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1
00:00:02,480 --> 00:00:05,473
For you who are too fucking busy,
this happened on Shameless.
2
00:00:05,640 --> 00:00:07,040
What the fuck you looking at?
3
00:00:07,200 --> 00:00:08,839
This is my home.
4
00:00:09,000 --> 00:00:10,912
I am an important part of this family.
5
00:00:11,080 --> 00:00:14,312
No, you're not.
You don't live here anymore.
6
00:00:14,480 --> 00:00:15,630
Catch. Open it.
7
00:00:15,800 --> 00:00:17,598
I sort of have a boyfriend.
8
00:00:17,760 --> 00:00:19,911
- Well, I sort of have a wife.
- He's always been a problem.
9
00:00:22,400 --> 00:00:24,596
I want her to be
an American citizen, Steve.
10
00:00:24,760 --> 00:00:27,958
When Immigration comes,
you will be her husband.
11
00:00:28,120 --> 00:00:30,510
Beto is out front.
He follows me wherever I go.
12
00:00:30,680 --> 00:00:32,433
He's harmless.
13
00:00:32,600 --> 00:00:34,398
Aah! Fuck!
14
00:00:34,560 --> 00:00:36,233
Daddy's good with babies.
15
00:00:36,400 --> 00:00:38,357
Howdy, folks.
Need help with that baby?
16
00:00:38,520 --> 00:00:41,115
I got a proposition for you, Sheils.
Let me stay.
17
00:00:41,280 --> 00:00:44,159
You'll get eight hours of sleep a night.
I promise you that.
18
00:00:44,320 --> 00:00:45,674
I know what I'm doing.
19
00:00:47,320 --> 00:00:50,040
Are you supposed to give
Valium to a baby?
20
00:00:50,200 --> 00:00:54,319
I lost a hundred dollars doing this night.
I'm just trying to better our situation.
21
00:00:54,480 --> 00:00:56,870
The only way to make money
when you're poor...
22
00:00:57,040 --> 00:00:58,952
...is to steal it or scam it.
23
00:00:59,160 --> 00:01:01,800
I know you want me to find Jesus.
I already found him.
24
00:01:01,960 --> 00:01:04,680
I'm looking for Kev.
25
00:01:04,840 --> 00:01:06,479
I'm his wife.
26
00:03:04,360 --> 00:03:05,555
Hey.
27
00:03:06,320 --> 00:03:07,800
Hey.
28
00:03:08,400 --> 00:03:09,550
You're awake.
29
00:03:09,720 --> 00:03:11,552
Never fell asleep.
30
00:03:12,360 --> 00:03:14,158
Just go talk to him.
31
00:03:14,320 --> 00:03:17,074
Not his fault the crazy ex-wife
showed up out of nowhere.
32
00:03:17,240 --> 00:03:19,436
She's not his ex, she's his wife.
33
00:03:20,320 --> 00:03:22,915
And you should have seen his face
when he saw her.
34
00:03:26,960 --> 00:03:29,156
This house is so quiet.
35
00:03:32,520 --> 00:03:35,080
Kids, breakfast!
36
00:03:35,240 --> 00:03:37,960
- Jeez, Fiona!
- This shit is all in your head, V.
37
00:03:38,120 --> 00:03:41,079
This house ain't quiet
and she is not Kev's wife. You are.
38
00:03:41,280 --> 00:03:42,475
Go talk to him.
39
00:03:49,480 --> 00:03:50,755
- Uhn.
- Okay.
40
00:03:50,920 --> 00:03:52,195
I need coffee.
41
00:03:52,880 --> 00:03:55,554
- We're out of filters.
- We can use paper towels.
42
00:03:55,720 --> 00:03:57,916
- We're out of paper towels.
- Diapers will work.
43
00:04:00,480 --> 00:04:03,552
- You have to go to work?
- Yeah.
44
00:04:03,760 --> 00:04:06,275
- Can we just reschedule the doctor thing?
- No.
45
00:04:06,440 --> 00:04:09,797
The vaccine schedule is very important.
46
00:04:09,960 --> 00:04:11,189
You can't be late?
47
00:04:11,360 --> 00:04:14,034
How busy can a tattoo parlor be
in the morning?
48
00:04:14,200 --> 00:04:16,920
Morning to us.
Some people, it's the end of a long night.
49
00:04:17,080 --> 00:04:19,436
Good morning.
50
00:04:19,600 --> 00:04:21,432
No breakfast?
51
00:04:21,600 --> 00:04:24,593
I haven't had a lot of energy
for shopping lately.
52
00:04:24,760 --> 00:04:26,558
Nanny Frank to the rescue.
53
00:04:26,720 --> 00:04:30,191
The Hymster and I will go on
a little field trip to the grocery store.
54
00:04:30,360 --> 00:04:32,750
Just need some cash, right, buddy?
55
00:04:32,920 --> 00:04:35,037
You still drunk, Frank?
56
00:04:39,480 --> 00:04:42,279
Fine. Oh, damn, I gotta go.
57
00:04:43,240 --> 00:04:45,516
I'll grab coffee on the way to work.
58
00:04:48,040 --> 00:04:49,315
Too-doo-loo. Boop.
59
00:05:04,800 --> 00:05:06,120
I'm awake! Oh.
60
00:05:07,520 --> 00:05:09,637
Go catch some Z's, Sheils.
61
00:05:10,280 --> 00:05:12,590
- I got the little guy.
- I can't.
62
00:05:12,760 --> 00:05:16,470
Hymie has his first well-baby appointment
today at the pediatrician.
63
00:05:16,640 --> 00:05:20,953
Doctor require some kind of co-pay
for this unnecessary visit?
64
00:05:21,120 --> 00:05:23,555
Of course he does.
65
00:05:23,800 --> 00:05:26,838
Doctors are thieves, little Hymster.
66
00:05:27,000 --> 00:05:30,072
They just have degrees
to keep them out of jail.
67
00:05:30,240 --> 00:05:32,630
Go on. I'll take him.
68
00:05:32,800 --> 00:05:35,474
- You will? Frank.
- Yeah.
69
00:05:35,640 --> 00:05:38,109
Oh, Frank. Bless you, Frank.
70
00:05:38,280 --> 00:05:40,556
Bless you. Bless you.
71
00:05:41,360 --> 00:05:42,760
Let me-- Here.
72
00:05:42,920 --> 00:05:45,515
- Here. Here you go.
- That'll do it.
73
00:05:45,680 --> 00:05:46,909
Look at that.
74
00:05:47,080 --> 00:05:49,800
Wait, don't you need the address?
75
00:06:01,920 --> 00:06:04,389
- Where is she?
- She's still sleeping.
76
00:06:05,080 --> 00:06:07,800
She did not just show up here
because her car broke down.
77
00:06:07,960 --> 00:06:11,351
- What, you think she broke it on purpose?
- She broke you on purpose.
78
00:06:11,960 --> 00:06:14,350
She broke you
and I put you back together.
79
00:06:14,560 --> 00:06:18,395
- Now she's here to take back what I fixed.
- V, look. Look at this.
80
00:06:18,600 --> 00:06:20,239
Divorce papers.
81
00:06:20,440 --> 00:06:24,195
I got them off the Internet.
This is my chance to make it official.
82
00:06:24,400 --> 00:06:26,119
Why didn't you say that last night?
83
00:06:26,320 --> 00:06:30,075
Because you were yelling some shit
about my face, then slept at Fiona's.
84
00:06:30,280 --> 00:06:32,397
Well, I was right about your face.
85
00:06:36,600 --> 00:06:38,114
Morning.
86
00:06:38,280 --> 00:06:39,680
Hey.
87
00:06:39,840 --> 00:06:42,196
I made you coffee.
Super strong like you like it.
88
00:06:42,520 --> 00:06:45,718
Yay. Kevy-caf. My fave.
89
00:06:45,920 --> 00:06:49,516
- Kevy-caf?
- Decaf, full-caf, Kevy-caf.
90
00:06:49,720 --> 00:06:51,712
For when you need a real kick in the ass.
91
00:06:51,880 --> 00:06:54,190
- Can I watch some TV?
- Yeah.
92
00:06:55,640 --> 00:06:58,394
- That's how she likes it.
- Mm.
93
00:06:58,720 --> 00:07:01,030
Your bed is so comfy. I slept like a baby.
94
00:07:01,200 --> 00:07:04,193
- You slept in our bed?
- I stayed in the guest room.
95
00:07:04,400 --> 00:07:07,916
- I haven't smelled that smell in so long.
- What smell?
96
00:07:08,080 --> 00:07:10,436
His cologne. On the pillow.
97
00:07:10,600 --> 00:07:11,636
English Leather.
98
00:07:11,800 --> 00:07:15,237
- Like Old Man Carlyle used to wear.
- Like Old Man Carlyle used to wear.
99
00:07:15,400 --> 00:07:18,199
- Old Man Carlyle?
- Foster home where we met.
100
00:07:18,360 --> 00:07:20,431
Was the best fake dad we ever had.
101
00:07:20,600 --> 00:07:22,990
You know Junior's going to prison.
Tax evasion.
