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What a bore!
4
00:02:34,500 --> 00:02:36,125
Good evening.
5
00:02:36,333 --> 00:02:40,208
In brief, these are the topics
of today's tv news.
6
00:02:41,666 --> 00:02:44,833
Brilliant solution
for the Michelangelo and Raffaello.
7
00:02:45,041 --> 00:02:49,208
Anguishing questions
on the kidnapping of the century.
8
00:02:49,416 --> 00:02:52,916
Interview to the Minister
of Private Partnerships
9
00:02:53,125 --> 00:02:56,333
on the accusations against him.
10
00:02:56,541 --> 00:03:01,458
Important conclusions of the
Parliamentary commissions' works.
11
00:03:02,250 --> 00:03:05,625
After the failed attempts
in transforming
12
00:03:05,833 --> 00:03:09,291
the Michelangelo and Raffaello,
the pride of our Mercantile Navy,
13
00:03:09,500 --> 00:03:11,875
into floating gambling boats,
clinics or hotels,
14
00:03:12,083 --> 00:03:16,083
the minister involved has
decided to transform them into ships.
15
00:03:22,291 --> 00:03:27,250
A German tourist who was bathing
in the Tyrrhenian sea...
16
00:03:27,500 --> 00:03:29,125
Yes?
17
00:03:30,166 --> 00:03:32,291
Yes, but I don't inhale it.
18
00:03:34,250 --> 00:03:35,875
Alright.
19
00:03:36,916 --> 00:03:38,625
Excuse me.
20
00:03:40,500 --> 00:03:44,208
Who was bathing in the Tyrrhenian
sea, is miraculously still alive.
21
00:03:44,458 --> 00:03:48,083
The Vatican has not pronounced itself
on the authenticity of the miracle.
22
00:03:49,875 --> 00:03:53,583
The commission for abolition
of useless institutions
23
00:03:53,791 --> 00:03:58,166
has managed to bring the
number of institutions from 54,000...
24
00:03:58,375 --> 00:04:00,375
to 95,000?
25
00:04:04,958 --> 00:04:09,000
From 54,000 to 95,000.
26
00:04:09,208 --> 00:04:12,458
Among the new institutions,
is the AISPEE
27
00:04:12,666 --> 00:04:17,375
Assistance Institute for Survivors
of the Pompei and Ercolano Eruption.
28
00:04:17,583 --> 00:04:22,958
The IRIT is the Institute
for Releasing Innocent Thoughts.
29
00:04:23,208 --> 00:04:25,250
An agency flash.
30
00:04:26,583 --> 00:04:28,708
Once again an episode...
31
00:04:34,875 --> 00:04:38,125
Once again an episode
of youth violence.
32
00:04:39,375 --> 00:04:44,000
The police was obliged
to use tear gas
33
00:04:44,208 --> 00:04:46,416
to restore order in a Roman school,
34
00:04:46,625 --> 00:04:49,166
occupied by a group of extremists.
35
00:04:49,375 --> 00:04:51,875
Thanks to the intervention
of our officers,
36
00:04:52,083 --> 00:04:54,958
the incidents did not cause
any victims.
37
00:04:55,166 --> 00:04:58,875
They say there is also a picture.
Let's look at it.
38
00:05:03,875 --> 00:05:05,583
It isn't arriving.
39
00:05:05,791 --> 00:05:08,000
Please, have the picture appear.
40
00:05:09,250 --> 00:05:11,250
Alright, it's coming.
41
00:05:16,208 --> 00:05:21,333
Do you have the photo
of the extremists?
42
00:05:21,541 --> 00:05:25,041
Yes, the left wing ones.
Then send it!
43
00:05:26,625 --> 00:05:28,625
Alright, it's coming.
44
00:05:31,291 --> 00:05:34,583
Here is the Roman school
occupied by the extremists.
45
00:05:38,250 --> 00:05:41,041
So, we left off...
Oh, yes!
46
00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:45,500
Now we'll come to
the sensational kidnapping
47
00:05:45,708 --> 00:05:48,125
that caused so much disdain
48
00:05:48,333 --> 00:05:51,416
considering how well known
the kidnapped victim is,
49
00:05:51,625 --> 00:05:55,375
and the just as exceptional amount
asked for the ransom.
50
00:05:55,583 --> 00:05:57,791
25 billion.
51
00:05:58,000 --> 00:06:03,416
A record amount
in the sad statistics of kidnappings.
52
00:06:04,416 --> 00:06:08,416
Unfortunately, nothing yet has...
53
00:06:08,625 --> 00:06:10,916
Just a moment.
54
00:06:12,166 --> 00:06:14,166
An anonymous phone call informed
55
00:06:14,375 --> 00:06:16,583
that in a phone booth
in Piazza Indipendenza
56
00:06:16,791 --> 00:06:19,875
a message was left,
a filmed message.
57
00:06:22,916 --> 00:06:26,375
In fact, we have here
an 8 mm film reel.
58
00:06:26,583 --> 00:06:29,250
Miss, give it to the projection booth.
59
00:06:29,458 --> 00:06:31,083
Right away.
60
00:06:31,291 --> 00:06:35,000
- Must be a film by the kidnappers.
- I gave it to them.
61
00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:39,250
Thank you.
62
00:06:46,166 --> 00:06:48,375
Attorney's appeal. Take one.
63
00:06:48,625 --> 00:06:51,833
I want to reassure everyone
that I am in good health
64
00:06:52,041 --> 00:06:55,041
with totally functioning
mental capacities.
65
00:06:55,250 --> 00:06:59,041
Therefore, in complete agreement
with my kidnappers
66
00:06:59,250 --> 00:07:01,666
for payment of the ransom requested
67
00:07:01,875 --> 00:07:04,083
for me to again be free,
68
00:07:04,291 --> 00:07:07,458
I turn to those people
69
00:07:07,666 --> 00:07:12,750
who I consider my real, authentic
family... my workers.
70
00:07:12,958 --> 00:07:17,250
Workers of Mirafiori,
Lingotto, Rivalta,
71
00:07:17,500 --> 00:07:21,625
Grandi Motori, Ferriere.
all of you workers
72
00:07:21,875 --> 00:07:24,208
will pay for my ransom.
73
00:07:24,458 --> 00:07:28,500
Each of my workers will give up
three days of pay.
74
00:07:28,750 --> 00:07:32,583
I did all my calculations.
About 30,000 for 500,000 workers
75
00:07:32,791 --> 00:07:35,416
makes 15 billion,
plus a single quota
76
00:07:35,625 --> 00:07:41,000
of 5,000 Liras each
which makes two and a half billion.
77
00:07:41,208 --> 00:07:44,416
Seven billion 500 million
are missing
78
00:07:44,625 --> 00:07:47,541
of which three
will be integrated by layoff,
79
00:07:47,750 --> 00:07:50,458
and the rest of the amount
with family checks
80
00:07:50,666 --> 00:07:53,791
because my workers and I are
the loveliest Italian family of all.
81
00:07:54,041 --> 00:07:57,541
Thank you my dear friends.
I embrace you tightly.
82
00:08:01,291 --> 00:08:04,833
In concluding, we transmit
an interview I recorded
83
00:08:05,041 --> 00:08:08,500
for the exterior coverages of TG3.
84
00:08:10,458 --> 00:08:12,958
- You did it? May I?
- Yes, please.
85
00:08:22,083 --> 00:08:25,666
We are in Piazza Montecitorio
waiting for a person
86
00:08:25,875 --> 00:08:31,291
who in the past days has been object
of controversy and questions.
87
00:08:31,500 --> 00:08:33,208
Here he is.
88
00:08:33,416 --> 00:08:36,625
Minister, allow me to ask you
a few questions on behalf of TG3.
89
00:08:36,833 --> 00:08:38,500
Alright, but hurry.
90
00:08:38,708 --> 00:08:41,208
You know what you have
been accused of
91
00:08:41,416 --> 00:08:45,375
regarding the funds taken from
the orphans' cafeteria? 200 billion.
92
00:08:45,583 --> 00:08:49,583
- Of course I know.
- While waiting for the truth,
93
00:08:49,791 --> 00:08:52,041
maybe you should resign.
94
00:08:52,250 --> 00:08:54,875
Resign? Never! It would be wrong.
95
00:08:55,125 --> 00:08:58,541
Resigning would mean admitting
that the accusations are right.
96
00:08:58,750 --> 00:09:02,875
If I resign, I won't be able
to fight from a privileged position.
97
00:09:03,083 --> 00:09:06,166
In my position I can control
the investigation, evidence,
98
00:09:06,375 --> 00:09:09,291
corrupt witnesses.
I can detour the course of justice.
99
00:09:09,500 --> 00:09:13,750
- Isn't it against the law?
- No, I respect the law.
100
00:09:13,958 --> 00:09:17,666
Above all, the law of the strongest.
And since I am the strongest now,
101
00:09:17,875 --> 00:09:20,333
I intend to take advantage of it.
It is my duty.
102
00:09:20,541 --> 00:09:23,166
- Your duty towards who?
- The people who voted for me
103
00:09:23,375 --> 00:09:26,083
to obtain jobs, licenses,
permits and contracts,
104
00:09:26,291 --> 00:09:28,500
assistance in tax evasion,
105
00:09:28,708 --> 00:09:32,083
in administration of dirty money,
of poorly built dams collapsing,
106
00:09:32,291 --> 00:09:36,291
scandals, currency contraband.
- What are you saying?
107
00:09:36,541 --> 00:09:40,416
The voters see
an overbearing person in me.
108
00:09:40,625 --> 00:09:45,625
If they wanted an honest and upright
man, they wouldn't have voted for me.
109
00:09:45,833 --> 00:09:47,958
- Goodbye, boy.
- But...
110
00:09:49,875 --> 00:09:51,875
What a son of a bitch!
111
00:09:56,666 --> 00:09:59,166
What is it?
Hadn't we finished?
112
00:09:59,375 --> 00:10:01,625
What should I say?
That we've finished?
113
00:10:01,833 --> 00:10:03,458
Alright.
114
00:10:08,583 --> 00:10:12,958
Ladies and gentlemen, we've come to
the end of our first tv news program.
115
00:10:13,166 --> 00:10:15,750
See you during our next edition.
116
00:10:16,000 --> 00:10:18,208
We will now broadcast
the English lesson
117
00:10:18,416 --> 00:10:21,583
with the program,
"A Language For Everyone".
118
00:10:47,708 --> 00:10:51,375
Let's recapitulate
lesson number 4.
119
00:11:17,750 --> 00:11:20,916
And now, lesson number 5.
120
00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:30,625
I see the room that you rent.
121
00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:43,250
This is the spacious bathroom.
122
00:11:49,083 --> 00:11:51,750
This is the balcony.
123
00:11:57,083 --> 00:11:59,041
Yes, it's very peaceful.
124
00:11:59,291 --> 00:12:02,000
What is the building in front?
125
00:12:04,875 --> 00:12:07,083
Oh! It's an embassy.
126
00:12:10,916 --> 00:12:13,916
I like your room very much.
127
00:12:16,125 --> 00:12:18,208
What is your profession?
128
00:12:20,291 --> 00:12:23,041
CIA agent? What is the CIA?
129
00:12:35,500 --> 00:12:37,541
I am a secret service agent,
130
00:12:37,750 --> 00:12:41,250
and if you want, you can find
my name in the Yellow Pages.
131
00:12:50,125 --> 00:12:55,916
It's a dismantled rifle
that you will rapidly re-assemble.
132
00:12:59,708 --> 00:13:02,083
Yes. Let's go out on the balcony.
133
00:13:11,916 --> 00:13:15,958
Through this scope,
I see the embassy entrance.
134
00:13:16,166 --> 00:13:19,750
There is a limousine
waiting outside the embassy.
135
00:13:22,625 --> 00:13:26,541
I see a black dignitary
coming out of the embassy.
136
00:13:50,166 --> 00:13:54,958
I'm leaving. I don't need
your spacious room anymore.
137
00:13:59,375 --> 00:14:03,916
- Why do you want to shoot me?
- I am a DIA secret service agent.
138
00:14:06,750 --> 00:14:08,875
It's more powerful than the CIA.
139
00:14:36,791 --> 00:14:38,791
I am practically dead.
140
00:14:39,000 --> 00:14:41,958
My name will be cancelled
from the Yellow Pages,
141
00:14:42,166 --> 00:14:46,125
but don't forget to consult
the Yellow Pages
142
00:14:46,333 --> 00:14:48,666
where you will find the name
143
00:14:48,875 --> 00:14:51,958
of this very efficient...
144
00:14:57,916 --> 00:15:03,583
Dear tv viewers,
we will now broadcast, "The Bomb".
145
00:16:13,666 --> 00:16:16,000
A group of Fascists beat me up!
146
00:16:16,250 --> 00:16:20,208
Did you come to turn yourself in?
Second floor, the door in front.
147
00:16:26,291 --> 00:16:28,666
- Excuse me.
- All those...
148
00:16:36,416 --> 00:16:39,416
- Get in line!
- What did he say?
149
00:16:41,583 --> 00:16:44,708
- Nocella, do you hear me?
- Yes, Chief.
150
00:16:44,958 --> 00:16:47,750
Bring us a dictionary
containing the word "derivative".
151
00:16:47,958 --> 00:16:50,958
- It's pronounced "derivative".
- It's pronounced "dèrivative".
152
00:16:51,166 --> 00:16:53,166
- Hurry.
- Yes, sir.
153
00:16:53,416 --> 00:16:57,583
Derivative or dèrivative.
154
00:16:58,375 --> 00:17:01,250
Derivative or dèrivative.
155
00:17:01,500 --> 00:17:06,083
Derivative or dèrivative.
156
00:17:12,291 --> 00:17:14,500
Derivative.
157
00:17:48,833 --> 00:17:51,750
What are you looking at?
Don't you see it's stopped?
158
00:17:51,958 --> 00:17:54,875
If so, why's it going "tick tock"?
159
00:17:56,291 --> 00:17:57,958
Tick tock?
160
00:18:02,708 --> 00:18:07,416
We must see where it's coming from.
Go inspect the basements.
161
00:18:21,083 --> 00:18:23,833
Brigadier, you scared us.
162
00:18:26,333 --> 00:18:29,333
- Why?
- We heard a noise...
163
00:18:36,583 --> 00:18:38,958
What is this tick-tock?
164
00:18:42,375 --> 00:18:46,333
It's the sink leaking.
I'll have to fix it one day.
165
00:18:53,291 --> 00:18:54,916
Come in!
166
00:18:57,958 --> 00:19:00,041
Nocella, did you bring
the dictionary?
