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Sex Mad
a. k.a How Funny Can Sex Be?
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Subtitled By SL Handy
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- Domenico, have you brought tea of coffee?
- Coffee, Madam.
6
00:01:58,960 --> 00:02:02,495
- But I asked for tea.
- No, you asked for coffee.
7
00:02:03,047 --> 00:02:07,293
- I said tea! Understand?
- Very good, Madam.
8
00:02:14,181 --> 00:02:18,345
Domenico! The bath towel, please.
9
00:02:26,442 --> 00:02:30,688
- Just leave it!
- It's trapped, Madame.
10
00:02:42,497 --> 00:02:44,987
Give me a light massage.
11
00:02:55,049 --> 00:02:57,622
Good, that's enough, Domenico.
12
00:03:07,435 --> 00:03:10,186
Madame, the coffee is getting cold.
13
00:03:15,817 --> 00:03:18,603
- May I serve, Madame?.
- Yes.
14
00:03:23,406 --> 00:03:26,608
Made in true Brazilian style
15
00:03:27,118 --> 00:03:31,411
- Domenico! What are thinking of?
- Of my mother, Madame.
16
00:03:32,206 --> 00:03:36,417
- Think of her elsewhere.
- Excuse me. I think of her always.
17
00:03:37,293 --> 00:03:40,958
I am sorry.
An unforgivable lapse.
18
00:03:47,718 --> 00:03:51,418
- When did you say you were leaving, dearest?
- At 20:00.
19
00:03:51,972 --> 00:03:55,305
Let's hope there isn't a storm
like last night.
20
00:03:55,809 --> 00:03:59,676
- There was a storm?
- Yes. Don't tell me you didn't you hear it.
21
00:04:00,270 --> 00:04:05,513
- I didn't hear it.
- But, it would have woken a corpse.
22
00:04:06,985 --> 00:04:11,895
It must be my medicine,
I can't even rise in the morning.
23
00:04:12,739 --> 00:04:14,897
Champagne, Sir?
24
00:04:15,241 --> 00:04:19,238
Watch you don't make another mess.
Don't think of your mother!
25
00:04:48,436 --> 00:04:49,467
Did you call?
26
00:04:50,021 --> 00:04:56,983
Yes. Wake me at 05:00 precisely, I must
accompany my husband to the airport.
27
00:04:57,985 --> 00:05:00,274
Very good, Madam.
28
00:05:30,263 --> 00:05:33,512
Madam, it's 05:00.
29
00:05:34,975 --> 00:05:37,976
Madam, it's 05:00.
30
00:05:39,938 --> 00:05:43,721
Madam, it is 05:00.
31
00:05:57,453 --> 00:06:02,244
Madam... Madam Juliette...
32
00:06:03,916 --> 00:06:07,083
Madam, it's five o'clock!
33
00:06:08,211 --> 00:06:11,876
He said he called me at five
But I slept until six.
34
00:06:12,423 --> 00:06:16,965
- He forgot to call me!
- But he's such a dedicated boy.
35
00:06:17,636 --> 00:06:21,882
He's indiscreet. I can feel his eyes on me.
36
00:06:22,515 --> 00:06:25,385
All servants fall in love with
their masters
37
00:06:25,810 --> 00:06:30,187
- What about the one we used to have?
- Oh, she was interested in me!
38
00:06:30,814 --> 00:06:34,514
She always stole my silk stockings.
39
00:06:35,068 --> 00:06:37,190
Au revoir, my sweet.
40
00:06:38,820 --> 00:06:41,442
Au revoir, dearest.
41
00:06:47,036 --> 00:06:51,496
Coca Cola: 21,000
General Motors: 26,400
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00:06:52,123 --> 00:06:56,038
Hatu: 32,000
Kawasaki: 36,200
43
00:06:56,627 --> 00:07:00,162
Montedison: 20
Ford: 48,000.
44
00:07:00,672 --> 00:07:06,258
Alfasud: 3... Christ!
Franco: up 15, lira
45
00:07:07,053 --> 00:07:10,836
- That's enough. Switch.
- Ok switching.
46
00:07:13,224 --> 00:07:17,553
Berna:
A 32 year old Italian worker...
47
00:07:21,982 --> 00:07:26,062
.. stabbed his wife's lover...
Nice work!
48
00:07:26,694 --> 00:07:30,643
- That's enough, Domenico. Good night.
- Good night.
49
00:07:32,783 --> 00:07:34,941
- Go!
- I go.
50
00:07:37,953 --> 00:07:42,366
- Domenico!
Don't forget to water the flowers.
51
00:07:44,084 --> 00:07:48,709
- Very good, Madam.
- Domenico! - Yes, Madam.
52
00:07:49,922 --> 00:07:53,373
Wake me at 08:00 tomorrow.
Goodnight.
53
00:07:53,925 --> 00:07:57,792
Eight o'clock on the dot.
Good night, Madam.
54
00:09:30,173 --> 00:09:32,842
Madam, it's 08:00.
55
00:09:37,470 --> 00:09:41,089
It's 08:00!
The tea is ready!
56
00:09:46,812 --> 00:09:50,476
Madam! Madam, it's 08:00!
57
00:09:57,154 --> 00:10:02,693
Excuse me... Excuse my...
impertinence, but it's 08:00.
58
00:10:08,163 --> 00:10:11,531
Be calm,
I won't dirty the sheets.
59
00:10:13,709 --> 00:10:16,461
Can you hear me, it's 8:00, Madam?
60
00:10:20,382 --> 00:10:23,003
What a tit...!
It's 08:00, Madam.
61
00:10:23,384 --> 00:10:28,425
Oh God, I want you!
Dirty whore! My mistress!
62
00:10:30,431 --> 00:10:36,552
Show me...
Your pubis...
63
00:10:37,980 --> 00:10:40,435
Don't look. Cuckold!
64
00:10:42,442 --> 00:10:45,313
Excuse me, Madam, but it's 08:00.
65
00:10:45,736 --> 00:10:49,816
I... Madam... Must dare a little more...
66
00:10:50,448 --> 00:10:55,608
Pardon, Madam, it's 08:00,
but don't wake, please.
67
00:11:07,588 --> 00:11:09,711
I was very quick.
68
00:11:15,637 --> 00:11:18,590
Madam, it's 08:00.
69
00:11:25,436 --> 00:11:27,263
Madam...
70
00:11:31,859 --> 00:11:34,978
Good morning, Madam.
Did you sleep well?
71
00:11:43,618 --> 00:11:47,995
- What time is it, Domenico?
- A couple of minutes past 08:00 Madam.
72
00:12:11,808 --> 00:12:15,308
- Breakfast, Madam.
- Thank you, Domenico.
73
00:12:15,812 --> 00:12:19,062
When you woke me,
I'd just gone to sleep
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00:12:19,566 --> 00:12:22,519
- I didn't close my eyes all night.
- I'm sorry, Madam.
75
00:12:22,985 --> 00:12:27,148
- I'm going to take a nap. Wake me at 11:00.
- Very good.
76
00:12:27,781 --> 00:12:32,358
- Domenico, where are you going? Breakfast!
- You're right!
77
00:12:35,162 --> 00:12:38,163
But, Domenico!
Pay attention!
78
00:12:39,958 --> 00:12:42,958
What have you brought me?
I said tea!
79
00:12:43,753 --> 00:12:46,706
Domenico, what's come over you?
80
00:12:49,633 --> 00:12:52,633
Two Hearts and a Shack
81
00:13:05,354 --> 00:13:07,145
For Sale
82
00:13:08,482 --> 00:13:12,063
Shit!
No one's going to buy it, now!
83
00:13:39,007 --> 00:13:43,087
- Daddy!
- Spying, are you? You know that's naughty!
84
00:13:45,221 --> 00:13:48,056
- What did Mummy do today?
- Nothing.
85
00:13:48,473 --> 00:13:52,518
- And no one came while I was away?
- Who should come?
86
00:13:53,103 --> 00:13:57,265
- I ask the questions, you answer!
- No one.
87
00:13:58,148 --> 00:14:02,395
Ok, let's go.
Don't make a sound.
88
00:14:07,156 --> 00:14:08,983
Stay!
89
00:14:11,493 --> 00:14:13,734
Get in.
90
00:14:17,039 --> 00:14:20,206
No need to call the carpenter, right!
91
00:14:24,754 --> 00:14:27,838
'War' with one 'R'
Ignorant!
92
00:14:28,298 --> 00:14:32,675
Preparing dinner at the last moment.
What do you do all day?
93
00:14:33,303 --> 00:14:35,841
And you smoke your pipe!
Go on, set the house a light!
94
00:14:36,222 --> 00:14:40,599
With all the manicures and canasta,
time passes so quickly
95
00:14:46,522 --> 00:14:50,140
- So you want to argue?
- Oh, of course!
96
00:14:50,692 --> 00:14:54,559
I saw that lipstick on your shirt,
but you think I'll keep quiet about it.
97
00:14:55,155 --> 00:14:57,361
- Which shirt?
- The red one.
98
00:14:57,699 --> 00:15:01,446
- The ladies haven't used lipstick in years.
- Oh, it was an old mark.
99
00:15:01,993 --> 00:15:07,201
It's the old trick! When you've
something to hide, you attack me!
100
00:15:08,374 --> 00:15:10,864
Because you don't want to pay your due.
