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1
00:01:11,140 --> 00:01:13,170
[Quark chuckles]
2
00:01:13,210 --> 00:01:15,000
Palindrome: Up, quark.
3
00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:19,200
Quark: Oh. Palindrome,
what's wrong?
4
00:01:20,000 --> 00:01:22,010
Palindrome: Nothing much.
The head's a little disturbed.
5
00:01:22,030 --> 00:01:24,190
I... i sent a commander
off in the wrong direction.
6
00:01:24,230 --> 00:01:26,120
Quark: That doesn't
sound so terrible.
7
00:01:26,160 --> 00:01:28,020
Palindrome: He's been
heading in that direction
8
00:01:28,060 --> 00:01:30,030
for 7 years. Quark:
Oh. That's not good.
9
00:01:30,070 --> 00:01:33,060
Palindrome: No, and I
ordered a million wrong helmets.
10
00:01:33,100 --> 00:01:35,020
I forgot gromulins have noses on
11
00:01:35,060 --> 00:01:36,180
the back of their heads.
12
00:01:36,220 --> 00:01:38,230
Quark, the head wants
to give you an assignment.
13
00:01:39,030 --> 00:01:40,100
Quark: Is it
adventure, palindrome?
14
00:01:40,120 --> 00:01:42,160
Palindrome:
You're gonna love it.
15
00:01:42,200 --> 00:01:44,100
Head: Commander quark,
16
00:01:44,140 --> 00:01:45,210
the starship abeltro
17
00:01:46,010 --> 00:01:49,000
has just traveled for 27 years
18
00:01:49,040 --> 00:01:51,160
in order to become our ally.
19
00:01:51,200 --> 00:01:54,210
Their leaders must understand
that the united galaxy
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00:01:55,010 --> 00:01:57,210
strives to preserve
peace and goodwill.
21
00:01:58,010 --> 00:01:59,180
Quark: I'm going to be
a goodwill ambassador.
22
00:01:59,200 --> 00:02:01,230
Head: And so, quark,
23
00:02:02,030 --> 00:02:03,170
after 27 years,
24
00:02:03,210 --> 00:02:06,170
their garbage hatch
is filled to the brim.
25
00:02:06,210 --> 00:02:11,130
Take your time. The
galaxy ad infinitum.
26
00:02:11,170 --> 00:02:13,140
Quark: It's garbage again.
27
00:02:13,180 --> 00:02:17,000
Star note. Garbage,
the final frontier.
28
00:02:17,040 --> 00:02:20,090
But no matter what our task,
I know my able and loyal crew
29
00:02:20,130 --> 00:02:22,080
will approach the
assignment with their usual
30
00:02:22,120 --> 00:02:24,150
efficiency and determination.
31
00:02:24,190 --> 00:02:26,180
Gene: I hate this
mission. Quark: Gene.
32
00:02:26,220 --> 00:02:28,110
Gene: It's a piece
of space fluff.
33
00:02:28,150 --> 00:02:29,160
I'm telling you,
commander, I gotta
34
00:02:29,180 --> 00:02:30,180
break me some heads,
35
00:02:30,220 --> 00:02:32,140
get me some gorgies,
36
00:02:32,180 --> 00:02:34,110
and crush some slime people.
37
00:02:34,150 --> 00:02:36,210
Quark: Well, we all
have to keep busy, gene.
38
00:02:41,160 --> 00:02:43,160
Betty: Commander, I've
got an alien ship starboard.
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00:02:43,180 --> 00:02:45,170
Quark: We're nowhere
near the abeltro yet.
40
00:02:45,210 --> 00:02:47,210
Make contact. Have
them identify themselves.
41
00:02:48,010 --> 00:02:48,230
[Beeping] Betty: Commander,
42
00:02:49,030 --> 00:02:50,030
they jammed our signals
43
00:02:50,060 --> 00:02:51,260
and are speeding away from us.
44
00:02:52,000 --> 00:02:54,030
Quark: Sounds like they've
got something to hide.
45
00:02:54,070 --> 00:02:55,090
Gene: Well, let's go
get 'em, commander.
46
00:02:55,110 --> 00:02:56,080
Quark: I'll decide that, gene.
47
00:02:56,120 --> 00:02:57,190
Ficus, which
regulation do you think
48
00:02:57,210 --> 00:02:58,250
applies in this situation?
49
00:02:59,010 --> 00:03:00,200
Ficus: A united galaxy,
commander, may elect to
50
00:03:00,220 --> 00:03:03,090
board and search any vessel
not responding to an inquiry.
51
00:03:03,130 --> 00:03:04,210
Quark: Bettys, let's go get 'em.
52
00:03:04,230 --> 00:03:06,220
Betty: We'll catch
them, commander.
53
00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:09,130
Gene: Way to go,
little space buddy.
54
00:03:09,170 --> 00:03:11,010
Ficus: Little space buddy?
55
00:03:14,130 --> 00:03:16,030
Gene: We're catching
them. We'll teach those guys
56
00:03:16,050 --> 00:03:18,080
a lesson they'll never
forget. Right, commander?
57
00:03:18,120 --> 00:03:19,160
Quark: Sure, gene.
Ficus, have you got
58
00:03:19,180 --> 00:03:20,160
a reading on that ship yet?
59
00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:22,040
Ficus: It appears
they are approximately
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00:03:22,080 --> 00:03:24,020
20 times bigger than we are,
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00:03:24,060 --> 00:03:26,040
have 6 photon death rays,
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00:03:26,080 --> 00:03:29,050
and a deflector shield which
our weapons cannot penetrate.
63
00:03:29,090 --> 00:03:30,200
Quark: Our weapons
cannot penetrate?
64
00:03:30,220 --> 00:03:32,160
Ficus: Sir, we couldn't
interrupt a small
65
00:03:32,200 --> 00:03:34,010
dinner party on that ship.
66
00:03:34,050 --> 00:03:35,120
Quark: Bettys,
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00:03:35,160 --> 00:03:37,010
turn the ship around.
68
00:03:37,050 --> 00:03:38,070
Gene: Commander, I
thought you said we were
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00:03:38,090 --> 00:03:39,120
gonna teach them a lesson.
70
00:03:39,140 --> 00:03:40,180
Quark: I think they've learned
71
00:03:40,200 --> 00:03:41,180
their lesson, gene.
