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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:19,371 --> 00:01:23,842 ♫ 2 00:02:53,999 --> 00:02:56,878 - Ian, please! Could you just calm down? 3 00:02:56,902 --> 00:02:58,176 - He did not know I took the car. 4 00:02:58,203 --> 00:02:59,876 He will be absolutely fucking furious. 5 00:02:59,904 --> 00:03:01,315 - Your dad doesn't have to find out. 6 00:03:01,339 --> 00:03:02,784 We can come back and get it tomorrow 7 00:03:02,807 --> 00:03:04,218 when we have the keys! 8 00:03:04,242 --> 00:03:06,586 - Fuck! 9 00:03:24,863 --> 00:03:26,342 Don't even think for half a second 10 00:03:26,364 --> 00:03:29,140 you're going to break open that car, mate. 11 00:03:29,167 --> 00:03:32,410 So get out of my face. 12 00:03:41,112 --> 00:03:43,820 What are you fucking looking at? 13 00:03:43,848 --> 00:03:46,795 Stop looking at my girlfriend, midget! 14 00:03:46,818 --> 00:03:48,388 - Ian, please! 15 00:03:48,420 --> 00:03:49,626 - You want to fucky-fucky her? 16 00:03:49,654 --> 00:03:51,292 No way in hell, 'cause let me tell you, 17 00:03:51,323 --> 00:03:52,768 there's only one guy who fucks her, 18 00:03:52,791 --> 00:03:54,065 and I fuck her real good, 19 00:03:54,092 --> 00:03:56,265 so go home and fuck mom now, you demented dwarf! 20 00:04:21,720 --> 00:04:24,701 No, please! 21 00:04:26,157 --> 00:04:28,797 Please, no! 22 00:04:31,563 --> 00:04:32,974 No, please! 23 00:04:32,998 --> 00:04:34,136 Please, plea... 24 00:04:34,165 --> 00:04:35,735 Don't! 25 00:04:35,767 --> 00:04:38,509 Ian! 26 00:09:09,107 --> 00:09:11,781 - Hey, I hope you're not time-wasting, you. 27 00:09:11,809 --> 00:09:14,483 I've got a dozen people waiting to look at this place, 28 00:09:14,512 --> 00:09:16,458 most of them paying cash as well. 29 00:09:16,481 --> 00:09:18,654 You got cash? 30 00:09:18,683 --> 00:09:22,893 Right, the light switch is somewhere here I think. 31 00:09:49,047 --> 00:09:51,618 - Hey, come on, let's get this fucking lease signed, hey? 32 00:12:19,363 --> 00:12:21,172 - Hi, this is Marc from USA Actors Management 33 00:12:21,199 --> 00:12:23,110 regarding your audition request for our clients 34 00:12:23,134 --> 00:12:24,374 Miss Williams and Mr. Kitamura 35 00:12:24,402 --> 00:12:25,938 from Human Centipede. 36 00:12:25,970 --> 00:12:28,211 Neither is available for the auditions in London right now 37 00:12:28,239 --> 00:12:29,616 because they're shooting a movie, 38 00:12:29,640 --> 00:12:30,812 but thank you for the interest. 39 00:12:30,842 --> 00:12:32,378 Maybe We can do something in the future. 40 00:12:32,410 --> 00:12:33,980 Good-bye. 41 00:13:11,015 --> 00:13:13,655 - Stop them tears. 42 00:13:13,684 --> 00:13:17,598 You're just making Daddy's Willy harder. 43 00:13:32,603 --> 00:13:34,105 Oh, my God. 44 00:13:34,138 --> 00:13:36,140 Have you shit yourself again? 45 00:13:36,174 --> 00:13:38,518 You swine. 46 00:13:38,543 --> 00:13:40,682 I've called Dr. Sebring, and he's waiting. 47 00:13:40,711 --> 00:13:43,123 Get up! 48 00:15:52,209 --> 00:15:54,211 Hello, Martin. 49 00:16:49,633 --> 00:16:50,839 Mmm. 50 00:17:01,512 --> 00:17:04,083 Martin... 51 00:17:04,115 --> 00:17:05,560 come and join us. 52 00:17:35,479 --> 00:17:39,291 Well.. 53 00:17:39,316 --> 00:17:42,923 Martin, I have your Ventolin. 