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- Synced and corrected by Firefly -
- www.addic7ed.com -
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Previously on Wynonna Earp...
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I'm so happy you finally
brought her here to meet me.
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- You seem nice.
- The Clantons are in Purgatory.
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An eye for an eye.
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- Doc, I think they killed Billy.
- _
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I've been marked!
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00:00:10,837 --> 00:00:13,102
- I'm tired of this fight.
- People can change.
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Come to Mama.
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00:00:15,306 --> 00:00:16,703
Hey, sexy.
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00:00:16,708 --> 00:00:18,605
My ancestors will devour her.
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(SCREAMING)
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(GUNSHOT)
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I guess you and that
gun deserve each other.
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00:00:25,016 --> 00:00:26,946
Nicole Haught, will you marry me?
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Yes, I will marry you.
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(LIGHT COUNTRY MUSIC)
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_
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(TRAIN HORN BLARING)
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♪ I'm free as the breeze ♪
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♪ And I do as I please ♪
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♪ And I do what I want to do ♪
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♪ I go where I want ♪
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(DEMETRI): Get a room!
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I mean it, like, legit,
they're three feet from you
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00:00:58,146 --> 00:00:59,846
and cost less than a dental dam.
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(WYNONNA SINGING)
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00:01:02,954 --> 00:01:05,856
(CREATURE GOBBLING)
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Time's up, beast.
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(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC)
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(BOTH): Holy shit.
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- I see you found your gun.
- And my mojo.
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Make your peace, Amon.
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(THEME MUSIC)
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♪ 'Cause I gave you all I got to give ♪
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♪ I know that ain't no way to live ♪
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♪ I told that devil to take you back ♪
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♪ I told that devil to take you back ♪
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To the happily engaged couple!
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(BOTTLE POPPING, CHEERING)
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(LAUGHING) Again!
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00:01:53,771 --> 00:01:55,935
Hey! It took me weeks
to find that couch.
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To Nicole and Waverly.
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00:01:58,076 --> 00:02:00,310
May you grow old on one pillow.
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00:02:01,079 --> 00:02:02,175
Cheers.
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00:02:02,180 --> 00:02:03,943
Don't squander the eloquence now.
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The real engagement party's tomorrow.
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Alas, I must send my regrets.
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- What?
- You're not coming?
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But here is another toast.
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To all the kisses we have snatched,
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00:02:15,343 --> 00:02:17,541
and vice versa.
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- Oh, my God.
- (DOC CLEARING THROAT)
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Beg pardon. Sometimes in a bar,
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a gentleman forgets himself.
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- I'd like to forget that.
- Hmm.
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You know what helps? Mindless labour.
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Why don't we get more ice?
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It's been over a month,
you have to come.
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00:02:32,160 --> 00:02:35,024
This thing with Wynonna,
it's just another blip.
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Yeah, well not to me, it's not.
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Really making a go of this, huh?
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Uh, well I don't have much choice.
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Turns out Chrissy invested
my entire pension
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into this old gal.
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00:02:45,607 --> 00:02:47,108
Okay, but you have
to get some real staff
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00:02:47,112 --> 00:02:49,342
- to help you out, alright?
- Hey, where's Wynonna?
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00:02:49,347 --> 00:02:50,447
I really need you two
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00:02:50,452 --> 00:02:52,375
to take care of this basement business.
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00:02:52,380 --> 00:02:53,910
Imagine that people found out
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I've got a teenage killer
Reaper down there?
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They're mad enough I took
potato skins off the menu.
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Did you tell that little
glow stick of yours
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00:03:01,823 --> 00:03:03,823
that you wouldn't have
found it if I hadn't helped?
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It says that, uh...
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a monster who knows all
the goss is still a monster.
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00:03:10,899 --> 00:03:12,862
Well, this monster isn't hurting anyone.
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00:03:12,867 --> 00:03:14,631
I'll bet you Bambi's
got a different take.
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Bambi's food.
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And unless you faint
at the sight of sausages
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or that jacket of yours is
made of rare zucchini leather,
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- you can't judge me.
- Except, I've never donned a...
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What is that? A lobster
bib for leather queens?
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If I don't wear it,
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my dry-cleaning bills are a bitch.
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(UNSETTLING MUSIC)
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It's just good to remember...
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that I can kill you.
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Any time I want.
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(AMON CHUCKLES)
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Who told you my kink?
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(EERIE MUSIC)
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(CHUCKLING)
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(BIRDS CHIRPING)
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Mmm...
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We back, honey.
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Back in Valdosta, my uncle Thomas,
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he taught me to woodwork.
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00:04:18,102 --> 00:04:20,697
Should you wish to be
married beneath an arbour,
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it would be my honour to build you one.
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- As a gift.
- Doc!
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00:04:24,973 --> 00:04:27,503
- (DOOR OPENING)
- You're going to make me cry.
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00:04:27,508 --> 00:04:30,844
Well, slap my ass and
call me the sister-in-law!
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Except you. You're not
allowed to participate
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in the slapping of ass.
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Congratulations... again.
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You didn't warn me you were partying
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with The Lame Ranger.
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Where have you been?
We called hours ago.
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Been a little busy.
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00:04:52,400 --> 00:04:55,531
Oh yeah? Too busy to celebrate
your sister's engagement?
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No!
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I was busy...
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making plans to celebrate.
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Intricate, planny... plans.
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- Really?
- Yeah.
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Oh yeah? What kind?
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The bachelorette.
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Girls' night out!
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(HEAVY CLUB MUSIC)
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(WOMEN CHEERING)
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This isn't a girls' night out,
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this is ladies' night.
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I didn't know it would
be male strippers.
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Oh yeah? Didn't come up
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00:05:33,942 --> 00:05:35,909
when you were making your planny-plans?
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Hey! Giuseppe!
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00:05:40,448 --> 00:05:42,545
- This bride needs a delivery!
- No. Stop.
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- Stop!
- Come bring the soppressata!
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(WOMEN CHEERING)
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Another bride!
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Uh, no, I'm not a bride.
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But I am her fiancée!
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Cute!
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00:05:53,895 --> 00:05:56,993
Love the lob, girl.
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00:05:56,998 --> 00:05:58,561
- Shots?
- Oh...
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00:05:58,566 --> 00:06:01,264
My bridal party bailed
to go to Bible study.
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00:06:01,269 --> 00:06:03,933
- (CHUCKLING)
- Well, it is noon on a Sunday.
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00:06:03,938 --> 00:06:06,903
(WOMEN CHEERING)
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Okay. Oh!
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(WAVERLY SIGHS)
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00:06:13,147 --> 00:06:14,711
Yep!
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00:06:14,716 --> 00:06:17,617
Definitely time to get that
hot ginger off the market.
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00:06:18,553 --> 00:06:20,850
As if you have anything to worry about.
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00:06:20,855 --> 00:06:22,585
Everybody loves Waverly Earp.
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00:06:22,590 --> 00:06:24,391
Nobody's gonna steal your sunshine.
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00:06:25,860 --> 00:06:29,125
Yeah, well, Nicole wants
to do it ASAP anyway.
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00:06:29,130 --> 00:06:31,361
Maybe just at City Hall.
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00:06:31,366 --> 00:06:35,965
But how will the sparrows
weave your gown that quickly?
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00:06:35,970 --> 00:06:37,700
It's her second.
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00:06:37,705 --> 00:06:40,474
She wasn't even a fancy
wedding person the first time.
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Yeah, but you've had bridal scrapbooks
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00:06:44,645 --> 00:06:46,109
since you were ten.
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00:06:46,114 --> 00:06:48,548
Just tell her what you want, baby girl.
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You deserve it.
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(MAN OVER SPEAKER): Tie
down those saddlebags,
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the West is getting wild!
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Welcome... Demetri!
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00:06:58,726 --> 00:07:00,293
(COUNTRY MUSIC, WOMEN CHEERING)
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Oh baby, you should smile
more! You'd be prettier!
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00:07:07,068 --> 00:07:09,799
Reverse sexism is still sexism, Wynonna.
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00:07:09,804 --> 00:07:11,267
Fine.
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00:07:11,272 --> 00:07:13,136
Show us your big...
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personality!
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(MAGICAL SPARKLING)
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I know him.
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(BELL DINGING)
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00:07:22,717 --> 00:07:24,317
One bourbon, on the rocks.
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00:07:26,087 --> 00:07:27,854
You get juice.
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00:07:30,792 --> 00:07:32,622
Kid your age should be in school.
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00:07:32,627 --> 00:07:33,790
(CHUCKLING) Pass.
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I have nightmares about school.
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I end up naked in front of an assembly,
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forgetting the words
to the national anthem.
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00:07:38,933 --> 00:07:40,963
Hmm.
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00:07:40,968 --> 00:07:43,403
There'd be other kids
your age to hang out with.