167
00:19:00,291 --> 00:19:02,750
I didn't have time to get it
168
00:19:03,000 --> 00:19:06,250
because of a serious problem
that arose. Shall I tell you?
169
00:19:06,500 --> 00:19:10,208
- Tell me!
- I was looking for the dictionary.
170
00:19:10,416 --> 00:19:13,958
I heard a "tick-tock"
that I couldn't understand.
171
00:19:14,166 --> 00:19:16,708
We don't know what it was.
172
00:19:16,958 --> 00:19:18,666
- A clock.
- No.
173
00:19:18,916 --> 00:19:21,166
We all thought
174
00:19:21,375 --> 00:19:25,166
that it could be a two syllable word.
175
00:19:25,416 --> 00:19:28,541
- I am listening.
- A bomb.
176
00:19:28,791 --> 00:19:31,750
Don't make me laugh.
177
00:19:32,000 --> 00:19:36,041
- If you listen...
- We won't listen to bullshit!
178
00:19:36,250 --> 00:19:39,541
Silence! Don't get nervous!
179
00:19:51,416 --> 00:19:54,333
It is an explosive device.
180
00:19:55,750 --> 00:19:59,000
Vacate the building from civilians.
Stop.
181
00:19:59,250 --> 00:20:01,916
At the same time,
officers and troops,
182
00:20:02,125 --> 00:20:05,875
evacuate the premises
and take away important papers,
183
00:20:06,083 --> 00:20:08,666
top secret documents,
false balance sheets,
184
00:20:08,875 --> 00:20:11,458
phone interception tapes,
185
00:20:11,666 --> 00:20:15,375
pack animals and pointing animals,
light and heavy weapons,
186
00:20:15,583 --> 00:20:17,625
and all that deals with them.
Stop.
187
00:20:17,833 --> 00:20:20,125
Advise the chief of police.
188
00:20:20,333 --> 00:20:23,291
Password, "Every man for himself".
Stop.
189
00:20:23,541 --> 00:20:27,958
Gathering at the cafe out front.
Go!
190
00:20:43,041 --> 00:20:46,125
Ready. One, two, three.
191
00:20:48,083 --> 00:20:51,625
Load the materials.
To your places, Isolation Section.
192
00:20:51,833 --> 00:20:54,416
Don't get in the way.
193
00:20:54,625 --> 00:20:57,666
Get tighter! Wake up!
194
00:21:05,083 --> 00:21:08,625
Captain La Pattuglia. 6 minutes
and 30 seconds from the call.
195
00:21:08,833 --> 00:21:11,375
An absolute record.
I follow orders.
196
00:21:11,583 --> 00:21:15,875
- Where is the bomb?
- It should be in the police station.
197
00:21:16,125 --> 00:21:18,125
What was this tick-tock like?
198
00:21:18,333 --> 00:21:21,791
- I need precise data.
- Brigadier Negatto.
199
00:21:22,000 --> 00:21:25,916
I think that rather than a tick-tock,
it was a tick-tack.
200
00:21:26,125 --> 00:21:30,875
Nocella. Excuse me, sir.
I heard it first.
201
00:21:31,125 --> 00:21:34,666
I am sure it was a tick-tock.
If anything, a tock-tock.
202
00:21:40,208 --> 00:21:43,333
This man speaks clearly!
Tick-tock.
203
00:21:43,541 --> 00:21:46,166
It must be a command with
an electromagnet timer,
204
00:21:46,375 --> 00:21:51,041
model PTM, set up on a bomb
with a high potential.
205
00:21:53,083 --> 00:21:55,125
Commander,
have the latecomers evacuate
206
00:21:55,375 --> 00:21:58,166
from their homes
in a radius of 800 meters.
207
00:21:58,375 --> 00:22:01,125
Fire Prevention Service,
ready to intervene?
208
00:22:01,333 --> 00:22:03,500
Always ready!
209
00:22:05,000 --> 00:22:06,833
Boys.
210
00:22:07,083 --> 00:22:08,583
Boys!
211
00:22:08,791 --> 00:22:11,291
Gather together!
212
00:22:12,833 --> 00:22:16,458
This is Carlo Maddaloni speaking.
We have reached
213
00:22:16,666 --> 00:22:20,916
the more advanced positions
allowed by the Police Force.
214
00:22:21,125 --> 00:22:24,708
We are a few meters
from Captain La Pattuglia,
215
00:22:24,916 --> 00:22:26,916
the bomb technician.
216
00:22:27,125 --> 00:22:29,541
He is about to choose among
his boys, who will stop
217
00:22:29,750 --> 00:22:32,958
the bomb from exploding and
causing incalculable consequences.
218
00:22:33,208 --> 00:22:35,875
For Lampaccioni who is the smallest.
219
00:22:36,833 --> 00:22:39,708
4 and 3, 7, 12, 18,
220
00:22:39,916 --> 00:22:42,375
21, 26, 29, 33...
221
00:22:42,625 --> 00:22:47,875
Quickly leave the houses
near the police station.
222
00:22:48,083 --> 00:22:53,583
We suggest you take
valuable objects with you.
223
00:22:58,958 --> 00:23:01,708
39, 40... 141!
224
00:23:02,958 --> 00:23:06,166
Tirabucchi, always lucky!
It's your turn.
225
00:23:06,416 --> 00:23:10,916
- Aren't you proud?
- I am, but I have a wife.
226
00:23:11,166 --> 00:23:13,416
So what? Our motto is,
227
00:23:13,625 --> 00:23:16,291
"Who is stuck with the chestnut,
peels and eats it."
228
00:23:16,500 --> 00:23:18,625
- Tirabucchi, you'll eat it.
- Yes, sir.
229
00:23:18,875 --> 00:23:23,708
- The moment has come.
- Go. Your country is looking at you.
230
00:23:23,958 --> 00:23:26,541
While everyone is leaving
homes and belongings,
231
00:23:26,750 --> 00:23:29,500
a heroic bomb technician is entering
the mined construction.
232
00:23:29,708 --> 00:23:32,583
He is about to courageously enter.
233
00:23:32,791 --> 00:23:35,625
He's inside! May God help him.
234
00:23:35,833 --> 00:23:38,666
We have spotted Chief Pertinace
235
00:23:38,875 --> 00:23:43,375
whom we will ask
to explain the situation.
236
00:23:43,583 --> 00:23:46,500
Chief, we're from the tv news.
Tell us. Give me the ice cream.
237
00:23:46,708 --> 00:23:48,666
Speak. The camera is here.
238
00:23:48,875 --> 00:23:51,458
Since the investigation
is a delicate one,
239
00:23:51,666 --> 00:23:56,041
and I am responsible for questioning,
acquisition of revealing elements,
240
00:23:56,250 --> 00:23:58,958
I am obliged...
- The chief of police is here!
241
00:23:59,166 --> 00:24:01,375
The chief of police is here!
242
00:24:03,666 --> 00:24:05,666
Attention!
243
00:24:06,750 --> 00:24:11,708
As chief of the forces
of freedom and democracy,
244
00:24:11,916 --> 00:24:17,041
what can you tell us about this bomb
that is threatening your lives?
245
00:24:17,250 --> 00:24:21,333
This subversive bomb, in other
regimes would've been kept a secret.
246
00:24:21,541 --> 00:24:24,416
But on the contrary,
we inform the people about it.
247
00:24:24,625 --> 00:24:26,875
In what sense?
248
00:24:27,083 --> 00:24:30,666
The bomb re-proposes
to the upright population
249
00:24:30,875 --> 00:24:34,583
the legitimate necessity
for a healthy repressive action.
250
00:24:34,791 --> 00:24:37,625
Red Brigades or other colors,
subversives of all kinds,
251
00:24:37,833 --> 00:24:39,833
I see you and feel sorry for you.
252
00:24:40,041 --> 00:24:43,208
Chief Pertinace,
consider yourself praised.
253
00:24:43,416 --> 00:24:45,916
Chief, do you want to say something?
254
00:24:46,125 --> 00:24:49,666
- I am deeply thankful.
- We thank the chief...
255
00:24:49,875 --> 00:24:52,000
Sit here.
256
00:24:52,208 --> 00:24:55,666
Chief, we have a small problem.
257
00:24:55,875 --> 00:24:59,166
What?
What is going on?
258
00:24:59,875 --> 00:25:02,125
Chief, thank you and excuse me.
259
00:25:02,333 --> 00:25:04,375
Lick it, Chief.
260
00:25:04,625 --> 00:25:07,416
Tirabucchi, do you hear me?
Position!
261
00:25:07,666 --> 00:25:10,291
- Over.
- I am in the bathroom corridor.
262
00:25:10,500 --> 00:25:14,958
Keep going. Follow the tick-tack
wherever it takes you.
263
00:25:15,166 --> 00:25:17,500
The country is with you.
264
00:25:17,708 --> 00:25:21,041
Inform me. What do you sense?
265
00:25:21,250 --> 00:25:24,041
I just sense
different sorts of odor, Captain.
266
00:25:24,250 --> 00:25:28,000
- Is the detector reacting?
- No, but I am.
267
00:25:28,250 --> 00:25:32,125
For us, whether this bomb
explodes or not,
268
00:25:32,333 --> 00:25:35,416
it's our bread, gold, incense, myrrh.
269
00:25:35,625 --> 00:25:39,125
- This way.
- Help! Get me out!
270
00:25:39,333 --> 00:25:42,333
- What is his problem?
- He's the accountant.
271
00:25:42,541 --> 00:25:44,708
He is very agitated today.
272
00:25:44,916 --> 00:25:47,333
Maybe he senses the danger.
273
00:25:47,541 --> 00:25:50,166
- Who?
- Accountant Pandolfini.
274
00:25:50,375 --> 00:25:52,625
Are you still keeping
under momentary arrest
275
00:25:52,833 --> 00:25:55,375
accountant Pandolfini
who was arrested 3 years ago
276
00:25:55,583 --> 00:25:58,375
for having told a police officer,
"Don't bust my balls"?
277
00:25:58,583 --> 00:26:03,625
Yes, unfortunately, since
the arrest deadline had expired.
278
00:26:03,875 --> 00:26:07,208
You let 3 years go by!
Have him released immediately.
279
00:26:07,416 --> 00:26:10,208
Do so secretly through the back door.
280
00:26:10,416 --> 00:26:12,250
How can we do that?
281
00:26:12,458 --> 00:26:16,166
After 3 years he's very pissed off
and would cause a scandal.
282
00:26:18,666 --> 00:26:21,791
Tirabucchi, where are you?
283
00:26:22,000 --> 00:26:26,791
- I am on the target.
- Good for you!
284
00:26:28,250 --> 00:26:32,875
Caution. Give me the details.
but don't expose yourself.
285
00:26:33,791 --> 00:26:36,000
What form does it have?
286
00:26:36,208 --> 00:26:38,208
The characteristics.
287
00:26:44,416 --> 00:26:47,166
If the bomb doesn't explode,
the accountant problem remains.
288
00:26:47,375 --> 00:26:49,583
But if it explodes,
we'll get rid of him.
289
00:26:49,791 --> 00:26:51,916
- I wish!
- May his soul rest in peace.
290
00:26:52,125 --> 00:26:54,625
- Where is this girl going?
- To the station.
291
00:26:54,875 --> 00:26:59,958
- Why are you going there?
- To get back the bag I left there.
292
00:27:00,166 --> 00:27:04,833
There are groceries
and a new clock inside...
293
00:27:05,083 --> 00:27:07,583
Hold her! Quickly!
294
00:27:07,791 --> 00:27:11,416
She is crazy!
Take her away immediately!
295
00:27:11,625 --> 00:27:15,416
Go! She is crazy!
Put her in the ambulance. Hurry!
296
00:27:15,666 --> 00:27:18,833
- What is going on?
- Nothing.
297
00:27:19,041 --> 00:27:22,166
- Can you tell us how things went?
- It's Tirabucchi's mother.
298
00:27:22,375 --> 00:27:25,958
Go! Go away!
299
00:27:26,166 --> 00:27:28,125
Go!
300
00:27:36,250 --> 00:27:40,333
Hello? Tirabucchi,
what are you doing?
301
00:27:41,625 --> 00:27:44,875
Found the bomb that isn't a bomb
but just a clock. Shall I come back?
302
00:27:45,125 --> 00:27:47,416
A clock?
Come back immediately!
303
00:27:47,625 --> 00:27:52,125
No! Don't move! I am the chief.
Tirabucchi, can you hear me?
304
00:27:52,333 --> 00:27:57,083
You didn't find the object
you told me about. Is that clear?
305
00:27:58,708 --> 00:28:01,791
- No? Is that clear?
- No.
306
00:28:02,000 --> 00:28:05,916
Say "yes", Tirabucchi.
Saying "yes" helps understand.
307
00:28:06,166 --> 00:28:08,250
Yes.
308
00:28:10,000 --> 00:28:14,125
- Tirabucchi, defuse!
- What?
309
00:28:14,333 --> 00:28:18,208
Remove the contact
from that damn bomb!
310
00:28:23,875 --> 00:28:26,208
Give it to me.
311
00:28:26,416 --> 00:28:29,208
I request a meeting
for clarifying the situation.
312
00:28:29,416 --> 00:28:31,833
- Meeting granted.
- Let's go to the cafe.
313
00:28:36,041 --> 00:28:39,166
You want to pass off a clock
for a bomb.
314
00:28:39,416 --> 00:28:42,750
But we bomb squad won't accept
this clown act.
315
00:28:42,958 --> 00:28:48,416
At least give us time to talk
to who is high up and get an excuse.
316
00:28:48,625 --> 00:28:52,291
We are all on the verge
of being ridiculous.
317
00:28:52,541 --> 00:28:55,541
You, not us.
I'll give you a half hour.
318
00:28:55,750 --> 00:28:58,125
I'll keep Tirabucchi inside there,
319
00:28:58,333 --> 00:29:01,000
but at 12:30
320
00:29:01,208 --> 00:29:04,500
I will let him out
with the clock around his neck.
321
00:29:04,750 --> 00:29:06,375
Gentlemen...
322
00:29:10,333 --> 00:29:13,458
Pertinace, in 10 minutes
at the usual secret place.
323
00:29:13,666 --> 00:29:16,291
- At the usual place...
- The secret one.
324
00:29:48,458 --> 00:29:50,500
- Chief.
- Present, Excellency.
325
00:29:50,750 --> 00:29:54,208
Fast ministry investigations,
Doxa, Argo, Demoscope,
326
00:29:54,416 --> 00:29:57,541
revealed that the popularity
of the Police Forces
327
00:29:57,750 --> 00:30:02,250
in the last 5 hours has risen to the
Sandokan level, thanks to the bomb.
