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1
00:00:10,277 --> 00:00:13,278
This is what they call
"slightly irregular"?
2
00:00:15,649 --> 00:00:17,282
Fran.
Yeah, honey?
3
00:00:17,351 --> 00:00:18,917
Fran, does it show yet?
4
00:00:18,986 --> 00:00:20,652
Wait a second.
5
00:00:20,720 --> 00:00:22,954
What are you talking about?
Does what show?
6
00:00:23,023 --> 00:00:25,723
That I'll be 16 next week?
Oh, oh.
7
00:00:25,792 --> 00:00:28,660
Oh, honey. Gee,
I felt just like my mother
8
00:00:28,728 --> 00:00:32,664
when I told her I lost
my virgin... airline tickets.
9
00:00:32,732 --> 00:00:34,366
Well, did they
give you another one?
10
00:00:34,435 --> 00:00:36,435
Oh, no, honey,
11
00:00:36,503 --> 00:00:39,071
when you lose that ticket,
it's non-refundable.
12
00:00:40,907 --> 00:00:42,840
Unless you get engaged
to Prince Charles,
13
00:00:42,909 --> 00:00:45,077
and then it
miraculously reappears.
14
00:00:47,080 --> 00:00:50,682
Oh, Maggie, we gotta plan
something special for your sweet 16.
15
00:00:50,751 --> 00:00:54,152
You know, with my panache and
your father's check book, we could...
16
00:00:54,221 --> 00:00:55,721
We could be two chicks in Aruba.
17
00:00:55,789 --> 00:00:57,789
That's what we could be.
18
00:00:57,858 --> 00:01:00,692
Well, Dad hasn't said
anything about my party.
19
00:01:00,761 --> 00:01:02,327
All he does is pinch my cheek
20
00:01:02,396 --> 00:01:06,365
and call me his almost grown-up
little girl with this lame grin.
21
00:01:09,836 --> 00:01:14,739
There she is, my almost
grown-up little girl.
22
00:01:14,808 --> 00:01:17,009
Oh, I can't believe how
big you've gotten already.
23
00:01:17,077 --> 00:01:18,576
You know, it only
seems like yesterday
24
00:01:18,645 --> 00:01:20,712
I was putting you
on Mr. Potty.
25
00:01:22,415 --> 00:01:24,749
Dad, you're making me vomit.
26
00:01:24,818 --> 00:01:26,952
Do you remember
our favorite game?
27
00:01:27,020 --> 00:01:30,788
Here comes Mr. Snake.
Hello.
28
00:01:30,858 --> 00:01:34,992
That's funny. That was my
ex-boyfriend Danny's favorite game, too.
29
00:01:36,796 --> 00:01:39,564
You know, Dad,
for Tiffany's sweet 16,
30
00:01:39,633 --> 00:01:42,334
her dad flew all of her
friends to South Africa,
31
00:01:42,402 --> 00:01:44,536
and he even got
Whitney Houston to sing.
32
00:01:44,604 --> 00:01:47,705
Okay. If Maggie gets a
sweet 16, I'd like a bar mitzvah.
33
00:01:47,774 --> 00:01:49,274
Brighton, you're not Jewish.
34
00:01:49,343 --> 00:01:51,075
You know, a sizable donation
35
00:01:51,145 --> 00:01:53,211
to Temple Emanu-El
could take care of that.
36
00:01:54,381 --> 00:01:56,047
All right, let's go, Grace.
37
00:01:56,116 --> 00:01:59,751
All right, Margaret, how does
this sound for your sweet 16?
38
00:01:59,819 --> 00:02:02,387
World famous,
exquisitely decorated,
39
00:02:02,456 --> 00:02:04,088
visited by royalty...
40
00:02:04,891 --> 00:02:06,558
Leonard's of Great Neck?
41
00:02:06,627 --> 00:02:10,662
Oh, they make a shrimp
scampi made out of scrod...
42
00:02:12,432 --> 00:02:16,301
Miss Fine, what royalty would
you see at Leonard's of Great Neck?
43
00:02:16,370 --> 00:02:18,403
Well, excuse me,
44
00:02:18,472 --> 00:02:20,004
at my cousin Merril's wedding,
45
00:02:20,073 --> 00:02:21,806
the ballroom right next door?
46
00:02:21,875 --> 00:02:23,941
Prince Matchabelli convention.
47
00:02:25,479 --> 00:02:27,245
Who looks stupid now?
48
00:02:29,015 --> 00:02:31,383
Margaret,
I have booked the solarium
49
00:02:31,452 --> 00:02:33,118
at the Guggenheim Museum.
50
00:02:33,187 --> 00:02:35,753
Gloria Vanderbilt
just had a big party there.
51
00:02:35,822 --> 00:02:37,422
Bobby Short played the piano.