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00:07:44,472 --> 00:07:47,737
Yeah, last time I tried that,
didn't turn out so well.
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00:07:47,742 --> 00:07:49,439
Billy Clanton.
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00:07:49,444 --> 00:07:51,808
I didn't know he was a Clanton.
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00:07:51,813 --> 00:07:54,444
I don't blame people
for doing what they do
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00:07:54,449 --> 00:07:55,945
when they don't know what that is.
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00:07:55,950 --> 00:07:57,613
Like when you were a barnacle beast
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and totally ate Nicole's cat?
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Sorry. I... I get weird
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00:08:02,821 --> 00:08:05,021
when I spend too much
time at the homestead.
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00:08:05,026 --> 00:08:06,359
Alone.
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00:08:08,296 --> 00:08:09,959
Well...
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00:08:09,964 --> 00:08:11,698
I need a bar-back.
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00:08:12,600 --> 00:08:14,200
You clean up, you follow my rules,
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00:08:14,205 --> 00:08:17,100
you don't drink the booze,
you never go in the basement,
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00:08:17,105 --> 00:08:18,968
and you never, ever...
192
00:08:18,973 --> 00:08:21,037
mention the cat again.
193
00:08:21,042 --> 00:08:23,043
I swear on the bones of Calamity Jane.
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00:08:23,978 --> 00:08:25,145
That was the last time.
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00:08:26,380 --> 00:08:27,547
Okay.
196
00:08:28,449 --> 00:08:30,250
Well, Rachel...
197
00:08:31,853 --> 00:08:33,549
welcome to Team Shorty's.
198
00:08:33,554 --> 00:08:35,318
- Yay!
- (LAUGHING)
199
00:08:35,323 --> 00:08:37,386
(CLUB MUSIC)
200
00:08:37,391 --> 00:08:39,088
(WOMEN CHEERING)
201
00:08:39,093 --> 00:08:41,157
Butterball, Horn Dog,
202
00:08:41,162 --> 00:08:43,392
- Blowjob!
- Oh!
203
00:08:43,397 --> 00:08:45,394
What is Friday night at my ex's?
204
00:08:45,399 --> 00:08:47,930
Ding! You win a shot!
205
00:08:47,935 --> 00:08:49,665
- Aye.
- Aye, aye, aye.
206
00:08:49,670 --> 00:08:52,001
(BACKGROUND CHATTER)
207
00:08:52,006 --> 00:08:54,370
You know, I would take it
over another night with my ex.
208
00:08:54,375 --> 00:08:55,838
Oh, yeah.
209
00:08:55,843 --> 00:08:57,410
Smug moustache...
210
00:08:58,579 --> 00:09:01,110
- Lectures on my morality...
- (LAUGHING)
211
00:09:01,115 --> 00:09:06,315
Grabbing me like I'm a
mustang he's gonna break.
212
00:09:06,320 --> 00:09:09,352
Only that lightning-fast
hands down my pants
213
00:09:09,357 --> 00:09:11,254
before I can even wish he...
214
00:09:11,259 --> 00:09:12,688
Ugh!
215
00:09:12,693 --> 00:09:14,323
I'd tell you to move on to women,
216
00:09:14,328 --> 00:09:16,225
but they're just as bad.
217
00:09:16,230 --> 00:09:18,161
Love is like the Tooth Fairy.
218
00:09:18,166 --> 00:09:19,796
Never pays as well as you think?
219
00:09:19,801 --> 00:09:21,501
It don't exist!
220
00:09:23,037 --> 00:09:25,401
And I know! I've tried it all.
221
00:09:25,406 --> 00:09:26,640
I'm pan.
222
00:09:28,042 --> 00:09:30,039
Pan I buy you another drink?
223
00:09:30,044 --> 00:09:31,545
Uh...
224
00:09:33,581 --> 00:09:36,445
Drinks, pink, purple,
blue, what you got?
225
00:09:36,450 --> 00:09:38,318
No love is real.
226
00:09:39,223 --> 00:09:41,023
- (WAVERLY SCOFFS)
- I know that for a fact,
227
00:09:41,028 --> 00:09:44,063
because I am a love professional.
228
00:09:46,794 --> 00:09:49,959
Love might be the
only thing that's real.
229
00:09:49,964 --> 00:09:52,094
Nicole died for me.
230
00:09:52,099 --> 00:09:54,730
And I would kill for her.
231
00:09:54,735 --> 00:09:57,633
And if you can't feel that much,
232
00:09:57,638 --> 00:09:59,735
then I'm sorry for you.
233
00:09:59,740 --> 00:10:01,508
Truly.
234
00:10:05,213 --> 00:10:06,776
You wanna bet on it?
235
00:10:06,781 --> 00:10:08,411
What, that love is real?
236
00:10:08,416 --> 00:10:12,481
I don't know how we could
prove who won, but...
237
00:10:12,486 --> 00:10:13,916
sure.
238
00:10:13,921 --> 00:10:15,155
(CHUCKLING)
239
00:10:16,157 --> 00:10:19,292
Tell your sister she
is a delightful lunatic.
240
00:10:20,895 --> 00:10:24,627
And godspeed spreading
all that totally real love
241
00:10:24,632 --> 00:10:26,829
- through the world.
- (MAGICAL SPARKLING)
242
00:10:26,834 --> 00:10:28,668
And good luck with your strippering.
243
00:10:29,937 --> 00:10:31,938
(CURIOUS MUSIC)
244
00:10:32,974 --> 00:10:34,975
(MAGICAL SPARKLING)
245
00:10:41,116 --> 00:10:43,851
Well, with Sheriff Holt
and his sister gone,
246
00:10:43,852 --> 00:10:45,452
there's no one here to man the store.
247
00:10:46,321 --> 00:10:48,652
Will there even be marriage
license applications?
248
00:10:48,657 --> 00:10:51,058
Usually, they're here.
249
00:10:52,594 --> 00:10:54,858
Mmm, baby.
250
00:10:54,863 --> 00:10:56,630
Hi. (GIGGLING)
251
00:10:57,532 --> 00:11:00,430
Hey, have you thought maybe...
252
00:11:00,435 --> 00:11:01,898
a suit?
253
00:11:01,903 --> 00:11:03,437
For the wedding?
254
00:11:04,939 --> 00:11:07,303
- What did I do?
- No, no, nothing.
255
00:11:07,308 --> 00:11:09,406
You did nothing. It's just...
256
00:11:09,411 --> 00:11:11,241
the public stuff.
257
00:11:11,246 --> 00:11:13,543
I just feel like what we have is...
258
00:11:13,548 --> 00:11:16,012
between us, you know, babe? It's ours.
259
00:11:16,017 --> 00:11:18,452
Nicole, there's nobody here.
260
00:11:19,387 --> 00:11:21,484
Yeah, no.
261
00:11:21,489 --> 00:11:23,653
Just me and the Lord.
262
00:11:23,658 --> 00:11:25,388
And that curling trophy.
263
00:11:25,393 --> 00:11:27,090
Bunny Loblaw?
264
00:11:27,095 --> 00:11:28,992
Ms. Haught.
265
00:11:28,997 --> 00:11:31,895
Good to see you still know
where the police station is.
266
00:11:31,900 --> 00:11:33,726
Well, I'm not your sheriff
anymore, Bunny.
267
00:11:33,731 --> 00:11:34,932
And we're here on personal business.
268
00:11:34,936 --> 00:11:36,566
Oh, let me guess.
269
00:11:36,571 --> 00:11:38,902
You want to institute Flannel Fridays,
270
00:11:38,907 --> 00:11:40,804
and oh, maybe a few more
271
00:11:40,809 --> 00:11:42,739
off-leash dog parks?
272
00:11:42,744 --> 00:11:44,774
Well, I'm a cat person.
273
00:11:44,779 --> 00:11:48,478
Oh, I remember that homicidal puss.
274
00:11:48,483 --> 00:11:51,047
Uh, is there someone else
we should be bothering
275
00:11:51,052 --> 00:11:54,384
- with this request?
- Hmm... Uh-uh!
276
00:11:54,389 --> 00:11:57,053
I am a one-woman volunteer city hall
277
00:11:57,058 --> 00:11:59,289
- in a town of scofflaws.
- (MAGICAL SPARKLING)
278
00:11:59,294 --> 00:12:02,559
- (WAVERLY): Scofflaws?
- (BUNNY): Scofflaws! Layabouts!
279
00:12:02,564 --> 00:12:04,498
(WHISPERING): Lesbians.
280
00:12:06,000 --> 00:12:08,135
(ETHEREAL MUSIC)
281
00:12:17,912 --> 00:12:22,378
My God, Waverly, you are so beautiful.
282
00:12:22,383 --> 00:12:25,248
Have you always been
this beautiful before?
