All language subtitles for The Simpsons - 29x16

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek Download
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,191 --> 00:00:05,191 Synced and corrected by BLuk www.addic7ed.com 2 00:00:08,586 --> 00:00:11,287 Okay, children, everyone pick an instrument. 3 00:00:11,322 --> 00:00:12,455 Doesn't matter which one. 4 00:00:12,490 --> 00:00:13,556 Everyone's gonna be bad. 5 00:00:13,591 --> 00:00:16,759 Eh, who cares? I'm union. 6 00:00:16,795 --> 00:00:19,896 I told you, I am not playing an instrument. 7 00:00:19,931 --> 00:00:22,198 You're playing an instrument. 8 00:00:22,233 --> 00:00:24,500 Mom, music is made by computers, 9 00:00:24,536 --> 00:00:28,204 not rusty metal you put in your... ugh... mouth. 10 00:00:28,239 --> 00:00:31,207 Look, your mom thinks that forcing you to do music 11 00:00:31,242 --> 00:00:33,409 in school will somehow make you into a different person 12 00:00:33,444 --> 00:00:36,078 than we all know you are... which it won't... so just do it, 13 00:00:36,114 --> 00:00:38,047 or I'll cut all your shorts into skirts. 14 00:00:38,082 --> 00:00:39,248 Fine. 15 00:00:39,284 --> 00:00:41,250 What about this stupid thing? 16 00:00:50,295 --> 00:00:52,028 Why don't you try this clarinet? 17 00:00:52,063 --> 00:00:54,697 It's like the recorder, but cooler. 18 00:01:01,339 --> 00:01:03,739 What about this hobo guitar? 19 00:01:10,248 --> 00:01:12,748 At least he was wearing a tuxedo. 20 00:01:12,784 --> 00:01:14,383 Now can we get out of here? 21 00:01:14,419 --> 00:01:16,485 The Wi-Fi sucks, and I'm trying to click through 22 00:01:16,521 --> 00:01:19,322 this slideshow of celebrities who let themselves go. 23 00:01:19,357 --> 00:01:22,325 Word is that number four is insane. 24 00:01:22,360 --> 00:01:24,227 And here's the form which says 25 00:01:24,262 --> 00:01:26,262 you're responsible for the instrument. 26 00:01:28,266 --> 00:01:32,602 So, if I break the violin, Homer has to pay? 27 00:01:32,637 --> 00:01:34,570 Homer has to pay? 28 00:01:34,606 --> 00:01:36,639 The school is lending your son an instrument 29 00:01:36,674 --> 00:01:39,041 that's worth $430. 30 00:01:42,947 --> 00:01:48,117 Violin, you and me are gonna make beautiful music together. 31 00:02:12,510 --> 00:02:15,144 Bart? Bart? 32 00:02:15,179 --> 00:02:17,546 $430 violin? 33 00:02:20,351 --> 00:02:23,753 If the beer's in a frosted mug, you're not an alcoholic, 34 00:02:23,788 --> 00:02:25,988 you're an aficionado. 35 00:02:26,024 --> 00:02:28,291 Hello, Father. 36 00:02:28,326 --> 00:02:30,226 Thank you for taking responsibility 37 00:02:30,261 --> 00:02:32,395 for this lovely instrument. 38 00:02:32,430 --> 00:02:34,330 I trust you find its music... 39 00:02:34,365 --> 00:02:36,933 soothing. 40 00:02:36,968 --> 00:02:38,968 Come on, dude, just leave me alone. 41 00:02:39,003 --> 00:02:41,804 I'm a good man. I've got kids! 42 00:02:41,839 --> 00:02:43,673 You're right, I've been too hard on you. 43 00:02:43,708 --> 00:02:45,474 Here you go. Catch. 44 00:02:56,955 --> 00:02:59,922 You. You. I took you into my home, 45 00:02:59,958 --> 00:03:01,791 and you've stolen everything from me. 46 00:03:01,826 --> 00:03:03,426 You know what this is? 47 00:03:03,461 --> 00:03:06,295 It's me playing the world's smallest violin. 48 00:03:12,870 --> 00:03:14,570 I'm free. I'm free. 49 00:03:14,605 --> 00:03:16,205 I'm finally free! 50 00:03:18,576 --> 00:03:20,576 Mwah! 51 00:03:20,611 --> 00:03:22,411 Where are you going? 