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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,838 --> 00:00:08,300 Ba-ba-ba-ba, ba-ba-ba-ba 2 00:00:08,300 --> 00:00:12,262 Ba-ba, da-da-da-da-da-da da-da-da 3 00:00:12,262 --> 00:00:14,853 Ripped and corrected by - YoungJedi - 4 00:00:15,557 --> 00:00:18,393 Being in a new relationship is great, 5 00:00:18,393 --> 00:00:20,229 but everyone has a past. 6 00:00:20,229 --> 00:00:22,064 And back when I was young, 7 00:00:22,064 --> 00:00:25,567 technology had a way of bringing that past into the present. 8 00:00:25,567 --> 00:00:29,196 So, after I took the kid's phone, I turn around and said, 9 00:00:29,780 --> 00:00:32,031 "Not on my school bus." 10 00:00:37,079 --> 00:00:39,706 That is so funny! 11 00:00:39,706 --> 00:00:41,625 Big laugh for a boring story, 12 00:00:41,625 --> 00:00:43,168 followed with a little arm squeeze. 13 00:00:43,168 --> 00:00:45,629 You guys are, like, really into each other, huh? 14 00:00:46,630 --> 00:00:49,675 Hello. Hello. Hello. 15 00:00:49,675 --> 00:00:50,592 Drushi! 16 00:00:51,009 --> 00:00:52,886 Oh, that's what we called Drew in college 17 00:00:52,886 --> 00:00:54,596 because his dorm room always smelled like fish. 18 00:00:55,597 --> 00:00:56,932 I didn't know you were coming to town. 19 00:00:56,932 --> 00:00:58,559 Yeah, I convinced my attending 20 00:00:58,559 --> 00:01:00,762 to clear my surgeries for the weekend, so we could check out 21 00:01:00,762 --> 00:01:02,006 - some wedding venues. - Mm-hmm! 22 00:01:02,521 --> 00:01:04,606 Guys, I think we found the perfect venue. 23 00:01:04,606 --> 00:01:06,108 Creation at Wicker Farm. 24 00:01:06,108 --> 00:01:08,402 Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. 25 00:01:08,402 --> 00:01:09,987 It's this gorgeous hotel restaurant upstate. 26 00:01:09,987 --> 00:01:11,655 We're gonna spend the weekend there, do a tasting, 27 00:01:11,655 --> 00:01:14,408 and they told us we can invite two extra people. So-- 28 00:01:14,408 --> 00:01:17,911 Yes! In! I am creating a road trip playlist as we speak. 29 00:01:17,911 --> 00:01:20,080 Text me the route because I want Life Is a Highway 30 00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:22,374 to kick in the moment we pull onto... 31 00:01:22,374 --> 00:01:24,626 an actual highway? Huh? 32 00:01:25,460 --> 00:01:27,045 We were gonna ask Sophie and Drew. 33 00:01:28,046 --> 00:01:30,757 Sophie and Drew just started dating. 34 00:01:30,757 --> 00:01:33,051 I'm not sure they're ready for a weekend getaway. 35 00:01:33,051 --> 00:01:34,136 They've been dating for a month. 36 00:01:34,136 --> 00:01:36,555 No, I know, I know. It's just that, you know, uh, 37 00:01:36,555 --> 00:01:37,973 a weekend getaway's a big step, 38 00:01:37,973 --> 00:01:40,851 and I'm sure these two don't want that just sprung on them like that. 39 00:01:40,851 --> 00:01:41,685 We're in! 40 00:01:41,685 --> 00:01:43,145 - Oh great! - Good. Fantastic. 41 00:01:43,145 --> 00:01:44,646 Oh... good... 42 00:01:44,646 --> 00:01:45,689 Jesse, 43 00:01:45,689 --> 00:01:48,275 this is like a couple's thing, you know? You're a lone wolf. 44 00:01:48,275 --> 00:01:50,694 Cool euphemism for pathetically single. 45 00:01:51,320 --> 00:01:52,696 But, actually, you're way off, okay? 46 00:01:52,696 --> 00:01:55,616 I just started seeing this totally awesome girl named Mia. 47 00:01:55,616 --> 00:01:58,911 And I like her so much, I've even come up with one of those cute little... 48 00:01:58,911 --> 00:02:01,496 punny... couple names for us. 49 00:02:01,496 --> 00:02:04,249 Mia and Jesse. We're Messy. 50 00:02:05,667 --> 00:02:07,211 Hello, customers! 51 00:02:07,711 --> 00:02:10,714 I hope you all like beer... 52 00:02:11,465 --> 00:02:13,467 because I forgot what you actually ordered. 53 00:02:13,842 --> 00:02:17,346 Hey, Charlie, here's a copy of your start papers and your passport. 54 00:02:17,346 --> 00:02:18,847 No idea why I photocopied it 55 00:02:18,847 --> 00:02:21,183 because you working here is, like, completely illegal. 56 00:02:22,809 --> 00:02:25,229 Man! You've been everywhere. 