283
00:12:25,253 --> 00:12:27,884
Uh... How long will it
take to get a license?
284
00:12:27,889 --> 00:12:30,086
God, like, you're hot!
285
00:12:30,091 --> 00:12:33,890
You are like the wildest
combination of sweet and hot.
286
00:12:33,895 --> 00:12:35,558
The Clayborns...
287
00:12:35,563 --> 00:12:36,926
Clantons.
288
00:12:36,931 --> 00:12:38,461
Well, they've disappeared.
289
00:12:38,466 --> 00:12:39,696
And without a magistrate,
290
00:12:39,701 --> 00:12:41,531
I cannot guarantee a quick turnaround.
291
00:12:41,536 --> 00:12:42,996
Oh, you're like honey mustard.
292
00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:45,230
- I wanna spread you all over a pretzel.
- Sorry.
293
00:12:45,235 --> 00:12:46,735
No, no, no!
294
00:12:46,740 --> 00:12:49,038
You do not do that in here!
295
00:12:49,043 --> 00:12:51,641
This is not a soccer locker room!
296
00:12:51,646 --> 00:12:53,843
Listen, you have to afford
us the same rights
297
00:12:53,848 --> 00:12:56,237
as any other couple. Look,
I do not want to fight,
298
00:12:56,242 --> 00:12:57,781
but I will if I have to.
299
00:12:57,786 --> 00:13:00,016
(QUIETLY): Stop.
300
00:13:00,021 --> 00:13:03,157
Fine. Oh, please.
301
00:13:05,960 --> 00:13:07,728
Thank you, Ms. Loblaw.
302
00:13:13,479 --> 00:13:16,110
You have got to go home.
I don't know what that was,
303
00:13:16,115 --> 00:13:17,845
but I do not need it on my next errand!
304
00:13:17,850 --> 00:13:19,448
What do you mean, I
can't come with you?!
305
00:13:19,452 --> 00:13:21,702
Take seven cold showers
and only think about
306
00:13:21,707 --> 00:13:23,541
- Band of Brothers.
- Ugh!
307
00:13:24,452 --> 00:13:25,614
Can I shut this for you?
308
00:13:25,619 --> 00:13:27,850
(MAGICAL SPARKLING)
309
00:13:27,855 --> 00:13:30,223
(ETHEREAL MUSIC)
310
00:13:35,293 --> 00:13:37,127
Anything you want.
311
00:13:38,399 --> 00:13:39,566
Oh...
312
00:13:42,319 --> 00:13:43,515
It's apple.
313
00:13:43,520 --> 00:13:46,285
Okay?
314
00:13:46,290 --> 00:13:50,289
In China, the word for apple is "ping",
315
00:13:50,294 --> 00:13:53,659
which is also a homonym for peace.
316
00:13:53,664 --> 00:13:54,927
Peace?
317
00:13:54,932 --> 00:13:57,362
Your sister is killing my business
318
00:13:57,367 --> 00:13:59,531
by killing my customers.
319
00:13:59,536 --> 00:14:02,238
And I will mention that to her.
320
00:14:03,273 --> 00:14:05,103
Anyway...
321
00:14:05,108 --> 00:14:08,144
I went to pick up a marriage
application today.
322
00:14:10,683 --> 00:14:14,516
Was little Cleo Clanton in the office?
323
00:14:14,521 --> 00:14:16,184
- The magistrate?
- Mm-hmm.
324
00:14:16,189 --> 00:14:17,652
Nope.
325
00:14:17,657 --> 00:14:20,688
Something big happened over
on their ranch awhile back.
326
00:14:20,693 --> 00:14:23,333
Margo Clanton is one bitch of a witch.
327
00:14:23,338 --> 00:14:27,208
Only something spectacular
could've taken her out.
328
00:14:30,178 --> 00:14:31,745
Why don't you cut to the chase?
329
00:14:33,181 --> 00:14:35,512
I want to choose a date,
330
00:14:35,517 --> 00:14:38,682
but my fiancée is nervous because of...
331
00:14:38,687 --> 00:14:40,884
well, all the...
332
00:14:40,889 --> 00:14:43,057
yous... around.
333
00:14:44,025 --> 00:14:47,057
If I could tell her there was a day
334
00:14:47,062 --> 00:14:50,260
that we'd been promised a truce,
335
00:14:50,265 --> 00:14:52,262
that would help a ton.
336
00:14:52,267 --> 00:14:55,565
Just one day of...
337
00:14:55,570 --> 00:14:57,071
ping!
338
00:14:58,473 --> 00:15:00,570
That was weird.
339
00:15:00,575 --> 00:15:02,072
(SIGHING)
340
00:15:02,077 --> 00:15:03,510
(MAGICAL SPARKLING)
341
00:15:05,080 --> 00:15:07,948
(ETHEREAL MUSIC)
342
00:15:14,723 --> 00:15:16,219
Waverly Earp...
343
00:15:16,224 --> 00:15:21,124
I will fight for you to have
peace for all your days.
344
00:15:21,129 --> 00:15:23,927
Just the one will be peachy.
345
00:15:23,932 --> 00:15:25,595
Thanks.
346
00:15:25,600 --> 00:15:26,901
Ah...
347
00:15:28,436 --> 00:15:31,105
What did happen with
you and Mam Clanton?
348
00:15:32,440 --> 00:15:34,508
(SOFT EERIE MUSIC)
349
00:15:35,810 --> 00:15:37,278
I don't remember.
350
00:15:38,880 --> 00:15:41,411
I only touched her.
351
00:15:41,416 --> 00:15:42,850
Could that have killed her?
352
00:15:44,419 --> 00:15:46,020
You are powerful.
353
00:15:47,022 --> 00:15:49,857
But all I want is to be happy.
354
00:15:50,659 --> 00:15:52,822
I'm engaged.
355
00:15:52,827 --> 00:15:55,025
I'm in love.
356
00:15:55,030 --> 00:15:58,028
I want that for everyone.
357
00:15:58,033 --> 00:16:00,134
Including you.
358
00:16:02,137 --> 00:16:04,038
I know, little lamb.
359
00:16:06,808 --> 00:16:09,306
But we need to know what
happened to Holt's sister.
360
00:16:09,311 --> 00:16:11,041
Maybe Cleo's happy too.
361
00:16:11,046 --> 00:16:12,342
(SINISTER MUSIC)
362
00:16:12,347 --> 00:16:14,348
Maybe somebody should find out.
363
00:16:15,817 --> 00:16:17,013
(GASPING)
364
00:16:17,018 --> 00:16:19,783
Oh, I missed you! What took you so long?
365
00:16:19,788 --> 00:16:22,652
What was that, at the police station?
366
00:16:22,657 --> 00:16:25,522
I... love you...
367
00:16:25,527 --> 00:16:28,421
so much. It's like
I'm full of love lava,
368
00:16:28,426 --> 00:16:31,161
and it wants to burst out of my skin.
369
00:16:31,166 --> 00:16:32,829
I'm Mount Haught.
370
00:16:32,834 --> 00:16:34,597
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
371
00:16:34,602 --> 00:16:37,430
Okay, you were extra standoffish
372
00:16:37,435 --> 00:16:38,635
until Bunny appeared.
373
00:16:38,640 --> 00:16:41,204
And then, you turned
into a horny octopus!
374
00:16:41,209 --> 00:16:42,806
Baby, I'm gonna die if you're angry.
375
00:16:42,810 --> 00:16:44,374
Hey!
376
00:16:44,379 --> 00:16:46,276
Look!
377
00:16:46,281 --> 00:16:47,681
Hey! (CHUCKLING)
378
00:16:48,496 --> 00:16:49,993
Are you possessed again?
379
00:16:50,018 --> 00:16:51,285
What?
380
00:16:52,654 --> 00:16:55,418
Ow! No!
381
00:16:55,423 --> 00:16:58,021
Baby, it's just that...
382
00:16:58,026 --> 00:16:59,422
It's your wedding.
383
00:16:59,427 --> 00:17:02,959
It should have everything that you want.
384
00:17:02,964 --> 00:17:04,494
You want costume changes!
385
00:17:04,499 --> 00:17:06,863
Or, oh! Sky writing!
386
00:17:06,868 --> 00:17:08,402
Are you making fun of me?
387
00:17:09,504 --> 00:17:11,501
- We should release doves.
- (CAR HONKING)
388
00:17:11,506 --> 00:17:13,403
Or butterflies.
389
00:17:13,408 --> 00:17:16,272
And we need to nail down a
wedding hashtag, like, stat!
390
00:17:16,277 --> 00:17:18,441
Someone's here. I should...
391
00:17:18,446 --> 00:17:21,144
No, but... Hey, hey! What about WaveNic?
392
00:17:21,149 --> 00:17:22,913
Or Heatwave?
