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1
00:00:02,924 --> 00:00:04,123
All right, everyone,
2
00:00:04,125 --> 00:00:06,626
it's time to assign your volunteer duties.
3
00:00:06,628 --> 00:00:09,328
Because Nate's sinuses are
stuffed up from allergies,
4
00:00:09,330 --> 00:00:11,864
he's volunteered to
monitor the Plasti-Potties.
5
00:00:11,866 --> 00:00:14,133
I can't smell, so do your worst.
6
00:00:14,135 --> 00:00:17,270
Robin, you will be slinging
your homemade corn hooch.
7
00:00:17,272 --> 00:00:19,939
I mean "legal refreshments."
8
00:00:19,941 --> 00:00:22,508
Davis, as always,
you're the parking supervisor.
9
00:00:22,510 --> 00:00:23,743
All right!
10
00:00:23,745 --> 00:00:26,479
Oscar and Emma will be
your parking assistants.
11
00:00:26,481 --> 00:00:28,714
- Parking?
- Assistants?!
12
00:00:28,716 --> 00:00:31,277
As always, I will be manning
the information booth.
13
00:00:31,301 --> 00:00:34,954
Is everyone okay with us using
that name for the information booth?
14
00:00:34,956 --> 00:00:36,622
Why? What's wrong with it?
15
00:00:36,624 --> 00:00:41,093
It's the hub of all things corn.
Have fun, everyone!
16
00:00:41,095 --> 00:00:43,396
Stupid lousy parking.
17
00:00:43,398 --> 00:00:46,232
Working in a hot, dusty gravel lot.
18
00:00:46,234 --> 00:00:48,034
Parking's not stupid.
19
00:00:48,036 --> 00:00:50,770
It brings me back
to when I was a traffic cop.
20
00:00:53,036 --> 00:00:55,374
We get it. It's all about you.
21
00:00:55,376 --> 00:00:58,477
It seems a bit much, considering.
22
00:00:58,479 --> 00:01:01,447
Hey, whistle shorts! Can I go now?
23
00:01:03,985 --> 00:01:08,888
Great. Working in a hot, dusty
gravel lot with whistle pants.
24
00:01:08,890 --> 00:01:12,658
♪ You think there's not a lot goin' on ♪
25
00:01:12,660 --> 00:01:15,861
♪ Look closer, baby You're so wrong ♪
26
00:01:25,939 --> 00:01:27,106
Just so you know, Fitzy,
27
00:01:27,108 --> 00:01:29,976
I'm still burned that you
fired me as maze designer.
28
00:01:29,978 --> 00:01:34,213
This sucks. People loved my
elite, original maze designs.
29
00:01:34,215 --> 00:01:37,083
You're playing fast and
loose with the term "elite."
30
00:01:37,085 --> 00:01:39,352
Two years ago, your maze
was just a left turn.
31
00:01:39,354 --> 00:01:42,955
Yeah, I called that one "The Corn-Er."
32
00:01:42,957 --> 00:01:46,125
- Less is more.
- One year, it was just a straight line.
33
00:01:46,127 --> 00:01:47,960
Ah, "The Corn-Idor."
34
00:01:47,962 --> 00:01:50,062
Some called it "the gauntlet of niblets."
35
00:01:50,064 --> 00:01:51,831
Nobody called it that.
36
00:01:51,833 --> 00:01:54,867
Last year you had a path into
the middle that circled back out.
37
00:01:54,869 --> 00:01:56,402
Ah, "The Corn-de-Sac."
38
00:01:56,404 --> 00:01:58,304
More like "the corn-de-suck."
39
00:01:58,306 --> 00:02:00,473
Mazes are supposed to be challenging.
40
00:02:00,475 --> 00:02:02,708
That's why Wanda's doing it this year.
41
00:02:02,710 --> 00:02:03,876
She seems keen.
42
00:02:03,878 --> 00:02:05,778
♪ I made a maze! ♪
43
00:02:05,880 --> 00:02:07,613
♪ I made a maze! ♪
44
00:02:07,615 --> 00:02:09,682
Yeah, cool, puzzles are fun!
45
00:02:09,684 --> 00:02:12,084
A maze is more than a puzzle.
46
00:02:12,086 --> 00:02:14,553
It's a plethora of intricate possibilities
47
00:02:14,555 --> 00:02:17,189
- that tax all five senses.
- For sure.
48
00:02:17,191 --> 00:02:19,392
I remember this one I
did on a Denny's placemat,
49
00:02:19,394 --> 00:02:21,894
it took me all the way through to dessert.
50
00:02:21,896 --> 00:02:25,231
Ah, sweet, simple Karen.
51
00:02:25,233 --> 00:02:27,633
This isn't something you do with a crayon.
52
00:02:27,635 --> 00:02:30,603
This is a three-dimensional
trap for the mind.
53
00:02:30,605 --> 00:02:34,607
Oh. Well, I'll just take
my crayons and go home then.
54
00:02:34,609 --> 00:02:37,326
No, stick, around.
I've invited a Maze Master
55
00:02:37,327 --> 00:02:40,846
to come judge my maze,
and if it meets his mustard,
56
00:02:40,848 --> 00:02:44,016
I could get into the Maze Masters Club.
