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1
00:01:32,280 --> 00:01:34,953
A Rolls-Royce is the ambition
2
00:01:35,040 --> 00:01:37,554
of most newly qualified doctors,
3
00:01:37,640 --> 00:01:40,359
and, preferably,
a Harley Street address.
4
00:01:40,440 --> 00:01:44,592
I was practising medicine
in more humble circumstances,
5
00:01:44,680 --> 00:01:49,595
and neither my new diploma
nor my old car had got me very far.
6
00:01:54,960 --> 00:01:56,916
- Thank you.
- Thats all right.
7
00:01:57,000 --> 00:01:59,753
Always a pleasure
to help a colleague.
8
00:01:59,840 --> 00:02:02,593
I was a junior assistant
in general practice -
9
00:02:02,680 --> 00:02:05,558
the medical equivalent
of a plumbers mate.
10
00:02:05,640 --> 00:02:10,111
My partner thought l needed more
experience. So did my patients.
11
00:02:11,080 --> 00:02:15,358
He divided the work. l did
the surgery, night calls and rounds
12
00:02:15,440 --> 00:02:17,954
and he looked after
the social side.
13
00:02:18,040 --> 00:02:22,397
- Ah, Simon. Late, arent we?
- The Williams boys got tonsillitis.
14
00:02:22,480 --> 00:02:25,631
Itll clear up.
Youll take surgery, wont you?
15
00:02:25,720 --> 00:02:28,837
I have a consultation.
They need me urgently.
16
00:02:28,920 --> 00:02:30,876
- All right.
- Thank you.
17
00:02:35,480 --> 00:02:39,473
The doctor had a daughter.
A healthy girl - Wendy.
18
00:02:39,560 --> 00:02:41,516
- Do you mind?
- O.
19
00:02:41,600 --> 00:02:43,636
Delicious, as always, dear.
20
00:02:43,720 --> 00:02:48,077
Its time you got married, my boy.
Patients prefer married doctors.
21
00:02:48,160 --> 00:02:50,116
- They feel safer.
- Yes.
22
00:02:50,200 --> 00:02:52,350
Theres plenty of time for that.
23
00:02:52,440 --> 00:02:55,398
Do you mind if l go?
The picture starts at 8:10.
24
00:02:55,480 --> 00:02:59,359
Are you going to the pictures?
Wendys going, too, arent you?
25
00:02:59,440 --> 00:03:01,795
- Why not go together?
- Ld love to.
26
00:03:01,880 --> 00:03:03,836
A pleasure.
27
00:03:03,920 --> 00:03:05,956
How lovely. ow, be good.
28
00:03:08,120 --> 00:03:12,750
The patients might feel safer,
but l didnt - not with Wendy.
29
00:03:12,840 --> 00:03:16,230
Oh, Simon. lts you. l heard a noise.
30
00:03:16,320 --> 00:03:19,392
I thought it might be burglars.
Are you working?
31
00:03:19,480 --> 00:03:22,358
Yes. Your father left
a lot of forms to do.
32
00:03:22,440 --> 00:03:25,637
Aughty Daddy. ever mind.
Lll help you.
33
00:03:25,720 --> 00:03:28,553
Its quite all right, Wendy.
I can manage.
34
00:03:29,720 --> 00:03:31,756
Oh! Have you got a headache?
35
00:03:31,840 --> 00:03:34,912
- Yes, l have, rather.
- L... lll rub your neck.
36
00:03:35,000 --> 00:03:38,549
- Ld much prefer you didnt.
- Oh, but lm good at this.
37
00:03:38,640 --> 00:03:42,315
- Where do you feel tense?
- All over. l wish you wouldnt.
38
00:03:42,400 --> 00:03:45,517
Oh, Simon.
I knew it was only shyness.
39
00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:48,751
- A-ha.
- A-ha!
40
00:03:50,200 --> 00:03:52,919
An immediate operation
was necessary.
41
00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:56,879
Like many better men before me,
l ran away to sea.
42
00:03:56,960 --> 00:04:01,476
I got a job as a ships doctor
on the SS Lotus of the Fathom Line,
43
00:04:01,560 --> 00:04:03,869
but first of all,
l had to find her.
44
00:04:03,960 --> 00:04:07,475
Officer, can you tell me
where the Lotus is berthed?
45
00:04:07,560 --> 00:04:09,755
- Umber 15, the Lotus.
- Umber 15?
46
00:04:09,840 --> 00:04:12,274
- Ew to these docks?
- Ew to any docks.
47
00:04:12,360 --> 00:04:15,636
Oh, well, go straight on
till you come to that light.
48
00:04:15,720 --> 00:04:20,350
Turn left and carry on till you come
to two lorries by the watchmans hut.
49
00:04:20,440 --> 00:04:23,671
Turn right, up the steps,
down the narrow path,
50
00:04:23,760 --> 00:04:26,638
past the first two ships
and its the third -
51
00:04:26,720 --> 00:04:29,359
about two miles as the crow flies.
52
00:04:30,440 --> 00:04:33,159
They say that worse things
happen at sea
53
00:04:33,240 --> 00:04:36,710
but what could be worse
than being landed with Wendy?
54
00:04:36,800 --> 00:04:40,679
The Lotus had one great advantage -
she carried no passengers
55
00:04:40,760 --> 00:04:42,990
and that meant no women.
56
00:04:43,320 --> 00:04:45,276
- The doctor.
- Come on in, Doc.
57
00:04:45,360 --> 00:04:48,477
- Lm Hornbeam, Mate of this tub.
- How do you do?
58
00:04:48,560 --> 00:04:51,791
Found us all right?
Mr Archer, Second Officer.
59
00:04:51,880 --> 00:04:56,829
Mr Whimble, Chief Steward.
Hes in charge of the booze.
60
00:04:56,920 --> 00:05:00,151
- Trail, our 3-0.
- Hello, Doc. What sent you to sea?
61
00:05:00,240 --> 00:05:02,310
- Wine, women or crime?
- Women, mostly.
62
00:05:02,400 --> 00:05:03,799
- Married?
- O.
63
00:05:03,880 --> 00:05:07,270
Keep it that way.
Wives and waves dont mix, old boy.
64
00:05:07,360 --> 00:05:11,319
Oh, behind the chimney stack
is Fellowes, our apprentice.
65
00:05:11,400 --> 00:05:14,119
- Seventeen on Sunday.
- Ice to meet you.
66
00:05:14,200 --> 00:05:16,191
Ice to have a young doc aboard.
67
00:05:16,280 --> 00:05:19,955
They told you about
the last one, Flowerday, l suppose?
68
00:05:20,960 --> 00:05:23,713
- O, they didnt.
- O? Oh.
69
00:05:23,800 --> 00:05:27,634
Oh, well, never mind.
Are you just out of medical school?
70
00:05:27,720 --> 00:05:30,234
O, lve been in practice
for two years.
71
00:05:30,320 --> 00:05:32,356
Hope youre hot on sailors troubles.
72
00:05:32,440 --> 00:05:35,432
O different to anyone elses,
are they?
73
00:05:35,520 --> 00:05:39,877
- Ahem. Would you like a cigarette?
- Thank you very much.
74
00:05:40,680 --> 00:05:45,151
I wonder if you know Sir Wallaby
Glebe, the ophthalmic surgeon?
75
00:05:45,960 --> 00:05:48,030
Er, no, lm afraid l dont.
76
00:05:48,120 --> 00:05:52,352
Oh. l do, very well.
Hes married to my cousin.
77
00:05:52,440 --> 00:05:55,034
- Oh, really?
- Whatll you drink, Doc?
78
00:05:55,120 --> 00:05:58,510
- Hadnt l better see the Captain?
- Ot tonight.
79
00:05:58,600 --> 00:06:03,469
Hes not the social type. Perhaps
because he isnt married, either.
80
00:06:03,560 --> 00:06:05,835
- either was his father!
81
00:06:08,360 --> 00:06:12,148
Good morning, Doctor.
Easter. lm the Doctors Steward.
82
00:06:12,240 --> 00:06:14,356
Oh, good morning. How do you do?
83
00:06:14,440 --> 00:06:18,194
How do you do, Doctor?
Lve a message from Father.
84
00:06:18,280 --> 00:06:20,236
- Father?
- Yes, the Captain.
85
00:06:20,320 --> 00:06:23,790
He wants a bottle of
his usual stomach mixture, pronto.
86
00:06:23,880 --> 00:06:26,314
He suffers from dyspepsia, does he?
87
00:06:26,400 --> 00:06:31,269
Oh, something chronic. When he has
a spasm, lifes not worth living.
88
00:06:31,360 --> 00:06:34,079
- Thank you very much.
- There we are, sir.
89
00:06:34,160 --> 00:06:36,913
The only stuff that squares up
his innards
90
00:06:37,000 --> 00:06:40,993
is the special mixture he got
from the late Dr Flowerday.
91
00:06:41,080 --> 00:06:43,719
Makes him bring up the wind, Doctor.
92
00:06:43,800 --> 00:06:45,950
Dr Flowerday was my predecessor?
93
00:06:46,040 --> 00:06:49,237
Oh, yes, sir. Yes.
Very satisfied he was with me,
94
00:06:49,320 --> 00:06:51,276
if l might make so bold.
95
00:06:51,360 --> 00:06:54,193
Easter, what happened
to Dr Flowerday?
96
00:06:54,280 --> 00:06:58,193
If you dont mind, sir,
ld rather not talk about it.
97
00:06:58,920 --> 00:07:01,639
- Shocking.
98
00:07:02,960 --> 00:07:04,916
Its them pipes, sir.
99
00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:07,514
You are situated
below the Captains...
100
00:07:12,040 --> 00:07:15,589
The late Dr Flowerday and l kept
all our stores in there.
101
00:07:25,120 --> 00:07:27,076
Oh!
102
00:07:29,360 --> 00:07:32,591
- Do you play, Doctor?
- L could learn, l suppose.
103
00:07:36,720 --> 00:07:41,999
Oh, the late Dr Flowerday
was very keen on tennis racketing,
104
00:07:42,080 --> 00:07:46,278
- very keen indeed.
- We seem to be very short of drugs.
105
00:07:46,360 --> 00:07:49,591
Shouldnt there be an official stock
or something?
106
00:07:51,520 --> 00:07:54,114
The late Dr Flowerday
and l had, er...
107
00:07:54,200 --> 00:07:57,670
an arrangement
over the disposal of surplus stores.
108
00:07:57,760 --> 00:07:59,751
You flogged them, you mean?
109
00:07:59,840 --> 00:08:02,149
- Spoon.
- Spoon.
110
00:08:08,560 --> 00:08:11,028
- Take a card, Doctor.
- Wait a minute.
111
00:08:11,120 --> 00:08:13,429
Come on!
112
00:08:13,520 --> 00:08:18,640
Ow look at it.
Er... the, er... five of diamonds.
113
00:08:18,720 --> 00:08:23,271
Yes. Card tricks are rather
out of place in a ships hospital.
114
00:08:23,360 --> 00:08:28,115
Kept Dr Flowerday in fits. Got narked
when he couldnt work them out.
115
00:08:28,200 --> 00:08:30,350
Well, how are they done?
116
00:08:30,440 --> 00:08:33,398
Well, they was all five of diamonds,
actually.
117
00:08:33,480 --> 00:08:38,076
Oh. You certainly know your way
around a pack of cards, Easter.
118
00:08:38,160 --> 00:08:41,596
Oh, l should say so.
Worked the halls for three years.
119
00:08:41,680 --> 00:08:46,117
Pin Yung, l was.
Famous Chinese magician!
120
00:08:46,200 --> 00:08:48,873
Here, would you like
to see my cuttings?
121
00:08:48,960 --> 00:08:52,430
O, thank you.
I cant use this. Chuck it away.
122
00:08:52,520 --> 00:08:55,751
Chuck it away? l keep everything.
It might come in useful.
123
00:09:00,320 --> 00:09:03,198
Mind your head, Doc.
Dont be your own first case!
124
00:09:06,680 --> 00:09:09,478
Good morning. Are you the butcher?
125
00:09:09,560 --> 00:09:11,949
- Yes.
- Lm the new doctor.
126
00:09:12,040 --> 00:09:16,795
Both in the same line of business,
really, arent we, Doc?
127
00:09:18,560 --> 00:09:23,156
Morning. ice-looking bird.
Is he yours?
128
00:09:23,240 --> 00:09:25,435
- Yes.
- Lm the new doctor.
129
00:09:25,520 --> 00:09:27,476
Yes, we know.
130
00:09:31,680 --> 00:09:34,990
Another flipping kid
trying to be a sailor.
131
00:09:39,720 --> 00:09:41,995
Come.
132
00:09:42,080 --> 00:09:44,548
Good morning, sir. Doctor.
133
00:09:44,640 --> 00:09:45,993
Well?
134
00:09:46,080 --> 00:09:48,230
Your stomach medicine, sir.
135
00:09:51,240 --> 00:09:54,755
- Whats on your head?
- On my head? othing, sir.
136
00:09:54,840 --> 00:09:58,389
Exactly. Why not?
Youve got a cap, havent you?
137
00:09:58,480 --> 00:10:01,153
Yes - company regulation pattern.
138
00:10:01,240 --> 00:10:04,550
- Then why arent you wearing it?
- L dont know, sir.
139
00:10:04,640 --> 00:10:09,156
The cap is worn for visits to the
Captain. Theres no tramp stuff here.
140
00:10:09,240 --> 00:10:12,471
This is my ship, Doctor,
and shes properly run.
141
00:10:12,560 --> 00:10:16,439
I wonder if l could persuade you
not to shake that too much.
142
00:10:16,520 --> 00:10:20,115
Stop telling me what to do.
Change that corn plaster.
143
00:10:20,200 --> 00:10:22,714
Its not my job
to change corn plasters!
144
00:10:22,800 --> 00:10:26,429
- Youre a doctor, arent you?
- Yes.
145
00:10:28,160 --> 00:10:30,390
There they are, the new ones.
146
00:10:31,400 --> 00:10:35,279
- Women, l suppose?
- L beg your pardon?
147
00:10:35,360 --> 00:10:38,716
- Drove you to sea.
- Oh. Yes... in a way.
148
00:10:38,800 --> 00:10:41,712
I thought so.
I can smell your type a mile away.
149
00:10:41,800 --> 00:10:44,394
I wont tolerate that
with my officers.
150
00:10:44,480 --> 00:10:47,836
I dont approve of women.
Theyre unnecessary.
151
00:10:47,920 --> 00:10:51,469
But surely even a seaman
has to get launched somehow?
152
00:10:54,120 --> 00:10:58,238
I hope you understand your duties.
Sick parades at nine oclock.
153
00:10:58,320 --> 00:11:01,630
Bring me the sick list at 10:30.