393
00:17:22,938 --> 00:17:25,039
(GASPING) Wayhaught!
394
00:17:26,087 --> 00:17:28,018
No, that's ridiculous.
395
00:17:28,023 --> 00:17:30,987
You cannot marry Nicole Haught!
396
00:17:30,992 --> 00:17:32,489
Okay, that's enough.
397
00:17:32,494 --> 00:17:34,491
Get your homophobia off my homestead.
398
00:17:34,496 --> 00:17:37,927
I know I am an inexperienced gay.
399
00:17:37,932 --> 00:17:40,367
In fact, I haven't
really gayed at all...
400
00:17:41,916 --> 00:17:45,982
But I raided every single craft store,
401
00:17:46,007 --> 00:17:49,072
and I got you these...
402
00:17:49,077 --> 00:17:50,407
faux-ses.
403
00:17:50,412 --> 00:17:53,443
Because, Waverly Earp,
404
00:17:53,448 --> 00:17:55,315
I love you.
405
00:17:56,151 --> 00:17:57,947
(STAMMERING) Nope!
406
00:17:57,952 --> 00:18:00,216
Nope. A whole bunch of nopes.
407
00:18:00,221 --> 00:18:02,216
- Oh, oh, oh!
- Okay? I'll call you.
408
00:18:02,220 --> 00:18:03,920
But you don't even have my number.
409
00:18:03,925 --> 00:18:06,156
- I definitely do.
- No, no, no, you don't!
410
00:18:06,161 --> 00:18:08,591
- Yeah, thanks for coming by!
- You look so pretty.
411
00:18:08,596 --> 00:18:11,257
You know, I have an old copy
of Bend It Like Beckham.
412
00:18:11,262 --> 00:18:12,462
We can watch it together!
413
00:18:12,467 --> 00:18:14,601
(LIGHT MUSIC)
414
00:18:20,809 --> 00:18:22,443
I want you to have these.
415
00:18:30,051 --> 00:18:31,815
Bunny Loblaw's hot for you?
416
00:18:31,820 --> 00:18:34,922
It's gotta be a... prank?
417
00:18:36,458 --> 00:18:39,556
Girl. You can get it.
418
00:18:39,561 --> 00:18:42,492
Nobody wants that it,
but you can get it.
419
00:18:42,497 --> 00:18:46,100
How, why am I suddenly
everybody's thing?
420
00:18:47,268 --> 00:18:49,503
Because it's a day that ends in Y?
421
00:18:51,162 --> 00:18:54,164
Or I made one hell of a bad bet.
422
00:18:57,809 --> 00:18:59,809
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
423
00:19:01,041 --> 00:19:03,109
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
424
00:19:06,651 --> 00:19:09,219
(SNIFFING, GROANING)
425
00:19:10,281 --> 00:19:13,380
Loblaw's into your flaming ladybug.
426
00:19:13,384 --> 00:19:15,918
- Stop.
- (WYNONNA GIGGLING)
427
00:19:16,900 --> 00:19:20,099
Ooh! That stone-cold battle-axe
428
00:19:20,124 --> 00:19:22,388
wants you to pat the Bunny!
429
00:19:22,393 --> 00:19:23,922
It's not funny.
430
00:19:23,927 --> 00:19:26,659
What if there's something
seriously wrong with her?
431
00:19:26,664 --> 00:19:29,261
Baby girl, what's wrong with Bunbun...
432
00:19:29,266 --> 00:19:32,097
is she's a homophobic
hoe, and you fixed it
433
00:19:32,102 --> 00:19:34,637
- with your magical coochie!
- Stop!
434
00:19:37,374 --> 00:19:40,105
Honestly, I am in awe!
435
00:19:40,110 --> 00:19:42,574
Maybe it's that thing
where somebody gets taken
436
00:19:42,579 --> 00:19:45,177
off the market, and is
suddenly more appealing.
437
00:19:45,182 --> 00:19:47,413
Still doesn't explain how
Bunny's suddenly moved
438
00:19:47,418 --> 00:19:48,881
to Sapphic City.
439
00:19:48,886 --> 00:19:52,418
And today has had an extra
serving of whackadoo.
440
00:19:52,423 --> 00:19:53,752
No, first...
441
00:19:53,757 --> 00:19:56,989
Nicole was all over me
with triple X PDA.
442
00:19:56,994 --> 00:19:59,625
And then, I went to talk to that Amon?
443
00:19:59,630 --> 00:20:01,421
He acted like we were on a fantasy
444
00:20:01,426 --> 00:20:04,129
overnight episode of The Bachelorette.
445
00:20:04,134 --> 00:20:06,165
(GROANING) There it is!
446
00:20:06,170 --> 00:20:07,399
- (SIGHING)
- What?
447
00:20:07,404 --> 00:20:08,767
It's always a demon.
448
00:20:08,772 --> 00:20:11,270
Oh, no, no, it can't be.
449
00:20:11,275 --> 00:20:13,176
I saw Bunny first.
450
00:20:15,279 --> 00:20:18,110
I'll take care of him. You stay here.
451
00:20:18,115 --> 00:20:20,145
No, I'm coming.
452
00:20:20,150 --> 00:20:21,780
I have another theory.
453
00:20:21,785 --> 00:20:24,153
(INSECTS CHIRPING)
454
00:20:25,656 --> 00:20:28,220
(SOFT EERIE MUSIC)
455
00:20:28,225 --> 00:20:30,756
(FLIES BUZZING)
456
00:20:30,761 --> 00:20:33,262
(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC)
457
00:20:34,998 --> 00:20:36,866
Lord Almighty.
458
00:20:38,669 --> 00:20:41,166
(DISTANT SCUFFLING)
459
00:20:41,171 --> 00:20:42,672
Who is here?
460
00:20:43,841 --> 00:20:47,272
I will give you until the count of five.
461
00:20:47,277 --> 00:20:48,774
One...
462
00:20:48,779 --> 00:20:50,676
(FLY BUZZING CONTINUES)
463
00:20:50,681 --> 00:20:52,177
Two...
464
00:20:52,182 --> 00:20:54,313
(GUN CLICKING)
465
00:20:54,318 --> 00:20:56,052
(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC)
466
00:20:59,323 --> 00:21:01,023
Five.
467
00:21:02,159 --> 00:21:03,856
You here to kill me?
468
00:21:03,861 --> 00:21:05,661
(SOFT MUSIC)
469
00:21:06,663 --> 00:21:08,998
I promised your brother I would not.
470
00:21:10,734 --> 00:21:12,898
But I want you to.
471
00:21:12,903 --> 00:21:14,566
Please.
472
00:21:14,571 --> 00:21:17,503
Just make the whole thing end.
473
00:21:17,508 --> 00:21:19,571
(CRYING)
474
00:21:19,576 --> 00:21:21,707
We must tend to whatever's
left of your mother.
475
00:21:21,712 --> 00:21:23,479
I can't!
476
00:21:24,515 --> 00:21:27,513
I need her to tell me what to do next!
477
00:21:27,518 --> 00:21:29,748
You need to snap out
of whatever this is.
478
00:21:29,753 --> 00:21:31,053
(MAGICAL SPARKLING)
479
00:21:40,397 --> 00:21:42,665
(ETHEREAL MUSIC)
480
00:21:48,144 --> 00:21:50,542
Are you fixing to flood
the whole damn county
481
00:21:50,547 --> 00:21:51,904
with them tears, love?
482
00:21:51,909 --> 00:21:54,873
Seeing a girl cry will
break any man's heart.
483
00:21:54,878 --> 00:21:57,832
But when that girl is brave,
484
00:21:57,837 --> 00:22:00,167
tenacious, and fierce?
485
00:22:00,172 --> 00:22:02,470
Well...
486
00:22:02,475 --> 00:22:05,043
You're nearly tearing
this outlaw's heart in two.
487
00:22:06,011 --> 00:22:07,979
(CHUCKLING)
488
00:22:08,975 --> 00:22:10,475
Well, fuck me, that was hot.
489
00:22:11,398 --> 00:22:13,128
Hey elk dicker!
490
00:22:13,133 --> 00:22:15,134
Get your animal eating ass out here.
491
00:22:16,455 --> 00:22:19,620
In future, you could start with hello.
492
00:22:19,625 --> 00:22:21,288
Hello.
493
00:22:21,293 --> 00:22:22,790
Fawn fucker.
494
00:22:22,795 --> 00:22:24,392
I'm not a zoophile.
495
00:22:24,397 --> 00:22:26,994
Beware koalas, I hear
they all have chlamydia.
496
00:22:26,999 --> 00:22:29,200
(MAGICAL SPARKLING)
497
00:22:32,671 --> 00:22:35,507
(ETHEREAL MUSIC)
498
00:22:40,212 --> 00:22:42,476
(MUSIC DRONING OUT)
499
00:22:42,481 --> 00:22:44,812
That word too big for you?