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00:03:41,220 --> 00:03:43,200
Bettys, turn it around.
73
00:03:44,000 --> 00:03:45,030
Gene: Aww!
74
00:03:48,120 --> 00:03:49,520
Betty: Commander,
we have a problem.
75
00:03:50,010 --> 00:03:51,130
They're turning around, too.
76
00:03:51,170 --> 00:03:52,370
Quark: They're turning around?
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00:03:53,010 --> 00:03:54,150
You mean they're chasing us?
78
00:03:54,190 --> 00:03:56,100
Ficus, who are they?
79
00:03:56,140 --> 00:03:59,000
Ficus: Well, commander,
there are 3 possibilities.
80
00:03:59,040 --> 00:04:00,200
Either they are the
dreaded gorgons,
81
00:04:00,220 --> 00:04:02,140
in which case we'll
probably all be killed,
82
00:04:02,180 --> 00:04:04,170
or they're the allies of
the dreaded gorgons.
83
00:04:04,210 --> 00:04:07,090
Quark: Ficus, I don't
have time for long lists.
84
00:04:07,130 --> 00:04:09,180
Ficus: In which case we'll
probably also be killed.
85
00:04:09,220 --> 00:04:11,140
Quark: Ficus, what you're
saying is that all possibilities
86
00:04:11,160 --> 00:04:12,050
end in our death.
87
00:04:12,090 --> 00:04:15,010
Bettys, contact perma one.
88
00:04:15,050 --> 00:04:16,070
[Beeping] Betty: We can't.
89
00:04:16,110 --> 00:04:19,160
They've jammed our controls.
90
00:04:19,200 --> 00:04:21,060
Commander, we've been
captured and they've got us
91
00:04:21,080 --> 00:04:22,140
in their tractor
beam and they're
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00:04:22,160 --> 00:04:24,060
taking us aboard their ship.
93
00:04:24,100 --> 00:04:25,940
Quark: We're prisoners!
Ficus: That was my next
94
00:04:26,020 --> 00:04:28,040
possibility, commander.
95
00:04:33,080 --> 00:04:34,200
Quark, voice-over: Star
note. I have been captured
96
00:04:34,220 --> 00:04:36,070
by zorgon the malevolent,
97
00:04:36,110 --> 00:04:38,100
the most vicious
gorgon space pirate
98
00:04:38,140 --> 00:04:41,100
and half-brother to
the high gorgon himself.
99
00:04:41,140 --> 00:04:43,070
Garbage is beginning
to look good.
100
00:04:43,110 --> 00:04:44,590
Gene: Gorgons.
Commander, can we talk?
101
00:04:45,020 --> 00:04:47,000
Quark: Not now,
gene. Zorgon: All right.
102
00:04:47,040 --> 00:04:48,600
What have you got
to say for yourselves?
103
00:04:49,030 --> 00:04:50,200
Andy: We give up. Zorgon:
Who is the commander
104
00:04:50,220 --> 00:04:53,140
who dared chase
zorgon the malevolent?
105
00:04:53,180 --> 00:04:56,140
Gene: He is. Quark:
Gene, I'll handle this.
106
00:04:58,020 --> 00:04:59,040
I'm a commander first class
107
00:04:59,060 --> 00:05:00,150
in the united galaxy star fleet.
108
00:05:00,170 --> 00:05:01,190
Libido: I didn't
know we had a new
109
00:05:01,210 --> 00:05:03,070
shipment of prisoners.
110
00:05:03,110 --> 00:05:06,000
Beauty is to the soul
111
00:05:06,040 --> 00:05:09,100
as rain is to the trees.
112
00:05:09,140 --> 00:05:12,100
Ficus: And rain is to the
trees as beauty is to the soul.
113
00:05:13,220 --> 00:05:15,030
Quark: Yep. I'm a
commander first class
114
00:05:15,070 --> 00:05:16,200
in the united galaxy star fleet.
115
00:05:16,220 --> 00:05:18,140
I signaled your ship
to identify yourself.
116
00:05:18,180 --> 00:05:19,190
You did not.
117
00:05:19,230 --> 00:05:21,120
Andy: I am willing to grovel.
118
00:05:21,160 --> 00:05:23,070
Libido: What is it that
they should call you?
119
00:05:23,110 --> 00:05:27,120
Ficus: I'm ficus
pandaroga. I am a vegeton.
120
00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:29,110
Libido: You certainly are.
121
00:05:29,150 --> 00:05:30,130
Quark: As I was
saying, it was my duty
122
00:05:30,170 --> 00:05:32,040
to check on you myself.
123
00:05:32,080 --> 00:05:34,020
I demand the release
of my crew and my ship
124
00:05:34,060 --> 00:05:37,150
under article 5, section 7 of
the united agreed statutes.
125
00:05:37,190 --> 00:05:40,060
Zorgon: You dare demand of me?
126
00:05:40,100 --> 00:05:41,700
Throw these people
in the prison chamber.
127
00:05:42,020 --> 00:05:44,070
Gene: Prison?
Never. I'd rather die.
128
00:05:44,110 --> 00:05:45,180
Quark: Gene... Zorgon:
You'd rather die?
129
00:05:45,200 --> 00:05:47,080
Gene: Yeah. We all would.
130
00:05:47,120 --> 00:05:49,000
Quark: Gene, don't help!
131
00:05:49,040 --> 00:05:51,040
Gene: No gorgon's
gonna throw me in prison.
132
00:05:51,080 --> 00:05:54,020
Anyone who tries, I'll
rip his kneecaps off.
133
00:05:55,180 --> 00:05:57,200
I'm sorry. I didn't mean that.
134
00:05:58,000 --> 00:06:00,030
Violence is... is not the
answer to man's problems.
135
00:06:00,070 --> 00:06:01,120
Zorgon: That man
confuses me. Kill him.
136
00:06:01,140 --> 00:06:02,220
Quark: No, wait, please.
137
00:06:03,020 --> 00:06:04,140
You don't understand.
138
00:06:04,180 --> 00:06:06,020
She's a transmute.
139
00:06:06,060 --> 00:06:08,110
I promise if you'll
spare his life,
140
00:06:08,150 --> 00:06:10,080
she won't bother you anymore.
141
00:06:10,120 --> 00:06:13,170
Andy: Emperor zorgon,
emperor zorgon, emperor zorgon.
