All language subtitles for I Dream of Jeannie S03E25 (Operation - First Couple on the Moon)

"NASA announced
that women applicants

"will be interviewed today
for the new space program

"that will send an American
man-and-woman team of astronauts

as the first couple
on the moon."

Why did you not tell me

that you were going to
the moon with a woman?

Slipped my mind.

Well, I hope you have
a very enjoyable dinner

with your lady astronaut.

Uh, do you really wanna
know why I didn't tell you?

No. No?

Mm-mm. What is it?

Oh, well, I'm trying to
get out of the project.

Are you really? Yeah.

Why?

Well, who wants
to go to the moon

with a female Louis Pasteur?

Oh, I remember
Professor Pasteur.

He had a darling beard. Yeah.

Have you ever seen any of
these lady scientists? Forget it.

Would you like me to help you
get out of the project, master?

No, no. I'll handle it myself,
thank you. Thank you.

Have a good day.

Oh.

Oh, sister, you surprised me.

You surprise me
even more, darling.

Falling for that line about
a female Louis Pasteur.

What do you mean?

Sweetie pie,

the day of the
horn-rimmed glasses,

long tweed skirt
and flat shoes is over.

Nowadays, they wear minismocks.

Oh.

In a laboratory?

Well, that's why so
many labs have blown up.

The men scientists keep
dropping their test tubes.

You mean to say my master
will be living on the moon

with a beautiful girl?

Mm-hm.

Well, what will I do?

Leave everything
to your big sister.

I'll make sure your master

doesn't get off that launch
pad with another woman.

Would you do that for me?

Darling, have I
ever let you down?

No.

It occurs to me, gentlemen,
that your anxieties

over this mission are
predicated on the fact

that the applicants
will turn out to be

dull, drab,
intellectual females.

Well, sir, based on
my past experience...

Well, now, major,
let me assure you

that the woman-scientist
image has changed.

The day of the
horn-rimmed glasses,

the long tweed skirt,

and the flat shoes is over.

Uh, honestly, sir,
based on my experience,

I really can't agree
with you there.

Oh, uh, send in the first
applicant, will you, please?

Dr. Bellows, I think that this
person ought to be trained

You'll see. in the same
procedures we are.

Doctor Bellows?

Yes. I'm Professor
Henrietta Swanson.

Oh, how do you do,
professor? How do you do?

Uh, this is Major Nelson.

Major Nelson.

How do you do?

And Major Healey.

How do you do, Major Healey?

I see by your application
that you're teaching, uh,

nuclear physics
at Carver College.

Yes, that's right.

Good, may I take your coat?

Hey, I'll take it. I'll take it.

Oh.

Would you mind telling me
the address of Carver College?

Well, you see, on my lunch hour,

I moonlight as a
cocktail waitress.

Why don't I take the professor

to the lunar mock-up and
show her the base operation.

Uh, let's not be
premature, major.

Uh, I'm afraid I have to
get back to the restaurant.

Well, I haven't eaten
yet. I'll drive you.

Major Healey, remember we
have another applicant to screen.

Thank you very much,
Professor Swanson.

Thank you. We'll let you know.

Professor Swanson, is
that...? We'll let you know.

Thank you. We'll let you know.

Thank you very
much. Don't get cold.

Nuclear physicist, eh?

I don't think we need
to look any further, sir.

I think that this woman
probably needs...

Now, let me remind you that
we need two women, major.

One for the backup team.

I wonder what yours
is going to look like?

Excuse me.

I'm Dr. Rita Walters.
You must be Dr. Bellows.

Yes, how do you do, doctor?

Oh, excuse me,
this is Major Nelson.

How do you do, Dr. Walters?

And, uh, Major Healey. Hello.

Well, you certainly
come well-qualified.

Uh, B.A., B.S., M.A., PhD.

And I see by
records that you spent

a great deal of time
in the Middle East.

That's right, doctor.

I was very intrigued
by your hobbies.

Oh, really? What are they?

Oh... carpet-making
and... flying.

Now, before we
make the final pairings

of teams in this project,

we'll conduct a series of tests.

Since the man and woman
who'll land on the moon

will be totally isolated
from the rest of the universe,

it is extremely important
that they be compatible.

I don't think
there's any question

about the professor and
I being compatible, sir.

She moonlights as
a cocktail waitress

and, uh, I moonlight
in cocktail lounges.

The computer will make the
proper decision, Major Healey.

I'm counting on it.

We all are.

Now, then, these are
very simple questions,

and I'll ask that you
make your response

on the cards in front of you.

First question.

If, uh, you were furnishing a
house, what style would you use?