54 00:17:52,229 --> 00:17:54,800 Martin, I'm here today 55 00:17:54,832 --> 00:17:57,836 because your mother is very worried about you. 56 00:17:57,868 --> 00:18:00,314 - He keeps on talking about a centipede 57 00:18:00,337 --> 00:18:02,339 with 12 people. 58 00:18:02,373 --> 00:18:05,877 What does that mean? 59 00:18:10,281 --> 00:18:12,852 - Now, let's see. 60 00:18:15,953 --> 00:18:19,366 A centipede can be considered a phallic symbol. 61 00:18:19,390 --> 00:18:21,927 Centipedes are very aggressive creatures. 62 00:18:21,959 --> 00:18:24,838 Their bite can be very painful. 63 00:18:24,862 --> 00:18:30,141 Maybe he is connecting the pain that a centipede inflicts 64 00:18:30,167 --> 00:18:31,874 with the pain inflicted on him 65 00:18:31,902 --> 00:18:36,681 through years of psychological and sexual abuse by his father. 66 00:18:39,210 --> 00:18:41,486 - I miss my husband. 67 00:18:46,717 --> 00:18:52,395 And it's your fault that he's in prison! 68 00:18:52,423 --> 00:18:56,735 - Sometimes people that are mentally challenged 69 00:18:56,760 --> 00:19:04,269 and have a history of sexual abuse... 70 00:19:04,301 --> 00:19:08,010 mutilate their own sexual organs. 71 00:19:19,783 --> 00:19:21,763 I'm sorry. I going to have to go. 72 00:19:21,785 --> 00:19:24,197 There's nothing to worry about. 73 00:19:24,221 --> 00:19:26,667 I'm sure it's just a passing phase. 74 00:19:26,690 --> 00:19:28,567 Hmm? 75 00:19:32,630 --> 00:19:35,270 Martin. 76 00:19:35,299 --> 00:19:39,543 Ah. You're a good boy. 77 00:19:39,570 --> 00:19:41,572 Mrs. Lomax. 78 00:20:02,126 --> 00:20:06,597 - I've decided to kill us both. 79 00:20:09,633 --> 00:20:13,604 ♫ 80 00:20:13,637 --> 00:20:17,084 This music is driving me crazy! 81 00:20:20,845 --> 00:20:22,916 I can't stand this any more! 82 00:20:55,312 --> 00:20:58,054 He can't stand it any more! 83 00:21:00,517 --> 00:21:02,554 Come on, tell him. 84 00:21:02,586 --> 00:21:07,467 Be a man like your father. 85 00:21:07,491 --> 00:21:10,438 - Stop fucking bothering me, you retard. 86 00:21:10,461 --> 00:21:14,273 I play my fucking music as loud as I fucking want, okay? 87 00:21:14,298 --> 00:21:16,835 - Kill us both. I'm begging you. 88 00:21:16,867 --> 00:21:20,007 - Shut your fucking mouth, you old cunt. 89 00:21:20,037 --> 00:21:23,644 What the fuck? 90 00:21:26,877 --> 00:21:28,788 - I will play my music so fucking loud, 91 00:21:28,812 --> 00:21:30,519 it's going to make your fucking ears bleed 92 00:21:30,547 --> 00:21:31,719 you cock-sucking dwarf. 93 00:21:31,749 --> 00:21:33,660 Next time, you batter that fucking ceiling, 94 00:21:33,684 --> 00:21:37,894 I'm gonna come down and break your fucking neck, 95 00:21:37,921 --> 00:21:39,127 Fuck! 96 00:21:39,156 --> 00:21:41,158 Fucking little cocksucker. 97 00:21:41,191 --> 00:21:43,637 Don't fucking bang that fucking ceiling 98 00:21:43,661 --> 00:21:46,073 any-fucking-more, okay? 99 00:21:46,096 --> 00:21:49,100 You cock-sucking retard! 