52
00:02:37,491 --> 00:02:39,057
Yeah, I think I might be able to
53
00:02:39,126 --> 00:02:41,559
pull a few strings, hmm?
54
00:02:41,628 --> 00:02:43,595
You like Itzhak Perlman?
55
00:02:43,664 --> 00:02:45,497
[FRAN AND MAGGIE EXCLAIMING]
56
00:02:46,366 --> 00:02:48,566
Let's just hope he's in town.
57
00:02:51,572 --> 00:02:55,106
Oh, Fran, what are the odds
of me dying in my sleep tonight?
58
00:02:55,175 --> 00:02:57,742
Not good enough.
59
00:02:57,811 --> 00:03:00,546
My party's going to be
so boring and stuffy.
60
00:03:00,614 --> 00:03:02,113
All my friends
are gonna hate it.
61
00:03:02,182 --> 00:03:05,216
Oh, don't worry, sweetie.
No one will come.
62
00:03:09,089 --> 00:03:11,856
♪ She was working in a
bridal shop in Flushing, Queens
63
00:03:11,925 --> 00:03:13,336
♪ 'Til her boyfriend
kicked her out
64
00:03:13,360 --> 00:03:15,027
♪ in one of those
crushing scenes
65
00:03:15,095 --> 00:03:16,861
♪ What was she to do?
Where was she to go?
66
00:03:16,930 --> 00:03:20,064
♪ She was out on her fanny
67
00:03:20,133 --> 00:03:22,801
♪ So over the bridge from
Flushing to the Sheffield's door
68
00:03:22,870 --> 00:03:25,303
♪ She was there to sell
makeup, but the father saw more
69
00:03:25,372 --> 00:03:27,539
♪ She had style! She
had flair! She was there!
70
00:03:27,608 --> 00:03:30,908
♪ That's how
she became the nanny!
71
00:03:30,978 --> 00:03:33,878
♪ Who would have guessed
that the girl we've described
72
00:03:33,947 --> 00:03:36,181
♪ was just exactly what
the doctor prescribed?
73
00:03:36,249 --> 00:03:37,915
♪ Now the father
finds her beguiling
74
00:03:37,984 --> 00:03:39,251
♪ Watch out, C.C.!
75
00:03:39,320 --> 00:03:40,597
♪ And the kids
are actually smiling
76
00:03:40,621 --> 00:03:42,020
♪ Such joie de vivre!
77
00:03:42,089 --> 00:03:47,058
♪ She's the lady in red when
everybody else is wearing tan
78
00:03:47,127 --> 00:03:49,228
♪ The flashy girl
from Flushing
79
00:03:49,296 --> 00:03:51,563
♪ The nanny named Fran! ♪
80
00:03:55,769 --> 00:03:57,368
Well? Well?
What did they say?
81
00:03:57,437 --> 00:04:01,573
The sweet 16 is all
set at the Guggenheim.
82
00:04:01,641 --> 00:04:04,409
The curator and I were
in the same sorority.
83
00:04:04,478 --> 00:04:05,843
Delta Felta Guy?
84
00:04:09,683 --> 00:04:11,783
C.C., you are amazing.
85
00:04:11,852 --> 00:04:13,051
I don't know how you do it.
86
00:04:13,120 --> 00:04:16,388
Oh, Maxwell, stop.
87
00:04:16,456 --> 00:04:20,058
You know I adore the children
like they were my very own.
88
00:04:20,127 --> 00:04:21,493
Especially,
89
00:04:24,331 --> 00:04:26,164
you know, the big one.
90
00:04:27,734 --> 00:04:29,868
Okay. Now remember,
honey, be strong.
91
00:04:29,936 --> 00:04:31,102
We gotta stick together.
92
00:04:31,170 --> 00:04:33,004
He can't say no
to the both of us.
93
00:04:33,072 --> 00:04:34,706
You ready?
Yeah.
94
00:04:34,775 --> 00:04:36,675
Okay.
95
00:04:36,744 --> 00:04:40,144
Mr. Sheffield, we have
something that we want to tell you.
96
00:04:40,213 --> 00:04:41,612
Mmm-hmm.
97
00:04:41,681 --> 00:04:43,949
We who?
Oh, me...
98
00:04:44,017 --> 00:04:45,617
Boy, I taught that kid too well.
99
00:04:47,087 --> 00:04:48,331
All right.
Now, don't get offended.
100
00:04:48,355 --> 00:04:49,821
I don't want to
hurt your feelings.
101
00:04:49,889 --> 00:04:51,890
You don't like the new
curtains in your room.
102
00:04:51,959 --> 00:04:54,292
Fine, we'll replace them.
103
00:04:54,361 --> 00:04:55,694
All right.
104
00:04:59,032 --> 00:05:00,331
Now what?