Early American, contemporary,

Danish modern or
French provincial.

Major Healey.

Have you answered that question?

Good. Second question.

Now, what is your favorite dog?

German shepherd, French poodle,

English sheepdog or
Mexican Chihuahua?

No humming.

Oh, ladies and gentlemen, the
results are now coming through.

Oh, boy, are we going to
have a lot of fun on the moon.

Uh, ask the machine
what time we leave, huh?

Now, uh, as for the
type of furnishing,

Professor Swanson, you
answered early American.

And Major Healey, you
answered French provincial.

Wait a minute. I didn't
hum French provincial.

I love early American. I
am an early American.

Tell them, don't I have an old
spinning wheel in the parlor?

From these cards,
it would appear that

Major Nelson and
Professor Swanson

are the more compatible team.

The final selection will be made

after the physical fitness test.

A physical fitness test?

Woman applicant who
demonstrates the best coordination

and physical fitness will be on

your number one
team, Major Nelson.

And the other will be on the
backup team with Major Healey.

Dr. Bellows, that's unfair. Oh?

Well, you see, I was

the national women's
gymnastic champion in college.

And what about you, Dr. Walters?

Hm? Oh, I was a
97-pound weakling, darling.

Now, then, ladies,

our first test will be chin-ups.

Professor Swanson,
you first, please.

Would you like to
try now, Dr. Walters?

Very good. And now we'll
move over to the basketball court.

Yeah, we're going to be playing
a lot of basketball on the moon.

A lot of basketball. Yeah.

Well, we'll now test
your coordination, ladies

by each of you attempting
to sink some baskets.

Professor Swanson, you first.

Very good.

Thank you. Very good.

And now, Dr. Walters,
if you please.

Well, I've never
done this before,

but it looks like it's a gas.

Excellent,
Dr. Walters. Excellent.

And now, uh, if
we'll just go... Oh.

Excuse me.

Well, congratulations,
Dr. Walters,

you've just been chosen
to train with Major Nelson

in our simulated lunar house.

Well... That is if
the Olympic team

doesn't steal you away from us.

Oh, believe me, no one's going
to steal me from Major Nelson.

I have some
marvelous plans for us.

Say, how did you do that
anyway? I gave it a try myself...

Oh, excuse me, Major Nelson.
This is your new teammate.

Oh, welcome aboard, Dr. Walters.

Well, at least you get a nice
consolation prize, professor.

Oh, what's that, major?

Me.

Well, gentlemen, we have
some additional work in my office.

Ladies, we'll see
you tomorrow at 8:00.

Yes, uh, tomorrow
at 8:00, professor.

Sister?

Oh, well, look who's here.

You look worried, pet.

I am.

Did you not say you'd keep
women off the launch pad

with my master? That's right.

They have just selected you
to go on this project with him.

Oh, yes, but I'm not another
woman. I'm your sister.

But you will go to the
moon with my master.

Oh, don't be such
a square, darling.

The moon is a dull lump of clay.

Oh, you mean you
will not go there?

I wouldn't be caught dead there.

The really swinging
planet is Venus.

Yes? Oh, hi, come on in.

Good evening, major.

Hi, Tony. Good evening.

What can I do for you?

We're just on our way to dinner.

We wanted to ask you to join us.

Didn't we, major?

Oh, I... Really, I couldn't.

Tell him you insist
he join us for dinner.

She wants me to tell you I
insist you join us for dinner.

That's the most gracious
invitation I've ever had

but really I'm sorry, I can't.

You can't?

Oh. Oh, that's great.
It's part of the program.

We want to see if we're
compatible for dinner.

Quick thinking.

I'll get it. So
you're going out?

Yeah? Major Nelson.

Yes? They told me at NASA

I might find Professor
Swanson here.

Professor Swan...
Oh, yes. Professor?

Yes? Sugar.

Turk. What are you doing here?

I stopped by to see who
you're going to the moon with.

Not me. Him.

Oh, well, I'm just part
of the runner-up team.

We'll probably never
get off the ground.

Major Healey, Major Nelson,
this is my fiancé, Turk Parker.

Turk Parker. The
All-Pro linebacker?

That's right.

Well, how do you do?

Uh, Major Healey and I
were just on our way to dinner.

Yeah, well, I have a good
idea. Why don't you join us?

I have a better idea.

Why don't you join us?

That's a better idea.

Uh, you know, you could
tell Turk all about the project.

Well, look, it's a
little late and I forgot

I had another dinner engagement.
I think I'll just go home...

I have one question I
would like to answer now.

Well, what's that?

What happens when you
and my girl get to the moon?

Oh, we, uh, plan to read a lot.