142
00:06:13,210 --> 00:06:15,140
[Quark hits Andy]
Can I be on your side?
143
00:06:15,180 --> 00:06:19,040
Libido: Daddy,
spare the transmute.
144
00:06:19,080 --> 00:06:21,140
I don't want to
upset the vegeton.
145
00:06:23,140 --> 00:06:24,160
Zorgon: Oh, very well.
146
00:06:24,200 --> 00:06:26,150
I never can refuse my daughter.
147
00:06:26,190 --> 00:06:28,090
For now, libido.
148
00:06:28,130 --> 00:06:30,100
Quark, you'll remain here.
149
00:06:30,140 --> 00:06:31,660
Take the others to
the prison chambers.
150
00:06:32,030 --> 00:06:33,140
Gene: Thank you.
I-I think you'll find
151
00:06:33,160 --> 00:06:36,210
I-I relate well in
group situations.
152
00:06:39,210 --> 00:06:40,770
Palindrome: Yes,
yes, I'll sign it, Max.
153
00:06:41,020 --> 00:06:43,070
Believe me, I'll sign it. Ok.
154
00:06:43,110 --> 00:06:44,210
[Dink beeping]
155
00:06:45,010 --> 00:06:46,110
Palindrome: What?
No, dink, don't be silly.
156
00:06:46,130 --> 00:06:48,060
Everybody can't be 6 feet tall.
157
00:06:48,100 --> 00:06:52,080
[Dink beeping]
Palindrome: Going bald?
158
00:06:52,120 --> 00:06:53,560
Believe me, you're
not even finished.
159
00:06:54,010 --> 00:06:55,120
[Dink beeping]
Palindrome: Look, dink,
160
00:06:55,140 --> 00:06:56,200
if it's about your
emotional traumas,
161
00:06:56,220 --> 00:06:58,010
I don't want to hear about it.
162
00:06:58,050 --> 00:07:00,020
The head almost
fired me just now.
163
00:07:00,040 --> 00:07:01,280
[Dink beeping] Palindrome: What?
164
00:07:02,020 --> 00:07:03,120
[Dink beeping]
Palindrome: Quark has
165
00:07:03,140 --> 00:07:04,030
disappeared?
166
00:07:04,070 --> 00:07:06,050
[Dink beeping] Palindrome:
He can't disappear.
167
00:07:06,090 --> 00:07:08,050
We got the finest
technology in the galaxy.
168
00:07:08,090 --> 00:07:12,010
[Dink beeping]
Palindrome: Now, listen.
169
00:07:12,050 --> 00:07:13,120
If the head finds out
about this, we could be
170
00:07:13,140 --> 00:07:15,070
back in the mines faster than
171
00:07:15,110 --> 00:07:16,130
the Greek quasi-norm.
172
00:07:16,170 --> 00:07:18,190
[Dink beeping]
173
00:07:18,230 --> 00:07:20,090
Palindrome: What do
you mean, you don't know?
174
00:07:20,130 --> 00:07:22,100
Will you just go
find quark, please?
175
00:07:22,140 --> 00:07:23,120
[Dink beeping]
Palindrome: Will you just
176
00:07:23,160 --> 00:07:24,010
go find him?
177
00:07:24,050 --> 00:07:25,000
Come on. Move out there.
178
00:07:25,040 --> 00:07:25,190
[Dink beeping]
179
00:07:25,230 --> 00:07:27,060
Palindrome: Move along.
180
00:07:29,090 --> 00:07:31,080
Quark, where are you?
181
00:07:31,120 --> 00:07:33,130
[Playing slow music]
182
00:07:56,100 --> 00:07:59,230
Zorgon: Wonderful,
wonderful, wonderful.
183
00:08:03,230 --> 00:08:06,170
Quark, voice-over:
Star note. Whew. Wow!
184
00:08:08,220 --> 00:08:11,080
Zorgon: We spend
many evenings this way.
185
00:08:11,120 --> 00:08:14,040
My daughter means more
to me than anything else
186
00:08:14,080 --> 00:08:15,120
in the universe...
187
00:08:15,160 --> 00:08:17,140
Except, of course,
the universe itself.
188
00:08:17,180 --> 00:08:19,230
This surprises
you? Quark: No. No.
189
00:08:20,030 --> 00:08:21,190
She had to get that
rhythm from someone.
190
00:08:21,210 --> 00:08:23,110
Zorgon: Heh heh heh.
191
00:08:23,150 --> 00:08:25,130
Quark: Zorgon, I
don't see any reason
192
00:08:25,170 --> 00:08:28,010
for my crew and me to
be delayed any further.
193
00:08:28,050 --> 00:08:29,130
Zorgon: Quark!
194
00:08:35,120 --> 00:08:37,040
I like you, quark.
195
00:08:37,080 --> 00:08:40,000
People like to gossip.
196
00:08:40,040 --> 00:08:42,150
They don't know the
real emperor zorgon.
197
00:08:42,190 --> 00:08:44,100
Ask me what my dream is. Ask me.
198
00:08:44,140 --> 00:08:46,090
Quark: What's your dream?
Zorgon: To be absolute
199
00:08:46,130 --> 00:08:50,220
dictator of the entire universe.
200
00:08:51,020 --> 00:08:52,060
What? Would you say I was mad?
201
00:08:52,080 --> 00:08:53,040
Quark: No. Zorgon: Yes.
202
00:08:53,080 --> 00:08:54,160
Quark: No!
203
00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:56,020
You're very goal-oriented.
204
00:08:56,060 --> 00:08:58,030
Zorgon: You know
what the others say?
205
00:08:58,070 --> 00:09:00,110
They say that I dwell too
much on torture and murder.
206
00:09:00,130 --> 00:09:02,020
They say that I
kill for the joy of it.
207
00:09:02,060 --> 00:09:03,200
They say I wipe out
whole civilizations
208
00:09:03,220 --> 00:09:05,050
at the touch of a button.
209
00:09:05,090 --> 00:09:08,080
Quark: Are they
right? Zorgon: Yes.
210
00:09:08,120 --> 00:09:09,960
Quark, voice-over: Star
note. Whoever they are,
211
00:09:10,030 --> 00:09:12,100
they know what
they're talking about.
212
00:09:16,000 --> 00:09:16,170
Gene: We gotta
get out of this pit.
213
00:09:16,210 --> 00:09:17,070
I'm telling you,
214
00:09:17,110 --> 00:09:18,210
I can't take it anymore.