105
00:05:00,400 --> 00:05:02,601
Well, there is one other thing,
106
00:05:02,669 --> 00:05:05,770
you know, besides the wallpaper.
107
00:05:05,839 --> 00:05:08,251
Maggie hates the Guggenheim.
You're gonna have to cancel. Bye.
108
00:05:08,275 --> 00:05:10,608
What? Wait! Wait!
What are you talking about?
109
00:05:10,677 --> 00:05:13,078
The Guggenheim's a
perfect place for the party.
110
00:05:13,146 --> 00:05:16,848
Just picture it. Margaret
coming down that grand foyer,
111
00:05:16,917 --> 00:05:20,585
long white gloves,
pink satin gown.
112
00:05:20,653 --> 00:05:22,653
Well,
while Cathy adores a minuet
113
00:05:22,722 --> 00:05:25,089
at Ballets Russes
and crepes suzette,
114
00:05:25,158 --> 00:05:27,959
our Patty likes
to rock 'n' roll.
115
00:05:28,028 --> 00:05:31,062
So you're saying I have to
come up with another idea, hmm?
116
00:05:31,131 --> 00:05:35,400
Oh, well, you're so close.
117
00:05:35,469 --> 00:05:37,969
Actually, I have to come
up with another idea.
118
00:05:38,038 --> 00:05:40,138
She wants me
to take over from here.
119
00:05:40,207 --> 00:05:43,074
Maxwell, I bent over
backwards to get the museum.
120
00:05:43,143 --> 00:05:44,876
Well, it wouldn't
be the first time.
121
00:05:49,783 --> 00:05:50,882
All right, Miss Fine.
122
00:05:50,950 --> 00:05:52,850
Let's just cut to the chase,
shall we?
123
00:05:52,919 --> 00:05:56,421
Where have you already decided
to have my daughter's party?
124
00:05:56,490 --> 00:05:58,356
Tanta Freida's.
125
00:05:58,425 --> 00:06:01,058
What on earth is a Tanta Frito?
126
00:06:01,127 --> 00:06:03,361
Not Frito. Freida.
127
00:06:04,565 --> 00:06:06,898
My father's sister owns
a nightclub in Queens.
128
00:06:06,966 --> 00:06:10,101
Oh, well, that sounds
dreadful, Miss Fine.
129
00:06:10,170 --> 00:06:12,604
No. Actually,
it's gorgeous.
130
00:06:12,672 --> 00:06:15,207
It used to be a restaurant,
but it went out of business.
131
00:06:15,275 --> 00:06:17,642
Whose bright idea it was
to open up a Tony Roma's
132
00:06:17,711 --> 00:06:20,879
in a Hasidic neighborhood,
I'll never know.
133
00:06:25,285 --> 00:06:29,421
Oh, boy, does this
bring back memories.
134
00:06:29,489 --> 00:06:33,391
I used to hang out at this
bar, wear really short skirts
135
00:06:33,460 --> 00:06:38,496
and big teased-up hair
and way too much makeup on.
136
00:06:40,801 --> 00:06:42,434
Oh, well, times change.
137
00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:47,172
Oh, boy,
I would have given anything
138
00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:49,407
to have my sweet 16 party here.
139
00:06:49,476 --> 00:06:51,209
Why?
140
00:06:51,278 --> 00:06:53,611
Oh. I mean, why didn't you?
141
00:06:53,680 --> 00:06:55,713
'Cause my mother
wouldn't let me.
142
00:06:55,782 --> 00:06:57,048
She and Freida had a big fight,
143
00:06:57,117 --> 00:07:00,185
and they haven't
talked since 1979.
144
00:07:00,254 --> 00:07:01,686
Oh, that must be awful.
145
00:07:01,755 --> 00:07:03,087
Oh, it's destroying them.
146
00:07:03,157 --> 00:07:04,456
They both gained 40 pounds,
147
00:07:04,525 --> 00:07:07,759
and they can't even rub it
in each other's faces.
148
00:07:07,827 --> 00:07:09,994
Hello!
149
00:07:11,031 --> 00:07:14,366
Watch this.
Health inspector!
150
00:07:14,434 --> 00:07:16,234
FREIDA: Just one moment.
151
00:07:21,174 --> 00:07:22,674
There you go.
152
00:07:23,476 --> 00:07:25,644
Franny, it's you!
153
00:07:25,712 --> 00:07:27,478
Hi.
Hi, Aunt Freida.
154
00:07:31,118 --> 00:07:34,185
Oh, you must be Maggie.
You're too thin.
155
00:07:36,389 --> 00:07:37,689
So how's your father?
156
00:07:37,758 --> 00:07:40,358
Oh, he's great. So's Ma.
157
00:07:40,426 --> 00:07:42,426
Oh, she still alive?
158
00:07:43,496 --> 00:07:45,029
Be nice.