101
00:15:11,251 --> 00:15:14,371
You wore the new dress?
Where've you been? Shame on you!
102
00:15:14,838 --> 00:15:19,749
To get medicine for Claudio.
He's got a cough.
103
00:15:20,468 --> 00:15:25,544
Oh, give up this crap, will you!
Why not send him?
104
00:15:26,264 --> 00:15:29,218
They won't give it to him for nothing!
105
00:15:29,684 --> 00:15:34,096
Right, you can play the "little pigeon"
with the pharmacist
106
00:15:34,771 --> 00:15:37,309
Go and kill yourself!
107
00:15:39,692 --> 00:15:43,855
Whose is this newspaper?
Out! Everybody out!
108
00:15:46,490 --> 00:15:48,862
Go! Quick!
109
00:15:49,242 --> 00:15:53,702
- Confess! Whose is it?
- What do I know? Yours?
110
00:15:54,371 --> 00:15:58,831
Of course, I need it for the stock
quotations! Who left it?
111
00:15:59,500 --> 00:16:03,580
It must have been Agnelli. He stopped by
to see if we had a spare bed to rent.
112
00:16:04,171 --> 00:16:07,871
Oh, you're playing the fool! If it wasn't
Agnelli, it was someone else!
113
00:16:08,424 --> 00:16:11,378
When I'm not here,
someone else comes!
114
00:16:11,844 --> 00:16:17,846
Remember, when I get proof
I'll kill you, you dirty slut!
115
00:16:18,725 --> 00:16:22,888
You're the slut, going to Parioli,
playing the gigolo with all the women!
116
00:16:23,520 --> 00:16:28,645
- You shit! - You're the shit,
you grandmother's little whore!
117
00:16:29,401 --> 00:16:34,192
- I'll kill you!
- I'll kill you, you son of a slut!
118
00:16:34,906 --> 00:16:38,238
No! Give me the bottle!
119
00:16:38,742 --> 00:16:42,324
I know you've hidden a photo
in your shoe!
120
00:16:42,870 --> 00:16:45,539
Because there's a hole in the bottom!
121
00:16:49,084 --> 00:16:53,330
What a beauty you gave me.
My head's still ringing.
122
00:16:53,963 --> 00:16:56,998
Are you still shitting, my love?
123
00:16:57,466 --> 00:17:01,877
- Will the wine stain go away? I'm
all dirty. - One.. two.. three.. four..
124
00:17:02,512 --> 00:17:05,761
But I'm content!
A real man has to take charge!
125
00:17:06,224 --> 00:17:09,887
- If you want me to take charge,
invite me to the martial bed!
126
00:17:10,435 --> 00:17:13,104
- Let's go to bed!
- I'm coming!
127
00:17:13,771 --> 00:17:18,349
- If the weather's nice on Sunday...
- eight.. nine.. ten.. eleven...
128
00:17:19,025 --> 00:17:24,399
- .. but these socks are filthy...
- thirteen.. fourteen.
129
00:17:25,197 --> 00:17:28,364
I've got a nice surprise for you tonight.
130
00:17:28,867 --> 00:17:32,947
I know your surprise. Quietly,
so they don't hear us.
131
00:17:41,044 --> 00:17:44,994
Come here, my beauty.
Tell me who you are.
132
00:17:45,589 --> 00:17:49,456
I'm all yours!
But let's be quiet!
133
00:17:50,052 --> 00:17:52,721
- Tell me something...
- No, they can hear!
134
00:17:53,138 --> 00:17:57,087
- Pretend to talk about something else.
- What shall I make you for lunch tomorrow?
135
00:17:57,683 --> 00:18:01,051
- Two aubergines!
- Two bits of cod!
136
00:18:01,561 --> 00:18:04,811
- I won't digest that.
- And if I cook you two chickpeas?
137
00:18:05,315 --> 00:18:08,564
No, they make me fart.
138
00:18:09,067 --> 00:18:12,982
- Peppers are less heavy...
- Then, two broccolis my love...
139
00:18:13,571 --> 00:18:17,070
- Broccoli is better.
- Cooked in the pan.
140
00:18:17,616 --> 00:18:20,024
Yes, with garlic.
141
00:18:20,411 --> 00:18:23,696
With garlic and chilli pepper.
142
00:18:24,205 --> 00:18:29,080
- And a touch of sage.
- Sage... yes, sage...
143
00:18:35,382 --> 00:18:39,129
Did you say something, my love?
144
00:18:47,266 --> 00:18:51,429
It's never too late.
145
00:19:09,035 --> 00:19:13,032
- Don't disturb me for a few minutes.
- Yes, sir.
146
00:19:25,215 --> 00:19:28,500
Are you there, my dove...?
Good morning, my love, it's me.
147
00:19:29,010 --> 00:19:32,592
This joke is becoming vulgar and absurd!
148
00:19:33,138 --> 00:19:35,427
How beautiful you are when you're angry.
149
00:19:35,808 --> 00:19:40,385
I could get angry for real
and call the police!
150
00:19:41,062 --> 00:19:46,850
You won't do it. No woman is
insensitive to a sincere love.
151
00:19:47,692 --> 00:19:52,270
I am a man in love who wants
to crush you in his arms.
152
00:19:56,658 --> 00:20:01,119
He must be a madman!
Or an old pervert!
153
00:20:14,673 --> 00:20:17,757
Enrico... I can't sleep.
154
00:20:18,843 --> 00:20:23,172
- Read something.
- Enrico...
155
00:20:26,308 --> 00:20:28,798
It's the latest edition, dear.
156
00:20:43,448 --> 00:20:47,361
- Where are you going?
- I'm thirsty, I'll be back soon.
157
00:20:48,911 --> 00:20:53,073
Enrico... drink quickly
158
00:21:04,882 --> 00:21:06,709
Six, four...
159
00:21:14,849 --> 00:21:17,766
My love, I wanted only to
wish you good night.
160
00:21:18,185 --> 00:21:21,933
Don't be irritated, don't say
ugly things, my dove.
161
00:21:22,480 --> 00:21:27,307
I'm so in love, I cannot sleep
without saying I love you.
162
00:21:28,193 --> 00:21:30,731
I love you... I love you...
163
00:21:45,500 --> 00:21:48,584
Hello, my dove,
my little dove...
164
00:21:56,634 --> 00:21:59,919
Always open these windows,
eh, Valeria?
165
00:22:18,194 --> 00:22:21,479
What does this madman want from me?
166
00:22:23,072 --> 00:22:25,444
What does he want?
167
00:22:26,326 --> 00:22:30,786
He keeps a photo of Golda Meir
in his wallet.
168
00:22:32,414 --> 00:22:36,281
For him, women become
desirable when they're 70.
169
00:22:38,294 --> 00:22:42,207
What do I know, Gerontophilia, Chronophilia,
granny grabber.
170
00:22:49,178 --> 00:22:53,555
- Have you been waiting long, Carlo?
- Yes, but I'm not Carlo!
171
00:23:18,453 --> 00:23:20,825
Let me in, my dove!
172
00:23:21,163 --> 00:23:25,410
- I'm a poor old woman!
- You are glorious!
173
00:23:26,042 --> 00:23:29,707
Do not fear, I will not covet you,
I'm taken with you, crazily!
174
00:23:30,254 --> 00:23:33,670
What do you want with me?
I could be your grandmother!
175
00:23:34,175 --> 00:23:37,625
A kiss. I've been thinking about
your burning lips for days.
176
00:23:38,178 --> 00:23:41,796
But we're not even related!
177
00:23:42,348 --> 00:23:46,725
Because I desire you! Don't hide,
you must be mine, only mine!
178
00:23:47,352 --> 00:23:51,598
It'll be wonderful, you'll see! Don't look
at me with those gazelle's eye!
179
00:23:52,232 --> 00:23:55,516
Poor dove
my little dove!
180
00:23:56,026 --> 00:23:59,477
Look, I brought you
some marron glace.
181
00:24:05,659 --> 00:24:11,530
- How did you know I like them?
- I know everything about you, Esperia!
182
00:24:15,042 --> 00:24:20,914
I made this liquor myself.
Grape, strawberry and cherry.
183
00:24:23,049 --> 00:24:26,583
It's non-alcoholic,
my mother taught me.
184
00:24:28,345 --> 00:24:34,264
Promise you'll be good and not touch me,
even with a finger?
185
00:24:35,101 --> 00:24:36,927
I promise.
186
00:24:37,644 --> 00:24:39,471
To our love.
187
00:24:41,856 --> 00:24:45,106
Oh, what devil's eyes
you have!
188
00:24:49,071 --> 00:24:51,110
My little dove...
189
00:25:03,458 --> 00:25:07,834
My dove, tell me the truth...
when was the last time?
190
00:25:08,462 --> 00:25:12,127
The only time!
During the war.
191
00:25:12,757 --> 00:25:20,420
- 1940?
- No, 1915. He was an Austrian Captain.
192
00:25:22,224 --> 00:25:25,141
- Did you love him?
- Crazily!
193
00:25:25,769 --> 00:25:30,892
- He left me for the cannon shot!
- It's terrible...
194
00:25:32,983 --> 00:25:37,644
- Do you still love him?
- No, now I love you, Enrico.
195
00:25:40,155 --> 00:25:45,031
Oh, Enrico...
Oh, Enrico... Oh, Enrico...