57 00:02:25,229 --> 00:02:26,688 You were in Brazil six months ago? 58 00:02:26,688 --> 00:02:28,690 Yes. On a family trip. 59 00:02:29,566 --> 00:02:31,485 I dated a Brazilian once. 60 00:02:31,485 --> 00:02:33,362 I didn't speak Portuguese, he didn't speak English, 61 00:02:33,362 --> 00:02:35,239 so we had to speak with our bodies, 62 00:02:35,239 --> 00:02:37,950 and those conversations went deep. 63 00:02:37,950 --> 00:02:40,536 - Hoo-yeah! - Another charming tale. 64 00:02:40,536 --> 00:02:41,870 I do love it when you casually work 65 00:02:41,870 --> 00:02:44,790 your previous sexual exploits into conversation. It's such fun! 66 00:02:44,790 --> 00:02:46,041 Oh, Charlie! 67 00:02:46,750 --> 00:02:48,627 First paycheck. 68 00:02:48,627 --> 00:02:50,254 New job. New apartment. 69 00:02:50,754 --> 00:02:53,173 I'm going to throw a lavish housewarming dinner party this weekend 70 00:02:53,173 --> 00:02:54,967 to celebrate my many accomplishments. 71 00:02:54,967 --> 00:02:56,260 Ellen. 72 00:02:56,260 --> 00:02:59,513 You can invite that lucky lady who swiped your post-divorce V-card last week. 73 00:02:59,513 --> 00:03:00,848 What? 74 00:03:00,848 --> 00:03:03,183 No, no, no. I-I'm not inviting her. 75 00:03:03,642 --> 00:03:04,893 Alright, fine. Just us then. 76 00:03:05,477 --> 00:03:07,020 Sorry to miss it. Sid and I 77 00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:09,481 are actually taking a weekend trip with Drew and Stacey. 78 00:03:10,524 --> 00:03:11,733 Sophie. 79 00:03:11,733 --> 00:03:13,235 - Sorry. - Oh. 80 00:03:13,235 --> 00:03:14,862 It's okay. 81 00:03:14,862 --> 00:03:16,238 Who is Stacey? 82 00:03:18,031 --> 00:03:20,617 My ex was named Stacey. 83 00:03:20,617 --> 00:03:22,953 Uh, we hung out with Sid and Hannah a lot 84 00:03:22,953 --> 00:03:25,273 when we were together, hence the, uh, mix-up. 85 00:03:25,298 --> 00:03:25,873 Oh. 86 00:03:25,980 --> 00:03:27,749 Sorry. Won't happen again. 87 00:03:27,749 --> 00:03:29,376 Already forgotten about it. 88 00:03:29,376 --> 00:03:30,627 I can't stop thinking about it! 89 00:03:31,628 --> 00:03:33,547 Like, I need to know who this Stacey girl is, 90 00:03:33,547 --> 00:03:35,090 but I have no idea how to find her! 91 00:03:35,090 --> 00:03:36,675 And I found her. 92 00:03:36,675 --> 00:03:38,552 What? How? 93 00:03:38,552 --> 00:03:39,803 Simple. Sid is friends with Hannah, 94 00:03:39,803 --> 00:03:41,597 so I found her account, went to her tagged photos, 95 00:03:41,597 --> 00:03:44,266 scrolled back until I found a pic of Hannah with a Staceycakes92 96 00:03:44,266 --> 00:03:46,977 where both S's are dollar signs. But Staceycakes is obvi gay, 97 00:03:46,977 --> 00:03:49,104 so I started looking for girls who comment on Hannah's posts a lot, 98 00:03:49,104 --> 00:03:50,397 and found a Stacey Fletcher, 99 00:03:50,397 --> 00:03:52,649 who always says Hannah's outfits are fire. 100 00:03:52,649 --> 00:03:54,693 So, I clicked on her IG, scrolled back a couple of years, 101 00:03:54,693 --> 00:03:56,320 and boomshakalakaboom. 102 00:03:56,320 --> 00:03:58,238 Sophie meet Stacey, 103 00:03:58,238 --> 00:04:00,949 or Stacey circa two years ago when she was dating Drew. 104 00:04:01,992 --> 00:04:04,203 How many boardwalks did they eat ice cream on? 105 00:04:05,495 --> 00:04:07,497 This is not what I needed to see right before Drew and I 106 00:04:07,497 --> 00:04:08,790 have sex for the first time. 107 00:04:08,790 --> 00:04:10,209 You haven't had sex yet? 108 00:04:11,043 --> 00:04:14,922 So, that's why you nerds were so giggly about your romantic weekend. 109 00:04:14,922 --> 00:04:17,216 Yeah. And I like that we waited. 110 00:04:17,716 --> 00:04:20,802 Plus, doing it for the first time in a bougie-ass hotel 111 00:04:20,802 --> 00:04:22,513 is romantic as balls. 112 00:04:23,722 --> 00:04:26,517 Now, I'm just gonna be comparing myself to Stacey the whole time 113 00:04:26,517 --> 00:04:29,520 and thinking about how she can roller skate backwards in a sun dress. 114 00:04:30,582 --> 00:04:33,106 Soph, everyone has exes. 115 00:04:33,106 --> 00:04:35,901 Do not get in your head about this. 116 00:04:35,901 --> 00:04:37,444 Repeat after me. 117 00:04:37,444 --> 00:04:39,613 I... am... 118 00:04:39,613 --> 00:04:40,614 sex. 119 00:04:42,407 --> 00:04:44,618 I... am... sex. 120 00:04:45,911 --> 00:04:47,371 Louder. 121 00:04:47,371 --> 00:04:50,958 I! Am! Sex! 122 00:04:51,667 --> 00:04:54,753 I! Am! Sex! 123 00:04:55,212 --> 00:04:58,632 We get it! You're sex! Shut the hell up! 124 00:05:04,888 --> 00:05:07,391 Voilà! A dining table. 