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1
00:00:55,264 --> 00:00:58,678
"This royal throne of kings."
2
00:00:58,809 --> 00:01:00,675
"This earth of Majesty."
3
00:01:00,727 --> 00:01:02,719
"This seat of Mars."
4
00:01:02,771 --> 00:01:06,105
"This other Eden; demi-paradise."
5
00:01:06,567 --> 00:01:12,108
"This fortress built by Nature for herself,
Against infection and the hand of war."
6
00:01:12,406 --> 00:01:14,489
"This happy breed of men."
7
00:01:14,825 --> 00:01:16,566
"This little world."
8
00:01:16,743 --> 00:01:21,704
"This precious stone set in a silver sea,
Which serves it in the office of a wall"...
9
00:01:21,915 --> 00:01:24,703
..."or as a moat, defensive to a house"...
10
00:01:24,918 --> 00:01:27,752
..."against the envy of less
happier lands."
11
00:01:28,297 --> 00:01:32,291
"This blessed plot,
this earth, this realm"...
12
00:01:32,843 --> 00:01:34,379
..."this England."
13
00:01:34,803 --> 00:01:39,218
A land where playing the game is still
more important than winning.
14
00:01:39,725 --> 00:01:42,263
A land where all men are equal...
15
00:01:42,644 --> 00:01:47,435
...irrespective of race, creed or colour.
16
00:01:47,524 --> 00:01:50,358
- You bloody black troublemaker!
- You racialist poof!
17
00:01:50,485 --> 00:01:53,353
You've got the little black feller
round the... round the corner...
18
00:01:53,447 --> 00:01:54,841
Ah, knickers. What're you
talking about?
19
00:02:05,834 --> 00:02:08,998
"Love thy neighbour."
20
00:02:09,504 --> 00:02:12,417
"Walk up and say How be ya?"
21
00:02:13,091 --> 00:02:16,209
"Gee, but I'm glad to
see ya, pal."
22
00:02:16,553 --> 00:02:17,634
"How's tricks?"
23
00:02:18,305 --> 00:02:20,092
"What's new?"
24
00:02:20,641 --> 00:02:23,850
"Love thy neighbour."
25
00:02:24,561 --> 00:02:27,804
"Offer to share his burden."
26
00:02:28,357 --> 00:02:35,355
"Tell him to say the word, and
you'll see him through."
27
00:02:35,822 --> 00:02:39,441
"Especially if there should be"...
28
00:02:39,451 --> 00:02:42,819
..."a beautiful girl next door."
29
00:02:43,372 --> 00:02:47,116
"Say to the girl next door"...
30
00:02:47,459 --> 00:02:55,003
..."Don't think I'm bold, my mother told
me to love my neighbour"...
31
00:02:55,133 --> 00:02:58,843
..."and you will find your labour"...
32
00:02:58,845 --> 00:03:03,431
..."a great deal easier.
Life will be breezier if you"...
33
00:03:03,558 --> 00:03:06,676
..."love thy neighbour."
34
00:03:36,675 --> 00:03:43,343
"Especially if there should be
a beautiful girl next door."
35
00:03:44,224 --> 00:03:47,968
"Say to the girl next door"...
36
00:03:48,687 --> 00:03:50,223
..."Don't think I'm bold"...
37
00:03:50,272 --> 00:03:55,643
..."my mother told me to
love thy neighbour"...
38
00:03:56,111 --> 00:03:59,980
..."and you will find your labour..."
39
00:04:00,031 --> 00:04:04,446
..."a great deal easier,
life will be breezier if"...
40
00:04:06,371 --> 00:04:10,240
..."you love thy neighbour."
41
00:04:14,004 --> 00:04:18,749
"Day is a... day is a... day is a... day-oh..."
42
00:04:19,176 --> 00:04:21,793
- "Daylight come an' I wanna go home."
- Oooh!
43
00:04:23,513 --> 00:04:25,721
Will you belt up?
I've just cut me chin!
44
00:04:26,808 --> 00:04:28,765
Pity you didn't cut
your throat!
45
00:04:30,353 --> 00:04:31,353
"DAY!"
46
00:04:31,646 --> 00:04:36,641
"Is a... day is a... day is a...
DAY-OOH!!
47
00:04:37,402 --> 00:04:39,735
- "Daylight come and I...
- Will you get knotted?!
48
00:04:39,988 --> 00:04:41,775
..."wanna go home."
49
00:04:53,835 --> 00:04:55,167
Bloody Nora!
50
00:04:55,504 --> 00:04:57,040
What's the matter now?
51
00:04:57,088 --> 00:04:59,125
They've given us next door's
newspaper again!
52
00:04:59,424 --> 00:05:01,211
It's all the same news!
53
00:05:01,510 --> 00:05:03,297
How can it be the
same news?
54
00:05:03,512 --> 00:05:06,004
This is a Tory newspaper.
It's biased.
55
00:05:06,473 --> 00:05:08,556
Oh, and your Labour paper isn't,
I suppose!
56
00:05:08,600 --> 00:05:09,600
Of course it is.
57
00:05:11,978 --> 00:05:13,844
But it's biased the
right way.
58
00:05:20,862 --> 00:05:22,524
Oh! Morning, Eddie.
59
00:05:22,656 --> 00:05:24,147
Oh! Hello, love.
60
00:05:24,491 --> 00:05:25,948
Nice, isn't it?
61
00:05:26,201 --> 00:05:28,944
Fantastic. Absolutely fantastic.
62
00:05:29,246 --> 00:05:30,737
Hey, hey, white boy.
63
00:05:30,997 --> 00:05:32,225
What d'you think you're
doing, eh?
64
00:05:32,249 --> 00:05:34,741
Oh, er, well, I, er... I just brought
your newspaper round.
65
00:05:35,085 --> 00:05:38,374
I don't like the way you were
looking at my wife, you know?
66
00:05:38,463 --> 00:05:40,125
Hah, well, you know what
they say?
67
00:05:40,215 --> 00:05:41,501
They can't touch you
for looking.
68
00:05:41,550 --> 00:05:42,916
I can!
69
00:05:43,385 --> 00:05:45,126
Ah, you're too bloody
sensitive, you.
70
00:05:45,428 --> 00:05:46,464
Am I?
71
00:05:46,888 --> 00:05:47,799
Well, look...
72
00:05:47,889 --> 00:05:50,222
...you just ask Joan to put
on a nightdress...
73
00:05:50,267 --> 00:05:52,850
...and come out here, and let me
have a good look at her.
74
00:05:53,061 --> 00:05:54,893
You randy nig nog!
75
00:05:55,272 --> 00:05:57,416
Look, you just keep your lecherous
eyes off my wife - right?
76
00:05:57,440 --> 00:06:00,057
And what am I supposed to do,
walk about with my eyes closed?
77
00:06:00,110 --> 00:06:01,504
- It can be arranged.
- That's it...
78
00:06:01,528 --> 00:06:03,440
...typical of your lot, isn't it,
eh? Violence.
79
00:06:03,530 --> 00:06:05,522
Well, we want no mob rule
in Maple Terrace.
80
00:06:06,241 --> 00:06:07,607
You're a black troublemaker.
81
00:06:07,784 --> 00:06:11,744
Yeah, and you're a... a loud-mouthed,
pale-skinned POOF!
82
00:06:11,872 --> 00:06:12,912
Let me tell you something.
83
00:06:13,039 --> 00:06:14,621
This is a respectable neighbourhood.
84
00:06:14,833 --> 00:06:18,622
We don't like ignorant loud-mouthed
rabble-rousers - understand?
85
00:06:18,670 --> 00:06:19,670
Perfectly!
86
00:06:19,754 --> 00:06:21,290
When are you moving?
87
00:06:21,423 --> 00:06:23,506
Mmm?
88
00:06:24,634 --> 00:06:25,750
Great black ponce!
89
00:06:26,553 --> 00:06:28,215
I'll have his guts for garters!
90
00:06:28,972 --> 00:06:30,304
Great black fairy!
91
00:06:31,141 --> 00:06:32,598
That bloody black twit!
92
00:06:33,184 --> 00:06:34,550
What's up now?
93
00:06:34,644 --> 00:06:38,058
Sambo has just accused ME
of ogling his wife.
94
00:06:38,189 --> 00:06:39,851
Oh... he's caught you, has he?
95
00:06:40,025 --> 00:06:41,185
What do you mean,
"caught me"?
96
00:06:41,526 --> 00:06:44,143
I've got better things to do
than stare at his wife.
97
00:06:44,821 --> 00:06:47,425
Then why is it every time you see her
your eyes nearly fall out your 'ead?
98
00:06:47,449 --> 00:06:49,611
Don't exaggerate! It's him.
99
00:06:50,368 --> 00:06:51,449
He's a troublemaker.
100
00:06:52,245 --> 00:06:55,283
We never had this trouble when
Frank Musgrove lived next door.
101
00:06:55,707 --> 00:06:57,869
He never accused me of
ogling their Nellie!
102
00:06:57,959 --> 00:07:00,417
I should hope not.
She was sixty-four.
103
00:07:00,503 --> 00:07:01,619
Oh..!
104
00:07:04,090 --> 00:07:06,047
I wish you'd try and
cool it with Eddie.
105
00:07:06,468 --> 00:07:08,228
He better don't insult my
father, that's all.
106
00:07:08,303 --> 00:07:10,966
Oh, don't start looking for
trouble before he gets here!
107
00:07:11,848 --> 00:07:12,992
Hmm. Look, you're sure
you don't mind...
108
00:07:13,016 --> 00:07:14,368
...Dad staying with us
on a holiday?
109
00:07:14,392 --> 00:07:15,428
Oh, no big thing.
110
00:07:15,644 --> 00:07:17,010
He can stay as long
as he likes.
111
00:07:17,354 --> 00:07:19,999
You rang the airport to find out what
time his flight's in tomorrow?
112
00:07:20,023 --> 00:07:21,980
Oh, no... I'll do that
later today.
113
00:07:24,611 --> 00:07:25,647
What's so funny?
114
00:07:25,862 --> 00:07:26,943
You know...
115
00:07:26,988 --> 00:07:28,604
...I can't wait to see Eddie's face...
116
00:07:28,615 --> 00:07:31,528
...when he finds out there's another
black man living next door, eh!
117
00:07:33,286 --> 00:07:36,245
I knew it. He's moving the
whole bloody tribe in.
118
00:07:36,790 --> 00:07:38,201
S'only his father.
119
00:07:38,375 --> 00:07:40,458
I don't care who it is.
He's a nig nog.
120
00:07:40,669 --> 00:07:42,911
And I don't want any more
nig-nogs living next door.
121
00:07:43,505 --> 00:07:46,998
He's not gonna live next door. He's
only here for a few weeks' holiday.
122
00:07:47,175 --> 00:07:49,417
Ah... it's the thin end of
the wedge, love.
123
00:07:49,678 --> 00:07:51,795
You mark my words - before
we know where we are...
124
00:07:51,972 --> 00:07:53,132
...we'll be overrun with 'em!
125
00:07:53,807 --> 00:07:56,595
Maple Terrace will become
a suburb of...Trinidad.
126
00:08:02,899 --> 00:08:04,231
- Mornin'.
- Morning.
127
00:08:07,862 --> 00:08:08,862
Give us a light, then.
128
00:08:09,322 --> 00:08:10,322
"Please."
129
00:08:10,782 --> 00:08:11,238
Pardon?
130
00:08:11,491 --> 00:08:13,107
If you want a light,
say "please".
131
00:08:13,284 --> 00:08:14,284
Knickers!
132
00:08:16,788 --> 00:08:18,495
- Got a light, missus?
- No, I don't smoke.
133
00:08:18,540 --> 00:08:19,747
It's a filthy habit.
134
00:08:21,418 --> 00:08:22,698
Give us a light, mate, will yer?
135
00:08:22,794 --> 00:08:23,794
Sorry, I haven't got one.
136
00:08:24,337 --> 00:08:25,577
You've got a pipe in
your mouth!
137
00:08:25,630 --> 00:08:27,496
Ah, it's empty. I've
given it up.
138
00:08:28,133 --> 00:08:30,773
I like to suck me pipe now and
again. It helps when I get the urge.
139
00:08:31,469 --> 00:08:32,869
Well, aren't you gonna
say "please"?
140
00:08:33,221 --> 00:08:34,221
No, I'm bloody not!
141
00:08:34,639 --> 00:08:36,359
Well, you ain't gonna
get a light, you know?
142
00:08:36,599 --> 00:08:37,599
Oh, yes, I am.
143
00:08:37,809 --> 00:08:38,970
I'll get one on the bus.
144
00:08:46,234 --> 00:08:47,520
I'm sorry, mister...
no more.
145
00:08:47,610 --> 00:08:49,213
What d'you mean, "no more"?
You're not full up!
146
00:08:49,237 --> 00:08:52,651
You've got room for fifteen in there,
you bloody great choc-ice!
147
00:08:52,824 --> 00:08:54,031
Watch it!
148
00:08:54,701 --> 00:08:55,782
Morning, Terry.
149
00:08:55,869 --> 00:08:56,985
Mornin', Arthur.
150
00:08:57,037 --> 00:08:59,074
Eee! You look a bit rough.
151
00:08:59,080 --> 00:09:00,912
Rough? He looks bloody awful.
152
00:09:00,957 --> 00:09:02,823
Who was you out with
last night?
153
00:09:03,460 --> 00:09:04,996
- Norma.
- Gee..!
154
00:09:05,170 --> 00:09:07,628
- Lucky devil!
- Always out with a crumpet.
155
00:09:07,756 --> 00:09:08,667
I get my share.
156
00:09:08,715 --> 00:09:10,251
You get everybody else's
share, as well!
157
00:09:10,258 --> 00:09:12,341
'Ere, you got the strength to
press that down?!
158
00:09:12,594 --> 00:09:13,880
Hey, mornin' fellers!
159
00:09:13,928 --> 00:09:15,965
- Ah! Good mornin' Bill.
- Mornin', Bill.
160
00:09:17,390 --> 00:09:18,926
Your Dad settling in
all right?
161
00:09:18,933 --> 00:09:20,515
Oh, no - he doesn't come in
until tomorrow.
162
00:09:20,518 --> 00:09:22,518
Should do him good, coming
over here for a holiday.
163
00:09:22,604 --> 00:09:23,560
Yeah, I hope so.
Mind you...
164
00:09:23,605 --> 00:09:25,458
...I got a feeling there's going to be
nothing but trouble.
165
00:09:25,482 --> 00:09:28,316
Ah, don't worry. You're always
looking on the black side.
166
00:09:28,401 --> 00:09:30,893
Oh - no offence. 'Ere, where's
Eddie got to, then?
167
00:09:31,112 --> 00:09:33,049
My bus was full. He probably
caught the one behind.
168
00:09:33,073 --> 00:09:34,735
Ah, we'll see him later, then.
169
00:09:35,450 --> 00:09:37,282
You are pleased to get
off that platform!
170
00:09:37,452 --> 00:09:38,738
Don't be so bloody touchy!
171
00:09:38,787 --> 00:09:40,904
I am bloody touching you if
you don't get off!
172
00:09:40,914 --> 00:09:42,371
I haven't done anything!
173
00:09:42,457 --> 00:09:43,914
You are calling me rude names.
174
00:09:43,958 --> 00:09:45,995
All I did was call you "Gunga Din".
175
00:09:46,294 --> 00:09:47,660
You've done it again.
Get off!
176
00:09:48,379 --> 00:09:49,961
Look, I'm not getting
off this bus.
177
00:09:50,173 --> 00:09:51,880
Stop behaving like a
hooligan and get off!
178
00:09:51,925 --> 00:09:53,541
You shut your trap,
you old ratbag!
179
00:09:54,135 --> 00:09:55,216
How dare you!
180
00:09:55,428 --> 00:09:57,294
I've never been so
insulted in my life!
181
00:09:57,388 --> 00:09:59,468
Well, that's your fault -
you don't get about enough.
182
00:09:59,516 --> 00:10:01,348
Please, please - we want
no more trouble.
183
00:10:01,392 --> 00:10:02,883
She's the one who's
causing trouble.
184
00:10:02,977 --> 00:10:04,388
They're all the same,
her sort.
185
00:10:04,521 --> 00:10:05,521
Toffee-nosed twit.
186
00:10:05,980 --> 00:10:07,471
Bet she's a housewife,
as well.
187
00:10:07,607 --> 00:10:08,607
And what if I am?
188
00:10:08,858 --> 00:10:10,836
Well, you shouldn't be on this
bus in the first place.
189
00:10:10,860 --> 00:10:11,976
This is for the workers.
190
00:10:12,112 --> 00:10:13,523
All right - get off!
191
00:10:13,613 --> 00:10:15,024
Watch it, Ali Baba!
192
00:10:15,198 --> 00:10:16,814
Again you are insulting me!
193
00:10:16,991 --> 00:10:19,950
Not an inch this bus is moving
unless you are getting off!
194
00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:22,032
That's what you think!
195
00:10:30,255 --> 00:10:31,371
Now you have done it!
196
00:10:32,132 --> 00:10:33,964
The driver is coming
round to have words.
197
00:10:34,092 --> 00:10:37,051
Well, let him come round.
I'll soon bloody sort him out.
198
00:10:37,428 --> 00:10:39,511
'Ullo, 'ullo, 'ullo...
What's the trouble, then?
199
00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:42,757
This passenger is insulting me
and won't get off the bus.
200
00:10:42,851 --> 00:10:43,432
Oh?
201
00:10:43,643 --> 00:10:45,930
Well, that can soon be
settled very amicably.
202
00:10:46,020 --> 00:10:48,478
The gentleman will apologise...
won't you?
203
00:10:48,690 --> 00:10:49,690
Pardon?
204
00:10:49,983 --> 00:10:52,191
You 'eard! Apologise.
205
00:10:52,235 --> 00:10:54,272
Oh, yes, well, I...
206
00:10:54,696 --> 00:10:56,403
- ...I apologise.
- Very good.
207
00:10:56,489 --> 00:10:57,900
So, we're settled.
208
00:10:58,950 --> 00:10:59,986
GET OFF!
209
00:11:10,962 --> 00:11:11,577
Yoo-hoo.
210
00:11:11,796 --> 00:11:13,190
Kettle's on. Coffee
in five minutes?
211
00:11:13,214 --> 00:11:14,671
Okay, I'll be there.
212
00:11:14,757 --> 00:11:15,757
Morning.
213
00:11:16,301 --> 00:11:17,542
- Morning.
- Morning.
214
00:11:17,635 --> 00:11:18,635
Anything for me?
215
00:11:18,845 --> 00:11:19,585
Yes, gorgeous...
216
00:11:19,804 --> 00:11:21,511
...but I'll have to finish
me round first!
217
00:11:21,764 --> 00:11:22,800
Cheeky!
218
00:11:23,099 --> 00:11:25,261
Oh, take no notice of him, Barbie.
219
00:11:25,518 --> 00:11:26,518
He's all talk.
220
00:11:26,769 --> 00:11:28,260
By the time he finishes his round
he won't have...
221
00:11:28,271 --> 00:11:30,558
...the strength to raise
an eyebrow.
222
00:11:30,607 --> 00:11:31,973
I've got hidden reserves.
223
00:11:32,066 --> 00:11:33,477
Yes, well, keep 'em hidden.
224
00:11:34,068 --> 00:11:35,309
Have you got any mail
for me?
225
00:11:35,361 --> 00:11:37,648
Yes, there's a gas account...
final demand.