I want to know whats wrong.
154
00:11:01,720 --> 00:11:05,793
One of this medical secrecy.
Everything must be out in the open.
155
00:11:06,600 --> 00:11:08,556
Excuse me, sir.
156
00:11:08,640 --> 00:11:10,790
Get away from me. Leave me alone.
157
00:11:10,880 --> 00:11:14,429
- Excuse me. That doors shut.
- Get out of here!
158
00:11:15,000 --> 00:11:16,752
Good morning, sir.
159
00:11:16,840 --> 00:11:21,197
Clean the telegraph. lt looks like
its been out in a shower of...
160
00:11:24,080 --> 00:11:26,116
Mr Hornbeam, make her forard.
161
00:11:26,200 --> 00:11:28,156
Let go forard!
162
00:11:35,840 --> 00:11:38,308
- Slow ahead starboard.
- Slow ahead starboard.
163
00:11:38,400 --> 00:11:40,356
- Sir!
- Sir.
164
00:11:42,400 --> 00:11:45,915
- Slow astern port.
- Slow astern port, sir.
165
00:11:53,400 --> 00:11:56,915
Well, were underway, Doc.
O popsies for a few weeks.
166
00:11:57,000 --> 00:12:01,676
I know. lm a different man already.
I should have tried this before.
167
00:12:01,760 --> 00:12:04,718
Youll have your sea legs in no time.
168
00:12:04,800 --> 00:12:07,189
Attention all shipping.
169
00:12:07,280 --> 00:12:10,829
The Admiralty has just issued
the following gale warning.
170
00:12:10,920 --> 00:12:14,549
South to south-easterly gales
now in operation
171
00:12:14,640 --> 00:12:20,556
in sea areas Portland, Wight,
Dover, Thames, Heligoland.
172
00:12:32,960 --> 00:12:34,518
Sir.
173
00:12:34,600 --> 00:12:37,319
Whats this?
Bacon and sausage sandwich?
174
00:12:37,400 --> 00:12:39,356
- Yes, sir.
- Any mustard in it?
175
00:12:39,440 --> 00:12:41,396
- Yes, sir.
- Good. Tell the cook
176
00:12:41,480 --> 00:12:44,040
l want jam roly-poly for my lunch.
177
00:12:45,720 --> 00:12:48,234
You know the only cure
for seasickness?
178
00:12:48,320 --> 00:12:51,471
- O.
- A pint of seawater in a bucket.
179
00:12:51,560 --> 00:12:54,199
- Oh...
- Old sailors remedy.
180
00:12:54,280 --> 00:12:56,589
- Care to try some?
- O, thank you.
181
00:12:56,680 --> 00:12:59,194
All right. Just a suggestion.
182
00:13:00,360 --> 00:13:03,909
The pipes not pulling.
Have you got a pipe cleaner?
183
00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:06,798
Could you clean it outside?
184
00:13:06,880 --> 00:13:10,395
- Lts a bit strong.
- Oh, lm sorry.
185
00:13:16,080 --> 00:13:19,993
Oh, very nice, if l may say so,
Mr Jenkins. You cook very nice.
186
00:13:20,080 --> 00:13:22,036
Its nice to be appreciated.
187
00:13:22,120 --> 00:13:25,078
A contented cook
makes a contented crew.
188
00:13:25,160 --> 00:13:27,390
Oh, lm contented, all right.
189
00:13:27,480 --> 00:13:29,596
- Here, thats why.
- Mmm?
190
00:13:29,680 --> 00:13:31,955
- Thats why.
- Oh!
191
00:13:32,040 --> 00:13:34,190
Oh, thats Rosie, the wife.
192
00:13:34,280 --> 00:13:36,840
Oh! Well, shes, er...
Shes healthy.
193
00:13:36,920 --> 00:13:41,914
Has plenty of your plum duff, eh?
Youre a lucky man, Mr J.
194
00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:44,514
- Excuse me.
- Oh, she could do with it.
195
00:13:46,680 --> 00:13:48,352
Allez-oop!
196
00:13:48,440 --> 00:13:50,715
A couple more turns, Fred.
197
00:13:52,840 --> 00:13:57,152
- Docs a bit off colour.
- Yeah. Heard you were, Doc.
198
00:13:57,240 --> 00:14:00,437
Brought you something.
Real sailors remedy.
199
00:14:00,520 --> 00:14:04,195
- O salt water, thank you.
- Oh, no. ot that. This.
200
00:14:04,280 --> 00:14:10,071
Guinness, old boy. You put a bit
of sugar in and pour it down.
201
00:14:11,000 --> 00:14:13,116
Youll be fine in half an hour.
202
00:14:13,200 --> 00:14:15,031
Oh!
203
00:14:15,120 --> 00:14:19,398
Maybe that is the way, Doc.
Atures remedy, you cant whack it.
204
00:14:20,240 --> 00:14:22,834
Good morning, Doctor. Your breakfast.
205
00:14:22,920 --> 00:14:26,754
Thats the ticket, Easter.
Give him something to work on.
206
00:14:26,840 --> 00:14:29,434
I dont want any breakfast,
thank you.
207
00:14:29,520 --> 00:14:31,795
Feeling a bit oopsy-daisy, Doc?
208
00:14:31,880 --> 00:14:35,919
What you need is a good meal.
A light repast, as you might say.
209
00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:39,197
Put you right as rain.
Eggs, nice bit of gammon,
210
00:14:39,280 --> 00:14:41,236
banger, tasty bit of haddock...
211
00:14:41,320 --> 00:14:44,517
ot just at the moment.
Perhaps at lunchtime.
212
00:14:44,600 --> 00:14:48,070
O haddock?
Well, lll knock this back myself.
213
00:14:48,160 --> 00:14:50,515
- Please do.
- Lts a pity to waste it.
214
00:14:55,360 --> 00:14:57,112
Oh!
215
00:15:01,240 --> 00:15:03,708
- O soup today, Doctor.
- O soup.
216
00:15:03,800 --> 00:15:07,679
Pity, its not bad for a change.
Ot seasick, are you?
217
00:15:07,760 --> 00:15:10,558
O, sir.
Just not very hungry, thats all.
218
00:15:10,640 --> 00:15:14,519
Seasickness is entirely mental.
Isnt that so, Mr Archer?
219
00:15:14,600 --> 00:15:18,388
- Yes, sir.
- There are other reasons, sir.
220
00:15:18,480 --> 00:15:20,710
Its entirely mental. l know.
221
00:15:20,800 --> 00:15:24,076
When the ship goes
up and down or from side to side,
222
00:15:24,160 --> 00:15:29,029
people want to vomit, and, by jingo,
they do, but its entirely mental.
223
00:15:29,120 --> 00:15:31,236
Yes, sir. Whatever you say, sir.
224
00:15:33,960 --> 00:15:35,916
- Mr Whimble.
- Sir?
225
00:15:36,000 --> 00:15:39,470
- This fish, Mr Whimble. lts bad.
- Lt cant be, sir.
226
00:15:39,560 --> 00:15:42,074
- Doctor?
- L havent tried mine yet.
227
00:15:42,160 --> 00:15:46,233
Well, taste it now.
Dont wait for us all to be poisoned.
228
00:15:52,760 --> 00:15:56,116
- Would you excuse me?
- There! And he didnt even taste it.
229
00:15:56,200 --> 00:15:58,668
- Chuck it all over the side.
- What, now?
230
00:16:08,200 --> 00:16:10,395
- Youre ticklish, sir.
- Yes.
231
00:16:10,480 --> 00:16:13,995
- Very nasty.
- Theres nothing serious, l hope.
232
00:16:14,080 --> 00:16:16,196
- Pes planum.
- Pes what?
233
00:16:16,280 --> 00:16:20,398
Planum. What we of the medical
profession call athletes foot.
234
00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:22,436
Fix it in a jiffy.
235
00:16:22,520 --> 00:16:25,637
Athletes foot?
I dont know any athletes.
236
00:16:27,440 --> 00:16:31,274
Ow, this was made up special
by the Doctor hisself.
237
00:16:31,360 --> 00:16:33,590
What do l do with it?
What do you...?
238
00:16:33,680 --> 00:16:37,195
Oh, you rub it on thrice daily
after meals.
239
00:16:38,640 --> 00:16:41,074
- After meals.
- Hmm.
240
00:16:42,720 --> 00:16:44,676
Hello, Second.
241
00:16:45,400 --> 00:16:48,392
- Whats the matter?
- Good morning, Doctor.
242
00:16:48,480 --> 00:16:52,393
Extraordinary. Touch of pes planum.
Cant think how l got it.
243
00:16:52,480 --> 00:16:55,392
- L used our ointment.
- Easter, you are an idiot.
244
00:16:56,120 --> 00:16:58,588
- Anyone waiting?
- Yes. Thousands.
245
00:16:58,680 --> 00:17:01,513
- Line them up and send them in.
- Righto, Doc.
246
00:17:01,600 --> 00:17:03,716
Its astonishing.
247
00:17:03,800 --> 00:17:08,351
Doctor, it feels better already.
Three times daily. Shall l?
248
00:17:08,440 --> 00:17:11,830
Oh, yes. Certainly.
If you think itll do any good.
249
00:17:11,920 --> 00:17:15,674
Do me any good?! Good gracious me!
Its wonderful stuff.
250
00:17:17,520 --> 00:17:19,476
Oh, l dont need that.
251
00:17:20,200 --> 00:17:22,156
All right. First one.
252
00:17:23,320 --> 00:17:28,155
Come in, Wilson. Sit down.
Ow, what seems to be the trouble?
253
00:17:28,240 --> 00:17:31,949
Its my chest, Doc. Feels as if
somethings pressing on it.
254
00:17:32,040 --> 00:17:34,838
Take off your shirt.
What sort of pressing?
255
00:17:34,920 --> 00:17:38,959
I dont quite know, but its
suffocating, especially at night.
256
00:17:39,040 --> 00:17:40,996
Lets have a look.
257
00:17:42,520 --> 00:17:44,988
- Something pressing on it?
- Yes, Doc.
258
00:17:45,080 --> 00:17:48,709
Im not surprised.
It must be the cannon balls.
259
00:17:48,800 --> 00:17:52,236
Well, just flex your muscles
and breathe naturally.
260
00:18:00,800 --> 00:18:04,190
- Whats going on?
- Chippies having one of his turns.
261
00:18:04,280 --> 00:18:09,479
Look at that one with the two heads
and green eyes!
262
00:18:09,560 --> 00:18:13,473
- Better go after him. He looks bad.
- Hell be in his cabin by now.
263
00:18:20,400 --> 00:18:24,439
- Cor, hes violent.
- Er, now, come on.
264
00:18:24,520 --> 00:18:27,830
- Get away from me, you swine!
- Lm here to help you.
265
00:18:27,920 --> 00:18:29,990
- Get away!
- Whats the trouble?
266
00:18:30,080 --> 00:18:36,553
Its them dogs, them Alsatians.
Five ruddy great green ones!
267
00:18:36,640 --> 00:18:38,596
This man has DTs.
268
00:18:38,680 --> 00:18:42,958
Oh, hes had them for years.
Hes been on the booze since we left.
269
00:18:43,040 --> 00:18:45,508
It makes him sad leaving Wapping.
270
00:18:48,640 --> 00:18:52,394
If l make so bold, ld say this
called for medical comforts.
271
00:18:52,480 --> 00:18:54,710
- Medical comforts?
- The brandy,
272
00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:56,756
issued buckshee for the hospital.
273
00:18:56,840 --> 00:19:00,230
- The late Dr Flowerday and l had...
- An understanding?
274
00:19:00,400 --> 00:19:02,436
- Thats right.
- Come along. Up.
275
00:19:02,520 --> 00:19:04,476
What is it? What?
276
00:19:04,560 --> 00:19:08,155
Have a nice drink of this.
Itll make you feel better.
277
00:19:10,800 --> 00:19:12,995
- Feel better?
- Yes.
278
00:19:13,080 --> 00:19:15,594
How many Alsatians can you see now?
279
00:19:17,400 --> 00:19:19,470
One. Theyve all gone.
280
00:19:19,560 --> 00:19:22,028
Good. ow, down you go.
There you are.
281
00:19:22,120 --> 00:19:24,429
- Thank you.
- Doc?
282
00:19:24,520 --> 00:19:25,999
Yes?
283
00:19:29,080 --> 00:19:32,390
Heres three lovely
little spaniel puppies.
284
00:19:35,880 --> 00:19:37,632
Thank you.
285
00:19:40,040 --> 00:19:41,996
You can have the bitch.
286
00:19:46,960 --> 00:19:49,269
Yes, itll have to come out, Corble.
287
00:19:49,360 --> 00:19:52,989
- How are we for dental equipment?
- Weve got pliers, sir.
288
00:19:53,080 --> 00:19:56,595
- There must be some forceps.
- Theyre old-fashioned.
289
00:19:56,680 --> 00:19:59,877
- How about string and a doorknob?
- Dont be an idiot.
290
00:19:59,960 --> 00:20:02,349
- How about anaesthetic?
- Got ether.
291
00:20:02,440 --> 00:20:04,396
Doctor, ether makes me sick.
292
00:20:04,480 --> 00:20:07,517
And no ones
going to use it on me!
293
00:20:07,600 --> 00:20:11,275
- What about medical comforts?
- That lm in favour of.
294
00:20:14,000 --> 00:20:16,833
Well, Doc... Heres how.
295
00:20:20,000 --> 00:20:22,070
Come on, Doc. Lets get cracking.
296
00:20:22,160 --> 00:20:23,912
Yes.
297
00:20:24,720 --> 00:20:26,278
Come on.
298
00:20:26,360 --> 00:20:28,828
Come on. Open.
299
00:20:28,920 --> 00:20:30,876
Come on. Wide. Wider.
300
00:20:31,280 --> 00:20:33,032
Ow...
301
00:20:37,040 --> 00:20:39,076
Hold it. Hold on. Hold on.
302
00:20:45,520 --> 00:20:48,637
- Am l interrupting?
- Were extricating a molar.
303
00:20:48,720 --> 00:20:51,473
Come in.
Do you mind the sight of blood?
304
00:20:51,560 --> 00:20:53,676
- Blood? o, not a bit.
- Good.
305
00:20:53,760 --> 00:20:57,548
Ow, come along.
Well just try again. Open.
306
00:21:06,440 --> 00:21:09,512
Im sorry. This is going
to hurt a bit, l think.
307
00:21:16,720 --> 00:21:21,111
Easter, apply some counter-pressure
to his shoulders? Hurry up.
308
00:21:24,800 --> 00:21:27,872
Put your knee on his chest, Doctor.
309
00:21:27,960 --> 00:21:29,916
Knee on his chest. Like that?