159
00:07:45,098 --> 00:07:47,164
Maggie, you know,
Aunt Freida's a celebrity.
160
00:07:47,233 --> 00:07:49,400
She once sang
on Merv Griffin's show.
161
00:07:49,469 --> 00:07:51,102
Don't embarrass me.
162
00:07:51,905 --> 00:07:52,905
Twice.
163
00:07:54,808 --> 00:07:56,507
Now I work here.
164
00:07:56,577 --> 00:07:58,843
When you're a woman alone,
you gotta earn a living.
165
00:07:58,912 --> 00:08:00,745
Freida buried four husbands.
166
00:08:00,814 --> 00:08:04,716
The perpetual care alone
is enough to choke a horse.
167
00:08:04,784 --> 00:08:06,584
At least I got them all
in one plot.
168
00:08:06,653 --> 00:08:09,020
So holy days, I'm in, I'm out.
169
00:08:13,994 --> 00:08:17,228
So talk to me.
You like?
170
00:08:17,297 --> 00:08:20,498
Fran, let's not completely rule
out the Guggenheim. Okay?
171
00:08:20,567 --> 00:08:25,537
Oh, honey, honey, I think
I can help you visualize.
172
00:08:25,605 --> 00:08:27,805
I once worked here
one summer when I was 15.
173
00:08:27,874 --> 00:08:30,308
[SHUSHING]
I'll lose my license.
174
00:08:30,377 --> 00:08:32,878
Freida, if you didn't lose
your license for waterbugs
175
00:08:32,946 --> 00:08:34,746
that could double as bouncers...
176
00:08:35,883 --> 00:08:37,949
[DISCO MUSIC PLAYING]
177
00:08:38,018 --> 00:08:39,484
Oh, now I get it.
178
00:08:39,552 --> 00:08:41,753
This is, like,
one of those discos.
179
00:08:41,821 --> 00:08:44,589
My party can be retro.
180
00:08:44,657 --> 00:08:46,391
Hey, Fran, maybe
we can even dress up
181
00:08:46,459 --> 00:08:47,893
like they did in the olden days.
182
00:08:47,961 --> 00:08:49,894
Yeah.
Did you save your stuff?
183
00:08:53,934 --> 00:08:56,101
No. When I transferred
from the Pinta
184
00:08:56,169 --> 00:08:59,237
to the Santa Maria,
they lost my luggage.
185
00:09:02,909 --> 00:09:05,176
Here. Here's a menu
so you can plan.
186
00:09:05,245 --> 00:09:06,844
Oh.
187
00:09:06,913 --> 00:09:10,014
Oh, you don't have the Tony
Manero marinara no more?
188
00:09:10,083 --> 00:09:11,083
No.
189
00:09:12,185 --> 00:09:14,652
Now it's the Ed Marinaro
marinara.
190
00:09:17,290 --> 00:09:18,956
Damn butterflies.
191
00:09:22,061 --> 00:09:24,095
Fran. Fran,
192
00:09:24,163 --> 00:09:26,063
if your mother and
your aunt don't get along,
193
00:09:26,132 --> 00:09:28,533
won't she be upset you're
planning a party here?
194
00:09:28,602 --> 00:09:32,303
Oh, honey, your sweet 16 has
nothing to do with my mother.
195
00:09:32,372 --> 00:09:35,005
What could she possibly
be upset about?
196
00:09:35,074 --> 00:09:37,475
Let me go.
I want to die.
197
00:09:39,045 --> 00:09:40,111
Ma!
198
00:09:40,179 --> 00:09:42,380
No, you are not my daughter.
199
00:09:42,449 --> 00:09:45,650
Well, then, who gave me
these thighs so I can shoot them.
200
00:09:47,520 --> 00:09:49,854
How could you do this to me?
201
00:09:49,923 --> 00:09:53,391
Ma, you have nothing
to do with this.
202
00:09:53,460 --> 00:09:58,162
I have nothing to do with my
daughter's boss's daughter's sweet 16?
203
00:10:00,333 --> 00:10:04,902
Fran, if you have the party
at Freida's, I am not going.
204
00:10:04,971 --> 00:10:07,472
Good, Ma.
'Cause you are not invited.
205
00:10:09,376 --> 00:10:10,775
Not invited?
206
00:10:12,379 --> 00:10:16,914
You hear this, Morty?
I'm not invited.
207
00:10:16,983 --> 00:10:20,852
Your sister got me blackballed
like she did at Hadassah.
208
00:10:24,024 --> 00:10:26,858
Ma, Freida didn't
get you blackballed.
209
00:10:26,926 --> 00:10:28,593
They threw you out of Hadassah
210
00:10:28,661 --> 00:10:31,963
because you donated cakes
with half the frosting licked off.