226
00:11:38,156 --> 00:11:39,341
There's a letter here
from Manchester.
227
00:11:39,365 --> 00:11:41,277
That'll be from, uh, Eddie's
mother...
228
00:11:41,743 --> 00:11:43,804
...and there's a postcard here
from your brother Cyril.
229
00:11:43,828 --> 00:11:45,945
Oh, I wonder how much
he wants to borrow this time.
230
00:11:45,997 --> 00:11:47,329
Oh, only five quid.
231
00:11:48,583 --> 00:11:50,825
I suppose you ladies are going in
for the competition?
232
00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:52,576
"Competition"? What competition?
233
00:11:52,962 --> 00:11:54,328
Well, "Love Thy Neighbour".
234
00:11:54,464 --> 00:11:56,824
- Never heard of it.
- Yeah, it's in this morning's Gazette.
235
00:11:57,217 --> 00:11:57,707
There y'are.
236
00:11:57,800 --> 00:12:00,918
Especially for blackies and whites
who live next door to each other.
237
00:12:05,016 --> 00:12:06,382
"Are you a good neighbour?"
238
00:12:06,684 --> 00:12:09,518
"Win a sunshine cruise in our
'Love Thy Neighbour' competition."
239
00:12:11,481 --> 00:12:13,097
No. I don't think this
is for us, Barbie.
240
00:12:13,233 --> 00:12:15,190
Well, why not? We are
neighbours.
241
00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:16,771
Yeah, but... listen to this.
242
00:12:17,820 --> 00:12:20,608
"Does the difference in your colour
cause friction between you?"
243
00:12:21,699 --> 00:12:23,656
How could we possibly
answer that truthfully?
244
00:12:23,826 --> 00:12:25,988
Easy, Joan - we lie.
245
00:12:52,188 --> 00:12:52,644
What...?
246
00:12:52,730 --> 00:12:53,730
Sod it.
247
00:12:56,150 --> 00:12:57,186
Good morning.
248
00:12:57,860 --> 00:12:58,860
Good morning, sir.
249
00:12:58,945 --> 00:13:00,481
Having a little trouble, hmm?
250
00:13:00,697 --> 00:13:01,983
Er, yes, Mr Granger.
251
00:13:02,115 --> 00:13:03,856
Er... the clock was broken...
252
00:13:03,908 --> 00:13:05,636
...it was slow, and I was
trying to put it right.
253
00:13:05,660 --> 00:13:08,027
And it just... came away
in your hand?
254
00:13:08,079 --> 00:13:09,411
- Er, yes, yes.
- I see.
255
00:13:09,580 --> 00:13:11,492
And there's a perfectly
good reason...
256
00:13:11,582 --> 00:13:14,199
...why you're over
an hour late?
257
00:13:14,919 --> 00:13:17,002
Ah, well, you see, eh...
we've had a bereavement.
258
00:13:17,505 --> 00:13:19,371
- God, not another.
- Pardon?
259
00:13:19,966 --> 00:13:21,548
Up to now, this year...
260
00:13:21,592 --> 00:13:24,050
...you have buried seven
grandfathers...
261
00:13:24,137 --> 00:13:28,677
...five grandmothers, and four other
relations of unknown origin.
262
00:13:29,142 --> 00:13:31,680
Yes, well... ha, ha... we
are a big family.
263
00:13:31,936 --> 00:13:35,429
Well, from now on the only funeral
you'll be allowed time off for...
264
00:13:36,024 --> 00:13:37,024
...is your own.
265
00:13:43,781 --> 00:13:45,818
Speed the day.
266
00:13:48,161 --> 00:13:50,153
'Ello, darlin'!
How are yer?
267
00:13:50,204 --> 00:13:52,742
- All right?
- Yeah. What you doing lunchtime, Terry?
268
00:13:52,832 --> 00:13:54,323
You, if he's got any sense!
269
00:13:55,209 --> 00:13:56,416
Show us your knickers!
270
00:13:56,627 --> 00:13:58,493
- She ain't got any!
- Oh, yes, I have!
271
00:13:58,546 --> 00:13:59,912
They're in my handbag.
272
00:13:59,964 --> 00:14:01,421
Oohh!
273
00:14:02,675 --> 00:14:04,382
Imagine being married to her?
274
00:14:04,385 --> 00:14:06,217
You? You'd be dead
within a week.
275
00:14:06,387 --> 00:14:08,174
Yeah, but what a lovely
way to go.
276
00:14:08,389 --> 00:14:09,630
Oh, excuse me, Eddie.
277
00:14:10,141 --> 00:14:10,881
Oh, yeah, what d'you want?
278
00:14:11,059 --> 00:14:12,391
Your hinge pins are out.
279
00:14:13,227 --> 00:14:14,227
I beg your pardon?
280
00:14:14,270 --> 00:14:15,910
You're not making your
hinge pins to size.
281
00:14:15,980 --> 00:14:16,980
Listen, mate...
282
00:14:17,190 --> 00:14:18,931
...my hinge pins are spot-on.
283
00:14:19,108 --> 00:14:20,849
- They're three thou out.
- Who says so?
284
00:14:20,902 --> 00:14:21,437
I do.
285
00:14:21,569 --> 00:14:22,569
Look, mush...
286
00:14:22,612 --> 00:14:25,776
...I was making hinge pins when you
were still eating missionaries.
287
00:14:26,074 --> 00:14:27,736
They are three thou too big.
288
00:14:27,867 --> 00:14:28,867
They're perfect!
289
00:14:29,285 --> 00:14:30,285
They must be.
290
00:14:30,912 --> 00:14:31,572
I made them.
291
00:14:31,788 --> 00:14:33,588
Well, look, I can't fit them
in my jig, right?
292
00:14:33,623 --> 00:14:35,615
That's 'cause you've got
no bloody idea!
293
00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:38,492
I wish they wouldn't employ
unskilled labour.
294
00:14:47,345 --> 00:14:48,345
Oooh!
295
00:14:48,554 --> 00:14:49,135
Sod it!
296
00:14:49,180 --> 00:14:51,012
You having a bit of
trouble, Bill?
297
00:14:51,307 --> 00:14:53,344
Oh! Er, hullo, Mr Granger, I was...
298
00:14:53,726 --> 00:14:55,308
...just helping Sambo out.
299
00:14:55,686 --> 00:14:58,349
Whoever set this bloody jig made a
right cock-up of it!
300
00:14:59,065 --> 00:15:01,773
I set that jig, Booth, so if
there's something wrong...
301
00:15:01,818 --> 00:15:03,650
...it's your hinge pins.
302
00:15:03,736 --> 00:15:05,130
Oh, yes-yes-yes-yes-yes...
quite right.
303
00:15:05,154 --> 00:15:06,019
Right, Mr Granger...
304
00:15:06,072 --> 00:15:07,688
...I will check my micrometer.
305
00:15:08,658 --> 00:15:10,615
What... the... hell...
306
00:15:10,993 --> 00:15:11,993
...is that?
307
00:15:12,620 --> 00:15:13,620
Chewing gum, sir.
308
00:15:13,913 --> 00:15:15,370
Chewing gum..!
309
00:15:16,958 --> 00:15:19,951
I suppose I should be grateful you
haven't been cracking nuts with it!
310
00:15:20,545 --> 00:15:21,545
Get it...
311
00:15:22,171 --> 00:15:23,171
...get...
312
00:15:23,339 --> 00:15:24,500
Get that cleaned off...
313
00:15:25,883 --> 00:15:28,091
...and measure up your
hinge pins again.
314
00:15:29,011 --> 00:15:30,877
Chewing gum!
315
00:15:31,139 --> 00:15:32,971
Why the bloody 'ell didn't
you tell me, then?!
316
00:15:33,015 --> 00:15:35,428
I thought you honkies
knew everything!
317
00:15:39,439 --> 00:15:40,624
Well, nothing ventured...
318
00:15:40,648 --> 00:15:42,408
...nothing gained!
What's the first question?
319
00:15:42,942 --> 00:15:43,978
It's for you and Eddie.
320
00:15:45,236 --> 00:15:47,944
Did you and your husband
welcome your black neighbours...
321
00:15:47,989 --> 00:15:50,857
...when they moved in?
322
00:15:50,950 --> 00:15:51,950
Yes!
323
00:15:52,118 --> 00:15:53,118
Next question...
324
00:15:53,453 --> 00:15:55,285
Do you share the same
political beliefs?
325
00:15:59,542 --> 00:16:00,077
Yes.
326
00:16:00,460 --> 00:16:01,576
Next question.
327
00:16:02,378 --> 00:16:04,085
Do you share the same
interest in sport?
328
00:16:04,255 --> 00:16:06,212
Come on...
329
00:16:07,008 --> 00:16:08,652
- ...I'm not frightened, y'know.
- Neither am I.
330
00:16:08,676 --> 00:16:09,676
Yes.
331
00:16:10,595 --> 00:16:11,381
Do you know, Joan...
332
00:16:11,471 --> 00:16:14,214
...I never realised our husbands
got on so well together.
333
00:16:14,891 --> 00:16:16,491
Well, is that it?
I think we've finished.
334
00:16:17,727 --> 00:16:18,727
No, just one more.
335
00:16:19,187 --> 00:16:21,144
Final comment by each husband.
336
00:16:21,272 --> 00:16:22,558
What're you gonna
put for Bill?
337
00:16:23,399 --> 00:16:24,640
Ah! How about...
338
00:16:24,817 --> 00:16:26,900
..."Living next door to my
friend, Eddie"...
339
00:16:27,111 --> 00:16:29,353
..."has taught me to appreciate
the white man's culture."
340
00:16:29,447 --> 00:16:31,564
What shall we put down for Eddie?
341
00:16:33,075 --> 00:16:34,441
I've got just the thing.
342
00:16:35,328 --> 00:16:37,411
"I get on so well with
my neighbours"...
343
00:16:37,413 --> 00:16:39,621
..."they'd been living next door
to me for six weeks"...
344
00:16:39,665 --> 00:16:41,281
..."before I noticed they
was black."
345
00:16:41,709 --> 00:16:43,437
Don't you think you're laying it on
a bit thick?
346
00:16:43,461 --> 00:16:45,874
No. If you're going to tell
a lie, tell a whopper!
347
00:16:46,172 --> 00:16:49,210
I can almost feel that Mediterranean
sun on my face already.
348
00:16:49,592 --> 00:16:51,333
Speaking of holidays, can I
use your phone?
349
00:16:51,594 --> 00:16:54,007
I want to check what time Bill's
father arrives tomorrow.
350
00:16:54,430 --> 00:16:56,092
You're not ringing Trinidad,
are you?
351
00:16:56,265 --> 00:16:58,507
Oh, no! Just the airport.
352
00:16:58,976 --> 00:16:59,976
Oh.
353
00:17:00,269 --> 00:17:02,636
- Hello?
- London Airport information.
354
00:17:03,231 --> 00:17:06,190
Could you tell me what time
tomorrow's flight from Trinidad arrives?
355
00:17:06,984 --> 00:17:10,193
Certainly. That will be Flight 702,
due in at twelve noon.
356
00:17:10,530 --> 00:17:11,530
Are you sure?
357
00:17:11,781 --> 00:17:14,194
Positive. There's a flight in
every day at the same time.
358
00:17:15,493 --> 00:17:16,153
As a matter of fact...
359
00:17:16,244 --> 00:17:18,201
...I think today's flight
has just landed.
360
00:17:19,622 --> 00:17:21,204
Hey, Arthur. Where's Eddie?
361
00:17:21,499 --> 00:17:23,286
I'm waiting on my hinge pins, man.
362
00:17:23,334 --> 00:17:26,293
He's in the loading bay having
his usual mid-morning sleep.
363
00:17:27,421 --> 00:17:28,421
Lazy...
364
00:17:54,782 --> 00:17:56,273
Stays...
365
00:17:57,785 --> 00:17:58,785
...blacker...
366
00:18:01,455 --> 00:18:02,455
...longer!
367
00:18:13,301 --> 00:18:14,462
Where is he?
368
00:18:17,054 --> 00:18:18,054
Where's who?
369
00:18:22,018 --> 00:18:23,600
I said, "Where's who?"
370
00:18:23,936 --> 00:18:25,017
My son.
371
00:18:25,271 --> 00:18:26,307
Bill Reynolds.
372
00:18:26,772 --> 00:18:28,058
I'm his father.
373
00:18:28,441 --> 00:18:30,057
Well, you won't find
'im out 'ere!
374
00:18:30,651 --> 00:18:32,017
If 'ee's come to meet yer...
375
00:18:32,069 --> 00:18:33,731
...'ee'd be in the terminal buildin'.
376
00:18:34,697 --> 00:18:35,697
Terminal?
377
00:18:35,740 --> 00:18:36,230
Yeah.
378
00:18:36,365 --> 00:18:37,856
Which..?
How do..?
379
00:18:39,285 --> 00:18:40,285
Back there.
380
00:18:41,078 --> 00:18:42,078
Come on.
381
00:18:59,764 --> 00:19:01,972
Cor blimey - look!
It's Eddie!
382
00:19:02,433 --> 00:19:04,265
Hey, he looks better as
a blackie!
383
00:19:10,066 --> 00:19:11,182
What are you laughing at?
384
00:19:12,526 --> 00:19:14,233
Hey, Granger wants to see yer.
385
00:19:14,487 --> 00:19:16,479
Gahh!
386
00:19:25,748 --> 00:19:26,748
Come in.
387
00:19:30,044 --> 00:19:31,535
You wanted to see me,
Mr Granger?
388
00:19:31,712 --> 00:19:33,544
Ah, yes, Booth, I've been
meaning to...
389
00:19:33,631 --> 00:19:35,167
- Good god!
- Pardon?
390
00:19:36,133 --> 00:19:37,249
I've done these...
391
00:19:39,553 --> 00:19:40,553
What, what's up with you?
392
00:19:40,888 --> 00:19:42,629
Nobody said it was catching!
393
00:19:42,932 --> 00:19:43,932
Eh?!
394
00:19:44,892 --> 00:19:45,928
How's your face, Eddie?
395
00:19:46,644 --> 00:19:47,644
Bloody sore.
396
00:19:47,853 --> 00:19:49,970
- Got all the paint off?
- And half me skin.
397
00:19:50,356 --> 00:19:52,598
If I find who did that,
I'll crown 'im.
398
00:19:56,153 --> 00:19:57,519
Don't look at me, Eddie.
399
00:19:58,114 --> 00:19:59,834
I still think it suited you
being a blackie.
400
00:19:59,990 --> 00:20:01,822
Shut up and eat your sandwiches.
401
00:20:02,785 --> 00:20:03,785
What've you got, Sambo?
402
00:20:04,078 --> 00:20:05,364
Mangoes or yams!
403
00:20:06,497 --> 00:20:07,533
Tinned missionary.
404
00:20:07,665 --> 00:20:10,373
And look, I've told you a million time...
405
00:20:10,418 --> 00:20:11,538
...my name is "Bill", right?
406
00:20:11,752 --> 00:20:13,632
Too touchy, you, you know.
It's only a nickname.
407
00:20:13,838 --> 00:20:16,000
Paddy's a Mick. Charlie's a Scouse.
And you're a Sambo.
408
00:20:16,465 --> 00:20:18,402
It's not your fault you've had
a touch of the tarbrush.
409
00:20:18,426 --> 00:20:20,042
Well, who's fault is it then?
410
00:20:20,261 --> 00:20:21,797
He gets it from his ancestors.
411
00:20:21,971 --> 00:20:23,803
Quite right, Jacko.
It's what they call...
412
00:20:24,056 --> 00:20:25,056
...'eri-detary.
413
00:20:25,349 --> 00:20:26,349
Exactly.
414
00:20:26,809 --> 00:20:29,643
'S'all those centuries spent
under the hot African sun.
415
00:20:29,895 --> 00:20:31,887
See, we... we're more pale,
because we...
416
00:20:31,981 --> 00:20:33,893
...we live in a
more temperate climate.
417
00:20:34,483 --> 00:20:35,483
Holy smoke.
418
00:20:36,444 --> 00:20:38,811
You mean if we stay here long
enough we'll turn white?
419
00:20:39,196 --> 00:20:40,196
Very likely.
420
00:20:40,614 --> 00:20:41,800
Now that you mention it,
you are a bit...
421
00:20:41,824 --> 00:20:43,235
...paler than when you
first came.
422
00:20:43,826 --> 00:20:46,068
What a load of honky crap!
423
00:20:46,537 --> 00:20:48,153
Is it 'ell as like!
424
00:20:48,372 --> 00:20:49,692
Look at little old Winston there.
425
00:20:50,332 --> 00:20:52,164
I mean, he's paler than you...
426
00:20:52,418 --> 00:20:53,858
...but he's browner than
what we are.
427
00:20:54,086 --> 00:20:55,748
That's because he's a Paki!
428
00:20:55,838 --> 00:20:57,670
That just goes to prove my theory.
429
00:20:58,257 --> 00:20:59,464
He's not as black as you...
430
00:20:59,717 --> 00:21:02,557
...because they don't have as much sun
in Pakiland as they do in Africa.
431
00:21:02,887 --> 00:21:04,549
Please... I am from Putney.
432
00:21:05,139 --> 00:21:07,779
Yeah, well, they don't get a lot of
sun in Putney either, do they?!
433
00:21:08,267 --> 00:21:10,509
Y'see... I wouldn't expect you
to comprehend...
434
00:21:10,519 --> 00:21:12,101
...the gist of what I'm
talking about, because...
435
00:21:12,104 --> 00:21:14,024
...you 'aven't got the intelligence
what we have.
436
00:21:14,273 --> 00:21:16,435
We have just as much
intelligence as you.
437
00:21:16,650 --> 00:21:18,516
Have you hell as like!
How could you have?
438
00:21:18,652 --> 00:21:20,644
Blimey, it's not all that
long ago...
439
00:21:20,696 --> 00:21:22,296
...since you lot descended
from the apes.
440
00:21:22,698 --> 00:21:24,985
Look, we ALL descended
from the apes!
441
00:21:25,743 --> 00:21:26,654
Here, look, fellers,
come on...
442
00:21:26,702 --> 00:21:28,382
...come on, let's go and
play some cricket.
443
00:21:30,623 --> 00:21:33,661
Let us ape-men move
away from here.
444
00:21:34,627 --> 00:21:39,713
We don't want to contaminate them
dear, lily-white folks, uh?
445
00:21:42,760 --> 00:21:44,843
I wonder what missionaries
taste like.
446
00:21:45,846 --> 00:21:46,552
Oi!
447
00:21:46,680 --> 00:21:48,171
Look. Here he is.
448
00:21:48,349 --> 00:21:50,386
The only choc-ice I'm
always pleased to see.
449
00:21:53,979 --> 00:21:55,220
Is all that for the
Social Club?
450
00:21:55,272 --> 00:21:56,854
Yeah. Four barrels of bitter...
451
00:21:56,899 --> 00:21:58,390
...twelve crates of Pale Ale.
452
00:21:58,442 --> 00:21:59,899
Ooh, that's all right.
453
00:21:59,944 --> 00:22:01,685
That should see us through
to the mornin'!
454
00:22:03,656 --> 00:22:05,818
Oops! Do you mind?
455
00:22:06,325 --> 00:22:07,611
That only just missed me!
456
00:22:07,827 --> 00:22:09,910
Pity it didn't hit you!
457
00:22:10,454 --> 00:22:11,410
I heard that!
458
00:22:11,455 --> 00:22:12,821
Can we have our ball back?
