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1
00:00:01,286 --> 00:00:03,361
And the squeak, squeak,
squeak of Dan's flossing
2
00:00:03,363 --> 00:00:06,273
with his pinky in
the air... Ugh.
3
00:00:06,275 --> 00:00:08,383
Makes me want him
to hit an artery
4
00:00:08,385 --> 00:00:12,203
and just float away on a pool
of his own blood... Mm-hmm.
5
00:00:12,205 --> 00:00:14,372
The floss dangling
from his teeth.
6
00:00:14,374 --> 00:00:16,374
Mm. When Diana
would drink water,
7
00:00:16,376 --> 00:00:18,285
which was the only thing that
she actually liked in life...
8
00:00:18,287 --> 00:00:21,304
Oh. she would drink
and then she would smack her lips...
9
00:00:21,306 --> 00:00:22,564
No.
10
00:00:22,566 --> 00:00:24,474
And then go, "Oh, wow,
that's refreshing,"
11
00:00:24,476 --> 00:00:26,293
as if it's news that
water's refreshing.
12
00:00:26,295 --> 00:00:27,977
I wanted to rip her
lips off her face.
13
00:00:27,979 --> 00:00:29,145
Yes.
14
00:00:29,147 --> 00:00:30,555
I mean, I do miss it, but...
15
00:00:30,557 --> 00:00:32,908
I'll tell you what... what
really makes me quite violent
16
00:00:32,910 --> 00:00:34,467
is when Henry plays the guitar,
17
00:00:34,469 --> 00:00:35,893
he makes... I don't
even know what.
18
00:00:35,895 --> 00:00:37,320
It's like the most earnest face.
19
00:00:37,322 --> 00:00:38,914
It's like... It's like... mmm.
20
00:00:38,916 --> 00:00:40,807
I don't even know what it is.
Oh, don't do that. Don't do that.
21
00:00:40,809 --> 00:00:43,234
But what I want to do is I
want to punch him in that face
22
00:00:43,236 --> 00:00:44,494
and then I want
to punch him again
23
00:00:44,496 --> 00:00:46,237
and then I want
to just flick him
24
00:00:46,239 --> 00:00:47,905
as, like, the final insult.
25
00:00:47,907 --> 00:00:49,666
Hey, guys. Hey, boo.
26
00:00:49,668 --> 00:00:53,428
I am gonna go make some
of my famous gazpacho.
27
00:00:53,430 --> 00:00:54,078
Ooh.
28
00:00:54,080 --> 00:00:55,080
Yeah.
29
00:00:56,007 --> 00:00:59,434
I don't know how you stay married to
him. I wanna rip my ears off my head.
30
00:00:59,436 --> 00:01:00,769
Why?
31
00:01:01,921 --> 00:01:03,438
Oh.
32
00:01:03,440 --> 00:01:05,181
Well, not everyone
likes a cold soup.
33
00:01:05,183 --> 00:01:07,667
I get it. It's
not for everyone.
34
00:01:21,441 --> 00:01:24,017
Ben: Of course, I know
Sasha's upset with me,
35
00:01:24,019 --> 00:01:25,610
but it's the right decision.
36
00:01:25,612 --> 00:01:28,613
It's really a bummer that I
ruined my shot with Sasha,
37
00:01:28,615 --> 00:01:33,042
but I do believe deep down
that Priscilla and I could...
38
00:02:24,170 --> 00:02:26,079
Mom, Evan's trying
to cut my hair!
39
00:02:26,081 --> 00:02:27,247
'Cause it looks like crap!
40
00:02:27,249 --> 00:02:28,673
It does not look like crap.
41
00:02:28,675 --> 00:02:30,433
But seriously, Nora,
run a brush through it.
42
00:02:30,435 --> 00:02:32,585
You guys, you have
to go make the bus.
43
00:02:32,587 --> 00:02:34,437
I can't take you
to school today.
44
00:02:34,439 --> 00:02:36,013
I'm late for an appointment.
45
00:02:36,015 --> 00:02:37,199
Mom, can I have cash?
46
00:02:37,201 --> 00:02:39,350
Backpacks on.
Now, go! What for?
47
00:02:39,352 --> 00:02:41,036
Drugs. Crack, specifically.
48
00:02:41,038 --> 00:02:42,353
I really hope that's
not true, Andrea.
49
00:02:42,355 --> 00:02:43,930
Is $5 enough? Thank you.
50
00:02:43,932 --> 00:02:45,690
Mm!
51
00:02:45,692 --> 00:02:47,375
Wait, no, that's mine!
52
00:02:49,529 --> 00:02:51,880
Come on, guys. We
gotta get the bus.
53
00:02:56,278 --> 00:02:58,202
Jodie. Whoa!
54
00:02:58,204 --> 00:03:00,113
Dan, what are you doing home?
55
00:03:00,115 --> 00:03:03,475
I tried to go to work,
but I don't feel well.
56
00:03:05,287 --> 00:03:06,469
I think I'm gonna throw up.
57
00:03:06,471 --> 00:03:09,397
Oh. Is there a trash
can you prefer I use?
58
00:03:09,399 --> 00:03:11,124
Is... Is the toilet
not an option?
59
00:03:11,126 --> 00:03:14,310
No, I mean to put
beside the bed.
60
00:03:14,312 --> 00:03:16,238
Or I could just lie with my head
61
00:03:16,240 --> 00:03:17,739
pressed against the cold floor.