215
00:09:19,010 --> 00:09:20,250
Betty: Ficus, what's happening?
216
00:09:21,000 --> 00:09:22,990
Ficus: It would appear the
walls are closing in upon us.
217
00:09:23,010 --> 00:09:24,140
Gene: Hey, I don't
want to be crushed.
218
00:09:24,160 --> 00:09:27,080
Andy: Being crushed
is bad for my future.
219
00:09:27,120 --> 00:09:28,190
Gene: Ficus, we
gotta do something.
220
00:09:28,210 --> 00:09:30,040
I'm telling you...
221
00:09:30,080 --> 00:09:31,150
You don't care, do you?
222
00:09:31,190 --> 00:09:33,120
You never really care, do you?
223
00:09:33,160 --> 00:09:35,050
Ficus: Interesting you
should ask that, gene.
224
00:09:35,090 --> 00:09:37,120
You see, as a vegeton,
I remain cool and crisp,
225
00:09:37,160 --> 00:09:39,190
even while being
crushed by walls.
226
00:09:39,230 --> 00:09:41,030
Gene: Yeah, well, you ain't
gonna remain cool and crisp
227
00:09:41,050 --> 00:09:42,170
if these turn you into a salad.
228
00:09:42,190 --> 00:09:43,170
Come on, Andy. Andy: My life is
229
00:09:43,210 --> 00:09:46,180
flashing before me.
230
00:09:46,220 --> 00:09:49,010
Zorgon: I love to see a
beautiful meteor shower.
231
00:09:49,050 --> 00:09:52,000
The moons rising over nova.
232
00:09:52,040 --> 00:09:53,120
The lovely rainbow hues
233
00:09:53,160 --> 00:09:56,000
of the rings around Felix.
234
00:09:56,040 --> 00:09:57,210
Quark: Zorgon, I
demand the immediate
235
00:09:57,230 --> 00:09:58,230
release of my ship.
236
00:09:59,010 --> 00:10:00,140
Zorgon: I like you, quark.
237
00:10:00,180 --> 00:10:03,090
You remind me a lot of
me when I was your age.
238
00:10:03,130 --> 00:10:08,030
Now. You tell me where
it is and I'll let you go.
239
00:10:08,070 --> 00:10:09,180
Quark: Where what is?
Zorgon: I can play games,
240
00:10:09,200 --> 00:10:11,220
too, quark.
241
00:10:12,020 --> 00:10:13,210
Where is it? Quark: It?
242
00:10:14,010 --> 00:10:16,100
Zorgon: Perhaps this
will refresh your memory.
243
00:10:16,140 --> 00:10:17,140
[Beep]
244
00:10:19,220 --> 00:10:21,140
Quark: What are you
doing? Zorgon: Where is it?
245
00:10:21,180 --> 00:10:23,190
Quark: Where is
what? Zorgon: It.
246
00:10:23,230 --> 00:10:25,050
Quark: It? Zorgon: It!
247
00:10:25,090 --> 00:10:26,180
Quark: What is it?
Zorgon: Perma one
248
00:10:26,200 --> 00:10:28,030
sent you to fetch
it, didn't they?
249
00:10:28,070 --> 00:10:29,120
You're an undercover agent.
250
00:10:29,140 --> 00:10:31,020
Quark: I'm on a garbage run.
251
00:10:31,060 --> 00:10:34,190
[Zorgon laughs]
252
00:10:34,230 --> 00:10:35,190
You lie. You're an agent.
253
00:10:35,230 --> 00:10:37,220
Where is it?
254
00:10:38,020 --> 00:10:39,500
Quark: You've got
to stop those walls.
255
00:10:40,030 --> 00:10:41,150
Zorgon: The last time, quark.
256
00:10:41,170 --> 00:10:43,020
Where is it?
257
00:10:43,060 --> 00:10:45,010
Quark: I-I swear I don't have
258
00:10:45,050 --> 00:10:47,170
any idea what it is.
259
00:10:52,120 --> 00:10:54,150
Stop it. Turn off your walls!
260
00:10:54,190 --> 00:10:56,050
Zorgon: Will you
tell me where it is?
261
00:10:56,090 --> 00:10:58,080
Quark: I'll tell.
Zorgon: Very well then.
262
00:11:01,110 --> 00:11:02,270
Right now, quark. Where is it?
263
00:11:03,010 --> 00:11:07,040
Quark: It? It is on
asteroid rumbar.
264
00:11:07,080 --> 00:11:10,030
Zorgon: Asteroid
rumbar. Are you sure?
265
00:11:10,070 --> 00:11:11,230
Quark: Believe me. It's there.
266
00:11:12,000 --> 00:11:14,010
Zorgon: 'Cause
if it isn't, quark,
267
00:11:14,050 --> 00:11:15,210
you shall die.
268
00:11:21,230 --> 00:11:23,170
Betty: It, Adam. What is it?
269
00:11:23,210 --> 00:11:25,020
Quark: Don't ask.
270
00:11:25,060 --> 00:11:26,120
We arrive at asteroid rumbar
271
00:11:26,140 --> 00:11:27,230
in 6 hours.
272
00:11:28,030 --> 00:11:30,000
Zorgon wants me
with him when we land.
273
00:11:30,040 --> 00:11:31,210
When he sees I've
been bluffing, I'll be killed.
274
00:11:31,230 --> 00:11:33,210
We'll all be killed.
Andy: Oh, drat!
275
00:11:34,010 --> 00:11:35,140
Quark: Don't swear,
Andy. Ficus: Sir,
276
00:11:35,160 --> 00:11:36,160
I just had a thought.
277
00:11:36,190 --> 00:11:38,070
If we were to rechannel
the sumnar valves
278
00:11:38,110 --> 00:11:40,140
with the octyosufferset...
Quark: Ficus.
279
00:11:40,180 --> 00:11:41,230
Gene: Ficus, spit it out.
280
00:11:42,030 --> 00:11:43,090
Ficus: Spitting it out, sir,
281
00:11:43,110 --> 00:11:46,000
Andy could blow open that door.
282
00:11:46,040 --> 00:11:48,010
[Gene snaps fingers] Sure.
Andy's got enough power
283
00:11:48,050 --> 00:11:49,200
in his control box here
284
00:11:50,000 --> 00:11:52,010
and if ficus is right,
we could blast that door
285
00:11:52,050 --> 00:11:54,020
into a billion space specks.