196
00:25:54,334 --> 00:25:57,500
Did you understand,
Valeria?
197
00:26:01,548 --> 00:26:05,593
- Enrico!
- Esperia! What are you doing here?
198
00:26:06,385 --> 00:26:11,047
- What are YOU doing here?
- I came by to see you.
199
00:26:11,724 --> 00:26:15,591
I'm always out in the morning
as you well know!
200
00:26:16,186 --> 00:26:20,681
- I was in the area, and I thought...
- "I thought"!
201
00:26:21,357 --> 00:26:25,603
Tell the truth. You came
because Valeria was alone.
202
00:26:26,235 --> 00:26:28,857
No, she's almost a baby.
203
00:26:29,280 --> 00:26:33,324
Ok. But from tomorrow,
Valeria does the shopping with me!
204
00:26:34,284 --> 00:26:37,036
- Corinne! - Esperia, how are you?
205
00:26:37,037 --> 00:26:39,788
- You look so well!
- You too!
206
00:26:46,586 --> 00:26:50,962
My dear, one minute, I forgot my money.
Wait for me.
207
00:27:24,451 --> 00:27:26,490
My little dove...
208
00:27:27,621 --> 00:27:29,697
Mother!
209
00:27:33,793 --> 00:27:36,995
The Honeymoon.
210
00:27:39,506 --> 00:27:41,333
Hold it!
211
00:27:41,799 --> 00:27:44,337
Another! Hold it!
212
00:27:45,636 --> 00:27:47,462
Another!
213
00:27:48,930 --> 00:27:51,599
Okay, that's it!
214
00:27:55,936 --> 00:27:59,186
- May I kiss the bride?
- Thank you, Father!
215
00:27:59,772 --> 00:28:02,394
Long live the happy couple!
216
00:28:09,907 --> 00:28:12,147
This is my wife!
217
00:28:12,491 --> 00:28:17,153
- Grazia, where are you?...
You gave me a shock. - Here I am!
218
00:28:27,254 --> 00:28:29,553
- We'll see you at the dinner.
- Yes, mother
219
00:28:29,554 --> 00:28:31,085
Give us a push. It won't go
220
00:28:33,426 --> 00:28:37,043
- Go on! - Put it in third!
- Go on, push!
221
00:28:57,238 --> 00:29:02,861
A toast to Grazia and Lello!
222
00:29:03,702 --> 00:29:08,943
The Happy Couple! Kiss!
223
00:29:11,500 --> 00:29:14,915
Giovanna, dance with me!
224
00:29:15,920 --> 00:29:20,545
- Catch! Here!
- Me too!
225
00:29:32,142 --> 00:29:35,804
Put this under your pillow
and in a year you'll be married too.
226
00:29:36,167 --> 00:29:39,306
- To who? You caught the best one!
- Thank you!
227
00:29:40,565 --> 00:29:43,769
Why don't you come with us
on the honeymoon?
228
00:29:44,277 --> 00:29:48,060
Just married and you've
already started. Pig!
229
00:29:48,614 --> 00:29:52,943
Just my homage to beauty!
And you've so many beautiful parts!
230
00:29:53,577 --> 00:29:58,036
If they interest you so much,
you could have thought first, you demon!
231
00:30:00,875 --> 00:30:04,326
Don't wear yourself out.
You'll have no energy for tonight!
232
00:30:06,421 --> 00:30:10,714
Poor Grazia, with that husband,
just think of the horns she'll be wearing
233
00:30:19,557 --> 00:30:23,803
The priest is dancing with that old woman!
Dance, slut, on your way to hell!
234
00:30:24,811 --> 00:30:29,389
Grazia, the train's leaving in an hour.
Go and change!
235
00:30:30,065 --> 00:30:35,023
Here's my beautiful bride!
I'm going to undress the bride!
236
00:30:35,737 --> 00:30:39,272
- The bride will undress herself!
- As if I hadn't said it, dear!
237
00:30:45,912 --> 00:30:49,661
- I like you more than your daughter...
- Liar!
238
00:30:54,503 --> 00:30:59,248
Remember, the Hotel Adriatic. Your mother
and I went there for our honeymoon.
239
00:30:59,924 --> 00:31:02,961
I get it. I understand.
I'm not an imbecile!
240
00:31:04,303 --> 00:31:06,501
- Come on, Grazia!
- I'm coming!
241
00:31:06,503 --> 00:31:08,280
Room 35, remember!
242
00:31:08,515 --> 00:31:11,516
It was room 28 not 35.
243
00:31:11,976 --> 00:31:14,597
Remember everything
your mother taught you!
244
00:31:14,979 --> 00:31:19,225
- Man is a dirty beast!
Even your father was a beast!
245
00:31:22,902 --> 00:31:26,899
- Don't harm my child,
you filthy dirty black animal!
246
00:31:27,489 --> 00:31:31,071
- Don't worry, I'll go slowly!
- Bye! - Write to us!
247
00:31:31,617 --> 00:31:34,487
- Room 35!
- 28!
248
00:31:35,079 --> 00:31:38,412
You can't refuse me,
I'm your husband!
249
00:31:38,915 --> 00:31:43,244
It makes the blood rush to my head.
Not on the train, are you mad?
250
00:31:43,878 --> 00:31:46,582
Where does it say "No screwing"?
251
00:31:48,299 --> 00:31:50,124
Let's go here, it's empty.
252
00:31:59,224 --> 00:32:01,893
We got married a few hours ago.
253
00:32:20,158 --> 00:32:23,823
We should tell them
the tunnel is finished.
254
00:32:31,918 --> 00:32:35,500
You're so handsome
I'm never tired of looking at you!
255
00:32:36,047 --> 00:32:39,830
Why look at me?
Look at Venice!
256
00:32:40,383 --> 00:32:43,587
I don't care about Venice,
I'm looking at you!
257
00:32:44,095 --> 00:32:48,508
Look at me in that way,
and you awake "the beast"
258
00:32:49,141 --> 00:32:53,518
- Don't be so unromantic.
- Who cares!
259
00:32:57,314 --> 00:32:59,936
We'll be at the hotel soon! Stay calm!
260
00:33:14,579 --> 00:33:18,410
All good!
Be patient, no?
261
00:33:20,710 --> 00:33:24,921
- Grazia, what are you doing? Come on!
- I'm coming.
262
00:33:37,932 --> 00:33:40,601
- Do you like it!
- You're a bomb!
263
00:33:41,018 --> 00:33:45,560
It took six months to embroider.
Do you sleep without pyjamas?
264
00:33:46,230 --> 00:33:50,808
I sleep how I was born.
Come near me!
265
00:33:51,486 --> 00:33:55,529
Will you think badly of me, if I tell you
how much I've dreamed of this?
266
00:33:56,114 --> 00:34:00,822
Why? When you're in love,
physical love is natural
267
00:34:01,494 --> 00:34:04,779
Tonight I feel so abandoned!
268
00:34:05,289 --> 00:34:08,953
I want you naked!
Get rid of the nightdress! And the necklace!
269
00:34:09,501 --> 00:34:13,200
- I'm ashamed!
- Ok, keep the necklace, but hurry!
270
00:34:14,504 --> 00:34:17,422
Put out the light, then.
271
00:34:22,428 --> 00:34:26,294
How beautiful you are!
You're like Bottticini's Venus!
272
00:34:26,890 --> 00:34:31,053
Hurry, quickly, I can't hold it!
273
00:34:32,019 --> 00:34:34,226
Hurry, come here!
274
00:34:35,272 --> 00:34:39,269
Are you keeping your knickers on?
Your mother didn't tell you to take them off?
275
00:34:39,859 --> 00:34:42,895
- I'll take them off!
- Don't hurt me, Lello!
276
00:34:43,363 --> 00:34:47,062
Hurt you?
I want to do it four times tonight!
277
00:34:49,284 --> 00:34:54,869
Say your prayers!
I want to do it four, no five times tonight!
278
00:34:56,832 --> 00:34:59,120
Go on, Lello! Go on!
279
00:35:08,300 --> 00:35:11,964
Lello? Lello? Lello?
280
00:35:13,888 --> 00:35:17,837
Lello, what is it? What's the matter?
281
00:35:24,897 --> 00:35:30,140
No... Grazia, tonight no...
I don't feel too well.
282
00:35:33,571 --> 00:35:37,403
- But... just like that?
- Yes, just like that.
283
00:35:39,326 --> 00:35:42,445
It'll be the crabs,
you ate four of them!
284
00:35:42,912 --> 00:35:47,206
Yes, it'll be those four
bloody crabs from this evening.
285
00:35:49,918 --> 00:35:54,626
What are you doing?
Turn off the bloody light!
286
00:35:56,590 --> 00:36:03,423
- Do you want to sleep?
- Yes... maybe I should have a nap.
287
00:36:05,514 --> 00:36:10,176
It's nothing, It'll pass, you'll see.
Don't worry, Grazia.
288
00:36:59,602 --> 00:37:02,223
Today I feel really good!
289
00:37:02,646 --> 00:37:07,722
- You scared me yesterday.
- Who knows what you must've thought.
290
00:37:08,484 --> 00:37:12,267
You must have thought: "what
kind of man did I marry?"
291
00:37:12,821 --> 00:37:17,068
In fact it was nothing. A little sleep
and it all passed.