62
00:03:17,741 --> 00:03:19,407
You know what? I think
it's dealer's choice.
63
00:03:19,409 --> 00:03:20,909
Just please don't use a wicker
trash can from the kids' room.
64
00:03:20,911 --> 00:03:21,892
I'm so sorry. I've got to go.
65
00:03:21,894 --> 00:03:23,136
Jodie!
66
00:03:23,138 --> 00:03:25,498
Do you think you
could stay? I'm dizzy.
67
00:03:26,475 --> 00:03:29,642
And what if I pass
out and hit my head?
68
00:03:29,644 --> 00:03:32,504
I wouldn't want you or the
kids to find me like that.
69
00:03:35,484 --> 00:03:37,817
I don't want you to
die like that, either.
70
00:03:39,912 --> 00:03:42,430
It's coming. Yeah.
71
00:03:42,432 --> 00:03:45,583
Oh, w-would you get
my computer, please?
72
00:03:45,585 --> 00:03:46,751
Mm.
73
00:03:57,948 --> 00:04:00,173
Hey, you. Jodie: Hey, you.
74
00:04:00,175 --> 00:04:02,025
Hi. Uh-oh.
75
00:04:02,027 --> 00:04:03,934
I know that "hi."
What's wrong?
76
00:04:03,936 --> 00:04:05,287
I'm so sorry to do
this last minute,
77
00:04:05,289 --> 00:04:07,772
but I'm not gonna be able to
make it to our session today.
78
00:04:07,774 --> 00:04:09,106
My kid is sick.
79
00:04:09,108 --> 00:04:10,458
Take it off my series, though.
80
00:04:10,460 --> 00:04:12,035
No, no, no. Don't even
worry about it, no.
81
00:04:12,037 --> 00:04:13,520
I know you got a
lot on your plate.
82
00:04:13,522 --> 00:04:16,039
Half greens, quarter protein,
and a quarter carbs...
83
00:04:16,041 --> 00:04:17,632
Complex, not
simple. Not simple.
84
00:04:18,860 --> 00:04:19,950
Dan: I'm gonna blow again!
85
00:04:19,952 --> 00:04:21,044
Need another trash can!
86
00:04:21,046 --> 00:04:22,529
I'll be there in just a minute!
87
00:04:22,531 --> 00:04:24,139
But
I'm running in place.
88
00:04:24,141 --> 00:04:25,532
I'll lose the last
pound from home.
89
00:04:25,534 --> 00:04:27,216
How about those
jumping jack twists
90
00:04:27,218 --> 00:04:28,310
that I'm trademarking
for my program?
91
00:04:28,312 --> 00:04:30,145
They will blast the calories.
92
00:04:30,147 --> 00:04:32,038
Here we go. And
jack and twist!
93
00:04:32,040 --> 00:04:33,056
And jack and twist!
94
00:04:33,058 --> 00:04:34,891
Jack! Twist! Jack! Twist!
95
00:04:34,893 --> 00:04:36,059
Too late!
96
00:04:36,061 --> 00:04:37,544
Ugh. I'll call you back.
97
00:04:37,546 --> 00:04:38,728
High knees!
98
00:04:38,730 --> 00:04:40,471
Keep those knees high,
and I'm gonna send you
99
00:04:40,473 --> 00:04:42,157
a home workout video
that I recorded.
100
00:04:42,159 --> 00:04:44,050
Little glitch... It
plays upside down,
101
00:04:44,052 --> 00:04:45,718
but otherwise, it's cool.
102
00:04:49,315 --> 00:04:50,481
Oh, uh...
103
00:04:50,483 --> 00:04:52,834
No, I-I'm Luke's mother.
I'm not trespassing.
104
00:04:52,836 --> 00:04:54,002
No, I know, Mrs. Lakier.
105
00:04:54,004 --> 00:04:55,395
Security recognizes you now.
106
00:04:55,397 --> 00:04:56,913
Quick thing. Man...
107
00:04:56,915 --> 00:04:58,155
Hey.
108
00:04:58,157 --> 00:04:59,749
Uh, today at recess,
the kids were playing
109
00:04:59,751 --> 00:05:02,919
in their cars on the playground,
and Macy cut Luke off,
110
00:05:02,921 --> 00:05:04,571
drove in front of
him, bumped into him,
111
00:05:04,573 --> 00:05:07,240
and he called her a
"bleeping bleep bleep."
112
00:05:07,242 --> 00:05:10,334
Well, I mean, is she a
bleeping bleep bleep?
113
00:05:10,336 --> 00:05:12,579
Let's just say she's
not a good driver
114
00:05:12,581 --> 00:05:16,099
and too old to pronounce
the word animal "aminal,"
115
00:05:16,101 --> 00:05:17,433
but regardless,
116
00:05:17,435 --> 00:05:19,419
we try and encourage
our students to be kind
117
00:05:19,421 --> 00:05:21,363
and fill each others'
buckets with positivity.
118
00:05:21,365 --> 00:05:23,347
Shoot. Did Luke need
a bucket for school?
119
00:05:23,349 --> 00:05:25,441
No, it's a metaphorical bucket.
120
00:05:25,443 --> 00:05:28,094
Okay, well, that's way cheaper.
