! 1402 01:21:58,058 --> 01:21:59,139 Gloria Trubshaw?! 1403 01:21:59,174 --> 01:21:59,879 Who's she? 1404 01:22:00,751 --> 01:22:01,872 What's she got to do with it? 1405 01:22:02,817 --> 01:22:04,823 It's one of the captain's names, sir. 1406 01:22:04,858 --> 01:22:06,115 Alias, you say? 1407 01:22:06,913 --> 01:22:09,239 Here's "Bloody Justice" for you. 1408 01:22:10,765 --> 01:22:11,455 What's that?! 1409 01:22:11,490 --> 01:22:12,472 "Bloody Justice. " 1410 01:22:12,983 --> 01:22:13,757 Give it to me. 1411 01:22:15,540 --> 01:22:16,296 Thank you. 1412 01:22:17,291 --> 01:22:20,314 "Bloody Justice"? By Gloria Trubshaw... 1413 01:22:21,323 --> 01:22:23,335 Do you admit to writing this, Miss Trubshaw? 1414 01:22:23,985 --> 01:22:25,243 I mean Capt. Russell. 1415 01:22:31,685 --> 01:22:33,102 I thank you Miss Wilcott... 1416 01:22:33,137 --> 01:22:35,222 I admire your spirit in coming here. 1417 01:22:35,257 --> 01:22:41,211 But the fact that Capt. Russell has written... these things... does not alter the facts of the case. 1418 01:22:42,211 --> 01:22:45,244 Though my own private view is that this type of literature 1419 01:22:45,279 --> 01:22:47,329 encourages hooliganism and crime. 1420 01:22:47,364 --> 01:22:49,345 You're wrong! Just because... 1421 01:22:49,380 --> 01:22:51,374 Thank you Miss Wilcott, I'm much obliged. 1422 01:22:51,409 --> 01:22:52,632 But you don't understand! 1423 01:22:52,667 --> 01:22:53,779 I'm much obliged. 1424 01:23:00,506 --> 01:23:02,598 Don't take any notice of them. 1425 01:23:02,633 --> 01:23:04,684 I find the case proved... Anything previous? 1426 01:23:04,719 --> 01:23:06,701 No sir. He had an excellent record in the army. 1427 01:23:06,736 --> 01:23:09,420 It's a tragedy to see a man in your position standing in this court. 1428 01:23:09,455 --> 01:23:12,411 Had you shown the slightest desire to defend yourself... 1429 01:23:12,446 --> 01:23:14,928 I might have been able to take a different course. 1430 01:23:14,963 --> 01:23:17,411 However, I have no option but to send you to prison. 1431 01:23:17,858 --> 01:23:21,923 You may not realise it, but it's in my power to send you away for at least 3 months. 1432 01:23:24,279 --> 01:23:30,106 However I'm inclined to think that a total of 14 days in jail will probably be enough. 1433 01:23:30,778 --> 01:23:31,671 14 days? 1434 01:23:32,702 --> 01:23:33,867 Oh, but that's not enough. 1435 01:23:36,227 --> 01:23:37,424 Did you say something? 1436 01:23:38,278 --> 01:23:43,041 Yes... I said you were a pompous ass. 1437 01:23:44,033 --> 01:23:48,535 Very well... 14 days on the first charge and 7 on the second. 1438 01:23:49,345 --> 01:23:51,029 21 days in all! 1439 01:23:52,428 --> 01:23:53,265 That's still not enough. 1440 01:23:54,567 --> 01:23:57,068 "Pompous ass" I said... and "pompous ass" I meant. 1441 01:23:58,080 --> 01:24:01,933 You're not fit to conduct a bus, let alone a court of justice. 1442 01:24:01,968 --> 01:24:05,011 And a further 7 days for contempt of court. 1443 01:24:06,113 --> 01:24:10,596 With sentences to run consecutively. 28 days in all! 1444 01:24:11,353 --> 01:24:12,138 28 days! 1445 01:24:13,279 --> 01:24:16,029 Thank you, Sir Charles, very much. 1446 01:24:16,064 --> 01:24:17,455 I'm terribly sorry. 1447 01:24:18,691 --> 01:24:21,925 I suggest he's medically examined by the prison doctor. 1448 01:24:21,960 --> 01:24:25,159 No, no... no need for that Sir Charles, I assure you. 1449 01:24:25,194 --> 01:24:26,076 Take him away! 1450 01:24:26,805 --> 01:24:28,133 Take him away! 1451 01:24:35,387 --> 01:24:36,451 Elizabeth... 1452 01:24:36,486 --> 01:24:37,481 Yes, Deniston... 1453 01:24:37,516 --> 01:24:39,261 I want to give you this. 1454 01:24:41,859 --> 01:24:43,571 Oh, Elizabeth... 1455 01:24:43,606 --> 01:24:46,139 I have permission to see you, because there's something I want to say. 1456 01:24:46,578 --> 01:24:48,041 Please... please... listen, Elizabeth... 