292
00:37:17,700 --> 00:37:22,576
- Are you sure?
- Feel this, woman of little faith!
293
00:37:23,664 --> 00:37:27,791
- Gondolier, to the Hotel Adriatic!
- Ok. - Full speed!
294
00:37:29,669 --> 00:37:31,910
Quicker! Quicker!
295
00:37:37,342 --> 00:37:40,876
Bravo, Lello! Go, Lello!
296
00:38:00,445 --> 00:38:05,735
I'm afraid there's nothing to be done,
I'm sorry.
297
00:38:06,491 --> 00:38:09,362
Me too.
298
00:38:20,169 --> 00:38:23,668
But what does it depend on?
299
00:38:24,381 --> 00:38:28,046
Ask him what it depends on!
300
00:38:31,220 --> 00:38:36,558
- Has it happened with other women?
- No... well, yes, sort of...
301
00:38:38,018 --> 00:38:41,801
Sometimes, yes...
Almost always.
302
00:38:44,898 --> 00:38:48,765
Hey, you must promise
that no one will ever know this!
303
00:38:49,361 --> 00:38:52,729
You're worried about other people?
What about me?
304
00:38:53,238 --> 00:38:57,816
Of course I'm thinking about you!
Come on, this thing will pass, it'll pass!
305
00:38:59,369 --> 00:39:01,860
Let's hope...
306
00:39:03,415 --> 00:39:07,791
- You said almost always? - Yes
- So then, sometimes...
307
00:39:08,669 --> 00:39:13,211
Once, in Rimini, with a German girl,
... we were in a boat.
308
00:39:14,548 --> 00:39:18,332
The sea was so wild,
that we almost fell in the water.
309
00:39:18,886 --> 00:39:23,013
That time I even managed
an encore, didn't I, my truncheon?
310
00:39:24,682 --> 00:39:28,216
Grazia, do you still love me?
311
00:39:32,147 --> 00:39:34,553
Of course I love you!
312
00:39:35,400 --> 00:39:39,692
You're my husband, my man...
313
00:39:48,452 --> 00:39:52,913
Grazia...
you said 'man' ironically.
314
00:39:54,999 --> 00:39:59,791
Gather round, ladies!
Tomorrow you'll want me and I'll be gone.
315
00:40:00,462 --> 00:40:04,044
I'll sell you some empty trousers,
you can fill them with your loveliness!
316
00:40:04,549 --> 00:40:07,715
And if your behind makes it a tight fit,
the tighter the better!
317
00:40:08,177 --> 00:40:14,428
- Will this fit me? - With that
beautiful behind, one size bigger.
318
00:40:15,433 --> 00:40:19,216
- How did the honeymoon go?
- Not bad. We did our best.
319
00:40:19,770 --> 00:40:23,553
- And the bride? - She's recovering.
Prices have been slashed!
320
00:40:24,149 --> 00:40:28,395
- Lello, you're crazy!
- Thanks! Tomorrow, Lello will be gone!
321
00:40:32,531 --> 00:40:35,401
- Good day, would you like something?
- An ice cream cake.
322
00:40:35,867 --> 00:40:38,702
- Big or small?
- Small, it's just me and Lello.
323
00:40:39,120 --> 00:40:43,117
- Soon you'll be adding to your family.
- Of course, that's why I got married!
324
00:40:43,706 --> 00:40:48,000
- Hi, Giovanna. Hi, Marta.
- Hi, Grazia. Take a seat.
325
00:40:48,920 --> 00:40:51,706
Okay, while I wait for the cake.
326
00:40:53,048 --> 00:40:59,572
- You look well. Are you already pregnant?
- Could be. In fact, I think I must be.
327
00:40:59,846 --> 00:41:04,091
- I'd be terrified, if I was pregnant.
- Get married, then.
328
00:41:04,725 --> 00:41:09,220
- When are you and Vittorio deciding?
- I don't know. He's not like Lello.
329
00:41:09,896 --> 00:41:13,146
Lello always treated me with respect.
330
00:41:13,607 --> 00:41:17,521
- Even before marriage?
- Certainly. Afterwards...
331
00:41:19,237 --> 00:41:22,072
What's it like spending the night with a man?
332
00:41:22,489 --> 00:41:27,067
- Is it true you wake in the middle
of night to... - Is it true?
333
00:41:28,078 --> 00:41:33,071
- Well, sometimes it happens.
It's late, I should go.
334
00:41:34,666 --> 00:41:38,201
- My pleasure, Madam.
- Thanks. Add it to our account.
335
00:41:54,851 --> 00:41:58,681
Lello! Lello! Lello!
336
00:41:59,437 --> 00:42:03,020
- What do you want?
- You remember that German girl?
337
00:42:03,566 --> 00:42:06,235
The one you made love to in the boat,
338
00:42:06,652 --> 00:42:10,601
- I thought we weren't going to talk about
it? - We've got to, it's important!
339
00:42:12,740 --> 00:42:17,650
- Ok, let's talk.
- With who else did you make love?
340
00:42:18,370 --> 00:42:22,201
- Digging up the past, eh?
- Tell me, it's important!
341
00:42:22,790 --> 00:42:26,573
- With my cousin's wife.
- You dirty beast! Where did you do it?
342
00:42:27,127 --> 00:42:30,128
I don't remember...
Ah, yes, in a truck.
343
00:42:30,588 --> 00:42:33,873
The husband was driving, while
we were getting up to stuff in the back.
344
00:42:34,383 --> 00:42:36,956
Lello, I've got it! I understand!
345
00:42:37,344 --> 00:42:41,721
On our honeymoon, on the train
and the boat, you were really excited.
346
00:42:42,348 --> 00:42:45,491
- But in bed, nothing.
- So what?
347
00:42:45,492 --> 00:42:48,635
So what? Nothing happened in the bed!
348
00:42:49,000 --> 00:42:53,892
The next day, you're turned on in the gondola,
but back to the hotel, nothing again.
349
00:42:54,317 --> 00:42:58,396
You've only ever managed to make love
on a boat and in a truck.
350
00:42:58,987 --> 00:43:03,613
- What does this make you think?
- Twice in thirty years is too little!
351
00:43:04,283 --> 00:43:09,194
- No! You can make love only in moving
vehicles! - What's that got to do with it?
352
00:43:09,913 --> 00:43:14,325
The train and the van were
sexual stimulants! Aphrodisiacs!
353
00:43:14,959 --> 00:43:19,419
You mean we've got to make love
in a car or a plane?
354
00:43:20,088 --> 00:43:24,417
You're crazy! You read too much
science fiction!
355
00:43:25,051 --> 00:43:29,593
- Let me sleep!
- What are you doing?
356
00:43:30,263 --> 00:43:33,632
In pyjamas?
Shame on you, Grazia!
357
00:43:35,226 --> 00:43:40,184
- Let's make love in the lift!
- What if the porter sees us?
358
00:43:41,189 --> 00:43:45,138
- You're not normal!
- Kiss me! Kiss me!
359
00:43:47,028 --> 00:43:50,361
Hey maybe you're right?
Push the button!
360
00:43:51,573 --> 00:43:56,034
It works!
Push it again! Push it again!
361
00:43:56,911 --> 00:43:59,663
Wow! You were right!
362
00:44:00,414 --> 00:44:05,158
Push the button!
It's working!
363
00:44:06,669 --> 00:44:10,583
The button!
I've pressed it! Number seven!
364
00:44:19,763 --> 00:44:24,010
- What is it? - It must the boiler!
- No, it's the lawyer's burglar alarm!
365
00:44:24,642 --> 00:44:27,643
Look!
Someone's in the lift!
366
00:44:28,104 --> 00:44:31,554
They've killed someone!
Wake up the general!
367
00:44:32,107 --> 00:44:33,933
Call the police!
368
00:44:36,445 --> 00:44:39,563
Come Back My Darling
369
00:44:51,457 --> 00:44:54,208
Hey, Blondie, you want me?
370
00:44:54,627 --> 00:44:58,705
No, that red girl, please
... with the red hair.
371
00:45:00,256 --> 00:45:02,083
Tamara!
372
00:45:07,762 --> 00:45:11,926
- 5 in the car, 10 at home.
- Miss, would you come back with me?
373
00:45:12,558 --> 00:45:16,638
- Ok that's 10.
- You'll get 20, if you do what I want.
374
00:45:35,036 --> 00:45:40,373
- Oh my God! Who's that?
- No, nothing, it's my wife.
375
00:45:41,165 --> 00:45:45,376
- You want a threesome?
- No, it's a life-size doll.
376
00:45:46,002 --> 00:45:48,672
I bought her when Rosetta left me.
377
00:45:49,088 --> 00:45:53,299
I gave her the same features
And dressed her in her underwear...
378
00:45:53,926 --> 00:45:57,129
At nights I speak with her
and I feel less lonely.
379
00:45:57,637 --> 00:46:00,307
I'll show you the rest of the apartment.
380
00:46:00,723 --> 00:46:02,681
Why did your wife leave you?
381
00:46:03,017 --> 00:46:07,180
She would never have left me.
But he forced her.
382
00:46:07,812 --> 00:46:11,063
He kept saying:
"It's me or him!".
383
00:46:11,566 --> 00:46:16,227
- She would have chosen me, but he
threatened her... - Oh, I'm really sorry!
384
00:46:16,904 --> 00:46:19,395
That's life, Miss.