52 00:03:22,447 --> 00:03:27,116 To do to my brain what I just did to your dreams for our son. 53 00:03:28,586 --> 00:03:30,720 Chug, chug, chug! 54 00:03:30,755 --> 00:03:32,722 Chug, chug, chug! 55 00:03:36,361 --> 00:03:40,396 The little engine that could... get me wasted. 56 00:03:40,431 --> 00:03:43,165 Yeah, everyone loves the ol' Disorient Express. 57 00:03:45,136 --> 00:03:46,802 Moe's Tavern. Moe speaking. 58 00:03:46,838 --> 00:03:49,105 What? You have the nerve to call me? 59 00:03:49,140 --> 00:03:51,240 Why don't you delete my number from your phone, 60 00:03:51,275 --> 00:03:52,875 then put the phone in a sock, 61 00:03:52,910 --> 00:03:54,477 and then beat yourself in the head 62 00:03:54,512 --> 00:03:58,147 till your face looks like motor lodge buffet eggs! 63 00:03:58,182 --> 00:04:00,149 Yeah, another prank call, huh? 64 00:04:00,184 --> 00:04:02,985 Who was it this time, uh, "Anita Manbone"? 65 00:04:03,021 --> 00:04:04,453 "Ivan Talickya"? 66 00:04:04,489 --> 00:04:06,188 Ooh, ooh, I got one. 67 00:04:06,224 --> 00:04:08,290 "John Rootbeer." 68 00:04:09,827 --> 00:04:11,127 Eh, it wasn't no prankster. 69 00:04:11,162 --> 00:04:13,262 It was someone I know all too well. 70 00:04:13,297 --> 00:04:15,631 - Oh, who? - Shut your stinkin' face-hole! 71 00:04:15,666 --> 00:04:17,867 That's who it was, okay?! Bar's closed! 72 00:04:17,902 --> 00:04:20,236 Everybody get out! Get out! 73 00:04:26,144 --> 00:04:29,111 Oh, stupid drunk breath. 74 00:04:29,147 --> 00:04:30,379 Ah. 75 00:04:32,316 --> 00:04:33,883 Oh, stupid drunk dog! 76 00:04:37,321 --> 00:04:40,423 Guess I'll have to order a ride on my smartphone. 77 00:04:42,660 --> 00:04:44,026 Get in. 78 00:04:45,663 --> 00:04:48,364 No mints? I should've just called Uber. 79 00:04:49,567 --> 00:04:51,634 Hey. What's with Moe? 80 00:04:51,669 --> 00:04:53,302 It's too late for the cockfights 81 00:04:53,337 --> 00:04:55,037 and too early for the rat fights. 82 00:04:55,073 --> 00:04:57,740 He's been extra psycho since he got that phone call. 83 00:04:57,775 --> 00:05:01,177 I just want to... 84 00:05:01,212 --> 00:05:03,546 Oh, it sounds like that time you lit the barbecue 85 00:05:03,581 --> 00:05:05,014 with a possum inside. 86 00:05:06,350 --> 00:05:08,150 Hmm, maybe we should follow him. 87 00:05:08,186 --> 00:05:09,785 Mm, you're the sober one. 88 00:05:09,821 --> 00:05:13,089 Call me, will you? Oh, I'll meet you, all right. 89 00:05:13,124 --> 00:05:14,690 I'll meet you good. 90 00:05:27,238 --> 00:05:28,737 I'll kill you. 91 00:05:28,773 --> 00:05:30,106 I'll kill you, you dirty mug! 92 00:05:30,141 --> 00:05:31,907 You've got to stop them. 93 00:05:34,445 --> 00:05:35,945 Let me go, huh? 94 00:05:35,980 --> 00:05:37,513 I'm one loafer smack away 95 00:05:37,548 --> 00:05:39,482 from tearing off his whole hair system! 96 00:05:39,517 --> 00:05:42,017 Why are you fighting with an old man? 97 00:05:42,053 --> 00:05:44,753 Because this old man... 98 00:05:44,789 --> 00:05:46,589 is my old man. 99 00:05:46,624 --> 00:05:49,125 Morty Szyslak. Nice to meet you. 100 00:05:49,160 --> 00:05:51,360 You mean nothing to me. Huh? 101 00:05:51,395 --> 00:05:54,697 All you are is a rotten old rib roast covered in cologne. 102 00:05:54,732 --> 00:05:56,465 You ungrateful punk. 103 00:05:56,501 --> 00:05:59,368 You're not worthy to walk through a cloud of my scent. 