500
00:22:44,817 --> 00:22:46,447
I don't sleep with animals.
501
00:22:46,452 --> 00:22:51,389
Would you consider a slightly
oversexed gunslinger?
502
00:22:52,158 --> 00:22:55,322
I give great... (INHALING)
503
00:22:55,327 --> 00:22:57,224
...everything.
504
00:22:57,229 --> 00:22:58,897
(KNOCKING)
505
00:23:00,032 --> 00:23:02,196
Don't look! You'll fall for me!
506
00:23:02,201 --> 00:23:05,069
Someone's been reading her
daily affirmation cards.
507
00:23:05,838 --> 00:23:07,372
It's for your own protection.
508
00:23:08,441 --> 00:23:10,337
I can't fall in love.
509
00:23:10,342 --> 00:23:12,210
Because you don't believe in it?
510
00:23:14,680 --> 00:23:17,782
Because I am immune to the spell.
511
00:23:18,651 --> 00:23:20,614
(GASPING) I knew you did it!
512
00:23:20,619 --> 00:23:21,749
Mmm, ooh!
513
00:23:21,754 --> 00:23:24,552
Demetri, I never actually
bet you anything.
514
00:23:24,557 --> 00:23:26,787
Stop making everyone gaga over me!
515
00:23:26,792 --> 00:23:29,523
Well, they shouldn't be falling for you.
516
00:23:29,528 --> 00:23:31,592
Not if you're doing it right.
517
00:23:31,597 --> 00:23:33,394
Wait...
518
00:23:33,399 --> 00:23:34,728
I'm doing it?
519
00:23:34,733 --> 00:23:38,532
You said you were a love professional.
520
00:23:38,537 --> 00:23:41,235
At first I thought that
was some new woke term
521
00:23:41,240 --> 00:23:44,275
for strippers, but then, I realized.
522
00:23:45,174 --> 00:23:46,574
How did you do this to me?
523
00:23:46,579 --> 00:23:48,776
Ugh, honestly, girl,
524
00:23:48,781 --> 00:23:51,916
don't you ever do your laundry?
Check your pockets.
525
00:23:54,687 --> 00:23:57,585
As far as spells go, it's stupid easy.
526
00:23:57,590 --> 00:23:59,985
Decide who you think
should fall in love,
527
00:23:59,990 --> 00:24:03,290
and then, flick a little of
your secret sauce on 'em.
528
00:24:03,295 --> 00:24:05,595
Ew. Don't say secret sauce.
529
00:24:05,600 --> 00:24:07,895
Only tricky part is...
530
00:24:07,900 --> 00:24:10,264
make sure the flickee sees the target
531
00:24:10,269 --> 00:24:13,171
you want them to fall for immediately.
532
00:24:14,048 --> 00:24:17,250
Because they're all in on
the first person they see.
533
00:24:18,677 --> 00:24:20,311
All in?
534
00:24:21,113 --> 00:24:22,409
(DOOR CLOSING)
535
00:24:22,414 --> 00:24:25,049
I will not sleep with you.
536
00:24:26,309 --> 00:24:29,244
Why?! Because I'm the Earp heir?
537
00:24:30,189 --> 00:24:31,556
Come here!
538
00:24:32,491 --> 00:24:34,421
Because I love Waverly!
539
00:24:34,426 --> 00:24:35,823
(TECHNO MUSIC PLAYING)
540
00:24:35,828 --> 00:24:37,591
(STAMMERING): What?
541
00:24:37,596 --> 00:24:39,593
She's just, she's so pure,
542
00:24:39,598 --> 00:24:41,262
and she's so genuine.
543
00:24:41,267 --> 00:24:43,731
She's so much cuter than
the cutest of buttons.
544
00:24:43,736 --> 00:24:45,532
Since when is that your thing?
545
00:24:45,537 --> 00:24:48,368
Right? I mean, Doc is usually
at the top of my lust chart.
546
00:24:48,373 --> 00:24:50,934
I mean, the man is a
universal arousal architect.
547
00:24:50,939 --> 00:24:52,339
No, I am! I am!
548
00:24:52,344 --> 00:24:55,509
But the heart is a demanding master.
549
00:24:55,514 --> 00:24:58,445
And mine only wants your sister.
550
00:24:58,450 --> 00:25:00,114
My engagement party is tonight.
551
00:25:00,119 --> 00:25:03,317
I can't do this job. I don't want to.
552
00:25:03,322 --> 00:25:05,085
That's why I moved into delivery.
553
00:25:05,090 --> 00:25:06,654
Better tips, better hours,
554
00:25:06,659 --> 00:25:08,322
and you're allowed to eat the fries
555
00:25:08,327 --> 00:25:09,694
that fall out of the bag.
556
00:25:11,678 --> 00:25:14,379
Also, this spell ignores consent!
557
00:25:15,341 --> 00:25:16,942
You know...
558
00:25:18,237 --> 00:25:20,968
You moderns are so single-minded.
559
00:25:20,973 --> 00:25:23,470
There's all kinds of love!
560
00:25:23,475 --> 00:25:24,872
Sex doesn't enter the equation
561
00:25:24,877 --> 00:25:26,657
unless that's what the
client really wants.
562
00:25:28,047 --> 00:25:29,510
Mm-mm.
563
00:25:29,515 --> 00:25:30,949
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
564
00:25:32,551 --> 00:25:35,516
What if I bury the glitter and just go?
565
00:25:35,521 --> 00:25:37,251
Cupids...
566
00:25:37,256 --> 00:25:39,857
can only quit if they
pass it on by choice.
567
00:25:40,826 --> 00:25:43,257
A Cupid?
568
00:25:43,262 --> 00:25:45,459
Those were wing scars.
569
00:25:45,464 --> 00:25:47,895
I had them removed. So over the top.
570
00:25:47,900 --> 00:25:51,031
You were a Cupid and you
stopped believing in love?
571
00:25:51,036 --> 00:25:53,200
Oh, also...
572
00:25:53,205 --> 00:25:56,403
Be prepared to keep explaining
why you're not a fat baby.
573
00:25:56,408 --> 00:25:59,210
You know, stereotypes!
574
00:26:00,546 --> 00:26:01,946
Ta-ta!
575
00:26:06,418 --> 00:26:07,848
So you're saying...
576
00:26:07,853 --> 00:26:09,216
That's how you spread the love,
577
00:26:09,221 --> 00:26:11,418
with that little jar of sparkles?
578
00:26:11,423 --> 00:26:12,953
Yeah, I have to figure out a way
579
00:26:12,958 --> 00:26:14,993
to responsibly pass it on.
580
00:26:16,028 --> 00:26:18,859
I... I can't skip my own party!
581
00:26:18,864 --> 00:26:21,362
Nicole has a surprise for me.
582
00:26:21,367 --> 00:26:22,997
- I'm scared.
- (SNICKERING)
583
00:26:23,002 --> 00:26:25,010
Fifty bucks says she got
your name tattooed
584
00:26:25,015 --> 00:26:26,215
across her boobs.
585
00:26:26,972 --> 00:26:30,971
Which are so great, right?
586
00:26:30,976 --> 00:26:33,207
What did you call her boobs?
587
00:26:33,212 --> 00:26:35,040
I'm not in love with her, don't freak.
588
00:26:35,045 --> 00:26:38,445
I'm just... making sure that you are...
589
00:26:38,450 --> 00:26:40,147
still...
590
00:26:40,152 --> 00:26:42,020
into boobs, generally.
591
00:26:45,057 --> 00:26:46,821
- Wynonna?
- Yes?
592
00:26:46,826 --> 00:26:49,456
You sure you haven't had
any love zombie symptoms?
593
00:26:49,461 --> 00:26:51,425
Nope. Nothin' but net.
594
00:26:51,430 --> 00:26:53,727
Hmm.
595
00:26:53,732 --> 00:26:56,234
Maybe you're resistant to the spell.
596
00:26:57,369 --> 00:26:59,366
More like looked in the mirror
597
00:26:59,371 --> 00:27:02,636
and fell for the actual
hottest woman around.
598
00:27:02,641 --> 00:27:04,872
Good Golden Globes!
599
00:27:04,877 --> 00:27:07,007
You know Doc's not coming, right?
600
00:27:07,012 --> 00:27:09,076
(SCOFFING) Who?
601
00:27:09,081 --> 00:27:14,148
Listen, the only problem
you really have is...
602
00:27:14,153 --> 00:27:15,516
people adore you,
603
00:27:15,521 --> 00:27:17,455
which must be so hard.
604
00:27:18,290 --> 00:27:20,320
Can I borrow some mascara?
605
00:27:20,325 --> 00:27:21,922
Yeah, sure.