328
00:30:02,500 --> 00:30:06,958
- We give thanks.
- Now we're on a launching runway
329
00:30:07,208 --> 00:30:11,500
towards new and useful orbits
of counter-opposed extremisms.
330
00:30:11,708 --> 00:30:14,958
- Therefore... You understood, huh?
- I understood "therefore".
331
00:30:15,208 --> 00:30:20,166
- The bomb must explode.
- What bomb? It's a clock.
332
00:30:20,416 --> 00:30:22,791
They'll think we're gay.
333
00:30:23,791 --> 00:30:27,500
You three are responsible
for carrying out the plan.
334
00:30:27,708 --> 00:30:30,625
- What plan?
- Listen to the bag.
335
00:30:34,500 --> 00:30:36,333
Clock or bomb?
336
00:30:36,583 --> 00:30:40,666
A bomb that I will synchronize
on my watch.
337
00:30:40,875 --> 00:30:44,750
From the expiration of La Pattuglia's
ultimatum, you have 30 minutes
338
00:30:45,000 --> 00:30:47,750
to secretly enter
the back door of the station,
339
00:30:47,958 --> 00:30:51,583
place the bomb on site
and nonchalantly leave.
340
00:30:51,833 --> 00:30:54,458
What a brilliant plan, Excellency!
341
00:30:54,708 --> 00:30:58,166
- I'll hear the explosion in the car.
- Thank you.
342
00:30:58,416 --> 00:31:01,041
La Pattuglia's ultimatum has expired.
343
00:31:01,250 --> 00:31:04,208
- We have a half hour.
- The way is clear.
344
00:31:12,083 --> 00:31:15,291
- From the water heater!
- Don't complain.
345
00:31:15,500 --> 00:31:18,458
In the winter, when the water
heater is on, it's worse.
346
00:31:18,708 --> 00:31:22,916
- Who is it? Open!
- He will stop suffering soon.
347
00:31:23,166 --> 00:31:27,375
If I can give my opinion,
this place is not good.
348
00:31:27,583 --> 00:31:31,333
People would wonder why
the bomb technician didn't see it.
349
00:31:31,541 --> 00:31:34,000
The more they look like idiots,
the better.
350
00:31:34,208 --> 00:31:38,791
That's true, but we have time
to find a more suited place.
351
00:31:41,333 --> 00:31:44,125
It's now 12:46.
352
00:31:49,250 --> 00:31:51,750
What? My watch
is 15 minutes slow.
353
00:32:43,500 --> 00:32:46,541
This is how, this is how...
354
00:32:46,750 --> 00:32:49,416
This is how it's done.
355
00:32:49,666 --> 00:32:55,333
This is how it's done. It's easy.
356
00:32:56,375 --> 00:32:59,458
This is how, this is how...
357
00:32:59,666 --> 00:33:02,291
This is how it's done.
358
00:33:02,541 --> 00:33:07,375
With your dad, life is all here.
359
00:33:08,458 --> 00:33:10,250
And now together.
360
00:33:10,458 --> 00:33:13,000
This is how, this is how...
361
00:33:13,208 --> 00:33:18,666
This is how it's done.
362
00:33:18,916 --> 00:33:23,833
He is a fortunate child because
he has a father who cares for him.
363
00:33:24,041 --> 00:33:27,416
A dad who has already taken
5 billion in Switzerland,
364
00:33:27,625 --> 00:33:30,666
and continues to take more,
a little at a time.
365
00:33:30,875 --> 00:33:33,875
That is what life is.
366
00:33:45,416 --> 00:33:47,916
Here, hold the bag.
367
00:33:52,791 --> 00:33:56,666
A city at the mirror,
a triptych on Naples.
368
00:34:05,458 --> 00:34:10,416
Holy Christmas is the celebration
of children and the family.
369
00:34:10,625 --> 00:34:14,208
So we must remind you
370
00:34:14,416 --> 00:34:17,416
that all those who today
are in favor
371
00:34:17,625 --> 00:34:21,833
of contraceptive practices,
are wrong.
372
00:34:22,041 --> 00:34:24,250
We are horrified in thinking that
373
00:34:24,458 --> 00:34:28,125
if certain practices that are favored
by some had spread,
374
00:34:28,333 --> 00:34:31,916
all you dear children,
blessed by God,
375
00:34:32,125 --> 00:34:34,625
wouldn't be here with us,
376
00:34:34,833 --> 00:34:37,916
with your bright intelligence,
377
00:34:38,125 --> 00:34:41,375
and your wonderful,
evangelical innocence
378
00:34:41,583 --> 00:34:45,458
that illuminates this place
with the light of God.
379
00:34:46,208 --> 00:34:51,333
You demonstrate that a human life
is a great and sacred gift.
380
00:34:51,541 --> 00:34:55,041
Since it's a serious
and thoughtless crime
381
00:34:55,250 --> 00:34:57,708
to kill a life
in a mother's womb,
382
00:34:58,666 --> 00:35:01,791
grow and multiply.
383
00:35:05,750 --> 00:35:07,958
The awards.
384
00:35:22,291 --> 00:35:24,583
- Yeah!
- Come.
385
00:35:25,750 --> 00:35:29,375
- He does not speak good Italian.
- He's the first of 9 children.
386
00:35:29,583 --> 00:35:32,583
His father is unemployed
and his mother is ill.
387
00:35:50,541 --> 00:35:52,625
Only 20 Liras!
388
00:35:52,916 --> 00:35:55,333
Get your hand ready!
389
00:35:55,583 --> 00:36:00,000
I have crumbs of pastries
and "sfogliatelle". 20 Liras!
390
00:36:00,250 --> 00:36:03,750
Today 20 Liras, not 10,
because the air is humid.
391
00:36:03,958 --> 00:36:06,500
So they are heavier.
392
00:36:15,083 --> 00:36:18,333
You show up now for work?
393
00:37:56,875 --> 00:38:00,958
Thief! Thief!
394
00:39:14,166 --> 00:39:16,041
Gennarino, you're here.
395
00:39:16,250 --> 00:39:18,625
I went through the tunnel
to get here earlier.
396
00:39:18,833 --> 00:39:21,958
- Who gave you these medals?
- The bishop.
397
00:39:22,208 --> 00:39:24,375
Did he come?
398
00:39:25,375 --> 00:39:27,666
What did he tell you?
399
00:39:27,875 --> 00:39:30,500
What did he tell me?
He said that...
400
00:39:30,708 --> 00:39:33,666
life is a gift from God.
401
00:39:34,958 --> 00:39:37,291
That abortion is a crime.
402
00:39:37,541 --> 00:39:39,916
He said, "Grow and multiply".
403
00:39:40,125 --> 00:39:43,833
My son, are you transfixed?
Hurry.
404
00:39:44,041 --> 00:39:46,041
Gennarino...
405
00:39:46,875 --> 00:39:49,500
Have you finished there?
406
00:39:50,625 --> 00:39:52,500
My gosh!
407
00:39:53,916 --> 00:39:56,500
Gennarino, have these children eat.
408
00:39:56,750 --> 00:39:59,041
Mom, I'm not hungry.
409
00:39:59,958 --> 00:40:03,708
- Give it to me!
- No, I don't want to.
410
00:40:03,916 --> 00:40:07,875
- Give it to me!
- No! I don't want to.
411
00:40:08,083 --> 00:40:10,000
- Give it to me!
- No!
412
00:40:10,208 --> 00:40:12,083
- Give it to me!
- No!
413
00:40:15,958 --> 00:40:18,875
Gennarino, it's 3 o'clock.
414
00:40:48,750 --> 00:40:51,916
Remember to get the laundry
on the balcony.
415
00:40:57,458 --> 00:41:00,041
No. I don't want to give it to you.
416
00:41:00,250 --> 00:41:02,083
- Give it to me!
- No!
417
00:41:02,291 --> 00:41:03,916
Give it to me!
418
00:41:19,875 --> 00:41:24,000
We are horrified in thinking that
if certain practices that are favored
419
00:41:24,250 --> 00:41:26,166
had spread,
420
00:41:26,416 --> 00:41:29,250
all of you dear children,
blessed by God,
421
00:41:29,500 --> 00:41:32,000
wouldn't be here in front of us.
422
00:41:32,208 --> 00:41:37,250
You demonstrate that a human life
is a great and sacred gift.
423
00:41:37,458 --> 00:41:41,041
Since it's a serious
and thoughtless crime
424
00:41:41,250 --> 00:41:44,375
to kill a life in a mother's womb,
425
00:41:44,583 --> 00:41:47,541
grow and multiply.
426
00:41:56,375 --> 00:41:59,791
The images we saw
clearly showed us
427
00:42:00,000 --> 00:42:04,333
that the big problem in the city
of Naples is that of infancy.
428
00:42:05,791 --> 00:42:08,291
Today, our guest at Studio 7
429
00:42:08,500 --> 00:42:11,416
is Professor Ludwig Joseph Schmidt,
430
00:42:11,625 --> 00:42:16,250
a scholar and expert in sociology
and demographic problems,
431
00:42:16,500 --> 00:42:18,583
from the University of California.
432
00:42:18,791 --> 00:42:23,625
What do you think about
the serious problem we examined?
433
00:42:23,833 --> 00:42:28,208
Thanks to my studies,
434
00:42:28,416 --> 00:42:31,125
I made a discovery.
435
00:42:31,333 --> 00:42:35,000
Do you know the famous book...
436
00:42:35,208 --> 00:42:38,166
Do you know "Gulliver's Travels"?
437
00:42:38,416 --> 00:42:40,958
- Yes.
- His name is Jonathan Swift.
438
00:42:41,166 --> 00:42:46,000
He was also a famous researcher
of Sociology,
439
00:42:46,208 --> 00:42:49,458
and the problems of over population.
440
00:42:49,666 --> 00:42:53,708
He wrote a very important book
that I have here.
441
00:42:53,916 --> 00:42:56,125
In chapter 2,
442
00:42:56,375 --> 00:42:59,083
there is a speech
443
00:42:59,291 --> 00:43:02,791
that he gave in 1729.
444
00:43:03,000 --> 00:43:05,500
Long before me.
445
00:43:05,750 --> 00:43:09,500
He gave it at
the London English Parliament.
446
00:43:09,708 --> 00:43:12,916
And he "proses"...
How do you say it in Italian?
447
00:43:13,166 --> 00:43:14,875
- Proposes?
- Yes.
448
00:43:15,125 --> 00:43:18,625
In 1729, in the city of Dublin,
449
00:43:18,833 --> 00:43:23,333
there were the same conditions
as the children of Naples today.
450
00:43:23,541 --> 00:43:27,500
He says exactly here...
451
00:43:27,708 --> 00:43:31,000
He proposes
that all the children of Ireland
452
00:43:31,208 --> 00:43:35,166
must remain alive
until they are one year old.
453
00:43:35,416 --> 00:43:39,166
- And then?
- It's simple.
454
00:43:39,375 --> 00:43:43,416
After a year, these children
455
00:43:43,625 --> 00:43:47,500
are taken from their families
and put in a...
456
00:43:47,750 --> 00:43:52,208
One of those big fenced-in areas
with barbed wire
457
00:43:52,416 --> 00:43:55,291
because those little animals...
458
00:43:55,500 --> 00:43:59,375
I mean, these children
could run away.
459
00:43:59,583 --> 00:44:04,583
They are given a lot to eat
and are fattened.
460
00:44:04,791 --> 00:44:07,708
Then the most attractive,
the biggest, are taken.
461
00:44:07,916 --> 00:44:12,833
At this point there are various
solutions. They can be boiled.
462
00:44:13,083 --> 00:44:16,875
They are eaten with oil and lemon,
pepper and salt.
463
00:44:17,083 --> 00:44:21,541
Or cooked on the grill, alive.
464
00:44:21,750 --> 00:44:25,791
I like that a lot, but they scream
when they're put on the grill.
465
00:44:26,000 --> 00:44:30,250
Or, if you have time,
but you need a lot of patience...
466
00:44:30,458 --> 00:44:35,291
They are taken
and put in a vinegar bath.
467
00:44:35,500 --> 00:44:39,500
You can add wine, rosemary,
468
00:44:39,708 --> 00:44:41,875
nutmeg, clove...
469
00:44:42,125 --> 00:44:44,041
- Thyme.
- Yes.
470
00:44:44,291 --> 00:44:49,333
This recipe is called
"alla cacciatora".
471
00:44:49,583 --> 00:44:52,750
I don't know if I understood.
472
00:44:52,958 --> 00:44:55,750
You are proposing
to eat the children?
473
00:44:56,000 --> 00:44:58,875
Not all of them!
Only the poor ones
474
00:44:59,083 --> 00:45:04,250
which are 85% of
the population in the city of Naples.
475
00:45:04,500 --> 00:45:06,416
That way the problem will be solved.
476
00:45:06,666 --> 00:45:10,208
The very serious problem on abortion
which people talk so much about.
477
00:45:10,416 --> 00:45:15,958
There's no need to have an abortion.
You just boil the child.
478
00:45:16,166 --> 00:45:19,291
Another problem
is that of abandoned children.
479
00:45:19,500 --> 00:45:22,750
They don't need to be abandoned,
you cook them "alla cacciatora".
480
00:45:23,000 --> 00:45:25,916
Furthermore, Naples would become
an industrial city
481
00:45:26,125 --> 00:45:29,916
because you can freeze
these children
482
00:45:30,125 --> 00:45:33,791
and they can be exported.
Frozen children are much in demand.
483
00:45:34,000 --> 00:45:37,333
Or they can be canned.
484
00:45:37,541 --> 00:45:41,000
But you must not....
How do you say it? Gyp?
485
00:45:41,208 --> 00:45:43,583
- Yes, gyp.
- You must not gyp people.
486
00:45:43,791 --> 00:45:47,000
If you write... as many
Neapolitans do... "children."
487
00:45:47,208 --> 00:45:50,541
You can't put cats or mice inside.
488
00:45:50,750 --> 00:45:53,666
Those things they do in Naples.
You must put children inside.
489
00:45:53,916 --> 00:45:55,166
Understand?
490
00:45:58,916 --> 00:46:02,958
We thank Professor Schmidt
and go back to our central studio.
491
00:46:03,208 --> 00:46:06,250
I was wondering where
I saw you, and now I know.
492
00:46:06,500 --> 00:46:09,500
Did you see that film, "Adele H"?
493
00:46:09,708 --> 00:46:11,541
Yes, a couple of days ago.
494
00:46:11,750 --> 00:46:15,958
You look like the French actress.
495
00:46:16,166 --> 00:46:19,750
- What is her name?
- Isabelle Adjani.
496
00:46:19,958 --> 00:46:21,625
- Right!