310
00:21:30,040 --> 00:21:32,918
Ow your elbows
against his shoulders.
311
00:21:33,000 --> 00:21:36,151
- Thats right. ow pull.
- How can l, you idiot?
312
00:21:36,240 --> 00:21:38,800
- Turn it upside down.
- L cant do that.
313
00:21:38,880 --> 00:21:40,916
Im sorry. Once again, open up.
314
00:21:45,160 --> 00:21:47,151
Pull, Easter, pull!
315
00:21:51,760 --> 00:21:56,390
Im... lm sorry, Doc.
L... l hope l didnt hurt you.
316
00:21:56,480 --> 00:21:58,710
Oh, no, no. ot at all. Look.
317
00:22:01,840 --> 00:22:04,593
Well, Trail, what can l do for you?
318
00:22:05,680 --> 00:22:09,116
Im quite all right, Doc.
Much better. Much better.
319
00:22:09,200 --> 00:22:12,078
Thought l had a slight toothache.
All gone.
320
00:22:27,560 --> 00:22:30,154
Come on. Wakey-wakey!
321
00:22:30,240 --> 00:22:33,277
Oh, take it easy, Doc.
Its far too hot.
322
00:22:33,360 --> 00:22:38,036
Youre going to need all your energy
when we put into port at Bellos.
323
00:22:38,120 --> 00:22:40,076
You are.
324
00:22:42,560 --> 00:22:44,516
- Hello, Doc.
- Morning.
325
00:22:49,080 --> 00:22:51,036
Come.
326
00:22:51,120 --> 00:22:55,591
- Morning, sir. Sick report, sir.
- O time to dress this morning?
327
00:22:55,680 --> 00:22:58,240
- L beg your pardon, sir?
- Youre naked.
328
00:22:58,320 --> 00:23:01,596
- Am l, sir? l didnt notice.
- Your button, Doctor.
329
00:23:01,680 --> 00:23:03,910
- Oh.
- Take care in the tropics.
330
00:23:04,000 --> 00:23:07,788
Heat does strange things to people.
I remember when l went Third.
331
00:23:07,880 --> 00:23:10,269
The First Officer
thought he was Cleopatra.
332
00:23:10,360 --> 00:23:12,715
Very awkward for all hands, sir.
333
00:23:12,800 --> 00:23:15,712
We were near the ile.
That may account for it.
334
00:23:15,800 --> 00:23:19,395
Yes, sir. l shall watch myself
for any symptoms.
335
00:23:19,480 --> 00:23:23,234
And there was your predecessor
Flowerday. Poor fellow.
336
00:23:24,240 --> 00:23:27,391
However, lets have a look
at this sick list.
337
00:23:27,480 --> 00:23:31,155
McGlusky, insomnia. What does
he think you can do about that?
338
00:23:31,240 --> 00:23:34,312
Perhaps he thought l was Cleopatra,
sir.
339
00:23:34,400 --> 00:23:37,949
- Whats PUO?
- Pyrexia of unknown origin, sir.
340
00:23:38,040 --> 00:23:40,474
Ld be obliged
if youd speak English.
341
00:23:40,560 --> 00:23:43,120
- He has a temperature, sir.
- Why?
342
00:23:43,200 --> 00:23:45,509
- L dont know.
- You ruddy ought to.
343
00:23:45,600 --> 00:23:49,309
Youre the doctor. What if l didnt
recognise a lighthouse?
344
00:23:49,400 --> 00:23:51,789
Well, its hardly the same, sir.
345
00:23:51,880 --> 00:23:55,714
- A lighthouse sticks up for miles.
- Dont be impertinent.
346
00:24:09,240 --> 00:24:12,232
Bellos.
It looks a wonderful place, Easter.
347
00:24:12,320 --> 00:24:15,915
- L suppose youve been before.
- Yes. lts a pretty spot
348
00:24:16,000 --> 00:24:19,276
but it has some distressing memories,
you might say.
349
00:24:19,360 --> 00:24:22,158
The late Dr Flowerday
was very fond of it.
350
00:24:22,240 --> 00:24:25,596
Easter, what did happen
to Dr Flowerday?
351
00:24:25,680 --> 00:24:28,877
Oh, very melancholy, it was.
352
00:24:28,960 --> 00:24:33,158
He was in a hurry to get ashore
one day when we were in the harbour.
353
00:24:33,240 --> 00:24:34,559
Oh?
354
00:24:34,640 --> 00:24:38,315
Well, he had ideas above his station.
He tried to walk.
355
00:24:41,120 --> 00:24:42,872
Oh!
356
00:25:00,680 --> 00:25:03,797
O, you naughty boy!
I dont want to kiss you!
357
00:25:03,880 --> 00:25:05,632
Hey! Hey!
358
00:25:06,800 --> 00:25:08,153
Blast!
359
00:25:11,080 --> 00:25:13,469
Too fast an acceleration, Harry, eh?
360
00:25:13,560 --> 00:25:16,996
I havent got the pick-up
that l used to have.
361
00:25:18,680 --> 00:25:21,399
Family model.
Catch her when she parks.
362
00:25:36,400 --> 00:25:39,551
Chicken... Two!
363
00:25:39,640 --> 00:25:43,599
Sword swallow. Hocus-pocus.
One, two, three, go.
364
00:25:50,640 --> 00:25:54,519
- Stick it, boss.
- Dont be so darned silly!
365
00:25:56,880 --> 00:25:59,075
Easter, back at your old job, eh?
366
00:25:59,160 --> 00:26:03,517
Yes, l like hair cutting.
Bit of an art. Like sculpture.
367
00:26:03,600 --> 00:26:06,353
You never know
how its going to turn out.
368
00:26:06,440 --> 00:26:08,715
- Ouch!
- Oh, was that your ear, Doc?
369
00:26:08,800 --> 00:26:11,268
If l get a septic wound,
lll brain you.
370
00:26:11,360 --> 00:26:15,956
Sterilised, Doctor. We of the medical
fraternity look after our tools.
371
00:26:17,080 --> 00:26:19,878
The Violet come in
astern of us last night.
372
00:26:19,960 --> 00:26:23,350
- The Violet?
- Yes, sister ship. Captain Beamish.
373
00:26:23,440 --> 00:26:27,672
- He and the old man hate each other.
- Yes. Professional rivalry.
374
00:26:27,760 --> 00:26:30,479
Both think
that theyve got the best ship.
375
00:26:30,560 --> 00:26:33,074
- You wouldnt fancy a crew cut, Doc?
- O, l would not.
376
00:26:34,800 --> 00:26:38,395
Hiya, Doc. lm off
the Omar C lngersoll down the docks.
377
00:26:38,480 --> 00:26:40,630
- Drapers the name.
- How are you?
378
00:26:40,720 --> 00:26:44,030
I know l shouldnt bust in
but your Chief Mate said it was OK.
379
00:26:44,120 --> 00:26:45,951
What can l do for you?
380
00:26:46,040 --> 00:26:49,510
I just want a pack of aspro.
Were clear out.
381
00:26:49,600 --> 00:26:53,070
- L dont want to be any trouble
- o trouble at all.
382
00:26:55,160 --> 00:26:57,754
Here.
I brought you these in exchange.
383
00:26:57,840 --> 00:27:01,037
Oh... yes, thank you.
384
00:27:01,120 --> 00:27:03,634
Pop over
for a cup of coffee some time.
385
00:27:03,720 --> 00:27:06,757
- Just ask for me.
- Oh, thats very nice of you.
386
00:27:06,840 --> 00:27:10,469
Er, what exactly...
l mean, what do you do aboard?
387
00:27:10,560 --> 00:27:13,074
Im the Captain.
388
00:27:13,160 --> 00:27:15,116
- Hi.
- Hello.
389
00:27:15,200 --> 00:27:17,873
All set?
I wonder where he gets his shirts?
390
00:27:17,960 --> 00:27:21,999
- The same place you get your ties.
- Do you like it? Got it in BA.
391
00:27:22,080 --> 00:27:25,038
- Subtle, eh?
- Shes got a pronounced strabismus.
392
00:27:25,120 --> 00:27:28,715
- Ls that medical for a good figure?
- O, a squint.
393
00:27:28,800 --> 00:27:30,756
A squint?
394
00:27:30,840 --> 00:27:32,796
Oh, yes. So she has.
395
00:27:41,400 --> 00:27:43,356
Going ashore, Second?
396
00:27:43,440 --> 00:27:45,670
Im not visiting the engine room.
397
00:27:45,760 --> 00:27:48,433
Take it easy.
Its a very wicked city.
398
00:27:48,520 --> 00:27:51,114
If you find fun
among the dregs of humanity,
399
00:27:51,200 --> 00:27:54,909
it doesnt follow that all officers
wish to do the same.
400
00:27:57,600 --> 00:27:59,556
Its a girl.
401
00:28:01,120 --> 00:28:04,874
Ever go ashore with Second, Doc.
He never stands a round.
402
00:28:04,960 --> 00:28:08,919
Just going over to Violet
to pay a call on Captain Beamish.
403
00:28:09,000 --> 00:28:10,956
Keep the men in order.
404
00:28:11,040 --> 00:28:14,874
If anyone smuggles a woman aboard,
clap him in irons.
405
00:28:14,960 --> 00:28:18,316
Spending your evening
in a shop window, Mr Archer?
406
00:28:26,760 --> 00:28:29,035
- Good evening, sir.
- Good eve...
407
00:28:33,160 --> 00:28:36,755
Hello, Chippie.
Taking the Alsatians for a stroll?
408
00:28:36,840 --> 00:28:38,796
What are you talking about?
409
00:28:38,880 --> 00:28:42,190
You know,
them ruddy great green ones.
410
00:28:42,280 --> 00:28:45,238
- Have you been drinking?
- Oh! Hark at you!
411
00:28:51,240 --> 00:28:54,232
Drink. Softens the brain in the end.
412
00:28:54,640 --> 00:28:59,316
Hope youve locked your cabin.
These chapsll pinch anything.
413
00:28:59,400 --> 00:29:04,076
- Dont the police keep an eye out?
- Theyre too busy gambling.
414
00:29:04,160 --> 00:29:06,435
Theyll arrest you
first chance they get.
415
00:29:06,520 --> 00:29:09,910
- Steer clear of them, Doc.
- Thanks for the warning.
416
00:29:19,400 --> 00:29:24,554
I say. What a smashing-looking girl.
I wonder who that belongs to?
417
00:29:28,400 --> 00:29:32,791
Hello. l wonder if youd mind
giving us a lift into town?
418
00:29:34,880 --> 00:29:36,916
Rosita!
419
00:29:38,520 --> 00:29:41,910
Rosita, my dear.
I hope l havent kept you waiting.
420
00:29:53,320 --> 00:29:55,276
Captain Hogg, sir.
421
00:29:55,360 --> 00:29:57,191
Well?!
422
00:29:57,280 --> 00:30:01,068
Whats the matter with him, Beamish?
Scurvy or something?
423
00:30:01,160 --> 00:30:03,355
Miss Mallet, this is Captain Hogg.
424
00:30:03,440 --> 00:30:06,238
Good evening.
Well, you are a surprise.
425
00:30:06,320 --> 00:30:08,629
I never expected a dear little beard.
426
00:30:08,720 --> 00:30:11,757
- Really, madam...
- This is Sir Arthurs daughter.
427
00:30:11,840 --> 00:30:13,034
Oh.
428
00:30:13,120 --> 00:30:17,830
Lve been a passenger all the way
from Lima. lts been so exciting.
429
00:30:17,920 --> 00:30:21,959
Im a landlubber, really, and being
at sea has been such a thrill.
430
00:30:22,040 --> 00:30:26,830
- Lndeed?
- Captain Beamish has been so kind.
431
00:30:26,920 --> 00:30:32,153
I think sailors get lonely without
a little feminine company, dont you?
432
00:30:32,240 --> 00:30:34,196
I havent noticed it, madam.
433
00:30:34,280 --> 00:30:37,909
Ow, Captain, you mustnt be
strong and silent with me,
434
00:30:38,000 --> 00:30:39,956
or l shall tell my father.
435
00:30:41,000 --> 00:30:45,516
Well, perhaps they are inclined
to fret a little from time to time.
436
00:30:48,360 --> 00:30:52,273
Fret? Oh, what a sweet way
of putting it.
437
00:30:53,000 --> 00:30:55,912
Captain,
wont you offer Captain Hogg a drink?
438
00:30:56,000 --> 00:30:59,879
- Of course.
- Pour me a teeny one, will you?
439
00:30:59,960 --> 00:31:03,919
Captain Beamish is going to
take me out and show me the sights.
440
00:31:04,000 --> 00:31:06,673
Ow, dont you slip away
while lm gone.
441
00:31:13,800 --> 00:31:18,191
I cant help feeling sorry for you,
having that for the whole voyage.
442
00:31:18,280 --> 00:31:22,273
Chairmans daughter or not,
ld wring her neck. Whats this?
443
00:31:22,360 --> 00:31:24,669
Thats a cable from the Chairman,
444
00:31:24,760 --> 00:31:28,196
saying that youre to sign her on now
and take her home.
445
00:31:28,280 --> 00:31:32,114
- By Christopher, l wont!
- The Chairman says you will.
446
00:31:38,600 --> 00:31:41,068
Do you love me?
Je ne sais pas
447
00:31:41,160 --> 00:31:43,674
Darling, l dont know
448
00:31:43,760 --> 00:31:47,389
Je ne sais pas
but lm hoping that you do
449
00:31:48,640 --> 00:31:51,154
Do you want me?
Je ne sais pas
450
00:31:51,240 --> 00:31:53,515
But your loving eyes
451
00:31:53,600 --> 00:31:57,832
Seem to tell me
that you want me to be true
452
00:31:58,440 --> 00:32:01,113
Theres a magic, je ne sais quois
453
00:32:01,200 --> 00:32:03,475
ln the air tonight
454
00:32:03,560 --> 00:32:07,439
Je ne sais pas
why my heart it is so gay
455
00:32:08,520 --> 00:32:10,988
There are many things l dont know
456
00:32:11,080 --> 00:32:13,116
But l do know this
457
00:32:13,200 --> 00:32:15,634
That l love you, love you, love you
458
00:32:15,720 --> 00:32:17,676
Je le sais
459
00:32:19,320 --> 00:32:23,074
Do you love me?
Je ne sais pas, darling
460
00:32:23,160 --> 00:32:25,754
l dont know
461
00:32:25,840 --> 00:32:28,035
Still, lm hoping that you do
462
00:32:29,120 --> 00:32:31,429
Do you want me?