57
00:02:44,018 --> 00:02:47,887
Whoopity-ding. Enjoy your nerd nest.
58
00:02:47,889 --> 00:02:49,922
Hey, partner, last chance to join me
59
00:02:49,924 --> 00:02:52,758
- on Dancing with the Cars.
- Oh, I'd love to,
60
00:02:52,760 --> 00:02:54,060
but, you know, we got those calls
61
00:02:54,064 --> 00:02:56,829
about the strange lights
in the sky last night.
62
00:02:56,831 --> 00:03:01,934
- So... I'm on sky watch.
- Oh, well, your loss.
63
00:03:06,473 --> 00:03:08,374
Dog River Days, Pioneer Days,
64
00:03:08,376 --> 00:03:10,543
Harvest Dance, Corn Festival...
65
00:03:10,545 --> 00:03:13,646
how many hootenannys does a town need?
66
00:03:13,648 --> 00:03:16,082
Hootenannys? We're not hillbillies.
67
00:03:16,084 --> 00:03:17,483
They're called "hoe-downs."
68
00:03:17,485 --> 00:03:19,418
Ah, well, pardon my big-city ignorance.
69
00:03:19,420 --> 00:03:23,089
Anyway, I'm excited about
the corn maze. Aren't you?
70
00:03:23,091 --> 00:03:25,925
Walls of corn. Figuring out where to go!
71
00:03:25,927 --> 00:03:27,227
Left? Right?
72
00:03:27,228 --> 00:03:28,861
Sometimes even straight.
73
00:03:28,863 --> 00:03:30,529
Boy, you really know how to sell it,
74
00:03:30,531 --> 00:03:32,765
but our first priority
is selling this popcorn.
75
00:03:32,767 --> 00:03:35,301
- All of it.
- That is a lot of popcorn.
76
00:03:35,303 --> 00:03:38,288
- Well, it's for Charity.
- Oh, which charity?
77
00:03:38,289 --> 00:03:39,472
Charity Shabatoski.
78
00:03:39,474 --> 00:03:42,558
It's a local gal we're
sending to law school.
79
00:03:45,679 --> 00:03:47,379
Artisanal popcorn?
80
00:03:47,381 --> 00:03:49,849
Four-syllable words make the price go up.
81
00:03:49,851 --> 00:03:53,052
- What flavour did you make?
- I call it "Prairie Dust Bowl."
82
00:03:53,054 --> 00:03:55,788
I used the cheese dust
from a box of macaroni,
83
00:03:55,790 --> 00:03:57,323
a hot-chocolate powder packet,
84
00:03:57,325 --> 00:03:58,557
and chicken soup mix,
85
00:03:58,559 --> 00:04:01,127
then topped it off with shaved coconut.
86
00:04:01,129 --> 00:04:03,705
It's a tornado of flavour.
87
00:04:05,399 --> 00:04:07,833
Ew, or an assault of flavour.
88
00:04:07,835 --> 00:04:09,602
Oh, right, forgot the salt.
89
00:04:13,212 --> 00:04:16,509
Okay, assistants, I'll be
working parking lot "A,"
90
00:04:16,511 --> 00:04:19,612
and you'll be over there,
in parking lot "B."
91
00:04:19,614 --> 00:04:21,981
Why do we get the bumpy, dusty one?
92
00:04:21,983 --> 00:04:25,484
- Why can't we have lot "A"?
- Lot "A" is the big leagues.
93
00:04:25,486 --> 00:04:27,419
Show me what you can do in "B,"
94
00:04:27,421 --> 00:04:31,023
and maybe you'll get to
boogie with the big boys.
95
00:04:31,025 --> 00:04:32,992
A girl can dream.
96
00:04:35,263 --> 00:04:38,130
Uh... looks more like a nightmare.
97
00:04:40,501 --> 00:04:42,735
Brent! You're at the festival?
98
00:04:42,737 --> 00:04:46,105
- I'm surprised, what with your fear of...
- Keep your voice down.
99
00:04:46,107 --> 00:04:49,008
I don't want Lacey to
know about my corn thing.
100
00:04:49,010 --> 00:04:51,343
Here, try some of my popcorn.
101
00:04:52,112 --> 00:04:54,146
What do ya think? Pretty complicated, right?
102
00:04:54,148 --> 00:04:56,682
- Too much, probably?
- No, no, no.
103
00:04:56,684 --> 00:04:59,552
It-it's complicated, and almost revolting,
104
00:04:59,554 --> 00:05:01,654
but with an off-putting allure.
105
00:05:01,656 --> 00:05:05,524
It walks a line between nausea and, uh...
106
00:05:05,526 --> 00:05:07,760
- nummy.
- So you hate it, right?
107
00:05:07,762 --> 00:05:09,662
Hey, Hank, sorry to hear
108
00:05:09,664 --> 00:05:12,231
you didn't get to design the maze this year.
109
00:05:12,233 --> 00:05:15,134
- Ah, you're just saying that.
- Yeah, I am!
110
00:05:15,136 --> 00:05:17,870
I can't wait to try Wanda's maze.
Should be awesome!
111
00:05:17,872 --> 00:05:20,039
Wow. People love to tear a guy down.