102
00:07:23,160 --> 00:07:24,753
Junior Carlyle? No shit?
103
00:07:24,960 --> 00:07:26,713
- No shit.
- No shit.
104
00:07:31,360 --> 00:07:33,829
Six frozen OJs for the price of five.
105
00:07:34,000 --> 00:07:36,879
Twenty percent off mac and cheese.
And I have four of these.
106
00:07:37,040 --> 00:07:39,271
- One coupon per customer.
- It doesn't say that.
107
00:07:39,440 --> 00:07:42,274
- Doesn't have to, it's implied.
- Tina, it's time for break.
108
00:07:42,480 --> 00:07:44,915
Why don't you have Kim
take over your station?
109
00:07:45,080 --> 00:07:48,232
Oh, my God, is that snot?
110
00:07:48,440 --> 00:07:50,318
Sorry. Kids, summer colds.
111
00:07:50,840 --> 00:07:53,639
- I have four coupons.
- I told you, one per customer.
112
00:07:53,800 --> 00:07:55,678
- Watch your tone.
- I'll watch my tone...
113
00:07:55,840 --> 00:07:59,151
- ...when you teach your kids to use Kleenex.
- I have four coupons.
114
00:07:59,320 --> 00:08:01,676
I dug through the neighbor's trash
to get them.
115
00:08:01,840 --> 00:08:04,036
Tina. Break time. Let's go.
116
00:08:04,200 --> 00:08:07,477
You know what? Fine. Take it.
Take all it. Take it for free.
117
00:08:07,640 --> 00:08:09,518
I don't give a shit! You hear me?
118
00:08:09,680 --> 00:08:13,560
I don't give a shit! Take your own break.
And you can keep my last paycheck.
119
00:08:13,760 --> 00:08:14,910
I won't be coming back.
120
00:08:15,080 --> 00:08:18,915
Keep taking this shit if you want to,
but I'm out, bitches. Out!
121
00:08:19,080 --> 00:08:22,278
Why don't we just talk for a sec here, Tina?
Okay.
122
00:08:24,240 --> 00:08:26,709
I shouldn't have pushed hard
on the coupon thing.
123
00:08:26,880 --> 00:08:29,031
Just stay here and bag the groceries.
124
00:08:29,200 --> 00:08:30,600
We didn't pay.
125
00:08:30,760 --> 00:08:32,353
She said we could have them.
126
00:08:33,400 --> 00:08:34,595
Excuse me.
127
00:08:35,120 --> 00:08:36,600
Excuse me.
128
00:08:36,760 --> 00:08:38,399
- Are you the manager?
- Yes.
129
00:08:38,560 --> 00:08:41,758
I'm sorry you had to hear that language
with your children present.
130
00:08:41,920 --> 00:08:45,914
If you'd follow me to my office, I'd be happy
to give you a coupon for a free ham.
131
00:08:46,080 --> 00:08:49,198
That'd be great. But it seems
like she kind of quit back there...
132
00:08:49,360 --> 00:08:52,273
...so I was thinking
there might be a job opening?
133
00:08:52,640 --> 00:08:56,031
- Hm. What's your name?
- Fiona Gallagher.
134
00:08:56,200 --> 00:08:59,830
You know what?
Why don't you follow me, Fiona Gallagher?
135
00:09:01,240 --> 00:09:03,914
So right place, right time, huh?
136
00:09:04,080 --> 00:09:07,391
Hope so. I'm responsible,
and a really hard worker.
137
00:09:07,560 --> 00:09:09,950
- You ever work as a cashier?
- Sure, absolutely.
138
00:09:11,400 --> 00:09:14,234
So tell me, Fiona.
139
00:09:14,960 --> 00:09:17,236
How do you feel about deli meats?
140
00:09:17,400 --> 00:09:18,754
Deli meats?
141
00:09:18,920 --> 00:09:22,596
I'm not big on olive loaf,
barfed it up once when I was a kid.
142
00:09:22,760 --> 00:09:25,639
- But mostly I like them.
- Good. That's good.
143
00:09:25,800 --> 00:09:27,917
I ask because, you know...
144
00:09:28,080 --> 00:09:31,391
...if you're gonna work here,
I gotta see how you handle the meat.
145
00:09:32,600 --> 00:09:35,718
We sell franks and beans too. We sell...
146
00:09:35,880 --> 00:09:37,360
...hot dogs.
147
00:09:37,520 --> 00:09:40,672
Corn dogs. Three bean salad.
148
00:09:40,840 --> 00:09:42,160
Cream cheese.
149
00:09:42,480 --> 00:09:46,554
Ha. Wow. You're saying that if I blow you,
I can have a job?
150
00:09:47,160 --> 00:09:51,074
No. I would never say that.
That would be inappropriate and illegal.
151
00:09:51,240 --> 00:09:53,197
If you wanted to blow me...
152
00:09:53,400 --> 00:09:55,960
...you'd have to be a consenting adult.
153
00:09:58,440 --> 00:10:00,671
Morning, Frank.
Who's your handsome friend?
154
00:10:00,840 --> 00:10:02,797
You hear that, Hymie? That's Kate.
155
00:10:02,960 --> 00:10:05,031
Kate's got good taste.
156
00:10:05,200 --> 00:10:08,079
Give me a shot of JB, a pickled egg...
157
00:10:08,240 --> 00:10:10,709
...and a thumbtack.
158
00:10:10,920 --> 00:10:12,354
Thumbtack?
159
00:10:13,480 --> 00:10:16,473
And a Band-Aid.
160
00:10:24,680 --> 00:10:26,353
There you go...
161
00:10:26,560 --> 00:10:28,074
...and mumps begone. Oh.
162
00:10:29,600 --> 00:10:31,080
Yes, yes, yes.
163
00:10:31,240 --> 00:10:35,439
It's all over, little buddy.
There you go. There you go.
164
00:10:35,640 --> 00:10:37,472
I'm gonna need another one of these.
165
00:10:37,640 --> 00:10:39,199
I'm-- I think I'm--
166
00:10:39,360 --> 00:10:43,434
Yeah, I'm calling the police
and reporting child abuse.
167
00:10:43,680 --> 00:10:46,878
Pbbt. AIDS didn't come
from the homos, Kate.
168
00:10:47,080 --> 00:10:50,960
The gays may have helped to spread it
with their bloody anal passions...
169
00:10:51,120 --> 00:10:55,831
...but it originated in vaccines
made from the blood of African monkeys.
170
00:10:56,000 --> 00:10:59,516
Interestingly enough,
heterosexual monkeys.
171
00:10:59,720 --> 00:11:01,712
- It was homos, Frank.
- Ha-ha.
172
00:11:01,880 --> 00:11:03,678
He needs his shots, Frank.
173
00:11:03,840 --> 00:11:07,038
Jesus Christ, Kate,
kid's already a half-wit.
174
00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:08,759
You want to give him autism too.
175
00:11:08,920 --> 00:11:12,038
Now close your mouth
before somebody considers it an invitation.
176
00:11:12,200 --> 00:11:14,476
And pour me a goddamn drink.
177
00:11:14,680 --> 00:11:18,071
The stars came out for
the Wishing Lane Foundation last night.
178
00:11:18,280 --> 00:11:23,912
Adam Foster, 10 years old and living with
a rare form of leukemia, had only one wish:
179
00:11:24,120 --> 00:11:25,839
To meet his heroes, the Bulls.
180
00:11:26,000 --> 00:11:30,233
They did better, giving him courtside seats
and a ball signed by the entire team.
181
00:11:30,400 --> 00:11:33,950
Holy shit. The whole team?
What do you think that'd go for on eBay?
182
00:11:34,120 --> 00:11:36,396
Couple grand at least.
183
00:11:37,160 --> 00:11:38,640
That kid's just got cancer.
184
00:11:38,840 --> 00:11:42,072
Hymie's mentally deficient.
That's a permanent condition.
185
00:11:42,240 --> 00:11:43,276
You should know, Frank.
186
00:11:51,160 --> 00:11:54,790
That would be an awesome job.
Discounts on groceries?
187
00:11:54,960 --> 00:11:56,838
Could help with summer day care costs.
188
00:11:57,040 --> 00:12:01,990
I'm not getting that job. Not gonna happen,
so let's just drop it. Okay, Debs?
189
00:12:10,200 --> 00:12:11,554
Debs?
190
00:12:17,600 --> 00:12:19,432
Are you kidding me?
191
00:12:20,400 --> 00:12:23,313
Get out of here, you piece of shit.
192
00:12:23,480 --> 00:12:25,995
You better run, you sick bastard.
193
00:12:34,640 --> 00:12:36,438
You okay, Debs?
194
00:12:36,880 --> 00:12:39,952
Listen, you shouldn't have had
to see that.
195
00:12:42,960 --> 00:12:45,111
- Can you describe the perp?
- Red.
196
00:12:45,320 --> 00:12:47,596
- Really, really red.
- Like sunburned?
197
00:12:47,760 --> 00:12:49,956
- She's talking about his--
- The guy, Debs.
198
00:12:50,160 --> 00:12:52,629
What did the guy look like? His face.
199
00:12:52,800 --> 00:12:57,875
How are you supposed to see his face
behind that giant, red, one-eyed--?