125 00:05:11,144 --> 00:05:14,606 Ellen, are we eating on Amazon boxes covered in your unicorn bed sheets? 126 00:05:14,606 --> 00:05:17,693 Pottery Barn Kids is way cheaper than Pottery Barn regular. 127 00:05:20,445 --> 00:05:22,155 Is that all the food? 128 00:05:22,155 --> 00:05:23,407 Unfortunately, yes. 129 00:05:23,407 --> 00:05:26,702 I may have overestimated how far a bartender's paycheck would go. 130 00:05:27,494 --> 00:05:29,037 Why didn't you just buy cheaper stuff? 131 00:05:29,037 --> 00:05:30,455 Cheaper stuff? What do you want me to do, 132 00:05:30,455 --> 00:05:33,000 serve chunks of pepper jack and pigs in a blanket? 133 00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:35,669 This is the first dinner we're hosting, Ellen. 134 00:05:35,669 --> 00:05:38,672 Tonight will set the tenor for our entire social lives. 135 00:05:38,672 --> 00:05:42,134 Dude, we're eating dinner with my brother and your girlfriend 136 00:05:42,134 --> 00:05:43,969 on a table made of boxes. 137 00:05:43,969 --> 00:05:46,138 Oh my god, they're here already! 138 00:05:46,138 --> 00:05:49,683 Alright, Ellen. Remember, we are the hosts. 139 00:05:49,683 --> 00:05:51,643 If we're having fun, they're having fun. 140 00:05:51,643 --> 00:05:53,020 Ready? 141 00:05:53,020 --> 00:05:56,481 Hello! 142 00:05:56,481 --> 00:05:59,026 Ellen was just telling me the most winning of anecdotes. 143 00:05:59,026 --> 00:06:00,319 Come in! Come in! 144 00:06:00,319 --> 00:06:02,529 Uh, guys, this is Mia. 145 00:06:02,529 --> 00:06:05,532 Mia, this is Charlie, and this is my sister Ellen. 146 00:06:07,367 --> 00:06:08,911 Mia. Hi. 147 00:06:09,661 --> 00:06:13,081 It is so nice to meet you. For the first time. 148 00:06:15,250 --> 00:06:16,460 Oh, is that real leopard? 149 00:06:17,085 --> 00:06:19,213 No, this is a shirt 150 00:06:19,213 --> 00:06:21,215 with a design on it. 151 00:06:21,215 --> 00:06:25,010 Still, how would you feel if I had your skin printed on a shirt? 152 00:06:25,636 --> 00:06:26,970 Mia is an activist. 153 00:06:26,970 --> 00:06:28,764 She's really passionate about her causes, 154 00:06:28,764 --> 00:06:30,849 which I find to be really inspiring. 155 00:06:30,849 --> 00:06:34,019 Mia! I would like to give you the tour. Uh... 156 00:06:35,145 --> 00:06:38,690 This is the living-dining-kitchen- guest-bed-breakfast-nook-foyer-room, 157 00:06:38,690 --> 00:06:40,984 and over here is... 158 00:06:41,818 --> 00:06:43,487 Hello, Mia. 159 00:06:44,029 --> 00:06:46,615 Hello, woman who never responded to my many voice texts 160 00:06:46,615 --> 00:06:48,283 after using me for sex. 161 00:06:48,283 --> 00:06:49,660 - Shh... - Oh, it is you! 162 00:06:49,660 --> 00:06:51,203 I was drinking an iced coffee, 163 00:06:51,203 --> 00:06:53,997 and you shouted at me for using a straw even though it actually was made of paper. 164 00:06:53,997 --> 00:06:55,874 Shh! Look, 165 00:06:55,874 --> 00:06:59,127 I think it would be best if Jesse doesn't find out... 166 00:06:59,878 --> 00:07:01,630 - we... - Oh, I'm not comfortable lying. 167 00:07:01,630 --> 00:07:03,590 I leave that to the politicians. 168 00:07:04,049 --> 00:07:06,885 Please. He's coming off a really bad breakup. 169 00:07:06,885 --> 00:07:09,763 If he finds out that the first girl he's been into since his ex 170 00:07:09,763 --> 00:07:11,515 slept with his sister... 171 00:07:11,515 --> 00:07:12,850 it'll scar him for life. 172 00:07:12,850 --> 00:07:15,227 Plus, this is our first social event together, 173 00:07:15,227 --> 00:07:18,480 and a brother and sister having shared a lover is a bit unseemly. 174 00:07:19,898 --> 00:07:21,650 Fine. I'll keep your secret, 175 00:07:21,650 --> 00:07:24,319 but only because I would never want to hurt Jesse. 176 00:07:24,319 --> 00:07:25,612 You are lucky I'm an empath. 177 00:07:27,030 --> 00:07:28,740 Disaster averted. Now, 178 00:07:28,740 --> 00:07:30,909 shall we give everyone their one oyster? 179 00:07:33,996 --> 00:07:36,790 Welcome to Creation at Wicker Farm. 180 00:07:36,790 --> 00:07:38,292 I'm Grant Rose. 181 00:07:39,376 --> 00:07:40,169 The owner. 182 00:07:40,169 --> 00:07:43,297 Uh, yeah, no, I could tell. Um, I own a bar in Manhattan. 183 00:07:43,297 --> 00:07:45,424 We both have BOE-- Big owner energy. 184 00:07:45,424 --> 00:07:47,176 Creation 185 00:07:47,176 --> 00:07:49,970 is the world's first hyper-local restaurant. 