463
00:32:31,520 --> 00:32:33,750
Well, then, darling
464
00:32:33,840 --> 00:32:36,229
Come on and tell me that you do
465
00:32:37,720 --> 00:32:40,280
Theres a magic, je ne sais quoi
466
00:32:40,360 --> 00:32:42,430
ln the air tonight
467
00:32:42,520 --> 00:32:46,752
Je ne sais pas
why my heart it is so gay
468
00:32:47,560 --> 00:32:50,074
There are many things l dont know
469
00:32:50,160 --> 00:32:52,355
But l do know this
470
00:32:52,440 --> 00:32:54,749
That l love you, love you, love you
471
00:32:54,840 --> 00:32:57,195
l am certain that l love you
472
00:32:57,280 --> 00:32:59,430
l love you, love you, love you
473
00:32:59,520 --> 00:33:01,670
Je le sais
474
00:33:06,760 --> 00:33:10,833
- Dont do that, please.
- What a dish. Lets move in.
475
00:33:10,920 --> 00:33:15,391
- O, l dont think so, thank you.
- Come on, Doc. Youre our decoy.
476
00:33:19,480 --> 00:33:21,596
- Good evening.
- Good evening.
477
00:33:21,680 --> 00:33:24,717
I wonder if youd care
to join us in a drink?
478
00:33:24,800 --> 00:33:28,952
- O, thank you.
- Oh, were very nice, you know.
479
00:33:29,040 --> 00:33:33,716
Im sure you are, but so am l,
and anyway, lm waiting for a friend.
480
00:33:35,520 --> 00:33:38,557
- Lf lm not back when we sail...
- Excuse me.
481
00:33:39,640 --> 00:33:43,428
Im sorry about them,
but weve just docked...
482
00:33:43,520 --> 00:33:46,637
- You dont look like a sailor.
- Oh, dont l?
483
00:33:46,720 --> 00:33:48,950
- Uh-uh.
- Lm only half a sailor.
484
00:33:49,040 --> 00:33:52,157
- What is the other half?
- A doctor.
485
00:33:52,240 --> 00:33:55,118
Oh, are those two your patients?
486
00:33:55,200 --> 00:33:58,590
- Sort of.
- Well, keep an eye on them.
487
00:33:58,680 --> 00:34:01,148
Their temperatures are rising.
488
00:34:02,360 --> 00:34:04,590
Mines not very steady.
489
00:34:05,800 --> 00:34:09,110
Well, l see my friends.
Excuse me, please.
490
00:34:10,120 --> 00:34:13,430
- Oh, this is divine.
- Yes, l thought youd like it.
491
00:34:13,520 --> 00:34:17,115
Hello, darling. lts settled.
This is Captain Beamish.
492
00:34:17,200 --> 00:34:20,988
Miss Colbert. Her father
is the lines agent in Algiers.
493
00:34:21,080 --> 00:34:23,389
Daddy has great respect for him.
494
00:34:23,480 --> 00:34:27,109
Oh, why didnt Captain Hogg
come with us after all?
495
00:34:27,200 --> 00:34:30,556
- He wasnt feeling very well.
- Oh. Tum-tum?
496
00:34:30,640 --> 00:34:32,596
O. Shock.
497
00:34:32,680 --> 00:34:35,274
I wanted him
to meet the other passenger.
498
00:34:35,360 --> 00:34:39,399
- L doubt if it would have helped.
- Captain Beamish, good night.
499
00:34:39,480 --> 00:34:42,790
Colonel Porella,
the Chief of Police. Miss Mallet.
500
00:34:42,880 --> 00:34:45,348
How do you do?
Miss Colbert youve met.
501
00:34:45,440 --> 00:34:49,956
- Lndeed l have. Are you visiting?
- Well, just popping in and out.
502
00:34:50,040 --> 00:34:54,477
Perhaps l can show you the beauties
of our city, while you are popping.
503
00:34:54,560 --> 00:34:58,473
Oh, how very kind of you.
Well, it will have to be tonight.
504
00:34:58,560 --> 00:35:00,630
The Lotus sails at noon tomorrow.
505
00:35:00,720 --> 00:35:03,314
I thought
you never carried passengers?
506
00:35:03,400 --> 00:35:06,073
Sir Arthur made an exception
in this case.
507
00:35:06,160 --> 00:35:10,756
Aha. So, you are leaving Bellos,
Mademoiselle Colbert?
508
00:35:10,840 --> 00:35:14,435
What shall we do without
our sweet little nightshirt?
509
00:35:14,520 --> 00:35:17,159
- Ightingale!
- L have to go home,
510
00:35:17,240 --> 00:35:20,357
and Miss Mallet
kindly arranged l travel with her.
511
00:35:20,440 --> 00:35:22,954
Yes. l do want you
to meet the Captain.
512
00:35:23,040 --> 00:35:26,828
Do you know, he has
the most magnetic little beard?
513
00:35:26,920 --> 00:35:31,994
I never knew a beard could...
be so fascinating.
514
00:35:36,080 --> 00:35:37,832
Youll like this. Quiet.
515
00:35:39,320 --> 00:35:42,517
Ot a noisy dump
like those other places. Restful.
516
00:35:42,600 --> 00:35:45,319
As long as l can sit down,
l shant mind.
517
00:35:45,400 --> 00:35:48,119
- You havent come to sit down, Doc.
- L have.
518
00:36:07,960 --> 00:36:09,916
You like to dance with me?
519
00:36:10,000 --> 00:36:12,753
Er, no.
Ot just at the moment, thank you.
520
00:36:13,840 --> 00:36:16,877
If you dont like me, l get fired.
521
00:36:16,960 --> 00:36:22,318
Oh, really? Well, that wont do,
will it? All right. l like you.
522
00:36:22,400 --> 00:36:26,996
- You like a drink?
- Er... o. ot just now.
523
00:36:27,080 --> 00:36:29,514
I get fired
if you dont like a drink.
524
00:36:30,680 --> 00:36:34,275
Tell me, do you get fired
if l just sit here and go to sleep?
525
00:36:34,360 --> 00:36:36,316
Yes.
526
00:36:36,400 --> 00:36:40,757
Oh. lsnt there a high standard
of activity demanded here?
527
00:36:40,840 --> 00:36:44,913
I get fired if you dont give me
200 cruzeiros.
528
00:36:45,000 --> 00:36:47,719
Oh, l see.
529
00:36:47,840 --> 00:36:50,308
All right. Heres the money.
530
00:36:50,400 --> 00:36:54,996
Then you can join my playmates.
O chance of getting fired with them.
531
00:37:01,440 --> 00:37:04,671
Excuse me. Could you tell me
the way to the harbour?
532
00:37:04,760 --> 00:37:08,833
Bar? Ah, plenty bars, senor.
That one very nice.
533
00:37:08,920 --> 00:37:10,672
Thank you.
534
00:37:10,760 --> 00:37:15,311
Oh, excuse me. Could you tell me
the way to the harbour, please?
535
00:37:15,400 --> 00:37:18,551
- Doctor!
- Oh, lm glad to see you. lm lost.
536
00:37:18,640 --> 00:37:22,110
Good heavens.
Lost? l always carry a small map.
537
00:37:22,200 --> 00:37:24,668
- Good idea.
- And a pocket compass.
538
00:37:24,760 --> 00:37:28,878
Would you care for a nightcap?
I know a charming place down there.
539
00:37:28,960 --> 00:37:31,269
- Much better style.
- Lf you insist.
540
00:37:31,360 --> 00:37:34,113
I dont insist.
I thought it would be jolly.
541
00:37:34,200 --> 00:37:37,590
Splendid fare, excellent cuisine,
very good cellar.
542
00:37:37,680 --> 00:37:40,433
Its a favourite haunt
of the President.
543
00:37:45,240 --> 00:37:49,028
- Good morning.
- Oh, is it?
544
00:37:50,560 --> 00:37:52,516
Oh...
545
00:37:55,280 --> 00:37:58,477
lts all right, lve chocked it...
checked it.
546
00:37:58,560 --> 00:38:00,516
- Chocked what?
- The bill.
547
00:38:00,600 --> 00:38:02,830
- Good.
- You dont mind paying, do you?
548
00:38:02,920 --> 00:38:05,388
Like a fool, lve come with no money.
549
00:38:05,480 --> 00:38:08,119
So have l.
550
00:38:11,240 --> 00:38:13,196
- What?
- Mmm.
551
00:38:13,280 --> 00:38:15,430
But, Doctor, you might have said.
552
00:38:15,520 --> 00:38:18,592
Wed never have come
to such an expensive place
553
00:38:18,680 --> 00:38:21,353
and ordered all this champagne,
would we?
554
00:38:22,440 --> 00:38:26,319
- What are we going to do?
- Well, lets give him our watches.
555
00:38:26,400 --> 00:38:29,472
- Give him...
- o, no, please. o more watches.
556
00:38:29,560 --> 00:38:32,632
Already l got two drawers
full of watches.
557
00:38:32,720 --> 00:38:34,676
What time is it?
558
00:38:37,280 --> 00:38:39,350
Ow, dont you be impertinent.
559
00:38:39,440 --> 00:38:42,910
Im not going to stand any nonsense
from these fellows.
560
00:38:43,000 --> 00:38:44,831
L...
561
00:38:44,920 --> 00:38:48,037
Well, never mind.
Im a British citizen.
562
00:38:49,120 --> 00:38:51,793
- Send for the Ambassador.
- Hooray!
563
00:38:51,880 --> 00:38:53,836
Send for the police.
564
00:38:58,000 --> 00:39:03,472
I dont know what the Captain will
say about it. l really do not know.
565
00:39:03,560 --> 00:39:05,710
- Me, of all people.
- Dont worry.
566
00:39:05,800 --> 00:39:08,712
They let you out
in the morning with a caution.
567
00:39:08,800 --> 00:39:10,791
But lm on watch at four!
568
00:39:37,280 --> 00:39:40,636
Keep them ruddy dogs under control,
will you?
569
00:39:43,680 --> 00:39:45,636
Anybody care for a song?
570
00:39:46,520 --> 00:39:48,476
Anybody care for a song?!
571
00:39:48,560 --> 00:39:50,357
O.
572
00:39:51,440 --> 00:39:54,318
Lve seen you geezers
somewhere before.
573
00:39:58,560 --> 00:40:02,917
When August suns are shining...
574
00:40:07,320 --> 00:40:08,673
Hoorah!
575
00:40:12,440 --> 00:40:15,238
Fancy seeing you again. There we are.
576
00:40:15,320 --> 00:40:16,958
Senor!
577
00:40:17,040 --> 00:40:19,759
Evening, all. Hello!
578
00:40:19,840 --> 00:40:22,798
Oh, hello, Doc.
Been making the rounds, l see.
579
00:40:22,880 --> 00:40:24,836
What have you been up to?
580
00:40:24,920 --> 00:40:29,152
Oh, a little husband trouble.
Happens to the best of us.
581
00:40:29,240 --> 00:40:31,356
Evening, Mr Archer.
582
00:40:33,280 --> 00:40:36,238
These are the cells.
People stay here overnight.
583
00:40:36,320 --> 00:40:39,471
They pay a fine or go
to less nice accommodation.
584
00:40:39,560 --> 00:40:42,028
- Very modern, yes?
- How interesting.
585
00:40:42,120 --> 00:40:45,317
- Are they criminals?
- Oh, yes. Very bad men.
586
00:40:45,400 --> 00:40:48,073
Come and feed the monkeys!
587
00:40:48,160 --> 00:40:52,119
Look at that revolting beast.
Are you on a professional visit?
588
00:40:52,200 --> 00:40:56,557
Er, no. Purely private. Do you know
my partner in crime. Aubrey?
589
00:40:56,640 --> 00:40:58,835
- Hello.
- How do you do?
590
00:41:00,400 --> 00:41:03,039
Look at the earlobes,
the simian features.
591
00:41:03,120 --> 00:41:07,238
- A murderer if ever l saw one.
- Yes. Rather like Crippen.
592
00:41:11,160 --> 00:41:13,116
Ow let me show you my museum.
593
00:41:13,200 --> 00:41:16,112
It is full
of wonderfully disgusting things.
594
00:41:16,200 --> 00:41:18,395
Mmm... l cant wait.
595
00:41:19,480 --> 00:41:23,109
Theyre shocking.
They look British, too, some of them.
596
00:41:23,200 --> 00:41:24,428
Yes.
597
00:41:24,520 --> 00:41:28,513
Oh, well. l suppose theyll
just have to take their medicine.
598
00:41:30,600 --> 00:41:33,717
Captain, please.
599
00:41:33,800 --> 00:41:35,199
Bye, Captain.
600
00:41:55,560 --> 00:41:59,314
- What you do, huh?
- Oh, just a little game, Officer.
601
00:41:59,400 --> 00:42:02,198
Harmless.
Just have to say which the lady is.
602
00:42:02,280 --> 00:42:04,430
- Would you care to try?
- Si.
603
00:42:04,520 --> 00:42:06,272
Right.
604
00:42:17,400 --> 00:42:20,597
Oh, youre a sharp one.
What about a little flutter?
605
00:42:20,680 --> 00:42:23,319
- A gamble. Money. Dough.
- Oh, si, si.
606
00:42:23,400 --> 00:42:27,029
Ow, whatll the bet be?
All right. Here we go.
607
00:42:27,120 --> 00:42:30,476
Pronto! Pronto!
608
00:42:32,240 --> 00:42:34,470
Here we are. ow, ready?
609
00:42:35,040 --> 00:42:37,235
Ow, where is she?
610
00:42:37,320 --> 00:42:40,471
- There? Yes...
- Si.
611
00:42:40,560 --> 00:42:43,552
Oh! Dough, dough, dough.
612
00:43:31,040 --> 00:43:34,476
- Dont think much of yours.
- Proof of the pudding...
613
00:43:34,560 --> 00:43:36,516
You beast!
614
00:43:40,760 --> 00:43:44,912
- Sorry, darlings, wrong ship.
- Porter, is this the Lotus?
615
00:43:45,000 --> 00:43:48,310
Madam, it is the Lotus,
and l am the third officer.
616
00:43:48,400 --> 00:43:52,473
Oh, so sorry, but you do look
a little jim-jammy in that get-up.
617
00:43:52,560 --> 00:43:55,757
- Were the passengers.
- Youre sailing with us?!
618
00:43:55,840 --> 00:43:58,195
- Yes.
- Would you take us to the Captain?
619
00:43:58,280 --> 00:44:01,989
Theres no hurry. What about
a little spot of something?
620
00:44:02,080 --> 00:44:05,356
- Oh, yes, with pleasure.
- L am Miss Mallet.
621
00:44:05,440 --> 00:44:09,353
Miss Mallet. Yes, l can see you are.
This way, please.
622
00:44:10,800 --> 00:44:13,553
Oh, this is going to be
a wonderful trip.
623
00:44:17,680 --> 00:44:21,116
- The ladies, sir.