104 00:05:59,403 --> 00:06:01,036 I never should've called you. 105 00:06:01,072 --> 00:06:03,005 On that we agree. 106 00:06:04,442 --> 00:06:09,178 The saddest thing in the world is seeing a family broken apart. 107 00:06:11,916 --> 00:06:13,482 Drunk dog. 108 00:06:18,770 --> 00:06:21,103 Oh, I ain't seen my pops for years. 109 00:06:21,138 --> 00:06:23,706 After he called, I weakened and went to meet him. 110 00:06:23,741 --> 00:06:25,941 But one sniff of "Eau de Sportcoat," 111 00:06:25,977 --> 00:06:28,277 and my shoe was in my hand. 112 00:06:28,312 --> 00:06:31,847 How could you go so long without seeing your own father? 113 00:06:31,882 --> 00:06:34,783 Seriously, how'd you do it? It sounds amazing. 114 00:06:34,819 --> 00:06:36,218 Yeah, well, let me explain. 115 00:06:36,254 --> 00:06:39,054 You know how the world sees me as a... a... 116 00:06:39,090 --> 00:06:41,123 - Human toilet brush? - Bingo. 117 00:06:41,158 --> 00:06:43,759 Well, I'm the white sheep of my family. 118 00:06:43,794 --> 00:06:46,295 They're involved in a very evil business. 119 00:06:46,330 --> 00:06:48,530 - Illegal drugs? - No, worse. 120 00:06:48,566 --> 00:06:51,634 - Prescription drugs? - Oh, well, not that bad. 121 00:06:51,669 --> 00:06:55,337 The Szyslaks are... mattress salesmen. 122 00:06:55,373 --> 00:06:57,406 Eh, I know, I know. 123 00:06:57,441 --> 00:06:59,975 They're like mortgage brokers without the moral code. 124 00:07:00,011 --> 00:07:01,977 Charging people 1,200 bucks 125 00:07:02,013 --> 00:07:04,413 for what's essentially a big bag of hay. 126 00:07:10,421 --> 00:07:13,989 Growing up, it was me, my dad and my brother and sister. 127 00:07:14,025 --> 00:07:16,058 We were the biggest mattress chain in town, 128 00:07:16,093 --> 00:07:19,061 mainly thanks to our local TV ads. 129 00:07:19,096 --> 00:07:21,096 How does it...? 130 00:07:21,132 --> 00:07:22,298 There it is. 131 00:07:25,102 --> 00:07:27,069 Here ye, hear ye! 132 00:07:27,104 --> 00:07:30,072 I declare the best deals in all the land! 133 00:07:30,107 --> 00:07:32,775 And don't ye forget: no credit... 134 00:07:32,810 --> 00:07:34,543 No problem! 135 00:07:34,578 --> 00:07:36,278 So come on down to Mattress King, 136 00:07:36,314 --> 00:07:38,981 at any one of our many convenient locations. 137 00:07:40,484 --> 00:07:42,685 We'll have you sleeping on a new mattress 138 00:07:42,720 --> 00:07:44,787 - to... - Knight! 139 00:07:44,822 --> 00:07:47,056 - And cut. - Great work, kids. 140 00:07:47,091 --> 00:07:49,058 Everyone gets an onion. 141 00:07:51,062 --> 00:07:53,796 But there was another reason for our success, 142 00:07:53,831 --> 00:07:55,397 as I was about to learn. 143 00:07:55,433 --> 00:07:58,701 Son, your voice is finally gravelly enough 144 00:07:58,736 --> 00:08:02,538 for you to learn what it takes to survive in the sleep biz. 145 00:08:02,573 --> 00:08:04,206 Bedbugs?! 146 00:08:04,241 --> 00:08:06,642 These are Hungarian mattress gnashers. 147 00:08:06,677 --> 00:08:08,544 The only way to get rid of them 148 00:08:08,579 --> 00:08:11,613 is to walk away from your house naked and start a new life. 149 00:08:14,952 --> 00:08:17,619 Y-You're gonna sabotage our rivals? 150 00:08:17,655 --> 00:08:20,122 No, no, no, no, no, no. You are. 151 00:08:20,157 --> 00:08:23,659 You want to be a sandman, a slumber jack, a yawn jockey? 