286
00:11:54,060 --> 00:11:55,150
Of course, if he's wrong...
287
00:11:55,190 --> 00:11:58,200
Andy: Gene, please
finish that statement.
288
00:11:59,000 --> 00:12:01,130
I don't recall good
being taken on this.
289
00:12:01,170 --> 00:12:03,130
Gene, finish your statement.
290
00:12:03,170 --> 00:12:05,200
I'm surrounded by assassins.
291
00:12:06,000 --> 00:12:07,050
Quark: Are you ready, gene?
Gene: Ready, commander.
292
00:12:07,070 --> 00:12:08,070
Andy: I'm not ready.
293
00:12:08,110 --> 00:12:10,110
I am filled with doubt and fear.
294
00:12:10,150 --> 00:12:13,080
Quark: Ok, let her go.
295
00:12:13,120 --> 00:12:15,060
Andy: Gene, as a personal favor,
296
00:12:15,100 --> 00:12:17,130
I would like a blindfold.
297
00:12:21,080 --> 00:12:23,070
Gene: That should do it.
Andy: Does this mean i'm
298
00:12:23,110 --> 00:12:24,110
not dead?
299
00:12:29,150 --> 00:12:30,350
Quark: Bettys, check the hall.
300
00:12:36,150 --> 00:12:37,200
Betty: Guard, commander!
Quark: We'll have
301
00:12:37,220 --> 00:12:38,100
to fight, gene.
302
00:12:38,140 --> 00:12:39,210
Gene: Actually, I'm not into
303
00:12:39,230 --> 00:12:41,070
this macho role
playing, commander,
304
00:12:41,110 --> 00:12:42,140
quark: Gene, don't
do this to me now.
305
00:12:42,160 --> 00:12:43,230
I need your male side.
306
00:12:44,030 --> 00:12:45,050
Gene: Many times
what we think we need
307
00:12:45,070 --> 00:12:46,150
is not really what is best.
308
00:12:46,190 --> 00:12:48,010
Ficus: You know,
that's true, commander.
309
00:12:48,050 --> 00:12:49,010
Many times, our
subconscious has a...
310
00:12:49,050 --> 00:12:50,100
Quark: Ficus!
311
00:12:50,140 --> 00:12:52,000
Gene, Andy, get
back to the ship.
312
00:12:52,040 --> 00:12:53,200
Contact palindrome.
Tell him we've been
313
00:12:53,220 --> 00:12:55,080
captured by zorgon
and we need his help.
314
00:12:55,120 --> 00:12:56,180
Gene: Communication. Help.
315
00:12:56,220 --> 00:12:58,070
Those are the
sides of the military
316
00:12:58,110 --> 00:12:59,190
I feel most in tune with.
317
00:12:59,230 --> 00:13:01,150
Quark: Go! Go!
318
00:13:01,190 --> 00:13:03,060
Gene: Andy, let's
go. Andy: Coming.
319
00:13:03,100 --> 00:13:06,040
At last, a plan
I like... running.
320
00:13:07,170 --> 00:13:08,180
Betty: Shh.
321
00:13:14,130 --> 00:13:15,200
Quark: Sorry, miss.
322
00:13:21,090 --> 00:13:22,230
I said I was sorry.
323
00:13:26,070 --> 00:13:28,010
Woman: Take them back
to the prison chambers.
324
00:13:29,050 --> 00:13:30,170
[Drilling]
325
00:13:36,020 --> 00:13:37,060
Quark: Gene and Andy
should have gotten through
326
00:13:37,080 --> 00:13:38,010
by now, don't you think?
327
00:13:38,050 --> 00:13:39,730
Ficus: Sir, gene and
Andy together would be
328
00:13:40,030 --> 00:13:42,180
lucky to be able to tie a bow.
329
00:13:42,220 --> 00:13:44,210
I highly recommend
you getting a new plan.
330
00:13:45,010 --> 00:13:47,130
Betty: I've got an idea,
Adam. Quark: What is it, Betty?
331
00:13:47,150 --> 00:13:49,130
Betty: The empress
libido is in love with ficus.
332
00:13:49,170 --> 00:13:51,020
Maybe she'd help him.
333
00:13:51,060 --> 00:13:52,100
Quark: That's a very
good thought, Betty.
334
00:13:52,120 --> 00:13:53,130
Betty: Thank you.
335
00:13:53,170 --> 00:13:55,010
Quark: You're welcome, Betty.
336
00:13:55,050 --> 00:13:56,010
Ficus: What makes
you think the empress
337
00:13:56,050 --> 00:13:57,010
is in love with me?
338
00:13:57,050 --> 00:13:58,170
Betty: We can tell.
339
00:13:58,210 --> 00:13:59,970
Ficus: Are you saying
that the empress libido
340
00:14:00,020 --> 00:14:01,070
is manifesting that condition
341
00:14:01,090 --> 00:14:02,160
that you animals refer to
342
00:14:02,200 --> 00:14:04,160
as romantic affection
343
00:14:04,200 --> 00:14:06,050
at initial visual perception?
344
00:14:06,090 --> 00:14:07,610
Quark: Yes, ficus.
Love at first sight.
345
00:14:08,020 --> 00:14:11,000
It's worth a shot. Guard?
346
00:14:11,040 --> 00:14:12,170
Tell empress libido
that Mr. Pandaroga
347
00:14:12,190 --> 00:14:14,120
would like an audience with her.
348
00:14:17,000 --> 00:14:19,160
Now, ficus, when zorgon
calls me to his bridge
349
00:14:19,200 --> 00:14:22,130
to witness the landing
on asteroid rumbar,
350
00:14:22,170 --> 00:14:26,000
I could capture him and use him
as a hostage to make our escape.
351
00:14:26,040 --> 00:14:27,210
What you have to do
is get empress libido
352
00:14:27,230 --> 00:14:30,050
to leave a gamma gun for
me under zorgon's throne.
353
00:14:30,090 --> 00:14:31,160
Ficus: Why would
the empress help you
354
00:14:31,180 --> 00:14:32,160
capture her own father?
355
00:14:32,200 --> 00:14:35,080
Betty: She will if you ask
her at the right moment.
356
00:14:35,120 --> 00:14:37,160
Ficus: Will she tell me when
that moment has arrived?
