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Here, in this mansion in a quiet London square,
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a man lies dying.
3
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And as he dies, the world remembers
the feats which made him famous.
4
00:01:34,142 --> 00:01:39,919
The outrageous pranks, which time and again
shook officialdom to its very foundations.
5
00:01:39,954 --> 00:01:45,636
Yes, Henry Augustus Russell
will soon be joining the great majority.
6
00:01:45,979 --> 00:01:51,686
It's hard to believe that this frail ghostlike figure
was once the greatest practical joker of modern times.
7
00:01:53,890 --> 00:01:57,903
The dusky eastern potentate
who so nearly purchased The Albert Hall.
8
00:01:57,938 --> 00:02:01,142
The bronzed red-indian chief,
feted for swimming the Channel...
9
00:02:01,177 --> 00:02:03,039
complete with feathered headdress
and tomahawk.
10
00:02:03,562 --> 00:02:09,144
Goodbye Henry Russell...
your last practical joke is done.
11
00:02:10,877 --> 00:02:12,372
Or is it?
12
00:02:27,118 --> 00:02:28,853
Telegram...
13
00:02:29,130 --> 00:02:30,761
For Miss Agnes Russell.
14
00:02:30,796 --> 00:02:32,415
Thank you.
15
00:02:32,590 --> 00:02:35,889
Oh... will you please wait here.
16
00:02:44,428 --> 00:02:45,860
Come in!
17
00:02:46,928 --> 00:02:49,346
Excuse me ma'am... there's a telegram.
18
00:02:49,381 --> 00:02:51,890
That's no excuse coming in here
looking like a chimneysweep...
19
00:02:51,925 --> 00:02:53,416
Go and put your apron on at once!
20
00:02:53,451 --> 00:02:54,769
Yes ma'am.
21
00:02:56,089 --> 00:02:58,082
But the boy's waiting for a reply.
22
00:02:58,117 --> 00:03:00,665
Well, let him wait...
that's what he's paid for.
23
00:03:18,225 --> 00:03:19,334
It's dusty.
24
00:03:19,369 --> 00:03:21,636
Ethel... you see this photograph...
25
00:03:22,478 --> 00:03:23,446
Yes, ma'am...
26
00:03:24,665 --> 00:03:26,447
Well, don't stand there... come here!
27
00:03:30,682 --> 00:03:32,479
My brother... he died this morning.
28
00:03:32,514 --> 00:03:34,295
Oh, I am sorry, ma'am...
29
00:03:34,330 --> 00:03:35,918
This photograph is smothered with dust!
30
00:03:36,923 --> 00:03:39,306
But if I'd known the poor gentleman
had passed away...
31
00:03:39,367 --> 00:03:43,027
It should not be necessary for people to die
in order to have their photograph dusted.
32
00:03:43,062 --> 00:03:44,688
No, ma'am.
33
00:03:46,691 --> 00:03:48,806
I'm ever so sorry about your bad news, ma'am.
34
00:03:48,841 --> 00:03:49,674
You have reason to be.
35
00:03:50,122 --> 00:03:53,585
For I shall now be able to afford some servants
who know their duty.
36
00:03:53,620 --> 00:03:55,477
You can take a fortnight's notice from today.
37
00:03:56,546 --> 00:03:58,018
Now go!
38
00:04:05,059 --> 00:04:06,719
Mr Russell, it's useless arguing.
39
00:04:06,754 --> 00:04:10,360
If every bank clerk in every bank in England
was half a crown short in his calculations every week...
40
00:04:10,395 --> 00:04:12,610
Do you know how much that would cost?
41
00:04:22,796 --> 00:04:24,432
If you like to let me have
pencil and paper sir...
42
00:04:24,467 --> 00:04:26,425
I'll work it out for you
if you really want to know.
43
00:04:26,460 --> 00:04:29,487
I don't want to know...
I want you to think about it!
44
00:04:29,522 --> 00:04:32,514
Oh, yes sir...
It's a very disturbing thought sir.
45
00:04:33,863 --> 00:04:35,434
But sometimes sir, it isn't easy.
46
00:04:35,469 --> 00:04:37,970
If it was easy, Mr Russell, there'd be
no need for bank clerks.
47
00:04:38,005 --> 00:04:39,742
Yes... no, sir.
48
00:04:40,277 --> 00:04:41,288
Come in!
49
00:04:41,323 --> 00:04:42,644
Sorry to disturb you, sir...
50
00:04:43,306 --> 00:04:45,840
There's a person in the bank
asking for Mr Russell.
51
00:04:45,875 --> 00:04:47,445
Let one of the other clerks
deal with him.
52
00:04:47,480 --> 00:04:50,666
It's a personal visit, sir... a lady...
a Mrs Goodwin.
53
00:04:50,701 --> 00:04:53,980
Oh?... Who might this lady be?
54
00:04:54,015 --> 00:04:55,932
No sir, she's no lady...
she's my landlady.
55
00:04:57,214 --> 00:04:59,430
The bank, Mr Russell, is no place
for music-hall repartee...
56
00:04:59,465 --> 00:05:00,521
Get rid of her at once.
57
00:05:01,270 --> 00:05:02,264
Yessir.
58
00:05:10,084 --> 00:05:12,021
I'm sorry to worry you like this sir,
but she was most...
59
00:05:12,056 --> 00:05:13,881
Wipe that syncopatic smile off your face!
60
00:05:17,301 --> 00:05:18,195
Hello, Mrs Goodwin.
61
00:05:18,230 --> 00:05:20,688
Oh, Mr Russell... I thought I'd better pop in.
62
00:05:20,723 --> 00:05:23,840
Just after you left, a telegraphic communication
arrived for you.
63
00:05:23,875 --> 00:05:26,393
And I thought it might be urgent.
64
00:05:27,174 --> 00:05:28,445
I didn't open it, of course...
65
00:05:28,480 --> 00:05:30,044
So I don't know what
there may be in it.
66
00:05:30,079 --> 00:05:34,586
But I think you should be prepared
for some rather sad news.
67
00:05:37,026 --> 00:05:39,901
Oh, Mr Russell... was he very dear to you?
68
00:05:39,936 --> 00:05:42,775
Pray accept my heartiest condolences!
69
00:05:44,217 --> 00:05:46,630
Thank you Mrs Goodwin... thank you!
70
00:05:46,665 --> 00:05:49,115
Not at all, I'm sure.
71
00:05:49,150 --> 00:05:51,565
Well... see you at supper.
72
00:05:51,600 --> 00:05:52,786
Yes.
73
00:06:00,917 --> 00:06:02,349
Not bad news, I hope...?
74
00:06:03,045 --> 00:06:04,598
Yes, in a way it was, yes.
75
00:06:04,633 --> 00:06:07,382
A distant cousin of mine has just died.
76
00:06:07,417 --> 00:06:10,739
Henry Russell... you've probably read about him.
77
00:06:12,094 --> 00:06:16,123
He was always telling me that I lacked 'push'.
78
00:06:16,158 --> 00:06:17,968
Yes, 'push' I think it was.
79
00:06:18,003 --> 00:06:22,356
Nonsense... why don't you go and ask
Mr Wagstaffe for the afternoon off?
80
00:06:22,391 --> 00:06:24,072
Everyone does on these occasions.
81
00:06:24,107 --> 00:06:25,520
Oh, no... I couldn't!
82
00:06:26,195 --> 00:06:29,118
Go on!... Show you've got some push.
83
00:06:31,267 --> 00:06:32,330
Go on!
84
00:06:32,802 --> 00:06:34,514
Yes... why not?!
85
00:06:36,015 --> 00:06:39,251
Yes... I jolly well will!
86
00:07:01,959 --> 00:07:03,282
Come in!
87
00:07:18,665 --> 00:07:19,799
Yes?!
88
00:07:22,652 --> 00:07:24,362
I...
89
00:07:25,451 --> 00:07:26,746
Well?
90
00:07:27,530 --> 00:07:30,979
A distant cousin of mine
has just died, sir...
91
00:07:31,014 --> 00:07:32,214
How distant?
92
00:07:34,709 --> 00:07:35,766
A long way off, sir.
93
00:07:35,801 --> 00:07:36,823
What about it, then?
94
00:07:37,783 --> 00:07:40,349
Well, it seems I'm a beneficiary
under his will, sir.
95
00:07:40,384 --> 00:07:43,548
Just because you've come into a few pounds,
doesn't mean you can behave like a millionaire!
96
00:07:43,583 --> 00:07:45,769
You'll be asking for the afternoon off, next!
97
00:07:49,639 --> 00:07:50,465
Oh, no sir.
98
00:07:51,914 --> 00:07:53,193
Oh, no.
99
00:07:57,901 --> 00:07:59,069
No.
100
00:08:06,212 --> 00:08:07,686
I'll raise you a fiver.
101
00:08:09,448 --> 00:08:10,494
Your 5...
102
00:08:11,999 --> 00:08:13,324
...and 10 more, Russell.
103
00:08:14,200 --> 00:08:15,197
Tenner, eh?...
104
00:08:16,197 --> 00:08:16,986
I'll see you.
105
00:08:19,198 --> 00:08:20,082
Fours...
106
00:08:24,099 --> 00:08:25,010
Fours?
107
00:08:25,649 --> 00:08:26,707
How high?
108
00:08:27,981 --> 00:08:29,409
4 kings.
109
00:08:29,444 --> 00:08:31,636
If you beat that, I'll eat my cigar.
110
00:08:34,438 --> 00:08:37,271
Better start eating, old son... 4 aces!
111
00:08:37,306 --> 00:08:40,070
- Telegram sir...
- Open it, Benson.
112
00:08:40,105 --> 00:08:42,639
Bad luck, old boy... but I did have
the decency not to raise you.
113
00:08:42,674 --> 00:08:44,563
Very kind of you Simon, I'm sure.
114
00:08:44,598 --> 00:08:46,968
Well, I hate fleecing a pal in my own flat.
115
00:08:51,232 --> 00:08:52,002
What?...
116
00:08:53,897 --> 00:08:55,269
Fantastic!
117
00:08:58,038 --> 00:08:59,390
Well... you'll have to carry on
without me...
118
00:08:59,425 --> 00:09:01,533
So make yourselves at home...
there's plenty of whisky...
119
00:09:03,240 --> 00:09:04,593
Well, I like that!
120
00:09:04,684 --> 00:09:06,172
You would pardon Mr Russell, sir...
121
00:09:06,207 --> 00:09:08,239
He's had some very sad news.
122
00:09:08,274 --> 00:09:10,272
My heart bleeds for him.
123
00:09:12,747 --> 00:09:14,575
Hello... Mr Endicott?
124
00:09:14,610 --> 00:09:16,674
Simon Russell here... I just got your wire.
125
00:09:16,709 --> 00:09:17,466
Is it true?
126
00:09:18,143 --> 00:09:19,014
Splendid!...
127
00:09:19,049 --> 00:09:22,784
Yes, I thought it might have been another
of those infernal practical jokes of his.
128
00:09:23,569 --> 00:09:25,110
See you on Wednesday at the celebration.
129
00:09:25,840 --> 00:09:27,852
No... of course... I mean the funeral...
I'm sorry!
130
00:09:28,752 --> 00:09:30,702
I'm happy as a lark!
131
00:09:30,737 --> 00:09:32,659
Benson... my dinner jacket...
I'm celebrating tonight.
132
00:09:32,694 --> 00:09:35,553
Now look here... get on to Christine...
and tell her... no... she drinks too much...
133
00:09:35,588 --> 00:09:37,936
Call Zena, and tell her
to meet me at The Garter...
134
00:09:37,971 --> 00:09:39,490
She's always a certainty.
135
00:09:42,050 --> 00:09:42,899
Are you ready Miss Wilcott?
136
00:09:42,934 --> 00:09:44,543
- Yes.
- Good.
137
00:09:45,194 --> 00:09:46,807
"Blood Lust"...
138
00:09:46,842 --> 00:09:48,740
A novel by Jeremy Sinclair
139
00:09:48,775 --> 00:09:51,103
Chapter I... entitled "Sweet Meeting"
140
00:09:51,138 --> 00:09:52,249
Paragraph
141
00:09:52,284 --> 00:09:56,447
I walked into the room and there stood Petal...
142
00:09:57,246 --> 00:10:00,823
her silken hair languorously
caressing one fair cheek...
143
00:10:00,858 --> 00:10:04,330
her lips, red and inviting...
144
00:10:05,178 --> 00:10:08,446
I walked over to her and slugged her
on the mouth...
145
00:10:10,796 --> 00:10:13,767
No... no... change that, Miss Wilcott... to...
146
00:10:13,802 --> 00:10:14,714
slugged her in the kisser...
147
00:10:16,190 --> 00:10:17,221
Kisser!
148
00:10:19,751 --> 00:10:23,074
Before going down, she threw me a single glance...
149
00:10:23,109 --> 00:10:26,810
of searing hate suffused with scorn...
150
00:10:27,877 --> 00:10:30,326
She was certainly a swell tomato!
151
00:10:31,536 --> 00:10:35,729
That's a beautiful beginning, Capt. Russell...
It really is!
152
00:10:35,764 --> 00:10:38,748
I'm afraid it's all rather disgusting really,
153
00:10:38,783 --> 00:10:41,732
but... well, they seem to like the American touch.
154
00:10:44,351 --> 00:10:46,703
Well.. um... proceed...
155
00:10:46,738 --> 00:10:50,076
I leaned over her as she lay on the floor...
156
00:10:50,842 --> 00:10:53,044
her green eyes half closed...
157
00:10:53,079 --> 00:10:57,730
her bruised lips curled
in a slightly contemptuous smile.
158
00:10:58,912 --> 00:11:01,744
"Petal", I whispered, "I love you, I love you. "
159
00:11:04,943 --> 00:11:05,892
I love you.
160
00:11:09,053 --> 00:11:11,202
- Three "I love you"s?
- That's right.
161
00:11:11,237 --> 00:11:13,430
Then 4 dots and 4 X's...
162
00:11:16,368 --> 00:11:17,939
Bother!
163
00:11:17,974 --> 00:11:20,809
Capt. Deniston Russell's secretary.
164
00:11:21,458 --> 00:11:22,831
Who wants him, please?
165
00:11:25,208 --> 00:11:26,145
Oh... just a moment...
166
00:11:27,217 --> 00:11:28,462
Your fiancée...
167
00:11:35,864 --> 00:11:37,569
Hello dear...
168
00:11:37,604 --> 00:11:40,017
Yes, yes... I said I'd phone you at 6.
169
00:11:41,308 --> 00:11:44,344
Well it's only 2 minutes past, you know.
170
00:11:46,109 --> 00:11:47,343
Sorry, dear...
171
00:11:49,059 --> 00:11:52,551
Just dictating letters...
paying bills, you know...
172
00:11:53,203 --> 00:11:54,051
Yes, dear...
173
00:11:55,423 --> 00:11:56,793
Oh dear, really, dear!
174
00:11:57,826 --> 00:11:59,137
Goodbye, dear!
175
00:12:01,619 --> 00:12:03,673
Well now... where were we?
176
00:12:04,607 --> 00:12:08,767
dot-dot-dot and 4 X's
177
00:12:08,802 --> 00:12:09,582
Oh yes...
178
00:12:09,617 --> 00:12:13,672
A convulsive tremor shook her slender frame...
179
00:12:13,707 --> 00:12:15,509
and Petal moaned...
180
00:12:16,819 --> 00:12:18,421
Miss Wilcott?
181
00:12:18,456 --> 00:12:20,023
Petal moaned.
182
00:12:20,976 --> 00:12:23,898
I know it's none of my business,
but I think you ought to tell her.
183
00:12:23,933 --> 00:12:25,629
Tell who... what?
184
00:12:25,664 --> 00:12:28,789
Your fiancée... about your being a writer.
185
00:12:29,489 --> 00:12:31,200
If you're getting married in a fortnight...
186
00:12:31,693 --> 00:12:33,084
But I couldn't do that...
187
00:12:33,119 --> 00:12:34,548
Oh dear... good gracious no...
188
00:12:34,583 --> 00:12:35,943
Oh, she'd never approve...
189
00:12:35,978 --> 00:12:38,841
I mean it's not as if I were a... Bernard Shaw...
190
00:12:38,876 --> 00:12:41,020
Oh, but she'd be proud of you!
191
00:12:41,055 --> 00:12:43,470
Not many people can get
a book published at all...
192
00:12:43,505 --> 00:12:45,429
And look at you... scores of them!
193
00:12:45,464 --> 00:12:47,873
And under 15 different names!
194
00:12:47,908 --> 00:12:52,098
Yes, well I'm afraid Elizabeth doesn't
consider this sort of thing... art.
195
00:12:52,738 --> 00:12:54,682
Well, if you ask me, I think she's a...
196
00:12:54,717 --> 00:12:56,627
But I didn't ask you, Miss Wilcott!
197
00:12:58,304 --> 00:13:00,448
Now, shall we proceed?