152 00:08:23,694 --> 00:08:27,262 This is what it takes. It's the Szyslak way. 153 00:08:39,877 --> 00:08:42,010 They were the competition, sure, 154 00:08:42,046 --> 00:08:43,746 but they were a family, too. 155 00:08:43,781 --> 00:08:46,148 I couldn't ruin them. 156 00:08:48,152 --> 00:08:51,153 You should be proud. You did a good deed. 157 00:08:51,188 --> 00:08:54,823 Yeah, well, that good deed ruin't my life. 158 00:08:54,859 --> 00:08:57,292 That family I took pity on, 159 00:08:57,328 --> 00:09:00,095 they doused our mattresses with bedbugs. 160 00:09:00,131 --> 00:09:02,865 The Szyslak empire was ruin't. 161 00:09:02,900 --> 00:09:05,100 Soon, we were down to just a few locations. 162 00:09:05,136 --> 00:09:07,703 My pops never said how disappointed he was, 163 00:09:07,738 --> 00:09:09,738 but he let me know in his own way, 164 00:09:09,774 --> 00:09:11,740 by kicking me out and turning my room 165 00:09:11,776 --> 00:09:14,543 into a home gym he never used. 166 00:09:14,578 --> 00:09:17,179 My brother and sister took my place in my father's heart. 167 00:09:17,214 --> 00:09:20,482 The only connection I had with Pops was LinkedIn. 168 00:09:20,518 --> 00:09:22,484 That's worse than nothing. 169 00:09:22,520 --> 00:09:24,620 Why do you think your dad reached around to you 170 00:09:24,655 --> 00:09:26,288 after all these years? 171 00:09:26,323 --> 00:09:28,857 I don't care. I don't care so much! 172 00:09:28,893 --> 00:09:30,726 Moe, you will never have peace 173 00:09:30,761 --> 00:09:32,828 until you make up with your father. 174 00:09:32,863 --> 00:09:34,930 Honey, I need you to hear this: 175 00:09:34,965 --> 00:09:39,234 sticking your nose in Moe's horrible life will end badly. 176 00:09:39,270 --> 00:09:41,904 Homer, what's your favorite movie? 177 00:09:41,939 --> 00:09:43,405 Fast & Furious 6. 178 00:09:43,441 --> 00:09:45,340 And what's the theme of that movie? 179 00:09:45,376 --> 00:09:46,742 Cars. 180 00:09:46,777 --> 00:09:48,377 What's the other theme? 181 00:09:48,412 --> 00:09:50,512 Family. 182 00:09:50,548 --> 00:09:52,014 She's right, Moe. 183 00:09:52,049 --> 00:09:54,750 You got to give your cars a second chance. 184 00:09:58,055 --> 00:09:59,573 Is that your family's mattress store? 185 00:09:59,598 --> 00:10:01,924 - No. - Is that your family's mattress store? 186 00:10:01,959 --> 00:10:03,425 - No. - Is that your family's mattress store? 187 00:10:03,461 --> 00:10:04,560 No! 188 00:10:04,595 --> 00:10:05,894 Geez, I never noticed 189 00:10:05,930 --> 00:10:07,863 how many mattress stores there are. 190 00:10:07,898 --> 00:10:10,332 Yeah, you never do till you're shopping for one. 191 00:10:10,367 --> 00:10:12,401 Then they're freakin' everywhere. 192 00:10:14,638 --> 00:10:17,773 That mattress looked perfectly fine when it was delivered. 193 00:10:17,808 --> 00:10:20,709 It's not my fault you flipped it over! 194 00:10:20,744 --> 00:10:22,711 Mr. Szyslak, I've brought someone here 195 00:10:22,746 --> 00:10:25,080 who still cares for you. 196 00:10:25,115 --> 00:10:27,216 Um, hey there, Pops. 197 00:10:27,251 --> 00:10:31,253 I'm, uh, I'm sorry about shoe-slapping your face and all. 198 00:10:31,288 --> 00:10:34,022 Well, maybe I had it coming. 199 00:10:34,058 --> 00:10:35,624 You hittin' that? 200 00:10:35,659 --> 00:10:38,927 - Can I, uh, say I am? - Mm-mm. 201 00:10:40,664 --> 00:10:43,131 That must be Moe's brother and sister. 