211
00:10:33,567 --> 00:10:36,000
I felt light-headed in the car.
212
00:10:40,340 --> 00:10:42,306
She has turned you against me.
213
00:10:42,375 --> 00:10:44,676
I don't want to know
from that woman.
214
00:10:45,712 --> 00:10:48,346
Is she bigger than me?
215
00:10:48,414 --> 00:10:51,916
Ma, this isn't about you
and Freida. It's about Maggie.
216
00:10:51,985 --> 00:10:54,586
It's her party,
and it's all about her.
217
00:10:54,654 --> 00:10:57,188
Fran...
Butt out, honey.
218
00:10:57,256 --> 00:11:00,391
Now, this stupid fight has
already ruined my graduation
219
00:11:00,460 --> 00:11:02,293
because I couldn't
have it at Freida's.
220
00:11:02,362 --> 00:11:03,928
And it was still lovely.
221
00:11:03,996 --> 00:11:05,797
We had it al dente.
222
00:11:05,865 --> 00:11:07,165
That means outdoors.
223
00:11:09,035 --> 00:11:11,068
Fran, that sounds sort of nice.
224
00:11:11,137 --> 00:11:14,172
Oh, yeah? We had it at
on Grandma Yetta's roof
225
00:11:14,240 --> 00:11:16,274
of her old building,
226
00:11:16,342 --> 00:11:19,210
middle of June, 114 degrees.
227
00:11:19,279 --> 00:11:21,780
People stayed all night.
228
00:11:21,848 --> 00:11:24,715
That's because
they were stuck to the tar.
229
00:11:27,487 --> 00:11:29,687
Oh, Fran, I really want
my party at Freida's,
230
00:11:29,756 --> 00:11:34,592
but not if it's gonna come
between you and your mom.
231
00:11:34,661 --> 00:11:38,396
Oh, I feel terrible. I'm
being so selfish. Yeah, well.
232
00:11:38,465 --> 00:11:41,899
You're only 16 once.
Never mind me.
233
00:11:41,968 --> 00:11:45,470
Have the party
wherever you want.
234
00:11:45,539 --> 00:11:47,405
Oh, Ma, you're just saying that
235
00:11:47,474 --> 00:11:49,206
to try and make me feel guilty.
236
00:11:49,275 --> 00:11:52,677
I'm not trying
to make you feel anything.
237
00:11:52,746 --> 00:11:55,045
Feel this.
Is this a lump here?
238
00:12:05,658 --> 00:12:08,259
Did you pick up Miss Margaret's
present for Mr. Sheffield?
239
00:12:08,328 --> 00:12:12,396
No. I spent the entire day driving
around Greenwich, Connecticut
240
00:12:12,465 --> 00:12:14,565
looking for that damn
jewelry store.
241
00:12:14,634 --> 00:12:16,074
Oh, did I say Greenwich,
Connecticut?
242
00:12:16,135 --> 00:12:18,035
I meant Greenwich Village.
243
00:12:19,739 --> 00:12:23,073
That's 10 minutes away,
you boob.
244
00:12:23,142 --> 00:12:25,309
Well, you'd better
hurry before they close.
245
00:12:25,378 --> 00:12:26,944
Oh, this is ridiculous.
246
00:12:27,013 --> 00:12:30,014
I don't know why that
stupid store doesn't deliver.
247
00:12:31,050 --> 00:12:33,084
Oh, they do.
248
00:12:37,056 --> 00:12:39,690
Oh, dear,
I wonder if I can catch her.
249
00:12:43,462 --> 00:12:45,196
[SOFTLY]
Oh, Miss Babcock...
250
00:12:49,836 --> 00:12:51,769
Miss Babcock.
251
00:12:55,175 --> 00:12:56,975
Oh, Niles,
252
00:12:57,043 --> 00:12:58,676
I'm gonna have to
tell Mr. Sheffield
253
00:12:58,745 --> 00:13:00,544
I'm backing out on the party.
254
00:13:00,613 --> 00:13:02,513
It's turning out to
be a real disaster.
255
00:13:02,582 --> 00:13:06,718
Oh, what's the matter? Can't get
the 10-foot hero through the door?
256
00:13:06,786 --> 00:13:09,254
You know, Niles, if you're
not part of the solution,
257
00:13:09,322 --> 00:13:11,256
you're my mother.
258
00:13:11,324 --> 00:13:15,025
No, I'm just gonna have to bite
the bullet and tell him the truth.
259
00:13:15,094 --> 00:13:16,994
Miss Fine.
260
00:13:17,063 --> 00:13:19,330
Oh. Burnt down?
261
00:13:19,398 --> 00:13:24,702
Oh, Aunt Freida, what are we
gonna do about Maggie's party?
262
00:13:24,770 --> 00:13:27,238
Well, I guess I'll just have
to see if Mr. Sheffield...