- No!
497
00:46:21,833 --> 00:46:26,041
I don't mean to compliment you,
but you seem so...
498
00:46:26,250 --> 00:46:28,583
No. She is so beautiful!
499
00:46:28,791 --> 00:46:31,666
Are you ugly?
No, you're very pretty.
500
00:46:31,875 --> 00:46:34,291
- Thank you.
- I think you're even prettier.
501
00:46:34,500 --> 00:46:36,333
Excuse me. Here.
502
00:46:37,875 --> 00:46:39,541
Yes?
503
00:46:40,291 --> 00:46:42,083
Alright.
504
00:46:46,708 --> 00:46:50,541
We have invited to our studio
four authoritative executives
505
00:46:50,750 --> 00:46:54,833
of the preceding administrations
of the city of Naples,
506
00:46:55,041 --> 00:47:00,000
who will answer our tv viewers
who during this encounter
507
00:47:00,208 --> 00:47:04,333
will ask their questions
and give opinions on the phone.
508
00:47:04,541 --> 00:47:08,625
The honorable Lo Bove,
the honorable Lo Bove...
509
00:47:08,833 --> 00:47:11,166
I am innocent!
510
00:47:11,375 --> 00:47:15,625
The honorable Lo Bove
and the honorable Lo Bove.
511
00:47:16,958 --> 00:47:19,583
Brothers, I imagine.
512
00:47:19,791 --> 00:47:22,666
- Relatives?
- Of course not.
513
00:47:22,875 --> 00:47:25,916
- Oh, no!
- We've never met each other.
514
00:47:26,125 --> 00:47:28,666
- Isn't that true?
- Never, Dad.
515
00:47:30,791 --> 00:47:35,625
Naples, one of the cities
that is most dear to the Italians,
516
00:47:35,833 --> 00:47:39,583
up until today has had
a series of poor governments,
517
00:47:39,791 --> 00:47:42,291
serious deficit
in the municipal balance sheets.
518
00:47:42,500 --> 00:47:47,000
The number of unemployed has
been higher than that of the citizens.
519
00:47:47,208 --> 00:47:50,458
Broken down roads,
buildings ruined by landslides,
520
00:47:50,666 --> 00:47:55,708
the historical center invaded by mice,
it is almost the year 1,000.
521
00:47:55,916 --> 00:47:58,958
Gentlemen...
what have you done to Naples?
522
00:47:59,166 --> 00:48:03,708
- How did you get to this point?
- I want to say this right away.
523
00:48:03,916 --> 00:48:07,708
I publicly thank our bulwark party,
524
00:48:07,916 --> 00:48:12,583
Superintendence and Regional Protection,
525
00:48:12,833 --> 00:48:15,625
another supervision
of Naples Democracy.
526
00:48:15,833 --> 00:48:18,333
Naples is beautiful.
So beautiful!
527
00:48:18,541 --> 00:48:22,125
It's in my heart!
Children, near and far...
528
00:48:22,333 --> 00:48:24,916
Thank you, thank you so much!
529
00:48:25,166 --> 00:48:27,333
Thank you, Honorable Lo Bove.
530
00:48:27,541 --> 00:48:29,625
And now you, Honorable Lo Bove.
531
00:48:29,875 --> 00:48:34,458
I'd like to add the honesty
that we have shown
532
00:48:34,666 --> 00:48:38,541
towards the population,
with the population,
533
00:48:38,791 --> 00:48:42,416
together with the population,
inside the population,
534
00:48:42,625 --> 00:48:45,375
up the population's ass!
- Thank you, Honorable Lo Bove.
535
00:48:45,625 --> 00:48:47,625
And now you, Honorable Lo Bove.
536
00:48:47,875 --> 00:48:51,000
My illustrious predecessor
who has just spoken
537
00:48:51,208 --> 00:48:54,250
was talking about
the inter-penetration
538
00:48:54,458 --> 00:48:57,291
of the problems of Town Hall
539
00:48:57,541 --> 00:49:01,416
that thanks to our efforts,
is always alert.
540
00:49:01,625 --> 00:49:04,500
We "was" always against...
541
00:49:04,708 --> 00:49:08,750
Like a bulwark
against the red voters,
542
00:49:08,958 --> 00:49:14,000
who like tigers
want to take over our city
543
00:49:14,250 --> 00:49:19,666
and ruin this celestial gulf
designed by the hand of God.
544
00:49:19,875 --> 00:49:21,875
Excuse me.
545
00:49:22,875 --> 00:49:25,375
- Transcription of the phone calls.
- Alright.
546
00:49:25,583 --> 00:49:28,875
- Let's hear what they say.
- Thank you.
547
00:49:29,083 --> 00:49:31,458
May we answer?
548
00:49:31,666 --> 00:49:36,708
The first. "I'd like to know
why these four sons of..."
549
00:49:36,916 --> 00:49:39,250
We're off to a good start!
550
00:49:41,875 --> 00:49:46,791
- They are all bad words.
- We omitted the worst ones.
551
00:49:47,000 --> 00:49:48,666
Thank you, dear.
552
00:49:51,458 --> 00:49:55,125
I will try to synthesize...
553
00:49:57,583 --> 00:49:59,000
But...
554
00:49:59,208 --> 00:50:02,500
I will try to synthesize
555
00:50:02,708 --> 00:50:05,083
the spirit of these phone calls.
556
00:50:05,291 --> 00:50:07,625
In short, they are asking
557
00:50:07,833 --> 00:50:11,500
why Naples for many years has been
left in the hands of four scoundrels.
558
00:50:11,708 --> 00:50:14,625
- This is the word I find here.
- It doesn't matter.
559
00:50:14,833 --> 00:50:18,625
They exploited the city
and took over all the key positions.
560
00:50:18,833 --> 00:50:21,625
All the key positions for swindling.
561
00:50:21,833 --> 00:50:24,416
- Is that what's written?
- No, I added it.
562
00:50:24,625 --> 00:50:26,875
It fits in perfectly!
563
00:50:27,125 --> 00:50:30,250
How could these "gluttons" ignore
564
00:50:30,500 --> 00:50:32,916
the growing civil attitude
of the population
565
00:50:33,125 --> 00:50:37,125
and the demographic lesson of other
cities, especially in the north,
566
00:50:37,333 --> 00:50:40,250
that had changed
to different administrations?
567
00:50:40,458 --> 00:50:45,041
Are you degrading Naples
to the level of Pisa and Bologna?
568
00:50:45,250 --> 00:50:49,291
What region, what nation
has such a beautiful sun,
569
00:50:49,500 --> 00:50:53,208
such a blue sea,
such a pleasant sky?
570
00:50:53,458 --> 00:50:55,458
Men of Naples,
571
00:50:55,666 --> 00:50:58,291
do you want to degrade yourselves
572
00:50:58,500 --> 00:51:02,083
in working 10 hours a day
like animals,
573
00:51:02,625 --> 00:51:06,375
and permanently leaving
your unemployment status?
574
00:51:06,583 --> 00:51:10,166
Right! Woman of Naples, do you want
to degrade yourselves too?
575
00:51:10,375 --> 00:51:12,833
No longer feminine, but feminists!
576
00:51:13,083 --> 00:51:15,583
No longer madams, but sluts!
577
00:51:15,791 --> 00:51:18,958
No longer ladies, but hickies!
578
00:51:20,500 --> 00:51:23,708
- Naples is a heart shaped city.
- Naples is a pastry.
579
00:51:23,916 --> 00:51:26,125
- A butterfly.
- A "babà" cake.
580
00:51:26,375 --> 00:51:29,666
Only we know how
to appreciate our city.
581
00:51:29,916 --> 00:51:33,416
- Give us back the majority.
- An absolute majority.
582
00:51:33,666 --> 00:51:36,083
Give us back the town hall square.
583
00:51:36,333 --> 00:51:39,791
- Give us back the municipality.
- Give us back Porta Capuana.
584
00:51:41,916 --> 00:51:44,416
- Give us back Piazza Dante.
- Send them!
585
00:51:44,666 --> 00:51:49,125
Behave. Sit back down.
586
00:51:49,375 --> 00:51:51,583
This is a live program.
Gentlemen!
587
00:51:51,833 --> 00:51:56,083
Damn you! Hey!
588
00:51:58,458 --> 00:52:03,000
Ladies and gentlemen,
our debate
589
00:52:03,208 --> 00:52:06,625
"Naples, from sick patient
to convalescent" ends here.
590
00:52:06,833 --> 00:52:08,791
Darn it!
591
00:52:10,541 --> 00:52:12,458
Phone tokens and portable radios.
592
00:52:12,708 --> 00:52:15,291
Send us everything!
593
00:52:15,500 --> 00:52:18,958
This evening "Studio Aperto"
has lasted more than usual
594
00:52:19,166 --> 00:52:21,166
because the topic was
of great interest.
595
00:52:21,375 --> 00:52:23,375
In fact, it is now...
596
00:52:24,041 --> 00:52:27,041
My watch... My watch!
597
00:52:28,333 --> 00:52:30,958
Honorables, give me back my watch.
598
00:52:31,208 --> 00:52:34,125
- What watch?
- Do you think we're thieves?
599
00:52:34,375 --> 00:52:38,583
Darn! Do you realize it?
They had taken my watch.
600
00:52:38,791 --> 00:52:42,833
- We'll never set foot here again!
- Thank you.
601
00:52:52,375 --> 00:52:56,333
We apologize for the brief,
personal interruption.
602
00:52:58,125 --> 00:53:01,250
After "Studio Aperto",
for coverage on current topics
603
00:53:01,458 --> 00:53:04,250
we will join
our mobile cameras
604
00:53:04,458 --> 00:53:06,875
for the filming
of the military parade
605
00:53:07,083 --> 00:53:11,375
during the usual
NATO manifestations.
606
00:53:23,958 --> 00:53:27,291
Commander of the 3rd column,
go to your position immediately
607
00:53:27,541 --> 00:53:30,041
for the parade.
- Where is the general?
608
00:53:30,291 --> 00:53:33,541
He was running towards the station,
red in the face.
609
00:55:18,000 --> 00:55:22,500
The 3rd column must get ready
for the parade.
610
00:55:30,875 --> 00:55:32,500
General!
611
00:55:33,875 --> 00:55:35,833
General!
612
00:55:37,041 --> 00:55:41,000
The column is ready for the parade.
It's our turn, and we're late.
613
00:57:21,625 --> 00:57:24,291
General,
we can't wait any longer.
614
00:57:24,500 --> 00:57:26,583
We are obliged...
615
00:58:38,416 --> 00:58:40,416
Here, boy.
616
00:58:46,750 --> 00:58:50,708
Yes? What's wrong with it?
617
00:58:51,625 --> 00:58:53,250
Alright.
618
00:59:00,583 --> 00:59:03,500
So... Where did it go?
619
00:59:03,708 --> 00:59:06,041
Did you look here?
620
00:59:06,250 --> 00:59:09,375
- Is it this one?
- No. I already read this one.
621
00:59:09,583 --> 00:59:13,916
It's news from Pisa.
These sheets are all the same!
622
00:59:23,166 --> 00:59:25,000
Is it this one?
623
00:59:29,208 --> 00:59:31,208
You read it.
624
00:59:31,416 --> 00:59:33,291
Come on!
625
00:59:33,500 --> 00:59:35,125
Come here.
626
00:59:38,458 --> 00:59:42,625
"Pisa. A group of researchers,
after years of attentive study..."
627
00:59:44,250 --> 00:59:47,791
"was able to isolate
the virus of corruption
628
00:59:48,000 --> 00:59:52,000
of which we show some examples that
are greatly enlarged. The virus..."
629
01:00:04,625 --> 01:00:08,333
"The virus is transmitted
with a simple wink."
630
01:00:08,541 --> 01:00:11,291
"The virulogists
have managed to create.."
631
01:00:11,500 --> 01:00:14,833
- Virologists.
- "The virologists have managed
632
01:00:15,041 --> 01:00:18,583
to create a vaccine..."
- Good job!
633
01:00:19,916 --> 01:00:23,208
Come on! Go on!
634
01:00:23,458 --> 01:00:25,875
Now go away
or they'll kick us out.
635
01:00:26,125 --> 01:00:29,666
The Ministry of Health
has forbidden the sale in Italy
636
01:00:29,875 --> 01:00:32,916
of the vaccine that immunizes
from corruption,
637
01:00:33,125 --> 01:00:35,875
in order to avoid the total paralysis
638
01:00:36,083 --> 01:00:39,583
of many business sectors
in our country.
639
01:00:41,541 --> 01:00:44,416
And now, news from Rome.
640
01:00:44,625 --> 01:00:48,458
The general assessor ordered
the immediate demolition
641
01:00:49,541 --> 01:00:54,541
of a ruined Roman temple
of the 4th century before Christ
642
01:00:54,750 --> 01:00:57,541
that was illegally situated
643
01:00:57,750 --> 01:01:02,041
in front of the villa belonging
to real-estate entrepreneur Macazzi,
644
01:01:02,291 --> 01:01:05,000
because it upset its harmony.
645
01:01:06,416 --> 01:01:08,250
In concluding...
646
01:01:08,458 --> 01:01:12,916
On the age-old topic
of exploitation of child labor,
647
01:01:13,125 --> 01:01:15,416
a coverage...
648
01:01:15,625 --> 01:01:18,250
in a mechanic's shop
in the capital city.
649
01:01:27,208 --> 01:01:29,750
We have come to
a Roman mechanic's shop
650
01:01:29,958 --> 01:01:34,041
where, among the workers,
there are three minors.
651
01:01:36,458 --> 01:01:39,541
- How old are you?
- 13.
652
01:01:43,375 --> 01:01:46,375
- How old are you?
- 12.
653
01:01:52,500 --> 01:01:55,041
And how old are you?
654
01:01:55,250 --> 01:01:58,000
48. I have a wife and children.
655
01:01:58,208 --> 01:02:02,625
After 8 months of unemployment,
I managed to find a job
656
01:02:02,833 --> 01:02:05,083
only disguised as a child.
657
01:02:05,333 --> 01:02:07,333
What inconveniences do you face?
658
01:02:07,541 --> 01:02:10,250
At noon I have to eat bread
and chocolate spread.
659
01:02:10,458 --> 01:02:15,125
And I must shave every 3 hours
or I'll get caught!
660
01:02:31,916 --> 01:02:33,541
Yes.
661
01:02:35,541 --> 01:02:39,000
"Johannesburg.
The American Secretary of State
662
01:02:39,208 --> 01:02:41,208
met with the prime minister...
663
01:02:43,791 --> 01:02:48,333
With South African prime minister,
head of a segregationist government,
664
01:02:48,541 --> 01:02:51,208
for a lunch based on blacks."