202 00:10:43,167 --> 00:10:46,768 They don't look ugly like Moe, but I'm still feeling the ugly. 203 00:10:46,804 --> 00:10:50,539 Ugh. That one's eating Chinese food with scissors. 204 00:10:54,144 --> 00:10:56,111 Hey, what's Ugly Do-Right doing here? 205 00:10:56,146 --> 00:10:57,913 He ain't no mattress man. 206 00:10:57,948 --> 00:11:01,884 I will never forgive you for what you made Dad did to you. 207 00:11:01,919 --> 00:11:04,953 Oh, so we're doing the "what I done made Dad did" thing? 208 00:11:04,989 --> 00:11:06,989 Because I can did this all day long! 209 00:11:07,024 --> 00:11:08,624 Shut up, you box springs! 210 00:11:08,659 --> 00:11:12,327 I'm the one what reached around to this cesspool of disappointment. 211 00:11:12,363 --> 00:11:15,867 - You know, to make amends. - Amends?! 212 00:11:15,892 --> 00:11:17,499 - Amends?! - Amends?! 213 00:11:17,535 --> 00:11:20,536 There's no reason for this to come to shoes! 214 00:11:20,571 --> 00:11:23,005 I want you all to come to our house 215 00:11:23,040 --> 00:11:24,840 for a family forgiveness dinner. 216 00:11:24,875 --> 00:11:26,275 We'll be there. 217 00:11:26,310 --> 00:11:28,076 Can I bring a bottle of something? 218 00:11:28,112 --> 00:11:29,745 That would be lovely. 219 00:11:29,780 --> 00:11:32,014 You want oxy or Demerol? 220 00:11:32,049 --> 00:11:33,315 Okay, the brother here, 221 00:11:33,350 --> 00:11:35,317 the father there, Moe here... 222 00:11:35,352 --> 00:11:36,919 No. No good. 223 00:11:36,954 --> 00:11:38,921 You know, when this all ends horribly, 224 00:11:38,956 --> 00:11:41,924 it's gonna be pretty hard not to say "I told you so." 225 00:11:41,959 --> 00:11:43,358 Just don't say it. 226 00:11:43,394 --> 00:11:45,460 You've never been married, have you, Lisa? 227 00:11:45,496 --> 00:11:47,195 When you love someone very much, 228 00:11:47,231 --> 00:11:50,032 the toughest thing is not to rub their face 229 00:11:50,067 --> 00:11:52,868 in their horrible screw-ups. 230 00:11:57,174 --> 00:12:00,642 So, okay, here's a fun game. 231 00:12:00,678 --> 00:12:02,878 Everyone take turns saying something nice 232 00:12:02,913 --> 00:12:05,380 about a person they're related to. 233 00:12:05,416 --> 00:12:08,684 I'll start. Lisa has lovely penmanship. 234 00:12:08,719 --> 00:12:10,819 Thank you, Mom. 235 00:12:10,854 --> 00:12:13,755 Me? Uh, well, it's... 236 00:12:13,791 --> 00:12:17,793 admirable how my stupid father reached around to this traitor! 237 00:12:17,828 --> 00:12:19,795 I'm impressed that you better shut up 238 00:12:19,830 --> 00:12:21,663 and make nice with the traitor! 239 00:12:23,434 --> 00:12:26,301 I like that Bart... 240 00:12:26,337 --> 00:12:30,572 uh... Bart is... he, uh... 241 00:12:30,608 --> 00:12:33,352 - Can I do two Lisas? - Dinner fight! 242 00:12:33,377 --> 00:12:35,410 Yeah, whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do? Huh? 243 00:12:36,447 --> 00:12:38,347 Homer! Go to phase two. 244 00:12:40,084 --> 00:12:43,719 'Twas the sale before Christmas, and all through the store! 245 00:12:43,754 --> 00:12:48,090 All the deals were amazing on twin sets and more! 246 00:12:48,125 --> 00:12:51,560 Mattress night 247 00:12:51,595 --> 00:12:55,030 Low, low price 248 00:12:55,065 --> 00:12:58,800 No payments due, but... ♪ 249 00:12:58,836 --> 00:13:00,902 Am I the only one feeling all oniony 250 00:13:00,938 --> 00:13:02,904 about the way things used to be? 251 00:13:02,940 --> 00:13:05,107 We were dressed as stinkin' reindeer, 252 00:13:05,142 --> 00:13:07,342 but we were really a stinkin' family. 