198
00:13:04,249 --> 00:13:06,912
A convulsive tremor shook her slender frame...
199
00:13:06,947 --> 00:13:08,897
...and Petal moaned...
200
00:13:09,888 --> 00:13:11,114
Petal moaned...
201
00:13:11,149 --> 00:13:12,924
Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear...
202
00:13:12,959 --> 00:13:14,699
Hello, Deniston Russel here.
203
00:13:15,289 --> 00:13:16,435
What... a telegram?
204
00:13:16,470 --> 00:13:17,817
Yes, yes... I'll take it.
205
00:13:21,527 --> 00:13:22,656
Just a moment...
206
00:13:24,872 --> 00:13:25,859
Yes...
207
00:13:29,326 --> 00:13:30,343
Thank you... thank you very much.
208
00:13:35,328 --> 00:13:36,059
Well, well, well!
209
00:13:38,007 --> 00:13:39,162
Cousin Henry's dead...
210
00:13:39,197 --> 00:13:40,330
Murdered?!
211
00:13:40,365 --> 00:13:43,469
No, no, no, no... very peaceful.
212
00:13:43,504 --> 00:13:45,680
Henry... he seems to have left me
a lot of money.
213
00:13:45,715 --> 00:13:47,192
What?... good!
214
00:13:47,227 --> 00:13:50,772
Good?... No... I was very fond of cousin Henry.
215
00:13:51,529 --> 00:13:52,906
He was a remarkable man.
216
00:13:52,941 --> 00:13:54,628
He was rich... he was very rich...
217
00:13:55,334 --> 00:13:58,116
Well at least this ought to put an end to my
having to write this sort of stuff.
218
00:13:59,144 --> 00:14:00,908
Goodbye to "Blood Lust"!
219
00:14:01,234 --> 00:14:04,601
Goodbye to Mervyn Somesby
and Jeremy St Clair!
220
00:14:05,671 --> 00:14:07,227
And Gloria Trabshaw!
221
00:14:07,262 --> 00:14:12,774
Capt. Russell!... You wouldn't give up writing
just because you got a bit of money!?
222
00:14:12,809 --> 00:14:14,659
Well, it would be a crime... you couldn't!
223
00:14:14,694 --> 00:14:17,187
No, no... of course not, Miss Wilcott...
but don't you see now...
224
00:14:17,222 --> 00:14:19,561
Now I can afford to write
under my own name
225
00:14:19,596 --> 00:14:22,655
But good books... great books!
226
00:14:22,690 --> 00:14:25,714
Yes... books that will live.
227
00:14:29,509 --> 00:14:32,334
As you all know, our old friend Henry
228
00:14:32,369 --> 00:14:37,554
scorned the use of a solicitor
in drawing up of his last will and testament...
229
00:14:38,589 --> 00:14:44,236
So he called upon me, his oldest
and dearest friend, to help him.
230
00:14:45,271 --> 00:14:47,472
It was a melancholy occasion.
231
00:14:47,507 --> 00:14:50,226
- Because he knew that his...
- End...
232
00:14:50,261 --> 00:14:51,365
Thank you.
233
00:14:52,620 --> 00:14:54,657
He knew that his end was near.
234
00:14:55,344 --> 00:14:58,781
With your permission,
I'll omit the preliminaries...
235
00:14:58,816 --> 00:15:01,962
and merely read the essential...
- points.
236
00:15:01,997 --> 00:15:03,085
Items.
237
00:15:03,120 --> 00:15:05,234
Good idea... let's hear how much we get.
238
00:15:05,847 --> 00:15:10,315
To each of you he has left the sum of £50,000.
239
00:15:14,036 --> 00:15:15,877
But before you become
entitled to this money,
240
00:15:15,912 --> 00:15:19,203
there are certain tasks
of a somewhat unusual nature
241
00:15:19,238 --> 00:15:21,193
which must be carried out
by each of you.
242
00:15:21,228 --> 00:15:22,388
I might have known it.
243
00:15:22,423 --> 00:15:24,773
These tasks must be carried out
to the letter.
244
00:15:24,808 --> 00:15:29,443
And may not be divulged, under any circumstances,
to anybody outside this room.
245
00:15:29,478 --> 00:15:32,403
And each of you must take a solemn oath
to that effect.
246
00:15:32,438 --> 00:15:35,525
Well, what are these ridiculous provisions?
247
00:15:35,560 --> 00:15:37,472
I will now proceed to read them.
248
00:15:38,484 --> 00:15:40,456
My sister, Agnes Russell...
249
00:15:40,491 --> 00:15:45,598
who for many years has made life a purgatory
for those who she considers her inferiors...
250
00:15:45,633 --> 00:15:49,496
shall, for a period of not less
than one calendar month...
251
00:15:49,531 --> 00:15:51,666
and within one week
of the reading of this will...
252
00:15:51,701 --> 00:15:55,660
obtain a post as a domestic servant
in a middle class home.
253
00:15:57,168 --> 00:15:58,818
How dare he!
254
00:16:01,488 --> 00:16:05,552
Should she for any reason whatsoever
be dismissed, or resign from this post...
255
00:16:05,587 --> 00:16:07,042
before the end of this month
256
00:16:07,077 --> 00:16:09,688
she shall forfeit her share in my fortune.
257
00:16:12,428 --> 00:16:13,640
I shall contest the will!
258
00:16:13,675 --> 00:16:16,808
I forgot to add, that if any one of you
contests the will...
259
00:16:16,843 --> 00:16:19,647
the whole fortune for all of you
will be forfeited.
260
00:16:19,682 --> 00:16:22,416
In that case, cousin Agnes
will not contest the will.
261
00:16:22,451 --> 00:16:27,636
My second cousin, Capt. Deniston Russel
Royal Army Pay Corps, Retired...
262
00:16:27,671 --> 00:16:30,364
whose hideous secret
I must now reveal to you...
263
00:16:30,399 --> 00:16:34,749
has become a writer of penny-dreadfuls
in the worst possible taste and style.
264
00:16:36,020 --> 00:16:37,291
How on earth did he find out?
265
00:16:37,326 --> 00:16:39,315
You... a writer?!
266
00:16:39,350 --> 00:16:41,638
And in the worst possible taste, too!
267
00:16:42,742 --> 00:16:43,729
Are they a bit...?
268
00:16:44,658 --> 00:16:45,674
Certainly not!
269
00:16:45,709 --> 00:16:49,592
The gallant captain shall spend not less
and not more than 28 days...
270
00:16:49,627 --> 00:16:51,936
in one of His Majesty's London prisons...
271
00:16:52,881 --> 00:16:55,539
having been properly sentenced
for a genuine crime...
272
00:16:55,574 --> 00:16:59,215
committed by himself within one week
of the reading of this will.
273
00:17:00,350 --> 00:17:04,508
Should he fail in this endeavour,
he shall forfeit his share of my fortune.
274
00:17:05,833 --> 00:17:06,910
Crime!?
275
00:17:08,038 --> 00:17:09,221
Prison?
276
00:17:09,256 --> 00:17:12,064
Oh, but I'm to be married in a fortnight.
277
00:17:12,801 --> 00:17:14,395
And to the daughter of a magistrate.
278
00:17:14,430 --> 00:17:15,990
Now, perhaps you'll marry her in prison!
279
00:17:18,708 --> 00:17:21,609
My fourth cousin twice removed, Herbert Russell,
280
00:17:21,644 --> 00:17:26,543
who has surely failed in the banking world
owing to his determination to be bullied...
281
00:17:26,578 --> 00:17:29,643
shall with the aid of a mask and a toy pistol...
282
00:17:29,678 --> 00:17:33,123
hold up his current bank manager in his own office...
283
00:17:33,158 --> 00:17:36,620
in the manner of one of his cousin
Deniston's fictional gangsters.
284
00:17:37,364 --> 00:17:39,851
And will force him to hand over
the keys of the bank
285
00:17:39,886 --> 00:17:44,259
Should he fail, or be unmasked or overpowered
before 2 minutes are up...
286
00:17:44,294 --> 00:17:47,044
his share of the fortune will be forfeited.
287
00:17:47,079 --> 00:17:49,575
But... how could I?
288
00:17:50,543 --> 00:17:52,238
How could he...?
289
00:17:54,143 --> 00:17:55,400
It's impossible.
290
00:17:55,435 --> 00:17:58,871
Not even a real gangster would dare
to point a gun at Mr Wagstaffe.
291
00:17:58,906 --> 00:18:01,665
Or point anything at Mr Wagstaffe.
292
00:18:02,936 --> 00:18:04,857
My first cousin, Simon Russell...
293
00:18:05,613 --> 00:18:08,701
who has gone through life at the expense
of others' hearts and pockets...
294
00:18:08,736 --> 00:18:13,548
shall marry the first unmarried woman
to whom he speaks after the reading of this will...
295
00:18:13,583 --> 00:18:15,430
of no matter what age.
296
00:18:18,241 --> 00:18:21,912
Should his well-known charm fail
to persuade the lady to marry him...
297
00:18:21,947 --> 00:18:24,541
his share of my fortune shall be forfeited.
298
00:18:26,116 --> 00:18:26,859
Easy!
299
00:18:27,383 --> 00:18:29,156
I always knew he liked me best!
300
00:18:30,032 --> 00:18:30,861
Thanks, cousin Henry!
301
00:18:30,896 --> 00:18:34,090
Listen... we'll all plan together
and contest the will.
302
00:18:36,561 --> 00:18:39,969
You can tell cousin Agnes that she's
the last woman I shall speak to first.
303
00:18:40,004 --> 00:18:41,784
What's he grumbling about anyway?
304
00:18:41,819 --> 00:18:44,980
Nobody in their right mind would sack a servant,
with the present shortage.
305
00:18:45,015 --> 00:18:48,002
After all, 50,000 quid is 50,000 quid!
306
00:18:48,452 --> 00:18:51,262
Before we come to the taking
of the solemn oath...
307
00:18:51,297 --> 00:18:54,073
there is one small formality
to be carried out.
308
00:18:54,108 --> 00:18:57,386
We must all rise... rise!
309
00:18:59,532 --> 00:19:00,767
ALL rise!
310
00:19:00,788 --> 00:19:02,190
Come along... upsadaisy!
311
00:19:02,445 --> 00:19:03,366
This way...
312
00:19:07,395 --> 00:19:10,562
And drink a toast to our
beloved benefactor.
313
00:19:10,597 --> 00:19:15,659
By singing a verse of that popular melody
"For He's a Jolly Good... "
314
00:19:16,428 --> 00:19:18,069
- "Fella"?
- Exactly.
315
00:19:19,265 --> 00:19:20,744
Here's to our benefactor...
316
00:19:22,055 --> 00:19:23,343
Raise your glasses!
317
00:19:24,265 --> 00:19:25,574
Raise your glasses!
318
00:19:26,891 --> 00:19:28,072
And sing with me
319
00:19:29,550 --> 00:19:36,549
For he's a jolly good fellow
320
00:19:39,584 --> 00:19:45,306
And so say all of us
321
00:19:47,341 --> 00:19:53,304
For he's a jolly good fellow
322
00:19:56,108 --> 00:19:57,980
And so say all of us.
323
00:19:58,015 --> 00:20:01,072
Now drink to our dear departed.
324
00:20:06,408 --> 00:20:09,768
Ask cousin Agnes if I can give her a lift
to the nearest employment exchange.
325
00:20:09,803 --> 00:20:10,881
No?
326
00:20:13,265 --> 00:20:13,989
How about you, Herbert
327
00:20:13,990 --> 00:20:15,516
Can I drop you at the gunsmith?
328
00:20:16,212 --> 00:20:17,120
What for?
329
00:20:17,155 --> 00:20:19,367
You can't hold up a bank
with a fountain pen.
330
00:20:19,402 --> 00:20:21,580
I know... I'm going to get that
at a toy shop.
331
00:20:22,025 --> 00:20:23,932
That's the least of my worries.
332
00:20:24,257 --> 00:20:27,032
It's where I'm going to find the courage
that's puzzling me.
333
00:20:27,067 --> 00:20:30,505
Look, Herbert... there's a little work of mine
called "The Bank Bandit"...
334
00:20:30,979 --> 00:20:32,651
It might give you a few pointers...
335
00:20:32,686 --> 00:20:34,433
I'll be glad to put in the post for you.
336
00:20:34,468 --> 00:20:35,828
Oh, thank you!
337
00:20:35,863 --> 00:20:36,984
Well, hop in both of you!
338
00:20:37,019 --> 00:20:39,128
No... I think I'll get my bus at the corner.
339
00:20:39,163 --> 00:20:41,911
Goodbye.
340
00:20:41,946 --> 00:20:44,201
Come on, Den old boy...
I'll buy you a snifter.
341
00:20:45,711 --> 00:20:49,081
How on earth do you afford
a vehicle like this?
342
00:20:49,116 --> 00:20:51,066
I don't. old boy...
got it on appro.
343
00:20:51,101 --> 00:20:53,842
You keep it a week, then send it back...
say you don't want it.
344
00:20:54,144 --> 00:20:55,640
Give you the address,
if you want to try.
345
00:20:59,924 --> 00:21:01,502
Two more large whiskies, please George.
346
00:21:03,285 --> 00:21:05,901
Cheer up old boy...
It's only a matter of time!
347
00:21:08,652 --> 00:21:10,848
Everything seemed so rosy this morning.
348
00:21:11,582 --> 00:21:14,196
The hope of money to come...
marriage in a fortnight.
349
00:21:14,231 --> 00:21:16,704
And now, instead of
a honeymoon in Harrogate...
350
00:21:16,739 --> 00:21:18,691
Prison in Pentonville.
351
00:21:19,854 --> 00:21:21,998
I fear I shall lose my Elizabeth.
352
00:21:22,033 --> 00:21:24,842
Nonsense!... She'll stand by you
if she's a good scout.
353
00:21:26,739 --> 00:21:29,078
Elizabeth is an officer and a lady.
354
00:21:29,549 --> 00:21:31,532
Well just tell her
it's worth 50,000 smackers
355
00:21:31,567 --> 00:21:33,398
and I'm sure she'll be delighted
with the whole affair.
356
00:21:34,142 --> 00:21:37,377
I would remind you Russell that we have
both taken a most solemn oath
357
00:21:37,412 --> 00:21:39,789
not to divulge the contents of the will.
358
00:21:40,516 --> 00:21:41,683
Yes, so we have.
359
00:21:41,718 --> 00:21:45,407
Look here... if she does kip with a bird...
what about palming her off on me?
360
00:21:46,830 --> 00:21:47,978
Certainly not.
361
00:21:49,124 --> 00:21:50,474
What a disgusting suggestion!
362
00:21:51,206 --> 00:21:52,471
To marry, I mean.
363
00:21:55,494 --> 00:21:56,753
Here's your next order.
364
00:21:58,446 --> 00:22:00,577
Remarkable thing... I've come out
without my wallet.
365
00:22:00,612 --> 00:22:01,952
Lend me a fiver, old boy.
366
00:22:05,315 --> 00:22:06,400
Thanks.
367
00:22:06,435 --> 00:22:08,914
Better make it a tenner...
easier to remember.
368
00:22:10,072 --> 00:22:11,510
What on earth's that?
369
00:22:13,036 --> 00:22:14,611
That is Elizabeth.
370
00:22:14,770 --> 00:22:15,998
You're dead right old boy...
371
00:22:16,664 --> 00:22:17,988
Not my cup of tea at all!
372
00:22:18,547 --> 00:22:19,737
I should hope not.
373
00:22:19,863 --> 00:22:21,331
Look, I must telephone her now...
374
00:22:21,696 --> 00:22:22,778
Box is over there.
375
00:22:22,813 --> 00:22:23,860
Oh, thank you.
376
00:22:24,323 --> 00:22:25,469
With all this on my mind...
377
00:22:25,872 --> 00:22:27,630
I just cannot face her tonight.
378
00:22:29,118 --> 00:22:30,694
Couldn't face her any night.
379
00:22:32,365 --> 00:22:33,861
Hello!
380
00:22:34,768 --> 00:22:36,322
You want some ciggies?
381
00:22:36,357 --> 00:22:39,119
No sweetie, I'm afraid you? from now on.
382
00:22:39,413 --> 00:22:41,120
What about a date later on this evening?
383
00:22:41,155 --> 00:22:42,126
I feel like celebrating.
384
00:22:42,161 --> 00:22:46,937
Look... I don't want that old goat
in the telephone box to see us talking.
385
00:22:46,972 --> 00:22:47,813
Why?
386
00:22:47,848 --> 00:22:48,824
Well, don't think me mad...
387
00:22:48,859 --> 00:22:51,281
But just for the moment, I'm not allowed
to talk to women.
388
00:22:52,106 --> 00:22:53,818
Don't I count as a woman?
389
00:22:53,853 --> 00:22:57,289
You see dear, something has occurred.
390
00:22:57,324 --> 00:22:59,010
But... you promised to take me out tonight...