665
01:02:51,916 --> 01:02:54,458
No! The topic of the discussion
666
01:02:54,666 --> 01:02:57,708
was the blacks and their
emancipation. Good evening.
667
01:02:58,416 --> 01:02:59,833
You're a jerk!
668
01:03:02,166 --> 01:03:06,375
And now, a program for farmers...
669
01:03:06,583 --> 01:03:08,833
For buyers...
670
01:03:09,041 --> 01:03:11,125
For youngsters,
671
01:03:11,333 --> 01:03:15,500
where we present a project...
672
01:03:16,750 --> 01:03:20,250
Where there is a project
for a program...
673
01:03:20,458 --> 01:03:22,291
For those
674
01:03:23,416 --> 01:03:25,708
who are deaf...
675
01:03:25,916 --> 01:03:28,791
For those who are religious...
676
01:03:29,958 --> 01:03:32,166
For those...
677
01:03:33,375 --> 01:03:36,000
Television for youngsters,
a program for the tots.
678
01:03:40,458 --> 01:03:44,625
The adventure begins here,
and continues until it ends,
679
01:03:44,833 --> 01:03:48,333
about Inspector Upright
who doesn't bend and doesn't break.
680
01:03:48,541 --> 01:03:53,083
Whatever you think about him,
he's better than 007.
681
01:03:57,625 --> 01:04:01,375
Inspector Upright,
who doesn't bend and doesn’t break,
682
01:04:01,583 --> 01:04:05,166
tonight is going on a mission
at the villa of scoundrel.
683
01:04:05,375 --> 01:04:07,166
Big stuff today!
684
01:04:07,375 --> 01:04:09,500
Who is it? What do you want?
685
01:04:09,708 --> 01:04:12,583
The police. We have a warrant.
686
01:04:17,208 --> 01:04:21,916
You stay here, you go in the back.
He is dangerous. Watch out.
687
01:04:22,166 --> 01:04:24,625
He cautiously approaches,
688
01:04:24,875 --> 01:04:26,875
as silent as a cat.
689
01:04:27,083 --> 01:04:29,583
With the glance of a lynx,
he is convinced
690
01:04:29,791 --> 01:04:32,708
that his job has brought him
to high society.
691
01:04:32,958 --> 01:04:36,791
Upright says,
"Hey! Did he do it to me"?
692
01:04:37,041 --> 01:04:40,833
Mr. Palese. Don't say he isn't here.
I know very well he is.
693
01:04:41,041 --> 01:04:44,541
- The house is surrounded.
- Come in, please.
694
01:04:44,791 --> 01:04:48,416
Upright breaks into
the scoundrel's house.
695
01:04:48,666 --> 01:04:52,041
He knows that his job
is to be a party pooper.
696
01:04:52,250 --> 01:04:55,166
Unfortunately, it is his job
to ruin situations.
697
01:04:55,375 --> 01:04:57,541
Dearest!
698
01:04:57,750 --> 01:05:00,500
- Mr. Palese?
- I am he.
699
01:05:00,750 --> 01:05:04,625
This is about the bribe money
on the nuclear plants
700
01:05:04,875 --> 01:05:06,750
that you pocketed.
701
01:05:06,958 --> 01:05:09,708
I know everything.
Go ahead and do your duty.
702
01:05:09,958 --> 01:05:13,750
Gustavo! I need a suitcase
with a changes of clothes.
703
01:05:14,000 --> 01:05:17,541
- Right now?
- Yes! A very big suitcase.
704
01:05:17,750 --> 01:05:21,083
Did you hear? Don't waste time.
Give it to me.
705
01:05:22,375 --> 01:05:24,708
- Drink a drop of champagne.
- No, never on duty.
706
01:05:24,916 --> 01:05:27,916
- Come on...
- Vladimiro! What are you doing?
707
01:05:28,583 --> 01:05:30,750
I'll greet my friends
and be right with you.
708
01:05:30,958 --> 01:05:34,666
- Drink. Rest a bit.
- Don't joke, I'm Inspector Upright!
709
01:05:34,916 --> 01:05:36,541
- 40 million.
- Dealer!
710
01:05:36,791 --> 01:05:41,083
At this point Upright
senses that something is fishy.
711
01:05:41,291 --> 01:05:44,458
He pretends to be stupid
to see how it ends up.
712
01:05:44,666 --> 01:05:46,583
What are you doing here?
713
01:05:46,833 --> 01:05:50,416
Inspector Upright.
I am here to arrest Mr. Palese.
714
01:05:50,666 --> 01:05:53,833
I know. I meant what are you
doing here with that tray? Give me.
715
01:05:54,083 --> 01:05:55,958
Oh, no!
716
01:05:56,208 --> 01:05:59,083
- Leave...
- I insist.
717
01:05:59,333 --> 01:06:02,416
He realized what was going on
from the hostess's behavior.
718
01:06:02,625 --> 01:06:06,208
Alright, come.
Take it to the kitchen.
719
01:06:06,458 --> 01:06:09,875
To see how it ends up,
Upright follows her.
720
01:06:10,083 --> 01:06:12,750
Shortly after he is bent over
unplugging a sink.
721
01:06:12,958 --> 01:06:16,666
After this move,
he senses that big stuff is involved.
722
01:06:16,875 --> 01:06:20,083
He thinks, "This woman is a hotsie!"
723
01:06:20,291 --> 01:06:23,875
And he adds,
"I cannot get horny on the job."
724
01:06:24,083 --> 01:06:27,083
A slice of pineapple with whiskey
to the gentleman!
725
01:06:27,333 --> 01:06:29,583
He wonders to himself,
"Pineapple? What is it?"
726
01:06:29,791 --> 01:06:32,666
He accepts it
to see how it will end up.
727
01:06:32,875 --> 01:06:36,375
- The senator is here.
- My jacket!
728
01:06:36,625 --> 01:06:39,458
Is it really an accident
or a subtle move?
729
01:06:39,666 --> 01:06:42,416
Again he acts stupid
to see what is behind this.
730
01:06:42,625 --> 01:06:46,916
He remains attentive, alert,
still acting stupid.
731
01:06:49,250 --> 01:06:53,000
- You went out of your way...
- My husband's fault. He's nervous.
732
01:06:53,208 --> 01:06:56,125
In one week, I lost two servants.
733
01:06:56,333 --> 01:06:59,333
First Abdul, and then
that scoundrel Saverio.
734
01:07:01,000 --> 01:07:04,208
Tonight we'll celebrate
with a small ceremony,
735
01:07:04,416 --> 01:07:07,750
the 1st anniversary of the nomination
of Senator Volpinacci
736
01:07:07,958 --> 01:07:10,250
as president
of the Carbohydrates Institute.
737
01:07:11,208 --> 01:07:14,666
Upright is alone,
listening to the echoes of the party,
738
01:07:14,875 --> 01:07:18,083
the cheerful cries of the ladies,
and the compliments to the senator.
739
01:07:18,291 --> 01:07:22,375
A suspicion slowly grows
inside of him.
740
01:07:22,583 --> 01:07:25,000
Suddenly he darkens.
741
01:07:25,208 --> 01:07:27,833
Now he knows how it will end up.
742
01:07:28,458 --> 01:07:31,916
Perhaps it's the secret fascination
of the unusual environment
743
01:07:32,125 --> 01:07:35,500
that induces him to change his look,
gestures and uniform,
744
01:07:35,708 --> 01:07:38,791
up to the point of looking
like a waiter.
745
01:07:39,000 --> 01:07:41,833
He peels an orange
without receiving a tip
746
01:07:42,041 --> 01:07:45,500
because he knows it's his destiny
to serve the citizens.
747
01:07:45,708 --> 01:07:49,333
Then he goes back
to doing what he came for.
748
01:07:49,541 --> 01:07:52,000
When will we talk about this matter?
749
01:07:52,208 --> 01:07:54,875
- Not tonight!
- Shall I come back tomorrow?
750
01:07:55,083 --> 01:07:57,083
I'll call you.
751
01:07:57,291 --> 01:08:00,958
Surely Upright doesn't bend
and doesn't break,
752
01:08:01,166 --> 01:08:05,333
but if he finds who fools him,
first he'll bend and then he'll break.
753
01:08:05,541 --> 01:08:09,291
But if he finds who fools him,
754
01:08:09,500 --> 01:08:12,583
first he'll bend
and then he'll break.
755
01:08:31,750 --> 01:08:33,958
Excuse me! Listen...
756
01:08:34,208 --> 01:08:39,125
- Can you answer some questions?
- Me?
757
01:08:39,375 --> 01:08:41,541
We are television people.
758
01:08:41,791 --> 01:08:44,875
Just a minute. Wait.
I'll come down.
759
01:08:45,125 --> 01:08:50,125
We are here in Milan to interview
Mr. Menelao Guardabassi.
760
01:08:50,333 --> 01:08:53,333
What are you doing on this boat?
761
01:08:53,583 --> 01:08:55,083
I'm travelling.
762
01:08:55,333 --> 01:08:58,041
Sometimes I get a ride,
763
01:08:58,250 --> 01:09:01,125
and I take a free cruise!
764
01:09:01,375 --> 01:09:03,208
Are you retired?
765
01:09:06,458 --> 01:09:10,500
- Can you hear when I speak?
- Sure. We are recording!
766
01:09:12,750 --> 01:09:18,250
Yes, I used to work.
I am a former works superintendent.
767
01:09:18,458 --> 01:09:21,750
But I don't work anymore,
I've retired.
768
01:09:22,791 --> 01:09:27,166
We wanted to talk about that.
How much is your pension money?
769
01:09:29,541 --> 01:09:33,125
- Talk, or are you afraid of taxes?
- No! No!
770
01:09:34,291 --> 01:09:36,666
I get 32,000 Liras a month.
771
01:09:36,916 --> 01:09:39,666
- How do you manage?
- I don't complain.
772
01:09:39,875 --> 01:09:43,041
Every morning the alarm rings
at 7 on the nose.
773
01:09:43,250 --> 01:09:45,500
I get up and get a breath
of fresh air.
774
01:09:45,708 --> 01:09:50,166
Go away with this stuff!
Then I wash myself.
775
01:09:50,375 --> 01:09:52,041
Madam!
776
01:09:53,000 --> 01:09:55,833
- The faucet key.
- Watch out for your head!
777
01:09:56,041 --> 01:09:59,541
Thank you.
Here it is.
778
01:09:59,750 --> 01:10:02,166
Directly at the fountain!
779
01:10:02,375 --> 01:10:04,375
I have all I need here.
780
01:10:04,625 --> 01:10:06,583
A toothbrush...
781
01:10:10,250 --> 01:10:12,291
The bird toothpaste.
782
01:10:12,500 --> 01:10:15,833
I just advertised.
In case, you can cut it.
783
01:10:16,041 --> 01:10:18,041
I brush my teeth.
784
01:10:19,291 --> 01:10:21,291
Not much, but well done.
785
01:10:23,000 --> 01:10:25,666
I wash my hands with this.
786
01:10:25,875 --> 01:10:29,458
You know what it is?
It's not a soap bar.
787
01:10:29,666 --> 01:10:33,166
It's yellow paper,
the shopkeepers use.
788
01:10:33,375 --> 01:10:35,916
It's a lot better than soap!
789
01:10:36,125 --> 01:10:40,000
You never know what they put
inside soap bars.
790
01:10:40,208 --> 01:10:43,458
This is first quality stuff!
791
01:10:43,666 --> 01:10:48,916
Look. It's that paper
that they use for tuna too.
792
01:10:49,166 --> 01:10:51,166
Smell the scent of the sea.
793
01:10:51,375 --> 01:10:54,750
Smell the scent of the sea.
Smell the scent of the sea.
794
01:10:54,958 --> 01:10:58,833
- You never take a bath?
- Yes, on the 15th of August.
795
01:10:59,041 --> 01:11:03,208
Bathing too often ruins your skin.
796
01:11:03,458 --> 01:11:06,666
I keep my hair long.
It's not to save on the barber,
797
01:11:06,875 --> 01:11:09,500
but because it keeps my neck warm.
798
01:11:09,708 --> 01:11:12,416
- You don't eat breakfast?
- I don't have that habit.
799
01:11:12,625 --> 01:11:16,458
I'm not the type who only thinks
of eating and drinking.
800
01:11:16,666 --> 01:11:19,958
- You're not even having coffee?
- Oh, sure!
801
01:11:20,166 --> 01:11:23,875
I should start with drugs
in the morning? Coffee has caffeine.
802
01:11:24,083 --> 01:11:27,000
Sometimes, when I want
to have a great time on Sunday,
803
01:11:27,208 --> 01:11:29,750
I go with my friends
with cooked food.
804
01:11:29,958 --> 01:11:32,583
I can't complain.
805
01:11:32,791 --> 01:11:36,333
- You're not catching the bus?
- I never catch it.
806
01:11:36,541 --> 01:11:39,500
I am the independent type!
807
01:11:42,416 --> 01:11:45,708
Push it to the left. Move it!
808
01:11:45,916 --> 01:11:48,916
A bit more! Come on!
809
01:11:49,125 --> 01:11:50,750
Excuse me.
810
01:11:53,833 --> 01:11:55,458
Perfect.
811
01:11:55,666 --> 01:11:59,000
That's not good! Move it!
812
01:11:59,208 --> 01:12:03,250
Hey! Pull up that cable!
813
01:12:03,458 --> 01:12:05,125
It's crazy!
814
01:12:05,375 --> 01:12:09,083
With all my experience,
I tell you something twice...
815
01:12:09,291 --> 01:12:11,291
It's enough, huh?
816
01:12:11,500 --> 01:12:14,416
I can't stay here
and waste time with them!
817
01:12:14,666 --> 01:12:18,250
- Are you going home to ear?
- No, I'm going to the infirmary.
818
01:12:38,250 --> 01:12:40,250
Where are you going?
819
01:12:40,458 --> 01:12:42,750
Who is it? The federal?
820
01:12:44,333 --> 01:12:46,541
I'm hungry today.
821
01:12:51,750 --> 01:12:54,916
Vitamin B12 and vitamin C.
822
01:12:55,125 --> 01:12:58,083
It's a complete meal!
A first course,
823
01:12:58,291 --> 01:13:01,791
a second course and side dish,
fruit and even "panettone"!
824
01:13:02,041 --> 01:13:05,375
- What else do you want?
- I have a cough.
825
01:13:05,583 --> 01:13:08,250
- So what?
- Give me a syrup.
826
01:13:12,166 --> 01:13:14,791
After the shot,
it's an excellent digestive drink.