100 00:22:16,493 --> 00:22:19,497 - The lips from B and C 101 00:22:19,530 --> 00:22:25,970 and the anus of A and B are out circular 102 00:22:26,003 --> 00:22:31,112 along the border between skin and mucosa, 103 00:22:31,141 --> 00:22:35,487 the mucus cutaneous zone... 104 00:22:35,512 --> 00:22:39,289 the circular mucosa and skin parts 105 00:22:39,316 --> 00:22:45,733 of anus and mouth from A to B and B to C. 106 00:22:45,756 --> 00:22:49,260 Connecting the pedicellated grafts 107 00:22:49,293 --> 00:22:56,768 to the chin-cheek incisions from A to B, connected... 108 00:23:00,437 --> 00:23:04,112 Ingestion by A 109 00:23:04,141 --> 00:23:08,089 passing through B 110 00:23:08,112 --> 00:23:13,027 to the excretion of C. 111 00:23:16,420 --> 00:23:20,562 A human centipede... 112 00:23:20,591 --> 00:23:22,798 first sequence. 113 00:23:35,105 --> 00:23:37,105 ♫ 114 00:24:03,433 --> 00:24:06,676 - Will you give me a high five when we get there? 115 00:24:10,441 --> 00:24:12,443 - Hey. 116 00:25:09,333 --> 00:25:11,438 - Shh, shh. 117 00:27:35,712 --> 00:27:38,056 My lead. 118 00:27:38,081 --> 00:27:40,083 My lead. 119 00:27:40,117 --> 00:27:41,323 Hey, man. 120 00:27:42,452 --> 00:27:43,624 - Hey, man. 121 00:27:52,996 --> 00:27:55,203 - Ja, komm. 122 00:28:00,003 --> 00:28:01,880 Yeah! Yeah, come up here. 123 00:28:01,905 --> 00:28:04,044 Come up, oh, yeah! 124 00:28:04,074 --> 00:28:06,281 Yeah. Yeah! 125 00:28:06,309 --> 00:28:08,721 Very good! 126 00:28:08,745 --> 00:28:10,053 Yeah! 127 00:28:10,080 --> 00:28:12,026 I did ff!' 128 00:28:59,596 --> 00:29:01,940 - Whoo-hoo! 129 00:29:01,965 --> 00:29:04,104 - Why do these stupid things never work? 130 00:29:10,974 --> 00:29:12,112 - Oh, Valerie! 131 00:29:12,142 --> 00:29:14,645 It's that guy from the club! 132 00:29:25,889 --> 00:29:27,027 - Shh! There's... 133 00:29:28,358 --> 00:29:30,463 Babe, there's a midget wanking in there. 134 00:29:30,494 --> 00:29:31,939 - You are drunk, love. 135 00:29:31,962 --> 00:29:33,032 - No, seriously! 136 00:32:34,144 --> 00:32:35,646 - Hi, this is Arianne 137 00:32:35,679 --> 00:32:37,625 from Creative Acting Talent Management. 138 00:32:37,647 --> 00:32:39,320 You called us with an audition request 139 00:32:39,349 --> 00:32:40,851 for our client actress Miss Yennie 140 00:32:40,884 --> 00:32:42,056 from The Human Centipede. 141 00:32:42,085 --> 00:32:43,462 I just spoke to Miss Yennie, 142 00:32:43,486 --> 00:32:46,228 and she is very, very excited and available 143 00:32:46,256 --> 00:32:49,396 to fly to London to audition for the new Tarantino film. 144 00:32:49,426 --> 00:32:53,431 Could you please contact me ASAP on my cell phone, 145 00:32:53,463 --> 00:32:57,673 713-499-0913. 146 00:32:57,701 --> 00:33:00,944 Thanks. B ye-bye. 147 00:33:07,844 --> 00:33:11,883 - You can't do this. 148 00:33:11,915 --> 00:33:14,657 It's a film. 149 00:33:14,684 --> 00:33:21,329 The Human Centipede is a fucking film. 150 00:33:21,358 --> 00:33:25,067 He is going to stitch us up. 151 00:33:25,095 --> 00:33:29,202 He is going to stitch us up ass to mouth. 152 00:33:31,534 --> 00:33:33,036 Help! 153 00:33:35,038 --> 00:33:36,381 Help! 154 00:34:42,539 --> 00:34:44,917 - Stop them tears. 155 00:34:44,941 --> 00:34:48,548 You're just making Daddy's Willy harder. 156 00:35:25,482 --> 00:35:27,553 - What is this? 157 00:35:31,388 --> 00:35:35,530 100% medically accurate? 158 00:35:40,363 --> 00:35:42,570 Mouth to anus? 159 00:35:44,968 --> 00:35:47,209 One digestive system? 160 00:35:47,237 --> 00:35:51,208 Is this a perverted film you've been talking about? 