- Ah! Welcome aboard, Miss Mallet.
624
00:44:21,200 --> 00:44:23,156
- Thank you.
- And Miss...?
625
00:44:23,240 --> 00:44:26,437
- Helene Colbert.
- Mademoiselle. How do you do?
626
00:44:26,520 --> 00:44:30,513
We must make you comfy.
Whats their accommodation, Whimble?
627
00:44:30,600 --> 00:44:32,591
I thought perhaps the hospital.
628
00:44:32,680 --> 00:44:35,592
The hospital?!
For the Chairmans daughter?
629
00:44:35,680 --> 00:44:39,116
The Doctors got a double cabin.
Put them in there.
630
00:44:39,200 --> 00:44:41,475
Dont turn anyone out because of me.
631
00:44:41,560 --> 00:44:44,597
Onsense.
Hell be delighted. Hed better be.
632
00:44:44,680 --> 00:44:47,478
We must do exactly
as the Captain says.
633
00:44:47,560 --> 00:44:50,074
We dont want
to be a nuisance to anyone.
634
00:44:53,520 --> 00:44:56,956
Hey, Doc. Come and have a drink,
lve got some exciting news..
635
00:44:57,040 --> 00:45:01,830
Just a minute. l must get a shower.
Lve been stocking up the hospital.
636
00:45:22,080 --> 00:45:24,435
I wont be long, darling.
637
00:45:25,840 --> 00:45:27,796
- Oh!
- Lm terribly sorry.
638
00:45:27,880 --> 00:45:29,950
- L thought l was on the Lotus.
- You are.
639
00:45:30,040 --> 00:45:32,349
L... l thought this was my cabin.
640
00:45:32,440 --> 00:45:35,989
It is. lm afraid
you have to go to the hospital.
641
00:45:36,080 --> 00:45:40,915
- Yes, lm afraid youre right.
- O, they have given us your cabin.
642
00:45:41,000 --> 00:45:44,436
- Lm terribly sorry.
- Oh, its perfectly all right.
643
00:45:44,520 --> 00:45:47,717
- Could you tell me why?
- Miss Mallet and l are passengers.
644
00:45:48,760 --> 00:45:50,796
Oh, l see.
645
00:45:51,880 --> 00:45:53,632
Yes.
646
00:45:53,720 --> 00:45:56,154
Did you sleep well last night,
Doctor?
647
00:45:56,240 --> 00:45:58,595
Yes, l did. Thank you for asking.
648
00:45:58,680 --> 00:46:01,148
We played cards rather late,
you know?
649
00:46:01,240 --> 00:46:03,754
Did your temperature
rise a little up?
650
00:46:03,840 --> 00:46:07,594
- Yes, it did, rather.
- Lm sorry we have taken your cabin.
651
00:46:07,680 --> 00:46:11,673
Oh, no, not at all. Anything
l can do to help you at any time...
652
00:46:11,760 --> 00:46:14,797
- lf you catch a cold or something...
- Thank you.
653
00:46:14,880 --> 00:46:16,996
Well, lll see more of you presently.
654
00:46:17,080 --> 00:46:21,517
Oh... ld be grateful if you didnt
mention last night to the Captain.
655
00:46:21,600 --> 00:46:25,149
Of course not.
What is he like, your Captain Hogg?
656
00:46:25,240 --> 00:46:26,593
Well...
657
00:46:30,200 --> 00:46:33,272
Hes inclined
to fly off the handle sometimes.
658
00:46:34,200 --> 00:46:39,115
As there are now ladies aboard, you
will obey the following instructions.
659
00:46:39,200 --> 00:46:42,431
There will be:
one, no skylarking,
660
00:46:47,800 --> 00:46:50,155
You will behave
at all times as officers
661
00:46:50,240 --> 00:46:52,993
and, save the mark, as gentlemen,
662
00:46:53,080 --> 00:46:56,675
bearing in mind that one
of the ladies is in a strong position
663
00:46:56,760 --> 00:46:59,638
to report your conduct
to the Chairman of the Line,
664
00:46:59,720 --> 00:47:03,315
and as lm in the same boat,
youd better keep your noses clean.
665
00:47:03,400 --> 00:47:05,630
- Understand?
- Yes, sir.
666
00:47:05,720 --> 00:47:10,350
Good. ow, theres another matter
l should like to talk to you about.
667
00:47:10,440 --> 00:47:14,353
A certain fellow captain of the line,
who shall be nameless,
668
00:47:14,440 --> 00:47:18,638
seems to be under the impression
that this ship is inferior to his.
669
00:47:18,720 --> 00:47:23,396
This impression must be corrected
forthwith. l ask for suggestions.
670
00:47:23,480 --> 00:47:26,074
- Sir.
- Well?
671
00:47:26,160 --> 00:47:29,914
How about a football match?
Im rather a good kick.
672
00:47:30,000 --> 00:47:34,551
Any kicking to be done aboard
this vessel will be done by me.
673
00:47:34,640 --> 00:47:39,839
Lve decided what were going to do.
Were going to hold a ships dance.
674
00:47:40,920 --> 00:47:45,198
Itll demonstrate
to certain fellow captains of mine -
675
00:47:45,280 --> 00:47:48,795
and the Chairmans daughter
and the colony in general -
676
00:47:48,880 --> 00:47:52,793
that this is the finest vessel
of her tonnage afloat.
677
00:47:52,880 --> 00:47:55,440
There will be a dance, gentlemen...
678
00:47:58,840 --> 00:48:02,389
and itd better be ruddy good,
or lll want to know why!
679
00:48:09,840 --> 00:48:13,150
Come on, lads. Hurry up.
We wont get it finished.
680
00:48:13,240 --> 00:48:14,798
- Mr Trail.
- Sir?
681
00:48:14,880 --> 00:48:17,235
- Balloons.
- L beg your pardon, sir?
682
00:48:17,320 --> 00:48:21,518
Balloons. Every self-respecting dance
has them. Have we got any?
683
00:48:21,600 --> 00:48:23,556
- O, sir.
- Get some.
684
00:48:23,640 --> 00:48:27,474
- Any particular shape, sir?
- Round ones, Mr Trail.
685
00:48:27,560 --> 00:48:30,154
- Youre the entertainments officer?
- Yes, sir.
686
00:48:30,240 --> 00:48:32,708
- What about drink?
- Weve got some cup, sir.
687
00:48:32,800 --> 00:48:36,031
Cup, Mr Trail?
Wine, Mr Trail. Wine for the ladies.
688
00:48:36,120 --> 00:48:38,475
- We havent got any, sir.
- Get some.
689
00:48:38,560 --> 00:48:41,074
See that it says wine on the label.
690
00:48:41,160 --> 00:48:43,993
What are you doing?
Putting down beetle powder?
691
00:48:44,080 --> 00:48:48,756
- O, sir. French chalk for dancing.
- Oh. Come here, Mr Archer.
692
00:49:07,640 --> 00:49:10,074
I dont like your waltzing,
Mr Archer.
693
00:49:10,160 --> 00:49:12,196
Im not fond of the waltz, sir.
694
00:49:12,280 --> 00:49:15,556
My officers waltz.
Put some more of that stuff down.
695
00:49:15,640 --> 00:49:19,189
I think theres sufficient.
Put some more down. r Hornbeam!
696
00:49:19,280 --> 00:49:22,113
This bunting looks like seaweed.
697
00:49:22,200 --> 00:49:27,069
- Sir, we changed it on your orders.
- Change it back again at once.
698
00:49:27,160 --> 00:49:30,232
This is a ships dance,
not an excuse for idleness.
699
00:49:30,320 --> 00:49:32,276
Very good, sir.
700
00:49:32,360 --> 00:49:34,635
Balloons, Mr Trail.
701
00:49:38,840 --> 00:49:42,435
And balloons to you... sir.
702
00:49:42,520 --> 00:49:45,398
- Doctor, come quickly.
- Whats the matter?
703
00:49:45,480 --> 00:49:48,233
- Lts the cook.
- Has he fricasseed himself?
704
00:49:48,320 --> 00:49:50,880
Just about. Can you come at once?
705
00:49:56,640 --> 00:50:00,030
- Jenkins, dont be a fool.
- O, no! o! Let me do it!
706
00:50:00,120 --> 00:50:03,954
- Whats the matter with him?
- His wifes got another man.
707
00:50:04,040 --> 00:50:07,032
Oh, Jenkins. l am sorry.
What did she say?
708
00:50:09,480 --> 00:50:12,438
Dear Vic, just to tell you...
709
00:50:13,520 --> 00:50:17,354
lm in trouble because of my lover.
Rosie.
710
00:50:18,200 --> 00:50:20,236
Can l have a look?
711
00:50:21,320 --> 00:50:23,276
Jenkins, cant you read?
712
00:50:23,360 --> 00:50:27,638
She says, lm in trouble
because of my liver.
713
00:50:37,000 --> 00:50:39,833
Ow, for Petes sake,
get on with your work.
714
00:50:39,920 --> 00:50:41,876
Oh, thank you, Doc.
715
00:50:41,960 --> 00:50:44,713
Why have you taken your teeth out?
716
00:50:44,800 --> 00:50:48,315
I thought l might swallow them
and choke to death.
717
00:50:48,400 --> 00:50:52,313
- Well, put them back in.
- L cant think what l did with them.
718
00:50:52,400 --> 00:50:54,356
Be a good boy and find them.
719
00:51:17,040 --> 00:51:20,191
Good evening. Good evening, Beamish.
720
00:51:20,280 --> 00:51:24,239
Welcome aboard the finest ship in the
Fathom Line, with the finest crew.
721
00:51:24,320 --> 00:51:26,788
- You know Mr Hornbeam.
- Good evening.
722
00:51:26,880 --> 00:51:29,553
- Good evening, sir.
- My doctor. Sparrow.
723
00:51:29,640 --> 00:51:32,473
- Good evening, sir.
- Have we met before?
724
00:51:33,240 --> 00:51:35,595
I dont think so, sir. lm new.
725
00:51:35,680 --> 00:51:38,513
Odd, your face seems familiar.
726
00:51:50,040 --> 00:51:51,792
Oh, sorry.
727
00:51:55,960 --> 00:51:59,191
Look, wait on the upper deck.
Lll get some drinks.
728
00:51:59,280 --> 00:52:02,033
- Up there?
- Yes, up there.
729
00:52:03,120 --> 00:52:05,076
All right.
730
00:52:07,880 --> 00:52:10,440
Easter, l want a couple of drinks.
731
00:52:10,520 --> 00:52:13,114
You know the form -
something, er, special.
732
00:52:13,200 --> 00:52:15,589
Oh! Oh, yes, Mr Trail.
733
00:52:15,680 --> 00:52:18,956
Glasses, Harry.
I have here a little cocktail, sir,
734
00:52:19,040 --> 00:52:22,510
that l have prepared special
for myself and friends.
735
00:52:22,600 --> 00:52:24,556
I call it fire alarm.
736
00:52:24,640 --> 00:52:26,596
It looks jolly good. Whats in it?
737
00:52:26,680 --> 00:52:30,832
That, sir - as the bartending
brotherhood say - would be telling.
738
00:52:36,760 --> 00:52:38,716
Its tremendous!
739
00:52:47,080 --> 00:52:49,992
- Here you are.
- Thank you.
740
00:52:50,080 --> 00:52:52,640
- Bung-ho.
- Bung-ho.
741
00:53:00,240 --> 00:53:02,879
Its strong, isnt it?
742
00:53:02,960 --> 00:53:05,554
- Oh, is it?
- Mmm.
743
00:53:05,640 --> 00:53:08,234
- Lts the fruit youre tasting.
- Oh!
744
00:53:08,320 --> 00:53:12,074
I say... Would you care
to come and see the steering gear?
745
00:53:12,160 --> 00:53:13,912
Why?
746
00:53:14,000 --> 00:53:17,959
Well, its, er... rather interesting.
Ld like you to see it.
747
00:53:18,040 --> 00:53:21,555
Oh! All right.
748
00:53:21,640 --> 00:53:23,790
Splendid.
749
00:53:28,040 --> 00:53:29,996
Come along.
750
00:53:31,840 --> 00:53:35,037
- Captain, you do waltz well.
- Thank you.
751
00:53:35,120 --> 00:53:38,237
- Do you jitterbug, too?
- Madam, l do not.
752
00:53:38,320 --> 00:53:40,709
Dont you?
I shall have to teach you.
753
00:53:40,800 --> 00:53:45,555
We can cut a rug during the long
voyage home. Well have a lot of fun.
754
00:53:45,640 --> 00:53:47,915
Oh, sorry! Was that your foot?
755
00:53:48,000 --> 00:53:51,595
- Lt was. Excuse me.
- Again?
756
00:53:51,680 --> 00:53:53,910
- Hello.
- Thank you very much.
757
00:53:55,240 --> 00:53:59,028
- What do you do on this ship?
- Lm an apprentice.
758
00:53:59,120 --> 00:54:02,112
- Youre learning the job?
- Thats right.
759
00:54:02,200 --> 00:54:05,749
Seems to me youve learned it
pretty well already.
760
00:54:10,080 --> 00:54:12,116
Are you a very good doctor?
761
00:54:12,200 --> 00:54:14,919
Im a better doctor
than l am a dancer.
762
00:54:15,000 --> 00:54:18,675
Doesnt matter.
Were going in the right direction.
763
00:54:18,760 --> 00:54:22,230
Yes, l know.
Thats what l was worried about.
764
00:54:22,320 --> 00:54:25,198
It worries you? Why?
765
00:54:25,280 --> 00:54:29,876
Well, its, erm...
out of the frying pan into the fire.
766
00:54:29,960 --> 00:54:34,158
Simon, you speak too quickly.
Please, speak in French.
767
00:54:34,240 --> 00:54:36,800
I dont know the French
for frying pan.
768
00:54:36,880 --> 00:54:39,519
What is that, frying pan?
769
00:54:39,600 --> 00:54:42,751
In English, we call it... Wendy.
770
00:54:42,840 --> 00:54:46,276
Wendy?
Its the name of a girl in English.
771
00:54:46,360 --> 00:54:49,670
- Yes.
- But its also a frying pan?
772
00:54:49,760 --> 00:54:54,038
- Er, yes, in a way.
- And Helene, what is that?
773
00:54:54,120 --> 00:54:58,875
Ah. Er, lm afraid... its the fire.
774
00:55:06,320 --> 00:55:08,436
Ah. Here we are.
775
00:55:08,520 --> 00:55:10,909
- Bung-ho.
- Bung-ho.
776
00:55:15,000 --> 00:55:18,879
- Strong, isnt it?
- Thats the fruit youre tasting.
777
00:55:18,960 --> 00:55:21,793
Would you care
to see the steering gear?