827
01:13:15,000 --> 01:13:19,166
Melted in chamomile tea,
it's much better than sugar.
828
01:13:19,375 --> 01:13:23,875
If it's very hot, with a bit
of lemon peel, it's like punch.
829
01:13:28,375 --> 01:13:32,375
- You're still interested in women!
- Sure enough!
830
01:13:32,583 --> 01:13:35,125
When was the last time
you were with a woman?
831
01:13:37,916 --> 01:13:42,083
I get a Christmas bonus too.
832
01:13:42,291 --> 01:13:45,250
When I receive it...
833
01:13:50,625 --> 01:13:54,500
Hi. Will you do that thing to me?
Do you have time now?
834
01:13:54,708 --> 01:13:58,250
- Warm hand, 1,000. Cold hand, 500.
- Cold hand!
835
01:14:01,125 --> 01:14:02,958
Here is the 500.
836
01:14:09,916 --> 01:14:13,583
- Laura, do a good job.
- My name is Maria!
837
01:14:14,958 --> 01:14:18,708
If I think of Laura Antonelli,
it feels better.
838
01:14:20,500 --> 01:14:22,625
You aren't jealous, are you?
839
01:14:25,250 --> 01:14:28,250
- How do you spend your afternoons?
- I'm not complaining.
840
01:14:28,458 --> 01:14:32,416
I sit on my folding cane
and sit in front of the tv set.
841
01:14:32,625 --> 01:14:34,958
There is no sound,
but maybe it's better!
842
01:14:50,666 --> 01:14:52,375
The usual.
843
01:14:53,291 --> 01:14:55,708
Here is the "Bologna".
844
01:14:58,166 --> 01:14:59,791
Here.
845
01:15:04,208 --> 01:15:09,083
So... 200 Liras the "mortadella",
846
01:15:09,291 --> 01:15:11,791
100 Liras the apple,
and 100 Liras the bread.
847
01:15:13,708 --> 01:15:18,666
Until yesterday bread was
25 centimeters. Now it's 20.
848
01:15:18,875 --> 01:15:20,958
Didn't you know it had increased?
849
01:15:21,166 --> 01:15:22,791
Good evening, madam!
850
01:15:23,000 --> 01:15:25,458
It's alright anyway, right?
851
01:15:25,666 --> 01:15:28,083
Yes, yes!
852
01:15:28,291 --> 01:15:30,291
I'm not complaining.
853
01:15:31,250 --> 01:15:33,250
But sometimes I get pissed off!
854
01:15:36,000 --> 01:15:38,083
You don't even have a mattress?
855
01:15:38,291 --> 01:15:41,166
That's the first place
where thieves look.
856
01:15:41,375 --> 01:15:44,708
- It's a room without a window.
- It's better.
857
01:15:44,916 --> 01:15:47,416
It doesn't get hot in the summer,
858
01:15:47,625 --> 01:15:50,125
nor cold in the winter.
859
01:15:50,333 --> 01:15:53,291
A constant temperature
like in basements.
860
01:15:56,166 --> 01:15:58,875
- You drink syrup with your meal?
- Yes.
861
01:15:59,125 --> 01:16:04,625
As you can see,
I end my day saving money.
862
01:16:04,875 --> 01:16:09,250
I spend 500 Liras a day to eat.
863
01:16:09,458 --> 01:16:12,333
In a month, it makes 15,000 Liras.
864
01:16:12,541 --> 01:16:18,166
The month of February has 28 days,
so I can buy wine!
865
01:16:18,416 --> 01:16:23,250
15,000 to eat and 13,000
for renting this home.
866
01:16:23,458 --> 01:16:25,625
- It makes...
- 28.
867
01:16:25,833 --> 01:16:29,750
28, right!
With the first 2,000 Liras left over,
868
01:16:29,958 --> 01:16:33,458
I satisfy my whims!
869
01:16:33,666 --> 01:16:39,000
I still have 2,000 Liras left
to face tough times.
870
01:16:39,208 --> 01:16:41,625
- It's wise to plan ahead.
- Yes.
871
01:16:41,833 --> 01:16:45,958
There are retired men
who even have to support their wives!
872
01:16:46,166 --> 01:16:50,250
- Furniture is painted on the wall.
- It takes up less room.
873
01:16:52,000 --> 01:16:56,541
Look. I even have a support belt!
It keeps me warm.
874
01:16:56,750 --> 01:17:00,416
- You do everything with newspapers?
- Isn't there freedom of the press?
875
01:17:00,625 --> 01:17:03,666
Don't you ever see a nice filet?
876
01:17:04,625 --> 01:17:06,791
A filet? What is it?
877
01:17:07,000 --> 01:17:10,416
What the officers of the army
have here?
878
01:17:10,625 --> 01:17:14,416
No! I mean that cut of tender meat
that is between the cow's loins.
879
01:17:14,625 --> 01:17:16,625
Meat... filet.
880
01:17:17,583 --> 01:17:19,583
Filet!
881
01:17:58,833 --> 01:18:02,333
District attorney, they accuse you
of having confiscated many films
882
01:18:02,541 --> 01:18:05,916
with the pretext that they were
obscene, thus considering Italians
883
01:18:06,125 --> 01:18:09,083
immature, underdeveloped,
backward, infantile and inferior.
884
01:18:09,291 --> 01:18:12,041
- Exactly!
- Doesn't this criticism upset you?
885
01:18:12,250 --> 01:18:14,291
Aren't you ashamed?
Doubtful? Regrets?
886
01:18:14,500 --> 01:18:16,958
- I don't hear anything.
- Why?
887
01:18:17,166 --> 01:18:19,833
Because I use "Oro tapp".
888
01:18:20,041 --> 01:18:23,541
Against bothersome noises,
for peaceful living.
889
01:18:24,375 --> 01:18:26,458
With "Oro Tapp"
890
01:18:26,666 --> 01:18:31,083
you will no longer hear
noises that irritate you.
891
01:18:32,166 --> 01:18:34,416
- Enough!
- We are...
892
01:18:34,625 --> 01:18:36,458
- All...
- Adults.
893
01:18:36,666 --> 01:18:38,500
- We want...
- To decide...
894
01:18:38,708 --> 01:18:40,541
- With the head...
- Our head.
895
01:18:40,750 --> 01:18:43,750
We have grown up!
We've grown up!
896
01:18:59,916 --> 01:19:03,750
Our programs. After the "Losers-meter"
a quiz program with prizes,
897
01:19:03,958 --> 01:19:07,375
there will be the last episode
of the tv movie, "The Holy Throne".
898
01:19:07,625 --> 01:19:09,541
Concluding the evening...
899
01:19:11,208 --> 01:19:14,208
there will be the afternoon...
the night news.
900
01:19:43,083 --> 01:19:45,083
Ladies and gentlemen,
good evening.
901
01:19:45,291 --> 01:19:48,958
Welcome to the 15th episode
of Losers-meter.
902
01:19:49,166 --> 01:19:53,250
During tonight's program, three
authentic losers will participate.
903
01:19:53,500 --> 01:19:57,500
Losers are never missing in Italy.
904
01:19:57,708 --> 01:19:59,916
These losers were chosen
905
01:20:00,125 --> 01:20:03,125
among thousands of losers
who applied.
906
01:20:03,333 --> 01:20:05,625
Be happy!
907
01:20:05,875 --> 01:20:08,708
Mrs. Cogitabondi of Pinerolo,
908
01:20:08,916 --> 01:20:11,416
Mr. Macaluso of Gibellina,
909
01:20:13,333 --> 01:20:17,166
and Mr. Crescenzi of Rocca Cantora.
910
01:20:17,916 --> 01:20:22,541
Here is our first contestant,
Mrs. Cogitabondi.
911
01:20:22,791 --> 01:20:26,041
- Go!
- I am a virgin widow.
912
01:20:27,375 --> 01:20:29,833
Excuse me, but that seems...
913
01:20:30,083 --> 01:20:34,958
I'll explain. I had a proxy marriage
and used a very touched-up photo
914
01:20:35,208 --> 01:20:38,125
with an emigrant in Australia.
I went to wait for him at the port.
915
01:20:38,375 --> 01:20:42,916
When he saw me, he jumped
from the ship, crashing on the pier.
916
01:20:43,166 --> 01:20:47,125
He died the evening of the wedding.
Magnificent! How many points, Marina?
917
01:20:47,375 --> 01:20:51,833
- 35 points.
- 35 points! Fine! My compliments!
918
01:20:52,083 --> 01:20:55,291
Let's go on to the second contestant,
Mr. Macaluso
919
01:20:55,500 --> 01:20:58,666
from Gibellina.
Are you deaf-mute?
920
01:20:58,916 --> 01:21:01,750
Only mute. Too bad!
921
01:21:02,000 --> 01:21:05,208
Notary, may I accept
a written misfortune?
922
01:21:05,416 --> 01:21:08,000
- Yes, if motivated.
- Very well!
923
01:21:08,250 --> 01:21:10,791
"An entrepreneur whose name
I don't want to say
924
01:21:11,000 --> 01:21:14,291
entrusted recycled money,
a billion dirty Liras to me,
925
01:21:14,500 --> 01:21:16,625
but I forgot it on the train."
926
01:21:16,833 --> 01:21:19,250
Mr. Macaluso!
927
01:21:19,458 --> 01:21:22,458
Is forgetting
a billion Liras on the train
928
01:21:22,708 --> 01:21:25,875
a misfortune, notary?
- No, it's asinine.
929
01:21:26,125 --> 01:21:28,250
It's asinine, my dear friend.
930
01:21:28,458 --> 01:21:31,333
This answer would be appropriate
931
01:21:31,541 --> 01:21:35,125
for our future program
"The Asinine-meter".
932
01:21:35,333 --> 01:21:38,750
You are eliminated! You disappointed
millions of spectators.
933
01:21:39,000 --> 01:21:41,375
It's your turn, Mr. Crescenzi.
Go on!
934
01:21:41,625 --> 01:21:45,083
I was arrested with the accusation
of stealing an apple.
935
01:21:45,333 --> 01:21:49,291
I was sodomized in jail
by 12 cell mates
936
01:21:49,541 --> 01:21:51,958
and two wardens
who ran over to help me.
937
01:21:52,208 --> 01:21:55,958
- Then they increased my sentence.
- Increased it?
938
01:21:56,208 --> 01:21:59,583
For obscene acts
and luring of public officers!
939
01:21:59,791 --> 01:22:02,541
Fabulous! Fabulous!
940
01:22:03,416 --> 01:22:06,041
- How many points, Marina?
- 55.
941
01:22:06,291 --> 01:22:09,375
55 points. Wonderful!
942
01:22:09,625 --> 01:22:13,333
Let's go back to the first booth.
Mrs. Cogitabondi, go!
943
01:22:13,541 --> 01:22:16,000
- My purse was snatched coming here.
- Very good!
944
01:22:16,208 --> 01:22:18,625
To overcome the shock,
I took a tranquilizer,
945
01:22:18,833 --> 01:22:22,875
but made a mistake. It was
a laxative. And now I am...
946
01:22:23,083 --> 01:22:26,291
Shitting in your underpants!
Shitting in your underpants!
947
01:22:27,500 --> 01:22:29,916
- 60 points.
- Very good!
948
01:22:30,125 --> 01:22:33,375
60 points to the first booth,
in fact, toilet!
949
01:22:34,708 --> 01:22:37,708
- To you, Mr. Crescenzi. Go!
- I was obliged to escape
950
01:22:37,916 --> 01:22:41,958
with the "monster of Agerola",
author of 27 rapes.
951
01:22:42,166 --> 01:22:45,583
The crowd chased us
screaming, "Monster!"
952
01:22:45,791 --> 01:22:49,041
They lynched me,
and I don't know why.
953
01:22:49,291 --> 01:22:53,458
They lynched him!
It's awesome! Amazing!
954
01:22:56,166 --> 01:23:00,333
Thank you! Thank you!
Now we've come to the final phase.
955
01:23:00,583 --> 01:23:04,208
Mrs. Loser from Pinerolo,
try the button.
956
01:23:06,000 --> 01:23:11,083
Perfect! Now, Mr. Crescenzi,
try your button.
957
01:23:15,000 --> 01:23:20,375
Wonderful!
The contestant was electrocuted!
958
01:23:20,625 --> 01:23:24,916
Where're you going?
Let him die. It'll be his good luck!
959
01:23:29,500 --> 01:23:32,708
Here he is! Our winner!
960
01:23:32,916 --> 01:23:36,916
Our viewer friends,
we will see you next week.
961
01:23:37,125 --> 01:23:39,333
Remember that your happiness
962
01:23:39,541 --> 01:23:42,208
is the misfortune of others.
963
01:23:42,416 --> 01:23:45,708
Melancholy! Melancholy!
964
01:23:56,541 --> 01:23:59,666
Let's watch a brief summary
of the preceding episodes.
965
01:23:59,916 --> 01:24:02,291
After unspeakable incidents,
966
01:24:02,500 --> 01:24:05,625
Cardinal Pizzuti
rose to the Holy Throne,
967
01:24:05,833 --> 01:24:09,125
overtaking in the Conclave
Cardinal Canareggio.
968
01:24:09,333 --> 01:24:13,666
In toasting with him, he was struck
by a mysterious illness.
969
01:24:18,083 --> 01:24:20,750
Atrocious suffering brought him
to his death bed.
970
01:24:23,541 --> 01:24:25,541
A moment before his death,
971
01:24:25,750 --> 01:24:28,791
the Pope was illuminated
by a late suspect.
972
01:24:29,000 --> 01:24:32,000
I go on to eternity,
and you know why.
973
01:24:33,083 --> 01:24:35,375
So now they will vote for me
as Pope!
974
01:24:38,833 --> 01:24:43,458
But another ambitious man
aimed at the same position.
975
01:24:43,666 --> 01:24:47,041
The very powerful cardinal
Piazza Colonna.
976
01:24:47,250 --> 01:24:50,208
Now answer another prayer.
977
01:24:50,416 --> 01:24:52,250
Have me become Pope!
978
01:24:52,500 --> 01:24:57,500
So over the body of the pope
who had just be embalmed...
979
01:24:59,000 --> 01:25:01,083
You made him so ugly!
980
01:25:01,833 --> 01:25:03,708
You could have called in an Egyptian!
981
01:25:04,416 --> 01:25:07,291
At that point
the two powerful cardinals
982
01:25:07,500 --> 01:25:12,708
began the most fierce fight
for succession in the papal history.
983
01:25:12,958 --> 01:25:16,750
You can't exhibit him.
He won't last long.
984
01:25:16,958 --> 01:25:19,625
He's like a rotten fish.