391
00:22:59,045 --> 00:23:01,086
...and I've had a bath... specially!
392
00:23:02,138 --> 00:23:05,382
I've got some splendid news for you
about my wedding leave.
393
00:23:05,417 --> 00:23:07,865
Commandant Borthwaite's given me 28 days!
394
00:23:08,662 --> 00:23:09,765
28!
395
00:23:09,800 --> 00:23:11,167
28 days?!
396
00:23:13,633 --> 00:23:15,465
Oh dear... I know...
397
00:23:16,707 --> 00:23:18,943
Yes dear, of course... of course...
It could be splendid.
398
00:23:18,978 --> 00:23:19,784
But you see...
399
00:23:19,819 --> 00:23:22,710
Well she said you only get life once...
400
00:23:22,745 --> 00:23:24,250
Might as well enjoy it!
401
00:23:29,391 --> 00:23:33,214
Denny... the? after 10 years?
You're not serious!
402
00:23:33,997 --> 00:23:35,075
You don't mean it!
403
00:23:37,075 --> 00:23:39,234
What am I to say to Commandant Borthwaite
and the girls?
404
00:23:39,269 --> 00:23:41,976
They've bought us a toast-rack, and everything.
405
00:23:43,574 --> 00:23:45,887
You're breaking my heart, that's all.
406
00:23:46,588 --> 00:23:47,849
No, you can't explain!
407
00:23:48,775 --> 00:23:51,108
Alright then... tomorrow morning at 11.
408
00:23:51,143 --> 00:23:52,599
On the dot!
409
00:23:55,300 --> 00:23:58,842
Daddykins... daddy...
410
00:23:59,514 --> 00:24:00,891
Daddy... did you hear that?
411
00:24:00,926 --> 00:24:02,802
Did you hear it?
412
00:24:02,837 --> 00:24:04,850
I told you so... shifty customer.
413
00:24:04,885 --> 00:24:06,613
Always said so... always will.
414
00:24:06,648 --> 00:24:08,306
Never liked him, never shall...
415
00:24:08,341 --> 00:24:10,768
Sort of fellow who'll end up
in the hands of the police.
416
00:24:13,026 --> 00:24:14,347
Scott dropped the ball...
417
00:24:14,382 --> 00:24:15,669
He tricks to outside left...
418
00:24:15,704 --> 00:24:17,103
Lobs to Menster...
419
00:24:17,138 --> 00:24:18,326
who pleas to the captain...
420
00:24:18,361 --> 00:24:19,515
The captain checks his guard...
421
00:24:19,550 --> 00:24:20,741
...passes it to Loguie...
422
00:24:20,776 --> 00:24:21,505
Loguie to Louis...
423
00:24:21,506 --> 00:24:22,484
Louis takes to the outside...
424
00:24:22,519 --> 00:24:23,300
Roper?
425
00:24:23,335 --> 00:24:24,105
Roper... Roper...
426
00:24:24,140 --> 00:24:25,988
He flies in and he slams...
427
00:24:28,632 --> 00:24:29,414
Good evening...
428
00:24:30,150 --> 00:24:33,837
I think I am most anxious
to go to prison for 28 days.
429
00:24:33,872 --> 00:24:35,914
And I wondered if you had
any suggestions.
430
00:24:37,057 --> 00:24:40,893
Well... have you committed any crime?
431
00:24:40,928 --> 00:24:42,332
Felony? Or breach of the peace?
432
00:24:42,367 --> 00:24:46,504
No, not yet... though within reason,
I am prepared to.
433
00:24:47,613 --> 00:24:49,610
Then get out of here...
can't you see we're very busy?
434
00:24:49,645 --> 00:24:51,607
Go on Eddie... Roper had the ball...
What happened?
435
00:24:51,642 --> 00:24:53,516
Wait, I don't think you quite understand.
436
00:24:53,551 --> 00:24:57,557
For reasons which I cannot divulge,
I must go to prison.
437
00:24:57,592 --> 00:24:59,004
And I've come for your advice.
438
00:24:59,039 --> 00:25:00,382
You've 'ad it, now 'op it!
439
00:25:00,417 --> 00:25:03,082
Look here my man, I'm asking
a perfectly civil question.
440
00:25:03,117 --> 00:25:04,739
And you got a civil answer.
Now 'op it!
441
00:25:04,774 --> 00:25:06,089
I'm a taxpayer...
442
00:25:06,124 --> 00:25:08,639
And what is more, I'm a personal friend
of the commissioner.
443
00:25:08,674 --> 00:25:09,824
Then I should go and see him...
444
00:25:09,859 --> 00:25:12,742
You'll find he's far less busy
than WE are.
445
00:25:14,297 --> 00:25:15,396
Good evening Benson...
446
00:25:15,431 --> 00:25:17,635
Your lord and master
is now a man of substance.
447
00:25:17,670 --> 00:25:20,999
Congratulations, sir...
How much?
448
00:25:21,034 --> 00:25:23,814
50,000 smackers Benson...
50,000 iron men.
449
00:25:23,849 --> 00:25:25,294
Splendid sir, splendid...
450
00:25:25,329 --> 00:25:29,136
In that case we might have little chat
about my arrears of salary?
451
00:25:30,677 --> 00:25:34,805
Quite, but I shall have to borrow a few more quid,
just to see me through the testing period.
452
00:25:35,843 --> 00:25:37,774
In that case we haven't been
left anything at all...
453
00:25:37,809 --> 00:25:38,593
Is that it, sir?
454
00:25:38,628 --> 00:25:40,710
No it isn't Benson...
now sit down and listen to me.
455
00:25:40,745 --> 00:25:43,827
I shouldn't be telling you this...
as I made a solemn oath not to do so.
456
00:25:43,862 --> 00:25:44,777
I'll rely on your discretion...
457
00:25:44,812 --> 00:25:47,617
Or honour among thieves,
scouts' honour, and all that.
458
00:25:47,652 --> 00:25:48,910
Well, carry on, sir.
459
00:25:48,945 --> 00:25:50,168
Well, it's like this...
460
00:25:51,230 --> 00:25:55,223
I forfeit the whole darned lot, if I don't marry
the first unmarried girl I speak to.
461
00:25:56,468 --> 00:25:58,017
Of course I shan't take any notice of that.
462
00:25:58,052 --> 00:25:59,251
Oh, naturally not, sir!
463
00:25:59,286 --> 00:26:00,527
Oh, but I must do it carefully, Benson...
464
00:26:00,562 --> 00:26:03,621
In fact I'm just as keen to find someone
with a tidy bank balance of her own.
465
00:26:03,656 --> 00:26:06,680
After all, I don't want to get landed
with a gold-digger, now that I'm rich.
466
00:26:08,203 --> 00:26:09,490
You listening, Benson?
467
00:26:10,187 --> 00:26:11,818
Oh, yes sir... I see your point...
468
00:26:12,529 --> 00:26:15,383
Since hearing your... bad news...
469
00:26:15,418 --> 00:26:18,661
Several young ladies have telephoned
their heartfelt sympathy.
470
00:26:19,084 --> 00:26:21,755
That's what I mean... you see
they're closing in already!
471
00:26:22,017 --> 00:26:25,471
Shocking bad taste...
with the old boy hardly cold.
472
00:26:25,506 --> 00:26:26,868
Oh, quite sir, quite.
473
00:26:26,903 --> 00:26:30,182
Well, if I might be allowed
to offer some advice...
474
00:26:30,217 --> 00:26:33,461
Why not leave town and
spend a few days on the boat.
475
00:26:33,900 --> 00:26:35,591
Good idea, Benson...
I'll go tomorrow.
476
00:26:35,626 --> 00:26:36,600
I'll take MY car.
477
00:26:36,635 --> 00:26:39,061
Oh, better send the other one back
to Sports Cars Ltd.
478
00:26:39,610 --> 00:26:41,847
Give them the usual spiel...
I wasn't satisfied.
479
00:26:41,882 --> 00:26:44,633
Then bolt the front door,
disconnect the telephone...
480
00:26:46,239 --> 00:26:47,847
This is worse than the bailiffs, Benson!
481
00:26:47,882 --> 00:26:49,090
How right you are sir...
482
00:26:49,125 --> 00:26:51,371
But don't worry... I'll look after you.
483
00:28:01,522 --> 00:28:02,497
Don't forget tonight!
484
00:28:02,532 --> 00:28:05,086
6.30 sharp... best bib and tucker.
485
00:28:05,121 --> 00:28:06,004
Alright.
486
00:28:10,866 --> 00:28:12,182
Oh, Miss Heath...
487
00:28:14,775 --> 00:28:16,290
It's such a lovely day today...
488
00:28:16,325 --> 00:28:18,948
I wondered whether you'd like to come
to the pictures with me tonight.
489
00:28:19,583 --> 00:28:20,047
Oh... I...
490
00:28:20,048 --> 00:28:22,331
There's a particular picture
that I want to see...
491
00:28:22,366 --> 00:28:24,952
It's all about a holdup man.
492
00:28:24,987 --> 00:28:27,504
I'd love to, Mr Russell...
493
00:28:27,539 --> 00:28:30,369
But unfortunately Mr Stewart has asked me
to go out with HIM tonight.
494
00:28:30,404 --> 00:28:32,402
Mr Wagstaffe's mail, Mr Russell.
495
00:28:35,382 --> 00:28:36,163
Thank you Mr Stewart.
496
00:28:37,768 --> 00:28:39,352
"Unfortunately" did you say?
497
00:28:40,075 --> 00:28:42,111
Of course, if you'd rather go out
with 'Handsome Herbert'...
498
00:28:42,145 --> 00:28:44,593
Why are you always
so nasty about him?
499
00:28:44,628 --> 00:28:45,421
Little twerp!
500
00:28:54,274 --> 00:28:56,205
Reach!... Reach for the sky!
501
00:28:59,880 --> 00:29:00,872
Come on... stick 'em up!
502
00:29:00,907 --> 00:29:02,045
No mucking about!
503
00:29:02,758 --> 00:29:05,010
Come on! I said no mucking about.
504
00:29:12,592 --> 00:29:13,303
Reach!...
505
00:29:13,338 --> 00:29:15,183
...brother... for the sky.
506
00:29:16,931 --> 00:29:18,161
Come on... stick 'em up!
507
00:29:18,196 --> 00:29:19,392
I haven't any time to waste.
508
00:29:19,427 --> 00:29:21,562
Apparently you HAVE.
509
00:29:25,866 --> 00:29:29,088
One of the signs of softening of the brain
is talking to oneself.
510
00:29:29,666 --> 00:29:31,607
Watch it, Mr Russell, watch it!
511
00:29:31,642 --> 00:29:33,587
Get back to your work!
512
00:29:33,622 --> 00:29:34,572
Yessir.
513
00:29:34,607 --> 00:29:35,571
Softening of the head.
514
00:29:37,870 --> 00:29:38,710
You said something, sir?
515
00:29:38,745 --> 00:29:40,492
No... I was talking to myself.
516
00:29:42,797 --> 00:29:43,749
Get out!
517
00:29:46,037 --> 00:29:47,230
Get out!
518
00:29:50,908 --> 00:29:54,804
In your advertisement about a domestic,
you mentioned references.
519
00:29:54,839 --> 00:29:56,602
I haven't done this sort of work before
520
00:29:57,156 --> 00:29:58,386
Oh, don't worry about that...
521
00:29:58,421 --> 00:30:00,925
I'm sorry, I've forgotten your name again.
522
00:30:00,960 --> 00:30:02,112
Agnes Russell.
523
00:30:02,147 --> 00:30:03,234
I'll be frank with you Agnes...
524
00:30:03,912 --> 00:30:05,836
We've had quite a number
of servants here.
525
00:30:05,871 --> 00:30:08,014
Some with excellent references, but...
526
00:30:08,178 --> 00:30:09,868
None of them have lasted.
527
00:30:09,903 --> 00:30:11,692
But I'm sure you'll do us very well.
528
00:30:14,456 --> 00:30:17,206
That'll be my father...
I expect he wants to see you.
529
00:30:17,356 --> 00:30:18,777
Shall we go up?
530
00:30:22,093 --> 00:30:23,647
Aren't men impatient!
531
00:30:23,682 --> 00:30:25,667
My father is a semi invalid,
and this is...
532
00:30:25,702 --> 00:30:27,270
Father's not really very ill.
533
00:30:34,515 --> 00:30:35,887
Father, this is our new helper.
534
00:30:35,922 --> 00:30:36,944
An older instance.
535
00:30:36,979 --> 00:30:38,393
What's your name?
536
00:30:38,428 --> 00:30:39,773
Agnes Russell.
537
00:30:39,808 --> 00:30:41,100
Need be perfect from now on, my girl...
538
00:30:41,135 --> 00:30:43,311
All the others worked badly,
and a rotten lot they were!
539
00:30:43,346 --> 00:30:45,727
I'm sure Agnes will work very well, father.
540
00:30:45,762 --> 00:30:46,629
We'll see.
541
00:30:46,790 --> 00:30:47,899
Can you cook better?
542
00:30:48,849 --> 00:30:49,897
Yes...
543
00:30:49,932 --> 00:30:51,084
You can cook my supper tonight.
544
00:30:51,119 --> 00:30:52,474
There's a steak in the larder...
545
00:30:52,509 --> 00:30:53,829
You don't make a mess of it now!
546
00:30:54,849 --> 00:30:56,476
You're a sour face!
547
00:30:56,511 --> 00:30:58,395
I like happy people about me!
548
00:30:58,751 --> 00:30:59,784
Smile!
549
00:31:02,728 --> 00:31:04,579
Go on!... Smile!
550
00:31:07,499 --> 00:31:08,668
That's better!
551
00:31:12,912 --> 00:31:15,313
He likes you...
He likes you very much.
552
00:31:16,156 --> 00:31:17,083
He does!
553
00:31:25,703 --> 00:31:27,296
I'm as happy as a lark...
554
00:31:27,331 --> 00:31:30,158
A lark, a lark...
555
00:31:30,193 --> 00:31:33,017
I'm as happy as a dog!
556
00:31:33,052 --> 00:31:35,841
Bumbum... bumbum...
557
00:31:57,347 --> 00:31:58,551
Hello there!
558
00:31:58,586 --> 00:32:01,585
I say, are you in difficulty?
559
00:32:01,620 --> 00:32:03,285
Don't bother, thanks...
I can manage.
560
00:32:05,271 --> 00:32:06,118
No bother at all!
561
00:32:06,705 --> 00:32:07,525
So, what's the trouble?
562
00:32:07,687 --> 00:32:10,466
I don't quite know...
It just stopped.
563
00:32:10,738 --> 00:32:11,556
Got any petrol?
564
00:32:11,591 --> 00:32:13,542
Oh, yes...
My chauffeur filled it up this morning.
565
00:32:13,577 --> 00:32:15,649
Just stubborn, eh?
Got far to go?
566
00:32:15,684 --> 00:32:18,352
Eton. My brother's at school there
and I promised to take him out...
567
00:32:18,387 --> 00:32:19,827
It's maddening.
568
00:32:19,862 --> 00:32:21,506
- Leave it to me.
- Thank you.
569
00:32:24,824 --> 00:32:26,266
Do you know anything about cars?
570
00:32:26,301 --> 00:32:28,009
- Not a thing.
- Fine!
571
00:32:29,478 --> 00:32:35,158
Well... if you ask me, the 'circumventor'
on the 'ubiquitous praxile'...
572
00:32:36,193 --> 00:32:36,748
What?
573
00:32:36,749 --> 00:32:38,230
The 'sheerstall' has blown.
574
00:32:38,914 --> 00:32:40,256
You can tell just by looking at it?
575
00:32:40,291 --> 00:32:41,563
Oh, one gets the knack you know...
576
00:32:41,598 --> 00:32:45,500
Like doctors lifting your eyelid and knowing
your great grandmother was a dipsomaniac.
577
00:32:47,575 --> 00:32:49,130
Can I give you a lift somewhere?
578
00:32:49,165 --> 00:32:50,686
If you would... to the telephone.
579
00:32:51,634 --> 00:32:53,396
It's a pleasure... come along.
580
00:32:57,678 --> 00:33:00,429
I'll ring my chauffeur to come
and collect the beastly thing.
581
00:33:01,383 --> 00:33:05,729
What do you know about...
'praxile'... thingumajigs?
582
00:33:05,764 --> 00:33:08,595
I doubt it... very few people do.
583
00:33:09,735 --> 00:33:11,217
I hate that car, anyway.
584
00:33:11,843 --> 00:33:13,333
I much prefer my big one.
585
00:33:13,868 --> 00:33:14,683
Your big one?
586
00:33:16,193 --> 00:33:18,169
Oh, you'll have to forgive old "Griselda".
587
00:33:18,204 --> 00:33:19,644
Both mine are in dock.
588
00:33:19,679 --> 00:33:21,421
This thing belongs to my butler.