778
00:55:21,880 --> 00:55:23,233
Why?
779
00:55:23,320 --> 00:55:26,596
Its rather interesting.
Ld like you to see it.
780
00:55:26,680 --> 00:55:29,319
- All right.
- Splendid.
781
00:55:29,400 --> 00:55:31,391
Come on.
782
00:55:36,120 --> 00:55:38,918
Oh. Do you know
where the Doctor is, sir?
783
00:55:39,000 --> 00:55:41,594
The Doctor?
I think hes on the poop.
784
00:55:41,680 --> 00:55:45,275
Hes wanted. Two stokers knocked
themselves out dancing.
785
00:55:45,360 --> 00:55:48,193
Dancing? l wager they were fighting.
786
00:55:48,280 --> 00:55:52,068
O, they were executing
the pas-de-deux from Swan Lake, sir.
787
00:55:52,160 --> 00:55:54,435
Pardon? ld better find him.
788
00:55:54,520 --> 00:55:57,034
Theres only one way
to run a ship - method.
789
00:55:57,120 --> 00:55:59,076
- Eh? Beamish.
- By all means.
790
00:55:59,160 --> 00:56:03,950
Order and method. A place for
everything, everything in its place.
791
00:56:04,040 --> 00:56:05,996
And nowhere else.
792
00:56:09,280 --> 00:56:11,236
Jenkins!
793
00:56:13,880 --> 00:56:15,836
Excuse me.
794
00:56:19,480 --> 00:56:21,436
Thank you, sir.
795
00:56:26,680 --> 00:56:29,194
Lve seen the steering gear.
796
00:56:29,280 --> 00:56:33,478
Have you? So you have.
Well, um... come and see it again.
797
00:56:33,560 --> 00:56:38,350
Isnt there another part of this ship
with less of that nasty iron about?
798
00:56:38,440 --> 00:56:40,635
I expect we can find somewhere.
799
00:57:02,400 --> 00:57:04,356
Come on. Wake up.
800
00:57:05,680 --> 00:57:08,194
I dont want
to see the steering gear.
801
00:57:08,280 --> 00:57:11,556
O, but youve got to see
your own bed.
802
00:57:11,680 --> 00:57:13,830
Thats right.
803
00:57:14,920 --> 00:57:17,673
- Home, James.
- Wait a minute.
804
00:57:21,840 --> 00:57:24,195
Come here. You cant sleep here.
805
00:57:40,840 --> 00:57:42,796
Shh! Quiet!
806
00:57:43,560 --> 00:57:45,312
Whee!
807
00:57:45,400 --> 00:57:49,029
Ow, do be quiet, please.
Ow, stand there.
808
00:57:52,000 --> 00:57:54,116
Oh, do stand up.
809
00:58:01,760 --> 00:58:03,716
Come on.
810
00:58:08,640 --> 00:58:10,756
- Ln there.
- Shh!
811
00:58:10,840 --> 00:58:12,796
Oh, shh!
812
00:58:21,600 --> 00:58:23,352
Oh!
813
00:58:24,640 --> 00:58:26,596
Up you get.
814
00:58:27,480 --> 00:58:29,436
Just a minute.
815
00:58:32,000 --> 00:58:34,753
Lovely steering gear.
816
00:58:34,840 --> 00:58:37,308
What are you doing with my daughter?
817
00:58:37,400 --> 00:58:40,676
Oh... lm terribly sorry, sir,
shes a bit tired.
818
00:58:40,760 --> 00:58:43,957
- How dare you, you swine?
- O, lm a doctor...
819
00:58:44,040 --> 00:58:46,554
- Youve drugged her?
- Of course not.
820
00:58:46,640 --> 00:58:49,916
- Lm going to murder you.
- Listen to reason, sir.
821
00:58:50,000 --> 00:58:52,673
Im going to trample you
into the carpet.
822
00:58:52,760 --> 00:58:55,115
I shouldnt, sir.
823
00:58:55,200 --> 00:58:57,156
Scared, eh? l know your sort.
824
00:58:57,240 --> 00:59:01,631
O, lm not thinking of myself,
or your carpet, lm thinking of you.
825
00:59:01,720 --> 00:59:05,508
- Huh! You neednt think about me.
- Well, sir, l had to as a doctor.
826
00:59:05,600 --> 00:59:08,558
Violent exersise is very dangerous
with your complaint.
827
00:59:08,640 --> 00:59:12,235
Dont play for time...
What complaint?
828
00:59:12,320 --> 00:59:14,550
You have Higginbottoms disease, sir.
829
00:59:14,640 --> 00:59:17,234
- O, l do not.
- Oh!
830
00:59:17,320 --> 00:59:19,788
I suppose
they were afraid to tell you.
831
00:59:19,880 --> 00:59:25,512
Ow. Mm-hmm... Oh, dear.
Im afraid its all too obvious.
832
00:59:25,600 --> 00:59:29,115
- Yes. The symptoms are all there.
- Poor Daddy.
833
00:59:29,200 --> 00:59:31,794
Would you put your arms
above your head?
834
00:59:31,880 --> 00:59:34,075
- O, l wont.
- Hurts, does it?
835
00:59:34,160 --> 00:59:36,116
Certainly not.
836
00:59:36,200 --> 00:59:38,156
Ot very good, is it?
837
00:59:38,240 --> 00:59:43,394
Ever mind. l wonder
if youd just try to bend over.
838
00:59:43,480 --> 00:59:47,473
Down you go. l assure you,
this is a matter of life and death.
839
00:59:47,560 --> 00:59:49,516
- Oh!
- Lts all right.
840
00:59:49,600 --> 00:59:53,388
Just you stay there for a moment.
Would you start counting?
841
00:59:53,480 --> 00:59:57,234
One... two... three... four...
842
00:59:57,320 --> 01:00:01,677
five... six... seven... eight...
843
01:00:01,760 --> 01:00:06,914
nine... ten... eleven... twelve...
thirteen...
844
01:00:12,920 --> 01:00:15,957
Ordinary Seamen Wilson
and Merritt for logging.
845
01:00:16,040 --> 01:00:20,989
- All right, wheel the perishers in.
- Very good, sir. Come on, you two.
846
01:00:23,600 --> 01:00:25,909
Wilson and Merritt, found fighting,
847
01:00:26,000 --> 01:00:29,879
contrary to Article 1 7
of the Merchant avy Act.
848
01:00:29,960 --> 01:00:33,396
Ow, l want to make one thing
perfectly clear to you two.
849
01:00:33,480 --> 01:00:36,313
Youre getting a fair hearing
this morning.
850
01:00:36,400 --> 01:00:40,075
Youre free to ask questions of me
or other officers,
851
01:00:40,160 --> 01:00:42,913
and you may call witnesses
in your defence.
852
01:00:43,000 --> 01:00:46,675
I believe a man is innocent
until hes proved guilty.
853
01:00:46,760 --> 01:00:49,911
- Do you hear that?
- Yes, sir.
854
01:00:50,000 --> 01:00:54,471
Very well. ow you tell me
your version of the story.
855
01:00:54,560 --> 01:00:58,235
Well, it was like this, sir.
We were having a cup of tea...
856
01:00:58,320 --> 01:01:00,709
You flaming liar! You were drunk!
857
01:01:00,800 --> 01:01:02,552
- Who? Me, sir?
- Who me?
858
01:01:02,640 --> 01:01:05,074
Of course you were.
Dont answer back!
859
01:01:05,160 --> 01:01:07,435
Cup of tea!
What do you take me for?
860
01:01:07,520 --> 01:01:11,274
I was at sea when the marks
of the cradle were still on your...
861
01:01:11,360 --> 01:01:13,635
- Mr Hornbeam, they were fighting?
- Yes, sir.
862
01:01:13,720 --> 01:01:16,393
Doctor, you found these men drunk?
863
01:01:16,480 --> 01:01:19,950
- Well, sir, tests...
- The Doctor agrees with me.
864
01:01:20,040 --> 01:01:23,589
You were soused! Do you know
what ld like to do with you?
865
01:01:23,680 --> 01:01:27,309
Ld like to clap you in irons
till we get back to port.
866
01:01:27,400 --> 01:01:30,790
Ld like to lash you to the mast -
STAD UP STRAlGHT! -
867
01:01:30,880 --> 01:01:33,155
and flog the living hide off you!
868
01:01:33,240 --> 01:01:35,515
Thats what you scum deserve.
869
01:01:35,600 --> 01:01:39,798
You dozy, idle, loafing,
illegitimate cut-throats.
870
01:01:42,560 --> 01:01:46,075
All right. Fined five shillings.
Good morning.
871
01:01:46,160 --> 01:01:48,355
All right. Get out.
872
01:01:48,440 --> 01:01:50,749
Isnt it a lovely morning?
873
01:01:53,520 --> 01:01:55,476
Exquisite morning, sir.
874
01:01:55,560 --> 01:02:00,953
This isnt a pleasure cruise. Tell
Mr Hornbeam to get that cargo stowed.
875
01:02:01,040 --> 01:02:04,635
- Lt looks like a bundle of knitting.
- Er... Aye, aye, sir.
876
01:02:04,720 --> 01:02:09,191
Mr Hornbeam? Mr Hornbeam,
l wonder if youd mind...?
877
01:02:09,280 --> 01:02:13,671
- Hornbeam, get that cargo secured!
- Aye, aye, sir.
878
01:02:13,760 --> 01:02:18,914
Captain Beamish didnt have nearly
such a pretty bridge as you, Captain.
879
01:02:20,440 --> 01:02:24,274
You know, it would nice
if you had some ivy in pots,
880
01:02:24,360 --> 01:02:27,397
sort of trailing over everything,
wouldnt it?
881
01:02:27,480 --> 01:02:31,155
- Your father wouldnt approve.
- Daddy does what l suggest.
882
01:02:31,240 --> 01:02:34,073
- He calls me his ideas girl.
- L can see why.
883
01:02:34,160 --> 01:02:36,116
Get out of my way!
884
01:02:40,960 --> 01:02:44,032
Dont you ever feel isolated up here,
Captain?
885
01:02:44,120 --> 01:02:46,395
- O, Miss Mallet.
- Oh.
886
01:02:46,480 --> 01:02:49,950
Of course you have the seagulls,
l suppose,
887
01:02:50,040 --> 01:02:53,874
but you cant have nice,
cosy chats with them, can you?
888
01:02:55,200 --> 01:02:59,478
- Oh, may l ask a favour, Captain?
- Of course, Miss Mallet.
889
01:02:59,560 --> 01:03:04,031
- May l drive it for a little?
- Drive it?!
890
01:03:04,120 --> 01:03:06,680
Daddy says every woman
should know how to.
891
01:03:06,760 --> 01:03:09,911
Oh, does he? Quartermaster,
Miss Mallet will take over.
892
01:03:10,000 --> 01:03:11,956
- Aye, aye, sir.
- Oh, thank you.
893
01:03:12,040 --> 01:03:15,953
Mr Fellowes. Mr Archer.
Send the Doctor to me at once.
894
01:03:16,040 --> 01:03:19,157
Mr Archer, attend Miss Mallet
in the wheelhouse.
895
01:03:19,240 --> 01:03:23,711
Oh, is there a Highway Code
or something l should read first?
896
01:03:27,160 --> 01:03:30,072
Oh, Mr Archer, dear,
which are the brakes?
897
01:03:30,160 --> 01:03:32,116
- Brakes?
- Of course.
898
01:03:42,320 --> 01:03:44,709
Good morning, sir. You sent for me?
899
01:03:44,800 --> 01:03:48,349
Its about this woman Mallet,
the one with the teeth.
900
01:03:48,440 --> 01:03:51,432
- Shes pursuing me.
- L hadnt noticed, sir.
901
01:03:51,520 --> 01:03:53,590
Dont be such a confounded liar.
902
01:03:53,680 --> 01:03:56,478
You know lm a calm,
reasonable sort of man,
903
01:03:56,560 --> 01:03:59,757
but she might drive me
to lose control of myself.
904
01:03:59,840 --> 01:04:03,435
- Really, sir?
- Lts an awkward situation for me.
905
01:04:03,520 --> 01:04:07,149
- What are you gonna do about it?
- L dont know what l can do.
906
01:04:07,240 --> 01:04:10,676
Give her a pill
to make her sleep for a fortnight.
907
01:04:10,760 --> 01:04:12,716
Wouldnt that be difficult
908
01:04:12,800 --> 01:04:16,793
to explain to the prospective
patients father, sir?
909
01:04:16,880 --> 01:04:19,189
Yes, l hadnt thought of that.
910
01:04:19,280 --> 01:04:22,192
But this cant go on.
The womans obsessed!
911
01:04:22,280 --> 01:04:25,670
- L could try psychiatry...
- l dont want that muck on my ship!
912
01:04:25,760 --> 01:04:28,433
Youd better give me something.
913
01:04:28,520 --> 01:04:31,717
Something in the nature
of a... love potion, sir?
914
01:04:31,800 --> 01:04:33,791
To make the obsession mutual?
915
01:04:33,880 --> 01:04:38,510
Dont be disgusting. o, something
to calm my nerves. Make it strong.
916
01:04:38,600 --> 01:04:41,273
A sedative.
It might also calm your temper.
917
01:04:41,360 --> 01:04:43,999
- L havent got a temper!
- All right, sir,
918
01:04:44,080 --> 01:04:46,719
but dont drink alcohol
at the same time,
919
01:04:46,800 --> 01:04:49,155
otherwise youll be excessive...
920
01:04:51,000 --> 01:04:55,278
excessively drunk, and the
consequences could be disastrous.
921
01:04:55,360 --> 01:04:58,875
Very well. Send it up right away
and see its good.
922
01:04:58,960 --> 01:05:00,916
Yes, sir.
923
01:05:05,040 --> 01:05:09,397
Excuse me, Doc, but Father - the
Captain - wants another box of pills.
924
01:05:09,480 --> 01:05:11,436
- Another?
- Yes, sir.
925
01:05:11,520 --> 01:05:13,476
Oh, well. All right.
926
01:05:18,120 --> 01:05:20,076
Ice and quiet, Mr Hornbeam.
927
01:05:20,160 --> 01:05:22,276
- Yes, sir. Very.
- Restful, eh?
928
01:05:22,360 --> 01:05:24,316
Yes, sir.
929
01:05:25,320 --> 01:05:27,276
Your new pills, sir.
930
01:05:27,360 --> 01:05:31,592
Thank you. Put them in my cabin,
will you? l dont need them today.
931
01:05:33,280 --> 01:05:36,670
Mr Hornbeam,
what are those men doing below there?
932
01:05:39,200 --> 01:05:41,156
- Lll see, sir.
- Lll go myself.
933
01:05:41,240 --> 01:05:44,312
- Obody has enough to do.