I'm going to the library
to pick up some books.

What about dinner, Roger? Bye.

I'm sorry, he gets like this.

Good night, major.

It's been a pleasure
meeting you, Turk.

Major Nelson?

Thanks. It's been a pleasure.

Ooh. Jeannie?

Jeannie. Oh, master?

I've got something
to tell you, young lady.

Dr. Walters is my sister.

Dr. Walters is your sister?

Yes. Yeah.

Well, you knew about it?

You asked her to do
this? Oh, no, master.

Well, it won't
work. She can't go.

The whole point of this
project is to put two people

on the moon together.
See what'll happen.

And she's not a
people, she's a genie.

No, master. You start blinking.

You get her out
of this right away.

No, master.

What do you mean,
no? Well, I cannot.

Why not?

Well, it does not
work on genies.

Well, something better work
or she's gonna be with me

in that lunar house
for three whole months.

Lunar house? Yeah...

Well, it's a room
where they lock us up.

And she cannot
get out? That's right.

Well, that is the answer.
What? What's the answer?

Genies are afraid
of being bottled up.

The moment she discovers
that she cannot get out,

she will be terrified.

She'll panic and they'll
wash her out of the project.

I certainly hope so, master

or I am afraid you are going
to be swinging on Venus.

What?

This morning, we'll have you

familiarize yourselves
with the lunar house.

Zulu, Able, Foxtrot.

This is, uh, the lunar mock-up.

I'll be transmitting
on 122.8 VHF.

In order to orient yourselves,
I think it'd be a good idea

to, uh, test out your equipment.

Major Nelson, see that the panel
board and the electronic devices

are all functioning properly.

Oh, any questions?

Uh, yes. Dr. Bellows?

Uh, yes, major?

In case of panic,

do you want me to
abort the mission?

Well, you do have a
panic button on the panel.

But I'm sure that it won't
be necessary to use it.

Oh, of course not,
sir. I was just checking.

Oh, is there really
a panic button?

Uh, don't worry, uh,

we'll never have to use it.

Kind of snug in here, isn't it?

Yes, isn't it heaven?

Get off.

You know, a person could get

claustrophobia
in a place like this.

Just think, after three months,

when the project is over,
we'll spend three months here.

Three whole months.
Yes, it's truly heaven.

Fight it, fight it.

Oh, fight what, darling?

Well, the...

The panic... The panic
that you're feeling now

from being all
bottled up, I'm sure...

I'm not feeling panicky.

Oh, yes, you are. I
can see it in your eyes.

Oh, oh. Major Baby.

Now, listen, just
fight it, will you?

I... I... I know it's
awfully hard but it's...

You're losing
your cool, darling.

I'm losing my cool?

You're the one
that's losing your cool.

Prof. Swanson, I
want you to notice

calm is the most
important ingredient.

Yes, I can see that, doctor.

Major Nelson, what's
the matter with you?

I... I... Wait a
minute. Dr. Bellows?

Dr. Bellows, I've got a
hysterical woman on my hands.

Isn't he darling?

Major, do you want me to
scrub the operation for today?

No. No, no, no. Don't
scrub the mission.

Everything's gonna be fine.

Carry on.

Lie down, darling, and
relax. You're losing your cool.

No, I'm not losing my cool.

You just close those
baby blues and go to sleep.

Now, now, now, wait a
minute. Wait a minute.

I... I... I think we
ought to, uh...

We ought to take a look
at some of our equipment.

♪ Lullaby ♪

♪ Dee-dee-dee ♪

Now, wait a minute.

You're sure you're not
getting a closed-in feeling?

All I feel is togetherness.

Ah!

We're gonna test your
breaking point, doctor.

Woo, groovy.

Yeah.

Okay. Up you go.

Ah! Ah!

Major Nelson, where are you?

He's up there.

Dr. Walters, what's
he doing up there?

What are you doing
up there, Major Baby?

Tell him I'm testing
the weightlessness.

Oh, he's testing weightlessness.

It's too early for that. Get
him down immediately.

Dr. Walters, what in
the world is happening?

I was just trying to
get Major... Oh. Oh!

Go to the panel board and
press the vacuum pressure button.

Aha. Yea, daddy.

I don't think this is right.

Hello, Dr. Bellows.

She didn't fall apart.

I fell apart.

I cannot understand it.

I was sure she
would be terrified

of being alone
in a closed place.

No, she wasn't the
least bit terrified.

Alone? Mm.

Oh, she was never
alone for a second.

I was her security blanket.

You gotta get her
bottled up and out

before she ruins
the whole project.

But if she suddenly disappears.