459
00:22:12,998 --> 00:22:14,409
Yes you can!
460
00:22:16,126 --> 00:22:17,287
Oooww!
461
00:22:17,962 --> 00:22:18,962
Ere!!!
462
00:22:19,255 --> 00:22:20,917
Catched me on the
back of my 'ead!
463
00:22:22,007 --> 00:22:24,044
Oh, come on, Terry!
464
00:22:24,927 --> 00:22:26,714
How about making up a side?
465
00:22:27,137 --> 00:22:28,423
Blacks against whites?
466
00:22:28,514 --> 00:22:29,514
Get out of it.
467
00:22:29,682 --> 00:22:30,889
It's a poof's game, cricket.
468
00:22:31,392 --> 00:22:33,245
Why, are you scared we're going
to beat you, huh?
469
00:22:33,269 --> 00:22:35,602
Beat us?! You couldn't beat us
at anything, mate.
470
00:22:36,063 --> 00:22:37,063
Least of all cricket!
471
00:22:37,314 --> 00:22:38,314
We invented it.
472
00:22:38,482 --> 00:22:39,814
Yeah, but we play it better.
473
00:22:40,943 --> 00:22:41,943
Oh, do you?
474
00:22:42,069 --> 00:22:43,560
We'll soon bloody see that.
475
00:22:46,156 --> 00:22:48,022
C'mon. Hey, Charlie...
476
00:22:48,117 --> 00:22:49,858
- ...sling us one down.
- Right.
477
00:22:52,621 --> 00:22:54,658
Don't be so filthy.
Go on. Get up there.
478
00:22:55,374 --> 00:22:57,957
Allow me the privilege of
bowling whitey out.
479
00:22:59,545 --> 00:23:00,545
Now, come on, Sambo.
480
00:23:00,796 --> 00:23:01,796
Let's be havin' you.
481
00:23:03,591 --> 00:23:07,175
What're you doing?
482
00:23:08,470 --> 00:23:09,927
I just loosening up.
483
00:23:10,306 --> 00:23:12,172
Don't let him intimidate
you, Eddie!
484
00:23:12,349 --> 00:23:14,261
Don't worry.
Doesn't frighten me!
485
00:23:14,852 --> 00:23:16,514
Frightens me, and
I'm not batting!
486
00:23:17,146 --> 00:23:18,146
Yeah.
487
00:23:18,397 --> 00:23:19,397
Get off that!
488
00:23:19,607 --> 00:23:22,315
Bloody hell. Talk about Ali
Baba and the Forty Thieves!
489
00:23:38,876 --> 00:23:40,458
Yeeaaoow!!
490
00:23:41,086 --> 00:23:43,294
Come on!
Howzaaaahht?!!
491
00:23:43,339 --> 00:23:44,580
That's bloody painful!
492
00:23:44,632 --> 00:23:45,839
He's LBW!
493
00:23:45,966 --> 00:23:48,128
That's what they call
"bowling a goolie"!
494
00:23:50,471 --> 00:23:50,881
Hey!
495
00:23:51,472 --> 00:23:52,679
Do you want to retire?
496
00:23:52,848 --> 00:23:54,305
No, I bloody don't!
497
00:23:55,434 --> 00:23:58,393
- Come on - give me that.
- My sandwiches! My curry sandwiches!
498
00:23:59,396 --> 00:24:01,479
Go on... get out of it.
499
00:24:06,028 --> 00:24:08,645
Right, this time, son.
I'll show you...
500
00:24:09,615 --> 00:24:11,197
...last thing I do...
501
00:24:20,167 --> 00:24:21,283
Bloody Nora!
502
00:24:25,172 --> 00:24:25,707
Oooh!
503
00:24:26,090 --> 00:24:27,090
Never!
504
00:24:27,132 --> 00:24:28,748
You've... You've...
505
00:24:29,385 --> 00:24:31,798
Mr Granger, I'm sorry.
It was my fault.
506
00:24:32,471 --> 00:24:33,471
What? You?
507
00:24:33,639 --> 00:24:35,221
Yes, you see I was bowling...
508
00:24:35,265 --> 00:24:36,265
...to Eddie and I...
509
00:24:36,350 --> 00:24:37,807
...misdirected my aim.
510
00:24:37,810 --> 00:24:39,210
I'm sorry - I'll pay for
the damage.
511
00:24:39,853 --> 00:24:40,092
Oh.
512
00:24:40,562 --> 00:24:42,269
Oh, yes? Oh. Will you?
513
00:24:42,314 --> 00:24:44,556
Ha, ha! Well... all right, then.
514
00:24:44,900 --> 00:24:46,766
Be more careful in future,
won't you?
515
00:24:47,027 --> 00:24:48,027
Well...
516
00:24:48,070 --> 00:24:49,402
...come on, clean up this...
517
00:24:49,655 --> 00:24:51,015
...bloomin' glass for me,
will you?
518
00:24:51,156 --> 00:24:52,156
You take a pan with you.
519
00:24:54,326 --> 00:24:55,737
Sir, you've broken...
520
00:24:55,828 --> 00:24:57,911
SHUT UP!
521
00:24:59,498 --> 00:25:01,205
Very good of you to take
the blame, Bill.
522
00:25:01,291 --> 00:25:03,123
- Eddie could've got the chop there.
- Nuh-uh.
523
00:25:03,127 --> 00:25:04,914
I only did that to get my
own back.
524
00:25:05,379 --> 00:25:06,379
What do you mean?
525
00:25:06,964 --> 00:25:09,126
Well, can you imagine how
lousy Eddie feels?
526
00:25:09,466 --> 00:25:11,924
White honky owes little black
me a favour.
527
00:25:12,011 --> 00:25:14,378
He'll actually have to come and
APOLOGISE to a nig nog.
528
00:25:18,559 --> 00:25:19,800
Excuse me...
529
00:25:20,769 --> 00:25:22,226
...I am from Trinidad.
530
00:25:22,312 --> 00:25:24,395
- I just came...
- Ich nicht verstehen.
531
00:25:24,565 --> 00:25:26,477
- Sprechen Sie Deutsch?
- Um.
532
00:25:26,525 --> 00:25:28,357
- Oh, er, I'm, I'm...
- Nein?
533
00:25:28,402 --> 00:25:30,439
- ...sorry.
- Bitte?
534
00:25:32,906 --> 00:25:34,317
Excuse me, sir?
535
00:25:34,658 --> 00:25:36,240
I am from Trinidad.
536
00:25:36,285 --> 00:25:38,242
- I arrived...
- Pardonnez moi, monsieur...
537
00:25:38,287 --> 00:25:40,404
...mais je ne comprends
pas. Er...
538
00:25:40,456 --> 00:25:42,539
- ...parlez vous Francais?
- Oh.
539
00:25:42,583 --> 00:25:44,620
Uh... pardon.
540
00:25:44,668 --> 00:25:46,660
Thank, thank you.
541
00:25:49,965 --> 00:25:51,046
Good day, miss.
542
00:25:51,884 --> 00:25:53,125
I am from Trinidad.
543
00:25:53,177 --> 00:25:54,463
Do you know where...
how I...
544
00:25:54,511 --> 00:25:56,503
- ...can get to that address?
- Ah, no, no, scusa.
545
00:25:59,725 --> 00:26:00,806
No, no - sorry.
546
00:26:01,435 --> 00:26:02,892
Oh, oh... I'm sorry.
547
00:26:02,895 --> 00:26:04,557
Sorry... hmm.
548
00:26:11,195 --> 00:26:12,561
England?!
549
00:26:12,571 --> 00:26:14,174
Look, you've gotta do it, Eddie.
550
00:26:14,198 --> 00:26:16,406
You gotta thank Bill for what
he's done for you!
551
00:26:16,492 --> 00:26:17,403
I wish you'd belt up.
552
00:26:17,493 --> 00:26:19,951
Now look here... he save you
from getting the sack.
553
00:26:20,120 --> 00:26:21,031
Don't you start!
554
00:26:21,080 --> 00:26:23,663
Look, it'll be clocking-off time
if you don't hurry up.
555
00:26:23,707 --> 00:26:25,619
All right. All right.
Here, grab an arm.
556
00:26:25,667 --> 00:26:27,145
- Wh-wh-what're you doing?
- What am I doing..?
557
00:26:27,169 --> 00:26:28,705
Taking the mountains
to Mohammed.
558
00:26:28,879 --> 00:26:30,711
Bill? Bill.
559
00:26:30,881 --> 00:26:33,248
Eddie's got somethin' to say
to you... haven't you, Eddie?
560
00:26:34,176 --> 00:26:35,542
Yes, yes, well, I'm, er...
561
00:26:35,594 --> 00:26:37,631
...Uh...
562
00:26:38,097 --> 00:26:39,713
Yes, Eddie?
563
00:26:40,140 --> 00:26:41,802
Well, er...
564
00:26:41,850 --> 00:26:43,887
...wh-what I wanted to
say was...
565
00:26:47,397 --> 00:26:48,683
...it's time to go home.
566
00:27:00,077 --> 00:27:01,757
Sounds like somebody
knocking on your door.
567
00:27:05,457 --> 00:27:06,457
Are you home?
568
00:27:08,001 --> 00:27:09,287
Anybody there?
569
00:27:11,213 --> 00:27:13,170
Oh, no!
570
00:27:13,507 --> 00:27:15,043
It's Eddie's mother!
571
00:27:15,342 --> 00:27:17,834
- I thought she lived in Manchester?
- She does.
572
00:27:18,137 --> 00:27:19,753
Well, what's she doing
down here?
573
00:27:19,930 --> 00:27:21,842
Going back soon, I 'ope!
574
00:27:26,311 --> 00:27:28,143
Is there anybody there?
575
00:27:29,273 --> 00:27:31,014
- Hello.
- Oh, there you are!
576
00:27:31,275 --> 00:27:33,187
I were beginning to wonder
if you'd moved!
577
00:27:33,360 --> 00:27:35,477
I was just having a cup of
coffee with Barbie.
578
00:27:35,904 --> 00:27:37,065
This is Barbie.
579
00:27:37,322 --> 00:27:39,154
- Eddie's mother.
- Hello.
580
00:27:39,283 --> 00:27:42,401
Does your 'usband know you
walk about like that?
581
00:27:43,453 --> 00:27:45,365
They're very fashionable
in London.
582
00:27:45,622 --> 00:27:48,035
Oh. Well, I hope you don't
start wearing them...
583
00:27:48,083 --> 00:27:50,120
...with a backside like what
you've got.
584
00:27:50,794 --> 00:27:52,160
Well, are you going
to ask me in?
585
00:27:52,254 --> 00:27:56,089
Or have I come two hundred miles
just to stand on the doorstep?
586
00:27:56,508 --> 00:27:57,589
I think I'd better go.
587
00:27:57,634 --> 00:27:59,671
- See you.
- See you later, Barbie.
588
00:28:02,264 --> 00:28:04,381
- I'll let you bring me case in.
- Thanks.
589
00:28:04,850 --> 00:28:07,183
And if I were you, I'd change
me window cleaner.
590
00:28:07,477 --> 00:28:09,218
He's not doing your corners.
591
00:28:25,287 --> 00:28:28,746
- Well... this is a surprise.
- Surprise?
592
00:28:28,916 --> 00:28:30,498
Well, did you not
get me letter?
593
00:28:30,876 --> 00:28:33,038
- Mmm, came this morning.
- Well?
594
00:28:33,629 --> 00:28:35,148
Oh, I'm afraid I hadn't
opened that yet.
595
00:28:35,172 --> 00:28:37,209
Well, that was a waste
of a stamp.
596
00:28:38,217 --> 00:28:39,674
How long will you be staying?
597
00:28:39,885 --> 00:28:41,751
Look, give me a chance to
get me coat off.
598
00:28:42,304 --> 00:28:44,512
Only wondered how long
you were gonna be here.
599
00:28:44,973 --> 00:28:45,973
All right...
600
00:28:46,225 --> 00:28:47,557
...I know when I'm not wanted.
601
00:28:47,601 --> 00:28:49,342
I didn't say
you weren't wanted.
602
00:28:49,394 --> 00:28:52,637
Coming to something if you can't
come and visit your own son!
603
00:28:54,483 --> 00:28:55,724
I'll put the kettle on.
604
00:29:07,120 --> 00:29:10,033
Our Edna never asks me
how long I'm staying.
605
00:29:10,290 --> 00:29:12,247
But then, she's from the north.
606
00:29:12,793 --> 00:29:14,500
They're more hospitable
up there.
607
00:29:15,128 --> 00:29:16,648
Surprised you could
drag yourself away.
608
00:29:16,672 --> 00:29:18,709
- I beg your pardon.
- Nothing.
609
00:29:19,967 --> 00:29:23,756
I wouldn't be troubling you at all if...
Eddie's father was still with us.
610
00:29:24,054 --> 00:29:25,295
Poor man.
611
00:29:25,472 --> 00:29:27,384
How've you been keeping?
612
00:29:27,975 --> 00:29:29,182
Oh, mustn't grumble.
613
00:29:29,309 --> 00:29:31,801
Still got me cough, of course.
614
00:29:32,104 --> 00:29:33,561
I can hear it.
615
00:29:34,106 --> 00:29:35,938
But how is my Eddie?
616
00:29:36,191 --> 00:29:37,898
He's all right. Be home
from work soon.
617
00:29:37,943 --> 00:29:40,151
You've got a good one
there in Eddie.
618
00:29:40,654 --> 00:29:42,646
At least he does come
home on time.
619
00:29:43,115 --> 00:29:46,404
Not like his father. Straight out of
work and into the boozer.
620
00:29:47,995 --> 00:29:50,328
- Forty-five pee, please.
- Put it on my slate, Cyril.
621
00:29:50,706 --> 00:29:51,571
- Cheers.
- God bless.
622
00:29:51,665 --> 00:29:53,327
- Cheers.
- Good 'health.
623
00:29:53,417 --> 00:29:54,749
Ahh.
624
00:29:54,960 --> 00:29:56,952
- You are gonna thank Bil?
- Course I am.
625
00:29:57,379 --> 00:29:59,211
Are you?
Well, now's your chance.
626
00:29:59,298 --> 00:30:01,585
Bill - Eddie wants to
talk to you.
627
00:30:01,967 --> 00:30:03,879
Well, go on.
Go on.
628
00:30:03,969 --> 00:30:05,835
Yes, well... about lunchtime.
629
00:30:06,138 --> 00:30:08,050
- Yes, Eddie?
- Well, you see...
630
00:30:08,098 --> 00:30:09,054
W-w-what I meant was...
631
00:30:09,057 --> 00:30:10,952
- ...I, I felt I was I was a bit...
- He wants to thank you...
632
00:30:10,976 --> 00:30:12,787
- ...for taking the blame.
- That's it, that's it.
633
00:30:12,811 --> 00:30:14,598
I'd like to hear you
say it yourself, Eddie.
634
00:30:14,688 --> 00:30:16,896
- Pardon?
- Oh, gosh, man.
635
00:30:17,065 --> 00:30:19,182
Thank me, Eddie.
636
00:30:19,401 --> 00:30:20,878
Thank you for taking the blame.
637
00:30:20,902 --> 00:30:23,622
Hey, did you say something? I didn't
hear that too clearly, you know?
638
00:30:23,947 --> 00:30:25,688
Thanks for taking the blame.
639
00:30:25,866 --> 00:30:28,609
I still didn't hear that, man.
Say it a little... louder.
640
00:30:28,660 --> 00:30:30,430
Thank you for taking the bloody blame!
641
00:30:30,454 --> 00:30:32,411
- Satisfied?!
- Yes, man!
642
00:30:32,414 --> 00:30:34,121
You black ruffian!
643
00:30:34,166 --> 00:30:36,283
- That's a pint you owe me.
- Oh, sorry.
644
00:30:38,545 --> 00:30:40,537
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
645
00:30:40,630 --> 00:30:42,462
- You cheeky black!
- Well...
646
00:30:42,591 --> 00:30:45,425
Hey, you got your ticket
reserved for tonight, Bill?
647
00:30:45,594 --> 00:30:47,506
Yeah, what's going on
here tonight, huh?
648
00:30:47,596 --> 00:30:49,556
It's not what's going on -
it's what's coming off.
649
00:30:49,723 --> 00:30:51,214
Tessa, the tassel dancer.
650
00:30:51,391 --> 00:30:52,882
The postman's friend.
651
00:30:52,934 --> 00:30:56,678
We all like the size of her knockers.
652
00:30:56,855 --> 00:30:58,708
- She swings 'em in opposite directions.
- Yeah!
653
00:30:58,732 --> 00:31:00,772
And he's not only talkin' about
the tassels, either!
654
00:31:01,068 --> 00:31:02,809
- Oi, oi!
- She sounds like a raver!
655
00:31:02,861 --> 00:31:04,193
She's fantastic.
656
00:31:04,321 --> 00:31:05,715
When she was at the
British Legion...
657
00:31:05,739 --> 00:31:07,842
...she swung 'em so hard that
one of the tassels flew off.
658
00:31:07,866 --> 00:31:09,653
Hey, that must've
went down well, eh?
659
00:31:09,701 --> 00:31:11,317
It was like a bomb!
660
00:31:11,453 --> 00:31:12,910
She got a standing ovation...
661
00:31:12,954 --> 00:31:15,037
...the pianist got a
dislocated neck...
662
00:31:15,165 --> 00:31:17,122
...and the concert secretary
got three months.
663
00:31:17,751 --> 00:31:19,208
Are you coming, then, Bill?
664
00:31:19,252 --> 00:31:21,272
I would like to but I don't think Barbie
would be pleased.
665
00:31:21,296 --> 00:31:23,274
Well, you don't have to tell her
we've got a stripper.
666
00:31:23,298 --> 00:31:25,961
Tell her a white lie... or in your
case, a black one.
667
00:31:26,343 --> 00:31:28,529
Which one of the black lies you
were thinking about, Eddie?
668
00:31:28,553 --> 00:31:29,906
Tell her the one I'm
going to tell Joan.
669
00:31:29,930 --> 00:31:31,866
Tell her you... you're going to
an emergency meeting...
670
00:31:31,890 --> 00:31:33,330
...of the union executive committee.
671
00:31:33,433 --> 00:31:35,095
But I'm not on the
executive committee.
672
00:31:35,143 --> 00:31:38,432
I hereby propose that brother Bill be
co-opted to the committee meeting.
673
00:31:38,688 --> 00:31:40,224
I'll second that, brother Eddie.
674
00:31:40,440 --> 00:31:41,772
All those in favour.
675
00:31:41,900 --> 00:31:43,857
- 'Ere, 'ere.
- Aye, aye.
676
00:31:43,902 --> 00:31:45,814
Carried unanimously.
677
00:31:46,405 --> 00:31:47,405
Okay?
678
00:31:47,864 --> 00:31:49,321
Oh, there you are, Mr Reynolds.
679
00:31:49,533 --> 00:31:51,525
Now, if your son is in the
terminal building...
680
00:31:51,576 --> 00:31:53,693
...I'm sure we'll find him
for you, okay?
681
00:31:54,246 --> 00:31:56,329
Thank you.
682
00:31:57,457 --> 00:31:58,993
London Airport Information.
683
00:32:02,129 --> 00:32:03,995
Er, did you did you salt
these potatoes, Joan?
684
00:32:04,131 --> 00:32:07,670
No. We like to put our own salt on
when it's on the plate.
685
00:32:07,843 --> 00:32:10,756
- Well, what's for pudding?
- There is no pudding.