385
00:46:25,787 --> 00:46:29,865
- Is this right?
You're not a sex maniac, are you?
386
00:46:30,499 --> 00:46:34,827
No! The psychiatrist said
I'm absolutely normal.
387
00:46:35,462 --> 00:46:38,746
- I'm already prepared
for my TV appearance.
388
00:46:39,256 --> 00:46:43,299
You need to take your hair up a bit.
She how you're becoming her?
389
00:46:45,011 --> 00:46:47,798
Like a servant... more or less.
390
00:46:53,101 --> 00:46:56,683
- What are you doing?
- Don't be afraid, Miss, it's ok.
391
00:47:00,231 --> 00:47:02,983
Ours was a marriage of love.
392
00:47:03,401 --> 00:47:07,268
I met her in Asti,
on a skating rink.
393
00:47:07,863 --> 00:47:12,904
Roller-skating's my hobby.
I can even do figures.
394
00:47:13,618 --> 00:47:16,535
I had got a good job with the council,
as an archivist
395
00:47:16,955 --> 00:47:20,537
She was always on at me because
I got paid so little.
396
00:47:21,083 --> 00:47:24,000
But I did it because I enjoyed it,
understand?
397
00:47:24,419 --> 00:47:27,170
Is the hair right like this?
398
00:47:28,797 --> 00:47:32,166
Yes, it's good.
Hers was really red, like yours.
399
00:47:36,304 --> 00:47:40,171
Only Rosetta was a little smaller,
more fat...
400
00:47:42,184 --> 00:47:44,591
It's a shame you're not fat...
401
00:47:47,563 --> 00:47:49,390
Wait...
402
00:47:54,027 --> 00:47:56,862
Let me see... let me see...
403
00:48:00,241 --> 00:48:05,779
Excuse me.. Yes, yes, you're similar.
404
00:48:07,706 --> 00:48:13,576
- Perhaps Rosetta was more pretty...
- Ok, what do I have to do?
405
00:48:14,795 --> 00:48:19,456
Ok, you arrive, ring the bell and read
out what I've written on the sheet.
406
00:48:20,132 --> 00:48:24,295
Ah, the sheet! Where did I put it?
Here it is.
407
00:48:26,137 --> 00:48:28,675
Her handbag.
408
00:48:34,103 --> 00:48:37,103
"Monte Carlo Carnival"
Her favorite perfume.
409
00:48:37,564 --> 00:48:41,347
- What a stink... - It's good!
- Giansiro. Rosetta loves you!
410
00:48:41,901 --> 00:48:45,732
- What's that?
- An Indian blackbird.
411
00:48:47,948 --> 00:48:52,692
- What do you say to your Giansiro?
- Rosetta loves you!
412
00:48:55,037 --> 00:48:57,706
I taught him that.
413
00:49:02,669 --> 00:49:07,245
- Rosetta loves you!
- She'll come back, you'll see.
414
00:49:08,172 --> 00:49:12,633
And the three of us will be
happy again, for ever.
415
00:49:13,302 --> 00:49:17,679
Did you hear? The doorbell.
416
00:49:18,348 --> 00:49:23,721
- Maybe it's her. You'll see. It's her!
- Rosetta loves you.
417
00:49:24,478 --> 00:49:26,933
It's her. I can feel it's her!
418
00:49:29,024 --> 00:49:35,026
Our favorite record, Nilla Pizzi.
419
00:49:45,662 --> 00:49:48,533
- Who is it?
- It's me, Rosetta!
420
00:49:50,667 --> 00:49:53,021
- Rosetta!
- Giansiro...
421
00:49:53,022 --> 00:49:55,375
You've come back?
422
00:49:56,630 --> 00:50:00,212
- Have you come back for good?
- Yes. Can you forgive me?
423
00:50:00,758 --> 00:50:04,459
- Oh, how I longed...
Oh, how I longed for you...
424
00:50:05,012 --> 00:50:08,511
Oh, how I longed for you,
for our house...
425
00:50:09,016 --> 00:50:12,763
.. our intimacy, our
serene and modest life!
426
00:50:13,310 --> 00:50:15,636
I always waited for you...
427
00:50:16,022 --> 00:50:20,813
and I never forgot the cream cakes
which you loved so much.
428
00:50:25,488 --> 00:50:29,188
- They're not too tart, right?
- Actually, a little bit...
429
00:50:29,741 --> 00:50:33,785
No! You must say no! Rosetta
always said they were tart!
430
00:50:34,371 --> 00:50:37,075
Sometimes she'd throw them
in my face.
431
00:50:37,498 --> 00:50:42,657
- They're good, they taste oven fresh.
- I'm pleased.
432
00:50:43,878 --> 00:50:47,211
Do you recognize your room?
It's exactly how you left it.
433
00:50:47,714 --> 00:50:50,918
There is still the odor
of your presence.
434
00:50:51,384 --> 00:50:55,881
- I'm so tired, I want to go to bed
immediately - Of course, straight away.
435
00:50:56,556 --> 00:51:00,932
Can I come to bed with you,
or do have to I sleep on the sofa?
436
00:51:01,601 --> 00:51:05,516
No my love, it's a big bed,
big enough for two.
437
00:51:06,105 --> 00:51:12,225
Thank you. I'll be good, I won't
even touch you with a finger.
438
00:51:13,111 --> 00:51:16,859
But I want to be touched
and squeezed tightly!
439
00:51:17,406 --> 00:51:20,158
- That's why I came back!
- Really?
440
00:51:20,576 --> 00:51:24,443
Of course! I love you so much.
He doesn't matter any more!
441
00:51:25,038 --> 00:51:28,905
He's big and strong, but
he doesn't have your delicate touch.
442
00:51:29,458 --> 00:51:33,290
- But he's younger!
- You have the charm of a mature man.
443
00:51:33,879 --> 00:51:39,085
- Come, come...
- Say I'm the only man for you.
444
00:51:40,175 --> 00:51:44,255
- Tell me you love me!
- I love you, Giansiro!
445
00:52:02,861 --> 00:52:07,938
10... 20...
And here's another 1000 lire.
446
00:52:08,699 --> 00:52:11,272
- Thank you.
- It was wonderful, eh?
447
00:52:11,702 --> 00:52:15,485
- When I get paid, at the end
of the month, we'll do it again.
448
00:52:16,039 --> 00:52:19,704
- Are you always there?
- Every night. Bye.
449
00:52:27,090 --> 00:52:31,752
- Miss Tamara, can I ask you a favor?
- Of course.
450
00:52:33,095 --> 00:52:37,139
Will you telephone me tomorrow,
pretending to be Rosetta?
451
00:52:37,724 --> 00:52:39,598
What do I have to say?
452
00:52:40,977 --> 00:52:46,682
Just nice words, whatever you want.
45, 9, 2, 3.
453
00:53:31,310 --> 00:53:34,430
Italian Workers Abroad
454
00:53:59,502 --> 00:54:02,952
By darling
Don't tire yourself out.
455
00:56:02,396 --> 00:56:06,096
Artificial INSEMINATION
DONORS
456
01:01:12,657 --> 01:01:15,112
Sister, is this where
they're looking for a donor?
457
01:01:22,540 --> 01:01:26,703
The Vendetta
458
01:02:08,037 --> 01:02:12,248
Eat some fried aubergine,
I made it with my own hands.
459
01:02:19,088 --> 01:02:25,589
Poor Michele!
They killed him!
460
01:02:26,510 --> 01:02:30,555
Everyone knows who killed him,
but they won't say.
461
01:02:31,766 --> 01:02:35,679
How tragic. Dying and leaving
behind such a beautiful wife.
462
01:02:36,269 --> 01:02:40,101
If you tread on Don Alvaro's feet,
you don't die of old age.
463
01:02:40,815 --> 01:02:44,977
Here he is, Don Alvaro Macaluso.
464
01:02:50,823 --> 01:02:53,195
Madam Mimma, Don Alvaro is here.
465
01:03:10,840 --> 01:03:15,335
- At your service, Madam Mimma. - The house
is open to friends and enemies. Come in.
466
01:03:16,261 --> 01:03:20,673
Don Alvaro honours the departed and helps
those who are left. I enter as a friend.
467
01:03:21,348 --> 01:03:24,799
- Many thanks for the wreath.
- It was my duty.
468
01:03:25,310 --> 01:03:28,809
- Would you like a sip of marsala?
- A sip.
469
01:03:34,776 --> 01:03:37,777
- To the health of the deceased.
- To his health!
470
01:03:41,783 --> 01:03:44,534
Are you not drinking, Madam Mimma?
471
01:03:46,745 --> 01:03:49,580
To the health of poor Michele.
472
01:03:56,295 --> 01:04:00,790
- How did this tragedy happen?
- I saw nothing, I know nothing.
473
01:04:02,175 --> 01:04:05,460
Do not even you know anything,
Don Alvaro?
474
01:04:05,970 --> 01:04:08,887
It was a great misfortune, I was told.
475
01:04:09,306 --> 01:04:11,878
In the car, on his way home...
476
01:04:12,266 --> 01:04:16,216
...a projectile hit him,
travelling in the opposite direction.
477
01:04:16,812 --> 01:04:20,262
I understand - a road accident.
478
01:04:24,693 --> 01:04:29,651
- May I pay my respects to the corpse?
- The corpse would be honored.