112
00:05:20,041 --> 00:05:22,808
Gimme two more bags of your funky popcorn.
113
00:05:22,810 --> 00:05:24,577
- Really?
- Hey, Nate!
114
00:05:24,711 --> 00:05:26,345
Tell me if you think this tastes raunchy.
115
00:05:26,347 --> 00:05:28,147
Someone bought your popcorn.
116
00:05:28,149 --> 00:05:31,150
We are two bags closer to doing the maze.
117
00:05:31,152 --> 00:05:34,872
Yeah, well, lots more to sell.
118
00:05:38,524 --> 00:05:40,924
Bleuch! It tastes like litter box nuggets.
119
00:05:41,094 --> 00:05:42,693
But with a hint of coconut.
120
00:05:42,847 --> 00:05:44,862
It's like getting sunscreen in your mouth
121
00:05:44,934 --> 00:05:47,265
while eating chicken soup.
122
00:05:47,562 --> 00:05:49,762
Yes! It's confirmed.
123
00:05:49,764 --> 00:05:53,499
Maze Master Myron is
coming to judge my maze.
124
00:05:53,501 --> 00:05:56,553
Oh, I can't wait to see what a Maze Master
125
00:05:56,554 --> 00:05:58,823
- named Myron looks like.
- Probably hot,
126
00:05:58,858 --> 00:06:01,674
and smart enough to know a
good maze when he sees one.
127
00:06:01,676 --> 00:06:03,476
Geez, rub a little salt in the wound.
128
00:06:03,478 --> 00:06:06,712
What does your stupid maze have
that my maze didn't?
129
00:06:06,714 --> 00:06:07,580
The maze part.
130
00:06:07,582 --> 00:06:10,049
Why don't you go in
and see what a real one's like?
131
00:06:10,051 --> 00:06:11,283
Fine, I will.
132
00:06:11,285 --> 00:06:14,120
What's so special about your...
133
00:06:14,122 --> 00:06:15,955
Uh-oh, wrong turn.
134
00:06:15,957 --> 00:06:19,258
Uh... I think I'm lost.
135
00:06:19,260 --> 00:06:21,660
Can anyone hear me? Wanda!
136
00:06:21,662 --> 00:06:23,262
Nope! Not a word!
137
00:06:23,264 --> 00:06:25,197
Dammit! K-Karen?
138
00:06:25,199 --> 00:06:27,433
Sorry. Karen's on sky watch.
139
00:06:29,170 --> 00:06:32,071
Yeah... Uh... Yeah, baby.
140
00:06:32,073 --> 00:06:33,472
My hips don't fib.
141
00:06:35,409 --> 00:06:39,411
He's got so many more cars than us.
He's making us look bad.
142
00:06:39,413 --> 00:06:41,147
We need to get folks' attention.
143
00:06:41,149 --> 00:06:43,682
- Take your top off.
- I'm not doing that!
144
00:06:43,684 --> 00:06:46,085
I'm not even wearing my good bra.
145
00:06:47,321 --> 00:06:49,822
There should be a reserved spot for me.
146
00:06:49,824 --> 00:06:53,526
- I'm the Maze Master.
- Yeah? Well, I'm the Parking Prince.
147
00:06:53,528 --> 00:06:55,461
So you can cool your jets a minute.
148
00:06:56,497 --> 00:06:59,398
Hey, station wagon, room over here!
149
00:06:59,400 --> 00:07:01,240
Hoo-wa, hoo-wa.
150
00:07:01,402 --> 00:07:05,704
- Davis stole our car.
- This means war.
151
00:07:08,042 --> 00:07:09,575
Maze Master Myron is parking.
152
00:07:09,577 --> 00:07:13,812
Karen, make sure he doesn't
get mobbed by puzzle bunnies.
153
00:07:13,814 --> 00:07:17,116
- Puzzle what?
- Fans. Don't embarrass me.
154
00:07:17,118 --> 00:07:20,052
I'll handle the puzzle stuff,
you just do your job.
155
00:07:22,790 --> 00:07:25,324
Maze Master Myron has arrived!
156
00:07:26,294 --> 00:07:28,827
Oh! Hello, sir!
157
00:07:28,829 --> 00:07:32,898
- Sire. Your sireness.
- "Your sireness"?
158
00:07:32,900 --> 00:07:36,402
- How was your drive?
- Pedestrian at best.
159
00:07:37,572 --> 00:07:39,171
Pedestrian...
160
00:07:40,208 --> 00:07:43,776
Driving... Oh, you are so funny.
161
00:07:43,778 --> 00:07:46,278
I know. I need to freshen up a little.
162
00:07:46,280 --> 00:07:47,646
Where are the facilities?
163
00:07:47,648 --> 00:07:50,449
- The Plasti-Potties are that way.
- Plasti-Potties?
164
00:07:50,451 --> 00:07:53,419
Use the far left one.
It has the best air freshener.
165
00:07:53,421 --> 00:07:55,384
"Plum Paradise."
166
00:07:56,424 --> 00:07:59,725
Wow... he's even more
than I thought he'd be.
167
00:07:59,727 --> 00:08:03,430
He's pretty much exactly
what I thought he'd be.