161 00:37:58,334 --> 00:38:02,510 - I want all this filth out of my house! 162 00:39:51,981 --> 00:39:53,981 ♫ 163 00:40:19,609 --> 00:40:22,215 - Fuck! 164 00:40:25,715 --> 00:40:27,490 Doh! Fuckin' hell! 165 00:40:27,517 --> 00:40:28,689 Ahhhhh! 166 00:40:28,718 --> 00:40:29,924 Gahhh! 167 00:40:32,622 --> 00:40:34,260 Fuck! 168 00:40:34,290 --> 00:40:36,327 Oh, fuck! 169 00:40:48,905 --> 00:40:50,905 ♫ 170 00:41:48,464 --> 00:41:51,001 - Swallow it, bitch. 171 00:41:51,033 --> 00:41:54,776 Swallow up. 172 00:41:57,640 --> 00:41:59,449 - Feed her. 173 00:41:59,475 --> 00:42:02,046 Feed her! 174 00:42:02,078 --> 00:42:03,284 Ahhh! 175 00:42:29,705 --> 00:42:34,711 - That was fucking sensational. 176 00:42:34,744 --> 00:42:36,781 And you know what? 177 00:42:41,184 --> 00:42:42,629 Yeah. 178 00:42:42,652 --> 00:42:43,824 How you doing, doc? 179 00:42:48,157 --> 00:42:50,467 Oh, I rather fuck that retarded boy, 180 00:42:50,493 --> 00:42:52,996 but...this'll do. 181 00:42:53,029 --> 00:42:54,269 - I know a place in Thailand 182 00:42:54,297 --> 00:42:57,335 where they specialize in that sort of thing. 183 00:42:57,366 --> 00:42:59,243 Oh, yeah. 184 00:42:59,268 --> 00:43:01,771 Oh, yeah, she's a good one. 185 00:43:01,804 --> 00:43:04,182 - How much to fuck you up the arse, darling? 186 00:43:04,207 --> 00:43:08,986 - For you, darling, 50. 187 00:43:19,255 --> 00:43:20,632 - Jesus. 188 00:43:20,656 --> 00:43:22,499 Who the fuck are you? 189 00:43:22,525 --> 00:43:26,234 What the fuck have you done to yourself? 190 00:43:29,799 --> 00:43:32,143 That's right. Have a good stare. 191 00:43:32,168 --> 00:43:35,741 Have a good fucking stare, you little fucking pervert! 192 00:43:35,771 --> 00:43:37,546 Fuck off now 193 00:43:37,573 --> 00:43:40,577 before I get out of this car and smash your fucking face in! 194 00:43:40,610 --> 00:43:41,645 Don't! 195 00:43:53,289 --> 00:43:56,065 - No, please. Please! 196 00:44:14,977 --> 00:44:16,388 - Martin? 197 00:44:20,917 --> 00:44:26,390 Martin, it's me, Dr. Sebring. 198 00:44:29,725 --> 00:44:31,727 So... 199 00:44:31,761 --> 00:44:33,001 this is where you work. 200 00:44:37,066 --> 00:44:39,103 This isn't right, Martin. 201 00:44:39,135 --> 00:44:41,411 What you're doing, 202 00:44:41,437 --> 00:44:45,817 it's wrong. 203 00:44:45,841 --> 00:44:49,379 Martin, I can help you, 204 00:44:49,412 --> 00:44:54,725 but you have to put the gun down. 205 00:44:54,750 --> 00:44:57,390 Imagine what your father would say if... 206 00:45:03,993 --> 00:45:07,531 Martin, Martin, no, Martin! 207 00:46:16,866 --> 00:46:19,676 Please. 208 00:46:19,702 --> 00:46:21,648 I'll do anything you want. 209 00:46:21,671 --> 00:46:24,015 Please! 210 00:46:24,039 --> 00:46:27,509 I won't tell- I won't tell no one nothing. 211 00:46:27,543 --> 00:46:28,715 You fucking... 212 00:46:32,715 --> 00:46:36,128 Someone help me! 213 00:47:26,869 --> 00:47:29,611 - Hi, Martin, this is Arianne, Miss Yennie's manager. 214 00:47:29,638 --> 00:47:31,777 I Wanted to confirm that Miss Yennie is not delayed 215 00:47:31,807 --> 00:47:33,377 and will be landing this morning 216 00:47:33,409 --> 00:47:36,253 on London's Heathrow Airport at 6:00 am. your time. 217 00:47:36,278 --> 00:47:38,383 I understand your driver will be picking her up. 218 00:47:38,414 --> 00:47:39,859 I hope she does a great audition. 