606
00:27:21,927 --> 00:27:24,358
Listen, just leave
that glitter shit here.
607
00:27:24,363 --> 00:27:25,663
It'll be safe,
608
00:27:25,668 --> 00:27:27,768
and we'll find a fat baby
to curse tomorrow.
609
00:27:27,773 --> 00:27:29,022
Oops!
610
00:27:32,938 --> 00:27:34,806
(WAVERLY SIGHS) Okay.
611
00:27:38,377 --> 00:27:39,940
- Hey.
- Hey!
612
00:27:39,945 --> 00:27:42,042
- Shall we go celebrate?
- (GASPING)
613
00:27:42,047 --> 00:27:43,648
I am so ready.
614
00:27:44,595 --> 00:27:47,297
The big guns are locked and loaded.
615
00:27:53,456 --> 00:27:55,320
Hi everyo... ahh!
616
00:27:55,325 --> 00:27:58,189
Hello, fiancée, who is marrying me.
617
00:27:58,194 --> 00:28:01,063
Welcome to our engagement party.
618
00:28:02,315 --> 00:28:04,128
Bunny! I wasn't expecting you.
619
00:28:04,133 --> 00:28:05,466
Yeah, nice blazer.
620
00:28:06,235 --> 00:28:07,465
You didn't call.
621
00:28:07,470 --> 00:28:09,800
I got two phones with
the exact same number
622
00:28:09,805 --> 00:28:10,905
so I didn't miss you.
623
00:28:12,208 --> 00:28:13,771
And Amon too!
624
00:28:13,776 --> 00:28:15,573
Well, your sister mentioned
625
00:28:15,578 --> 00:28:16,942
- Ow!
- ...the party, and I thought...
626
00:28:16,946 --> 00:28:19,574
maybe I might be of service.
627
00:28:19,579 --> 00:28:21,579
Raise your hand if you need servicing.
628
00:28:21,584 --> 00:28:23,518
- I'd like to hit that.
- Uh...
629
00:28:26,618 --> 00:28:27,951
Bunny? Come with me.
630
00:28:29,174 --> 00:28:32,473
This is your sister's engagement party.
631
00:28:32,478 --> 00:28:33,941
Did you have to go full on whore?
632
00:28:33,946 --> 00:28:35,976
I do look great. Nedley?
633
00:28:35,981 --> 00:28:38,913
Get Bunny a nice glass of water, okay?
634
00:28:38,918 --> 00:28:40,619
(WHISPERING): Give her
all the boozes, alright?
635
00:28:40,623 --> 00:28:43,183
Get her so sloshed she
thinks she's Jann Arden.
636
00:28:43,188 --> 00:28:45,386
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
637
00:28:45,391 --> 00:28:47,525
(MAGICAL SPARKLING)
638
00:28:51,363 --> 00:28:53,932
(ETHEREAL MUSIC)
639
00:28:57,136 --> 00:28:59,533
(MUSIC DRONING OUT)
640
00:28:59,538 --> 00:29:02,569
Cheese and crackers, Bonita.
641
00:29:02,574 --> 00:29:05,039
You know, you haven't looked
this great since church camp.
642
00:29:05,044 --> 00:29:06,244
You get your hair done?
643
00:29:11,750 --> 00:29:13,547
And that's when I knew...
644
00:29:13,552 --> 00:29:16,717
not only was I going
to win the bullfight,
645
00:29:16,722 --> 00:29:20,054
but I was gonna become
Spain's champion matador.
646
00:29:20,059 --> 00:29:21,755
She's a vegan.
647
00:29:21,760 --> 00:29:23,290
(GASPING) Amon?
648
00:29:23,295 --> 00:29:26,894
I am extremely interested
in bull riding.
649
00:29:26,899 --> 00:29:29,263
Or being ridden like one.
650
00:29:29,268 --> 00:29:30,297
Okay!
651
00:29:30,302 --> 00:29:32,070
Why are you doing this?
652
00:29:33,072 --> 00:29:35,069
Because Waverly's never inviting you
653
00:29:35,074 --> 00:29:37,274
to motorboat in her marina!
654
00:29:37,279 --> 00:29:39,573
- Wynonna!
- Everybody loves Waverly!
655
00:29:39,578 --> 00:29:42,142
It's always Waverly, Waverly, Waverly!
656
00:29:42,147 --> 00:29:43,711
(BUNNY OVER SPEAKERS): Excuse me?
657
00:29:43,716 --> 00:29:46,246
This is a love song,
and I am sending it out
658
00:29:46,251 --> 00:29:49,717
to... the most beautiful
woman in the world.
659
00:29:49,722 --> 00:29:51,018
Zoë Kravitz?
660
00:29:51,023 --> 00:29:52,519
Waverly Earp.
661
00:29:52,524 --> 00:29:54,722
- Oh, God.
- (WYNONNA WHINES)
662
00:29:54,727 --> 00:29:58,058
- (GUITAR MELODY)
- ♪ How do you cool your lips ♪
663
00:29:58,063 --> 00:30:00,127
- (AMON GRUMBLING)
- Hey, hey!
664
00:30:00,132 --> 00:30:03,935
♪ After a summer's kiss ♪
665
00:30:05,604 --> 00:30:08,035
- ♪ How do you... ♪
- (WHISPERING): Stop it!
666
00:30:08,040 --> 00:30:09,303
Wait!
667
00:30:09,308 --> 00:30:11,438
- I don't know.
- Oh, my God.
668
00:30:11,443 --> 00:30:14,975
♪ After the body bliss ♪
669
00:30:14,980 --> 00:30:16,643
(INSECTS CHIRPING)
670
00:30:16,648 --> 00:30:19,780
Mam said everyone associated
with the Earps were all evil,
671
00:30:19,785 --> 00:30:22,186
and that all you wanted
was for us to die.
672
00:30:23,489 --> 00:30:26,854
My mama, Alice, taught me if
a worthy person needs help,
673
00:30:26,859 --> 00:30:28,589
you help.
674
00:30:28,594 --> 00:30:30,361
(CLEO CHUCKLES)
675
00:30:31,663 --> 00:30:33,327
Worthy?
676
00:30:33,332 --> 00:30:36,667
She had big plans. A legacy to fulfill.
677
00:30:37,536 --> 00:30:40,534
And now I'm too stupid and
too alone to fulfill them.
678
00:30:40,539 --> 00:30:42,173
(SOFT MUSIC)
679
00:30:43,675 --> 00:30:45,543
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
680
00:30:48,013 --> 00:30:49,981
You look at yourself.
681
00:30:50,883 --> 00:30:52,850
I hate my stupid face.
682
00:30:54,186 --> 00:30:55,916
Your eyes are sharp.
683
00:30:55,921 --> 00:30:58,356
That is where the beauty is.
684
00:30:59,291 --> 00:31:00,725
You survived.
685
00:31:01,860 --> 00:31:03,900
And no vindictive old woman's words
686
00:31:03,905 --> 00:31:05,635
can take that away from you.
687
00:31:05,640 --> 00:31:08,004
It's your turn to do whatever you want,
688
00:31:08,009 --> 00:31:09,877
on your terms.
689
00:31:11,270 --> 00:31:13,304
Be your own legacy, Cleo.
690
00:31:21,046 --> 00:31:22,713
Why are you helping me?
691
00:31:24,550 --> 00:31:26,451
It's what I do.
692
00:31:28,821 --> 00:31:31,022
I'm a damn good sidekick.
693
00:31:32,524 --> 00:31:34,692
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
694
00:31:35,527 --> 00:31:37,357
(BUNNY SINGING)
695
00:31:37,362 --> 00:31:39,697
(BUNNY AND NEDLEY SINGING): Insensitive!
696
00:31:40,899 --> 00:31:43,163
- Hey, hey, hey!
- I, too, have a song.
697
00:31:43,168 --> 00:31:45,099
You don't come in on Bunny's territory!
698
00:31:45,104 --> 00:31:48,035
(NICOLE SINGING): Oh I love
you, love you, love you...
699
00:31:48,040 --> 00:31:49,603
(OVERLAPPING ARGUING)
700
00:31:49,608 --> 00:31:52,940
(WYNONNA SINGING): Ride my bull!
701
00:31:52,945 --> 00:31:55,843
(BUNNY): Guys, you're
ruining everything!
702
00:31:55,848 --> 00:31:57,578
(CLATTERING)
703
00:31:57,583 --> 00:31:59,383
(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC)
704
00:32:00,752 --> 00:32:02,516
Nedley.
705
00:32:02,521 --> 00:32:03,984
(SINGING, SHOUTING)
706
00:32:03,989 --> 00:32:07,089
(ARGUING CONTINUES)
707
00:32:07,094 --> 00:32:08,726
(BUNNY): You're ruining everything!