168
00:08:07,241 --> 00:08:09,808
How's the coconut water?
Can I get you anything else?
169
00:08:09,810 --> 00:08:11,243
Back rub? Foot rub?
170
00:08:11,245 --> 00:08:14,145
- Karen, untie his shoes.
- That will never happen.
171
00:08:15,515 --> 00:08:18,316
Well, hello. We haven't been introduced.
172
00:08:18,318 --> 00:08:20,285
I'm Maze Master Myron,
173
00:08:20,287 --> 00:08:24,122
- but everyone calls me "Triple M."
- Do they really, though?
174
00:08:24,124 --> 00:08:27,559
They used to call me Eminem-inem,
but, legal issues.
175
00:08:27,561 --> 00:08:29,528
You look a lot like the police character
176
00:08:29,530 --> 00:08:31,963
from one of my favourite video games.
177
00:08:31,965 --> 00:08:34,266
Yeah, that looks nothing like me.
178
00:08:34,268 --> 00:08:37,669
Also, I don't carry my handcuffs
clipped to a thong.
179
00:08:37,671 --> 00:08:40,963
Ha! Fascinating stuff. Karen, a word?
180
00:08:41,741 --> 00:08:45,377
I said make him feel VIP,
not throw yourself at him.
181
00:08:45,379 --> 00:08:48,847
Throw myself at him?
I'm trying not to throw up on him.
182
00:08:48,849 --> 00:08:50,683
Really? Thongs and handcuffs?
183
00:08:50,716 --> 00:08:52,784
You're just like all
the other puzzle bunnies.
184
00:08:52,786 --> 00:08:54,119
Puzzle bunnies?
185
00:08:54,121 --> 00:08:57,422
This guy couldn't attract a rat with cheese.
186
00:08:59,859 --> 00:09:02,828
Wow. This maze is a real maze.
187
00:09:02,830 --> 00:09:04,729
How long have I been in here?
188
00:09:04,731 --> 00:09:06,932
Five minutes? Three days?
189
00:09:06,934 --> 00:09:09,034
Time is meaningless.
190
00:09:09,036 --> 00:09:10,001
Hang on.
191
00:09:10,003 --> 00:09:13,405
That corn looks just like the other corn.
192
00:09:13,407 --> 00:09:14,606
So does that corn!
193
00:09:14,608 --> 00:09:16,675
I've been walking in squares!
194
00:09:18,779 --> 00:09:22,147
Hmm... Maybe if I lay down a popcorn trail,
195
00:09:22,149 --> 00:09:24,049
I can see if I've retraced my steps.
196
00:09:24,051 --> 00:09:26,427
It worked for Hansel and Pretzel, so...
197
00:09:26,719 --> 00:09:28,019
Who am I talking to?
198
00:09:28,021 --> 00:09:30,322
Or thinking to?
199
00:09:33,259 --> 00:09:37,896
You only have ten bags left to sell,
then it's maze time.
200
00:09:37,898 --> 00:09:39,364
Yeah, super exciting.
201
00:09:41,100 --> 00:09:44,436
14 bucks a bag?
No one's going to buy it at that price.
202
00:09:44,438 --> 00:09:47,038
Sure they will. It's for Charity.
203
00:09:47,040 --> 00:09:48,907
What do you got against her, anyway?
204
00:09:48,909 --> 00:09:50,275
Two bags of popcorn, please.
205
00:09:50,277 --> 00:09:53,211
You might want to rethink that.
It's 14 bucks a bag.
206
00:09:53,213 --> 00:09:55,647
I need more. It's fascinating.
207
00:09:55,649 --> 00:09:57,949
It's both putrid and delicious.
208
00:09:57,951 --> 00:10:00,752
It's putri-cious, and for Charity.
209
00:10:00,754 --> 00:10:04,723
So it's putriciousharity.
Ah, no, that's forcing it.
210
00:10:04,725 --> 00:10:07,192
Sorry, Won. You've had four bags already.
211
00:10:07,194 --> 00:10:11,396
That's 600% of your daily sodium.
You're cut off.
212
00:10:11,398 --> 00:10:14,075
Popcorn's a gateway snack. Sad.
213
00:10:16,470 --> 00:10:18,603
And now he's interpretive dancing.
214
00:10:18,605 --> 00:10:21,673
We need to find a way to attract customers.
215
00:10:22,643 --> 00:10:25,210
Come on down to O and E's Parking.
216
00:10:25,212 --> 00:10:28,146
At O and E's, we believe in three things...
217
00:10:28,148 --> 00:10:29,381
good service,
218
00:10:29,383 --> 00:10:30,949
quality parking spots...
219
00:10:30,951 --> 00:10:33,218
And no horny hip-grinding.
220
00:10:33,220 --> 00:10:37,055
♪ Parking is a breeze at O and E's ♪
221
00:10:37,057 --> 00:10:39,791
And Davis is an ass.
222
00:10:39,793 --> 00:10:43,295
I don't know.
A TV commercial's kinda pricey.
223
00:10:43,297 --> 00:10:45,330
Let's just steal his whistle.
224
00:10:47,701 --> 00:10:50,001
Hmm... I'm bored just looking at it,
225
00:10:50,003 --> 00:10:52,871
but I'll go through, as long as I can...