1457 01:24:51,929 --> 01:24:55,051 Or for that matter, what it would have cost if I hadn't been... 1458 01:24:55,086 --> 01:24:59,619 But I promise you, that in one month you'll understand the awful predicament I was in. 1459 01:24:59,654 --> 01:25:03,238 I have no wish to hear your excuses now or any other time. 1460 01:25:04,812 --> 01:25:09,034 Apart from behaving like a complete rotter to poor darling daddykins... 1461 01:25:09,069 --> 01:25:12,914 I couldn't possibly marry someone who's deceived me. 1462 01:25:14,057 --> 01:25:14,827 Deceived you? 1463 01:25:16,625 --> 01:25:18,390 Oh, but I haven't. 1464 01:25:18,425 --> 01:25:19,903 I mean about your profession. 1465 01:25:19,938 --> 01:25:24,601 I could never marry a man who earns his living in such a low way. 1466 01:25:25,061 --> 01:25:26,644 If I found one of my girls reading such rubbish... 1467 01:25:27,310 --> 01:25:28,916 I'd punish her! 1468 01:25:28,951 --> 01:25:30,523 It's trash! 1469 01:25:32,806 --> 01:25:35,369 Alright... trash it is... 1470 01:25:36,796 --> 01:25:39,177 But at least it doesn't pretend to be important. 1471 01:25:40,910 --> 01:25:43,468 Perhaps I'd be happier with someone who thinks that what I do is good. 1472 01:25:44,462 --> 01:25:45,716 Even if it isn't. 1473 01:25:57,423 --> 01:26:00,339 Alright constable... I've finished with him! 1474 01:26:00,374 --> 01:26:02,534 You can take him away. 1475 01:26:02,569 --> 01:26:04,694 Yessir... I mean ma'am. 1476 01:26:04,729 --> 01:26:06,499 Come along, then. 1477 01:26:21,346 --> 01:26:22,636 Keep your chin up! 1478 01:26:23,617 --> 01:26:24,638 It won't be long! 1479 01:26:24,673 --> 01:26:25,659 Of course it won't! 1480 01:26:26,506 --> 01:26:27,758 And then back to "Blood Lust"! 1481 01:26:27,793 --> 01:26:29,123 Yes! "Blood Lust"! 1482 01:26:29,158 --> 01:26:30,649 We'll finish it together! 1483 01:26:35,139 --> 01:26:36,371 What are you looking so happy about? 1484 01:26:36,724 --> 01:26:37,548 Oh, why not? 1485 01:26:39,194 --> 01:26:40,529 It's the happiest day of my life! 1486 01:26:41,496 --> 01:26:43,425 It's the happiest day of my life, Mrs Russell! 1487 01:26:48,881 --> 01:26:53,521 If I may say so, sir... it's an honour to be a witness on such a happy occasion. 1488 01:26:53,556 --> 01:26:55,980 Dear old Benson... you know I wouldn't have had any other witness. 1489 01:26:56,015 --> 01:26:57,353 You've no idea of the scrapes he's got me out of. 1490 01:26:57,388 --> 01:26:59,302 If it hadn't been for Benson, I wouldn't be with you now. 1491 01:26:59,337 --> 01:27:00,729 I can believe you, darling. 1492 01:27:00,764 --> 01:27:03,302 See you in a couple of weeks then... and thanks for everything. 1493 01:27:03,337 --> 01:27:04,718 And thank you for everything, too. 1494 01:27:07,920 --> 01:27:10,907 I wish you every happiness... Mrs Russell. 1495 01:27:10,942 --> 01:27:11,643 Thank you. 1496 01:27:17,361 --> 01:27:18,600 And have a jolly good time! 1497 01:27:18,635 --> 01:27:20,054 I hope! 1498 01:27:21,925 --> 01:27:23,263 Don't think me fussy old girl... 1499 01:27:23,298 --> 01:27:25,885 but I shouldn't make a habit of kissing Benson. 1500 01:27:25,920 --> 01:27:28,099 Why not, darling... he's my uncle. 1501 01:27:29,491 --> 01:27:30,558 What?! 1502 01:27:30,593 --> 01:27:31,837 Benson's your uncle?! 1503 01:27:31,872 --> 01:27:34,090 Yes, my mother's brother... didn't I tell you? 1504 01:27:34,125 --> 01:27:38,591 But you... cheating little fraud! 1505 01:27:38,626 --> 01:27:40,614 Oh, we both are, darling! 1506 01:27:40,649 --> 01:27:42,603 We're going to get on fine. 1507 01:27:48,398 --> 01:27:48,775 Oh, ma'am... 1508 01:27:48,776 --> 01:27:49,871 Yes? 1509 01:27:50,447 --> 01:27:51,503 I'm going out now Ethel. 