686
00:32:10,971 --> 00:32:12,837
No pudding?!
687
00:32:13,056 --> 00:32:15,924
But you can't expect a great
big strong chap like Eddie...
688
00:32:16,017 --> 00:32:19,727
...to come home after a hard day's
work and find there's no pudding!
689
00:32:20,063 --> 00:32:22,521
He gets all the protein and
calories he needs.
690
00:32:22,732 --> 00:32:24,519
Yes, well, we don't
have them.
691
00:32:24,651 --> 00:32:27,018
Up north, we have proper food.
692
00:32:27,487 --> 00:32:29,729
The food of the north
is like its people...
693
00:32:29,906 --> 00:32:31,989
...straightforward and
honest.
694
00:32:32,784 --> 00:32:33,865
And fattening.
695
00:32:36,705 --> 00:32:38,071
Uh... Bill.
696
00:32:38,331 --> 00:32:41,039
Now, don't forget - it's a union
meeting tonight, right?
697
00:32:41,126 --> 00:32:42,537
I'll be there.
698
00:32:46,173 --> 00:32:47,334
Ah.
699
00:32:54,556 --> 00:32:55,592
I'm home, Joan.
700
00:32:57,851 --> 00:32:59,387
I want a word with you.
701
00:32:59,436 --> 00:33:01,497
- I've only had one pint, love.
- Your mother's here.
702
00:33:01,521 --> 00:33:03,353
Oh, no! What the 'ell
does she want?
703
00:33:03,398 --> 00:33:06,186
- Hello, son!
- Hello, mum.
704
00:33:06,234 --> 00:33:08,317
- Nice to see you.
- Mmm.
705
00:33:08,445 --> 00:33:10,107
Let me have a good
look at yer.
706
00:33:10,238 --> 00:33:11,445
Oh, dear!
707
00:33:11,823 --> 00:33:13,735
- You've lost weight.
- He looks better for it.
708
00:33:13,825 --> 00:33:15,316
He looks underfed to me.
709
00:33:15,368 --> 00:33:17,405
Now, now girls. No fighting
over me.
710
00:33:17,787 --> 00:33:18,787
What's for tea, love?
711
00:33:18,955 --> 00:33:20,617
Lamb chops, boiled potatoes
and peas.
712
00:33:20,665 --> 00:33:22,452
But there's no pudding.
713
00:33:22,709 --> 00:33:25,326
- Can I have a word with you?
- Stay where you are.
714
00:33:25,670 --> 00:33:28,413
If you two want to talk about
me behind me back...
715
00:33:28,798 --> 00:33:30,164
...I'll go in the kitchen.
716
00:33:33,178 --> 00:33:35,761
- It's no good. She's gotta go.
- She's only just come!
717
00:33:35,889 --> 00:33:36,595
I don't care.
718
00:33:36,890 --> 00:33:38,677
She's already started
poking her nose in.
719
00:33:38,767 --> 00:33:40,303
She doesn't mean any
harm, love.
720
00:33:40,435 --> 00:33:42,677
If she starts interfering,
out she goes.
721
00:33:42,729 --> 00:33:45,767
Joan, don't worry.
She won't interfere.
722
00:33:45,857 --> 00:33:48,190
Oi! The chops are done.
723
00:33:48,610 --> 00:33:51,102
I've strained the peas
and salted the potatoes.
724
00:33:53,073 --> 00:33:54,280
Did you hear me?
725
00:33:56,535 --> 00:33:59,619
This, er, committee meeting
is very sudden, isn't it?
726
00:33:59,663 --> 00:34:01,746
Oh yes, yes, it's, er...
an emergency.
727
00:34:02,123 --> 00:34:03,830
Come in.
728
00:34:05,919 --> 00:34:07,911
Hello, Billy. Ready for
the big night?
729
00:34:08,046 --> 00:34:10,333
Hey, what do you think of the gear?
730
00:34:10,549 --> 00:34:11,549
You got a bad chest?
731
00:34:13,134 --> 00:34:14,134
Ooh! Oh!
732
00:34:14,636 --> 00:34:16,252
Hello, love. Er... never saw
you there.
733
00:34:16,388 --> 00:34:17,504
You're in a happy mood.
734
00:34:17,556 --> 00:34:19,639
Well, you know Eddie -
always happy.
735
00:34:19,683 --> 00:34:22,096
You ARE going to a
union meeting?
736
00:34:22,185 --> 00:34:24,427
Of course we are.
Aren't we, Billy?
737
00:34:24,521 --> 00:34:25,762
Absolutely.
738
00:34:26,147 --> 00:34:29,356
You know, Barbie, these union
meetings are very hard work.
739
00:34:29,401 --> 00:34:32,189
In fact, I doubt that Bill and
me will have time for a drink.
740
00:34:32,445 --> 00:34:34,277
- That right, Bill?
- Right on.
741
00:34:34,573 --> 00:34:37,190
Now then, gentlemen, as Chairman
of the Social Committee...
742
00:34:37,242 --> 00:34:39,279
Bring on the stripper.
743
00:34:39,369 --> 00:34:41,406
All in good time, Eddie.
All in good time.
744
00:34:41,496 --> 00:34:44,239
Now, you're shouting at me
while I'm working. That's not fair...
745
00:34:44,416 --> 00:34:45,851
...'cause when you're working
I don't dash up...
746
00:34:45,875 --> 00:34:47,311
...and snatch the broom
out of your hand!
747
00:34:49,254 --> 00:34:51,496
Now, then, as Chairman of the
Social Committee...
748
00:34:51,548 --> 00:34:53,835
...I've one or two things to say
about our last function.
749
00:34:54,718 --> 00:34:56,209
This brassererie 'ere...
750
00:34:58,763 --> 00:35:01,506
...that was found on the car park
after the last dance.
751
00:35:03,101 --> 00:35:05,184
It's a size thirty-eight
with a "B" cup...
752
00:35:05,228 --> 00:35:08,562
...and inside it's got the
inscription "Kilroy was here".
753
00:35:10,734 --> 00:35:14,273
Now, if any of you gentlemen know
the young lady this belongs to...
754
00:35:14,654 --> 00:35:16,549
...if you would like to bring her
along to the committee room...
755
00:35:16,573 --> 00:35:18,405
...I will personally put it
back on her.
756
00:35:18,450 --> 00:35:20,737
Come on Arthur, bring
on the stripper!
757
00:35:21,036 --> 00:35:23,870
All right. All in good
time. All in good time.
758
00:35:24,122 --> 00:35:27,286
One other thing I want to tell
you about is the gents' urinals.
759
00:35:27,792 --> 00:35:30,375
Now, I can't keep having
these walls whitewashed.
760
00:35:30,503 --> 00:35:33,667
Well, blackwash 'em, them!
761
00:35:33,882 --> 00:35:36,124
That's very funny
coming from you, Bill.
762
00:35:36,301 --> 00:35:37,166
Now, if you don't keep quiet...
763
00:35:37,218 --> 00:35:39,655
...I'll have all your photographs
taken off the marmalade jars.
764
00:35:39,679 --> 00:35:41,762
All right...
765
00:35:42,223 --> 00:35:43,839
We all like a bit of wit.
766
00:35:44,142 --> 00:35:47,385
But the graffiti is downright
pornographic.
767
00:35:47,437 --> 00:35:49,349
And the gentleman,
or gentlemen...
768
00:35:49,439 --> 00:35:51,852
...that wrote the verse of the
Young Man from Nantucket...
769
00:35:52,233 --> 00:35:54,896
...I would like to point out
that the last line...
770
00:35:54,986 --> 00:35:58,570
...is not only grammatically incorrect,
but a physical impossibility.
771
00:35:58,615 --> 00:36:00,072
Hey, Arthur.
772
00:36:00,241 --> 00:36:01,732
Either strip off or get off!
773
00:36:01,910 --> 00:36:04,243
I am not stripping off. You've not
come to see me tonight.
774
00:36:04,287 --> 00:36:06,324
I know I'm small, but I'm
very well marked.
775
00:36:06,956 --> 00:36:08,117
But now, for our turn.
776
00:36:08,166 --> 00:36:10,203
Unfortunately Tessa can't appear.
777
00:36:13,797 --> 00:36:15,129
I know, I know!
778
00:36:16,508 --> 00:36:17,999
'Tis a shame, I know.
779
00:36:18,218 --> 00:36:19,083
But, there you are.
780
00:36:19,135 --> 00:36:22,378
But, at enormous expense, I've
engaged an even bigger star.
781
00:36:22,472 --> 00:36:26,512
A young lady direct from a recent
success at the Wheeltappers' Institute...
782
00:36:26,726 --> 00:36:28,718
...where she always
wins the booby prize.
783
00:36:28,770 --> 00:36:31,137
So let's give her a nice big hand...
784
00:36:31,231 --> 00:36:33,000
...and make her feel at home.
And here she is...
785
00:36:33,024 --> 00:36:36,233
...Swinging Susie, the Girl
with the Syncopated Bristols!
786
00:36:42,951 --> 00:36:45,694
Bloody Nora...
another nig nog!
787
00:37:09,894 --> 00:37:11,180
Excuse me, sir.
788
00:37:11,354 --> 00:37:13,596
I want to go to my
son's house.
789
00:37:15,066 --> 00:37:15,931
Got any money?
790
00:37:15,984 --> 00:37:18,317
- Oh, yes, yes.
- Where you going to?
791
00:37:18,611 --> 00:37:20,523
It is in Twicken-ham.
792
00:37:20,864 --> 00:37:23,857
- Got the address.
- Real money - English money?
793
00:37:24,242 --> 00:37:26,074
Oh, certainly.
794
00:37:29,831 --> 00:37:31,242
- Look.
- What you got there?
795
00:37:31,291 --> 00:37:33,328
- Erm, twenty pounds.
- That'll do.
796
00:37:33,418 --> 00:37:34,954
- I beg your pardon.
- Come on...
797
00:37:35,003 --> 00:37:37,290
- ...give us the money.
- What? All of it?
798
00:37:37,422 --> 00:37:37,832
Look, mate...
799
00:37:37,881 --> 00:37:40,874
...if you wanna go to Twickenham
it's gonna cost you twenty quid.
800
00:37:41,301 --> 00:37:42,883
Now, please yerself.
801
00:37:50,810 --> 00:37:52,847
Does it pass the finger test?
802
00:37:54,564 --> 00:37:56,647
Who's this from then?
803
00:37:57,942 --> 00:38:00,650
"Love, Cyril." Cyril?!
804
00:38:01,321 --> 00:38:04,064
- That must be a man.
- It's me brother.
805
00:38:04,574 --> 00:38:06,156
Hmmmm.
806
00:38:07,160 --> 00:38:08,822
He was at our wedding,
you remember?
807
00:38:09,662 --> 00:38:12,700
Cyril..? Oh, yes, I do
remember him.
808
00:38:13,249 --> 00:38:16,492
Yes, he was the one that was... well,
he made a disgusting remark...
809
00:38:16,753 --> 00:38:18,415
...to your Auntie Gertrude.
810
00:38:18,922 --> 00:38:21,505
What's he doing in Tangiers,
then? White slaving?
811
00:38:21,591 --> 00:38:22,707
Working in a bar.
812
00:38:22,842 --> 00:38:25,300
I thought you said he was
a steward on board ship.
813
00:38:25,553 --> 00:38:28,967
- He felt like a change
- Still putting it about, is he?
814
00:38:29,307 --> 00:38:31,076
- I don't know what you mean.
- Yes, of course you do.
815
00:38:31,100 --> 00:38:33,592
Why, at your wedding he was like a
cocker spaniel on heat.
816
00:38:34,103 --> 00:38:35,639
He tried it on
with the bridesmaids...
817
00:38:35,688 --> 00:38:39,181
...two of the waitresses,
AND the best man's wife.
818
00:38:46,407 --> 00:38:48,649
Get your coat on Joan, we're
going to the Social Club.
819
00:38:48,701 --> 00:38:51,409
- Club, what for?
- To catch Bill and Eddie at it.
820
00:38:51,579 --> 00:38:53,179
But they've only gone to a
union meeting.
821
00:38:53,248 --> 00:38:55,331
Yes, and I know what's
on the agenda.
822
00:39:20,984 --> 00:39:22,395
Take 'em off!
823
00:39:27,907 --> 00:39:29,273
Take 'em off!
824
00:39:43,089 --> 00:39:44,705
Come on!
825
00:39:49,637 --> 00:39:52,050
Uh... hello, Joan.
826
00:40:10,283 --> 00:40:12,320
I say... er, they're out.
827
00:40:13,411 --> 00:40:14,411
Oh!
828
00:40:14,495 --> 00:40:16,487
Uh... oh..!
829
00:40:16,873 --> 00:40:18,559
- Er, when will they be back?
- I don't know.
830
00:40:18,583 --> 00:40:20,620
They don't tell me anything.
831
00:40:21,586 --> 00:40:23,953
I guess I'd better
stay here and rest.
832
00:40:24,047 --> 00:40:27,165
- Have you come from far?
- Trinidad.
833
00:40:28,009 --> 00:40:29,250
Trinidad!
834
00:40:29,886 --> 00:40:33,470
You must be dying for a
cup of tea! Come inside.
835
00:40:37,018 --> 00:40:39,601
There we are, girls.
Two large gins.
836
00:40:40,438 --> 00:40:41,849
Cheers, Barbie.
837
00:40:42,148 --> 00:40:43,148
Cheers.
838
00:40:43,399 --> 00:40:45,391
Would you like a packet
of crisps?
839
00:40:47,070 --> 00:40:48,277
How about a meat pie?
840
00:40:51,866 --> 00:40:53,653
Oh, Joan..!
841
00:40:54,702 --> 00:40:56,193
"Committee meeting."
842
00:40:56,454 --> 00:40:58,662
Well, I... it's true - I got the
dates mixed up.
843
00:40:58,748 --> 00:41:00,455
- Liar.
- It's true.
844
00:41:00,541 --> 00:41:01,541
Liar.
845
00:41:01,584 --> 00:41:03,291
I'm surprised at you,
Bill Reynolds.
846
00:41:03,336 --> 00:41:04,918
Sneaking out to see a stripper.
847
00:41:04,963 --> 00:41:06,454
Oh, sugar, I'm sorry.
848
00:41:06,506 --> 00:41:10,045
And a black girl, at that. It wouldn't
have been so bad if she was white.
849
00:41:10,385 --> 00:41:12,237
Well, I don't know what you're
getting upset about.
850
00:41:12,261 --> 00:41:15,095
I mean, it's nothing new to you
to see a coloured pair of knockers.
851
00:41:15,390 --> 00:41:18,007
What's that again, Eddie?
- Well, it's true.
852
00:41:18,559 --> 00:41:20,676
You blacks are always
flashing it about.
853
00:41:20,937 --> 00:41:23,304
- Flashing what about?
- Everything you've got.
854
00:41:23,648 --> 00:41:24,959
It's a well-known fact that
you're always...
855
00:41:24,983 --> 00:41:26,703
...running round the jungle
in the starkers.
856
00:41:26,734 --> 00:41:28,646
Bill and Barbie don't come
from the jungle.
857
00:41:28,695 --> 00:41:32,188
I know that. But they're...
it's in their blood.
858
00:41:32,281 --> 00:41:33,281
They're primitive.
859
00:41:33,741 --> 00:41:34,948
No more primitive than
you are.
860
00:41:35,076 --> 00:41:37,033
But you must be.
You're black.
861
00:41:37,662 --> 00:41:40,279
And, of course, as we know,
black is inferior to white, huh?
862
00:41:40,540 --> 00:41:42,247
Quite right. I'm glad you
agree with me.
863
00:41:42,333 --> 00:41:43,949
Load of rubbish.
864
00:41:44,085 --> 00:41:46,668
- Do stop arguing, you two.
- We are not arguing.
865
00:41:46,879 --> 00:41:47,744
We're discussing.
866
00:41:47,797 --> 00:41:49,477
Well, you might be
discussing. I'm arguing.
867
00:41:49,507 --> 00:41:52,500
Oh, stop getting the needle,
for God's sake, Sambo.
868
00:41:53,177 --> 00:41:54,377
I tell you, my name is "Bill".
869
00:41:54,512 --> 00:41:56,424
Oh, stop it, you two!
870
00:41:56,973 --> 00:41:58,509
Let's have a drink.
871
00:41:58,599 --> 00:42:01,057
- Cheers, Barbie.
- Cheers, Joan.
872
00:42:01,686 --> 00:42:06,306
Cheers, Sambo.
873
00:42:10,737 --> 00:42:12,854
Cheers... honky.
874
00:42:17,952 --> 00:42:20,786
- We're only what life has made us.
- Yes...
875
00:42:20,955 --> 00:42:22,867
...and too old to change...
876
00:42:22,957 --> 00:42:24,448
...even if we wanted.
877
00:42:24,542 --> 00:42:26,249
I wonder if my son's
home yet.
878
00:42:26,294 --> 00:42:29,378
No, sit down. We'll hear them
when they come back.
879
00:42:29,672 --> 00:42:30,708
Hmm.
880
00:42:32,091 --> 00:42:34,834
It's funny, though, that he
never came to meet you.
881
00:42:34,886 --> 00:42:37,845
After all, he must've known
what day you were coming.
882
00:42:38,723 --> 00:42:40,555
Oh, well, I did write to him.
883
00:42:41,392 --> 00:42:43,759
I guess I must have put
the wrong date.
884
00:42:46,230 --> 00:42:48,187
- Um.
- What's wrong now?
885
00:42:48,399 --> 00:42:50,015
- Well, I'm...
- You keep bobbing up and down...
886
00:42:50,026 --> 00:42:52,313
- ...like a yo yo!
- I know, but could I...
887
00:42:52,361 --> 00:42:54,819
...I was wondering...
You see, I...
888
00:42:55,490 --> 00:42:57,277
Oh..!
889
00:42:57,700 --> 00:42:59,692
Of course! Yes.
890
00:43:00,036 --> 00:43:01,402
Upstairs, love.
891
00:43:01,704 --> 00:43:03,161
Second on the left.
892
00:43:04,373 --> 00:43:05,739
- Er...
- Hm?
893
00:43:05,833 --> 00:43:07,870
...pull twice to flush it.
894
00:43:08,169 --> 00:43:09,169
Hmm?
895
00:43:09,921 --> 00:43:12,129
Oh, don't you have that...
you know, that...
896
00:43:12,423 --> 00:43:14,289
...thing in, er, Trinidad?
897
00:43:14,509 --> 00:43:15,509
Oh, no...
898
00:43:15,593 --> 00:43:16,879
...no, we, er...
899
00:43:17,011 --> 00:43:18,877
You know, in some countries...
900
00:43:19,055 --> 00:43:21,297
...in some countries, they've
only got sand.
901
00:43:21,808 --> 00:43:23,515
You bloody black troublemaker.
902
00:43:23,559 --> 00:43:24,970
You racialist poof.
903
00:43:25,061 --> 00:43:26,723
Oh, get back to the jungle.
904
00:43:26,771 --> 00:43:28,763
Eddie, I wish you'd
keep your voice down.
905
00:43:28,856 --> 00:43:30,222
You'll have the whole
street out.
906
00:43:30,233 --> 00:43:32,475
It's not me,
it's King Kong here.
907
00:43:32,485 --> 00:43:33,962
You call me "King Kong"
again and I'll...
908
00:43:33,986 --> 00:43:35,648
King Kong!
909
00:43:35,696 --> 00:43:36,799
- Oh, no, you don't!
- Look...