226
00:10:52,873 --> 00:10:53,905
bring some company?
227
00:10:53,907 --> 00:10:56,575
- Sorry, Morton, not gonna...
- She'd love to go!
228
00:10:56,577 --> 00:10:59,144
You told me to back off,
229
00:10:59,146 --> 00:11:01,613
which I have no problem doing whatsoever.
230
00:11:01,615 --> 00:11:04,249
He might bail on doing my maze.
231
00:11:04,251 --> 00:11:06,685
Please, do me this one favour.
232
00:11:06,687 --> 00:11:09,921
Fine, I'll give him an escort.
233
00:11:09,923 --> 00:11:14,225
- Ooh, escort.
- Police escort, creepo.
234
00:11:14,227 --> 00:11:16,528
Stay two metres ahead of me at all times.
235
00:11:16,530 --> 00:11:18,763
Davis, sorry to interrupt.
236
00:11:18,765 --> 00:11:21,066
Could you show me the hip thing you do?
237
00:11:21,068 --> 00:11:24,202
Ooh, someone has a thirst for the thrust.
238
00:11:24,204 --> 00:11:27,472
Actually, I'm thinking it
might be good for my sciatica.
239
00:11:27,474 --> 00:11:30,308
Okay, first you plant your foot,
240
00:11:30,310 --> 00:11:33,211
then turn and thrust. Turn.
241
00:11:33,213 --> 00:11:34,079
Thrust.
242
00:11:34,081 --> 00:11:35,780
Turn...
243
00:11:35,782 --> 00:11:37,882
- Thrust.
- Thank you.
244
00:11:39,286 --> 00:11:41,019
All right, hold your...
245
00:11:41,021 --> 00:11:44,089
Wha...? My whistle!
246
00:11:46,159 --> 00:11:48,828
Left, left, left, and... Right.
247
00:11:48,894 --> 00:11:51,129
How the heck are you
going through this so fast?
248
00:11:51,131 --> 00:11:53,765
Oh, uh... my whole body is in tune
249
00:11:53,767 --> 00:11:56,368
with the longitude and
latitude of the Earth.
250
00:11:56,370 --> 00:11:59,304
- Pretty sexy, huh?
- Not even a little bit.
251
00:11:59,306 --> 00:12:01,206
Right. Left, right...
252
00:12:01,208 --> 00:12:03,541
What are you mumbling?
253
00:12:04,410 --> 00:12:05,877
Sun's getting low.
254
00:12:05,879 --> 00:12:06,829
Time's running out to
255
00:12:06,830 --> 00:12:09,447
- go through the maze.
- It is? Oh, too bad,
256
00:12:09,449 --> 00:12:10,849
there's still popcorn to sell.
257
00:12:10,851 --> 00:12:13,318
Yeah, about that? I'm buying the rest.
258
00:12:13,320 --> 00:12:15,353
But... but... One bag per person.
259
00:12:15,355 --> 00:12:16,688
Way ahead of you.
260
00:12:18,090 --> 00:12:20,191
There. One bag.
261
00:12:20,193 --> 00:12:23,461
That's... against the rules...
of capitalism.
262
00:12:23,463 --> 00:12:24,329
What the hell, Brent?
263
00:12:24,331 --> 00:12:27,165
Why won't you go through the maze with me?
264
00:12:27,167 --> 00:12:28,967
Okay, I didn't want to tell you
265
00:12:28,969 --> 00:12:31,169
because I knew you'd
make a big deal out of it,
266
00:12:31,171 --> 00:12:34,339
but I'm absolutely, paralyzingly,
267
00:12:34,341 --> 00:12:37,876
terrified of corn, in field format.
268
00:12:37,878 --> 00:12:40,745
- Seriously? Why?
- Why?
269
00:12:40,846 --> 00:12:43,114
Nothing good happens in a corn field.
270
00:12:43,116 --> 00:12:46,618
They're teeming with horrors.
"A," cob-goblins.
271
00:12:46,620 --> 00:12:50,255
- You mean hobgoblins?
- You city people are so naive.
272
00:12:50,257 --> 00:12:53,937
"B," scarecrows come to life at night.
That's science.
273
00:12:53,972 --> 00:12:56,394
"C," bugs and rats and stuff.
274
00:12:56,396 --> 00:12:58,530
That could be "C," "D," and "E".
275
00:12:58,532 --> 00:13:01,636
"W," candy corn. Gross.
276
00:13:01,667 --> 00:13:03,234
It's why kids egg houses on Halloween.
277
00:13:03,236 --> 00:13:06,438
- "X"...
- Okay, half your reasons
278
00:13:06,440 --> 00:13:08,973
are barely corn-related.
279
00:13:08,975 --> 00:13:10,742
They're... corn adjacent.
280
00:13:10,744 --> 00:13:13,741
Well, here's a hard corn fact. Last night,
281
00:13:13,776 --> 00:13:16,715
people saw mysterious lights
over this very field.
282
00:13:16,717 --> 00:13:18,017
You know what that means?
283
00:13:18,018 --> 00:13:20,418
Aliens! Corn-loving aliens.
284
00:13:20,420 --> 00:13:23,188
All right, fine! I'll go by myself.