357
00:14:37,180 --> 00:14:39,000
Quark: Not in so many words.
358
00:14:39,040 --> 00:14:40,140
Ficus: In how
many words exactly?
359
00:14:40,160 --> 00:14:44,090
Quark: Ficus... We'll show you.
360
00:14:45,210 --> 00:14:47,080
I think one of you will be
361
00:14:47,120 --> 00:14:48,320
enough for this demonstration.
362
00:14:49,000 --> 00:14:50,110
Try it with Betty.
363
00:15:01,020 --> 00:15:02,200
Now, after a while,
libido will start
364
00:15:02,220 --> 00:15:05,130
repeating your name
over and over again.
365
00:15:05,170 --> 00:15:06,290
Betty: Adam. Betty #1: Ficus.
366
00:15:07,020 --> 00:15:09,200
Betty: Adam. Betty #1: Ficus.
367
00:15:10,000 --> 00:15:10,160
Betty: Adam. Betty #1: Ficus.
368
00:15:10,200 --> 00:15:11,060
Betty: Adam.
369
00:15:11,100 --> 00:15:13,190
Quark: Then... Ok.
Then her breathing
370
00:15:13,230 --> 00:15:15,180
will become irregular.
371
00:15:15,220 --> 00:15:23,220
[Betty panting]
372
00:15:24,080 --> 00:15:27,130
Quark: When...
when all this happens,
373
00:15:27,170 --> 00:15:29,020
you ask her for the gun.
374
00:15:29,060 --> 00:15:30,110
Ficus: When all this happens,
375
00:15:30,130 --> 00:15:32,030
shouldn't I call the doctor?
376
00:15:32,070 --> 00:15:35,070
Quark: No, ficus.
It's all very normal.
377
00:15:35,110 --> 00:15:37,010
It's how we humans love.
378
00:15:37,050 --> 00:15:38,060
Betty: And ficus, bring her
379
00:15:38,080 --> 00:15:39,200
flowers for her gown.
380
00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:42,150
Ficus: Bring her flowers?
That would be a sin.
381
00:15:42,190 --> 00:15:45,140
Betty: A sin? But
flowers are so romantic.
382
00:15:45,180 --> 00:15:47,060
Ficus: To you,
they are romantic.
383
00:15:47,100 --> 00:15:49,220
To a vegeton, a flower
is a blood brother.
384
00:15:50,020 --> 00:15:52,010
Why, my pinning a
flower to a woman's gown
385
00:15:52,050 --> 00:15:56,030
would be like you strapping
a lamb chop to your dress.
386
00:15:56,070 --> 00:15:58,130
Quark, voice-over: Star
note. Ficus has a strange way
387
00:15:58,150 --> 00:16:00,130
of putting things.
388
00:16:00,170 --> 00:16:02,030
Gene: Why do I have
to be chained to you?
389
00:16:02,070 --> 00:16:04,040
Andy: Believe me,
this is not my idea
390
00:16:04,080 --> 00:16:05,170
of making whoopee.
391
00:16:05,210 --> 00:16:07,180
Gene: Come on. Come on. In here.
392
00:16:12,100 --> 00:16:13,190
Guard: The empress
libido requests the presence
393
00:16:13,210 --> 00:16:14,170
of Mr. Pandaroga.
394
00:16:14,210 --> 00:16:16,120
Quark: It worked.
395
00:16:16,160 --> 00:16:18,020
Betty: Hurry, ficus.
There's not much time
396
00:16:18,060 --> 00:16:19,160
until we reach asteroid rumbar.
397
00:16:19,180 --> 00:16:21,030
Ficus: To be exact, there are
398
00:16:21,070 --> 00:16:22,200
3 hours and 9
minutes. Quark: Go. Go.
399
00:16:22,220 --> 00:16:24,100
Betty: Good luck, ficus.
400
00:16:26,230 --> 00:16:29,050
[Electronic pulse]
401
00:16:29,090 --> 00:16:32,120
Quark: Ficus... I don't
want the Bettys to hear this,
402
00:16:32,160 --> 00:16:35,100
but when you're with
libido, keep repeating,
403
00:16:35,140 --> 00:16:38,000
"yes, of course I'll respect
you in the morning."
404
00:16:38,040 --> 00:16:40,200
Ficus: Yes, of course...
405
00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:44,220
[softly] Yes, of course I'll
respect you in the morning.
406
00:16:45,020 --> 00:16:46,030
Quark: Ficus, remember,
407
00:16:46,070 --> 00:16:48,110
our lives are in your hands.
408
00:16:48,150 --> 00:16:51,120
Ficus: Yes, of course I'll
respect you in the morning.
409
00:16:54,080 --> 00:16:55,170
Commander, grammatically
speaking, shouldn't
410
00:16:55,190 --> 00:16:56,100
the verb respect...
411
00:16:56,140 --> 00:16:58,140
Quark, voice-over: Star
note. Hopefully, there is
412
00:16:58,180 --> 00:16:59,120
life after death.
413
00:16:59,160 --> 00:17:01,160
Ficus: Before the
object of the preposit...
414
00:17:08,190 --> 00:17:10,070
Andy: Gene, chained
to you is not my way of
415
00:17:10,110 --> 00:17:13,000
planning for a bright future.
416
00:17:13,040 --> 00:17:14,130
Man: Ah. Professor markof.
417
00:17:14,170 --> 00:17:17,190
You're late. I've
been looking for you.
418
00:17:17,230 --> 00:17:19,210
Shall we go to the lecture room?
We've all been looking forward
419
00:17:19,230 --> 00:17:23,030
to your speech on the
care and operation of... It.
420
00:17:23,070 --> 00:17:24,470
Gene: Ah, yes, my
speech, of course.
421
00:17:25,010 --> 00:17:26,140
Mm-hmm. Man: Speech.
422
00:17:26,180 --> 00:17:28,200
Andy: This should be a
very interesting speech.
423
00:17:29,000 --> 00:17:30,520
Gene: Nerd. [Hits
Andy] Man: Professor.
424
00:17:34,080 --> 00:17:35,100
Right this way.
425
00:17:36,190 --> 00:17:40,030
Libido: Ficus, do you love me?
426
00:17:40,070 --> 00:17:42,050
Ficus: No, but I will
respect you in the morning.
427
00:17:45,010 --> 00:17:48,190
Libido: You're the most
nowhere man I've ever met.