219 00:47:39,882 --> 00:47:42,453 Thanks. Thanks a lot. Bye-bye! 220 00:48:09,144 --> 00:48:11,681 - God, I cannot believe I am here 221 00:48:11,714 --> 00:48:15,184 auditioning for a Quentin Tarantino film. 222 00:48:15,217 --> 00:48:18,096 My agents are so excited about this. 223 00:48:21,423 --> 00:48:23,130 I should probably call them, 224 00:48:23,159 --> 00:48:26,800 tell them I landed and, you know, I'm on my way. 225 00:48:31,133 --> 00:48:32,578 - Have you seen The Human Centipede? 226 00:48:36,005 --> 00:48:37,484 - I was really drawn to the film 227 00:48:37,506 --> 00:48:39,110 because of the medical aspect of it. 228 00:48:39,141 --> 00:48:40,586 If you were a surgeon, 229 00:48:40,609 --> 00:48:43,112 you could actually perform that surgery. 230 00:48:43,145 --> 00:48:45,625 It's just so scary. 231 00:48:48,584 --> 00:48:50,791 It was so grueling being on all fours, 232 00:48:50,820 --> 00:48:53,528 so I demanded in my contract that I had to have 233 00:48:53,556 --> 00:48:55,297 an hour-long massage every night. 234 00:48:55,324 --> 00:48:58,203 I mean, why would I not demand that in my contract? 235 00:48:58,227 --> 00:49:00,173 Oh, and the rest of the cast, 236 00:49:00,196 --> 00:49:02,699 we all took showers before we shot the centipede stuff, 237 00:49:02,731 --> 00:49:05,439 because I mean, you're close to someone's butt, 238 00:49:05,468 --> 00:49:07,744 and you don't want to smell anything and... 239 00:49:07,770 --> 00:49:09,545 or, you know, whatever. 240 00:49:09,572 --> 00:49:11,074 I'm kind of a germaphobe. 241 00:49:11,106 --> 00:49:13,143 Um... 242 00:49:27,356 --> 00:49:30,735 Oh, that must be Quentin's car. 243 00:49:40,236 --> 00:49:41,909 Do you have an umbrella? 244 00:49:41,937 --> 00:49:45,578 Because this rain will ruin my hair. 245 00:49:46,608 --> 00:49:49,452 Okay. 246 00:49:51,580 --> 00:49:53,582 Oh! 247 00:54:17,012 --> 00:54:19,012 ♫ 248 01:03:33,201 --> 01:03:35,201 ♫ 249 01:04:09,504 --> 01:04:11,504 ♫ 250 01:07:32,840 --> 01:07:36,982 - Please, please. 251 01:07:37,011 --> 01:07:40,618 Please don't hurt me. 252 01:07:40,648 --> 01:07:42,594 Please. 253 01:07:42,617 --> 01:07:44,893 I'll do everything. 254 01:09:11,038 --> 01:09:13,644 - Hello, this Marc from USA Actors Management again. 255 01:09:13,674 --> 01:09:15,210 Please disregard my earlier message. 256 01:09:15,243 --> 01:09:17,018 Fortunately, Miss Williams and Mr. Kitamura 257 01:09:17,044 --> 01:09:18,580 were able to reschedule, 258 01:09:18,613 --> 01:09:20,684 and they're really, really excited to come to London 259 01:09:20,715 --> 01:09:21,989 for Mr. Tarantino's auditions. 260 01:09:22,016 --> 01:09:23,086 I hope it's still possible. 261 01:09:23,117 --> 01:09:24,425 I'm totally confident 262 01:09:24,452 --> 01:09:26,022 that they're gonna do very Well on this, 263 01:09:26,053 --> 01:09:27,657 so please call me back as soon as possible 264 01:09:27,688 --> 01:09:28,996 at this number to confirm. 265 01:09:29,023 --> 01:09:30,263 Thanks very, very much. 266 01:09:30,291 --> 01:09:32,066 Talk to you soon. Good-bye. 267 01:19:50,644 --> 01:19:51,918 - Ah! 268 01:29:44,404 --> 01:29:46,404 ♫ 18023