253 00:13:07,378 --> 00:13:09,611 Oh, I miss you frigs. 254 00:13:09,647 --> 00:13:11,947 Aw... 255 00:13:11,982 --> 00:13:14,683 Marge, thank you for reaching around to my family. 256 00:13:14,718 --> 00:13:17,519 I got something to tell all of youse. 257 00:13:17,554 --> 00:13:20,455 I'm retiring. 258 00:13:20,491 --> 00:13:23,892 Sleepy is the head that wears the mattress crown. 259 00:13:23,927 --> 00:13:26,928 That's right, my springs have sprung. 260 00:13:26,964 --> 00:13:29,631 To my son, I give a store. 261 00:13:29,667 --> 00:13:32,901 - To my daughter, I give a store. - Aw. 262 00:13:32,936 --> 00:13:34,636 Well, good dinner, everyone. 263 00:13:34,672 --> 00:13:37,406 I'll see youse at the funeral of whoever dies first. 264 00:13:37,441 --> 00:13:40,075 And to my oldest son, I give a store. 265 00:13:41,245 --> 00:13:44,246 Wha...? I buried this dream so deep, 266 00:13:44,281 --> 00:13:47,683 no amount of self-harm could ever carve it out. 267 00:13:50,287 --> 00:13:51,753 Aw. 268 00:13:53,991 --> 00:13:56,992 Oh, the smell of foam off-gassing. 269 00:13:57,027 --> 00:14:00,362 When I cross this threshold, I begin a new life! 270 00:14:01,699 --> 00:14:03,331 This is the first time 271 00:14:03,367 --> 00:14:05,834 that I've ever been carried into a store. 272 00:14:05,869 --> 00:14:08,336 Look at me now, Lady Foot Locker! 273 00:14:08,372 --> 00:14:09,871 Look at me now. 274 00:14:13,730 --> 00:14:15,730 Hey, everyone. Hey, thanks for coming out. 275 00:14:15,765 --> 00:14:17,832 Uh, if anybody wants a glass of wine, 276 00:14:17,867 --> 00:14:19,767 they're on the memory foam. 277 00:14:19,802 --> 00:14:23,004 Oh! Hot dang. My goodness. 278 00:14:23,039 --> 00:14:25,306 Okay, okay, all right, shut your, shut your faces. 279 00:14:25,341 --> 00:14:28,743 Uh, the commercial that me and my brother and sister all made 280 00:14:28,778 --> 00:14:30,778 is about to air now. 281 00:14:30,813 --> 00:14:32,513 I cannot tell a lie. 282 00:14:32,548 --> 00:14:35,116 It's good to be back in the mattress biz. 283 00:14:35,151 --> 00:14:37,985 Sleep softly and carry a big discount! 284 00:14:38,021 --> 00:14:40,588 And now we're freeing the savings! 285 00:14:40,623 --> 00:14:44,291 So rush-more to Mattress King Slumber Super Stores, 286 00:14:44,327 --> 00:14:48,062 as we all welcome our big brother Moe back to the family! 287 00:14:48,965 --> 00:14:49,997 And remember, 288 00:14:50,033 --> 00:14:51,432 at Moe's location, 289 00:14:51,467 --> 00:14:54,669 every mattress had someone die on it. 290 00:14:56,172 --> 00:14:59,240 Dead-o's on my mattresses? 291 00:14:59,275 --> 00:15:01,676 Hey, hey, somebody messed with our commercial. 292 00:15:01,711 --> 00:15:04,011 Who died on Moe's mattresses? 293 00:15:04,047 --> 00:15:06,013 Shut-ins. Fat people. 294 00:15:06,049 --> 00:15:09,183 And inmates! Inmates! Inmates! 295 00:15:09,218 --> 00:15:10,885 No, no, it's all lies! Come back! 296 00:15:10,920 --> 00:15:12,520 My mattresses are brand-new! 297 00:15:12,555 --> 00:15:14,522 Made in the finest Filipino sweatshops 298 00:15:14,557 --> 00:15:16,857 by the cutest kids you ever saw! 299 00:15:16,893 --> 00:15:18,959 That's a gross a-mattress! 300 00:15:18,995 --> 00:15:22,363 They betrayed me. Stabbed me right in the hump. 301 00:15:22,398 --> 00:15:23,964 Sorry, big brother. 