186 00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:52,806 All of our food is sourced from the farm, 187 00:07:52,806 --> 00:07:54,683 but everything else you see here 188 00:07:54,683 --> 00:07:58,270 was also made from materials found on the property. 189 00:07:58,770 --> 00:08:01,315 Wow! So, the-the entire building? 190 00:08:01,315 --> 00:08:03,942 Built from cedar trees from the forest behind us. 191 00:08:04,484 --> 00:08:06,236 What about the host? 192 00:08:06,236 --> 00:08:07,905 You didn't make him? 193 00:08:07,905 --> 00:08:09,990 Actually, I did. He's my son! 194 00:08:09,990 --> 00:08:11,867 Oh! 195 00:08:11,867 --> 00:08:14,328 Conceived in the room you're actually staying in. 196 00:08:15,037 --> 00:08:16,705 Kinda gross. 197 00:08:23,212 --> 00:08:25,005 This place is super romantic. 198 00:08:25,005 --> 00:08:26,465 Hope our room has the same vibe. 199 00:08:26,924 --> 00:08:29,718 I know it will 'cause we're staying in it. 200 00:08:33,472 --> 00:08:34,973 I am sex... 201 00:08:38,644 --> 00:08:40,312 Wait a sec. 202 00:08:43,398 --> 00:08:45,025 He took Stacey here. 203 00:08:47,486 --> 00:08:49,863 What nerd created this devil app? 204 00:08:56,078 --> 00:08:59,164 I am very excited for this risotto. 205 00:09:00,332 --> 00:09:01,959 Why? You had it before? 206 00:09:03,293 --> 00:09:05,462 - No, just hungry. - Oh. 207 00:09:06,964 --> 00:09:10,592 I only ask because I-I saw you walk to the... bathroom, 208 00:09:10,592 --> 00:09:12,636 and it seemed like you really knew your way around. 209 00:09:12,636 --> 00:09:14,888 Hm. Well, I've never been here, 210 00:09:14,888 --> 00:09:17,975 but I'm glad to know you like to watch me walk away. 211 00:09:18,767 --> 00:09:21,144 I like cute butts, and I cannot lie. 212 00:09:24,022 --> 00:09:27,860 Sid, I am definitely picking up on your BOE. 213 00:09:27,860 --> 00:09:30,362 Oh my god, BOE is happening... 214 00:09:31,572 --> 00:09:34,032 What made you decide to open your own place? 215 00:09:34,032 --> 00:09:36,785 Well, I grew up in India, and like all good Indians, 216 00:09:36,785 --> 00:09:38,537 my dad and I spent our afternoons watching 217 00:09:38,537 --> 00:09:39,830 movies about New York City. 218 00:09:39,830 --> 00:09:41,498 In springtime in New York... 219 00:09:55,304 --> 00:09:57,097 So, my family moved to New York, 220 00:09:57,097 --> 00:09:58,640 I studied hard, got into med school. 221 00:09:58,640 --> 00:10:01,143 That's where Hannah and I met. 222 00:10:01,143 --> 00:10:02,519 She was born to be a doctor. 223 00:10:02,519 --> 00:10:04,521 Me? 224 00:10:04,521 --> 00:10:06,106 Not so much. 225 00:10:07,149 --> 00:10:10,694 But, I did love the bar where I spent hours and hours studying, 226 00:10:10,694 --> 00:10:12,654 and I loved the man who owned it. 227 00:10:12,654 --> 00:10:14,615 Archie. 228 00:10:14,615 --> 00:10:16,158 And then one day... 229 00:10:17,618 --> 00:10:19,203 Archie passed away, 230 00:10:19,203 --> 00:10:22,206 and suddenly, what I had to do was crystal clear. 231 00:10:22,206 --> 00:10:24,917 So, I took out a loan and bought the bar. 232 00:10:24,917 --> 00:10:27,377 It was a big swing, but felt like the right decision 233 00:10:27,377 --> 00:10:28,587 And, uh, 234 00:10:28,587 --> 00:10:30,506 Hannah supported me the entire time. 235 00:10:30,506 --> 00:10:32,007 Hm. Of course I did. 236 00:10:32,007 --> 00:10:34,259 Wow, what an incredible story. 237 00:10:34,259 --> 00:10:35,636 And equally incredible, 238 00:10:35,636 --> 00:10:37,513 our lobster risotto... 239 00:10:37,513 --> 00:10:39,973 with an edible fork... 240 00:10:39,973 --> 00:10:41,683 made of focaccia. 241 00:10:42,851 --> 00:10:44,353 Wait a second. 242 00:10:53,153 --> 00:10:54,905 - Everything okay? - Mm-hmm! 243 00:10:58,825 --> 00:11:01,370 - I remember those sheets... - Shut up, shut up, shut up. 244 00:11:03,330 --> 00:11:05,749 Everyone, please pluck one leaf 245 00:11:05,749 --> 00:11:07,876 and pass it to the left. 246 00:11:08,502 --> 00:11:11,255 So, a pluck... 247 00:11:11,255 --> 00:11:13,006 and pass. Give it a go. 248 00:11:14,132 --> 00:11:16,343 I tell you, I do feel sorry for Sophie and Sid. 249 00:11:16,343 --> 00:11:18,303 They are missing the party of the century. 