910
00:43:36,823 --> 00:43:39,156
I'm not having you fighting
in the street. Come on!
911
00:43:39,283 --> 00:43:41,149
- No!
- Oh, come on!
912
00:43:44,997 --> 00:43:47,080
- See you later, Joan.
- Oh, no, you won't.
913
00:43:47,625 --> 00:43:48,411
As from now...
914
00:43:48,543 --> 00:43:50,284
...this house is out of bounds
to nig nogs.
915
00:43:50,837 --> 00:43:52,874
And this is out of bounds
to white honkies.
916
00:43:53,047 --> 00:43:54,458
Oh, knickers!
917
00:43:54,549 --> 00:43:55,790
Cobblers!
918
00:43:56,509 --> 00:43:58,070
Why is it we can never go
out for the evening...
919
00:43:58,094 --> 00:43:59,196
- ...without having a row?
- Oh, shut up, woman.
920
00:43:59,220 --> 00:44:00,220
I beg your pardon?
921
00:44:00,304 --> 00:44:02,546
- Nothin', go on, get in, shut up.
- Each time we go out.
922
00:44:02,723 --> 00:44:04,203
Ah, belt up, woman!
923
00:44:05,351 --> 00:44:06,620
Always rabbiting.
924
00:44:06,644 --> 00:44:07,996
Every time you go out
with that man...
925
00:44:08,020 --> 00:44:09,456
- ...you gotta have a row with him.
- Ooh, there you are!
926
00:44:09,480 --> 00:44:11,312
- Have you had a good time?
- Oh, yeah...
927
00:44:11,357 --> 00:44:12,017
...laugh a minute.
928
00:44:12,066 --> 00:44:12,681
Get out of the way...
929
00:44:12,733 --> 00:44:14,253
- ...while I hang me coat up.
- Don't start again!
930
00:44:14,277 --> 00:44:16,269
Joan, I've told you once
and I'll tell you again.
931
00:44:16,362 --> 00:44:18,570
I want no more
nig nogs in this house.
932
00:44:19,532 --> 00:44:20,801
Hello.
933
00:44:20,825 --> 00:44:22,407
Our toilet's just flushed itself.
934
00:44:22,535 --> 00:44:23,535
Oh, well, er...
935
00:44:23,619 --> 00:44:25,139
- Here, take him this.
- Hello, Ma. Give us a kiss.
936
00:44:25,163 --> 00:44:26,324
Oh, Eddie!
937
00:44:26,330 --> 00:44:27,946
Eee, you're just like your father.
938
00:44:27,999 --> 00:44:29,865
You stink of beer!
939
00:44:29,959 --> 00:44:32,604
Well, so would you be if you'd had a
pint of bitter poured over your 'ead.
940
00:44:32,628 --> 00:44:33,835
- Good evening.
- Oh!
941
00:44:33,921 --> 00:44:35,787
- Good God, who's this, then?
- Er, well...
942
00:44:35,882 --> 00:44:38,044
...this is Bill's father.
943
00:44:38,217 --> 00:44:41,335
And this is Joan, and
this is my son, Eddie.
944
00:44:41,429 --> 00:44:43,921
What the hell's he
doin' 'ere, then?
945
00:44:44,307 --> 00:44:45,764
Well, he's waiting here.
946
00:44:46,184 --> 00:44:47,675
They were out next door.
947
00:44:47,727 --> 00:44:49,263
Oh, aye?
948
00:44:50,062 --> 00:44:51,553
Well, they're back now.
949
00:44:52,356 --> 00:44:53,142
Oooh!
950
00:44:53,274 --> 00:44:55,687
I must go and see my son.
951
00:44:56,068 --> 00:44:57,775
Thanks for your hospitality.
952
00:44:57,778 --> 00:44:59,861
Don't mention it.
953
00:44:59,906 --> 00:45:01,363
See him out, Eddie.
954
00:45:01,699 --> 00:45:03,611
Why? Is he blind?
955
00:45:03,868 --> 00:45:04,779
- Oh...
- Eddie.
956
00:45:04,869 --> 00:45:07,361
It, it's all right - I'll find
my way out.
957
00:45:07,455 --> 00:45:08,787
Goodbye.
958
00:45:09,207 --> 00:45:10,493
I hope we get a chance...
959
00:45:10,666 --> 00:45:14,080
- ...to meet again.
- Oh, I'm sure we will, Annie.
960
00:45:14,420 --> 00:45:15,536
Did you hear that?
961
00:45:15,838 --> 00:45:17,545
Did you bloody well
hear that?
962
00:45:17,632 --> 00:45:19,749
- Hear what?
- He called you "Annie".
963
00:45:20,009 --> 00:45:22,126
Well, what about it? It's
me name, isn't it?
964
00:45:22,386 --> 00:45:24,002
You were taking a chance!
965
00:45:24,180 --> 00:45:25,967
Alone in a house with
a Sambo.
966
00:45:26,307 --> 00:45:27,047
'Specially 'im!
967
00:45:27,099 --> 00:45:29,307
Seemed ever so nice to me.
968
00:45:29,518 --> 00:45:30,884
That's not the point.
969
00:45:31,020 --> 00:45:32,761
His first visit to this country.
970
00:45:33,064 --> 00:45:36,102
For all we know, you could be the
first white woman he's ever seen.
971
00:45:36,275 --> 00:45:37,482
Well, what's wrong with that?
972
00:45:37,693 --> 00:45:38,774
Don't you see?
973
00:45:38,945 --> 00:45:40,561
You could've incited him...
974
00:45:40,655 --> 00:45:43,068
...to lust, and... all that.
975
00:45:43,908 --> 00:45:47,743
Incited him to...
what you said!
976
00:45:49,121 --> 00:45:50,657
You need a good, hot
cup of tea.
977
00:45:53,876 --> 00:45:55,479
Right, come on Terry. Let's
be having you.
978
00:45:55,503 --> 00:45:57,460
Union subscription, twenty-five pee.
979
00:45:57,713 --> 00:46:00,456
Eddie - can I give you half
now, and half next week?
980
00:46:00,549 --> 00:46:01,549
Why?
981
00:46:02,051 --> 00:46:03,508
Well, it's a long story.
982
00:46:03,761 --> 00:46:06,299
Y'see, Norma and I - we've been
puttin' our 'eads together.
983
00:46:06,347 --> 00:46:07,383
Yes, mate.
984
00:46:07,556 --> 00:46:08,742
It's not the only thing
you've been putting together.
985
00:46:08,766 --> 00:46:11,008
- All right, son, pay me next week.
- Thanks, Eddie.
986
00:46:12,603 --> 00:46:13,719
Oi, Sambo!
987
00:46:14,146 --> 00:46:16,263
Union subscription, twenty-five pee.
988
00:46:18,776 --> 00:46:21,018
Can you bloody hear me?
I'm talking to you.
989
00:46:21,070 --> 00:46:22,732
Look, I've told you what
my name is...
990
00:46:22,822 --> 00:46:24,438
...and it isn't Sambo, right?
991
00:46:24,490 --> 00:46:26,948
Oh, shut your face. Look, I want
your union subscription.
992
00:46:27,159 --> 00:46:28,366
You're not getting it.
993
00:46:29,328 --> 00:46:31,208
As a matter of fact, I'm not
all that keen on...
994
00:46:31,247 --> 00:46:32,954
...being in your white union!
995
00:46:33,082 --> 00:46:36,075
No bloody choice, mate! You've
got to be a union member.
996
00:46:36,585 --> 00:46:38,577
Then I'll join another union.
997
00:46:38,838 --> 00:46:39,838
You can't.
998
00:46:40,006 --> 00:46:41,793
There's only one union
in this shop.
999
00:46:41,841 --> 00:46:43,878
The Amalgamated Engineering Union.
1000
00:46:43,926 --> 00:46:45,167
AEU.
1001
00:46:45,303 --> 00:46:47,169
Huh, I'll form one of my own.
1002
00:46:47,221 --> 00:46:49,929
- The ABU.
- ABU?
1003
00:46:50,599 --> 00:46:52,181
The All-Black Union.
1004
00:46:52,226 --> 00:46:54,138
Come on, get out of
my way, man.
1005
00:46:54,186 --> 00:46:55,222
Right!
1006
00:46:58,399 --> 00:47:00,607
Yes, Mr Buckley,
I'll tell him you rang.
1007
00:47:00,985 --> 00:47:02,192
Oh, just a minute.
Here he is.
1008
00:47:02,361 --> 00:47:05,900
It's Mr Buckley, Ajex Engineering,
on about his hinge pins.
1009
00:47:06,365 --> 00:47:08,857
Hello, Norman.
1010
00:47:08,909 --> 00:47:11,151
Er, now look, don't worry
about your hinge pins.
1011
00:47:11,203 --> 00:47:12,681
Look, I've just come from
the shop floor...
1012
00:47:12,705 --> 00:47:14,742
...and your order's
well in hand.
1013
00:47:15,916 --> 00:47:16,827
Er, no, no, no...
1014
00:47:16,876 --> 00:47:18,708
...no, we have no
industrial problems at...
1015
00:47:18,711 --> 00:47:20,703
...Riverside Engineering. No.
1016
00:47:20,796 --> 00:47:23,459
Out! Out! Out!
1017
00:47:28,012 --> 00:47:31,005
Out! Out! Out!
1018
00:47:31,057 --> 00:47:32,326
- 'Ey, look, he's coming.
- Out! Out!
1019
00:47:32,350 --> 00:47:36,264
- Out! Out! Out!
- Oi!
1020
00:47:36,312 --> 00:47:37,952
What the hell's going on?
1021
00:47:37,980 --> 00:47:39,596
I'm calling a mass-meeting.
1022
00:47:39,732 --> 00:47:41,689
What, all fifteen of you?
1023
00:47:41,942 --> 00:47:44,229
Get these men back to work!
1024
00:47:44,403 --> 00:47:47,271
It's all right you joking.
And don't shout at me!
1025
00:47:47,573 --> 00:47:49,530
Oh! What have you
stopped work for?
1026
00:47:49,742 --> 00:47:51,153
It's the Sambos.
1027
00:47:51,660 --> 00:47:52,992
They've left the union.
1028
00:47:53,245 --> 00:47:54,565
So what are you gonna
do about it?
1029
00:47:54,789 --> 00:47:57,406
- I can't do anything about it.
- Oh, yes, you can.
1030
00:47:57,500 --> 00:48:00,368
This is a union shop. They
should all be in the union.
1031
00:48:01,128 --> 00:48:04,087
What do you expect me
to do? Sack all the blacks?
1032
00:48:04,382 --> 00:48:07,090
I have no wish
to provoke dismissals.
1033
00:48:07,343 --> 00:48:09,175
But as the official
union spokesman...
1034
00:48:09,720 --> 00:48:11,256
...I call upon you as
the management...
1035
00:48:11,347 --> 00:48:14,465
...to use the full weight of your
influence to persuade the blackies...
1036
00:48:14,683 --> 00:48:17,050
...it is in their best interests to return...
1037
00:48:17,228 --> 00:48:20,346
- ...to the AEU.
- Hear, hear.
1038
00:48:20,523 --> 00:48:22,685
What if they won't
listen to me?
1039
00:48:23,192 --> 00:48:24,728
Sack the bloody lot.
1040
00:48:25,277 --> 00:48:26,893
Right, out! Out!
1041
00:48:27,071 --> 00:48:29,984
Out! Out! Out!
1042
00:48:39,708 --> 00:48:41,449
Good morning, Mrs Booth.
1043
00:48:41,627 --> 00:48:42,993
Oh, hello Mr Reynolds.
1044
00:48:43,170 --> 00:48:45,207
I was just wondering
if your mother-in-law...
1045
00:48:45,256 --> 00:48:47,418
...would like to come out
with me this morning.
1046
00:48:47,466 --> 00:48:49,503
Just a minute, I'll see.
Mother?
1047
00:48:50,845 --> 00:48:52,280
- Bill's father wants to take you out.
- Hello.
1048
00:48:52,304 --> 00:48:55,422
You took your time.
I've been ready for the past hour.
1049
00:48:55,558 --> 00:48:56,799
Come on.
1050
00:48:56,976 --> 00:48:59,559
We'll do a bit of sightseeing.
1051
00:49:02,565 --> 00:49:04,522
I don't mind taking the
bus, do you?
1052
00:49:04,692 --> 00:49:06,604
Oh, no. No, no.
1053
00:49:07,528 --> 00:49:10,066
- This way.
- This is fine.
1054
00:49:10,489 --> 00:49:13,903
We are defending a principle
here today, brothers.
1055
00:49:14,452 --> 00:49:16,284
We've always been
solid in the past.
1056
00:49:16,662 --> 00:49:18,745
And we must be solid
in the future.
1057
00:49:18,873 --> 00:49:21,661
The only place they're solid, brothers...
1058
00:49:21,750 --> 00:49:23,036
...is in the head!
1059
00:49:24,920 --> 00:49:28,209
Do you mind? I'm holding an
official union meeting.
1060
00:49:28,257 --> 00:49:30,670
- So am I, right?
- Right!
1061
00:49:30,968 --> 00:49:33,085
Nobody recognises
your union.
1062
00:49:33,345 --> 00:49:34,836
Ah, yes - we do.
1063
00:49:34,930 --> 00:49:37,263
POWER...
1064
00:49:37,308 --> 00:49:41,143
- ...to the BLACK UNION!
- Right on!
1065
00:49:41,520 --> 00:49:43,136
Up the white union!
1066
00:49:43,189 --> 00:49:45,181
Please...
1067
00:49:45,316 --> 00:49:46,898
...on a point of order.
1068
00:49:46,984 --> 00:49:50,022
I am not knowing which union
I am belonging.
1069
00:49:50,112 --> 00:49:53,526
Well, come on, brother. You belong
to this union. You're not white.
1070
00:49:53,741 --> 00:49:55,607
He's not bloody black, either.
1071
00:49:56,118 --> 00:49:58,701
Oh, dear. What a bloody
mess I am.
1072
00:49:59,121 --> 00:50:02,330
Now, brothers, the issue
before us today is simple.
1073
00:50:02,875 --> 00:50:05,458
Either the blackies
come back to the union...
1074
00:50:05,794 --> 00:50:09,879
- ...or we refuse to work with them.
- Withdraw our labour.
1075
00:50:10,174 --> 00:50:13,258
- Hear, hear!
- All those in favour.
1076
00:50:13,469 --> 00:50:15,210
Yeah!
1077
00:50:15,262 --> 00:50:17,299
Carried unanimously.
1078
00:50:18,265 --> 00:50:19,265
Well, Sambo.
1079
00:50:19,808 --> 00:50:21,720
May we welcome you back
to the union?
1080
00:50:21,852 --> 00:50:24,014
- NO! Right?
- Right!
1081
00:50:24,271 --> 00:50:26,558
Very well. We have
no option...
1082
00:50:26,774 --> 00:50:29,141
...but to put our resolution
into effect.
1083
00:50:29,485 --> 00:50:33,024
We are now... on strike!
1084
00:50:36,534 --> 00:50:39,823
Right. We're going back to
work, brothers. Right?
1085
00:50:40,162 --> 00:50:42,279
RIGHT!
1086
00:50:42,373 --> 00:50:44,706
You blacklegs!
1087
00:50:46,710 --> 00:50:49,748
Ooh!
1088
00:50:50,798 --> 00:50:52,164
Oh.
1089
00:50:53,008 --> 00:50:54,249
Ah, yes.
1090
00:50:54,385 --> 00:50:56,342
Betty, get me some more
steel bars, will you?
1091
00:50:56,387 --> 00:50:58,174
- How many more do you want?
- About a dozen.
1092
00:50:58,222 --> 00:51:00,009
I've got to get this order out.
1093
00:51:00,224 --> 00:51:03,717
- I've got me hands dirty.
- Never mind your dirty hands!
1094
00:51:04,061 --> 00:51:05,268
There's no need to shout.
1095
00:51:05,312 --> 00:51:07,269
It's not my fault they've
gone on strike.
1096
00:51:12,653 --> 00:51:14,047
What the 'ell do you
think you're doing?
1097
00:51:14,071 --> 00:51:16,063
What does it look as
though I'm doing?
1098
00:51:16,115 --> 00:51:18,027
I'm making hinge pins.
1099
00:51:18,200 --> 00:51:20,237
- Oh, no, you're not.
- Oh, yes, I am.
1100
00:51:20,744 --> 00:51:22,326
Oh, no, you're not!
1101
00:51:23,455 --> 00:51:26,539
I OWN this machine.
I'm entitled to operate it.
1102
00:51:26,750 --> 00:51:29,493
The said machines shall not be
operated by any unauthorised persons.
1103
00:51:29,628 --> 00:51:31,494
Non-union members.
1104
00:51:31,547 --> 00:51:34,506
National agreement, as
formulated by the AEU...
1105
00:51:34,758 --> 00:51:36,294
...endorsed by the TUC...
1106
00:51:36,302 --> 00:51:38,385
...and recognised by the CBI.
1107
00:51:38,887 --> 00:51:40,198
Do I understand that
I cannot operate...
1108
00:51:40,222 --> 00:51:42,062
...this machine because
I'm not a union member?
1109
00:51:42,224 --> 00:51:42,839
Correct.
1110
00:51:43,058 --> 00:51:44,924
- Right. I'll join.
- Pardon?
1111
00:51:44,977 --> 00:51:47,247
I'll join the union. There you are.
That's my year's subscription.
1112
00:51:47,271 --> 00:51:48,707
Now as a fully paid-up member
of the union...
1113
00:51:48,731 --> 00:51:50,792
...I'm entitled to operate the
machine. Ha, ha, ha, ha!
1114
00:51:50,816 --> 00:51:52,648
- No you can't.
- Ha, ha, ha, ha!
1115
00:51:52,693 --> 00:51:54,400
Why not? I've joined the union.
1116
00:51:54,486 --> 00:51:55,818
You cannot operate
this machine.
1117
00:51:55,988 --> 00:51:57,729
As a fully paid-up member
of the union...
1118
00:51:57,781 --> 00:51:59,363
...you are now on strike!
1119
00:52:00,492 --> 00:52:02,154
Oh, sod it!
1120
00:52:05,664 --> 00:52:07,701
Is it safe to come in, or
do I have to black up?
1121
00:52:07,875 --> 00:52:09,787
Come in. Kitchens are
neutral territory.
1122
00:52:10,377 --> 00:52:11,083
Shall I put the kettle on?
1123
00:52:11,337 --> 00:52:13,374
Oh, kettle's on - and
I've made the tea.
1124
00:52:13,589 --> 00:52:14,589
Good.
1125
00:52:15,007 --> 00:52:16,999
How long do you think
the feud will last?
1126
00:52:17,176 --> 00:52:18,758
Search me.
1127
00:52:18,844 --> 00:52:21,632
You know what Eddie and Bill are like.
It's probably all over by now.
1128
00:52:23,515 --> 00:52:24,722
Eddie don't mean any harm.
1129
00:52:25,684 --> 00:52:27,444
Well, he should learn to keep
his mouth shut.
1130
00:52:27,686 --> 00:52:28,972
Nah, he's just outspoken.
1131
00:52:29,355 --> 00:52:31,062
Believes in calling a
spade a spade.
1132
00:52:31,649 --> 00:52:32,685
Watch it.
1133
00:52:33,275 --> 00:52:34,766
Now don't you get touchy!
1134
00:52:34,860 --> 00:52:36,296
Well, don't start calling
me a spade!