285
00:13:23,190 --> 00:13:24,989
No big deal.
286
00:13:26,526 --> 00:13:29,761
You stole my whistle! Sciatica, my ass!
287
00:13:29,763 --> 00:13:31,963
That is generally where it starts.
288
00:13:31,965 --> 00:13:34,566
- Back off, Hot Pants!
- All right, cool it.
289
00:13:34,568 --> 00:13:38,203
You three are an embarrassment
to corn festivals everywhere.
290
00:13:38,205 --> 00:13:40,171
Stop making such a big deal out of this.
291
00:13:40,173 --> 00:13:42,173
People know how to park their cars.
292
00:13:42,175 --> 00:13:44,776
Your job is just pointless busy work.
293
00:13:44,778 --> 00:13:47,545
- What?
- I mean, well done.
294
00:13:47,547 --> 00:13:51,616
Take the rest of the day off.
Go enjoy the maze.
295
00:13:52,418 --> 00:13:55,186
Okay... left, right...
296
00:13:55,188 --> 00:13:56,188
Corn...
297
00:13:56,189 --> 00:13:57,652
- Left.
- Corn.
298
00:13:57,687 --> 00:13:58,757
- Right.
- Corn.
299
00:13:58,759 --> 00:14:01,693
- Wanda!
- Wow, that was fast.
300
00:14:01,695 --> 00:14:03,762
Under four minutes. Easy.
301
00:14:03,764 --> 00:14:07,432
Easy? Not even... mildly challenging?
302
00:14:07,434 --> 00:14:11,269
It was both simple and corny.
303
00:14:13,073 --> 00:14:16,674
I am a delight.
Bottom line, you can't join the club.
304
00:14:16,676 --> 00:14:20,178
You'd have to be a pretty dull
knife to get stuck in there.
305
00:14:20,180 --> 00:14:22,113
I'm gonna die in here.
306
00:14:22,115 --> 00:14:24,583
So much corn. Wait...
307
00:14:24,584 --> 00:14:27,185
I think the stalks are talking to me.
308
00:14:27,187 --> 00:14:30,155
What's that? Build what and who will come?
309
00:14:32,591 --> 00:14:33,958
What? Hey!
310
00:14:33,960 --> 00:14:36,427
S-Stop that! Hey! Shoo! Shoo! Shoo!
311
00:14:37,297 --> 00:14:40,098
Oh, ho, ho, tough little guy, huh?
312
00:14:40,100 --> 00:14:43,101
Come on, give it your best shot.
313
00:14:43,403 --> 00:14:45,844
Ah! Oh!
314
00:14:46,138 --> 00:14:47,405
That's gonna stink.
315
00:14:48,375 --> 00:14:51,141
Yup, there it is.
316
00:14:54,287 --> 00:14:56,821
He never hesitated once.
317
00:14:56,823 --> 00:14:59,958
- No wrong turns. Nothing.
- I get it!
318
00:14:59,960 --> 00:15:01,359
He made my maze his bitch.
319
00:15:01,361 --> 00:15:03,695
I worked on it for months.
320
00:15:03,697 --> 00:15:06,332
It's weird. I saw the lame maze another
321
00:15:06,333 --> 00:15:08,967
designer submitted last
year, and they got in.
322
00:15:08,969 --> 00:15:12,203
- You know what this means.
- There's something fishy going on.
323
00:15:12,205 --> 00:15:16,541
No, Myron is a genius. A sexy genius.
324
00:15:16,543 --> 00:15:17,623
If you tore open his skull,
325
00:15:17,647 --> 00:15:20,411
you'd probably find
a six-pack on his hippocampus.
326
00:15:20,413 --> 00:15:22,013
I don't know what that is,
327
00:15:22,015 --> 00:15:24,349
but I like the idea
of his skull being opened.
328
00:15:27,286 --> 00:15:28,887
I know you guys took my whistle.
329
00:15:28,889 --> 00:15:31,256
You can't question us without our lawyer.
330
00:15:31,258 --> 00:15:33,958
And Charity hasn't even started college yet.
331
00:15:33,960 --> 00:15:37,195
Can we just get past this
and enjoy the maze?
332
00:15:37,197 --> 00:15:40,465
- This way.
- I know you're mocking me,
333
00:15:40,467 --> 00:15:42,867
but I can't deny your technique.
334
00:15:45,538 --> 00:15:48,106
Why am I tasting coriander?
335
00:15:49,402 --> 00:15:50,642
Lacey?
336
00:15:50,644 --> 00:15:52,410
Brent! I need your help.
337
00:15:52,412 --> 00:15:55,013
I'm at the entrance of the corn maze,
and I tripped.
338
00:15:55,015 --> 00:15:57,182
- I think I broke my ankle.
- Oh, no.
339
00:15:57,183 --> 00:16:00,385
See? You're barely in the corn,
and bad stuff is already...
340
00:16:00,387 --> 00:16:01,753
Shut up and help!
341
00:16:03,256 --> 00:16:04,989
Lacey, where are you?
342
00:16:04,991 --> 00:16:06,291
I'm in here!
343
00:16:07,326 --> 00:16:10,929
Are you okay? Should you be
standing on broken ankles?