589
00:33:21,996 --> 00:33:25,036
I think she's sweet... and I'm
very grateful to both of you.
590
00:33:36,847 --> 00:33:37,978
What did you say your name was?
591
00:33:39,834 --> 00:33:41,857
I didn't. It's Lucille Grayson.
592
00:33:41,892 --> 00:33:43,846
How do you do?... Simon Russell.
593
00:33:43,881 --> 00:33:46,637
I'm going to make
a very impertinent suggestion...
594
00:33:46,672 --> 00:33:49,014
Instead of you singing the "Eton Boating Song"
with your brother...
595
00:33:49,049 --> 00:33:51,670
Why not come boating with me?
596
00:33:51,705 --> 00:33:54,315
My cruiser's just along the road...
on the water of course.
597
00:33:54,350 --> 00:33:56,379
No thank you...
I couldn't possibly.
598
00:33:56,414 --> 00:33:59,760
My uncle would raise Cain if he heard
I'd been out with strange men.
599
00:33:59,795 --> 00:34:02,615
Well, there's only one of me
and I'm not all that strange.
600
00:34:02,650 --> 00:34:05,312
In fact I behave pretty normally
on the whole.
601
00:34:05,347 --> 00:34:08,937
It's very tempting, Mr Russell...
but I must say no.
602
00:34:09,982 --> 00:34:11,575
- No?
- Yes.
603
00:34:20,728 --> 00:34:23,087
Do you really know anything
about cars?
604
00:34:23,915 --> 00:34:24,636
No.
605
00:34:24,637 --> 00:34:25,738
Nothing at all?
606
00:34:25,773 --> 00:34:26,839
Nothing at all.
607
00:34:27,794 --> 00:34:28,869
How clever of you.
608
00:34:30,875 --> 00:34:32,043
Do you like my little boat?
609
00:34:32,339 --> 00:34:33,215
Mmm... very much.
610
00:34:33,567 --> 00:34:34,431
Small, of course.
611
00:34:34,466 --> 00:34:36,703
Getting another one soon,
with a big funnel.
612
00:34:36,738 --> 00:34:37,919
Comfy?
613
00:34:39,662 --> 00:34:41,706
Lucky you had 2 of these
mattress things.
614
00:34:41,741 --> 00:34:44,003
Yes, I was here last weekend
with a business pal.
615
00:34:44,437 --> 00:34:46,125
He left his lipstick behind.
616
00:34:48,252 --> 00:34:49,267
Odd!
617
00:34:50,155 --> 00:34:51,342
I wonder how that got here.
618
00:34:52,646 --> 00:34:54,396
I'm beginning to wonder
how I did!
619
00:34:56,385 --> 00:34:57,310
Not regretting it, are you?
620
00:34:57,345 --> 00:34:59,623
Not yet... but I shall!
621
00:35:00,597 --> 00:35:02,290
My uncle wouldn't approve of this at all.
622
00:35:03,047 --> 00:35:04,456
Like all very rich men...
623
00:35:04,491 --> 00:35:06,230
He wants to run everybody else's life.
624
00:35:06,580 --> 00:35:07,998
You poor sweet...
I know the form...
625
00:35:08,033 --> 00:35:10,737
You can't tell him to go to blazes
or he'll cut you off with a shilling.
626
00:35:10,772 --> 00:35:13,686
No... he can't do that...
the money's in trust for me.
627
00:35:15,329 --> 00:35:16,143
That's good...
628
00:35:17,807 --> 00:35:19,547
That's very good!
629
00:35:23,964 --> 00:35:25,021
No!
630
00:35:25,734 --> 00:35:26,533
No!
631
00:35:26,912 --> 00:35:27,337
No!
632
00:35:27,338 --> 00:35:29,858
Deniston... I will not postpone our wedding
without a reason.
633
00:35:29,893 --> 00:35:31,379
No, you can't fob me off like that.
634
00:35:31,414 --> 00:35:34,226
Fluffy... I wouldn't dream of fobbing you.
635
00:35:34,261 --> 00:35:35,151
Nonsense!...
636
00:35:36,017 --> 00:35:38,551
This is the clearest case of fobbing
that's ever come my way.
637
00:35:38,586 --> 00:35:41,300
You've been dilly-dallying
with my daughter for 10 years.
638
00:35:41,335 --> 00:35:44,014
Only because of my financial situation,
Sir Charles.
639
00:35:44,049 --> 00:35:45,375
What's happened to it now?
640
00:35:45,410 --> 00:35:48,180
Nothing, nothing... I only asked
for a slight postponement.
641
00:35:48,215 --> 00:35:49,178
28 days.
642
00:35:49,213 --> 00:35:50,142
Why?
643
00:35:51,536 --> 00:35:53,418
I know you'll understand when I tell you
644
00:35:53,453 --> 00:35:56,902
that I've given my solemn oath
not to divulge the reason.
645
00:35:56,937 --> 00:35:59,934
But when we got engaged,
10 years ago...
646
00:36:01,282 --> 00:36:04,320
You solemnly swore we wouldn't
have any secrets from each other.
647
00:36:05,031 --> 00:36:06,698
Except, of course, official ones.
648
00:36:07,944 --> 00:36:11,090
Oh... but this IS official!...
649
00:36:11,814 --> 00:36:12,529
In a way.
650
00:36:12,530 --> 00:36:17,813
You see, Fluffy... in strict confidence...
I have to go away for a month.
651
00:36:18,277 --> 00:36:19,267
Officially?
652
00:36:19,302 --> 00:36:20,257
Officially.
653
00:36:21,012 --> 00:36:22,087
Got a government?
654
00:36:22,122 --> 00:36:26,136
Well, the government will
be paying my expenses.
655
00:36:26,465 --> 00:36:27,541
What's that?
656
00:36:29,057 --> 00:36:30,136
Just a minute.
657
00:36:30,171 --> 00:36:33,041
I thought the Pay Corps
kicked you out 5 years ago.
658
00:36:33,076 --> 00:36:37,656
I shall not be in uniform, Sir Charles...
at least I don't think so.
659
00:36:39,236 --> 00:36:41,556
Will you excuse me... I really have to go
to catch my train...
660
00:36:41,591 --> 00:36:44,117
Denny... you're not going
behind the Iron Curtain?
661
00:36:45,739 --> 00:36:47,985
I suppose you could put it like that.
662
00:36:48,020 --> 00:36:50,196
Daddykins, he's in the Secret Service...
663
00:36:50,231 --> 00:36:52,078
And all the time we thought
he was doing nothing!
664
00:36:52,729 --> 00:36:55,468
Oh, Denny... my brave Denny-boy!
665
00:36:55,503 --> 00:36:59,323
Fluffy, dear... look I promise
as soon as ever I am free...
666
00:36:59,358 --> 00:37:02,018
...free to talk... I'll explain everything.
667
00:37:02,053 --> 00:37:03,919
No need to explain, when duty calls!
668
00:37:03,954 --> 00:37:04,657
Quite right...
669
00:37:04,658 --> 00:37:07,237
Now don't go and land yourself
in one of those filthy jails!
670
00:37:07,272 --> 00:37:08,730
No, but I...
671
00:37:10,108 --> 00:37:12,862
Will you excuse me, sir Charles?...
I must catch my train.
672
00:37:13,236 --> 00:37:16,270
Well, good luck... I'm sorry I was
a bit shirty with you.
673
00:37:25,647 --> 00:37:27,221
I know you won't be able to write...
674
00:37:27,256 --> 00:37:28,760
But I shall be watching the newspapers
675
00:37:28,795 --> 00:37:31,718
and hoping so much there won't be
any news of you.
676
00:37:32,258 --> 00:37:33,776
Oh, the newspapers!...
677
00:37:33,811 --> 00:37:36,626
Oh, yes... hope that... please hope that!
678
00:37:38,674 --> 00:37:40,612
Kings Cross station, please.
679
00:37:40,647 --> 00:37:43,454
Good luck!... and if they catch you,
none of those confessions, mind!
680
00:37:43,862 --> 00:37:44,933
Goodbye, dear boy.
681
00:37:50,051 --> 00:37:52,612
Not the railway station... the police station.
682
00:38:01,951 --> 00:38:05,359
Good morning, inspector,
do you remember me?
683
00:38:05,394 --> 00:38:08,202
Yes, I do remember you...
go on get outta here.
684
00:38:08,237 --> 00:38:10,976
Please, please listen...
you see, I am a writer...
685
00:38:11,011 --> 00:38:14,353
And it is necessary for one of my characters
to go to prison for a month.
686
00:38:14,388 --> 00:38:17,696
I only thought you could tell me
a few crimes that could fit the bill.
687
00:38:18,620 --> 00:38:22,389
Look... here's a little opus of mine,
if you'd care to...
688
00:38:23,251 --> 00:38:24,427
It's about football.
689
00:38:24,462 --> 00:38:25,568
About football, eh?
690
00:38:25,603 --> 00:38:29,228
The whole of the Cup Final team get poisoned
on the eve of the match.
691
00:38:30,883 --> 00:38:32,163
"Death and the FA Cup"
692
00:38:33,265 --> 00:38:35,487
No, no, please... keep it...
if you'd care to.
693
00:38:35,522 --> 00:38:36,524
For me?
694
00:38:37,247 --> 00:38:39,031
Well, that's very kind of you sir...
thank you!
695
00:38:39,066 --> 00:38:42,721
Well, I'm always ready
to support the arts, as it were!
696
00:38:43,512 --> 00:38:45,577
I dare say Archibald ought to
be able to help us.
697
00:38:45,612 --> 00:38:47,256
Who is Archibald?
698
00:38:47,291 --> 00:38:49,554
The encyclopedia of crime.
699
00:38:49,792 --> 00:38:51,767
Look, I want it to be
a very respectable crime.
700
00:38:52,554 --> 00:38:54,699
Nothing nasty.
701
00:38:55,156 --> 00:38:57,239
You see, he's a very upright
and honourable man...
702
00:38:57,274 --> 00:39:01,840
I can't possibly have his reputation
soiled in any way.
703
00:39:02,952 --> 00:39:04,050
He has to get the heroine.
704
00:39:04,085 --> 00:39:05,277
'appy endin', eh?
705
00:39:05,312 --> 00:39:06,614
That's the stuff to give 'em.
706
00:39:06,649 --> 00:39:07,916
I'm so glad you understand.
707
00:39:07,978 --> 00:39:10,514
Now, let's see, there's trains.
708
00:39:10,549 --> 00:39:12,975
There's lot of things happen
in trains, you know...
709
00:39:13,010 --> 00:39:14,387
You'd be surprised.
710
00:39:14,422 --> 00:39:16,287
Most of them go for about 6 months.
711
00:39:16,322 --> 00:39:18,544
No... no... no...
712
00:39:18,579 --> 00:39:19,725
Bag snatchin' ain't bad.
713
00:39:20,507 --> 00:39:23,199
I'll take note of one or two of these.
714
00:39:23,234 --> 00:39:24,513
Yes, do that.
715
00:39:24,548 --> 00:39:26,090
Here, I've got this.
716
00:39:26,125 --> 00:39:27,632
Bag snatching...
717
00:39:30,082 --> 00:39:32,697
Then there's... shoplifting.
718
00:39:32,732 --> 00:39:34,877
Yes... shoplifting.
719
00:39:34,912 --> 00:39:36,769
They're gettin' very down on that
nowadays, you know.
720
00:39:36,804 --> 00:39:38,906
Especially among the upper classes.
721
00:39:38,941 --> 00:39:41,937
Then there's... I think I've got it here.
722
00:39:42,632 --> 00:39:43,507
I may be wrong.
723
00:39:43,542 --> 00:39:46,188
How about stealing lead
from churches?
724
00:39:46,223 --> 00:39:48,834
Just climb up on the roof and rip it off.
725
00:39:50,999 --> 00:39:52,694
No... he has no head for heights.
726
00:39:52,729 --> 00:39:54,231
Oh, that's a pity.
727
00:39:54,266 --> 00:39:57,162
Well, car-stealing's very popular,
you know.
728
00:39:57,866 --> 00:40:00,204
Yes... car stealing...
729
00:40:00,239 --> 00:40:01,074
Bung that down.
730
00:40:08,520 --> 00:40:09,657
Oh... alright!
731
00:40:15,999 --> 00:40:18,261
Alright... alright... alright!
732
00:40:28,023 --> 00:40:28,856
Shut the window!
733
00:40:29,249 --> 00:40:30,304
My feet are cold!
734
00:40:38,032 --> 00:40:40,306
Don't stand there gaping...
my dinner'll spoil.
735
00:41:17,114 --> 00:41:19,571
Alright.. alright... alright!
736
00:41:29,868 --> 00:41:30,636
Have you got asthma?
737
00:41:31,785 --> 00:41:32,179
No...
738
00:41:32,180 --> 00:41:34,307
Then stop puffin' like a train...
it gets on my nerves.
739
00:41:35,134 --> 00:41:35,921
You left the door open.
740
00:41:36,923 --> 00:41:38,382
Shut it when you go!
741
00:41:38,417 --> 00:41:40,171
- Is that all you...?
- Go on!
742
00:42:34,156 --> 00:42:34,940
You're fired!
743
00:42:40,498 --> 00:42:41,505
Mr Webb...
744
00:42:41,540 --> 00:42:43,079
I beg you to reconsider this.
745
00:42:43,114 --> 00:42:46,468
The only matter for consideration is whether
I kick you out now or tomorrow morning.
746
00:42:49,658 --> 00:42:51,347
I'm willing to work for no wages.
747
00:42:51,382 --> 00:42:53,054
Still all too expensive.
748
00:42:53,089 --> 00:42:55,657
In fact, I'm willing to pay YOU
to let me stay.
749
00:42:57,603 --> 00:42:59,541
I only ask to remain a month...
750
00:42:59,576 --> 00:43:03,974
If you let me stay, I'll give you £1,000.
751
00:43:05,703 --> 00:43:06,543
What did you say?
752
00:43:06,578 --> 00:43:08,216
£1,000!
753
00:43:08,251 --> 00:43:09,489
You're off your head!
754
00:43:09,524 --> 00:43:11,041
- I know it sounds insane...
- Don't come near me!
755
00:43:11,076 --> 00:43:12,784
- But I mean it!
- Go and lie down!
756
00:43:12,819 --> 00:43:14,493
- I'll put it in writing!
- Get out!
757
00:43:23,305 --> 00:43:26,234
Potty!... Completely potty!
758
00:43:57,178 --> 00:43:57,805
You rang for me?
759
00:43:57,806 --> 00:44:01,337
Yes... but not to appear like
something out of a French farce.
760
00:44:01,372 --> 00:44:02,687
Go away and put your clothes on.
761
00:44:03,717 --> 00:44:05,304
Never mind... you look terrible anyway.
762
00:44:05,339 --> 00:44:07,550
Take those flowers out...
they're eatin' up the oxygen.
763
00:44:07,585 --> 00:44:10,174
And you dare to send for me
just for that?
764
00:44:10,209 --> 00:44:11,914
Ah... keep a civil tongue in your head!
765
00:44:11,949 --> 00:44:13,753
Why should I?
You've dismissed me haven't you?
766
00:44:13,788 --> 00:44:14,709
I'll say what I like...
767
00:44:14,744 --> 00:44:15,962
And here and now I'd like to say
768
00:44:15,997 --> 00:44:18,184
that you're the most detestable,
abominable old man
769
00:44:18,219 --> 00:44:20,381
it's ever been my misfortune
to encounter.
770
00:44:20,416 --> 00:44:24,803
A pity... because I'd changed my mind
about sending you away.
771
00:44:24,838 --> 00:44:26,717
Anything to say about that?
772
00:44:27,674 --> 00:44:30,933
Mind you, it's not for your £1,000...
which obviously doesn't exist.
773
00:44:30,968 --> 00:44:32,083
But it does, and I mean it.
774
00:44:32,118 --> 00:44:34,459
Nor for your beauty or efficiency...
775
00:44:34,494 --> 00:44:35,800
Which don't exist either...
776
00:44:35,835 --> 00:44:39,719
But purely for my own convenience,
until I can find somebody better.
777
00:44:39,754 --> 00:44:41,470
Which shouldn't be difficult.
778
00:44:41,505 --> 00:44:43,187
See the door closes when you go.
779
00:44:45,311 --> 00:44:47,801
Uh... the flowers.
780
00:45:01,126 --> 00:45:04,072
Your 'Handsome Herbert' seems to be
a little late this morning.
781
00:45:04,107 --> 00:45:05,153
He may not be handsome...
782
00:45:05,188 --> 00:45:07,413
But at least he's not a wolf
at the Hammersmith Palais.
783
00:45:07,804 --> 00:45:09,080
Naughty, naughty!
784
00:45:13,229 --> 00:45:14,914
What on earth are you doing, Mr Stewart.
785
00:45:15,345 --> 00:45:17,196
Leave that young lady alone!