200
00:12:58,040 --> 00:12:59,235
Got it. Okay.
201
00:12:59,400 --> 00:13:01,790
- You did great. Thank you.
- Okay, come on, Debs.
202
00:13:01,960 --> 00:13:04,191
Let's go get you a Bomb Pop
or something, huh?
203
00:13:04,360 --> 00:13:06,795
- Why didn't you stab him?
- Stab him? With what?
204
00:13:06,960 --> 00:13:09,634
You ride the city bus without a knife?
205
00:13:10,440 --> 00:13:12,909
He was about 30. Tallish.
206
00:13:13,080 --> 00:13:15,834
Long hair, long beard, small dick.
207
00:13:16,840 --> 00:13:20,595
You know, because guys with big ones
don't need to jerk it at little girls.
208
00:13:20,760 --> 00:13:22,035
Okay. Uh...
209
00:13:22,200 --> 00:13:24,920
- I'll file a report, but--
- But what?
210
00:13:25,080 --> 00:13:27,470
Nobody cares about a pervert on a bus?
211
00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:29,597
We'll let the ITC know.
212
00:13:29,760 --> 00:13:32,514
- They'll keep an eye out for the guy.
- Thanks.
213
00:13:32,680 --> 00:13:34,478
You did the right thing calling.
214
00:13:34,640 --> 00:13:37,394
Here's my direct line, if you need...
215
00:13:37,560 --> 00:13:39,074
...anything else.
216
00:13:44,920 --> 00:13:46,718
- What?
- "You did the right thing.
217
00:13:46,880 --> 00:13:48,394
- Here's my direct line."
- Please.
218
00:13:48,560 --> 00:13:52,839
You have less to worry about from him
than from the manager at the grocery store.
219
00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:55,595
Am I supposed to find comfort
in that sentence?
220
00:13:55,760 --> 00:13:58,116
Dude wanted a blow
in exchange for a job.
221
00:13:58,280 --> 00:14:01,751
- Giving new meaning to "blow job."
- Wow?
222
00:14:01,920 --> 00:14:06,472
You grow up in this house, you think that
nothing can shock you anymore, and then--
223
00:14:06,920 --> 00:14:08,832
What is it with men and their johnsons?
224
00:14:09,000 --> 00:14:14,234
Shaking them on buses, using them
to blackmail potential employees.
225
00:14:14,400 --> 00:14:19,555
You know, that was probably a good job
too. Benefits. Discounts on groceries.
226
00:14:22,840 --> 00:14:25,674
You know what?
He doesn't get away with this shit.
227
00:14:25,880 --> 00:14:28,600
- I'm going back over there.
- Want me to come with you?
228
00:14:28,800 --> 00:14:31,872
- No, but can you watch Liam?
- Oh, shit. Sorry, can't.
229
00:14:32,040 --> 00:14:34,316
- You just offered to come.
- I knew you'd say no.
230
00:14:34,480 --> 00:14:36,278
I got a checkup.
231
00:14:38,000 --> 00:14:39,719
Kick ass, take names.
232
00:14:39,880 --> 00:14:41,951
Don't blow anyone.
233
00:14:42,160 --> 00:14:44,994
You let her sleep in our bed?
You said she's a crazy bitch.
234
00:14:45,160 --> 00:14:48,153
She is. And not a crazy bitch
like you're a crazy bitch, like:
235
00:14:48,360 --> 00:14:50,920
"Oh, bitch, you so crazy." No.
236
00:14:51,080 --> 00:14:55,597
She tried to beat me with a frozen fish
because I asked if there was more broccoli.
237
00:14:55,760 --> 00:14:57,672
You never know
what's gonna set her off.
238
00:14:57,840 --> 00:15:00,071
- What are you doing? Put that back on.
- I'm changing.
239
00:15:01,600 --> 00:15:03,990
- Teresa will be here at 2:00.
- Who's that?
240
00:15:04,160 --> 00:15:06,629
Notary public gets her hair done
at Mom's salon.
241
00:15:06,840 --> 00:15:09,958
So you have until 2:00
to get the divorce papers signed...
242
00:15:10,120 --> 00:15:12,635
- ...or I'll show her who's a crazy bitch.
- Hey.
243
00:15:12,800 --> 00:15:14,917
Put your shirt on. Put your shirt on!
244
00:15:15,080 --> 00:15:18,357
Hey! I'm changing.
Then I'm gonna go take a look at your car.
245
00:15:18,560 --> 00:15:20,313
- Okay.
- On that foot?
246
00:15:21,240 --> 00:15:22,276
I can handle it.
247
00:15:22,480 --> 00:15:25,473
If you can handle it,
maybe you can handle the dripping faucet.
248
00:15:25,640 --> 00:15:27,040
How'd you do that anyway?
249
00:15:27,200 --> 00:15:30,796
Shooting hoop. Snapped my Achilles
posting up some local kid.
250
00:15:30,960 --> 00:15:35,113
He's huge. He's probably gonna go
in the NBA draft next year.
251
00:15:35,280 --> 00:15:38,830
He snapped it falling in the bathtub
like an old Florida Jew.
252
00:15:39,040 --> 00:15:41,839
Which was right after the game.
It was a delayed reaction.
253
00:15:42,080 --> 00:15:44,436
V, you have that camera
you use for titty shots?
254
00:15:44,600 --> 00:15:47,195
I need help with a scumbag
at the grocery store.
255
00:15:47,360 --> 00:15:49,920
- Hey, I'm--
- I know who you are.
256
00:15:50,080 --> 00:15:52,151
Ha, ha. V, why don't you go help Fiona
at the store?
257
00:15:52,320 --> 00:15:55,518
While you're there,
see if there's some more broccoli?
258
00:15:57,280 --> 00:15:59,351
Fine. Come on.
259
00:15:59,560 --> 00:16:03,076
Teresa, here, 2:00.
260
00:16:06,920 --> 00:16:07,990
Holy shit.
261
00:16:08,160 --> 00:16:09,196
Lot of red dots.
262
00:16:09,400 --> 00:16:12,438
All those red dots are sex offenders
in our neighborhood?
263
00:16:12,600 --> 00:16:15,593
Wait, check this out.
Child rapist, three blocks over.
264
00:16:15,760 --> 00:16:17,717
Did five years and out on probation.
265
00:16:17,880 --> 00:16:20,395
- How does a child rapist get five years?
- He doesn't.
266
00:16:20,560 --> 00:16:23,359
He gets five years
plus the beating of his life. Let's go.
267
00:16:23,520 --> 00:16:25,955
- We were gonna fix the pool.
- No, grab the bat.
268
00:16:26,120 --> 00:16:27,952
- Awesome.
- You want help?
269
00:16:28,120 --> 00:16:31,511
- My dad loves a good posse.
- We're forgetting about the guy on the bus?
270
00:16:31,680 --> 00:16:35,356
Hell no. I'm gonna teach you self-defense,
Milkovich style.
271
00:16:35,520 --> 00:16:37,637
- Come on.
- Yeah, let's go.
272
00:16:38,360 --> 00:16:41,000
Yo, we're going to jump a pedophile.
You wanna come?
273
00:16:41,160 --> 00:16:43,800
Oh. Sounds great, but I can't.
274
00:16:46,280 --> 00:16:47,999
You're acting cagey, okay?
275
00:16:48,200 --> 00:16:50,715
There's been an Escalade
parked across the street...
276
00:16:50,880 --> 00:16:53,315
...for longer than makes sense.
What's going on?
277
00:16:54,280 --> 00:16:56,033
I don't want to know?
278
00:16:57,160 --> 00:16:59,959
Because if you told me,
I'd have to tell Fiona...
279
00:17:00,160 --> 00:17:03,836
...which would upset the delicate peace
we've recently established?
280
00:17:06,640 --> 00:17:09,360
- Right.
- Have fun wailing on the pedophile.
281
00:17:09,520 --> 00:17:11,000
Is there any way not to?
282
00:17:11,560 --> 00:17:14,598
- Thank you.
- No, thank you, Marta. Thank you.
283
00:17:14,800 --> 00:17:16,792
Now, you stay strong.
284
00:17:19,080 --> 00:17:20,309
Hello. May I help you?
285
00:17:20,480 --> 00:17:22,711
I hope so. I'm Frank Gallagher.
286
00:17:22,880 --> 00:17:27,432
And may I start by saying thank you
for all you do for our suffering little ones.
287
00:17:27,600 --> 00:17:30,035
Thank you, Mr. Gallagher.
288
00:17:30,200 --> 00:17:32,760
This is my son, Hymie.
289
00:17:32,920 --> 00:17:36,914
He was born with an extra chromosome
through no fault of his own.
290
00:17:37,080 --> 00:17:39,720
Down Syndrome.
It's a lifelong condition.
291
00:17:39,880 --> 00:17:41,280
It's irreversible.
292
00:17:41,440 --> 00:17:42,760
He's a beautiful boy.
293
00:17:42,920 --> 00:17:44,593
Aren't you, Hymie? Yes, you are.
294
00:17:44,760 --> 00:17:51,280
And believe it or not, he is already,
at such a young age, an avid sports fan.