263
00:13:27,307 --> 00:13:28,906
[PHONE RINGING]
264
00:13:30,042 --> 00:13:33,745
Damn call waiting's so loud.
265
00:13:33,813 --> 00:13:38,616
I want the truth, and you
have exactly five seconds.
266
00:13:38,685 --> 00:13:40,196
Maggie wants to have it
at Aunt Freida's,
267
00:13:40,220 --> 00:13:41,597
and Aunt Freida said
that Ma can't come,
268
00:13:41,621 --> 00:13:42,765
and Ma said if I have it there,
269
00:13:42,789 --> 00:13:44,155
she'll never talk to me again.
270
00:13:44,223 --> 00:13:45,701
Oh, you're growing your
hair long. It's very sexy.
271
00:13:45,725 --> 00:13:47,358
Miss Fine!
272
00:13:49,295 --> 00:13:51,462
All right.
All right.
273
00:13:51,530 --> 00:13:53,798
If you'll just remain calm,
274
00:13:53,867 --> 00:13:56,300
I will answer
all of your questions.
275
00:13:56,369 --> 00:14:01,105
How did your mother get mixed
up in his daughter's sweet 16?
276
00:14:01,174 --> 00:14:04,609
I said I would answer
all of his questions.
277
00:14:05,978 --> 00:14:07,178
All right.
278
00:14:07,246 --> 00:14:08,780
If we can't have
the party there,
279
00:14:08,848 --> 00:14:10,981
then what do you
propose we do, hmm?
280
00:14:11,050 --> 00:14:13,951
Well, I was thinking
about the Guggenheim.
281
00:14:14,020 --> 00:14:16,321
What? It's gone.
I just canceled it.
282
00:14:16,389 --> 00:14:18,155
Oh, well,
what'd you do that for?
283
00:14:18,224 --> 00:14:21,626
It sounded so lovely, with the
grand foyer, long white gloves,
284
00:14:21,695 --> 00:14:24,195
pink satin gowns.
What are you looking for?
285
00:14:24,263 --> 00:14:27,899
The murder confession I wrote
the night I hired you.
286
00:14:27,967 --> 00:14:31,035
Margaret has her heart
set on Tanta Fajita's.
287
00:14:31,103 --> 00:14:33,203
So you better bloody well
make it happen.
288
00:14:36,442 --> 00:14:38,376
[DOORBELL RINGS]
289
00:14:39,044 --> 00:14:40,044
Hello.
290
00:14:40,680 --> 00:14:42,980
Wow!
291
00:14:43,048 --> 00:14:45,048
Get a load of this joint.
292
00:14:46,386 --> 00:14:47,852
If I knew it was so fancy,
293
00:14:47,921 --> 00:14:50,921
I would have slipped
on the stairs outside.
294
00:14:50,991 --> 00:14:53,591
Aunt Freida, you're late.
Where have you been?
295
00:14:53,659 --> 00:14:56,861
I wanted to talk to you
before she gets here.
296
00:14:56,929 --> 00:14:58,029
Who?
297
00:14:58,098 --> 00:14:59,130
Hi.
298
00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:02,133
Her.
299
00:15:02,201 --> 00:15:04,101
What is she doing here?
What is she doing here?
300
00:15:04,170 --> 00:15:05,870
She invited me.
She invited me.
301
00:15:05,938 --> 00:15:07,750
You're not welcome here.
You're not welcome here.
302
00:15:07,774 --> 00:15:10,140
Fine. I'm leaving.
Fine. I'm leaving.
303
00:15:11,443 --> 00:15:13,811
Block them.
They're getting away.
304
00:15:25,224 --> 00:15:28,392
No!
305
00:15:31,497 --> 00:15:33,064
Cake!
306
00:15:34,667 --> 00:15:36,935
See the nice frosting.
307
00:15:37,003 --> 00:15:41,005
And it's chocolate,
not yellow on the inside.
308
00:15:41,074 --> 00:15:44,842
Come on, Freida.
Come on, Ma.
309
00:15:44,911 --> 00:15:48,346
Come to the couch.
Sit down.
310
00:15:48,415 --> 00:15:52,583
Sit. Sit. Sit down.
That's good, girls.
311
00:15:52,652 --> 00:15:55,253
No. No treats
until I tell you.
312
00:15:56,289 --> 00:15:57,621
First we're gonna talk.
313
00:15:57,690 --> 00:15:59,790
You want to talk? Fine.
314
00:15:59,859 --> 00:16:01,892
I'll be the bigger person.
315
00:16:06,098 --> 00:16:07,465
Drop dead.
316
00:16:09,102 --> 00:16:12,469
Cook for me and I will.
317
00:16:12,538 --> 00:16:15,573
Your father was the
first bulimic in Flushing.