250 00:11:18,303 --> 00:11:20,389 I said one leaf, Mia. 251 00:11:21,557 --> 00:11:23,016 I hope Sophie's doing okay. 252 00:11:23,016 --> 00:11:26,103 She was really in her head about Drew's ex before she left. 253 00:11:26,103 --> 00:11:28,355 I wish she was more... Zen. 254 00:11:28,355 --> 00:11:30,607 Like Charlie. He doesn't care at all when I talk about my exes. 255 00:11:31,441 --> 00:11:33,110 No, not at all. 256 00:11:33,110 --> 00:11:36,113 Now, is anyone following the Polo Premier League? 257 00:11:36,113 --> 00:11:38,365 My relationship history is an open book. 258 00:11:38,365 --> 00:11:40,200 Books, actually. 259 00:11:41,243 --> 00:11:42,744 And it's a long one. 260 00:11:42,744 --> 00:11:44,621 Actually, Valentina, I hate it, alright? 261 00:11:44,621 --> 00:11:45,706 Really? Why? 262 00:11:45,706 --> 00:11:48,166 I wouldn't care if you talked about your exes at all. 263 00:11:48,834 --> 00:11:49,835 Alright, fine. 264 00:11:50,711 --> 00:11:52,546 Remember when you were looking through my passport, 265 00:11:52,546 --> 00:11:54,548 and I said I went to Brazil on a family trip? 266 00:11:55,215 --> 00:11:57,759 Well, I lied. I went there for a girl. 267 00:11:57,759 --> 00:11:59,511 Ooh... 268 00:11:59,511 --> 00:12:02,514 So, you had a fling with a woman in Brazil. 269 00:12:03,182 --> 00:12:04,892 Good for you. 270 00:12:05,642 --> 00:12:07,436 Actually, it was a bit more than that. 271 00:12:08,854 --> 00:12:11,064 I moved to Brazil... to be with her. 272 00:12:11,064 --> 00:12:13,066 Ooh... 273 00:12:13,984 --> 00:12:15,235 Oh. 274 00:12:16,278 --> 00:12:19,698 So, I'm not the only woman you've moved to another country for. 275 00:12:20,490 --> 00:12:22,201 Cool. 276 00:12:23,160 --> 00:12:24,286 Fun. 277 00:12:30,375 --> 00:12:32,002 More wine, anyone? 278 00:12:35,714 --> 00:12:38,509 Let's prove you're lying, you lying liar. 279 00:12:42,930 --> 00:12:45,057 Ha! I knew it. 280 00:12:45,057 --> 00:12:48,519 Of course, Stacey's handwriting's in cursive. 281 00:12:48,519 --> 00:12:50,437 We get it. You're smart. 282 00:12:57,945 --> 00:13:01,198 And that is the entire Wikipedia entry on colonialism. 283 00:13:01,615 --> 00:13:03,116 Wow. 284 00:13:03,116 --> 00:13:04,618 Wow. 285 00:13:05,118 --> 00:13:08,038 Hey, just a few of super-chill follow-up questions 286 00:13:08,038 --> 00:13:10,707 to that fun story you told about the Brazilian girl... 287 00:13:10,707 --> 00:13:13,836 Valentina, I was just proving a point that nobody likes to hear about exes. 288 00:13:13,836 --> 00:13:16,004 Okay? No need to dwell on it. 289 00:13:16,713 --> 00:13:18,131 I don't care that you have exes. 290 00:13:18,131 --> 00:13:21,426 I care that, apparently, you moved across the world 291 00:13:21,426 --> 00:13:23,387 - for another girl. - Girls, okay? 292 00:13:23,387 --> 00:13:24,763 It's happened more than once. 293 00:13:25,764 --> 00:13:26,765 What?! 294 00:13:27,349 --> 00:13:29,059 Jesse? 295 00:13:29,059 --> 00:13:31,603 I don't want our relationship to start on a lie like theirs did. 296 00:13:32,312 --> 00:13:33,438 I slept with your sister. 297 00:13:33,438 --> 00:13:34,982 - What?! - Damn it! 298 00:13:36,358 --> 00:13:38,151 That dinner was amazing. 299 00:13:38,151 --> 00:13:40,487 I mean, I think we found our venue, huh? 300 00:13:41,905 --> 00:13:44,658 Did you just rent a movie without asking me which one? 301 00:13:44,658 --> 00:13:48,370 What? I got the Eternals because your celebrity crush is buff Kumail Nanjiani. 302 00:13:49,955 --> 00:13:50,956 Hold up. 303 00:13:52,040 --> 00:13:53,750 You definitely have a type. 304 00:13:54,668 --> 00:13:58,714 I cannot believe you just made another decision without consulting me! 305 00:13:59,381 --> 00:14:01,175 Okay, this is not about the movie, is it? 306 00:14:01,550 --> 00:14:03,051 No, Sid. 307 00:14:04,178 --> 00:14:06,263 This is about you quitting medical school, 308 00:14:06,263 --> 00:14:08,557 so you could upend our lives and buy a bar. 309 00:14:10,142 --> 00:14:12,603 I thought I was past it, but hearing you tell that story tonight, 310 00:14:12,603 --> 00:14:14,605 it just brought up all these old feelings in me. 311 00:14:15,522 --> 00:14:18,775 I never would have made a decision like that without talking to you. 312 00:14:19,401 --> 00:14:21,862 Hannah, I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings, but, 313 00:14:21,862 --> 00:14:24,239 like, what's done is done. 314 00:14:24,740 --> 00:14:26,241 "What's done is done"? 