1135
00:52:36,320 --> 00:52:37,777
I didn't call you a spade.
1136
00:52:37,821 --> 00:52:39,437
Oh, yes, you did.
I heard you.
1137
00:52:41,033 --> 00:52:43,650
Do you know something, you're nearly
as touchy as your Bill.
1138
00:52:43,952 --> 00:52:46,660
Do you know something? You're
more ignorant than your Eddie.
1139
00:52:47,289 --> 00:52:50,282
- I didn't come 'ere to be insulted.
- Well, go!
1140
00:52:50,793 --> 00:52:51,793
I will!
1141
00:52:56,340 --> 00:52:58,047
And you can keep your
rotten tea.
1142
00:53:00,177 --> 00:53:01,793
- Oh.
- Good afternoon.
1143
00:53:01,887 --> 00:53:03,879
I 'ope you don't mind me
comin' round the back.
1144
00:53:04,848 --> 00:53:05,804
Can I come in?
1145
00:53:05,849 --> 00:53:07,911
- Please yourself. I'm just leaving.
- No, hang about, hang about.
1146
00:53:07,935 --> 00:53:09,972
- I need the both of yer.
- What for?
1147
00:53:10,020 --> 00:53:11,602
Well, let me sit down first.
1148
00:53:11,647 --> 00:53:14,640
- Oh, come and sit here.
- Ah. Me feet are killin' me.
1149
00:53:15,818 --> 00:53:17,855
Oooh. That's better.
1150
00:53:20,364 --> 00:53:22,947
Ah. 'Scuse me, I suffer
with me sinuses.
1151
00:53:23,534 --> 00:53:25,116
Now, then... let me see, now.
1152
00:53:25,828 --> 00:53:28,571
You must be Joan.
And you're Barbie.
1153
00:53:29,331 --> 00:53:30,242
How d'you know?
1154
00:53:30,290 --> 00:53:32,828
I'm Carter, from the Gazette.
You've probably seen my byline...
1155
00:53:32,918 --> 00:53:35,331
..."Out and About with Carter".
Between the obituaries...
1156
00:53:35,379 --> 00:53:36,665
...and the agony column.
1157
00:53:36,839 --> 00:53:39,752
- No.
- I'm not surprised.
1158
00:53:39,883 --> 00:53:41,966
Now, about this "Love Thy
Neighbour" competition.
1159
00:53:42,344 --> 00:53:43,551
Ooh, have we won?
1160
00:53:43,595 --> 00:53:45,257
Well nobody's been judged yet.
1161
00:53:45,431 --> 00:53:47,343
I've just called round
to verify yer.
1162
00:53:47,558 --> 00:53:50,926
You obviously qualify for
colour. One of each. Heh, heh!
1163
00:53:51,186 --> 00:53:53,178
I, er...
1164
00:53:53,230 --> 00:53:55,643
...suppose you're friendly
with each other?
1165
00:53:55,733 --> 00:53:58,271
Oh, yes, we're very friendly.
1166
00:53:58,360 --> 00:54:00,226
And how about yer husbands?
They get on well?
1167
00:54:00,279 --> 00:54:03,363
Oh... like a house on fire.
1168
00:54:12,040 --> 00:54:14,077
We're lucky with the weather,
aren't we?
1169
00:54:14,501 --> 00:54:17,289
Do you mind if I ask
you a personal question?
1170
00:54:17,379 --> 00:54:18,379
What is it?
1171
00:54:18,714 --> 00:54:22,128
Well, to me you seem
rather pale for a blackie.
1172
00:54:24,344 --> 00:54:26,506
We're not all King Coles.
1173
00:54:26,597 --> 00:54:28,680
Oh, no. No.
Only...
1174
00:54:29,224 --> 00:54:33,138
...it's that, er, your lad, he's more darker
than what you are.
1175
00:54:33,771 --> 00:54:35,182
Yes.
1176
00:54:35,397 --> 00:54:37,104
Spitting image of his mother.
1177
00:54:37,483 --> 00:54:39,850
- Oh, I see!
- Mmm.
1178
00:54:42,112 --> 00:54:44,445
London is a beautiful city.
1179
00:54:44,823 --> 00:54:48,066
Yes... but you should
see Manchester.
1180
00:54:49,912 --> 00:54:51,869
It's like coming home, to me.
1181
00:54:52,873 --> 00:54:55,490
I thought you said your
home was Trinidad.
1182
00:54:56,335 --> 00:54:57,871
Trinidad is where I live...
1183
00:54:58,086 --> 00:55:00,669
...but to all West Indians...
1184
00:55:01,715 --> 00:55:04,332
- ...this is the mother country.
- Oh, yes.
1185
00:55:04,802 --> 00:55:07,294
Do you see that dome thing...
1186
00:55:07,346 --> 00:55:08,928
- ...over there?
- Yes.
1187
00:55:09,223 --> 00:55:10,634
St Paul's.
1188
00:55:11,725 --> 00:55:13,261
Oh, really?
1189
00:55:13,393 --> 00:55:15,635
- Sir Christopher Wren.
- Beg your pardon?
1190
00:55:15,771 --> 00:55:18,013
It was designed by
Sir Christopher Wren.
1191
00:55:18,232 --> 00:55:19,348
He's buried there.
1192
00:55:20,526 --> 00:55:21,526
Buried?
1193
00:55:22,110 --> 00:55:23,601
That's nice for him.
1194
00:55:23,987 --> 00:55:26,354
Oh, we can
see everything together.
1195
00:55:26,406 --> 00:55:29,945
Ah, the Bucking-ham Palace.
Westminster Abbey.
1196
00:55:29,993 --> 00:55:32,030
Yes. And this afternoon...
1197
00:55:32,412 --> 00:55:34,278
...I will take you...
1198
00:55:34,373 --> 00:55:39,619
..to Woolworth's, Marks and
Spencer's, and C&A.
1199
00:55:40,504 --> 00:55:41,711
You'll love it.
1200
00:55:42,256 --> 00:55:43,918
Looking forward to that.
1201
00:55:44,007 --> 00:55:47,546
C & Spencer. Well...
yes, yes, yes.
1202
00:55:57,855 --> 00:56:00,097
Isn't it nice and peaceful without
the machines going?
1203
00:56:00,482 --> 00:56:03,225
Yes... like a graveyard.
1204
00:56:16,290 --> 00:56:17,656
Any letters for me?
1205
00:56:18,333 --> 00:56:20,325
Yes - a suicide note...
1206
00:56:20,544 --> 00:56:22,080
...and I'll write it meself.
1207
00:56:22,754 --> 00:56:25,087
Don't talk like that,
Mr Granger.
1208
00:56:25,215 --> 00:56:27,068
Come on - let's you and me
get back on the machine.
1209
00:56:27,092 --> 00:56:28,799
I don't mind getting me
hands dirty.
1210
00:56:34,099 --> 00:56:35,260
D'you hear that, Eddie?
1211
00:56:36,894 --> 00:56:38,385
We've been betrayed!
1212
00:56:42,107 --> 00:56:43,564
How's it coming along?
1213
00:56:43,609 --> 00:56:45,420
Mr Granger, don't worry -
we'll try our best...
1214
00:56:45,444 --> 00:56:46,924
...to get your order finished
on time.
1215
00:56:47,112 --> 00:56:49,729
- Do you think you can manage it?
- Oh, most definitely.
1216
00:56:49,907 --> 00:56:52,024
Even if we have to
work like blacks.
1217
00:56:53,285 --> 00:56:54,617
YOU BLACK SCAB!
1218
00:56:54,661 --> 00:56:57,153
Well... how did you lot get in?
1219
00:56:57,456 --> 00:56:58,913
We came through the
loading bay.
1220
00:56:59,291 --> 00:57:01,704
'Ere, Jacko was supposed
to be picketing that.
1221
00:57:01,752 --> 00:57:02,913
Wait till I see Jacko.
1222
00:57:02,920 --> 00:57:04,286
He'll be suspended
for this.
1223
00:57:04,338 --> 00:57:07,081
Get out the road!
1224
00:57:07,424 --> 00:57:09,165
Hey, you're a bit late, Eddie!
1225
00:57:09,635 --> 00:57:11,251
He-ee-elp!
1226
00:57:12,262 --> 00:57:13,423
Somebody!
1227
00:57:14,640 --> 00:57:15,640
Anybody!
1228
00:57:16,183 --> 00:57:17,264
Eddie!
1229
00:57:18,143 --> 00:57:21,307
You see, Joan, I've always
believed in taking action.
1230
00:57:21,897 --> 00:57:23,889
So have I.
You can wipe.
1231
00:57:25,025 --> 00:57:27,142
Once we let these nig nogs
get the upper hand...
1232
00:57:27,402 --> 00:57:29,042
...there's no telling where it
could lead.
1233
00:57:29,112 --> 00:57:30,853
We'd be overrun within a week.
1234
00:57:31,823 --> 00:57:33,610
They breed quicker
than what we do.
1235
00:57:33,784 --> 00:57:34,784
Oh, yes?
1236
00:57:35,118 --> 00:57:36,780
It's all that curry they eat,
you know.
1237
00:57:37,955 --> 00:57:39,412
There we are then.
I'm off.
1238
00:57:40,582 --> 00:57:43,199
- Off? Where're you going
- I'm going out.
1239
00:57:43,460 --> 00:57:46,077
- I'm over twenty-one.
- Yes, I know, but it's Wednesday.
1240
00:57:46,546 --> 00:57:48,066
Don't you want to see
Coronation Street?
1241
00:57:48,090 --> 00:57:50,298
"See it"? I flamin' live in it.
1242
00:57:51,051 --> 00:57:52,383
- Who're you going with?
- Ah.
1243
00:57:52,427 --> 00:57:54,464
That'd be telling.
1244
00:57:57,891 --> 00:57:59,883
Mrs Booth. Mr Booth.
1245
00:58:00,477 --> 00:58:01,968
Annie, are you ready?
1246
00:58:02,229 --> 00:58:03,595
Yes, Joe.
1247
00:58:04,106 --> 00:58:05,438
Don't wait up for me.
1248
00:58:19,621 --> 00:58:21,783
Am I going stark
raving mad, love...
1249
00:58:22,290 --> 00:58:24,452
...or did I just see my mother
go out with a golliwog?
1250
00:58:25,460 --> 00:58:26,701
She'll be all right.
1251
00:58:27,170 --> 00:58:28,877
It's him I'd worry about.
1252
00:58:31,550 --> 00:58:35,464
Now we're on our own, why don't
we have an early night?
1253
00:58:38,265 --> 00:58:40,302
In any case... she
hasn't even got a key.
1254
00:58:42,269 --> 00:58:45,228
- So leave the front door open.
- Leave the front door open?
1255
00:58:45,605 --> 00:58:47,437
With Jungle Boy living
next door? Huh!
1256
00:58:47,774 --> 00:58:48,774
Not bloody likely.
1257
00:58:49,276 --> 00:58:50,687
You could be ravished
in your sleep.
1258
00:58:50,819 --> 00:58:52,230
Chance'd be a fine thing.
1259
00:58:52,362 --> 00:58:54,570
No, Joan. I'm waiting
up for my mother.
1260
00:58:55,407 --> 00:58:56,989
I don't trust her with
Sambo Senior.
1261
00:58:59,619 --> 00:59:01,736
- They're lovely, aren't they, these chips
- Oh, yes.
1262
00:59:01,747 --> 00:59:03,704
D'you have the same thing
in Trinidad?
1263
00:59:03,749 --> 00:59:05,786
- Er, oh, um... um.
- Listen...
1264
00:59:06,293 --> 00:59:08,626
I'll have to be getting in,
it's past midnight.
1265
00:59:09,296 --> 00:59:11,458
Mmm. Have you got a key?
1266
00:59:11,757 --> 00:59:13,999
Yes. I've borrowed
Joan's. She'll never notice.
1267
00:59:14,593 --> 00:59:17,461
Oh. Um, what
about Friday? Is it all right?
1268
00:59:17,554 --> 00:59:20,137
Yes, that's on as
far as I'm concerned.
1269
00:59:20,474 --> 00:59:21,510
Good.
1270
00:59:22,184 --> 00:59:24,301
Do you think our sons
will object?
1271
00:59:24,978 --> 00:59:26,344
Only if we tell them.
1272
00:59:26,730 --> 00:59:29,063
Goodnight, Joe.
1273
00:59:29,149 --> 00:59:31,141
Goodnight, Annie.
1274
00:59:47,000 --> 00:59:50,243
An' it was as big as...
1275
00:59:52,089 --> 00:59:55,127
- Blimey, you look a bit rough.
- I feel bloody rough, I tell you.
1276
00:59:55,258 --> 00:59:57,218
- 'Ere come the blacks.
- Right, lads. Spread out.
1277
00:59:57,260 --> 00:59:59,126
Assume positions.
And remember...
1278
00:59:59,221 --> 01:00:01,588
...we picket by the rule book.
Peaceful persuasion.
1279
01:00:01,681 --> 01:00:03,092
'Ey, what if we don't persuade 'em?
1280
01:00:03,141 --> 01:00:04,677
We knock their big black 'eads in.
1281
01:00:04,768 --> 01:00:06,760
Right, are you gonna let us pass?
1282
01:00:06,853 --> 01:00:08,890
- Rejoin the union?
- No.
1283
01:00:09,022 --> 01:00:10,354
Well, cobblers to yer.
1284
01:00:10,398 --> 01:00:11,809
That is violence of the tongue.
1285
01:00:11,942 --> 01:00:13,878
- If you don't get back you'll get...
- violence of the fist.
1286
01:00:13,902 --> 01:00:15,985
That's tellin' him, Eddie.
1287
01:00:28,333 --> 01:00:32,122
Let's go. Let's go. Let's go.
And honkies, we'll be back!
1288
01:00:33,672 --> 01:00:34,708
We'll be waiting.
1289
01:00:37,175 --> 01:00:40,794
Go on, get out.
Out!
1290
01:00:40,887 --> 01:00:42,879
Come on..!
1291
01:00:47,686 --> 01:00:48,686
Right.
1292
01:00:49,104 --> 01:00:50,504
- All right, take it easy.
- Look...
1293
01:00:51,106 --> 01:00:53,974
- ...why don't we just rush them?
- Oh, very, very good idea.
1294
01:00:54,067 --> 01:00:55,808
The Charge of the Black Brigade!
1295
01:00:55,819 --> 01:00:57,230
A few swift kicks up
the Khyber...
1296
01:00:57,320 --> 01:00:58,777
- ...and we'd soon be inside.
- No...
1297
01:00:58,780 --> 01:01:00,863
...that wouldn't do any good.
Too many of them, man.
1298
01:01:00,907 --> 01:01:03,866
Oh, dear. We are losing before
we have even started.
1299
01:01:03,910 --> 01:01:05,526
Oh, no, we aren't.
1300
01:01:05,787 --> 01:01:08,029
Whitey is not going to
stop us from working.
1301
01:01:08,165 --> 01:01:10,498
All right, take it easy, man.
You have two pee?
1302
01:01:13,128 --> 01:01:14,128
Okay, fellers...
1303
01:01:14,546 --> 01:01:16,333
...I've something up my sleeve.
Come on.
1304
01:01:16,798 --> 01:01:18,755
I'll buy anovver one.
Huh. Blackies.
1305
01:01:19,050 --> 01:01:20,837
Yeah, I'll stick on that.
1306
01:01:20,886 --> 01:01:22,923
Right. Oh...
1307
01:01:23,180 --> 01:01:24,671
Pontoons and five-card
tricks only.
1308
01:01:24,848 --> 01:01:25,964
You jammy sod!
1309
01:01:26,099 --> 01:01:27,139
This goes on any longer...
1310
01:01:27,184 --> 01:01:28,578
- ...you'll be 'avin to retire.
- Ah! Look!
1311
01:01:28,602 --> 01:01:29,602
What?
1312
01:01:30,061 --> 01:01:30,676
Help!
1313
01:01:30,729 --> 01:01:32,516
- Help, please!
- Please, someone help us!
1314
01:01:32,606 --> 01:01:33,687
- What's that?
- Cor!
1315
01:01:33,732 --> 01:01:34,732
- Hey, you!
- Hang about.
1316
01:01:36,776 --> 01:01:38,017
Get on with it!
1317
01:01:38,403 --> 01:01:40,019
Help, help!
Someone help us!
1318
01:01:40,071 --> 01:01:42,529
- What's the trouble, chucky egg?
- Our friend feels faint.
1319
01:01:42,532 --> 01:01:44,719
Oh, thank God. At first I thought
she'd had a black out, you know.
1320
01:01:44,743 --> 01:01:47,076
Well, if she's faint we should
loosen her sweater a bit.
1321
01:01:47,120 --> 01:01:49,203
No, no, no, no, I'll give
her the kiss of life.
1322
01:01:49,247 --> 01:01:50,658
- I'll massage 'er legs.
- Yeah.
1323
01:01:50,665 --> 01:01:53,426
- That won't do her any good.
- No, but it'll do me the world of good.
1324
01:01:53,543 --> 01:01:54,729
Would you like a cup of
water, love?
1325
01:01:54,753 --> 01:01:56,119
Oh, you are kind.
1326
01:01:56,171 --> 01:01:58,083
I'll hold her for you, Eddie.
1327
01:01:58,131 --> 01:01:59,131
Bloody Nora!
1328
01:01:59,216 --> 01:02:03,301
Black power! Black power!
1329
01:02:07,015 --> 01:02:09,302
Now, remember, boys - keep
your eyes open.
1330
01:02:09,351 --> 01:02:11,434
- Yup.
- We were tricked yesterday.
1331
01:02:11,519 --> 01:02:13,055
But once bitten is twice shy.
1332
01:02:13,104 --> 01:02:15,187
- Right!
- So we'll keep these positions.
1333
01:02:15,482 --> 01:02:16,482
We don't move an inch.
1334
01:02:17,108 --> 01:02:19,566
No matter if Shirley Bassey comes
down that street naked.
1335
01:02:19,736 --> 01:02:21,648
- Phwoar!
- Have you all got that?
1336
01:02:21,655 --> 01:02:23,146
Definitely.
1337
01:02:23,198 --> 01:02:25,861
- Any questions?
- Have I time to go for me camera?
1338
01:02:26,076 --> 01:02:27,970
- What do you want your camera for?
- Take her picture.
1339
01:02:27,994 --> 01:02:29,951
- Whose picture?
- Shirley Bassey.
1340
01:02:29,996 --> 01:02:31,783
Somebody tell 'im.
1341
01:02:31,831 --> 01:02:33,663
He's in a world
of his own, this one.
1342
01:02:33,833 --> 01:02:35,745
- Hold on a minute...
- Hey! Hey!
1343
01:02:35,835 --> 01:02:37,701
Oi! Oi! Oi!
1344
01:02:40,298 --> 01:02:41,539
Can you open the gate?
1345
01:02:41,591 --> 01:02:43,486
I'm sorry, mate. You can't come
in here. We're picketing.
1346
01:02:43,510 --> 01:02:46,150
Look, mate, I've got something in
the back I'm supposed to deliver.
1347
01:02:46,179 --> 01:02:47,966
Well, you're not delivering
in here today.
1348
01:02:48,556 --> 01:02:50,468
I'll report you to the
Transport Union.
1349
01:02:50,767 --> 01:02:53,134
I don't care if you report me to the
Mother's Union.
1350
01:02:54,187 --> 01:02:55,187
Sod off!
1351
01:02:59,985 --> 01:03:02,505
- Looks like we're winning today, Eddie.