318
00:16:19,412 --> 00:16:22,112
Hey! Hey, hey, hey, hey!
319
00:16:24,417 --> 00:16:26,550
[EXCLAIMING]
320
00:16:26,619 --> 00:16:30,221
Now, I want to find out how
this whole feud got started.
321
00:16:30,290 --> 00:16:31,522
Well, it was a...
322
00:16:31,590 --> 00:16:32,756
It was lots of things.
323
00:16:32,826 --> 00:16:34,458
Plenty stuff.
324
00:16:34,527 --> 00:16:37,328
You know, I don't
believe you two yentas.
325
00:16:37,396 --> 00:16:39,230
You don't even remember.
326
00:16:39,299 --> 00:16:42,400
What happened?
You were both so close?
327
00:16:42,468 --> 00:16:44,268
Do you remember at that wedding
328
00:16:44,337 --> 00:16:48,439
when your Dynel wiglet caught
on fire from Uncle Zev's cigar?
329
00:16:48,508 --> 00:16:51,842
Who was the one that poured
the celery dish on your head?
330
00:16:51,911 --> 00:16:53,277
It was an emergency.
331
00:16:53,345 --> 00:16:55,580
Anybody would have
done the same.
332
00:16:55,648 --> 00:16:59,850
And do you remember
at little Irvy's bar mitzvah
333
00:16:59,919 --> 00:17:04,122
when there was only one end
cut of prime rib left,
334
00:17:04,190 --> 00:17:07,558
who took the middle?
335
00:17:07,627 --> 00:17:11,695
I know how she loves it, and
it didn't mean that much to me.
336
00:17:12,698 --> 00:17:15,699
Oh, Freida, she's right.
337
00:17:15,768 --> 00:17:18,870
Have the party with my blessing.
338
00:17:18,938 --> 00:17:20,904
And you'll come
and you'll dance?
339
00:17:20,973 --> 00:17:23,774
Oh, you lost so much weight.
340
00:17:26,379 --> 00:17:30,247
Now, you see,
this is the way it should be.
341
00:17:30,316 --> 00:17:34,518
Hugging. Not trying to screw each
other out of Grandma Fine's pearls.
342
00:17:34,587 --> 00:17:36,754
She took my mother's pearls?
343
00:17:36,823 --> 00:17:38,989
I have to sleep with her son.
344
00:17:42,061 --> 00:17:44,128
Chocolate sauce.
Chocolate sauce.
345
00:17:49,402 --> 00:17:52,703
[PEOPLE CHATTERING]
346
00:17:52,772 --> 00:17:56,273
Well, Miss Fine, you certainly seem
to have outdone yourself this time.
347
00:17:56,342 --> 00:17:57,441
Thank you.
348
00:17:57,510 --> 00:18:00,077
So what are your plans
for later?
349
00:18:00,146 --> 00:18:02,613
Going to raffle off
a Ford Granada?
350
00:18:03,983 --> 00:18:05,449
Very funny.
351
00:18:05,518 --> 00:18:09,153
Why don't you just admit
that this place is fabulous?
352
00:18:09,221 --> 00:18:10,721
What's that on the bar?
353
00:18:10,790 --> 00:18:11,989
Where?
354
00:18:15,194 --> 00:18:16,493
Milk Dud.
355
00:18:19,032 --> 00:18:21,799
Oh, gee, I hope Aunt Freida
took the vending machines
356
00:18:21,868 --> 00:18:23,267
out of the bathrooms.
357
00:18:23,335 --> 00:18:24,835
What vending machines?
358
00:18:24,903 --> 00:18:26,237
Daddy, can I have a dollar?
359
00:18:26,305 --> 00:18:28,105
You can buy balloons
in the bathroom.
360
00:18:28,173 --> 00:18:29,373
Oh, honey, honey...
361
00:18:32,145 --> 00:18:33,877
So who does your hair?
362
00:18:33,946 --> 00:18:35,646
I wish I could get that height.
363
00:18:35,714 --> 00:18:38,616
Oh, please,
I wish I had your voice.
364
00:18:38,684 --> 00:18:42,219
I swear, I close my eyes,
it's Julie Budd.
365
00:18:44,223 --> 00:18:46,423
Oh, wait, Freida.
Look at that. What?
366
00:18:46,492 --> 00:18:48,159
You're giving everyone a show
367
00:18:48,227 --> 00:18:49,693
that they didn't pay for.
368
00:18:49,762 --> 00:18:52,863
Ma, didn't you see?
Why didn't you say something?
369
00:18:52,931 --> 00:18:56,767
Oh, now I remember.
370
00:18:56,835 --> 00:18:58,435
That's what started all this.
371
00:18:58,504 --> 00:19:01,071
We were at Irwin
and Cookie's 25th.