428
00:17:48,230 --> 00:17:50,190
You just don't have anything.
429
00:17:50,230 --> 00:17:51,230
Ficus: Thank you.
430
00:17:52,000 --> 00:17:53,140
Libido, you must help us.
431
00:17:53,180 --> 00:17:55,040
The commander must
have a gamma gun
432
00:17:55,080 --> 00:17:57,100
left under your
father's throne...
433
00:18:03,200 --> 00:18:06,040
Now, before we reach
asteroid rumbar...
434
00:18:07,200 --> 00:18:09,190
Libido: Ficus, I
just kissed you.
435
00:18:09,230 --> 00:18:12,080
Didn't you feel anything?
436
00:18:12,120 --> 00:18:14,040
Ficus: Yes. I felt
the application
437
00:18:14,080 --> 00:18:16,120
of your epidermis upon my
own, then a slight pressure
438
00:18:16,140 --> 00:18:18,010
accompanied by a
rise in temperature...
439
00:18:18,050 --> 00:18:20,030
Libido: Pandaroga,
you're supposed to feel
440
00:18:20,070 --> 00:18:23,020
something special.
441
00:18:23,060 --> 00:18:26,060
Ficus: Oh. Libido, this is where
442
00:18:26,100 --> 00:18:27,200
we're going to have a problem.
443
00:18:27,220 --> 00:18:28,300
You see, where I come from,
444
00:18:29,030 --> 00:18:31,170
we don't kiss, we pollinate.
445
00:18:31,210 --> 00:18:35,050
Libido: Pollinate?
Can I do that?
446
00:18:35,090 --> 00:18:37,130
Ficus: Watch what I
do and repeat after me.
447
00:18:41,200 --> 00:18:43,160
Watch carefully and listen.
448
00:18:46,090 --> 00:18:52,160
Bee bee bee bee bee bee bee
bee bee bee bee bee bee bee.
449
00:18:52,200 --> 00:18:54,030
Can you do that?
450
00:18:54,070 --> 00:18:55,100
Libido: Move over.
451
00:19:01,010 --> 00:19:03,040
Both: Bee bee bee
bee bee bee bee
452
00:19:03,080 --> 00:19:08,030
bee bee bee bee bee bee bee
bee bee bee bee bee bee bee.
453
00:19:08,070 --> 00:19:09,090
Libido: Bee bee bee bee
bee bee bee bee bee bee...
454
00:19:09,110 --> 00:19:11,040
Ficus: Is it good for you?
455
00:19:11,080 --> 00:19:13,180
Libido: Uh, I-I
think so. Is this what
456
00:19:13,220 --> 00:19:16,040
you vegetons find pleasurable?
457
00:19:16,080 --> 00:19:17,180
Ficus: It would appear so.
458
00:19:20,090 --> 00:19:22,020
Libido: What do we do now?
459
00:19:22,060 --> 00:19:24,040
Ficus: We wait for the bee.
460
00:19:25,220 --> 00:19:28,100
Libido: Bee.
461
00:19:28,140 --> 00:19:32,040
Both: Bee bee bee bee bee
bee bee bee bee bee bee...
462
00:19:32,080 --> 00:19:34,020
Zorgon: Libido!
463
00:19:34,060 --> 00:19:36,120
What's going on here?
What are you doing?
464
00:19:36,160 --> 00:19:37,190
Ficus: We were pollinating, sir.
465
00:19:37,210 --> 00:19:39,200
Zorgon: Pollin...? A vegeton
466
00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:42,200
pollinating with my
daughter? Seize him.
467
00:19:43,000 --> 00:19:45,020
And you, get up off that floor.
468
00:19:45,060 --> 00:19:47,020
I'm just glad your mother
isn't alive to see this.
469
00:19:47,060 --> 00:19:48,030
Place him on the rack.
470
00:19:48,070 --> 00:19:51,160
Libido: Oh, no! Oh, I love him.
471
00:19:51,200 --> 00:19:54,010
Zorgon: He's a vegeton!
472
00:19:54,050 --> 00:19:56,140
Libido: But daddy,
this is year 2226.
473
00:19:56,180 --> 00:19:59,000
Zorgon: I don't
care what year it is.
474
00:19:59,040 --> 00:20:00,140
Take him away.
475
00:20:02,100 --> 00:20:04,070
Libido: Bee bee bee bee
bee bee bee bee bee bee...
476
00:20:04,110 --> 00:20:05,190
Zorgon: Stop that!
477
00:20:07,120 --> 00:20:08,200
Guard: We're arriving
on asteroid rumbar.
478
00:20:08,220 --> 00:20:12,090
Emperor zorgon will see you now.
479
00:20:12,130 --> 00:20:14,230
Betty: What if we never
see you again, Adam?
480
00:20:15,030 --> 00:20:17,010
Quark: Be brave, Bettys.
Even if gene and Andy
481
00:20:17,050 --> 00:20:19,190
don't get through, there's
always libido and ficus.
482
00:20:19,230 --> 00:20:22,070
I'm sure the gun will be
underneath the throne.
483
00:20:22,110 --> 00:20:25,130
Besides, palindrome probably
has a squadron of starships
484
00:20:25,170 --> 00:20:27,140
combing the galaxy
for us right now.
485
00:20:27,180 --> 00:20:29,100
Head: I have just
talked to the commander
486
00:20:29,140 --> 00:20:32,150
of the goodwill ship abeltro.
487
00:20:32,190 --> 00:20:33,200
He says he is no longer
488
00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:35,140
filled with goodwill.
489
00:20:35,180 --> 00:20:37,200
He is filled with garbage.
490
00:20:38,000 --> 00:20:39,120
Palindrome: Garbage. Oh, sir,
491
00:20:39,140 --> 00:20:41,070
I've always enjoyed
your sense of humor.
492
00:20:41,110 --> 00:20:42,200
Such wit, such brilliance.
493
00:20:43,000 --> 00:20:44,040
Head: Where is quark?
494
00:20:44,080 --> 00:20:45,120
Palindrome: Oh, well, sir,
495
00:20:45,160 --> 00:20:46,440
we've been trying to get to you.
496
00:20:47,020 --> 00:20:50,030
It seems quark
has... Disappeared.
497
00:20:50,070 --> 00:20:52,090
Head: Disappeared? Palindrome,
498
00:20:52,130 --> 00:20:56,130
you are suspended
until you find quark.