How are you going
to explain it to NASA?

Well, I won't have
to explain it to NASA.

Because she is not
suddenly gonna disappear.

Oh, listen...

You sent for me, major?

Oh, yes, Dr. Walters.

I, uh, thought since
we're both in the project

we might as well spend as
much time as possible together.

Groovy.

Yes. Um, physical
fitness is a key factor.

We've got to keep our
bodies in good shape.

Mm-hm. Yes.

Well, one of our bodies
is in good shape already.

Yes.

Now, the first thing we
ought to do is start practicing

on the lunar landing chute.

What is the lunar landing chute?

Oh, well, it's this right here.

You see, when we
land on the moon

we'll have to get to the surface
through a tube similar to this.

Well, well, what will
they think of next?

Yeah. Do you want
to try it on for size?

Uh, no. No, it's not my bag.

You're not afraid, are you?

No, no, no.

Well, go ahead, try it
on. I'll be right behind you.

Oh, you'll be in
the tube with me.

Sure, sure.

Oh. Well, that's a
whole other scene.

Go ahead.

Oh, look.

Major Nelson.

Ah!

Hello, Dr. Bellows, how are you?

May I ask what you're
doing with that trash can?

I'm throwing it out, sir.

Well, I know that, but why?

Well, it's classified trash,
and it should be thrown out

by a classified man who's
classified to throw out

the classified trash.
Do I make myself clear?

All of our janitors have
security clearances.

They haven't come
on duty yet, sir.

They don't come on until 6:00.

And I thought I'd just
tidy up the gymnasium.

You show me a clean gymnasium,
I'll show you a clean astronaut.

Well, Major Nelson,
where's Dr. Walters?

Dr. Walters. Oh, Dr. Walters...?

Sorry I'm late to... Ah!

Dr. Walters. Here's Dr. Walters.

I want you both to report
to the lunar house at 1600.

Yes. Right, sir. We'll
be there at 1600.

Right.

Jeannie, hey, you
made it just in time.

You... Wh...? Now, you
are Jeannie, aren't you?

I mean, I really can't tell...

Yes, you can.

Yeah, you're my Jeannie.

We'll have another go with
lunar house familiarization.

And this time, Major
Nelson, try to exercise

a little more self-control.

I think everything will
be just fine this time, sir.

Oh, you do not have
to worry about him.

Listen, I want you
to wait a few minutes

and then really crack up.

Oh, must I, master?

Jeannie, it's the
only way we're gonna

get Dr. Walters
out of the project.

But now that I am here I
am thinking how wonderful

it would be to be alone
with you on the moon.

Jeannie, the whole
idea of the project

is to put a man and a
woman on the moon together,

now, you're not a woman.

That's beside the point.

What is going on, Major Nelson?
We keep losing our picture.

Please, master.

I will keep house for you on
the moon just like we do on Earth.

We've just lost the audio too.

Would you go over
there and sit down?

Now, Dr. Bellows, I think
I've found the problem.

Oh, master.

Jeannie!

Oh, master, what are you doing?

Pull the switch! What switch?

The red one. Which? Oh.

Yes, master. Do not
worry. Do not worry.

Major Nelson, what's going
on? What's happening?

Jeannie! Ah!

Thank you, Dr. Walters.

Uh, Dr. Bellows, I think
we've remedied the situation.

Incredible.

It just shows you never know
how things are gonna work out.

We're gonna have
to find a replacement.

Gee, that's too bad.

I hope you weren't
too disappointed, sir.

I am sure you will be able to
find someone to replace me.

Replace you? Oh,
my dear Dr. Walters,

you're going to the moon.

I'm replacing Major Nelson.

It's bad enough they washed
me out of the moon project.

But they could have washed me
out of the whole NASA program.

I told you I was sorry, master.

Yeah.

Tony. Yeah?

Good news.

They're giving
me a court-martial.

No, no, the whole operation

First Couple to the
Moon has been scrubbed.

No kidding? No kidding.

Well, did they give
an explanation for it?

No, Dr. Bellows
says something about

the American man and woman

has deep-seated
male-female hostilities.

They have overly
complicated libido problems

and they can't resolve
the Oedipus complex.

And the linebacker punched
Dr. Bellows in the nose.

You're kidding.

But I'll tell you what,
listen, the captain barge

is throwing a party
tonight and he has

his two twin sisters there?

Wants me to bring
you. You think...?

I'll get my hat. Yeah.

Tell you what, you think
we should bring two cars?

You had better go
without him, major.

He will be hanging around
the house this evening.

Yeah. Yeah.

Would you...? Jeannie,
would you stop?

Would you...? Would you...?