295
00:17:51,440 --> 00:17:52,510
Is that so?
296
00:17:52,680 --> 00:17:56,959
He can watch a ball
dribble up and down a court for hours.
297
00:17:57,120 --> 00:18:01,478
Endlessly fascinated.
His little face just lights up with joy.
298
00:18:02,000 --> 00:18:06,995
It would be so wonderful if he could
see it all happen in real life.
299
00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:12,471
I'm sorry, Mr. Gallagher.
I think you may be confused.
300
00:18:13,040 --> 00:18:17,080
Our organization works
with dying children.
301
00:18:17,280 --> 00:18:19,590
Not children with Downs.
302
00:18:20,280 --> 00:18:22,033
Of course.
303
00:18:22,800 --> 00:18:25,315
Of course. I know that.
304
00:18:27,680 --> 00:18:30,639
It's my other child that's dying.
305
00:18:31,360 --> 00:18:32,953
Oh, I'm so--
306
00:18:33,160 --> 00:18:34,640
Thank you.
307
00:18:48,720 --> 00:18:50,200
Drive.
308
00:18:58,280 --> 00:19:00,556
The fuck you want?
309
00:19:01,040 --> 00:19:04,192
Convicted child rapist
just moved in down the street.
310
00:19:04,360 --> 00:19:05,589
Let's get the boys.
311
00:19:13,000 --> 00:19:14,992
The fuck is this little parade?
312
00:19:15,160 --> 00:19:16,992
Kid fucker, next block.
313
00:19:25,760 --> 00:19:28,798
- May I help you?
- We're looking for Blake Collins.
314
00:19:30,200 --> 00:19:31,680
I'm Blake Collins.
315
00:19:32,480 --> 00:19:33,709
Oh, shit.
316
00:19:33,880 --> 00:19:37,874
You're the eighth-grade teacher
who screwed her student, right?
317
00:19:38,040 --> 00:19:39,633
You were on TV.
318
00:19:39,800 --> 00:19:42,872
I didn't screw William. I loved him.
319
00:19:43,400 --> 00:19:46,313
And I did my time. I paid for my mistake.
320
00:19:46,480 --> 00:19:48,676
If love can be called a mistake.
321
00:19:50,560 --> 00:19:54,440
I'm sure there are real criminals you can
beat up if you have the inclination.
322
00:19:54,600 --> 00:19:56,478
Now, please, may I close the door?
323
00:19:56,640 --> 00:19:58,632
Yeah. Yeah.
324
00:20:02,440 --> 00:20:05,911
Shit. Let's go find a camel jockey.
325
00:20:06,120 --> 00:20:08,476
Help Carl get home, all right?
326
00:20:08,680 --> 00:20:10,592
Shit, we should still do something.
327
00:20:10,760 --> 00:20:13,878
- Thinking gang bang?
- No, but she fucks little kids.
328
00:20:14,640 --> 00:20:18,600
- It was one kid. And he wasn't that little.
- Look, he was 14, she was his teacher.
329
00:20:18,760 --> 00:20:20,991
We want a pedophile
living in the neighborhood?
330
00:20:21,160 --> 00:20:24,790
Shit, if I was 14 and had a teacher who
looked like that and wanted it?
331
00:20:24,960 --> 00:20:27,316
Damn, I'm getting wood
just thinking about that.
332
00:20:27,480 --> 00:20:29,517
Yo, Angie.
333
00:20:30,320 --> 00:20:32,630
- Yeah?
- You wanna fuck?
334
00:20:32,800 --> 00:20:34,393
Sure.
335
00:20:40,000 --> 00:20:42,959
- Now, see, I thought you two were--?
- Shut up.
336
00:20:43,280 --> 00:20:44,999
Hope you're using a raincoat.
337
00:20:45,160 --> 00:20:46,992
You were having sex at 14.
338
00:20:47,160 --> 00:20:49,311
I was having sex with a 14-year-old at 14.
339
00:20:49,520 --> 00:20:52,035
- You think Kash should have gone to jail?
- I do.
340
00:20:52,200 --> 00:20:55,750
Almost called the cops a hundred times.
Creepy Arab fucking my brother.
341
00:20:55,920 --> 00:20:58,515
I was 15. I was old enough
to make my own decisions.
342
00:20:58,680 --> 00:21:02,151
- You were a kid. He was a man.
- Says you.
343
00:21:02,400 --> 00:21:05,359
You want this chick in the neighborhood?
Think about Carl.
344
00:21:05,520 --> 00:21:06,670
Carl should be so lucky.
345
00:21:06,840 --> 00:21:09,275
What if it was Debbie
and a 30-year-old dude?
346
00:21:09,440 --> 00:21:11,750
- It's different.
- Bullshit, it's different.
347
00:21:11,920 --> 00:21:14,435
She's not hanging around the park
with lollipops.
348
00:21:14,600 --> 00:21:17,115
- She fell in love.
- It's got nothing to do with love.
349
00:21:17,280 --> 00:21:21,877
This chick is a standard-issue pedophile
and I'm gonna prove it.
350
00:21:31,280 --> 00:21:34,591
- Sorry I'm late.
- I hate this INS bullshit.
351
00:21:34,760 --> 00:21:36,956
America is supposed to be
free country, no?
352
00:21:47,200 --> 00:21:49,351
Hey! That's a nice outfit.
353
00:21:49,520 --> 00:21:52,831
- It's not an outfit. It's a perv trap.
- Is that like a bear trap?
354
00:21:53,040 --> 00:21:55,874
Your titties clamp around the wrist
and they have to gnaw off their paws?
355
00:21:56,080 --> 00:21:58,151
- Ha-ha-ha.
- Two o'clock.
356
00:21:58,320 --> 00:22:00,710
- I got it.
- Hmm.
357
00:22:01,920 --> 00:22:04,196
Tsk. She hates me, doesn't she?
358
00:22:04,360 --> 00:22:06,238
No. She just don't know you yet.
359
00:22:06,400 --> 00:22:08,960
I mean, I get it.
I would hate me too if I were her.
360
00:22:09,120 --> 00:22:11,840
I mean, I show up here with my kid in tow.
361
00:22:12,000 --> 00:22:14,037
And you haven't seen me in years.
362
00:22:14,200 --> 00:22:17,910
It's almost like I'm trying
to get you back or something.
363
00:22:18,360 --> 00:22:21,353
But honestly, Kev,
I don't even know if Kyle's yours.
364
00:22:21,520 --> 00:22:26,197
I was really getting around back then,
so V has nothing to worry about.
365
00:22:29,080 --> 00:22:30,833
What? What I say?
366
00:22:31,400 --> 00:22:32,959
You think Kyle could be mine?
367
00:22:33,160 --> 00:22:34,753
You didn't do that math?
368
00:22:34,920 --> 00:22:36,877
Shit. Sorry.
369
00:22:38,640 --> 00:22:40,472
Cancer?
370
00:22:41,640 --> 00:22:43,632
How did I get cancer?
371
00:22:43,840 --> 00:22:45,877
You must have caught it
from Grammy, son.
372
00:22:46,040 --> 00:22:48,271
If she had known
she had the contagious kind...
373
00:22:48,440 --> 00:22:52,116
...I don't think she would have spent
so much time with you cooking meth.
374
00:22:52,280 --> 00:22:54,237
Am I going to die?
375
00:22:56,520 --> 00:22:57,954
I hope not.
376
00:22:58,480 --> 00:23:02,394
But right now,
we have to fight and fight hard.
377
00:23:03,880 --> 00:23:06,634
You ready to fight with me, Carl?
378
00:23:11,800 --> 00:23:13,314
Why do we have to shave it?
379
00:23:13,480 --> 00:23:15,676
Didn't you ever see any shows
about cancer?
380
00:23:15,840 --> 00:23:18,355
Cancer people are always bald.
381
00:23:19,080 --> 00:23:23,359
- Grammy wasn't bald.
- Grammy hated life. She wanted to die.
382
00:23:23,520 --> 00:23:25,079
But you love life.
383
00:23:25,240 --> 00:23:28,119
And one of the most important ways
you can fight cancer...
384
00:23:28,280 --> 00:23:30,875
...is to let the sun rays
in through your skull.
385
00:23:34,320 --> 00:23:37,358
- Why are you shaving Carl's head?
- Lice.
386
00:23:37,560 --> 00:23:39,517
Since when do you...
387
00:23:40,120 --> 00:23:42,430
- ...parent?
- Since you dropped the ball.
388
00:23:42,600 --> 00:23:45,513
The vermin were literally
jumping off his scalp.
389
00:23:47,200 --> 00:23:49,157
Make sure you wash his sheets too,
okay?
390
00:23:49,680 --> 00:23:51,831
I look like a woman?
391
00:23:52,640 --> 00:23:55,439
- I have lice too?
- Yes.
392
00:23:55,600 --> 00:23:57,751
- Yes, you do.
- Fiona's gonna freak out.
393
00:23:57,960 --> 00:24:02,955
No, Fiona is not going to freak out
because Fiona is not going to know.
394
00:24:03,120 --> 00:24:07,194
You're a man now, Carl.
The cancer makes you a man.