121
00:05:28,096 --> 00:05:30,038
Yeah. So when this
sort of thing happens,
122
00:05:30,040 --> 00:05:31,522
we usually find
that it's because
123
00:05:31,524 --> 00:05:34,876
the child is parroting
something they hear at home.
124
00:05:34,878 --> 00:05:36,452
Okay, so you mean
like a babysitter?
125
00:05:36,454 --> 00:05:39,547
Oh, no, no, no, no.
We love Gloria here.
126
00:05:39,549 --> 00:05:40,456
Please say hi.
127
00:05:40,458 --> 00:05:42,199
This is a more recent change.
128
00:05:42,201 --> 00:05:44,444
Puberty. Nope,
that's a ways off.
129
00:05:44,446 --> 00:05:46,370
Well, I developed
very early, okay?
130
00:05:46,372 --> 00:05:47,463
I mean, it was great at first.
131
00:05:47,465 --> 00:05:49,465
It was kind of fun and exciting,
132
00:05:49,467 --> 00:05:52,969
and then changing in gym class
got a little... you know.
133
00:05:52,971 --> 00:05:54,470
I'm sure it was.
134
00:05:54,472 --> 00:05:56,656
So, uh, not to assign
blame... Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
135
00:05:56,658 --> 00:06:00,235
But it's probably a
parent Luke's parroting.
136
00:06:00,237 --> 00:06:03,479
Mm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
137
00:06:11,990 --> 00:06:13,473
Okay, I'm gonna go,
138
00:06:13,475 --> 00:06:15,308
'cause these kids aren't
gonna wipe themselves.
139
00:06:15,310 --> 00:06:17,310
Okay, hey, I will...
I'll talk to Luke's dad
140
00:06:17,312 --> 00:06:18,402
about being a better role model.
141
00:06:18,404 --> 00:06:20,685
He's a real loose cannon, okay?
142
00:06:23,075 --> 00:06:24,742
Wait, why did I come here?
143
00:06:24,744 --> 00:06:26,169
Oh, God. Luke.
144
00:06:26,171 --> 00:06:28,504
You get it.
145
00:06:31,584 --> 00:06:32,508
Hey, Bri.
146
00:06:32,510 --> 00:06:36,086
I got you some
groceries at Fields.
147
00:06:36,088 --> 00:06:37,105
Hi. Hey.
148
00:06:37,107 --> 00:06:38,514
These are all about to expire,
149
00:06:38,516 --> 00:06:41,091
so if I were you, I'd
get on it. Oh, wow.
150
00:06:41,093 --> 00:06:42,944
Thank you. You
are spoiling us.
151
00:06:42,946 --> 00:06:44,020
Where's Lila?
152
00:06:44,022 --> 00:06:46,096
Napping, I hope.
153
00:06:46,098 --> 00:06:47,190
That cheap baby monitor I got
154
00:06:47,192 --> 00:06:49,433
only picks up the
neighbor's Ring cam.
155
00:06:49,435 --> 00:06:51,177
I think the wife's
having an affair.
156
00:06:51,179 --> 00:06:53,455
The pest guy stays
there way too long.
157
00:06:53,457 --> 00:06:54,457
What a mess.
158
00:06:54,607 --> 00:06:56,015
You know, I've been
meaning to clean out
159
00:06:56,017 --> 00:06:58,367
this closet for awhile.
160
00:06:58,369 --> 00:07:00,945
God, Coleen was such a slob.
161
00:07:00,947 --> 00:07:03,447
Oh, my God.
162
00:07:03,449 --> 00:07:05,858
This is the scarf! What scarf?
163
00:07:05,860 --> 00:07:07,193
Uh, the scarf.
164
00:07:07,195 --> 00:07:08,303
I don't know what
you're talking about.
165
00:07:08,305 --> 00:07:10,120
The one! The one with
the chickens on it!
166
00:07:10,122 --> 00:07:12,307
She said that you tried
to tie her up with this.
167
00:07:12,309 --> 00:07:16,202
Okay, it's roosters,
and, no, I did not.
168
00:07:16,204 --> 00:07:17,704
Unless she said it was great.
169
00:07:19,207 --> 00:07:21,040
I don't think that
"great" was the word.
170
00:07:21,042 --> 00:07:23,133
I think it was...
171
00:07:23,135 --> 00:07:26,062
"awkward, embarrassing,"
oh, and "sad."
172
00:07:26,064 --> 00:07:27,547
But it was a good story.
173
00:07:27,549 --> 00:07:29,139
That she wasn't
supposed to tell anyone.
174
00:07:29,141 --> 00:07:31,475
She didn't. Just
me, Jodie, and Amy.
175
00:07:31,477 --> 00:07:33,402
Oh. For the record,
I did a great job.
176
00:07:33,404 --> 00:07:35,163
The problem was her wrists.
177
00:07:35,165 --> 00:07:38,241
For such a thin woman,
she had very thick wrists.
178
00:07:38,243 --> 00:07:40,484
It's why she always
wore men's watches.
179
00:07:40,486 --> 00:07:42,578
You know, Brian, not
everybody's great at bondage.
180
00:07:42,580 --> 00:07:45,581
Okay, Coleen was a very
unreliable narrator.
181
00:07:45,583 --> 00:07:48,918
I will show you
exactly how good I did.
182
00:07:48,920 --> 00:07:51,571
Oh. Come on. Get in there.
183
00:07:51,573 --> 00:07:53,072
Be my guest.