- Good morning, sir.
934
01:05:44,400 --> 01:05:47,073
Your stocking, Mr Fellowes.
935
01:05:50,080 --> 01:05:52,036
Excuse me, sir.
936
01:05:54,320 --> 01:05:56,276
The skipper!
937
01:06:10,320 --> 01:06:12,993
Good morning, Captain.
Come to sunbathe?
938
01:06:13,080 --> 01:06:16,516
- L do not sunbathe.
- You should. lts so good for you.
939
01:06:16,600 --> 01:06:18,556
Daddy does whenever he can.
940
01:06:18,640 --> 01:06:21,313
You might find somewhere less public!
941
01:06:21,400 --> 01:06:24,631
Oh, how sweet of you.
Well come up on the bridge.
942
01:06:24,720 --> 01:06:26,790
Go along, darling.
943
01:06:44,560 --> 01:06:46,312
Sir.
944
01:06:51,600 --> 01:06:53,989
Thanks, Doc.
945
01:06:54,080 --> 01:06:57,834
- Ext, please.
- Ext, please. ext?
946
01:07:03,080 --> 01:07:05,036
What is the matter with you?
947
01:07:05,120 --> 01:07:07,759
- Lm stuck.
- Stoker Corble, sir. Stuck.
948
01:07:07,840 --> 01:07:09,193
- Stuck?
- Stuck.
949
01:07:09,280 --> 01:07:12,750
There l am, Doctor, stoking,
minding my own business,
950
01:07:12,840 --> 01:07:16,230
when suddenly l get stuck,
just like this - look.
951
01:07:16,320 --> 01:07:18,675
- You cant stand up straight?
- O.
952
01:07:18,760 --> 01:07:21,797
What we of the medical fraternity
call a sloppy disc.
953
01:07:21,880 --> 01:07:24,997
O, it isnt.
Easter, go and stand round there.
954
01:07:27,080 --> 01:07:29,640
Ow, put your hands
on Easters shoulders
955
01:07:29,720 --> 01:07:31,836
and try and stand up straight.
956
01:07:35,040 --> 01:07:37,270
- Hurt?
- O.
957
01:07:37,360 --> 01:07:39,476
Cant feel a thing.
958
01:07:39,560 --> 01:07:41,994
- Did you feel that?
- Yeah. lt tickles.
959
01:07:42,080 --> 01:07:45,959
Easter. Come here. Get underneath
and take the strain.
960
01:07:46,040 --> 01:07:49,999
Ow, look, you push up,
and lll try and pull. Right?
961
01:07:51,600 --> 01:07:55,275
Shall l get the chief engineer
to fix up a block and tackle?
962
01:07:55,360 --> 01:07:57,590
O, l dont think thats necessary.
963
01:07:57,680 --> 01:08:01,195
Hey, Doc, lm not going to be left
this way for keeps, am l?
964
01:08:01,280 --> 01:08:03,589
The wifell think
lm taking the mickey.
965
01:08:03,680 --> 01:08:08,117
Youll be all right in a jiffy.
Easter, get me some oil, will you?
966
01:08:08,200 --> 01:08:11,351
To rub him down with.
This needs loosening up.
967
01:08:11,440 --> 01:08:15,319
- Weve got some castor oil.
- Anything will do.
968
01:08:15,400 --> 01:08:18,153
Thank you.
Miss Mallet pinched the olive oil
969
01:08:18,240 --> 01:08:20,629
for her bains de soleil,
as the French say.
970
01:08:37,440 --> 01:08:39,431
Good morning.
971
01:08:40,120 --> 01:08:42,315
Good morning, miss.
972
01:08:45,800 --> 01:08:48,519
Er... Thanks, Doc. You fixed me fine.
973
01:08:50,200 --> 01:08:52,156
What can l do for you?
974
01:08:52,240 --> 01:08:55,710
Well, lve had a little backache,
but its all right.
975
01:08:55,800 --> 01:08:58,951
Im sure we can find
something wrong with you.
976
01:09:01,040 --> 01:09:02,996
Oh!
977
01:09:04,760 --> 01:09:07,991
Ow, then.
How about a little pink gin?
978
01:09:10,160 --> 01:09:13,516
There, Miss Mallet.
Lve rubbed almost everything.
979
01:09:13,600 --> 01:09:15,750
Thank you. lt feels lovely.
980
01:09:16,840 --> 01:09:18,796
Captain, hello.
981
01:09:18,880 --> 01:09:22,031
You dont mind my borrowing
your officer, do you?
982
01:09:22,120 --> 01:09:24,714
As far as lm concerned,
you can keep him.
983
01:09:24,800 --> 01:09:29,351
As a deck officer, l have always
thought hed make a good greaser.
984
01:09:30,440 --> 01:09:32,192
Oh!
985
01:09:32,280 --> 01:09:35,033
Dont worry.
He doesnt really mean it.
986
01:09:35,120 --> 01:09:37,076
Othing l do seems to please.
987
01:09:37,160 --> 01:09:39,913
There you are.
988
01:09:40,000 --> 01:09:42,468
Drink it down. ltll do you good.
989
01:09:42,560 --> 01:09:46,712
This is the first time lve ever
drunk pink gin in a medicine glass.
990
01:09:46,800 --> 01:09:48,791
I wish l could say the same.
991
01:09:48,880 --> 01:09:50,836
Bonne chance.
992
01:09:52,880 --> 01:09:56,077
- You have no work?
- Business is not brisk today.
993
01:09:56,160 --> 01:09:59,232
- Do you enjoy it?
- What? The job?
994
01:09:59,320 --> 01:10:01,788
Oh, l dont know. Quite.
995
01:10:01,880 --> 01:10:04,838
Im afraid some of them
dont think much of me.
996
01:10:04,920 --> 01:10:07,354
- They think lm a landlubber.
- Quoi?
997
01:10:07,440 --> 01:10:09,715
Er... A little bit green.
998
01:10:09,800 --> 01:10:12,598
- Oh.
- You cant blame them, really.
999
01:10:13,360 --> 01:10:15,316
Why do you do it?
1000
01:10:15,400 --> 01:10:18,198
I developed
what is known as an allergy.
1001
01:10:18,280 --> 01:10:21,078
What to? Feathers or something?
1002
01:10:21,160 --> 01:10:25,233
O, to hungry girls in glasses
called Wendy.
1003
01:10:25,320 --> 01:10:27,276
Oh, l see.
1004
01:10:27,840 --> 01:10:30,559
Are you better now?
1005
01:10:30,640 --> 01:10:33,677
Oh, yes. lm much better, thank you.
1006
01:10:33,760 --> 01:10:37,036
Its usually the doctor
that does the questioning.
1007
01:10:37,120 --> 01:10:42,558
- Oh, l am sorry. Go ahead.
- Well, um...
1008
01:10:42,640 --> 01:10:44,756
Are you allergic to anything?
1009
01:10:44,840 --> 01:10:47,798
Er... ships doctors, for example?
1010
01:10:47,880 --> 01:10:50,030
I havent noticed it.
1011
01:10:53,560 --> 01:10:57,439
- Excuse me, Doc. lts urgent.
- Lf its the cook, cut him down.
1012
01:10:57,520 --> 01:11:00,193
O, its old Harry.
He doesnt look good.
1013
01:11:00,280 --> 01:11:02,919
He says his belly - pardon -
his abdomen hurts.
1014
01:11:03,000 --> 01:11:05,036
All right. Will you excuse me?
1015
01:11:17,880 --> 01:11:22,032
Excuse me, sir. Sir, do you think
we can go a little faster?
1016
01:11:22,120 --> 01:11:24,236
- Why?
- Lts old Harry, sir.
1017
01:11:24,320 --> 01:11:27,756
Hes got an acute appendicitis.
I must get him to hospital.
1018
01:11:27,840 --> 01:11:30,673
- Why?
- For an operation, sir.
1019
01:11:30,760 --> 01:11:33,877
You know l cant make port
for at least three days.
1020
01:11:33,960 --> 01:11:36,793
- Youll have to operate yourself.
- Me, sir?
1021
01:11:36,880 --> 01:11:38,916
- Youre the doctor.
- Well...
1022
01:11:39,000 --> 01:11:42,356
- Thats what youre paid for.
- Lm not the surgeon.
1023
01:11:42,440 --> 01:11:46,433
I dont care. lll have no dead
quartermasters aboard my ship.
1024
01:11:46,520 --> 01:11:50,354
- Operate yourself. Thats an order.
- Very well, sir.
1025
01:11:50,440 --> 01:11:54,718
If you want any nurses,
lm sure the ladies will oblige.
1026
01:11:54,800 --> 01:11:56,756
Oh, with pleasure.
1027
01:12:00,320 --> 01:12:04,438
Scrub it down thoroughly,
and then sterilise the instruments.
1028
01:12:04,520 --> 01:12:06,476
Yes, Doctor.
1029
01:12:06,560 --> 01:12:10,235
- Ever given an anaesthetic?
- Yes, Doc. Once in the Red Sea...
1030
01:12:10,320 --> 01:12:13,949
- Yes, all right.
- Are you a bit nervous, Doctor?
1031
01:12:14,040 --> 01:12:15,996
Well, as a matter of fact l am.
1032
01:12:16,080 --> 01:12:18,992
Maybe a little medical comfort, sir?
1033
01:12:19,080 --> 01:12:23,437
Afterwards. lm going to get some
more bulbs. Do what you can here.
1034
01:12:28,120 --> 01:12:29,872
Easter!
1035
01:12:32,000 --> 01:12:35,470
- How do you lay em out?
- Lie on it. lll show you.
1036
01:12:35,560 --> 01:12:40,953
Hands on your chest, now, like this.
Hell slip off this like a wet fish.
1037
01:12:41,040 --> 01:12:44,396
- Very dignified. Look.
- Smooth as a babys bottom.
1038
01:12:44,480 --> 01:12:47,711
Othing like a good burial
at sea for dignity, l say.
1039
01:12:47,800 --> 01:12:50,109
Hello, Doc. Just taking precautions.
1040
01:12:50,200 --> 01:12:52,156
So l see.
1041
01:12:52,960 --> 01:12:57,511
Here. Hold this. Dont forget, two
waves and hes kicked the bucket.
1042
01:12:57,600 --> 01:13:00,831
Then you lower away to half-mast.
Good morning, Doc.
1043
01:13:00,920 --> 01:13:04,230
- Good morning.
- Dont take it too hard, will you?
1044
01:13:21,640 --> 01:13:23,358
OK.
1045
01:13:53,920 --> 01:13:55,876
Forceps.
1046
01:13:55,960 --> 01:13:57,996
O, the others.
1047
01:14:01,360 --> 01:14:03,920
Whats Harrys chances, Chippie?
1048
01:14:04,000 --> 01:14:08,596
Oh, l dont know. l dont think this
Docs ever done a job like this.
1049
01:14:18,400 --> 01:14:20,960
All right, Doc?
1050
01:14:21,040 --> 01:14:23,076
Yes. Yes, l think hell do.
1051
01:14:36,880 --> 01:14:39,758
Hes all right. A good pulse.
1052
01:14:41,760 --> 01:14:44,228
O sign of infection.
1053
01:14:44,320 --> 01:14:46,993
It would have come by now
if was going to.
1054
01:14:47,080 --> 01:14:49,833
Simon, why dont you go to bed?
1055
01:14:49,920 --> 01:14:52,992
You havent had any sleep
for a long time.
1056
01:14:53,080 --> 01:14:57,039
O, not yet.
I must wait till lm quite sure.
1057
01:14:59,400 --> 01:15:03,598
- Do you want some more coffee?
- Hmm? Oh, yes.
1058
01:15:05,680 --> 01:15:10,834
- Youre a very good nurse, you know?
- Youre a very good doctor, l know.
1059
01:15:13,360 --> 01:15:16,955
Oh, excuse me, Doc.
Theres someone to see you. Special.
1060
01:15:17,040 --> 01:15:20,396
Oh, for Petes sake!
Give him a couple of aspro.
1061
01:15:20,480 --> 01:15:23,233
Tell him to come back
tomorrow morning.
1062
01:15:25,400 --> 01:15:28,392
Easter, all right, send him in.
Lll see him.
1063
01:15:28,480 --> 01:15:30,550
Theres more than one, Doc.
1064
01:15:30,640 --> 01:15:33,279
Oh? All right.
1065
01:15:34,160 --> 01:15:36,116
Doc says come in.
1066
01:15:43,120 --> 01:15:44,633
Well?
1067
01:15:44,720 --> 01:15:49,316
Sir, representing the crew
of the SS Lotus of the Fathom Line,
1068
01:15:49,400 --> 01:15:53,439
weve taken the liberty to come here
and express our gratitude
1069
01:15:53,520 --> 01:15:56,273
for what youve done
for old Harry there.
1070
01:15:56,360 --> 01:16:01,036
You see, were all very fond
of old Harry, and er...
1071
01:16:01,120 --> 01:16:05,238
lts our opinion, nem. con.,
that youre a proper ships doctor
1072
01:16:05,320 --> 01:16:08,551
to have done that,
seeing what a pickle he was in.
1073
01:16:09,720 --> 01:16:15,477
And so, sir, wed like you to accept
this small token of our esteem.
1074
01:16:21,080 --> 01:16:24,629
- Thats yours, Sandeman.
- Ld like you to have it, Doc.
1075
01:16:27,880 --> 01:16:30,030
Thank you. l...
1076
01:16:33,680 --> 01:16:35,910
Thank you, very much.
1077
01:16:36,000 --> 01:16:38,992
You see, sir, we felt that...
1078
01:16:51,360 --> 01:16:54,477
Are you glad
they have given you the bird?
1079
01:16:54,560 --> 01:16:56,790
Er, yes, in a way.
1080
01:17:00,160 --> 01:17:02,993
I seem to have won 33 and six
from you, Captain.
1081
01:17:03,080 --> 01:17:06,038
- Shall l add it to the list?
- Lf you please.
1082
01:17:07,120 --> 01:17:09,475
What are those pills you keep taking?
1083
01:17:09,560 --> 01:17:12,518
- Theyre for headaches.
- Oh, do you have one?
1084
01:17:12,600 --> 01:17:15,478
- L have on this trip.
- You worry.
1085
01:17:15,560 --> 01:17:19,394
About your promotion, perhaps?
Oh, lm sure you neednt.
1086
01:17:19,480 --> 01:17:22,995
Somehow, l can see
the one thick stripe on your arm.
1087
01:17:23,080 --> 01:17:25,833
Commodore Hogg of the Fathom Line.
1088
01:17:26,920 --> 01:17:29,480
I wonder if Daddy could see it, too?
1089
01:17:30,560 --> 01:17:36,032
Yes. Commodore Sir Wentworth Hogg.