1510 01:27:51,538 --> 01:27:53,232 Will you be back for dinner tonight, ma'am? 1511 01:27:53,267 --> 01:27:54,846 Yes, I'll be back. 1512 01:27:54,881 --> 01:27:56,448 I've nothing to celebrate. 1513 01:27:56,483 --> 01:27:58,196 Today I might have claimed a fortune. 1514 01:27:58,604 --> 01:27:59,411 But I can't. 1515 01:28:00,166 --> 01:28:01,180 Alright, Ethel... 1516 01:28:08,589 --> 01:28:10,320 What are YOU doing here? 1517 01:28:11,552 --> 01:28:15,961 I thought I'd just walk round and see you. 1518 01:28:16,840 --> 01:28:17,544 Why? 1519 01:28:17,579 --> 01:28:20,418 I wondered if maybe you'd be so kind as to come and have a meal with me. 1520 01:28:21,348 --> 01:28:22,032 Why? 1521 01:28:22,033 --> 01:28:23,690 Call it a Celtic conscience. 1522 01:28:24,109 --> 01:28:26,941 I know you sacrificed a lot to put my girl on her feet. 1523 01:28:26,976 --> 01:28:28,715 Yes... a fortune. 1524 01:28:28,750 --> 01:28:31,796 Though if you've any ideas about claiming that £1,000... 1525 01:28:31,831 --> 01:28:33,070 No... good gracious, no... 1526 01:28:33,105 --> 01:28:34,275 I've freights of money... 1527 01:28:34,310 --> 01:28:36,071 and nobody to spend it on but myself. 1528 01:28:37,256 --> 01:28:40,082 You know it's a gloomy discovery to make... but there's not a soul in the world 1529 01:28:40,117 --> 01:28:41,689 that wants to dine with me. 1530 01:28:42,430 --> 01:28:43,176 Won't you help me out? 1531 01:28:44,295 --> 01:28:45,295 Please. 1532 01:28:48,901 --> 01:28:50,548 Is there any reason why I should? 1533 01:28:51,671 --> 01:28:53,075 None whatsoever. 1534 01:28:54,849 --> 01:28:55,997 Ethel!... 1535 01:28:56,032 --> 01:28:57,423 I shan't be in to dinner tonight. 1536 01:28:58,141 --> 01:28:59,179 Thank you! 1537 01:29:04,173 --> 01:29:05,734 The deceased left a sealed letter 1538 01:29:05,769 --> 01:29:08,844 with instructions that it should not be opened or read 1539 01:29:08,879 --> 01:29:11,918 until you had all completed your tasks. 1540 01:29:11,953 --> 01:29:14,338 I will now proceed to read it. 1541 01:29:15,976 --> 01:29:19,106 I trust that you've all gained something from the tasks I set you... 1542 01:29:19,141 --> 01:29:22,470 apart from the material consideration involved... 1543 01:29:22,505 --> 01:29:25,538 I have always been a practical joker... 1544 01:29:25,573 --> 01:29:29,547 but practically all my jokes have had some practical intent... 1545 01:29:29,582 --> 01:29:31,971 What a complicated sentence! 1546 01:29:32,704 --> 01:29:37,804 As the one who failed, I'd like to say at once how deeply grateful I am to my brother 1547 01:29:37,839 --> 01:29:42,248 for giving me a measure of happiness I never dreamt of finding in this world. 1548 01:29:42,283 --> 01:29:44,729 Well now, cousin Agnes, I'd like to second that. 1549 01:29:45,753 --> 01:29:49,279 True, I win my fortune, but I also benefitted enormously. 1550 01:29:49,314 --> 01:29:51,786 In other ways. 1551 01:29:51,821 --> 01:29:54,664 Here! Here!... I feel a new man too! 1552 01:29:54,699 --> 01:29:57,472 Well, jolly good luck to you all. 1553 01:29:57,507 --> 01:30:00,380 But I don't mind saying that the cash is my one consolation. 1554 01:30:00,415 --> 01:30:04,222 And knowing my dear wife... well that's not going to last very long. 1555 01:30:04,257 --> 01:30:06,095 If I might be able to continue, please. 1556 01:30:06,701 --> 01:30:09,868 I sincerely hope that you've all gained a little something 1557 01:30:09,903 --> 01:30:12,061 for now comes the biggest joke of all... 1558 01:30:12,935 --> 01:30:15,506 I died, flat b... 1559 01:30:17,709 --> 01:30:19,926 Flat... 1560 01:30:19,961 --> 01:30:21,045 Not... broke?! 1561 01:30:21,080 --> 01:30:23,792 Broke... that's it... flat broke! 1562 01:30:23,827 --> 01:30:26,504 There isn't a penny for any of you. 1563 01:31:14,093 --> 01:31:15,431 Good. 111342

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