302 00:15:24,000 --> 00:15:26,934 We saw an opportunity to knock you out of the family business, 303 00:15:26,969 --> 00:15:28,335 and we took it. 304 00:15:28,371 --> 00:15:30,004 It's the Szyslak way. 305 00:15:32,041 --> 00:15:34,308 But I-I brought them together. 306 00:15:34,343 --> 00:15:36,310 How could things end so badly? 307 00:15:36,345 --> 00:15:38,179 Don't say "I told you so." 308 00:15:38,214 --> 00:15:39,680 Don't say "I told you so." Don't say "I told you so." 309 00:15:39,716 --> 00:15:41,982 Maybe I shouldn't have gotten involved. 310 00:15:42,018 --> 00:15:44,318 Don't say "I told you so." Don't say "I told you so." 311 00:15:44,353 --> 00:15:45,986 Why didn't somebody warn me? 312 00:15:46,022 --> 00:15:47,822 Don't say "I told you so." 313 00:15:47,857 --> 00:15:50,291 I told... 314 00:15:58,735 --> 00:16:01,535 When my pop finds out I got played for a chump, huh, 315 00:16:01,571 --> 00:16:04,705 he'll wish he never reached around to me in the first place. 316 00:16:04,741 --> 00:16:06,674 Moe, I'm so sorry. 317 00:16:06,709 --> 00:16:09,009 For the first time, I'm going to offer you 318 00:16:09,045 --> 00:16:10,945 platonic physical comfort. 319 00:16:14,317 --> 00:16:16,617 I just can't go through with it. 320 00:16:16,652 --> 00:16:19,153 Aw, it's all right. You got closer than most. 321 00:16:19,188 --> 00:16:21,822 But I have to believe it's not too late 322 00:16:21,858 --> 00:16:24,892 to reach around and fix things with your family. 323 00:16:24,927 --> 00:16:27,828 No, no, no. I tried things the Marge way. 324 00:16:27,864 --> 00:16:31,098 Now I'm gonna do this the Szyslak way. 325 00:16:31,134 --> 00:16:32,867 No. No! 326 00:16:32,902 --> 00:16:35,102 That's right, me and my family, 327 00:16:35,138 --> 00:16:37,605 we're going to the mattresses, baby! 328 00:16:39,342 --> 00:16:41,509 I better go with him. 329 00:16:41,544 --> 00:16:43,744 To make sure I see it. 330 00:17:15,645 --> 00:17:17,611 Oh, my God. What happened? 331 00:17:17,647 --> 00:17:19,947 We cut 'em up good. 332 00:17:19,982 --> 00:17:22,416 They ain't so pretty no more! 333 00:17:22,441 --> 00:17:23,472 _ 334 00:17:23,497 --> 00:17:27,421 All this was just revenge appetizers! 335 00:17:27,456 --> 00:17:29,924 Tonight is the main course. 336 00:17:29,959 --> 00:17:32,359 And I'm serving it up family style. 337 00:17:34,030 --> 00:17:36,730 There's only one man who can stop this. 338 00:17:39,135 --> 00:17:42,102 Sir, this shirt depicts an octopus sportfishing 339 00:17:42,138 --> 00:17:43,938 and drinking a mai tai. 340 00:17:43,973 --> 00:17:47,441 It's the bestseller in our Retired Blowhard collection. 341 00:17:47,476 --> 00:17:48,742 Oh, yeah. 342 00:17:48,778 --> 00:17:51,812 I can see myself watching golf in this. 343 00:17:51,848 --> 00:17:54,481 Mr. Szyslak Sr., you've got to do something! 344 00:17:54,517 --> 00:17:57,284 Your children are tearing each other apart! 345 00:17:57,320 --> 00:17:59,486 No, no. I'm retired now. 346 00:17:59,522 --> 00:18:01,822 Let them work out their own little tiffs. 347 00:18:01,858 --> 00:18:04,091 Does this look like a tiff? 348 00:18:04,116 --> 00:18:06,216 _ 349 00:18:06,262 --> 00:18:07,895 Free mattresses?! 350 00:18:07,930 --> 00:18:10,564 The time for leisure wear is over. 351 00:18:13,436 --> 00:18:15,402 Mahalo, sir. 352 00:18:15,438 --> 00:18:18,239 Moe's in there, and I've never seen him this angry before, 353 00:18:18,274 --> 00:18:21,675 not even when he lost that angriest man contest. 