708
00:32:10,996 --> 00:32:12,593
(CLATTERING)
709
00:32:12,598 --> 00:32:14,268
- (WHISPERING): I need your help.
- (NICOLE): Waverly?
710
00:32:14,272 --> 00:32:15,582
Turns out I've been passing on
711
00:32:15,586 --> 00:32:17,342
- a love disease!
- (OVERLAPPING BACKGROUND CHATTER)
712
00:32:17,346 --> 00:32:19,866
No! Not that kind of love disease!
713
00:32:19,871 --> 00:32:20,971
Baby, do you need help?
714
00:32:20,976 --> 00:32:23,540
This one gives people
insane feelings of adoration
715
00:32:23,545 --> 00:32:26,009
- for the next person they see.
- Waverly, I know you want it.
716
00:32:26,014 --> 00:32:28,709
I need you to come down
to Shorty's. Please!
717
00:32:28,714 --> 00:32:30,948
You're the only one unaffected!
718
00:32:31,884 --> 00:32:34,314
(EXCITED SQUEALING)
719
00:32:34,319 --> 00:32:37,219
Nobody has ever talked to me like that.
720
00:32:38,223 --> 00:32:39,823
I should be on my way.
721
00:32:39,828 --> 00:32:41,578
It makes me happy that Mam and Nicole's
722
00:32:41,583 --> 00:32:43,914
- covenant for you went bust.
- Nicole?
723
00:32:43,919 --> 00:32:45,082
(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC)
724
00:32:45,087 --> 00:32:46,454
Yeah.
725
00:32:47,499 --> 00:32:49,830
Mam helped her get Waverly
726
00:32:49,835 --> 00:32:51,632
out of the garden,
727
00:32:51,637 --> 00:32:53,600
in exchange for...
728
00:32:53,605 --> 00:32:55,473
well, you.
729
00:32:56,808 --> 00:32:58,109
(DOC EXHALES)
730
00:32:59,144 --> 00:33:01,108
I understand.
731
00:33:01,113 --> 00:33:03,181
Unfortunately.
732
00:33:05,150 --> 00:33:07,185
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
733
00:33:08,754 --> 00:33:12,356
(CAR DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES)
734
00:33:16,795 --> 00:33:18,959
(CAR STARTS)
735
00:33:18,964 --> 00:33:21,098
(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC)
736
00:33:24,436 --> 00:33:26,804
(SOFT EERIE MUSIC)
737
00:33:35,647 --> 00:33:38,011
(CHAIN CLANKING)
738
00:33:38,016 --> 00:33:39,917
(LOW GROWLING)
739
00:33:46,992 --> 00:33:48,622
(SCREAMING)
740
00:33:48,627 --> 00:33:50,791
The hummus! I hand squished it myself!
741
00:33:50,796 --> 00:33:52,859
Get your bean hands off of my guitar!
742
00:33:52,864 --> 00:33:54,995
A lady should not have to ask twice.
743
00:33:55,000 --> 00:33:56,897
(BUNNY): Randy, you're not helping!
744
00:33:56,902 --> 00:33:59,266
- (NICOLE): Stay out of this!
- (OVERLAPPING CHATTER)
745
00:33:59,271 --> 00:34:01,301
Doc! Thank Eros.
746
00:34:01,306 --> 00:34:04,204
- That is so hot!
- Can't we just be friends?
747
00:34:04,209 --> 00:34:06,974
Well, don't just stand
there, distract Wynonna!
748
00:34:06,979 --> 00:34:08,909
- I'd rather not.
- (BALLOONS POPPING)
749
00:34:08,914 --> 00:34:10,414
Damn it, Doc!
750
00:34:10,419 --> 00:34:12,849
Alright, by grabs.
751
00:34:12,854 --> 00:34:14,384
(OVERLAPPING ARGUING)
752
00:34:14,389 --> 00:34:19,019
Excuse me, I've got an online
order here for a Waverly Earp?
753
00:34:19,024 --> 00:34:20,687
Demetri! Hi!
754
00:34:20,692 --> 00:34:22,522
- ...karaokier!
- Guys!
755
00:34:22,527 --> 00:34:24,958
- Look what we've done!
- Where's the sparkle jar?
756
00:34:24,963 --> 00:34:26,159
I left it at home.
757
00:34:26,164 --> 00:34:28,829
Ow! Stop it!
758
00:34:28,834 --> 00:34:29,834
You may have...
759
00:34:29,839 --> 00:34:31,302
I'm giving you a golden shower
760
00:34:31,307 --> 00:34:32,399
whether you like it or not!
761
00:34:32,404 --> 00:34:34,835
Wyno... No!
762
00:34:34,840 --> 00:34:36,641
- Ah!
- Whoa!
763
00:34:37,743 --> 00:34:39,773
(MAGICAL SPARKLING)
764
00:34:39,778 --> 00:34:42,745
(BRIGHT MUSIC)
765
00:34:56,219 --> 00:34:57,649
Can't believe I'm friends
766
00:34:57,654 --> 00:35:00,451
with the greatest gunslinger
that ever lived.
767
00:35:00,456 --> 00:35:02,086
Doc mother-kissing Holliday.
768
00:35:02,091 --> 00:35:04,956
Are you kidding? I cannot
believe I am amigos
769
00:35:04,961 --> 00:35:08,526
with four-time curling
champion Randy Nedley.
770
00:35:08,531 --> 00:35:10,028
I love you.
771
00:35:10,033 --> 00:35:13,631
You hiding a fluffy little
bunny tail in those slacks?
772
00:35:13,636 --> 00:35:14,936
You wanna check?
773
00:35:14,941 --> 00:35:16,241
You know, I suddenly wonder,
774
00:35:16,246 --> 00:35:17,578
if you weren't gonna
be my sister-in-law,
775
00:35:17,582 --> 00:35:20,438
- could we do things?
- Mmm, Nicole.
776
00:35:20,443 --> 00:35:23,141
I love you more than whisky.
777
00:35:23,146 --> 00:35:25,143
But I think you're driving
this bus somewhere
778
00:35:25,148 --> 00:35:26,444
we don't want it to go.
779
00:35:26,449 --> 00:35:28,613
Your spit destroys love?
780
00:35:28,618 --> 00:35:31,149
The universe craves balance.
781
00:35:31,154 --> 00:35:33,117
You could've just told me that!
782
00:35:33,122 --> 00:35:35,086
Should we get naked anyway?
783
00:35:35,091 --> 00:35:38,894
- Just for... science.
- Okie dokie...
784
00:35:39,696 --> 00:35:42,664
Can I cut in? Hmm...
785
00:35:47,036 --> 00:35:48,470
I cannot.
786
00:35:49,706 --> 00:35:51,703
Sorry brother, may I?
787
00:35:51,708 --> 00:35:53,538
(SIGHING)
788
00:35:53,543 --> 00:35:55,243
(CHUCKLING)
789
00:35:58,848 --> 00:36:01,483
(SOFT MUSIC)
790
00:36:05,755 --> 00:36:08,753
I can almost see the love
vibrating off them.
791
00:36:08,758 --> 00:36:10,521
(DEMETRI): It's fake, pumpkin.
792
00:36:10,526 --> 00:36:13,658
Your insane sister caused
it with a glitter bomb.
793
00:36:13,663 --> 00:36:15,664
You're always so...
794
00:36:17,366 --> 00:36:18,533
...sad.
795
00:36:19,602 --> 00:36:20,932
Wait.
796
00:36:20,937 --> 00:36:23,739
Not just sad.
797
00:36:26,109 --> 00:36:28,176
What was their name?
798
00:36:32,181 --> 00:36:33,778
Amon.
799
00:36:33,783 --> 00:36:35,012
What?
800
00:36:35,017 --> 00:36:36,447
Yeah.
801
00:36:36,452 --> 00:36:39,655
After two years, he changed the locks.
802
00:36:40,890 --> 00:36:43,191
He said I bored him.
803
00:36:45,061 --> 00:36:47,963
Your heartbreak proved that love...
804
00:36:49,065 --> 00:36:50,899
does exist.
805
00:36:51,834 --> 00:36:55,500
And their love for one
another, it's not fake.
806
00:36:55,505 --> 00:36:59,107
It just gets buried day-to-day
807
00:36:59,909 --> 00:37:01,576
under hurt...
808
00:37:02,411 --> 00:37:04,375
and pride.
809
00:37:04,380 --> 00:37:07,245
It doesn't always last forever,
810
00:37:07,250 --> 00:37:09,380
but it's real.
811
00:37:09,385 --> 00:37:10,519
(SCOFFING)
812
00:37:13,422 --> 00:37:14,986
Fine.
813
00:37:14,991 --> 00:37:16,648
I'll take the Cupid power back.
814
00:37:16,653 --> 00:37:19,524
But you have to help
me unmess your mess.
815
00:37:19,529 --> 00:37:21,058
Fine.