184
00:07:53,074 --> 00:07:54,832
The first thing I can
tell you you did wrong
185
00:07:54,834 --> 00:07:56,242
without seeing anything
186
00:07:56,244 --> 00:07:58,019
is that you used a scarf
with chickens on it.
187
00:07:58,021 --> 00:07:59,670
Again, roosters,
188
00:07:59,672 --> 00:08:02,172
and it was the only scarf
that she'd let us ruin.
189
00:08:02,174 --> 00:08:03,399
It was a gift from my mom,
190
00:08:03,401 --> 00:08:06,102
which probably added a
creepy layer to things.
191
00:08:06,104 --> 00:08:08,104
Mm-hmm. Might be why
it didn't work out.
192
00:08:08,106 --> 00:08:09,605
And done.
193
00:08:09,607 --> 00:08:12,942
See, I don't think it
was her fat wrists,
194
00:08:12,944 --> 00:08:14,518
may they rest in peace.
195
00:08:14,520 --> 00:08:15,595
I think it was you.
196
00:08:15,597 --> 00:08:17,113
Why don't you have
a seat... Okay.
197
00:08:17,115 --> 00:08:18,948
And I will show you
how it's actually done.
198
00:08:18,950 --> 00:08:20,524
You remember my ex, Diana.
199
00:08:20,526 --> 00:08:21,859
Mm-hmm. She was a freak.
200
00:08:21,861 --> 00:08:24,136
Couldn't tie her legs
together. You know what I mean?
201
00:08:24,138 --> 00:08:26,030
So, uh... Oh.
202
00:08:26,032 --> 00:08:28,124
What else did Coleen
tell you about me?
203
00:08:28,126 --> 00:08:30,868
Um, that you cry at rom-coms,
204
00:08:30,870 --> 00:08:32,962
uh, you love the
Dave Matthews Band,
205
00:08:32,964 --> 00:08:34,297
and that you sit when you pee.
206
00:08:34,299 --> 00:08:36,224
Every man does when
no one's around.
207
00:08:36,226 --> 00:08:38,542
You have a blankie named Bolly.
208
00:08:38,544 --> 00:08:41,637
You barricade the doors at
night in case of an intruder.
209
00:08:41,639 --> 00:08:43,456
Because zombies.
210
00:08:43,458 --> 00:08:44,307
Yeah.
211
00:08:44,309 --> 00:08:45,975
Amy: Alright, heads up, Luke.
212
00:08:45,977 --> 00:08:48,311
Glass incoming.
213
00:08:48,313 --> 00:08:51,906
Watch where you're
going, you... nice man.
214
00:08:51,908 --> 00:08:53,482
You very nice man.
215
00:08:53,484 --> 00:08:56,152
Mommy, you're not gonna
take that, are you?
216
00:08:56,154 --> 00:08:58,562
I am. I am gonna bend over
and I am gonna take it,
217
00:08:58,564 --> 00:09:01,140
because that's what we
do when people upset us.
218
00:09:01,142 --> 00:09:03,142
Mother...
219
00:09:03,144 --> 00:09:06,754
of two is what I am.
220
00:09:06,756 --> 00:09:08,756
Okay.
221
00:09:08,758 --> 00:09:11,426
This is so hard.
222
00:09:15,840 --> 00:09:17,173
There you go. Lunge. Lunge.
223
00:09:17,175 --> 00:09:18,582
That's right. 90-degree angle!
224
00:09:18,584 --> 00:09:20,435
You guys are doing
great. Sweet, okay.
225
00:09:20,437 --> 00:09:22,678
For this next one, you
can use any household item
226
00:09:22,680 --> 00:09:24,755
if you don't have
any weights at home.
227
00:09:24,757 --> 00:09:26,833
I like to use a large
bottle of shampoo.
228
00:09:26,835 --> 00:09:29,259
We're just gonna do
some tricep extensions.
229
00:09:29,261 --> 00:09:31,279
Oh, you're walking.
230
00:09:31,281 --> 00:09:33,022
And there's color in your face.
231
00:09:33,024 --> 00:09:36,025
Yeah, I think the
last of it is out.
232
00:09:36,027 --> 00:09:37,844
The tea you made really helped.
233
00:09:37,846 --> 00:09:40,163
Aww. Thank you.
234
00:09:41,182 --> 00:09:42,940
I think it was food poisoning.
235
00:09:42,942 --> 00:09:46,352
I might have eaten some
bad Shrimp Louie yesterday.
236
00:09:46,354 --> 00:09:47,962
Not Petruzzo's.
237
00:09:47,964 --> 00:09:49,297
Petruzzo's. Oh, my God!
238
00:09:49,299 --> 00:09:51,281
That is so gross! Dan!
239
00:09:51,283 --> 00:09:53,301
They gave me back my coat
and there was a mouse
240
00:09:53,303 --> 00:09:55,194
eating a tissue in the pocket!
241
00:09:55,196 --> 00:09:57,138
I have never seen
you scream like that.
242
00:09:57,140 --> 00:09:59,957
Your face was just
an open mouth.
243
00:10:01,645 --> 00:10:03,035
Yeah, just like that. No!
244
00:10:06,298 --> 00:10:08,316
I promise, next anniversary,
245
00:10:08,318 --> 00:10:09,633
I will choose a restaurant
246
00:10:09,635 --> 00:10:12,153
where the rodents stay
safely on the floor.