344
00:16:10,931 --> 00:16:13,031
I'm not. Nothing's broken.
345
00:16:13,033 --> 00:16:14,566
More importantly,
346
00:16:14,568 --> 00:16:17,302
- look where you are.
- Oh, no.
347
00:16:17,304 --> 00:16:21,172
- You're making a big deal.
- No, I'm helping.
348
00:16:21,174 --> 00:16:25,243
Look, it's just corn and blue sky.
349
00:16:25,245 --> 00:16:28,079
One step in, still okay...
350
00:16:28,081 --> 00:16:31,182
Come on. Who's a big boy?
351
00:16:31,184 --> 00:16:34,218
I'm a big boy,
but I'm still keeping an eye out
352
00:16:34,220 --> 00:16:36,554
for cob-goblins, and evil children.
353
00:16:36,556 --> 00:16:39,424
If I see one Malachai, I'm outta here.
354
00:16:40,360 --> 00:16:43,227
This is stupid. I liked Hank's mazes better.
355
00:16:43,229 --> 00:16:45,463
Three minutes, and you're out the other side
356
00:16:45,465 --> 00:16:46,965
getting lit up on corn hooch.
357
00:16:46,967 --> 00:16:50,268
All we have to do
is go back the way we came.
358
00:16:50,270 --> 00:16:53,137
Uh... which way did we come?
359
00:16:53,139 --> 00:16:55,506
Nice work. Now we're lost.
360
00:16:55,508 --> 00:16:59,877
- Any other suggestions, pointy pelvis?
- Here's one.
361
00:17:00,880 --> 00:17:03,081
My whistle! I knew you took it.
362
00:17:05,285 --> 00:17:07,251
- I hear a whistle.
- Follow the sound!
363
00:17:07,253 --> 00:17:08,753
Over here!
364
00:17:08,755 --> 00:17:11,422
See? Help's on the way.
365
00:17:11,424 --> 00:17:15,526
- Oh. So, you're lost too?
- We thought you were rescuing us.
366
00:17:15,528 --> 00:17:19,430
Now we're all lost together.
Like Blue Rodeo.
367
00:17:19,833 --> 00:17:21,366
Aw, this is hopeless.
368
00:17:21,368 --> 00:17:24,502
I better sit down before things get worse.
369
00:17:26,405 --> 00:17:27,772
Huh?
370
00:17:27,774 --> 00:17:28,840
Oh, oh...
371
00:17:28,842 --> 00:17:30,274
Ah! Oh! Ah!
372
00:17:30,276 --> 00:17:31,142
Ants!
373
00:17:31,144 --> 00:17:33,378
Ants! Oh, this is worse!
374
00:17:33,380 --> 00:17:35,279
So much worse!
375
00:17:38,351 --> 00:17:40,618
Isn't this great?
376
00:17:40,620 --> 00:17:45,556
Nothing but fresh air, clear skies,
and clean... dirt.
377
00:17:45,558 --> 00:17:48,477
Yeah, it's sorta okay. I mean, the whistle
378
00:17:48,478 --> 00:17:50,429
freaked me out a bit, but...
379
00:17:50,430 --> 00:17:53,398
- Why'd you stop?
- I'm not sure where to go.
380
00:17:53,400 --> 00:17:56,467
But whoo-hoo!
That's the fun part about a maze.
381
00:17:56,469 --> 00:17:58,202
Sometimes you lose yourself, and...
382
00:17:58,204 --> 00:18:01,305
Lose yourself? If you're lost, we're lost!
383
00:18:01,307 --> 00:18:02,440
It'll be dark soon!
384
00:18:02,442 --> 00:18:05,110
Whoa-ho-ho, big boy. Big boy...
385
00:18:05,111 --> 00:18:06,644
there's no reason to panic.
386
00:18:06,646 --> 00:18:09,580
No, panic is good.
It releases adrenaline, which...
387
00:18:11,084 --> 00:18:13,251
- What's that sound?
- What's that smell?
388
00:18:14,454 --> 00:18:15,386
Cob-goblin!
389
00:18:17,257 --> 00:18:18,856
Whoa!
390
00:18:20,292 --> 00:18:21,993
- Hey, Melvin.
- Myron.
391
00:18:21,995 --> 00:18:25,530
Marvin. I kind of enjoyed
going through the maze today.
392
00:18:25,532 --> 00:18:27,265
Let me put my digits in your phone,
393
00:18:27,267 --> 00:18:30,201
- and we'll do it again sometime.
- Your digits?
394
00:18:30,203 --> 00:18:31,636
A girl's number? A real live girl?
395
00:18:31,638 --> 00:18:34,372
I mean, get in line, but okay.
396
00:18:34,374 --> 00:18:36,240
Whatever. Sure.
397
00:18:36,242 --> 00:18:37,775
Wait, what are you doing?
398
00:18:37,777 --> 00:18:41,179
Just browsing through your... A-ha!
399
00:18:42,114 --> 00:18:43,581
So now what do we do?
400
00:18:43,583 --> 00:18:45,850
Yeah, how do we get out of here?
401
00:18:45,852 --> 00:18:47,719
I don't know, it's not my whistle.