395
00:24:07,360 --> 00:24:09,272
And as a man...
396
00:24:09,440 --> 00:24:13,036
...it's your job to keep secrets
from the women who love you.
397
00:24:14,440 --> 00:24:17,638
Jeez. I'm gonna look like a penis.
398
00:24:19,080 --> 00:24:22,960
I'll get you a hat.
399
00:24:26,440 --> 00:24:27,874
- Yes?
- Hi.
400
00:24:28,040 --> 00:24:29,713
How you doing? I'm Lip.
401
00:24:29,880 --> 00:24:32,918
Short for Phillip.
I just live right over on 64th.
402
00:24:33,080 --> 00:24:35,800
I'm gonna be a sophomore next year
at Lincoln.
403
00:24:35,960 --> 00:24:40,318
I was walking by your yard,
and it looks pretty overgrown.
404
00:24:40,480 --> 00:24:42,153
I was wondering...
405
00:24:42,320 --> 00:24:44,710
...can I trim your hedges?
406
00:24:44,920 --> 00:24:46,274
Like, five bucks an hour?
407
00:24:47,320 --> 00:24:49,437
- "May I trim your hedges."
- Oh.
408
00:24:49,600 --> 00:24:50,920
Right. Yeah. Sorry.
409
00:24:51,800 --> 00:24:53,871
May I trim your hedges?
410
00:24:59,480 --> 00:25:01,392
Yeah.
411
00:25:01,600 --> 00:25:03,557
Yeah. It's good. It's good. We're good.
412
00:25:03,720 --> 00:25:06,110
- No!
- We're taking fake wedding pictures...
413
00:25:06,280 --> 00:25:10,035
- ...for the INS. No one's gonna see the dress.
- The INS will see me.
414
00:25:10,200 --> 00:25:13,511
And if I look like cow,
they will know it fake.
415
00:25:13,680 --> 00:25:16,115
And I will get deported because of this.
416
00:25:16,320 --> 00:25:17,754
And you will go to prison.
417
00:25:21,000 --> 00:25:22,719
- She's your wife.
- No.
418
00:25:22,920 --> 00:25:26,391
- You married her before God, no?
- No. I married her before her father...
419
00:25:26,560 --> 00:25:29,997
...who had a gun pointed at my nuts.
It's different somehow.
420
00:25:40,640 --> 00:25:42,677
Buy something.
421
00:25:47,000 --> 00:25:48,798
Eighty-nine cents.
422
00:25:56,320 --> 00:25:58,880
- I don't get it.
- Take the cup out of the trash.
423
00:25:59,040 --> 00:26:00,918
Oh, the stuff's in it. Okay.
424
00:26:01,120 --> 00:26:02,520
Just get out.
425
00:26:02,680 --> 00:26:05,434
You need whatever brain cells
you got left.
426
00:26:10,080 --> 00:26:13,517
- Why you gotta mess with my business?
- Why do your business in my store?
427
00:26:13,680 --> 00:26:16,240
- Ain't your store. It's towelhead's store.
- Whatever.
428
00:26:16,400 --> 00:26:19,598
Get smarter customers.
Because I'm not going down for this shit.
429
00:26:19,800 --> 00:26:21,712
Oh, okay.
430
00:26:21,880 --> 00:26:25,191
So, what you going down for then, huh?
431
00:26:33,880 --> 00:26:36,998
Hey, did you really fuck
Angie Zahgo today?
432
00:26:37,880 --> 00:26:40,600
Yeah, I fucked Angie.
Everybody fucks Angie.
433
00:26:41,080 --> 00:26:42,639
You don't fuck Angie?
434
00:26:43,240 --> 00:26:46,438
- No.
- Huh.
435
00:26:46,800 --> 00:26:49,190
Wanna fuck Angie?
I could call, get her down here.
436
00:26:49,360 --> 00:26:51,158
No.
437
00:27:14,240 --> 00:27:15,594
Hey.
438
00:27:16,680 --> 00:27:18,637
Ow! Uhn.
439
00:27:18,800 --> 00:27:20,200
Who are you?
440
00:27:20,360 --> 00:27:21,999
- Kyle.
- What's your business here?
441
00:27:22,200 --> 00:27:25,238
I may or may not be related
to your neighbor Kevin.
442
00:27:25,400 --> 00:27:26,390
Oh.
443
00:27:26,600 --> 00:27:29,434
Okay. Sorry. I'm Debbie Gallagher.
444
00:27:30,520 --> 00:27:33,513
Any idea where I can get a smoke?
445
00:27:48,400 --> 00:27:51,677
- Finished already?
- Yeah, not quite. I'm just...
446
00:27:53,560 --> 00:27:55,119
...really hot.
447
00:27:56,760 --> 00:27:57,989
Um...
448
00:27:58,960 --> 00:28:01,714
Could I bother you
for something to drink?
449
00:28:01,880 --> 00:28:03,234
Juice box?
450
00:28:03,840 --> 00:28:06,560
Yes, please.
451
00:28:07,960 --> 00:28:09,713
Just wait here.
452
00:28:22,840 --> 00:28:24,320
Hi.
453
00:28:25,040 --> 00:28:28,670
- I told you to wait out there.
- Yeah, so sorry. I just--
454
00:28:28,840 --> 00:28:32,311
I wondered if I could bother you
for a sandwich too.
455
00:28:32,520 --> 00:28:34,477
I ain't had lunch.
456
00:28:34,640 --> 00:28:37,075
You haven't had lunch.
457
00:28:37,240 --> 00:28:40,472
- "Ain't" isn't a word, Phillip.
- Right.
458
00:28:40,640 --> 00:28:43,280
Hey, are you a teacher?
459
00:28:44,120 --> 00:28:46,954
I... I used to be.
460
00:28:47,200 --> 00:28:50,113
Oh. Bet you were a good one.
461
00:28:51,600 --> 00:28:54,672
- What kind of sandwich?
- PB and J?
462
00:28:56,320 --> 00:28:58,277
With the crusts cut off?
463
00:28:59,360 --> 00:29:01,033
Yes, please.
464
00:29:01,200 --> 00:29:03,112
And you should've heard her going on...
465
00:29:03,280 --> 00:29:05,272
...about Kev's cologne and old man Johnson.
466
00:29:05,440 --> 00:29:07,318
Anything that I wouldn't know about.
467
00:29:07,480 --> 00:29:09,119
You know what you're doing?
468
00:29:09,280 --> 00:29:12,432
Do I know how to make a man ask me
for a hummer? Wait here.
469
00:29:15,960 --> 00:29:20,034
Mm. He was born March, 2001.
470
00:29:21,200 --> 00:29:24,398
- Weren't we together?
- No. Remember, we split up that year?
471
00:29:24,560 --> 00:29:28,520
- Got back together after 9/11.
- Why'd we break up again?
472
00:29:28,680 --> 00:29:31,559
Oh, yeah.
You tried to run me over with your car.
473
00:29:32,920 --> 00:29:36,630
Yeah, I don't remember that being funny.
It was fucking scary.
474
00:29:36,800 --> 00:29:39,315
Well, as it turns out,
it was the pregnancy hormones.
475
00:29:40,320 --> 00:29:42,118
You were knocked up?
476
00:29:43,480 --> 00:29:44,675
So he is mine.
477
00:29:45,440 --> 00:29:49,514
Tsk. I don't know, Kev.
We were off and on that year.
478
00:29:49,720 --> 00:29:51,439
There were other guys.
479
00:29:51,640 --> 00:29:54,553
When you left me,
I didn't think I could raise him on my own.
480
00:29:54,720 --> 00:29:58,634
So I gave him to my sister Crystal
because she always wanted a kid.
481
00:29:58,800 --> 00:30:02,191
Now she's going through some shit,
needed me to take him.
482
00:30:02,400 --> 00:30:04,960
And we thought it was time
he knew the truth.
483
00:30:07,000 --> 00:30:10,914
You thought it was time.
You didn't think it might've been time...
484
00:30:11,120 --> 00:30:13,760
...at any point in the 12 years
this kid has been alive?
485
00:30:13,920 --> 00:30:16,071
- I'm really sorry.
- You're sorry?
486
00:30:16,240 --> 00:30:19,790
- Twelve years, Cheryl.
- You left me.
487
00:30:20,560 --> 00:30:24,395
If there was a chance he could've been
mine, you should have told me about him.
488
00:30:32,040 --> 00:30:35,158
Did I tell you she called her coffee
"Kevy-caf"? Like a pet name.
489
00:30:35,320 --> 00:30:37,630
Like they have some language
that I don't speak.
490
00:30:37,800 --> 00:30:40,599
- V, what happened?
- Oh. Corn dogs, cream cheese...
491
00:30:40,760 --> 00:30:43,275
- ...I got it all on tape. He's nasty.
- Right?
492
00:30:43,480 --> 00:30:45,278
Go, he's waiting on you.
493
00:30:46,960 --> 00:30:49,350
I want day shifts. Home by 6.
494
00:30:51,800 --> 00:30:55,077
Couldn't help but notice your wedding ring,
Bobby.
495
00:30:55,240 --> 00:30:59,200
- You want your wife to see this tape?