354 00:18:21,711 --> 00:18:23,677 He's crazy! He's gonna do it! 355 00:18:23,713 --> 00:18:25,713 He's really gonna do it! 356 00:18:27,350 --> 00:18:29,083 I'm up here, Pops. 357 00:18:29,118 --> 00:18:31,552 I'm playing with my little brother and sister. 358 00:18:31,587 --> 00:18:33,254 Just like old times. 359 00:18:38,294 --> 00:18:40,394 Hungarian mattress gnashers! 360 00:18:40,429 --> 00:18:45,266 If he releases those bugs, all our mattresses are ruined! 361 00:18:45,301 --> 00:18:50,104 Not mine. My mattresses are safe and sound. 362 00:18:52,308 --> 00:18:54,708 All my enemies... gnashed! 363 00:18:54,744 --> 00:18:57,011 It's the Szyslak way! 364 00:18:57,046 --> 00:18:59,513 Morty! Do something! 365 00:19:04,620 --> 00:19:07,087 Do it! Smash that jar! 366 00:19:07,123 --> 00:19:09,523 Take what's rightfully yours! 367 00:19:09,558 --> 00:19:12,192 - Wait, what? - You wanted him to dooze this? 368 00:19:12,228 --> 00:19:14,628 He's finally man enough to finish the job, 369 00:19:14,664 --> 00:19:17,097 just like he should've all those years ago. 370 00:19:17,133 --> 00:19:18,599 Do it, son! 371 00:19:18,634 --> 00:19:20,567 Everything will be yours! 372 00:19:20,603 --> 00:19:22,870 Do it for your king! 373 00:19:22,905 --> 00:19:25,606 Do it for your king. 374 00:19:43,359 --> 00:19:45,626 I can't do it. 375 00:19:45,661 --> 00:19:47,061 Wha...?! 376 00:19:47,096 --> 00:19:48,395 Sorry, Pops. 377 00:19:48,431 --> 00:19:51,198 I guess I'll never live the Szyslak way. 378 00:19:52,468 --> 00:19:55,336 Oh, Moe, you're a good man. 379 00:19:55,371 --> 00:19:58,806 And these soulless mattress jackals don't deserve you. 380 00:19:58,841 --> 00:20:00,808 I never thought I'd say this, 381 00:20:00,843 --> 00:20:04,545 but some families just don't belong together. 382 00:20:04,580 --> 00:20:07,047 Yeah, yeah, I'll kill ya! 383 00:20:08,684 --> 00:20:11,018 Ph-Physical contact. 384 00:20:12,993 --> 00:20:15,580 _ 385 00:20:27,803 --> 00:20:31,205 I told you so! 386 00:20:42,745 --> 00:20:44,945 Hey, this is Moe S. from the Mattress King. 387 00:20:44,980 --> 00:20:47,681 Give me a call at 555-0146. 388 00:20:47,716 --> 00:20:49,449 For a limited time only, 389 00:20:49,485 --> 00:20:52,753 the Mattress King's got queen mattress sets for $99 390 00:20:52,788 --> 00:20:55,222 and king sets for $129. 391 00:20:57,126 --> 00:20:58,959 Ooh! Are you okay? 392 00:20:58,994 --> 00:21:02,029 Oh, yeah. I'm fine. 393 00:21:02,064 --> 00:21:03,864 That's what I was afraid was gonna... 394 00:21:03,899 --> 00:21:05,532 that's what I was afraid was gonna happen 395 00:21:05,567 --> 00:21:07,434 - with that damn thing. - You all right? 396 00:21:07,469 --> 00:21:08,935 - Oh, I'm fine. - You sure? 397 00:21:08,971 --> 00:21:10,937 Messed up my guitar, though. No, I'm fine. 398 00:21:10,973 --> 00:21:12,439 - You sure you're, uh... - No, I'm fine. 399 00:21:12,474 --> 00:21:13,774 Try your arm and stuff. 400 00:21:13,809 --> 00:21:15,475 - He's wearing leather. - Oh, okay. 401 00:21:15,511 --> 00:21:17,344 - Did you get it on film? - Yeah. 402 00:21:17,379 --> 00:21:19,312 All right. All right! 403 00:21:19,337 --> 00:21:24,337 Synced and corrected by BLuk www.addic7ed.com 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net 29628

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.