372
00:19:01,140 --> 00:19:03,440
I'm on the dance floor
doing the alley cat
373
00:19:03,509 --> 00:19:06,243
with my tush hanging out
for the whole world to see,
374
00:19:06,312 --> 00:19:08,745
and she didn't say one word.
375
00:19:08,814 --> 00:19:12,216
What do you want from me?
I'm oblivious sometimes.
376
00:19:12,285 --> 00:19:13,917
Sometimes?
377
00:19:13,986 --> 00:19:16,787
You are so focused on your rear,
378
00:19:16,855 --> 00:19:21,091
meanwhile, you got two
watermelons for sale up front.
379
00:19:21,660 --> 00:19:22,960
What?
380
00:19:23,029 --> 00:19:26,697
You're jealous 'cause
I worked on Broadway.
381
00:19:26,766 --> 00:19:29,133
And who could forget
your big line,
382
00:19:29,201 --> 00:19:31,635
"Goobers or Raisinets?"
383
00:19:31,704 --> 00:19:32,903
Ma.
384
00:19:35,975 --> 00:19:37,975
Oh, good, Freida.
Calm down.
385
00:19:38,044 --> 00:19:39,577
What? What? What?
No.
386
00:19:44,016 --> 00:19:47,084
Ma, Ma, Ma,
please, take it back.
387
00:19:48,555 --> 00:19:51,121
What are you doing, guys?
388
00:19:51,191 --> 00:19:53,591
You're trying to start
a food fight?
389
00:19:53,660 --> 00:19:55,059
Food fight!
390
00:19:55,127 --> 00:19:57,027
[ALL SCREAMING]
391
00:19:57,096 --> 00:20:00,198
Stop. Don't worry.
Don't worry.
392
00:20:00,266 --> 00:20:03,033
[ALL YELLING]
393
00:20:10,743 --> 00:20:12,510
GIRL: Come on, have some fun.
394
00:20:21,754 --> 00:20:23,154
Miss Fine.
395
00:20:23,956 --> 00:20:26,057
Oh, Miss Fine.
396
00:20:39,739 --> 00:20:42,039
Oh, I see you found the camera.
397
00:20:43,610 --> 00:20:47,277
Miss Fine, what happened?
398
00:20:47,346 --> 00:20:50,147
Why do you always think
something happened?
399
00:20:51,718 --> 00:20:53,484
Lovely party.
400
00:20:59,826 --> 00:21:03,628
I am gone two seconds
and bedlam erupts.
401
00:21:05,197 --> 00:21:06,430
Maxwell.
402
00:21:13,939 --> 00:21:15,872
She started it, sir.
403
00:21:20,113 --> 00:21:24,214
I wanted this to be perfect and
just... just look what you've done.
404
00:21:24,283 --> 00:21:27,852
Go ahead. Go ahead.
Look at this mess.
405
00:21:27,920 --> 00:21:31,622
Oh, I know.
Bad nanny. Bad nanny.
406
00:21:33,359 --> 00:21:35,092
I'm sorry, Mr. Sheffield.
407
00:21:35,160 --> 00:21:37,261
Oh, save it, Miss Fine.
408
00:21:37,329 --> 00:21:39,597
It's not me you should be
apologizing to. It's Margaret.
409
00:21:39,665 --> 00:21:41,932
She's the one whose party
you've ruined.
410
00:21:42,001 --> 00:21:43,968
Fran, we were all having
such a wonderful time,
411
00:21:44,036 --> 00:21:46,703
but who's the idiot
who turned on the lights?
412
00:21:49,609 --> 00:21:52,343
Do you know,
Mr. Sheffield?
413
00:21:52,411 --> 00:21:55,713
No. I... I went to
get the camera.
414
00:21:55,782 --> 00:21:58,015
Aunt Freida, hit the breaker.
415
00:21:58,083 --> 00:21:59,182
[DISCO MUSIC PLAYING]
416
00:21:59,251 --> 00:22:00,885
Oh, Fran,
all my friends say that
417
00:22:00,953 --> 00:22:02,319
this is the best party ever.
418
00:22:02,388 --> 00:22:05,122
Thank you so much
for being so cool.
419
00:22:05,190 --> 00:22:08,826
And, Dad, well,
thanks for paying for it.
420
00:22:12,632 --> 00:22:14,798
Now, Miss Fine...
421
00:22:14,867 --> 00:22:19,570
Miss... Miss Fine, remember
who signs your check.
422
00:22:19,639 --> 00:22:24,508
Oh, Mr. Sheffield, I'm
not gonna hit you with this.
423
00:22:25,144 --> 00:22:26,443
Fake out.
424
00:22:28,848 --> 00:22:30,147
Friends?
425
00:22:30,215 --> 00:22:33,283
Oh, all right, friends.
426
00:22:33,352 --> 00:22:34,484
Come here.
31548
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