786
00:45:17,231 --> 00:45:19,691
And in Mr Wagstaffe's office, too!
787
00:45:19,726 --> 00:45:21,898
I think Miss Heath is capable
of looking after herself.
788
00:45:21,933 --> 00:45:23,831
No she isn't, not while I'm here
to stop her.
789
00:45:23,866 --> 00:45:25,729
Thank you Mr Russell,
but it's quite alright.
790
00:45:25,764 --> 00:45:26,406
Oh, no it isn't...
791
00:45:26,441 --> 00:45:28,185
Now you run along
and leave this to me.
792
00:45:38,699 --> 00:45:39,633
Now look here, Stewart...
793
00:45:39,668 --> 00:45:41,073
I'm not going to stand for any nonsense...
794
00:45:41,108 --> 00:45:42,682
Oh, go away...
795
00:45:43,516 --> 00:45:44,927
Go away, little man.
796
00:45:44,962 --> 00:45:47,503
Alright! Little man I may be,
but not for long.
797
00:45:47,538 --> 00:45:52,145
Let me tell you that one day
I'll come in here in a Rolls-Royce.
798
00:45:52,969 --> 00:45:54,781
And I'll have an overdraft of 20,000.
799
00:45:55,131 --> 00:45:56,087
Or more!
800
00:45:56,122 --> 00:45:58,960
And you'll me calling me "sir".
801
00:45:58,995 --> 00:46:00,462
Oh, I'd like to see that!
802
00:46:01,381 --> 00:46:04,489
Well, sometimes... worms change their...
803
00:46:04,524 --> 00:46:05,812
Their spots!
804
00:46:05,847 --> 00:46:09,424
And when I do, I'll march in here
without knocking...
805
00:46:09,459 --> 00:46:11,974
And I'll...
806
00:46:12,009 --> 00:46:13,241
I'll sit on the desk.
807
00:46:13,276 --> 00:46:16,198
And I'll say "Hello Wagstaffe... how's the... "
808
00:46:20,470 --> 00:46:22,300
You fool! Look what you've done
to my suit!
809
00:46:22,335 --> 00:46:24,009
I'm terribly sorry, Mr Stewart...
810
00:46:24,044 --> 00:46:25,301
You'll pay for this!
811
00:46:25,336 --> 00:46:27,196
No, it was both of our faults, really.
812
00:46:27,231 --> 00:46:31,707
Oh, no... you wait until
Mr Wagstaffe hears about this.
813
00:46:31,742 --> 00:46:33,483
Oh, bother Mr Wagstaffe...
814
00:46:33,518 --> 00:46:36,033
Mr Wagstaffe... Mr Wagstaffe...
815
00:46:36,068 --> 00:46:38,622
Come on, don't just stand there...
help me pick them up.
816
00:46:39,463 --> 00:46:40,300
Come on...
817
00:46:57,558 --> 00:47:00,050
And what are you doing NOW, Mr Russell?
818
00:47:01,383 --> 00:47:02,724
It's your wife again, sir...
819
00:47:03,868 --> 00:47:05,975
She's... gone to pieces.
820
00:47:06,010 --> 00:47:09,418
Mr Russell, how long you remain with us,
I don't know, but I hope not long.
821
00:47:09,453 --> 00:47:12,993
But until you go, you won't set foot
in my office again.
822
00:47:13,028 --> 00:47:15,091
Yessir... no sir...
823
00:47:15,904 --> 00:47:17,483
Oh but sir, I...
824
00:47:17,518 --> 00:47:19,882
That was an order, Mr Russell.
825
00:47:32,255 --> 00:47:33,294
Father... what are you doing?
826
00:47:33,329 --> 00:47:34,877
Searching her belongings...
what do you think I'm doing?
827
00:47:34,912 --> 00:47:36,019
That's a dreadful thing to do.
828
00:47:36,662 --> 00:47:38,332
You mind your own business
and answer the bell.
829
00:47:38,367 --> 00:47:39,539
That'll be the detective.
830
00:47:39,574 --> 00:47:40,251
Detective?
831
00:47:40,286 --> 00:47:41,569
Oh father, not again...
832
00:47:41,604 --> 00:47:43,527
Just when we get somebody
good at last.
833
00:47:43,562 --> 00:47:45,423
Away you go!
834
00:48:02,463 --> 00:48:04,918
I had an appointment with Mr Webb.
835
00:48:04,953 --> 00:48:06,708
If you're from the police,
you're wasting your time.
836
00:48:06,743 --> 00:48:11,024
Oh I'm not from the police,
I'm a private inquiry agent, Mrs...
837
00:48:11,059 --> 00:48:11,959
or Miss...
838
00:48:11,994 --> 00:48:13,017
Miss.
839
00:48:13,052 --> 00:48:16,171
What private enquiry there can be
about that poor soul, I can't imagine.
840
00:48:16,206 --> 00:48:17,802
- Good morning, sir.
- Your detective.
841
00:48:19,285 --> 00:48:20,989
A bit young, aren't you?
842
00:48:21,858 --> 00:48:22,781
For what, sir?
843
00:48:23,304 --> 00:48:24,509
For what I've a mind to.
844
00:48:24,544 --> 00:48:25,942
Listen to me.
845
00:48:25,977 --> 00:48:27,846
Last night I sacked my maid.
846
00:48:27,881 --> 00:48:31,160
Whereupon she offered me £1,000
to let her stay for a month.
847
00:48:31,195 --> 00:48:31,877
Did she now?
848
00:48:31,912 --> 00:48:33,559
Father, isn't this going a bit too far?
849
00:48:33,594 --> 00:48:35,026
That's why I sent for you.
850
00:48:35,061 --> 00:48:37,823
Nobody in their right mind would stay
in this house a minute longer than they need.
851
00:48:37,858 --> 00:48:39,279
I don't agree, sir.
852
00:48:39,572 --> 00:48:42,732
You're here to do a job of work...
not to be flippant... Sit down.
853
00:48:42,767 --> 00:48:43,679
Sorry, sir.
854
00:48:43,714 --> 00:48:47,084
Now then... either she's cracked,
and has escaped from some asylum...
855
00:48:47,119 --> 00:48:48,626
Or she's a criminal lying low.
856
00:48:48,661 --> 00:48:50,098
I tend to think she's a criminal.
857
00:48:50,133 --> 00:48:52,754
This identity card... obviously forged...
Look at it.
858
00:48:53,414 --> 00:48:56,868
No 30-bob-a-week domestic servant
could live in that neighbourhood.
859
00:48:56,903 --> 00:48:57,838
Certainly looks a bit odd.
860
00:48:57,873 --> 00:48:59,292
What do you want ME
to do about it?
861
00:48:59,327 --> 00:48:59,921
Check up on her...
862
00:48:59,922 --> 00:49:02,264
Find out where she comes from,
where she goes... everything about her.
863
00:49:02,299 --> 00:49:02,904
Is she here now?
864
00:49:02,905 --> 00:49:04,296
No... gave her the afternoon off.
865
00:49:04,331 --> 00:49:05,688
Didn't want her spotting you.
866
00:49:06,307 --> 00:49:07,922
Well? You'll take the job?
867
00:49:07,957 --> 00:49:08,530
Certainly, sir.
868
00:49:08,531 --> 00:49:09,167
Good.
869
00:49:09,168 --> 00:49:10,987
It'll be a pleasure.
870
00:49:15,117 --> 00:49:16,148
Oh, ma'am!...
871
00:49:16,183 --> 00:49:17,729
I didn't expect you!
872
00:49:17,967 --> 00:49:19,142
I'll just put me apron on...
873
00:49:19,177 --> 00:49:21,020
It doesn't matter about the apron.
874
00:49:23,412 --> 00:49:24,829
Come here please.
875
00:49:27,265 --> 00:49:28,250
Have you found another post?
876
00:49:29,087 --> 00:49:32,239
No, ma'am. You see...
What with no references...
877
00:49:32,871 --> 00:49:36,107
Ethel, I'm afraid I've been
a little hard on you at times.
878
00:49:37,328 --> 00:49:38,550
One doesn't realise...
879
00:49:39,486 --> 00:49:41,493
If you care to stay with me,
you can.
880
00:49:42,347 --> 00:49:44,170
I shall be away about a month.
881
00:49:44,912 --> 00:49:46,576
You could have a little holiday.
882
00:49:47,230 --> 00:49:47,715
Oh, ma'am...
883
00:49:47,716 --> 00:49:49,551
With pay, of course.
884
00:49:52,373 --> 00:49:54,132
I should like you to stay, if you would.
885
00:49:54,167 --> 00:49:56,103
Oh, thank you very much, ma'am.
886
00:49:56,138 --> 00:49:57,320
Oh yes, I will.
887
00:49:57,355 --> 00:49:58,396
Good.
888
00:49:58,431 --> 00:50:01,287
Well, I'm going to have a little rest...
I'm rather tired.
889
00:50:23,187 --> 00:50:24,930
Is Miss Agnes Russell in?
890
00:50:24,965 --> 00:50:25,676
Yes.
891
00:50:25,711 --> 00:50:26,925
But she's asleep.
892
00:50:26,960 --> 00:50:28,139
Is she? Good.
893
00:50:28,595 --> 00:50:30,528
I dare say you can help me.
I'm a reporter.
894
00:50:33,410 --> 00:50:34,572
Shall we go in?
895
00:50:34,607 --> 00:50:35,778
I s'pose.
896
00:50:38,691 --> 00:50:39,453
What's your name?
897
00:50:39,488 --> 00:50:40,491
Ethel.
898
00:50:40,526 --> 00:50:41,345
Sit down, Ethel.
899
00:50:43,517 --> 00:50:44,418
I know that face.
900
00:50:44,453 --> 00:50:45,649
Miss Russell's brother.
901
00:50:45,684 --> 00:50:48,044
He passed away last week, poor gentleman.
902
00:50:48,079 --> 00:50:49,495
Henry Russell... the joker?
903
00:50:49,530 --> 00:50:51,932
That's right, the practical joking man.
904
00:50:51,967 --> 00:50:54,334
He left her a fortune, so they say.
905
00:50:54,369 --> 00:50:55,533
Did he now?
906
00:50:55,568 --> 00:50:57,090
How much did he leave her?
907
00:50:57,125 --> 00:50:58,159
Ethel...
908
00:50:58,194 --> 00:51:00,321
Who is this gentleman?
What does he want?
909
00:51:01,598 --> 00:51:03,329
I'm glad to meet you, Miss Russell.
910
00:51:03,767 --> 00:51:05,030
I'm from the Chelsea Chronicle,
911
00:51:05,065 --> 00:51:07,625
and I wonder if you'll give me
a line or two on your brother.
912
00:51:07,660 --> 00:51:08,579
I have nothing to say.
913
00:51:08,614 --> 00:51:10,537
Ethel... show the gentleman out.
914
00:51:10,572 --> 00:51:12,460
I don't wish to see him again.
915
00:51:12,495 --> 00:51:13,662
But Miss Russell, I...
916
00:51:13,697 --> 00:51:14,491
Please!
917
00:51:46,838 --> 00:51:47,675
£5 please!
918
00:51:49,133 --> 00:51:50,457
You don't understand... I...
919
00:51:50,492 --> 00:51:51,781
Oh, that's alright, sir... £5.
920
00:51:53,290 --> 00:51:55,302
Oh yes, of course... £5.
921
00:51:57,259 --> 00:51:58,017
Thank you.
922
00:52:48,978 --> 00:52:50,354
Wrong tartan.
923
00:52:50,389 --> 00:52:52,250
The wrong tartan, sir?
924
00:53:20,216 --> 00:53:21,726
I'll be with you in a moment, sir.
925
00:54:11,474 --> 00:54:12,497
Terribly sorry!
926
00:54:12,532 --> 00:54:13,668
I wasn't looking where I was going.
927
00:54:13,703 --> 00:54:14,732
Pardon... my fault.
928
00:54:28,426 --> 00:54:29,753
Excuse me, sir...
929
00:54:30,382 --> 00:54:32,788
Did you purchase anything in the store?
930
00:54:32,823 --> 00:54:35,194
No, no... oh yes... a pedigreed pipe.
931
00:54:35,229 --> 00:54:36,335
£5.
932
00:54:36,370 --> 00:54:37,551
Nothing else, sir?
933
00:54:37,586 --> 00:54:38,697
Absolutely not.
934
00:54:38,732 --> 00:54:40,074
Would you mind just
stepping into the office?
935
00:54:40,109 --> 00:54:41,761
Oh. of course... I'd be delighted.
936
00:54:47,301 --> 00:54:48,341
Come in here, please.
937
00:54:49,590 --> 00:54:50,803
Well, gentlemen...
938
00:54:50,838 --> 00:54:51,982
What can I do for you?
939
00:54:52,017 --> 00:54:54,159
Have you any objection
to being searched?
940
00:54:54,194 --> 00:54:56,858
None at all... none at all...
Where would you like to begin?
941
00:54:57,002 --> 00:54:58,068
This pocket.
942
00:55:06,789 --> 00:55:08,733
I've been robbed!
943
00:55:08,768 --> 00:55:09,926
My wallet!
944
00:55:12,017 --> 00:55:13,099
I demand compensation!
945
00:55:13,469 --> 00:55:14,512
What have you done with it?
946
00:55:14,547 --> 00:55:15,701
My wallet's gone!
947
00:55:18,350 --> 00:55:20,930
I don't understand...
It doesn't make sense.
948
00:55:21,381 --> 00:55:22,803
Why is she working here, then?
949
00:55:22,838 --> 00:55:23,399
Search me...
950
00:55:23,400 --> 00:55:25,452
Either practical jokes run in the family...
951
00:55:25,487 --> 00:55:27,469
Or she's cracked, as your father suggested.
952
00:55:27,504 --> 00:55:29,165
The doctor's with him now,
but he won't be long.
953
00:55:29,200 --> 00:55:30,130
Will you wait?
954
00:55:30,165 --> 00:55:32,313
Better not... Agnes may return...
She mustn't spot me.
955
00:55:32,850 --> 00:55:34,935
But there are some more questions
I'd like to ask her.
956
00:55:34,970 --> 00:55:36,887
There isn't much time now, so...
957
00:55:36,922 --> 00:55:39,312
Perhaps we could have some food
together tonight and discuss it.
958
00:55:39,539 --> 00:55:40,751
What questions?
959
00:55:40,786 --> 00:55:42,159
Oh... a few details.
960
00:55:42,732 --> 00:55:45,864
After all one must go into details
in a detailed manner.
961
00:55:45,899 --> 00:55:48,667
Mr Godfrey, I don't often get invited out.
962
00:55:48,981 --> 00:55:52,482
But if you really want me to come and dine with you,
would you mind asking me properly?
963
00:55:53,108 --> 00:55:55,237
Madam, would you care
to dine with me tonight?
964
00:55:55,737 --> 00:55:57,233
I should love it.
965
00:55:57,524 --> 00:56:00,166
If you promise not to discuss the case.
966
00:56:00,201 --> 00:56:01,890
Nothing was further from my mind.
967
00:56:01,925 --> 00:56:02,879
Good!
968
00:56:05,036 --> 00:56:06,009
Champagne of course...
969
00:56:06,549 --> 00:56:09,046
A bottle of Krug '34 to start with.
970
00:56:09,716 --> 00:56:11,238
Keep the usual on the ice for later on.
971
00:56:11,273 --> 00:56:12,761
Women never know the second bottle.
972
00:56:12,796 --> 00:56:14,145
Yes, Mr Simon.
973
00:56:17,219 --> 00:56:18,285
This is a very important date...
974
00:56:18,320 --> 00:56:21,968
So pass the word around to the girls
that I'm not on "hello terms" tonight.
975
00:56:24,887 --> 00:56:26,123
Hello darling!...
976
00:56:26,479 --> 00:56:28,041
Oh... better take that back.
977
00:56:32,175 --> 00:56:33,075
Russell!
978
00:56:33,382 --> 00:56:35,871
Russell, your man told me
I might find you here.
979
00:56:36,279 --> 00:56:37,891
He had no business!
Why aren't you in jail?
980
00:56:37,926 --> 00:56:39,503
That's what I've come
to talk to you about.
981
00:56:39,538 --> 00:56:40,975
Oh, is it?...
Come and have a drink.
982
00:56:43,090 --> 00:56:44,098
I'm getting a little desperate.
983
00:56:44,133 --> 00:56:45,407
It may be easy for people like you...
984
00:56:45,442 --> 00:56:47,749
But I just don't seem to be able
to get into prison.
985
00:56:47,784 --> 00:56:49,667
Don't be silly...
Anyone can!
986
00:56:50,177 --> 00:56:51,267
What's in there?
987
00:56:51,302 --> 00:56:52,357
Oh, burglar tools...
988
00:56:52,855 --> 00:56:54,184
Keep your voice down!
989
00:56:58,119 --> 00:56:59,273
What are you going to do with them?
990
00:57:00,341 --> 00:57:02,544
You see, I thought a little housebreaking
might do the trick.