247
00:10:16,050 --> 00:10:17,975
Oh, the laughter, it's
j-jostling the, uh...
248
00:10:17,977 --> 00:10:19,810
warm shrimp.
249
00:10:19,812 --> 00:10:21,721
Good
luck up there.
250
00:10:52,253 --> 00:10:53,528
She originally
started dating you
251
00:10:53,530 --> 00:10:56,272
because of the
free frozen yogurt.
252
00:10:56,274 --> 00:10:59,850
But then she fell
madly in love with me?
253
00:10:59,852 --> 00:11:02,111
Deeply, deeply, madly.
254
00:11:02,113 --> 00:11:04,780
You were all she talked about.
255
00:11:04,782 --> 00:11:05,873
And I'm done.
256
00:11:05,875 --> 00:11:08,434
Mm. Try to get
out of that one.
257
00:11:08,436 --> 00:11:10,436
Yeah, okay.
258
00:11:10,438 --> 00:11:11,771
Oh.
259
00:11:11,773 --> 00:11:12,863
Oh.
260
00:11:12,865 --> 00:11:14,031
Wow.
261
00:11:14,033 --> 00:11:15,199
You're really good at this.
262
00:11:15,201 --> 00:11:17,601
You should get into kidnapping.
263
00:11:18,296 --> 00:11:20,780
So, tell me something
she said about me.
264
00:11:20,782 --> 00:11:24,541
I mean, she was just
really proud of you.
265
00:11:24,543 --> 00:11:28,471
You had such an important
job, saving people.
266
00:11:28,473 --> 00:11:33,125
Touching all those gross
body parts, all those fluids.
267
00:11:33,127 --> 00:11:34,310
That's it?
268
00:11:34,312 --> 00:11:37,054
Well, she thought you
looked great in scrubs.
269
00:11:38,224 --> 00:11:40,316
She thought you were
a superhero, you know?
270
00:11:40,318 --> 00:11:42,410
Sarah Man.
271
00:11:42,412 --> 00:11:44,579
She was really proud
of you being a doctor.
272
00:11:46,565 --> 00:11:49,792
Okay, well, I'm gonna
go bag groceries now.
273
00:11:52,163 --> 00:11:53,904
Are you mad? I'm
picking up a tone.
274
00:11:53,906 --> 00:11:56,257
You just told me Coleen was proud
of me because I was a doctor,
275
00:11:56,259 --> 00:11:58,334
and now I'm not
a doctor anymore,
276
00:11:58,336 --> 00:12:00,410
so my feelings are hurt.
277
00:12:00,412 --> 00:12:01,596
Oh.
278
00:12:01,598 --> 00:12:03,172
I'm... I'm sorry.
279
00:12:03,174 --> 00:12:04,840
Was there anything
else she was proud of?
280
00:12:04,842 --> 00:12:08,585
I'm... I'm sure there were
a lot of things, I just...
281
00:12:08,587 --> 00:12:12,256
can't think of them right now
with you look at me like that.
282
00:12:12,258 --> 00:12:14,609
See you later, Bri.
283
00:12:16,262 --> 00:12:18,838
Oh, hey. I think you
forgot something.
284
00:12:18,840 --> 00:12:20,006
Sarah!
285
00:12:20,008 --> 00:12:21,240
Sarah.
286
00:12:23,286 --> 00:12:24,268
Sarah?
287
00:12:24,270 --> 00:12:26,862
Okay.
288
00:12:26,864 --> 00:12:28,197
Hey, how was your day?
289
00:12:28,199 --> 00:12:30,774
Oh, it was, um... My...
My day was wonderful.
290
00:12:30,776 --> 00:12:33,702
Everyone was very
nice and... Oh, good.
291
00:12:33,704 --> 00:12:35,204
Glad you have your guitar out.
292
00:12:35,206 --> 00:12:38,149
Yeah, just grippin' and riffin'.
293
00:12:38,151 --> 00:12:40,468
Doing that thang.
294
00:12:40,470 --> 00:12:41,527
So hey, hey, hey.
295
00:12:41,529 --> 00:12:43,212
So, Mr. Higgins tells me today
296
00:12:43,214 --> 00:12:45,047
that our kids repeat
everything that we say,
297
00:12:45,049 --> 00:12:46,474
and Luke has just been
dropping bleep-bombs
298
00:12:46,476 --> 00:12:47,809
all around the playground.
299
00:12:47,811 --> 00:12:49,368
Yeah. Wonder where
he got that from.
300
00:12:49,370 --> 00:12:51,312
Yeah, well, I told him
I'd have a chat with you.
301
00:12:51,314 --> 00:12:53,372
Right, you traced the
problem back to me.
302
00:12:53,374 --> 00:12:55,299
Thank you. Okay, let's stop
303
00:12:55,301 --> 00:12:57,301
pointing fingers at
each other, okay?
304
00:12:57,303 --> 00:12:58,544
Higgins is the
real problem here.
305
00:12:58,546 --> 00:13:01,805
He's a real piece
of... sheet cake.
306
00:13:01,807 --> 00:13:05,568
So sheet cake, Luke, is
a wonderful, um, dessert
307
00:13:05,570 --> 00:13:09,163
enjoyed by educators
in all countries.
308
00:13:16,731 --> 00:13:18,898
Alright, I gotta write
my feelings down.