- Yes, Terry. You see...
1352
01:03:02,529 --> 01:03:04,521
...it's only a question
of perseverence.
1353
01:03:04,864 --> 01:03:06,230
'Ang about, here's anovver one.
1354
01:03:07,826 --> 01:03:09,909
- Oi, just a minute.
- 'Old it.
1355
01:03:11,913 --> 01:03:13,996
- You can't come in here.
- Why not?
1356
01:03:14,457 --> 01:03:16,449
Never mind why not,
Sambo - hop it.
1357
01:03:16,710 --> 01:03:17,917
Whatever you say.
1358
01:03:18,128 --> 01:03:20,745
But don't blame me when the
beer runs out in the club.
1359
01:03:23,133 --> 01:03:25,591
'Ere, be a nasty situation if the
beer does run out, Eddie.
1360
01:03:26,678 --> 01:03:29,341
Oi, hang about old friend.
Old friend...
1361
01:03:29,556 --> 01:03:31,843
...beer is neutral - right, lads?
1362
01:03:31,933 --> 01:03:33,390
- Open the gates.
- Aye.
1363
01:03:33,852 --> 01:03:35,559
Come on, now, let him through.
1364
01:03:38,231 --> 01:03:42,896
Hip, hip, hooray! Ha, ha!
1365
01:04:07,844 --> 01:04:08,504
Now, lads...
1366
01:04:08,636 --> 01:04:09,716
...they won't get in today.
1367
01:04:09,846 --> 01:04:12,884
- But you said that yesterday.
- It'll be different today.
1368
01:04:13,058 --> 01:04:14,970
That's what you said the
day before.
1369
01:04:15,143 --> 01:04:17,601
The trouble is, we're abiding
by the rules...
1370
01:04:17,645 --> 01:04:19,765
...while the jungle bunnies
are resorting to trickery.
1371
01:04:20,065 --> 01:04:21,584
They're not playing the game
like white men.
1372
01:04:21,608 --> 01:04:23,019
They'd have a bloody job on!
1373
01:04:23,109 --> 01:04:25,192
Nevertheless, brothers,
I think we can safely say...
1374
01:04:25,403 --> 01:04:28,237
...we have gained the upper hand.
It's half past ten already.
1375
01:04:28,323 --> 01:04:30,315
- ...and not a Sambo in sight.
- Yeah.
1376
01:04:30,408 --> 01:04:31,865
Right, men. Man the gates.
1377
01:04:32,035 --> 01:04:33,675
I'm going to the
social club for a pint...
1378
01:04:33,745 --> 01:04:35,222
...so let me know if there's
any trouble.
1379
01:04:35,246 --> 01:04:37,329
I'll come down and
let you know right away.
1380
01:04:47,967 --> 01:04:49,959
Oi! Eddie!
1381
01:04:50,053 --> 01:04:53,888
"We shall overcome."
Greetings from Black Power!
1382
01:04:53,932 --> 01:04:56,970
"We shall overcome."
- You black bas...
1383
01:04:57,143 --> 01:05:00,762
"Some day!"
1384
01:05:02,941 --> 01:05:06,560
"Oh, deep in my heart"...
1385
01:05:06,820 --> 01:05:10,564
..."I do believe."
1386
01:05:10,740 --> 01:05:12,572
"We are the champions!"
1387
01:05:14,160 --> 01:05:15,901
"We are the champions!"
1388
01:05:17,622 --> 01:05:22,492
"We..." Hey, how's the strike going,
o Great White Union Chief?
1389
01:05:22,585 --> 01:05:24,918
What the'ell are you doing in here?
Your lot's blacklegs.
1390
01:05:25,004 --> 01:05:26,211
We're club members.
1391
01:05:26,423 --> 01:05:28,415
- Bu...
- They are entitled to. It's in the rules.
1392
01:05:28,466 --> 01:05:29,582
Well, we should change 'em.
1393
01:05:29,717 --> 01:05:31,583
We don't want
illiterate savages in here.
1394
01:05:31,636 --> 01:05:34,720
When are you leaving, then, Eddie?
1395
01:05:37,934 --> 01:05:40,051
Take no notice of them, Eddie.
1396
01:05:40,728 --> 01:05:42,765
There's none of us safe
with that lot.
1397
01:05:42,814 --> 01:05:43,975
'Ave a bit of that.
1398
01:05:45,233 --> 01:05:46,233
Oh, dear.
1399
01:05:47,402 --> 01:05:48,688
This beer taste off to you?
1400
01:05:48,778 --> 01:05:52,021
Never mind the swining beer.
They're not used to strong drink.
1401
01:05:52,115 --> 01:05:55,074
Look, they'll be safe as long as
they stick to drinking bitter.
1402
01:05:55,243 --> 01:05:56,905
It's not funny, Arthur.
1403
01:05:57,120 --> 01:06:00,659
I mean, it's all right for us but to
them, it's like... it's like firewater.
1404
01:06:00,915 --> 01:06:02,872
Aye. It inflames them,
you know?
1405
01:06:03,501 --> 01:06:06,619
Quite right, Jacko. A few of pints of
this and they could go beserk.
1406
01:06:06,838 --> 01:06:09,956
You'd better watch it, honky.
I'm onto my sixth pint.
1407
01:06:10,133 --> 01:06:12,295
We're working ourselves up
into a frenzy.
1408
01:06:12,343 --> 01:06:14,300
Yeeaarrgh!!
1409
01:06:15,096 --> 01:06:16,553
There you are - what
did I tell you?!
1410
01:06:16,848 --> 01:06:19,181
Take no notice. They're just
havin' you on, Eddie.
1411
01:06:19,309 --> 01:06:21,266
Don't you believe it, Arthur!
1412
01:06:21,311 --> 01:06:22,830
They're only once removed
from cannibals.
1413
01:06:22,854 --> 01:06:26,564
A few more pints of this and... we could
all end up in their dinners.
1414
01:06:33,781 --> 01:06:35,147
Is everything all right?
1415
01:06:35,241 --> 01:06:37,528
Yes, I told Joan we're
going to bingo again.
1416
01:06:37,577 --> 01:06:41,287
Oh, dear. I told Barbie we were
going to the pictures.
1417
01:06:41,331 --> 01:06:43,368
Oh, 'elp!
1418
01:06:43,500 --> 01:06:45,537
Oh, you've let us in for
something, Joe!
1419
01:06:47,754 --> 01:06:49,648
- Yeah, well, goodnight, Eddie.
- Goodnight, Arthur.
1420
01:06:49,672 --> 01:06:51,038
- Goodnight Jacko.
- 'Night, Eddie.
1421
01:06:51,424 --> 01:06:53,666
Hey, don't be late in the morning
for picketing.
1422
01:06:53,718 --> 01:06:54,424
- No, we won't.
- Psst.
1423
01:06:54,511 --> 01:06:55,843
- Goodnight.
- Pardon?
1424
01:06:56,221 --> 01:06:57,132
Psst!
1425
01:06:57,222 --> 01:06:58,963
- Who is it?
- Over here, Eddie.
1426
01:06:59,015 --> 01:07:00,256
What's all this, then?
1427
01:07:00,350 --> 01:07:02,558
It's all that bitter, Eddie.
1428
01:07:03,144 --> 01:07:05,352
We've gone back to
the law of the jungle.
1429
01:07:05,438 --> 01:07:08,021
- Oh!
- We've decalred war on the white man.
1430
01:07:08,024 --> 01:07:09,140
And you...
1431
01:07:09,234 --> 01:07:11,226
...you are our first victim.
1432
01:07:11,277 --> 01:07:12,939
Yeah, but it... No! No!
1433
01:07:12,987 --> 01:07:15,024
Bu... Bu... I...
1434
01:07:28,086 --> 01:07:29,452
NO!
1435
01:07:30,588 --> 01:07:32,705
White man...
1436
01:07:33,716 --> 01:07:35,002
...PERISH!
1437
01:07:36,010 --> 01:07:37,672
Billy! Billy! Billy!
1438
01:07:38,388 --> 01:07:39,549
Don't play sily beggars!
1439
01:07:39,597 --> 01:07:40,883
A, a joke's a joke!
1440
01:07:41,140 --> 01:07:44,258
This is no joke, bwana!
1441
01:07:44,310 --> 01:07:47,519
It's a long time since I tasted
white man's meat!
1442
01:07:48,022 --> 01:07:49,604
YUM, YUM!
1443
01:07:51,734 --> 01:07:53,691
You... you... you... wouldn't like me.
1444
01:07:53,736 --> 01:07:55,693
I, I, I'm all gristle.
1445
01:07:55,780 --> 01:07:57,897
I wouldn't say so.
1446
01:07:57,949 --> 01:07:59,861
Lots of meat here!
1447
01:07:59,951 --> 01:08:01,943
Get your... ARRGH!
1448
01:08:05,623 --> 01:08:06,784
Fellers!
1449
01:08:07,917 --> 01:08:11,251
Bring on the vegetable!
1450
01:08:11,504 --> 01:08:13,336
POTATOES!
1451
01:08:18,303 --> 01:08:20,169
Why don't she take the pill?
1452
01:08:20,179 --> 01:08:22,045
- Oh, she don't 'old with pills.
- Well...
1453
01:08:22,098 --> 01:08:26,012
- ...she'll 'ave to get 'im seen to.
- Oh, ho! 'Ee won't like that.
1454
01:08:26,436 --> 01:08:29,304
We 'ad our ginger tom doctored
and he went very strange.
1455
01:08:29,689 --> 01:08:32,727
- Is he workin' yet?
- Workin'?! Hah!
1456
01:08:33,067 --> 01:08:35,605
'Ee ain't got no strength left
to work!
1457
01:08:37,363 --> 01:08:38,570
Heard a noise.
1458
01:08:38,740 --> 01:08:41,858
- It is the cleaning women.
- Then come on, fellers, let's split.
1459
01:08:42,118 --> 01:08:43,154
What about Eddie?
1460
01:08:43,578 --> 01:08:45,615
No, no, no. He'll be all right.
He's only fainted.
1461
01:08:45,705 --> 01:08:48,197
Well, sh... should we not be putting
his trousers back on?
1462
01:08:48,291 --> 01:08:50,283
Nah, nah, leave him just as he is.
Come on.
1463
01:09:00,762 --> 01:09:02,879
There's somebody in
the kitchens!
1464
01:09:06,392 --> 01:09:07,883
'Oo d'you think it is?
1465
01:09:08,102 --> 01:09:10,435
- P'raps it's a burglar.
- Ooh.
1466
01:09:11,481 --> 01:09:13,393
Is anybody there?
- Oh...
1467
01:09:13,441 --> 01:09:17,185
...don't be so daft! If he was a burglar
'e wouldn't answer you, would he?
1468
01:09:17,362 --> 01:09:18,482
Shall we go and have a look?
1469
01:09:18,571 --> 01:09:21,029
Oh, I don't know if we should.
1470
01:09:21,282 --> 01:09:22,282
'Ere...
1471
01:09:23,034 --> 01:09:24,320
...we could get raped.
1472
01:09:24,410 --> 01:09:26,151
We should be so lucky.
1473
01:09:32,752 --> 01:09:35,369
- Can you see anything?
- No.
1474
01:09:38,007 --> 01:09:41,000
That's funny. There's a
pile of clothes 'ere!
1475
01:09:41,386 --> 01:09:43,878
Shirt, underpants, boots...
1476
01:09:44,097 --> 01:09:45,429
...trousers.
1477
01:09:46,391 --> 01:09:47,507
Jacket.
1478
01:09:47,558 --> 01:09:49,675
Oh!
1479
01:09:49,769 --> 01:09:50,885
What was that?
1480
01:09:54,691 --> 01:09:57,980
- It's comin' from the boiler!
- Ooh... Gawd.
1481
01:10:07,995 --> 01:10:10,612
Uh... Oh.
1482
01:10:15,128 --> 01:10:16,710
No, No! Don't go!
1483
01:10:16,963 --> 01:10:18,249
You... you've got me clothes.
1484
01:10:18,297 --> 01:10:19,788
Uh...
1485
01:10:20,466 --> 01:10:21,957
Aw.
1486
01:10:36,190 --> 01:10:37,772
Taxi... taxi... taxi.
1487
01:10:38,109 --> 01:10:40,647
Oh, bloody Nora,
I haven't got any money.
1488
01:10:51,372 --> 01:10:52,372
Agh! Ooh.
1489
01:11:04,677 --> 01:11:07,545
He's in there - exposing himself.
1490
01:11:08,765 --> 01:11:11,883
Well, he's not here now, miss.
You must have scared him.
1491
01:11:12,101 --> 01:11:14,138
Well, he didn't half frighten
me, I can tell you.
1492
01:11:14,228 --> 01:11:16,185
Yes. Yes. Of course.
Now then...
1493
01:11:16,397 --> 01:11:18,059
...what, what did he look like?
1494
01:11:18,232 --> 01:11:20,144
Naked, he looked like.
1495
01:11:20,401 --> 01:11:23,860
Huh, yes... but, I mean, was he,
er, was he big or small?
1496
01:11:25,281 --> 01:11:28,069
I don't know -
he had a tea towel on.
1497
01:11:30,661 --> 01:11:33,574
Well, uh, er,
apart from him being naked...
1498
01:11:33,664 --> 01:11:36,156
...did you notice
anything unusual about him?
1499
01:11:37,293 --> 01:11:38,625
A red stripe.
1500
01:11:40,463 --> 01:11:41,749
Red stripe?
1501
01:11:42,715 --> 01:11:43,922
On his tea towel.
1502
01:11:44,509 --> 01:11:46,000
On his...
1503
01:11:47,220 --> 01:11:48,836
...yes, miss. Well, er...
1504
01:11:49,138 --> 01:11:53,303
...people imagine they see all sorts of
funny things, 'specially at night-time.
1505
01:11:53,476 --> 01:11:56,264
If I was you I'd, eh, get off
home, eh? Ha, ha.
1506
01:11:56,646 --> 01:11:58,308
Evening, miss.
1507
01:12:01,275 --> 01:12:05,440
HEY!! Maple Terrace -
and make it bloody quick.
1508
01:12:19,502 --> 01:12:20,663
It wasn't funny.
1509
01:12:20,920 --> 01:12:22,920
Ooh. I wish I could've been there
to see your face.
1510
01:12:23,214 --> 01:12:24,750
I was lucky not to
catch pneumonia.
1511
01:12:25,424 --> 01:12:27,024
I've got a good mind to
phone the police.
1512
01:12:27,093 --> 01:12:29,710
Oh, it was only a joke.
They didn't actually cook you.
1513
01:12:30,596 --> 01:12:31,803
They might've done...
1514
01:12:31,931 --> 01:12:33,342
...if I hadn't fainted.
1515
01:12:33,641 --> 01:12:35,974
See who that is.
1516
01:12:43,276 --> 01:12:44,983
Postcard here, five pee.
1517
01:12:45,278 --> 01:12:47,440
Oh, aye, are you selling
'em now, then?
1518
01:12:47,655 --> 01:12:50,113
Five pee - excess.
There's no stamp on it.
1519
01:12:51,284 --> 01:12:52,724
It's from your
brother-in-law, Cyril.
1520
01:12:53,327 --> 01:12:54,738
He's in Tangier.
1521
01:12:55,288 --> 01:12:56,529
I might have known.
1522
01:12:56,747 --> 01:12:58,613
I bet he knocked the bloody
card off as well.
1523
01:12:59,000 --> 01:13:00,000
Hang on a minute.
1524
01:13:02,503 --> 01:13:03,710
There. Ta.
1525
01:13:13,848 --> 01:13:16,135
- Who was at the front door?
- Prince Philip.
1526
01:13:16,350 --> 01:13:18,161
He wants to know if I'm
free for polo on Sunday.
1527
01:13:18,185 --> 01:13:20,177
Oh, aren't we witty
this morning?
1528
01:13:20,605 --> 01:13:23,439
It's from your Cyril - the
Casanova of the Casbah.
1529
01:13:23,608 --> 01:13:26,271
- What's he want this time?
- Doctoring, if you ask me.
1530
01:13:26,861 --> 01:13:28,978
- Don't be vulgar.
- Well, read it.
1531
01:13:29,822 --> 01:13:31,182
He's put somebody else
in the club.
1532
01:13:32,909 --> 01:13:36,118
I'm sure he can't help it.
It's that climate out there.
1533
01:13:36,412 --> 01:13:38,654
- I think the heat affects him.
- Oh, give over.
1534
01:13:39,040 --> 01:13:41,999
He got two birds in trouble on that
ski-ing holiday in the Cairngorms.
1535
01:13:42,209 --> 01:13:44,075
Don't exaggerate.
1536
01:13:45,630 --> 01:13:47,087
Give your mother a shout.
1537
01:13:49,967 --> 01:13:50,967
Mum.
1538
01:14:00,436 --> 01:14:02,519
- Mum!
- She must still be asleep.
1539
01:14:02,605 --> 01:14:05,973
Well, I'm not surprised. What time
did she get in last night?
1540
01:14:06,317 --> 01:14:09,105
Long before you did, my
little meat and two veg.
1541
01:14:10,404 --> 01:14:11,404
Mum!
1542
01:14:11,489 --> 01:14:13,481
- I'll go up and wake her up.
- All right, love.
1543
01:14:16,744 --> 01:14:17,905
See yer tonight, then.
1544
01:14:18,287 --> 01:14:20,074
Irish stew all right for tea, dear?
1545
01:14:20,498 --> 01:14:21,989
No, I'll try a stick of
black pudding.
1546
01:14:22,083 --> 01:14:23,915
Oh!
1547
01:14:30,424 --> 01:14:31,424
Eddie?
1548
01:14:31,884 --> 01:14:33,250
- Yes, love?
- She's not here.
1549
01:14:33,302 --> 01:14:35,009
Pardon?
1550
01:14:35,096 --> 01:14:37,258
Your mother-she didn't
come home last night.
1551
01:14:37,306 --> 01:14:38,922
Her bed's not been slept in.
1552
01:14:39,684 --> 01:14:42,142
It's that nig nog.
He's bloody ate 'er!
1553
01:14:46,899 --> 01:14:49,107
Hey, hey. Hold it. You trying to break
down the door?
1554
01:14:50,111 --> 01:14:51,727
What have you done with
my mother, Sambo?
1555
01:14:51,821 --> 01:14:53,232
I haven't seen your mother, honky.
1556
01:14:53,364 --> 01:14:55,467
She was out with your father
last night. She ain't come home yet.
1557
01:14:55,491 --> 01:14:58,780
I don't blame her. If I was your
mother I wouldn't come home either.
1558
01:14:58,828 --> 01:15:00,865
It's nothing to bloody laugh about.
1559
01:15:01,080 --> 01:15:02,616
Fetch your old feller.
I want a word with him
1560
01:15:02,623 --> 01:15:04,034
Bill!
- Huh?
1561
01:15:04,166 --> 01:15:06,374
Your father never came
home last night.
1562
01:15:25,438 --> 01:15:28,125
I knew we'd have trouble with Al Jolson
as soon as I clapped eyes on him.
1563
01:15:28,149 --> 01:15:29,793
No. Nothing wrong with
my father, you know.
1564
01:15:29,817 --> 01:15:31,044
I'll have him deported for this.
1565
01:15:31,068 --> 01:15:33,230
I never did trust the old crow,
anyway.
1566
01:15:34,113 --> 01:15:35,113
He's seduced her.
1567
01:15:35,156 --> 01:15:37,634
If there was any seducing done it
was your mother who did it, you know?