402
00:18:47,721 --> 00:18:49,454
Ask nimble knickers.
403
00:18:54,494 --> 00:18:57,997
Everyone! Into Brent's corn hole!
404
00:18:58,397 --> 00:19:01,432
You know what I mean. Grow up.
405
00:19:04,838 --> 00:19:08,573
- So, you think you see a corn goblin...
- Cob-goblin.
406
00:19:08,575 --> 00:19:10,976
...and then you just run
off and leave me there!
407
00:19:10,977 --> 00:19:13,644
Those are the rules of corn field survival.
408
00:19:13,646 --> 00:19:15,513
You don't believe in cob-goblins.
409
00:19:15,515 --> 00:19:17,948
Non-believers get eaten first. Look it up.
410
00:19:17,983 --> 00:19:20,952
That's an aerial photo of my maze.
411
00:19:20,954 --> 00:19:23,020
Myron blew into town last night
412
00:19:23,022 --> 00:19:25,857
and used a drone to take an overhead shot.
413
00:19:25,859 --> 00:19:28,860
He had the whole thing memorized beforehand.
414
00:19:28,862 --> 00:19:30,461
That also explains the calls
415
00:19:30,463 --> 00:19:32,697
about strange lights over the corn field.
416
00:19:32,699 --> 00:19:35,299
- Why would you do that?
- Because...
417
00:19:35,301 --> 00:19:37,168
no girls allowed in our club!
418
00:19:37,170 --> 00:19:40,972
- How old are you?
- 33... and three quarters.
419
00:19:40,974 --> 00:19:43,374
- This'll never hold up in court.
- I'm not arresting you,
420
00:19:43,376 --> 00:19:46,844
but I do have your mother's
phone number right here...
421
00:19:46,846 --> 00:19:47,812
Please don't call my mom!
422
00:19:47,814 --> 00:19:50,681
She thinks I'm at a
sleepover at Toby's house.
423
00:19:50,683 --> 00:19:53,484
Well, then I guess you'll have
to admit Wanda into your club.
424
00:19:53,486 --> 00:19:56,821
I don't want to join that stupid club.
I'm starting my own club.
425
00:19:56,823 --> 00:19:58,723
It's called Wedgie Wizards.
426
00:19:58,725 --> 00:20:00,458
H'yah!
427
00:20:00,460 --> 00:20:05,396
Well, I see I've overstayed my
welcome. I'll be leaving now.
428
00:20:08,301 --> 00:20:11,435
- Okay, thanks.
- Just doing my job,
429
00:20:11,437 --> 00:20:13,905
like you so condescendingly told me to.
430
00:20:13,907 --> 00:20:15,706
I should give you a wedgie.
431
00:20:15,708 --> 00:20:19,610
- You can't wedgie what's not there.
- You mean you're not...?
432
00:20:19,612 --> 00:20:22,380
Aah! Gross!
433
00:20:26,188 --> 00:20:28,055
Well, I heard you got fired, Wanda.
434
00:20:28,057 --> 00:20:30,157
I guess we're both social piranhas.
435
00:20:30,159 --> 00:20:32,526
I didn't get fired.
They nixed the corn maze.
436
00:20:32,528 --> 00:20:35,062
Turns out people just
like drinking in a field...
437
00:20:35,064 --> 00:20:36,964
so next year we're harvesting the corn
438
00:20:36,966 --> 00:20:39,166
- and putting up a beer tent.
- Beer tent?
439
00:20:39,168 --> 00:20:40,134
Count me out.
440
00:20:40,136 --> 00:20:42,737
Cob-goblins are scary enough
when they're sober.
441
00:20:42,738 --> 00:20:44,238
Don't you want to help Charity?
442
00:20:44,240 --> 00:20:47,009
- No need, she got a scholarship.
- Good thing, too.
443
00:20:47,044 --> 00:20:49,710
We only raised enough for half a textbook.
444
00:20:49,712 --> 00:20:51,645
Did someone say "dancing"?
445
00:20:51,647 --> 00:20:54,181
- No.
- Could someone say "dancing"?
446
00:20:54,183 --> 00:20:55,215
What the hell.
447
00:20:55,217 --> 00:20:58,118
- Dancing.
- All right!
448
00:20:59,088 --> 00:21:00,955
Ooh!
449
00:21:06,819 --> 00:21:08,819
♪ I don't know ♪
450
00:21:08,821 --> 00:21:12,490
♪ The same things you don't know ♪
451
00:21:14,559 --> 00:21:16,694
♪ I don't know ♪
452
00:21:16,696 --> 00:21:20,155
♪ I just... don't know ♪
453
00:21:21,767 --> 00:21:23,834
♪ Ooh... ♪
454
00:21:23,836 --> 00:21:25,803
♪ It's a great big place ♪
455
00:21:25,805 --> 00:21:27,505
♪ Ooh... ♪
456
00:21:27,507 --> 00:21:29,674
♪ Full of nothin' but space ♪
457
00:21:29,676 --> 00:21:31,809
♪ Ooh... ♪
458
00:21:31,811 --> 00:21:33,844
♪ And it's my happy place ♪
459
00:21:33,846 --> 00:21:35,959
♪ I don't know ♪
34593
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