309
00:13:18,900 --> 00:13:20,174
Luke, I'm borrowing
your notebook.
310
00:13:20,176 --> 00:13:22,176
We could go up
on it. You could.
311
00:13:29,185 --> 00:13:31,369
Yeah, that writes itself.
312
00:13:40,864 --> 00:13:43,105
So, you know, it's
great. It's so good.
313
00:13:43,107 --> 00:13:44,848
Um, you know what
I was thinking?
314
00:13:44,850 --> 00:13:47,517
Your playing is so delightful
that maybe we save it up
315
00:13:47,519 --> 00:13:50,204
as a surprise and
do a recital...
316
00:13:50,206 --> 00:13:51,614
You do a recital at
the end of the month.
317
00:13:51,616 --> 00:13:53,875
I mean, that's...
Yeah, that's so nice.
318
00:13:53,877 --> 00:13:55,543
Yeah. Yeah. I
might not be ar...
319
00:13:55,545 --> 00:13:57,527
I think, I'm looking through
my calendar right now,
320
00:13:57,529 --> 00:13:59,438
and I don't think I'm around
at the end of the month.
321
00:14:07,131 --> 00:14:09,115
Thank you for
shopping at Fields.
322
00:14:09,117 --> 00:14:11,117
You have a great day.
323
00:14:11,119 --> 00:14:12,226
Hey, I've been
trying to call you.
324
00:14:12,228 --> 00:14:13,895
You're not picking up.
325
00:14:13,897 --> 00:14:16,288
Well, because we're
in a fight, Brian.
326
00:14:16,290 --> 00:14:17,473
Why are we in a fight?
327
00:14:17,475 --> 00:14:19,216
I'm mad at you because
I'm mad at myself
328
00:14:19,218 --> 00:14:21,885
for quitting the thing that
Coleen was most proud of.
329
00:14:21,887 --> 00:14:23,887
And it's just easier
to be mad at you.
330
00:14:23,889 --> 00:14:25,631
I get it. Coleen
used to get mad at me
331
00:14:25,633 --> 00:14:27,633
when she was mad
at herself, too.
332
00:14:27,635 --> 00:14:28,892
Yeah, I know that.
333
00:14:28,894 --> 00:14:30,912
I remembered something
she was proud of you for.
334
00:14:30,914 --> 00:14:33,748
It's too late. Just... What?
335
00:14:33,750 --> 00:14:36,066
She was really proud when
you ran that six-minute mile
336
00:14:36,068 --> 00:14:37,734
for a high-school fitness test.
337
00:14:37,736 --> 00:14:41,255
I mean, she said it was the
fastest time that anyone did.
338
00:14:41,257 --> 00:14:43,407
I didn't do that.
339
00:14:43,409 --> 00:14:44,500
I cheated.
340
00:14:44,502 --> 00:14:47,153
I've never cheated on
anything in my life.
341
00:14:47,155 --> 00:14:49,579
I paid a girl to shave
a minute off my time.
342
00:14:49,581 --> 00:14:52,007
I was trying to impress
our gym teacher.
343
00:14:52,009 --> 00:14:53,917
Darn her beautiful breasts!
344
00:14:53,919 --> 00:14:56,103
Now I'm mad at
myself again, okay?
345
00:14:56,105 --> 00:14:57,830
So just go.
346
00:14:57,832 --> 00:14:59,498
You know, I forgot, I
was gonna get some milk,
347
00:14:59,500 --> 00:15:02,060
but I'll just pick some
up at the gas station.
348
00:15:08,952 --> 00:15:12,269
Guys, can you meet me at the
high-school track in an hour?
349
00:15:12,271 --> 00:15:14,104
I want to run the mile
in under six minutes,
350
00:15:14,106 --> 00:15:15,289
but I don't want to do it alone,
351
00:15:15,291 --> 00:15:16,940
since the girl who's been
missing for five years
352
00:15:16,942 --> 00:15:18,684
was last seen there.
353
00:15:33,810 --> 00:15:36,035
Oh, dear Lord.
Oh, Mr. Higgins.
354
00:15:36,037 --> 00:15:37,536
You're early.
Should we come back?
355
00:15:37,538 --> 00:15:39,388
This feels like a
"come back" moment.
356
00:15:39,390 --> 00:15:41,874
No, no, no, no. Please,
come in. Have a seat.
357
00:15:41,876 --> 00:15:43,375
We really need to
talk about Luke.
358
00:15:43,377 --> 00:15:48,155
Um, with
our... with our tops off or...?
359
00:15:48,157 --> 00:15:50,232
Don't make me send you to
the principal's office.
360
00:15:50,234 --> 00:15:52,551
Why? She doing hot yoga?
361
00:15:53,479 --> 00:15:55,404
I'm just gonna get to the point.
362
00:15:55,406 --> 00:15:58,574
Uh, Luke brought in a poem
to read for show and tell.
363
00:15:58,576 --> 00:16:00,726
Aww. How about Luke.
Hey. That's great.
364
00:16:00,728 --> 00:16:03,412
"Higgins is a
bleeping prude..." Oh.
365
00:16:03,414 --> 00:16:05,397
"whose bleep is
clenched so tight,
366
00:16:05,399 --> 00:16:07,842
he can make
bleeping diamonds."
367
00:16:07,844 --> 00:16:09,084
Non-rhyming poem.