985
01:25:21,500 --> 01:25:23,916
He'll go to pot.
986
01:25:25,750 --> 01:25:30,208
- What is your proposal?
- Give me all the votes you can,
987
01:25:30,416 --> 01:25:35,250
and I'll have 20 nephews of yours
become cardinals.
988
01:25:35,458 --> 01:25:40,791
So, with 20 cardinal nephews, when
I die, they'll make you the pope.
989
01:25:55,000 --> 01:25:57,750
- I have half the council on my side.
- I have the other half.
990
01:25:57,958 --> 01:26:02,208
We'll be even in the voting,
or one of us will win by one vote.
991
01:26:02,416 --> 01:26:05,500
- Do you want to risk?
- Yes, I do. What do I care?
992
01:26:05,708 --> 01:26:08,333
But no plotting in the corridor!
993
01:26:08,583 --> 01:26:12,000
A clean vote.
An extra vote can always be found.
994
01:26:19,083 --> 01:26:22,916
Eminence, you think
he can come to the Conclave?
995
01:26:23,125 --> 01:26:25,250
Will he come on a stretcher?
996
01:26:25,458 --> 01:26:29,916
He can't miss it.
He is virtue, the mirror of Rome.
997
01:26:30,125 --> 01:26:32,916
If only for the patience with which
he puts up with his illness...
998
01:26:33,125 --> 01:26:36,916
Who is it?
What are all these voices?
999
01:26:38,125 --> 01:26:41,250
- Is the boat ready?
- What boat?
1000
01:26:41,458 --> 01:26:44,541
Did Charon send me a sailor?
1001
01:26:46,458 --> 01:26:51,375
Felicetto Ceased Spirits,
Cardinal Caprettari,
1002
01:26:51,583 --> 01:26:55,083
the man who gave everything
to the needy and lives in poverty.
1003
01:26:55,333 --> 01:26:58,375
No! He will die in poverty!
1004
01:26:58,583 --> 01:27:01,375
Make an effort. Get up.
1005
01:27:01,583 --> 01:27:05,083
- We only ask for your presence.
- But I feel sick.
1006
01:27:05,291 --> 01:27:09,125
I have dropsy, epilepsy,
1007
01:27:09,333 --> 01:27:12,958
infantile paralysis, tapeworm...
1008
01:27:13,166 --> 01:27:15,458
What else?
1009
01:27:15,666 --> 01:27:18,291
Oh! Herpes Zoster!
1010
01:27:18,500 --> 01:27:22,875
Encephalitis.
Look at this hand.
1011
01:27:23,083 --> 01:27:25,375
Now it's still.
1012
01:27:25,583 --> 01:27:27,666
I have Saint Lazarus scabs.
1013
01:27:27,875 --> 01:27:31,416
It's a Medieval disease
that no one has anymore.
1014
01:27:31,625 --> 01:27:35,083
But I have it.
I have a urine problem.
1015
01:27:35,291 --> 01:27:37,583
I drink and bloat.
1016
01:27:37,791 --> 01:27:41,833
I haven't pissed for many days.
Miss Edvige.
1017
01:27:42,750 --> 01:27:45,708
- How many days has it been?
- You're asking me?
1018
01:27:45,916 --> 01:27:48,958
Tell him. It pleases His Eminence.
1019
01:28:04,416 --> 01:28:08,000
- Did you do that?
- They are the angelical trumpets.
1020
01:28:08,208 --> 01:28:11,458
- I already hear them calling me.
- He always says that.
1021
01:28:13,208 --> 01:28:18,541
Sometimes, during winter evenings,
I sit at the foot of the bed
1022
01:28:19,375 --> 01:28:23,166
and His Eminence, graciously,
has me listen to the concert.
1023
01:28:23,375 --> 01:28:25,208
To have a good time!
1024
01:28:28,500 --> 01:28:31,333
Custodian! Custodian!
1025
01:28:31,583 --> 01:28:35,000
- Give it. I'll do it.
- Do you mind, Eminence?
1026
01:28:37,250 --> 01:28:41,791
Be careful. He's like a child,
especially with "peperini" in broth.
1027
01:28:42,000 --> 01:28:45,291
- He drools all over. Yesterday...
- Custodian!
1028
01:28:45,500 --> 01:28:48,541
Hey! What a nuisance!
1029
01:28:49,541 --> 01:28:52,041
She was a whore. I redeemed her.
1030
01:28:52,250 --> 01:28:54,541
I had her given a job as custodian.
1031
01:29:01,208 --> 01:29:04,625
- Only I heard that one.
- No, me too.
1032
01:29:04,875 --> 01:29:08,083
Really? I guess it's because
I'm smelling holiness!
1033
01:29:10,333 --> 01:29:14,750
Vote for me and I'll have Bramante
1034
01:29:14,958 --> 01:29:16,875
build a commode like a cathedral.
1035
01:29:22,083 --> 01:29:24,458
I am not ambitious.
1036
01:29:25,625 --> 01:29:29,041
I'm dead for the world.
Slowly, or I'll choke.
1037
01:29:30,875 --> 01:29:33,416
I only hope to deliver myself
to the undertaker and...
1038
01:29:35,416 --> 01:29:39,041
Don't stuff me!
Give me that spoon.
1039
01:29:39,916 --> 01:29:44,958
So vote for me and when you die,
I'll make you a saint.
1040
01:29:45,833 --> 01:29:48,041
A saint is more than a pope!
1041
01:29:49,458 --> 01:29:53,625
- Darn you and your "peperini"!
- Miss Edvige, a napkin!
1042
01:29:53,875 --> 01:29:56,750
- She left.
- When?
1043
01:29:58,000 --> 01:30:00,000
Just think of it.
1044
01:30:00,708 --> 01:30:04,083
Me down here,
and you up there.
1045
01:30:04,291 --> 01:30:06,916
We've never seen such harmony.
1046
01:30:07,583 --> 01:30:10,041
We'll create the holy gang.
1047
01:30:10,250 --> 01:30:13,166
We'll hail the crusades
and raise the stakes.
1048
01:30:13,375 --> 01:30:16,083
We'll criticize the gospels.
1049
01:30:16,291 --> 01:30:18,291
There's a lot we can have fun with.
1050
01:30:19,916 --> 01:30:22,750
We'll be in cahoots
and catch them all.
1051
01:30:22,958 --> 01:30:26,291
- All, who?
- You'll be the saint with an ax.
1052
01:30:27,208 --> 01:30:29,208
With a plate?
1053
01:30:29,416 --> 01:30:32,250
They'll put you on the cover
of the calendar.
1054
01:30:32,458 --> 01:30:35,750
- I'm not worthy of it.
- I already venerate you.
1055
01:30:35,958 --> 01:30:38,916
My holy Felicetto, answer my prayer!
1056
01:30:40,333 --> 01:30:43,625
- All this for a vote?
- It all depends on one vote.
1057
01:30:46,666 --> 01:30:48,458
Saint Peperino!
1058
01:30:49,083 --> 01:30:52,291
No, I don't deserve anything.
1059
01:30:52,500 --> 01:30:56,958
I just need a shovelful of soil,
a cross with two sticks.
1060
01:30:57,166 --> 01:30:59,416
And you tempt me in my conceitedness.
1061
01:30:59,666 --> 01:31:02,333
It is a very ugly temptation.
1062
01:31:02,583 --> 01:31:06,875
You have the devil creep
inside of me. I already feel ill!
1063
01:31:07,125 --> 01:31:11,833
I have a conflict creep inside of me,
my guts will churn.
1064
01:31:12,041 --> 01:31:14,791
I must resist!
1065
01:31:19,125 --> 01:31:24,250
Did you hear?
Even the angels say no. I'm sorry.
1066
01:31:24,500 --> 01:31:27,041
- Is this your last word?
- No, maybe there's another one.
1067
01:31:27,250 --> 01:31:29,875
- Enough angels!
- No, it's my word.
1068
01:31:30,125 --> 01:31:33,000
Think of your health,
you who can do that.
1069
01:31:33,250 --> 01:31:36,416
- You know what?
- What?
1070
01:31:36,625 --> 01:31:39,166
Stick it up your ass, you big fart!
1071
01:31:39,375 --> 01:31:42,791
There you go. I was worried.
1072
01:31:44,208 --> 01:31:46,500
Miss Edvige!
1073
01:31:47,833 --> 01:31:49,583
Did I eat?
1074
01:31:49,833 --> 01:31:52,458
Dear faithful, good morning.
1075
01:31:52,666 --> 01:31:56,416
The first voting is under way.
1076
01:31:56,625 --> 01:32:02,416
And already two opposing sides
of the Sacred Council are forming.
1077
01:32:02,666 --> 01:32:05,125
"Piazza Colonna."
White.
1078
01:32:06,791 --> 01:32:08,416
Your mother!
1079
01:32:08,666 --> 01:32:10,666
White.
1080
01:32:10,916 --> 01:32:13,083
"Piazza Colonna."
1081
01:32:13,333 --> 01:32:15,291
"Canareggio."
White.
1082
01:32:15,541 --> 01:32:18,833
While waiting for the result
of the voting,
1083
01:32:19,041 --> 01:32:22,125
which appears to be very uncertain,
1084
01:32:24,208 --> 01:32:29,125
considering the equilibrium
of the forces that oppose themselves,
1085
01:32:29,375 --> 01:32:32,958
now we'll do a brief opinion survey.
1086
01:32:33,208 --> 01:32:36,125
Who did you vote for, Eminence?
1087
01:32:36,333 --> 01:32:40,916
For Cardinal Canareggio,
the right man in the right place.
1088
01:32:42,250 --> 01:32:44,250
Note that.
1089
01:32:54,958 --> 01:32:59,750
Eminences, be silent.
The voting is still under way!
1090
01:33:03,500 --> 01:33:05,333
Eminence...
1091
01:33:06,916 --> 01:33:10,500
Who did you vote for?
1092
01:33:10,750 --> 01:33:13,250
For Cardinal Piazza Colonna.
1093
01:33:14,333 --> 01:33:18,166
- A great moralizer.
- Note that.
1094
01:33:19,583 --> 01:33:21,583
An autograph, Eminence.
1095
01:33:23,125 --> 01:33:25,541
He is truly a saintly man!
1096
01:33:26,500 --> 01:33:28,916
Thank Sister Orsola.
1097
01:33:39,250 --> 01:33:42,250
It seems that I'm shitting
on your head, Eminence.
1098
01:33:56,458 --> 01:33:58,291
The ballots are even.
1099
01:34:08,791 --> 01:34:12,333
The smoke arose, Eminence.
It's black.
1100
01:34:12,583 --> 01:34:15,083
It's black for everyone!
1101
01:34:15,333 --> 01:34:17,791
Miss Edvige, close the curtain.
1102
01:34:18,041 --> 01:34:22,375
- Lots of smoke is entering.
- I'll have to do the laundry again.
1103
01:34:22,583 --> 01:34:26,833
Until the smoke is white,
I won't do laundry!
1104
01:34:30,500 --> 01:34:32,541
Yes, that's better.
1105
01:34:32,791 --> 01:34:34,791
Well...
1106
01:34:35,000 --> 01:34:38,500
Tragedy hovers overhead.
1107
01:34:39,750 --> 01:34:42,166
Miss Edvige, I have to piss.
1108
01:34:44,708 --> 01:34:49,791
She left!
She's never around when I need her.
1109
01:34:51,708 --> 01:34:56,791
The country is changing,
but the cardinals remain the same.
1110
01:34:57,666 --> 01:35:01,125
Look where that slut put my urinal!
1111
01:35:01,333 --> 01:35:03,416
You'd think she does it on purpose!
1112
01:35:10,083 --> 01:35:12,083
I'm not ready.
1113
01:35:12,291 --> 01:35:14,583
Don't cut the string.
1114
01:35:14,791 --> 01:35:17,375
I was waiting for you,
but not so early.
1115
01:35:17,625 --> 01:35:20,666
- Hurry and piss. And let's go.
- Yes... No!
1116
01:35:20,916 --> 01:35:23,750
- Why piss if I must die?
- Why do you want to die?
1117
01:35:24,666 --> 01:35:26,666
You're not death?
1118
01:35:26,916 --> 01:35:29,041
No! It's me.
1119
01:35:29,291 --> 01:35:32,333
I had to disguise
to get out of the Conclave.
1120
01:35:32,541 --> 01:35:35,416
Oh, it's you! Then I'll piss!
1121
01:35:35,625 --> 01:35:39,291
Yes, but let's not waste time.
I need your vote.
1122
01:35:39,500 --> 01:35:43,583
You can't say no. I turn to
your sense of responsibility.
1123
01:35:46,875 --> 01:35:50,583
- Have you done?
- Done? I still have to start!
1124
01:35:50,791 --> 01:35:54,583
- Again?
- Calm down! It takes time.
1125
01:35:54,833 --> 01:35:57,958
I'm of a certain age.
I'm not a child!
1126
01:35:58,166 --> 01:36:01,166
- I have...
- Encephalitis.
1127
01:36:01,416 --> 01:36:04,500
- You do it with your steady hand.
- Me?
1128
01:36:04,708 --> 01:36:07,750
You don't know how?
Miss Edvige should be here.
1129
01:36:08,000 --> 01:36:09,625
- Edvige!
- I'll do it.
1130
01:36:09,833 --> 01:36:12,583
- Miss Edvige is good!
- Here...
1131
01:36:12,833 --> 01:36:16,291
- Keep the direction.
- Yes.
1132
01:36:17,916 --> 01:36:21,791
I have to find it.
Here it is! No, it isn't.
1133
01:36:22,041 --> 01:36:23,875
Here it is!
1134
01:36:26,291 --> 01:36:28,291
It's so great to piss!
1135
01:36:28,500 --> 01:36:30,750
If I were rich, I'd always piss.
1136
01:36:31,000 --> 01:36:35,583
- Yes, but more central.
- I used to center it.
1137
01:36:36,083 --> 01:36:39,291
Give me your vote.
Give me your vote.
1138
01:36:39,500 --> 01:36:42,833
Or I must ask God for forgiveness
for what'll happen tonight.
1139
01:36:43,833 --> 01:36:45,875
My hand!
1140
01:36:46,125 --> 01:36:49,541
Darn it!
That hand should be paralyzed!
1141
01:36:58,083 --> 01:37:01,500
Here it is! The angel passed by.
1142
01:37:03,416 --> 01:37:05,041
No. It's functioning again.
1143
01:37:06,166 --> 01:37:08,791
Be careful, Eminence.
1144
01:37:09,000 --> 01:37:11,500
Visiting the sick
1145
01:37:11,708 --> 01:37:13,708
is a wonderful thing.