315 00:14:26,950 --> 00:14:28,535 That's what you have to say? 316 00:14:30,329 --> 00:14:31,830 What's done is done... 317 00:14:33,373 --> 00:14:34,791 please? 318 00:14:39,338 --> 00:14:42,299 I am gonna freshen up real quick, so our night... 319 00:14:42,299 --> 00:14:44,301 can begin. 320 00:14:46,803 --> 00:14:50,182 - That was so lame. Can I take that back? - Uh-huh. 321 00:14:50,849 --> 00:14:53,060 Great. See you soon. 322 00:14:53,852 --> 00:14:56,355 You're an idiot! Be sexier. 323 00:15:02,986 --> 00:15:04,780 Well, Drew definitely brought Stacey here, 324 00:15:04,780 --> 00:15:06,156 and he's lying to me about it. 325 00:15:06,156 --> 00:15:07,449 Are you drunk? 326 00:15:08,158 --> 00:15:11,161 The only thing I'm drunk on is hard truth. 327 00:15:11,161 --> 00:15:12,663 I'm sending you proof. 328 00:15:13,664 --> 00:15:15,457 Did you get it? 329 00:15:16,124 --> 00:15:17,125 Not yet. 330 00:15:18,043 --> 00:15:19,044 Oh, no. 331 00:15:20,754 --> 00:15:23,924 I meant to DM you, but instead, I DM-ed Stacey. 332 00:15:23,924 --> 00:15:26,093 Oh god, oh god, oh god, she's definitely gonna reach out to Drew 333 00:15:26,093 --> 00:15:27,135 and tell him I'm crazy! 334 00:15:27,135 --> 00:15:29,429 Almost as crazy as someone who follows 335 00:15:29,429 --> 00:15:33,141 women around the world, like a horny Carmen San Diego! 336 00:15:35,269 --> 00:15:36,812 So, what are you going to do about Drew? 337 00:15:39,439 --> 00:15:40,941 Something stupid. 338 00:15:49,366 --> 00:15:50,617 Hey, there... 339 00:15:56,164 --> 00:15:57,833 Sophie? What are you doing out here? 340 00:15:57,833 --> 00:15:59,626 I screwed up. 341 00:15:59,626 --> 00:16:00,836 What are you doing out here? 342 00:16:00,836 --> 00:16:02,379 I screwed up, too. 343 00:16:04,882 --> 00:16:05,883 Oh! 344 00:16:07,384 --> 00:16:08,927 Ooh, seems like you screwed up more. 345 00:16:08,927 --> 00:16:10,971 Oh, you screwed up more! Ha, ha! 346 00:16:15,058 --> 00:16:16,643 Sorry, I'm just trying to... 347 00:16:16,643 --> 00:16:18,228 wrap my head around this. Uh... 348 00:16:18,228 --> 00:16:21,106 when exactly did the two of you sleep together? 349 00:16:21,690 --> 00:16:24,193 Monday night. When did you guys meet? 350 00:16:25,777 --> 00:16:27,321 Tuesday morning. 351 00:16:29,323 --> 00:16:31,825 I met her at a coffee shop on my way to your place. 352 00:16:34,036 --> 00:16:35,078 Hi. 353 00:16:35,829 --> 00:16:37,289 Hi. 354 00:16:37,289 --> 00:16:39,541 Okay, that timeline is, uh... 355 00:16:40,417 --> 00:16:41,710 chill. 356 00:16:42,628 --> 00:16:45,547 You know what, I'm not gonna let a... quirky coincidence 357 00:16:45,547 --> 00:16:47,591 stand in the way of me and my relationship. 358 00:16:48,217 --> 00:16:49,593 Wow, you must be amazing in bed. 359 00:16:49,593 --> 00:16:51,512 - She's just okay. - I haven't actually slept with her yet. 360 00:16:51,512 --> 00:16:52,554 Oh my god! 361 00:16:53,805 --> 00:16:55,265 So... 362 00:16:55,265 --> 00:16:58,185 let's do a deep dive here on the old passport. 363 00:16:58,185 --> 00:17:00,896 I say a country, you say why you went there. 364 00:17:00,896 --> 00:17:02,439 - Portugal. - Girl. 365 00:17:02,439 --> 00:17:04,107 - Spain. - Tapas. 366 00:17:04,816 --> 00:17:06,360 It was a girl. 367 00:17:07,528 --> 00:17:08,987 Hey, what's your Wi-Fi? 368 00:17:08,987 --> 00:17:11,698 I need to tweet a bomb threat to Panera Bread 369 00:17:11,698 --> 00:17:14,368 for their appropriation of poppy seeds. 370 00:17:15,077 --> 00:17:16,870 How do you appropriate a seed? 371 00:17:17,246 --> 00:17:19,331 Oh, if you don't know, you're part of the problem. 372 00:17:19,331 --> 00:17:22,334 I can't do this anymore. Mia, you are the worst. 373 00:17:23,585 --> 00:17:25,921 Finally! How did you not see it earlier? 374 00:17:25,921 --> 00:17:28,048 I saw it! I'm just trying to power through 375 00:17:28,048 --> 00:17:29,758 'cause I'm so sick of being single! 376 00:17:30,884 --> 00:17:32,719 It should be me at that dinner tonight. 377 00:17:35,138 --> 00:17:37,057 Because you miss hanging out with Sid and Hannah, 378 00:17:37,057 --> 00:17:39,518 or because you wanna be with Sophie? 379 00:17:39,935 --> 00:17:41,395 What? 380 00:17:41,395 --> 00:17:43,480 The first one, obviously. 381 00:17:44,773 --> 00:17:47,276 I don't know who any of those people are. I'm outtie. 