499
00:20:56,170 --> 00:20:58,290
Palindrome: Am I suspended
with or without privileges?
500
00:20:59,000 --> 00:21:00,190
In other words, can I get
to keep my life support unit,
501
00:21:00,210 --> 00:21:02,120
my long-distance
telescreens, etc., or am I
502
00:21:02,160 --> 00:21:04,070
cut off altogether?
503
00:21:05,140 --> 00:21:07,140
Ah. Well, well,
504
00:21:07,180 --> 00:21:09,150
we'll talk about it later.
505
00:21:09,190 --> 00:21:11,070
[Beeping]
506
00:21:11,110 --> 00:21:13,170
Oh, I wish I was dead.
507
00:21:16,230 --> 00:21:18,110
Guard: Two minutes to
landing, your highness.
508
00:21:18,150 --> 00:21:22,150
Zorgon: Two minutes
to landing! Ah! Ha ha!
509
00:21:22,190 --> 00:21:24,060
Did you hear that,
quark? Quark: Yes.
510
00:21:24,100 --> 00:21:27,000
Zorgon: I believe in you, quark.
511
00:21:27,040 --> 00:21:28,160
If you say that it is there,
512
00:21:28,190 --> 00:21:32,060
I have every faith
in your judgment.
513
00:21:32,100 --> 00:21:35,000
Of course, if it's not
there, I'll have to kill you.
514
00:21:35,040 --> 00:21:36,130
You understand my
position, don't you?
515
00:21:36,150 --> 00:21:37,180
Quark: Of course.
516
00:21:37,220 --> 00:21:39,230
[Sizzling]
517
00:21:43,000 --> 00:21:45,090
Man: A man who has
traveled from very far away
518
00:21:45,130 --> 00:21:47,000
at great expense
519
00:21:47,040 --> 00:21:51,020
to explain the
inner workings of it.
520
00:21:51,060 --> 00:21:54,030
A man who needs no introduction.
521
00:21:54,070 --> 00:21:56,020
Professor markof.
522
00:22:01,150 --> 00:22:04,160
Andy: There's no
way out. We're goners.
523
00:22:04,200 --> 00:22:06,160
Man: Professor,
they're all yours.
524
00:22:06,200 --> 00:22:09,040
Gene: Thank you. Thank you.
525
00:22:09,080 --> 00:22:14,040
Well, hello, and hi.
I suppose what y'all
526
00:22:14,080 --> 00:22:17,050
really want to
hear about is... Is it.
527
00:22:17,090 --> 00:22:20,090
Well, the first thing I
should discuss with you
528
00:22:20,130 --> 00:22:24,000
is the... the spelling of it.
529
00:22:24,040 --> 00:22:28,120
I spell it... I-t.
530
00:22:28,160 --> 00:22:31,030
Andy: You are dying.
531
00:22:31,070 --> 00:22:33,010
Zorgon: Look at the
telescreen, quark.
532
00:22:33,050 --> 00:22:34,190
Quark: Why are
you doing that again?
533
00:22:34,210 --> 00:22:36,230
Man: Touchdown -15 seconds.
534
00:22:37,030 --> 00:22:39,200
Zorgon: It had
better be there, quark.
535
00:22:40,000 --> 00:22:42,020
Quark, voice-over: Did
ficus get the gamma gun?
536
00:22:42,060 --> 00:22:43,090
Let me see.
537
00:22:43,130 --> 00:22:45,030
Not so fast, zorgon.
538
00:22:45,070 --> 00:22:46,230
Zorgon: Oh? Why not?
539
00:22:47,030 --> 00:22:49,010
Quark: Why not?
540
00:22:49,050 --> 00:22:50,120
Why not? Why not?
541
00:22:50,160 --> 00:22:52,020
[Music playing]
542
00:22:52,060 --> 00:22:53,110
Because I think you'll learn to
543
00:22:53,130 --> 00:22:55,000
live a little longer if you,
544
00:22:55,040 --> 00:22:58,030
you know, take life slower.
545
00:22:58,070 --> 00:23:00,080
That's... that's...
that's right.
546
00:23:00,120 --> 00:23:02,030
Zorgon: Well, thank
you very much, quark,
547
00:23:02,070 --> 00:23:04,030
for your concern, but
i'm in excellent health.
548
00:23:04,070 --> 00:23:07,150
[Music playing] I see
you found my music box.
549
00:23:07,190 --> 00:23:09,150
It's brought me so much joy.
550
00:23:09,190 --> 00:23:12,050
Put it down. [Music stops]
551
00:23:12,090 --> 00:23:13,100
[Music box clatters]
552
00:23:15,050 --> 00:23:16,730
Quark, voice-over:
Star note. Ficus did not
553
00:23:17,030 --> 00:23:18,130
get the gamma gum.
554
00:23:18,170 --> 00:23:20,230
My life is over.
I've enjoyed it.
555
00:23:24,190 --> 00:23:26,200
[Sizzling]
556
00:23:30,180 --> 00:23:32,040
Zorgon: Are all conditions
according to legend?
557
00:23:32,080 --> 00:23:34,110
Guard: The equinox
is fast approaching.
558
00:23:34,150 --> 00:23:37,020
The constellation loopy
is aligned with delure
559
00:23:37,060 --> 00:23:39,190
and the planet
poo poo is rising.
560
00:23:44,170 --> 00:23:48,070
Zorgon: Congratulations,
quark! It's here!
561
00:23:48,110 --> 00:23:50,200
Quark: It is? Are you sure?
562
00:23:51,000 --> 00:23:53,020
Zorgon: Yes. Just as
you said it would be.
563
00:23:53,060 --> 00:23:56,040
Quark, voice-over: Star note.
I don't even know what it is.
564
00:23:56,080 --> 00:23:58,090
Zorgon: Now that I
have it, all the galaxy
565
00:23:58,130 --> 00:24:00,040
will cower at my feet.
566
00:24:00,080 --> 00:24:03,010
The gorgons will rule
over all the planets.
567
00:24:03,050 --> 00:24:05,170
We'll destroy the
head and perma one
568
00:24:05,210 --> 00:24:09,100
and replace them with
the rule of a high gorgon.
569
00:24:09,140 --> 00:24:14,140
And quark, it's all
because of you!
570
00:24:14,190 --> 00:24:18,740
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