1146
01:37:14,833 --> 01:37:18,833
But anger is a capital sin.
1147
01:37:19,083 --> 01:37:21,291
Will you get up or not?
1148
01:37:21,500 --> 01:37:24,416
I'm already up. Can't you see?
1149
01:37:24,625 --> 01:37:28,208
- I am ready for the last call.
- Then die!
1150
01:37:28,458 --> 01:37:30,291
You pisser!
1151
01:37:32,791 --> 01:37:37,125
I, instead, wish you to live
at least until tomorrow.
1152
01:37:52,666 --> 01:37:54,458
Cancel.
1153
01:38:25,416 --> 01:38:27,125
Cancel.
1154
01:38:32,708 --> 01:38:34,916
- Let's put him in the closet.
- Yes.
1155
01:38:37,166 --> 01:38:39,000
And now?
1156
01:38:41,208 --> 01:38:45,125
He must be from the other Conclave.
To the well!
1157
01:38:51,791 --> 01:38:54,666
Eminence, now we're a majority.
1158
01:38:56,583 --> 01:38:59,000
Now we are even again.
1159
01:39:02,083 --> 01:39:05,875
One night,
and already 36 of us are missing.
1160
01:39:06,083 --> 01:39:08,833
Since God calls
the best ones to His side,
1161
01:39:09,041 --> 01:39:12,875
does it mean the ones remaining
to vote for the Pope, are the worst?
1162
01:39:13,083 --> 01:39:16,833
I am wondering
what will happen tonight.
1163
01:39:17,041 --> 01:39:19,875
- We won't stay another night!
- We'll vote and leave.
1164
01:39:20,083 --> 01:39:22,458
We'll vote for what?
1165
01:39:22,666 --> 01:39:25,500
Eighteen cardinals on each side
have disappeared
1166
01:39:25,750 --> 01:39:27,750
and the white ballots
remain the same.
1167
01:39:27,958 --> 01:39:31,541
- So what should we do?
- There is no way out.
1168
01:39:31,750 --> 01:39:33,750
To overcome the power conflict,
1169
01:39:33,958 --> 01:39:37,333
we need a transition pope
for a reform of the papacy.
1170
01:39:37,541 --> 01:39:40,125
An interlocutory pope.
1171
01:39:40,333 --> 01:39:43,625
- An honest and kind man.
- That's me!
1172
01:39:45,500 --> 01:39:48,125
You are honest but not kind.
1173
01:39:49,583 --> 01:39:53,750
In fact, come to think of it,
you are dishonest and are evil.
1174
01:39:55,166 --> 01:39:58,291
Really? Then take this!
1175
01:39:59,083 --> 01:40:01,500
Eminences! Holy Mary!
1176
01:40:01,708 --> 01:40:04,000
We are giving
an indecent spectacle.
1177
01:40:04,208 --> 01:40:07,625
I realize there are contrasts,
but the confrontation must be civil.
1178
01:40:07,833 --> 01:40:10,166
Then let's confront each other
in a civil way.
1179
01:40:12,458 --> 01:40:17,666
- Who will be the pope?
- We need someone who doesn't know.
1180
01:40:18,916 --> 01:40:21,375
Someone who doesn't understand.
1181
01:40:21,583 --> 01:40:25,500
- Who doesn't interfere.
- And hopefully dies soon!
1182
01:40:26,833 --> 01:40:28,875
Yes! Sure!
1183
01:40:30,916 --> 01:40:33,541
Then it must be someone
who will die soon!
1184
01:40:34,625 --> 01:40:36,833
We are not eternal!
1185
01:41:08,666 --> 01:41:10,333
Who is it?
1186
01:41:12,916 --> 01:41:16,333
Have the mourning visits begun?
1187
01:41:19,416 --> 01:41:21,500
The Lord has taken me.
1188
01:41:21,750 --> 01:41:24,708
What an unbridgeable void I left!
1189
01:41:24,958 --> 01:41:27,625
Everyone loved me.
1190
01:41:28,291 --> 01:41:30,291
I was such a good man!
1191
01:41:32,291 --> 01:41:34,125
Are you the undertakers?
1192
01:41:35,458 --> 01:41:38,041
What time is the funeral?
1193
01:41:38,250 --> 01:41:41,500
You're not dead yet!
1194
01:41:41,708 --> 01:41:43,458
Oh, no?
1195
01:41:43,666 --> 01:41:46,708
Then why all this light?
Edvige!
1196
01:41:46,958 --> 01:41:50,750
- I am here.
- Blow them out. This is a waste.
1197
01:41:52,208 --> 01:41:55,958
It's what he says all day.
"Light them, blow them out..."
1198
01:41:58,083 --> 01:42:01,416
We all know that dying men
are nervous.
1199
01:42:01,625 --> 01:42:05,375
Don't worry, I will be leaving soon.
1200
01:42:05,583 --> 01:42:09,833
I will die...
Give me time to catch my breath.
1201
01:42:10,041 --> 01:42:11,875
- Eminence...
- Yes?
1202
01:42:12,916 --> 01:42:15,791
Nuntio vobis gaudium magnum.
1203
01:42:16,000 --> 01:42:20,750
Are you by chance
Cardinal Annibaliano? Edvige!
1204
01:42:20,958 --> 01:42:23,083
- I am here.
- Edvige!
1205
01:42:23,291 --> 01:42:28,125
The cardinal dean is here.
Bring out the anise biscuits.
1206
01:42:28,333 --> 01:42:30,166
- We don't have any.
- A rosolio.
1207
01:42:30,375 --> 01:42:31,916
- We don't have it.
- Some sweets.
1208
01:42:32,125 --> 01:42:34,500
- There aren't any.
- There isn't jack shit!
1209
01:42:36,333 --> 01:42:38,333
Who are all these people?
1210
01:42:39,333 --> 01:42:44,333
Nuntio vobis gaudium magnum.
Habemus Ponteficem.
1211
01:42:44,583 --> 01:42:50,500
Good! You reached an agreement.
Who is he?
1212
01:42:50,750 --> 01:42:53,625
Eminentissimum ac Reverendissimum,
1213
01:42:54,750 --> 01:42:58,708
Sanctae Romanae Ecclesiae
Cardinalem...
1214
01:42:58,916 --> 01:43:01,708
- Cardinalem?
- Try to say it.
1215
01:43:07,458 --> 01:43:10,458
- Don't make me strain.
- Cardinalem
1216
01:43:10,708 --> 01:43:14,333
De Li Caprettari.
- De Li Caprettari!
1217
01:43:14,583 --> 01:43:16,625
Which means, you!
1218
01:43:30,125 --> 01:43:34,500
- Me?
- Yes, Eminence. You.
1219
01:43:36,708 --> 01:43:38,333
I am Pope?
1220
01:43:52,375 --> 01:43:54,583
I am Christ on earth?
1221
01:45:06,250 --> 01:45:07,916
Eminence!
1222
01:45:09,750 --> 01:45:12,041
Why do you call me "Eminence"?
1223
01:45:12,250 --> 01:45:14,250
Don't get so friendly.
1224
01:45:15,166 --> 01:45:17,750
I am now the "Holy Father".
1225
01:45:17,958 --> 01:45:20,166
Or, to shorten it, "Holiness".
1226
01:45:23,416 --> 01:45:25,416
Miss Edvige, my slippers.
1227
01:45:31,541 --> 01:45:34,625
I don't believe I'm walking!
1228
01:45:35,958 --> 01:45:38,375
It took all my patience!
1229
01:45:38,958 --> 01:45:41,083
Otherwise,
I never would've made it with you.
1230
01:45:42,250 --> 01:45:44,250
Ten years in bed!
1231
01:45:45,125 --> 01:45:47,958
A whole lifetime pretending to die
1232
01:45:48,166 --> 01:45:50,291
while I was absolutely healthy.
1233
01:45:53,958 --> 01:45:57,250
Eating "peperini"
to look like a jerk.
1234
01:45:57,458 --> 01:46:00,833
And much more!
I kept telling myself,
1235
01:46:01,041 --> 01:46:04,000
"They will have to reach
a conflict of power."
1236
01:46:04,208 --> 01:46:07,958
"They will have to choose
a transition pope."
1237
01:46:08,791 --> 01:46:10,791
"A dummy pope."
1238
01:46:12,250 --> 01:46:14,250
Thank God it's over.
1239
01:46:15,000 --> 01:46:16,833
Air!
1240
01:46:17,041 --> 01:46:20,375
All these old things.
Nothing ever changes here.
1241
01:46:20,583 --> 01:46:23,041
Miss Edvige, open that door.
1242
01:46:24,000 --> 01:46:26,000
You have accumulated,
1243
01:46:26,208 --> 01:46:29,833
consolidated, incorporated,
1244
01:46:30,041 --> 01:46:32,041
subdivided...
1245
01:46:32,791 --> 01:46:34,916
Now it's someone else's turn.
1246
01:46:35,125 --> 01:46:38,583
What is the saying?
"What goes around comes around."
1247
01:46:40,000 --> 01:46:42,666
The Swiss are great! Captain!
1248
01:46:42,875 --> 01:46:46,541
The executioner will comb
these two eminences.
1249
01:46:47,416 --> 01:46:50,375
The cardinal dean
will die on his own!
1250
01:46:52,666 --> 01:46:57,000
Save me. You won't regret it.
A grey eminence is necessary.
1251
01:46:58,333 --> 01:47:01,125
I'd like to, but I am contrary
to plurality.
1252
01:47:01,333 --> 01:47:04,833
I tend towards the absolute.
I must do things my own way.
1253
01:47:05,041 --> 01:47:07,666
Which means, cutting off your head!
1254
01:47:13,750 --> 01:47:17,083
- What do you think you can do alone?
- I can live it up!
1255
01:47:17,333 --> 01:47:19,833
I'll live it up and be great.
1256
01:47:20,083 --> 01:47:23,166
Holiness, there have been
other great popes.
1257
01:47:23,416 --> 01:47:26,458
Really? Then I'll just live it up!
1258
01:47:26,708 --> 01:47:28,875
After my illness,
I must get back in shape.
1259
01:47:49,875 --> 01:47:51,291
Miss Edvige.
1260
01:47:53,833 --> 01:47:55,833
Praised be Jesus Christ.
1261
01:48:30,833 --> 01:48:34,125
I will go to the assembly.
1262
01:48:34,333 --> 01:48:36,708
You're not going? Ridolfi!
1263
01:48:36,916 --> 01:48:41,583
Is it possible you always pretend
not to know anything?
1264
01:48:44,208 --> 01:48:48,083
Very good! I will go.
1265
01:48:48,291 --> 01:48:50,666
It is useful. Mark my words.
1266
01:48:51,333 --> 01:48:53,333
Yes. I'll make
the announcement and go.
1267
01:49:08,208 --> 01:49:11,208
"Because of the uprising
of television journalists
1268
01:49:11,416 --> 01:49:14,041
for a bigger
and more democratic participation
1269
01:49:14,250 --> 01:49:16,291
in television news,
1270
01:49:16,500 --> 01:49:19,625
we apologize, but must interrupt
our tv news
1271
01:49:19,833 --> 01:49:21,833
to personally intervene
1272
01:49:22,041 --> 01:49:25,125
in an encounter with the executives
of the sector." See you later.
1273
01:49:25,375 --> 01:49:28,000
The tv news will resume
as soon as
1274
01:49:28,208 --> 01:49:32,000
the constructive opinion exchange
between journalists and managers ends.
1275
01:49:33,083 --> 01:49:37,291
The animated assembly for
freedom of information was updated.
1276
01:49:38,375 --> 01:49:42,208
"Rome. In the senior citizen salon,
the solemn ceremony
1277
01:49:42,416 --> 01:49:46,000
for the inauguration of the
preliminary ruling year took place."
1278
01:49:46,208 --> 01:49:49,083
No. First I want to inform you
of some news
1279
01:49:49,291 --> 01:49:51,958
that you'll surely be
more interested in.
1280
01:49:52,166 --> 01:49:55,000
Grottaferrata.
Today at the Osteria del Fico,
1281
01:49:55,208 --> 01:49:58,625
Mr. Aristide Barotti,
who is a plumber,
1282
01:49:58,833 --> 01:50:01,041
and Mrs. Rosetta, housewife,
1283
01:50:01,250 --> 01:50:03,666
celebrated their golden
wedding anniversary
1284
01:50:03,875 --> 01:50:07,708
surrounded by their sons,
daughters-in-law and grandchildren.
1285
01:50:07,916 --> 01:50:10,041
They were served
1286
01:50:10,250 --> 01:50:13,083
"bucatini all'amatriciana",
1287
01:50:13,291 --> 01:50:17,500
"scottadito" lamb
with baked and fried potatoes,
1288
01:50:17,708 --> 01:50:20,541
pecorino cheese, fruit and ricotta.
1289
01:50:20,750 --> 01:50:23,791
The grandfather,
Amleto Barotti, age 91,
1290
01:50:24,000 --> 01:50:26,000
who was a little tipsy from the wine,
1291
01:50:26,208 --> 01:50:28,833
improvised some popular tunes.
1292
01:50:29,041 --> 01:50:32,333
The guests present had
a wonderful time and drank a lot.
1293
01:50:32,541 --> 01:50:36,958
Among the tunes, the one
most appreciated was the following:
1294
01:50:37,750 --> 01:50:41,833
"Bitter blade of grass, too bad
my weenie no longer works,
1295
01:50:42,041 --> 01:50:45,041
or I would go wild!"
1296
01:50:46,583 --> 01:50:48,958
"Teheran. The Shah of Persia..."
1297
01:50:50,250 --> 01:50:53,625
What the hell am I saying?
1298
01:50:54,375 --> 01:50:58,541
It is very interesting.
I think it's quite interesting.
1299
01:50:58,750 --> 01:51:02,500
Much more than this!
Am I kidding?
1300
01:51:02,708 --> 01:51:06,708
I don't give a darn
about the Shah's missed visit.
1301
01:51:06,916 --> 01:51:11,291
Not about the cautious answer
of Giscard to Schmidt!
1302
01:51:11,500 --> 01:51:15,958
Am I kidding? I'll throw it all away!
I threw it all away!
1303
01:51:16,208 --> 01:51:19,833
Are you happy? Go on!
1304
01:51:20,083 --> 01:51:22,083
Who gives a darn!
1305
01:51:23,083 --> 01:51:26,708
There! With this,
I think I have finished.
1306
01:51:26,916 --> 01:51:31,250
While you'll watch the inauguration
from the senior citizen salon.
1307
01:54:52,666 --> 01:54:54,500
- Ladies...
- And gentlemen...
1308
01:54:54,708 --> 01:54:56,541
good night!
97512
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