991
00:57:02,579 --> 00:57:04,085
Well i wish you the best of luck.
992
00:57:04,120 --> 00:57:07,558
The trouble is, some people are inclined to be
a little rough with burglars, and...
993
00:57:08,402 --> 00:57:10,558
Well, I thought, that with
your permission of course
994
00:57:10,593 --> 00:57:12,680
I might break into YOUR flat tonight.
995
00:57:12,715 --> 00:57:14,767
What? That's quite out of the question...
996
00:57:14,802 --> 00:57:16,543
I shall be using it tonight anyway.
997
00:57:16,578 --> 00:57:19,260
All the better... then you can
catch me red-handed.
998
00:57:19,295 --> 00:57:21,883
Now look, old boy... I've got
very important plans for tonight.
999
00:57:21,918 --> 00:57:23,742
Catching burglars isn't one of them.
1000
00:57:23,777 --> 00:57:25,532
You pop off and burgle someone else.
1001
00:57:25,567 --> 00:57:27,829
I couldn't possibly burgle
somebody I didn't know.
1002
00:57:28,302 --> 00:57:29,569
Wouldn't be playing the game.
1003
00:57:30,982 --> 00:57:32,620
Go and pinch a car or something.
1004
00:57:32,655 --> 00:57:36,065
Do you mind awfully... got plans... pop off.
1005
00:57:43,775 --> 00:57:44,772
Lucille darling!
1006
00:57:44,807 --> 00:57:46,249
You look quite heavenly!
1007
00:57:46,833 --> 00:57:48,516
Who on earth was that?
1008
00:57:48,551 --> 00:57:50,569
He's some old crook
with a hard luck story...
1009
00:57:50,604 --> 00:57:53,022
Used to flog petrol coupons...
lives on charity now.
1010
00:57:53,528 --> 00:57:55,085
Costs me a fiver every time I see him.
1011
00:57:57,243 --> 00:57:58,296
You're much too nice, Simon...
1012
00:57:58,696 --> 00:57:59,932
That's your trouble.
1013
00:58:00,487 --> 00:58:01,341
Nonsense!
1014
00:59:13,933 --> 00:59:15,257
These things yours, sir?
1015
00:59:16,350 --> 00:59:19,087
No, no... I borrowed... I... yes.
1016
00:59:19,122 --> 00:59:21,790
Yes, they're my burglar tools.
1017
00:59:21,825 --> 00:59:23,644
Burglar tools... what do you want
with them?
1018
00:59:23,679 --> 00:59:24,938
I refuse to say.
1019
00:59:24,973 --> 00:59:28,565
Well in that case sir, I shall have to ask you
to come along with me to the station.
1020
00:59:30,745 --> 00:59:31,986
I'll take the bag, sir.
1021
00:59:33,225 --> 00:59:33,625
You take the bag.
1022
00:59:48,906 --> 00:59:51,443
Sergeant, I picked this man up
with a set of burglar tools.
1023
00:59:51,478 --> 00:59:53,200
Oh yeah... name?
1024
00:59:55,047 --> 00:59:56,544
So, it's you, you naughty boy.
1025
00:59:57,351 --> 00:59:58,543
After a bit of local colour, eh?
1026
00:59:58,578 --> 01:00:01,755
Now you want to be careful sir,
or you will land yourself in the clink.
1027
01:00:01,793 --> 01:00:02,462
I want...
1028
01:00:02,497 --> 01:00:03,983
That's alright sir, I quite understand.
1029
01:00:04,018 --> 01:00:05,470
It's OK, Cafferty... I know this gentleman.
1030
01:00:05,505 --> 01:00:07,174
Jeremy Sinclair, the famous author.
1031
01:00:08,072 --> 01:00:08,763
You know, sir...
1032
01:00:08,764 --> 01:00:10,998
I've been enjoying that book
of yours very much.
1033
01:00:11,553 --> 01:00:12,907
Very good stuff.
1034
01:00:12,942 --> 01:00:15,596
I'll lay 6 to 1 the referee
murdered the outside left...
1035
01:00:15,631 --> 01:00:16,921
Am I right?
1036
01:00:16,956 --> 01:00:19,200
No, I'm afraid it was the goalkeeper's daughter.
1037
01:00:19,235 --> 01:00:21,507
What? But that's impossible.
1038
01:00:21,542 --> 01:00:22,657
If you don't want me anymore, I'll...
1039
01:00:22,692 --> 01:00:24,851
You run along and drop in
any time you're passing...
1040
01:00:24,886 --> 01:00:25,842
Always welcome.
1041
01:00:26,422 --> 01:00:26,822
Good night.
1042
01:00:27,416 --> 01:00:27,816
One moment sir...
1043
01:00:29,009 --> 01:00:30,769
Might I have your autograph, please.
1044
01:00:40,948 --> 01:00:42,613
Lucille darling... you know, I'm serious...
1045
01:00:42,648 --> 01:00:44,514
This isn't just casual fun.
1046
01:00:47,035 --> 01:00:48,727
Let's sit down, shall we.
1047
01:00:55,705 --> 01:00:57,178
But... what did I do?
1048
01:00:57,618 --> 01:00:58,293
Nothing.
1049
01:00:58,294 --> 01:00:59,362
I swear to you I only...
1050
01:00:59,397 --> 01:01:00,395
Before you say anything more
1051
01:01:00,430 --> 01:01:03,740
I think I'd better tell you something
about myself that you don't know.
1052
01:01:03,775 --> 01:01:04,798
What?
1053
01:01:06,462 --> 01:01:08,045
I've lied to you about myself.
1054
01:01:08,870 --> 01:01:10,799
You mean you're not
what you pretend to be?
1055
01:01:10,834 --> 01:01:11,637
No, I'm a fraud.
1056
01:01:11,672 --> 01:01:12,812
Mr Simon?
1057
01:01:12,847 --> 01:01:15,473
No, hold it Gustav,
I may not be needing that.
1058
01:01:15,508 --> 01:01:17,569
You'd better explain yourself.
1059
01:01:18,779 --> 01:01:19,763
That first day we met...
1060
01:01:19,798 --> 01:01:21,848
I wasn't going to Eton
to see my brother.
1061
01:01:21,883 --> 01:01:22,536
Why not?
1062
01:01:22,537 --> 01:01:24,725
I haven't got a brother at Eton.
1063
01:01:24,760 --> 01:01:27,947
In fact, I haven't got a brother at all.
1064
01:01:27,982 --> 01:01:30,305
I see... so you've been fooling me.
1065
01:01:30,340 --> 01:01:31,266
Why?
1066
01:01:31,655 --> 01:01:35,923
I was on my way to meet the man...
the man my uncle wants me to marry.
1067
01:01:36,896 --> 01:01:40,026
He's rich, a title... everything
a girl could want.
1068
01:01:40,763 --> 01:01:43,026
I didn't want him, even before I met you...
1069
01:01:43,336 --> 01:01:44,764
Then you came along and I...
1070
01:01:45,478 --> 01:01:46,790
Is that all?!
1071
01:01:48,151 --> 01:01:49,918
Gustav... where's that bottle of champagne?
1072
01:01:50,051 --> 01:01:52,026
But I haven't told my uncle yet.
1073
01:01:52,061 --> 01:01:53,091
Or the other man.
1074
01:01:53,126 --> 01:01:56,444
I haven't dared to, until I knew
whether you were serious about me.
1075
01:01:56,479 --> 01:01:59,275
Serious?... but I'm crazy about you!
1076
01:01:59,779 --> 01:02:02,154
Lucille darling, will you marry me?
1077
01:02:03,495 --> 01:02:05,381
Oh, Simon... yes please!
1078
01:02:05,416 --> 01:02:06,378
When will you tell your uncle?
1079
01:02:06,852 --> 01:02:08,227
Would you like me to ring him now?
1080
01:02:08,262 --> 01:02:09,811
Yes, do! I'll come with you.
1081
01:02:09,846 --> 01:02:11,361
I've got a call to make, too.
1082
01:02:12,991 --> 01:02:15,104
Gustav... make that a magnum!
1083
01:02:15,139 --> 01:02:15,994
Very well, sir.
1084
01:02:30,718 --> 01:02:32,952
Darling...
1085
01:02:49,766 --> 01:02:52,285
Benson... it's in the bag!
1086
01:02:52,320 --> 01:02:54,535
Well, put a couple of bottles on the ice
and go to bed.
1087
01:02:55,613 --> 01:02:58,637
My heartiest congratulations, sir...
a notable achievement.
1088
01:03:08,877 --> 01:03:10,506
Hello... Uncle Arthur?
Lucille speaking.
1089
01:03:11,423 --> 01:03:12,536
He's hooked!
1090
01:03:12,571 --> 01:03:14,665
Open up a bottle of champagne
and have one on me.
1091
01:03:14,700 --> 01:03:19,878
My heartiest congratulations, my dear...
Oh, a notable achievement!
1092
01:03:28,891 --> 01:03:30,175
These flowers have just been delivered.
1093
01:03:30,432 --> 01:03:31,565
Who for?
1094
01:03:31,600 --> 01:03:32,653
For you I s'pose.
1095
01:03:32,688 --> 01:03:35,108
Why? I'm not dead yet.
1096
01:03:36,623 --> 01:03:37,750
You sent me those.
1097
01:03:37,785 --> 01:03:38,659
I did no such thing!
1098
01:03:38,694 --> 01:03:39,534
You must have done...
1099
01:03:39,535 --> 01:03:41,350
Nobody likes me enough
to send me flowers.
1100
01:03:43,177 --> 01:03:44,589
Without wishing to appear rude...
1101
01:03:44,624 --> 01:03:47,600
Mr Webb... I don't like you enough either.
1102
01:03:47,992 --> 01:03:50,771
Oh, yes you do... enough to offer me
£1,000 to stay here.
1103
01:03:50,806 --> 01:03:53,159
But don't imagine that smothering me
in blooms is gonna do the trick...
1104
01:03:53,194 --> 01:03:54,621
You'll leave when I want you to leave.
1105
01:03:54,656 --> 01:03:56,475
I've no illusions about that.
1106
01:03:59,732 --> 01:04:00,753
What lovely flowers.
1107
01:04:01,321 --> 01:04:02,750
Give them to me and get a vase
and some water, will you.
1108
01:04:02,785 --> 01:04:03,877
Yes, Miss Webb.
1109
01:04:03,912 --> 01:04:04,970
Who are they from?
1110
01:04:05,534 --> 01:04:07,943
More bribery and corruption
from that idiotic maid.
1111
01:04:08,667 --> 01:04:10,795
Where are you all dolled up
this morning?
1112
01:04:10,830 --> 01:04:12,162
What are you grinning at?
1113
01:04:12,197 --> 01:04:13,494
The flowers are meant for me!
1114
01:04:13,529 --> 01:04:14,189
Who from?
1115
01:04:14,224 --> 01:04:15,488
Your detective.
1116
01:04:15,523 --> 01:04:17,122
Why is he sending you flowers?
1117
01:04:17,157 --> 01:04:18,687
Because he likes me I suppose.
1118
01:04:18,722 --> 01:04:22,150
He's no business liking you.
He's not paid to send you flowers.
1119
01:04:22,185 --> 01:04:23,770
Well he's hoping to buy them.
1120
01:04:23,805 --> 01:04:25,200
This must stop at once!
1121
01:04:25,235 --> 01:04:28,039
He's a perfect right to send me flowers
1122
01:04:28,074 --> 01:04:29,365
And i hope he goes on doing so.
1123
01:04:31,040 --> 01:04:32,862
I was out with him until midnight last night.
1124
01:04:34,464 --> 01:04:35,934
I expect to be much later tonight.
1125
01:04:35,969 --> 01:04:37,576
You'll stay in your room.
1126
01:04:37,611 --> 01:04:39,149
I'm sorry, father... I won't!
1127
01:04:39,184 --> 01:04:41,685
You've successfully wrecked
every chance I ever had.
1128
01:04:41,931 --> 01:04:44,476
We can't go on like that...
It's no good, father.
1129
01:04:44,511 --> 01:04:47,022
You can't want me to
waste my life and become...
1130
01:04:47,452 --> 01:04:49,735
Something like that dreary
old spinster out there.
1131
01:04:57,223 --> 01:04:59,957
While the doctor's upstairs,
I thought you might like a cup of tea.
1132
01:04:59,992 --> 01:05:02,666
Thank you Agnes, that was
very thoughtful of you.
1133
01:05:03,431 --> 01:05:06,790
Miss Webb... I couldn't help overhearing
what you said about me upstairs.
1134
01:05:06,825 --> 01:05:09,042
I'm very sorry, I was overwrought and I...
1135
01:05:09,077 --> 01:05:10,878
Oh, don't apologise... please.
1136
01:05:10,913 --> 01:05:12,680
I know well enough what I am.
1137
01:05:13,732 --> 01:05:16,330
It takes some people a long time
to find out about themselves.
1138
01:05:17,288 --> 01:05:20,084
And when they do... it's too late
to do anything about it.
1139
01:05:20,119 --> 01:05:21,973
It isn't too late for you.
1140
01:05:26,845 --> 01:05:28,104
How is he, Doctor?
1141
01:05:30,002 --> 01:05:32,200
Your father's an old humbug, m'dear.
1142
01:05:32,235 --> 01:05:34,566
He enjoys bad health more
than anyone I know.
1143
01:05:34,601 --> 01:05:36,863
You see the trouble with
these hypochondriacs is
1144
01:05:36,898 --> 01:05:39,168
they can make themselves
just as ill as they want to be.
1145
01:05:39,506 --> 01:05:41,502
He has a dicky heart, there's no denying...
1146
01:05:41,537 --> 01:05:42,515
But it's not going to kill him...
1147
01:05:42,550 --> 01:05:43,863
Unless he wants it to.
1148
01:05:43,898 --> 01:05:44,852
What can I do?
1149
01:05:44,887 --> 01:05:45,893
Be gentle with him.
1150
01:05:45,928 --> 01:05:48,885
Try not to cross him in any way...
That might be dangerous.
1151
01:05:48,920 --> 01:05:50,678
Not much else you can do.
1152
01:05:50,713 --> 01:05:51,351
I see.
1153
01:05:51,386 --> 01:05:53,913
Thank you Doctor, I'll do what you say.
1154
01:05:53,948 --> 01:05:54,807
Goodbye, my dear.
1155
01:05:55,608 --> 01:05:57,178
I'll look in again tonight.
1156
01:05:57,213 --> 01:05:57,879
Yes, Doctor.
1157
01:07:06,676 --> 01:07:07,751
Why... Captain Russell!
1158
01:07:10,424 --> 01:07:12,254
I thought you were going away.
1159
01:07:12,545 --> 01:07:14,570
Yes, I am going very shortly now.
1160
01:07:14,605 --> 01:07:16,595
What on earth have you got there?
1161
01:07:17,194 --> 01:07:18,079
A brick.
1162
01:07:20,307 --> 01:07:22,254
A brick...
1163
01:07:22,289 --> 01:07:23,554
I do hope you'll be back soon...
1164
01:07:23,589 --> 01:07:26,098
I'm just longing to get on with "Blood Lust"...
1165
01:07:26,133 --> 01:07:27,792
The best yet, you know.
1166
01:07:27,827 --> 01:07:28,838
Yes, Sheila.
1167
01:07:30,558 --> 01:07:32,990
That's the first time you've ever
called me Sheila.
1168
01:07:34,004 --> 01:07:34,784
Oh, is it?
1169
01:07:34,987 --> 01:07:37,396
Well, do forgive me,
I'm not feeling very well.
1170
01:07:37,992 --> 01:07:39,876
In fact I'm not myself at all.
1171
01:07:40,681 --> 01:07:41,755
Don't move, Sheila.
1172
01:07:44,089 --> 01:07:44,777
Now listen dear...
1173
01:07:44,778 --> 01:07:46,575
Don't ask any questions
and don't look back...
1174
01:07:46,610 --> 01:07:47,707
I'll explain everything later...
1175
01:07:47,742 --> 01:07:49,880
Please go away quickly Sheila...
as quickly as you can...
1176
01:07:49,915 --> 01:07:50,713
Hurry, dear.
1177
01:07:54,489 --> 01:07:55,212
Deniston!
1178
01:07:57,365 --> 01:07:58,374
Fluffy!
1179
01:07:58,409 --> 01:07:59,721
So this is your Secret Service?
1180
01:07:59,756 --> 01:08:00,999
I haven't gone yet, Fluffy.
1181
01:08:01,034 --> 01:08:03,322
Daddy was quite right...
he warned me!
1182
01:08:03,357 --> 01:08:04,334
Please... listen Fluffy...
1183
01:08:04,369 --> 01:08:05,417
Don't call me that!
1184
01:08:05,452 --> 01:08:06,431
How could you do it?
1185
01:08:06,466 --> 01:08:08,506
You're supposed to be behind
the Iron Curtain... and look at you!