382 00:17:48,735 --> 00:17:50,946 - I'm gonna go, too, Charlie. - Look, please don't leave like this. 383 00:17:50,946 --> 00:17:54,241 Look, I-I swear you're not just part of some pattern. 384 00:17:54,824 --> 00:17:57,619 - Alright, this time, it really is diff-- - I don't believe you. 385 00:18:05,794 --> 00:18:06,795 What am I gonna do? 386 00:18:06,795 --> 00:18:09,840 I need to get into Drew's phone to delete Stacey's texts 387 00:18:09,840 --> 00:18:12,259 before he sees them and realizes I did something crazy! 388 00:18:12,259 --> 00:18:13,343 Whoa, whoa, whoa. 389 00:18:13,343 --> 00:18:15,095 - what just happened? - Hm. 390 00:18:15,095 --> 00:18:17,181 Why did the texts disappear? 391 00:18:17,181 --> 00:18:19,683 Yeah, Drew probably read them on his laptop. 392 00:18:22,936 --> 00:18:23,937 This is so unfair! 393 00:18:23,937 --> 00:18:25,689 He's the one who lied about being here, 394 00:18:25,689 --> 00:18:28,775 and now, I look like the psycho. 395 00:18:28,775 --> 00:18:30,319 Okay, Sophie... 396 00:18:30,903 --> 00:18:33,113 I don't know exactly what's going on with you and Drew, 397 00:18:33,113 --> 00:18:35,365 but you don't need to worry about Stacey. 398 00:18:35,365 --> 00:18:38,243 Stacey's just an ex. Everyone has an ex. 399 00:18:38,243 --> 00:18:39,661 Not me. 400 00:18:41,830 --> 00:18:44,541 I mean, I've dated a ton of guys, 401 00:18:45,292 --> 00:18:46,752 but I've never... 402 00:18:46,752 --> 00:18:49,254 actually been in a serious relationship. 403 00:18:50,005 --> 00:18:52,424 It always fizzles out before it gets to that point. 404 00:18:53,967 --> 00:18:55,719 Well, at least you don't steamroll your partner 405 00:18:55,719 --> 00:18:58,555 by making major life decisions without consulting her. 406 00:19:00,641 --> 00:19:03,977 Is that why you're out here, buying an apology Kit-Kat from the vending machine? 407 00:19:04,895 --> 00:19:05,896 Guilty. 408 00:19:06,980 --> 00:19:08,774 Yeah, apparently Hannah hasn't forgiven me 409 00:19:08,774 --> 00:19:12,069 for derailing our life plan by buying a bar without asking her. 410 00:19:16,573 --> 00:19:18,992 Why didn't you? Ask her? 411 00:19:20,285 --> 00:19:21,537 I don't know. 412 00:19:22,246 --> 00:19:25,374 I spent the first 27 years of my life trying to make my parents happy. 413 00:19:25,374 --> 00:19:27,334 Then I met Hannah, I wanted to make her happy, too. 414 00:19:27,334 --> 00:19:29,127 And with the bar, I just finally wanted to do something 415 00:19:29,127 --> 00:19:30,712 that would make me happy. 416 00:19:31,672 --> 00:19:34,216 And I knew if I didn't just, like, propel my body to that bank 417 00:19:34,216 --> 00:19:36,677 and apply for that loan, I'd end up chickening out. 418 00:19:36,677 --> 00:19:38,053 You know? 419 00:19:41,723 --> 00:19:44,601 Do you think if you had asked Hannah first, 420 00:19:44,601 --> 00:19:46,478 that she wouldn't have supported you? 421 00:19:46,478 --> 00:19:47,980 Ah, she would have. 422 00:19:49,606 --> 00:19:52,401 Definitely would have. Messed up. 423 00:19:54,027 --> 00:19:58,115 Hey, I know it's super scary to go all-in on a relationship. 424 00:19:58,782 --> 00:20:00,826 And, from what I know about your childhood, 425 00:20:00,826 --> 00:20:04,079 you probably feel like the rug could be ripped out from under you at any second. 426 00:20:05,539 --> 00:20:06,540 Yeah. 427 00:20:07,624 --> 00:20:08,876 I do. 428 00:20:10,294 --> 00:20:12,838 But, if it's the right person... 429 00:20:16,008 --> 00:20:17,509 things can work out. 430 00:20:19,678 --> 00:20:21,180 I promise. 431 00:20:23,891 --> 00:20:26,310 - Let's go talk to our people. - Mm-hmm. 432 00:20:28,645 --> 00:20:30,397 Hey! Hey, now! 433 00:20:30,397 --> 00:20:33,066 You're seriously gonna go back there without a peace offering Kit-Kat? 434 00:20:35,903 --> 00:20:37,905 You really haven't been in a relationship. 435 00:20:44,328 --> 00:20:45,579 Listen. 436 00:20:45,579 --> 00:20:48,040 I have known for a very long time 437 00:20:48,040 --> 00:20:50,918 that I've had to escape from my petty, stifling family. 438 00:20:50,918 --> 00:20:53,754 And, yes, I have often followed women across the world 439 00:20:53,754 --> 00:20:55,005 as a way of doing that. 440 00:20:56,340 --> 00:20:58,258 But it's never felt right. 441 00:20:59,051 --> 00:21:00,052 Until now. 442 00:21:01,220 --> 00:21:03,222 And I've figured out how I'm gonna prove it to you. 443 00:21:04,139 --> 00:21:05,974 What are you doing?! 