- Fine. Days.
496
00:30:59,360 --> 00:31:01,875
Just fill this out.
497
00:31:02,040 --> 00:31:04,839
And we'll be taking some veal cutlets
for our troubles.
498
00:31:05,000 --> 00:31:09,950
Actual veal cutlets.
None of your skanky deli meats.
499
00:31:19,840 --> 00:31:21,160
Go, go, go.
500
00:31:29,240 --> 00:31:31,630
That is terrible ugly dress.
501
00:31:31,800 --> 00:31:34,759
Your friend,
she must not like you very much.
502
00:31:34,920 --> 00:31:36,070
Let's go. Let's go. Go.
503
00:31:39,840 --> 00:31:41,115
Mm.
504
00:31:42,040 --> 00:31:45,556
Um... You have a little...
505
00:31:45,720 --> 00:31:48,315
- Mm. Ahem.
- Oh. Mm.
506
00:31:51,320 --> 00:31:54,074
No, the other... The other...
507
00:32:01,160 --> 00:32:02,719
Did I get it?
508
00:32:03,240 --> 00:32:04,390
No.
509
00:32:05,840 --> 00:32:08,958
Mm... Can you help me?
510
00:32:18,880 --> 00:32:21,270
- How old are you really, Phillip?
- Sixteen.
511
00:32:23,280 --> 00:32:24,794
Almost.
512
00:32:27,160 --> 00:32:29,994
But I've always felt like an old soul.
513
00:32:34,120 --> 00:32:36,077
Oh! Aah.
514
00:32:36,240 --> 00:32:40,553
- You mustn't tell anyone.
- No, I won't, I won't. I promise you.
515
00:32:40,720 --> 00:32:44,236
You're such a good teacher.
I feel like I got so much to learn from you.
516
00:32:44,440 --> 00:32:46,079
"Have." You have so much to learn.
517
00:32:46,240 --> 00:32:47,435
- I do.
- You do.
518
00:32:55,400 --> 00:32:57,596
- I gotta go.
- Go?
519
00:32:57,760 --> 00:33:00,480
- Yeah, homework. Mm.
- In the summer?
520
00:33:00,760 --> 00:33:02,558
- Shit.
- Don't go, Phillip.
521
00:33:02,720 --> 00:33:05,315
I have more to teach you.
Come with me, Phillip.
522
00:33:05,480 --> 00:33:07,995
- I... I--
- Shh. Don't worry. Don't be scared.
523
00:33:08,160 --> 00:33:10,470
Okay? I'll teach you.
524
00:33:12,880 --> 00:33:16,840
- Are you coming, Phillip?
- Yeah. Yes. Coming.
525
00:33:17,000 --> 00:33:18,992
Bring the peanut butter.
526
00:33:30,000 --> 00:33:32,071
Nice place you got here.
527
00:33:34,000 --> 00:33:35,150
What are you doing here?
528
00:33:36,720 --> 00:33:38,871
I was hungry.
529
00:33:39,040 --> 00:33:41,953
So you drove all the way to the Southside
for a bag of chips?
530
00:33:42,160 --> 00:33:46,677
Well, a bag of chips and a ginger snap,
I'm hoping.
531
00:33:46,840 --> 00:33:50,197
- Keep the change.
- I'm working.
532
00:33:52,280 --> 00:33:56,274
Well, maybe later.
Happy hour at the Fountain.
533
00:33:56,440 --> 00:33:59,194
Yeah. Okay.
534
00:34:00,000 --> 00:34:01,434
Okay.
535
00:34:05,000 --> 00:34:06,798
You got a receipt?
536
00:34:23,480 --> 00:34:26,439
- That your grandpa?
- No. Just a guy I've been seeing.
537
00:34:26,600 --> 00:34:30,276
Oh. That's a guy you've been seeing.
538
00:34:32,280 --> 00:34:33,919
You guys, like, picnic together?
539
00:34:34,080 --> 00:34:36,834
Or gonna get a little dog
with a fucking sweater?
540
00:34:37,000 --> 00:34:39,515
No. We don't picnic. We mostly just fuck.
541
00:34:40,280 --> 00:34:42,033
Like you and Angie.
542
00:34:44,120 --> 00:34:47,750
That image.
It's, like, scorched behind my eyes...
543
00:34:47,920 --> 00:34:50,037
...like a fire breathing, one-eyed dragon.
544
00:34:52,000 --> 00:34:54,879
You don't have to smoke, you know.
It's cooler if you don't.
545
00:34:55,040 --> 00:34:56,759
- Really?
- Everyone smokes.
546
00:34:56,920 --> 00:34:59,310
You're only a rebel if you don't.
547
00:35:00,320 --> 00:35:02,835
Have you ever seen one in real life?
548
00:35:03,000 --> 00:35:05,959
Like on a grown-up? When it's...
549
00:35:06,720 --> 00:35:08,359
...like that?
550
00:35:08,520 --> 00:35:10,955
Yeah. I watch lots of porn.
551
00:35:11,120 --> 00:35:13,680
It's way different in real life
than those sketches...
552
00:35:13,880 --> 00:35:15,872
...they show you in health class, right?
553
00:35:17,240 --> 00:35:18,799
What's Kev like?
554
00:35:18,960 --> 00:35:23,193
Is he cool or is he batshit
like everyone else in my family?
555
00:35:23,880 --> 00:35:28,159
No, Kev's cool. Nice. Like you.
556
00:35:29,760 --> 00:35:33,800
I think I may become a nun.
Nuns don't have sex, right?
557
00:35:33,960 --> 00:35:35,474
You're pretty.
558
00:35:36,200 --> 00:35:38,317
Too pretty to be a nun.
559
00:36:02,280 --> 00:36:04,670
Hey, T. What's up, girl? You look skinny.
560
00:36:04,840 --> 00:36:08,151
Don't sweet talk me, V,
I've been sitting here for almost an hour.
561
00:36:08,320 --> 00:36:10,118
- What? Kev never showed up?
- No.
562
00:36:10,280 --> 00:36:13,193
Nobody's here to sign anything,
nobody's here to pay me...
563
00:36:13,360 --> 00:36:16,990
...and I sure as shit didn't cart my ass
all the way down here for free.
564
00:36:17,160 --> 00:36:19,959
Hey, you, kid. Where's your mother?
565
00:36:20,120 --> 00:36:22,316
She and Kev went to go get a drink.
566
00:36:22,480 --> 00:36:25,837
- He was freaking about the whole kid thing.
- What whole kid thing?
567
00:36:26,000 --> 00:36:28,754
About how I may be Kev's kid?
568
00:36:31,560 --> 00:36:34,712
- Debs, be home for dinner.
- I will.
569
00:36:34,920 --> 00:36:36,752
V?
570
00:36:36,960 --> 00:36:39,191
Veronica. Where's my $40?
571
00:36:39,360 --> 00:36:42,319
Here, here. I got it. Here you go.
572
00:36:47,240 --> 00:36:48,594
Hi.
573
00:36:54,480 --> 00:36:57,040
Am I--? Am I gonna get as sick as them?
574
00:37:00,480 --> 00:37:01,880
Only time will tell.
575
00:37:02,040 --> 00:37:04,874
The good news is
the cancer's in your brain...
576
00:37:05,040 --> 00:37:09,193
...and you never were much of a thinker,
so it probably won't affect you that much.
577
00:37:11,600 --> 00:37:14,354
- Oh, God. Oh, God!
- Wait. Wait.
578
00:37:14,520 --> 00:37:16,830
You need to learn to wait, Phillip.
Hold it back.
579
00:37:17,040 --> 00:37:20,636
- I'll get hard again.
- It gets better if you delay gratification.
580
00:37:20,840 --> 00:37:23,400
The joy, it's even bigger. Just wait, okay?
581
00:37:23,560 --> 00:37:25,438
Okay, that's... Wow.
582
00:37:25,600 --> 00:37:27,353
That's really fucking good.
583
00:37:27,520 --> 00:37:29,671
What is that? What is that that tingles?
584
00:37:29,840 --> 00:37:32,799
What is that,
some kind of sex cream or something?
585
00:37:32,960 --> 00:37:35,680
It's so...
586
00:37:35,840 --> 00:37:38,036
God, I don't think I can wait.
587
00:37:38,200 --> 00:37:41,432
No, no, no. You can do it, Phillip.
You're my A-plus student.
588
00:37:41,600 --> 00:37:43,478
- Okay? Breath deeper.
- Mm.
589
00:37:43,640 --> 00:37:45,791
Slowly.
590
00:37:45,960 --> 00:37:49,112
- Mm-hm.
- Slowly. Slow.
591
00:37:49,280 --> 00:37:50,714
Okay?
592
00:37:51,560 --> 00:37:53,392
- Okay.
- Good.
593
00:37:55,240 --> 00:37:58,597
What's--? What's that? Ah.
That's weird.
594
00:38:00,000 --> 00:38:02,560
That's cold. What is that?
595
00:38:02,720 --> 00:38:06,600
You trimmed my hedges.
Now I am trimming yours.
596
00:38:06,800 --> 00:38:09,315
Wait, what--? What is that? Fucking Nair?