1186
01:08:08,541 --> 01:08:10,485
Who was that woman?
What were you giving her?
1187
01:08:10,520 --> 01:08:12,237
- Nothing dear... nothing...
- Well, what's in that parcel?
1188
01:08:12,272 --> 01:08:13,132
A brick.
1189
01:08:13,167 --> 01:08:15,355
This is no moment
to start being funny.
1190
01:08:15,390 --> 01:08:16,945
You've humiliated me quite enough.
1191
01:08:16,980 --> 01:08:20,096
I shall apply to Commandant Borthwaite
for an immediate posting overseas.
1192
01:08:20,131 --> 01:08:21,267
- Elizabeth...
- No!
1193
01:08:37,346 --> 01:08:38,070
Did you do that?
1194
01:08:38,105 --> 01:08:39,501
Yes, he did... I saw him!
1195
01:08:48,334 --> 01:08:49,108
You?!
1196
01:08:49,673 --> 01:08:50,840
What are you doing here?
1197
01:08:50,875 --> 01:08:52,529
Don't worry, it's nothing to do with you.
1198
01:08:53,473 --> 01:08:54,544
Where's Joan?
1199
01:09:01,426 --> 01:09:02,775
Now what's all this about?
1200
01:09:02,810 --> 01:09:06,284
Please go away...
You've no right to come in here.
1201
01:09:06,942 --> 01:09:09,265
I've every right to know why you're out
every time I telephone.
1202
01:09:10,500 --> 01:09:12,138
Why you lock yourself
up in this dismal house
1203
01:09:12,173 --> 01:09:13,742
as if you were terrified
of the sight of me?
1204
01:09:13,777 --> 01:09:17,468
I just don't want to see you any more,
that's all.
1205
01:09:18,486 --> 01:09:20,483
- Liar!
- Would you please go!
1206
01:09:20,518 --> 01:09:24,873
Oh no! I'm not going to stand by and see you
waste your life on that old fraud upstairs.
1207
01:09:25,084 --> 01:09:26,911
I'm going to see him now.
1208
01:09:30,480 --> 01:09:34,701
Would you please try to understand..
I'm the only one he's got, and I...
1209
01:09:35,608 --> 01:09:36,747
I can't leave him.
1210
01:09:36,782 --> 01:09:38,059
Listen, you little fool...
1211
01:09:38,520 --> 01:09:43,094
I want to marry you so badly, that I'm even
prepared to let your father live with us.
1212
01:09:45,271 --> 01:09:47,505
Ever seen one of these?
1213
01:09:47,540 --> 01:09:49,740
It's a Special Licence.
1214
01:09:51,165 --> 01:09:53,573
And we're going to use it tomorrow.
1215
01:09:53,608 --> 01:09:55,946
Oh no!... He'd never stand the shock!
1216
01:09:55,981 --> 01:09:58,265
Joan, if you don't make up your mind,
it'll be too late.
1217
01:09:58,300 --> 01:10:00,934
Please... could you leave us
alone for a moment.
1218
01:10:03,952 --> 01:10:06,917
Just for a minute... I only want
to help you if I can.
1219
01:10:08,057 --> 01:10:08,769
Please!
1220
01:10:08,804 --> 01:10:11,246
Alright... but only for a moment.
1221
01:10:14,118 --> 01:10:17,827
You probably found out by now
that I live alone on a small income.
1222
01:10:17,862 --> 01:10:21,070
And that I'm rather
a friendless sort of person.
1223
01:10:21,660 --> 01:10:24,279
But perhaps you don't know why.
1224
01:10:25,061 --> 01:10:26,390
The answer's a simple one.
1225
01:10:26,989 --> 01:10:30,285
I sacrificed my youth, like you are doing,
for someone like your father.
1226
01:10:30,943 --> 01:10:33,480
Like you, I received no gratitude...
1227
01:10:33,813 --> 01:10:34,864
No reward.
1228
01:10:35,756 --> 01:10:38,452
Only misery... and loneliness.
1229
01:10:38,487 --> 01:10:41,423
But... someone must look after him.
1230
01:10:41,458 --> 01:10:42,712
I will!
1231
01:10:43,485 --> 01:10:44,349
You?!
1232
01:10:44,384 --> 01:10:47,697
Yes... I'll take care of him
for as long as it's necessary.
1233
01:10:47,732 --> 01:10:49,774
Go and marry your young man...
tomorrow!
1234
01:10:49,809 --> 01:10:51,823
Then come back and worry about
your father.
1235
01:10:51,858 --> 01:10:53,838
- He'd never stand it!
- Yes he will... go on!
1236
01:10:54,862 --> 01:10:56,272
Go on!
1237
01:11:01,263 --> 01:11:02,376
Thanks.
1238
01:11:18,886 --> 01:11:20,477
You're very late this morning.
1239
01:11:20,512 --> 01:11:21,999
A hold-up, I suppose.
1240
01:11:23,976 --> 01:11:25,137
A hold-up... on the train.
1241
01:11:27,967 --> 01:11:29,547
Train... yes.
1242
01:11:57,292 --> 01:11:58,273
Your hat.
1243
01:12:00,000 --> 01:12:01,215
Thank you.
1244
01:12:14,253 --> 01:12:15,690
Good morning Mr Russell.
1245
01:12:17,200 --> 01:12:18,366
Miss Heath...
1246
01:12:21,153 --> 01:12:22,983
Is Mr Wagstaffe alone just now?
1247
01:12:23,018 --> 01:12:24,012
Yes.
1248
01:12:24,047 --> 01:12:25,737
I was afraid he would be.
1249
01:12:26,668 --> 01:12:27,561
What?
1250
01:12:27,596 --> 01:12:30,535
You know he never sees anyone
between 10 and half-past.
1251
01:12:31,658 --> 01:12:34,509
Well I wanted to see him
on rather a personal matter.
1252
01:12:34,544 --> 01:12:36,415
Would you mind stopping
anyone coming in?
1253
01:12:36,450 --> 01:12:39,878
Until I've finished with him.
1254
01:12:39,913 --> 01:12:40,962
Of course.
1255
01:12:40,997 --> 01:12:42,876
Is something on your mind?
1256
01:12:43,794 --> 01:12:45,141
Yes.
1257
01:12:45,327 --> 01:12:48,368
I hope one day you'll let me take you out
to dinner and explain.
1258
01:12:48,403 --> 01:12:49,697
Ask me and see.
1259
01:12:51,190 --> 01:12:55,586
I'll hope you'll come...
after... after...
1260
01:13:21,690 --> 01:13:23,955
But Mr Russell has all day
to badger Mr Wagstaffe.
1261
01:13:23,990 --> 01:13:26,220
These two gentlemen have
an appointment with him.
1262
01:13:26,545 --> 01:13:28,486
I'm sorry, but there's nothing
in the book about it.
1263
01:13:28,521 --> 01:13:29,986
Then you must have forgotten
to put it down.
1264
01:13:30,021 --> 01:13:32,001
This way gentlemen, please.
1265
01:13:38,208 --> 01:13:39,797
You on holidays yet gentlemen?
1266
01:13:41,057 --> 01:13:42,798
I'm going next week... camping.
1267
01:13:42,833 --> 01:13:44,631
Athletic.
1268
01:13:44,666 --> 01:13:47,357
Bit of an amateur boxer.
Two gentlemen to see you sir.
1269
01:13:48,171 --> 01:13:49,217
All right... put 'em up!
1270
01:14:27,623 --> 01:14:29,446
Reach!... Reach for the sky!
1271
01:14:32,045 --> 01:14:33,834
Well done, Russell!
1272
01:14:49,807 --> 01:14:52,447
I levelled the pistol at them...
1273
01:14:52,482 --> 01:14:56,673
and after a brief spot of struggle,
they capitulated.
1274
01:14:56,708 --> 01:14:59,997
Unconditionally, eh? Absolutely terrific,
Mr Russell.
1275
01:15:00,032 --> 01:15:03,252
Now tell me... what are your plans
for the future?
1276
01:15:03,287 --> 01:15:09,102
Well, I understand I'm to be offered
a branch managership... immediately.
1277
01:15:09,137 --> 01:15:10,362
Absolutely terrific.
1278
01:15:10,397 --> 01:15:14,599
Now tell me... one last question...
why do you carry a water pistol?
1279
01:15:19,357 --> 01:15:24,064
Well... it was...
1280
01:15:24,099 --> 01:15:26,936
It was a sort of... surprise for somebody.
1281
01:15:27,535 --> 01:15:29,018
Absolutely terrific.
1282
01:15:33,011 --> 01:15:35,491
Your family's getting up to some
funny pranks these days, eh?
1283
01:15:35,526 --> 01:15:36,711
I've brought you the evening papers.
1284
01:15:36,746 --> 01:15:37,385
Thank you.
1285
01:15:37,386 --> 01:15:38,575
Where's that daughter of mine?
1286
01:15:38,610 --> 01:15:39,863
She should have been back hours ago.
1287
01:15:39,898 --> 01:15:40,668
She's here now.
1288
01:15:40,703 --> 01:15:43,243
She wants you to meet her husband
before they go away.
1289
01:15:45,604 --> 01:15:46,171
What did you say?
1290
01:15:46,172 --> 01:15:48,916
She's just married that young detective
you hired to spy up on me.
1291
01:15:50,031 --> 01:15:52,627
She's... married... detective?
1292
01:15:54,243 --> 01:15:55,453
This is YOUR doing!
1293
01:15:55,488 --> 01:15:56,629
No... it's yours.
1294
01:15:56,664 --> 01:15:57,948
You brought him into the house.
1295
01:16:04,368 --> 01:16:05,941
You needn't put on a show for ME.
1296
01:16:06,335 --> 01:16:09,139
Because I shan't send for the doctor
even if you do.
1297
01:16:09,174 --> 01:16:11,184
- How dare you!
- Now, now, now!
1298
01:16:11,219 --> 01:16:13,449
As far as you're concerned,
there's no need to worry.
1299
01:16:13,484 --> 01:16:17,955
Because I've promised your daughter to stay here
with you for as long as it may be necessary.
1300
01:16:18,666 --> 01:16:19,973
Smile, Mr Webb...
1301
01:16:20,683 --> 01:16:22,839
Look... over there.
1302
01:16:35,366 --> 01:16:37,163
Congratulations, my dear!
1303
01:16:37,198 --> 01:16:40,033
I hope he makes a better husband
than he does a detective.
1304
01:16:40,068 --> 01:16:41,300
Oh, thank you, daddy!
1305
01:16:41,335 --> 01:16:42,532
I was so worried.
1306
01:16:42,694 --> 01:16:44,391
Very foolish f you...
You don't have to worry...
1307
01:16:44,426 --> 01:16:46,697
It's poor "Bertha" who must bear the brunt.
1308
01:16:46,732 --> 01:16:48,874
It won't be for long, daddy...
and then you'll come and live with us.
1309
01:16:48,909 --> 01:16:51,579
Live with a detective?
I'd never feel safe.
1310
01:16:53,949 --> 01:16:55,065
Remarkably kind of you.
1311
01:16:55,100 --> 01:16:56,987
Daddy, we must fly... our train leaves
in half an hour.
1312
01:16:58,164 --> 01:16:59,805
- I'll look after her, sir.
- You'd better.
1313
01:16:59,840 --> 01:17:01,390
Thank you, Agnes, for everything.
1314
01:17:01,425 --> 01:17:02,923
- Good luck.
- Thanks.
1315
01:17:15,211 --> 01:17:16,505
Touching little scene!
1316
01:17:16,540 --> 01:17:17,797
Thank you for taking it so well.
1317
01:17:19,139 --> 01:17:21,216
I'm never one to shut the door
after the horse has bolted.
1318
01:17:22,158 --> 01:17:24,480
But I'm sometimes liable to look
a gift horse in the mouth.
1319
01:17:25,269 --> 01:17:28,738
That was a noble gesture of yours...
offering to stay indefinitely
1320
01:17:28,773 --> 01:17:30,637
with an unpleasant old man like me.
1321
01:17:30,672 --> 01:17:32,502
I've made 2 such gestures in my life.
1322
01:17:32,950 --> 01:17:34,348
I was happy to do it.
1323
01:17:35,521 --> 01:17:37,541
It was only necessary for you
to stay a month, wasn't it?
1324
01:17:37,576 --> 01:17:38,240
Yes.
1325
01:17:38,241 --> 01:17:41,980
Well, I don't think such unselfishness
should go unrewarded...
1326
01:17:42,015 --> 01:17:44,296
I'm prepared to make a sacrifice, too...
1327
01:17:44,331 --> 01:17:46,577
And do without you and your £1,000...
1328
01:17:46,612 --> 01:17:48,215
You're fired, Miss Russell!
1329
01:17:48,250 --> 01:17:49,818
Pack your bags and go now.
1330
01:17:51,579 --> 01:17:52,910
I might have expected that.
1331
01:17:52,945 --> 01:17:54,241
Aye... I think you might.
1332
01:17:55,189 --> 01:17:57,960
I don't know what you're losing...
but it must be worth a lot.
1333
01:17:57,995 --> 01:18:01,131
It was... but I think I've gained more.
1334
01:18:01,166 --> 01:18:02,745
In other ways.
1335
01:18:03,969 --> 01:18:04,756
Goodbye Mr Webb.
1336
01:18:08,164 --> 01:18:10,686
And congratulations.
1337
01:18:20,375 --> 01:18:22,629
Enjoy your weekend?
You're for the 'igh jump.
1338
01:18:22,664 --> 01:18:25,457
There's a new beak on the bench today...
he's up from the East End court...
1339
01:18:25,492 --> 01:18:26,718
Prob'ly have a down
on the upper classes.
1340
01:18:41,695 --> 01:18:43,305
No. 1 on your list...
1341
01:18:43,340 --> 01:18:44,916
Deniston Russell.
1342
01:18:54,338 --> 01:18:54,881
Excuse me...
1343
01:18:54,882 --> 01:18:56,735
Here... what are you doing?
- It's alright...
1344
01:18:56,770 --> 01:18:58,589
I think I've changed my mind...
I'm innocent.
1345
01:18:58,624 --> 01:19:00,931
I know... I know.
1346
01:19:05,036 --> 01:19:06,515
James Deniston Russell...
1347
01:19:06,550 --> 01:19:08,896
You are charged that on the 14th instant
1348
01:19:08,931 --> 01:19:11,436
at No. 121 Mayfair Street...
1349
01:19:11,471 --> 01:19:16,684
You caused wilful damage to a plate glass window,
valued at £15.
1350
01:19:17,081 --> 01:19:20,533
You are further charged that you did
at the same time, date and place
1351
01:19:20,568 --> 01:19:24,351
assault Charles Baker, a constable
in the Metropolitan Police,
1352
01:19:24,386 --> 01:19:26,257
by striking him with your umbrella.
1353
01:19:28,139 --> 01:19:29,867
Do you plead guilty or not guilty?
1354
01:19:33,456 --> 01:19:35,151
Do you plead guilty or not guilty?
1355
01:19:36,480 --> 01:19:41,995
Well... it's true that certain unfortunate circumstances
did force me into certain actions.
1356
01:19:42,995 --> 01:19:46,235
But I mean, if I'd dreamt that I'd be
meeting you, Sir Charles...
1357
01:19:46,270 --> 01:19:47,714
Or dear Elizabeth...
1358
01:19:47,749 --> 01:19:49,535
We shall take that as a plea of Not Guilty.
1359
01:19:52,137 --> 01:19:54,453
I swear by almighty God, that
the evidence I shall give the court
1360
01:19:54,488 --> 01:19:56,769
shall be the truth, the whole truth
and nothing but the truth.
1361
01:19:56,804 --> 01:19:59,824
Charles Baker, Police Constable 149, please...
1362
01:20:02,714 --> 01:20:03,975
You mustn't come in here.
1363
01:20:04,010 --> 01:20:05,845
You can't put me off like that!
1364
01:20:05,880 --> 01:20:07,681
- He's innocent.
- They all are!
1365
01:20:07,716 --> 01:20:09,337
I want to give evidence.
1366
01:20:09,372 --> 01:20:11,896
Well, if you just wait a moment,
I'll see what I can do.
1367
01:20:11,931 --> 01:20:14,421
The accused thereupon assaulted me
in the course of my duty
1368
01:20:14,456 --> 01:20:16,584
by striking me with his umbrella,
your worship.
1369
01:20:17,177 --> 01:20:19,663
You heard the constable's evidence,
Captain Russell...
1370
01:20:19,698 --> 01:20:22,145
Do you wish to ask him
any questions on it?
1371
01:20:22,807 --> 01:20:25,063
Oh, no, no, no... thank you.
1372
01:20:25,098 --> 01:20:27,389
Have you anything you wish to say?
1373
01:20:27,424 --> 01:20:29,863
No, no... not at present.
1374
01:20:30,389 --> 01:20:34,178
Although I'll be most happy to explain it all
to you personally in 28 days time.