816
00:37:21,063 --> 00:37:23,227
Aim for the butts.
817
00:37:23,232 --> 00:37:24,896
Love lives in the butt.
818
00:37:24,901 --> 00:37:26,764
- (SINISTER MUSIC)
- Who's there?
819
00:37:26,769 --> 00:37:28,833
- (DEEP VOICE): Rachel?
- Billy?
820
00:37:28,838 --> 00:37:30,405
I want to go home.
821
00:37:31,507 --> 00:37:32,670
(SPITTING)
822
00:37:32,675 --> 00:37:35,110
(SOFT MUSIC PLAYING)
823
00:37:39,115 --> 00:37:40,849
(SPITTING)
824
00:37:43,586 --> 00:37:45,287
I don't want to let go.
825
00:37:55,965 --> 00:37:57,662
(SPITTING)
826
00:37:57,667 --> 00:37:59,434
- Ah.
- (SPITTING)
827
00:38:00,570 --> 00:38:02,433
Well, this is weird.
828
00:38:02,438 --> 00:38:03,467
Understatement.
829
00:38:03,472 --> 00:38:05,470
- (SPITTING)
- Ow! Randy!
830
00:38:05,475 --> 00:38:06,804
(DEMETRI): Oh, nailed it!
831
00:38:06,809 --> 00:38:09,778
Oh, we can never speak of this again.
832
00:38:12,548 --> 00:38:14,548
(SNORTING)
833
00:38:14,553 --> 00:38:15,553
(LAUGHING)
834
00:38:15,558 --> 00:38:16,558
(DOOR CLOSES)
835
00:38:16,563 --> 00:38:18,063
- Yes!
- We did it!
836
00:38:19,748 --> 00:38:21,611
(LAUGHING)
837
00:38:21,616 --> 00:38:24,618
So, I don't exactly understand
what happened, but...
838
00:38:25,845 --> 00:38:28,685
You still seem to love me, so...
839
00:38:28,690 --> 00:38:31,154
- I do.
- (DOOR CLOSES)
840
00:38:31,159 --> 00:38:34,024
And I think we settled on
a medium fussy wedding.
841
00:38:34,029 --> 00:38:35,592
Perfect.
842
00:38:35,597 --> 00:38:37,465
(GIGGLING)
843
00:38:39,134 --> 00:38:40,664
Well...
844
00:38:40,669 --> 00:38:43,533
I chose you, Waverly Earp,
845
00:38:43,538 --> 00:38:46,203
because I hadn't seen
anyone this in love.
846
00:38:46,208 --> 00:38:50,373
- Not since... forever.
- (CELL PHONE RINGING)
847
00:38:50,378 --> 00:38:53,843
Yeah? Get off my ass, Marty.
848
00:38:53,848 --> 00:38:56,379
Alright? Yeah, their burgers
are coming in a sec.
849
00:38:56,384 --> 00:38:58,148
Yeah, they're still warm!
850
00:38:58,153 --> 00:39:01,418
Whichever one of us kids
became Clanton heir...
851
00:39:01,423 --> 00:39:05,388
you planned for us to turn
you into a Reaper, right?
852
00:39:05,393 --> 00:39:07,540
To join those we'd lost.
853
00:39:07,545 --> 00:39:10,146
And together, we'd avenge our name.
854
00:39:12,167 --> 00:39:14,498
And I will do that, Mam.
855
00:39:14,503 --> 00:39:15,999
(FLIES BUZZING)
856
00:39:16,004 --> 00:39:17,801
I'll destroy them.
857
00:39:17,806 --> 00:39:20,374
All of them, just like you wanted.
858
00:39:23,245 --> 00:39:26,042
But you're never gonna see it.
859
00:39:26,047 --> 00:39:28,241
Did you really think I'd forgive you
860
00:39:28,246 --> 00:39:29,746
for killing Billy?
861
00:39:29,751 --> 00:39:32,549
(INTENSE MUSIC)
862
00:39:32,554 --> 00:39:34,351
- Dinner, everybody!
- (GROWLING)
863
00:39:34,356 --> 00:39:37,353
Who's ready for some rotten old bitch?
864
00:39:37,357 --> 00:39:39,524
(CREATURES SCREECHING)
865
00:39:44,222 --> 00:39:45,522
Jesus Christ!
866
00:39:45,527 --> 00:39:46,757
Okay. Hey, Bunny!
867
00:39:46,762 --> 00:39:49,209
Do you need us to give you a ride home?
868
00:39:49,214 --> 00:39:51,545
- What, do you think I'm drunk?
- I am drunk.
869
00:39:51,550 --> 00:39:53,680
I'm as drunk as a bum the
day the cheques come out!
870
00:39:53,685 --> 00:39:54,925
Oh, boy.
871
00:39:54,930 --> 00:39:56,526
You guys are really, really special.
872
00:39:56,531 --> 00:39:58,723
And the love you have
for each other is...
873
00:39:58,728 --> 00:40:00,291
nothing short of inspiring.
874
00:40:00,296 --> 00:40:03,294
Oh. That actually means
a lot that you said that.
875
00:40:03,299 --> 00:40:04,670
Yeah, it'd mean a lot
more if she meant it.
876
00:40:04,674 --> 00:40:06,174
No, no, no. I mean it.
877
00:40:06,179 --> 00:40:08,543
Anyone that doesn't think so...
878
00:40:08,548 --> 00:40:11,617
Just because you share four breasts...
879
00:40:12,833 --> 00:40:15,063
they're a bunch of dumdums.
880
00:40:15,068 --> 00:40:16,814
(CHUCKLING)
881
00:40:16,819 --> 00:40:18,849
You sure we can't give you a ride home?
882
00:40:18,854 --> 00:40:21,485
Randy Nedley is going
to give me a ride home.
883
00:40:21,490 --> 00:40:22,891
Oh!
884
00:40:23,809 --> 00:40:26,072
Well, have a nice evening, lesbians.
885
00:40:26,077 --> 00:40:27,874
Uh, Waverly's bisexual.
886
00:40:27,879 --> 00:40:30,381
Yeah, well, just say horny.
887
00:40:33,229 --> 00:40:35,559
And she's back.
888
00:40:35,564 --> 00:40:36,894
(DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES)
889
00:40:36,899 --> 00:40:39,834
Surely there are other
bars for you to drink in.
890
00:40:41,137 --> 00:40:42,633
(WEAPON POWERING UP)
891
00:40:42,638 --> 00:40:44,802
I came for the entertainment.
892
00:40:44,807 --> 00:40:46,808
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
893
00:40:48,344 --> 00:40:50,641
Now there's the Earp sister I like.
894
00:40:50,646 --> 00:40:53,715
Hazardous, hot, half-in-the-bag.
895
00:40:57,119 --> 00:40:59,250
I wasn't sure if you'd be alone.
896
00:40:59,255 --> 00:41:01,486
Demetri?
897
00:41:01,491 --> 00:41:04,455
He left after I let him
yell some nonsense
898
00:41:04,460 --> 00:41:07,462
about how I have no soul.
899
00:41:08,712 --> 00:41:10,579
Hmm. (WYNONNA CHUCKLES)
900
00:41:12,134 --> 00:41:13,635
Been there.
901
00:41:15,336 --> 00:41:16,936
Hated it.
902
00:41:18,839 --> 00:41:22,275
I was mostly bored.
I guess I am a monster.
903
00:41:25,114 --> 00:41:26,881
Who gives a fuck?
904
00:41:29,094 --> 00:41:30,791
I thought you wanted to kill me.
905
00:41:30,796 --> 00:41:33,294
All I want is...
906
00:41:33,299 --> 00:41:36,968
to stop feeling guilty for what I am.
907
00:41:38,910 --> 00:41:41,140
When what I am...
908
00:41:41,145 --> 00:41:43,180
is necessary.
909
00:41:44,188 --> 00:41:45,688
You're a...
910
00:41:46,724 --> 00:41:48,825
You're a confusing woman.
911
00:41:51,841 --> 00:41:53,575
Flexible, too.
912
00:41:59,766 --> 00:42:01,029
Are you gonna tell me
913
00:42:01,034 --> 00:42:03,369
you're in love with my sister now?
914
00:42:06,430 --> 00:42:08,231
- No, ma'am.
- Good.
915
00:42:10,368 --> 00:42:12,632
Now show me how you ride that bull.
916
00:42:12,637 --> 00:42:14,070
(AMON GASPS)
917
00:42:27,182 --> 00:42:28,782
Billy?
918
00:42:31,122 --> 00:42:34,357
Welcome home, little brother.
919
00:42:36,141 --> 00:42:38,941
It's time we took back what's ours.
920
00:42:58,110 --> 00:43:02,110
- Synced and corrected by Firefly -
- www.addic7ed.com -
62106
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