597
00:38:09,480 --> 00:38:12,234
Fresh and clean now,
just like a baby, Phillip.
598
00:38:12,400 --> 00:38:14,596
- Ha-ha.
- Wait, no. Wha--?
599
00:38:15,080 --> 00:38:16,753
Oh, shit.
600
00:38:16,920 --> 00:38:18,718
You said you catered to dying children.
601
00:38:20,040 --> 00:38:22,600
Sir, the Bulls only give us
so many packages per season...
602
00:38:22,760 --> 00:38:25,673
- ...and it takes months.
- What the fuck, Frank?
603
00:38:25,840 --> 00:38:28,514
That's going on all day, every day.
604
00:38:28,680 --> 00:38:32,276
My son is suffering. Have you no soul?
605
00:38:32,440 --> 00:38:34,238
If you fill out an application now...
606
00:38:34,400 --> 00:38:38,030
- ...I can almost guarantee that for next year--
- He doesn't have a year.
607
00:38:39,920 --> 00:38:41,320
Oh.
608
00:38:41,720 --> 00:38:43,154
There's a camp.
609
00:38:43,320 --> 00:38:47,314
All the spots are full,
but there's a quadriplegic.
610
00:38:47,480 --> 00:38:50,120
He won't get much out of it.
I can bump him for Carl.
611
00:38:50,840 --> 00:38:53,196
- Camp?
- Like summer camp?
612
00:38:53,360 --> 00:38:55,079
It's beautiful. On a lake.
613
00:38:55,560 --> 00:38:59,554
A wonderful place for children
to feel normal one last time.
614
00:38:59,720 --> 00:39:02,792
What the hell am I supposed to do
with a trip to cancer camp?
615
00:39:02,960 --> 00:39:04,952
I've never been to camp.
616
00:39:09,040 --> 00:39:10,554
Jimmy.
617
00:39:10,720 --> 00:39:13,155
Come sit with me.
I want to show you something.
618
00:39:16,680 --> 00:39:18,000
Come.
619
00:39:23,560 --> 00:39:26,792
- Hey.
- All of this romantic pretending...
620
00:39:29,040 --> 00:39:31,680
...it make me so hot.
621
00:39:33,120 --> 00:39:34,839
And wet.
622
00:39:37,880 --> 00:39:40,076
- Ow. Ow.
- Feel.
623
00:39:40,240 --> 00:39:42,471
We should not put all that water to waste,
no?
624
00:39:42,640 --> 00:39:44,359
- No?
- No.
625
00:39:45,400 --> 00:39:47,596
No, Este, Este, Este, listen.
626
00:39:47,760 --> 00:39:50,480
- I-- I--
- Yes?
627
00:39:50,640 --> 00:39:52,597
I can't.
628
00:39:52,760 --> 00:39:55,320
- I-- I--
- Yes?
629
00:39:55,520 --> 00:39:57,159
- I can't.
- Yes?
630
00:39:57,320 --> 00:40:00,313
- No. I can't.
- Aah!
631
00:40:00,480 --> 00:40:03,120
I-- No, I can't.
632
00:40:03,280 --> 00:40:07,069
- Yes! Yes!
- Oh, fuck. No.
633
00:40:32,280 --> 00:40:35,398
All right, what are we gonna do?
Whose ass am I kicking first?
634
00:40:35,560 --> 00:40:37,199
There's no ass to kick.
635
00:40:37,360 --> 00:40:40,194
Kev's a little boy
with a white-picket-fence fantasy...
636
00:40:40,360 --> 00:40:42,591
...and in walks his wife with his son.
637
00:40:42,760 --> 00:40:45,753
We don't know that.
First thing we do is get a paternity test.
638
00:40:45,960 --> 00:40:47,519
It's not about blood to Kev.
639
00:40:47,680 --> 00:40:52,072
There's a woman he grew up with
and married saying her son is his.
640
00:40:52,240 --> 00:40:54,709
- That's stupid.
- It's not. Look at you.
641
00:40:54,880 --> 00:40:58,510
You're a mother to your kids,
doesn't matter you didn't push them out.
642
00:41:01,840 --> 00:41:04,753
Kev's the first good man I've ever loved,
you know?
643
00:41:04,920 --> 00:41:08,231
My first love was named Apollo.
Enough said.
644
00:41:08,440 --> 00:41:10,750
- Then there was Spider.
- Spider?
645
00:41:10,920 --> 00:41:12,832
You can't make that shit up.
646
00:41:15,920 --> 00:41:19,038
No, I-- I can't fight for Kev.
647
00:41:20,360 --> 00:41:22,556
Asking him to pick me over them...
648
00:41:22,720 --> 00:41:26,680
...is asking him to change the thing
about him that I love the most.
649
00:41:28,240 --> 00:41:30,311
- Screw that.
- Fi.
650
00:41:30,480 --> 00:41:33,996
- No. Screw that.
- Fiona.
651
00:41:35,400 --> 00:41:36,800
Fi.
652
00:41:38,320 --> 00:41:39,993
Good catch.
653
00:41:40,320 --> 00:41:43,040
Kev! What the fuck?
654
00:41:43,200 --> 00:41:45,760
- There's kids.
- Think they haven't heard it before?
655
00:41:45,920 --> 00:41:48,071
- What are you, drunk?
- No, I'm not drunk.
656
00:41:48,240 --> 00:41:51,870
I'm out of my mind because you and V
are the only things that made sense...
657
00:41:52,040 --> 00:41:54,714
...in this fucked up world.
If you can't make it...
658
00:41:54,880 --> 00:41:57,031
...Jimmy and I should just quit
right now.
659
00:41:57,240 --> 00:42:00,312
- I swear to God, if you leave V--
- Who's leaving V?
660
00:42:00,480 --> 00:42:03,393
- You're leaving V?
- No. Fiona, what the hell?
661
00:42:03,560 --> 00:42:05,711
The notary, Kev? The divorce papers?
662
00:42:05,880 --> 00:42:07,075
Oh...
663
00:42:07,400 --> 00:42:11,917
Shit. I had some drinks.
And Cheryl dropped this kid bomb and...
664
00:42:12,080 --> 00:42:14,072
- Hey.
- I forgot.
665
00:42:14,240 --> 00:42:16,038
- You're interrupting.
- Excuse me?
666
00:42:16,600 --> 00:42:18,910
Kev's trying to get to know his son.
667
00:42:20,000 --> 00:42:22,117
Give my boys their time.
668
00:42:23,560 --> 00:42:27,156
- Your boys?
- No, no. Fiona, it's not what you think.
669
00:42:27,320 --> 00:42:30,154
Look, Cheryl and I have history, that's it.
670
00:42:30,320 --> 00:42:34,792
She's not trying to steal me away from V.
She just wants me to meet my son.
671
00:42:37,880 --> 00:42:42,909
I know school was never your thing,
but you've never been dumb.
672
00:42:43,120 --> 00:42:47,353
If you don't see what's happening here,
just plain dumb.
673
00:42:47,520 --> 00:42:49,637
Come on, Debs, dinnertime.
674
00:42:49,800 --> 00:42:52,235
- Can Kyle come?
- No.
675
00:42:55,240 --> 00:42:56,674
All right.
676
00:42:56,880 --> 00:43:00,476
You know, my mother,
she reminds me very much of your Fiona.
677
00:43:00,680 --> 00:43:03,798
Beautiful. Raised six kids.
Never complained.
678
00:43:03,960 --> 00:43:08,512
A saint. My father, he was a...
679
00:43:10,320 --> 00:43:13,279
- A rolling stone.
- She put my hand there.
680
00:43:13,480 --> 00:43:16,552
I didn't even move it.
681
00:43:16,720 --> 00:43:20,680
That is something exactly like
my father would have say.
682
00:43:25,800 --> 00:43:29,191
- Did that fatty actually cop a feel?
- He totally copped a feel.
683
00:43:29,360 --> 00:43:32,592
You gotta be kidding me.
I mean, what's up with that?
684
00:43:33,720 --> 00:43:36,360
Shit, Mickey.
What the hell are you doing here?
685
00:43:36,520 --> 00:43:38,239
Oh. From the store, right?
686
00:43:38,400 --> 00:43:40,437
Come on, Ian, don't be rude.
687
00:43:40,600 --> 00:43:44,480
Invite your boyfriend back to my place.
I mean, the more the merrier, right?
688
00:43:44,680 --> 00:43:48,720
- I'm sorry, what did you call me?
- What?
689
00:43:48,880 --> 00:43:50,872
- Jesus, Mickey.
- Faggot.
690
00:43:51,040 --> 00:43:53,430
- What the fuck you call me, faggot?
- Enough.
691
00:44:00,000 --> 00:44:02,674
- What the fuck, Gallagher?
- They're gonna call the cops.
692
00:44:03,680 --> 00:44:05,034
- Are you okay?
- Come on.
693
00:44:06,320 --> 00:44:07,879
- Sorry.
- Gallagher!
694
00:44:08,080 --> 00:44:10,072
Sorry. I'll text you.
695
00:44:12,120 --> 00:44:13,679
Oh, shit.
696
00:44:23,800 --> 00:44:25,473
What the fuck is wrong with you?