Yes. Yes, it suits you.
1090
01:17:36,120 --> 01:17:38,350
Very kind of you to say so, lm sure.
1091
01:17:38,440 --> 01:17:42,433
Theres just one teeny thing
against it perhaps.
1092
01:17:43,800 --> 01:17:46,030
Youre not married.
1093
01:17:46,120 --> 01:17:49,795
Steamship lines do like
their Commodores to be married.
1094
01:17:49,880 --> 01:17:52,678
It seems to make them more stable.
1095
01:17:52,760 --> 01:17:55,115
I know Daddy feels like that.
1096
01:17:57,240 --> 01:17:59,674
Oh, well. l must go and tidy up.
1097
01:18:00,760 --> 01:18:05,231
Thank you for the game.
It was lovely... Wentworth.
1098
01:18:21,880 --> 01:18:24,553
Good evening, Mr Archer.
Lovely evening.
1099
01:18:24,640 --> 01:18:27,154
Yes, indeed. ls the Captain engaged?
1100
01:18:27,240 --> 01:18:30,198
Engaged?
I think its a little too soon...
1101
01:18:30,280 --> 01:18:33,556
Oh, you mean busy.
I thought you meant, er...
1102
01:18:33,640 --> 01:18:36,996
o, he isnt busy, Mr Archer.
Lve just left him.
1103
01:18:46,840 --> 01:18:48,796
Oh!
1104
01:18:50,040 --> 01:18:51,996
Oh!
1105
01:18:57,480 --> 01:18:59,436
Come.
1106
01:19:00,640 --> 01:19:03,393
- Good evening, sir.
- What do you want?
1107
01:19:03,480 --> 01:19:07,758
Well, among other things,
ld like to offer my congratulations.
1108
01:19:07,840 --> 01:19:11,913
- L hope lm the first to do so.
- What are you chattering about?
1109
01:19:12,000 --> 01:19:16,915
Miss Mallet, sir. The happy event.
Your impending nuptials.
1110
01:19:17,000 --> 01:19:19,958
And who told you
l was engaged to Miss Mallet?
1111
01:19:20,040 --> 01:19:22,190
Well, sir... Er...
1112
01:19:22,280 --> 01:19:24,236
Come here.
1113
01:19:24,320 --> 01:19:29,394
Come here! Has this crew got
nothing better to do than gossip?
1114
01:19:29,480 --> 01:19:33,837
Its time they had! lm nothing
of the sort, do you understand?
1115
01:19:33,920 --> 01:19:37,469
And now get out! Get out!
1116
01:19:39,840 --> 01:19:42,673
- The meteorological report...
- Get out!
1117
01:19:57,680 --> 01:19:59,636
- Simon?
- Hmm?
1118
01:19:59,720 --> 01:20:02,473
This time tomorrow,
you will be in England.
1119
01:20:02,560 --> 01:20:03,913
Yes.
1120
01:20:04,000 --> 01:20:07,913
And that will be the end
of our little shipboard romance.
1121
01:20:08,000 --> 01:20:12,994
Yes, l suppose it will. Were playing
a very traditional scene.
1122
01:20:13,080 --> 01:20:15,275
Traditional? Why?
1123
01:20:15,360 --> 01:20:18,511
Well, weve got a ships rail,
a calm sea, moonlight,
1124
01:20:18,600 --> 01:20:20,750
you and me, the end of a voyage.
1125
01:20:20,840 --> 01:20:25,789
- All we need is a celestial choir.
- You sound sad.
1126
01:20:25,880 --> 01:20:29,998
Well, l am sad.
What happens to you now?
1127
01:20:31,200 --> 01:20:36,752
I will take some holidays, and after,
go on working somewhere. And you?
1128
01:20:36,840 --> 01:20:38,990
Im staying on with the ship.
1129
01:20:39,080 --> 01:20:42,436
Theyre bound for Rio,
and lve never seen Rio.
1130
01:20:42,520 --> 01:20:47,469
- Are there any frying pans in Rio?
- Hundreds, l should think.
1131
01:20:48,640 --> 01:20:51,791
Why dont you come with me
and find out?
1132
01:20:54,680 --> 01:20:57,638
I dont think
ld be a very good doctors wife.
1133
01:20:59,120 --> 01:21:05,150
I wouldnt be very good in cabaret.
I could learn tricks from Easter.
1134
01:21:05,240 --> 01:21:09,836
Well, l think we have to say goodbye
now, before...
1135
01:21:10,920 --> 01:21:12,876
Yes.
1136
01:21:17,000 --> 01:21:19,116
Bon voyage, Doctor.
1137
01:21:19,200 --> 01:21:20,679
Bon voyage.
1138
01:21:24,040 --> 01:21:26,998
- Whos on watch?
- L am, sir.
1139
01:21:27,080 --> 01:21:29,230
You go below. lm taking over.
1140
01:21:31,160 --> 01:21:33,116
Very good, sir.
1141
01:21:33,200 --> 01:21:37,239
- You get below, too.
- Aye, aye, sir.
1142
01:21:37,320 --> 01:21:39,276
And dont mince!
1143
01:21:39,360 --> 01:21:41,316
Ooh!
1144
01:21:51,440 --> 01:21:55,479
Wentworth... Dear Wentworth...
1145
01:22:08,280 --> 01:22:10,032
Harry.
1146
01:22:14,840 --> 01:22:16,910
- Thank you.
1147
01:22:20,640 --> 01:22:22,596
Oi, Turkish delight.
1148
01:22:22,680 --> 01:22:25,831
Mm? o, lve got some
English delight here.
1149
01:22:32,600 --> 01:22:36,752
The trouble is, nobody
in this ships got enough to do.
1150
01:22:41,400 --> 01:22:43,960
Sound the alarm bell seven times.
1151
01:22:44,040 --> 01:22:46,873
- But thats boat stations...
- Do as youre told!
1152
01:23:01,040 --> 01:23:02,996
Ow signal abandon ship.
1153
01:23:20,720 --> 01:23:22,676
Lll give them something to do.
1154
01:23:24,280 --> 01:23:28,478
- L say. Whats happened?
- The engine rooms an inferno.
1155
01:23:28,560 --> 01:23:31,870
- Ld heard we struck an iceberg.
- An iceberg?
1156
01:23:35,040 --> 01:23:37,429
If l may make so bold, abandon ship.
1157
01:23:37,520 --> 01:23:41,069
I gathered that.
Morphia, syringe, torch...
1158
01:23:41,160 --> 01:23:43,720
And the medical comforts, Doctor?
1159
01:23:43,800 --> 01:23:46,439
Thats the first good idea
youve had.
1160
01:23:46,520 --> 01:23:48,476
Lll make the perishers sweat.
1161
01:23:48,560 --> 01:23:52,838
Oh, how tiresome. l hope this doesnt
give the Captain a headache.
1162
01:23:52,920 --> 01:23:55,912
- Quickly, ladies. Were sinking.
- Oh!
1163
01:23:56,000 --> 01:23:59,117
- Do you want any help?
- Oh, l cant do it up.
1164
01:23:59,200 --> 01:24:01,873
- Lll be in the lifeboat.
- You must do it!
1165
01:24:01,960 --> 01:24:04,269
Come on. Dont waste time.
1166
01:24:11,480 --> 01:24:13,516
Right. Up!
1167
01:24:19,960 --> 01:24:22,030
Dozy, idle nincompoops.
1168
01:24:22,120 --> 01:24:25,829
What the devils happening
to number three boat?
1169
01:24:27,800 --> 01:24:30,872
Man all lifeboats! At the double!
1170
01:24:30,960 --> 01:24:35,636
- Come on! This way! Hurry! Hurry!
- Come on! Step lively!
1171
01:24:41,120 --> 01:24:44,078
- Turn him round.
- Tear away lifelines.
1172
01:24:44,960 --> 01:24:47,679
Stand by, disengaging gear.
1173
01:24:49,760 --> 01:24:52,354
Mind, lve got water on the knee.
1174
01:24:52,440 --> 01:24:55,910
- Youll get water on the head.
- Where are the women?
1175
01:24:56,000 --> 01:24:59,788
- Miss Mallet? Miss Colbert?
- Whats the trouble, Mr Trail?
1176
01:24:59,880 --> 01:25:03,873
- Oh, dont worry.
- Maybe the steering gears worn out.
1177
01:25:03,960 --> 01:25:05,916
Dont panic! Please dont panic!
1178
01:25:06,000 --> 01:25:09,231
Come on. Lower away there!
Ships going down!
1179
01:25:09,320 --> 01:25:14,189
Doctor, if you dont get a move on,
youll end up wet!
1180
01:25:14,280 --> 01:25:17,750
Johnson? Williamson? Jenkins!
Wheres that ape of a cook?
1181
01:25:17,840 --> 01:25:20,957
- L lost Rosies photo.
- Thats not all youve lost.
1182
01:25:21,040 --> 01:25:23,270
- Oh!
- Come on. Get in there, all of you.
1183
01:25:23,360 --> 01:25:28,309
Incompetent imbeciles!
Call yourselves sailors?
1184
01:25:31,640 --> 01:25:34,438
Fireworks.
Oh, lve always loved them.
1185
01:25:34,520 --> 01:25:36,909
Lets take our proper places.
1186
01:25:37,000 --> 01:25:41,755
Oh! Please, let us keep our umbrellas
in their proper places, too.
1187
01:25:41,840 --> 01:25:44,479
So sorry. Dont panic, please.
1188
01:25:46,360 --> 01:25:50,399
- Cor! What a lash-up!
- Keep them dogs under control.
1189
01:25:50,960 --> 01:25:54,509
What a lash-up.
Lll never see Wapping again.
1190
01:25:59,120 --> 01:26:00,917
Theres time for that later.
1191
01:26:02,600 --> 01:26:07,958
Stop! Youre the doziest, idlest
bunch of incompetent nincompoops
1192
01:26:08,040 --> 01:26:10,634
lve ever
had the misfortune to sail with!
1193
01:26:10,720 --> 01:26:13,518
Ow, swing them all inboard again.
1194
01:26:13,600 --> 01:26:17,275
Get back to your quarters
and well start over again.
1195
01:26:17,360 --> 01:26:21,433
Right. Get back to your quarters.
Doc, you come with me.
1196
01:26:22,480 --> 01:26:24,869
Ow, lets have no dumb insolence.
1197
01:26:24,960 --> 01:26:26,916
- Hes drunk.
- Drunk?
1198
01:26:27,000 --> 01:26:30,549
- Hes got a bottle up there.
- On top of all those pills?
1199
01:26:30,640 --> 01:26:32,756
- Hes crackers.
- Hmm?
1200
01:26:32,840 --> 01:26:34,796
Hes incapable. Hes barmy.
1201
01:26:37,160 --> 01:26:41,836
Bosun, dismiss all hands. Disregard
all alarm signals. The Captains ill.
1202
01:26:41,920 --> 01:26:45,196
Mr Hornbeam, this is mutiny.
Lll clap you in irons!
1203
01:26:45,280 --> 01:26:47,475
- Your patients waiting.
- Mine?
1204
01:26:47,560 --> 01:26:51,758
Youre the doc. Youve got
soothing syrup, havent you?
1205
01:26:51,840 --> 01:26:55,719
Easter. Get the hypodermic, quickly.
1206
01:26:55,800 --> 01:26:59,076
Youd better
distract his attention somehow.
1207
01:26:59,160 --> 01:27:01,116
Mutinous scum!
1208
01:27:02,240 --> 01:27:05,710
Lll have the Board of Trade
on the lot of you for this
1209
01:27:07,120 --> 01:27:09,076
Oh, thank you.
1210
01:27:13,600 --> 01:27:17,434
- Ls it all right, Doctor?
- Ltll keep him quiet for a week.
1211
01:27:17,520 --> 01:27:20,990
- Well, bon voyage, Doctor.
- Youre coming with me.
1212
01:27:21,080 --> 01:27:23,196
Oh, no, no, no!
1213
01:27:23,280 --> 01:27:27,034
Youre coming with me.
Ow, hold that.
1214
01:27:29,360 --> 01:27:32,636
- Get off my bridge.
- Lts quite all right...
1215
01:27:36,760 --> 01:27:39,513
Ow, remember,
you stay close behind me.
1216
01:27:41,000 --> 01:27:44,151
When l reach for the hypodermic,
give it to me.
1217
01:27:45,560 --> 01:27:48,677
- Whos that?
- Lts all right. lts the Doctor.
1218
01:27:48,760 --> 01:27:51,069
- Get off my bridge.
- L wanted a word...
1219
01:27:51,160 --> 01:27:53,720
Get off my bridge,
you snotty-nosed medico!
1220
01:27:53,800 --> 01:27:55,199
Ow!
1221
01:27:58,160 --> 01:28:02,233
Cor! He aint half going
to have headache in the morning, Doc.
1222
01:28:03,320 --> 01:28:05,072
Doc?
1223
01:28:13,960 --> 01:28:17,316
Curious. Just when we need you most.
1224
01:28:17,400 --> 01:28:20,198
Youll be all right
but youll need a nurse.
1225
01:28:20,280 --> 01:28:23,113
Ever had a nurse in my life.
Wheres your cap?
1226
01:28:23,200 --> 01:28:26,829
Im sorry, sir. l leave him
in your hands. Best of luck.
1227
01:28:26,920 --> 01:28:28,876
Get out!
1228
01:28:30,440 --> 01:28:34,956
- How long do you suppose itll be?
- Another 40 years or so, l expect.
1229
01:28:35,040 --> 01:28:38,032
Ow, take your medicine
like a good boy...
1230
01:28:38,120 --> 01:28:40,429
or l shall tell Daddy.
1231
01:28:58,720 --> 01:29:01,075
Theres a telegram for Miss Helene.
1232
01:29:01,160 --> 01:29:04,038
- Take it to her.
- L thought you might like to.
1233
01:29:04,120 --> 01:29:07,317
- Why?
- Lt says shes got a job in Rio.
1234
01:29:07,400 --> 01:29:09,595
In Rio? How do you know?
1235
01:29:09,680 --> 01:29:13,150
Oh, lve got X-ray eyes, Doc,
then l had a read to make sure.
1236
01:29:13,240 --> 01:29:16,198
Easter, as we of the medical
fraternity say, youre a...
1237
01:29:20,400 --> 01:29:21,958
Go on, sir.
1238
01:29:23,520 --> 01:29:25,351
Stop!
1239
01:29:25,440 --> 01:29:28,034
- lts a telegram for you.
1240
01:29:28,120 --> 01:29:31,078
Youve got a job in Rio.
Can you hear me?
1241
01:29:31,160 --> 01:29:32,639
O.
1242
01:29:32,720 --> 01:29:34,676
Theres a telegram...
99223
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