368
00:16:09,086 --> 00:16:11,070
Luke stole my notebook.
369
00:16:11,072 --> 00:16:12,496
That is the bigger issue here.
370
00:16:12,498 --> 00:16:15,474
So you also have
problems with your W's.
371
00:16:16,577 --> 00:16:19,854
I do. I-I-I really
struggle with that.
372
00:16:21,082 --> 00:16:24,633
Look, Mr. Higgins, I'm sure you can
see the... the humor in all of this.
373
00:16:24,635 --> 00:16:26,919
Mm-hmm. I hope you can,
too. There is more.
374
00:16:26,921 --> 00:16:28,863
No. "Henry is
playing the guitar
375
00:16:28,865 --> 00:16:30,923
and making that bleeping face,
376
00:16:30,925 --> 00:16:34,410
and I want to rip it off
and shove it up his bleep."
377
00:16:35,187 --> 00:16:36,353
Okay, you know what?
378
00:16:36,355 --> 00:16:37,854
I think we can say
"ass," alright?
379
00:16:37,856 --> 00:16:39,189
It's an animal, and it
was heavily featured
380
00:16:39,191 --> 00:16:41,375
in the Christmas
story, if I recall.
381
00:16:41,377 --> 00:16:44,286
She didn't write
"ass." I gathered that.
382
00:16:48,609 --> 00:16:50,609
Wow, you really don't
like my guitar face.
383
00:16:50,611 --> 00:16:52,611
Oh, please do not
be so sensitive.
384
00:16:52,613 --> 00:16:54,805
Your texting face
isn't so great, either.
385
00:16:56,208 --> 00:16:59,543
Henry, that is
hurtful. I'm a lady.
386
00:16:59,545 --> 00:17:01,228
Yeah, well. You
talk like a sailor.
387
00:17:01,230 --> 00:17:02,471
You got to filter yourself.
388
00:17:02,473 --> 00:17:04,732
Oh, w... I have
to filter myself?
389
00:17:04,734 --> 00:17:06,716
Are you kidding me? You
don't filter yourself.
390
00:17:06,718 --> 00:17:10,053
Yeah, I do. I filter
myself all the time.
391
00:17:10,055 --> 00:17:12,389
Morning, noon,
especially right now.
392
00:17:12,391 --> 00:17:14,483
Okay, well, some
of us aren't fake.
393
00:17:14,485 --> 00:17:15,409
This is who I am.
394
00:17:15,411 --> 00:17:17,303
Why should I change
for the kids?
395
00:17:17,305 --> 00:17:19,488
I was here first. Very mature.
396
00:17:19,490 --> 00:17:20,639
You're very mature.
397
00:17:20,641 --> 00:17:23,325
Look, no one's saying
you can't be you,
398
00:17:23,327 --> 00:17:25,068
just button it up
around the kids.
399
00:17:26,497 --> 00:17:28,497
I'm gonna go. I have
a guitar recital
400
00:17:28,499 --> 00:17:30,833
to practice for. Oh, lucky us.
401
00:17:30,835 --> 00:17:32,484
I love you. I love you, too.
402
00:17:32,486 --> 00:17:34,744
I have faith in you.
No, don't have faith.
403
00:17:34,746 --> 00:17:36,338
Nobody needs faith.
404
00:17:46,183 --> 00:17:47,683
I'm binging. Don't judge me.
405
00:17:47,685 --> 00:17:50,444
Did you know you can't
curse in front of your kids?
406
00:17:50,446 --> 00:17:51,445
Well, yes.
407
00:17:51,447 --> 00:17:53,672
I mean, have you
never read one...
408
00:17:53,674 --> 00:17:55,599
I'm sorry. I was gonna
say "parenting book."
409
00:17:55,601 --> 00:17:56,933
I mean, if I knew
that I had to be
410
00:17:56,935 --> 00:17:58,435
a good influence
for these things,
411
00:17:58,437 --> 00:18:00,012
I don't... I wouldn't
have signed up for this.
412
00:18:00,014 --> 00:18:01,605
If I had known that Dan was
gonna get food poisoning
413
00:18:01,607 --> 00:18:02,939
and remind me of the
nice Dan I married,
414
00:18:02,941 --> 00:18:04,291
I might not have kissed Matt.
415
00:18:04,293 --> 00:18:06,869
You kissed Matt? Mm-hmm.
416
00:18:06,871 --> 00:18:09,296
Are you
guys gonna do it?
417
00:18:09,298 --> 00:18:11,114
I was maybe going to
if I lost eight pounds,
418
00:18:11,116 --> 00:18:12,466
which I am dangerously close to.
419
00:18:12,468 --> 00:18:15,469
Oh, you're training
for an affair. Got it.
420
00:18:15,471 --> 00:18:16,620
Shush! Shh!
421
00:18:16,622 --> 00:18:18,639
Oh, a little. I guess
people can change.
422
00:18:18,641 --> 00:18:20,457
I never would have
pegged you for somebody
423
00:18:20,459 --> 00:18:22,885
who would put themselves first.
424
00:18:22,887 --> 00:18:24,461
Well, I never pegged
you as someone
425
00:18:24,463 --> 00:18:26,038
who would put her kids first.
426
00:18:26,040 --> 00:18:28,798
You're doin' it,
girl! Great hustle!
427
00:18:28,800 --> 00:18:30,559
Look at you!