1568
01:15:37,658 --> 01:15:40,025
Cobblers. My mother wouldn't
seduce anybody.
1569
01:15:40,202 --> 01:15:42,114
Least of all a senile
old Sambo!
1570
01:15:42,163 --> 01:15:44,280
Ever swallowed a bunch of
black fives yet?
1571
01:15:44,498 --> 01:15:46,364
All right, you two, now
calm down!
1572
01:15:46,500 --> 01:15:48,708
Calm down?! Calm down!
How can I calm down?
1573
01:15:49,003 --> 01:15:51,040
For all we know she could
be in a canoe now...
1574
01:15:51,172 --> 01:15:53,066
- ...half way up the bloody Zambezi.
- Yes... yes...
1575
01:15:53,090 --> 01:15:54,151
...and my father's probably been...
1576
01:15:54,175 --> 01:15:56,212
...shanghaied up the ships'
canal to Manchester.
1577
01:15:56,677 --> 01:15:58,293
The Manchester Ship Canal.
1578
01:15:58,345 --> 01:16:01,133
Can't you get anything
right? Bloody chocolate drop.
1579
01:16:01,182 --> 01:16:03,219
- Look!
- Joan! Joan!
1580
01:16:03,350 --> 01:16:05,307
Hit him with the kettle!
You give him one!
1581
01:16:05,478 --> 01:16:08,346
Now, it's something borrowed,
something blue.
1582
01:16:08,397 --> 01:16:10,810
- Does it look all right?
- It's lovely.
1583
01:16:10,983 --> 01:16:13,475
All the same,
I still feel a bit guilty.
1584
01:16:14,070 --> 01:16:14,810
What for?
1585
01:16:14,945 --> 01:16:17,187
Well, I think we should have
told them, really.
1586
01:16:17,448 --> 01:16:20,612
Well, If we had done we probably
wouldn't be sitting here now.
1587
01:16:20,910 --> 01:16:24,369
No, but we ought to let
them know we're all right.
1588
01:16:24,538 --> 01:16:26,450
After all, they might
be worried.
1589
01:16:28,542 --> 01:16:31,876
If it'll make you happier, I'll go
and ring your Eddie.
1590
01:16:41,806 --> 01:16:42,806
Hello?
1591
01:16:43,516 --> 01:16:44,516
It's the mother-stealer.
1592
01:16:45,476 --> 01:16:47,718
What have you done with my
mother? You black Casanova!
1593
01:16:47,770 --> 01:16:48,770
Eddie!
1594
01:16:51,482 --> 01:16:52,482
Hello?
1595
01:16:54,151 --> 01:16:56,017
Mr Reynolds,
is everything all right?
1596
01:16:58,823 --> 01:17:00,234
Hmm. I see.
1597
01:17:01,242 --> 01:17:02,323
Yes, of course.
1598
01:17:03,953 --> 01:17:05,364
Yes, we were worried.
1599
01:17:06,956 --> 01:17:07,956
Pardon?
1600
01:17:09,708 --> 01:17:10,949
Oh. Very well.
1601
01:17:11,794 --> 01:17:12,794
Goodbye.
1602
01:17:12,962 --> 01:17:14,842
- Hey, are they all right?
- Where've they been?
1603
01:17:15,047 --> 01:17:16,879
What's happened to my mother?
1604
01:17:17,424 --> 01:17:19,165
If you let me get a word in,
I'll tell yer.
1605
01:17:20,302 --> 01:17:22,760
Your father and Eddie's mother
were invited to a party.
1606
01:17:22,888 --> 01:17:24,845
It went on a bit late so
they stayed the night.
1607
01:17:25,307 --> 01:17:27,219
I knew it.
He seduced her
1608
01:17:28,018 --> 01:17:29,304
Dirty old sod.
1609
01:17:29,436 --> 01:17:32,349
- Where was the party?
- Just outside Richmond.
1610
01:17:32,815 --> 01:17:34,772
Some friend of your father's
he knew in Trinidad.
1611
01:17:35,359 --> 01:17:36,359
Hey, Elroy.
1612
01:17:36,861 --> 01:17:39,353
- When are they coming back?
- I don't know.
1613
01:17:40,072 --> 01:17:42,940
He had to hang up because the
Registrar wanted to use the phone.
1614
01:17:43,784 --> 01:17:46,527
- Registrar?
- What were they doing at a Registrar's?
1615
01:17:46,662 --> 01:17:48,265
There's only three reasons why you
go to a Registrar...
1616
01:17:48,289 --> 01:17:49,780
...births, deaths and marriage.
1617
01:17:49,957 --> 01:17:53,291
Well she's not having a baby.
They're not dead. Bloody Nora!
1618
01:17:53,502 --> 01:17:54,367
They're getting married!
1619
01:17:54,503 --> 01:17:56,523
- Oh, that's ridiculous.
- Look, we gotta stop them.
1620
01:17:56,547 --> 01:17:59,005
I don't want a drop of white
blood in MY family.
1621
01:17:59,091 --> 01:18:00,091
Come on!
1622
01:18:08,142 --> 01:18:10,725
Hey!
Pay the man.
1623
01:18:10,811 --> 01:18:11,597
I've no money... you pay him.
1624
01:18:11,645 --> 01:18:13,623
Look, I've no money.
It was your idea in the first place.
1625
01:18:13,647 --> 01:18:15,354
Hurry up!
1626
01:18:15,608 --> 01:18:17,224
We don't want to be late.
1627
01:18:17,276 --> 01:18:19,484
- Excuse me. Excuse us, please.
- Hey! Hey! Hey!
1628
01:18:19,653 --> 01:18:21,736
- What's the matter?
- Don't you wanna kiss my bride?
1629
01:18:21,822 --> 01:18:23,717
You don't understand. We want to
get inside quickly.
1630
01:18:23,741 --> 01:18:26,022
- Not good enough for you, I suppose?
- No, no, you see...
1631
01:18:26,076 --> 01:18:27,554
...we're in a hurry, we've gotta
meet somebody inside.
1632
01:18:27,578 --> 01:18:29,431
Look, Eddie, we'll be quicker
to kiss the bride, huh?
1633
01:18:29,455 --> 01:18:30,455
- Yes.
- Oh!?
1634
01:18:32,041 --> 01:18:33,748
Hmm, she's very nice, isn't she?
1635
01:18:33,792 --> 01:18:35,749
- Come 'ere.
- HEY!
1636
01:18:37,671 --> 01:18:39,913
And now, I pronounce you
man and wife.
1637
01:18:43,719 --> 01:18:44,719
Congratulations.
1638
01:18:45,930 --> 01:18:47,341
Congratulations.
1639
01:18:47,848 --> 01:18:50,056
Congratulations, Elroy.
1640
01:18:50,309 --> 01:18:53,518
And thank you, Joe - and thank you
both for coming to our wedding.
1641
01:18:54,021 --> 01:18:55,387
It was wonderful!
1642
01:18:55,898 --> 01:18:58,936
I've never been to a blackie
wedding before.
1643
01:18:59,151 --> 01:19:00,879
Now if you care to step
through to my office...
1644
01:19:00,903 --> 01:19:02,610
...I'll give you your
marriage certificate.
1645
01:19:03,197 --> 01:19:05,314
Oh, don't they make a
lovely couple?
1646
01:19:05,658 --> 01:19:08,275
Well, don't cry.
1647
01:19:08,327 --> 01:19:12,071
Oh, I always cry at weddings.
I'm very emotional.
1648
01:19:14,500 --> 01:19:16,332
Hey, stop this wedding!
Stop it!
1649
01:19:16,377 --> 01:19:18,697
- Don't worry mum... don't cry.
- What's going on out here?
1650
01:19:19,296 --> 01:19:20,536
I've come to stop this wedding.
1651
01:19:21,131 --> 01:19:22,212
I'm afraid you're too late.
1652
01:19:22,925 --> 01:19:24,527
They've just signed the
marriage certificate.
1653
01:19:24,551 --> 01:19:27,840
Oh, have they indeed.
Come here.
1654
01:19:28,347 --> 01:19:30,930
I now declare this ceremony
null and void.
1655
01:19:31,100 --> 01:19:33,340
- I second that.
- You shouldn't have done that, brother.
1656
01:19:33,394 --> 01:19:35,351
- Why not?
- That was our marriage certificate.
1657
01:19:35,396 --> 01:19:35,806
Yours?
1658
01:19:36,188 --> 01:19:41,229
You great big pair of taters! Joe
and me were only invited guests.
1659
01:19:41,777 --> 01:19:42,813
Bloody Nora!
1660
01:19:42,903 --> 01:19:44,360
They've ruined our wedding, Elroy.
1661
01:19:44,405 --> 01:19:46,192
Never mind, honey.
I'll fix them both.
1662
01:19:46,282 --> 01:19:47,864
Now. Now. Now. Now.
Temper, temper.
1663
01:19:47,992 --> 01:19:48,992
There they are!
1664
01:19:49,076 --> 01:19:50,942
I never saw them before
in my life!
1665
01:19:51,036 --> 01:19:52,447
I... I was only wishing
her luck.
1666
01:19:52,788 --> 01:19:54,868
- You'll be needing all the luck.
- Er, now listen...
1667
01:19:54,957 --> 01:19:57,352
...before you do anything hasty,
there's one thing I want to say.
1668
01:19:57,376 --> 01:19:59,288
- What's that?
- Run for it, Bill.
1669
01:20:03,382 --> 01:20:04,122
Nice one, Bill.
1670
01:20:04,258 --> 01:20:05,590
- In here?
- Yes, it's all right.
1671
01:20:05,634 --> 01:20:07,216
Don't hang about.
1672
01:20:19,773 --> 01:20:22,015
If only you'd told us.
1673
01:20:22,192 --> 01:20:24,775
What, with Bill and Eddie
in the state they were in?
1674
01:20:24,862 --> 01:20:27,354
Well, we didn't want to cause
any more trouble.
1675
01:20:27,406 --> 01:20:28,425
- No, course not.
- Well...
1676
01:20:28,449 --> 01:20:30,649
- ...you couldn't have caused any less.
- Just a minute.
1677
01:20:31,118 --> 01:20:33,576
Well, at least one good thing's
come out of it.
1678
01:20:33,620 --> 01:20:34,620
Joan.
1679
01:20:34,830 --> 01:20:36,913
It brought the boys together.
1680
01:20:37,249 --> 01:20:38,990
Look, would you mind
topping me up?
1681
01:20:39,376 --> 01:20:40,492
Come on.
1682
01:20:40,753 --> 01:20:42,836
You don't mind if I
have one, do yer?
1683
01:20:42,880 --> 01:20:44,746
Oh no, course not.
Have one on me.
1684
01:20:46,967 --> 01:20:50,631
Did you hear what I said?
Did you hear what I said?
1685
01:20:51,597 --> 01:20:52,462
Get your 'and off me.
1686
01:20:52,473 --> 01:20:54,556
I said...
I said...
1687
01:20:54,600 --> 01:20:56,637
..."'ave one on me, I said!"
1688
01:20:58,270 --> 01:20:59,430
Bloody marvellous, innit, eh?
1689
01:20:59,521 --> 01:21:01,624
I no sooner turn me back and
they call the strike off.
1690
01:21:01,648 --> 01:21:04,265
Yeah, even my blacklegs rejoined
the union.
1691
01:21:04,860 --> 01:21:07,773
Yeah. Oh, by the way, that reminds
me - you still owe me union subs.
1692
01:21:07,988 --> 01:21:09,775
- Twenty-five pee.
- You'll get it.
1693
01:21:10,032 --> 01:21:12,991
Yeah, I reckon you ought to
give me fifty pee - you being a Tory.
1694
01:21:13,786 --> 01:21:16,494
I guess you'll want an extra
fifty pee for being black, eh?
1695
01:21:17,664 --> 01:21:18,745
Ah, cobblers.
1696
01:21:29,635 --> 01:21:30,967
Hey. Hey.
1697
01:21:31,387 --> 01:21:32,798
- What?
- Look at it.
1698
01:21:36,517 --> 01:21:39,225
Hold it still!
1699
01:21:39,311 --> 01:21:40,927
What the hell's goin'
on here?
1700
01:21:41,021 --> 01:21:44,014
- Oh, is it somebody's birthday?
- We're celebrating the armistice.
1701
01:21:44,191 --> 01:21:45,627
What're you talking about?
What armistice?
1702
01:21:45,651 --> 01:21:48,485
- Between you and Bill.
- We haven't declared any armistice.
1703
01:21:48,612 --> 01:21:51,525
No, but we have. We're
sick and tired of all the arguing.
1704
01:21:51,657 --> 01:21:53,614
- Joan!
- Don't argue.
1705
01:21:56,245 --> 01:21:58,862
It's time we learnt to live in
peaceful coexistence.
1706
01:21:59,164 --> 01:22:00,575
Joan's right, son.
1707
01:22:01,291 --> 01:22:03,453
You can't let us West Indians down.
1708
01:22:03,544 --> 01:22:05,911
We have a reputation for
being friendly.
1709
01:22:06,004 --> 01:22:09,623
And you know what they say
about us northerners.
1710
01:22:09,925 --> 01:22:12,884
They say you can't ask for
better neighbours.
1711
01:22:16,723 --> 01:22:17,723
Cheers!
1712
01:22:18,725 --> 01:22:20,091
Ah, dear.
1713
01:22:20,686 --> 01:22:21,686
Well..?
1714
01:22:22,813 --> 01:22:23,473
Well what?
1715
01:22:23,814 --> 01:22:24,975
Shake hands.
1716
01:22:26,066 --> 01:22:27,898
- Pardon?
- You 'eard.
1717
01:22:29,445 --> 01:22:31,061
And that goes for you too, Bill.
1718
01:22:32,990 --> 01:22:34,190
Well, what do you think, then?
1719
01:22:35,117 --> 01:22:37,905
Well, seeing that we're stuck with
living next door to each other...
1720
01:22:38,454 --> 01:22:39,865
Might as well make the best of it.
1721
01:22:41,457 --> 01:22:43,164
Put it here... neighbour.
1722
01:22:44,418 --> 01:22:46,705
Why not... friend.
1723
01:22:53,260 --> 01:22:54,260
You know, Bill...
1724
01:22:56,972 --> 01:22:58,972
...I think it's time we started to
get on together.
1725
01:22:59,099 --> 01:23:00,715
Yeah, yeah. You're right, Eddie.
1726
01:23:00,809 --> 01:23:02,892
I mean, after all, we're both
human beings.
1727
01:23:03,020 --> 01:23:04,352
True... very true.
1728
01:23:04,771 --> 01:23:06,512
We might have different
coloured skins...
1729
01:23:06,690 --> 01:23:08,602
...but underneath, we're just
the same.
1730
01:23:09,902 --> 01:23:11,894
No, I er... I wouldn't say that.
1731
01:23:12,696 --> 01:23:14,904
- Why not?
- Well, it's obvious isn't it?
1732
01:23:15,157 --> 01:23:18,070
You see, underneath my
white skin, I'm civilised...
1733
01:23:18,577 --> 01:23:20,944
...but underneath your black skin
you're still primitive.
1734
01:23:21,205 --> 01:23:22,932
Look, you want me to dent your
white face in?
1735
01:23:22,956 --> 01:23:25,073
Don't you go threatening me, Sambo!
1736
01:23:27,669 --> 01:23:29,376
- Who the 'ell are you?
- I'm Carter.
1737
01:23:30,088 --> 01:23:32,831
You know, "Out and about with
Carter", from the Gazette.
1738
01:23:33,133 --> 01:23:35,625
- It's about the competition.
- What competition?
1739
01:23:35,886 --> 01:23:37,718
Well, the "Love Thy Neighbour"
competition.
1740
01:23:37,804 --> 01:23:39,164
Your wives have put you up for it.
1741
01:23:39,348 --> 01:23:42,557
What, with this skinhead here?
Man, you must be joking!
1742
01:23:42,893 --> 01:23:44,930
Well, don't you fancy
a Mediterranean cruise?
1743
01:23:45,103 --> 01:23:45,638
Cruise..?
1744
01:23:45,979 --> 01:23:48,892
I wouldn't go on a cruise with Snow White
here if they paid me.
1745
01:23:49,233 --> 01:23:52,897
And I wouldn't be caught on the
same ship with this... poofy honky!
1746
01:23:53,862 --> 01:23:54,978
Don't you "honky" me.
1747
01:23:55,322 --> 01:23:57,442
Well, I hope you lot change your
mind by next weekend.
1748
01:23:57,908 --> 01:23:58,989
'Cause you've won it.
1749
01:23:59,660 --> 01:24:03,028
An 'oliday for the nation's
nicest neighbours.
1750
01:24:03,789 --> 01:24:05,325
Congratulations.
1751
01:24:18,178 --> 01:24:19,885
This is very nice, isn't it Eddie?
1752
01:24:20,597 --> 01:24:23,214
I don't know why they had to put us
on the same table as Sambo.
1753
01:24:23,559 --> 01:24:26,267
I don't like it any better than
you do, you know, honky?
1754
01:24:26,937 --> 01:24:28,081
To the loving neighbours...
1755
01:24:28,105 --> 01:24:30,392
...with the Captain's compliments.
1756
01:24:30,482 --> 01:24:31,939
Hello, Joan!
1757
01:24:32,025 --> 01:24:33,357
Cyril!
1758
01:24:33,443 --> 01:24:35,776
- What are you doing here?
- Bloody Nora!
1759
01:24:36,280 --> 01:24:37,771
I thought you were in Tangiers?
1760
01:24:37,864 --> 01:24:39,150
I had to get out quick.
1761
01:24:39,783 --> 01:24:41,695
Don't tell us -
running away from some girl?
1762
01:24:41,910 --> 01:24:43,137
No, I was running away from
her father.
1763
01:24:43,161 --> 01:24:44,472
Here, I brought the girl with me.
1764
01:24:44,496 --> 01:24:46,533
He sounds just like his postcards.
1765
01:24:46,540 --> 01:24:49,060
I'm sorry, it's Barbie and Bill Reynolds,
our next-door neighbours.
1766
01:24:49,084 --> 01:24:50,684
What the hell are you doing
working here?
1767
01:24:50,711 --> 01:24:52,828
It's a working honeymoon.
I'm married.
1768
01:24:52,963 --> 01:24:54,454
- Then congratulations.
- Thank you.
1769
01:24:54,464 --> 01:24:56,401
Would you like to meet the wife?
She's a stewardess on board.
1770
01:24:56,425 --> 01:24:58,838
Definitely. I'd like to meet my
new sister-in-law.
1771
01:24:59,344 --> 01:25:01,051
And you keep your big black
eyes off her.
1772
01:25:01,930 --> 01:25:03,296
Oi, Carol! Er...
1773
01:25:04,725 --> 01:25:05,725
...here she is.
1774
01:25:09,229 --> 01:25:11,016
- Carol!
- Barbie!
1775
01:25:11,106 --> 01:25:13,849
- Hey, do you two know each other?
- They ought to, they're sisters!
1776
01:25:14,192 --> 01:25:16,149
Sisters?! Sisters!
1777
01:25:16,612 --> 01:25:17,978
You know what this means, Joan?
1778
01:25:18,238 --> 01:25:20,070
Sambo and me are bloody related!
1779
01:25:24,036 --> 01:25:26,073
Welcome to the family,
brother Eddie.
1780
01:25:26,371 --> 01:25:28,033
Ha, haah!
1781
01:25:29,499 --> 01:25:30,499
Bloody Nora!
131376
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