479
01:04:32,242 --> 01:04:34,400
I kiss your hand, Don Alvaro.
480
01:04:34,744 --> 01:04:40,117
They killed him! Everyone
knows who did it, but they won't say!
481
01:04:42,626 --> 01:04:45,116
I kiss your hand, Don Alvaro.
482
01:04:47,171 --> 01:04:49,376
Let's go.
483
01:04:56,512 --> 01:05:01,386
Beautiful, young, handsome,
full of good health!
484
01:05:02,809 --> 01:05:05,381
He could have lived another 100 years!
485
01:05:11,358 --> 01:05:16,944
But what can we do?
You must be brave!
486
01:05:17,779 --> 01:05:21,362
Unfortunately death is the
most incurable illness!
487
01:05:21,909 --> 01:05:26,534
Let's sit down.
Madam Mimma, now you're alone.
488
01:05:27,205 --> 01:05:31,118
If you need Don Alvaro's protection,
you just need to speak.
489
01:05:31,708 --> 01:05:34,958
What can a poor woman
do on her own?
490
01:05:35,419 --> 01:05:41,622
But it's me! Even as a child
you made me crazy with desire!
491
01:05:43,343 --> 01:05:47,590
You know how devoted I am to you!
Anything...!
492
01:05:48,222 --> 01:05:51,721
- I beg you, not in front of him!
- The dead are not jealous!
493
01:05:52,267 --> 01:05:56,346
- But there's also the living!
- They don't have ears, when I speak!
494
01:05:56,938 --> 01:06:01,018
If you like, you could be
Don Alvaro's woman...
495
01:06:01,609 --> 01:06:05,273
...you'd be
the First Lady of Pollesano!
496
01:06:07,822 --> 01:06:11,606
It's too soon
to speak of these things.
497
01:06:12,200 --> 01:06:16,661
I bow to your mourning.
498
01:06:17,330 --> 01:06:22,999
- How long must I wait?
- At least until tomorrow.
499
01:06:23,835 --> 01:06:28,129
- Early afternoon?
- Even late morning, Don Alvaro.
500
01:06:33,843 --> 01:06:36,169
Time enough to forget.
501
01:07:01,284 --> 01:07:04,699
This here is Rosalia,
The queen of the house!
502
01:07:05,203 --> 01:07:08,323
What a beautiful bride!
You chose well.
503
01:07:16,254 --> 01:07:20,121
- What a strong man you are!
- This is nothing!
504
01:07:25,680 --> 01:07:28,086
Thanks, Mimmuzza!
505
01:07:30,433 --> 01:07:35,343
- What a beautiful little house.
- It's all yours now.
506
01:07:36,438 --> 01:07:38,395
Christ, I'm finished.
507
01:07:45,529 --> 01:07:48,565
He hasn't been out for two days,
he's ravenous for women.
508
01:07:49,032 --> 01:07:51,986
Today, Rosalia brought
their meals to them in bed.
509
01:07:52,410 --> 01:07:54,901
Last time he stayed
in there for two weeks.
510
01:07:55,287 --> 01:07:57,861
Five years ago he was younger.
511
01:07:59,249 --> 01:08:02,119
Let's go and take a look.
512
01:08:07,964 --> 01:08:10,122
Let me see.
513
01:08:21,685 --> 01:08:23,511
My turn.
514
01:08:54,254 --> 01:08:56,080
Dance, Mimmuzza!
515
01:09:04,846 --> 01:09:06,673
Dance!
516
01:09:54,554 --> 01:10:01,055
Beautiful...
Mimma... yes... yes...
517
01:10:06,481 --> 01:10:10,999
If it's true that a man can die
in a thousand ways...
518
01:10:11,068 --> 01:10:15,103
.. then Don Alvaro has chosen the best way!
519
01:10:15,239 --> 01:10:19,236
What death could be better for
a man of honor like Don Alvaro...
520
01:10:19,826 --> 01:10:23,490
.. than that found in the
fiery passion of a young woman?
521
01:10:24,037 --> 01:10:27,786
.. his last breath
was not a sorrowful lament...
522
01:10:28,333 --> 01:10:30,408
.. but a sigh of wild passionate love!
523
01:10:30,752 --> 01:10:33,289
If he could attend
his own funeral...
524
01:10:33,671 --> 01:10:37,454
.. Don Alvaro would not produce tears
but copious wine.
525
01:10:38,049 --> 01:10:41,999
Do not sob at his coffin,
but applaud!
526
01:10:42,594 --> 01:10:44,800
"I lived well, and died better. "
527
01:10:45,138 --> 01:10:48,637
This is what Don Alvaro Macaluso would say,
man of honor!
528
01:11:23,296 --> 01:11:28,004
Did you think I betrayed you?
No, I vindicated you.
529
01:11:28,717 --> 01:11:32,761
I used all the erotic arts.
Carmela the whore taught me.
530
01:11:33,346 --> 01:11:38,007
You knew her, right? She taught me
all the sexual techniques.
531
01:11:38,683 --> 01:11:42,098
I destroyed him using every part of my body.
532
01:11:42,604 --> 01:11:45,224
I even abused the laws of nature.
533
01:11:46,315 --> 01:11:49,979
But, revenge has been done.
Execution by sex.
534
01:11:50,527 --> 01:11:53,942
What? You want to know
if I enjoyed myself?
535
01:11:54,447 --> 01:11:57,483
Only once, involuntarily
for a split second.
536
01:11:57,949 --> 01:12:03,654
But it was tiny, I swear!
A tiny orgasm. Forgive me.
537
01:12:05,289 --> 01:12:09,950
You're angry?
Don't look at me like that, Micheluzzo!
538
01:12:11,086 --> 01:12:14,953
Can I go, then?
Bye, Micheluzzo, I'll see you.
539
01:12:34,981 --> 01:12:39,144
A Difficult Love
540
01:12:49,076 --> 01:12:52,326
- Is it much further?
- We've arrived.
541
01:12:58,584 --> 01:13:00,660
This is number 3.
542
01:13:22,688 --> 01:13:25,890
- Are you Antonietta?
- Yes, but who are you?
543
01:13:26,358 --> 01:13:30,105
- The brother. - Of who?
- Of Cosimo, your husband.
544
01:13:30,653 --> 01:13:33,060
Fuck off!
You and your brother!
545
01:13:38,326 --> 01:13:41,659
We're related.
Do you know Cosimo?
546
01:13:42,163 --> 01:13:46,029
He was around a year ago,
then he went away and left his wife.
547
01:13:46,582 --> 01:13:50,710
- Where? - Who knows?
With another woman. Men are men.
548
01:13:51,336 --> 01:13:54,006
- But...
- Stop crying, move.
549
01:13:58,426 --> 01:14:01,545
If I get a job, I'll spend my
first wage on a woman.
550
01:14:02,013 --> 01:14:05,132
Look at him!
551
01:14:05,765 --> 01:14:10,142
Respect where it's due,
bottoms in the city are more rotund.
552
01:14:10,937 --> 01:14:14,980
Hey handsome, you want me too?
553
01:14:18,944 --> 01:14:22,561
Run, girls! Run!
554
01:14:23,114 --> 01:14:27,277
Scarper, girls!
555
01:14:28,451 --> 01:14:31,487
Good evening, commissioner
got a light?
556
01:14:32,955 --> 01:14:35,660
- Come here!
- Piss off!
557
01:14:36,082 --> 01:14:40,708
You beast, I'm a woman who works
to put food on the table!
558
01:15:01,646 --> 01:15:04,018
Two cocktails, please.
559
01:15:38,427 --> 01:15:43,135
- Miss, may I offer you something?
- A beer.
560
01:15:44,265 --> 01:15:47,431
- Another beer.
- Thanks.
561
01:15:49,019 --> 01:15:53,596
Thank you for accepting so gracefully.
562
01:15:56,734 --> 01:16:01,360
- May we chat for a bit?
- Sure, sit down, if you want.
563
01:16:10,579 --> 01:16:13,200
Do you come here to dance often?
564
01:16:13,623 --> 01:16:17,039
No, just once in a while.
565
01:16:17,543 --> 01:16:20,460
I arrived in Milan today.
566
01:16:20,920 --> 01:16:26,590
I like this metropolis a lot
It's so full... of people.
567
01:16:28,802 --> 01:16:31,672
Excuse me dear,
but are you a Milanese?
568
01:16:32,097 --> 01:16:36,923
What? Am I Milanese?
Not originally.
569
01:16:37,643 --> 01:16:42,019
My name is Nino. What is yours?
If I'm not being indiscreet.
570
01:16:42,648 --> 01:16:48,233
- Gilda.
- Excuse me, but are you sexually occupied?
571
01:16:49,028 --> 01:16:53,938
- What are you saying?
- I mean, does Madam have a fiancée?
572
01:16:57,660 --> 01:16:59,486
No.
573
01:17:00,621 --> 01:17:06,326
So then, we could see one another,
and since I'm looking for a job...
574
01:17:07,168 --> 01:17:11,545
- What type of job are you looking for?
- May we use the 'you' form?
575
01:17:12,798 --> 01:17:15,467
But of course... It's warm!
of course...
576
01:17:16,968 --> 01:17:19,339
I'm looking for any kind of job.
577
01:17:19,720 --> 01:17:23,764
I could be a garbage collector.
They say it pays well.