428
00:18:30,561 --> 00:18:32,227
Yeah, you know what? I
think my kids would be
429
00:18:32,229 --> 00:18:33,303
better off without me.
430
00:18:33,305 --> 00:18:35,990
I can't control myself.
431
00:18:35,992 --> 00:18:37,474
Oh, my God.
432
00:18:37,476 --> 00:18:39,551
You think my kids would
be better off without me?
433
00:18:39,553 --> 00:18:40,569
I never said that.
434
00:18:40,571 --> 00:18:41,662
Yeah, but you never
said the wouldn't.
435
00:18:41,664 --> 00:18:43,238
Well, you used to not
care what I thought.
436
00:18:43,240 --> 00:18:44,907
Well, I still don't
care what you think,
437
00:18:44,909 --> 00:18:46,316
but I mean, you could blow
a little smoke up my ass.
438
00:18:46,318 --> 00:18:48,060
Oh, shoot, am I a bad
person if I have an affair?
439
00:18:48,062 --> 00:18:49,411
Am I gonna have
to say "shoot" now
440
00:18:49,413 --> 00:18:51,563
when I slam my
finger in a drawer?
441
00:18:51,565 --> 00:18:53,081
You've got this!
442
00:18:53,083 --> 00:18:54,750
Really good hustle!
443
00:18:54,752 --> 00:18:56,677
You know what? I'm gonna
get my act together
444
00:18:56,679 --> 00:18:58,328
and I'm gonna be a good
role model for my kids,
445
00:18:58,330 --> 00:18:59,571
because you think I can't.
446
00:18:59,573 --> 00:19:01,665
You're gonna be a
mother just to spite me?
447
00:19:01,667 --> 00:19:03,333
Well, I need incentive.
448
00:19:03,335 --> 00:19:04,760
Okay.
449
00:19:04,762 --> 00:19:07,596
I'm gonna cheat on Dan just
'cause you don't think I would.
450
00:19:07,598 --> 00:19:10,082
To spite me? Yeah.
451
00:19:10,084 --> 00:19:11,250
No.
452
00:19:11,252 --> 00:19:12,342
Because it was the
greatest kiss ever,
453
00:19:12,344 --> 00:19:14,436
and he's really stinkin' hot.
454
00:19:14,438 --> 00:19:15,437
Stinkin'?
455
00:19:15,439 --> 00:19:16,714
No, I can't say "stinkin'."
456
00:19:16,716 --> 00:19:17,940
I can't. I can't do that.
457
00:19:17,942 --> 00:19:21,452
Oh, God. I need an
outlet for this anger.
458
00:19:22,538 --> 00:19:25,372
Wha... What was my time?!
459
00:19:25,374 --> 00:19:28,191
Um, uh, what... What
were you trying to beat?
460
00:19:28,193 --> 00:19:29,601
Six minutes!
461
00:19:29,603 --> 00:19:30,285
Oh! Oh, well!
462
00:19:30,287 --> 00:19:32,379
Well, it's 5:51! Yeah!
463
00:19:32,381 --> 00:19:35,107
Yes!
464
00:19:35,109 --> 00:19:37,200
Coleen, I did it!
465
00:19:37,202 --> 00:19:40,796
I'm not a doctor anymore,
but I did the other thing!
466
00:19:44,894 --> 00:19:46,894
Well, let's go
congratulate this nutbag.
467
00:19:46,896 --> 00:19:48,620
Don't say "nutbag."
It's not PC. What?
468
00:19:48,622 --> 00:19:49,897
Don't ever say it
around your kids.
469
00:20:06,582 --> 00:20:07,656
I don't see a face.
470
00:20:07,658 --> 00:20:08,916
I don't know what
she's talking about.
471
00:20:08,918 --> 00:20:10,251
Yeah?
472
00:20:10,253 --> 00:20:11,418
I just see a sexy
guy doing sexy stuff.
473
00:20:11,420 --> 00:20:13,069
Yeah, that's what I thought.
474
00:20:13,071 --> 00:20:14,480
Mind if I get in
this a little bit?
475
00:20:14,482 --> 00:20:15,481
Let me hit it.
476
00:20:24,341 --> 00:20:26,583
Whoo! All I see is a rock god.
477
00:20:26,585 --> 00:20:27,993
Thanks. Run this baby back?
478
00:20:27,995 --> 00:20:30,329
Let's back this up. Let's
double team this dream.
479
00:20:30,331 --> 00:20:31,254
Mm.
480
00:20:41,509 --> 00:20:42,357
Oh, man.
481
00:20:42,359 --> 00:20:43,450
Yeah, I think Lila's awake.
482
00:20:43,452 --> 00:20:45,935
Uh, she's gonna
want to hear this.
483
00:20:45,937 --> 00:20:47,270
Two, three, four.
484
00:21:05,975 --> 00:21:07,957
You dumb
485
00:21:07,959 --> 00:21:10,794
Use your blinker if
you're gonna make a turn.
486
00:21:10,796 --> 00:21:14,039
If you're turning to the
right, use the right blinker,
487
00:21:14,041 --> 00:21:17,300
you
488
00:21:17,302 --> 00:21:18,968
What's wrong with her?
489
00:21:18,970 --> 00:21:21,137
She's a role model.
490
00:21:21,139 --> 00:21:22,305
I feel better.35613
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