1375
01:20:34,213 --> 01:20:37,253
Now is the time, if you want to say
anything at all.
1376
01:20:37,288 --> 01:20:39,609
Have you no witnesses you wish to call?
1377
01:20:41,064 --> 01:20:44,421
Excuse me sir... there's a lady outside
who'd like to give evidence on his behalf.
1378
01:20:44,456 --> 01:20:46,082
Call her then... call her!
1379
01:20:48,963 --> 01:20:52,045
Captain Russell, you poor dear...
what are they doing to you?
1380
01:20:52,494 --> 01:20:54,493
Don't you worry,
I'll get you out of here.
1381
01:20:54,612 --> 01:20:57,173
No, no, no, no... please... please!
1382
01:20:58,366 --> 01:21:00,714
Take the Book in the right hand
and read what it says on the card.
1383
01:21:00,749 --> 01:21:03,239
I swear by Almighty God to tell the truth,
the whole truth and nothing but the truth
1384
01:21:03,274 --> 01:21:07,305
so help me God... Sheila Wilcott, 21 Juniper Drive, Ealing,
secretary to the Captain here.
1385
01:21:07,340 --> 01:21:09,226
I don't know what you think he's done
but it's all a lie!
1386
01:21:11,055 --> 01:21:11,777
Quiet!
1387
01:21:12,834 --> 01:21:13,452
It's a lie.
1388
01:21:13,453 --> 01:21:17,742
Captain Russell admits throwing a brick
through a shop window, Miss Wilcott.
1389
01:21:17,777 --> 01:21:21,092
Well then, he's suffering from strain
and overwork.
1390
01:21:21,127 --> 01:21:22,047
I always said he would.
1391
01:21:22,082 --> 01:21:24,181
It's medical attention he needs,
not this.
1392
01:21:24,216 --> 01:21:28,076
Just a minute, I understood he retired
from the army 5 years ago
1393
01:21:28,111 --> 01:21:29,434
and has had no employment since.
1394
01:21:29,469 --> 01:21:32,507
That's because he's too retiring
to talk about it.
1395
01:21:33,856 --> 01:21:37,878
Captain Russell is one of the most
successful writers of the age.
1396
01:21:37,913 --> 01:21:39,486
Writers? What's he write?
1397
01:21:40,447 --> 01:21:41,119
Books!
1398
01:21:41,120 --> 01:21:42,082
Lots of them!
1399
01:21:43,966 --> 01:21:45,973
I read a good deal... I've never heard of him.
1400
01:21:46,008 --> 01:21:47,946
No, you wouldn't... not by Captain Russell.
1401
01:21:47,981 --> 01:21:53,525
But you've no doubt heard of Merton Somersby,
Jeremy Sinclair... and Gloria Trubshaw!
1402
01:21:58,058 --> 01:21:59,139
Gloria Trubshaw?!
1403
01:21:59,174 --> 01:21:59,879
Who's she?
1404
01:22:00,751 --> 01:22:01,872
What's she got to do with it?
1405
01:22:02,817 --> 01:22:04,823
It's one of the captain's names, sir.
1406
01:22:04,858 --> 01:22:06,115
Alias, you say?
1407
01:22:06,913 --> 01:22:09,239
Here's "Bloody Justice" for you.
1408
01:22:10,765 --> 01:22:11,455
What's that?!
1409
01:22:11,490 --> 01:22:12,472
"Bloody Justice. "
1410
01:22:12,983 --> 01:22:13,757
Give it to me.
1411
01:22:15,540 --> 01:22:16,296
Thank you.
1412
01:22:17,291 --> 01:22:20,314
"Bloody Justice"?
By Gloria Trubshaw...
1413
01:22:21,323 --> 01:22:23,335
Do you admit to writing this, Miss Trubshaw?
1414
01:22:23,985 --> 01:22:25,243
I mean Capt. Russell.
1415
01:22:31,685 --> 01:22:33,102
I thank you Miss Wilcott...
1416
01:22:33,137 --> 01:22:35,222
I admire your spirit in coming here.
1417
01:22:35,257 --> 01:22:41,211
But the fact that Capt. Russell has written...
these things... does not alter the facts of the case.
1418
01:22:42,211 --> 01:22:45,244
Though my own private view is
that this type of literature
1419
01:22:45,279 --> 01:22:47,329
encourages hooliganism and crime.
1420
01:22:47,364 --> 01:22:49,345
You're wrong! Just because...
1421
01:22:49,380 --> 01:22:51,374
Thank you Miss Wilcott, I'm much obliged.
1422
01:22:51,409 --> 01:22:52,632
But you don't understand!
1423
01:22:52,667 --> 01:22:53,779
I'm much obliged.
1424
01:23:00,506 --> 01:23:02,598
Don't take any notice of them.
1425
01:23:02,633 --> 01:23:04,684
I find the case proved...
Anything previous?
1426
01:23:04,719 --> 01:23:06,701
No sir. He had an excellent record in the army.
1427
01:23:06,736 --> 01:23:09,420
It's a tragedy to see a man in your position
standing in this court.
1428
01:23:09,455 --> 01:23:12,411
Had you shown the slightest desire
to defend yourself...
1429
01:23:12,446 --> 01:23:14,928
I might have been able to take
a different course.
1430
01:23:14,963 --> 01:23:17,411
However, I have no option
but to send you to prison.
1431
01:23:17,858 --> 01:23:21,923
You may not realise it, but it's in my power
to send you away for at least 3 months.
1432
01:23:24,279 --> 01:23:30,106
However I'm inclined to think that a total
of 14 days in jail will probably be enough.
1433
01:23:30,778 --> 01:23:31,671
14 days?
1434
01:23:32,702 --> 01:23:33,867
Oh, but that's not enough.
1435
01:23:36,227 --> 01:23:37,424
Did you say something?
1436
01:23:38,278 --> 01:23:43,041
Yes... I said you were a pompous ass.
1437
01:23:44,033 --> 01:23:48,535
Very well... 14 days on the first charge
and 7 on the second.
1438
01:23:49,345 --> 01:23:51,029
21 days in all!
1439
01:23:52,428 --> 01:23:53,265
That's still not enough.
1440
01:23:54,567 --> 01:23:57,068
"Pompous ass" I said...
and "pompous ass" I meant.
1441
01:23:58,080 --> 01:24:01,933
You're not fit to conduct a bus,
let alone a court of justice.
1442
01:24:01,968 --> 01:24:05,011
And a further 7 days for contempt of court.
1443
01:24:06,113 --> 01:24:10,596
With sentences to run consecutively.
28 days in all!
1444
01:24:11,353 --> 01:24:12,138
28 days!
1445
01:24:13,279 --> 01:24:16,029
Thank you, Sir Charles, very much.
1446
01:24:16,064 --> 01:24:17,455
I'm terribly sorry.
1447
01:24:18,691 --> 01:24:21,925
I suggest he's medically examined
by the prison doctor.
1448
01:24:21,960 --> 01:24:25,159
No, no... no need for that Sir Charles,
I assure you.
1449
01:24:25,194 --> 01:24:26,076
Take him away!
1450
01:24:26,805 --> 01:24:28,133
Take him away!
1451
01:24:35,387 --> 01:24:36,451
Elizabeth...
1452
01:24:36,486 --> 01:24:37,481
Yes, Deniston...
1453
01:24:37,516 --> 01:24:39,261
I want to give you this.
1454
01:24:41,859 --> 01:24:43,571
Oh, Elizabeth...
1455
01:24:43,606 --> 01:24:46,139
I have permission to see you, because
there's something I want to say.
1456
01:24:46,578 --> 01:24:48,041
Please... please... listen, Elizabeth...
1457
01:24:51,929 --> 01:24:55,051
Or for that matter, what it would have cost
if I hadn't been...
1458
01:24:55,086 --> 01:24:59,619
But I promise you, that in one month
you'll understand the awful predicament I was in.
1459
01:24:59,654 --> 01:25:03,238
I have no wish to hear your excuses
now or any other time.
1460
01:25:04,812 --> 01:25:09,034
Apart from behaving like a complete rotter
to poor darling daddykins...
1461
01:25:09,069 --> 01:25:12,914
I couldn't possibly marry someone
who's deceived me.
1462
01:25:14,057 --> 01:25:14,827
Deceived you?
1463
01:25:16,625 --> 01:25:18,390
Oh, but I haven't.
1464
01:25:18,425 --> 01:25:19,903
I mean about your profession.
1465
01:25:19,938 --> 01:25:24,601
I could never marry a man who
earns his living in such a low way.
1466
01:25:25,061 --> 01:25:26,644
If I found one of my girls
reading such rubbish...
1467
01:25:27,310 --> 01:25:28,916
I'd punish her!
1468
01:25:28,951 --> 01:25:30,523
It's trash!
1469
01:25:32,806 --> 01:25:35,369
Alright... trash it is...
1470
01:25:36,796 --> 01:25:39,177
But at least it doesn't pretend
to be important.
1471
01:25:40,910 --> 01:25:43,468
Perhaps I'd be happier with someone
who thinks that what I do is good.
1472
01:25:44,462 --> 01:25:45,716
Even if it isn't.
1473
01:25:57,423 --> 01:26:00,339
Alright constable...
I've finished with him!
1474
01:26:00,374 --> 01:26:02,534
You can take him away.
1475
01:26:02,569 --> 01:26:04,694
Yessir... I mean ma'am.
1476
01:26:04,729 --> 01:26:06,499
Come along, then.
1477
01:26:21,346 --> 01:26:22,636
Keep your chin up!
1478
01:26:23,617 --> 01:26:24,638
It won't be long!
1479
01:26:24,673 --> 01:26:25,659
Of course it won't!
1480
01:26:26,506 --> 01:26:27,758
And then back to "Blood Lust"!
1481
01:26:27,793 --> 01:26:29,123
Yes! "Blood Lust"!
1482
01:26:29,158 --> 01:26:30,649
We'll finish it together!
1483
01:26:35,139 --> 01:26:36,371
What are you looking so happy about?
1484
01:26:36,724 --> 01:26:37,548
Oh, why not?
1485
01:26:39,194 --> 01:26:40,529
It's the happiest day of my life!
1486
01:26:41,496 --> 01:26:43,425
It's the happiest day of my life, Mrs Russell!
1487
01:26:48,881 --> 01:26:53,521
If I may say so, sir... it's an honour
to be a witness on such a happy occasion.
1488
01:26:53,556 --> 01:26:55,980
Dear old Benson... you know I wouldn't
have had any other witness.
1489
01:26:56,015 --> 01:26:57,353
You've no idea of the scrapes
he's got me out of.
1490
01:26:57,388 --> 01:26:59,302
If it hadn't been for Benson,
I wouldn't be with you now.
1491
01:26:59,337 --> 01:27:00,729
I can believe you, darling.
1492
01:27:00,764 --> 01:27:03,302
See you in a couple of weeks then...
and thanks for everything.
1493
01:27:03,337 --> 01:27:04,718
And thank you for everything, too.
1494
01:27:07,920 --> 01:27:10,907
I wish you every happiness... Mrs Russell.
1495
01:27:10,942 --> 01:27:11,643
Thank you.
1496
01:27:17,361 --> 01:27:18,600
And have a jolly good time!
1497
01:27:18,635 --> 01:27:20,054
I hope!
1498
01:27:21,925 --> 01:27:23,263
Don't think me fussy old girl...
1499
01:27:23,298 --> 01:27:25,885
but I shouldn't make a habit
of kissing Benson.
1500
01:27:25,920 --> 01:27:28,099
Why not, darling...
he's my uncle.
1501
01:27:29,491 --> 01:27:30,558
What?!
1502
01:27:30,593 --> 01:27:31,837
Benson's your uncle?!
1503
01:27:31,872 --> 01:27:34,090
Yes, my mother's brother...
didn't I tell you?
1504
01:27:34,125 --> 01:27:38,591
But you... cheating little fraud!
1505
01:27:38,626 --> 01:27:40,614
Oh, we both are, darling!
1506
01:27:40,649 --> 01:27:42,603
We're going to get on fine.
1507
01:27:48,398 --> 01:27:48,775
Oh, ma'am...
1508
01:27:48,776 --> 01:27:49,871
Yes?
1509
01:27:50,447 --> 01:27:51,503
I'm going out now Ethel.
1510
01:27:51,538 --> 01:27:53,232
Will you be back for dinner tonight, ma'am?
1511
01:27:53,267 --> 01:27:54,846
Yes, I'll be back.
1512
01:27:54,881 --> 01:27:56,448
I've nothing to celebrate.
1513
01:27:56,483 --> 01:27:58,196
Today I might have claimed a fortune.
1514
01:27:58,604 --> 01:27:59,411
But I can't.
1515
01:28:00,166 --> 01:28:01,180
Alright, Ethel...
1516
01:28:08,589 --> 01:28:10,320
What are YOU doing here?
1517
01:28:11,552 --> 01:28:15,961
I thought I'd just walk round and see you.
1518
01:28:16,840 --> 01:28:17,544
Why?
1519
01:28:17,579 --> 01:28:20,418
I wondered if maybe you'd be so kind
as to come and have a meal with me.
1520
01:28:21,348 --> 01:28:22,032
Why?
1521
01:28:22,033 --> 01:28:23,690
Call it a Celtic conscience.
1522
01:28:24,109 --> 01:28:26,941
I know you sacrificed a lot
to put my girl on her feet.
1523
01:28:26,976 --> 01:28:28,715
Yes... a fortune.
1524
01:28:28,750 --> 01:28:31,796
Though if you've any ideas
about claiming that £1,000...
1525
01:28:31,831 --> 01:28:33,070
No... good gracious, no...
1526
01:28:33,105 --> 01:28:34,275
I've freights of money...
1527
01:28:34,310 --> 01:28:36,071
and nobody to spend it on but myself.
1528
01:28:37,256 --> 01:28:40,082
You know it's a gloomy discovery to make...
but there's not a soul in the world
1529
01:28:40,117 --> 01:28:41,689
that wants to dine with me.
1530
01:28:42,430 --> 01:28:43,176
Won't you help me out?
1531
01:28:44,295 --> 01:28:45,295
Please.
1532
01:28:48,901 --> 01:28:50,548
Is there any reason why I should?
1533
01:28:51,671 --> 01:28:53,075
None whatsoever.
1534
01:28:54,849 --> 01:28:55,997
Ethel!...
1535
01:28:56,032 --> 01:28:57,423
I shan't be in to dinner tonight.
1536
01:28:58,141 --> 01:28:59,179
Thank you!
1537
01:29:04,173 --> 01:29:05,734
The deceased left a sealed letter
1538
01:29:05,769 --> 01:29:08,844
with instructions that it should not be
opened or read
1539
01:29:08,879 --> 01:29:11,918
until you had all completed your tasks.
1540
01:29:11,953 --> 01:29:14,338
I will now proceed to read it.
1541
01:29:15,976 --> 01:29:19,106
I trust that you've all gained something
from the tasks I set you...
1542
01:29:19,141 --> 01:29:22,470
apart from the material consideration involved...
1543
01:29:22,505 --> 01:29:25,538
I have always been a practical joker...
1544
01:29:25,573 --> 01:29:29,547
but practically all my jokes
have had some practical intent...
1545
01:29:29,582 --> 01:29:31,971
What a complicated sentence!
1546
01:29:32,704 --> 01:29:37,804
As the one who failed, I'd like to say at once
how deeply grateful I am to my brother
1547
01:29:37,839 --> 01:29:42,248
for giving me a measure of happiness
I never dreamt of finding in this world.
1548
01:29:42,283 --> 01:29:44,729
Well now, cousin Agnes,
I'd like to second that.
1549
01:29:45,753 --> 01:29:49,279
True, I win my fortune, but I also
benefitted enormously.
1550
01:29:49,314 --> 01:29:51,786
In other ways.
1551
01:29:51,821 --> 01:29:54,664
Here! Here!... I feel a new man too!
1552
01:29:54,699 --> 01:29:57,472
Well, jolly good luck to you all.
1553
01:29:57,507 --> 01:30:00,380
But I don't mind saying that the cash
is my one consolation.
1554
01:30:00,415 --> 01:30:04,222
And knowing my dear wife...
well that's not going to last very long.
1555
01:30:04,257 --> 01:30:06,095
If I might be able to continue, please.
1556
01:30:06,701 --> 01:30:09,868
I sincerely hope that you've all gained
a little something
1557
01:30:09,903 --> 01:30:12,061
for now comes the biggest joke of all...
1558
01:30:12,935 --> 01:30:15,506
I died, flat b...
1559
01:30:17,709 --> 01:30:19,926
Flat...
1560
01:30:19,961 --> 01:30:21,045
Not... broke?!
1561
01:30:21,080 --> 01:30:23,792
Broke... that's it... flat broke!
1562
01:30:23,827 --> 01:30:26,504
There isn't a penny for any of you.
1563
01:31:14,093 --> 01:31:15,431
Good.
111342
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