578
01:17:24,349 --> 01:17:27,515
That way, I could invite you to the cinema
or offer you a pizza.
579
01:17:28,019 --> 01:17:31,767
- Is pizza good enough for you?
- Yes, as long as it's well cooked.
580
01:17:32,314 --> 01:17:36,181
- Shall we dance?
- Can't you see I've got company?
581
01:17:39,445 --> 01:17:43,146
Come and dance,
otherwise we might get knifed.
582
01:17:47,160 --> 01:17:50,161
It's a Beguine, Can you manage it?
583
01:18:00,171 --> 01:18:04,168
You dance well!
Where did you learn? Back home?
584
01:18:25,233 --> 01:18:29,278
Nino, excuse me, it was
nice to meet you.
585
01:18:29,863 --> 01:18:34,405
We've had a drink, we've talked
and even danced. But now it's goodbye.
586
01:18:35,075 --> 01:18:37,745
- What is the hurry?
- I've got to go.
587
01:18:38,119 --> 01:18:40,789
- When shall we meet again?
- I don't know...
588
01:18:41,205 --> 01:18:45,452
So then, must I consider this
encounter to be "illusory"?
589
01:19:00,430 --> 01:19:02,956
- How much for 2 beers?
- 600.
590
01:19:02,957 --> 01:19:04,641
I never even took a sip...
591
01:19:10,856 --> 01:19:13,181
Five, six...
592
01:19:14,525 --> 01:19:16,351
Farewell!
593
01:19:18,321 --> 01:19:20,893
Gilda! Gilda!
594
01:19:23,616 --> 01:19:25,442
Gilda!
595
01:19:54,809 --> 01:19:58,260
Leaving on your own,
you might bump into trouble.
596
01:19:58,770 --> 01:20:01,558
If I find her, I'll tell her
I have serious intentions.
597
01:20:01,982 --> 01:20:05,765
I'll tell her "Gilda, with this kiss
I say many things".
598
01:20:06,319 --> 01:20:09,236
I will find a job
and marry you.
599
01:20:15,577 --> 01:20:18,364
She's waiting for me!
600
01:20:18,787 --> 01:20:22,121
You took ages! Where've you been?
601
01:20:25,334 --> 01:20:30,329
She said she didn't have a boyfriend.
It must be her brother.
602
01:20:34,092 --> 01:20:37,923
What brother!
She's a whore.
603
01:20:38,513 --> 01:20:40,588
Anyway, if she's a prostitute,
she'll come back.
604
01:20:40,932 --> 01:20:45,640
If she doesn't return, she's not a prostitute,
and I'll not see her again. Wise words!
605
01:20:49,563 --> 01:20:52,101
How many whores there are in Milan!
606
01:21:14,250 --> 01:21:18,035
- If you don't find me here,
I'll be at the bar. - She's come back!
607
01:21:18,317 --> 01:21:20,406
So, she really is a whore!
608
01:21:20,407 --> 01:21:23,542
- Bye, Pio.
- Bye, Gilda.
609
01:21:32,683 --> 01:21:35,256
What are you doing on the ground?
610
01:21:43,651 --> 01:21:49,155
Gilda, we've nothing more to say.
We began and now we're we finished.
611
01:21:58,538 --> 01:22:02,120
Ready...
612
01:22:10,381 --> 01:22:12,208
It was wonderful.
613
01:22:13,885 --> 01:22:17,253
Thanks dear. Bye. Come back!
614
01:22:18,513 --> 01:22:20,339
Come back...
615
01:22:21,599 --> 01:22:26,759
"I don't know you
I don't know who you are... "
616
01:22:28,230 --> 01:22:31,479
"... I've got my dreams... "
617
01:22:32,984 --> 01:22:34,810
You've come back?
618
01:22:38,071 --> 01:22:41,025
- I've forgiven you.
- You forgive me?
619
01:22:41,491 --> 01:22:45,155
Good mannered people say hello.
Forgive what?
620
01:22:45,703 --> 01:22:48,240
You deceived me.
621
01:22:48,622 --> 01:22:54,741
You came to give me a sermon?
Come on, accompany me home.
622
01:22:56,712 --> 01:23:01,421
It's dead out here tonight...
Look, only 20,000 lira...
623
01:23:02,175 --> 01:23:05,757
- You make more than a surveyor!
- I'm sure you're right.
624
01:23:06,304 --> 01:23:10,087
- But, you live a vice-ridden life.
- Vice? - Being a whore.
625
01:23:10,682 --> 01:23:15,142
It's as clean as any other job,
and better than politics. Let's go.
626
01:23:15,979 --> 01:23:20,438
Come on, look sharp! Happy!
I don't want to look at you all downcast.
627
01:23:21,316 --> 01:23:26,143
- "I don't know you... "
- Hi Gilda, have you hooked up with Onassis?
628
01:23:28,656 --> 01:23:34,658
Tell the truth, did you kiss me
for feelings or for lust?
629
01:23:35,494 --> 01:23:41,532
I don't know, I did it because...
it was spontaneous.
630
01:23:44,127 --> 01:23:48,953
So then... you'd like
me to be your young man?
631
01:23:49,673 --> 01:23:55,960
I don't know... I like you
because you seem like a good boy.
632
01:23:57,930 --> 01:24:00,172
You fascinate me too.
633
01:24:00,516 --> 01:24:04,595
- I've only seen girls like you in films.
- Oh please!
634
01:24:05,186 --> 01:24:09,183
- I'm serious! Even on television.
- You're silly...
635
01:24:09,773 --> 01:24:15,775
- You look like Mina.
- Everyone tells me that. I love her!
636
01:24:16,654 --> 01:24:21,196
- Sing me something... Gilda, please.
- I'm ashamed!
637
01:24:21,908 --> 01:24:25,858
- What do you want me to sing?
- The song that you were singing earlier.
638
01:24:26,454 --> 01:24:31,828
- "I don't know you, who you are... "
- How tuneful!
639
01:24:32,834 --> 01:24:37,994
- What eyes you have!
- You're really nice. - Thank you!
640
01:24:48,472 --> 01:24:53,050
If you give up your job,
we could become an item.
641
01:24:53,727 --> 01:24:59,017
You could be my girlfriend, then my
fiancée, and then mother of our children.
642
01:24:59,774 --> 01:25:03,818
You left out being a grandmother!
Are you crazy!
643
01:25:04,403 --> 01:25:08,530
I'm already married, see the ring?
I've also got a baby, Luigino.
644
01:25:09,115 --> 01:25:12,982
But... we're separated now.
645
01:25:13,536 --> 01:25:19,822
As well as a whore, you've entered wedlock!
One illusion after another!
646
01:25:20,750 --> 01:25:24,415
Whore your sister!
What planet are you from?
647
01:25:24,962 --> 01:25:29,041
- I'm made like this, what's so strange?
- Don't get angry!
648
01:25:29,632 --> 01:25:33,795
If you want, come upstairs, if not
kiss goodbye...
649
01:25:35,137 --> 01:25:37,129
...and don't look back.
650
01:25:37,472 --> 01:25:42,050
- So, what do I do? - I don't know.
- I forgive you once more.
651
01:25:43,977 --> 01:25:48,555
- But don't get angry. I forgive you.
- Come on then, upstairs!
652
01:25:49,482 --> 01:25:51,309
I forgive you!
653
01:25:56,363 --> 01:25:59,696
- But don't get angry!
- Watch out for the Hortensias!
654
01:26:12,418 --> 01:26:14,826
I'm coming!
655
01:26:21,593 --> 01:26:28,638
Mary, mother of God!
It's like being on television!
656
01:26:33,603 --> 01:26:40,731
Do you like it, dear? It was furnished
by a client, Baraldi, the architect.
657
01:26:48,324 --> 01:26:51,110
There's even a rug!
658
01:26:53,536 --> 01:26:58,992
That's Spitz. He won seven gold medals
in Monaco. He looks like you.
659
01:27:01,085 --> 01:27:07,252
Do you want to sleep in the bed with me
or on the sofa...
660
01:27:08,632 --> 01:27:13,174
- I've never gone to bed with a woman.
Never?
661
01:27:13,845 --> 01:27:17,048
I've made love over the years,
but always standing up.
662
01:27:17,514 --> 01:27:21,097
If it won't bother you,
I'd prefer to cuddle up to you.
663
01:27:21,602 --> 01:27:24,804
No, it won't disturb me...
664
01:27:25,647 --> 01:27:29,858
Despite my job,
at nights... I'm always alone.
665
01:27:31,777 --> 01:27:35,228
It's always beautiful to feel the breath
of a nearby companion,...
666
01:27:35,780 --> 01:27:39,362
...someone who...
squeezes your hand...
667
01:27:40,450 --> 01:27:43,202
I shall withdraw for a moment.
668
01:27:46,748 --> 01:27:51,076
Make yourself at home, maybe
even give yourself a little wash.
669
01:27:53,336 --> 01:27:56,041
"Love... "
670
01:28:00,300 --> 01:28:08,473
"I want it to be love,
love, the real kind... "
671
01:28:12,603 --> 01:28:17,976
"I want it to be... "
672
01:28:18,942 --> 01:28:23,732
She is a fascinating woman,
with such an amazing apartment...
673
01:28:24,571 --> 01:28:27,691
What a shame she has
a thing for that bisexual...