444 00:21:05,974 --> 00:21:09,228 I'm proving to you that you are not just part of some pattern. 445 00:21:10,145 --> 00:21:11,897 I'm not going anywhere, Valentina. 446 00:21:11,897 --> 00:21:14,066 Oh my god, this is really hot! 447 00:21:17,444 --> 00:21:19,279 What the hell is your passport made out of?! 448 00:21:19,279 --> 00:21:21,657 I soaked it in lighter fluid on the way over. 449 00:21:21,657 --> 00:21:23,283 I was going for high drama! 450 00:21:29,039 --> 00:21:30,290 That was... sweet. 451 00:21:32,459 --> 00:21:34,127 Look, just so you know, 452 00:21:34,127 --> 00:21:37,005 I wouldn't usually spiral in such a lame basic way 453 00:21:37,005 --> 00:21:39,424 about you having exes. There were... 454 00:21:39,424 --> 00:21:41,635 extenuating circumstances. 455 00:21:43,470 --> 00:21:44,763 What were they? 456 00:21:48,934 --> 00:21:50,435 I... 457 00:21:52,771 --> 00:21:54,773 ...love you. 458 00:21:58,777 --> 00:21:59,820 I love you, too. 459 00:22:13,834 --> 00:22:15,377 From now on, 460 00:22:15,377 --> 00:22:17,754 I want you to be a part of every big life decision I make 461 00:22:17,754 --> 00:22:20,215 until we die together at 98. 462 00:22:20,215 --> 00:22:21,717 Mid-penetrayshe. 463 00:22:23,260 --> 00:22:24,261 Thank you. 464 00:22:25,679 --> 00:22:28,307 But you know, I don't wanna die mid-penetrayshe. 465 00:22:29,391 --> 00:22:32,728 I want us to die drinking Cadillac margaritas 466 00:22:32,728 --> 00:22:36,648 on safari because our IRAs are so well-funded. 467 00:22:39,526 --> 00:22:41,278 Well, 468 00:22:41,278 --> 00:22:43,280 both of those things can be true. 469 00:22:44,323 --> 00:22:47,034 Man, we are gonna ruin so many people's safari. 470 00:22:57,419 --> 00:22:58,462 I'm sorry. 471 00:23:00,589 --> 00:23:02,090 Me first. 472 00:23:04,426 --> 00:23:06,345 I'm sorry I stole your phone 473 00:23:07,888 --> 00:23:09,973 and called your ex a bitch. 474 00:23:10,974 --> 00:23:13,143 And I'm sorry for lying to you about having been here. 475 00:23:14,228 --> 00:23:16,438 I just didn't want to explain how I got into, like, 476 00:23:16,438 --> 00:23:19,775 a huge blowout fight with Stacey at the same place 477 00:23:19,775 --> 00:23:21,735 we're having a romantic weekend. 478 00:23:22,486 --> 00:23:24,488 According to the Gram, 479 00:23:24,488 --> 00:23:26,323 and the guest book, 480 00:23:26,323 --> 00:23:28,575 you guys had the best night of your lives. 481 00:23:28,575 --> 00:23:31,787 You even did that thing where you touch index fingers with your thumb, 482 00:23:31,787 --> 00:23:33,497 so you can make a heart. 483 00:23:34,081 --> 00:23:37,376 That's hard to do. My god, do I have early-onset arthritis? 484 00:23:39,586 --> 00:23:41,088 Can I show you something? 485 00:23:45,801 --> 00:23:47,594 Zoom in on her sunglasses. 486 00:23:55,644 --> 00:23:58,480 Yeah, we got into a huge fight at dinner 487 00:23:58,480 --> 00:24:00,440 about how 90% of our relationship 488 00:24:00,440 --> 00:24:02,484 was spent posing for photos. 489 00:24:02,985 --> 00:24:04,528 It was the worst trip ever, 490 00:24:04,528 --> 00:24:06,864 and I went to Fyre Festival. 491 00:24:06,864 --> 00:24:08,282 Stupid Ja Rule. 492 00:24:13,120 --> 00:24:15,914 Well, I know how we can turn this place 493 00:24:15,914 --> 00:24:18,333 from a bad memory into a good one. 494 00:24:18,333 --> 00:24:21,795 I never felt this way 495 00:24:22,421 --> 00:24:25,424 So in love, whoa... 496 00:24:25,883 --> 00:24:28,468 And right there, in that hotel room, he-- 497 00:24:28,468 --> 00:24:29,845 - Mom! - What? 498 00:24:29,845 --> 00:24:33,265 Can you please not graphically describe your sex life to me? 499 00:24:33,265 --> 00:24:34,474 Prude! 500 00:24:34,474 --> 00:24:36,351 So in love 501 00:24:36,351 --> 00:24:38,896 Whoa 502 00:24:38,896 --> 00:24:40,939 So in love 503 00:24:40,939 --> 00:24:44,484 Whoa 504 00:24:44,484 --> 00:24:47,736 One heart, let it beat 505 00:24:47,736 --> 00:24:48,864 Ripped and corrected by - YoungJedi - 506 00:24:48,864 --> 00:24:50,949 One voice 507 00:24:50,949 --> 00:24:53,410 Mm, let it sing 508 00:24:53,410 --> 00:24:54,661 Whoa 509 00:24:55,537 --> 00:24:57,539 Whoa 510 00:24:57,956 --> 00:24:59,041 Whoa 511 00:24:59,833 --> 00:25:01,627 Whoa 512 00:25:02,252 --> 00:25:05,506 Do it for one... 37465

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