697
00:44:37,680 --> 00:44:40,195
Where'd you learn this?
698
00:44:40,400 --> 00:44:42,631
Nowhere. Just relax and enjoy.
699
00:44:42,800 --> 00:44:46,157
You been watching porn without me?
You know I consider that cheating.
700
00:44:46,320 --> 00:44:49,836
No. I haven't. Although I do consider
that rule pretty unrealistic.
701
00:44:50,040 --> 00:44:52,953
I just thought it up.
702
00:44:53,120 --> 00:44:55,077
It's hot, right?
703
00:44:55,240 --> 00:44:57,835
Maybe if I was licking it off you.
704
00:44:58,320 --> 00:45:01,757
- I'm hungry. Trade places.
- No.
705
00:45:01,920 --> 00:45:05,357
No?
Since when do you turn down a B.J.?
706
00:45:07,200 --> 00:45:09,078
Your dick's not even hard.
707
00:45:17,520 --> 00:45:20,080
What? I did a little manscaping.
708
00:45:22,400 --> 00:45:25,871
Shit. It's not my fault, okay?
709
00:45:26,600 --> 00:45:30,480
What? She's a pedophile!
Look, it was a sting operation.
710
00:45:32,040 --> 00:45:36,796
- Look, I took a picture for the cops.
- Fuck the cops. They had their chance.
711
00:45:37,920 --> 00:45:39,320
Shit.
712
00:45:48,840 --> 00:45:51,560
- Smells good.
- What's with Mandy?
713
00:45:51,720 --> 00:45:53,791
Something she wanted to do.
Where's Jimmy?
714
00:45:53,960 --> 00:45:56,270
No idea.
715
00:45:56,480 --> 00:45:58,437
- What happened to your head, Carl?
- Lice.
716
00:45:58,600 --> 00:46:00,592
- Again?
- Yeah, Frank shaved it.
717
00:46:00,760 --> 00:46:02,513
Yeah, he got me into a summer camp.
718
00:46:02,680 --> 00:46:05,798
- What? Why would he do that?
- I don't know. But it's cool, right?
719
00:46:05,960 --> 00:46:07,952
Yeah, that's awesome, Carl.
720
00:46:27,920 --> 00:46:29,832
I'm gonna know my kid.
721
00:46:32,600 --> 00:46:35,718
I gonna know my kid
and you can't have a problem with that.
722
00:46:38,600 --> 00:46:43,470
Look, I... I don't care about Cheryl, V.
723
00:46:44,320 --> 00:46:47,711
I used to,
but she's nothing but a memory to me now.
724
00:46:47,880 --> 00:46:52,750
And I'm sorry I didn't go see the notary.
725
00:46:53,880 --> 00:46:57,191
But I would never leave you. Ever.
726
00:46:58,360 --> 00:47:00,431
You gotta know that.
727
00:47:03,680 --> 00:47:07,196
After everything we've been through...
728
00:47:08,880 --> 00:47:11,475
...you kind of just have to know that.
729
00:47:19,680 --> 00:47:22,400
Whoa. You just snotted the whole table.
730
00:47:24,440 --> 00:47:26,033
Kev?
731
00:47:26,880 --> 00:47:28,678
Kev.
732
00:47:33,120 --> 00:47:35,555
What the fuck? Are they laughing at me?
733
00:47:35,720 --> 00:47:37,154
- No.
- Yes.
734
00:47:37,320 --> 00:47:39,118
- Fiona.
- Fuck you.
735
00:47:39,280 --> 00:47:41,112
- Excuse you?
- Cheryl, listen.
736
00:47:41,280 --> 00:47:43,795
No, I'm done listening.
Kyle, go pack our shit now.
737
00:47:44,000 --> 00:47:47,152
- Would you listen to me?
- You could've had this and you want that?
738
00:47:47,320 --> 00:47:50,233
She's some kind of nympho.
Has three drawers full of dildos.
739
00:47:50,400 --> 00:47:53,199
- What you doing going through my shit?
- What's a dildo?
740
00:47:53,360 --> 00:47:56,080
- Cheryl, listen--
- You're as thick as the day I met you.
741
00:47:56,280 --> 00:47:59,239
I get that you're mad,
but I wanna be a father to Kyle.
742
00:47:59,400 --> 00:48:03,792
- I'll get you a place nearby--
- He's not yours, Kev. He isn't even mine.
743
00:48:03,960 --> 00:48:06,873
He's my sister's, you stupid piece of shit.
744
00:48:09,520 --> 00:48:11,591
What did she say?
745
00:48:11,800 --> 00:48:14,952
- What did you say?
- What the fuck, bitch?
746
00:48:19,280 --> 00:48:22,273
- Should we stop them, or...?
- What, you wanna lose an eye?
747
00:48:22,840 --> 00:48:24,069
You crazy bitch.
748
00:48:26,160 --> 00:48:30,200
Crazy bitch. You come into my house
and make up some shit like that?
749
00:48:30,360 --> 00:48:32,955
Get your hands off me,
you dirty, barren whore!
750
00:48:33,120 --> 00:48:34,998
Barren?
751
00:48:36,360 --> 00:48:38,920
- Shit, the TV!
- No!
752
00:48:40,160 --> 00:48:41,833
Not the TV!
753
00:48:42,960 --> 00:48:46,158
Get the divorce papers, Kev.
This bitch is about to sign.
754
00:48:46,360 --> 00:48:49,194
- I'm not signing shit!
- This way, this way, this way!
755
00:48:51,000 --> 00:48:54,277
You wanna walk away with four limbs?
You're gonna sign. The papers!
756
00:48:54,440 --> 00:48:55,760
- Fuck you!
- You're signing.
757
00:48:57,400 --> 00:48:59,153
The papers!
758
00:49:03,560 --> 00:49:05,119
Sign it!
759
00:49:05,320 --> 00:49:07,198
If you could initial that too.
760
00:49:14,800 --> 00:49:17,474
Uh-uh. Not one word, just drive away.
761
00:49:21,800 --> 00:49:25,794
- Get the fuck out of here!
- Bitch, you so crazy.
762
00:49:26,760 --> 00:49:28,240
Hell yeah!
763
00:49:28,440 --> 00:49:30,477
- Damn right, baby.
- Yay! Whoo!
764
00:49:30,640 --> 00:49:31,915
- Yeah!
- Here we go!
765
00:49:32,080 --> 00:49:34,072
Hell yeah!
766
00:49:37,760 --> 00:49:39,160
You're still here.
767
00:49:39,320 --> 00:49:41,789
You think I'm getting in a car
with that psycho?
768
00:49:41,960 --> 00:49:46,193
Hey, can I borrow your phone?
I need to call my mom. My other mom.
769
00:49:46,360 --> 00:49:47,714
Sure.
770
00:49:49,480 --> 00:49:52,279
- You wanna eat dinner first?
- Sure.
771
00:49:52,440 --> 00:49:53,874
Cool.
772
00:50:06,840 --> 00:50:09,071
- You Blake?
- Yes?
773
00:50:09,240 --> 00:50:12,551
You're moving now, Blake.
You're moving tonight.
774
00:50:12,720 --> 00:50:16,999
- Excuse me?
- I don't excuse you, you sick bitch.
775
00:50:17,200 --> 00:50:19,396
I don't excuse you because you're hot...
776
00:50:19,560 --> 00:50:22,871
...because you're blond or because
of what you got between your legs.
777
00:50:23,080 --> 00:50:24,514
Come take a look.
778
00:50:27,440 --> 00:50:31,116
You see that?
They're digging your grave.
779
00:50:31,280 --> 00:50:34,034
And you wanna be gone
before they get down to 6 feet.
780
00:50:34,200 --> 00:50:36,032
- How's it going, boys?
- Good.
781
00:50:36,200 --> 00:50:38,669
We dug the Berlanti grave in what,
two hours?
782
00:50:38,840 --> 00:50:41,958
But this dirt is nice and soft.
Going a lot faster.
783
00:50:42,120 --> 00:50:45,272
Tick-tock, kid fucker.
784
00:50:50,080 --> 00:50:52,231
- Hey.
- Hey.
785
00:50:54,440 --> 00:50:56,511
- You look stressed.
- I do?
786
00:50:57,960 --> 00:50:59,792
- How was your day?
- Good.
787
00:50:59,960 --> 00:51:03,351
- How'd it go at the doctor?
- Good.
788
00:51:03,520 --> 00:51:05,034
It's healing.
789
00:51:19,320 --> 00:51:20,959
Hey, hey, hey.
790
00:51:26,720 --> 00:51:31,237
The world's messed up.
So much ugly shit happens.
791
00:51:31,440 --> 00:51:34,592
I don't know, Kev and V and...
792
00:51:38,480 --> 00:51:40,517
I trust you.
793
00:51:43,880 --> 00:51:48,671
That's bigger to me than I love you.
It's a bigger deal.
794
00:51:50,600 --> 00:51:52,114
I trust you.
795
00:52:22,560 --> 00:52:23,710
Two hundred?
796
00:52:23,880 --> 00:52:26,395
No reason to waste
a perfectly good grave.
61922
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