674
01:28:28,157 --> 01:28:32,154
I'll tell her loud and clear:
I'm the man here!
675
01:28:35,330 --> 01:28:38,450
From tomorrow you must suspend
your illicit profession...
676
01:28:38,916 --> 01:28:42,036
...otherwise I won't
squeeze your hand tonight.
677
01:28:43,128 --> 01:28:45,880
She's getting ready for bedtime...
678
01:28:57,349 --> 01:29:00,468
A bearded lady is always a pleasure.
679
01:29:12,778 --> 01:29:15,269
She pees like a man...
680
01:29:22,411 --> 01:29:25,365
Mary, mother of God, she's a man!
681
01:29:27,290 --> 01:29:31,453
Oh my God, that's disgusting!
I'm getting out of here!
682
01:29:32,044 --> 01:29:34,037
Going to bed with a man?
683
01:29:34,380 --> 01:29:37,665
Standing up or with a sheep is fine,
but it has to be female!
684
01:29:38,174 --> 01:29:42,385
- Nino, where are you going?
- It's the end of the affair. I'm off.
685
01:29:43,596 --> 01:29:47,806
- But, why?
- I discovered your secret identity, Gilda!
686
01:29:48,975 --> 01:29:53,436
- You're a man!
- Man or woman... is it important, really?
687
01:29:54,105 --> 01:29:57,390
Yes, it's important!
Prostitute and married is fine!
688
01:29:57,900 --> 01:30:00,141
As long as you're of the feminine species!
689
01:30:00,485 --> 01:30:03,984
- You're still worried about little details?
- They're not details!
690
01:30:04,531 --> 01:30:08,859
I'm telling you this, from man to man,
God forgives, I don't.
691
01:30:15,373 --> 01:30:19,370
Bourgeois! Conformist!
692
01:30:25,048 --> 01:30:28,297
- Fascist!
- Homo!
693
01:30:37,058 --> 01:30:41,185
The truth is, I had already
developed feelings for her!
694
01:30:41,770 --> 01:30:45,814
I was already thinking of our future.
695
01:30:46,399 --> 01:30:48,604
Then I discovered the betrayal.
696
01:30:48,943 --> 01:30:52,940
I read that in Sweden two men got married.
697
01:30:53,529 --> 01:30:57,859
A couple must be formed
of a male and a female.
698
01:30:58,492 --> 01:31:02,987
If it's between two males, it's not
a couple, just filth.
699
01:31:03,664 --> 01:31:07,826
She was so beautiful, you know!
With just one tiny defect!
700
01:31:08,459 --> 01:31:12,242
And, speaking frankly
is wasn't that small, either.
701
01:31:16,507 --> 01:31:19,757
Thanks, dear! Don't cheat on me
or I'll hit you!
702
01:31:21,303 --> 01:31:23,378
I'll keep him sweet, 30,000!
703
01:31:23,721 --> 01:31:27,968
- At home or in the car? - Car.
- Shit! - You bitch! show!
704
01:31:28,893 --> 01:31:32,640
- What a lovely blush, where'd you get it?
- Montenapoleone.
705
01:31:33,188 --> 01:31:36,771
" I don't know you... "
706
01:31:47,534 --> 01:31:49,360
Nino?
707
01:31:53,914 --> 01:31:55,953
Gilda...
708
01:31:59,418 --> 01:32:03,581
Gilda, I... cannot remain apart from you.
709
01:32:05,965 --> 01:32:08,123
Nor I from you!
710
01:32:09,302 --> 01:32:11,756
- Gilda...
- Nino...
711
01:32:12,137 --> 01:32:16,217
Can a man choose a male
for his legitimate companion?
712
01:32:16,808 --> 01:32:21,303
Certainly he can.
He only has to want to.
713
01:32:24,314 --> 01:32:28,264
- Gilda! I want to.
- Really?
714
01:32:29,694 --> 01:32:34,355
Nino... Nino...
715
01:32:35,032 --> 01:32:38,981
I'm coming! What manners!
I was talking with my fiancée.
716
01:32:39,578 --> 01:32:43,241
- Not tonight, mister.
I'm indisposed.
717
01:33:01,137 --> 01:33:05,514
I made it weak, or you won't sleep.
You're always hungry.
718
01:33:06,183 --> 01:33:10,512
- What a mess! How many sugars?
- Three.
719
01:33:11,145 --> 01:33:15,308
- Do you like it bitter? None for me,
I've got 3 kilos to lose.
720
01:33:16,275 --> 01:33:18,943
Can you unlace me?
721
01:33:19,945 --> 01:33:24,156
- What a beautiful outfit. - We'll have
a small liqueur and then off to bed.
722
01:33:27,659 --> 01:33:31,110
- Did you eat well?
- Well enough. Is he a relative?
723
01:33:31,621 --> 01:33:35,570
No, it's Marlon!
I go crazy for Brando.
724
01:33:39,253 --> 01:33:42,337
- Allow me.
- Sweetie...
725
01:33:43,047 --> 01:33:46,747
You bet I'm against it!
Why do I have to join the Union?
726
01:33:47,300 --> 01:33:52,377
- To defend your interests!
- Defend you're own, you homo!
727
01:33:53,139 --> 01:33:56,589
We don't go in for wanking off
people in the cinema!
728
01:33:57,142 --> 01:34:01,436
- We're not pedophiles or homosexuals,
we're women!
729
01:34:02,063 --> 01:34:05,562
- We're ladies!
- Then why are you called Giuseppe?
730
01:34:06,066 --> 01:34:10,111
- Oh, fuck off! - We've got
nothing to do with your 'problem'!
731
01:34:10,696 --> 01:34:13,945
We could be part of the
women's liberation front!
732
01:34:14,448 --> 01:34:18,577
- We're not ashamed. Who are you?
- Valeria. - Monica.
733
01:34:19,203 --> 01:34:22,820
I'm Gilda. Today, like any other
I'm Miss Gilda!
734
01:34:23,373 --> 01:34:27,535
- Your wife's looking for you.
- Oh Christ, there she is.
735
01:34:32,839 --> 01:34:36,338
You know I don't like it when you come
to my work place. What is it?
736
01:34:36,884 --> 01:34:40,797
- Luigino is ill. He's got a fever.
- It's not serious?
737
01:34:41,388 --> 01:34:45,219
- I've got to buy medicine.
- OK, I understand.
738
01:34:45,766 --> 01:34:49,265
I don't fall behind, you know?
739
01:34:50,229 --> 01:34:54,475
- You could get your hair done, though.
- With all I have to do?.
740
01:34:55,108 --> 01:34:59,057
You always were... Later!
You always were so dowdy!
741
01:34:59,653 --> 01:35:05,026
.. oh it's only Borghetti...
I'll bring you one of my left-over dresses.
742
01:35:06,492 --> 01:35:11,070
Something simple, maybe.
Take it, go on. Bye.
743
01:35:13,999 --> 01:35:18,577
- Bye. Say hello to Luigino.
- Thanks.
744
01:35:20,504 --> 01:35:22,330
Walk upright!
745
01:35:27,719 --> 01:35:32,427
- I brought you a cappuccino.
- Thanks. You're always so kind.
746
01:35:33,140 --> 01:35:37,599
- Isn't that Antonietta?
- Why do you know her?
747
01:35:38,228 --> 01:35:42,176
- Sort of. Do you know her?
- She's my wife.
748
01:35:42,773 --> 01:35:46,686
One of my brothers
is married to her also.
749
01:35:52,073 --> 01:35:56,449
Gilda... you're name isn't Cosimo,
by any chance?
750
01:35:57,118 --> 01:36:00,901
Yes, Cosimo Berraldi from Carbonara...
751
01:36:01,455 --> 01:36:05,832
- But then, you...
- You're Saturnino?!
752
01:36:06,502 --> 01:36:09,870
- Saturnino, that's me!
- You're my brother!
753
01:36:28,478 --> 01:36:32,641
- What kind of shit pile am I caught up in?
- Mary, mother of God!
754
01:36:33,441 --> 01:36:38,434
- Saturnino, but... - Why didn't you
identify me on the first day?
755
01:36:39,196 --> 01:36:42,113
And why didn't you recognize me, maybe?
756
01:36:42,532 --> 01:36:45,734
When I left home, you were 10!
757
01:36:46,243 --> 01:36:50,287
And now...
you've changed a lot!
758
01:36:50,872 --> 01:36:55,201
And you haven't?
You're more changed than me!
759
01:36:55,834 --> 01:36:58,871
- Queer!
- Oh yes? And you?
760
01:37:06,760 --> 01:37:10,971
- .. what a shame...
- What shame?
761
01:37:12,389 --> 01:37:19,186
I thought...
instead of being a man, you were a woman...
762
01:37:20,897 --> 01:37:23,897
.. instead of being a whore,
you were respectably employed...
763
01:37:24,359 --> 01:37:26,932
.. instead of being married
you were unattached,...
764
01:37:27,319 --> 01:37:30,902
- And if instead of being my brother,
you were a female cousin...
765
01:37:31,406 --> 01:37:35,533
We could have celebrated our ecstasy
and been happy.
766
01:37:38,162 --> 01:37:42,870
Nino...
it was destiny brought us together...
767
01:37:46,335 --> 01:37:49,004
.. and destiny that separates us.
768
01:37:50,965 --> 01:37:53,289
That's life.
60847
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